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Chapter I

INTRODUCTION

The Problem and its Background

Family is the most important and valuable gift that God has given us and it plays

a significant role in human life. To have a complete family is indeed the most beautiful

experience that a person can have. It provides all its members with security, identity

and values, regardless of age. Every child dreams to have a complete family but

separation of parents which leads to broken families is considered common these days.

These children are likely to suffer distress in many aspects of their lives for they feel that

once a complete family is now broken and incomplete. The life after separation is the

most challenging, not only are the parents realizing new ways of relating to each other,

but they are learning new ways to parent their children. A broken home is where the

parents of a family are separated or divorced (Oxford, 2018).

Dysfunctional family is no longer rare and marriages are becoming less common.

It exists not just in the Philippines but also in many countries around the world. In

Norway, as in other countries, divorce and separation tend to be more common among

the lower educated, and children from these families have, on average, poorer

educational outcomes (Lyngstad, 2004).

Marital dissolution which leads to dysfunctional family has become a universal

dilemma and felt globally. This dilemma directly affects not just the couple but mainly

the children in many aspects of their lives. Ideally, parents and family play a major role

in the development of a child and introducing the meaning of life to the children of the
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neighborhood and, besides spiritual, promotes the fundamental needs, both physical

and psychological.

This marriage dissolution results in family dysfuntion. Dissolution rate of marriage

in the Philippines is steadily increasing overtime despite the lack of divorce law. Aside

from Vatican, the Philippines is the only country in the world where divorce is not legal

yet belonging into a dysfunctional family is well accepted. Early marriage is one of the

key factors contributing to marriage failure and dysfunctional family. In their teenage

years, they find relationships fascinating as they discover and experiment.

However, changes occur when they discover their differences and end up to separation.

Hence, children with dysfunctional family can suffer emotional, mental and

psychological problems and even their academic performance may be compromised.

In one of the schools in Davao de Oro, particularly in the Municipality of New

Bataan, there is an emerging phenomenon that many students are coming from

dysfunctional families. Some of these students engage into fights and bullying as

reflected in the guidance anecdotal record. Some other, as per other teachers sharing,

are performing poorly in their academic and show tardiness and no interest to

education. However, some show interest and determination and do well in their

academic performance and are honor students.

The situation and scenario led me to conduct this study since there were several

junior high school students of Magangit Integrated School who are products of

dysfunctional families. There were instances wherein some of these students would fail

in their academics due to frequent absences, tardiness, and cutting classes. Some also

fail to pay their school obligations. Hence, the researcher would like to embark on this
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study and explore the stories and experiences of these students who are products of

dysfunctional families.

Purpose of the study

The purpose of this study was to explore the stories and experiences of five

students of Magangit Integrated School who are with dysfunctional families. It

endeavors to go further in the feelings, sentiments and perspectives of the research

informants on being a product of dysfunctional family. To enable the research

informants speak out their sentiments and share inspiring stories to other students; and

give them deeper understanding in the classroom and stimulate positive attitudes. In

this view, the study would suggest policies and programs that address the needs of

these students in school.

Review of Related Literature

This chapter presents relevant literature review that could support to the findings

of this study. This literature review and studies are organized into subtopics: perception

of family, dysfunctional family experiences, challenges and causes of dysfunctional

family, challenges and impacts of dysfunctional family; and coping mechanism.

Perception on Family. According to Soefandi and Pramudya (2009), the family

is a social group consisting of two or more people who have blood ties, marriage, or

adoption. Families can also be interpreted as small social groups consisting mostly of

fathers, mothers, and children, which has a profound effect on children's socialization

process (Roostin, 2018). Children’s developments are highly dependent on the

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interaction and presence of the family. It is necessary in equipping the children with the

basic knowledge and skills they have to acquire.

Recent research about family defines its concept as a privileged environment of

personality formation and bounding, therefore, it has a fundamental role in the

development of toddlers and adolescents (Berry, Kagitçibasi, Georgas, Poortinga, &

Van de Vijler, 2006; Relvas & Vaz, 2007). Bayle (2005) maintains that the concept of

family has been changing and suffering some important evolution concerning to sexual

differentiation, biological factors, and the function of men and women at the symbolic

and prohibitions. All of these matter the social evolution. These changings are going to

have repercussions in the family structure as well as in its functioning. During a long

time, the child occupied a verge place in the family. However, as time goes by, the child

becomes central in the family life (Leal, 2005).

In addition, Saikia (2017) viewed family to be the first institution where one starts

to equip oneself to grow. Having healthy and happy family is what everyone’s dream.

But many could not succeed it due to differences. Individual differences exist in every

family which every party must respect. However, if these differences clash because of

the lack of understanding among the family, this would lead to dispute and eventually to

separation of family members.

As stated by Roostin (2018), the role of the family as the main educator in the

family is claimed to work together to educate their children. The main role of the family

in educating children is as a foundation for moral education and religious life. The

nature and nature of children is largely derived from both parents and from other family

members. As the children grow up, it is very vital to have a family that surround him
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because parents are the first teacher and the home is the first institution where the

children learn first.

The family provides emotional support to an individual as well as plays a major

role in the formation of one’s personality (Urbano, 2020). The interaction and presence

of parents and family members cannot be denied that it is very helpful and necessary in

the development of a child. The family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as

the root of culture. It is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance and

emotional refueling that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater

world and to become all that he can be (Rao, 2011). This tells us that a child nurtured

by a family gives them the drive and encouragement to be the person they want to

become in the future. A solid family and home is where kids gain the personality,

control, and good schooling that are fundamental for their full individual development.

Once the child is born, a process of individual development starts within the

family through learning habits, values, and language codes that make the child unique,

different from all others. Therefore, the family context plays a fundamental role in the

personality development of children and adolescents (Ribeiro, 2007; Relvas & Vaz,

2007).

In the early years in the life of children, family is most important to guide and

surround the children for what environment they grow up, affects their development.

The family is a place of learning for children in all attitudes to worship God as a

manifestation of the highest value of life. Thus, it is clear that the first and foremost

person responsible for survival in educating the child is the family. As a primary

educator in the family many of the advantages parents get in educating children is the
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first opportunity to provide a picture of the vale and norm to the child as a basic

strengthening that they must have (Roostin, 2018).

Dysfunctional Family Experiences. As cited in the study of Yahaya (2012),

Colcord mentioned that a broken home is a home in which one of or both parents have

been removed by death, divorce, desertion, or separation of prolonged absence. Saikia

(2017) said that broken home is not distinct and strange thing, rather common and

experiencing problem in and around us. It is a situation whereby the family is engulfed

with misunderstanding of marriage and family structure (Ghaerba, 2001). This family

restructuring denotes separation of family members.

Divorce is not a situation that happens from one day to another. It is a complex

process that involves multiple changes (Souza, 2000; Ribeiro, 2007). Before it happens,

it has a lot of history behind, which probably causes the child pain and suffering. Ribeiro

added that divorce is one of the major stresses that a child can experience as

threatening and destabilizing situation that it is being expected that the child’s reactions

are intense and sometimes lasting.

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network (2016) mentioned that separations

may be sudden, unexpected, and/or prolonged, and are often accompanied by

additional cumulative stressful events, such as parental incarceration, parental

deportation, or termination of parental rights. Even in situations where separations are

not sudden, such as cases of parental deployment, these separations can still be

traumatic for children. Devoe, Paris, Emmert-Aronson, Ross, and Acker (2016); Fox and

Rutter (2010) added that research shows young children are sensitive to stressors on
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the family system and developmentally vulnerable to separation from their primary

caregiver.

Educators are often the first to notice a change in behavior when a family is in

transition to being broken up Teachers have observed that some children from divorced

families may show decreased functioning in academic performance and display

oppositional behavior, or signs of anxiety and depression (Whitemarsh, 2008).

A single parent family as a broken home is a condition where either the man or

woman takes care of the children alone without the help of the second party or parties.

Akintayo said and explained further that single families have become permanent and

noticeable feature in many societies today throughout the world. This conveys that

separation which eventually result in broken home is no longer rare in the society and

now considered common (Akinlayo, 2002).

Further, Agulana (2000) pointed out that the family lays the psychological, moral,

and spiritual foundation in the overall development of the child. Structurally, a

family/home is either broken or intact. A broken home in this context is one that is not

structurally intact, as a result of divorce, separation, death of one of parent and

illegitimacy. The presence of the couple does not make a home and reckoned to be

broken if they do not live functionally together as one. In such a home, the chain of

communication and interaction that should exist between the members of the family as

a single, integrated unit is relatively non-existent. The parents cannot just get along, and

the children live in a world of their own (Yahaya, 2012).

Most, but certainly not all, divorces are preceded by a period of marital conflict

and has been found to be associated with behavioural problems in children (Elliot,
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2014). When a home is broken, children are affected in many ways for example the girls

amongst them may run into men in order to pay their school fees. Some of them may

get pregnant in the process which might warrant them to quit, education entirely (Okoye,

2001). Most studies found that for younger children (i.e. those in elementary school) the

adverse impact was more pronounced than for older children (i.e. those in high school)

Amato (2001).

In addition, Johnson (2005) asserts as cited in the study of Garcia that children

from divorced families often fail and are at a risk emotionally. However, this may not be

completely applicable in all instances of broken homes. Some children irrespective of

home background or structures may work hard and become successful in life. Ayodele

(2006) noted that the environment where a child finds himself or herself goes a long

way in determining his learning ability and ultimately his academic performance in

school.

If adolescents from unstable homes are to be compared with those from stable

homes, it would be seen that the former have more social, academic and emotional

problems (Schults, 2006). Children living with single mothers are much more likely to

live in poverty than children living with both married parents (Edwards, 2014). This

implies that restructured home has a lot of effect to the children.

Family environment which can be broken or intact exert a directional influence on

behavior and personality development of a child. Children from broken home are at

great risk in terms of Psychological problems. This is supported by the report of London

institute of Psychiatry (2008) which pointed out that people from the broken homes are

more prone to psychotic illness, schizophrenia. This is mental illness in which a person
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becomes unable to link thought, emotion and behaviors leading to withdrawal from

reality and personal relationships

Challenges and Causes of Dysfunctional Family. Heaton, Cammack, and

Young (2001) said that ideological and structural changes associated with

modernization and economic development figure prominently as explanations advanced

for increases in marital disruption, although the causality and contributions of individual

factors are still not clear

Aside from the Vatican City, the Philippines is the only country in the world where

divorce is not legal (Emery 2013). Marriage as an institution is strongly revered in the

Philippines (Gultiano et al., 2009). A study by Galang (2015), the common reasons why

Filipino couples separate include financial problems, lack of communication, infidelity,

and domestic violence. The increase in union dissolution has been accompanied by a

parallel increase in the proportion of Filipinos who live together with their partner without

marrying.

This seems to be one of the major causes of divorces. “The American Journal of

Sociology recently published a study which found out that a husband's unemployment

can be a key factor behind divorce” (Top Reasons for Divorce, 2014). In fact, lack of

money can often cause marital problems to flare into a divorce filing. A married couple

facing financial difficulties is often under a lot of stress, which in turn can lead to

constant arguing and lack of communications. Couples who do not agree on ways of

managing money or couples where one life partner has and controls the accounts of the

home can face marital strain that can result in separation.

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Domestic and gender violence accounts for some of the divorce cases. In cases

where “violence is meted out on the woman in marriage by either the spouse or in-laws,

it may lead to divorce, especially in this age of gender equality and equity” (Eyo, 2016).

The violence can be physical, sexual, verbal, economic, emotional, etc. violence.

Furthermore, People can become addicted to substances, behaviors or even

other people. Whether it is drugs, gambling, or alcohol, addiction can wreck a person’s

life. As a person’s addiction gains more control, they often find themselves in peril of

losing employment, friends, and their marriage. “Addicts often exhibit behavior that is

unacceptable in a marriage, i.e. lying, stealing, and betrayal of marital trust, and

consequently addiction makes the list of top reasons why couples divorce, according to

Henry Gornbein, a family law specialist” (Top Reasons for Divorce, 2014).

According to Saikia (2017), anytime, anywhere and anyhow, divorce is not

healthy for the family life. But it happens. Divorce is claimed to be the main reason

behind broken family. The common disputes between a husband and a wife are the

financial issue, sexual misunderstanding, early marriage, teen pregnancy, education,

health problem, etc. When the parents get divorced, usually either of them or sometime

both of them leave home. Then the absence of either or both the parents will affect the

family administration, then family becomes broken. Children who witness parents’

conflicts may shape a negative perception on self, because they tend to consider

themselves as causes of conflicts and blame themselves for a disharmonious marital

relationship (Grych et al., 2000).

Support from family is critical because poor support contributes to lower

academic achievement among adolescents even in intact families (Siti Nor & Zaline,
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2005). According to Sun and Li (2002), high parental conflict is associated with lower

score on Mathematics and reading exams among adolescents from divorced families

compared to adolescents in intact families. Divorce generally leads to a severe decline

in the standard of living of single mother families, and this decline may increase

children’s development risk in various aspects including academic achievement.

A low level conflict with parents and closeness to them are associated with less

likelihood of having behavioral and emotional problems (Caughlin & Malis, 2004; Parker

& Benson, 2004; Vandewater & Lansford, 2005).

Challenges of Dysfunctional Family. Saikia (2017) stressed that the effects of

a broken family on child’s development depend on numerous factors, including her age

when her parents separate, and development on her personality and family

relationships. Although infants and young children may experience few negative

developmental effects, older children and teenagers may experience some problems in

social, emotional and educational functioning. He added that the emotional stress of a

divorce alone can be enough to stunt your child’s academic progress, but the lifestyle

changes and instability of a broken family can contribute to poor educational outcomes.

This can stem from a number of factors, including instability in the home environment,

inadequate financial resources and inconsistent routines.

When parents separate, it is the children who are greatly affected in their

emotional and social aspect. Clinical and therapists note that children caught in the

middle of parent’s animosity during separation have attention and concentration

problems, academic problems, anger issues, sleep disorders, and other psychological,

behavioral and spiritual problems. Broken homes can cause children to question their
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self- worth, to experience unnecessary grief, guilt and confusion. It can affect their

whole life, especially in their studies and in their emotions. Being into a broken family

gives a lot of effects in a teenager. The one who should support and be there for them

are the one who hurts their feeling (Galang, 2015).

A study of Pett, Wampold, Turner, and Vaughan-Cole cited by Woosley, Dennis,

Robertson, and Goldstein (2009) concluded that children of divorced parents had more

problems in school than those whose parents were still together. However, according to

a study by Souza (2000), the initial negative reactions to divorce do not necessarily

reflect a long-term commitment, which may indicate that these are just normal reactions

to the situation.

In the United States of America, over fifty percent of children and adolescents

have experienced a traumatic event, including but not limited to domestic violence,

community violence, child physical or sexual abuse, bullying, serious accidents, medical

trauma, neglect, caregiver separations, or the traumatic death of a loved one (Cohen,

Berliner, & Mannarino, 2010). Trauma is defined as a “subjective experience of terror

and/or helplessness in response to an extraordinarily stressful event (Bulanda &

Johnson, 2015).

Divorce has been shown to diminish a child's future competence in all areas of

life, including family relationships, education, emotional well-being, and future earning

power. One review of the literature conducted in the United Kingdom found that

“although children are at increased risk of adverse outcomes following family

breakdown and that negative outcomes can persist into adulthood, the difference

between children from intact and non-intact families is a small one, and the majority of
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children will not be adversely affected in the long-term” (Mooney, Oliver & Smith, 2009).

Supported by Saikia (2017), Children are the ones who suffer most when parents are

separated. Broken family is followed by financial problems generally, that is why; there

are more tendencies for children to stealing and robbery. Further, Urbano (2020)

explained that divorce creates emotional turmoil for the entire family, but for kids, the

situation can be quite scary, confusing, and frustrating.

Past studies have shown that children and adolescents who are exposed to high

level of parental conflict had more problems in academic compared with children and

adolescents who had not experienced parental conflict. These children and adolescents

have two to three times more tendencies to drop out from school (Kelly, 2000; Amato,

2001; Rodgers & Rose, 2001).

Okoye (2012) explained that academic performance is an objective score of

attainment after a specified instructional programme. Academic performance can be

influenced by many factors, but the impact family relationships play on a child’s

scholastic achievement alongside the development of the child cannot be

overemphasized. This may be associated with tensions in the home, family discord or

family instability (Iye, n.d.). All these cumulatively produce an emotionally barren

atmosphere in the home. The gradual development of these problems until its full

manifestation directly affects the emotions of growing children especially young

adolescents and can adversely disrupt the level of concentration and learning abilities of

these children in school. Iye added that the family structure a child emanates from can

seriously affect the academic performance of an individual especially an adolescent. It

has been proven that children from stable homes do better in their academic pursuits in
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their various schools due to their emotional stability/balance and family than those from

unstable or broken homes.

Additionally, Roehlkepartain (2003) stated that the family and its structure play a

great role in children’s academic performance. Child’s mental and emotional

developments which are factors for school education could be greatly influenced by

nature of the family into which the child is born. The status of the family determines the

type of influences and the level of educational attainment of children that are brought up

in various homes. Parents are probably the actor with the clearest un-dimentionals

interest in a high level of their children’s academic performance (Levin, 2001). To some

extent, there is simple evidence to show that marital instability brings about stress,

tension, lack of motivation and frustration. Obviously, these manifestations act

negatively on a child’s academic performance. Rodgers and Rose (2002) stressed that

teenagers who experienced parental divorce have higher risks to develop depression

symptoms, low self-esteem, aggression, alcoholic, drugs use, and criminal behavior.

Further, Bubelwa (2014) believed that the degree of parental conflicts varies from mild

to serious. These conflicts affect the academic performance of their children hence lead

to drop out from school. In their recent longitudinal study, Harold and Shelton (2007)

revealed the roles of marital relations and children’s academic achievement.

Furthermore, Sun and Li (2007) also found that adolescents of separated parents

have lower scores on measures of well-being. (i.e., academic functioning, locus of

control, and self-esteem) compared to adolescents of intact families. According to

Doughty (2008), the research adds to a wealth of data showing that children suffer

badly from parental break-up, and that those who are brought up by a single parent are
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more likely to do badly at school, suffer poor health, and fall into crime, addiction and

poverty as adults. The report, funded by the Department of Health and published by the

Office for National Statistics, investigated emotional disorders - ranked as those which

cause considerable distress and interference with the way in which children perform at

school and during play. Teachers are often too quick to identify separation as the

reason for child’s school behavior problem. The greater society points a finger at

separation as the reason for a wide range of greater social problems (Ahron, 2007). It

also looked at conduct disorders which result in aggressive, violent or anti-social

behavior.

A study conducted by Biblarz (2000) compared academic performance of

children of divorce with children of widowed mothers. Findings concluded that children

of divorcees were less likely to complete high school, attend college, or attend graduate

school than children of widowed mothers. Divorce makes children unsafe, uncertain of

the future or makes children feel that the future is bleak and they become helpless

because they fear that something bad could happen to them (Wallerstein & Blakeslee,

2003).

Each child’s reaction depends on how she/he perceives it or the different

personal or familial circumstances before or after the divorce (Clandos & Kemp, 2007).

Lansky (2000) added that some children perform better in school as an attempt to shut

out problems at home.

Research also confirms that children of divorced parents may experience

emotional problems such as loneliness and depression (Asetline & VanderValk, 2005).

However, Hauwa et al. (2005), observed that the loss of the mother in early life is more
 16

damaging to a child than loss of father. The children may suffer initial psychological,

financial and otherwise effects, their separation from one of their parents may cause

them initial emotional upset or trauma, but they have the advantage of being from

conflict and hostility (Ukpong, 2014).

Coping Mechanism. Family stress is the most common cause of behavioral

problems of the adolescents. Parental separation, children born outside marriage, death

of a parent, discordant two-parent families, and stepfamilies are the origins of a broken

home. However, adolescence becomes risk-taking due to economic hardship, quality of

parenting, and exposure to stress (Amato, 2007). The effort and care that parents put

into establishing their post separation families are crucial and will pay off over the years

in their many benefits to the children (Ahron, 2007). Ahron added that children are

encouraged to blame the separation for whatever unhappiness they may feel, which

makes them feel helpless about improving their lives.

