*

FANTASY*

I
ntr
oduct
ion

"
Byt
het
imet
hisni
ghti
sover
Thest
arsar
egonnashi
neont
wol
over
sinl
ove
Andwhent
hemor
ningcomes
I
t'
sgonnaf
indust
oget
her
I
nal
ovet
hat
'
sjustbegan.
..
..
."

Isti
llremembermyweddi [Link]
PeaboBr ysonandKennyGpl ayedwhil
emy
husbandt al
kedandl aughedwi [Link]
Idon'tthi
nkI'
lleverfor
getthatday.Iwas18year s
[Link],youreadthatcor r
ect.Iwas18r i
ghtaf t
er
highschoolandIwast oldIwoul dgetmarriedthe
foll
owingmont [Link] i
edbeggingmy
unclesnottodoi tbuttheydidn'[Link]
woul
dt heyhearmewhenIwasaski nnyyounggirl
whowasgoi ngtomakethem r
[Link]
ly
somerespectinthecommuni
tybecausemy
marr
iagemeanttheycoul
dnowdr inkwiththe
Mbonambiclan.
Ithoughtaboutrunni
ngawaybutt owhere?The
onlyplaceIknewwast hathouseandnobodywas
goingtotakemei [Link] herfewdaysaf t
erIwas
[Link] tchedherbutnowI
seethatsomethingmusthavegonewr ong
somewher ewhenshewasgi vi
ngbi r
[Link]
l
eftmewi thherfamil
yandt heyraisedmeupunt i
l
theystart
edseei
ngmeasamoneymaki ngmachine.

Iwon'tlieandsaymyhusbandwasabusi veorthat
het r
eatedmebadevent houghhewas20year s
[Link], het reat
edmewel l
.Sentmet o
schoolthemomentwel eftt
herural
sandmovedt o
[Link] i
nishedmydegr eehebribed
someonei nt heMuni ci
pali
tyandIgottheint
ernshi
p
fortwoyear swhichturnedintoful
lemployment
whent hecont r
actended.
That'swhenmyl i
febegant [Link]
fri
endswi [Link] nvi
tedmeoutand
Ideclinedatfi
rstbecauseIwasusedt obei
nga
wifeandIwast ol
dt hatawi f
edoesn'tgoanywhere
withoutaskingthehusbandf i
rst
.Icouldn'
taskhim
soImadeexcusesunt ilhewentoverseasfor
businessandIdeci dedt [Link]
turnedintomanychancesandIl ovedtheli
feIwas
seeingwhenIwasout .Iwantedthatli
feand
whenevermyhusbandwasawayonwhat everhe
wasdoi ngIwasoutl i
vingthelif
e.
chapt
er1

Iwokeupwi thaki l
lerheadache, afullbl
own
hangoverevent houghIhaddr ankthreeglassesof
winetheni [Link] angI
al
mostt hrewi toutoft hewi ndowbecausei trang
ri
ghtinsidemyhead.I twasmyf r
iendNombuso
call
ing,probablychecki [Link] 'swhy
Il
ovedt [Link] reatedmel ikeasister.
Somet hingIdidn'thavegr [Link] dn't
fr
ownatmyl ackofsoci alskil
lswhenIt oldthem
howmyli
fewor
kedout
.Theyunder
stoodand
want
edmetoenj
oythi
swit
houtl
osingmysel
f.
"
Gir
l"Ianswer
edwi
thmyeyescl
osed
"Gotheki
tchenandI'
l
lcoachyouonhowtohealt
he
hangover
"shesoundedli
keshewasrunni
ng.
"I
'
m dying"Ist
oodupandslippedmysl
ipper
son
befor
egoingtotheki
tchen.
"
Iknow"shel
aughed.
WhenIgotthethekit
chenshestar
tedgi
vingme
i
nstr
uct
[Link]
lyIhadever
ythi
ngshewas
sayi
ngIshoulduse.
"I
si tsupposedt
osmel
lbad?
"Il
ookedi
nsi
det
he
glasswi t
hmymouthtur
neddown
"
[Link]
[Link]
llbe
f
ineaft
er"sheinst
ruct
edbef
oreendi
ngthecall
.
Idi
dast oldbefor
egoingtothelounget
orestmy
heavyheadont [Link]
il
lneededtocl
ean
becausewedi dn'
thaveadaytodayhousekeeper
.
Whenmyhusbandsuggest edhiri
ngaful
lti
me
housekeeperIsai
[Link]'
twanthimtohavea
spyandhesaidhedidn'
twantust ohavekidsand
wewerehardlyhomedur i
ngthedaysoitdidn'
t
[Link]
dthecleaningmysel
fbutthelady
comefort
helaundrytwiceaweek.

*
***
**

"
Thembeka"someonewokemeup.
Ijumpedupandrubbedmyeyeswhentheperson
[Link]
expect
inghi
m ar
oundtheeveni
ngnott
hisear
ly.
"
Youl
ooksi
ck"hi
shandt
ouchedmyf
orehead.
"Ithi
nki'
m comingdownwit
hacol d"Il
iedand
l
ookedatt hecl
ock.I
twasaft
er12mi [Link]
wasn'tt
hatearl
yandIwasstil
lfeel
ingsickf
rom t
he
alcohol
"Letmegetyoutothedoct
or.I
'
llchangetheshir
t"
hestart
[Link]'
t
haveadoctortel
li
ngmyhusbandt hatIwas
hangovernotdyi
ngfr
om anunknownbact er
ia.
"I
t'
[Link]
ooksomepi l
lsear l
ier
.Myf ri
end
Nombusobr oughtthem.I'
llbef i
ne"Ili
[Link]
gett
ingbett
eratitt
[Link]'thearmyvoi ceshake
whenIl i
edli
keitusedtowhenIst ar
ted.
"Ar
eyousure?
"Hel
ookedatmel
ikehedi
dn'
t
bel
ieveme
"Verysur
e.I
'm evenfeelhungry.I
'
llgost
artont
he
pots"Idi
dn'
twaitforareply.
WhenIgottothebedroom Ichangedquickl
yand
pi
ckeduptheclot
hesIdumpedont hefl
oorthe
ni
ghtbefor
[Link]
mehewal kedi
nIwasbusy
br
ushingmyteethint
hebat hr
oom.
Isi
lentlyfi
nishedandleftt
hebedr
oom whil
ehe
str
ippedpr obabl
[Link]
ng
togivemeenought i
met ocookaquickmealand
serveitfewmi nut
esafterhewasdone.

*
***
**

Imadehi
m somemacar
oniandser
vedi
twhi
lehe
wasbusywat
chi
ngTV.
"ThanksMaKhumalo"hesatupst
raightandI
kneeleddownbef
oreputt
ingthet
rayont hecof
fee
tabl
e.
Thiswasourl [Link] i
esasawi feandhe
didhi [Link] eoverI
didn'tservethem l i
ket hi
sandIdi dn'
[Link] red
peopl etodoal lthatandIj ustsuper vi
sedher eand
thereandt hensmi l
elikeheal wayssai dIshoul d.
Nqubekowasn' tabadper [Link] dn'tshoutatme.
Hedi dn'ttr
eatmel i
ker [Link] hetimehe
l
[Link] riedtheysaidIneededt o
attendallhisneedsandIaskedwhatwer ethose
[Link] oldmest r
aight,theysaidhewi l
ltell
mehi [Link] i
rstmont hsIexpect edal istof
needsbuti [Link] dn'twakemeupi n
themi ddleoft henightandaskf [Link] ddoi t
butitdidn'tfeelli
keanexhaust i
ngchor e.
Somet i
meswewentweekswi thoutitandwhenhe
wasawayonbusi nesshecal l
edt oaski fIwasst il
l
okayandIwassat i
sfiedwi tht
hat .Hecoul dhave
shout edatme, tr
eatmebadandabusehi spower
buthedi dn'[Link] venanallowanceformy
thingssuchascl othesandt oi
let
ri
[Link] ocery
wasboughtonceamont handheboughtbr ead
everyeveni ngf r
om wor [Link] ter
thanmostgi rlswhower ei
narrangedmar r
iages.
Onegi rlsaidherhusbandusedt obeatherupwhen
shef orgotsomet hingandmyhusbandneverdi d
[Link] dn'tevenshoutatme.I fIdi
dn'tdo
anythinghepol i
tel
yaskedmef orit
.Wewer e
functioni
ngsowel [Link] yfound
l
ifestyleofdr i
nkingwi neandvisi
ti
ngbarsIwas
managi ngi tsowel l
.

*
***
Whenhef i
nishedeat i
ngIwenttocl eanupandhe
wasbackt owat [Link] hischanceand
cleanedt hekitchenbef or
emovingt othedi ni
ng
[Link] sfeetuptogetthem outoft heway
ashecont i
nuedt alki
ngaboutbusi nessont he
[Link] dn'tknowwhathedi dexact l
yexceptthat
i
ti nvolvedhuget rucksthatt
ransportedthingsal
l
overt hecount r
yandot herAfri
cancount ri
[Link]
's
al
lIknewandhedi dn'
ttel
lmeanythi
[Link]
wasstudyi
ngIt houghthemightgetmeaj obinhis
companybuthesai dhedidn'twantmetobeforced
i
ntoaplacejustbecausehewast hereandIwas
grat
eful
.Iwasn'tsureaboutseei
ngsomeoneone
24/7.I
twasokayt hisway.
"
MaKhumalo"hi
svoi
cebr
okemeoutofmy
t
hought
s.
"Yes"Ir
epli
[Link]'
tusethewor dst
hatsome
[Link] dhavegott
enusedto
them i
fheusedt hem aswellbuthedi
dn't
.Hecal
led
meMaKhumal oandIcalledhim Mbonambior
simplysai
d'yes'
"Khetheloisi
nvi
ti
ngusfordi
nner
.At7"i
twasn'
ta
[Link]
ti
ngmeknowandwewer e
going.
"
Okay.I'
llgetr
eady"Ir
esumedmycl
eani
ngandhe
wentbacktotheTV.
"
I'
llwearmyblueshi
rtandjeans"headdedaf
tera
whil
[Link]
dn'
tanswerbecauseheknewIheard.
*
***
**
Iwasr eadybef oresi
xo'clockandNqubekowasst i
ll
shower i
[Link] hatchanceandperfectedmy
eyebrowsj ustli
keNombusoandPhumel eletaught
[Link] dn'twearmake-upof t
enbecauseIonl yhad
pimpleswheni twasclosetomymont hlyci r
cleand
theydidn'tleavemarkssoIacceptedmyf aceasI
wasbutsomet i
mesIdidusepowderwheni twas
hottoavoi dtheoilynose.
Nqubekoexi tedt hebat hroom wi that owelwr apped
aroundhi [Link]' [Link] kedout
fr
om t i
met ot imeandi thel pedt hathewast all
er.
Hewasf airincompl [Link] dn'tgrowhai rbut
hedidl ethissi deburnsgr owal ongwi thhisbear d.
Hest oodst raightmostoft hetimeandhespokei n
afullofconf idencevoi [Link] esaidt hi
swast he
casewi thbusi nesspeopl [Link] edhi m ashe
[Link] ohi m, Ididn'tlook20year syounger
becauseIwasn' tsmal landt [Link] hatwhenI
gotmar riedbutwhenmybodybeganf il
li
ngoutI
becamet al
lerandl ar
gert [Link] esize36andmy
fr
iendst aughtmet owal kt al
ltoembr acemysel f.
Nombusowastallandsl
im whi
lePhumel
elewas
shor
tandt
hick.
"Ar
eyoudone?
"Heaskedaft
erhefi
nished
but
toni
nghi
sshir
tandfol
dedthesl
eevestwi
ce.
"
Yesi
'
m done"Ipi
ckedupmybagandphone.
"Let
'sgo"hepickeduphisownphoneandwal
let
beforewelef
tthebedroom.

*
***
*
Hel ockedthedoorwhil
eIwal kedtothecar .The
sunwascompl et
elygoneandt heeveningcoolair
wasset tl
ingi
[Link] egoingt obebackl atebutI
didn'tmindbecauseIsti
llhadSundaytor estbefor
e
goingtowor konMonday.
Thetri
pwasn'tcompl
etelyquiet
.Heturnedthe
radi
oonandwedi dmakesomecomment sabout
thebaddr
iver,t
hebadtraffi
contheotherlane,t
he
wint
[Link]
swasournor malli
fe.
Whenwewer ebothoutofwor dstheradi
of i
ll
edin
unti
lwearr
ivedinChestervi
ll
eandwewer e
wel
comedbyhi
sfr
iendKhet
hel
o.
"
MrsMbonambi
"sai
dKhet
hel
obef
orehesmi
led.
"Hi"Ismil
edbackbefor
ehuggi
nghi
swi
fewhowas
pregnantandhuge.
"Iwasstart
ingt
ot hi
nkImusthavedonesomet hing
tomakeyouavoidme"shel aughedbefor
et aki
ng
mebyhandandl edmetothekitchenwheretwo
otherl
adieswer
ebusywi t
hthefood.
"Workhasusbusy"Il i
[Link] ryingtobefri
end
mebutIwasn' tsur
eabouti [Link]'tbecauseI
wasact i
ngl i
keIwasbet terbutshewasa
housewifewi t
ht wokidsalreadywhi l
eIdi dn'
thave
anykidsandNqubekosai dwewer enevergoi ngto
havethem becausehedi dn' [Link] ween
thatandmenotbei ngint
erestedint heirbusi
ness
andherbei ngahousewi feitseemedl i
kewehad
veryli
tt
leincommon.
"Icanimagi
[Link]
otoldmeaboutt het
ri
ps
[Link]
getti
ngtoyouhey"shesmiledandbrushedher
[Link]
[Link]
yitwasgood,
bringingali
fei
ntothi
s
[Link]
ngapersongrowninsideyouandall
that.
"Sometimesi
tdoes"Ili
[Link]
ikedbeingal
one.
Listeni
ngtomusi
candsi ngi
ngalongtosome
songsIknewandwat chingt
elevi
sionandthen
beingoutwit
hthegir
ls.
"Youshouldcomevisi
[Link]
canhaveagi r
lsi
n"shesuggest
edandIwelcomed
hersuggesti
oneventhoughIwasn'
tgoi
ngtotakei
t.

Thedi
nnerwasn'tacruelaf
fai
[Link]
madejokesandIlaughedunti
lKhethel
o
commentedabouthowIwasal i
tt
ledif
fer
ent
.
"
Dif
fer
enthow?
"AskedNqubekol
ooki
ngatme.
"
Mor er
[Link]'tsoundli
kesheisscar
ed
l
ikeshewaswhenyouf i
rstbroughtherher
e.I
nfact
t
helastt
imewehaddi nnertoget
hershehardl
y
l
aughedlikethi
s.I
'm gl
ad"
Ther
ewasamomentofsi
lenceunt
ilSi
ndi
swa
agreedwit
hherhusbandabouthowIwasdi ff
erent.
Iheldmybreat
hbecauseIwasn'tsur
eifsomeone
hadseenmedr i
nkingwit
hthegir
lsandtheywer e
taki
ngthi
sconversat
iont
othatdir
ect
[Link]
tobeextr
acaref
ulnow.
"Shei
sgrowingandIwon'tl
[Link]
ovei
ttoo"agr
eed
Nqubekoeventhoughhedidsoundli
kehedidn'
t
knowwhathewast al
kingabout.
"Iwon'
tli
[Link]
nkyouguyswi
ll
growapart"cont
inuedKhet
helo
"
Why?
"AskedNqubekoput
ti
ngdownhi
sfor
k
"Idon' [Link] hewholear range
mar [Link] ewr i
ghti n
[Link] ikeherendupl eavingthe
mar riagebecausetheyhaveseensomet hingel se
outt hereandwant edit
.Sheiseducatedand
wor kingbutstil
lsheremainthewellmanner edwi f
e.
Someoneel sewoul dbeshowingyouf l
amesby
now"hel aughedandnooneel sedid
"
SheisloyalandIappr
eci
atet
hatabouther
"repl
ied
Nqubeko
"That'
sanamazi ngqual i
[Link]
[Link]
wear e"hesmi l
edandsqueezedSundi swa'shand.
Thatwast hediffer
encewi [Link]'
tdot hatat
all
.Nqubekot ouchedmeonl ywhenitwas
necessarybutevent henhistouchwasgent l
[Link]
thefi
rstti
mewehadsexIwasr eal
lyscar
ednot
real
lysurewhatt [Link] l
eand
conti
nuedbeingt hatgentleeveryt
imewedi dit.I
appreciat
edallthatabouthim.
Chapt
er2

Nqubekowentt oCapeTownMondaymor ni
ng.I
wokeupt ohi m al
readydressedandr eadytogo
sayingt herewasanemer gencyonsomedealhe
waswor [Link] eftmesomemoneysayi ngI
shoul dbuymysel fsomet hi
[Link] atef
ul
becausemyf r
iendswer esuggestingaweekendget
awayweneededt osavef [Link] ngtomakea
planaboutNqubekoi fhewasn'touttheretr
aveli
ng.
Iwat chedhi m gobeforeprepari
[Link]
weekendwasn' tallbad,aft
erwer etur
nedto
Khethel
o'sdinnerwehadsexandthensl ept.
SundaywasmywashdaysoIdi dallt
hatwhi l
e
Nqubekowasbusywor ki
nginthedini
ngr [Link]
hadaqui etdaybefor
eret
iri
ngtobedandt henhim
l
eavingforCapeTownf ortheemergency.

"Ear
tht
oThembeka"sai
dPhumel
elebef
oreshe
dumpedthef
il
esonmydesk.
"
Ineedcof
fee"Igr
abbedmyhandbagandsear
ched
f
ormywallet
.
"Cof
fee?Ar
eyoufeeli
ngokay?
"Shegr
abbedher
chai
randpull
edi
tcloser
.
"I
'mf i
[Link] [Link]
CapeTownt [Link] gencyheneeded
totakecareof f
"Ipull
edoutt henotesandcl
osed
mywal letbeforedumpingitbacktomyhandbag.
"
Wheni
shecomi
ngback?
"
"Tomor
roweveni
[Link]'
tcookt
oday"and
Iwasgoingt
osortoutmywar dr
obeaswell
.
"
Weshoul
dhaveasl
eepover
"shet
urnedar
ound
t
owardsNombuso'sdeskbef
oreaski
ngi
fshe
want
edasleepover.
"Sl
eepover
?It
sMonday"r
epl
iedNombusowal
king
overt
omydeskaswell
.
"Whatareyou?12?Yesasl [Link]'tdo
anythi
ngexhausti
[Link] chamovie"
pressedPhumelel
epushingherglassesinpl
ace
"I
'
m [Link]
abt
hecof
feegi
rl
s"Ist
oodup
andlef
tthem.

*
***
*
OurOffi
ceswereonthesecondfloorandt
hefi
rst
fl
oorwasanotherdepar
tmentandthenthegr
ound
fl
oorhadcoff
eespotsandarestaurant
ssowedid
t
hecoffeerunallt
heti
me.
"Theli
fti
sout"sai
doneofthebuil
dingcaretaker
s
asImademywayover" Sorr
y"helookedatmy
[Link]
ngt obeanightmaretowalk
upanddownt hestai
rsbutihadnochoice.
"
Thanks"Iwentt
othest
air
staki
ngt
hem oneatt
he
t
imeunt
ilIwasdownst
air
s.
[Link]
empted
tostandout
sidef
orawhi l
ebutIhadworkwai
ti
ng
forme.
Iboughtthreecof
feeandaddedagiantmuf
fi
nfor
myselfbeforegoi
ngbackupstai
rs.
NombusoandPhumelel
ewer
est
il
lsi
tt
ingonmy
deskwhenIr
etur
ned.
"Thanksgi
rl
"sai
dPhumel
elewhenIhandedhert
he
coffee.
"Letmecheckmywal l
et"sai
dNombusowal ki
ng
[Link]
dn'
tref
usewhentheypaidme
back.I
twasstil
lthegooddaysaf
terpayday.
"Thembeka,
MrNeneneedsyoudownstair
s"
announcedTracywal
kingpastt
hedoor
"Thanks"Il
eftt
hecoffeeandwentbackdownst
air
s.
Theguyswer esti
llworki
ngont
helif
tsoItookt
he
stai
rs.
"Watchout
"someoneyel
ledbef
oreever
ythi
ng
star
tedmovingi
nadif
fer
entdir
ect
ionandIwas
cl
earl
yheadi
ngdownstair
sheadfi
rst
.Somethi
ng
cushi
onedmyfal
lasIlandeddownbutthepai
nin
mylegwasunbear
able.
"
Youareokay"someonesaidbeneat
hmeandItri
ed
t
owakeupbutIcouldn'
[Link]
angandtheni
tfel
t
l
iket
her
ewasneedlesonmyeyes.
"Shit
"someonepul
ledmyheadupabi
tbef
oreIwas
placeddownonsomethi
ngsoft
.
"Myl [Link]
hinkit
sbr
oken"t
her
ingi
ngandthe
discomf or
tinmyeyeswasnot
hingcompar
edtot
he
painonmyl eg.
Someonetouchedt
helegandIscreamedinpai
n
whenthei
rtouchwasn'
tgent
leanymore.
"
Notbr
[Link]
dyoucal
lforanambul
ance?
"
"
Didshehurtherhead?"AskedNombusosoundi
ng
l
ikeshewasoutofbreath.
"Thebackofherneckbutshelandedonmemostl
y"
expl
ainedt
[Link] r
iedto
fi
gureoutwhoitwasbutIdidn'
trecogni
zeit
.
"
Myeyeshur
[Link]
keIhaveneedl
esont
hem"It
ri
edt
o
openonebuti
twasthesamesoiclosedt
hem
agai
n"Cansomeonecal
lmyhusband?"
"Shi
[Link] l
llethi
m know"someoner
epli
edbefore
heavyfootst
epscomeoverandt hent
heyput
somethingthatmademovi ngt
heneckreal
lyhar
d.

