1.
Classical conditioning
a. Definition: Classical conditioning involves learning through association. It occurs when a neutral stimulus becomes
associated with a significant stimulus, leading to a conditioned response.
b. Classical conditioning in the context of gaslighting:
Gaslighting, when analyzed through the lens of classical conditioning, can be understood as a process
where a victim learns to associate specific stimuli (situations, conversations, or the presence of the gaslighter)
with certain emotional responses (fear, self-doubt, or confusion).
How Classical Conditioning Works in Gaslighting:
Classical conditioning involves pairing a neutral stimulus (NS) with an unconditioned stimulus (UCS) that
naturally triggers an emotional response (unconditioned response, UCR). Over time, the neutral stimulus
becomes a conditioned stimulus (CS) that triggers the same response, now called a conditioned response
(CR).
In the case of gaslighting, a gaslighter deliberately manipulates situations to condition in which the victim feels
anxious, doubtful, or dependent:
1. Unconditioned Stimulus (UCS): The gaslighter's hurtful or manipulative behavior (e.g., dismissing the
victim’s perspective, accusing them of being forgetful, or questioning their mental state).
2. Unconditioned Response (UCR): The victim feels confusion, self-doubt, or anxiety as a natural
response to the gaslighter's behavior.
3. Neutral Stimulus (NS): A topic, situation, or even the gaslighter themselves (before the conditioning
process starts).
○ Example: Initially, bringing up a disagreement or a memory is a neutral act for the victim.
4. Conditioning Process:
The gaslighter consistently pairs the neutral stimulus (e.g., the act of bringing up a disagreement) with the
unconditioned stimulus (manipulative or dismissive behavior). Over time, the neutral stimulus
becomes associated with the emotional response.
○ Example: Every time the victim tries to discuss a memory, the gaslighter invalidates them
(“You’re so forgetful” or “That never happened”), making the victim feel distressed or
question themselves.
5. Conditioned Stimulus (CS): The previously neutral stimulus (e.g., the topic of discussion, the act of
disagreeing, or the gaslighter’s presence) becomes a trigger for negative emotions.
6. Conditioned Response (CR): The victim begins to feel anxiety, confusion, or self-doubt automatically,
even when the gaslighter hasn’t directly invalidated them yet.
c. Examples of Gaslighting via Classical Conditioning
1. Associating Self-Doubt with Conversations
● Before conditioning:
○ Talking about past events feels normal and neutral to the victim.
● During conditioning:
○ Each time the victim mentions a past event, the gaslighter responds with manipulation,
such as:
■ "That never happened."
■ "You're imagining things."
■ "Why are you always so dramatic?"
○ The victim feels distressed and begins to doubt their memory.
● After conditioning:
○ The victim starts to feel anxious or self-doubting before even bringing up a past event
because they’ve learned to associate these conversations with negative feelings.
2. Emotional Dependence on the Gaslighter
● Before conditioning:
○ The gaslighter’s presence is neutral or even positive for the victim.
● During conditioning:
○ The gaslighter alternates between kindness (when the victim complies) and hostility
(when the victim resists).
○ The victim learns to associate compliance with temporary relief or approval and
resistance with distress.
● After conditioning:
○ The victim feels anxious when they consider challenging the gaslighter, and they may
begin seeking the gaslighter’s approval for reassurance, becoming emotionally
dependent.
d. Additional Phenomena: Extinction
Extinction happens when the conditioned stimulus (e.g., certain topics, situations, or the gaslighter’s
presence) is no longer paired with the unconditioned stimulus (manipulation or invalidation). Over time,
the conditioned response (anxiety, self-doubt) fades.
Example of Extinction:
● Leaving the gaslighting environment:
○ The victim talks about their feelings with a supportive friend or therapist. Unlike with the
gaslighter, they receive validation and understanding.
○ Over time, the victim stops associating discussing their feelings with anxiety or
invalidation.
However, lingering effects may remain (e.g., hesitancy to speak up or feelings of self-doubt).
Professional help can aid in reconditioning positive emotional responses and rebuilding confidence.
2. Operant conditioning
a. Definition:
Operant conditioning (instrumental learning): The process of changing behavior by providing a reinforcer
or a punishment after a response.
