Project Genesis Personality Development

Handout

Personality Development

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 Project Genesis Personality Development
Handout

Personality Development
1. Introduction

Definition of Personality: “the quality or state of being a person”

Usually when we talk about someone's personality, we are talking about what makes that person
different from other people, perhaps even unique. However, this aspect of personality covers only
individual differences.
Personality is a characteristic way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Personality embraces moods,
attitudes, and opinions and is most clearly expressed in interactions with other people. It includes
behavioral characteristics, both inherent and acquired, that distinguish one person from another and that
can be observed in people's relations to the environment.

2. Factors affecting development of personality

Psychologists say that there are two main factors which affect the development formation of a person's
personality. They are:

 Genetic Factors (some call this factor "Nature")

 Environmental Factors (also referred as "Nurture")

Psychologists have, in the past, had disputes over the topic of "Nature VS Nurture". "Nature VS
Nurture" indicates that biological and environmental factors compete against each other to develop a
person's personality. Also, one of these two factors may be more dominant than the other. Scientific
discoveries have shown to us now, that both of these two factors are needed for a person's personality to
develop normally.

3.0. Tips for developing a pleasing personality

3.1. Have a Positive Self-Image

Our self-image is the complex impression we have about our physical appearance, social rules, personal
history and personality traits; and it matters a lot. The image we have of ourselves is an important factor
in the development of our skills and our personality, in the maintenance of our emotional health and in
the sheer enjoyment of life!

Those with a negative self-image tend to:

 Lack self-confidence.
 Feel insecure, skeptical and fearful.
 Accept being ignored, hurt and rebuffed.
 Have no pride in their achievements.
 Feel embarrassed by compliments.

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Those with a positive self-image tend to:

 Accept themselves as they are.
 Accept others as they are.
 Feel secure and confident.
 Have reasonable pride in themselves and their achievements.
 Accept compliments gracefully.

The famous psychologist and author of the book “Games People Play”, the late Dr. Eric Berne, explored
the attitudes of people toward themselves and others. Through research and observation, he identified
4 attitudes to life:

a) I’m not O.K., you’re O.K. (The Sulk)

Such a person
 Is an introvert and cannot accept himself.
 Suffers from an inferiority complex and gets away from others.
 Thinks his life is not worth much, so looks for support.
 Gets negative strokes.

b) I’m not O.K., you’re not O.K. (The Loser)

Such a person
 Rejects himself, so does not trust himself and others.
 Cannot get along with others, easily gives up.
 Thinks that life is not worth living, blame the whole world for his problems.
 Gives and gets negative strokes.

c) I’m O.K., you’re not O.K.(The Arrogant)

Such a person
 Forcibly asserts self-acceptance.
 Is bossy and demanding, gets rid of others.
 Thinks that his life is more important than that of others.
 Gives negative strokes.

d) I’m O.K., you’re O.K. ( The Winner)

Such a person
 Accepts himself and others as they are.
 Gets along with others with mutual respect.
 Thinks that life is worth living.
 Gives and gets positive strokes.

We cannot be in one of these situations all the time. Depending upon our moods and the circumstances,
we fit into one or more of these categories.

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So here is a 5-point technique of coming to grips with yourself to create a positive self image.

 Believe in yourself: Remember that your unique thumb impression makes you a person
uniquely gifted by God with special talents. So don’t compare yourself to others. Compete
only with yourself.

 Rediscover yourself: Know your strength and build on them; also know your weakness and
correct them. The only person you can change is yourself. If you don’t like the way you are,
its time to change.

 Discover others around you: Accept other people as they are because you cannot change
them but you can influence them to change only if you change yourself.

 Focus on Success: Unfortunately we choose to remember only bad times, hardship and
failures. Remember you were born to succeed. Think of your past achievements and the good
times you’ve had with your family and friends.

 Live and act for what you believe is right: A lot of people can tell you what to do and
what not to do, but nobody can really advise you correctly on ethics. Set your own high
personal moral standards and live up to them and you will eventually be respected.

3.2. Aim at Excellence

Excellence means giving your best effort in whatever you do. Your best efforts are different from
another person’s best efforts and these cannot be compared because everyone has strengths and
weaknesses
Try the guidelines given below:

 Be ambitious: Think big depending upon your personal strengths and weaknesses. If you are
strong in certain areas, keep it up; if you are weak in certain other areas, get out of the rut by
reducing your weaknesses. It is only when you think and aim at something big that you will
begin to act and prepare in a manner that will bring you success

 Set goals: Setting goals is like aiming at a target. It helps you plan activities that will take
you along the proper road to your destination.

