Unit 1

Personal Development

1
 Standards and Objectives
Unit 1: Personal Development
Performance Objective #1
Complete FCCLA Step One. http//[Link]/cte/facs_cabinet10.html

Performance Objective #2
Create a road map of life that analyzes the influence of personal values and goals related to
college/career pathways.

Performance Objective #3
Demonstrate the correct usage of I-Messages in each of the following environments: family,
career and community.

STANDARD 1
Students will gain skills to help them deal with young adults transitions into adult life and
college/career success.
Objective 1: Discuss how each person is unique, but alike, in the Havighurst developmental tasks.
(STEM) *Human Development/Biology
a. Identify Havighurst’s developmental tasks and challenges that occur during the teenage
years and conditions that can impede, delay, or interrupt these tasks\roadblocks.
b. Identify skills which lead to an understanding of self (self-esteem, self-concept, how to build self-
concept, and personality assessment).
c. Identify and define personal values (tangible and intangible) using the values cycle.
d. Define short and long-term goals. (Short term goals are the stepping stones to achieving long term
goals. All goals should be realistic, measurable, and specific.)

Objective 2: Discuss and analyze the healthy expression of personal and professional emotions.
a. Compare positive and negative methods of expressing and communicating emotions in family, career
and community environments.
b. Analyze differences between passive, assertive and aggressive behavior.
c. Identify the consequences of controlled and uncontrolled emotions on individuals, families and
communities.
d. Define stress (stressor, eustress, distress, stress reducer). (STEM) *Biology
e. Identify and review stress management skills (causes and effects, management techniques).

Objective 3: Identify and recognize personal communication styles and discuss the importance of quality
communication skills as they relate to family, career and community environments.
a. Discuss styles of communication and their effects (child, parent, adult).
b. Identify and analyze the three types of communication (constructive, destructive and nonverbal).
c. Utilize I-Messages in developing positive relationships in families, careers and communities.
d. Identify how positive conflict resolution and active listening skills enhance human relationships.

2
 Developmental Tasks and Roadblocks
What are Developmental Tasks?
skills
__________ required for successful ________________
progression from childhood into adulthood.
mature relationships
Task 1: Develop ____________________________________ with peers of both genders.
gender role
Task 2: Adopt a _________________________.
Accepect your body
Task 3: __________________________________ as it is and make the most of what you have.
Task 4: Become ______________________________________
emotionally independent from parents and other adults.
Task 5: Prepare for ________________________________________
marriage and family life.
career
Task 6: Select and prepare for a _______________________.
priorities
Task 7: Adopt __________________ in keeping with personal goals and societal expectations.
responsible behavior
Task 8: Adopt socially ___________________________________.

What are Roadblocks?

Obstacles
____________________ interrupt
that come into our path that stop or __________________ our
process down the road of life.

Roadblocks are created by: Common Major Roadblocks:

Nature
1. _________________ • Crisis/Trauma • Abuse
Other's choices
2. _________________ • Divorce • Teen Pregnancy
Our choices
3. _________________ • Death • Drugs/Alcohol
• Severe Illness • Addictions/OCD Behavior

Dealing with Roadblocks:

 Teens will need to ____________________
stop and deal with the roadblocks in order to move forward
successfully.
 Sometimes you can handle it on your own, but sometimes you will need ____________
help to
move past the obstacles.
 Who can you turn to for help in getting past your roadblocks? (List 3)
1. __________________
Parents
2. __________________
Siblings
3. __________________
Friends

3
 Values and Goals
What are Values?
 Anything in life that is _______________________
important to us.
 They determine how we _____________
live and how we tell the difference between
right
___________ and _______________.
wrong

Two Types of Values

 ______________:
Tangiable Material things in our lives. They usually cost money to obtain.
(Examples include: Jewelry, cars, clothes, etc.)

Smart phone, laptop, clothes

List one of your personal tangible values: ________________________________________________________

 ______________:
Intangiable Non-material things in our lives. Usually can’t be bought with money.
(Examples include: Love, honesty, kindness, etc.)

respect, loyalty, empathy

List one of your personal intangible values: _______________________________________________________

Feel ashamed Self-confidence

Loose self-esteem Build self-esteem

4
 VALUES RANKING ACTIVITY
Place a check mark in the column across from each value that best represents you.
Extremely Not
VALUES Important
Important Important
WISDOM: Having mature understanding, insight, good sense and
good judgment.
WEALTH: Having many possessions and plenty of money for the
things one wants.
TRUSTWORTHINESS: Being honest, straightforward and caring.
SKILL: Being able to use knowledge effectively; being good at
doing something important for you and others.
RELIGIOUS FAITH: Having religious belief.