Reinforcement: Increases a behavior by providing a reward or removing something unpleasant.
●Positive reinforcement: Adding something pleasant to encourage behavior.
●Negative reinforcement: Removing something unpleasant to encourage behavior.
Punishment: Decreases a behavior by adding something unpleasant or removing something pleasant.
●Positive punishment: Adding something unpleasant to discourage behavior.
●Negative punishment: Taking away something pleasant to discourage behavior.
b. Operant conditioning in the context of gaslighting:
Gaslighting can also be analyzed through operant conditioning, which involves learning through rewards and
punishments to shape behavior. Gaslighters use operant conditioning to control their victims, creating patterns
of behavior where the victim becomes dependent, self-doubting, and compliant.
How Gaslighters use Operant Conditioning:
Gaslighters strategically use reinforcement and punishment to control their victim's actions, thoughts,
and feelings. Over time, the victim learns to behave in ways that align with the gaslighter’s goals, even at
the expense of their own well-being.
1. Positive Reinforcement
The gaslighter rewards the victim for complying with their distorted version of reality, making the
victim more likely to comply in the future.
● Example:
○ When the victim agrees with the gaslighter’s version of events (“Maybe I did forget
that”), the gaslighter acts affectionate or kind, saying things like, “See, you’re
finally understanding me.”
○ Effect: The victim begins to associate compliance with emotional warmth and
approval, which reinforces the behavior of agreeing with the gaslighter.
2. Negative Reinforcement
The gaslighter removes unpleasant consequences when the victim stops resisting or questioning
them.
● Example:
○ If the victim argues or asserts their perspective, the gaslighter criticizes them
harshly or gives them the silent treatment. But as soon as the victim stops
resisting and says, “Maybe you’re right,” the gaslighter stops the criticism.
○ Effect: The victim learns that compliance or silence leads to relief from conflict,
reinforcing the behavior of avoiding confrontation.
3. Positive Punishment
The gaslighter actively punishes the victim for challenging or resisting their manipulation.
● Example:
○ When the victim says, “No, I’m sure I didn’t say that,” the gaslighter responds with
anger, belittlement, or emotional outbursts, such as, “You’re always so dramatic!”
or “Why can’t you ever trust me?”
○ Effect: The victim begins to avoid asserting themselves to avoid the punishment
of verbal attacks or emotional abuse.
4. Negative Punishment
The gaslighter withholds affection, support, or attention when the victim resists their manipulation.
● Example:
○ If the victim insists on their version of events or refuses to accept the gaslighter’s
narrative, the gaslighter withdraws affection (e.g., refuses to talk, shows
indifference, or stops doing things they normally would).
○ Effect: The victim feels emotionally abandoned and learns that challenging the
gaslighter leads to the loss of emotional security, discouraging future resistance.
Operant Conditioning Shapes the Victim’s Behavior
1. Compliance Over Time
○ Through a combination of reinforcement and punishment, the victim learns to comply with
the gaslighter’s demands, even if it means doubting their own reality.
○ Example: The victim starts saying things like, “Maybe I am imagining things,” or stops
bringing up disagreements entirely to avoid conflict or gain approval.
2. Self-Doubt
○ The gaslighter’s punishments for questioning them condition the victim to doubt their own
judgment.
○ Example: The victim might think, “It’s easier to just believe them than to argue. Maybe I’m
wrong anyway.”
3. Fear of Conflict
○ The gaslighter’s punishments for resistance condition the victim to fear conflict, leading
them to avoid standing up for themselves.
○ Example: The victim avoids discussing certain topics or expressing their feelings because
they anticipate an argument or punishment.
4. Emotional Dependence
○ The gaslighter’s rewards (e.g., affection, kindness) for compliance condition the victim to
rely on them for emotional stability.
○ Example: The victim begins seeking the gaslighter’s approval to feel validated, even in
situations where the gaslighter is clearly in the wrong.
c. Additional Phenomena
1. Extinction
Definition: Extinction occurs when a behavior decreases or stops because it no longer produces
reinforcement.
In Gaslighting:
● If the victim realizes the gaslighter’s manipulative tactics and stops seeking their
approval or reacting as expected, the gaslighter’s ability to control them diminishes.