 Don’t be afraid of mistakes: There is nobody in this world who can honestly and
confidently say that he never makes mistakes. Nobody makes mistakes for fun. All great
discoveries and inventions have been made through trial and error.

 Have a positive attitude: Whenever we attempt anything there is a tendency to be alert

about the consequence of failure. Why not be alert to the consequence of success also? After
all we do not attempt anything in order to fail, but we do get so obsessed with the
consequences that we constantly have starting trouble. There is always an element of risk in
whatever we do.

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 Perseverance is the key: Whenever we don’t achieve what we have aimed at, there is a
tendency to give up. It is only in very exceptional cases that one reaches the top in the first
attempt. When you persevere, never give up; look at the failure as lack of success or a
temporary setback rather than a defeat. Remember failures are stepping stones to success.

3.3. Improve your Memory

Good memory is not about learning things by heart. Research has shown that memory depends
upon two main factors:

a) Interest: We are determined to remember film songs and cricket statistics because these
interest us. We also remember the hates, the hurts and the grudges that we have against
people because we are interested in getting even with them in future.

b) Practice: Together with interest and practice there is a strong desire to remember things that
we like. That is why we make it a point to remember only those things.

So, if you want to cultivate a strong memory to remember your lessons, build a positive attitude
with the following tips:

 Feel confident about yourself: Try to trust yourself and your memory, so that you feel good
about yourself and begin to read and learn with interest.

 Have a reason for remembering: Nothing happens by chance. There is a cause for every
effect. So, when you want to remember anything, have a strong and genuine reason. This
helps you to motivate yourself particularly when there is no support or backing from others.
Many of our great leaders have had a difficult childhood due to economic problems, but they
had a reason and a determination to become ‘somebody’ when they grow up; so they
persevered.

 Use your senses as frequently as possible: Look for familiar characteristics, listen to
sounds and to what others are saying, sniff unusual smells or fragrances, touch objects to get
familiar and when it comes to food, taste it. All our senses enable us to appreciate what is
happening around us and when these are unfamiliar, we tend to remember them, because they
are exceptional.

 Read or study systematically: Whenever you read your lessons, try to use the PREP
formula, which goes as follows:
P – Point: What is the theme of your lesson? What is the writer trying to bring to your attention?
Are there any other points that you should pay attention to?

R – Reason: What reasons does the writer give to justify his/her point? Do you agree with the
reasons? If you were the writer what reasons would you give? Discuss this with your friends
and come up with common ideas.

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E – Examples: What examples does the writer give to strengthen the point and the reason? Are
these relevant to the subject? Can you cite other examples?

P – Point: Finally come back to the main point to remind yourself of what the writer is stating in
the theme of the lesson.
Device other acronyms when you study or read. It will make the exercise of remembering a
pleasure rather than a misery.

 Follow up: Reading and learning anything once or twice is generally not enough. It is
necessary to read at least 8 to 10 times with concentration and without disturbance so that the
matter registers in your mind. After a break of about 2 months try to recall what you have
read to test your memory. If you find it difficult, then read again about 8 to 10 times to
strengthen your memory.

In your effort to create interest and to practice, you will need a lot of patience and perseverance.
When you persevere, you put in efforts until you have achieved your target. When you fail to
persevere, you tend to leave the job incomplete.

3.4. Nurture your Creative Power

Creativity is about doing ordinary task in an extraordinary manner.

All of us have creative bent, but what matters is how we identify this talent for creativity and make use
of it. Here are some suggestions:

 Be aware: There is so much happening around us that we take things for granted and just
tolerate what is going on. It is important to be alert and conscious or else we are merely
existing rather than living.

 Be curious: Keep asking questions. Find out why certain events take place and their
significance; like the numerous Indian festivals; or why people behave the way they do,
which sometimes defies logic and understanding. Albert Einstein had the habit of lying down
on the grass and looking up at the sky. His teachers often told him that he would never
succeed in life, yet he introduced the Theory of Relativity for which he won the Nobel Prize
for Physics.

 Be open to change: The world around us is changing rapidly because new and imaginative
ideas are being generated almost everyday in every field.

 Be prepared to learn: Knowledge is not a monopoly of any person or a group of persons.

Learning is a lifelong process.

 Keep trying: We seem to cultivate a tendency of giving up all efforts after a few tries. In
spite of the many odds that we face, patience and perseverance has always been rewarded in
the long run.

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3.5. Use your Creative Power

All of us have creative talent, but we need to cultivate the right attitude to express our creativity.
One of the tricks is: SCAMPER – acronym

S – Substitute: Use alternated methods and different means. There are many ways to doing the same
job. What we need is the proper result at an economical cost.

