4 Management Lessons
Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all
day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not."
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox
appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very
high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got
the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed
with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength
to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he
reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the
top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the
tree.
Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said,
"I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he
wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the
money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole
spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole
went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes
became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic
and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so
the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and
passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don't need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the
ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung
on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it
was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon
began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and
promptly dug him out and ate him!
Management Lessons:
1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!