Summary

Introduction

Chapter 1: The Basics

The Basics

Continuation: The Basics

Chapter 2: Then and Now

The View

Chapter 3: Understanding the Differences

The Differences

Continuation: The Differences

Continuation: The Differences

Continuation: The Differences

Continuation: The Differences

We Must Be Different!

Where the Power Struggle Begins and How to End It

Continuation: Where the Power Struggle Begins an&

Chapter 4: Watch Your Language

Copyright Notice
Introduction

It has been theorized countless times that men

and women are diametrically opposite beings.
The theory suggests that completely different
things drive these two genders, and they seek
different things in life. This is why men and
women behave and act in drastically different
ways.

While it9s true that nature itself has ordained us

to be different4meaning our behaviors are
characteristic of the gender we belong to4it9s
also a sobering fact that this can create many
problems.

There are numerous cases where men and

women fail to understand each other, leading
to disagreements, arguments, and even drastic
measures like breakups and divorces.

Now, I want to tell you this: Yes, you are capable

of winning back the love of your life! No matter
how stubborn the opposition, no matter how
far that person may be from you, no matter
how desperate your situation may seem!

In this eBook, I will teach you the tried, tested,

and true techniques that you can learn and
apply immediately to improve your romantic
relationship and even save your marriage!.
Chapter 1: The Basics
There are some well-considered and deplorable
statistics about relationships that didn9t work
out, even though it9s true that with just a little
more effort and understanding, these
relationships could have survived surprisingly
well.

The intention of this eBook is to show what

repairs could have been possible in
deteriorating relationships and reveal that, with
more thoughtful effort, many of our
relationships could be steered in the right
direction.

This eBook shows that men and women are

fundamentally different, and we need to
understand and accept these differences. We
need to recognize that there are different things
we seek in life and, even in a relationship, there
are different things that men and women look
for in each other.

If this fundamental law of nature is kept in

mind, both sexes can live in better harmony
with each other. By acknowledging our
differences, we would be in a better position to
become a unified whole.
The Basics
It takes time and effort, but most importantly, it
requires a lot of maturity and understanding. If
we accept these differences in our partners, we
can have more meaningful relationships.

With this eBook, we9re not trying to tell you to

change what nature has made you4that9s not
going to happen4but it9s necessary to realize
that your partner is a different person. They
don9t have to like the same things you do or say
the same things you say.

At the same time, most of the things we label as

selfish or neglectful in our partners are actually
quite different from what they seem. These
things are often just fundamental traits of who
they are. They are wired to behave in that
specific way. If a man forgets his wife9s birthday,
it9s not because he doesn9t care4it9s because
nature has programmed him to focus on one
task at a time.

Perhaps he was too busy with something else,

his mind was biologically diverted to that task
completely, and it slipped his mind. Or, when a
woman spends a lot of time on her appearance,
the man shouldn9t think she9s being vain.
Nature has designed women to enjoy taking
care of their looks.
Continuation: The
Basics
Instead of turning the world into a war zone
filled with animosity between the sexes, it9s
important to understand the diametric
differences between the two and live in
harmony. We are designed to be different. It9s
time to accept that and live in harmony.

In this eBook, you9ll see the different ways men

and women are designed to be different. You9ll
read about how to identify these differences in
your partner and what you should do to ensure
there9s no room for discord.

We suggest keeping a relationship journal, one

that you create and update in discussion with
your partner. You9ll be able to express your
feelings in this journal and also understand how
your partner feels. You9ll find that just the
process of maintaining this journal will greatly
help improve your relationship.
Chapter 2: Then and
Now
Very few people can be completely happy with
their lives today. Most lives today are clouded
by annoyances like distrust between partners,
disagreements over small issues, suspicions,
resentment, and even anger.

Relationships are constantly souring around us,

and most of the time, we feel like nothing can
be done about it. We resign ourselves by saying,
<It is what it is.=

Life was completely different in the good old

days, at least on the surface. We weren9t as
technologically advanced back then, and
perhaps we placed more importance on our
human relationships than we do today. Men
needed women, and women needed men more
than they do today4that9s a fact
The View
The state of our relationships today is
deplorable. One in two couples ends in
separation or divorce. Levels of animosity are
definitely rising, and that9s certainly not a good
thing.

Why is this happening? What are we missing?

Despite making a stubborn commitment at the
start of our relationship, at its peak, what
happens that makes the relationship so
drastically irreparable?