C – Combine: Unite, bring together, team up.

A – Adapt: Adjust to changing times, purpose, conditions and needs. Its time we gear ourselves to a
fast-changing world.

M – Modify: Increase, reduce, change the format or structure.

P – Play around: Try something new and bold even if it involves taking some calculated risk.

E – Eliminate: Remove, omit or leave out. Our lives are geared around systems prepared for us by
“experts”. To add to that there are traditions to follow. So, we prefer to follow tradition rather than risk
criticism. Yet, you will appreciate that those who have created history are the ones who dared to be
different, particularly elimination.

R – Re-arrange: Reverse, re-order, and change the purpose of use.

4.6. Win over Other People

 Accept others as they are: Everyone is different. No two human beings are alike. While, I
may not agree with their thinking, I should surely respect it, because I cannot change anyone
except myself.

 Appreciate others: Everybody, young and old alike, desires and deserves appreciation,
because it motivates everyone to do better; unfortunately, appreciation is lacking in many of
us and as a result, people are not motivated to put in their best efforts. When you show
appreciation, you encourage others to participate in activities with renewed enthusiasm.

 Avoid open criticism: There are many people who cannot appreciate the good in others but
on the contrary they are quick to criticize and that too in the presence of others. This only
causes depression and frustration.

 Listen carefully: When we listen with care we indicate to the other person that we are
attentive and interested.

 Be friendly: When you offer your friendship genuinely, it is the first step in helping the other
find his/her self-confidence.

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4.0. Importance of grooming and first impression

What is grooming?

 To make neat or attractive

 To take care of one’s external appearance

In what way does grooming help develop your personality?

Grooming helps in three major ways:

a. When you look good, you feel good,
b. When you look good, other people have a better impression of you and take you more
seriously
c. Grooming involves good hygiene that in turns leads to better health and overall radiance.

Grooming does for a person what the sun does for the sky: it lights up everything.

Personality tells about competence. “This need not be a correct statement but normally many people first
judge a person based on appearance, verbal communication and behavior. This may not be correct in
many cases but it is normal. Many a time actual performance and character of a person is ignored
initially.

To improve ‘acceptance by people’ one has to work or groom in many areas.

4.1 First Impression –Does it matters?

It really matters as first impressions are lasting impression.

You have thirty seconds or less to make a first impression. People appraise your visual and behavioral
appearance from head to toe. They observe your demeanor, mannerisms, and body language and even
assess your grooming and accessories – watch, handbag, briefcase etc. This first impression process
occurs in every new situation. Within the first few seconds, people pass judgment on you – looking for
common surface clues. Once the first impression is made, it is virtually irreversible. Whatever happens
during that time sets the stage for future relationships. You’re either creating positive impressions that
will open doors, or negative impressions with untold consequences. Many times, we don’t know that
people might think poorly of us because they simply avoid us. Or we’ve unknowingly created obstacles
in a relationship and have to work that much harder to establish trust.

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The process works like this:

 If you appear to be of comparable business or social level, you are considered suitable for
further interaction.
 If you appear to be of higher business or social status, you are admired and cultivated as a
valuable contact.
 If you appear to be of lower business or social standing, you are tolerated but kept at arm's
length.
 If you are in an interview situation, you can either appear to match the corporate culture or
not, ultimately affecting the outcome.

It is human nature to constantly make these appraisals, in business and social environments. You may
hardly have said a word, however once this thirty-second evaluation is over, the content of your speech
will not change it. When you make the best possible first impression, you have your audience in the
palm of your hand. When you make a poor first impression, you lose your audience’s attention, no
matter how hard you scramble to recover it.

5.0 Tips on grooming and creating positive first impression

5.1 It starts with you:

 Appearance: We cannot do much to our feature but well grooming surely help to improve.
Nail, hair, skin, moustache, spectacle, cloths, shoe, hygiene are few elements that are visible
from outside. It is necessary to give enough importance to good grooming. Do not ignore
personal hygiene because it matters – remember those advertisements of toothpaste or talcum
powder.

Take care of dress code to suit the occasion. Need not go for a designer outfit but being tidy
and well dressed goes a long way in creating an image to build relation or finalize a [Link]
not forget to shine your shoe.

