[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)

ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills

Business Messages (Student Version)

Student Version

Business Messages
Memo / Email / Letter

Aims

1. to introduce the format/layout of formal letter, memo/email, fax, including all

necessary components for each type of document

2. to understand the paragraph flow of different types of business letters

3. to be familiar with standard business phrases for formal written

communication

4. to avoid common language mistakes in business correspondences

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 [Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Understanding and Writing Formal Business Messages

Memorandum (Memo)
The abbreviation of memorandum is ‘memo’. A memo is a short written message that
we sent to colleagues in the same company. It is used at all levels of an organization.
It is sent by bosses to their staff to instruct or inform them. It is sent by one colleague
to another to request a favour or to make suggestions. It can act as formal or informal
means of communication. Nowadays, memos are mostly replaced by emails.
Use either the name of the person or their
To / From / Date / Subject as position in the organization, or both, e.g.:
typical memo heading.
To: Wilson Tam, or

H & K Company To: Marketing Supervisor

Memo To: Wilson Tam, Marketing Supervisor

Date should be either be written

To: Wilson Tam, Marketing Supervisor Day-Month-Year e.g. 5
From: Timmy Cheng, Staff Development Manager September 2020 or Month-Day-
Date: 5 September 2020 Year e.g. September 5, 2020
Subject: Presentation Workshop
Subject line should be clear and
easy to understand. A noun
A presentation workshop will be held from 10:00 to 12:00 on 12th
phrase is always used for subject
October 2020. An instructor will be invited to help staff improve heading.
their presentation skills. Please encourage your team members
to join the workshop, and kindly let me know if anyone will not
be able to attend. Salutation is not necessary.
However, some people still
Thank you for your help. prefer to use it.

Formulaic closing phrase is not

necessary. However, if you have
requested somebody to do
something, you may end your
message Thank you for your
help or Thank you for your
cooperation in this matter.

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

MEMO

From: Managing Director Date: 15 September 2020

To: All staff

Re: Password for General Office

Please note that starting next Monday, a new password will be needed to enter the
General Office. For security reasons, the password will be changed once in two
months. Please do NOT disclose the password to anyone who is not a staff in our
company. You will be given the password by the end of this week. In case you forget
the password, please contact Miss Agnes Wu, Administrative Officer at ext.112.

Thank you for your cooperation.

There is no signature at the end of
a memo. This might be replaced
by a clearly written version of
your name, your initials, or
nothing at all.

Task:

You are a Human Resources Manager. Write a memo to tell employees that they will
not receive any hard copy of the monthly salary or MPF statement. Instead, they will
only receive them through emails.

Excellent Company Limited

Memo
To:
From:
Date:
Subject:

Please note that ______________________________________________________

starting ________________. You can view, _____________ and
__________________________________ for your record. No
_______________________________________ for the month of October 2007
and thereafter will be _________________ to you.
____________________________________________, please ______________
Mr. David Lee at ext.182.

Thank you ____________________________.

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Suggested Answer

Excellent Company Limited

Memo
To:
From:
Date:
Subject:

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 [Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

E-mail
E-mail, like memos is used at all levels of an organization. With the advent of electronic
mail in many companies, people can send each other messages instantly through
networked computer terminals on their desks. E-mail allows communication between
anyone anywhere on the internet, the global communication network.

Same as memo, the subject heading

should be clear and concise. A You must use the email address. Date and time are automatically
noun phrase is usually used. inserted by the computer when
you create a new message.

The cc (carbon copy) is followed

Subject: Purchase of New Air-Conditioning System by a list of names to which you
From: Ivy Chan ivychan@[Link] wish to send instantly a copy of
To: Fiona Li fionali@[Link] your message to other than the
Date: Thursday, 27 September 2020 15:36:28 + 0800 primary recipient.
cc: Raymond Pak
bcc: If you do not want the recipient
Attachments: to know that you are sending
copies of your message to other
people, you can use the bcc
(blind copy) list. However, it is
Hi Fiona not recommended as it may be
considered rude and sneaky.
Our company is planning to purchase a new air-conditioning
system for the conference room.
You can attach something to
Could you please send us quotations and catalogues? We need the your e-mail.
system that has a long guarantee, and it would be good if we could
Salutation is not necessary in
pay by installments. email. You can use an informal
and friendly greeting, e.g.’ Hi,
We need the system installed by the end of this year. Please kindly Fiona’, ‘Dear Fiona’. If the e-
let us know the details by e-mail. mail is written in a formal
business tone, you must put ‘Ms
Thanks. Fiona Li’.

