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Self-Compassion for Mental Fitness

The document discusses the concept of self-compassion, highlighting the irony that individuals often extend compassion to others but struggle to do so for themselves. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and accepting one's own fallibilities and inadequacies, and encourages individuals to be their own source of compassion. The text outlines key elements of self-compassion, including awareness, acceptance, forgiveness, and taking deliberate actions towards personal well-being.

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sharikhanolkar09
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2 views2 pages

Self-Compassion for Mental Fitness

The document discusses the concept of self-compassion, highlighting the irony that individuals often extend compassion to others but struggle to do so for themselves. It emphasizes the importance of understanding and accepting one's own fallibilities and inadequacies, and encourages individuals to be their own source of compassion. The text outlines key elements of self-compassion, including awareness, acceptance, forgiveness, and taking deliberate actions towards personal well-being.

Uploaded by

sharikhanolkar09
Copyright
© All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd

Self-compassion and mental fitness: nurturing your inner self

I asked a client of mine in therapy the other day, ‘How do you judge your loved ones when they make
mistakes?’ Pat came the reply, ‘I don’t judge them for it, it’s only human to make mistakes. I accept them
with their mistakes.’ Would you believe it if I told you that this same client is in therapy working on his
problem of self-berating? In other words, the attitude that he holds towards himself is that, ‘I must not
make mistakes and if I do it proves that I am a worthless person.’ This is not the only time that I have
come across this irony with my clients. I find that quite a few clients are able and willing to extend
compassion towards their loved ones, humans and pets, but sadly not towards themselves. I wonder
why we are so averse to self-compassion! Why do we hold ourselves to unrealistically high standards
that serve as rigid conditions for self-acceptance? Why do we find it hard to drop the ‘need’ to prove our
worth and desperately hold onto a sense of high self-esteem?

Just like people are willing to be compassionate towards others more than themselves, I find that they
are also striving to receive that compassion from their loved ones. When they don’t get it, in the form of
validation, acceptance, assurance, appreciation, approval etc, they feel depressed, hurt, angry. I think we
are focusing on the wrong source for compassion in our lives. Here’s a question I’d like all of us to ponder
over – how can I be my own source of compassion towards myself? Quote from Buddha?

How do we understand the self -compassion? – understanding and accepting oneself with one’s
inadequacies , fallibilities and misfortunes as a complex, ever-changing human, living a complex life. It
would involve elements such a –

 awareness of oneself as a complex being who is a mixed bag – capable of good and bad, right
and wrong, success and failure etc
 acceptance of one’s innate fallibility – mistake-making tendency as a part of one’s whole self
instead of rejecting it as unwanted and using tit o devalue onself
 Forgiveness of one’s fallibilities, while still caring about correcting them to whatever extent
possible
 Acceptance of oneself as an unrateable being, who’s worth can’t be estimated in a stable and
global kind of way
 Drawing and implementing one’s boundaries firmly but kindly.
 Acknowledging one’s pain without dismissing or diminishing it and taking steps to alleviate or
cope with the pain
 Acknowledging and appreciating one’s efforts to change whatever they can about themselves
and their life circumstances, while accepting the limitations to change
 Taking deliberate actions towards one’s own well-being with kindness and gentleness

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