Undergoing such circumstances, it will not be surprising if the health of the

teenagers will also be sacrificed. It is revealed by Coke (2007) that most of the time,

they experience physical and mental symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, tooth

grinding at night, headaches, depression, anxiety and panic attacks, irritability, and

panic behavior, low immunity, and palpitations. Affected adolescents use smoking as

coping mechanism to broken home. Aside from smoking, adolescents also are engaged

to drinking, taking illegal drugs, sexual activity, and juvenile delinquency as coping

strategies (Cruz & Berja, 2008). In terms of the psychological aspect, girls more likely

exhibit emotional distress toward boys (Yeo & Huan, 2007).

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The study of Magpantay, Malabrigo, Malijan, and Manarin (2014) revealed the

positive and negative coping strategies of the people belonging to dysfunctional family.

Engaging oneself in sports is the only positive coping strategy that ranked first. The

other positive coping strategies include the following: spending time reading books and

studying, along with expressing oneself through art, involving in outreach programs,

involvement in church organizations, and shopping along with receiving achievements

in school. The findings of their study revealed that there are many more respondents

who tried negative coping strategies than positive ones. This is notable since the

negative ones tend to put the adolescent to a more critical and dangerous situation so

that instead of being able to minimize the disadvantages of being in a broken family, it

turns to be the opposite. One of the respondents used to smoke and drink alcohol as

her coping mechanism in order for her to forget her difficult situation for a period of time.

Coping with marital conflict homes means obtaining food, clothes, shelter and

protecting against parental violence and health services. It depends on the personal

strength of the child’s resourcefulness (the ability to solve problems quickly and

efficiently with the available resources) and resilience (the ability to do well in spite of

difficult circumstances) which determine his/her survival (Rizzin, 2003). Rizzin added

that resourcefulness and resilience would depend upon the child’s creativity, hard work,

intelligence and concern for one another. Protective factors include psychological

reactivity, social support and effective coping skills which help child to tolerate the

situation. They were used to ask their peers for help and peers invite to play together as

the help of turn them happier (Suls & Wallston, 2003).

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Review of Related Studies

According to Frazer (2004), psychological home conditions arise mainly from

illegitimacy of children, the label of adopted child, broken homes, divorce and

parental deprivation. Such abnormal conditions of the home, are likely to have a

detrimental effect on school performance of the child he asserts.

A large number of studies from the United States have compared children with

divorced and continuously married parents on a variety of outcomes. Several

scholars, including Amato (2000), Hetherington and Kelly (2002), and Kelly and

Emery (2003), have reviewed this (primarily) American research literature. Rodgers

and Pryor (1998) reviewed comparable studies from England, Canada, Australia,

and New Zealand. In general, the accumulated research shows that children with

divorced parents, compared with children with continuously married parents, exhibit

more conduct problems, have more emotional problems, obtain lower academic test

scores and school grades, and have more problems with social relationships.

Divorce also is associated with weaker emotional ties with parents – especially

fathers. These disadvantages appear to persist into adulthood. In particular,

individuals who experienced parental divorce, compared with individuals who grew

up with continuously married parents, obtain less education, earn less income, are

more likely to have nonmarital births, are at greater risk of becoming depressed, and

have poorer physical health. In addition, individuals who experienced parental

divorce while growing up report more problems in their own marriages and are more

likely to see their marriages end in disruption.

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Mackay (2005) revealed that after separation, most children live in the primary

custody of one parent. In most cases, children live with her mother, so that the

significant problem is the absence of their father. It is not just the father’s presence

in the home that is important, it is his presence in child’s life. Amato and Cheadle

(2005) revealed that children with divorce parents tend to obtain lower education,

have weaker ties with parents, and report more symptoms of psychological distress.

Divorce increases the risk of adjustment problems in children (Grych & Fincham,

1990; Kelly & Emery, 2003).

Adult with divorced parents have less personal relationship commitment to

their own marriages and less confidence in their own ability to maintain a happy

marriage with their spouse (Whitton, Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2008) However,

not all children with divorced parents are at risk. Some children with divorced parents

are found to be achievers and to be positive despite their parental divorce.

Children in extreme and non-conducive environments had a positive

development, despite an unpleasant experience (Linley & Joseph, 2004). The

success or failure of a child in dealing with parental divorce depends on the child's

endurance. The endurance or capacity in dealing conflicts is called “resilience”

(Chen, 2005; Masten, Best, & Garmezy, 1990).

As cited in the study of Amato (2001), two large meta-analyses, one reported

in 1991 and the other reported ten years later in 2001, showed that “children with

divorced parents continued to score significantly lower on measures of academic

achievement, conduct, psychological adjustment, self-concept, and social relations”.

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Theoretical Lens

The Abraham Maslow’s theory on hierarchy of needs was adopted for this

study. Maslow (1970) focuses on self-actualization of a person. Self-actualization

needs is the highest level in Maslow's hierarchy, and refers to the realization of a

person's potential, self-fulfillment, seeking personal growth and peak experiences.

Maslow describes this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to

become the best that one can be. Every person is capable and has the desire to

move up the hierarchy toward a level of self-actualization. Unfortunately, progress is

often disrupted by a failure to meet lower level needs.

Growth starts somewhere below and this theory explains that in order for a

person to reach the self-actualization need and be satisfied, he/she must first meet

the lower levels. If he/she is deprived to meet these needs below, it will hinder him to

reach the top. In the separation of parents, the children are greatly affected and

commonly lack attention, love, care, time and guidance and as a result it will be

difficult for them to achieve this self-actualization. A student who is satisfied with the

need of self-actualization has the capability to deal with life’s challenges and bounce

from it. A student who has realized and satisfied with this need, despite any

situation, he/she would have the drive and confidence to continue his/her studies in

achieving his/her goals in life. Thus, he/she would perceive the situation as a

motivation and foster positive academic performance then become a person he/she

is potential.

Moreover, the researcher believes that this theory holds a better connection to

the study. Children who come from dysfunctional families are believed to have a
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need in terms of love, guidance and care from the parents. These deprivations are

harmful to their well-being and could hinder self-growth.

The figure below shows the schematic diagram of the study which displays

that this study explores the experiences, perceptions, challenges, insights gained,

and coping mechanism of these students from dysfunctional family.

Students from dysfunctional family have experiences in different areas of their

lives that affect their lives as students. The experience of students who come from

dysfunctional family affects their academic performance. Challenges in life and

studies may occur because of parents’ separation and family set-up may change

their perception towards life and their life as a student. In dealing with the demands

of life, it is vital for these students to identify their coping mechanisms for them to

overcome life’s trials caused by the separation of parents. After all, there must be

insights gained by these students that must be shared and heard.

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STUDENTS FROM
DYSFUNCTIONAL
FAMILY

INSIGHTS
EXPERIENCES
GAINED

CHALLENGES COPING
MECHANISM

Figure 1. Conceptual Diagram

Research Questions
 23

This study aimed to answer the following questions:

1. What experiences did the informants have in the separation of their parents?

2. What were the challenges encountered by the informants after the separation of

their parents?

3. How did the informants cope with the challenges brought about by the separation

of their parents?

4. Based on experiences, what insights did the informants gain and what

realizations did they arrive at?

Scope and Delimitation of the Study

This study was delimited only on the experiences, challenges, and coping

mechanism of students. This study was delimited to the five cases, two from grade 8

and grade 9 respectively and one grade 10, of Junior High School students during

academic year 2020-2021 of Magangit Integrated School who came from dyfunctional

families. In-depth Interview (IDI) was used to gather vital information to Junior High

School Students of Magangit Integrated School whose parents are separated. This

study was limited to the veracity of the responses of the participants.

Significance of the Study

The findings of the study would be beneficial to the following:

Students. This would unfold their experiences that are often overseen. It will give

them an opportunity to be understood and not to be bullied.

Parents. The findings of this study could give them insights on the

consequences of deciding to break the family. They will be more aware on the
 24

measures to take in dealing students who came from dysfunctional families and help

them maximize their parenting style in their own children.

Teachers. The findings of this study would help the teachers to be more

understanding and considerate of the students from dysfunctional families and to help

them develop resiliency amidst the problems that the students have.

Guidance Counselors. The findings of this study would provide knowledge and

awareness to the guidance counselors and be able to include in their guidance program

a counseling activity for the students from dysfunctional families.

DepEd Officials. As policy makers, the findings of this study would inspire them

to create policies and address the problem patiently.

Other Researchers. The study would also serve as reference material for other

researcher and studies related to the topic.

Definition of Terms

The following terms are defined operationally:

Challenges. This refers to different tasks or problems commonly experienced by

a student who came from a broken family.

Coping Mechanism. This refers to the abilty of the students from dysfunctional

family to deal and rise above the situation.

Experiences. This refers to the things the students have gone through before,

during and after the separation of their parents.

Dysfunctional Family. This refers to students who/whose: (a) have only one

parent due to the death of a mother/ father; (b) is under the care of mother/father
 25

because of parents separation; (c) parents separate and is under the care of

guardians/grandparents; (d) family separates.

Insights. This refers to the ability to gain deep understanding and interpretation

of students who came from broken family.

Chapter II

METHODOLOGY
 26

This chapter discusses the research design, research locale, participants of the

study, role of the researcher, data collection procedure, trustworthiness and credibility .

Research Design

In this study, the researcher utilized a multiple case study approach. A case

study is a methodological approach that involves an in-depth exploration of a specific

bounded system, utilizing multiple forms of data collection to systematically gather

information on how system operates or functions (Mills, Durepos, & Wiebe, 2010). This

research sought to explore the stories and experiences of five students from broken

families. Thus, a multiple case study approach is suited for this research. In order to

develop a better understanding of the issue, cases were carefully selected.

In a multiple case study, we are examining several cases to understand the

similarities and differences between the cases and identification of how individual cases

might be influenced by different environments, and the specific conditions under which a

finding might happen. Yin (2003) describes how multiple case studies can be used to

either, “(a) predicts similar results (a literal replication) or (b) predicts contrasting results

but for predictable reasons (a theoretical replication)”.

Research Locale

The study was conducted at Magangit Integrated School, Magangit, New Bataan,

Davao de Oro with a total population of 234 students with eight regular teachers for

elementary, four for Junior high and four volunteers. The chosen school is the most

accessible school for the research since it is where I am assigned.

 27

The barangay is believed to have been named after the magarangit tree which

commonly grows in the said place. The people hardly pronounce the letter “r” that is

why instead of pronouncing magarangit they directly pronounce “Magangit” which later

on became the name of the barangay. The said barangay is rich in natural resources

particularly logs. Circa 1955 several logging concession flocked into the area like

extensive logging corporation, Arabejo, Labaw and LS Sarmiento. This logging

operation leads to the opening of the roads that made Magangit the sitio of Manat,

Nabunturan, Davao del Norte.

However, due to Republic Act. No. 2039 enacted in 1957 the sitio became a

regular barangay under the municipality of New Bataan. It has a population of 1,775

and most of the people were farmers. Barangay Magangit is composed of three sitios

namely: Lower Magangit, Logdeck and Upper Magangit. Two complete elementary

schools were established in the said barangay: Magangit Elementary School located in

the sitio of Lower Magangit and San Isidro Elementary School in the sitio of Upper

Magangit.

Magangit Elementary School has now become Magangit Integrated School

through the initiative of the school head and is popularly known as “Home of the

Munificient Education”. The School is located at Purok-2 Magangit, New Bataan, Davao

de Oro. Figure 2 on the succeeding page is the location map of Magangit Integrated

School.
 28

Magangit Integrated School

Figure 2. Location map of Magangit Integrated School

Research Participants
 29

Following the process of identifying qualified research subjects, the researcher

aims to interview five research informants who were particularly product of dysfunctional

families and were studying in Magangit Integrated School, Magangit, New Bataan,

Davao de Oro. Participants were particularly chosen for they have personal experience

coming from dysfunctional families.

In addition, I identified and selected the participants using any of the following

selection criteria: they must be (a) living under the care of a single parent due to

separation or death of another spouse; (b) a single parent who chose to have another

partner; (c) living under the guidance of grandparents or guardians.

Some parents of these students were separated who chose to become single

parent, separated who chose to have another partner, and some of these students were

left over the care of their grandparents and guardians. This made them qualify to

become participants of my study.

Moreover, purposive sampling technique was used by the researcher in

identifying the qualified research participants. Purposive sampling is a technique widely

used in qualitative research for the identification and selection of information-rich cases

for the most effective use of limited resources (Patton, 2002). This involves identifying

and selecting individuals or groups of individuals that are especially knowledgeable

about or experienced with a phenomenon of interest (Cresswell & Plano Clark, 2011).

Role of the Researcher

In the conduct of the study, it is the researcher’s responsibility to identify and

gather the participants and consider the credibility of the research findings. The role of the
 30

researcher travelled to gathering, encoding, transcribing, thematizing, analyzing, verifying

and reporting the results of this study.

In order to present reliable information about the informants, the researcher asked

permission from the Principal’s office. The researcher personally conducted the interview

using an interview guide which was validated by three internal validators and two external

validators. I recorded the responses of the interview through the use of mobile phones

and at the same time jot down notes to supplement the audio recorded interview.

It is also the researcher’s main role to maintain the credibility, consider ethics in

conducting the study, and keep the confidentiality and security of the respondents. The

names of the informants were coded for anonymity.

The researcher utilized In-depth-interview and transcribed the gathered data. I

made an analysis on the information gathered and draw some conclusions. The process

of analyzing the data involved categorizing the data and careful thematic analysis. I see to

it that assumptions, personal values, and biases were put aside to have total, genuine

information from the participants.

As a future administrator, it is essential to identify problems of students that could

hamper their learning in the educative process and be able to help them by providing

possible solutions. Consequently, the result of this study will enable the researcher to look

and suggest policies and programs that would help the involved participants to address

their needs in school.

Data Collection Procedure

In order to achieve its purpose, this qualitative research work required thorough

and methodological procedures. From the conceptualization stage to the gathering of

 31

all the data and until the end result of this research, I participated in a series of events

as Creswell (2007) mentioned that qualitative researchers are tied up in a series of

activities in the process of collecting data. Before the conduct of the study, the

researcher sent an email to the Schools Division Superintendent to ask permission to

conduct her study. After getting the approval, another letter was then prepared for the

school head of the identified student participants. Then, the researcher had her

research questionnaires validated.

To gather the information needed, a proper protocol and standard operating

procedures was done through the following:

First, I ensured the availability of the student participants and asked their

permission to be part of the research and also talked to their guardians informing them

of the purpose of the study and supplemental awareness in my study. It was explained

to the student participants that any confidential information would be treated with

utmost confidentiality.

Second, since we are currently facing a pandemic, the interview observed a

safety health protocol such as following social distancing, wearing of face mask and

face shields by the participants and the researcher.

Third, the interview was audio recorded through a mobile phone. Everything

that transpired during the interview was put into record.

Lastly, the audio recorded interview was transcribed word for word.

Data Analysis

From the transcribed data gathered, necessary steps were undertaken. Gathered

data were summarized, transcribed, translated and analysed. Data analysis in

 32

qualitative research is defined as the process of systematically searching and arranging

the interview transcripts, observation notes, or other non-textual materials that the

researcher accumulates to increase the understanding of the phenomenon (Bogdan &

Biklen, 1982).

The process of analyzing qualitative data predominantly involves coding or

categorizing the data. Thus, this includes sorting out vast amount of raw information by

following important patterns then drawing significance from the information and hence

constructing a logical chain of evidence (Patton, 2002).

Moreover, the processing of the data happenned during the transcription period

of the results. In this study, after transcribing the individual interview, statements that

relate to the topic was divided into core ideas that reflect into specific thought. The

process of data analysis involved categorizing the data and was carefully analyzed in

thematic analysis. The participants’ responses were grouped into major themes that

reflect the various aspects of the phenomenon.

Thematic analysis was done to ensure the appropriateness in analyzing the

responses of the participants.

Trustworthiness and Credibility

Trustworthiness is important in evaluating its worth and it is one of the major

concerns in qualitative research. To attain trustworthiness and validity of results in this

study, four strategies were utilized which are credibility, transferability, dependability,

and confirmability.

Credibility. The researcher attained credibility by utilizing the most fitted

research method for this study and identifying the most appropriate participants. An
 33

interview guide was used during the interview containing general research questions

and specific questions. Participants were encouraged to speak freely and express their

feelings, opinions and ideas as mentioned by Lincoln and Guba (2000), Credibility

establishes whether the research findings represent plausible information drawn from

the participants’ original data and is a correct interpretation of the participants’ original

views.

. Dependability. Honesty and fairness was guaranteed by the researcher in the

conduct of the study. The interview was audio recorded and was transcribed by the

researcher herself and these steps greatly helped in ensuring dependability of this

research study. A researcher can establish dependability if the work is repeated, in the

same context, with the same methods and with the same participants, similar results

would be obtained (Shenton, 2004).

Transferability. Basing on the data or results from the informant’s responses

and after undergoing data analysis, the researcher ensures transferability of the study.

Transferability concerns relate to the extent to which the results of particular research

program can be extrapolated, with confidence, to a wider population (Shenton 2004)

Conformability. This refers to the neutrality of the data rather than neutrality of

the researcher and audit trail which focus on the end product (Silverman, 2001).

Conformability was employed in this study by the researcher by being neutral, avoiding

biases and detach herself to avoid external influences that may arise throughout the

study.
 34

Ethical Consideration

Knowing the responsibility and sensitivity of the qualitative multiple case study,

the researcher adheres to the ethical considerations of this study.

The participants were given consent form indicating their willingness to

participate and to avoid violating some ethical issues. Informed consent is the most

common tool in ensuring ethical acceptability (Emanuel, Wendler, & Grady ,2000).

However, the purpose of informed consent is to ensure that the research participants

were aware of the possible risks, benefits, and alternatives to the research,

understanding that they voluntarily participate to the research with uncoerced decision

whether to participate.

Ethics must be drawn on the notion of researcher’s integrity and sought to

identify the characteristics or virtues that a researcher needs in order to behave in

morally or ethically good ways. Research participants should not be subjected to harm

in any ways whatsoever. I asked permission from the School’s Division Superintendent

of Davao de Oro with the endorsement letter from the graduate school office of

Assumption College of Nabunturan in order to proceed with my study. A permission was

also sought from the school head of the research participants. When the permission

from the authorities was granted, I approached the prospective participants and

informed them the purpose of my study. The researcher told the participants that they

can withdraw from the study at any time.

 35

Chapter III

HARDWORKING ETHAN

The first informant whom I would call Ethan (not his real name) is one of the

students who belong to dysfunctional family. Ethan’s parents separated when he was

still young. His mother, together with them left their father and search for another

place to start over together with Ethan’s stepfather. Ethan is currently facing life’s

struggles including financial constraint which pushed him to work while studying

since the start of his high school life.

Complete Family

Ethan briefly described his family before his parents separated and his mother

got them a stepfather.

Kumpleto ang pamilya.

(The family is complete)

Does Family bonding

He shared the unforgettable moments they had way back then together with

his whole family.

Bata paman ko nagbulag akong papa ug mama.

Naexperience jud nako na happy kayo naa akong papa
ilaag laag mi niya sa mall kung asa among gusto palitan
mi unsay gusto.

(I was still young when my father and mother separated. I

experienced being so happy having my father to bring us
to the mall and to any place where we want to go and buy
anything we want.)
 36

Feeling of sadness and loneliness

He also shared how devastated he was during the separation of his parents at a

young age.

Guol kay wala naman imong mama ug papa. Miss nimo ang
panahon nga naa sila, imong papa tapos wala naman di
naman pwede mautro to kay naa naman syay pamilya.

(Sad because your mother and father separated. You miss

the time when they were still together however, it is no
longer possible because he has another family.)

Financially unstable

Ethan revealed one of the challenges he experienced at home.

Lisod jud nga walay papa. Ok lang unta maglisod mi nga

kumpleto mi. Mas lisod jud na wala paka’y papa, lisod pa
imong kahimtang kanang lain gyud..

(It is hard having no father. it is okay to be in a difficult

situation as long as we are complete. It is harder to have no
father around and be in a difficult situation.)

Yearning for Attention

Ethan is dealing the feeling of incomplete not having his biological father in his

day to day life even he already got a stepfather.

Lahi rajud sya kung naa kay papa kay naa kay malambing
nga papa.