Certainly, the problem lies in one or both

partners. There are some very basic things
we9re completely missing. We9re not spending
time realizing that men and women are entirely
different types of beings, and the only way to
live successfully in harmony is by understanding
each other completely.

If you think that9s too hard to achieve, think

again. You need to see that the situation isn9t as
bleak as it seems. There9s just one link in this
chain, one single thread, that we9re missing. If
we can just see this missing link and accept it,
we9ll be able to do much better with our lives.

And yes, in this chapter, we begin creating the

relationship journal that will help save your
relationship. This is your reference point and
your guide4the place where you identify where
your relationship is struggling and start to root
it back together.
Chapter 3:
Understanding the
Differences
Men and women understand emotion,
communication, sexuality, fidelity, work, and
income based on how they9ve been socialized
and influenced by the experiences of their own
parents.

They bring these ideas into marriage and,

therefore, have their own baggage of notions
about what9s acceptable and intolerable in a
union, what they have to offer their spouse, and
what they expect in return.

There9s a constant power struggle between the

two genders in this world. This isn9t unlike a
competition, where each gender wants to prove
they9re better than the other.

This is definitely a very sad state of affairs. If,

instead of all this discord, the two genders lived
together in harmony, the world would become
a much more harmonious place.
The Differences
You can see that men and women choose
partners in different ways Women approach
love like informed consumers4they kick the
tires, look under the hood, start the engine, and
check the mileage. Women enjoy love, but they
have a practical mindset that doesn9t ignore
potential flaws. Beauty and romantic love
appeal to women, but when considering
potential suitors, a woman also looks at
practical aspects like a suitor9s financial
prospects, emotional stability, reliability, and
what kind of father he might be.

Despite their reputation for practicality, men

often disappear into hopeless romanticism.
They are far more likely to fall head over heels
in love and idealize the object of their affection.
If the body is great and the exterior is beautiful,
a man often buys into the scene without
question. It takes practice to learn that gender
differences don9t pose a threat to marriage4
they9re a reason for celebration and an
opportunity to expand one9s life experience.

Remember, your spouse is not your mirror. In a

loving and healthy partnership, individualism
and separation are healthy concepts that each
spouse should work on.
Continuation: The
Differences
Don9t worry4it9s unlikely that one piece of
advice will work for a marriage forever, as it9s
crucial to pay attention to the small things if the
marriage is to thrive. Most of the real work in
relationships happens in quieter moments and
smaller spaces. For example:

· Delaying opening the noisy garage door

while your husband is rushing to meet a
deadline and needs to focus on his project
for a few hours.
· Keeping the kids occupied and out of the
kitchen while your wife prepares dinner.
· Offering to pick up your husband9s shirts
from the laundry because he forgot to do it
yesterday.
· Filling up the car9s gas tank if you know
your husband needs to drive out of town for
a client visit.
· Taking your wife dancing, even if you have
two left feet and have always despised it,
because she9s always loved dancing.

A thorn in the side of marriage is income.

Married couples likely have their own ways of
spending and saving income. If the husband
and wife earn equal salaries, agree on how to
split household expenses before getting
married so no one feels financially betrayed or
deprived.
Continuation: The
Differences
While it was fair to expect him to pay for dinner
and the movie while you were dating, marriage
demands a true financial partnership. Or, if you
understand that your husband is particularly
averse to unnecessary shopping, try to cut back
on your shopping trips and focus on needs
rather than impulses.

Don9t forget to talk about your investment

preferences and try to maintain a budget and
savings plan.

Work to keep your partner excited. If there9s

one thing that annoys, it9s a wife who
perpetually discusses what9s on sale and a
husband who knows every zip code but doesn9t
know which teams made the playoffs this year.

Reflect back on the dating days when the two of

you could talk late into the night because you
were intrigued by what each of you
accomplished at the office that day, or about
that book or movie, etc.

Enrich each other with your lives and vicarious

experiences. Tell each other about your
pursuits in life and what they have to offer, and
make every effort not to be a boring spouse by
reading more, trying more, and living more.
Continuation: The
Differences
Many people claim that children harm the
union. Who has time for passion and love when
the kids are screaming at the top of their lungs
or running a fever of 105 degrees? Or when
income needs to be slashed to pay for braces?

Raising children can turn us into impatient,

stressed-out organisms, so if hiring a babysitter
for the night won9t break the monthly budget,
do it and disappear4just the two of you.

But don9t use this time away from the kids to

talk about each other9s habits or bring up past
incidents! Instead of seeing the marriage as
blessed with high points or riddled with
crushing lows, think of it as a series of
milestones.

