Play Club Guide

for Parents

Learn more about our programs at [Link].

Dear Parents,
You probably have some great memories of playing as a kid.
Play may seem like a break from learning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — a time of deep,
intense learning cleverly disguised as fun.
Free play — play where kids decide what to do — is crucial for child development. Dr. Peter
Gray, a cofounder of Let Grow and author of one of the most popular college psychology
textbooks, says:
“No amount of things we give our kids or classes we enroll them in can compensate for
what they lose if we don’t allow them plenty of opportunity for free play.” (Check out his
TEDxTalk on this topic!)
When kids make their own fun, like playing tag, they get more exercise than in adult-run
sports. And when they organize their own games, from make-believe to basketball, they’re
learning how to communicate, compromise, cooperate, and control themselves — incredibly
important social-emotional skills.
How can we give our kids this free-play advantage? If you’re lucky enough to live where kids
run around the neighborhood, just let your kids join them. Encourage your family, friends and
neighbors to let kids spend time together without an adult calling the shots.
This packet includes tips for starting your own local Play Club, FAQ’s, and a template
you can copy to get the word out. We’ve also included instructions for some classic
outdoor games.
But more important is the reminder that kids learn best when they are most engaged and
excited. When adults direct an activity or solve the spats, a lot of the learning gets lost. It’s
the difference between being in the driver’s seat or the passenger seat. The driver learns the
route. The passenger…not so much.
In play, kids get practice in what in the most important skill of all: being able to get along
with other people.
What a gift to give our kids!

Lenore Skenazy, President

Let Grow Play Club How-To
GET READY! Enlist your families. Make a list of friends, neighbors, and colleagues who
have kids of various ages. An important component of a successful Let Grow Play Club is letting
kids of all ages play together. As Dr. Peter Gray has noted: “Mixed play offers opportunities for
learning and development not present in play among those close in age.” Young children learn
more physical, mental, and social skills from older kids than they can from just their peers, but
older kids learn equally important lessons in empathy and leadership when they’re with younger
kids. They are also often inspired by the imagination and creativity of their younger playmates.
PLAN. Back when kids roamed their neighborhood, the only planning for play was deciding
whose door to knock on. If you’re starting a Play Club, though, a little planning will keep
everyone safe and comfortable. Here are some things you will want to figure out:

Where? Someone’s yard is an obvious When? You can easily do a trial run first or
option. Parents could possibly rotate hosting set up a regular schedule, maybe weekly.
duties. The key is to not let the kids come How long each Play Club lasts is up to
inside! (Well, except for maybe bathroom you — or, really, the kids. Start with at
breaks.) Is there a convenient local park or least 90 minutes so they get into the flow.
playground? A nearby place kids can walk to A few hours is even better. In the early
on their own, meeting others along the way, days, kids might take a little time to warm
would be ideal. Maybe your neighborhood up and figure out what they want to do.
has a cul-de-sac or dead-end street? And (Remember: You aren’t providing activities
empty lots have played a starring role, too! or direction!) Pretty soon they’ll get really
engaged and won’t want to stop!