Ivy Chan If you send your message to a

group, you may say ‘Dear all’.
Service Manager
Sunshine Company
You may end your message
Thanks a lot if you have
requested somebody to do
something; or I look forward to
receiving the information
about … soon if you have
You should include your name,
requested for information.
job title and company’s name
at the end of the message. Some Many e-mail messages end with
e-mail software packages allow Best Regards, Regards, Best
you to insert your signature. Wishes or Thanks. Cheers is
used to close a message to
5 friends.
[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task:

You are Fiona Li. You have just received an e-mail sent by Ivy Chan. Write a reply e-
mail to her.

Subject:
From:
To:
Date:
cc:
bcc:
Attachments:

Thank you for _____________________________________________. We are

pleased to provide our _____________________________________.

Enclosed ___________________________________________________ of the

new models of our air-conditioning systems. We
____________________________ Model No. GLD380 as it is
______________________ and ____________________________.

Would it ____________________________ our sales representative, Mr. Joe Chan,

to meet you next week to ____________________________? He
______________________________________any queries that you may have about
the air-conditioning systems.

Mr. Joe Chan will call you tomorrow to __________________________________.

He _____________________________ on 2683-5547. We ___________________
soon.

_____________
_____________
_____________
Golden Company Limited

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Suggested Answer:

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 [Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Fax Message
A fax message is quick, and informal or formal communication, usually with details of
recipient (left hand side) and sender (right hand side) at the fax head such as recipient's
name and fax number, sender's name and contact number, date, number of pages etc.

Luxury Jewelry Shop

Use letterheaded
12 Mody Street
paper, which show the Tsim Sha Tsui
company’s name, Kowloon, Hong Kong
address, telephone and Tel: 2784-8484 Fax: 2784-8406 [Link]
fax numbers, and
website. FACSIMILE TRANSMISSION SHEET

To: Amy Kwok, Secretary From: Jimmy Au, Manager

Letterheaded paper Organisation: Harbour City Organisation: Luxury Jewellery Shop
includes a series of Your Ref.: Our Ref.: JA/sl
boxes at the top, into Fax No.: 2399-6145 Tel No.: 2784-8406/ Ext 545
which details are typed. Date: 20 August 2020 Fax No.: 2784-8484
Ref No. is optional.
Subject: Show Room and Shuttle Bus Service Booking
It is important to state the
number of pages to This message consists of 1 page(s) (including this page).
indicate if the fax received Please inform the sender if the fax received is incomplete.
is completed.
We are a jewellery shop in Hong Kong. We are holding a jewellery
exhibition this coming November and about 1,000 visitors from
Salutation is optional. You
may use: Switzerland will be invited to our exhibition. We would like to book a
showroom from your building for 5 days starting from 1 November.
Dear Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms Au
Dear Sir or Dear Madam Could you please let us know if there will be a showroom available from
1 to 5 November? We are also interested in your shuttle bus service.
Dear Sir/Madam
Since our visitors will stay at different hotels in Hong Kong, it would be
Dear Sirs more convenient to pick them up from their hotels to the showroom.
Structure of the body is
basically the same as We would be grateful if you could fax us all the information.
that of a business letter.
Regards
Complimentary close is not Jimmy Au
required but you may use
Yours sincerely in
conjunction with the
salutation Dear
Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms or Yours You can sign for
faithfully in conjunction yourself in a fax
with the salutation Dear Sir message.
or Dear Madam/ Dear
Sir/Madam/ Dear Sirs. Yu
can also use Regards, or
Best Regards as closing.
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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task:
Write a fax message to reply to Jimmy Au.