RECOGNITION: Being important, well-liked and accepted.

POWER: Possession of control, authority, or influence over others.

HAPPINESS: Satisfaction, gratification, fun, joy.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE: Concern for being attractive; being
neat, clean and well groomed.
MORALITY: Believing in and keeping ethical standards, personal
honor and integrity.
LOYALTY: Maintaining allegiance to a person, group or institution.

LOVE: Warmth, caring, unselfish devotion.

KNOWLEDGE: Seeking truth, information, or principles for
satisfaction or curiosity.
JUSTICE: Treating others fairly or impartially; conforming to truth,
fact or reason.
HONESTY: Being frank and genuine with everyone.

HEALTH: Being sound of body and practicing healthy habits.

CREATIVITY: The creation of new ideas and designs; being
innovative.
JOB: One’s lifetime work or employment.

FAMILY: One’s present family and/or future family.

EDUCATION: Maintaining good grades in school, college, etc.

ACHIEVEMENT: Accomplishments; results brought about by
resolve, persistence or endeavor.

LIST YOUR TOP FIVE VALUES IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE

Happiness
1. _____________ Family
2. _______________ 3. Trustworthiness Love
______________ 4. ______________ Achievement
5. ______________
5
What are Goals?
 ___________
Plans accomplish
you make to help you reach or _______________ something in the future.
Two Types of Goals:
 _______________________:
Short-term goals Usually accomplished quickly (1-3 days).
(Examples include: Doing the dishes, finishing an English paper, etc.)

Passing the AP Biology exam

List one personal short-term goal: ___________________________________________
 _______________________:
Long-term goals Usually takes longer to accomplish (Months-Years).
(Examples Include: Graduating from High School, getting a job, etc.)

graduating high school, getting a job

List one personal long-term goal: ___________________________________________
Setting Successful Goals:
 Achieving your short-term goals will ________________________
help you reach your long-term goals.
 All goals should be: ______________,
realistic ___________________,
measurable ___________________.
specific
 Don’t give up what you want _______________
most now
for what you want right ____________.

Self-Esteem and Building Confidence

What is Self-Concept?
 The __________________
combination of self-image and self-esteem. The way we perceive our
whole
_____________ selves.
 __________:
Self-image the way we see ourselves physically.
 __________:
Self-esteem the way we think of feel about ourselves. (This can change from moment to moment.)

Two Types of Self-Esteem:

 ___________________:
High self-esteem feeling positively about yourself, your actions and future.
 ___________________:
Low self-esteem feeling negatively about yourself, your actions and your future.

Ten Things I Love About Me

List the top ten things your love about yourself.
My physical appearance
1. __________________________________ My creativity
6. __________________________________
2. __________________________________
My kindness My growth/progress
7. __________________________________
My integrity
3. __________________________________ 8. __________________________________
My face
My empathy
4. __________________________________ 9. __________________________________
My self-awareness
My sense of humor
5. __________________________________ 10. _________________________________
My patience

6
What is Self-Confidence?
 Believing in __________________
yourself and your abilities.
 When you _______________
trust yourself to do what’s right no matter what!
 Take things ____________________________
step-by-step to build self-confidence.
 Nobody is born with self-confidence. It grows from taking ___________
risks and trying
new
__________ things.

Building Self-Esteem and Self-Confidence

Circle 3-5 that you will try this week.
Accept yourself for who you are and Make decisions that help you stick to your
Stop comparing yourself to others!
recognize your strengths. values.
Remember…nobody is perfect so stop
Forgive yourself for mistakes. Learn a new skill.
trying to be!
Get outside your “comfort zone” and try
Set and accomplish realistic goals. Live within your value system.
new things. Start small and don’t give up.
Be kind to others. (What goes around,
Speak up! Let your opinion be heard Be positive.
comes around.)
Reach out to others and make new Remember who you really are and who you
Be assertive.
friends/improve friendships. want to be.
Choose friends that help build your self- Don’t give up. Building self-esteem is
View mistakes as learning opportunities.
confidence/self-esteem. not easy.
Recognize what you can change and learn
Stop giving yourself negative messages Get healthy. (Eat right/exercise/good
what you can’t change. Then, learn how to
and use positive self-talk. hygiene, etc.)
accept it.
Take some time for yourself to Learn to NOT accept negative messages
Ignore put-downs or labels from others.
meditate or relax. from others.