(It is really different if you have a father, you have someone

to cuddle with.)

Working to provide for own needs

He shared his struggles he has been facing in his life due to financial constraint

that affects his academics.

Lisod maam kay mangita kag baon para sa imong

kaugalingon ug akong mama wala may kay trabaho.
 37

(It is difficult maam because you will seek an allowance for

yourself and my mother has no job.)

Prioritized work over studies

Further, Ethan expressed that in order to provide his needs in school he has to

work hard even the expense of his academic studies.

Naay panahon nga di ko ganahan mo skwela kay wala nakoy

gana kay gusto ko manarbaho nalang. kay mao gihapon
moskwela ko uli tag balay wala man koy kwarta naa kay gusto
di man nimo mapalit ang mga project kay walay kwarta.

(There are days that I do not like to go to school and just do

work instead. If I go to school and do not work, I will have no
money. If llike, sometimes you will not be able to afford it and
the school projects because you have no money.)

Out of focus

Ethan conveyed that the challenges he had faced affected him as a person and also

his studies.

Naapektohan kanang di naka ganahan maminaw, study

kanang naa naka sulod sa classroom wala ka naminawg
maayo, nag hunahuna ka sa imong trabaho nabyaan sa imong
trabahoan. Mag skwela man kog buntag mag duty man kog
tunnel inig ka gabii maong kapoy kaayo akong lawas.

(Affected in a way that you do not like to listen and study when
you are inside the classroom. You do not listen well; you are
bothered with the work you left in the workplace. I study in the
day maam then I work in the tunnel at night that is why my
body is tired.)

Praying

Experiencing all the struggles in life caused by his parents’ separation, Ethan shared

one of his ways in coping with it.

Bugoy man jud ko maam mag ampo lang jud ko sa ginoo nga
makaya lang nako.
 38

(I am really naughty maam, but I just pray to God to be able to

bear it.)

Focus on Working

Despite all the struggles, he shared the thing that occupied and helps him cope with

different challenges at home.

Magtrabaho lang ko para makakitag kwarta hantod makaya

raman sya maam.

(I just work to earn money as long as it is bearable maam.)

Time management

Coming from a dysfunctional family entails challenges that affect Ethan’s studies. He

revealed how he manages all of those challenges.

Bahinon nako akong panahon maam kung makaya nako nga

moskwela ko, moskwela ko pero kung paminaw nako nga lisod
muabsent lang ko para mabahin nako ang panahon nga
moskwela ko dala trabaho maam.

(I divide my time maam. If I can manage to go to school, I go to

school but if I feel that it is difficult, I just absent from the class
to balance my time. To study while working maam)

The more you think of it, the more you get hurt

Memories either help you move forward or hold you back. After all the adversities in

life, Ethan realized that he cannot move forward if he cannot let go of the past.

Ako nalang gibalewala akong problema i-happy happy nako sa

akong barkada kung asa ko malipay kay panahon nga
mahinumdoman nimo gyud sa una ug karun maguol man jud
ka maam pero madala lang man nimo kay naa man kay mga
barkada malingaw man ka sa ilaha. Mawala naman lang pud
sa hunahuna pero maguol man ka maam kung mahisgotan
nimo tong nakaagi maam ba kung nay mangutana “asa imong
ginikanan?” murag ma maguol jud ka pero ug di mahisgotan,
okay raman.
 39

(I just do not mind my problem I just spend happy times with

my friends where I can be happy because the moment I
remember the past and the present I become sad, but I have
friends who makes me happy. You will forget but you will get
sad if the past will be discussed about again if someone asks
“where are your parents?” you seem to get sad, but if it will not
be brought up, it is fine.)

Not to follow parents’ footsteps

Ethan shared his deep dislike for his current circumstance, belonging to a

dysfunctional family, and desire to work hard in his endeavors.

Di jud nako i-patisting ang natistingan nako maam kung

maabot ang panahon nga maminyo ko. Maningkamot jud ko
na akong anak kanang dili niya maexperience akong
nakaagian kay lisod man kaayo. lisod jud na broken family ka.

(I will not allow my family to experience what I had experienced

if the time will come that I will get married. I will do my best to
make my child not to experience what I had gone through
because it is so hard. It is really hard that you are in a broken
family.)

To own a house and a family

After all the adversities Ethan has experienced from the day his parents separate,

he tries to keep positive in life by fixing his plans and dreams.

Gusto ko makaplastar ko sa akong balay. Akoa lang, naa koy

balay kay kung magkapamilya ko sunod na naa silay mapuy-
an unsay gusto sa akong pamilya mahatag nako.

(I want to settle in my own house. What I want is to have my

own house so that if I will have my own family they have a
place to live. I will be able to provide what they want.)

To finish studies

Ethan believes that education can give him a bright future towards achieving his
dreams in life.
Una gyud gusto ko makahumag skwela maam.

(First thing is I want to finish my studies maam.)

 40

Chapter IV

YEARNING ZELIA

The second informant whom I would call Zelia (not her real name) came from

dysfunctional family. Zelia’s case is quite different because her parents separated when

her mother met and live with another man while her father was in jail. Zelia is one of the

secondary students of our locality who is struggling with different adversities in life

which includes bullying and troubles at home when she was blamed to be the reason for

her mother’s infidelity.

Happy Together

Zelia revealed how was their life before her father got involved into trouble which

led to their current familial status.

Lahi ra kaayo sa una kay lipay kaayo mi unya walay

problema, walay sabud. Wala jud problema ug kumpleto
bitaw kaayo karon kay gusto ka magkuyog, sila kay dili na.

(It is really different before because we were so happy and

we have no problem. No problem and the family isreally
complete. Now, you want them to be together but they no
longer want.)

Bonding Moments

One of the unforgettable memories they made as a family was shared by Zelia

which keeps her positive in life.

Nag bonding bonding mi suroy suroy. Sa kwarto mag

ginitikay unya kanang magkanta kanta pud usahay.

(We bond and roam around. Inside the bedroom we cuddle

and giggle and we sing along together sometimes.)
 41

Doing Simple Things Together

It is the simple memories that last a lifetime. Zelia reminisce the simple things

they do as a family.

Happy mag storya storya sa kan-anan unya mag katawa-

katawa. Dungan ug kanang ampo dayon tulog.

(They are happy with their conversation in the dining and

laugh together. Praying together before sleep.)

Feeling of Sadness and loneliness

Similar to the others from dysfunctional family, Zelia is emotionally affected and

fought with sadness and loneliness. She feels that there is something that is lacking in

her life. She said:

Kanang mingaw kayo. kanang magpangita bitaw ka. Naay

kulang sa imong kaugalingon.

(Very lonely. You are looking for something. Something is

lacking in you.)

Difficulty in providing daily needs

Zelia revealed their experience when her mother became a single parent who

has no stable job to provide for their daily needs.

Katong kami nalang dihaa kay mag lisod mig pangita ug

kaning sud-an. Usahay sa isa ka adlaw kay kaisa rami
makakaon.

(When we were the ones left, we had difficulty in looking for

food. Sometimes we only eat once a day)

Seeking for attention

As her mother found a new partner in life, Zelia expressed how she yearns the

attention of her mother and start meaningful conversations.

 42

Di mi magkalambing ni mama pag naa siya (stepfather). Si

mama kay murag nalahi gyud gane siya kay matunga iyang
atensyon. Gusto nako ba maglambingay mi abot niya sa
trabahoan (mama). Mag tabi, mag storya pareha sa una.
Karun di na niya mabuhat kay magselos man si stepfather.

(Mama and I could not cuddle when he (stepfather) is

around. Mama acted different because her attention is
divided. I want to spend quality time when she comes home
from work. To chitchat like before because now she can no
longer do that because my stepfather will get jealous.)

Misunderstanding and Arguments

Separation caused by infidelity leads to trouble and chaos. Misinterpretations

were made and disturbed Zelia’s peace. She shared:

Abi ni papa nga naa mi relasyon ni stepfather maong nag

away mi ato ug sila ni mama pod. Murag naa daw relasyon
kaming Stepfather unya nilaban man si mama kay syempre
wala gud jud unya lain kayo paminawon.

(Papa thought we had a relationship with my stepfather that

is why papa and I argue and also both mama and him.
According to papa, we seem to have a relationship with my
stepfather but mama argued and took my side because it is
absurd to hear.)

Was Blamed of the Separation

Belonging to a dysfunctional family is already painful but in the case of Zelia, she

was hurt when she was pointed out by her father, who was already out in jail, to be the

reason of her mother’s infidelity.

Napansin nako katong naa ko sa panabo lahi ra kaayo sya.

Naa bitaw toy kaisa cellphone nako gilamba ra niyag kalit
bag-ong pinalit kay ako daw hinungdan nagminyo si mama
kay ako daw nagaingon nga pagminyo na ma kay wala
natay sud-an sa balay.

(I noticed when I was in Panabo he was so different. There

was a time when Papa threw my phone that was newly
purchased and said that I was the reason why Mama looked
 43

for another man because I was the one who kept on telling her
to look for another man because we no longer have food.)

But for Zelia, the reason why her mother looked and lived with another man is to

have someone who would help her support and provide their needs.

Bullied in School

Bullying is rampant nowadays that can affect your mental health. In the same

manner, Zelia expressed her grudge with her bullying experience.

Daghan bitaw mag sungog sungog nga “walay papa”. kanang

anaon nga “nge way papa” mga bully-bully maam. Mo-eskwela
ko naay manungog nako nga (pangalan sa stepfather) unya
naay moingon nga mama daw mangabitay daw. Mosundog
daw ko ka mama.

(Many are mocking me saying “no father”. They say that “ew
no father” they bully maam. When I go to school there are
students who call me names (name of stepfather) and bully me
that my mother is a mistress and that I will imitate my mother.)

Financial Constraint

One of the challenges Zelia have experienced and witnessed due to their familial

status was seeing her mother barely able to pay her school obligations.

Sa skwelahan kay maglisod ug bayad si mama magkabuang

pag pangutang.

(In school, my mother struggled to pay because she finds a

hard time looking for money to borrow.)

Less Parents Participation

Commonly, after separation, parents are having a hard time to parent their

children adapting to the situation. Zelia’s separated parents have taken for granted

their responsibilities in Zelia’s academic needs. She narrated:

Kanang magbuhat ug family tree gusto nako

magtinabangay ba unya sila, di sila gusto kay wala man
 44

sila nag-uban. Kanang sa parent’s day pud kulang sila

maam. kanang wala bitaw mo advice na kintahay naa kay
problema sa skwelahan.

(In making of family tree, I want them to cooperate but

they do not like because they are no longer together. Also,
during parent’s day we are incomplete. No one is around
to advice you when you have a problem in school.)

Paying no attention

Dealing with the situation, Zelia’s father has been communicating her since

they are not living in the same place. Whenever her father reaches her, her

stepfather gets angry that will lead to quarrel between her mother and the stepfather.

However, Zelia chooses to be unbothered with it.

Ako nalang silang pasagdaan kay ilaha mana. Magskwela

nalang ko, kay ug mag-apil apil ko sa ilaha kay wala
raman gihapon koy makuan, kay ug mag apil-apil ko sa
ilaha sa storya madamay man ko.

(I just let them since it is their thing. I just study because if

I meddle, it will not benefit me. If I meddle with them I will
be involved in the arguments.)

Working to help Parent

To cope with the challenges in life, she extends help to her mother by working.

Magtabang tabang kog copras ila angkol (stepfather) unya

kanang naa bitaw ipatrabaho motrabaho pud ko basta naa
lay makuan sa balay ba.

(I help in the copra job of uncle (stepfather). And if there is

a work asked to be done, I do it just to have something at
home.)

Ignore the Bullies

 45

Bullies are everywhere but Zelia chooses to be unbothered and prioritize her

peace of mind.

Di nalang nako sila paminawon mao gihapon wa koy

mapala. Sagdaan nalang nako sila magyawyaw kay kung
mopatol ko, ako raman gihapoy madaot di man sila.

(I just do not listen to them because it will not benefit me. I

just let them murmur because if I fight with them, I will be
the one to get hurt not them.)

Striving and Thinking Happy Thoughts

Determining your coping mechanism in overcoming adversities in life is

necessary. Zelia in an interview revealed how she copes challenges she

encountered in her studies.

Maningkamot. Maningkamot nalang hunahunaon nalang

nako tong niagi ba kay murag malipay man ko
maghunahuna tong sa una..

(Strive hard. Just strive. I just reminisce the past for it

makes me happy remembering it.)

No Leaving

Zelia conveyed her realization and advice when it comes to family relationship

after all the hardships she has gone through.

Kung pamilyado naka dapat sa kalisod ug kalipay dapat

way biyaay kay ang maapektohan ra ba jud kay pamilya.

(If you are already a family man, through ups and downs,
there should be no leaving because it will really affect the
family.)

Zelia believed that love enables a person to do foolish things or commit

infidelity.

Family is the core of a person

 46

Zelia recognized the importance of a family. A complete family fills in the hole

that makes you feel incomplete.

Importante jud ang pamilya kay kung guba kaayo ang

pamilya kay murag kulang jud kaayo mam. Gusto ka
mangayo bitaw kag lambing, gusto kag kanang sila jud
duha kay kanang di nimo makuan.

(Family is really important because if it is broken it feels

that something is really lacking. You want to ask for
cuddles from both of your parents but you cannot get
anything.)

Finish Studies and give back to Parents

Dealing with the demands in life, Zelia stressed her dream of finishing studies

in order for her to give back to her parents.

Makahuman ug skwela para mutabang sa pamilya mam.

makatabang ko saila bahalag bulag sila basta tabangan
nako sila kung unsay kinahanglan ni papa ug ni mama di
nalang ko manguan kung kinsa may labaw nakabuhi sa
amoa.

(To finish studies in order to help my family. Help them

even though they are separated. I will help them as to
what papa and mama need regardless of who has given
more support in raising us.)

Not to follow Parents’ Path

Experiencing all the hardships and having emotional baggage, she desires to

have her own family in the future and aims not to follow her parents’ path.

Kung ako magminyo, magkuan ug pamilya nga kanang

buo. Unya kung naay problema kayahon lang mam ba dili
magpatonto sa mga bisan unsa nga problema makapa
discourage. Unya kung minyo na, focus jud bitaw sa mga
anak nya dili mga away-away arun dili maapektohan. Dili
ipadungog sa mga bata.

(If I get married, I will build a family that is complete. And

when problems arise, we will just overcome it and not be
 47

fooled by any problem that gives discouragement. If

married already, focus on the children and do not fight so
that they will not be affected. Do not let children hear it.)

Get Back Together Again

I believe, children from dysfunctional family wishes to get their parents back

together again. Zelia is one of those children who dream of having their parents back

again.

Unya kanang kung pwede lang magbalik sila mam ba

himoon nako. Unta magbalik sila mam.

(If it is still possible for them to get back together, I will do

it. I hope they get back together maam.)

Hence, Zelia stressed that if she will not be able to have them back together in

the future, she will help them in their life.

Chapter V
 48

GRATEFUL DILWYN

Dilwyn (not his real name) is the third informant in the locality from dysfunctional

family. His family ended up into dysfunctional when his father was addicted to drugs,

and was gone for months before he was put to jail. The separation of his parents

somehow gave light to their dark experiences. It changed their lives for the better when

his mother left to work for abroad and Dilwyn and his siblings were left under the care of

his stepfather.

Always fighting

Family engages into fights and quarrels because that is how relationship

works. However, in the case of Dilwyn’s parents, little fights turned into big fights that

frequently happen.

Katong wala pa nagbulag kay sige rag away di

magkasinabtanay pud. Gamay nga bikil away na, mag
sige nag away.

(When they were not yet separated, they frequently fight

and disagree with each other. They fight over small
things.)

Dilwyn shared that one of the reasons why his parents keep on fighting is

because of his father’s vice which is drugs.

Taken for granted by the Father

Dilwyn described how addicted his father to drugs that he neglected his family.

He shared how distressed they we even before the separation.

Di na mag uli-uli si papa sa balay kay sige nalang drugs

sige nalang bisyo ug babae pila to kabulan wala niuli.
Among kan-on nalang sa una kay ginamos nalang, saging
kanang cavindish nga saging mao nalang nay sud-an
namo sa una. sige nalang mig huna-huna asa naman to
 49

wala naman siguro mi amahan ani kay wala nay uli-uli

grabe jud. Sige nalang kog tan-aw ka mama ba na sige
nalag kasakitan bitaw.

(Father did not go home for many months because of drug

addiction and women. During those times, we only eat fish
sauce and the banana called cavindish was our viand. We
were thinking where was our father and if do we still have
a father since he had not been home for awhile. I always
look at my Mama who is always hurt.)

Physical fights

Dilwyn revealed one of his unforgettable experiences in the family. He

considered it as unforgettable since it gave him lesson to protect his mother at all

cost.

Katong nag-away sila tungod di pud lage mouli. Hala

sumbaganay didto, sumbaganay diri halos mabungkag
lageng balay sige rag labay sa mga gamit kay ang
hinungdan ato kay sim tapos pag-uli niya dugay kayo unya
nabasahan ang selpon daghan kaayong babae daghan
kaayog text-text. Gibuak man ni mama ang sim card didto
nilabayay sa mga gamit nga mahalon.

(They fought because father did not go home. Hitting each

other here and there which almost ruin the house because
of the things being thrown. The reason of it was the
simcard, women, messages and going home late. Mama
tore the sim card and they were throwing expensive
things.)

Dilwyn considered the experience to be the worst. He added:

Kato jud pinakaworst jud to. ligid ligid si mama ato kay
grabe jud tong panghitaboa di nako ma explain ba kay
tungod ato lage nasuko siya kay gibuak ang simcard mao
to nag sinumbaganay sila.

(That was the worst. Mama rolls onto the floor. That was
the experience that I cannot explain just because of the
simcard they hit each other.)

Being helpless
 50

Reminiscing the past, he expressed how helpless they were that he was unable

to protect his mother and siblings.

Wala pami mahimo ato kay hasta pa namong gagmaya unya

akong magulang babae walay mahimo kung mo adto didtoa
sumbagon man, wala jud syay kadul-an.

(We were not able to do anything that time because we were

still little and my older sister were helpless because she will
be hit if she gets near.)

Financially Struggling

When Dilwyn’s father left after the trouble, they were so down that they had to owe

money and work in order to provide their daily needs

Nilakaw sya pila ka bulan mao to nagpait jud mi utang didto

utang diri pabaga lang bisan unsay trabaho para mabuhi lang.

(He left after few months that is why we experienced to borrow

money here and there. We did any work just to survive and
live.)

To have a Stepfather

Dilwyn disclosed that short after the separation of his parents her mother met a new

guy and live together with them. He was very grateful having a new father.

Makasinabtanay gyud unya gidawat pud ko, gidawat mi nila na

anak ug gihigugma pud ug gihigugma pud namo siya na usa
ka amahan kay sya naman nagbuhi sa amoa. Siya jud nagsalo
sa amoa ba sya jud nagbuhi, sila duha ni mama. Si mama pud
naningkamot para sa amoa, sya pud naningkamot para sa
amoa.

(Understands each one and he accepted me, they accepted us

as children and loved us and in return, we love him as a father
since he was the one who supports us. He assumed the
responsibility in providing our needs, both mama and him.
Mama strives hard for us and he does the same thing for us.)

Making Adjustments
 51

Dilwyn was grateful having a new father thinking that the stepfather would be the

father he long to have ideally. But every person ought to make adjustments in order for him

to get used to the situation. Dilwyn narrated their adjustments.

Ang kalisod pud ato kay mao lage bag-ohan pa sa among

amahan nga stepfather wala pa nailhan ang mga batasan bale
sige pa syag inom-inom sa una. Ang kalisod ato katong nag-
inom sya hubog gyud kayo unya wala sya ato sa iyang
pangisip ba nga nagkuha jud syag sundang na lagaraw.

(The difficult part was when stepfather was new to us and

behaviors were not yet known and he used to drink. It was
difficult when he was really drunk then he was out of his right
mind that he got a dagger.)

He also described his realization during that time. He said:

Bale wala pa gyud kasabot pa ba ana siguro to akong nakita

sa iyaha. didto nako nakuan na maypag wala siguro koy
amahan murag nadoble bitaw ang sakit ang kalisod kay wala
pa nagkasinabtanay. kay sauna wala pa sya kasabot sa
batasan sa akong mama sa amoa in-ana diay mi, ug wala pud
namo sya nasabtan bale wala jud nagsinabtanay.