Harbour City
3 - 27 Canton Road
Tsim Sha Tsui
Hong Kong
Tel: 2399 1234 Fax: 2399 6145 [Link]

FACSIMILE TRANSMISSION SHEET

To: From:
Organisation: Organisation:
Your Ref.: Our Ref.:
Fax No.: Tel No.:
Date: Fax No.:
Subject:
Page No.: page(s) (including this page).

We _______________________________________________________ enquiring about

________________________________. The terms, rental rates and booking form are
________________________________________.

_________________________to let you know that the showroom will be ____________

between 1 and 5 November. However, we are sorry that we
_____________________________ you the shuttle bus service since we have only one
shuttle bus which has already been reserved for picking up our visitors during the period
of your exhibition.

_________________________ fill in _____________________________ attached and

________________________ by this Friday? ___________________________ to
contact us at any time if you _______________________________.

__________________________________ in our service.

____________
_________

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Suggested Answer:

Harbour City
3 - 27 Canton Road
Tsim Sha Tsui
Hong Kong
Tel: 2399 1234 Fax: 2399 6145 [Link]

FACSIMILE TRANSMISSION SHEET

if dont know the nome ,

wrire sir or madan

⽂字
⽂字

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 [Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Letter
When we write a business letter, we should keep in our mind the importance of clarity,
courtesy and conciseness. Since any letter should be written for the recipient, it is
necessary put yourself in the position of the recipient, to consider what he/ she wants
to know and to show that you are willing to take his/ her views into consideration.
block

Hope Music Ltd

Full Block 26 Sha Tsui Road, Tsuen Wan, New Territories
Tel: 2456 1588 Fax: 2456 4589 Email: hope@[Link]

july 2 , 2024 -> is chinese and ed

25 July 2007
date 2 july ,2024 -> us
Mr Patrick Yeung
Sales Representative
Sunlight Production Ltd Threat
360 Shun Fung Street
Chai Wan

Dear Mr Yeung

Faulty CDs Delivery

Thank you for delivering our consignment of 5 boxes of CDs on 23 July 2007.

problem We have just examined the contents of this consignment and have discovered that all the CDs are defective
and cannot be played.

Unfortunately, as you know, our customers have placed the order with us several weeks ago. We would
respon appreciate it if you would replace the faulty CDs within one week.

We hope you understand our concern in this matter, and that it will be possible to continue our good business
relationship.

Yours sincerely
Raymond Leung
Raymond Leung
Assistant Manager

RL/jm

cc: J. Tam (Manager)

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Layout and Format

 Full-blocked Layout

The full-blocked style with open punctuation can be used for letters, fax messages,
memos and e-mails. In full-blocked style, each paragraph starts at the left margin, and
you should use single spacing within paragraphs, and double spacing between
paragraphs.

 Open Punctuation

No full stops are used in the receiver’s address, date, salutation, complimentary close
or enclosure sections except in the main body of the message.

 Reference Intitials

The reference is made up of the initials of the person who dictated the letter or fax (in
upper case), and those of the person who typed it (in upper or lower case). A file or
departmental reference may also be included.
Dictator: David Wong Typist: Susan Cheng File reference: 358
DW/sc or DW/sc/358

 Date

The date should be based on either of the following models:

UK: 18 September 2020 (Day-Month-Year), or
US: September 18, 2020 (Month-Day-Year)

 Do not use an abbreviated form of the date, such as 18.9.20

 Do not write abbreviated ordinal numbers, such as 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.
 Do not separate the month and year with a comma if you use the UK style.
 Do not shorten the spelling of the month, such as Jan, Feb, Mar, etc.

 Receiver’s address

The name and address of the recipient should be typed on separate lines. You should
include the full name of the addressee, his/ her job title, the full name of the company
and its address. Use the courtesy titles: Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms appropriately. In the case
of a fax, only the name of the company and the fax number are needed.

 Salutation

Dear Mr/ Mrs/ Miss/ Ms is used if you know the surname and the person’s gender.
Dear Ms. is used when you do not know whether a woman is married.
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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Dear Sir or Dear Madam is used if you are writing to a specific job title, e.g., Sales
Manager, etc. and you know the gender of the receiver.
Dear Sir/ Madam is typed if you are not sure of the gender of the receiver.
Dear Sirs is used if the letter is addressed to a department or an organization.
Dear May is used if you know the person well.

