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Office Tricks for Appearing Busy

The document provides humorous tips on how to appear busy at work without actually being productive. Suggestions include carrying documents, using computers for non-work activities, maintaining a messy desk, and managing phone calls through voicemail. It emphasizes creating an impression of hard work to avoid scrutiny from management.

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0% found this document useful (0 votes)
12 views2 pages

Office Tricks for Appearing Busy

The document provides humorous tips on how to appear busy at work without actually being productive. Suggestions include carrying documents, using computers for non-work activities, maintaining a messy desk, and managing phone calls through voicemail. It emphasizes creating an impression of hard work to avoid scrutiny from management.

Uploaded by

trevareva
Copyright
© All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

1.

Never walk without a document in your hands


People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for
important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for
the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the
toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus
generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
2. Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can
send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing
anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the
proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad
either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best
defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving
valuable training expenses.
3. Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like
we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your
workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's
volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to
your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and
rummage for it when he/she arrives.
4. Voice Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because
they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do
work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If
somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work,
respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're
hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed
Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that
you are always busy.
6. Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read
magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until
late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send
important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public
holidays.
7. Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are
under extreme pressure.
8. Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor
etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
9. Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new
products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember:
They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.
10. Have 2 Jackets
If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the
back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The
second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere
11. MOST IMPORTANT:
DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake

Common questions

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Carrying documents creates a visual impression of productivity and importance, as it suggests an employee is en route to a significant meeting or task. This behavior can lead to a perception of diligence and dedication from colleagues and superiors. The potential advantage is that it can contribute to a reputation for being hardworking and committed, which may lead to positive career evaluations or advancement opportunities .

Strategic use of voice mail allows an employee to appear selectively unavailable, suggesting they are busy and have little free time, thus implying a strong work ethic. By responding during times the caller is unlikely to pick up, such as lunch hours, the employee portrays conscientiousness and diligence despite not engaging directly. This manipulation of availability helps maintain control over workload and appearances .

'Creative sighing' serves as a non-verbal cue to convey stress and workload to colleagues and superiors without direct communication. While it might enhance the perception of an individual as being under pressure and therefore hardworking, it could negatively impact team morale by fostering a stressful atmosphere. Overuse without real underlying productivity could strain team dynamics and cause resentment if others perceive it as manipulative .

The societal issue implied is the misalignment between technological advancements and their intended productive use. Computers, meant to increase efficiency and output, can ironically become tools for employees to feign busyness while being unproductive. This behavior undermines genuine work ethic and productivity, potentially reducing overall organizational efficiency and causing a disconnect between perceived and actual employee contributions .

Avoiding forwarding the advice to a boss is crucial as it indicates the advice may not align with formal work ethics or practices, suggesting a level of subterfuge intended for peer-to-peer communication rather than managerial oversight. This reflects an understanding of informal workplace cultures where employees navigate perceptions and productivity independently, often using unorthodox methods to manage impressions .

Having two jackets in an open-office setting suggests constant presence, even when the employee is not physically at their desk. This strategy communicates an impression of being present and engaged with work activities, thus maintaining a visible commitment. However, while this tactic can sustain an illusion of reliability, it's a superficial solution that doesn't substitute for actual productivity .

A messy desk gives the appearance of being overwhelmed with work, potentially indicating high productivity and engagement with numerous tasks. However, the downside is that it can lead to disorganization, making it harder to locate important documents and handle tasks efficiently. Moreover, it could also negatively impact a person's reputation if perceived as disorganized or untidy in contrast to a controlled image .

Sending emails during unconventional hours, such as late at night or early mornings, conveys an image of dedication and a non-stop work ethic, suggesting that the employee is committed beyond regular work hours. While this might positively influence a boss’s perception of diligence, it risks setting unrealistic expectations about work availability and can blur personal and professional life boundaries, potentially leading to employee burnout .

Expanding vocabulary with technical jargon can enhance an employee's image of being informed and knowledgeable, potentially increasing their credibility and influence in professional interactions. However, if used excessively or without true understanding, it may alienate colleagues and hinder clear communication, diminishing trust and effectiveness in collaboration .

Leaving the office late enhances perceived commitment by suggesting a willingness to work beyond required hours, indicating dedication to one’s role. While this can positively influence a boss's perception, it risks establishing excessive work expectations and does not necessarily correlate with increased productivity. Over time, this could lead to stress, dissatisfaction, or a negative impact on work-life balance if not managed properly .

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