*
***
**

"St
il
linpain?
"Askedt
hedoctorwhenif
inal
lywoke
upandt heri
ngi
nginheadwasgone.
"[Link]
egsdoesn'thur
tthatmuch"Il
ookedatt
he
cast"
Isi
tbr
oken?"Icoul
df eelmyt
oes
"I
t'
snott
[Link]
dbefi
nei
nfewweeks.
Butyouhavet
oputupyourlegf
orawhi
le"
"
ButIhavewor
[Link]
o..
..
."
"
Tohealandgetbacki
ntoheal
th.I
tsi
mpor
tantMr
s
Mbonambi"
"[Link]?
"Hel
augheda
bitbefor
eshaki
nghishead.
"[Link] omorr
[Link]
iendsare
[Link]
lthem i
njustf
orfewmi nut
es"he
pickeduphi sf
il
e
"
Thankyoudoct
or"
Henoddedandlef
ttheroom bef
oreNombusoand
Phumelel
ewal
[Link] r
yingmy
handbag.
"
Thanksgi
rl
s"wehuggedbef
oret
heystar
tedtel
li
ng
mehowsourthemoodwasattheof
fi
ceafterIgot
i
njur
ed.
"I
'
llbef
[Link]
llheali
nfewweeks"weal
l
star
edatthecast.
"
Weshoul
dsi
gni
t"suggest
edPhume
"
Andi
'
llwal
kar
oundwi
thadi
rt
ycast
?Noways"
"
Wewi
llsi
gni
tneat
ly"
"
For
geti
[Link]
dyoumanaget
ofi
ndNqubeko?
"
Phumelel
elookedawaywhi
leNombusost
art
ed
twi
sti
ngherfinger
s.
"
Isheokay?
"theywer
ehi
dingsomet
hing.
"
Ical
ledbuthedi
dn'
tanswer
.Ilef
tamessage
t
hough"shewasdef
ini
tel
yhi
dingsomet
hing.
Inoddedandtookmybagbeforesearchi
ngformy
[Link] feat
en
muffi
nwithacli
[Link]
it
e
fori
t.
Ther
ewasnomessageormissedcall
.Idi
all
edhis
numberandi
trangt
ovoi
cemailbutIt
ri
edagain.
"
Hell
o"answer
edavoi
cet
hatdi
dnotbel
ongt
o
Nqubeko.
"
Hi.I
sNqubekot
her
e?"
Shedidn'tr
epl
ybeforeIheardvoi
cesandthent
he
l
[Link]
edagainandthi
stimehe
answered.
"
MaKhumalo"hesoundedsocoolf
orapersonwho
j
usthadhi
sphoneansweredbyanotherwoman.
"
Ibr
okemyl
eg.I
'
m att
hehospi
tal
"
"
Whathappened?Whi
chhospi
tal
?"
Igavehi
m det
ail
sandt
hehospi
talnameandt
hatI
wasinacast.
"
I'
llt
aket
henextavai
labl
efl
ightbackt
oDur
ban"
"
Okay"t
hatwasmyr
epl
ybef
oreendi
ngt
hecal
l.
"WhenIcalledsomeoneelseanswered.I
'
m sorr
yI
didn'
twanttoaddtoyourworri
es"saidNombuso
asshelookedsobot her
edasifshewast heone
havingpeopleansweri
ngherphone.
"
It
snotyourf
aul
t"shehadnor
easont
ofeelbad.
"Whodoyouthi
nki
sthatwoman?
"Asked
Phumel
ele.
"
Idon'
tknow"
"Maybeit'
saPAorsomet
hing"sai
dNombuso
clear
lyt
ryi
ngtomakemefeelbett
er.
"Maybe"t
hatwasal [Link]
dn'tevenknow
i
fNqubekot ravel
ledwi t
hhi [Link]
one?Therewasal otIdidn'
tknowaboutt hemanI
wasmar r
iedt oandf oralongtimeIsettl
edbutit
wasnevertool at
et ocheckt hi
ngscloserandsee
whatwasr eall
yhappeni ng.
Thephonemadeal lofusj
umpwheni [Link]
l
aughedatoursi
ll
inessbefor
eIanswered.
"
Hel
lo"
"
Imanagedtogetafl
ight
.Ishoul
dbether
ebef
ore
t
hiseveni
ng.I
'
m dr
ivi
ngtotheair
por
taswespeak"
"[Link] hen"Iwassurpr
isedbyhim cal
li
ng
mej [Link]
lt
?Orar ealworr
yover
aninjuredwif
einhi sabsent
.
"
Okay"heendedt
hecal
laf
tert
hat
.
"
Doyouthi
nkNqubekoischeat
ingonme?
"Iasked
myf
ri
endsstr
aightout
.
"[Link]
hinkso"sai
dPhumel
elequi
ckl
y"I
'
m sorry
butIreal
lythi
nkhehassomeoneel
seoutther
e"
Chapt
er3

Thedoctorl
etmegohomet hesecondday.
Nqubekowasbackandt aki
ngcar [Link] dn'
t
wantmet odoanyt hi
ngatal [Link]'
tsay
anythi
ngabouttheper sonwhoanswer edt
hephone.
Ididn'
taskbutIdidn'
tf or
[Link]
seeingsomeoneelseandmysi xt
hsenseswer e
[Link] edhis
[Link]
enedwhenhemadecal l
sandnot
iced
thedif
ferencesinhi
stoneeachti
mesomeone
call
[Link]
thr
oughhi sthi
ngshopingt
ocatchanyt
hingt
hat
wasgoi ngtobeproofbutt
herewasnothi
ng.
Thecastst ayedinmyl egfort [Link]
wholet hreeweekshet ookcar eofmewi thout
showinganyi mpat [Link] si nbed
whent heweat herwasbadbecausehesai dt he
bonehur tworsewheni t'
scol [Link] i
lldi
dsomewor k
butmost l
ycompl eti
ngher eandt herebecause
NombusoandPhumel eledidn'tfeelcomf ortabl e
beingar oundhi [Link] hatwoman, theone
peoplelookatandf [Link] emyf ri
ends
buttheywer epeopl [Link] tintheireyest hat
theywer esayi ng'Obviously'.Iwasmar r
iedbutmy
husbandandIdi dn'thavewhatmostcoupl esdi d.
Wewer el i
ketwopeopl emovi ngar oundcar eful l
yso
wedon' tbumpt ot heotherpar [Link] r
eat ingme
j
ustlikeIwast [Link] ngmypar tandhi m
hisevent houghhi m cheati
ngwasnotpar toft he
equation.
*
***
**
Thecastwasr emovedont he3r dweekandatwor k
theygavemet hatweekt ost ayhomeandr est
bef orelimpi ngt owor kbecauseIdi dhaveal it
tl
e
l
impt hatt hedoct orsai
dwi llgoawaywi t
hhelp
from wor koutact ivi
ti
[Link]
tohavet hewei ghtonmyl eggoneevent houghit
l
ef tmyl egdi rt
yandt hi
nnert hant [Link]
rst
daywi thoutt hecastNqubekodi dn'tgot oworkand
wor kedf rom [Link] f
eredt ocookbecauseI
mi ssedbei ngbusyandsi tti
ngar oundwasn' t
somet hingIenj oyedunlessIwasal [Link]'
t
sayanyt hi ngi nsteadhewentout sidetowor kint
he
gar denbecauset heeveningsonwasgood.
Icookedandcleanedtheki t
chenwhil
emymyeye
keptlooki
nginthegardenbecausehewasont he
phonemost l
[Link]
dt el
ljustbyt
hebodylanguage
thathewastalki
ngtoher .Heseemedrel
axed,too
rel
axedandlaughedfrom timetoti
me.
Whenmyhear
tcoul
dn'
ttakei
tanymor
eIpour
ed
someJoi
ceandt
ooki
ttohi
m.
"It
oldyou.I
'l
lsorti
tout"hewassayi
ngonthe
phonebeforehelookedupandsawmyshadow
approachbecauseIwascomingbehindhi
m.
"[Link].I'
l
lcal
lyouback"heendedthecalland
placedthephoneonthetablebef
orel
ookingback
[Link] ewasnosmilejustapl
easantfacethat
Iwasusedt o.
"It
houghtyoumi ghtbethi
rst
ysoIbr oughtyou
j
uice"[Link]
handr eachedoverandremovedthephonenextto
theglass.
"ThankyouMaKhumalo"hepushedthel
aptop
asidebeforehi
sat
tent
ionwasbackonthepaper
s
i
nf rontofhim.
"SohowiseverythinginCapeTown?Youcame
backinsuchahur [Link]
ngwasr ui
ned"
ther
ewasr esentmentinmyvoi ceandifheknew
meashi swifehewoul dhavepickeditupbutther
e
wasnouncomf or
tableshif
torsuddenpauseas
someonebeingcaughtout .
"
Ever
ythi
ngi
sfi
[Link]
ogobacksoon"
"
Soon?
"Iaskedmyvoi
cet
rembl
ingj
ustabi
t
"
Yes.I
tshoul
dbet
omor
rowbutIdon'
tthi
nki
tsf
air
"
"Fai
rtowho? "Iaskedquickly,soquickl
yheact ual
l
ookedatmewhenIsai dit"ImeanIdon' twantyour
businesstosufferbecauseofme.I fyouar e
desperatel
yneededt her
eIsaygo.I '
llhel
pyoupack"
myst atementwasmeantt ohidetherealfeel
ing
i
nsidemebutIwasf ai
li
ng.
"I
tcanwai
t.I
nsicknessandinheal
th"her
aisedhi
s
eyebr
owsasift
osay' duh'
"
I'
mfi
[Link]
eal
l
ydon'
tmi
nd"
"
[Link]
rowandyouar
est
art
ingt
osound
l
ikeyouar
echasi
ngmeaway"
"
[Link]
ustsayi
ngbecausei
t'
sbeen
weeks"If
akedasmil
ebutdeepdownIwassobbing.
"
Don'twor
ryabouti
[Link]
orthej
uice"t
hat
meantnowgoandInoddedbef or
egoi
ngbackto
t
hehouse.
*
***
*
Mymooddi dn'timpr [Link] shedup
andheat eever [Link] imeIlooked
athim Isawhi m wi thsomeoneel [Link]
waspr obablyther ewaiti
ngonhi [Link]
l
aughedwi t
hwhi lehehar dl
ymadeaj okewithme.
Someonehehel dhandswhi lesi
ttingont hecouch
whilewehar dlysati [Link]
senttheselit
tl
et extstowhileIwasaskedi fi'
m
okayandupdat edsoIcanst ayputlikeal i
tt
lewif
e
thatIreal
lywas.
Myangergr eweacht i
meIsawt hecluesI've
missedovert [Link] udyinghe
couldgof ordayswithoutsayingmor ethenhel l
oto
[Link] houghthedi dn'twanttodisturbmebecauseI
wasf ocusi [Link] oschoolunlessi
t
wasr ainingandhedi dn'twantmet odri
vei nthe
rai
[Link] lthosewerethecl [Link]
entert
ai ni
ngsomeoneel sewhileIwast reatedli
kea
[Link] esponsiblefor
.
"
Rightnow?
"Hi
svoicesnappedmebackt or
eal
it
y.
Hewasonthephoneandalreadyst
andi
ngupasif
hewasgoi
ngsomewher
e.
"Okay.I'
llcal
lyouwhenIknow"hewal kedt
othe
bedroom leavingmetostar
ebehindhim wonder
ing
whatwasgoi [Link]
ethewakeupcal l
noneofhi scallsbot
her
[Link]
dif
ferentnow.
Isatst
il
lwhenhecamebackwi
thhi
sjacket
.
"Ihavet ogotothehospi
tal
.Khethel
owasinacar
[Link]
ookmykeysol ockup"heinst
ruct
ed
andIdi dn'
[Link]
mplynoddedand
l
ockedt hedoorbehindhi
m.
Whent hegateopenedandcl osedIturnedthel i
ght
offandwentt [Link] he
[Link]
ippedthescreenopenandt urnediton.I t
request
edapasswor [Link]
ri
edf ewnamesbutt here
wereallwrongsoIgaveupandst ar
tedsearching
[Link]'tcheckproper ly
theweeksbef [Link] hingmuchj ustt he
companyf il
[Link] hebookshel ve
fl
ippi
ngpagesj ustincasehewashi dingsomet hi ng
i
[Link] hingbutIdi dn'
twanttot hinkI
waswr [Link]'
twr
[Link]
andthatsomeonewasclear
lyimpor
tantt
o
Nqubeko.
Isear chedunt i
lIstart
edr etr
acingmyownst eps
j
usti ncaset herewassomet hi
ngIwasmi ssi ng.
Ther ewasnot hingoutoft [Link]
sati
sf iedIstart
edchecki ngifIputever ythingback
andpi ckedupsomepaper sont hef l
[Link] eath
camet oasuddenst opwhenIsawi t
.Aphot o.A
womanst andi
ngi nfrontoft hecamer awhi l
e
Nqubekowasbehi ndherwear ingsungl assesand
[Link] aredatthephot ount ilateardr opped
ont hephot oinstantl
[Link] nf eltlike
someonewasbusyst abbi ngmer epeatedl yint he
hear [Link]
sttearssincemyweddi ngdaywer e
thet earsofheartbreakbecausemyhusbandhad
anot [Link] or elaxwi th.
Someonehehadconver sat i
onswi [Link]
tookphot oswhenweneverdi [Link] os
weret akeninthemi r
rorbecausehenevert ookany
phot [Link] i
mentmeona
hairstyleeventhoughhesai dIonl yneededt ocover
myheadi fwewer ehomewiththefami l
[Link]
diff
erenthairst
ylesandheneversai
danyt hing
aboutt [Link] dn'
tneedt
o,hehadsomeonehe
cuddl [Link] l
edwhen
thetookhi [Link] m even
thoughhewaswear i
[Link] ust
theret ocl
eanandcookandgi vehim sexifhe
want edsomeandshewasn' tavail
able.
Withshaki
nghandsIputt
hephot
obacktothe
papersi
twasinandwenttocr
yinbedunt
ilIf
ell
asl
eep.
Chapt
er4

"
Whatareyougoi
ngtodo?
"AskedPhumel
ele
l
ower
inghervoi
ce.
IwasbacktoworkandNqubekowasawayagain.
Thist
imehesaidhewasgoingto"
Ghana"butI
knewthat"
Ghana"washi
ssidechi
ck.
"Idon'tknow"Irepl
iedandl
ookedawaysoshe
wouldn'tseethetearsi
[Link]
tli
ke
everyoneknewevent houghtheydi
dn't
.That'
swhat
humil
iat
iondoest
oaper
[Link]
ntofeell
i
ke
ever
yoneknowsandt
heyarel
aughi
ngatyou.
"I
t'
[Link]
reat
"shout
edNombusowal
king
overtomydesk.
Idi
dn'twanttogooutsi
debutst
ayi
nggl
uedt
othe
chai
rwasn'thel
pingatal
l.
Phumel
elegr
abbedmyhandbagf
orci
ngmet
oget
upaswell
.
"
Wher
ear
ewegoi
ng?
"Iasked.
"Out
.Come"r
epl
iedNombusowi
thawi
degr
inon
herf
ace.
Theli
ftwaswor ki
ngagai nandIwassti
llaf
rai
dof
thest
air
sevent houghtheydidexpl
aint
hatthef al
l
wasn'
tcausedbyt [Link] l
led
somewat erandoneoft hehandymenwasgonet o
fi
ndthemop.

*
***
*
"Youdr
aggedusoutf
orhotdogs?"Compl
ained
Phumelel
ewhenNombusooffer
edtogetus
hot
dogsont
hesi
der
oadst
and.
"Begrateful
"shelaughedandplacedourorderto
[Link]'
tmi ndandIknewthatPhumel el
e
alsodidreal
[Link] en'
tthosepeoplewho
l
ookeddownont [Link] rom and
theyalsohadtheirpast.
"Hotforyouandplai
nforyou"shehandedust
he
takeawaysbefor
ewewal kedacrosst
heroadf
or
coffee.
"Ihavenoi deahowyoueatapl ainhot dog"t
hey
startedtakingajabatmeandIj [Link]
nor maldayIwoul dhavegoneallouttot r
yand
convi ncethem t
hatitwasbett
erwithoutthe
[Link] twasst
il
lsore.
Wepi
ckedacor
nert
abl
ebef
oreor
der
ingcof
fee.
"
[Link]
k"sai
dNombusot
urni
ngt
ome
"Aboutwhat?"Ial
readytoldt
hem thewhol
est
ory
[Link]
dn'tdoitagai
n.
"Everythi
[Link]
ikeyoudidn'
tsee
[Link]
didthatonpurpose"sai
dPhumelel
esoundi
ngl
ike
shewant edt
ogr abmyshoulder
sandgivemea
l
itt
leshake.
"
IknowbutwhatcanIdo?DoIj
ustdemandt
he
t
rut
h?"Il
ookedather
"Youthi
nk?Heischeat
ing"thi
sti
meshedidyell
andthencover
edhermout hwhenpeopl
earoundus
rai
sedthei
rheadsandl
ookedatus"Sorr
y"
"
WhatIdon'
tgetiswhydoesitbot
heryou?
"Asked
Nombusosi
ppinghercof
fee.
"
What
?Phumel
eleandIaskedatt
hesamet
ime.
"Don'[Link]
ivetwoseparat
e
l
[Link]
[Link],
hisjust
happentoinvol
veawomanbutyour sal
soinvol
ve
clubsandparti
es"
"Sot
hatgi
veshi
m ari
ghttocheat
?"Asked
Phumel
elel
ooki
ngatherwit
hhereyeswideopen
"I
tdoesn'
tbutalli
'
m sayingi
s,i
sitf
airt
hat
Thembekadoesal lthi
sandt
henexpectNqubekot
o
havethi
sperfectl
ife"
"[Link]"t
earsf
il
[Link]
cruel
.Bl
amingmeforhi
scheat
ing.
"Weareyourfri
endsandasfri
endsweoweyouthe
tr
[Link]
reat
ingyourhusbandasa
str
angeranddoingthi
ngsbehindhisback"
"
Soheshoul
dcheatf
ort
hat
?"Iyel
ledather
Whent het
earsexit
edmyeyesIsear
chedmy
handbagfort
hetissue.
"[Link] but
whil
eatitalsothi
nkaboutyourpartinthi
[Link]
secr
etnightsout,
thedri
nki
[Link] call
y
haveanotherli
feThembekaandhedoesn' tknow.
Youdon'tevenshowanyaf f
ecti
ont owardstheguy"
conti
nuedNombusoasi fshewantedt ofull
yuse
theopport
unitywhil
eshehadone.
"Andheshower smewi thlove?
"Thememor yofhim
smi l
ingwhil
etal
kingtoheronthephoneflashedon
mymi [Link]
didn'tIgett
hatt
oo?Whynotshowmesome
affecti
onaswell.
"
[Link]
li'
m sayi
ngi
s,l
et'
snotactl
ikeNqubekoi
s
t
hisbigmonst
[Link]
samanandmencheat
.At
l
easthecomehomewhenyouneedhi
m"
"Youareunbel
[Link]
orthehot
dog"I
stoodupandgr abbedmybagbef orewal
kingaway.

*
***
*
"Thisissill
[Link]
lyoustop!!
"Sheshout edbehindme
soundingl i
keshewasoutofbr [Link] ki
ng
hardlylookingupbecauseIwascr [Link]
enought hatIwasheartbrokenbutmybestf r
iend
wasbusydef endi
[Link]
dri
nkinganddanci ngcompar edtohim sleepi
ng
withanot herwoman?
"
Thembeka"yel
ledPhumelel
esoundi
ngcloserthan
NombusobutIkeptwalki
ngbef
oresomethinghit
[Link]
orwar dand
l
andedonthepoleheadfi
rst
.
Someoneel
seyell
edandIcoul
dseepeopl
elooki
ng
atmemostl
ywiththei
reyeswi
deopen.
"
Issheokay?
"Someoneaskedbef
oret
women
kneel
ednextt
ome.
"[Link]"t
hey
repl
[Link]
aredatthem wonderi
ngwhythey
neededt [Link]
etoooldfor
thi
s.
"Thembeka"shout
[Link]
ri
edtomovemy
headbutitfel
tst
[Link]
kemyneckwasbi
ggert
han
thehead.
"
Don'
tmoveher
.Shecouldhaveaser
iousi
njur
y.
I
nst
ruct
edt
hetwinsget
ti
ngup.
"Theambul
ancei
sher
e"sai
dPhumel
elet
aki
ngmy
[Link]
soadoubl
eandal
it
tl
eblur
.

