Chapter 35 Humbert Humbert Two

The service crew had just arrived, looking quite tired and overworked. It
will probably take them a while to get the elevator going again. Those that were
waiting there gradually lost their patience and started leaving one by one.

The coffee machine weighed about twelve kilos. That, plus the packaging, made quite
a heavy load - almost 30 pounds.

Although Fei Du hasn't been working out regularly, he was, after all, a fit and healthy
young man who had no problem climbing up the stairs with a load of 30ish pounds.
But the problem was - how to carry it.

Rectangular boxes were probably the most anti-human inventions ever existed. No
matter how you carry it, in the arms or on the back, you would end up in a very
awkward pose. Mr. Fei thought of many positions, none of which made past his own
censorship for elegance. Nevertheless, it was the fruit of his own doing, and he had to
swallow it no matter how many wrinkles on the shirt it would take. "The hell with
face and grace." He thought, flinging the box onto his speckless shoulder, "Thank God
there are only some grumbling old men and balding old dogs around."

At the moment that he was giving in to his luck and stepping up the first flight of
stairs, a voice from the back uttered, "Which floor are you going to? Need any help?"

Fei Du turned around and saw two belles, a tall one and a little one.

The tall belle looked in her early 20s and resembled some female celebrity. She was
holding the hand of a teenage girl a little over ten. The girl was wearing a princess
bun and a lovely floral dress, holding an ice-cream in her other hand. As she was
licking the ice-cream, the little girl stared at Fei Du with curiosity.

It only took Fei Du half a second to decide on tossing the box. Then he put on the
charm that could pass for a run-way model, and smiled: "Did I block the way? Sorry
about that."

"Oh no no, I wasn't coming this way. I was just seeing you with that big box and...it
looked quite heavy." The tall belle hesitated, and turned to the elevator, "It's
steaming hot today, and the elevator isn't working... Maybe you could wait for a little
while here - Perhaps it will be fixed shortly. "

The experienced playboy Mr. Fei was more than willing. Obviously lost the track of
time, he let the little girl sit on his box, and stood by the two and started a
conversation in the shabby-looking elevator room.

"It's been five minutes...anyone should've made it already." Tao Ran watched Luo
Wenzhou plating the mouth-watering curry chicken, and glanced at his watch, "How
come Fei Du's still not here?"

Luo Wenzhou calmly directed his underlings to plate the other dishes, and uncovered
the pot for the braised pork shank: "Donno. Maybe he planted himself downstairs and
started budding there."

As he spoke, he tasted the sauce with a soup spoon. It was good, but something
seemed to be missing. "Do you have rock sugar?"

"Nope." Tao Ran answered as he was changing his shoes, "I'll go down and check on
him. I can get some for you. What kind do you want?"

Luo Wenzhou frowned: "I don't think he needs picking up...You spoil him too much."

Tao Ran grinned agreeably. Then, to his surprise, Luo Wenzhou came over and
started changing shoes too.

"......" Tao Ran was clueless, "What are you doing?"

"I'm getting the rock sugar." said Luo Wenzhou, "You don't know the kind that I
need."

Tao Ran read his face and thought that strangely this sounded like a cover story.

Luo Wenzhou: "What?"

Tao Ran pondered, then spoke: "You two seem to be in truce lately. Are
you feeling friendlier towards him now?"

Luo Wenzhou paused. Then he waved one hand, "None sense. Friendly? I just didn't
want to lower myself to fight with that little shithead any more."

At the same time, "that little shithead" Mr. Fei was flaunting his full set of well-
rehearsed suave manners with the beautiful ladies amid the clattering ensemble of
elevator-repairing tools.

Luo Wenzhou, shrouded in the smell of curry, felt that he was almost blinded by this
rotting bourgeoisie-style extravagance from feet away. He never saw eye to eye with
Fei Du's conduct or demeanor: "If not born with a silver spoon, this good-for-nothing
Romeo probably couldn't even pass for a successful beggar." He thought.

Luo Wenzhou approached them sullenly and was just about to vent "are those legs of
yours for breathing?" or "would you die from climbing the stairs?", when all of a
sudden he heard Tao Ran gaspe behind him. Shakily, Tao Ran said:
"Chang....ahem....Chang Ning?"

The lady turned around. Astonished by the happy coincidence, she chuckled: "Hah,
Tao Ran? What are you doing here?"

Fei Du and Luo Wenzhou froze for a sec. The two enemies shared a rare tacit
understanding at that moment. Sizing up the situation, both of them smelled
something out of ordinary from how the other two greeted.

Tao Ran was blushed ear to ear, and had completely forgotten where he was,
who(else) he was with, or why he was there.

He moved closer to the lady clumsily, and stuttered: "I......I'm living here since
yesterday. I just moved here. You....How come......."

"Seriously? I live here too!" Chang Ning grinned to him with a pair of cute dimples,
"What a coincidence! It must be destiny haha. See? I didn't fool you: my apartment is
very close to the subway, really convenient."

Tao Ran was first buzzed by the word "destiny", and then reminded of that disastrous
date night. Embarrassed, he rambled: "Ah.....that time.....yeah, I mean, .... I'm
really sorry for the accide....incident. Sorry that I didn't escort you home......"

The forgotten Cap Luo and Mr. Fei both grasped the gist and realized who the lady
was.

Knowing it was one thing, but witnessing it was something on a whole new level. The
two rivals glanced at each other, and both felt very complicated -

The target of their heated rivalry was in fact as straight as the Monkey King's Sea-
quenching Magic Needle.
And this Jingu-Bang was currently acting like any freshman of Fall-in-Love 101 in
front of his dream girl.