 Attitude: Be positive in dealings. It talks about your intension and attitude. A man with
positive attitude enjoys the confidence of colleagues and respected by everyone.
 Confidence: A confident person always wins. It talks about you and everyone prefers a self
assured person rather than a confused one.
 Take the initiative: Instead of waiting for others to form impressions of you, determine how
you want to be perceived. What three descriptive words do you want others to associate with
your name? Behave and speak in ways that are consistent with those words.
 Share what you can do, not what you cannot: Whatever you focus on tends to expand.
When you emphasize your strengths, they will grow and you will be associated with success.
 Practice the platinum rule: Communicate with other people as they want to be
communicated with, not based on your needs. Some people prefer just the facts, while others
prefer more socializing.
 Punctuality: It is important as all other key factors. In case of official meetings and public
functions, people may not talk about your punctuality but everyone remembers it.

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5.2 Listening

 Commit to listening: It is different from hearing. Listening is active and requires intent,
focus and energy. Hearing is passive and requires no special skills.
 Seek to understand first, and then respond: Judgment and criticism act as barriers to
effective listening.
 Respond to the speaker’s whole message: Emotions and feelings are most reliably
conveyed through nonverbal communication, such as facial expression, eye contact and
posture. If you interpret a person’s message based on his words alone, you will be missing
half the message.
 Develop a sense of empathy: Attempt to understand other people’s perspectives and world
views by imagining yourself in their shoes.

5.3 Words and phrases

 Use positive words: You will come across as more positive as well.
 Drop the word “try” from your vocabulary: The word “try” is a verbal escape clause that
communicates to your listeners a lack of commitment on your part. Instead of trying to do
your best, just do your best.
 Demonstrate open-mindedness as well as flexibility by replacing the words “always”
and “never.”: Rarely are these words accurate descriptions of a person or situation. Better
choices of words are “sometimes,” “often” and “occasionally.”
 Acknowledge people who have helped you by saying thank you.

5.4 Delivering your message

 Speak at a rate of about 150 words per minute: Figure out your rate of speaking by
reading 150 words of a book or article out loud and timing yourself. Slow talkers are thought
of as boring and unintelligent, while fast talkers are often perceived as being dishonest.
 Incorporate pauses: Pauses are verbal commas and are necessary to give listeners a chance
to digest information they are receiving. Instead of uttering “um” between sentences, pause.
Silence can be very commanding.

5.5 Telephone Etiquette

 Smile when you are talking on the phone just as you would in person: This adds warmth
to your voice, which radiates through the line.
 Resist multitasking while on the phone: If a caller hears you typing away on the computer,
talking to other people or eating, it sends the message that he is unimportant.

5.6 Body Language

 Consider what you are communicating through your physical appearance: Do you look
confident, competent and trustworthy? Clothing, hairstyle and grooming all count toward
your personal message.

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 Match your words with your actions: When speech and body language are inconsistent, we
believe what we see instead of what we hear. Actions really do speak louder than words!
 Maintain an appropriate personal space: Between four feet and 18 inches is considered an
acceptable distance for business situations and casual socializing. Standing closer than 18
inches is considered too intimate.

6.0 Interview Facing Techniques

 Confidence: Have confidence in your ability. First believe in yourselves & then convince
your interviewer.
Confidence is the great counterbalancing factor for entry level college grads. The confidence
factor is one of the most quickly recognized skills in the brief on-campus interview and one
of the most highly reliable predictors of future performance.
 Positive Thinking: Continuous positive reinforcement for self development.
 First Impression Counts: In the first few minutes of your interview, you are noted for the
most critical aspects like your appearance, your grooming, your handshake, your articulation,
your eye contact, your personal presence and your personality. The reason why you have
been called for the interview is your work experience and qualification; what really works
during the interview are the above mentioned factors.
 Relax & Smile

6.1 Interview Questions

 Credential Verification Question: Purpose is to verify the objective measurement features

of your background.
e.g. “How long were you at ….?
 Experience Verification Question: Purpose is to verify experiential features of your
background.
e.g. “What were your responsibilities in that position?”
 Opinion Question: Purpose is to subjectively analyze how you would respond to a scenario.
e.g. “What your strengths & weakness?” or “What would you do in that situation?”
 Dumb Question: Purpose is to get past your pre-programmed answers to find out if you are
capable of an original thought. There is no right or wrong answer.
e.g. “What kind of animal you would like to be?”
 Math Question: Purpose is to evaluate not only your mental math calculation skills, but also
your creative ability in formulating the mathematical formula for providing an answer.
e.g. “What is 1000 divided by 73?”
 Case Question: Purpose is to evaluate your problem-solving abilities and how you would
analyze and work through potential case situations.
 Behavioral Question: Purpose is to anticipate predictable future behaviors based upon past
responses.
e.g. “What were the steps you followed to accomplish that task?”
 Competency Question: Purpose is to align your past behaviors with specific competencies
which are required for the position.
e.g. "Explain a way in which you sought a creative solution to a problem."

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