 Subject Line

The subject line should be neither too general nor too specific. A subject appears one
line space below the salutation. It may be underlined or made bold. It is sometimes
written in upper case or initial capitals. Sometimes the word ‘Subject’ is left out, or
replaced by ‘Re’.

 Complimentary Close

Yours faithfully is used only with Dear Sir or Madam/ Dear Sir/ Madam/ Dear Sirs and
Yours sincerely is used with Dear Mr/ Mrs./ Miss/ Ms. For US style, Yours truly or
Truly is used.

Exercise: Put the missing openings and closings.

1. The Manageress 2. Ms K Liu

Rich Bank Delicious Restaurant
Thailand France

Dear _________________ Dear _________________

Yours _________________ Yours _________________

3. Dear Tom 4. Mr P Wong

19 Nathan Road
________________ Kowloon

Dear _________________

Yours ________________

5. Top International Incorporation 6. R Tong

139 Oxford Street Star Company Limited
London Kowloon

Dear _________________ Dear _________________

Yours ______________ Yours _________________

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Suggested Answers:

Layout Styles

There are a few common layout styles for business letters:

* Full-blocked (most commonly used)
* Blocked
* Semi-blocked

Study the sample letters provided and identity the styles they follow.

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Fully-blocked Style (most common)

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Blocked Style

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Semi-blocked

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[Type here] School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task - Consider the 3 versions below and answer the following questions.

1. Which version do you prefer?

2. Why?
3. What are some of difference you notice?

Sample 1 –
Sample 2 –
Sample 3 –

Sample 1
Re: Mailing List

With reference to the letter from your goodself dated 19 July 16, please be
advised that your incoming correspondence has been duly noted and will not be handled
by us, but will be forwarded to the relevant section. Enclosed herewith is our
Department’s new organizational structure with our new mailing address, effective
from 5 August 16, which should allow you to direct your queries to the appropriate
bodies.
**********

Sample 2
Re: Mailing List
too short
Thank you for your enquiry on 19 July 16. As our department has been
reorganized since 5 August 16, I have forwarded your letter to the relevant section.

I have enclosed a copy of our Department’s structure and mailing address. I

hope they are useful to you.
**********

Sample 3
Re: Mailing List

Thank you for your enquiry on 19 July 16. Indeed our department provides
services in cases described by you.

To ensure we fulfill our performance pledge more efficiently, our department

has been reorganized since 5 August 16. Consequently, I have forwarded your letter
to the relevant section, i.e. Customer Care Section, and they will answer you direct
soon.

Since you might find our reorganized structure and mailing address useful in
future, I have enclosed a copy for your reference.

We are happy to be of further service to you.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Communication in the Workplace

Task 1 - Discuss the following questions in small groups.

1. Why do you think good communication is essential in an organization?

- quicker problem solving

- stronger decision making
- increase productivity

Any other suggestions?

2. Pick two jobs you might like to have after you graduate. What communication skills do you
think would be the most important to you in these positions?

- working in teams
- preparing, conducting, attending meetings
- presenting

Any other suggestions?

3. What would be the most efficient way (phone call, interview, memo, or newsletter) of
handling the following communication situations? Briefly explain your answers.

a. Informing everyone in the company of your department’s new procedure for

purchasing equipment.

b. Leaving final instructions for your secretary to follow while you are out of town

c. Disciplining an employee for violating the company rules

d. Announcing the installation of new computers in the company.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task:
Identify and name the components of the business letter below.

reference initials / the message / complimentary close / the signature / the salutation / enclosures /
the subject line / copies (carbon copies) / your reader’s address (inside address) / letterhead / the
date

Integrated Display Technology

285 Lockhart Road
Wanchai Hong Kong
Tel:2821 5128 fax:2865 9031

18 June 2020

Dr Sam Chiu
Account Executive
City Electronics
Sunshine shopping Arcade
215 Nathan Road
Kowloon

Re: Integrated Circuit

Dear Dr Chiu

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxx

Yours sincerely

George Hung

George Hung
Sales Representative

GH/jm

Enclosures 2

cc: Mr James Fung (Account Manager)

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Bad Writing Samples

Task:
Identify the problems of this email and re-write it.