● Over time, behaviors conditioned by the gaslighter (e.g., agreeing to avoid conflict or
doubting one’s own memory) may decrease when those behaviors no longer result in
rewards or punishments.
Example:
● The gaslighter previously rewarded the victim’s compliance by being affectionate.
● If the victim stops caring about the gaslighter’s approval (e.g., they gain confidence or
leave the relationship), the conditioned behaviors (compliance or seeking validation) may
gradually disappear because they’re no longer reinforced.
● Result: The victim begins to assert themselves or rely on their own judgment without fear.
2. Stimulus Generalization
Definition: The tendency to respond to a new stimulus in a way similar to how one responds to a
previously reinforced stimulus.
In Gaslighting:
● Victims may generalize the fear, doubt, or compliance they learned in the gaslighting
relationship to other, unrelated situations or people.
● This happens because the emotional responses conditioned by the gaslighter extend to
similar stimuli.
Example:
● A gaslighter invalidates the victim’s feelings whenever they express emotions, saying,
“You’re too sensitive.”
● Generalization: The victim might start suppressing their feelings around anyone in
positions of power or in emotionally charged situations, fearing invalidation even when it’s
unwarranted.
Impact:
● The victim avoids speaking up or expressing emotions with others, even after leaving the
gaslighting relationship, due to the generalized fear of being dismissed or criticized.
3. Discrimination
Definition: The ability to respond differently to distinct stimuli based on reinforcement history.
In Gaslighting:
● Gaslighters often use discrimination to condition the victim to respond only in specific
ways, depending on the situation or the gaslighter’s behavior.
● Victims may learn to behave differently depending on whether they perceive it as a "safe"
or "unsafe" moment with the gaslighter.
Example:
● The gaslighter might punish the victim for disagreeing in public (e.g., through subtle put-
downs) but reward them for compliance in private (e.g., by being affectionate).
● Discrimination: The victim learns to remain silent or agree with the gaslighter in public to
avoid punishment but may still express themselves more freely in private.
Impact:
● The victim adapts their behavior to match the gaslighter’s cues, further deepening the
gaslighter’s control.
4. Discriminative Stimulus
Definition: A discriminative stimulus signals whether a particular response is likely to be
reinforced or punished.
In Gaslighting:
● Gaslighters use subtle cues or behaviors as discriminative stimuli to signal whether the
victim’s actions will lead to reinforcement or punishment.
● Victims learn to pay close attention to these cues, shaping their behavior to avoid
punishment or gain approval.
Example:
● The gaslighter’s tone of voice or facial expressions might serve as a discriminative
stimulus.
○ If the gaslighter raises their voice or looks displeased, the victim knows that
disagreeing will lead to punishment (e.g., yelling or silent treatment).
○ If the gaslighter smiles or acts calm, the victim might feel it’s safe to comply and
receive approval.
Impact:
● The victim becomes hyper-aware of the gaslighter’s moods and adjusts their behavior to
avoid punishment, which increases emotional dependence and anxiety.
d. Schedule of Reinforcement in Gaslighting
Schedule of
How it’s used in Gaslighting Impact on the Victim
Reinforcement
Rewards compliance every time
Continuous Quickly conditions the victim to
(e.g., excessive affection early
Reinforcement seek approval and comply.
on).
Rewards compliance Keeps the victim emotionally
Partial
inconsistently, creating dependent and constantly seeking
Reinforcement
unpredictability. approval.
Conditions the victim to comply
Rewards compliance after a set
Fixed Ratio repeatedly, even without
number of responses.
immediate rewards.
Rewards compliance randomly Creates strong dependency, as the
Variable Ratio after an unpredictable number victim keeps trying harder, hoping
of responses. for a reward.
Rewards come at regular time Encourages the victim to tolerate
Fixed Interval intervals, regardless of the abuse, knowing kindness or
victim’s behavior. apologies will eventually come.
Keeps the victim on edge and
Rewards come at unpredictable
striving for approval, as they never
Variable Interval time intervals, regardless of the
know when kindness or validation
victim’s behavior.
will occur.