(Probably he had not yet understood the situation. That was

when I thought to myself that maybe it was better to have no
father because it doubled the pain and difficulty because of
misunderstanding. Because before, he had not yet understood
the attitude of my Mama, our attitude and we also did not
understand his. It was really a misunderstanding.)

Affecting School Performance

The familial status of Dilwyn has disturbed his performance in school. The

emotional baggage he bears has affected him.

Kanang walay gana sa pag-eskwela akong ate pud walay

gana bale sige nalang ug absent. Ako present ko permi sa
skwelahan pero sa attendance wala kay perminte cutting.
Abi nalang sa akong mama ba nga present perminte pero sa
attendance diay wala kay dili mosulod. Sige rag lag-laag kay
mao lage walay gana. kanang walay gyuy gana gyud na
 52

kuan jud nako to na wala man siguro koy ginikanan ani kay
wala may moattend. Mao to sige rag cutting sige rag laroy-
laroy.

(Loss of interest in studies and my older sister also who was

always absent. I was always present in the school but not in
the class attendance because I always go cutting classes.
My mama thought that I was present at school but actually
not because I do not attend class. I wandered around
because of loss of interest. I really lost interest because I felt
that I do not have parents since no one attends in my school
affairs. That is why I go cutting classes and wander around.)

No Parents to Attend School Affairs

Being separated and having a dysfunctional family, Dilwyn’s parents have not

prioritized attending school affairs which is essential in his development stage.

Ug moabot ang Family Day walay ika attend kay wala ang
papa wala pud si mama kay trabaho ang giuna, pangwarta
kay unsaon nalang kung walay kwarta di gyud mi mabuhi.

(When family day comes, no one attends because Papa is

not around and Mama has work which comes first to earn
money because if we do not have money, we will not be able
to live.)

Dilwyn also shared how envious he was of others who have parents to attend

school stuff.

Suya kaayo ko sa uban kay proud kayo ilang mama proud

kayo sa ilang anak. Kato si mama ni-attend lang to si mama
kay wala kaayo toy trabahoon sa graduation diri. may gane
kay wala ko nag graduation didto sa gensan kay di jud to
moattend kay mao lage trabaho ang giuna.

(I get jealous with others because their mothers are very

proud of them. Mama attended my graduation here before
because she does not have much work. If I had my
graduation in Gensan, probably Mama would not attend my
graduation because work is the priority.)

Traumatized
 53

After going through a lot of fights from his father up to his stepfather, Dilwyn

shared that he has been traumatized that made him anxious all the time.

Murag naratol bitaw kay kung mag gunit na syag lagaraw

maguol name. Sa pag-skwela gane o makurat-kuratan pud
ko kay abi nakog siya tong naa sa likod dili man diay murag
na-trauma bitaw. Kahilak lage ko sa una kay mogunit na
syag sundang mohilak rakog kalit didto sa kilid mokalit lang
ug dagan kay na-trauma.

(I looked anxious because if he hold a dagger we become

worried. At school I become uneasy as I thought it was him
behind me which was not and it seemed like I was
traumatized. Before, when he holds a dagger I suddenly cry
in the corner and ran away because I was traumatized.)

Stimulating Positivity

As a way of being grateful, he chose to embrace the circumstance and opt to be

optimistic.

Pinaagi lang pud sa pagbinuotan, pag bag-o sa batasan, sa

pag higugmaay ug pag respeto kay kung wala jud na di jud
magkasinabot broken napud.

(Through being kind, changing attitude, loving and

respecting each other because if these are not present,
there will be misunderstandings and become broken again.)

Understanding the Situation

Instead of complaining when misunderstanding occurs, Dilwyn opt to understand

the situation and just make necessary adjustments in order to avoid arguments.

Magsabotay nalang mi ni mama nga sabton nalang nato siya

ma kay saon taman naa naman. Lisod kayo ug byaan pud ni
mama to masakitan pud si mama kay naa man syay anak
didto sa step nako. Bale adjust gamay ba kay ug magbulag
napud asa napud mi paingon ani? kinsa napuy mosalo?
Adjust lang gyud gamay kay unsaon taman lisod kaayo
kinabuhi karon labi nag walay kwarta. Kita nalang mo adjust
kay naa naman kanang sabton nalang nato siya in-ana.
 54

(We just agree with mama to understand him. It will be hard

if Mama will leave him because she already has a child with
my stepfather. Make little adjustments because if they will
separate, where will we go? Who will accept us? Just make
adjustments because nowadays life is hard especially if you
do not have money. Let’s just make adjustments because it
is already there and just undersand him.)

Family is very important

After all the hardships Dilwyn went through, he stressed the importance of family.

Importante kayo jud ang pamilya kay mao rapuy motabang

sa imoha sa kalisod kay ug wala gyuy pamilya asa kaha mi
paingon karon basin nangaunsa name palaboy na guro.
Importante gyud kaayo ang pamilya kay kung mabungkag
jud na kay wala na kanya kanya nang tanan

(Family is really important maam because they are the ones

who will help you in your hard times. If we have no family I
do not know where we are going now maybe we are now in
the streets. Family is really important because if it will be
broken everybody will have its separate ways.)

Do good in Studies

The desire to overcome Dilwyn’s adversity drives him to excel in his studies in

order to develop his future and achieve the goals he has set for himself.

Narealize pud nako na maningkamot ug skwela.

Kinahanglan jud moskwela kay para sa kaugmaon para sa
pamilya ug para pud sa sunod nako nga pamilya. Kay kung
wala jud na, kung mobigay ka, wala gyud labaw nanang
magpamilya ka. Unya unsaon imong pamilya sa una kung
magkalisod bale wa kay ika hatag, unya magkalisod napud
ang bagong pamilya wala napuy ikahatag kay mao lage
mobigay nag skwela.

(I realized to study hard. It is needed to study for the future,

for my family and for my future family. Because if you will not
and just surrender, nothing will happen especially if you are
already a family man. When life gets hard you have nothing
to give to your family and your own family because you
surrender in your studies.)
 55

Dilwyn also shared that he believed education can give him a good life.

Akong nakuan karon moskwela gyud dili gyud nang

magbigay-bigay kay ang edukasyon raman makapa trabaho
sa imoha bale makahatag ug maayong kinabuhi.

(I realized now to really study and never surrender because

education can give you a job and a good life.)

To finish studies

One of Dilwyn’s plans is to finish his studies in order to improve the situation of

his family especially in the financial aspect.

Akong plano kay skwela gyud kog tarong. Mokuha ug maayo

nga kurso, moskwela jud bahalag manarbaho. Wala man
makuanan na kwarta, kay mag working student lang. Mao
jud na akong pangandoy na makahuman jud ug skwela para
makuan ang pamilya ma improve.

(My plan is to do well in my studies. Get a good course and

study even if I work at the same time. If there is no money to
sustain my studies, I will be a working student. That is my
dream to finish my studies to improve my family.)

To give back

Dilwyn sees the effort and hard work of her mother working abroad that is why he

wishes to return the love, care and support of his mother in the future.

Palangga jud kaayo mi sauna ni mama hantod karon sya jud

nagbuhi namo halos mobigay najud siya pero wa jud sya
nibigay kay para sa among skwela maong maningkamot mig
skwela para makabalos pud mi sa iyaha. Dili pud ka
motarong ug skwela unsaon nalang iyang kahago sa una
kumpara lang sa amoa nga wala gyud. Mao nang
maningkamot jud ug skwela mao jud nang pangandoy nako
para makabalos pud ming mama.

(Mama really loves us since before until now. She provides

our needs and she never surrender for our studies that is
why we will do better in our studies so that we can give back
to her. If we will not do well in studies, how about her
hardships compared to us who have none? That is why we
 56

have to do well in studies that is really my dream in order for

us to give back to Mama.)

Not to repeat history

He expressed his aspiration of not following the path of his parents. He wants to

have a family that would never experience what he had gone through in life towards

dysfunctional family.

Sa sunod gusto nako nga malahi dili kaparehas sa una ba.

Gusto nako dili na mahitabo sa akong future kay di pud ko
gusto masakitan pud sila. Gusto jud nako nga malipayon jud
ang pamilya walay kasakit. Hinuon natural manang kasakit
pud para malig-on naka sunod ba.

(I want to have a different experience next time. I do not

want it to happen again in my future because I do not want
them to get hurt. I want the family to be happy and have no
pain. Well, it is normal to have pain in order to be strong.)

Chapter VI

ENTHUSIASTIC LIAM

Liam (not his real name) is the fourth informant in the secondary education who

belongs to a dysfunctional family. Liam is currently living under the care of her grandmother
 57

because his parents went together to another place to search for a job but ended up

separating. That was the last time he saw his father.

Wander around and Bond

Liam in an interview described his family before they transferred to his current

location away from the NCR. He said:

Malipayon mag lag-laag, mag suroy-suroy. Mga bonding-

bonding katong didto pami nagpuyo sa Manila.

(We were happy as we wander and roam around. The bonding

moments when we were still living in Manila.)

Liam’s Family was affected by a typhoon in the NCR and went home to his mother’s

hometown to start anew. However, his parents decided to go back to NCR to search a job.

Quarreling

Every relationship is not perfect there will be fight and argument. Liam shared that

his parents went to same scenario.

Usahay kanang naay gubot. Mag-away-away pero mao ra

gihapon mag-ayo.

(Sometimes there are troubles. They fight but they make it up

after.)

Family bonding

Reminiscing memories either make you or break you. In the case of Liam, he

chooses to reminisce moments when they happily spend time together as a family.

Magsabay mig kaon. Mag laag-laag, family bonding. Mao na

akong di kalimtan. Katong malipayon kay mao raman wala nay
lain, mao ra to akong ganahan.

(Eating together, wandering, and family bonding. Those were

unforgettable for me. Those happy moments because there is
nothing else and those are the only things I like.)
 58

Envious of others having complete family

Along others that experience the unpleasant effects of the troubles that a

dysfunctional family entails, Liam bears jealousy to individuals around him with complete

family.

Kanang graduation masuya ko kay wala koy papa kauban, dili

kumpleto. Pag graduate nakog grade 6 wala pud akong mama.

(During graduation I get jealous because I do not have a father

with me, we were incomplete. When I graduated grade 6, my
mother was also not around.)

Feeling of solitude

Liam expressed how he was feeling when the reality of being in a dysfunctional

family starts to attack him.

Gagmay pa mi, walay muatiman. Wala nakoy papa. Unya

mama nalang akong gihuna-huna. Mag sigeg hilak.

(We were still little and no one would take care of us. I no
longer have a father and mama is the only one I think of. I
always cry.)

Anxious

The things that happened in the past disturb Liam sometimes that affects his

outlook in life.

Naglibog ko ba kung motrabaho ba ko o dili. Di ko

mahimutang mag sige kog huna-huna. Mahuna-hunaan man
gud nako ma guol ko, di ko ganahan mag lihok-lihok.
Mawad-an ko ug gana. Usahay di ko motingog ka lola sige
man kog hilak magabii gud. Maghunahuna ko na kung
mawala si mama simbako kinsa kahay moatiman namo.

(I was thinking either I will work or not. I was feeling uneasy

thinking about things. I get sad whenever I think of it that is
why I do not feel like doing anything. I lose interest.
Sometimes, I stay silent and do not talk to my grandmother
 59

because I always cry at night. I worry as to who will take

care of us if mama will be gone.)

No Communication from the Father

Communication is one of the issues by the people from dysfunctional family.

Liam has lost communication and not given any attention by his father.

Pito nagud ka tuig wala na ko gina-contact si papa kay inig

mo-chat ko sa iyaha ang iyang kabit moreply ba, ako
nalang gi block. Tawag ko kaisa nangumusta ko mao ra
to’y last nangumusta ko sa akong amahan. Dugay na to.

(It has been seven years since I no longer contacted papa

because whenever I chat him, his mistress is the one who
replies that is why I blocked him. I called him only once to
ask how he was doing and that was the last time I checked
up on him. That was long time ago.)

Being Bullied

Liam has experienced the same thing with Zelia towards bullying. He stated:

Naay mosamok bitaw bangga-banggaan ko. Pag nay

manghinaway sa ako “Tagam byaan ug mama’g papa”
ana-anaan ko. Unayon rapud ko sa akong ig agaw bisan
unsay isulti masakitan pud ko kay kabalo man jud ko
unsay gitrabaho sa akong inahan didto

(When someone is annoying and bumping me. Also,

teasing me “You deserve to be left by your mother and
father” saying things like that. My cousin bullied me by
saying many things and I get hurt because I know what my
mother does there.)

Lost interest towards studies

Adapting to his new familial status, Liam’s lost interest in school.

Pag grade 6 sa una way gana.

(When I was in grade 6 before, I was uninterested to

studies.)

No one extend help in studies

 60

Liam stressed out the hard time he had in doing school activities without the

help from his parents.

Kuan naay mga answeranan ba lisod unya way motabang.

Sa grade 5 sauna lage ko lisod kaayo ba.

(If there are assignments that are difficult, then no one is

around to help me. When I was in grade 5, it was so hard.)

To Control Oneself

Emotional and mental disturbance due to the challenges brought by parents’

separation has been experiencing by individuals like Liam. However, Liam shared

his insight how he overcome it and chose to see the brighter side of life.

Usahay ma control man nako maam. Usahay di ko

ganahan usahay Ganado pud kaayo mosulat ana mga
answeranan, maapektohan ko kung sige nakog
hunahunaon pero usahay mag garagara nalang ko para
makalimtan nako ba.

(Sometimes I can control my emotions. Sometimes, I do

not feel like writing and answering my assignments, I
become affected if I think about it too much however,
sometimes I just crack jokes for me to forget it.)

Affecting School Performance

Being in a negative situation, it is unavoidable to bear negative thoughts that

disrupt performance in school. Liam sad:

Di nako kasulat gane ug mga sulatonon. Di ko ka-answer

sa mga assignment, mga project.

(I could not do any written tasks. I could not answer the

assignments and could not do projects.)

Socializing with friends and siblings

There are many ways in coping challenges in life but Liam shared how he

manages to cope with the situation he is now in.

 61

Pangkalimtan nalang nako, garagara nalang ko sa akong

igsoon. Usahay dula ug billiard, hantod karun, nawala
naman. Usahay pud mga barkada pud nako mag shotshot
rami gamay.

(I just chose to forget and just joke around with my

siblings. Sometimes, I play billiard. The pain vanishes until
now. Sometimes we drink together with my friends.)

Make the Mother as an Inspiration

Liam chooses to see the positive side of life in spite of the circumstances. In

order for him not to be dragged down by his situation he opted to use her mother as

his inspiration.

Kadugayan makalimtan ra. Mawala rapud kay akong

mama ragyud ang akong inspirasyon. Mama ra gyud nako
akong ginahunahuna gyud.

(Eventually, it will be [Link] pain vanishes because

my mother is my only inspiration. I only think of my mama.)

Being Grateful

In order to be happy and satisfied amidst adversities in life, count the things

you have not the things you do not have. This is how Liam cope with his problems

relating to dysfunctional family.

Pasalamat pud ko kay lola kay giatiman gyud mi niya.

(I also thank my grandmother because she took care of

us.)

Working

Many aspect of Liam’s life has been affected having dysfunctional family.
Financially, Liam and his family are struggling. To extend help the least way Liam
can, he work sometimes.
Mag trabaho ko maam.

(I will work maam.)

 62

Motivating oneself

Liam conveyed that instead of letting circumstance that affects him and his

studies to drag him down, he motivates himself to rise from it.

Sige rakog ingon sa akong kaugalingon nga mohuman

gyud kog eskwela kay sayang pud ang kahago sa akong
inahan gud gipaeskwela baya tag tarong.

(I just keep on telling myself to finish studies so that the

hardships of my mother will not be put to waste in sending
us to school.)

Appreciating the Hard work of Mother and Grandmother

Liam’s situation does not hinder him to express his appreciation towards his

mother and grandmother in raising and taking care of him and his siblings. He

narrated:

Akong mama ra gyud akong inspirasyon. Karun sige

raman mig tawag tawag ni mama. Wala gne sya nagminyo
ug usab kay para daw namo mao ganeng nagbag-o nako
dili nako mag sigeg panghilabot sa mga manghod nako.
Dako pud akong pasalamat kay lola kay pila ka tuig gud
inatimanay niya sa amoa.

(My mother is my only inspiration. We always talk in a call

these days. She did not even remarry because of us that
is why I changed myself for the better. I no longer meddle
and mess with my younger siblings. Also, I really thank my
grandmother for taking care of us for how many years.)

To do well in studies

Liam shared his insight on the situation he has. He stressed out the importance

of doing well in studies.

Na realize nako nga magtarong kog skwela arun

makahuman ko maktabang nako sa akong pamilya.
 63

(I realized to do better in studies in order to finish studies

and help my family.)

To change for the better

Liam in an interview revealed that he is currently changing for the better because

he realized that doing bad things does not help and solve his situation.

Dapat mag bag-o kay sauna bugoy kaayo ko makahimog

dautan. Sige pangitag away bisan kinsa ray awayon.
Moabsent sa klase bisan walay hinungdan. Sakit ra sa ulo
gihatag ila lola maong mag-bag-o nagyud.

(I should change because I was very troublesome before

and committed bad things. I always look for trouble and
mess with anyone. Absent from the class for no valid reason.
Gives only headache to my grandmother that is why I should
change.)

To give back

Liam expressed her appreciation to her mother’s effort of providing for their

needs that is why he plans to give back to her in the future.

Kung makahuman nakog skwela gusto nako ako napud

motrabaho, si mama napud pahuway. Unya akong mga
manghod pahumanon nako silag eskwela ako napud
paeskwela sa ilaha.

(If I finish my studies, I want to be the one to work instead

and mama will just rest. I will send my siblings to school and
be the one to finance their studies.)

To become a Policeman and have own family

Coming from a dysfunctional family, Liam wants to not experience the same thing

in the future. He has plans on reaching his dreams which includes building his own

family.
 64

Gusto nako maging pulis ug naa nakoy sariling pamilya

gusto nako makahuman jud ug skwela akong anak ug gusto
nako ang akong naagian dili nila maagian. Kung unsa
kalisod akong naagian dili nila maagian.

(I want to become a policeman and if I will have my own

family, I want my child to finish studies and not to experience
what I had gone through. They will not experience whatever
difficulty I experienced.)

Parents to get back together

Liam shared his desire of wanting his parents to get back together.

Akong plano nga unta magbalik sila pero ambot lang ug naa
bay chance na magbalik sila. Gusto unta nako magbalik sila
kay dili nako gusto magminyo ug usab si mama. Unya lain
man gud nang naa napud kay laing amahan ba kay basin dili
maayong amahan ba puro ra dautan.

(My plan is for them to get back together but I do not think if
there is a chance. I want them to get back together because
I do not want Mama to remarry nd I do not like to have
another father because he might not be a good father who is
full of badness.)

Chapter VII

LOVING SON LEV

 65

The fifth informant whom we could call Lev (not his real name) is one of the

secondary students in the locality who come from dysfunctional family. Lev did not leave

his father when his parents separate. Lev opted to stay and take care of his father even

his mother wanted to bring him. This circumstance has led to Lev’s difficulties at home

and at school.

Happy

Lev described his family before the separation.

Lipay kaayo mi. Malipayon mi sa balay unya makauban ang

tibuok pamilya labi na kung kuan inag tingkaon.

(We were so happy. We were happy in the house. The

whole family were together especially during meal time.)

Quarreling

There will always be misunderstandings in a relationship. Lev briefly shared:

Usahay mag-away dili magkasinabot sila.

(Sometimes they fight and do not agree with each other.)

Doing Things together as a Family

Lev shared how they spend their family time together. It is one of the good

memorable experiences he kept.

Magdungan ug kaon ug mag dungan sad ug simba.

(Eating and going to church together.)

Fights and Arguments among the Family

 66

Separation of family started off with fights and arguments until happy family

becomes dysfunctional. In my interview with Lev, he described the scenario the day his

mother and his siblings left them.

Mag away-away si mama ug papa ug ako. Akong giingnan si

mama nga ayaw na pakita ug Magangit.