9, Semptember.2020

Dear Sir/Madam.

Student Chan Siu Ming KiKI(Student ID:55552222) would like to drop Creative Writing (12324
LAC24202 CE1) & (12325 LAC24202 TE1) . It is because that My Programmer AABCJC
translated to AABCSEC in Year 1 so I must take Year3 SEM A to finish my Programmer. Hence, If
I drop Creative Writing in Year2 SEM A and take this in Year 3 SEM A , My schedule will be
comfortable and I will have time to prepare my [Link], I can control my schedule better then
now.

I hope that Division of Languages and Communication can submit my application . Thank you.

Your Faithfully,
Chan Siu Min Kiki

Your answer:

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Suggested Answer:

Task:
Identify the problems of this email and re-write it.

Wonder Consultants
4-8-2020

Dear Dr. Paul Wong,

Invite you to be guest speaker

It is our horror to invite you to be the guest speaker at our seminar on business communication. As
we know, your expert would certainly benefit our staff.

The details of the seminar are as follow:

Date: 13 / 11/ 2020
Time: 2-4
Venue: Seminar Room B, ABC Building
Expected number of participants: 100-150
Duration of speech per speaker: around 30’ -40’

There will be three guest speakers, including Mr. Patrick Ho and Ms. Jenny Fung. We would like
you to be the last speaker if it is alright for you. Please let me know if you would be available for
the seminar or not.

Thank you very much for your attention.

Yours faithfully
Alice Lee

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Your answer:

Suggested Answer:

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task:

From the samples you have collected, identify the components of business letters:

* Letterhead
* Reference no./code
* Sender’s address & Date / letterhead
* Recipient’s name and address / inside address
* Salutation
* Subject heading:
* Introduction
* Body
* Conclusion
* Complimentary close
* Signature
* Name and title
* Reference initials of sender/ typist
* c.c. & Enclosure/Attachment

Task: Discuss the following questions based on the letter samples collected.

1. With a partner discuss one document.

2. What kind of a document is it?
3. What is the social background to the document, including history?
4. How is it used in an organization?
5. Who would use it?
6. Would it be kept (filed), or thrown away?
7. Who is /are the main audience(s) for the message?
8. What is the central message of the document?
9. What is the purpose of the message? Can you underline it?
10. How would you describe its tone? Is it appropriate for the audience?
11. What are the specific action steps in the message? Underline them.
12. Underline the specific references
* time references * person references
* place references * content references
13. How would you evaluate the message? Is it clear & concise?

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Letter of Enquiry - Suggested Flow:

1. State your request – what do you want?

I would like to know about…
We are interested in…

Reason for writing – how did you hear about the receiver?
We have been satisfied with your service.
We saw an advertisement of your products in the ………….

2. Introduce Yourself
As you may have already known, we are…
We have been providing…for…years.
Our business involves the……….
We have a well-established reputation for providing………

Give some context to your request – why do you want the information?
Because of …………, we are trying to………………
We aim to ……………. and are therefore ……………….
…………….. have led us to ……………….

3. Asking information:

Please let us know whether you would ………

I would appreciate it if you could ……..
Could you please ………
Would it be possible that …………
I wonder if you could …………..
Would you guarantee ……..

4. Close
 Express appreciation
Thank you for your help/assistance/cooperation in this matter.
 Express enthusiasm
We look forward to hearing from you soon.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task:

Try the following writing activity, be prepared to present your letter to the class.

 Your manager has asked you to contact a web-design company in order to upgrade the
company website.

 Write a letter of enquiry with all necessary components of business letter to Jacky Chen at
Spider Web Design.
• Give your company’s web address
• Say why the website needs upgrading
• Say how you think it should be changed
• Ask for an estimate of how much it will cost
• Make up necessary details

Word count: around 100 -150 words

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Suggested Answer

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Flow of Letter of Reply

Subject

Re: ____________________________

1. Background
⚫ refer to the enquiry letter you received
⚫ repeat the subject you were asked

2. Details
⚫ provide the information (attach the information the sender requested)
⚫ answer the questions
⚫ promote your products/ services
⚫ promote your strength

3. Action Statement
⚫ invite the sender to take a follow-up action
For example: *offer discounts
*guarantee delivery
*provide payment methods
*This *provide an order form/ application form
example can *arrange a meeting
be used for all *assure the sender the good service/ quality/ ….

situations. Example:

Don’t use all the examples. Please use the one/ ones which is/ are appropriate to your
situation.

