Ann: “where did you grow up?

”
Sheetal: “I was born in Kurukshetra, that is the name of the city. It is a holy land. According to
Hinduism, there was the biggest war that happened in human history. So, they call it a holy land
because good won over evil. I'm born in a Hindu family but the thing is my family they don't
follow like typical Hindu they’re Sikhism. So those people, according to Hinduism, they believe
in a particular kind of God. In Sikhism, they believe that there is this holy book so whatever that
says, they believe in that. So that was given to the Sikh people, the guy, the people who wear
turban that is their basic identity. That was given to them by their guru and after that he said let's
not get into this culture of getting gurus again and again. that this book is given to you that is like
your bible, so that is what my parents believe. This word s-i-k-h it means to learn so basically
you are learning continuously. Even when you are breathing even when you are just observing,
watching, [you are learning] with your five senses. That is how you should see the world rather
than observing and judging- Just cut off the judging part. That is the ideology and serve people
as much as you can- that is their ideology it shouldn't matter whether this person is disabled or
his he or she is from a different culture. if they are in trouble whether you are doing something
it's your responsibility as a human to help them first. so yeah because they say that the other
person is god himself. okay so when you are helping the other person basically you are serving
the god so this is what they believe in.”
Ann: “Is it like a branch of Hinduism?”
Sheetal: “yeah, you can say that. Hinduism is like the trunk of the tree, and all these religions are
the branches. I don’t believe in that, because I think that is your own experience, you should
believe in it too. If you believe in this branch, and your experiences matches with this branch go
ahead with it. So yeah they say that Hinduism is like mother of religion.”
Ann: “yeah I did learn about that in class”
Sheetal: “yeah everybody has their own biases, everybody wants their religion to be the master. I
don’t think they should do that. Who’s the master of religion? Who cares about the masters? If
you’re learning something, that should be the point.”
Sheetal: “the Sikh people used to say, when India wanted to keep the Mughal away from the
border, the Sikh people would serve them food after sunset. They believe it shouldn’t matter if
it’s a criminal, that is afterward, first you should serve them if they need help”
Ann: “do you think that’s why some people don’t like Sikhism?”
Sheetal: “that’s what some people think but I think Sikhism is the most love religion because
they don’t discriminate.”
Ann: “is your family super religious?”
Sheetal: “no, they’re not super religious but they believe in helping people. They don’t follow
typical rituals according to Hinduism. So there are days -Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…- each
day are given to a particular god and you have to do a particular ritual. On Monday people fast
the whole day, Tuesday is for the monkey god, Wednesday... I don’t even know, hahaha can you
tell I don’t follow the ritual. My mom and father, they believe in Sikhism, my sister believe in
Sikhism, and my brother believes in Hinduism. I don’t know where I stand. They don’t force it,
like you’re supposed to force it on your child because that’s something you believe in, but
they’re not particularly religious. In some sense, they’re religious, in some sense they’re not.”
Ann: “Do you go to temples?”
Sheetal: “I go to temple, Sikh people go to Sikh temple, we call it gurudwara. In Sikh temple,
there is this holy book. They place the holy book in the center. And then you worship that. So, I
go there.”
Ann: “so I know you’re not religious, but what is your stand on religion?”
Sheetal: “well, we don't know what is the starting point of this thing and we don't know what is
the ending point. what happens afterwards? people they will tell you, this is right, this is wrong,
this is religious, this is not religious. so for instance in Hinduism you can't eat meat they think
that it's cruel, that's animal cruelty but in other religion that is totally okay. so, what is the line?
you don't know that line. I think that uh religion is a word given by I-don't-know-who people to
create some divide so that people who are underneath will just keep on fighting. my religion is
good my religion is good and you don't know the reality. I think there’s this energy that flow
everywhere. I think that’s god. That’s religion, but that’s beyond your five senses. Religion I
think is a state of nothingness and you can’t experience it. There are no borders, no limitations,
you could be anything.
Ann: “what’s a religious memory that you have growing up, with your family?”
Sheetal: “oh, so before coming here we had this uh i don't know how to say that word, we call it
pooja. So basically, my father wanted to do something spiritual before I come here. So we
brought this holy Guru grant, the book. And they took it to each of the room. My father was
carrying that book over his head. Yeah. And all the family members, like blood family members,
were following him. he went to each and every corner of my house. Yeah. And then we placed it
somewhere where we usually eat. And then we prayed that was something that comes to my
mind Like, it's a way of uniting you and your relatives. And showing, I don't know, to me it
shows, like, he cares, and he wanted to make sure that I have, like, if there is this power that goes
with me, so that it can protect me. . So it's his way of saying that I care about you.
Ann: “So, would you call that a ritual?”
Sheetal: “So that ritual usually happens when there is a big event going on so before that event,
they do this ritual so that it goes in a nicer way and nothing bad happens, so that that holy power
is with you. They do this before any occasion like wedding or childbirth or if you got a job
something like that.
Ann: “what do you like about it?”
Sheetal: “when there are people who don't show their emotion but when you see that they are
together and their emotion flows. i've never seen my father crying but when that ritual happened,
he was crying and those were happy tears. i mean i was 26 at that point of time and i think i have
seen him cried once when my grandma died and that was the second time when I saw him
crying. These emotions are so strong, and he suppresses them but when this thing is there this
ritual, this religion, whatever this is it, it has that power that it can just take all those layers and it
can show you that this man is so vulnerable too.”