*
***
*
Iwasawakeandal er
tastheycarri
edmet othe
hospit
[Link]
etfel
lfr
om thetruckand
[Link]
dn'tmakeanysenseandt hemor eI
thoughtaboutit
,itmademyheadhur tbeforeI
fi
nall
ysleeponlytowakeupi nahospitalbedwit
h
NombusoandPhumel elewatchi
ngme.
"
Youar
eawake"excl
aimedNombusocl
ear
lycr
ying.
Inoddedandmyneckwasabi tsor
ebutIcoul
d
movemyl egsandar [Link]'
t
paral
yzedjusti
njur
ed.
"
Howbadi
sit
?"
"I
[Link]
i
njuri
[Link]
dheali
n
[Link]' tmajoraswell
"
expl
ainedPhumel el
e.
"
[Link]
eave?
"
"Thedoctorwi
lll
[Link]
sapptext
[Link]
hyourphone"shepoi
ntedt
he
phonenexttothebed.
"
Thanks"Ireachedf
ori
tandther
eweremessages
f
rom Nqubekoandanot
hernumberIdi
dn'
tknow.
"I'
m [Link]
dn'
[Link]
didn'tmakeyouangryyouwoul
dn'thavel
eftli
ke
that"saidNombusosoundi
ngli
keshewasgoi ngto
startcryi
ng.
*
Iwashi
tbysomet
[Link]'
tyourf
aul
t"
"Thevanwasdel iver
ingt
hepall
etsi
nthatbui
ldi
ng
nexttoours.I
tsli
ppedaftert
heropebr
okeandone
hityou"expl
ainedPhumelele
"I
tsfine.I
'
m notser
iousl
yinj
uredanyway"I
unlockedmyphoneandr eadNqubeko'
smessages
fi
rst.
Hewascomi ngbackhomeassoonashegotthe
fl
[Link]
secondmessagewashi m aski
ngNombusotorepl
y
becauseshewasn'tansweri
[Link]
twotextmessageswerehim st
il
ldemandi
ngarepl
y
becausehewasn'tgett
inganyt
hingf
rom t
he
hospit
al.
Ideci
dedtotexthim andtel
lhi
m Iwasfi
[Link]
cal
ledimmediatel
yaftert
hatandIwait
edfora
momentbeforeanswer i
ng.
"
Whathappened?
"Ther
ewasnohel
lo
"
Iwalkedpastadeli
veringvanandgothitbya
f
all
ingpal
let
.It
[Link]
llpr
obabl
y
l
etmegohomet omorrow"thedoctorwal
kedin
"
Afal
l
ingpal
let
?Wher
ewas.
..
."hest
oppedt
alki
ng
"Who?Iwaswal ki
ngpast,wi
thmyfr
[Link]
didn'ti
njuremeonpurpose"hewasbeingdramati
c.
Actinglikealovi
nghusbandwhenhewasa
cheat i
ngpig.
"I
sthedoctort
here?Givehi
mthephone"he
demandedandIheldthephoneoutt
othedoct
or
befor
emout hi
ngsorr
ybecauset
hiswasso
unnecessar
y.
Theyspokef
orfewminut
esbef
oret
hedoct
or
ret
urnedmyphone.
"
I'
m sor
ryaboutt
hat
"
"I
tcomeswi [Link]
ikeItol
[Link] ar
everythi
ngseemst obeokaybutyouar estayi
ng
j
ustt [Link]
dseethatyouhadabr okenleg
beforeanditmightbeali
ttl
etenderbecauseofthe
fal
lbutitshouldbefi
neaswel l
"expl
ainedthe
doctorsoundingpl
easant
.
"ThankyouSi
r"sai
dNombusosmi
li
ngpol
it
elyt
o
him.
Phumelel
eandIlookedateachother
.Thedoctor
wasn'
[Link]
thoutt
hewhitecoatheprobabl
y
l
ookedgood.
"Thenursewi
llcometogiveyouyourmedi
cat
ion
andunfort
unatel
yladi
esyouwil
lneedtogi
veher
somerest"
"Wewil
lcomebacktotomorrow"sai
dNombuso
andwelaughedbef
orethedoctorwalkedout
qui
ckl
yafterf
umbli
ngwiththehandleabit.
"
Youar
esodi
rt
y"t
easedPhumel
ele
"I
'
m avail
able"i
nsi
stedNombusof
li
cki
ngherweave
dramat
icall
[Link] ebackt
obei
ngusgi
rl
s.
"
AndIsaygofori
t"Iencouragedbef
orehelaughed.
Whent
henursearri
vedtheysaidgoodbyeandlef
t.
Whenthenur
selef
taswellIt
ookthephoneand
wentt
oreadthemessagesfr
om t
henumberIdidn'
t
know.
"JustbecauseIlethi
m mar ryyou,i
tdoesn'
tmean
yougett ocal
[Link] [Link]
askedformyper missi
onwhenhemar ri
[Link]
stuntsyoukeeppulli
ngf orhisat
tenti
onarestar
ti
ng
[Link]' tmakemel osemycooland
dest
royyourl
it
tl
efant
asy"
Istar
edatt
hemessagefeeli
ngmybodystar
tto
heatupandmyar
mpi t
sitchi
[Link]
eshe?
WhenItr
iedtocal
lherbackt
henumberwentto
voi
cemai
[Link]
dedtosendatextmessageaswel
l
.
"Youar etheonel i
vingaf [Link] echeapand
hedi dn'tmar ryyoubecausehedi dn'
twantt [Link]
reasonhe' asked'forper missi onwasbecausehe
knewyouwer edumbenought olethim continue
usingyouwhi lehemar [Link] ar
edhi sl ove
formei nbr oaddaylightwhi lehei shavingahi dden
affairwi t
[Link] hinkingyouar ecall
ingt he
shot sbutwebot hknowt hatyouar eadel usional
hoe"whenIwassat isf
iedIpr essedsentand
wat chedast hemessagegotdel iveredandt hent he
twot icksbecamebl [Link] r
iedt ocallagain
shedr oppedt hecall
.Itriedt hreemor etimesbef ore
givingup.
[Link]
ime.
Iwait
edasmyphonedownl oadedthevideoand
thenpressedpl
ay.I
twasdar katfi
rstandthent
he
handt hatwasbl ocki
ngthevideowasr emoved
revealingNqubekoi nbedwhi l
eawomanwas
sit
tingonhi [Link] shandkept
brushingherni ppl
[Link]
shel aughedandst art
edmovi [Link]
backandf or
[Link] [Link]
eam on
topofmyl ungsandsmashmyphoneacr ossthe
room butIdi dn'
t.I
nsteadIfoundmyselftypi
nga
reply.
"Gr
eatvi
[Link] i
kesitwi
llget
onFacebook"withoutmissingabeatIqui
ckl
y
upl
oadedavi deoandthenputmyphonedown
bef
oresobbingont hepi
llow.
Chapt
er5

Nqubekoar ri
vedear l
[Link] dhearhi
m
askingtoseemeevent houghi twasn'tvi
sit
ing
[Link] serefusedbefor
ehest arted
demandinghi stonesoundi [Link]
soundedbef orehefinal
lywal kedi
nl ooki
ngbeyond
pissedoff.
"I
tsnotl
ikei'
m planni
ngtokillyouandipayreal
moneyforthis"hecli
ckedhistonguebefore
dumpingthebagont [Link] sphonerangandhe
l
ookedatitbeforeansweri
ng.
"
And?
"Hedi
dn'
tgr
eet
Icoul
dn'
thearwhatthecal
lerwassayi
ngbut
Nqubekokeptnoddi
ngasiftheper
soncoul
dsee
him.
"
Andyoucan'
tst
opi
t?"Heaskedaf
terawhi
le.
Ireachedf ormyphoneandswi tchedi tonbecause
iswitchedi toffafterupl oadingt hevi [Link]
momenti tcamet ol i
femessagescamef loodi ng.
Facebooknot if
icationsaswel [Link] hemessages
fi
[Link] rom mycol leagessayi ngiwas
hackedonf acebookandineededt odeact ivatethe
account .Somef r
om myf ri
endssayi ngineededt o
deletethevi [Link] hef acebookmessages
[Link] einsultingmecal l
ingmeabi t
ter
womanf orhumi l
iatinganot herwomanl iket hat.
Somepr ai sedmef oritsayi ngt heydeser veditand
thatihaddonei tforal lmar ri
edwomenwhoar e
forcedtodealwi
thsi
dechi
ckswhof
orgett
hei
r
places.
"Can'
tyout
alkheroutofit
?"Ihear
dNqubekoask
befor
eheturnedandlookedatme.
"[Link]"heendedt
hecal
lbef
orehe
putthephonebacktohi
spocket
.
Webothr emai
nedquietf
oraminuteandwhen
Nqubekoseemedlikehewasgoingtospeakt
he
dooropenedandthedoctorwal
kedin.
"[Link]
ingt
oday?
"He
askedaf
terhegreet
edmyhusband.
"
I'
mf eel
ingf
ine"ir
epl
iedwi
thoutl
ooki
ngat
Nqubeko.
"
Nonauseousness?
"Hel
ookedatt
hef
il
e
"
Nope"
"
[Link]
nki
ll
ersl
ate
l
astni
[Link]?"
"I
twasjustaheadache"icoul
dn'
tsayi
twas
becauseiwascryi
ngandmyheadbeganhur t
ing
andmynosegotbl ocked.
"[Link] hinkwe
[Link]
sure"hesmiledpolit
elybef
orewri
ti
ngdownont he
fil
e.
"
I'
mfi
nef
orr
eal
"
"Iknowbutweneedtobesur
eplusthi
sisyour
secondheadi
njur
[Link]
tsnothi
ngmajorbut
sti
ll
"
Nqubekocoughedmaki ngthedoctort
urnandl ook
athim bef
oreheconti
nuedwr i
ti
ngdownandt hen
[Link] walkoutand
cl
oset hedoorbehi
[Link] abbeda
chairandsatdownhiseyessti
llonme.
"Turnsoutdist
ribut
ingpornisacr i
meevenifyou
diditt
[Link]
openedandassoonasyoul eavethispl
aceyouare
goingtojai
l"hevoiceremainedt hesameasifhe
wasn'tdeli
veri
ngsomet hi
ngt hatmademyhear t
[Link] ryi
ngtohur tsomeonewhowas
tryi
ngtohurtme.
"
Iwasj
ustangr
ybecauseshesentmemessages
andt
hent
hevi
deo"
"
Andyout houghtwhynotupl
oaditonfacebook?
"
Hishandclosedar
oundthehospi
talsheethehel
dit
t
ight"Fort
hewholeworl
dtosee?"
Idi
dn'
thaveananswerf
[Link]
nkingabout
nowireali
sedwhyi
twassuchabadi [Link]
yit
wastoolate.
"I'
m sorr
y"that'
[Link]'t
compl et
[Link] heonewhoputuson
thissi
tuati
[Link]'tgooutthereanddi dasex
videoifwouldn'thaveexist
edandshewoul dn'
t
havesenti tt
ome.I twashi sfaul
[Link] both.
Hel
ookedatmeasi
fhewant
edt
ost
rangl
eme.
"Youdi
dn'twatcht
hatvi
[Link]?
"Heasked
aft
eramoment .Whydiditmatt
er?Washetr
yingt
o
tel
lmehedi di
ttoshowmehowsexwassupposed
tobeli
[Link]
doingt
hosemovesonhi m?
"
No.I
'
m notr
eal
lyi
ntopor
n"
Whenhesuddenl
yst
oodupIsankdownt
othe
pil
lowthinki
nghewasfinal
lygoi
ngtokil
lmeor
[Link]
ledhisphone
outpressedonitf
orasecondandturnedthe
screentowardsme.I
twasFacebookandhewas
showingmet hevi
deo.
"
Wat
ch"hedemanded.
"Why?SoIcanseeyouhavesexwit
hanot her
womanwhi l
eyouar
esupposedtobeouton
busi
ness?Doyouhatemethatmuch?"Iyell
edwi
th
myeyesclosed.
"Justwat
chthedamnvideoThembeka"he
demandedbefor
ehishandgrabbedmychi nandhi
s
finger
spr
essedonmyskin"Watchthefucken
video"
Myvisionwasbl
urredbythetear
sbutIst
il
l
watchedwit
hhim hol
dingthephoneonmyface
andhishandhol
dingmychi nsoIcoul
dn'
tmovemy
head.
"Haveyouseenmelookli
kethi
ssinceyouandIgot
marri
ed?"If
oundthequest
ionst
rangebutsti
llI
star
edatthevi
[Link]
hairi
[Link]
randt [Link]
didn'
[Link] ways
rocki
ngt heshi
ningheadnowj ustlet
tinghisbear
d
andsideburnsgrownoutbeforet r
immi ngi
t.
"Itwasover9year sago.I t
sanol dvideothatgot
stolenwhent heyhackedSi zakele'
semai l
swhen
shedeci dedtobeapol it
ici
[Link] ejustbeing
[Link] hefootageandt hen
i
tsawst oredondr i
vealongwi thsomeemai lsthe
hackerwasaf t
[Link] hevideoandst olei
t.
Wedi dn'
tknowt hehackerandwewer ewat ching
outf oranyonewhowi lll
[Link] ditfor
them"hel etgoofmeputt hephonebackt ohis
pocketbef oresi
tti
ngdownagai n.
"[Link]
[Link]
editmorethanonce"Iwipedt
he
tear
sinmyeyes
[Link]
passwordbuthedidn'
tgivei
ttomet ounl
ockit
.I
watchedhimtouchitbef
orethesoundofthevi
deo
fi
ll
[Link] d?
"Wait
"heseemedtobethi
nki
ngsomethi
ngbef
ore
helookedatme"Yousai
dsheanswer
edmy
phone?"
"[Link]
uredthefi
rstt
[Link]
iends
call
edyouandsheanswer [Link]
eftamessage.
Whenyoudi dn'
tcal
lbackIcall
edandsheanswered
beforehangi
ngupandt henIcall
edagai
n"
"Answer
edmyphone?Nooneansweredmyphone.
Whenyoucall
edIwas.
..
."Heseemedtor
emember
somethi
ngbef
orehest
artedmaki
ngacallwi
thhi
s
ownphone.
"
It
'sPatr
ici
[Link]
ndPatr
ici
a"hedemandedbef
orehe
t
hrewthephoneonthebedinfr
ust
rati
on.
"
Whoi
sPat
ri
cia?
"
"Theper
sonwhoanswer edmyphonei nCapeTown.
That'
sbi
tch"hisf
istbangedt
hebedr epeat
edl
y
befor
eheburiedhisheadonhishands.
"Whydi dPat
ri
ciaansweryourphone?"Iwasn't
fol
lowingandhewasn'texact
lyexpl
aini
ngthingsi
n
detai
ls.
Heopenedhismouthtospeakbutst
oppedasi
f
debat
ingwhethert
otel
lmeornot.
"Tosetatr
apandyoufel
lri
ghti
ntoi
t"t
hedoor
openedandthenur
sewalkedi
nwithbr
eakf
ast
.
Nqubekodi
dn'
[Link]
thepushedt
he
t
raytowar
[Link]
it
ebutwhenhe
l
ookedatmeandplat
eIknewIneededt
oeat.
"Soyouwer ei
nCapeTownwi t
hPat r
ici
[Link]
answersyourphone, sendmemessagesabout
yourrelati
onshipandthensendmeavi deohopingI
l
eaki t
.Ileakitandnowshei splanni
ngtosueme
forit
?"Iaskedwhi l
estabbi
ngtheeggwi thaplast
ic
fork.
"
Yout
hinki
'
m cheat
ingonyou?
"Heasked
"
Areyounot
?Shewasi
nCapeTownwi
thyou"
"Iwast her
eforbusi
[Link]
ici
atoobutcl
earl
yher
businessinvol
vedrui
ningmyl i
feusi
ngmyown
wifebecausemyownwi fedoesn'
tevent
rustme"
heyelled
"
WhatwasIsupposedt
othi
nk?Yout
ravelal
ot.I
cal
landawomananswer [Link]
messagessayi
ngyouloveherandyouaskedf
or
herpermi
ssi
onbefor
emar ryi
[Link]
supposedt
othi
nk?"
"Andyoucoul dn'tconfr
ontme?Youcoul dn'
twai
tti
ll
Iwasher eandt [Link],showme
thatyoucanhavet hebarmanatClub21, ort
he
bouncerinthatst upi
dclubyougirl
slovesomuch.
Youcoul dhavedoneanyt hingThembekabutnot
humi l
iat
emeoverawomanyoudon' tevenknow"
Ichockedontheeggandcoughedunti
lhewal
ked
overtothebedandhi
tmybackseveralti
mes.
"
Youknowaboutt
hecl
ubbi
ng?
"Iaskedmyvoi
cei
n
awhi
sper
"[Link] ofaranddancedon
thetabl
esfl
ashingthosepinkpanti
esIburnedthe
momentIboughtt hephotos"hespokeli
kethi
swas
okay.
"
Youbur
nedmyunder
wear
?"
"
[Link]
eat
hershor
tst
oo"
"
Idon'
towntheleat
hershor
ts"hewasconf
usi
ng
mewit
hhissidechi
ck.
"
Youdobutyoujustdi
dn'tgetachancet
owear
t
hem"hesoundedthri
ll
ed
"Sot
het
ripsar
eal
iet
oo?Youst
ayi
ntownandspy
onme?"
"Soyouthinkanysanemanwoul dtr
avelupand
downwhi l
el eavi
nghiswif
eal
one?Hisyoungwif
e?"
Hegavemet hel
ookthati
mpl
iedIwasstupi
dfor
notseei
ngt hisearl
y.
"Soyout
hinkit
sokaytostal
kme?Treatmeli
kei
'
m
somesortofapossessi
on?Somet
hingyouown?
"
"Stalk?Thi sisnotstalki
[Link] l
doutther
e
[Link] tmanknowst hatyouhaveto
prot ectyourfamily.I
fIwast reati
ngyoul ikea
possessi onyouwi l
lbestayingint hathouseand
onlycomi ngoutwhenI '
mt [Link] eer
,
wel lyouhadsi nceIdoubtyouwi llwanttogoback
towor kafteral
lthis"
"
Whywoul
dn'
tIgoback?
"
"YouknowIwoul df indt hiscuteandhear twar mi ng
i
fitwasn' tpissingmeof [Link] eall
ythinkl if
e
willbet hesameagai n?Youar ealloverthe
newspaper [Link] fewhosehusbandmadea
sexvi deowi t
hhi ssi dechi [Link] uinedusbot h.
AndSi zakeleandSwel ihlewant stosueyouf or
l
eaki ngt hevideo.I twi llrui
nherpol iti
calcar eer.
Don'tevenst [Link] odosomeser ious
damagecont [Link] yyouwai t
edandconf ronted
meaboutavi [Link] fIcheatdoyour eallythink
Iwoul dmakeavi deoandr i
skyouseei ngi t?You
didn'tevenl ookcar efullytoseet hatitmustbeol d.
Wewer ebot hdatingandf ooli
ngar ound.I fonlyher
phonedi dn'tbackupt hevi deo"
"
Idi
dn'
tknow.I
'
m sor
ry"
"Ihavet
otalkSizakel
[Link]
phonetoseeifwecan' tf
indt
heper sonbehindthe
[Link]
ookingf
orPat ri
ciasheisali
nk
towhoeverthat'
swantstodestr
oymeorSi zakel
e
orusbothsincetheyusedyou"
"
Soyouar
enotsl
eepi
ngwi
thPat
ri
cia?
"
"Ofcausenot
.Doyour
eal
lynott
rustmeatal
l?
"He
soundedhurt
"Youactdiff
erentwit
[Link]
speakdiff
[Link] okesand
l
aughbutyouhar dl
ylookatmeasi fyouf i
ndme
i
nterest
[Link]' teventalk"
Helaughedandi
tmademefeel
evenmorestupi
d.
Ofcausewhywouldhef
indmesexyori
nter
esti
ng.
"Thef i
rstnightaf t
erwegotmar r
iedIaskedyoui f
youar [Link] [Link] hreedayssi ncewe
gotmar r
iedyousai dt hreewor [Link],
[Link] hemostIgetf rom you
i
sOkay, [Link] esomet imesi'm
exhaust edandIwantt ogot obedear l
ysoIdon' t
saymuchbutevenwhenIdosaysomet hingi'
m
l
ikelytogett hoset hreewor dsormaybet heextra'I
seeittoo' oncei nawhi [Link] ar t
edhaving
fri
endsIsawasmi leI'
veneverseenbef oreand
heardyoul aughsoIl ett heli
fest
ylecontinue
becauseatl eastIknowyoucanl aughanddo
what everwi ththem event houghyoudon' tshow
thattome"hewasnol ongerlaughing.
"
Iwasyoungwhenwegotmar
ri
[Link]
ed"
"Iknowthat'
swhyIdi
dn'
tdemandthi
ngsfr
om you.
That'swhyIwant
edyoutohaveacar
eer,
make
yourownmoneyandnotbetieddownwit
hkidsand
thishouse"
"Si
ncewearet
alki
[Link]
hing?
"I
pushedasi
det
heplateandl
ookedathi
m
"
Ask"
"Whydidyoumar r
yme?Iknowt hatmyuncleswer
e
eagertohavemeof ft
osomeoneelsebutyoucoul
d
havemarriedsomeoneel
[Link]
h
l
ifeexper
ience"
"Becausei fIdi
dn'tmar ryyoutheywer ealready
negotiati
ngwi t
hBab' Ngcobowhowant edt omake
youhisf [Link] dl
yaffor
dt hethree
hehasbuthewant edyouandyourf amilywas
will
ingsoIsai dI'
llratheryoumar rymeandcomet o
Durbant hanmar ryhi m andstayther
ewi thno
educationjustgivinghim kids"
"
Isee"
"Wear et
alki
[Link]'ttaket
[Link]
mor eOkay,ThanksandIsee"hepull
edthechair
andsatdowncl oserthanhesatwhenhefir
st
arr
ived.
"
Ithoughti
[Link]'
tawar
eitwasme"
"I
[Link]
fi
rstsawthevideoandithadcamef r
om your
FacebookIthoughtit
'sbecauseyouhat
emef or
makingyoumywi f
e"
"Iwasf
eel
inghear
tbr
[Link]
dn'
tthi
nkand.
..
..
"Hi
s
phoner
ang
Inoddedt
ohi
mtoanswer
.
"
Trevor
"heanswer
ed.
Ist
abbedt
henowcol
deggandat
eit
.
"Ar
eyousur e?"Heaskedhi
svoicesoundi
nglikeit
wasn'thi
[Link]
inuedwhil
eheli
stened
andthenafterawhil
ehesaidokayandendedt he
cal
l.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"Iaskednotl
iki
ngt
hef
ace
"
Pat
ri
ciai
[Link]
oundhangi
ngi
nher
house"
"
What
?Soshehangedher
sel
f?"
Nqubekolookedatmebef or
ehishandreached
overandclosedaroundmi [Link]
dhi
shandback.
Itwassomet hi
[Link] hingwebothweren'
t
usedtobutwedi dn'
tletgo.
"Ithi
nkshewaski ll
edandthepersonwhokilledher
i
st hesameper sonwhosentyout hatvi
deoand
thoset extt
[Link] l
encedherbecausethey
knewwewi llfi
gureitout
.Shewasouronl yl
inkto
whoeverst olethatvi
[Link]
justtogetyouupsetandt henthemessages
conf i
rmingwhatshewant edyousosuspect .Yeah,
Pat r
ici
aknew"
Chapt
er6

Theyletmegohomeaf t
ertheseconddayatthe
hospi
[Link]
ferentinsomanyways.I twas
str
anget hataf t
erjusttalki
ngtoNqubekoour
rel
ati
onshi pwasnowdi f
ferent
.Heheldmyhand
whenwel [Link]
ingf
inebutthat
di
dn'
tstophimfrom f
ussingwhichIactedli
keI
di
dn'
tli
kebutdeepdownIwasl ovi
[Link]
ed
pi
zzabecausenoneofuswant [Link] eit
st
rai
ghtfr
om theboxanddr ankjui
cewhilet
heTV
wasonbutwewer en'
treall
ywatching.
"
Ican'
tbel
ieveIwassost
upi
d"hesmi
ledand
l
ookedatme.
"St
upi
dhow?"Ismi
ledt
[Link]
s
event
houghIhadt
aughtmysel
ftolivewit
hout.
"Wast edti
methinkingyouwi
llautomatical
lycome
[Link] dhaveseducedyoual ongt i
meago"
hedr oppedhisvoiceint
oadiff
[Link]
wassexi eranditmademewantt ogiggleforno
reasonatall.
"
AndIwasj
ustsoaf
rai
dandt
hengotusedt
oit
"
"
[Link]
ules,nevereverfearme"histhumb
t
[Link] orei
gntouchf rom amanand
i
tmademyskintickl
eandasmel lofhi
sperf
ume
mademewanttocur luponhi slap.
"
Iwon'
t.I
'
m nol
ongert
hatgi
rl
"
"Youwi l
lal
waysbethatgi
rl
.Mygir
l"hemoved
closerandkissedmyfor
ehead.
"
Idon'
tthi
nkImi
[Link]
hingel
se?
"
"
Ask"hedi
dn'
tletgoofme
"Whydidn'tyougetmar r
iedear
ly?Imeani '
m sur
e
you'vemetsomanywomenbef [Link]?"I
wasnothingspecial
.Iwasn'tuglyjustanormal
personwithinsecur
it
ies.
"Idi
dhavesomeonebef or
[Link]
[Link]
dednottogothroughwithi
t"
hepausedandmovedabi tsowecouldfaceeach
other"Shewant
edadiffer
entli
feandIwanted
somet hi
ngel
[Link] hi
ngsingoodterms"
"
Soshei
snotgoi
ngt
orockupandwantyouback?
"
Helaughedandl oweredhisheadbef orehekissed
[Link] lkisslikewedidat
thehospit
albutitwasn't
.Heki ssedmewi t
hsuch
hungerandhi shandsgrippi
ngmyi [Link]
hefinal
lypulledbackIgaspedf orairbecauseI
for
gottobr eatht
hroughthekiss.
"EvenifsherocksupI'm nolongeravail
abl
e.
Loyalt
ymeansal ott
omeMaKhumal [Link]'
m ver
y
l
oyaltopeoplewhoar [Link] d
deathwilldousapartImeanti t
"
"
Ial
soloveloyal
ty"amemoryofmedancingonthe
t
abl
efl
ashedonmymi ndbutheknewabouti
tand
i
twasoutintheopen.
"Good"heki ssedmyl i
psagainandhishandwas
alreadytravel
ingunderneat
hmyshi rt
.Myhead
startedgoingintopl
[Link] hesexgoingt
o
i
mpr oveaswel l
?Itwasn'tr
eal
lybadbutitwasn'
t
l
iket hesexInor mal
lysawonTV.
Whenhefi
nal
lypul
ledawaymybrawasl
oseand
t
wobutt
onsundoneonmyshir
t.
"Ihatethatpal
let
"hewhi speredbefor
ehestoodup
andpulledmeup" I'
l
lcl
eant hisupandtur
noffthe
l
[Link] obedI'
llbet
her ejustnow"
"
Okay"Igr
abbedmyphoneandl
efthi
m.