The two leading rivals-in-love silently watched the show from the side bench, with a
bulky home appliance in between.

Out there, the trees were flaunting their vigor in the hot steamy summer, with
crickets and birds chirping in the fifty-shades of green. To summarize it in a verse -

Roses are red.

The little girl on the box sensed none of the awkwardness in the air. She finished
nibbling the crispy ice-cream cone, and reached one hand out to Fei Du: "Gege, do
you have a napkin please?"

Three minutes later, Tao Ran finally managed to successfully extend the party
invitation to his femme de rêve. Chang Ning hesitated for a sec, then nodded "yes".
The exuberant Cap Tao then completed ignored his other two brothers and
courteously led the ladies upstairs......

leaving the two speechless men in the elevator room, both stunned by the
unexpected slap on the face - a gift from reality.

Luo Wenzhou: "I'm getting quite a mixed feeling right now."

Fei Du retracted his eyes from Tao Ran, and signaled to the big box with
his chin like a boss. Before the late-coming "rookie" responded, he tucked hands into
the pockets and waltzed away upstairs.

Luo Wenzhou: "......"

Maybe he was imaging it, but it felt as if Fei Du was getting more and more brazen
with him lately.

At last, Luo Wenzhou acted the bigger person and took on the coffee machine.
Despite the gesture, he didn't want to let Fei Du have it so easily. He sneered to the
man's back: "C'mon, it's not even heavy. Didn't know that you were so impotent."

Fei Du turned to him from a couple stairs above, looking down: "You wanna try it?"

Luo Wenzhu: "......"

Perhaps Fei Du was bugged by what just happened and needed some place to vent.
Whatever the reason was, he suddenly felt amused by Luo Wenzhou's speechless
expression. He sized Luo Wenzhou up, eyes twinkled with mischief. Without warning,
Fei Du closed in on Luo Wenzhou from above until he could see his own face filling
Luo's light colored irises.

Luo Wenzhou was into men by design. Taken aback, he instinctively took a step back
down.

Fei Du dropped a silent smile, and lightly knocked on the side of the box with one of
his slender fingers - "Rat-a-tat" - so ambivalent and suggestive, as if it was a knock
on the heart. Luo Wenzhou instantly felt a shiver up his spine. Before he knew it, his
shirt went sweaty.

However, at that time, the starter of it all had considered "mission accomplished",
and continued with his waltz up the stairs.

Luo Wenzhou: "......"

Son of a ......!

Tao Ran and Luo Wenzhou went down for rock sugar and came back with a goddess
and an "impotent" Mr. Grey.

After all, they've forgotten to get the rock sugar, and had to go with regular sugar
instead.

The "goddess" Chang Ning was an office lady who was just transferred to the
Yancheng City branch of her company. She was single, and temporarily lived with her
aunt. The little girl that she was with was her little cousin, Chen-chen, whom Chang
Ning was baby-sitting at the time.

With the arrival of the new guests, Tao Ran's living room became even more bubbly.
Some went to play with the kid, and the rest were booing Tao Ran and demanding for
the full story. Tao Ran blushed and stuttered, and finally resorted to the strategy of
"Change of Subject". He pointed at Fei Du and asked Lang Qiao: "Hey, didn't you
bring the silk banner here? Now is a perfect time......"

Lang Qiao received his SOS, and hurried to the entrance to get the beaming red
banner of honor. As it unfolded, the whole living room shined of virtuous halo.

Fei Du: "......"

There was more. Lang Qiao handed him the banner in all seriousness, and then took
out a golden-red certificate of merit: "Comrade Fei Du, our Chief Lu asked me to give
these to you, and asked Cap Luo to speak on his behalf today. After he finishes up
Wang Hongliang's case, he will organize an honorary ceremony for you - Cap Luo, will
you give the speech now or would you like me to do it?"

Luo Wenzhou was quite occupied by the butter and the soy sauce at the moment, and
yelled back from the noisy kitchen: "What did you say? - Tao Ran, your range hood
stopped working... Did the apartment lose power?"

Fei Du wanted to avoid the speech on "promoting core socialist values"at all cost. "I'll
go check on the electricity box." He volunteered.

Lang Qiao blinked with disbelief: "Do all big bosses know what an electricity box look
like?"

When Fei Du was younger, he spent a lot of time hanging out in Tao Ran's rented
apartment, which mostly had second-handed furnitures and appliances. Tao Ran, then
and now, lived a frugal life and seldom spent money buying new stuff if the old one
could still be repaired. Obviously he wouldn't let Fei Du "waste" money either.
Consequently, Fei Du had learned to repair many things.

The electricity circuit of this old building hasn't been upgraded for a long time, and it
still used an old-style fuse wire. Upon opening the box, a slight burning scent wafted
out - the fuse was blown.

Tao Ran obviously hasn't stock up any fuses on his move-in day. Fei Du had to go find
a hardware store.

On his way out, he was stopped by Chang Ning's little cousin, Chen-chen: "Gege, I
forgot to buy craft paper for my homework just now. Can I go with you?"

Fei Du took the little girl with him, away from the rowdy crowd. They quickly found
what they needed from the convenience store. Afterwards, Fei Du bought two cream
puffs from the bakery, and shared it with Chen-chen on the bench in the
neighborhood garden.

"The grown-ups can be so loud." Chen-chen commented, pretending to be more

Fei Du was just about to tease her a little, when suddenly he had a strange feeling: as
if someone, or something, was watching them.