Emotions
Basic Human Emotions:
Happiness
1. _________________ Sadness
2. _________________ Love
3. _________________

Hate
4. _________________ 5. _________________
Anger 6. _________________
Fear

7
Expressing Emotions
 People express emotions in a ________________
variety of ways.
 We learn how to control and express our emotions _______________
appropriately as we grow
older
____________.

Consequences of Uncontrolled Emotions

Legal Results in choosing behaviors that are against the law.
Mental Factors that affect an individual emotionally because of the behavior.
Social Effects on the community, family and individuals because of the behavior.
Ethical Moral and religious values that are violated because of the behavior.
Physical Harm or injury that can come to people because of the behavior.
Financial Dollar costs to individuals and communities as a result of the behavior.

Types of Behavior
Three Main Types of Behavior:
1. _______________
Passive 2. _______________
Aggresive 3. _______________
Assertive
 Let others walk all over them.  Always looking for a fight.  Calmly, but insistently, state their
 Follow the “crowd” and allow  In the middle of everyone’s feelings in a non-emotional way.
others to make decisions for them. business.  Do not allow others to manipulate,
 Lack courage to express feelings.  Masters at verbal or physical intimidate or control their behavior.
 Followers. battle.  Use “I” Messages.
 All passivism to control their  Thrive on intimidating others.  If in a threatening situation, they will
emotions and are disappointed that  Believe that aggression breeds walk away and seek help if appropriate.
they are manipulated by others. aggression.  Tell someone if the situation is harmful,
 See something wrong, but do  They often bring out the worst in dangerous or against the law.
nothing about it. OTHERS.

Dealing With and Expressing Anger

Types of Anger
 ______________:
Hot anger explosive anger , comes from feelings kept inside, hurtful to others,
people “blow up” at others
 ______________:
Cold anger stored inside, not shared with others, self-destructive/”eats away” at
people, feelings are not dealt with, physical symptoms
 ______________:
Warm anger appropriate anger, expression of anger in a calm way, it’s okay to feel
angry, but deal with it appropriately without hurting yourself or others.
 ___________
Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical fights, abuse, assault and self-harm.
 On the other hand, ____________________
well-managed anger can be a useful emotion that motivates
you to make positive changes.
8
Physical Effects of Uncontrolled Anger
 _____________________
Headache • Depression
_____________________
 Digestion Problems • High Blood Pressure
 Insomnia • Skin Problems (Eczema)
 _____________________
Anxiety • Heart Attack/Stroke
Expressing Anger in a Healthy Way
 _______________________
Walk away from the situation until you have control of your emotions.
 _____________________
Recognize and accept the emotion.
 Try to pinpoint the exact ______________________
reasons why you feel angry.
 ______________________________
Problem solving strategies for dealing with the situation in advance.
 Do something _________________________
physical like exercise or playing a sport.
 Seek _____________
help if needed.

Stress and Stress Management

What is Stress?
 The body’s reaction to _______________,
pressure either _______________
mentally or ______________.
physically
Two Types of Stress
 _______________________________:
Eustress Weddings, special date, birth of a baby, etc.
specaial date, birthday, presentation
List an example of eustress in your life: __________________________________________________________

 _______________________________:
Distress Death in the family, divorce, injury, etc.
death of a family member, injury, sense of danger
List an example of distress in your life: ___________________________________________________________

Stressors
 Things or events that ______________
cause us stress.
 Stressors are found _____________________
everywhere and we cannot always get rid of or avoid
them. But, the way we ________
deal with them will make them either positive or negative.
 Common Stressors: school, family, friends, work and others.
school, family, studying
List an example of a stressor in your life: _________________________________________________________
Signs of Stress
 ___________:
Physical tiredness, injury, insomnia, headache, tense muscles, etc.
 ___________:
Emotional worrying, irritability, crying, feeling anxious, nightmares, depression, etc.
 ___________:
Behavioral acting-out, inability to eat, extreme anger, hitting/punching, nail biting,
nervous twitch, etc.
Managing Stress
 Acknowledge It • Get Organized • Take a Break
 Good Diet • Make a “To-Do” List • Laugh
 ____________________
Regular sleep • ____________________
Don't procrastinate • Say “NO” to Things
 ____________________
Exercise • Mentally Count Down • __________________
Listen to Music
 Building Good Relationships • List a way you manage stress: _______________________________
go to a quiet place, listen to music, run
9
 Styles of Communication
Child-Like Communication
 The ______________________
easiest and most natural communication to use.
 Very ________________
immature least effective
method and the __________________ when you are an adult.