4. Closing
(e.g. We hope you find the information is useful. Please feel free … …)

5. Complimentary Close

6. Signature Line

7. Reference Initials

8. Enclosures (if any)

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Sample Reply Letter

Newway Education Centre

33 Main Road, Vancouver, BC
Canada

13 November 2020

Mr John Ko
Education Officer
City Education Consulting Company
Hong Kong

Dear Mr Ko

Re: Information of Business School in Vancouver

We received your letter of 12 November enquiring about the courses we offer and background of our
school. We would be glad to provide the information that you requested.

Enclosed please find the brochures and graphic information about the structure and popularity of the
courses we currently offer. The most popular course our school offers is Sales & Administration with
a total of 25% of students. Business English is the second most popular course with 20% of students,
closely followed by Computer Skills. We have the same percentage of students studying Accounting
and Secretarial Course. All these courses have been favourably commented. Besides, you will find
different nationalities of students in our school. A large proportion of students come from Asian
countries. The majority of the Asian students are from Hong Kong. We also have the same proportion
of Taiwanese and Singaporean students. There are a small number of Chinese, Malaysian, Japanese
and Thai students. Only 4 % of students’ nationalities are European and Canadian. Studying in our
institution can broaden students’ horizons and this is also a good opportunity for students to learn
different cultures and meet people of different nationalities.

We assure you that we provide the best quality of education and the best learning environment for
students. Would it be possible for us to arrange a meeting to discuss the details of our co-operation?
We will send our consultant Mr. David Tam to Hong Kong to meet you. He will also be able to
answer any queries you may have. Please kindly let us know when you will be available for the
meeting.

We hope the above information is useful. Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions.
We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely
Chris Li
Chris Li
Sales Manager

CL/jm
Enc.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Letter Writing- Tone and Style

Task 1 - Decide whether the direct plan is appropriate for the following request letter.
Indicate in the brackets the function of the underlined text and paragraphs.

Dear Ms Chan

Further to our recent telephone conversation ( ), I am writing to ask if

your company would donate items ( ) to raise funds for the Human
Rights Concern Group (HRCG). These items will be sold at a bazaar at Kowloon
University on 12 to 14 February 2020.

As a final year communication student at Kowloon University, two classmates and

I are running a campaign to raise funds for HRCG, a registered charity in Hong
Kong. HRCG aims to provide care to terminally ill patients and their families
during their period of illness. ( )

Our fund-raising bazaar will have two objectives. First, it aims to introduce HRCG
to Kowloon University students, and second it aims to raise funds for the group.
With your sponsorship and by selling your donated items, we believe we can raise
our target of HK$20,000. ( ) If you have any questions, please contact
me at 6123-4567. Alternatively, you can send me your reply by fax to 2123-4567.
( )

Thank you for showing your support to the terminally ill in Hong Kong.
( )

Yours sincerely

Wendy

BA Communication Student

Kowloon University

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task:

Read the following three responses to the above letter of request and comment on their tone.

Letter A ( )

Thank you for your fax of January 11, 2020 regarding the captioned subject. However, as our
promotional budget has already been planned for the whole year, I regret to advise you that we
are unable to allocate extra budget to sponsor your function.

Thank you for your interest in AAA and may I take this opportunity to wish you every success in
the forthcoming event.

Letter B ( )

Thank you for your fax requesting sponsorship for your fund raising event for the Human Rights
Concern Group (HRCG).

As you can imagine, Ms Kong, we receive many requests from worthy groups for donations and
although we would like to participate in all worthwhile endeavors, we find the number of
requests always exceeds those we can accommodate.

Thank you again for thinking of BBB.

Letter C ( )

Thank you for your fax of January 11, 2020 addressed to Mr John Chan regarding the request
for sponsorship for the bazaar for the Human Rights Concern Group (HRCG) to be held from
February 12-14, 2016.

