Unit 1
Read the following research findings, and what lessons for successful communication can you
learn from them?
Less than 10% of information is conveyed in spoken words?
It was Albert Mehrabian, a researcher of body language, who first broke down the components of a
face-to-face conversation. He found that communication is 55% nonverbal, 38% vocal, and 7% words
only.
Allan and Barbara Pease analyzed thousands of recorded sales negotiations from the 1970s and 1980s
and found that body language accounted for the majority of the impact made negotiating. They also
considered how the person with the strongest argument usually wins in negotiations over the phone but
not always in face-to-face conversations. Although the idea that 90% of communication is nonverbal can
be put to rest, a person’s body language and our first impression of them can heavily influence our
decision-making.
Birds of the same feather, flock together
Early in the 1990s, researchers at the University of Parma in Italy were doing work with macaque
monkeys. Quite by accident, when one of the researchers reached to grab his food, he noticed that the
neurons in a nearby research monkey became active as if it were reaching for the food, even though in
reality it was sitting idly by. Startled by this finding, the researchers tested and found they could
repeatedly make the monkey’s brain think it was taking action just by watching the researchers. This
became the foundation for what are now called “mirror neurons.”
In 1987, researchers suggested that spouses’ faces generally started looking more similar as time went
on. And anecdotally, you might think this is true. But a 2020 study found that couples’ faces do not
actually become more similar over time… although their faces DO tend to be similar. In a nutshell, this is
the Similarity/Attraction Theory in action, which states that 2 people who are similar to each other will
like each other more than 2 people who are different.
In 2010, Kuhn et al. found that when someone mirrors your behavior, the areas of your brain that
activate are the same ones that process rewards and make you feel good. And not only that—urges to
mirror others are hardwired in the brain because cooperation leads to more food, better health, and
economic growth for communities.
YES SET
Some hypnotherapists, for example, used advanced forms of communication in order to help their
clients effect change in the consulting room. One example of this form of communication is ‘chaining’
suggestions. A specific example might be as follows:
‘As you begin to breathe more slowly, you will start to notice your body relaxing.’
The ‘Yes Set’ (Erickson & Rossi, 1979) is one of the most commonly used response sets, and the best way
to set this up is for the therapist to provide the patient with a number of truisms, each one requiring the
non-verbal answer, ‘Yes’ . As you offer each statement, the idea is that the patient silently agrees to
each one. Importantly, it is helpful to move from the general to the more specific. Here is an example of
a ‘yes set’ which can be used in the treatment of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS).
1…The body has a unique way of restoring itself after injury or illness. [Response: Yes].
2…A graze or cut will heal itself at night while we are asleep. [Response: Yes].
3…And the less we worry about a problem, the quicker we will get better. [Response: Yes].
4…And, we all know that the more we relax, the better we feel. [Response: Yes].
5…Which is why a positive suggestion has such a benefit on our bodies. [Response: Yes].
6…And this can reduce any unwanted abdominal pain. [Response: Yes].
7…Which, in turn, will help gastrointestinal transit. [Response: Yes].
8…And this will help us to enjoy life to its full. [Response: Yes].
“Yes-set” technique is solidly grounded in psychology. It uses principles like "commitment and
consistency" and "reciprocity." The first principle taps into the human habit of acting consistently with
past choices. The second is all about returning a favor when one is received. So, when someone keeps
saying "yes" to you, it's easier for them to keep that rhythm going. Your big ask becomes a natural next
move.
Sales person’s “yes-set” rundown can look like this:
● The Easy Opening: Start with questions everyone can agree with. Like, "The weather was nice
today, wasn't it?"
● The Warm-Up: Move toward questions more related to your ultimate goal but still easy to agree
with. For example, "Trust is important in relationships, right?"
● The Main Event: Now, the stage is set. Make your big ask, "How about joining a weekend
workshop on building trust?"
Personal space in different cultures