(Mama, Papa and I were fighting. I told Mama not to show

up in Magangit.)

Being Left Behind

It is always the feeling of loneliness when family separate. He shared that the

turn of events has made him feel being left out.

Unya akong mga manghod apil akong ate nikuyog man ka

mama unya ang nabilin ra sa amoa ako ra ug si papa. Unya
mingaw kaayo kay kami ra duha, wala si mama, walay
moatiman, walay mobantay.

(My younger siblings and my older sister left together with

my mother then only Papa and I are the ones left. It was so
lonely since there were only two of us. Mama is not around.
No one will take care.)

Lack of Money

When Lev’s mother and siblings left, he and his father has been struggling

financially for his father has no stable job. It is one of the challenges at home

considered by Lev in the interview I conducted.

Walay kwarta ipalit ug sud-an. Kining pobre ta lisod kaayo

kay walay kwarta walay ikapalit ug bugas ug mga gamit sa
panimalay.

(No money to buy food. Being poor is so hard because we

have no money to buy rice and things at home.)

Lost interest for studies

 67

The turn of events has left Lev no longer interested in his studies.

Dili ko moeskwela kay bulag man gud ang pamilya, wala koy
gana.

(I do not go to school because my family is broken, and I do

not have interest.)

Being bullied

Just like the previous informants, Lev experienced bullying in school.

Sungog-sungogon ko sa akong mga classmate moana sila

nga “nge gibyaan ug inahan”.

(My classmates bully me they say “ew his mother left him”.)

Used the Discouragement as a Motivation

Lev revealed how he chose to see the positive in the negative. He takes the

discouragement as a motivation.

Naa jud panahon nga kanang dili ko ganahan moskwela kay

ila kong sungogon, ilaha kong bullyhon. Pero bisan sungogon
ko nila maam kay moskwela man gihapon ko maam kay gusto
man ko makahuman ug skwela.

(There are really times that I do not feel like going to school
because they bully me. However, even if they bully me maam I
still go to school because I want to finish my studies.)

Helps at work

In dealing with the demands of life, Lev shared how he and his father managed to

deal with it especially in the financial aspect.

Motabang-tabang lang ko ka papa ug trabaho para naay

dugang gasto sa pag-eskwela ug pagkaon.

(I help Papa in his work in order to have additional money for

studies and food.)

Asked them to stop

 68

Bullying has been one of the challenges experienced by Lev at school.

However, it does not stop him from coming to school. He asked them to stop what

they were doing. He said that:

Gistoryahan lang nako akong mga classmate nga

nangaway nga dili ko sungogon.

(I just talked to my classmates not to bully me.)

Fight Back

When the bullies ignore his plea, Lev considered fighting back the bullies

Pero usahay ug mapuno nako kay mobalos ko sa ilaha.

Ako silang patulan mag sinumbagay mi, mosukol ko, unya
di ko magmahay nga mag sinumbagay mi bisan nasakitan
ko kay sya man nag-una-una unya kung pasagdan man
kay mogara.

(But sometimes if I ran out of patience, I take revenge. I

fight them back and we hit each other. I do not regret even
if I got hurt because he was the one who started it.)

Difficult to belong in a Dysfunctional Family

Lev expressed his insight towards dysfunctional family. Just like any other

people from the said familial status, they are having a hard time to get used to the

circumstance. He said:

Lisod kaayo kung walay pamilya dili mo magkauban, dili

mo katarong ug kaon kay bulag bulag ang pamilya unya
sa pagtulog dili nimo kauban imong pamilya.

(It is very difficult if your family is broken. You cannot eat

well because the family is broken and when you sleep you
do not have your family around.)

To finish studies
 69

Lev sees the importance of education that is why he plans to finishing his

studies.

Nangandoy jud ko makahuman maam.

(I really dream of finishing studies maam.)

To become a driver

Lev has dreamed to wander in the future and he wanted to pursue it by becoming

a driver. It might be a simple dream but meaningful to him.

Driver. gusto nako mahimong driver sa sakyanan. Sakyanan

sa akong trabahoan arun maka suroy suroy ko.

(Driver, I want to become a vehicle driver. Vehicle of my

employer so that I can travel.)

Chapter VIII
 70

FINDINGS

This chapter presents the results of the research questions that explored the

experiences of secondary students from dysfunctional families. The various experiences

of these students were disclosed through in-depth interview, the research informants

were selected through purposive sampling based on the uniqueness of their stories. In

keeping with the research ethics of qualitative research, codes have been used in order

to conceal the identities of the research informants or participants. The presentation of

the result was done according to the order of the specific research question used in this

study.

What experiences did the informants have in the separation of their parents?

In this section, the findings of the first major research question “What

Experiences did the Informants have in the Separation of their Parents?” The responses

were presented in verbatim; that is, transcribing them based on the language of the

participants used during the interview. Conforming to the research ethics, the identities

of students had been concealed to ensure protection regarding to their privacy.

State of Family before Separation

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question.

There are five (5) themes that were drawn out from the question, “How would you

describe your family before the separation of your parents?” These are: blissful, chaotic,

complete, quarreling, and does family bonding.

Blissful. The informants picture their family as blissful spending quality time

together. It is one of the good memories they will never forget as a complete happy
 71

family. Majority of the informants revealed that they see their family having blissful

moments before it ended up to their parents’ separation which mainly affects them as

their children.

Ethan said:

Mas okay jud kung kumpleto ang kuan ang pamilya maam.

(It is better to have a complete family maam)

Zelia added:

Lahi ra kayo sa una kay lipay kaayo mi unya way problema.

(It is really different before because we were so happy and
we do not have any problem.)
Liam and Lev shared:

Malipayon mi sa balay.
(We are happy at home)

Quarreling. In every family relationship, there are always fights and

disagreements that turns into arguments. It is just a matter of dealing with it in a proper

way. Before the marital dissolution of the informants’ parents, they witness how their

parents quarrel but at the end of the day, there was reconciliation that happened.

Liam and Lev said:

Usahay kanang naay gubot, mag-away-away pero mao ra

gihapon mag-ayo.

(Sometimes, there are troubles. They fight but they make it

up after.)

Complete. The Informants feel incomplete being dragged into the negative

situation they are in. They long the presence of their family, who was once complete.

These students describe their family as complete especially during meal time before the

strike of parents’ separation.

 72

Zelia shared:

Kumpleto bitaw kaayo kanang karon kay gusto ka magkuyog

sila kay dili na pwede.

(Complete but now that you want them to be together, it is no

longer possible.)

Lev added:

Kauban ang tibuok pamilya labi na kung tingkaon.

(The family is together especially during meals.)

Does Family Bonding. spending leisure time is how Liam describe his family

before his current familial status. He said:

Malipayon mag lag-laag, mag suroy-suroy. Mga bonding-

bonding katong didto pami nagpuyo sa Manila

(We were happy as we wander and roam around. The

bonding moments when we were still living in Manila.)

Chaotic. A separation was transpired because of father’s negligence of

responsibility among the family; vices that caused fights in terms of verbal and physical

between parents. As a result, the family suffered chaos and problematic. Dilwyn

narrated:

Di na mag uli-uli si papa sa balay kay sige nalang drugs sige

nalang bisyo ug babae pila to kabulan wala niuli. Among
kan-on nalang sa una kay ginamos nalang, kanang
cavindish nga saging mao nalang nay sud-an namo sa una.
sige nalang mig huna-huna asa naman to wala naman
siguro mi amahan ani kay wala nay uli-uli grabe jud. Sige
nalang kog tan-aw ka mama ba na sige nalag kasakitan
bitaw.

(Father did not go home for how many months because of

drug addiction and women. During those times, we only eat
fish sauce and the banana called cavindish was our only
viand. We were thinking where was our father and if do we
 73

still have a father since he had not been home for awhile. I
always look at my Mama who was always hurting.)

Unforgettable Experiences in the Family before and during the Separation of

Parents

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question “.

There are six (6) themes that were drawn out from the question, “What are your

unforgettable experiences in the family before and during the separation of your

parents?” These are: family bonding, having meal together, to be given support,

fighting, praying together, and feeling of sadness and loneliness.

Family Bonding. As a saying goes, “good times come and go but the memories

will last forever” It depicts that good memories keep us going in life. The study revealed

that most of the informants shared the same response considering family bonding as

their unforgettable memories in the family.

Ethan said:

Bata paman ko nagbulag akong papa ug mama.

Naexperience jud nako na happy kayo naa akong papa ilaag
laag mi niya sa mall kung asa among gusto palitan mi unsay
gusto.

(I was still young when my father and mother separated. I

experienced being so happy having my father to bring us to
the mall and to any place where we want to go and buy
anything we want.)

Zelia followed:

Nag bonding bonding mi, suroy suroy. Sa kwarto bitaw mag

ginitikay unya kanang magkanta kanta pud usahay.

(We bonded and wander around then in the bedroom we

cuddle and we sing along together sometimes.)

Liam also said:

 74

Magsabay mig kaon. Mag laag-laag, family bonding. Mao na

akong di kalimtan. Katong malipayon kay mao raman wala
nay lain, mao ra to akong ganahan.

(Eating together, wandering, and family bonding. Those

were unforgettable for me. Those happy moments because
there’s nothing else and those are the only things I like.)

Having Meal Together. Family meals give an opportunity for family members to

come together, strengthen connections and create better relationships. They build a

sense of belongingness which prompts to better self-esteem. Eating together with the

family reminisced by the informants as they shared their life experiences.

Zelia said:

Happy unya mag istorya-istorya sa kan-anan mag kataw-

katawa.

(Happy while having conversation in the dining and

laughing.)

Liam and Lev shared the same thought:

Magsabay mig kaon nila kauban ako mga igsoon

(Eating together with my siblings.)

To be Given Support. When parents separate, they find a hard time to parent

their children. Dysfunctional family usually suffers in terms of financial matters. The

informant I have dealt with shared the unforgettable experience in his life before his

current familial status that was having his father to support him/them financially.

Ethan confided:

Naa mi kanang papa nga maduolan kung unsay gusto namo

pos karon wa koy papa unsay gusto nako akong
maningkamot man ko para maabot nako.

(We have a father whom we can turn to then now that I do

not have a papa, whatever I like I have to work for it.)
 75

Fighting. Marital separation transpired from fights--verbal or physical. These

fights affect the well-being of the parents and also the children to the extent that it

marked as their unforgettable experience in the family. Dilwyn narrated:

Katong nag-away sila tungod atong di pud lage mouli..hala

sumbaganay didto sumbaganay diri halos mabungkag
lageng balay lage sa sige rag labay sa mga gamit kay ang
hinungdan ato kay sim pud, ug gamay ra lageng bikil lage
kay mao lage to babae pud text text pos pag-uli niya dugay
kayo. Unya nabasahan ang selpon tuara daghan kaayong
babae daghan kaayog text text Gibuak man ni mama ang
sim card didto nilabayay sa mga gamit nga mahalon, hala
nilabayay sa mga gamit…ligid ligid si mama ato. Grabe jud
tong panghitaboa to di nako ma explain ba kay tungod lage
nasuko siya kay gibuak ang simcard mao to nag
sinumbaganay sila.

(They fought because father did not go home. Hitting here

and there which almost ruin the house because of the things
being thrown. The reason of it was the simcard, women,
messages and going home late. Mama tore the sim card and
they were throwing expensive things. That was the worst.
Mama roll onto the floor. That was the experience that I
cannot explain just because of the simcard they hit each
other.)

Lev added:

Mag away-away si mama ug papa ug ako. Akong giingnan si

mama nga ayaw na pakita ug Magangit.

(Mama fought over Papa and I. I told mama not to show up

in Magangit.)

Praying Together. As the saying goes, “Family that prays together, stays

together” turn in a different view as to the responses of the informants I have

interviewed. Praying together as a family left a big mark on their hearts, however it does

not guarantee a complete family in the long run because of circumstances.

Zelia said:
 76

Dungan ug kanang ampo bago tulog.

(Praying together before sleep.)

Lev also said:

Mag dungan ug samba.

(Going to church together.)

Feeling of Sadness and loneliness. People dealing from dysfunctional family

might have a hard time adapting to it. Dealing with the new familial status each day

leaves these people with sadness and loneliness. Most of the informants revealed the

same sentiments.

Ethan said:

Kanang guol kay wala naman imong mama ug papa. Miss

nimo ang panahon nga naa sila. Di naman pwede mautro to
kay naa naman syay pamilya.

(You are so sad because your parents separated. You miss

the times when they are around together but there is no
chance now because he has his new family.)

Zelia also shared the same feeling. However, she stressed:

Kanang mingaw kaayo. kanang magpangita bitaw ka. Naay

kulang sa imong kaugalingon.

(Very lonely. You are looking for something. Something is

lacking in you.)

Having to deal with the situation, Liam expressed:

Walay muatiman, wala nakoy papa. Mama nalang akong

gihuna-huna. Mag sigeg hilak.

(No one will take care, I no longer have a father. Mama is

the only one I think of. I always cry.)

Lev echoed the same thoughts:

 77

Akong mga manghod nikuyog man ka mama apil akong ate

unya ang nabilin ra sa amoa ako ra ug si papa. Mingaw
kaayo kay kami ra duha, wala si mama, walay moatiman,
walay mobantay.

(My younger siblings left with my mother together with my

older sister only Papa and I are the ones left. It was so lonely
since there are only two of us. Mama is not around. No one
will take care of me.)

What were the challenges encountered by the informants after the separation of
their parents?

In this section, the findings of the second major research question “What were

the challenges encountered by the informants after the separation of their parents?” The

responses were presented in verbatim; that is, transcribing them based on the language

of the participants used during the interview. Conforming to the research ethics, the

identities of students had been concealed to ensure protection regarding to their

privacy.

Challenges Encountered at Home after Parents Separation

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question “.

There are seven (7) themes that were drawn out from the question, “What challenges

did you encounter at home after the separation of your parents?” These are: feeling of

sadness and loneliness, providing the daily needs, was blamed for the separation, less

attention from the parent, chaotic, adjustment period, and feeling anxious.

Feeling of Sadness and Loneliness. in the interview I have conducted, one of

the challenges considered by the informants after the separation of their parents is

dealing with the sadness and loneliness brought with it.

Ethan expressed his feelings of not having his father around. He said:
 78

Kuan jud sya maam lahi rajud sya kung naa kay papa kay
naa kay malambing nga papa nay mag kuan sa imoha mag
lambing lambing.

(It is really different ma’am if you have a father you have

someone to cuddle with.)

Liam shared the same sentiment by revealing how his emotions

affected him in many ways.

Naglibog ko ba kung motrabaho ba ko o dili. Di ko

mahimutang mag sige kog huna-huna. Mahuna-hunaan man
gud nako, ma guol ko, di ko ganahan mag lihok-lihok.
Mawad-an ko ug gana. Usahay di ko motingog ka lola sige
man kog hilak magabii gud. Maghunahuna ko na kung
mawala si mama simbako, kinsa kahay moatiman namo.

(I was thinking either I will work or not. I was feeling uneasy

thinking about things. I get sad whenever I think of it that is
why I do not feel like doing anything. I lose interest.
Sometimes, I stay silent and do not talk to my grandmother
because I always cry at night. I worry as to who will take
care of us if mama will be gone.)

Providing the Daily Needs. As the family find ways to adjust with the new family

set-up brought about by the negative situation, most of the informants in the interview

conveyed that one of the difficulties they experienced is about their daily needs.

Ethan conveyed:

Maningkamot. ako lang mang mama wala naman sya,

kaatubang lisod jud sya maam.

(Just strive. Mama is the only one who raises and supports
us she has no one to help her.)

In addition, Zelia and Lev shared the same experience:

Katong kami nalang dihaa kay mag lisod mig pangita ug

kaning sud-an. Usahay sa isa ka adlaw kay kaisa rami
makakaon.
 79

(When we were the ones left, we had difficulty looking for

food. Sometimes we only eat once a day.)

Was blamed for the Separation. There could be many underlying reasons why

couples separate and some could not just accept the reason why. As revealed by the

informant, her father blamed her as the cause of her mother’s infidelity that eventually

turned to separation of her parents. She narrated:

Napansin nako katong naa ko sa panabo lahi ra kaayo sya.

Naa bitaw toy kaisa cellphone nako gilamba ra niyag kalit
bag-ong pinalit kay ako daw hinungdan nagminyo si mama
kay ako daw nagaingon nga pagminyo na ma kay wala
natay sud-an sa balay.

(I noticed when I was in Panabo he was so different. There

was a time when Papa threw my phone that was newly
purchased and said that I was the reason why Mama looked
for another man because I was the one who kept on telling
her to look for another man because we no longer have
food.)

Less Attention from the Parent. Every child seeks attention from parents.

Children from dysfunctional family longs for attention from their parents just like the

informants in the interview I have done.

Zelia revealed:

Si mama kay murag nalahi gyud gane siya kay matunga

iyang atensyon. Gusto nako ba maglambingay mi abot niya
sa trabahoan (mama). Mag tabi, mag storya pareha sa una.
Karun di na niya mabuhat kay magselos man si stepfather.

(Mama acted different because her attention was divided. I

want to spend quality time when she comes home from
work. To chitchat like before because now she can no longer
do that because stepfather will get jealous.)

Liam supplemented the statement by saying:

 80

Pito (7) nagud ka tuig wala na ko gina-contact si papa kay

inig mo-chat ko sa iyaha ang iyang kabit moreply ba, ako
nalang gi block. Tawag ko kaisa nangumusta ko mao ra to’y
last nangumusta ko sa akong amahan. Dugay na to.

(It has been seven years since I no longer contacted papa

because whenever I chat him, his mistress is the one who
replies that is why I blocked him. I called him only once to
ask how he was doing and that was the last time I checked
up on him. That was long time ago.)

Chaotic. Many quarrels and arguments happen in a family before and after the

separation of parents. Dealing with a new family set-up and having a stepfather unlocks

challenges for children and even in the whole family.

Zelia disclosed:

Libog kayo usahay sa balay. Abi ni papa nga naa mi

relasyon ni stepfather maong nag away mi ato ug sila ni
mama pod. Ana man to murag naa daw relasyon kaming
L***** unya kay nilaban man si mama kay syempre wala gud
jud unya lain kayo paminawon.

(Sometimes it is messy in the houe. Papa thought we had a

relationship with stepfather that is why papa and I argue and
also both of mama and papa. According to papa we seem to
have relationship with stepfather but mama took my side
because it is absurd to hear.)

Dilwyn also shared his experience:

Nagkuha syag lagaraw unya kami gamay pa mi mga 13

pako ato na ako pud nag gunit sa akoa pong stepbrother
nga gamatoy. Mao jud toy pinakalisod jud kay nagdala syag
lagaraw unya bale si mama ang nagsalo sa lagaraw.
Maygane nalabay ang lagaraw unya paglabay sa lagaraw
niadto sya sa akoa na “ambi na akong anak” ana ko “dili
nako ni ihatag” niana man sya nga sumbagon daw ko niya
nya, didto nako na realize na maypag wala siguro koy
amahan kay murag nadoble bitaw ang sakit.

(He took a dagger and we were still little that time. I was
about 13 that time. I was also holding my little stepbrother. It
was the hardest because he was carrying a dagger, then
 81

mama caught the dagger. Thankfully the dagger was thrown

then after throwing the dagger, he went to me saying "give
me my son" then I said “I will not give him to you” but he said
he will hit me. That was when I realized that it is better not to
have a father because it doubled the pain.)

Adjustment period. Adapting to a new set-up and to a new family member is

challenging for it requires a lot of patience and understanding. Dilwyn confided:

Ang kalisod pud ato kay mao lage bag-ohan pa sa among

amahan nga stepfather wala pa nailhan ang mga batasan
bale sige pa syag inom-inom sa una. Ang kalisod ato katong
nag-inom sya hubog gyud kayo unya wala sya ato sa iyang
pangisip ba nga nagkuha jud syag sundang na lagaraw.

(The difficult part was when stepfather was new to us and

behaviors were not yet known and he used to drink. It was
difficult when he was really drunk then he was out of his right
mind that he got a dagger.)

Feeling Anxious. Children from dysfunctional family often shares that they are

battling with their emotions in effect to the negative situation.