*
***
**
"DoyouhaveanycluesaboutPat
ri
cia'
ski
ll
er?
"I
askedaf
terhej
oinedmei nbed.
"NothingyetandSizakeleissti
llplanni
ngtogo
aheadbutwemanagedt omakeherseet hatyour
partinthi
swasj ustuploadingi
t .Mybiggest
problem nowisnotknowi ngwhoi sdoi
ngthisand
why"
"
Doyouhaveal
otofenemi
es?
"
"Sadl
yinbusinessenemi
esarepartofthepackage.
That'
swhyI'vebeenputt
ingyoursaf
etyfi
rst
"
"
Hir
ingsecur
it
yforme?"Itwassostr
angethateven
mysixt
hsensesnevert
oldmethatIwasbeing
f
oll
owedbysomeone.
"Don'
tmakeitf
ormal
.Justt
okeepaneyeonyou"
helaughed
"
Itseemsli
keIdon'
treal
lyknowmuchaboutyou.
Whatexact
lydoyoudo?"
Icoul
dseehi
ssmi
legr
owi
ngevenmor
ewi
de.
"
Letmeshowyou"hegr
abbedhi
sphoneandbegan
tel
li
ngmeabouthisbusi
[Link]
ist
enedandasked
questi
onswher
eIdidn'
tunderst
[Link]
yawnedheputthephoneasi
deandkissedme.
"Ial
mostforgot
"hegotupandwentt ot hecl
oset
befor
ecomi ngbackwithali
tt
ler
ectangularbox
"Fort
hehairst
[Link]
sandthoughtitwil
llook
goodwit
ht hatnewweaveyouhadont heotherday"
hehandedmet hebox.
Itwasjewelr
[Link]
yevery
nowandt henbuthehadahabitofputt
ingiti
nmy
drawerwit
houtsaying.
"
It
sbeaut
if
[Link]"
"I
'
m [Link]"heki
ssedmycheek
andtooktheboxfr
om [Link]
redsoI
cl
osedmyeyesandsl ept
.

*
***
*
Theneedt opeewokemeupandIwassl eepi
ng
[Link]
ightwasonbutthehousewas
[Link]
opeefir
stbef
orechecki
ngifhe
[Link]'tbuthi
sl aptopwasopen
onthetabl
[Link] tr
equir
eda
passwordwhichIdidn'
tknowsoileftitli
kethatand
wenttocheckthekit
chendoorjustincasehewas
outsi
[Link] ockedandt he
keygone.I
twast hesamewi tht
hef rontdoorwhich
meanthelockedmei nsi
de.
Iwentbacktothebedr
oom andmyphonewas
char
[Link]
aledhi
snumberandhi
sphonerang
oncebeforeheanswer
ed.
"
MaKhumal
o"
"
Wher
ear
eyou?
"
"
Out
[Link]
obedI
'
llbebacki
nami
nut
e"
"Whatareyoudoi
ngout si
dei
nthemiddleoft
he
night
?"Iwentl
ookoutthewindowandtherewasno
oneoutsi
[Link]'
trepl
y.
"
Nqubeko"
"Gobacktobed.I
'l
lexpl
ainwhenIcomei
n"he
endedthecal
laft
erthat
.
Ihadnochoi
cebutt
ogobackt
obedandwai
t.I
t
bother
edmet hathewasout
sidebutIcoul
dn'tsee
anyoneout
[Link]
hislate?
Isattheref orami nutebefor emycur iositywas
point
ingmebackt ot helaptopinhi sst [Link]
backandt r
iedt ocrackapasswor [Link] r
ieddifferent
datesandt heydi dn'[Link] ogiveup
whensomet hi
ngt ol
dmet ot r
yourweddi ngdat [Link]
wascor rectandIwasi natl [Link] r
aight
toemai l
sandt helastemai lhadar r
ivedoveran
[Link] nsoIr eadtheemai [Link]"Next
ti
meIwon' tmi ss"andincludedanat tachment .I
cli
ckedtheat t
achmentandf rozewheni twasmy
photobei ngcar ri
edtoanambul ancebyt wo
paramedi cs.
Whent heshockstart
edwear i
ngof fIcl i
cked
anotheremail
.Itwashour sol
daswel [Link]
nomessagej [Link]
att
achmentandi twasmyphot odrunkatcl ub21
withNombusocar ryi
ngmyshoesandhandbag
whilePhumelel
ewassuppor t
[Link] emembered
[Link] essf unandit
[Link] ookaphot oandnow
sendingthem [Link]'tknowIwould
havebeenwor r
iedbuti
tdidn'[Link]
usI
wasst i
llshakenbythefir
stemai l
.DiditmeanI
wasn'ti
nj ur
edbyaf al
li
ngpalletbutsomeonedid
thatonpur poseandwast r
yingtoki l
lme.
Thedoorsl
ammingmademej umpandknockedthe
gl
assthatwasont
hetabl
[Link]
andedonmyfoot
maki
ngmeshr i
eki
npainthatbl
endedwi
tht
hefear.
"Thembeka"Nqubekorushedinandfoundme
sobbingonthefl
[Link]'tevenseri
ousl
y
i
njuredbutIcont
inuedtosobwhi l
ehegatheredme
i
ntohi sar
msandhel dmelikethatonthefl
oor.

*
***
**
Whenthecryi
ngdieddownhel etmegoandrubbed
myfootl
ikeIwasasmal lchi
ldshowingt
hepar
ent
wherei
thurtandexpect
ingthem t
otaket
hepain
away.
"
I'
m sor
ry"
"
Soi
twasn'
taf
all
ingpal
letbutadi
recthi
tthat
missed?
"Ihuggedmykneesandhest
opped
r
ubbingmyfoot.
"I
twasn'
t.I
tseemssomeoneisgett
ingper
sonal"he
pull
edsomethi
ngbehi
ndhim andpushedi
taside.
WhenIlookedagai
nIsawitwasagun.
"
Youhaveagun?
"
"
Yes"hepushedi
tfur
therawayasi
fhef
ear
edI
mightpi
cki
tup
"
Whendi
dyoubuyagun?
"
"WhenIstartedthebusinessandpeopl estarted
[Link] orcedtolearntherulesofthe
[Link]'tkil
ledanyoneyet .ButIdoesseem
l
ikesomeonewant stotestme"Ist ar
edathi m.
Nqubekodidnotl ookli
kesomeonewhoeven
thoughtt
hingsli
ket hati
nhi sl
if
[Link]'teven
i
magi nehi
m pulli
ngt hetri
gger.
"
Soi
'
mthet
arget
?"Evensayi
ngt
hisf
eltsounr
eal
.
"
AtleastnowIknowwhoi ti
sandnoonesogoi
ng
t
otouchyou"Ilookedathi
m andf
eltt
het
ear
sburn
[Link] ai
th
i
nhim butIdi
dn'
tseehi
m goagainstpeopl
ewho
coul
dsetupsomethi
ngtolookl
ikeanaccident
.
"
Whoi
sit
.Whatdoeshewant
?"
"Whenweboughtf ourmor etr
uckssomepeopl e
didn'
tli
keitandwest art
edhavi ngtheseproblems
whichturnedoutitwast hem tr
yingtobuyt heirway
i
[Link] goswerehijackedandi twasacl ear
[Link] heywantt obeper sonal"
"
SoI
'
mindangerunt
ilyougi
veupyourbusi
ness?
"
"Wewil
lsor
tthi
sout
.Wej
usthavet
obeext
ra
car
eful
"
"
Ext
racar
efulhow?
"Thel
ookonhi
sfacesai
dital
l
"
Nomoregoingout?
"
"
Unl
essi
'
mther
eoryouar
eescor
tedbysecur
it
y"
"Andwork?"Icoul
dn'
timagi
neworki
ngwi
th
someonejustther
estar
ingatme.
"Youhavetotakel
eave.I
fitget
swor
seyouwi
ll
havetoresi
gn"
"
Asi
nqui
tmyj
ob?
"
"
Iwi
llgetyouanot
herone"
"ButIl
ikei
tther
[Link]
ri
endst
her
[Link]
coll
eaguesNqubeko"
"
Youwillmakenewfri
endswhenyougetanot
her
j
[Link]
eismoreimpor
tant
"
"
Sowher
eist
hesecur
it
y?"
"Hewi l
lbeheretomor
[Link]
'sgoingt
obeokay"he
kissedmyforeheadbefor
ewr appi
nghisar
m
aroundme.
"
MaybeIshoul
[Link]
ncase"
"Yeahsure.I
'
llcheckift
hereisoneli
ghtenoughf
or
theset
inysofthands"hejokedbefor
etaki
ngmy
handtohis.
IlaughedbutIwasn' tj
oki
[Link]
someonet houghttheycouldjustcomeki
llmethen
theytofi
ndmer eady.
Chapt
er7

"
Mor
ning"whi
sper
edNqubekowhenIopenedmy
eyes
"Morning"I
[Link]
dn'twakeupthi
sear
ly
sinceIwasn'tworki
nganymoreandNqubekowas
homemor ebecauseIwasaf
raidtobeal
one.
"
Didyousl
eepwel
l?
"
"
Noni ght
marest
oday"i
twasaweekl
aterand
f
inal
lythebaddr
eamswestar
ti
ngtol
eavemealone.
"
[Link]
ogot
otheof
fi
[Link]
thme"
[Link] ogoto
workwithhi
m eversi
ncewewer emar r
[Link]
anyofhisst
affevenknewmeatal l
.
"
Off
ice?
"
"[Link]
ngsIneedt odoandI '
l
lfeel
betterwi
thyouar
[Link]
ustchil
lin
myof fi
ceandnoonewillbotheryou"
Iwantedtosuggestinvi
ti
ngmyf ri
endsoversowe
[Link] nceIl
astsaw
them butIdi
dn't
,inst
eadInodded.
"
LetmeseewhatI
'
llwear
"
"I'
llgomakebr eakfastwhi l
eyougetr eady"he
kissedmyl ipsbeforeget ti
ngof ft
[Link]
himl eavetheroom bef orereachingformyphone.I
checkedwhat sappf ir
standIhadt womessages
from Nombusosayi ngt heywer emissi
ngmeand
[Link] epl
ybefore
[Link] deowasn' tt
rendi
ngany
mor eafterpeoplewer ewar nedwi t
hprosecuti
onif
theycont i
nuedtoshar et [Link]
becauset heystoppedsendi ngmemessages.

*
***
*

Thedr i
vet otheoff
icesdi dn'tmakemef eelbetter
butwet alkedandshar edj okesbecausewewer e
bothtryi
ngt obenor malar oundeachot [Link]
nervousaboutembar rassinghimi nfrontofhis
staff
.Thedr essIwaswear i
ngwasmeantt ogi ve
meconf idencebutt hemomenthest oppedt hecar
i
nt heparkinglotIfoundmysel fbackintoacl ueless
chil
dthatIwaswhenwegotmar r
ied.
"[Link]
ied"hesteppedi
nfr
ont
ofmemakingmest opl
ooki
ngar oundtheal
most
emptypar
kinglot
.
"
Youhavenosecur
it
yint
hispl
ace?
"
"[Link]'
twor
rywearesaf
eher
[Link]"he
smil
edandtookmyhand.
Theli
ftopenedbeforeweevengottoitwhi
chwas
somethingIfoundreal
lyweir
[Link]'
tyou
supposedtopresstheli
ftf
ir
stli
kenormall
if
ts.
Themomentwegotinsi
deitcl
osedandagaini
t
st
artedmovi
ngwi
thoutNqubekopressi
ngany
but
tons.
"Sothel
if
toper
atei
tsel
f?"Iaskedasi
tst
oppedand
opened.
"[Link] [Link] hi
ngwewer eplaying
aroundwi [Link]"hest eppedoutandIf ol
lowed.
Thepar kinglotwasal mostempt yandIassumed
theoffi
ceswoul dalsobeal mostempt ybuttomy
surpri
set hereweresever alpeoplewalki
ngar ound.
Somewi thcoffeeandbr i
ef cases,somegreeti
ng
cheerf
ul l
yateachot her
.
"
Morni
ngThobi
le"sai
dNqubekogr
eetingt
hefront
l
adywhol
ookedupandhereyesstayedfi
xedon
me.
"
MorningSi
r"hereyeswentovert
oNqubekof
ora
momentandthencamebackt ome"Mrs
Mbonambi"
Themomentshesai
dthatoutloudt
hewhol
ear
ea
wentqui
etandt
heyal
llookedatus.
"[Link]'
tactal
lweir
[Link]
smywi f
e.
ThembekaMbonambi "heannouncedandot
her
s
l
aughedbeforeoneladywalkedover
.
"
Nicet
ofi
nal
lymeetyou"sheof
fer
edahand.
"
Met oo"Ismil
edbackfeel
ingsost
ranget
hatthey
wereallwat
chi
ngmel i
ketherewassomet
hingI'
m
missi
ng.
"I
'
llbri
ngyourcof
feeandher
ear
eyourmessages"
saidThobeka
"
Andsomechocolat
emuffinsformywi
fe"het
ook
t
hemessagesfr
om hert
ookmyhandbef or
ewelef
t
t
hear
eaheadingtowhatIassumedwashisof
fi
ce.
"Youhavenicecol
leagues"Icomment
edashe
unlockedt
heoffi
ce.
"Someti
mestheyactl
ikesibl
ingsbuttheydel
iver
"
healsosoundedl
ikeaproudparent.

Theof fi
cesmel l
edlikeNqubekoandal so
resembl edhi
[Link] ealsur
pri
sewas
thenumberofphot ographsofmehehadonhi shi
s
[Link] hem wer epi
cturesIt
ookatschool
whent [Link]
weret akenbeforeIgotmar r
ied.
"
Wheredi
dyougett
hesephot
os?
"Iaskedwhi
le
l
ooki
ngatt
hem
"Youralbum [Link] ookedati tandlovedt hese.
Especiall
ythatone"hepoi ntedthephot owher eI
waswear i
ngat r
adit
ionalout f
itsi
t t
ingonar ock
nearther i
ver"Wheneveri tfeelslikeIcan'tgoon, I
comeher eandl ookatt hi
sphot [Link] emember
whyIneedt okeepgoi [Link] [Link]
beauti
fulwife"hewr appedhi sarmsar oundme
befor
epl acinghischinont opofmyhead.
"ExcusemeSi
[Link]
sher
etoseeyou"
saidamanbehindus.
"ThanksThat
o"sai
dNqubekonotl
ett
ingmegosoI
couldseewhothi
sThat
owas.
"Andherei
sthecof
feeandt
hemuf
fi
ns"sai
d
Thobi
le
"ThanksThobi [Link]
oreyougo"saidNqubeko
beforelet
[Link] urnedaroundandmyeyes
mett hefaceoft hemanIoncef li
rt
edwi thinthe
[Link]
zedmebecausehe
l
ookedsur prisedbeforerecover
ingquickly.I
twasn'
t
aser i
[Link] unkandwepl ayedsome
[Link] e.
Idi
dn'
tevenhearwhatNqubekosai
dtoThobil
ebut
whentheyal
lst
aredatmeIreali
zedhewastal
king
tome.
"
Sor
ry"It
urnedt
oNqubeko
"
Thobilewi
llt
akecar
eofyouwhil
eIdealwith
Kheswaintheboar
[Link]
ryaboutt
his"
repeat
edNqubeko
"
It
[Link]'
tmi
nd"Ipickedupthecoff
eeandthe
muff
inbeforewai
ti
ngforThobil
etoleadtheway.
"I
'
llbedonei
naminute"heki
ssedmyl
ipsbef
ore
handingmemyphone.