Milestones should be seen as opportunities to

turn the alliance into a firmer and more
rewarding one. These milestones become
logical in midlife, where couples develop a
greater sense of time limits and an urgency to
get the most out of their union and their lives.

The midlife years are an innate time for

reflection: now couples have the benefit of
being able to see where they9ve been, where
they are, and where they want to go.

Give credit where it9s due, be generous with

respect, and be sincere in your praise.
Occasionally, you find yourself wishing your
partner would praise you?
Continuation: The
Differences
Many couples find that when they settle into
their union, thoughtful consideration or gentle
compliments aren9t as frequent as when they
were dating. Giving credit where it9s due and
being sincere in your praise goes a long way in
reinforcing the health of the marriage.

If you find that your wife works religiously on

the treadmill to avoid weight gain, have you
considered that she9s probably doing it to
please you? Saying something like, <You9re so
disciplined in your efforts to reach your goals4
I9m proud of you,= will add to her self-
confidence and reinforce her position that she9s
doing something right and that you value it.

If your husband is great at crunching numbers,

praise him for his achievements in quick
calculations. <You9re amazing with numbers= will
give him a sense of pride, and he9ll feel
significant to you.

Undoubtedly, many authorities and marriage

counselors will have differing opinions on how
to save a marriage, but they all agree on the
following fundamental components of a solid
marriage4it9s just the words and the way
they9re conveyed that differ.
We Must Be Different!

Men and women have been compared to

residents of two different planets in a popular
series of books currently on the market. The
author9s hypothesis is that, despite popular and
modern thought, men and women are truly
different.

In fact, they have a predisposition to think and

act in different ways depending on whether
we9re men or women.

This is because men and women are truly made

differently! Some of the arguments that occur
within a relationship are the result of neither
member of the couple understanding this fact.
Without getting too technical, the practical
results of these differences mean that men and
women respond differently to the same
situation.

This doesn9t happen because either member is

indifferent, forgetful, or somehow unresponsive
to their partner9s needs4it simply means that,
in many cases, they9re incapable of being
different because this is a gender-specific
situation, not a personal problem.
Where the Power Struggle Begins and
How to End It

It9s important to understand that a man will

always want to solve a problem rather than talk
about it, and a woman will always want to
discuss it to resolve it.

Women often complain that men don9t want to

listen to them talk about their problems, while
their silent partners want women to stop talking
about the problem so they can solve it.

The male brain is wired to focus on one task at

a time and do it well. The male brain9s nervous
system is <wired= so that he can see a problem,
figure out how to fix it, and then fix it.

His brain gives him the ability to think

analytically, work well with numbers, and
generally complete complex tasks. Women, on
the other hand, have a brain <wired= to
multitask well. Women tend to be able to do
laundry, cook dinner, and take care of the kids
all at the same time.
Continuation: Where the Power Struggle
Begins and How to End It

When a woman asks her husband to do

something while his mind is preoccupied and
his focus is elsewhere at the time, he9s likely to
forget her request4but this is completely
involuntary on his part.

He truly forgot, not because he doesn9t love her

enough to fulfill the request, but because his
focus was on doing something else at the time
she made the request.

Understanding that there are important

physiological (and hormonal) differences that
guide the behavior of men and women is a
crucial step in realizing that our partners9 failure
to meet our expectations is often unintentional.
Once we can accept this, we can view our
partners9 actions from a different perspective.

For Your Journals

Discuss a recent misunderstanding you and

your partner had with each other. Write about
the differences between men and women and
consider how your partner9s actions in that
situation, which bothered you, might have been
typical of gender differences rather than
something personal they9re <doing wrong.=
Chapter 4: Watch Your Language

Things You Shouldn9t Say If You Really Want

to Change Your Spouse9s Mind

Watch What You Say

If you want to change your spouse9s or partner9s
mind about something, you don9t need to say,
<But I love you...= I can tell you, stating this and
emphasizing how much you love them won9t
make them change their mind.

When you say, <But I love you...,= you9re actually

telling your spouse that you want them to do
something your way! It9s not their way.

Remember, <Humans tend to love themselves

on a higher level than anything else!= When you
declare, <I love you...,= you9re actually loving
yourself more. You want your spouse to do
things that satisfy your ego, so you want your
spouse to do things your way. And your spouse
recognizes this! They won9t change their mind
simply because you tell them, <I love you...=
Copyright Notice

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