COMING OUT: THE LIVED EXPERIENCES OF LGB COLLEGE STUDENTS WHO FEEL SUPPORTED BY THEIR PARENTS

Eric W. Price, M.A

1. Describe your internal coming out process. What was it like for you when you first realized you identified as LGB?

SEGMENT INITIAL CODE CATEGORY THEME

“...I’m confused and still don’t
understand myself during that time if
what I really want.” (JD)

“...when I was in Junior High School, Confused

I’m confused about my gender…”
(Josh)
“…I'm confused and scared because
I'm the only daughter…
“and maybe I was just denial…” (JD)

“...the first stage is the ‘in denial Denial Identity Crisis Feeling anxious about one’s identity
stage’” (Josh)

“...that was the time I realized that

there’s really something in my
identity…” (JD)

“We can feel that there’s something Identity

unique in our gender identity…I don’t
have to hide my identity” (Josh)

“...that’s why I said that maybe I am a

bisexual, and first it was difficult to
accept.” (JD)
Acceptance
“...as time passes by, when I started
Self-integration in the LGBTQ
accepting my gender, I became Gender/ Identity Acceptance
community
happier.” (Josh)

“I felt I had no choice but to embrace

this gender” (Josh) Embrace
“…But in the long run I accepted and
embrace myself and I come out to my
parents…”(JD)
“I assessed myself as part of this Part of this community
community (LGBTQ), there was a
part that made me sad at first…”
(Josh)

“… that’s why I said that maybe I am Bisexual

a bisexual…” (JD)

“…and I don’t know if my parents will Lesbian

accept me if I come out as a
lesbian…” (AJ)
“...but uhmm you will feel like you’re
not normal…” (JM) Not normal
“...you will feel like its not typical Authenticity Finding Uniqueness
because you must look like stubborn.” Not typical
(JM)

2. What was your relationship to your parents after you come out to them as LGB?
SEGMENT INITIAL CODING CATEGORY THEME
“Our relationship became better and
stronger…” (JD)
Become Strong
“Actually, it became stronger.”
(Josh)
“ I become more open to them” (JD)

“I became more open with them in Strong Relationship with parents after
Become open with parents Better Relationship
everything. Even when I enter a coming out
relationship, I open up to them.”
(Josh)
“Yes, our relationship is still okay…”
(JM)
Still okay
“…It's okay because they accepted
me completely…” (AJ)
“I can feel that there’s already
Acceptance
acceptance.” (Josh)
“...even my first relationship with the
same gender they really supported Found a genuine Support from family
Identity Support
me.” (JD) after coming out
Supported by Parents
“…As long as I am fine, the life I
chose is still supported…” (AJ)

3. What influenced your decision to tell your parents you identified as LGB?
SEGMENT INITIAL CODE CATEGORY THEME
“I also know because when I was
young they already felt and knew.” Already felt
(Josh)
“…Just myself because I don't want Having a self-recognition before
Myself Self-identity Awareness
to lie to them…(AJ) coming-out
“…no, nothing influenced me, but
one of the factors maybe because I Nothing influenced
need to pull out the fact…” (JM)
“But influence to confess? Maybe
that's because I want to get out of the
real reality of being part of this Get out
community.” (Josh)
Freedom
“Maybe because I need to pull out
the fact, like because, I feel like
To experienced sense of freedom and
something is choking me in my chest Pull out
independence
that I wanted to vomit…like this is the
time, that I need to pull it out.” (JM)
“First my fear that they may know it
from other, because I want them to be Fear
the first to know…” (JD) Emotions
“yes, to make myself feel better.”
Feel better
(JM)
4. How did you feel when you were coming out to your parents?
SEGMENT INITIAL CODE CATEGORY THEME
“...but after I come out more like I
have a thorn that have been
removed.” (JM)
Thorn Removed
“I felt like the thorn in my heart has
removed when I found out that they
are not mad at me…” (JD)
“...that makes me happy…” (JD)

“Happy of course.” (Josh)

Happy
“…. I was scared but at the same time Positive Feelings Increased sense of freedom
happy because I felt so relieved…”
(AJ)
“I feel that I am free from fear.” (JD)

“I can do all the things I can do

when I'm in front of my friends.”
(Josh) Felt Free

“I can move more in much expansive

ground. Like you become more freely
from what you are.” (JM)
“they supported me they do not make
me feel that there’s something wrong
with me.” (JM)
Feel supported Family Support Enhance the sense of individuality
“…They were surprised at first but
they immediately accepted me and
respected me…” (AJ)
5. What specifically did your parents do physically, emotionally, or spiritually that led to you feeling supported by them?
SEGMENT INITIAL CODE CATEGORY THEME
“You can feel that they are
supporting you in a way like it’s okay.
But they will make you feel that there Make you feel there’s nothing wrong
is nothing wrong,” – (JM)

“and my mother she makes me feel

her emotional support even she’s far
Emotional support
away” – (JD)

“I would go in terms of emotion, they

made me feel that they're on my side, Family Guidance and Support Family Relationship Improvement
They’re on my side
especially my grandmother.” – (Josh)

“how they treat you and the love they

make you feel” – (JM)
Treat
“It's not because they treat me
differently.” – (Josh)
they allowed me to do whatever I
wanted as long as they knew I wasn't Allowed me
doing anything wrong

6. How, if at all, being in college impact your experience with coming out to your parents?
SEGMENT INITIAL CODE CATEGORY THEME
“That has no effect. Especially for
someone like me who was able to
No effect
come out of his parents before
college.”- (Josh)

“I was thinking that before college I Already found sense of identity

should know myself already and Come out before college
Know myself already before college
maybe this reason influenced me to
come out to my parents.” - (Jd)
“…because I was still in elementary
school when I confessed to them…” Still in elementary
(AJ)
“Here in college you will be able to
Impact of college in character
mold your character…”- (Jm) Mold your character Positive impact of College
development
“… you will be able to grow”- (Jm)
Grow

“As human being how will you grow

and my perspective in different
perspective
things become wider.” - (Jm)

[Link] your overall thoughts and feelings surrounding your experience with coming out to your parents, how do you reflect on that experience today?
SEGMENT INITIAL CODING CATEGORY THEME
“And in my experienced I was very
thankful because despite of
discrimination that other members of
this LGBTQ community experiencing” Thankful
(JD) Feeling Grateful
Successful Disclosure
“And with that I can say that I am
lucky, and I will make sure that I will
not let that love and support go into Lucky
waste.” (JD)

“Before I was afraid like I didn’t

expect to myself that I can do it,” (JM) I can do it

…For you to be able to grow you

should be comfortable first on what
you are, who you are, you should know Comfortable
yourself for you to start.” (JM)

“...we should be who and what we are

Obtained relief and positive
so that we can feel lighter inside…”(AJ) Feel lighter Positive Experience outcome after coming out

“As I have said in my previous

answers, I can do all the things that I
want to do as long as I am doing it Do all things
decently and responsibly.” (Josh)

“It was a great experience to come Great Experience

out” (Josh)