*
***
*
Thobi l
ewast alkat
[Link]
dlygavemeachance
toaskanyt hi
ngatal l.I
nlesst
hanf i
veminutesshe
alreadytoldmewhowascheat ingonwhoandwho
wasgunni ngf orapr omoti
onandhowt heywer eall
wonder ingwhyInevercamear [Link]
swhol e
ti
meIwasj ustgr i
nningli
keafoolbecauseIreall
y
didn'tknowwhatt osay.
"Thob'[Link] hi
sforme"saidThato
wal ki
ngovertoThobil
e'[Link] l
edsowide
andIf igur
edshehadacr ushonhim orsomethi
ng.
That owasboyishl
[Link] ookedl
ike
someonewhowasn' tgoingtoagelikenormal
peopl ebutwasmor el
ikelytokeepthebabyface
forever.
"
Sur
e.I
'
llbebacknownow"sher
epl
iedwi
thoutany
hesi
tati
onandt
ookthef
il
esbef
orehur
ryi
ngdown
thepassagewi
tht
hem.
"I
tsasmallworl
d"hespokeashewal
kedar
oundt
o
occupyhernowvacantchai
r.
"Meani
ng?
"Ir
epl
iedwi
thoutf
ocusi
ngmyeyeson
him
"
[Link]
hknowwhathappenedwhenwe
met
"
"
Yeahbutt hatwasi nadi
fferentpl
ace,di
ff
erent
t
imeandnot hi
ngreall
[Link] e
wit
hmyf riends"Iusedarelaxedtonesohe
wouldn'
tthinkIwasbeingdef ensi
ve.
"
Real
ly?Sot
hebossknowst
hatyouf
li
rti
ncl
ubs?
"
"
[Link]
ongasnoonetr
iestocross
t
heli
ne"Ipushedt
hechai
rbackwhenhereached
f
orapenacrossme.
"Whati
fsomeonef eel
saneedt oexpl
oremore?"I
wasn'
texpecti
[Link]'
t
peopl
efearhi
tti
ngonmar r
iedpeoplenow?"Let
's
saywhatift
helineswasalr
eadycrossed"he
cont
inued
"Ther
eisnot hingtoexpl
[Link]
kedtoyou
becauseIwasdr unkandtryingtoactal
lcoolwi
th
myf r
iends"clearl
yhewasn' ttaki
ngahint.
"
Well
Ili
kedt
[Link]
erealf
unt
otal
k
t
o"
Idi
dn'
tevenrememberwhatwetal
kedaboutbutI
si
mplynoddedandhopedThobi
lewascomingback
[Link]
nghergossi
pwasbett
erthant
his.
"MaKhumalo"Nqubeko'
svoi
cemademej umpbi
t
becauseIwasn'
tawareofhim bei
ngsocl
ose
"ComemeetRobertandEli
se"
Ist
oodupandmadesur enott
otouchThat
oasI
walkedpasthi
m bef
oret
aki
ngNqubeko'
sextended
hand.
"
That
o"t
hat
'sal
lhesai
daswewal
kedaway.
Wewal kedinalongpassageandIcoul dseepeople
i
nof f
icest urni
ngaroundtol ookatusbecauseit
wasal [Link]
icesdidn'
tgivepeopl
emuch
pr
[Link] dn'
tevenfindtheneedtopretend
nottostareaswewal kedpasteachoff
[Link]
wef inal
lyreachedthedoubledoorshepushed
them openedr eveal
ingaverylar
geboardroom and
threepeoplewer esit
ti
ngtherewit
hbottl
edwaterin
[Link] oodupfir
staswe
approached.
"[Link]
.Wow"shewasallsmi
leyand
seemedexcitedwhichwasrat
herver
ywei
r d.
"
Hi"Iof
fer
edahandbutsheof
fer
edahug.
"Thisi sEli
se,Mar kandRober t"saidNqubeko
i
nt r
oduci ngtheot [Link] feredahand
befor ewesatdownandt henNqubekospokeabout
measi fIwasthemosti nterestingper soni nthe
wor [Link] sospokeaboutt heirlivesand
howl i
fewaswor kingout .Rober thadki [Link]
se
waspl anningtoadoptandMar kwasr aisinghis
brother '
[Link] sati
onwentonunt i
lthey
allstartedment i
oni ngdinnersandi nvitesandt hen
calledi taday.
Ismil
edli
keagoodper
sonshouldandsaid
goodbyewit
hapromi
setoseethem soonast
hey
al
lgr
abbedt
hei
rbagsandwal
kedout
.
"
WhoisMrKheswa?"IaskedasNqubekopushed
t
hedoorcl
osedaf
terhi
scoll
eaguesweregone.
"
Theheadofsecur
it
y"hel
oosenedhi
sti
eandundi
d
t
hetopbut
ton.
"Idi
dn'
tseehi
m atall"Iwenttostandneart he
windowandstar
edatt hecitywiththeoceansof ar
[Link]
swaspr obablythetal
lestbuil
dinginthe
areaandweweren'tevenont helastfl
oor.
"Hewal kedpastthef
rontdeskwhi
leyouwer
e
tal
kingt oThat
o"whenhement i
onedThat
oItur
ned
andl ookedathim.
"
ImetThat
obef
[Link]
leback"
"
Andyouf
li
rt
edwi
thhi
[Link]"
"
Youknow?
"
"[Link] opbeinguncomf ort
able"he
camet ostandbehindmeasIt ur
nedandl ooked
outsi
dethewi ndow"Idi
dn'tl
i
keitatthet i
mebutI
underst
oodandIwant edyout oberelaxedsowhat
wasal i
tt
lefli
rtwhendrunk"
"
Doesn'
titf
eell
ikebet
rayal
?"
"I
tdoesbutt [Link] he
problem wi
llstar
[Link] t
er
placeandwehavet oactbett
ersoi
t'
snol onger
al
lowed"hishandst ouchedmyshoulderandI
l
ookedathim ont heglass.
"
Itwon'
t"
"Good"hedidn'tbr
eakt [Link]
whenhi shandsleftmyshoul derandwentdownt o
restonmyhi [Link] oweredhisheadand
[Link] i
nkedandmyhandhel dhisshir
t
asIt i
l
tedmyheadf ur
[Link] nand
hishandgrippedmyhi p.
"Nqubekosomeonemightwal
kin"Imanagedt
oget
thewordoutevent
houghever
ythi
nginsi
demewas
sayi
ng" sowhat
"
"Theywon'
[Link]
hedoor"hewhisper
edbefore
turni
ngmear [Link]
slipscoveredmi
neina
hungryki
ssbef or
ehishandpulledupmydress.
Ipul
ledbackabitj
usttobreat
handbesur eIwas
doi
ngthisinabuil
dingf
ullofwor
[Link]
didn'
tgi
vememucht othinkaboutbefor
ehewas
backonmylipsagai
[Link] afel
tloseandIdi
dn'
t
evenrememberhi
mt ouchingi
t.
"Protect
ion"Isuggest
[Link]
twi
thout
protecti
onbeforebecausewedidn'
twantt
oriskme
fal
lingpregnant.
"I
'
llpullout"hewhisperedbefor
ehegr abbedachai
r
andplacedi [Link]
goingtositbutitwasf ormeashekneel edi
nfront
ofme." Legsont heglassanddon'ttakeyoureyes
offtheglass"
Idi
dastoldbefor
etookt hepanti
[Link]
wornt
hem foraconfidentboastbutnowtheywer
e
bei
ngtakenoffsl
owly.
Myhandgr abbedhi sshoulderashi stonguecame
i
nt ocont [Link] ootbangedt heglassabi tbef
oreI
bitmyl [Link] dn'[Link]
whi speri
nghi snameandmyf ootdigginghis
shoul dernotsurewhet herIwaspushi ngorpulli
ng.
Hedi dn'tstopunt ilal
lIcouldwast oletthefeel
ing
carrymeawayi ntoapl aceIcouldn'tdescri
be.
Whenhest oppedIsli
ppedfrom t
hechairand
l
andedonhi m onthefl
[Link] ohis
l
apandhel dmyhi psasIsankont ohi
mt aki
ngthe
whol
elengthmaki ngbothofustrembl
[Link]
memoryoft hevideofl
ashedonmymi ndandI
st
oppedtryingtomove.
"Iloveyou"hewhi speredbeforepull
ingmyf ace
i
nt ohisf aceandki [Link] e
clumsyatf irstbutwhenhehel dmywai stand
startedmat chingthem int
ohi sitwasbetter
.So
bet t
erIhel dhimt ightasanotherviol
entpleasure
rippedt hroughmeandkeptgoi ngunt i
lhewasdone
[Link] hl aidont hefl
oorforawhi l
etheoutside
wor ldforgot t
en.
"Il
oveyout
oo"Ispokebef
orecl
osi
ngmyeyesf
ora
bit
.
Chapt
er8

If
oundl
ovei
nyou
Andnoot
herl
ovewi
lldo
Ever
ymomentt
hatyousmi
lechasesal
loft
hepai
n
away
For
everandawhi
lei
nmyhear
tiswher
eyou'
l
l
st
ay..
..

Thesongr epeat edandt hewor dsst ayedi nmy

headbecauseIwast ir
edbutIwai t
edpat ientl
yfor
Nqubekot of [Link] f
icesexl edt omor e
kissi
ngandt ouchi [Link] dlyl
etgoofmyhand
whenwef inallygotof fthef l
oorandputt hecl ot
hes
[Link]' tusedt osuchbehavi ourandif elt
l
ikeever yoneknewbutNqubekoseemedokaybut
[Link] inall
yl ef
ttheof ficewe
drovepastar est aurantandpi ckedupdi nner .He
didn'tletmedi shuporevenwor kar oundt hehouse
touchingt hisandt hatbef orehewaspi nni ngmeon
theki t
chent abl [Link] ledisgust edbecausei t
wasourf oodt abl [Link] imewasi nthe
couchandt het hir dti
mewasi nbedandIwast i
red.
Ievenst artedt hi nkingaboutt hosewhowor kinthe
porni ndust r
[Link] woor gasmsseemedokaybut
thethirdwasexhaust i
ngandIcoul dn'timagi ne
cont
inui
ng.
"Wow"hemur mur
edagainstmyearbeforeroll
ing
over
.Wewer ebot
hcoveredinsweatbutIdidn'tsee
myselfgett
inguptobat
[Link] egsdidn'twant
tomovef oramoment.
"Thatwasexhaust
ing"Ispokewhi
lemyhands
cuppedmyownbr easts.
"I
'm sorr
[Link]'thavedoneitl
ikethi
s"I
real
izedmymi [Link]'tsupposedtomakeit
[Link] ustti
redbecausei
t
wast oomuchsexf [Link]'veneverdoneit
l
ikethisbefor
e.
"[Link]
[Link] deaitwast hi
stir
ing"It
ri
edto
savethesi
tuat
ion.
"
Soyouli
kesexbutnottoomuch?
"Hi
stonemade
met
hinkhewasn'
toffended.
"Theoff
[Link]
[Link]
kit
chensexweirdandalit
tl
[Link]
havetoeatther
[Link]"Il ooked
awaywhenhel ookedatme.
"MaKhumal oyouneedt ogetusedt ot hi
sbecause
i
t'snotthepl acet hatmat [Link] ddoi tonthe
roofandi tsstil
lperfectlyfine"hishandr emovedmy
handont hebr eastandt hemomentt heygotthe
coolairtheni ppletightened" [Link] oseethis
aswel l
"het ookt heni ppleintohisfingersand
strokeditgent l
e.
"[Link] hecondoms?AtthisrateI
thinkIneedtogetbir
thcont r
ol"Iwasbr
ingi
ngup
thebabyt opi
canditfeltr
[Link]
kingaf
ter
all
.
"Wewi l
lgetthepil
latsunr
[Link]
easer
emi
ndme"he
didn'
tstopteasi
ngmyni pple
"Whydon'tyouwantkids?
"Idecidedtoaskstr
aight
outbecausehewasn'tbei
ngvoluntar
ywiththe
expl
anati
on.
"
Whatmakesyout
hinkIdon'
t?
"
"Becauseyout ol
dmeyoudidn'
twantustohave
kids"Ist
il
lrememberhi
m sayi
ngsojustwasaft
er
wegotmar ried.
"
Becauseyouwer
eyoungandst
il
lneededt
ost
udy.
Normall
ywhenpeoplegetmarr
iedki
dsf
oll
owbutI
di
dn'twantt
odothattoyou"
"
Sonowwecanhavekids?
"Iheldmystomach
wonder
inghowi
twi
llf
eell
iket
obepregnant
.
"
Whenyouar
eready"
"Iam r
eadynow"Iwashomeaf t
eral
lsowhynot
havekidsandgeti
toverwi
th.
Henoddedbef
oreki
ssi
ngmyl
ips.
"Iguessthepil
lisnotneeded"headdedaf
tera
moment .Inoddedtoobeforetur
ningar
oundsoI
couldfi
nall
ygetsomesl eep.
Hepull
edmeclosert
ohi
m andpl
acedhi
slegover
minebefor
eki
ssi
ngthet
opofmyhead.
"
Goodni
ght
"Iaddedbef
orecl
osi
ngmyeyes.

*
***
***
Idon'
tknowwhatwokemeupbutIwassur
pri
sed
tofi
ndmysel
fsl
eepi
ngalone.
"
Nqubeko"Ical
ledoutbef
oret
urni
ngt
hel
ight
son.
Ther
ewasnor epl
ysoIwentt
ocheckhisstudy.
Theli
ght
swereonbutNqubekowasn'
tther
e.I
movedtothespar
ebedr
oom andi
twasempt y.
"Whereareyou? "Icalledoutagai
nbef oremovi
ngto
thekit
[Link] soempt yandthedoorlocked
outsi
[Link]
yhewasgonesoIswi tchedthe
l
ightsoffandsatont hecouchwaiti
ngf orhi
m.
Iwasfal
li
ngasl
eepwhenIheardacardri
veinand
thent
hekeyatt
hedoorfol
lowedshor
tl
yafter
.
Hewal kedinandt urnedt helockwi t
houtswi tching
[Link] dhearhi m putt
ingsomet hingon
thetabl ealongwitht hekeysbef or
ehewal kedt o
thekitchenandswi tchedt heli
[Link]
andwentt ot heki
tchent [Link] ustst
andi ng
thereleaningagainstt hecupboar dclearl
yf araway
i
nt hought s.
"
Wher
ewer
eyou?
"Isspoke,
maki
nghi
mjumpabi
t.
"Whatareyoudoi
ngup?
"Heaskedaf
terr
ecover
ing
qui
ckly
"Ihadabaddr
eam andwokeupal
[Link]
ewer
e
you?"
"
Ineededt
ogosomewher
[Link]
'sgobackt
obed"
"Somewherewhere?It
st hemiddl
eoftheni ght
[Link]? "Hedi
dn'tlooklike
someonewhogotdr [Link] ookedl
ike
someonewhohast imetogetup,getdr essedand
l
eavethehouse.
"[Link]'
sallyouneedtoknow"
hewal kedar
oundmewashedhi shandsont hesink.
Themomenthewal kedpastIcoul dsmell
a
perfumethatdi
dn'
tbel [Link]
sweetandclear
lybelongedt oawoman.
"
Soshedoesexi
st"
Hepausedwashi
nghi
shandsandt
urnedt
oface
me."
What?"
"
Shecal
lsi
nthemi
ddl
eoft
heni
ghtandyougo
r
unni
ng"
"Don'tdot
[Link]
eastnotnow"i
tmademeangry
thathewassoundingsocoolaft
erdoi
ngthi
stome.
Thesamemant hatassur
edmehewasn'tcheat
ing.
"
When?
"
Hedi dn'
treplyinst
eadher eachedforthepaper
towelandwi [Link] twascl eart
hatI
wasn'tgetti
ngar eplyIturnedandwal kedaway.I n
theloungeIturnedthel i
ghtonandhi sgunwason
[Link] edtoask
mor equesti
onsbutget t
ingnor epl
ywasgoi ngto
makememor eangrysoIwentt ot
hebedr oom and
grabbedmyphonepi l
lowbef oregoingtotheother
bedroom andl ocki
ngt hedoorbehi ndme.

*
***
**
Idon'tknowwhenIf i
nall
yfellasleepbutwhenI
wokeupi twaswaypastmor [Link]
remember edwhatNqubekodi dtheni ghtbefore.
Afterheconvincedmethathewasn' tcheat
ingon
[Link] el
tli
keabiggestf
ooleverbutIst il
lunlocked
thedoorandwentt othekit
[Link]
maki ngcoff
eewhenIwal kedin.
"Morni
ng"Igr
eet
edbef
orewashi
ngmyhandsi
nthe
sink
"
Mor
[Link]
eptwel
l"hepl
acedt
he
cof
feenextt
omebef
oresi
ppi
nghi
sown.
"
Notreall
ybutI
'm sur
eyoudi
daft
eryouwentGod
Knowswhereinthemiddl
eoft
henight
"Ipi
ckedup
t
hecoffee
"Don'
tdot
[Link]
.Hecal
ledand
neededmyhelpwithsomethi
[Link]
dn'
twantt
o
wakeyou"
"Ohpleasewebothknowyouar
elyi
[Link]
outtherefucki
ngsomewhor
ewhil
eyouleftmei
n
bed"Iyell
edandIcoul
dseehewassurpr
ised
"
Youdon'
ttal
ktomel
iket
hat
"
"
Orwhat
?"
"I
'
m sorr
yforl
eavi
[Link]
dhavet
old
[Link]
hisgo?
"
"Youthi
nki'
m stupid?MaybeIam becauseIt r
usted
[Link] nt heeyeandsaidyouar enot
cheati
ngbutyoucomebacksmel l
ingli
keroses.I
mightactli
keanobedi entwifeNqubekobutdon't
assumeIcan'[Link]
comebacksmel lingl
ikear ealmanand...
..
."Idi
dn't
gettofini
shbefor
ethemugi nmyhandl andedon
thefl
oorspill
ingt
hecoffeeal
lovermyslipper
[Link]
paininmycheekf ol
lowedaft
eraminuteandt hen
anotherpaincomefrom myheadafterbumpingit
onthef ri
dge.
"
Youwantt
orepeatyourwor
ds?
"
Iwasinshockt
or epl
yandthenaf
terami
nut
ethe
tear
sstar
tedst
reamingdownmyface.
"Howdar eyout hreatenmewi thanothermanaf t
er
you'veactedl i
keasi nglewomanbehi ndmyback
[Link] mpyclothes,danceinclubs,
drinkalcoholandt hencomet omyhouseact ingli
ke
someoneel [Link] eyou? "HeyelledandIdidn'
t
[Link] ooangryt osayanythingsoinsteadI
l
ett hetearstocont i
nuef al
li
ng.
"Youareallowedtoyel
lbutneverevert
hreat
enme
[Link]"hewal ked
awayafterthat.
Icr
iedforawhilebefor
ewipi
ngthetear
sandthen
cl
eanedupt hecoff
eeonthefl
[Link]
Iwentt
ot [Link]
ng
t
hebeddi
ng.
"Iwantadivor
ce"Iannouncedbeforegoingt
othe
closetandpul
[Link]'
tsur
e
wher eIwasgoingbutIwasgoing.
Chapt
er9

"
Divor
ce?
"heaskedaf
teramoment
.
Idi
dn'tr
epl
[Link]
dmeokaysoIcont
inuedt
o
pack.
"I
'
m sorr
yforhi
tt
[Link]
dn'
thavedonet
hat
"
headdedaft
[Link]
il
ldi
dn'
trepl
y.
"[Link].I'
m sorr
[Link]
hing"he
demandedaf t
erIdi
dn'
trepl
y.
"
Iwantoutoft
hemarri
[Link]
"Ir
epeat
edt
he
wor
dsslowlyt
hist
ime.
"
SoImakeonemistakeandyouwantout?Justli
ke
t
hat
?"Hi
stonesoundedli
kehemightst
artcryi
ng.
"Amist
akei
sthr
owingawayareci
pe, Sweepi
ngmy
ear
ri
ngonthefl
oor
,leavi
ngt
hetoi
[Link]
hit
ti
ngmei [Link]'
tconfusethi
ngs"I
yel
ledfeel
ingl
ikeIwasgoingtoburstint
otears
again.
"[Link]'
thavedonethat.I
'
m
[Link]
vemeachancet ofi
xthi
s"he
beggedandIj umpedupwhenhemovedt owards
me." I
'l
lneverdoitagai
[Link]
ease"
"That'
showi tst
[Link] [Link] omorr
ow.
I'
m sorrybutIcan'twaitforyout ogetworse"Iwent
togetmyt oil
etr
iesinthebat hroom andfound
Nqubekobusyt ryi
ngt otaket heclot
hesoutofthe
suit
case.
"Please.I
'l
ltellyoueveryt
[Link]
easedon'
tleave.
Notl i
kethis"hestoppedandIt ookthecl
othesfrom
hishandandshovedt hem backtot
hesuit
case
beforezippingit.
"
I'
m nol
ongeri
nter
est
ed"
"
Wher ear
eyougoingtogo?I
t'
sstil
lnotsaf
eout
t
here"heaskedandIst
oppedforasecondbef
ore
l
ookingathi
m.
"
I'
m goi
[Link]
eyoubought
mef
rom"
Hedidn'
trepl
yaftert
hat
.Ipi
ckedupeveryt
hingand
tookt
hem tothecarbef
orel
eavi
nghisri
ngont he
bedsi
de.
Hedi dn'
tsayanyt
hingasIopenedthefri
dgeand
tooksomewat erandafrui
[Link]
ve
aheadofmesoIneededt oeatsomethi
ngbefor
e
stoppingsomewhereforameal .

*
***
**
Idrovef oroveranhourbef orest oppi
ngont heside
oftheroadt ocr y.I
twaspai nmi xedwi thheartbr
eak.
Thedisappoi ntmentbecausewewer edoi ngsowell
j
ustbef orewewentt [Link] ealthat
thi
ngscoul dgof r
om goodt owor sejustl i
kethat
.
Whent het earsstoppedcomi ngIwi pedmyeyes
andcont inuedt odri
[Link] ngbackt onothi
ng
Iknewbutst i
llIhadnoot herplaceanyway.I
couldn'
tgot omyf ri
endsandr isktheirli
[Link]
peoplewant edt okil
lmef orNqubekot henIwas
fi
ner i
skingmynogoodf amilynotmyf riendsand
t
hei
rfami
li
es.
ImadeittoUlundiPl
azaaft
ermiddayandwentt
o
buyfewthingsatShopr
it
ebefor
edr i
vingt
o
Thwasane.
Imadei thomej ustaftertwoint heeveni
ngandi
couldseepeopl elookingatmycarasIdr oveinthe
l
itt
lepat hthatledtomyhome.I twasgoingt obe
l
esst han30mi nutesbef orepeoplecameovert o
seewhoi [Link] eawasal i
tt
lebehi
ndbutt hey
hadel ectri
cit
[Link] ull
ywat erwasgoingto
fol
lowbecauseonl yfewpeopl ehadjojotanks.
"WeKhumalo"ihear
dmyauntyel
lasiopenedt
he
doorandgotreadytogetout
.
Ihadt wouncl esandbot hofthem wer emarri
ed.
Judgingbyt heirhousesicouldt el
ltheyweresti
ll
l
ivingtherejustseparetl
[Link] andmot her
'shouse
wasst il
lther
ebutidi dn'
tneedt ogoi nsi
detosee
thatitwasunkept .Therewasabr okenwindowand
thecurtainwasdi rt
yinside.
"[Link]
'
sacar"ayounggir
lappear
edbehi
ndt
he
housebef
oremoresmall
erpeopl
eappear
ed.
"
Hel
lo"Igotoutandl
ookedatt
hedi
rt
yli
tt
lef
aces.
"
Ithoughtwewoul dneverseeyouagain"sai
dAunt
Nomhleappear i
ngatt [Link]
derbut
f
ullofl
if
[Link]'tneedtoopent hei
rpotstoseet
hat
t
heywer en'
tstarvi
ng.
"HiauntNomhle"Ismiledatherbef
oretaki
ngthe
plast
[Link]
edattheki
dsto
stopstar
ingandtakethem insi
de.
Twogirlshesit
atedbefor
etheybothranof
ftothe
opposit
edirecti
onanddisappearedi
nsi
detheother
[Link]
ytheyweren'
tgett
ingal
ong,t
he
parent
snott hekids.
"Comeinsi
[Link]' twant
thel
ocalnewspaperstostartr
eport
ing"sherushed
meinsi
det hehousebefor
eclosingt
hedoorbehi nd
us.
"
Localnewspaper
s?"
"Youraunt
.Mzwakhemar ri
edthel
ocaljour
nali
st"
sheroll
edhereyesandIlaughedabitbef
oresi
tti
ng
[Link]
theywereclear
lynewbecausesherushedtocover
t
hem wi
thashawlbef
oreherki
dssatdown.
"
Iseeyouguysaredoi
ngsowel
l
"Il
ookedar
ound.I
t
l
ookednot
hingl
ikeIl
efti
t.
WhenIleftwedidn'thavealar
geTV,l
etalonea
coff
eetableort
hest [Link]
ningroom was
complet
ewi t
hlargevases,gl
assTVstand,t
il
ed
fl
oorandgoldandwhi tecei
li
ng.
"Youthoughtwewillst
arveorsomething?"She
clappedherhandsbeforeshel
[Link] oudand
unnecessaryl
aughbutIknewi twasfortheother
l
ady.
"
Notreal
[Link]
ank.I
'
m gl
ad
t
hough"
Shel ookedatmef oramomentbef oreshest
oodup
andl eftt
[Link] hi
schancet ocheckmy
[Link] terywasget t
inglowandIhadf our
mi ssedcall
sfrom Nqubekoandt hreemessages.
Twof r
om Nombusoandanot herfr
om anumberI
didn'[Link] heunknownnumberf i
rst
andi twasfrom Nqubeko'ssisterNomasont o
askingmet ocal lherassoonasIgott hemessage.
Idi
dn'tneedt oconsul
tasangomat oknowshe
wantedtot al
ktomeonbehal fofherbr
othersoI
di
dn'[Link]
dn'tr
eadNqubeko'smessagesas
wel
[Link]
eadIcal l
edNombusoback.
"Gi
rl
.Wher
ear
eyou?
"Sheaskedt
hemomentshe
answer
ed.
"
[Link]
orf
ewdays"
"
Haveyouseent
hepaper
s?"
"[Link]?"Ist
oodupandwalkedoutf
orsome
pri
vacyj
ustincaseshewasl
isteni
ngi
ntheki
tchen.
"
[Link]
eguy.
Wemethim.
..
..
."Ist
oppedherbefor
eshestar
ted
r
emi
ndingmethehistor
y.
"
IrememberThat
[Link]
m?"
"[Link]
twasa
hij
acki
ng.I
t'
sfrontpagenews"
"I
tsabadworl
dgir
[Link]"Idi
dn'
tget
whysheneededt
ot el
lmeaboutit
.Thatowasn'
tthe
onlyguywemetandtalkedt
o.
"
Hei
sinacr
it
icalcondi
ti
onaccor
dingt
othe
paper
s"shepausedbefor
esheconti
nued"Wait
.So
youknowthatheworksforMbonambiLogi
sti
cs?"
"
[Link]
m yest
erday"
"
Wasn'
titawkwar
d?"
"Notreal
[Link]
ayi
ngt
hat
[Link] inewhenwetal
ked"Ili
ed.
"That'
[Link]
he
shootingthat
'sj
ustcr
uel
.Hopeful
lyhewil
lpul
l
[Link]?"
"Notsur
eyetbutI'
l
[Link]
yis
dyinggi
rl
.I'
l
lcal
lyouwhenI '
vechargedt
hephone"I
wantedtoendtheconversat
ionnow.
"Okay"shehungupandIwentbacki
nsi
debef
ore
searchi
ngformycharger
.
"
Doyoudr
inkt
ea?
"AskedAuntNomhl
eappear
ing
wit
hat
ray
"
Yespl
ease"
Wedr [Link]
suretosendanotherpl
asti
ctot
heotherhouse
becauseIdidn'
twanttheki
dstosaytheysawthe
goodiesbutt
heynevergott
[Link]'
tpar
tof
thei
rdrama.

