Etiquette – the art of making someone else feel comfortable

You are your words and actions

UNFAMILIAR SITUATIONS
Watch others and your host for clues.

MEALS
Treat a meal as more than getting all of the food you can. If someone uses your roll plate,- skip having a roll.
Don’t polish off everything on your plate including the pattern.
Do not reach over someone if you are being introduced. Shake hands behind the person.
Don’t open a large napkin fully; leave it folded in half in your lap.
If you need to leave the table, leave your napkin on your chair. When you are finished leave the napkin on the L
side of the plate not scrunched up and not folded like new. Leave your silverware resting in an inverted “V” on
the top of the plate, tines down.
You can begin to eat or drink when the host picks up their fork.
At a banquet wait until everyone has been served their first course and eat together. This rule is not
consistently followed at conferences with buffet lines, but it is nice to wait until most of your table has arrived
with their food.
Table setting - drinks on the Rt., bread plate on the Lt.
Do not ask for salt no matter how bland if none is on the table.
When you finish a course or your meal, place your knife and fork side, by, side, knife on top in the 4 o’clock
position.
Never set your knife on the table. Always rest it on the side of the plate.
Touch only the bread you are going to take. Use the napkin under the bread to break or separate unsliced or
partly slice bread if there is no knife. Place butter on your bread plate and only butter the bite you are going to
eat - not the whole slice.
Bones, seeds etc. It came in on a utensil it goes out on a utensil.
Drop a utensil- leave it on the floor.
If alcohol is involved - drink less than your host or senior person.
If you are being hosted in a restaurant, be prepared to pay in case. If you do not know the price range in which
you may order, ask your host for a suggestion. If you are hosting, do the reverse; suggest a few items. If you are
prepared to pay for an appetizer as well as an entrée, suggest an appetizer.
Refusing alcohol or coffee - catch the server’s attention before the meal. Other options: catch their eye before
they pour and give a shake of the head “no” or a polite no thank you saying I won’t be having wine. With good
service you should not have to repeat this throughout the meal.
Use no electronics or any sort at the table. It is discourteous to the people you are with.
No grooming of any sort at the table.
Cracker wrappers, sweetener bags etc. Remove them with a minimal amount of mess and leave them on the
saucer or service plate. The kindness you show to the wait staff is appreciated.
When taking a break from eating soup, the spoon rests on the under plate. If no plate then in the center of the
bowl.
Butter your roll one bite at a time.

BUSINESS MEALS
Be a temperate and modest guest and a thoughtful host.
As host, arrive before your guest and save the prime seat for your guest.

RECEIVING GIFTS AT WORK

Know the company policy. Safer to accept a gift such as food or flowers on behalf of the work group stating you
will share. Extend your thanks in writing.
Accept compliments with a simple thank you, or say thank you for your kind words.
MIXING WORK AND PLEASURE - NOT A GOOD THING
This includes chatting on Facebook, My Space or any other form of communication.

INTERPRETERS
When using an interpreter, address and look at the individual and not the interpreter.

GLOBAL ETIQUETTE
Seek out resources for specific countries.
Greetings, gender, age, seniority, body language, personal space, physical contact, business cards, and flowers
all have cultural specific etiquette.

DISABILITIES
If asked to escort a sight impaired individual, offer your elbow and describe the route, stairs, furniture or
obstacles.
When assisting someone at a meal describe the plate as if it is the face of a clock e.g. (your potato is at the 2
o’clock position, your broccoli is at 4 o’clock and your meat is 7 o’clock).
If you are interacting with an individual who uses a wheelchair – it is considered part of their body and is not to
be touched or leaned on unless you ask permission. Please do not refer to individuals who use chairs as
wheelchair bound.

HYGIENE AND DRESS

Find out the expectations before the event.

HOW TO DEAL WITH A JOB OFFER WHEN YOU HAVE OTHER HOPES
Do not pit the employers against each other in a bidding war. They may both withdraw their offer. Let the
individual who first makes an offer know that you will need a few days to consider this. Then contact the other
employer and find out if they have made a decision and where you stand in the process. Let them know you
have been given an offer but that they are your first choice.

EMAIL BLUNDERS
If you:
Forwarded a confidential message to the wrong person - Send follow up personal message, request that the
information be kept in confidence. Notify the person whose confidence has been broken.

If you receive:
Unwanted email jokes from peers and superiors –Hold off on hitting reply or forwarding the message and
venting. Wait 24 hours before sending emotionally hot responses or messages.

How to respond to an upsetting cc or bcc. Do not respond to the group. Before you respond check to see who is
listed in the “to:” section.

EMAIL TIPS
Remember this is written communication and it is one sided. Start and end your message with a salutation.
Include the message in your response for the readers ease. One word answers are difficult to put into context.
Do not use email when a personal connection is more effective or you need an immediate answer.
Email deserves to be grammatically correct without jargon and misspellings.
Include an understandable subject line.
Include your telephone number in your email signature section.
WRITTEN BLUNDERS
See a mistake in a letter you have already sent out - make the correction resubmit with the word revised in the
upper rt. corner or in the opening sentence. Add “please accept my revised or updated cover letter”.

INVITATIONS
R.S.V.P. - stands for respondez sil vous plait.
“Regrets only” means only contact them if you will not be able to come.
If a couple is invited and only one member can make it, send your regrets and let the hostess/host decide if their
event will still work out with only the one person.
Miss the day of a personal event when you confirmed. Send a small gift or flowers with a note expressing your
regrets to have missed the event.

INTRODUCTIONS
In the past good manners were different than now so do not be surprised if an older individual has a different
standard than you.
Traditionally, rank (e.g., supervisor), age or gender was taken into consideration when determining whom to
introduce first. If you are going to continue this tradition the form is: Introduce a junior to a senior, present the
lesser “ranked” person to the senior. Name the senior person first and the person who is being introduced or
presented, last.
Clients always given the honor in an introduction.
Stand up when being introduced.
If outside and have your glove on - remove it to shake hands.
Use first and last name and a few words for the newly introduced to start a conversation.
Place your name tag on your R side to help someone see your name when they shake hands with you.
When handed a business card, take a moment to look at it. If you are working with a Japanese individual, the
business card is very formal. Receive it with both hands look at it, comment on it and hold during the meeting.
Do not write on it or tuck it into a pocket.

CELL PHONE
When talking on a cell phone, keep yourself in a private space. Resist the compulsion to answer your phone in
all places at all times.
If you are in a meeting, let your group know you are expecting a call that cannot be missed. Set your phone to
vibrate so to create the least amount of distraction. Answer the call when you are outside of the meeting space.

VOICE MAIL
Be brief and specific in your outgoing message, as well as in messages you leave.
Have a professional sounding message if you are taking business calls on a personal phone.