Liam shared:

Naglibog ko ba kung motrabaho ba ko o dili. Di ko

mahimutang mag sige kog huna-huna. Mahuna-hunaan man
gud nako, ma guol ko, di ko ganahan mag lihok-lihok.
Mawad-an ko ug gana. Usahay di ko motingog ka lola sige
man kog hilak magabii gud. Maghunahuna ko na kung
mawala si mama simbako, kinsa kahay moatiman namo.

(I was thinking either I will work or not. I was feeling uneasy

thinking about things. I get sad whenever I think of it that is
why I do not feel like doing anything. I lose interest.
Sometimes, I stay silent and do not talk to my grandmother
because I always cry at night. I worry as to who will take
care of us if mama will be gone.)

Challenges Encountered in studies after Parents Separation

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question “.

There are five (5) themes that were drawn out from the question, “What challenges
 82

have you encountered in your studies after the separation of your parents?” These are:

financial constraint, bullying, lost interest in school, started out bad vices, and having no

support in school works/activities.

Financial Constraint. Lack of money to support studies is one of the challenges

experienced by the informants. This happens when a parent from separation has no job

to support and provide for the daily needs of the family.

Ethan confided:
Lisod maam oy kay mangita kag baon para sa imong
kaugalingon kay akong mama wala may trabaho, mao nang
usahay di jud ko ganahan mo skwela ana nalang ko sa
kaugalingon nga moundang ug skwela. Naa kay gusto di
man nimo mapalit ang mga project kay walay kwarta.

(It is hard maam because you have to look for your

allowance since my mother has no job. That is why
sometimes I really do not like going to school and tell to
myself to just stop my education. You cannot afford the
things you like even projects due to lack of money.

Zelia supported the statement by saying:

Sa skwelahan kay maglisod ug bayad si mama magkabuang

pag pangutang.

(In the school, my mother struggle to pay. She finds a hard

time to look for money to borrow.)

Bullying. In the existence of Anti-bullying Law there is still bullying happening

especially in schools. The informants of the interview I have conducted experienced this

because of the reason that they come from dysfunctional family.

Zelia shared:

Daghan bitaw mag sungog sungog nga “walay papa”.

kanang anaon nga “nge way papa” mga bully-bully maam.
Mo-eskwela ko naay manungog nako nga (pangalan sa
stepfather) unya naay moingon nga mama daw mangabitay
daw. Mosundog daw ko ka mama.
 83

(Many are mocking me saying “no father”. They say that “ew
no father” they bully maam. When I go to school there are
students who call me names (name of stepfather) and bully
me that my mother is a mistress and that I will imitate my
mother.)

The same experience was shared by Liam and Lev.

Naay mosamok bitaw bangga-banggaan ko. Pag nay

manghinaway sa ako “Tagam byaan ug mama’g papa” ana-
anaan ko. Unayon rapud ko sa akong ig agaw bisan unsay
isulti masakitan pud ko kay kabalo man jud ko unsay
gitrabaho sa akong inahan didto.

(When someone is annoying and bumping me. Also, teasing

me “You deserve to be left by your mother and father” saying
things like that. My cousin bullied me by saying many things
and I get hurt because I know what my mother does there.)

Lost Interest in School. Being in a dysfunctional family disturbs the student’s

mental and emotional well-being that eventually affects their performance and interest in

school. Majority of the informants revealed the same thoughts.

Ethan stated:

Naay panahon nga di ko ganahan mo skwela kay wala

nakoy gana kay gusto ko manarbaho nalang. kay mao
gihapon moskwela ko uli tag balay kay wala man koy kwarta
naa kay gusto di man nimo mapalit ang mga project kay
walay kwarta

(There are times that I do not like to go to school and just do

work instead. If I go to school and do not work, I will have no
money to buy the things I like and school projects.)

Dilwyn supported the statement saying:

Kanang walay gana sa pag-eskwela. Akong ate pud walay

gana bale sige nalang ug absent. Ako present ko permi sa
skwelahan pero sa attendance wala kay perminte cutting.
Abi nalang sa akong mama ba nga present perminte pero sa
attendance diay wala kay dili mosulod.
 84

(Loss of interest in studies and my older sister also was

always absent. I was always present in the school but not in
the class attendance because I always go cutting classes.
My mama thought that I was present at school but actually
not in the attendance.)

Liam and Lev agreed to the statement as they said:

Dili ko moeskwela. wala koy gana.

(I would not go to school, I do not have interest.)

Started out bad vices. Parents are the one that guides us but without them who

will? One of the informants of this study shared how he attempted to try out bad vices.

Dilwyn confessed:

Nagsugod pud ug bisyo bisyo sigarilyo sigarilyo, pagka

elementary pa gyud to mga wa pay mga buot kung unsa
nang ingon ana, unsa nang epekto ana kay lage walay gana
kay broken na. Ang huna huna “ah wala na bitaw mobadlong
kay wala na ang mga ginikanan”.

(I also started to get addicted to cigarettes, when I was still in

elementary, having no knowledge about it and its effects
since the family is already broken. The only thought I had
was “Let’s do this since there is no one to reprimand
because we have no parents”.)

Having No Support in School Works/Activities. It is vital for parents to attend

the academic needs and school affairs of their children. It contributed for the essential

growth of the children. Most of the informants shared the same sentiments as they

shared.

Zelia narrated:

Kanang magbuhat ug family tree gusto nako magtinabangay

ba unya sila, di sila gusto kay wala man sila nag-uban.
Kanang sa parent’s day pud kulang sila maam. kanang wala
bitaw mo advice na kintahay naa kay problema sa
skwelahan.
 85

(In making of family tree, I want us to cooperate but they do

not like because they are no longer together. Also, during
parent’s day we are incomplete. No one is around to advice
you when you have a problem in school.)

In addition, Dilwyn shared the same sentiment:

Wala gyuy gana gyud. Na huna-hunaan jud nako to na wala

man siguro koy ginikanan ani kay wala may moattend.

(No interest at all. I thought that time if I still have parents

because no one was there to attend.)

The statement was supplemented by Liam:

Naay mga kuan na answeranan ba lisod unya way mokuan

sa akoa ba, way motabang ana. Sa grade 5 sauna
hunahuna lageh ko lisod kaayo ba.

(There are assignments and no one is there to help me. In

grade 5 I realized how hard it is.)

Ways that affect the Student and Studies

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question “.

There are five (5) themes that were drawn out from the question, “How did these

challenges affect you and your studies?” These are: affecting school performance,

traumatized, loss of focus, stimulated self-control, and motivated to pursue studies.

Affecting School Performance. The challenges brought about by dysfunctional

family have affected the informants’ performance and their interest in school. Majority of

the informants shared the same feeling.

Ethan revealed:

Naapektohan mam kanang di naka ganahan maminaw ug

study. Kanang naa naka sulod sa classroom wala ka
naminawg maayo nag hunahuna ka sa imong trabaho
nabyaan sa imong trabahoan. Mag magskwela man kog
buntag unya mag duty man kog tunnel inig ka gabii maong
kapoy kaayo akong lawas.
 86

(Affected in a way that you do not like to listen and study.

When you are inside the classroom, you do not listen well;
you are bothered with the work you left in the workplace. I
study in the day then I work in the tunnel at night that is why
my body is tired.)

Zelia and Lev shared the same experience which was being bullied that affects

their performance:

Usahay dili ko ganahan maminaw ba ana kay daghan kayo

sila unya naay usahay mawad-an bitawg gana maam nga
mo-skwela. Katong grade 6 pako dili nako ganahan
ginadown ko nila mam nga “si ayis mosunod sa iyang
mama”.

(Sometimes I really do not like to listen because they are so

many and sometimes, I do not feel like going to school.
When I was in grade 6 I do not like to go to school because
they pull me down by saying “Ayis will follow the footsteps of
her mother”.)

Also, Liam added:

Di nako kasulat gane ug mga sulatonon, di ko kanswer sa

mga assignment ug mga project.

(I cannot write written tasks, I cannot answer assignments

and projects.)

Traumatized. As they said, “Experience is the best teacher” but for others some

experience are traumatic. The informant I have interviewed shared his traumatic

experience as he faces the challenges brought by dysfunctional family.

Liam shared his experience:

Murag naratol bitaw kay kung mag gunit na syag lagaraw

maguol name. Sa pag-skwela gane o makurat-kuratan pud
ko kay abi nakog siya tong naa sa likod dili man diay murag
na-trauma bitaw. Kahilak lage ko sa una kay mogunit na
syag sundang mohilak rakog kalit didto sa kilid mokalit lang
ug dagan kay na-trauma.
 87

(I looked anxious because if he hold a dagger we become

worried. At school I become uneasy as I thought it was him
behind me which was not and it seemed like I was
traumatized. Before, when he holds a dagger I suddenly cry
in the corner and ran away because I was traumatized.)

Loss of Focus. as the mental and emotional well-being of children from

dysfunctional families were affected, they are affected in a way of losing their focus to

studies. Ethan conveyed:

Usahay kanang di ka mag focus murag imong pagskwela

imo nang gi happy happy kay kapoy sa trabaho.

(Sometimes you do not focus, it feels like your studies is

something you do to relieve your exhaustion from work.)

Stimulated self-control. In dealing with adversities in life, it is either you dwell

on it or take actions to change it. Despite of the negative situation, Liam tries to control

himself on how to react and deal with it.

Usahay ma control man nako. Usahay di ko ganahan

usahay Ganado pud kaayo mosulat sa mga answeranan.
Maapektohan ko kung sige nakog hunahunaon pero usahay
mag gara-gara nalang ko para makalimtan nako ba.

(Sometimes, I can control. Sometimes I do not feel like

writing and answering my assignments, sometimes I feel like
it. I become affected if I think about it too much however
sometimes I just crack jokes for me to forget it.)

Motivated to Pursue Studies. Setbacks and adversities always exist in a

human life. Either you come from a complete family or not. If you allow these setbacks

hold you from achieving your dreams you will lose. However, Lev perceives it in a

different view. He sees the negative as a motivation to attain his goals in life by pursuing

his studies.

Lev expressed his sentiment:

 88

Pero bisan sungogon ko nila maam kay mo-eskwela man

gihapon ko maam kay gusto man ko makahuman ug skwela.

(Even though they mock me maam, I still go to school

because I want to finish my studies.)

How did the informants cope with the challenges brought about by the separation
of their parents?

In this section, the findings of the first major research question “How did the

informants cope with the challenges brought about by the separation of their parents?”

The responses were presented in verbatim; that is, transcribing them based on the

language of the participants used during the interview. Conforming to the research

ethics, the identities of students had been concealed to ensure protection regarding to

their privacy.

Different Coping Mechanism in dealing the Challenges encountered at home

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question.

There are four (4) themes that were drawn out from the question, “How did you cope

with the challenges that you encountered at home?” These are: praying, working,

respecting and understanding each other, and diverting attention.

Praying. In order to ease the pain and vent out his/her emotions, the informants

seek help through praying. They shared the same thought.

Ethan and Lev shared:

Mag ampo lang jud ko sa ginoo nga makaya lang nako.

(I just pray to god to overcome it.)

 89

Working. To cope with the demand of life having low support particularly in the

financial aspect, informants try to help by working on their own to have something to

provide for their daily survival.

Ethan stated:

Magtrabaho lang ko para makakitag kwarta hantod makaya

raman sya maam.

(I just work to earn money until it becomes bearable maam.)

Lev and Zelia expressed the same thought:

Motabang-tabang lang ko ug trabaho para naay dugang

gasto pag-eskwela ug pagkaon.

(I help Papa in his work in order to have additional money for

studies and food.)

Respecting and Understanding each other. Adapting new familial status and

another member of the family requires respect and understanding to attain a smooth

sailing relationship among the family. You have to give respect in order to be respected.

This is how Dilwyn and Liam adjust to the situation.

Dilwyn revealed one of his coping mechanisms:

Pinaagi lang pud sa pagbinuotan, pag bag-o sa batasan, sa

pag higugmaay pag respeto ug pinaagi sa in-ana jud kay
kung wala jud na di jud magkasinabot broken napud.
Magsabotay nalang mi ni mama nga sabton nalang nato siya
ma kay saon taman naa naman.

(Through being kind, changing attitude, loving and

respecting each other because if these are not present there
will be misunderstandings and become broken again. We
just agree with mama to understand him.)

Liam maintained the statement by saying:

 90

Sa kanang mga igsoon ra pud dili nako manghilabot. kay

sauna kay sige raman kog pangulata gud.

(I no longer mess with my siblings. Before, I always hit

them.)

Diverting Attention. To trick the mind into feeling distracted from pain, you have

to divert your attention by engaging into other activities. Zelia and Liam have done the

same thing as per their revelation.

One of Zelia’s coping mechanism was shared by her. She said:

Ako nalang silang pasagdaan kay ilaha mana. Magskwela

nalang ko, kay ug mag-apil apil ko sa ilaha kay wala raman
gihapon koy makuan, kay ug mag apil-apil ko sa ilaha sa
storya madamay man ko.

(I just let them since it is their thing. I just study because if I

meddle, it will not benefit me. If I meddle with them I will be
involved in the arguments.)

Also, Liam stated:

Pangkalimtan nalang nako, garagara nalang ko sa akong

igsoon. Usahay dula ug billiard, hantod karun, nawala
naman. Usahay pud mga barkada pud nako mag shotshot
rami gamay.

(I just chose to forget and just joke around with my siblings.

Sometimes, I play billiard. The pain vanishes until now.
Sometimes we drink together with my friends.)

Different Coping Mechanism in dealing the Challenges encountered relating to

studies

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question.

There are six (6) themes that were drawn out from the question, “How did you cope with

the challenges that you encountered relating to your studies?” These are: Time

management, ignoring the bullies, making adjustments, being optimistic and grateful,

reminiscing good memories, and fighting back.

 91

Time Management. Ethan, one of the informants, cope the challenges he

encountered by dividing his time to balance work and studies. He said:

Bahinon nako akong panahon maam kung makaya nako nga

moskwela ko, moskwela ko pero kung paminaw nako nga
lisod muabsent lang ko para mabahin nako ang panahon
nga moskwela ko dala trabaho maam.

(I divide my time maam. If I can manage to go to school, I go

to school but if I feel that it is difficult, I just absent from the
class to balance my time. To study while working maam)

Ignoring the Bullies. The less you respond with negative people, the more you

can attain peace within your life. Zelia chose to ignore the bullies who disturb her

peace.

Zelia shared how he handled her bullies:

Di nalang nako sila paminawon mao gihapon wa koy

mapala. Sagdaan nalang nako sila magyawyaw kay kung
mopatol ko, ako raman gihapoy madaot di man sila.

(I just do not listen to them because it will not benefit me. I

just let them murmur because if I fight with them, I will be the
one to get hurt not them.)

Making Adjustments. As the saying goes “we cannot direct the wind, but we

can adjust the sails” tells us that if we do not like the situation we are into and does not

making us any happy, we have to make adjustments to adapt to it. Dilwyn shared that

adjustments made by him and the family turned into a positive one.

Dilwyn narrated:

Nakaya ragyud namo tanan gyud hantod karon nga nabag-o

nagyud mi tungod pud sa akong stepfather unya adjust
nalang gyud pud. Karon na nabag-o naman daghan jud nag
bag-o sa una ug sa karon, Naa nay stepfather ug lahi rajud
among papa.
 92

(We have all been able to overcome it until now, we have

changed a lot because of my stepfather and we have
adjusted. Now, things have changed, a lot really changed in
the past and now in the present, we have stepfather and our
father was really different.)

Being Optimistic and Grateful. How you respond to life’s adversities defines

who you are. When reality hits you, it is either you dwell on it or take it as an inspiration

to move forward and being grateful despite of the situation is one good way.

Liam said:

Kuan ra sige rakog ingon sa akong kaugalingon nga

mohuman gyud kog eskwela kay sayang pud ang kahago sa
akong inahan gipaeskwela baya tag tarong unya abusaran
ra. Akong mama ragyud akong inspirasyon wala nako
naghunahuna sa amahan nako. Dako pud akong pasalamat
kay lola kay pila ka tuig gud inatimanay niya sa amoa.

(I just keep on telling myself to finish studies so that

hardships of my mother will not be put to waste in sending
us to school. It should not be abused. My mom is really my
inspiration I do not think about my father. I am also very
grateful to my grandmother for taking care of us for many
years.)

Reminiscing Good Memories. To reminisce the past can either hurt us or

inspire us. In the case of Zelia, reminiscing the past helps her to cope with the

challenges she encounter.

Zelia confided:

Hunahunaon nalang nako tong saunang niagi ba kay murag

malipay man ko maghunahuna tong sauna..

(I just think of the past because it somehow makes me

happy remembering it.)

Fighting Back. One of the informant shared that when the bullies do not listen to

his plea and never stop from bullying him, he fights back.

Lev revealed how he fought his bullies:

 93

Usahay ug mapuno nako kay mobalos ko sa ilaha, ako

silang patulan maam. Mag sinumbagay mi.

(Sometimes if I ran out of patience, I take revenge. I fought

back and hit each other.)

Based on experiences, what insights did the informants gain and what
realizations did they arrive at?

In this section, the findings of the first major research question “Based on

experiences, what insights did the informants gain and what realizations did they arrive

at?” The responses were presented in verbatim; that is, transcribing them based on the

language of the participants used during the interview. Conforming to the research

ethics, the identities of students had been concealed to ensure protection regarding to

their privacy.

Insights and Realizations after all the Experiences in Life

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question.

There are five (5) themes that were drawn out from the question, “What are your

insights and realizations after going through all your experiences?” These are: focus on

the positive things, not to repeat history, stick together no matter what, family is

important, and pursuing studies is important.

Focus on the Positive Things. After all the experiences in life brought by

dysfunctional family, informants in the interview realized to focus on the positive things

that matter.

Ethan stressed:

Ako nalang gibalewala akong problema i-happy happy nako

sa akong barkada kung asa ko malipay kay panahon nga
 94

mahinumdoman nimo gyud sa una ug karun maguol man jud

ka maam pero madala lang man nimo kay naa man kay mga
barkada malingaw man ka sa ilaha. Mawala naman lang pud
sa hunahuna pero maguol man ka maam kung mahisgotan
nimo tong nakaagi maam ba kung nay mangutana “asa
imong ginikanan?” murag ma maguol jud ka pero ug di
mahisgotan, okay raman.

(I just do not mind my problem I just spend happy times with

my friends where I can be happy because the moment I
remember the past and the present I become sad, but I have
friends that makes me happy. You will forget but you will get
sad if the past will be talked about again if someone asks
“where are your parents?” you seem to get sad, but if it will
not be brought up, it is fine.)

Also, Liam maintained the statement by saying:

Dapat mag bag-o kay sauna bugoy kaayo ko makahimog

dautan. Sige pangitag away bisan kinsa ray awayon.
Moabsent sa klase bisan walay hinungdan. Sakit ra sa ulo
gihatag ila lola maong mag-bag-o nagyud.

(I should change because I was very troublesome before

and committed bad things. I always look for trouble and
mess with anyone. Absent from the class for no valid reason.
Gives only headache to my grandmother that is why I should
change.)

Not to Repeat History. Having negative memories from the situation and being

able to experience different struggles in life, Ethan shared his desire not to experience it

again. They said that they do not want to repeat it and have their future family to get to

experience such. He said:

Di jud nako i-patisting ang natistingan nako maam kung

maabot ang panahon nga maminyo ko. Maningkamot jud ko
na akong anak kanang dili niya maexperience akong
nakaagian kay lisod man kaayo. lisod jud na broken family
ka.

(I will not allow my family to experience what I had

experienced if the time will come that I will get married. I will
do my best to make my child not to experience what I had
 95

gone through because it is so hard. It is really hard that you

are in a broken family.)

Stick Together no matter what. When couples get married, they share their

wedding vows to each other. “For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness

and in health” this statement is said during wedding ceremony and it is significant

because couple must live this statement. This is what Zelia wants to emphasize as she

said:

Kung pamilyado naka dapat sa kalisod ug kalipay dapat way

biyaay kay ang maapektohan ra ba jud kay pamilya.

(If you are already a family man, through ups and downs, there
should be no leaving because it will really affect the family.)

Family is Important. All throughout the experience, transitioning from complete

family to dysfunctional family, informants have realized and appreciate the importance

of family to one’s life. Family is everything as shared by them.