However, our budget has already been allocated for the year, and thus I regret to advise you that
we are unable to participate in your function.

I am sorry that we are unable to work with you on this occasion, but I hope that the event goes
well. In the meantime, please don’t hesitate to contact us again if we can be of assistance to you
at any time.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Task:

Comment on the tone of the following letters and underline expressions to support your claim.

Letter A ( )

Dear Mr Dillon

I am sorry that we are presently out of stock of black Nova flight bags and will be unable to fill
your order this time. An order has been placed with the manufacturer in the color you want, but
it will be at least ten days before we receive shipment.

I trust this delay will not inconvenience you.

Yours sincerely,

Letter B ( )

Dear Mr Dillon

Thank you for ordering a black Nova flight bag. The color you chose proved to be very popular,
and we quickly sold all we had in stock. However, we have placed a rush order for more and are
promised delivery within ten days. Yours will be shipped the same day our new supply arrives. I
know you will be delighted with this unique carry-on bag, Mr Dillon. It’s not only very
handsome, but incredibly rugged.

Yours sincerely,

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Standard Phrases in Business Letters

Task: After reviewing the following phrases, select some of them and create complete sentences in
business contexts.

The Start
Dear Frank
Dear Mr Chan
Dear Ms Lee
Dear Sir or Madam

The Reference
Thank you for your letter of 5 May 2005 asking for information about….
Regarding our meeting last week,…
With reference to your advertisement in…,
I refer to your fax of 10 January 2005 regarding…
We are pleased to learn that…
We have received your e-mail of 1 January 2005.

The Reason for Writing

I am writing to enquire about…
I am writing to apologise for…
I am writing to confirm…

Express Wishes
We would like to…
We would very much like to…
We would prefer to…
We would rather not…
We hope…

Requesting
Could you possibly…? (informal)
Could you please…? (informal)
I would be grateful if you could…
I would appreciate it if you could…
Please would/could you…
I would also like to know…
Could you let me know whether..? (informal)
Would you mind rearranging…(informal)
Please let us know when/how much/if…

Agreeing to Requests
I would be glad to…
I would be pleased to…
I am pleased to inform you that…

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Giving Bad News

Unfortunately,…
I am afraid that…
I regret that we are unable to…
We would like to point out that…
I must remind you that…
We do not appear to have received…
As you are aware, we are…
We seem not to have…
I regret to inform you that…
We are experiencing difficulties in …-ing…
We are aware of the problems, but unfortunately…
We appreciate your difficulties but…
I’m afraid we will not
We urgently need…
Please note that we now have approval to…
Please ensure that…

Clearing up Misunderstandings
We were under the impression to believe that…
We were not aware that…
We did not realize that…
There appears to be some misunderstanding about…
It appears that our teller made an error…

Expressing urgency
We shall be forced to…
It is essential that… as soon as possible…without further delay…by post

Expressing offers of help

We are willing to…
We are prepared to…
Would it be any help if we…
Would you like us to…

Apologising
We are sorry to learn that…
We regret to inform you that…
We sincerely apologise for…
Please accept our apologies for…
We apologise for the inconvenience caused to you.
Please accept our sincerest apologies.
We regret any convenience caused to our customers.

Giving Reassurance
We assure you that…
We will do our best to ensure that…
You may confidently leave the matter in our hands.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Asking for clarification

It is not clear whether…
We are not sure if…
We would be grateful if you could clarify this matter.

Making Suggestions
May I suggest that…
We propose to…
We are planning to…
I would suggest that you speak to…

Confirming
I would like to confirm the arrangements for…
Would you please confirm that…

Enclosing Documents (For letters)

I enclose…
We have enclosed…
I am pleased to enclose…

Attaching Documents (For emails and memos)

I attach…
I have attached…

Closing Remarks
Thank you for your help.
Please contact us again if you would like to get further information.
Please contact me on 1234 5678 if you have any questions.
Please feel free to call me if you have any questions.
Please let me know if you need any further information.
If you have any queries, please feel free to let me know.

Reference to future contact

I look forward to hearing from you soon.
I am looking forward to meeting you next Tuesday.
I look forward to receiving your order.
I look forward to welcoming you as our client.
I look forward to your reply.
I hope this information will help you.
We look forward to serving you.