Gaslighters often use partial and variable reinforcement schedules to keep victims emotionally
dependent and confused. The unpredictability of rewards or punishments makes it harder for victims to
break free because they keep holding onto the hope that the gaslighter will change or reward them
eventually.
Social learning theory
Social-learning approach is learning many behaviors by observing the behavior of [Link]
exploits these processes to manipulate victims into doubting their reality.
Social learning is a type of operant conditioning, with similar underlying mechanisms:
• Modeling and imitation
• Vicarious reinforcement and punishment
• Self-efficacy
• Self-reinforcement and self-punishment
1. Modeling and Imitation
Definition: People learn by observing and imitating the behavior of others, especially those they
perceive as powerful, knowledgeable, or influential.
In Gaslighting:
● For the Gaslighter:
○ Gaslighters may learn manipulative behaviors by observing and imitating role models
(e.g., parents, partners, or authority figures) who used gaslighting as a control tactic.
○ Example: A child who witnesses one parent constantly invalidating the other’s emotions or
twisting facts may model that behavior in their future relationships.
● For the Victim:
○ Victims may unintentionally imitate the gaslighter's behaviors to avoid punishment or gain
approval.
○ Example: A victim may start invalidating their own feelings (e.g., “Maybe I’m just
overreacting”) because they’ve seen the gaslighter do it repeatedly.
Impact:
● The gaslighter reinforces their manipulative habits, and the victim internalizes the gaslighter’s
distorted perspective, leading to self-doubt and compliance.
2. Vicarious Reinforcement and Punishment
Definition: Learning occurs by observing the consequences of others' behaviors, not just one’s own.
In Gaslighting:
● For the Victim:
○ The victim observes how their own or others’ actions are rewarded or punished by the
gaslighter.
○ Example: If the victim sees the gaslighter punish someone else for speaking up (e.g.,
criticism or exclusion), they learn to avoid challenging the gaslighter themselves.
Conversely, when compliance is rewarded (e.g., affection or praise), the victim learns that
submission is safer.
● For the Gaslighter:
○ The gaslighter observes that gaslighting works in controlling others, reinforcing their
behavior.
○ Example: A gaslighter may have learned that invalidating someone’s feelings leads to
compliance because they’ve seen it work in other situations (e.g., with coworkers or family
members).
Impact:
● The gaslighter becomes more confident in their tactics, while the victim becomes increasingly
submissive and avoids behaviors that might provoke punishment.
3. Self-Efficacy
Definition: The belief in one’s ability to achieve goals or influence events.
In Gaslighting:
● For the Victim:
○ Gaslighting undermines the victim’s self-efficacy by making them doubt their abilities,
perceptions, and decisions.
○ Example: A gaslighter might say, “You can’t handle this on your own; you always mess
things up,” causing the victim to feel incapable and dependent.
● For the Gaslighter:
○ The gaslighter’s self-efficacy is often inflated, as they believe they have the power to
control others and manipulate reality.
○ Example: A gaslighter might think, “I can always make them see things my way,”
reinforcing their sense of control.
Impact:
● The victim becomes more dependent on the gaslighter for validation and decision-making, while
the gaslighter’s confidence in their manipulative abilities grows.
4. Self-Reinforcement and Self-Punishment
Definition: Individuals reward or punish themselves based on how well they meet their internal
standards or expectations.
In Gaslighting:
● For the Victim:
○ The victim starts to internalize the gaslighter’s criticism, engaging in self-punishment
when they feel they’ve failed to meet the gaslighter’s expectations.
○ Example: If the gaslighter says, “You’re so forgetful,” the victim might begin to chastise
themselves whenever they make a mistake, even if the gaslighter isn’t present.
○ The victim may also deny themselves rewards (e.g., taking a break or feeling proud)
because they feel unworthy.
● For the Gaslighter:
○ Gaslighters may use self-reinforcement to justify their actions, rewarding themselves for
maintaining control.
○ Example: A gaslighter might feel a sense of pride or accomplishment after successfully
making the victim doubt their memory or perception.
Impact:
● The victim’s self-esteem deteriorates as they engage in self-punishment and lose confidence in
their abilities, while the gaslighter strengthens their manipulative behaviors through self-
reinforcement.