How many kids? The more the merrier,

What supplies should be available? though it’s probably best to start small.
Since the kids will make up their own You can always add more families or spin
games, use their imagination, and off more Clubs as you grow.
create their own rules, you shouldn’t
need much. Loose parts are best: balls,
sticks, lumber, buckets, scarves, an How many Play Club supervisors?
old suitcase, cardboard boxes, tires Schools and daycares have rules about the
— anything that could serve many ratio of adults to kids, but for a neighborhood
purposes. Junk! And chalk! Kids will get Play Club, one or two adults for up to 20
creative with whatever is available. You kids is probably enough. And the goal is not
might want to put together a Play Club to hover! Sit on a stoop and read, or chat! If
bin to take with you if you are using a more parents stick around to socialize, try
public place, and kids can always bring to keep everyone a good distance from the
things from home. It’s always smart to kids and remember that the parents’ job is
have a basic first-aid kit and sanitizer not to organize the games or get involved in
available. But don’ t make it complicated. disputes — check out our FAQ!
GET SET! Invite families to sign up. Decide if you need something formal. If you’re
a small group that already knows each other and has each other’s contact
information, you might not need anything more than an invitation and RSVP
by text, phone, email, or Google calendar. If kids will come without their
parents, which we encourage, then a list of Play Club families and some
emergency contact info should be shared. Send it by email or share it online
and save it on your cell phone.
Set the schedule. Whether you have rotating hosts or are meeting at a
local park, figure out the rotation for hosts and distribute the schedule. For
public locations where other people will be around, the kids need to know
who the adults in charge are, and the adults need to recognize which kids
they need to keep an eye on.
Agree on guidelines. Play Club should be loose and unstructured, and
any adults should disappear into the background, staying on the sidelines.
Take the time to chat with other parents, read a book, or scroll through your
favorite blog. (We have one to suggest!) You are there “just in case,” like a
lifeguard at the pool. Resist the urge to direct, help, or intervene. Comments
like “Be careful!” or “That’s too high!” can stifle a child’s natural desire to
push themselves and learn to assess risk.
GO PLAY! The kids know what to do. If they don’t, resist the urge to give
suggestions. You can request our Backyard Games cards to brush up on
how some classic games are played. Or make sure the kids have some
“loose parts.” But giving them ideas reinforces their expectation of adult
direction. Even if they stand around for a while, boredom will kick in and
that’s when they’ll start getting creative.
Play Club FAQ’s

What should I say when a child tattles? What about exclusion? Ironically,
You may have to bite your tongue and by imposing rules like, “No one can be
fight your instinct to jump in, especially if excluded,” we sometimes force kids to
your own child is involved. The key is to spend time with those they don’t like or who
acknowledge that you have listened while may even bully them. Allowing children to
being clear that you will not get involved. do what they want with whom they want
A really handy response is, “ Thank you for gives them time and space to relax, make
telling me that. How are you going to handle friends, and learn true socialization. Being
it?” This can be repeated until the child excluded can also help a child recognize
realizes you will not be stepping in. Then when their behavior is hurting their chances
stand back and watch them rejoin the play of fun. Then they can decide to adjust in
or choose another activity. If every adult order to rejoin the play or choose a different
provides a similar response to every child, activity — pretty important lessons for
you’ll likely see a pretty dramatic reduction getting along and learning to read people.
in tattling.

What if one of our kids has a conflict

with a non-Club kid? What an amazing
Do we need parents to sign something? learning opportunity. Do your best to
If your Play Club consists of families who are stand back and let them deal with it. If the
already friends and used to spending time other child has a parent nearby, you might
together, you may not need anything. Some casually stroll over, introduce yourself, and
groups have parents and kids take a pledge, say something like, “How about we see
like the one on the next page. Feel free to if they can figure this out on their own?”
make changes to ours or create your own. Certainly step in if there is any physical
violence, but children need to experience
some conflict to learn important social skills
What about bullies? There has never been and practice the art of negotiation without
a group in which every person felt on top of adults playing judge.
the world every moment, so we can’t expect
nirvana on the playground either. And yet,
Play Club is usually pretty free from drama.
What about injuries? It might seem
This is because the adults step back and
counterintuitive, but there are fewer injuries
allow the kids to resolve their differences.
when children are allowed to play freely
Veteran school psychologist Izzy Kalman
and are aware that they are in charge
notes, “When we step in and take the side of
of making their own risk assessments.
the victims against bullies, we are rewarding
Additionally, small “owies” help a child
kids for thinking and acting like victims. They
understand their own limits and develop
discover that the more upset they become,
resilience. Have some basic first-aid
the harder we fight for them, so it really pays
supplies available and use your own
to get upset.” Stepping back is refusing to
common sense if a child has more than a
pour fuel on the fire.
bruise or scrape.
Our
Play Club
Kid Pledge
I will play respectfully. I will not deliberately hit or physically hurt
another child.
I understand I need to get permission to leave the area.
I agree to listen to the adults. They’ll only get involved when they
need to, and then it’s my job to listen.

Parent Pledge
I understand that not all kids will be happy all the time at Play Club.
I agree that the adults will not intervene in the children’s
disagreements.
If my child deliberately hurts someone, they need to take a break.
I understand that this is a chance for my child to become more
resilient, resourceful, and mature.