Name: CAO THỊ THÙY LINH
Student ID No.: 22639561
Class: DHAV18A
WRITING ASSIGNMENT
Unit 1
Topic: Write an opinion essay on the topic
Do you agree or disagree with the statement "users of social networks should be
cautious as social media can be dangerous”?
Outline Writing
Introduction 1st draft:
[Link] : Social media Social media usage is growing at a phenomenal rate. Social
usage is growing at a media enables people to easily share ideas with friends and
phenomenal rate family worldwide, fostering connections that were previously
[Link] : benefits impossible. With this growth, however, the use of social media
of social media also comes with an increasing number of risks.
[Link] statement:
Using social media can 2nd draft:
be dangerous One of the most significant concerns is the erosion of privacy.
Topic Users often inadvertently share personal data that malicious
1. first point actors can [Link] example, hacking social network accounts
- the erosion of for the purpose of fraud and property appropriation is currently
privacy a burning and common problem, the fraud methods are
- users can be stealed increasingly sophisticated, easily deceiving users. According to
money by malicious the survey data of the author group of 1720 people, 790 people
actors (accounting for 45.9%) are victims or acquaintances of victims
- for example about of this form of fraud. The tricks to take ownership (hack) of
strange link social network accounts that subjects often use include: sending
2. second point a link via an application such as Messenger when the user logs
- Cyberbullying is in, information about the account and password will be sent to
another alarming the subject; tricks to recover or retrieve locked or hacked social
consequence of social network accounts; tricks to guess passwords. After taking
media. ownership of the account, the subject will change the log
- The consequences of andsucpurpose of fraud and property appropriation is currently a
cyberbullying burning and common problem, the fraud methods are
- Users must be aware increasingly sophisticated, easily deceiving users. However,
of the risks of social cyberbullying problems in social media were worries an issue.
media and take steps to
protect themselves and Cyberbullying is another significant concern on social media.
others The consequences of such harassment can be severe, leading to
depression, anxiety, and even suicide in their victims. During
the investigation of the current situation of online violence, out
of a total of 134 students participating in the survey, we
determined that up to 120 students (accounting for 89.61% of
the total number of subjects) were students who participated in
online violence. Specifically: 19 students (accounting for 15.8%
of the total number of subjects) were only victims of online
violence, 6 students (accounting for 5%) were only perpetrators
of online violence, up to 95 students (accounting for 79.2% of
the total number) answered that they were both victims and
perpetrators of online violence and only 14 students (accounting
for 10.4% of the total number of students) asked had never
participated in online violence. Users must be aware of the risks
of social media and take steps to protect themselves and others.
3. Counter- agrument While the negative aspects of social media, it's important to
consider the potential benefits as well. Firstly, social media
helps connect and build community: social media platforms
have revolutionized how people connect with friends, family,
and communities. They provide a space for individuals to share
experiences, support one another, and foster a sense of
belonging. Secondly, social media has created new economic
opportunities, particularly for businesses and entrepreneurs.
Platforms like Instagram and TikTok have enabled individuals
to build personal brands, monetize content, and reach a global
audience. In addition, it can be a valuable resource for education
and learning. There are numerous online courses, educational
channels, and communities dedicated to sharing knowledge and
fostering intellectual growth. It's important to note that the risks
associated with social media can be mitigated through
responsible use and education. By promoting digital literacy,
teaching users about online safety, and implementing robust
privacy measures, we can harness the positive aspects of social
media while minimizing its negative consequences.
4. Conclusion In conclusion, the rapid growth of social media has brought
both significant benefits and challenges. While platforms like
Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter have facilitated global
connections and communication, they have also raised concerns
about privacy violations and cyberbullying. The potential for
malicious actors to exploit personal data and the prevalence of
online harassment highlights the need for responsible use and
increased digital literacy. By striking a balance between the
benefits and drawbacks, social media can continue to serve as a
valuable tool for connection, communication, and personal
growth. However, we must approach this technology with
caution, awareness, and a commitment to responsible use.
What I learned from getting feedback and revising my writing:
Grammar:
· Verb-tense consistency: present simple :
· Verb patterns:
· Clauses:
Relative clauses:
Dependent/ main clauses:
Vocabulary - Lexical items
· Nouns: benefits à numerous benefits
· Phrases related to Topic:
Feedback from: Gemini ( The revised draft is a significant improvement over the previous
versions. It provides a clearer focus on the risks associated with social media usage, and
the examples used are more relevant and specific. The addition of survey data to support
the claims about privacy and cyberbullying is particularly effective ).