*
***
**

Iwasgr at
efulthatshedi dn'
taskwhyIwasback.
Insteadshet oldmewher etoputmyt hingsbefore
shegavemebl anket sandsaidIcanf ixmyown
bathingwat [Link] oresitt
ingonthe
bedt hatdidn'
tf eelfamil
iarandther oom wasnice
butr at
herempt [Link] ewasj ustabedandal arge
mi r
rorinthecor [Link] houghandI
couldn'twaittogetsomesl eep.
"Thembeka"shout
eduncleJacobbef or
eheeven
walkedintothedi
[Link]
pretendi
ngtobesl
eepingbutitwasridi
culous
becauseitwasnoteven6o'cl
ockyet.
"Yes"Ir
epl
iedbefor
egoingtothedi
ningr
[Link]
h
uncleswer
esitt
ingonthecouchandtheybot
h
l
ookedatmewhenIwal kedi
n.
"Wowyou' vegr [Link]'thaverecognizedyou
i
fIbumpedt oyoudownt hest r
eet"saidJacob
beforehehadacoughi ngfitwhichalloweduncle
Jonathantot [Link] en'tt
winsjust
unfort
unatelytobebor nduringthet i
mewhen
Bibl
icalnameswer einstyl
e.
"Ever
ythi
nggoi
ngwell
?You'
venevervi
sit
edbef
ore"
hegavemeaaccusingeye.
"Idi
dn'tknowitswrongtovisi
tthi
shome"Ireplied
beforesomeonepushedt [Link]
uncleJona'swifewalkedinwi
that r
[Link]
wasyoungert hanNomhl eandmorebeautif
ul.
"Imadeyousomefoodbefor
eshestar
tfeedi
ngyou
rubbi
sh"shesmi
ledandIcoul
dseebothmenl ook
ateachother
.
"Howdar eyoucometomyhouse?"yel
ledNomhle
soundingli
keshewasbreaki
ngt
heplatesi
nthe
kit
chen.
"I
gnoreher.I
'm Chari
[Link]
eitgetscol
d"
shesmiledandwal kedoutbeforeNomhlecould
fi
nishwhatevershewasdoi nginherki
tchen.
"
Theydon'
tgetal
[Link]'
vet
ri
ed"sai
dJacob
l
oweri
nghi
svoice.
Il
ookedatthepl
ateandi
twasdumpl
ingsandbeef
.
Thesmellmademymouthwater
.
"Youarenoteat
ingthi
[Link]
e"yel
ledNomhlebef
ore
sheslammedhertrayonthetabl
e"I'
l
lthr
owthi
s
outsi
de"
"
Pleasedon'
t"Igr
abbedt
het
ray"
I'
lleatbot
h"
"
Don'
tbesi
ll
[Link]
spr
obabl
ytast
eli
ker
ubbi
sh"
"
Idon'
tmi
nd"Ihel
dthet
rayr
ealt
ight
.
"[Link]
ikeaki
dal
lthet
ime?
"Yel
led
Jacob
Iwasaboutt
orepl
ywhenmyphoner
ang.
"I
'
lleatbot
hf [Link]
eal
lydon'
tmi
[Link]
easel
etgo"i
beggedwhiletryi
ngtoseewhowascal
li
ng.
"Answerthatphone"shel
etgoofthet
rayandI
[Link]
d
seeeveryonewaiti
ngformetoanswer.
"
Hel
lo"
"Pleasedon'
thangup.I
'
m att
hegat
[Link]
alk.
Please"hebegged
"
Okay"iendedt
hecal
l.
"
IassumeMbanambiout
side"sai
dUncl
eJona
l
ooki
ngatme.
"
Yes.I
'
lleatwhenigetback"
Theyallwat
chedmewal koutandclosi
ngthedoor
behi
[Link] r
eadydarkbutIcoul
dseethe
carwaiti
ngf
urtherdownt [Link]
l
eavetheyardhef l
ickedthet
orchandwalkedover
tomeetmehalfway.
"I
'
m sorry.I'
m sosor
ry"hespokefirstbef
orehe
wrappedhi sarmsar
oundme." I
'l
lnevertoitagai
n.
[Link]"he
soundedl i
kehewasgoingtostartsobbing.
"Thentel
lmet
het
rut
h"Idemandedbef
orepul
li
ng
offhi
m.
"
Let
'sgosi
tint
hecar
"
Idi
dn'
trepl
ybutIfol
lowedhimtot
hecarandgoti
n
whenheopenedthedoorforme.
"Thesmellcamefrom That
o'ssi
ster
.Wehadtocal
l
herandtakehertothehospi
tal
"hestar
tedt
ospeak
andIwaitedforhi
mt oconti
nue.
"That
[Link] l
lli
vebutit
'[Link]
wecalledhi
ssistershedidn'
thavetransportsoI
[Link] '
showI
endedupsmel l
ingherperfume.I
twasn' tbecause
ofthecheat
ing"
"
YoushotThat
oandt
hensai
ditwasahi
jacki
ng?
"
Icoul
dseet
heshocki
nhi
sface.
"Ithoughtyoudidn'
tshootpeopl
eNqubeko.I
thoughtyourgunwasf orprot
ecti
onnotshoot
ing
yourcolleaguesandthencoveri
ngitup"
"I
twasn'
tli
[Link]
sabot
[Link] eakedal
most
ever
ythi
[Link]
lthi
st i
mewe' vetr
[Link]
dn'
t
wanttokil
lhi
[Link]
'shi
m"
"
Andyoucoul
dn'
ttel
lmeal
lthat
?"
"Ishoul
dn'[Link] ongandI'
m
beggingforyourforgi
[Link]'twantt
oli
ve
[Link]
easeMbul
azi
.For
giveme"i
pretendednott
oseewhenhewipedthet
earsonhi
s
eyes.
"
Ipr
omisetonevereverrai
[Link]
mat
terhowangryiam i'
l
lneverhur
tyoul
iket
hat
"
"Onceapersonst
arthi
tti
ngyouthendon'
tstop.I
'
m
notthatper
[Link]
efusetobeyour
punchingbag"
"Andyouwon'tbe.I
[Link]
[Link]
lnevereverdoitagai
n"
"
Whendi
dyouarri
ve?"Idi
dn'tl
ookathi
m ashe
t
ri
edt
odiscr
eet
lywipethetear
sonhisface.
"
Ijustgother
[Link]
dn'
twantt
owai
tti
llt
omor
row"
"I
'
m [Link]
edon'tgetal
[Link]
bothdishedupf ormeandIpr omisedtoeatboth
[Link] esodr amati
cit
salmostfunnyto
watch"Ilaughedabi tandhelaughedtoo
"IboughtsomesandwicheswhenIleftDurban"he
reachedoveri
nthebackseatandpull
edupapl ast
ic
[Link]
ctomeandil ooked
i
nsi
de.
"
Thanks"
Webothat
ethesandwi
[Link]
ankthejui
cewhil
e
heat
ethechi
psandwefini
shedoffwit
hchocol
ate.
"Onemorechancetodothisr
ight
.Please
[Link]
'sst
artagai
nandthisti
meIpr
omi
se
todoi
tright
"
Chapt
er10

"
Thembeka"
Nqubekowhi speredinmyearandIopenedmyeyes
tohisfaceandmybodyachi ngf r
om being
uncomf ort
[Link]'tunder
standwhyI
wasf eel
inglikethatuntilIreali
zedwewer e
sleepi
ngi nthecar .
"
Mor
ning"hesmi
ledandki
ssedmyf
orehead.
"
Mor
ning"Ir
ubbedmyeyesbeforet
ryi
ngtost
retch
myl
egsandarms"Whydidyouletmefal
lasl
eep?"
"
Idi
dn'
twantt
ogoandyouwer
esocomf
ort
abl
e"he
rol
leddownt hewindowandIopenedthedoor.I
t
wasst i
llear
lyandthemorni
ngairwascol
d"You
can'tgoyet"hestoppedmewhenItri
edtogetout.
"Whynot?
"Ist
il
lneededanot
herhouri
nbedbef
ore
get
ti
ngreadyt
ostartaday.
"Youaregoingt
oknock?[Link]
'sgohome
andsleepforabi
t"hesuggest
ed.
"Whydi
dn'
tyoudri
veusandwakemeupwhenwe
gott
her
e?"Icl
osedthedoorandhest
art
edt
hecar
.
"Iwasn'
tsurei
fyouwil
lwel
comethatsuggesti
on"
hesmi l
edforabi
tbef
orehi
sfacewentallser
ious.
"
Soyoudr
ivewi
thabl
anketi
nthecar
?"
"Notr
[Link] hought
wewer estil
ltal
[Link]
dn'twanttotellhi
m you
[Link] ghthaveinvitedmei [Link]
tert
he
twomeal sIdidn'
twanttomaket heladies
uncomfor t
able"
Ij
oki
ngl
yhithi
sshoul
[Link]
yand
asdr
amati
castheyweretheyst
il
lkeptmyhome
st
andi
ng.
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
dn'
tresi
st"webot
hlaughed.

Thedri
vedidn'
ttakeusl
ongbecausewasn'
tfar
.
Whenwear ri
veditwasst
il
lqui
etandwewent
st
rai
ghttoourroom.
"Someonehear
dus"sai
dNqubekol
ocki
ngt
hedoor
behi
ndus.
Ther oom smel
ledl
ikef
loorpol
ishandbl
[Link]
beddingwasclearl
ywashedandt her
epl
aced
recentl
y.
Nqubekoopenedt hewardr
obeandpul l
edouta
blankett
hr [Link] f
beforecrawl i
ngintobedfull
[Link] oi
nedme
soonaf t
erandwebot [Link]'
ttakeme
l
ongt ofallintodreamlandonlytowakeupwhenI
heardNqubekomove.
"
It
'saf
ter10am"hesmi
ledandki
ssedmycheek.
Itwassowar
m undert
hebl
anketbutIneededt
o
wakeupandgohome.
"
WhatdoIdonow?DoIsneakoutorgot
othe
ki
tchen?"Iwasn'
[Link]
dlycame
homeandIwasn' tsureaboutfaci
nghi
sfamil
yaft
er
wakingupat10.
"
Youarenotagi
rl
fr
[Link]
everyou
l
ike"
"
YeahbutIlef
tmytoi
let
ri
[Link]'
tgo
wit
houtwashi
ngup"
"[Link] er"he
l
efttheroom andImadet [Link] clearl
y
showedt hatsomeoneusedi tf
rom t
imetoti
me.
WhenIcheckedt hewar drobesomeoft hedressesI
l
eftbehi
ndwer est
il
[Link]
edt he
fabr
icsoftenermeaningt heywerewashedjustfew
daysago.
Nqubekocamebackwi
thhotwat
erandawi
degr
in
onhisface.
"[Link] orthefullhouse.
TurnsoutthereisumembesoinUncl eJosi ah'
s
homeandwehavet [Link] he
kit
chenplott
ingsomethi
[Link] ncluded"he
mixedthewat eri
nthewashingbasin.
"Us?"Iwassur pri
[Link] eint hisfami lywer e
[Link] oof ussyorwei [Link]
weren'tcloseenoughf ort hem t odot [Link] lt
hree
brotherswer emar ri
edandt henNomasont oandher
cousinSbahl ehadki [Link] ealfullhouse
whent heyal lgottogetherwhi chwasn' tmuch
becauset heydi dn'
tli
vet hatkindofl [Link]
hardlytal
kedt ooraboutt [Link] dn'tevenvi si
t
them [Link] dn'tthinkt heywer eclose
witheachot her .
"[Link]"hepi
ckedupabucketandwentt oget
somecol dwat
[Link]
tedmybat hbeforehe
ret
urnedandwasal mostfi
nishedbeforehegot
back.

*
***
**
"Wil
lyoustoppulli
ngitdown?
"SaidNqubekoasI
tr
iedtotugtheskir
tIwaswearing.I
twastheonl
y
outf
itt
hatstil
lfi
tandIworeNqubeko'st
-shi
rt
.
"MaybeIshoul
dgohomeandchangequi cklyand
comebacktogreet
"Isuggest
[Link]
ookedridi
culous
andi
tmadef
eelwei
rdaboutmysel
f.
"[Link] akeyouhomet ochange
andthenwef ol
lowotherst oJosi
ah's"het
ookmy
[Link]
cklygrabbedmyphoneandwewentt o
[Link]
se.
Fivewomeni nonekitchen.
"Knockknock"saidNqubekobef
orehest
oodasi
de
andall
owedmei n.
"[Link]"excl
aimedMaMi
yawhowast
he
oldestwi
fe.
"
Hi"Igr
eet
ed
"Yearsl
aterandyouar est
il
lacti
ngl
ikeabl
ushing
bri
[Link] t"sai
dMaSbiyawhowasclearl
y
pregnantandlookedreal
lygood.
"[Link]
ngyourT-
shi
rt
?Surel
y
youcanaf f
ordsomeclot
hes"sai
dNomasont
o
befor
etheyalll
aughed.
"Watchit
"repl
iedNqubekotaki
ngNomasont o'
skid
fr
om [Link]
nybabyletoutagiggleandwe
allwat
chedhim st
areatherwithsuchloveinhi
s
eyes.
"
Youneedtostar
tmaki
ngbabi
[Link]
sanat
ural
"
t
easedSbahl
e.
"Let
'sgooutsi
demyAngel "sai
dNqubekocl
ear
ly
i
gnor i
[Link]
ngaboutt
hebabi
es
remindedmet hatIneverboughtt
hemorni
ngafter
pil
l.
"
Youlookl
ikeyoujustsawaghost
"sai
d
Nomasont
opokingmyshoulder
.
"[Link]'tbringmybagsover .Theyar eat
home"t heyal llookedatmeandIadded" Former
[Link] ustbr oughtmeovert hismor ning"
i
tsoundedwei rdjustsayi ngi tbutt heyallseemed
tojustnodbef oretheyst artedtelli
ngmeaboutt he
ceremonyandwhyweal lneededt ogo.I twasa
l
itt
lepet t
ybutIunder stoodwhyt heywer el i
kethat.
Thest orywast hatthel adiesatuncl eJosi ah'
s
homewer eint ofami l
ycompet it
[Link] eand
Nomasont osai dthelastt i
met heywentt hel adi
es
theretreatedthem l i
keshi tbecauset heywer e
mar r
[Link] en'ttheyhadt heirbaby
daddy'sthereandtheyshowedof ftot hem because
SbahleandNomasont ower esi
ngl emot hers.
Accordingtothem itwasanol dfami lydramaabout
whowasmor esuccessfulandNqubekoandhi s
brot
herswel osersandt hei
rwivesdi dn'teven
att
endt hesefamil
ygat heri
ngs.
"
Sowearegoi
ngtheretodowhat
?"Iaskedaf
ter
t
heywer
edonespeaking
"
Toshowof [Link]
hem wewonthiscompeti
ti
on
wit
houtevencompet
ing"sai
dMaMiyanotsounding
l
ikeagrownupshereall
ywas.
"[Link] chi
ngoutfi
[Link]
[Link]
weaveont hatheadbefor
et hescarf
.Theyneedsto
seei tappeari
[Link]
representi
ngthisfamil
yladies"sai
dMaSbiya.
"Yesladi
[Link]
eadyrunningabitl
ate"sai
d
Sbahlebefor
eshestoppedtal
kingbecauseour
fatheri
n-l
awwaswalkingin.
"
Bant
abam"hegr
eet
ed
Someoner
epl
iedwi
th"
Yebo"t
her
estofuswent
qui
et.
"
It
'snicetoseeyoual lher
[Link]
sei
sgoodfor
t
hef amil
y"hepausedf oramomentbef
orehe
[Link]
eleasedthebreat
hIwashol
ding.
"That
'
samessagef
rom [Link]
saski
ngwhen
arewegoi
ngt
ogetther
e"sai
dSont
ogett
ingup.
"
Shei
sal
readyt
her
e?"Iasked.
"[Link]
tearly"sai
dSbahl
[Link]
[Link]
ogogetNqubekosohe
couldtakemehome.

*
***
***

Wedi dn'thavethemat chi

ngatt
ir
ebutItri
edwit
h
theli
ttl
eIhad.I ntheendwedi dlookli
keacouple
thatmadeanef [Link]
vetoJosi
ah'swasdusty
andIwasaf rai
dt hatwewi l
lbedir
tybytheti
mewe
getthere.
"Youarequi
et"sai
dNqubekobefor
ewavi
ngat
somepeoplewhower esit
ti
ngundert
het
ree
enjoyi
ngatr
aditi
onalbeer
.
"
Idi
dn'
ttaket
hepi
ll
"
Heseemedconfusedf
oramomentbef
orehe
r
eal
izedwhatiwastal
kingabout
.
"
Doest
hatmeanyouar
enotdi
vor
cingme?
"
"
Unl
essyou.
..
..
."
"
Imadeapr [Link]
llnevereverdo
t
hatagai
n"herepli
edqui
ckly.
"
That'
swhyI'
m gi
vingyouanot
[Link]'
t
makemeregr
etthi
s"
"Youwon't
.Iswearyouwon't
"heactual
lyst
opped
thecarandki
ssedmeuntilsomeonewasyelli
ngat
himtokeepmoving.
It
urnedandnoti
cedthatwewerefol
lowedbyfi
ve
ot
[Link]
adi
esweren'
tjoki
ngaboutmaki
ng
anentr
ance.
"Yeahonecan'tchoosefamil
y"hemur mur edbef
ore
start
ingthecar
.Ilaughedandlookedatthepeople
i
nt [Link] ealll
ooki
ngatus
probablythi
nki
ng"Mbonambif amilyi
sfullof
weirdos"
Theceremonywasunder
waywhenwearri
[Link]
manwenttoothermenwhil
eweladi
eswenttothe
ki
tchen.
"Ist
il
lneedt
ofi
ndmymot herin-l
aw"Iwhisper
edto
Sbahlewhooff
eredtohelpmel [Link]
t
theother
sandstar
tedthetaskthathadpeople
l
ookingatusasifwewerepar toftheci
rcus.
"Thembeka"someonecal l
edoutandIturnedt
oa
groupofpeopleIdi
dn'tevenrecogni
zebutsti
ll
wavedbackandsmi ledwhent heygr
eetedme.
"
Youdon'
tremembert
hem much?
"AskedSbahl
e.
"[Link] t
erschool
"Ispottedmy
[Link] wavedandthenrol
ledt hei
r
eyesateachot her
.Ihurr
iedof
fquickl
ybef orethey
foughtandembar r
assedme.
"MaKhumalo"cal
ledoutmymot
heri
n-l
awina
groupofol
derwomenunderanumbrel
la.
"NowI'm of
f"sai
dSbahlebeforeshehurri
edoff
befor
[Link]
ledand
watchedhergobeforewalki
ngovert osi
tonthe
grassmatnexttomymot herin-l
aw.
Igr eetedt hem andsmi l
edatt he"whenar ewe
seei ngt hel i
ttl
ef eet"questionsbutneveranswer ed
[Link] oblem wast hatmostoft hesewomenI
grewupr egar dingt hem asmygr andmot hersbut
whenIgotmar riedmostoft hem movedt o
grandmot heringt obeinglikemymot [Link]
Thembekal eftwi t
hnoonebutheruncl esandt hey
allplayedapar ti nmyweddi [Link] om thet al
ksof
attendi ngt hehusbandneedst or espectingmyi n-
l
[Link] ntent i
onallytheygavemeawr ongideaof
howmar r
iageshoul dwor kandf oryearsIdi ditthei
r
waywhi lelockingoutt heper sonIwasact uall
y
mar ri
edt o.
Istayedf
orfewminut
eswi
tht
hem bef
oresayi
ngI
neededtogohel
p.

