Year 8 & 9

Student Name: Yonal Wickramasinghe

Hendersons’ Creative Writing Feedback Report
This feedback is specific to the assessed written piece, not the student’s overall writing skills. Read the exemplary level of the rubric carefully, this will tell you what you need to do
to achieve a higher mark on your writing.

Exemplary Competent Developing Needs Improvement Score

85 – 100% 65 – 84% 40 – 64% 0 – 39%
☐ Introduces relevant who, what, when and ☐ Introduces characters, including  Provides some context for the story which ☐ does not clearly Click or
tap here
where elements of the story that will be later aspects of their personality and/or may include who, what, when or where. introduce the who, what,
to enter
Orientation

developed in the piece. motivations. when, where elements of text.

☐ Introduces character & setting by showing, ☐ Establishes a context for the story the piece.
not telling (e.g. through character actions & including where/when and necessary
dialogue). background details that develops
0-5
☐ Grabs the reader’s attention using action some intrigue. 10-12 6-9
and compulsion. 13-15 8/15
☐ Action builds towards a climax (the most ☐ Action and tension are built  A problem for the characters is described. ☐ No problem or rising Click or
tap here
exciting part of the story) with detailed through the middle of the piece.  An attempt is made to use dialogue and action is included in the
to enter
description and imagery. ☐ Effective description and dialogue description to progress the story. story, or it is unclear what
Rising action/climax

text.
☐ Details and dialogue are relevant, help are used to progress the story  Characters’ physical appearance and/or they are.
drive the story forward and build tension. towards the rising action. personality traits are described with ☐ Character description is
☐ Characters have a distinct voice, and their ☐ Characterisation emerges through adjectives and adverbs. minimal or unclear.
personality is revealed through actions, descriptions, actions, speech or the
relationships and descriptions of their introduction of the thoughts and
thoughts and feelings. feelings of characters.
☐ Characterisation is consistent and 10-16 0-9 15/2
17-21
believable. 22-
25 5
☐ A plausible and logical resolution to the ☐ A plausible resolution to the piece ☐ The resolution is rushed with some kind of ☐ No resolution included
piece that provides a satisfying ending. is described. “magic” used to solve problems (e.g. time or it is incomplete. Click or
tap here
☐ The resolution describes a development in machine, supernatural power). ☐ There is no clear to enter
characters or the state of the world, so not ☐ Resolution relies on cliché (e.g. “then I problem established to
Resolution

text.
everything is the same as it was at the start of woke up…”, or “they lived happily ever after.” resolve.
the story. ☐ The story concludes without
☐ No new elements are introduced. development in the characters or story.
☐ Is surprising, but inevitable.  Resolution is not fully explained or there
13-15 are gaps in logic.
10-12 6-9 0-5
6/15

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 Creative, sustained interpretation of the The prompt is used as a starting Reference to the prompt in the piece No reference to the
prompt that builds on themes, context, mood point or referenced at least once to shows only a literal interpretation. prompt at all, or the
or tone that may arise from the prompt. explore an idea or context. connection is unclear.
Details in the piece accurately reflect the
3-4 1-2 0
details provided in the prompt, including
addressing all elements if made up of multiple
parts (e.g. two images). 5 2/5
☐ Originality & creativity is shown through  There is a combination of original ☐ Plot developments are predictable. ☐ Piece shows no Click or
Originality

tap here
narrative structure, plot development and/or and conventional ideas throughout originality.
1-2 to enter
resolution. the piece. text.
5 3-4 0
3/5
☐ Varied sentence structures and lengths are ☐ Sentences are grammatically  The use of run-on sentences, fragments ☐ Not shown, or Click or
Control of
sentences

tap here
used to engage the reader. correct so narrative can be easily or convoluted sentence structures disrupts ☐ Ideas are unclear. to enter
☐ There is a logical progression of ideas followed by the reader. the meaning of the piece. text.
7-8 4-6 0-3
between sentences. 9-10
5/10
☐ Colourful & precise vocabulary choices  A variety of adjectives and adverbs ☐ Vocabulary is simple and/or repetitive. ☐ Not shown, or Click or
Vocabulary /

tap here
create a sense of mood, time and place are used to help paint a picture for the ☐ Too much description detracts from the ☐ Ideas are unclear.
description

to enter
throughout the piece. reader. story or does not help it progress. 4-6 text.
9-10 7-8 0-3

7/10
Additional comment/feedback: Mechanics of writing
Dear Yonal Exemplar
Competent Developing
Needs
Thank you for your creative essay today. You Area y Improvement
have made an attempt at an interesting story Spelling ☐ ☐  ☐ 8 /15
which matches the elements of the given prompt. Punctuation ☐  ☐ ☐
There are tense inconsistencies within your Handwriting ☐  ☐ ☐
essay. It is important to maintain a consistent Awareness of tenses ☐ ☐  ☐
tense throughout your tale. Past tense is Paragraphing ☐  ☐ ☐
generally the easiest to maintain. Follows features of form (e.g. ☐ ☐  ☐
It was difficult to understand what had happened memoir)
during the story. FINAL SCORE:
Next time, be sure to plan each paragraph Click or tap here to enter text.
carefully and include a well-reasoned, logical
resolution which resolves the main complication 54/100
and leaves the reader feeling satisfied.
CORRECTOR’S NAME:
Karena

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------TEACHER REFERENCE ONLY --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Out of 5: E = 5 , C = 3-4 , D = 1-2 , NI = 0 | Out of 10: E = 9-10 , C = 7-8 , D = 4-6 , NI = 0-3 | Out of 15: E = 13-15 , C = 10-12 , D = 6-9 , NI = 0-5 | Out of 25: E = 25-22 , C = 17-21 , D = 10-
16 , NI = 0-9 | No half marks to be awarded
© Hendersons Educational Services Pty Ltd 2024