The Close
Yours faithfully (if you don’t know the name of the person)
Yours sincerely (if you know the name of the person)
Best wishes/Regards (in emails, memos or faxes)
Best regards (close business contact in emails, memos or faxes)

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Proofreading
The following are the common mistakes students make in business writings:

 Incorrect tense
 Incorrect verb form
 Incorrect voice
 Incorrect use of to-infinitive/ gerund
 Incorrect part of speech
 Incorrect subject-verb agreement
 Incorrect singular/ plural noun
 Incorrect preposition
 Incorrect conjunction/ linking word/ connective
 Incorrect pronoun


Task:

There is ONE error in each sentence. Identify the error types and correct them.

1. We refer your letter dated 14 of May enquiring about our products.

2. We would appreciate it if you could sending us some information about the product.

3. I am looking forward to meet you soon.

4. Enclosed please find copy of the agenda.

5. I apologize for the miscommunicate between our company and the customers.

6. Where is the letter? I can’t find them.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

7. The message has forwarded to you this afternoon.

8. We would like inviting you to our exhibition to be held next month.

9. I phoned the manager yesterday and his secretary tells me that he was in the meeting.

10. He leaves the company early because he works very efficient.

11. She had been wait for her client for three hours but he did not turn up.

12. Please phone us to let us know the deadline and confirming the meeting.

13. The delivery was delayed because the late payment.

14. We would be grateful if you could send us a price list and offer me a discount.

15. Banks are responsible for issue bank statements to customers.

16. The computers has been moved to the new room.

17. We afraid of making mistakes in this report.

18. She must look at a newspaper every morning.

19. He decides to quit after he had received a complaint from a customer.

20. Could you please tell me where is the conference room?

21. The firm needs a reference from his former employor.

22. The meeting will be held in 28 November 2007.

23. What is name of your customer?

24. There will be over 50 participant joining the seminar.

25. When you return to the office, please reply letters to clients, meetings arrangement,and make
photocopies of the documents.

26. Electronic shopping becomes popular and customers can purchase goods in a convenience way.

27. The empty box and the glass is locked in the store room.

28. Immediate actions must take to solve the problems.

29. They will draft the terms of the contract and faxed them to us by this afternoon.

30. We discussed the details of the project beside planning a trip to London.

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Suggested Answers:

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 School of Arts and Humanities (ARH)
ENG3006 Advanced English Writing Skills
Business Messages (Student Version)

Further Writing Practices

Task 1 (Neutral News)

You are the Administration Officer of an organization selling health-care products. Your company
would like to organize a few training courses for its sales and management staff. It is well-known
that PST Training Company provides a large range of training courses to health-care organisations
in Hong Kong.

You need to write an enquiry letter to PST Training Company to enquire about its training courses,
the fee, schedule, location, and whether any discount is offered. Write an enquiry letter using an
appropriate format. You need to make up any other details in relation to company background,
training requirements, etc.

Task 2 (Bad News)

You work for the same organization as in Task 1. The company hired a firm of decorators to
renovate the main office. However, the service was not satisfactory. The ceiling was not painted and
the wrong colour was used for the woodwork. Write a letter of complaint to the manager of the firm,
insisting that they return to complete the job properly at no extra cost. Include the following points
in your letter:

* ceiling not painted

* wrong colour used for woodwork
* must return and finish the job properly

Write the letter using appropriate business letter format. You may make up any other details you
need.

References:

For further reading, you may refer to the following sources on which the contents of this module are
also based.

Banks, T. (2012). Writing for Impact. Cambridge University Press.

Bilbow, G. T. (1997). Business Writing For Hong Kong (2nd Edition). Longman Asia Limited.
Bilbow, G. T. (2015). Business Writing for Hong Kong (4th ed.). Pearson.
Bovee, C. L. & Thill, J. V. (2006) Business Communication Essentials (2nd ed.). Pearson.
Li, K. C. (2012). Effective Business Communication in English (3rd ed.). Pearson Education.
Purdue University (2020). Tone in business writing. Purdue Online Writing Lab. Retrieved from
[Link]
_business_writing.html

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