*
***
***
*

Thekitchenwaslargeandf
ullofMbonambiladi
es.
Somebusywi ththepotswhi
leother
swerebusy
tal
kingmakingnastycommentsabouteachother
whi
leact
ingl
ikei
twasnobi
gdeal
.
"
Anythi
ngel
seneededt
obedone?
"Iaskednotsur
e
whatel
sewast
here.
"[Link]
[Link] ar
[Link]
knowsomeofusknowwhatbei ngawi f
emeans.
Wedon'tactl
ikeki
ds"r epl
iedoneladywithhernose
tur
[Link] ingonherf atf
inger.
"Howi si
tal
lcovered?I
'
m sti
lldi
cingt
het
omat
oes
here"sai
dMaMi yawavingaknif
e.
"Maybesheist
alki
ngaboutanot
hercoveri
ngnot
thi
s.I
tdoeshappenwhenpeoplear
en'ti
nthesame
page"r
epli
edMaSbiyasi
tt
ingonthechair
.
Theothersl
aughedabi
tli
kewewer
emi
ssi
nganot
soobviousj
oke.
"[Link]
thoughtshewasmar ri
edwhil
eherhusbandwas
busytakingasecondwi febehi
ndherback"said
MaMpongoqui etl
[Link] ri
edtoNqubeko's
middlebrotherandshedidn'
tsaymuchi nall
occasionsandherhusbandwast hesame.
"
Noways"someonesaidprobabl
ymi
lki
ngt
he
momentsothest
orycont
inues.
"I
'
mt ell
[Link] ostal
otofmoney
tr
[Link]"
conti
nuedMaMi yaclear
lyenjoyi
ngthemoment
.
"Di
dthewi
feeverl
eave?Thesecondwi
fe?
"Asked
Sonto
"Ofcausenot .Thefir
stwifedidn'
tleaveaswell
.
Theyst ayed"repl
iedMaMpongobef oret
heyall
[Link] oundtheroom andother
s
weren'tlooki
ngpleased.
"[Link]
me?
"
AskedSbahlelooki
ngatthegir
lwhowaswear i
nga
clear
lyexpensi
veneckl
acethatmatchedher
earri
ngs.
"
[Link]
swor
king"sher
epl
iedi
nahar
sht
one.
"
Ithoughtheownshi
scompany?
"Pr
essedSbahl
e.
"[Link]?
"AskedNobant
ulooki
ngr
eal
ly
uncomfort
abl
e.
"
Wel
lnor
mal
lypeopl
edon'
thaveapr
obl
em l
eavi
ng
workt
osuppor
tthei
rotherhal
[Link]
ike
usdoi
ngthemother
ingalone"
"Zolacouldn'
tjustt
aket
[Link]
ike
somepeopl [Link] scompanyisl
egitand
didn'tcomefrom bl
oodmoney"sherepl
ied.
"Orki
llt
hel
ionandmarryi
t'
scub"someoneadded.
Someonegaspedandthewholeki
tchenwentqui
et.
IwasabouttoaskwhatwashappeningwhenI
i
nhaledNqubeko'
sper
fume.
It
urnedmyheadandhewasst andi
ngther
elooki
ng
ar
oundtheki
[Link]
smil
edext
endedahandtowardsme.
"Ladi
es"headdedaf
[Link]
ookhi
shand
andallowedhi
mt ol
eadmeoutsi
de.
"
It
'sver
yhoti
nther
e"Icomment
ed
"[Link]
.Let
sgo
homenow"hesuggest
edandIlaughed.
"
Wej
ustgother
e"ir
emi
ndedhi
m.
"Andever
[Link]
epr
[Link]
ihaveabedthatneedssomeacti
[Link]
ike
taki
ngoffsomebut
tonsandseei
ngthatbi
rthmark
onyourback"hewi
nkedbefor
ehishandtouched
myback.
"
Youar
ejusthor
ny"It
easedhi
m.
"
It
sthedress.I
tremi
ndsmewhati
'
drat
herdo"he
whi
sper
ed
"
Letmesaybyet
oot
her
s"
"
For
gett
[Link]
'sgo"
"Ohokay"istart
[Link] kedpasta
groupofguywhower ebusytal
kingaboutthis
gangsterguywhowasact i
ngalli
nnocentbuthe
wasr uthl
[Link]'
tevenr epl
y
whent heygreet
[Link] ki
nguntilwe
reachedthecarandheopenedt hedoorforme.I
thoughtmyaunt sdramati
cbutitwasclearthatwe
hadlessdr amathantheMbonambif amil
y.
Chapt
er11

Nqubekost
ayedintheki
tchenasIcookeddi
nner
f
orthefami
lythatwasn'
tther
[Link]
dn'
twantt
hem
comingbackt
oemptypotsbecauseIhadaf eel
ing
thatf
oodwasthel
astthi
ngont hei
rmi
[Link]
wereli
kel
ytocomebackstar
vingandexhausted.
"
Whatar
eyouthi
nki
ngabout
?"AskedNqubeko
l
ooki
ngatme.
"
Whyisyourfami
lyl
iket
his?"Ithoughtmyaunts
wer
edramati
cbutIwaswr [Link]
lywasfar
wor
se.
Helaughedabi tbeforehewal kedcloserand
l
ower edhisli
psintomi [Link]
ngitsa
smallkissbuthedidn'[Link] ssed
unt
ilhishandswascuppi ngmyassandst arti
ngto
pul
lupt hedressbutIhadt ocomebackt osenses.
Thi
swasn' tDurbanandIwassur ethatanyone
wal
kingi nwouldbel essimpressed.
"
Ist
hisgoi
ngt
otakel
ong"hepoi
ntedt
hepot
s
"
No.I
'
m al
[Link]?
"
"BecauseIwantt otakeyoutobedandf uckyou
untilyourt
highsshakeandt henyousquir
tallover
me"hewhi sper
edthewor dsslowl
yint
omyearand
Igiggled.
"
Real
ly?
"
"Yesr
eal
[Link]"her
epl
iedhi
s
eyesl
ookingreal
hor
ny.
"You'
veneverdonet
hatt
ome"myf
acewasheat
ing
up
"Andtodayi'
m goi
ngt odoi
trepeatedl
y.I
'
lleven
spankthatass"hel
ickedhi
slips.
"
[Link]"Iwasn'
tsureaboutpar
tthough.
Wasn'
tspanki
ngpai
nful
?
"I
t'
spai
[Link]
nyoureyes.I
tdoes
sti
ngbutyouwi l
llovei
t"heki
ssedmyneck.
"
[Link]
hepot
"It
urnedaway
f
rom hi
m andcheckedt
hepot
s.
"Myf atherandUncl eJosiahgrewupt [Link]
fatherwasi [Link] ealthingwher eyou
sellthemar ketbuthedi dsell
tot heot hersinthe
[Link],Sheep, Goats,Mealiesandf r
uits.
Wewer edoi [Link] aughtcame.
Wel ostal [Link]'
trecovermuchand
thi
ngsst [Link] eJosi ahwaswor ki
ng
i
nJohannesbur [Link] atherwasst i
lldoi ng
wel ltheywer ecl [Link] ogivet hem
ever [Link] edever ythingwehar [Link]
whenwel ostittheyst oppedt reatingusl i
kef ami ly.
Hissonsgotmar r
iedandhecameher etot ellmy
fathert hatwewer enevergoi ngt ogetmar ried.
Sifi
sowasst i
lltryingtosavemoneyf orlobol aand
Mzwakhewaspl anningt odosobuthel osthi sjob
sot het alksneededt obepost [Link] arted
spreadi ngr umour [Link] ngwewer en't
goingt obeanyt hingi nthi [Link] ngmymot her
wasbewi tchingt [Link] dal otandwe
stoppedgoi ngt [Link] swedi dn'tseeeach
otherunt i
lthepar entsst artedt alkingt oeachot her
agai [Link] nsoutt heyst il
ldon' tenj oyhavi ngus
[Link] ur nedever ythingi ntoacompet i
tion.
WhenIst artedmycompanyt heysai di twasbl ood
[Link] anial mostdi edi nacar
acci dentUncl eJosi ahwast elli
ngever yonewho
l
istenedt hatitwasbecausewewer eki ll
ersand
ever ythingwehadwasbl oodmoney.I twassucha
messyouknowbutwemovedpasti [Link] tsal l
barkandnobi te, wit
ht heki [Link] t
st olerate
eachot
herbecausewear
efami
ly"heexpl
ained.
"That'
shecti
[Link]
heyweret
aki
ngaj abon
uswhent heysai
dcompaniesmadewit
hblood
[Link] r
iedasecondwi
fewit
hout
tel
li
ngthefir
stwif
e?"
"Thulani
.Itwassuchascandalwheni tcameout.
Wedi dn'
tlaughatt hem t
[Link]
l
adieshavet urneditint
oacompet i
ti
onnowt he
glovesarealloff.I
t'
samesst hatIwantyout o
avoid"
"
Wellwehardl
ycomehereanywaysoIguesst
hey
wil
lonl
ytal
kaboutmebehi
ndmyback"Iremoved
t
hepotonthestove.
"[Link]
dbekepti
nadi
stance"
heagreedbefor
ekissi
ngmyl i
ps.

*
***
***
*

Nqubekokepthi
spr
omiseandfuckedmeunti
lal
lI
coul
ddowast omoanhisnameandpullont
he
[Link] hcol l
apsedont
he
bedexhaustedbutsati
sfi
[Link]
edmebackto
him bef
orehecovereduswithablanket
.
"
Didyoul
ikei
t?"
Itur
nedmyheadoverandki
ssedhim bef
ore
l
[Link]
rdasi
twasIenjoyedbei
ng
spanked.
"
Ilovei
t"Ihi
smyf
aceonhi
schestandhel
aughed.
"
I'
m gl
adandIl
ovei
ttoo"
"
Doyout
hinksomeonesl
eepsher
efr
om t
imet
o
t
ime?
"
"
[Link]
hinkt
heyusethisr
oom f
orvi
sit
[Link]
mind?
"Hepull
edmyf aceupsoIcoul
dseehisface
t
oo.
"
Wehar dl
ycomeher
eandt
her
oom i
scl
[Link]'
t
mind"
"
[Link]
oveyou"
"Il
oveyoumore"Iclosedmyeyesfeeli
ngthe
exhaust
ionsl
owlytakeover
.[Link]
other
swerebackandwecoul dhearthem l
aughin
theki
tchenprobabl
yst
il
ltal
kingaboutwhatwent
downt her
e.
"[Link]
ll
edt
hel
ionandmar
ri
edi
t'
scub?
"
Iasked
"
Idon'
[Link]
eepnow"

*
***
**

[Link] i
ll
asl
eepsoIdidn'twakehi m upinsteadIwashedup
qui
cklyandwentt [Link]'swhatbeing
marri
edwasal [Link] oldtowakeup
ear
lyandgotot [Link] pri
seMaMi ya
andSontowereupal ready.
"
Mor
ning"Igr
eet
ed
"
Didyousl
eepwel
l?
"AskedNomasont
o
"
Yest
hanksandyou?
"
Theylaughedandstar
tedt
ell
ingmeaboutwhat
happenedafterwel
eft
.Someone'
shusbandgot
drunkandst ar
tedyel l
ingatever yoneunt i
lthey
forcedhimt osl eepi [Link] adyar r
ivedand
dumpedt hebabycl aimi ngthef atherwasoneoft he
brothersandt omakei twor sewast hatthebr other
hadt womor ebabi esf rom [Link] f
e
washumi li
atedaswel [Link] al
kedunt ilwer ealized
thatitwasget t
ingl ateandwest i
llneededt omake
breakfastforever yoneel [Link] feredt o
fetchwaterint hecommuni tytapbecauset het ank
wasal mostempt [Link] ooktwobucket sandl eft
.
"SodoIcallyousqueezertooorMaKhumal oor
sist
erorj
ustyourname? "Sheaskedaswebot h
walkeddownt hepaththatleadt
othetap.I
twasn'
t
farbuti
twasadi ff
erentstorywhenyouare
carr
yinga25l i
tr
ebucketinyourhead.
"
MaKhumaloisf
ineandt
hankyouf
ortaki
ngcar
eof
myhouse"Ismi
ledt
oshowIwascoolwit
hit
.
"
Idon'
tmi
nd"sheseemedal
lshyabouti
t.
"
I'
llbuysomenewsheetsandpi
ll
owsjusttoyour
mandoesn'tt
hinkweonl
yhaveonebeddingset"
Wel
ookedateachot
herandl
[Link]
neededtobr
ingusheremor eof
[Link]
everwas
happeni
ngwithfamil
ydramawasnotourproblem.
Thiswasmyf amil
ynowandwhenwehadki dsthey
weregoi
ngtobelongthere.
"Thembeka"someoneshoutedbehindusmakingus
bothstopandtur
[Link]
li
arbutI
couldn'
trememberwhereIsawhi m.
"Nhl
akani
[Link]
oschooltoget
her
"whenhe
smil
edIremember
edhim cl
earl
[Link]
unnyguy
whousedtocomeandmakej okesi
nourcl
ass.
"
Irememberyou"
HehuggedNomasont
ofi
rstbef
oreshaki
ngmy
hand.
"
[Link]"
"[Link]
ltal
l"hereal
lywas
tal
landlookedli
kesomeonewhowasdoi ngwellf
or
himself
.Ialsonot
icedt
heri
ngonhisfinger
.Hewas
marri
ed.
"
[Link]
ng
i
nDur
[Link] ntoyouorsomething
butneverhappened"webothlaughedbecause
Durbanwasahugepl aceforsuch.
"YeahIwasstudyi
ng,graduat
ed,di
dinternshi
pand
gotapermanentposi
[Link]?Iknow
youhadabursarybef
or eweevenpassedst andar
d
10"hewasreall
ysmar tandwellmannered.
"[Link] kwi
[Link]
[Link]
i
nt oproper
[Link]
hZi
[Link]
tracksfort
heschool
"InoddedeventhoughIdidn'
t
rememberher .
"
That
'
sgr
eat
.It
'sgr
eatseei
ngyou"
Weneededtokeepgoingbef
orepeopl
ewokeup
andbr
eakf
astwasn'tr
eady.
"MaybeyoucomeseeinDurban"hecal
ledbehi
nd
usandIsaidokaybef
orewavi
ngathim.
Weconti
nuedtothetapandf
ounditemptysowe
f
il
ledupourbucket
sandcarr
iedt
hem backhome.
"
[Link]
hing?
"Ispokeaswe'
wal
kedsidetosi
de
"
Sur
e"
"
Whoki l
ledt
helionandmarr
iedi
t'
[Link]
adi
es
menti
onedityester
dayandI
'
m wonderi
ngwhati
t
means"
Shedi
dn'
trepl
yatf
ir
standIhadt
ost
opt
olookat
her
.
"Theyareal
waysst ar
ti
ngsomer umourandpress
onthem unt
ilpeoplestar
ttobeli
[Link]'t
knowwhot heyaregoingaftert
histi
[Link]'tworry
aboutit
"somethingaboutherfacemademet hi
nk
therewasmor etothi
sliei
ftherewasevenalie.
"I
tsabadl
[Link]
lyhurtsomeone"Iadded
befor
ewecontinuedquiet
lyunti
lwegothome.
Theot her
swerealr
eadydonewit
hbreakfastand
[Link]
nuedto
serveitwhil
eIwenttocheckonNqubeko.
Hewasawakeandt
[Link]
oppedwhenI
sawt
hebags.
"
Wear
eleavi
ng?
"Iasked
"
[Link]
essed"hepoi
ntedt
hedr
essont
hebed.
"
Why?Didsomethi
nghappenbackinDur
ban?
"I
wasconf
used.I
tseemedsosudden.
"
[Link]
obet
her
[Link]
easegetdr
essed"
"Thenleavemebehi [Link]
afteral
l"Isuggest
edandhest oppedt
yinghi
s
shoesandl ookedatme.
"Idon'
tthi
[Link].I
'
m goingtosay
goodbyetomypar ent
[Link]
[Link] l
lgopickupyourcarand
beonourway"hedi dn'
tevenwai tf
ormetoargue
beforehewalkedout.
Istoodthereforamomentbef orehi
sphonemade
mesnapoutofi t
.Itwasatextmessageandit
fl
ashedbr i
efl
yont hetoppar
tofthescreenbefore
thephonewant edapasswordt oseethewholetext.
AllIsawwas" out,ri
ghtnow"
It
ri
edtoguessi
ttwiceandgaveupwhenIf
ear
edi
t
wi
llbl
ockhi
m outandhewillknow.
Ichangedthedressandcheckedifhewasn'
t
for
gett
inganythingbehi
[Link]
packedeveryt
hingandputawaywhatwewer e
l
eavi
ngbehi
nd.
Whenher
etur
nedhel
oadedt
hebagsi
nthecar
.
"
Ineedt
ogosaygoodbyet
otheot
her
s"
"I
'
m comingwithyou"hecar
ri
edthebagstothecar
andheldmyhandaswewal kedbacktothemain
[Link]
isedt
oseeJosiahandhiswif
e
havi
ngbreakf
astwithmyparent
sin-l
aw.
"MaKhumal [Link] ookli
kesomeone
l
eavingalready?"Askedt
hemot heri
n-l
awclearl
y
sur
[Link]'
[Link]
il
lshockedtoo.
"[Link]
[Link]
[Link]
lwhenwegett oDurban"sai
d
Nqubekonotevenallowingmet ositdown.
"
Sosoon?
"Sai
dJosi
ahl
ooki
ngatNqubeko.
"Yes.I
'
m neededt
her
[Link]
ltal
konthephone"he
actual
lyt
ookmyhandbef
oreIcoul
devensay
anythi
ng.
"Theki
[Link]
[Link]
goodbye"Iasked
"
Alr
eadydi
dforusbot
[Link]
'sgo"heopenedt
he
doorf
ormeandIgotinbef
orehesl
ammedi
tshut
andhurr
iedt
ohi
sside.
Bytheti
met heladi
escameouttowavewewere
al
readypastthegateandhedi
dn'tevengi
veme
chancetowave.
Hedi
dn'
tevensl
owt
hecardownaswedr ovepast
agr
oupofmenwhotr
iedt
owavehim down.
"
AyboNqubeko"Ishout
ed.
"Theyprobablywantalif
[Link]
fer.I
'
min
ahurry"thatwashisrepl
yandInoticedthatwe
weren'tdri
vingt
owardsmyuncl eshomewher emy
carwas.
"
Andmycar
?"
"Someonewil
lcomefori
[Link]'
twantyoutodr
ive"
thatwashi
srepl
yandIdidn'
tneedasangomato
tel
lme,Iwasbeingt
akenawaysoIdon'tseeor
hearsomethi
ng.
Chapt
er12

Thet
ri
ptookusl
esst
han2hour
sbecauseNqubeko
wasf l
ying.I twasami raclethatt hecardi dn'tgo
downhi lli
nNdundul uar eabecausehewasdr ivi
ng
l
iket hosecur vesar en'tscar [Link]'tsayanyt hing
untilwear ri
vedandt omaket hemat terswor sewas
thatheacci dent all
yunpl uggedt hef r
idgeandi t
defrostedal lovertheki tchenspoi li
ngever ythi
ngi n
i
tandgi vingt heki t
chenar eall
ybadsmel [Link]
him Ifocusedoncl eaningandt hrowi ngever yt
hing
outwhi lehemadesomeexcuseaboutgoi ng
shoppi nganddr ivi
ngpastt heof [Link]
beforef ocusi ngont het [Link]
donecl eani ngIwentt otakeabat htryingtopass
ti
mef orhimt ocomebackwi thsomet hingtoeat .I
stayedi nt hebat hunt ilIfearedf alli
ngasl eepsoI
wentt ot akear ealnapi nbedwi t
honl yat owel
wrappedar oundmybody.

Agentl
etapwokemeupj ustasIwashavingthis
wei
rddream whereIwaswatchingawomancr y
whi
lesi
tti
ngonthegrassmatint hecor
neroft
he
r
[Link]'
trememberherfaceandIdidn'
t
r
ememberwhatshewascr yi
ngabout .
"
Areyouokay?
"AskedNqubekobef
orehesatdown
"I
'
mj ustt
ir
ed.I
tfeel
sli
keIr
anamar
athon"Ir
epl
i
ed
befor
egetti
ngofft
hebed.
"
Marathon?Why?"Heobvi
ousl
ydi
dn'
tgetwhatI
meantwitht
hatst
atement
.
"Idon'tknow.I'
m hopingyoucant el
lmewhywe
hadt orunawayl ikewewer echasesbyanangr y
mob.I '
m stil
lgaspingtotheaftereff
ectsofyour
drivi
ngbecauseIwashol di
ngmybr eaththewhol
e
tri
p"Iwentt otheclosetandpickedadr esstowear
notbot her
ingwithabr aorevenpant i
es.
"That'
swhyyouweresoqui
et?Youwerehol
ding
yourbreat
he?
"Helaughedt
hinki
ngIwasbei
ng
funny.
Ideci
dedtoignor
ehim andl
eavet
hebedr
oom
al
toget
herbecausehewasmakingmeangry.

*
***
***

"
Sowear
enotgoi
ngt
otal
ktoeachot
her
?"He
askedaft
erIhadsil
ent
lyfr
iedsomesausagesand
bakedbeansbefor
eservi
nghim wi
thbreadand
coff
ee.
"Af
teryou'
vetol
dmet
hetr
uth"Ir
epli
edbef
ore
goi
ngt ogetmyownf
oodandret
urnedt
oeat.
"
Whatt
rut
h?"
"Whydidwer [Link] dn'
thavean
emergencyatwor [Link]'
tevenletmesay
goodbyetoeveryone"Imadesur etolookathi
m
whenImentionedhi sshadyacti
ngandhedi dn'
t
seem movedatall.
"
Idi
[Link]?"
Heaskedhi
svoi
cesoundingal
lcoolwhichmade
meevenmoreangr
y.
"
I'
m notst
upi
dNqubeko"
"Idi
dn'
tsayyouar [Link]
[Link]'
sthetrut
handIdon'tknow
whatel
setotellyou"hesatbackonthecouchand
l
ookedatmel i
kehewaspl easedwit
hhimself.
"
Andt
hel
ionandcubst
ory?
"Hi
sfacechangedt
he
momentIment
ionedt
hest
ory.
"Nott
hisagai
n"hestoodupandlef
tther
oom
befor
eIheadhim sl
am t
heplat
eonthesink.
"Iguesstherewil
lbenot al
kingunt
ilyout
ellme
exactl
ywhati tmeansbecauseIhatehavi
ngt o
i
nvestigat
ethis"Ishout
edbef or
eturni
ngupthe
volumeont heTV.
Hedidn'
trepl
yandIfini
shedeatingbef
oregoingto
washthedishesint
[Link]
llt
here
si
ppi
nghiscof f
ee.
Iwashedupquiet
lyandl
efthi
m al
onebefor
egoing
[Link]
emainedqui
etunti
lIdozed
off
.