Ann: “What do you not like about it?”
Sheetal: “oh superstitious superstitious superstitiousness like you are not supposed to wash your
hair on tuesdays and thursdays even if it's greasy you're not supposed to cut your nails after
sunset why i don't know the logic behind it. you have to fast like there are particular families that
force pregnant ladies to fast they are pregnant they are pregnant they are not even supposed to
have water like they are like it's like no water no food fasting all day. so this superstitiousness, I
hate it. That you like try to know the reason behind it. And even if that is your heart says yes, go
with it. Like no one is judging you. And then you force that on someone else. Why? Because you
believe in it. So that is something that I hate about it. So for instance, my grandma sometimes
used to force my mom to do this fasting thing so there is this fasting where wife they supposed to
fight they are supposed to fast for their husband for their long lives like what about the wife yeah
what about her long life the husband is supposed to be fasting too so my grandma kind of forced
her to do that but after some some point of time, my mom realized it, that it's of no good. So she
stopped doing that. when you force someone because you have some kind of authority, you have
like just because you are old, you have seen more years of lives. Doesn't mean that you're right.
But people hold that power. I think that religion should give you freedom of speech rather than
forcing you to shut up. So, for instance, we celebrate a lot of festivals. And they say that if you
will not worship this God, you will go to hell. you are trying to scare this person rather than
saying that if you will do this, you will feel better. yeah i don't like that. that is not creating unity
that is creating fear.”
Ann: “like my mom, she's so worried, she's like I just don't want you to stray too far [from
religion] because then if something happens to you i don't know where your soul is gonna end
up. i was like oh my god what's going on right now. it's okay mom i'm okay.”
Ann: “so what impact do you think this religion has on you?”
Sheetal: “thank god it doesn't have an impact because that created lower level of self-confidence
in me. my self-esteem was nowhere. I was not able to talk to people. and now when i talk about
my thought process, I’m supposed to limit it. if it’s limitless, why force it to be limited. This
creates lower level of self-confidence. I used to look for validation. If you take religion in a
good way, it can make you blossom like a flower, but when people force you, you have to hide,
you cant show your real self.
Ann: “does it have any good impact on you, besides giving you lower self-esteem, do you think
it gave you a sense of spirituality. Even if it’s smaller than other, or different, do you think it’s
good?”
Sheetal: “so i did a meditation course back in summer of 2024, i don't know how to describe it
but there is something that i felt. in hinduism they say that your body has seven chakras, this is
third eye chakra and this is crown chakra. when this one goes like this then you are united with
the god. this is important too because you can sense some things before they happen. so i think
that thing, that meditation thing, it made my intuition somehow strong like i can feel when
something is off. they gave you a pamphlet that this is what you are supposed to be having so
that your body can detox and then you can your mind can focus properly on the meditation. so i
felt something, here, there was this purplish circle. it was expanding and then it was contracting.
and I cried I cried a lot. i was not happy i was not sad i had no emotions- I’m not saying i had no
emotions at that point of time but nothing big was happening. i cried like a baby, I shouted I
screamed. so I think that helped me a lot because I was not able to talk to people. The way I am
helping you right now, well techniquely you are helping yourself, but I think of this as a medium.
I would have said no, like I can’t do that. But i’m here, I’m busy but i’m here. So I think that
meditation helped me. That’s what I think religion should be like. It should make you more
confident in a way that you can help the other person, without hestitating about it. So I think that
is one of the greatest impact.
Ann: “I tried meditating, it’s so hard. I think it’s because I get distracted too easily”
Sheetal: “so one technique that they taught, from a seven day course, and it was expensive. They
said that you are supposed to have a guru who can teach you. I think that is powerful too but one
of the techniques that they taght me is to go to a garden. Observe ever minute detail that you can.
If you are observing a grass, just observe it, and after five minutes close your eyes. Then observe
your thoughts. So your mind is a continuous thought process. you can’t stop your thought
process but the thing is, you can observe those thoughts without reacting to it. You have to keep
your emotions here and your thoughts will go on. You can’t stop your thoughts. They will go on,
like your thoughts will only stop when you die because your mind is a conscious being. You
need to observe your thoughts the way you are observing this grass without judging it. For five
minutes, do that, observe anyting. If you’re sitting here, observe every possible thing, then close
your eyes then try to apply the same technique to your mind. If it’s a thought about a person that
you don’t like, don’t judge them. If they are good or bad, just observe it. What images are there,
what words are there, what emotions are there but don’t feel it. Don’t get deep into it that you
start to feel those emotions.”
After this, we continued to talk about the difference that meditation had on her. She also
recommended a Guru on youtube that has also helped her a lot. She talks about the way this
Guru teaches things in a very scientific way and it helps her to decides whether to reject or
accept somethingfrom your heart rather than somebody else telling you what to do. She
continued to talk about the person you are without any label and anything else attached to you.
She talks about confusion between mind and brain, your stream of consciousness right now. The
identity given to her at birth, like her name. Who she is after losing all of that identity. The rest
of the conversation we discussed the theory of God in everybody you interact with.