Writing S12 | Homework
(This homework has FIVE pages)
The following essays are band 9 (yes they are solid 9). Let’s analyze them through five
activities to gain more insights about Task 1
Activity 1: Read
Essay 1
The bar chart gives details of phone usage in the UK from 1995 to 2002 on three types of phone
line.
Overall, total phone use increased and the majority of calls were made using a fixed line.
However, towards the end of the period, local fixed line calls declined as mobile phone use
increased significantly.
During the first four years, all categories increased steadily, although usage was dominated by
local fixed line calls. The data for these calls was consistently almost double that of national and
international calls, with the former rising from over 70 billion to a peak of 90 billion minutes,
while the latter rose from approximately 37 billion to 48 billion. These figures contrast starkly
with the data for mobile phone calls in the same period, which began at approximately two
billion minutes and saw only gradual increases, climbing to ten billion minutes in 1998.
The picture was very different from 1999 to 2002, when, despite retaining the top position, local
fixed line calls dropped back to their initial level and ended the period only 10 billion higher
than
fixed line national and international calls, which increased consistently throughout. Notably, the
drop in local calls corresponded with dramatic increases in mobile phone use, which, by 2002,
had reached almost 45 billion minutes, considerably reducing the gap between all three
categories.
Essay 2
The table compares the cultivation rates of three species of fish in one region over a ten-year
period.
Overall, while Arctic char dominated initially, salmon was cultivated in far greater numbers
towards the end of the period, and rainbow trout has consistently been produced the least.
In 2008, 3124 million tones of Arctic char were produced in this region. As this figure was more
than ten times greater than the next highest, farmed salmon at 292 million tonnes, this species
clearly dominated at that time. However, Arctic char fell slightly in 2010 and rose only gradually
from 2012 onwards, while salmon rose exponentially in almost every two-year period. In fact, in
2014, salmon overtook Arctic char, and reached a striking 13448 million in 2018, considerably
more than any other species.
In contrast, rainbow trout was continually cultivated in relatively small amounts, beginning at
only six million tones in 2008. Although it did increase steadily, reaching a peak of 2138 million
tonnes in 2016, this level was short-lived, and by 2018 it had fallen to 295, which was almost
the same as salmon's starting point ten years earlier.
Activity 2: Task Response and Coherence focus analysis
Which information is selected for Overview, Body 1, and Body 2 in each essay? (Note briefly)
Essay 1
Overview
Body 1
Body 2
Essay 2
Overview
Body 1
Body 2
Activity 3: Lexical Resource focus analysis
Spot Topic vocabulary and Descriptive vocabulary in each essay
Essay 1
Topic vocabulary: Descriptive vocabulary
Minutes of telephone call (increase, decrease, stable, fluctuate,…)
Essay 2
Topic vocabulary: Descriptive vocabulary
Types of fish farmed (increase, decrease, stable, fluctuate,…)
Activity 4: Grammar focus analysis
Code sentence types for each essay as Red for simple, Green for compound and Purple for
Complex sentences
Essay 1:
The bar chart gives details of phone usage in the UK from 1995 to 2002 on three types of phone
line.
Overall, total phone use increased and the majority of calls were made using a fixed line.
However, towards the end of the period, local fixed line calls declined as mobile phone use
increased significantly.
During the first four years, all categories increased steadily, although usage was dominated by
local fixed line calls. The data for these calls was consistently almost double that of national and
international calls, with the former rising from over 70 billion to a peak of 90 billion minutes,
while the latter rose from approximately 37 billion to 48 billion. These figures contrast starkly
with the data for mobile phone calls in the same period, which began at approximately two
billion minutes and saw only gradual increases, climbing to ten billion minutes in 1998.
The picture was very different from 1999 to 2002, when, despite retaining the top position, local
fixed line calls dropped back to their initial level and ended the period only 10 billion higher
than
fixed line national and international calls, which increased consistently throughout. Notably, the
drop in local calls corresponded with dramatic increases in mobile phone use, which, by 2002,
had reached almost 45 billion minutes, considerably reducing the gap between all three
categories.
Essay 2:
The table compares the cultivation rates of three species of fish in one region over a ten-year
period.
Overall, while Arctic char dominated initially, salmon was cultivated in far greater numbers
towards the end of the period, and rainbow trout has consistently been produced the least.
In 2008, 3124 million tones of Arctic char were produced in this region. As this figure was more
than ten times greater than the next highest, farmed salmon at 292 million tonnes, this species
clearly dominated at that time. However, Arctic char fell slightly in 2010 and rose only gradually
from 2012 onwards, while salmon rose exponentially in almost every two-year period. In fact, in
2014, salmon overtook Arctic char, and reached a striking 13448 million in 2018, considerably
more than any other species.
In contrast, rainbow trout was continually cultivated in relatively small amounts, beginning at
only six million tones in 2008. Although it did increase steadily, reaching a peak of 2138 million
tonnes in 2016, this level was short-lived, and by 2018 it had fallen to 295, which was almost
the same as salmon's starting point ten years earlier.
Activity 5: Cohesion focus analysis
Bold Cohesive devices, in terms of Reference and Conjunction, in each essay
Essay 1:
The bar chart gives details of phone usage in the UK from 1995 to 2002 on three types of phone
line.
Overall, total phone use increased and the majority of calls were made using a fixed line.
However, towards the end of the period, local fixed line calls declined as mobile phone use
increased significantly.
During the first four years, all categories increased steadily, although usage was dominated by
local fixed line calls. The data for these calls was consistently almost double that of national and
international calls, with the former rising from over 70 billion to a peak of 90 billion minutes,
while the latter rose from approximately 37 billion to 48 billion. These figures contrast starkly
with the data for mobile phone calls in the same period, which began at approximately two
billion minutes and saw only gradual increases, climbing to ten billion minutes in 1998.
The picture was very different from 1999 to 2002, when, despite retaining the top position, local
fixed line calls dropped back to their initial level and ended the period only 10 billion higher
than
fixed line national and international calls, which increased consistently throughout. Notably, the
drop in local calls corresponded with dramatic increases in mobile phone use, which, by 2002,
had reached almost 45 billion minutes, considerably reducing the gap between all three
categories.
Essay 2:
The table compares the cultivation rates of three species of fish in one region over a ten-year
period.
Overall, while Arctic char dominated initially, salmon was cultivated in far greater numbers
towards the end of the period, and rainbow trout has consistently been produced the least.
In 2008, 3124 million tones of Arctic char were produced in this region. As this figure was more
than ten times greater than the next highest, farmed salmon at 292 million tonnes, this species
clearly dominated at that time. However, Arctic char fell slightly in 2010 and rose only gradually
from 2012 onwards, while salmon rose exponentially in almost every two-year period. In fact, in
2014, salmon overtook Arctic char, and reached a striking 13448 million in 2018, considerably
more than any other species.
In contrast, rainbow trout was continually cultivated in relatively small amounts, beginning at
only six million tones in 2008. Although it did increase steadily, reaching a peak of 2138 million
tonnes in 2016, this level was short-lived, and by 2018 it had fallen to 295, which was almost
the same as salmon's starting point ten years earlier.