Zelia explained the importance of family:

Importante jud ang pamilya kay kung guba kaayo ang pamilya
kay murag kulang jud kaayo mam. Gusto ka mangayo bitaw
kag lambing, gusto kag kanang sila jud duha kay kanang di
nimo makuan.

(Family is really important because if it is broken it feels that

something is really lacking. You want to ask for cuddles from
both of your parents but you cannot get anything.)

Also, Dilwyn said:

Importante kayo jud ang pamilya kay mao rapuy motabang

sa imoha sa kalisod kay ug wala gyuy pamilya asa kaha mi
paingon karon basin nangaunsa name palaboy na guro.
Importante gyud kaayo ang pamilya kay kung mabungkag
jud na kay wala na kanya kanya nang tanan.

(Family is really important maam because they are the ones

who will help you in your hard times. If we have no family I
 96

do not know where we are going now maybe we are now in

the streets. Family is really important because if it will be
broken everybody will have its separate ways.)

Lev supported the statement by saying:

Lisod kaayo kung walay pamilya dili mo magkauban, dili mo

katarong ug kaon kay bulag bulag ang pamilya unya sa
pagtulog dili nimo kauban imong pamilya.

(It is very difficult if your family is broken. You cannot eat well
because the family is broken and when you sleep you do not
have your family around.)

Pursuing Studies is important. As they said, education is the key to success,

but actually it does not necessarily follow. However, it is more advantage and essential

to pursue studies and finish it to be able to get a good paying job. In this way, we could

give back and help our family and future own family. This is how Dilwyn and Liam view

the importance of pursuing studies.

Dilwyn shared:

Narealize pud nako na maningkamot ug skwela.

Kinahanglan jud moskwela kay para sa kaugmaon para sa
pamilya ug para pud sa sunod nako nga pamilya.

(I realized to study hard. It is needed to study for the future,

for my family and for my future family.)

In addition, Liam stressed the same sentiment:

Na realize nako nga magtarong kog skwela arun

makahuman ko makatabang nako sa akong pamilya.

(I realized to do better in studies for me to finish my

education and be able to help my family.)

Plans and Dreams in Life

This part presents the themes that had emerged from the specific question.

There are six (6) themes that were drawn out from the question, “Despite what you have
 97

been through, what are your plans or dreams in life?” These are: finish studies, to land a

job, parents to get back together, give back to parents and family, and not to repeat

history in the future family.

To Finish Studies. People have different plans and dreams in life but the

informants from dysfunctional family whom I have interviewed have all the same future

plan which is to pursue and finish studies. They believe that graduating with a degree

enable human to have a better life and be of much potential to pay back parents.

Ethan briefly said:

Una gyud maam gusto ko makahumag skwela maam.

(First maam is I want to finish my studies.)

Zelia and Liam shared the same desire in order for them to help their family:

Makahuman ug skwela para mutabang sa pamilya.

(To finish studies to help my family.)

Also, Dilwyn supported the statement:

Mokuha ug maayo nga kurso. Gusto gyud ko moskwela jud

bahalag manarbaho. Wala man lay makuhaan ug kwarta kay
mag working student lang. mao jud na akong pangandoy na
makahuman jud ug skwela para ang pamilya jud ma
improve.

(Get a good course. I really want to study even if I work at

the same time. If there is no money to sustain my studies, I
will be a working student. That is my dream to finish my
studies to improve my family.)

Lev said:

Nangandoy jud ko makahuman kog skwela bago

magkapamilya.

(I really dreamed of finishing my studies before building my

own family.)
 98

To Land a Job. Experiencing financial struggles which make life harder

motivates a person to do well and be able to land a job that pays well. Part of the plan

according to the informants is to have a job in the future in order to meet their needs

and wants.

Ethan disclosed one of his plans in life:

Gusto ko maam makaplastar ko sa akong balay. Ganahan

man kog motor, makapalit man kog motor kung
pagpanarbaho.

(I want to settle in my own house maam. I like motorcycles

and I can be able to afford it if I have work.)

Also, Liam shared what job he desires:

Gusto nako maging pulis.

(I want to become a policeman.)

Lev also shared his dream job:

Driver. gusto nako mahimong driver sa sakyanan. Sakyanan sa

akong trabahoan arun maka suroy suroy ko.

(Driver, I want to become a vehicle driver. Vehicle of my

employer so that I can travel.)

Parents to get back together. The situation of being in a dysfunctional family is

difficult. The family have to deal with different adversities, adjustments and metal stress.

Hence, some children from such family wanted to have their parents get back together just

like the three informants I talked to.

Zelia shared one of her dreams:

Unya kanang kung pwede lang magbalik sila mam ba himoon

nako. Unta magbalik sila mam.
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(If it is still possible for them to get back together, I will do it. I
hope they get back together maam.)

Liam supplemented the statement:

Gusto unta nako magbalik sila kay di nako gusto magminyo ug

usab si mama.

(I want them to get back together because I do not want Mama

to remarry.)

Lev also said:

Gusto pud nako unta maam nga kanang matapok akong

pamilya.

(I want to gather my family.)

Give Back to Parents and Family. As a way of appreciating and giving back to

parents sacrifices, children do it by helping parents when they are capable to help. This is

also the plan of Zelia, Dilwyn and Liam in the future.

Zelia shared her plan:

Makahuman ug skwela para mutabang sa pamilya mam.

makatabang ko saila bahalag bulag sila basta tabangan nako
sila kung unsay kinahanglan ni papa ug ni mama di nalang ko
manguan kung kinsa may labaw nakabuhi sa amoa.

(To finish studies in order to help my family. Help them even

though they are separated. I will help them as to what papa and
mama needs regardless of who has given more support in
raising us.)

Dilwyn added:

Maningkamot man mig skwela para makabalos pud mi sa iyaha.

(To study hard in order to give back to her.)

Also, Liam said:

Akong mga manghod pahumanon nako silag eskwela ako

napud paeskwela sa ilaha.
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(I will support my siblings in finishing their studies.)

Not to repeat history in the future family. Living in a dysfunctional family and

coping with different challenges brought by the situation, informants want to have a different

future in having their own family. They do not want to enable their family experience what

they had.

Ethan expressed his desire by saying:

Akoa lang naa koy balay maam kay kung magkapamilya ko

sunod na naa silay mapuy-an. Unsay gusto sa akong pamilya
mahatag nako.

(For me I just want to have my own house for my future family to

live with. I will give what my family wants.)

Zelia shared:

Kung ako magminyo, magkuan ug pamilya nga kanang buo.

Unya kung naay problema kayahon lang mam ba dili
magpatonto sa mga bisan unsa nga problema makapa
discourage. Unya kung minyo na, focus jud bitaw sa mga anak
nya dili mga away-away arun dili maapektohan. Dili ipadungog
sa mga bata.

(If I get married, I will build a family that is complete. And when
problems arise, we’ll just overcome it and not be fooled by any
problem that gives discouragement. If married already, focus on
the children and do not fight so that they will not be affected. Do
not let children hear it.)

Also, Dilwyn conveyed:

Sa sunod gusto nako nga malahi dili kaparehas sa una ba.

Gusto nako dili na mahitabo sa akong future kay di pud ko gusto
masakitan pud sila. Gusto jud nako nga malipayon jud ang
pamilya walay kasakit. Hinuon natural manang kasakit pud para
malig-on naka sunod ba.

(I want to have a different experience next time. I do not want it

to happen again in my future because I do not want them to get
hurt. I want the family to be happy and have no pain. Well, it is
normal to have pain in order to be strong.)
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Liam supported the same statement by stressing:

Ug naa nakoy sariling pamilya gusto nako makahuman jud ug

skwela akong anak ug gusto nako ang akong naagian dili nila
maagian kung unsa kalisod akong naagian dili nila maagian.

(If I have my own family, I want my children to finish studies

and not to experience what I had gone through, they will not
experience how hard I have experience.)

Chapter IX

DISCUSSION AND CONCLUSION

This chapter presents the discussions and recommendations on this study that

explored the experiences of Junior High School students of Magangit Integrated School.

Research informants were chosen based on the uniqueness of their life-story as

a product of dysfunctional family in order to probe the experiences of Junior high school

students of Magangit Integrated School. In-depth interview was done during the

interview with the informants. All throughout the entire interview, adherence to the
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informants’ confidentiality of their identity and credibility was observed. Their responses

were transcribed an analyzed. Themes were drawn out from their responses which

paint the picture of their experiences as a student who came from dysfunctional family.

The sequence of the presentation for this chapter was based on the order of the

research questions in the interview guide. The discussions section highlighted the

themes, which were the findings in the study, and corroborated with related literature

and studies.

Discussion

The key participants in this study are five Junior high school students of Magangit

Integrated School bearing different family life-story. Significant stories and experiences

are gathered and presented in this section. The structured themes and the emerging

themes were made as bases in the discussion of the findings in this study. Each theme

was linked to related literature and studies to add substantially to the discussion.

State of Family before Separation. This structured theme summarizes the

views of five junior high school students as to how they see their families’ situation and

status before their parents separate. The emerging themes are blissful, quarreling,

complete, does family bonding and chaotic. This is how the research informants

describe their family before getting into dysfunctional family.

The informants labeled their family as blissful before the strike of marital

dissolution in the family. The feeling of great happiness is present in their family status

before compared to their present situation. Having complete family enables them to feel

bliss. The positive feeling the child bear contributes to feeling good within oneself.
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According to Urbano (2020), the family provides emotional support to an individual as

well as plays a major role in the formation of one’s personality.

Quarreling among relationships is normal. This is because of individual

differences which can cause stress to both parents and even in children. Frequent fights

and squabbles may affect the children’s attitude, mood and even their mental state.

According to Saikia (2017), family is the first institution where one starts to equip oneself

to grow. Having healthy and happy family is what everyone’s dream. But many could

not succeed it due to differences.

Despite all the conflicts, quarrels and disagreements, choosing to respect

individual differences enables to keep the family together. A feeling of completeness

even after the storm is felt within the family. Some parents chose to stay in marriage not

just because for themselves but mainly for their children. According to Rao (2011) in his

study, the family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as the root of culture. It

is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance and emotional refueling

that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater world and to become

all that he can be.

Furthermore, families do leisure like family bonding. This leisure is essential to

strengthen the family relationship but it does not guarantee of escaping from problems

and adversities that challenges the family. According to Soefandi and Pramudya (2009),

the family is a social group consisting of two or more people who have blood ties,

marriage, or adoption. Families can also be interpreted as small social groups

consisting mostly of fathers, mothers, and children, which has a profound effect on

children's socialization process (Roostin, 2018). Children’s developments are highly

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dependent on the interaction and presence of the family. It is necessary in equipping the

children with the basic knowledge and skills they have to acquire.

Chaotic family is a family situation experienced by people from dysfunctional

family. Recurrent arguments and squabbles that turns into physical fights make life

messy and stressful. This chaotic family situation is attained due to various reasons and

it commonly paves way to dysfunctional family. This mainly affects the children

experiencing chaotic family that involves verbal and physical fights because it may be

harmful and affect their personality development. Children are great imitators, what they

see they do. Therefore, the family context plays a fundamental role in the personality

development of children and adolescents (Ribeiro, 2007; Relvas & Vaz, 2007).

Unforgettable Experiences in the Family before and during the Separation

of Parents. Informants share their unforgettable experiences from having a complete

family to having dysfunctional family. The emerging themes gathered from this

structured theme are: family bonding, having meal together, to be given support,

fighting, praying together; and feeling of sadness and loneliness.

Good memories are to be remembered. Informants share their unforgettable

experience in the family and consider family bonding. Essential as it is, family bonding

strengthens family relationship and allow the family to create happy memories. Bonding

involves going out together, spending family time in the beach or malls or having picnics

in the park. This helps in providing emotional support to parents and children. Recent

research about family defines its concept as a privileged environment of personality

formation and bounding; therefore, it has a fundamental role in the development of

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toddlers and adolescents (Berry, Kagitçibasi, Georgas, Poortinga, & Van de Vijler, 2006;

Relvas & Vaz, 2007).

Eating together as a family ensures that everyone has food in their stomachs.

However, sharing meals does more than feeding each person physically; it also feeds

them emotionally and draws them together. Family meals allow conversation to take

place and simply talking to each other enables the family to stay connected. The quality

of food no longer matter but the opportunity of sharing meal together. A low level conflict

with parents and closeness to them are associated with less likelihood of having

behavioral and emotional problems (Caughlin & Malis, 2004; Parker & Benson, 2004;

Vandewater & Lansford, 2005).

Family support contributes to the child’s growth. Physical, emotional, moral and

financial support is needed and vital in the development of children. If parent lack to

give this kind of support, it can have either negative or positive effect on the children. It

can cause mental stress, disturb their emotional capacity or, another way around, can

motivate them to set and achieve their goals in life. Agulana (2000) pointed out that the

family lays the psychological, moral, and spiritual foundation in the overall development

of the child.

Undesirable experience which is fighting is what the informants consider as an

unforgettable experience. Parents fighting in front of their children can create a negative

atmosphere in the family. It may negatively affect the behavior and outlook in life of the

children. Such undesirable experience is considered unforgettable for it has transpired

into parents splitting up that eventually turn family into dysfunctional. In cases where

violence is meted out on the woman in marriage by either the spouse or in-laws, it may
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lead to divorce, especially in this age of gender equality and equity (Eyo, 2016). The

violence can be physical, sexual, verbal, economic, emotional, etc. violence.

Another unforgettable experience considered by the informant in reminiscing the

past is family praying together. Praying before sleep and going to church has become a

bonding for the family. as it stimulates positive atmosphere doing an activity that

worships God. Hence, it is one of the best memories in the family that will not be

forgotten.

Before separation happen, it has a lot of history behind that entails pain and

suffering to parents and children. It is a feeling prolonged loneliness and sadness that

could contribute to their personality. Informants shared how they become devastated

when their parents split up. They felt worried as to who will take care of them;

incomplete for losing one of their parents alongside; and they long the presence of a

complete family that gives joy. Souza (2000) and Ribeiro (2007) said that divorce is not

a situation that happens from one day to another, it is a complex process that involves

multiple changes.

Challenges Encountered at Home after Parents Separation. Five junior high

school informants from dysfunctional family share the same experiences in facing the

challenges and demands of life. Out of their responses seven themes were drawn out.

These are, feeling of sadness and loneliness, providing the daily needs, was blamed for

the separation, less attention from the parent, chaotic, adjustment period and feeling

anxious.

Divorce creates emotional turmoil for the entire family, but for kids, the situation

can be quite scary, confusing, and frustrating (Urbano, 2020). Individuals who come
 107

from broken family suffer in their emotional state. A prolonged feeling of sadness and

loneliness can be developed into anxiety or depression if taken for granted and it is one

of the hardest battles in life. Individuals who are mentally and emotionally disturbed are

vulnerable to anything. Ribeiro (2007) believed that a divorce is one of the major

stresses that a child can experience as threatening and destabilizing situation that it is

being expected that the child’s reactions are intense and sometimes lasting.

One of the challenges encountered at home is the difficulty of providing the daily

needs for daily survival. Having one parent to support the family is hard especially if the

parent is unemployed or has no stable job. Children living with single mothers are

much more likely to live in poverty than children living with both married parents

(Edwards, 2014). One of the informants shared that there were times that they had only

one meal for a day because they had no money to buy food. The difficulty experienced

pushed them to work in order to contribute money for the family. Supported by Saikia

(2017), Children are the ones who suffer most when parents are separated. Broken

family is followed by financial problems generally, that is why; there are more

tendencies for children to stealing and robbery.

Couples separate for many reason, it could be financial, domestic violence or

infidelity. However, the informant shared that her father blamed her for the infidelity of

her mother which causes their separation. Pointed out to be the reason of the negative

situation can create low self-esteem for the individual. This can possibly affect her

behavior at home, in school and even her academic performance. Broken homes can

cause children to question their self- worth, to experience unnecessary grief, guilt and

confusion. It can affect their whole life, especially in their studies and in their emotions.
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Being into a broken family gives a lot of effects to a teenager. The one who should

support and be there for them are the one who hurts their feeling (Galang, 2015).

Mackay (2005) revealed that after separation, most children live in the primary

custody of one parent. In most cases, children live with her mother, so that the

significant problem is the absence of their father. It is not just the father’s presence in

the home that is important; it is his presence in a child’s life. Informant felt being left out

as her mother found another partner in life. Her parent was occupied in her work that

she forgot to spend some valuable time with her children. Thus, getting less attention

from parents enable individuals to seek attention from other things such as friends who

can influence them positively or negatively, from relationships or in vices. Amato and

Cheadle (2005) revealed that children with divorce parents tend to obtain lower

education, have weaker ties with parents, and report more symptoms of psychological

distress.

Furthermore, when a home is broken, children are affected in many ways for

example the girls amongst them may run into men in order to pay their school fees

some of them may get pregnant in the process which might warrant them to quit,

education entirely (Okoye, 2001).

Before separation happen, there are a lot of squabbles, arguments and fights.

These recurrent fights might have caused the separation. During the separation,

informants share that their mothers have found another partner in life. Their mothers got

them a stepfather. One of them shared that a lot of arguments in the family when the

biological father who has not moved on with the separation started the arguments. The

other one said that their stepfather causes the same headache like their biological
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father. Children who witness parents’ conflicts may shape a negative perception on self,

because they tend to consider themselves as causes of conflicts and blame themselves

for a disharmonious marital relationship (Grych et al., 2000).

To have a stepfather and to adapt to the new family set-up is challenging for the

parent and the children. Adjustments are to be made in order to connect with each other

and create a friendly atmosphere. Making adjustments involves understanding each

other, longer patience and giving respect to each other. Divorce increases the risk of

adjustment problems in children (Kelly & Emery, 2003). Informant shared how difficult it

was in adapting to their new family status and how misunderstandings among the family

turned into respecting and loving each other. According to a study by Souza (2000), the

initial negative reactions to divorce do not necessarily reflect a long-term commitment,

which may indicate that these are just normal reactions to the situation.

Individuals become anxious learning the fact that their parents have separated.

This feeling of anxiousness can greatly affect their interest in many things including their

academic performance. Informant shared that he was fearful as to what will happen to

him and his siblings if the time comes that her mother will be gone since they are

currently living with their grandmother. He said that his worries make him cry and

unable to do things he usually does. Roehlkepartain (2003) said that the family and its

structure play a great role in children’s academic performance. Child’s mental and

emotional developments which are factors for school education could be greatly

influenced by nature of the family into which the child is born. The status of the family

determines the type of influences and the level of educational attainment of children that

are brought up in various homes.

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Furthermore, divorce makes children unsafe, uncertain of the future or makes

children feel that the future is bleak and they become helpless because they fear that

something bad could happen to them (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 2003).

Challenges Encountered in studies after Parents Separation. Five junior high

school informants from dysfunctional family share the same experiences in facing the

challenges and demands of life. Out of their responses seven themes were drawn out.

These are financial constraint, bullying, lost interest in school, started out bad vices, and

having no support in school works/activities.

Separation of parents is commonly preceded by financial constraint in the family.

Being unemployed or having unstable job while supporting and rearing children alone

without the help of other party is tough. The family faces financial problem and find it

difficult to even pay the school obligations as well as providing allowance for the

students. As shared by the informant, going to school without allowance enables her to

lose interest in attending classes which can affect their academic output.

Ukpong (2014) maintains that, “the children may suffer initial psychological,

financial and otherwise effects, their separation from one of their parents may cause

them initial emotional upset or trauma, but they have the advantage of being from

conflict and hostility”.

Bullying is rampant anywhere, it happens at home and in school. Individuals who

come from dysfunctional family are not safe from bullying. In the United States of

America, over fifty percent of children and adolescents have experienced a traumatic

event, including but not limited to domestic violence, community violence, child physical

or sexual abuse, bullying, serious accidents, medical trauma, neglect, caregiver

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separations, or the traumatic death of a loved one (Cohen, Berliner, & Mannarino,

2010).

Bullies tend to bully them for having such different family set-up than usual.

Bullied, students from dysfunctional families never wanted to get into such family

situation. Recurrent bullying affects the emotional and mental state of the bullied that

stimulates low interest in going to school. A feeling of low self-esteem and self-pity

could be developed within oneself. Thus, their academic performance will be affected.