Characteristics:
 Self-centered • Interrupting
 No listening • Acting out of control
 Whining • Yelling
 Name calling • Throwing tantrums
 Giving orders • Topping/”One Upping”
Parent-Like Communication
Nothing
 __________________ to do with actually being a parent. (Two year olds are pro!)
comply
 Only effective because it usually gets someone else to ____________ give in
or ____________.

Characteristics:
 Giving instructions • Demanding
 Directing • Ordering
 Not listening • Punishing
Adult-Like Communication
 __________________
Highest level of communication and the most effective.
 It takes ____________
time to learn and use.
 Involves active ___________________.
listening

Characteristics:
 Open tow-way communication • Respect for each other’s feelings
 All take responsibility for comments/actions • All have a “win-win” attitude
 All remain calm and control strong emotions

Types of Communication
Constructive Communication
 ____________________
Positive communication that contributes to a meaningful exchange of
ideas and builds up yourself and others.

Examples:
 Giving positive and encouraging messages • Asking questions
 Sending clear messages • Being honest and open
 Keeping the confidences (appropriate secrets) • Speaking with respect
 Using tact • Using active listening skills
 Using “I” Messages
10
Destructive Communication
Negative
 ________________________ communication that “tears down” yourself and others.

Examples:
 Insults, harassment and teasing • Sarcasm
 Threatening • Gossip
 Lying and accusing • Topping
 Using “You” Messages • Not listening
 Swearing

Non-Verbal Communication
movement ____________
 The way a person expresses themselves through _____________, posture and
facial expression
______________________.
 Can often be _______________________
misread and misunderstood.
different
 Possible to send one type of verbal message and a _________________ type of non-verbal
message at the same time.
Active Listening Skills
• Pay attention. Don’t interrupt.
• _____________________________.
eye contact
• Look at the speaker / ________________. • Don’t let your emotions get in the way.
• Stop other tasks and listen. • Don’t rush the conversation.
• Listen with appropriate body language. phone
• Put the __________________ away!
• Give verbal clues that show you are • Don’t shift your attention to your own
listening. problems.

“I” Messages
What are “I” Messages?
how
 “I” Messages are a helpful way of communicating how you ___________ why
and ___________
you feel that way without losing control of your emotions.
conflicts
 They allow you to resolve _______________ without others feeling blamed or attached.
 They do take _____________
time practice
and ________________ to use effectively.

Parts of an “I” Messages:

I feel...
 ____________________ (Identify the feeling)
When you...
 ____________________ (Describe the behavior)
Because…
 ____________________ (How the behavior affects you)
What I need...
 ____________________ (Action/behavior you need instead)

11
 Conflict Resolution
What is a Conflict?
 A conflict is a ___________________,
disagreement _______________
argument or ______________________.
misunderstanding

Three Conflict Styles:

 _____________________:
Avoidance tries to avoid the problem all together rather than face it.
 Changing the subject
 “Giving in” to avoid confrontation
 Avoiding the issue in hopes it will go away
 Communicating through the “grapevine”

 ____________________:
Confrontation is aggressive and sometimes hostile.
 “My way or the highway”
 Very confrontational and competitive
 Used to gain power and control
 “You” Messages
 Can damage relationships

 _____________________:
Problem Solving shows a willingness to compromise and solve the problem
positively.
 Uses collaboration to solve the problem
 Win-Win attitude
 Two-way communication
 “I” Messages

Positive Conflict Resolution Skills

 Try to stay ___________________
positive and calm
 Be aware of your __________________
emotional triggers
 Use active listening skills to ______________________
understand
 Focus on _____________________
cooperation instead of winning
 Ask ________________________
questions
 Use ________________________
appropriate body language / non-verbal communication
 Use ___________________________
“I” Messages
 Be _____________________
specific about what is bothering you

12