New Beginnings and Self-Reflection
“Think about yourself
You always think about others first
At every corner of your mind and heart, there always runs a feeling for serving
others
A woman who is always considered to prioritise and think about others in this
society
She is like a moon who is split in between the stars, but you need to snatch all
the stars and grow big like a moon.
Think about yourself!!!”
It’s often said that Self-Reflection is important for one to understand what’s
happening, what’s going on, what is bothering them, why is there so much of
silence, why is there a sudden change in lifestyle; so many questions????
It was a bright pleasant morning when I woke up with full enthusiasm to start my
day, but to my utter disappointment I was been informed by the psychology
department of the hospital that my child has symptoms of ASD and is uncurable.
I was shattered and felt guilty upon myself that it was all my fault that my child
has this disease. Unaware of all the conditions and situations I was traumatised. I
couldn’t bear the pain of my kid not talking to me, not responding to the name
call and the saddest part of not even looking at me. I cursed myself, cried a lot,
sleepless nights, going through the comments. All this led to depression which
brought me a big downfall in my personal as well as professional life. I GIVE UP.
Yes, I give up. This was the reaction and thought which came to my mind
at that point of time. I was unable to bear the failure in my life as a professional
and most importantly a mother.
But as I mentioned, a woman is a mountain that shields her family. She is the
hardest rock to break it through.
Even I realised this in my life after few weeks of inner struggle. Sitting up in a
lost world, a ray of hope just popped up on my mobile stating “ASD is a condition
and not a disease”. I still remember that piece of video which had a journey of a
child struggling with ASD to clearing an entrance exam. That video was an ice
breaker for me.
The next morning was again a pleasant one to start a beautiful day and so I did. I
started to become an eye, a mouth, a hand, a soul, a reflection for my kid. I
started exploring all the available options, techniques, methods to overcome and
better the situation for my child who has been brought to the earth by me.
It was not an easy journey to start with, had only downfalls initially, looks like
one way communication with no response. But a mother can’t give up. With the
rigorous therapies, working with my child, lifting in all the lows and waiting for
the response. One fine day, I got a response; yes, I got a response Maaaa…
maaa… maaa… maaa… those 4 words after 3 years was worth waiting. But
every happiness comes with a cost. I was getting financially hit with all this. I was
in a dilemma to choose between a professional and a mother. But things turned
around when an organisation support helped a mother to overcome this. I was
allowed to work remotely along with flexible working hours. This worked a
miracle for me. I was able to manage my personal commitments along with the
professional one. This support was provided as an aid to me but also was an
unseen and untold barrier to my career. But nevertheless, I continued to enjoy
this. Very soon, this became a part of my life.
Even today, I am stuck at some place in my career but have grown in my
motherhood. My efforts will pay off some day when the few words will change
into beautiful endless talks.
Never give up, as every day comes with an endless opportunity. It is the
way how we look and grab it. My self-reflection brought a new beginning in my
life. How about u???
“"Your life is a reflection of your thoughts. If you change your thinking, you
change your life." - Brian Tracy