According to Frazer (2004), psychological home conditions arise mainly from

illegitimacy of children, the label of adopted child, broken homes, divorce and parental

deprivation. Such abnormal conditions of the home, are likely to have a detrimental

effect on school performance of the child he asserts.

The greater society points a finger at separation as the reason for a wide range

of greater social problems (Ahron, 2007). It also looked at conduct disorders which

result in aggressive, violent or anti-social behavior.

As a reaction to the negative situation, students from dysfunctional families tend

to lose interest in school. Majority of the informants shared that attending classes no

longer excite them. One of them said that instead of going to school, he is more into

working for it pays him rather than going to school. Bubelwa (2014) believed that the

degree of parental conflicts varies from mild to serious. These conflicts affect the

academic performance of their children hence lead to drop out from school.

At an early age, informant’s parents have gotten into separation because of bad

vices of his father. He was able to witness how little arguments of his parents transpired

into physical fights. He had this view that since he already gotten into a negative
 112

situation, he believed that it was okay to just try and start bad vices such as smoking.

He was no longer afraid to fall in life since he believed he was already in the bottom.

The situation influences how he perceives life and how he lives it. Cruz and Berja

(2008) said that affected adolescents use smoking as coping mechanism to broken

home. Aside from smoking, adolescents also are engaged to drinking, taking illegal

drugs, sexual activity, and juvenile delinquency as coping strategies.

Aside from getting into bad vices, another challenge considered by informants is

having no support in school works and activities. School activities are integral part in

any learning process. According to them, whenever they have school projects and

difficult assignments, they have no one to turn to who gives full support. Also, they have

no one to attend school affairs that somehow discourage them in school. Low support in

academic can tantamount to low academic performance and low-self esteem of the

children. Support from family is critical because poor support contributes to lower

academic achievement among adolescents even in intact families (Siti Nor & Zaline,

2005). According to Sun and Li (2002), high parental conflict is associated with lower

score on Mathematics and reading exams among adolescents from divorced families

compared to adolescents in intact families.

Ways that affect the Student and Studies. Five junior high school informants

from dysfunctional family share the same experiences as to how the challenges affected

them and their studies. Out of their responses seven themes were drawn out. These are

affecting school performance, traumatized, loss of focus, stimulated self-control, and

motivated to pursue studies.

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When the home becomes broken, the entire family is shattered and the children

are the ones who are greatly affected as well. Informants shared that emotionally they

are devastated; they felt anxious and developed low self-esteem which affects their

scholastic performance. Physically they are present in the class, but mentally absent.

Doing class activities and assignments no longer excites them. Levin (2001) stated that

parents are probably the actor with the clearest un-dimentionals interest in a high level

of their children’s academic performance. To some extent, there is simple evidence to

show the marital instability brings about stress, tension, lack of motivation and

frustration obviously, these manifestations act negatively on a child’s academic

performance.

Trauma is one of the effects of the challenges according to the informant from

dysfunctional family. The trauma was experienced by the informant when his mother got

them a stepfather. His stepfather find it hard to understand the situation of having step

children and was unable to easily adjust. This misunderstanding turned into fights in the

family that left a trauma to the informant in the extent that it made him uneasy at home

and even in school. Trauma is defined as a subjective experience of terror and/or

helplessness in response to an extraordinarily stressful event (Bulanda & Johnson,

2016). According to Ukpong (2014) the children may suffer initial psychological,

financial and otherwise effects, their separation from one of their parents may cause

them initial emotional upset or trauma, but they have the advantage of being from

conflict and hostility.

Being so preoccupied with the situation and the problems in life, informant

shared that he has lost some focus in school. Sometimes, work is prioritized than
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studies and going to school is something considered by the informant an entertainment

to compromise his tiresome work. Okoye (2012) stressed that academic performance is

an objective score of attainment after a specified instructional program. Academic

performance can be influenced by many factors, but the impact family relationships play

on a child’s scholastic achievement alongside the development of the child cannot be

overemphasized.

Along with the negative effects in dealing the challenges brought by parents’

separation, there are also positive ones. One of those is being able to stimulate self-

control. Emotionally, the informant was greatly affected that was manifested in his

academic performance. Allowing his mind to entertain thoughts about his dysfunctional

family makes him feel anxious. Little by little, informant developed self-control in order

for him to properly deal with his emotions and chose to interact with his siblings and

friends by being funny. The more he thinks of the negative thoughts, the more he

become sad and lose interest in many things. According to Clando and Kemp (2007),

each child’s reaction depends on how she/he perceives it or the different personal or

familial circumstances before or after the divorce.

Another positive effect as the individuals from dysfunctional family deal with

different issues in life, is allowing them to be motivated in pursuing their studies.

Negative and positive effects manifested by students from such family are easily

detected by teachers. According Whitemarsh (2008), educators are often the first to

notice a change in behavior when a family is in transition to being broken up Teachers

have observed that some children from divorced families may show decreased
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functioning in academic performance and display oppositional behavior, or signs of

anxiety and depression.

Furthermore, coming from dysfunctional family does not mean that you will fail in

life or you are incapable of succeeding in life. It is how the student/individual perceives

life. It is how you take discouragements as a motivation to do better. As shared by the

informant, despite of the bullying he receives in school, he still goes to school and

attend classes because he has a desire to finish studies. Ayodele (2006) said that some

children irrespective of home background or structures may work hard and become

successful in life. The environment where a child finds himself or herself goes a long

way in determining his learning ability and ultimately his academic performance in

school.

Different Coping Mechanism in dealing the Challenges encountered at

home. Informants have shared their how they cope with the challenges encountere at

home. Out of their responses four themes were drawn out. These are praying, working,

respecting and understanding each other and diverting attention.

When people face different battles in life, some, would turn to prayer. Different

aspects in our lives are being shattered when we get to experience disappointments,

problems and pitfalls in life. Sometimes, we tend to weaken our spiritual aspect as we

ask God of the things happening around and within us. However, some people

strengthen their spiritual faith when faced with challenges in life. This is how two

informants cope with life’s problems.

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Another coping mechanism done by the informants is working. Dealing with

financial instability, informants cope with their financial problems by working. They work

in order to afford food they need in their daily living. Further, Rizzin (2003) stated that

coping with marital conflicts homes means obtaining food, clothes, shelter and

protecting against parental violence and health services. It depends on the personal

strength of the child’s resourcefulness (the ability to solve problems quickly and

efficiently with the available resources) and resilience (the ability to do well in spite of

difficult circumstances) which determine his/her survival.

In an argument or conversation, one must listen first in order to reply. The notion

that one must reply in order to be heard is not always relevant because even if all you

got is silence, it can be heard. In order to create a good atmosphere in a family when

misunderstanding and miscommunication take place, there should be respect and

understanding among the family members. One of the informants shared that he and

his family opted to adjust and understand his stepfather and respect his reactions

towards the situation. Also, another informant opted not to hurt his siblings physically

whenever they tease him.

To trick the mind and distract from emotional pain, one of the coping mechanism

done by informants is to divert attention. Informants divert their attention by thinking

positive thoughts and focusing on studies. Another way also is by socializing with

friends and doing things that make them happy. Suls and Wallston (2003) stated that

resourcefulness and resilience would depend upon the child’s creativity, hard work,

intelligence and concern for one another. Protective factors include psychological

reactivity, social support and effective coping skills which help child to tolerate the
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situation. They were used to ask their peers for help and peers invite to play together

as the help of turn them happier .

Different Coping Mechanism in dealing the Challenges encountered

relating to studies. Five informants have shared their how they cope with the

challenges encountered relating to studies. Out of their responses six themes were

drawn out. These are time management, ignoring the bullies, fighting back, making

adjustments, being optimistic and grateful, and reminiscing good memories.

Students narrated their coping mechanisms in facing challenges relating to

studies. Time management is being practiced by one of the informants since he does

work while studying at the same time, but when he is exhausted due to work, he

would absent for the day.

Bullying is rampant in school and to cope with this kind of negative behavior

done by classmates, informants tend to not equate it with negative behavior. They

chose to ignore the bullies because they believe that it will not benefit them if they

allow the bullies bother them.

However, when bullying becomes recurrent and worst, fighting back is one of

the coping mechanisms stressed by the other informant. Informant narrated that he

had to teach the bullies a lesson. He fought back by punching the bullies and said

that he would never regret fighting back even if it caused him pain. Woosley, Dennis,

Robertson and Goldstein (2009) cited that children of divorced parents had more

problems in school than those whose parents were still together.

Another coping mechanism shared by the informants is to make adjustments.

Adapting to the new family set-up was not easy for the informant which affects his
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performance in school. He and the family made an adjustment in embracing the

current situation they are into in order to connect with their stepfather and to create a

good atmosphere in the family.

Being optimistic and grateful is another coping mechanism showed by the

informants. Informant showed positivity in reaching his goal amidst all the trials in

life. When bombarded with different struggles relavant to academic, informant

emphasized gratefulness towards his loved ones that never cease to take care of

him and his siblings. Informant chose to think positive thoughs that would help him to

gain interest and focus in his studies. Linley and Joseph (2004) mentioned that

children in extreme and non-conducive environments had a positive development,

despite an unpleasant experience.

Good memories are to be remembered. Reminiscing happy memories when

the family was still complete is a coping mechanism of students in dealing hardships

relating to school stuff. Informant goes back to the past that involves happy moments

because it gives a feeling of happiness and inspiration to face tribulations.

Insights and Realizations after all the Experiences in Life. The junior high

school students shared their insights and realizations after all the experiences in life

relevant to being a product of dysfunctional family. Out of the responses, themes

were drawn out. These are focus on positive things, not to repeat history, stick

together no matter what, family is important, and pursuing studies is important.

Informants shared their insights and realizations which is to focus on the

positive things amidst tribulations. Having positive outlook in life is important to

shield their emotions against negative environment. Life always entails pain and
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harships that is why dwelling on the negativity will not do anything good. As a matter

of fact, it weakens a person physically, emotionally and mentally. Individuals from

dysfunctional family tend to seek attention and happiness from friends and peers.

Focusing on the things that manifest positivity in life such as improving oneself is an

ingsight that was emphasized by the informants.

Another insight gained by the informant is to not repeat history. One of the

informant disclosed that when the time comes in which he would build his own

family, he wanted his family to never experience what he had gone through.

Informant stressed his desire to create his own complete family in the future and to

not allow his family to experience pain and hardships brought about by dysfunctional

family.

No matter what trials spouses get to face, there should be no leaving. One of

the informants shared her own insight and realization after going through

experiences that couples should deal every challenges and victories together every

step of the way.

In addition, most of the informants stressed the importance of family. Having

been able to experience a complete family which eventually becomes broken,

informants were able to compare the feeling and the situation. They emphasized the

value of having complete family for it gives them a different level of happiness and

contentment. According to Roostin (2018), families can also be interpreted as small

social groups consisting mostly of fathers, mothers, and children, which has a

profound effect on children's socialization process.

 120

Lastly, pursuing studies is a realization shared by the informants.

Experiencing financial incapacity and inspired by their current situation, informants

realized how important to actually pursue and finish studies. The notion that

education is a ticket to success and be able to rise from their situation was instilled

in their minds. Also, they have the desire to pursue and finish studies because they

want to give back to their parents by helping them in the future and they believe that

they wil be able to do this if they finish studies and get a job. Their current situation

does not define their future. Lansky (2000) stated that some children perform better

in school as an attempt to shut out problems at home.

Plans and Dreams in Life. The junior high school students shared plans and

dreams in life. Out of the responses, themes were drawn out. These are to finish

studies, to land a job, give back to parents and family, parents to get back together,

and not to repeat history in the future family.

Every student dream of finishing studies for it is one of the tickets to succeed

in life. Junior high school informants shared their plan and dream of finishing studies.

They wanted to rise above from the current situation by finishing studies. They

emphasized their desire to really reach their dream by trying all the means to provide

their needs in their studies as long as it is good. They envision a life where they are

the one who works to provide the needs of their family and to pay off the sacrifices

made by parent/s.

After finishing studies, individuals seek a job. Landing to a job where they fit in

is what the dream stressed by the informants. A job where they have been dreaming
 121

to land and pays well wherein they can afford their wants and needs in life. To be

financially independent and stable in the future is what truly they wanted.

Furthermore, informants dream of finishing studies and landing a job because

they wanted to pay back parents sacrifices and struggles. By the time comes that

they are financially stable they wanted their parents to just rest while they are

working to provide parents’ needs and wants. One of the informants said that she

would be equal in helping her parents even if they are separated. According to Ahron

(2007), the effort and care that parents put into establishing their post separation

families are crucial and will pay off over the years in their many benefits to the

children.

Another plan and dream in life shared by the informants is to have their

parents get back together. Some of the informants admitted that it is kind of

impossible but still it is what they dream. They dream of making their family complete

again.

Thus, a dream of making a broken family complete again is relevant to

another dream and plan of the informants which is to never repeat history in their

future family. building their own family is part of the informants’ dream in life and they

do not plan of following the same path of their parents and allow their own family to

experience the same pain and struggles they have undergone.

Implications for Practice

Based on the foregoing conclusion, the following implications for practice are

hereby formulated:
 122

On challenges encountered by the student at home after parents’ separation.

The journey of students from dysfunctional family seems like any typical journey, but

if you listen closely to their life stories, truly they have so much to tell. Children are

the ones who are greatly affected when parents separate. Their emotional, physical,

mental and social aspects are at risk. When these aspects are damaged, it affects

their day to day lives. Teachers and advisers should put these types of students as

one of the priorities in monitoring their performance regularly at least once a month.

This will help them detect students’ problems. Guidance counselors may aid and

counseling session for those registered counselors to these students who are

emotionally unstable and mentally distress. Further, initiating school programs and

activities that would foster social skills; develop self confidence as well as self-

esteem is essential.

On challenges encountered by the student related to studies after parent’s

separation. Bullying is a worldwide dilemma in school and it is one of the notable

challenges experienced by students from dysfunctional families as discussed above

in the findings of this study. Bullying can aggravate the emotional instability of

students. It can provoke the negative feeling they bear that loses their interest to go

to school.

Schools must strengthen the anti-bullying act by integrating it in all subject

areas. Schools may organize activities such as symposiums to help students equip

with the knowledge and awareness regarding the situation. Parents must attend the

symposium for them to educate and discipline their children about the possible
 123

outcome of bullying; and that students from dysfunctional families need more love

rather than discrimination.

On the insights of students relevant to the experiences in life. Schools may

develop and implement proper programs in order to promote family related

enhancement activities that would address the needs of the students living in

dysfunctional families. Organizing family day which integrates talks from adequate

resource speaker in order to instill the young minds of the students the importance of

family is also significant. These activities may influence the direction and decision in

life of students from complete and dysfunctional families when it comes to building

their own family in the future.

Implications for Future Research

The following implications are considered for future researchers:

First, the study suggests further research be conducted to substantiate these

responses using greater number of participants. The greater the number of

participants the more life stories will be explored and unfolded.

Second, as a researcher, I suggest to include other schools as part of your

research locale. This will allow investigating and exploring more stories about the

phenomenon.

Third, the study conducted in a public school, further research could be done

to explore the same phenomenon in private schools.

Lastly, another research could be conducted to discover how teachers

facilitate and monitor students from dysfunctional families.

 124

Concluding Remarks

Based on the data I have gathered, different experiences of students from

dysfunctional familes were explored and unfold. They have shared their struggles,

inspirations, coping mechanism, insights and their dreams in life.

As a researcher, I was able to explore untold stories and experiences of the

students from dysfunctional families. I was moved as I got to see the pain and hopes in

their eyes as they share their lived experiences. Coping from such family is not that easy.

There are many adversities as they face the demands of life. Their longing of a complete

family affects their behavior and even their perception in life. This is something that

teachers and guidance counselors must take into account. Thus, a regular conversation

with the guidance counselor or adviser must be done to help monitor these students.

Family is the backbone of society however, broken families nowadays are common

but it does not mean that it is fine to conform to it. I believe that to cause a separation is a

choice. To end up into a dysfunctional family is the outcome of the choice made. It is a

choice to commit an action against the will of your spouse and it is a choice for a spouse to

forgive the other spouse. It is normal in a relationship to face with problems. However,

every problem has a solution and separation is not one.

Further, it is important to educate the students and teach them the value and

importance of having complete family and it can be done through series of talks and

activities that foster love and forgiveness. These can have great impacts on how they

perceive and live their life.

 125

I believe that this study would enable to educate and open the minds of the

students, parents and other people around on their view on individuals from dysfunctional

families. Understanding and sympathy would take place.

 126

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Appendices

Appendix A: Endorsement Letter

 135

Appendix B: Approval Letter from the Schools Division Superintendent

 136

Appendix C: Permission Letter to the School Head

 137

Appendix D: Interview Guide

COPING FROM THE PAIN: A MULTIPLE CASE STUDY OF STUDENTS

FROM DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

INTERVIEW GUIDE
1. What experiences did the informants have in the separation of their
parents?

1.1. How would you describe your family before the separation of your
parents?
1.2. What are your unforgettable experiences in the family before and
during the separation of your parents?

2. What were the challenges encountered by the informants after the

separation of their parents?

2.1. What challenges did you encounter at home after the separation of
your parents?
2.2. What challenges have you encountered in your studies after the
separation of your parents?
2.3. How did these challenges affect you and your studies?

3. How did the informants cope with the challenges brought about by the
separation of their parents?

3.1. How did you cope with the challenges that you encountered at
home?
3.2. How did you cope with the challenges that you encountered relating
to your studies?

4. Based on experiences, what insights did the informants gain and what
realizations did they arrive at?

4.1. What are your insights and realizations after going through all your
experiences?
4.2. Despite what you have been through, what are your plans or
dreams in life?
 138

Appendix E: Summary of Validation Result

Name of Researcher: JOYCE SHEENA FAITH G. TORRES

Degree Enrolled: MAED-EDAD
Title of Research: COPING FROM THE PAIN: A MULTIPLE CASE
STUDY OF STUDENTS FROM DYSFUNCTIONAL
FAMILY

TALLY SHEET FOR VALIDATION

Expert 1 Expert 2 Expert Expert 4 Expert 5 DESCRIPTIVE
Item 3 RATING
s
1 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
2 3 4 4 4 4 Good
3 3 4 4 4 4 Good
4 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
5 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
6 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
7 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
8 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
9 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
10 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
11 4 4 4 4 3 Good
12 4 4 4 4 4 Excellent
13 3 3 4 4 4 Fair
Panel of Validators:
 139

Appendix F: Informed Consent Form

 140

CURRICULUM VITAE

JOYCE SHEENA FAITH G. TORRES

Purok 5, Magangit,
New Bataan, Davao De Oro
[Link]@[Link]
joycetorres16@[Link]
0905-219-0642 / 0939-592-5905

PERSONAL INFORMATION
Civil Status : Single
Nationality : Filipino
Religion : Roman Catholic
Date of Birth : January 27, 1996
Place of Birth : Magangit, New Bataan, Davao De Oro
Parents : Joel P. Torres
: Tessie G. Torres
Siblings : Mark Ervein Jay G. Torres
: Clark Kenneth Joel G. Torres
: Jassy Lou Katleen T. Baugto
: April Christy Mae T. Caburnay
Address : Purok 5, Magangit, New Bataan, Davao De Oro
 141

EDUCATIONAL ATTAINMENT
Graduate School : Master of Arts in Education
Major in Educational Administration
Assumption College of Nabunturan
Poblacion, Nabunturan, Davao De Oro

Tertiary : Bachelor of Science in Office Administration

Major in Computer Secretarial Education
Honorable Mention

: Bachelor of Secondary Education

Education Units
Assumption College of Nabunturan
Poblacion, Nabunturan, Davao De Oro

Secondary : Nabunturan National Comprehensive High School

Poblacion, Nabunturan, Davao De Oro

Elementary : San Isidro Elementary School

Upper Magangit, New Bataan, Davao De Oro

WORK EXPERIENCES

February 4, 2019 – present : Teacher I

Department of Education
Division of Davao De Oro
Camanlangan National High School –
Magangit Integrated School

June 1 2015 – May 31, 2018 : Office Assistant

Graduate School Department
Assumption College of Nabunturan
Poblacion, Nabunturan, Davao de Oro
ELIGIBILITY
: Licensure Examination for Teachers
 142

September 25, 2016

: Civil Service Professional

October 15, 2015