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RELATIONSHIPS STRENGTHENING RELATIONSHIPS
Why Trust Matters in Your Relationship and How to Build It
The importance of comfort, security, and loyalty can't be overstated
By Sanjana Gupta Updated on December 06, 2023
Reviewed by Ivy Kwong, LMFT
Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight
Table of Contents
Table of Contents
Are You in a Healthy Relationship? Take the Quiz
Why Trust Matters
Impact of Lack of Trust
How Do You Deepen Trust in a Relationship?
How to Rebuild Trust
There are few things as comforting as having a strong sense of trust in your
relationship, but it takes time and intentionality to develop.
To have trust in a relationship means that you feel a sense of security and loyalty
with your partner. According to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and
professor at Yeshiva University, it's the basis of a solid relationship.
“To trust means to rely on another person because you feel safe with them and have
confidence that they will not hurt or violate you. Trust is the foundation of
relationships because it allows you to be vulnerable and open up to the person
without having to defensively protect yourself,” says Romanoff.
At a Glance
Trust is an important pillar in relationships, and the lack of it can lead to
negativity, conflict, insecurity, depression, and anxiety. If your relationship is
lacking trust, it’s important to work with your partner to build it, so that you
can let your guard down and be vulnerable with each other.
If you are having difficulties resolving your trust issues with your partner, you
can seek help from a therapist or a couples counselor.
Why You May Have Trust Issues and How to Overcome Them
Are You in a Healthy Relationship? Take the Quiz
If you've got questions about your relationship, our fast and free quiz can help
you better understand if your partnership is rock solid or if it could use some
work.
This healthy relationship quiz was reviewed by Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD.
Why Trust Matters
Trust is a vital component in happy and successful relationships.1 Here's how it
can impact your relationship for the better.
The 10 Best Online Couples Therapy Services We Tried and Tested
Promotes Positivity
Trust is important in relationships because it allows you to be more open and
giving. If you trust your partner, you are more likely to be forgiving of their
shortcomings or behaviors that irritate you because overall you believe in them and
know they have your back.
Reduces Conflict
Trust also allows you to navigate conflict. When you trust your partner, you are
more willing to overlook problems or commit to finding solutions to issues because
you feel allied in areas that mean the most to you.
Even if your partner does something disappointing, you are more likely to give them
the benefit of the doubt and see the good in them if you trust them.
Increases Closeness
Establishing trust creates a strong bond and foundation to build on. Knowing you
can trust your partner promotes increased closeness and safety. When you trust one
another, you feel safe knowing that your partner has your back and can be relied
upon for comfort, care, and support.
Press Play for Advice On Navigating Conflict
Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast,
featuring Purple Heart recipient Craig Rossi and Fred, shares why it's OK to give
second chances. Click below to listen now.
Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts
5 Green Flags in Relationships
Impact of Lack of Trust
Trust takes time to build, and if your partner consistently fails to follow through
on promises or commitments, you will begin to have low expectations of them.
When your partner’s actions are not aligned with their words, you will begin to
learn that they are not trustworthy. Repeated violations or consistent hurtful
behaviors erode trust.
— SABRINA ROMANOFF, PSYD
Lack of trust can create many problems in your relationship.2 A lack of trust can
also affect your mental health in the following ways:
Lack of intimacy: When there is little trust in a relationship, intimacy tends to
decrease. When your partner is being deceitful, you will likely want to distance
yourself from them, both emotionally and physically.
Negativity: When you feel wronged by your partner, you may fixate on this feeling,
which will not only cause you to withdraw from them, but will also cause you to be
filled with anger towards them. This can stifle connection and closeness.
Insecurity: Lack of trust usually leads to insecurity in the relationship. In turn,
you will constantly doubt what your partner tells you and may react by becoming
more controlling, which can push them further away. For instance, incessantly
calling or texting your partner to keep tabs on them can drive them away.
Depression and anxiety: If there is little trust in your relationship, you might
experience higher levels of depression or anxiety because you will constantly
question whether your partner is lying or being deceitful.
Trouble concentrating: Lack of trust can lead to an inability to concentrate,
especially if you are constantly worrying or wondering what the other person is
actually thinking, feeling, or doing.
Distress: Not being able to trust your partner contributes to mental, emotional,
and physical distress, including betrayal, trauma, and emotional dysregulation.
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