*
***
**

WhenIwokeupi twasalr
eadydarkoutsi
[Link]
underthebl
anketandIwassurethatIwasn'
twhen
Isl
[Link]
edtothe
l
oungebutstoppedwhenIheardNqubeko'svoi
ce
comingfr
om t
hespar
[Link]
ear
lyont
he
phone.
".
..
..
And?
"Heaskedafteramomentofsi
lence.I
heldmybreat
htol
ist
ensomemor e.
"Absolut
elysureaboutit"Iwasn'tsureifhewas
askingaquestionortell
[Link] dsomet hi
ngelse
Ididn'
thearbeforeIheardhi m say"That'
smuch
better
.Thanksman"t henf ootst
epsappr oached
doorandIhur r
iedbacktot hebedr [Link]
heardthedoorcloseIpretendedt obeonl ywaking
upnow.
"
Final
lyyouar
eawake"
Ididn'treplysi
ncewewer en'
ttal
kingtoeachother
i
nst eadIwentt otheki
[Link]
thest oveitmeanthecooked.
"Theysayfoodisawaytoman'shear
[Link]
t'
s
thesamef orwomen"hej
okedandIforcedmysel
f
nottolaugh.
"Icookedsomemutt
oncur
[Link]
lll
ikei
t"
hewentt oopent
hepot
.
"
Thanks"Ir
epl
i
ed
"
Awor
datl
ast
"hesoundedpl
eased.
Idi
shedupformyselfbeforegoi
ngtothel
ounge.
Hefoll
owedwithhishal
featenfoodandwesatsi
de
bysidebef
oreeat
ingquietl
y.
"I
sthesal
tokay?
"HeaskedandIknewi
twasn'
t
aboutt
hesalt
.Hewant
edtotal
k.
Inoddedandt
urnedmyheadbackt
otheTV.
"Whataboutt
het
ast
e?Iusedchi
ckenspi
ce"he
addedaft
eramoment.
"
It
sfi
ne"Ir
epl
ied.
"
Andt
her
ice?I
sitokay?Thi
sri
cei
sal
it
tl
etr
icky"
Thi
st i
meIdidn'treplyatal
[Link]
nuedt oeatand
hestoppedtryi
ngandt urneddownt heTVmaki ng
ussiti
naqui ethouselikeitwasempt [Link]
myselfthati
fIwant edNqubekot otreatmelikehis
wif
enotapett henheneededt orespectme.

*
***
**
Thequietmealf ol
lowedbymewashi ngthedi
shes
andhiml ockingal
ldoorsandthenItur
nedthe
l
ightsoffinthekit
chenbeforegoi
ngtothebedroom.
Iwasstillchangi
ngintoanight
dresswhenhe
walkedinandst ar
edatmef oramoment .
"
Haveyouseent
hespar
echar
ger
?"Heasked
"
No"Ir
epl
iedbef
oreget
ti
ngi
ntobed.
"Iwonderwher eitis"hecomplainedbeforeleavi
ng
[Link]'treplyi
nsteadIreachedoverand
tur
nedthebedsi del ampoffbeforecoveri
ngmysel f
[Link] et
urnedIheardhim
mumbl esomet hingbeforehesatonhi ssideofthe
bedandt henafterf ewsecondshewasi nbed.
"Youcan'
tbesleepi
ngnow"hewhi
sper
edi
nmyear
befor
ehishandrestedonmyhi
p.
"I
'
m not.I
'mthi
nkingabouthome"Irepl
iedand
didn'
tsl
aphi
shandawaywheni tr
eachedformy
upperbodymakingthenippl
eshar
denoncont act
.
"
Whatabouti
t?"Heaskedashi
sthumbcont
inued
t
oteaset
heni
ppl
est
hrought
hef
abr
icofmysl
eep
wear
.
"
I'
llt
ellyouabouti
twhenyouandIar et
alkingagain.
Whenwehavenosecr et
sandinthi
stogether"I
r
epli
edwi t
hsuchbitt
ernessevenmyvoicet r
embled.
"Whatareyousaying?"Heaskedasher
emovedhi
s
handfrom mybreasts.
"I
'
m saying,
aslongasyouar ekeepingsecret
sfr
om
meandact i
ngallweir
daboutitthenwemi ghtas
[Link] ethe
husbandandIwast [Link]
otheri
namannerwewer etol
d"
Ihear
dhi
mt akeadeepbreathbef
orehi
shandwas
backont
ouchingmybreastagai
n.
"
Whatdoyoumeanbyf
eedi
ng?
"
"
Cooki
ngandser
vingyoumyvi
ginawhenyouwant
i
t"
Hishandfr
ozebef
oreheslowl
ywi
thdr
ewi
tand
pull
eddownmynightdr
ess.
"
[Link]
lthi
sbecause?
"Heaskedaf
teramoment
ofsi
lence
"Obvi
ouslyt
hat'
swhatwear edoingandgoodat .
SinceyouandIbegantalkingeveryt
hingi
sgoing
[Link] dn'
ttalkandwebot hsti
cktothe
endofourdealwedidn'thaveanyar guments.
Clear
lyyouwantthatagainsinceyoudon'twantto
tal
ktome"Iexplai
ned.
"Okay"hesoundedbi t
terandIt houghti twasendof
theconver sati
onbutaf teramomentheshi ft
edand
Icouldf eelhim [Link] dn'ttal
k
muchwheneverhewashor nyhepul ledmebackt o
him orIwoul dfeel hi
m standingf i
rm bef orehis
handwoul dtouchmyt highsandhi slipsonmy
[Link] hatitwashi swayofsayi nghe
want editandIwoul dall
owmysel ftogeti ntothe
moodandr espondt [Link] d
fol
[Link] ditslowerandsl owerasi f
hewant edtomakesur ethatIfeelittoobutsome
daysi twasshor terandqui cker
.Wheneverhewas
quickerandshor thewasal wayst enseabout
somet hingbutIneveraskedIj ustdidmydut yas
thewi fe.
Thepokeinthebut
tfol
lowedbythekissi
ntheback
ofmyneckbeforehi
skneewentbetweenmyl egs
all
owinghi
shandtheaccesstowherehewas
reachi
ng.
"Someyear [Link]
yguar dinoneof
thestoresinJohannesbur
[Link] oo
youngbutnotol denoughfort
hedecisi onImade
thatti
me"hepausedashi shandst ar
tedt ouchi
ng
mysensi ti
vepartmakingmynipplestighteneven
harder.
"Ther ewasapr [Link] kedi njust
ast hreeguyshadent eredthestoremaki ngthem
thel astshopper [Link] dn'
tsuspecta
thingandIwaspr epar i
ngtoleavebecausemyshi ft
wasendi [Link] heguyswentst raighttoher
andgr abbedherbyt [Link] eacted
someoneal readyhadaguni nmyheadandt he
thirdguywaspul l
ingouthisbagdemandi ngcash
from t heti
ll
"hepausedbef orehishandsqueezed
mybr eastmakingmel etoutamoanandhi sli
ps
kisst hesensiti
vespoti nmyneck.
"
Ithappenedsoqui
ckl
[Link]
het
il
land
pulledt hemoneybef oretheguyhi thim wit hhis
gunsohecoul dtakeoverl oadingt [Link]
pregnantwomanwascr yingsi l
entlywhileIwas
tryingtot hinkofsomet [Link] hinkabout
i
tyouseeal otofoptionsandt henallsucceedbut
whenf acedwi t
hthatsituationnoi deacomest o
mi [Link] essthenf i
vemi nutesandt hent he
sirensappr [Link] hemancur sebef ore
het hrewt hepr egnantladyont hef l
[Link]
car ryi
ngthemoneyr anoutf irstbutthepol icehad
arrived"thehandwentf urtherdownbef orehe
removedi tandhi skneeaswel landthenhepul led
mebackt of [Link] dn'tlookmei nt heeye
i
nst eadheki ssedmyl i
psf astandhar [Link] ssed
him backf oramomentandt henhepul ledaway.
"Theystart
edfiri
[Link] ehowmanyshot sbut
theglassbrokeandpeopl [Link]
screamedIt hi
nkandt herewassomuchr unning
aroundallofuscoveringourheadswhi l
et r
yingto
getdownt [Link]
dascr eam and
thenmor eshotscomingf rom t
hestor
enowandi t
seemedt oencouraget hepoli
cebecausetheyf i
red
backhi t
ti
ngeverythi
ngandusont hefl
oortryi
ngto
crawlintosaf
ety"whenhepausedagai nheclaimed
myl i
psagainandt hi
stimeherol
ledoverunt i
lhe
wasbet weenmyl [Link]
ar edateachother
befor
ehesl ammedi nsi
dememaki ngusbot hgasp
i
[Link] sthrustwer
edeepandhar d.
"Whent heshooti
ngstoppedt her
ewassomuch
[Link] ai
[Link]
bull
etshadhitherchestandshedi edinst
antl
y
accordingt
ot hereport
"hishandgrabbedmyhand
andpinnedthem abovemyheadbef orehewas
backintodeepthrusti
ngwi t
heachwor d.
"
Herbaby?"Iwhisper
edwhi chwasf
oll
owedbya
moanbecauseitfel
tthatgood.
"Shedi edinstantl
[Link]
breakingthingwaswhent hisgirlcamerunni
ng
towar [Link] l
ingoutforher
mot herandt hemomentshesawhershescr eamed
i
namostpai [Link] herwasdeadjust
l
iket hat"
Thedeept
hrustwentevendeeperandIf
ound
myselfdesper
atel
ymovingmywaisttr
yingt
o
[Link]
[Link] hegi
rlwasandwhathappenednext
.
"
Mor
epl
ease"Ibegged
"Iqui
tt hej
obandl ef tJohannesbur gaf terthat
becauseIcoul dn'
tgetovert hegirlandherscr eam.
YearslaterImeett hiswomanandwef alli
nl ove.
Thegi r
lislongforgot [Link]
[Link] ehappyandIt akeherbackt omy
parentsandplanonsendi ngmyuncl [Link] ythi
ng
i
sgoi ngsowel luntilIseehermot [Link] oof
herwi t
hhermot herandsuddenl yI'
mt ranspor ted
backt othescenei nt [Link] sthegi r land
thatwomanwashermot her"[Link] dert hen
I'
veevercamebef oreandNqubekocol l
apsedover
mehi sbodyal sotrembl i
[Link] etgoofmy
handsIhel dhisti
ghtagai nstmeashedi dt hesame.
"[Link]
[Link] h
cri
edaboutit
.Webot htr
[Link]
forbeingawit
nessandherf [Link]
mistakewastel
li
ngpeopleabouti tandal
sothatI
recei
vedpaymentwhenIr esignedsuddenl
ythe
storywasnar r
at eddi
f f
erentl
[Link] y
Iwast hepar toft herobbersandIhadki l
ledherand
thensear chedf orherdaught erbeforemakingher
falli
nlovewi t
hmej usttoeasemygui l
[Link]
romour sspreadsandwest artedfighti
ngmor eand
mor ewebot hsatdownanddeci deditwast oo
muchsowebot hendedt [Link] '
showt heli
on
andt hecubt hingcameabout "hefini
shedbefore
rolli
ngoffme.
Chapt
er13

Nqubeko'sringi
ngphonewokemeupandwokehi m
upaswel l
.Hecompl ai
nedbeforeanswer i
ng.I
coul
dtellitwasbadnewsbecausehegotoutof
bedandwhi l
ecursi
ngandthr
eat eni
ngt oki
ll
[Link] dthetimewasaf t
er3am.
Ther
ewasnowayIcoul dgobackt osleepsoIsat
upandwai t
edforhi
mtofini
sht hecallandtel
lme
what'
swr ong.
"
Okay,
okay.I
'
lldoi
t"heendedt
hecal
landt
hrew
t
hephoneonthebed.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"Oneofthemissingtr
uckwasf oundinKi mberl
y.
NowIneedt ofl
yt oKimberl
yandgett hem back.
Theauthori
ti
esarerefusi
ngtoreleasethem unless
ther
[Link] n
andSandil
ewi t
[Link]"heki ckedthebed.
"
Rightnow?
"
Hel ookedatmel ikehewasgoingtosayIwas
[Link]
izedt
hatIhadaskedastupidquest
ion
buthey, Iwasstil
lhalfasl
eept
oprocessmy
thoughts.
"Atsunr
ise"her
epl
i
edaf
teramomentandt
hensat
down.
"Soi
sitahar
dprocesstogett
hem t
ogi
veyouback
yout
ruck?
"Iaskedaft
erayawn.
"
It
'sear
[Link]
osl
eep"
"
It
'sf
[Link]'
[Link] wor
ri
[Link]
f
[Link]
dn'
tyoubehappy?"
Hestar
edatmeagai
nbefor
ehel
aughedandt
hen
l
eanedovert
oki
ssmyli
ps.
"
Yes.I'
m happy.I
tst
het
ravel
l
ingt
hat
'sI
'
m not
t
hri
ll
edabout"
"
Why?
"
Heseemedtohesit
ateabitbefor
ehecont i
nued"I
don'
twantt
[Link]
tsforoneday.
It
ssafewi
thThatoexposedbutsti
ll
.Us,wear e
sl
owlymaki
ngthismarri
agewor kandnowt hi
s"
"I
'
llbeher [Link]
sourbread
[Link]'tnegl
ectyourduti
es"I
[Link] edhi
m wit
hme
mostoft heti
mebutstil
lImissedbeingwit
hmy
fr
iendsandhaveawi neortwo.
"
Areyousur
e?"
"
YesI'
m sur
[Link]
eal
lydon'
tmi
[Link]
ongwi
lli
t
t
ake?
"
"I
'
m hopingi
t'
[Link]
tspossibl
ethati
t
mightt
akelonger
.Ineedt
ocallSandil
e"hepi
cked
uphisphone.
"
Hemi
ghtst
il
lbeasl
eep"
"
Theyneedt
owakeup.I
'
m al
readyupandIpay
them al ot
"hewentaheadandmadet hecal lwhi
leI
stoodupandwentt ot
[Link]
returnedhewasdonesoIcr awledint
ohisl apand
kissedhi mli
pwithmyarmsar [Link]
goingf orasmallki
ssi
nthelipsbutheclear l
y
want edmor esoweconti
nuedt oki
ssuntilhe
stopped.
"
Weneedt
otal
kaboutsomet
hingbef
oreIl
eave"
"Soundseri
[Link]
'swr
ong?
"It
ri
edt
ogetof
fbut
hestoppedme.
"I
t'
st heat t
it
[Link] oneyouusewhen
youar enotsat i
sfiedwi thsomet [Link]'tli
keit.
I'
m notsur eifyounot [Link]' tyellmuchbuti t
doesn' tmeanIdon' tgetangr [Link] t
'snot
prett
[Link] yyout endt oreactbadl y
onthi ngs"Iwasn'tfollowingandIt hi
nkhenot iced
beforehecont inued" Thevi [Link] oadedi t
becauseyouwer eangr [Link] ookedmei nt heeye
andsai dyoucangooutt hereandf uckar ealman.
Thenl astnightyout hreatenedt obl ockof f
everythinginthismar riagebesi def oodandyour sel
f
becauseyouwant edtoknowsomest orypeople
keeptell
[Link]'
snothowyouf i
xthi
ngs"
Ialmostlaughedbutst
oppedmyselfbecausehe
didn'
tlookli
kehewasjoking.
"
I'
m sor
ry"
"Iknowyouar esorr
[Link] i
methinkbef
oreyou
saysomet hi
nglikethatagain"hegavemeahar d
l
ookt hatmademewantt onodmyheadl i
keachild.
"Let'
snothavethisconversati
onagain"headded
afterasecond.
"
Areyougoi
ngt
ost
artbeat
ingmeup?
"
"[Link] st
akeandImadeapr
omiseto
neverdothatagai
[Link]
herear
emanywaysone
canpunishsomeone"
"
Suchas?
"
"Youdon'twantmet oshowyou"heki ssedmyli
ps
andhi shandsstart
edrubbingmyt hi
[Link]
hing
l
edt oanotherbefor
ewemadel oveandthenhe
start
edtopackwhi l
eheor deredmetogetsome
sleep.
*
***
*
[Link]
handsandwenttomakehi
m somebreakfastand
myowncoffee.
"Doyouhavepl
answhileI
'm gone?
"Heaskedashe
satdownontheki
tchenchai
r.
"
Suchas?"Isippedt
hecof
feesohewoul
dn'
tsee
mywholeface.
"
Goi
ngoutwi
thyourf
ri
ends?
"
"Maybe.I
'm notsur
e"Il
[Link]
didn'
twanthimtogetal
lwor kedoutabouti
t.
"
Okay"Hewentbacktoeat
[Link]
tedt
hinki
nghe
wasgoi
ngtoconti
nuebutt
herewasnothing.
"
Soyouar
egivi
ngmei nstr
uct
ions?Li
keIshoul
dn'
t
l
eavet
hehouseorsomethi
ng"
Thatmadehimr ai
sehisheadandlookatme.I
coul
dn'thel
pmyselfsoIlaughedandthen
pret
endeditwasacough.
"Don'
tworr
yaboutt
hat.I
tscompl
etel
ysafenow.
Youcanleavet
hehouseandgooutwithyour
fri
[Link]
nksfr
om str
angers
andnof li
rt
ingwithrandom guysint
hoseplaces"
thi
swasar ealsur
[Link]
ionedthat
thethreatwasgoneandIcoul dhavegonebackto
workal r
eady.
"
Youdi
dn'
ttel
lmei
twassaf
enow"
"I
'm sor
[Link]
dhavesai
dsomethi
ngbutalot
happenedinthepastfewdaysMaKhumal
o.I
for
got"
"
SoIcangobackt
owor
k?"
"I
fyouthi
nkyour eal
lyshoul
[Link]
twasni
cet
o
haveyouaround"heshrugged.
"
I'
m goi
[Link]
ovewor
king"
"Okay"t
hat
'sallhesai
[Link]
dedt
olett
hisgo
beforewestar
tedhavi
nganunnecessar
yfight
.
Whenhef i
nishedeati
ngIwashedt hedishesbefor
e
off
eri
ngtodr i
vehi
mt otheairpor
[Link]
ecall
ed
andsaidhewasgoi ngtopickhim upwhichmeant
mydrivi
ngwasnol ongerneededsoIki ssedhi
m
goodbyewhenSandi l
earr
ivedandwavedgoodbye
ast
hecarl
eftt
heyar
d.

*
***
***

Ical
ledNombusof ir
standshesai dshewas
avai
labl
elat [Link] l
edPhumeleleshesaid
shewasof fwor kandsai dshewasheadi ngto
Nandatovi sitherauntbutpr omisedtobeback
l
[Link] eedtomeeti nmyhouseat6andt hen
dri
vetogethert ot hecl [Link]
ngtowai tfort
hem
mademer eal i
zehowmuchImi ssedbeingatwor k.
Thehousewasqui etandIhadnot hingelsetodo
becauseIdi dn'tfeelli
kedoi nganyspringcleaning
soIdecidedt osleepi nsteadandwokeupwhenmy
phonewasr ingingnonst op.
"
Hel
lo"Ianswer
ed
"
Areyousl
eepi
ng?
"AskedNqubekoi
ntheot
herend.
"
[Link]
eyet?"Isatupand
l
ookedatt
heclock.I
twasaf t
er4:30anditwasodd
t
hatthegi
rl
sdidn'
tcal
lnotevenoncet osaythey
wer
est
il
lon.
"[Link]
.MeandDavin,Sandi
le
wenttothepol
icestat
ion.I
tsnott
hateasy"he
soundedannoyed.
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
shIcanhel
p"Idi
dn'
tknowwhatel
se
t
osay.
"
It
'sf
[Link]
desl
eepi
[Link]
eyouupt
o?"
"Nothi
[Link]
nner
.I'
mtoobor
edt
o
cook"Itest
edthewater
.
"
Dinner
?Al
one?
"
"
Ist
hatapr
obl
em?
"
"Ofcausenotbutwearther
[Link]'
twant
peopleseei
ngahotwomanhavi ngdi
nneral
one.I
ts
aninvit
ati
onfort
roubl
e"
"Don'
tworr
[Link]'tdoanythi
ngt
hatwil
ldisappoi
nt
you"Icoul
dhearsomeonespeaki
ngonhi send
whichmeantheneededtogoandIalsoneededt o
getupandstar
tgetti
ngready.
"
That
'
sal
[Link]
oveyou"
"
Iloveyout
oo"
"[Link]
l
[Link]
llt
alkbef
oreI
[Link]?
"
"Noprobl
[Link]"Iendedt hecallanddi
aled
Nombuso'snumber .Itwentst
rai
ghttovoi
cemai l
.I
tr
iedtoPhumeleleandsomeoneanswer edsaying
Phumelel
ewasst il
linInandaandshewasgoi ngto
[Link].
Atsixo'cl
ockIwasdr essedandreadyforthem but
Nombuso' sphonewasst il
lof
fandPhumel elenever
ret
urnedmycal [Link]
edagainitwent
unansweredsoIdeci dedtogofordinnerf
orr eal
andforgetclubbing.

*
***
*
Eati
ngalonewasn'tfunnybutitf
el treall
ygoodt o
[Link]
edmymeal andatesl owl ybecauseI
wasn'tgoi
nganywher [Link]
llenj oyi
ngitwhenI
spott
edaf amil
iarf
[Link] ookedbackatme
andIremember edwher eIknewhi mf [Link]
namewasKwanel eMt hembuandIusedt ohavea
madcr ushonhi sinhighschool .WhenIt ri
edt o
stealanotherl ookathi m hewasl ookingbackatme.
Ilookedawayf i
rstbeforepretendingtobe
searchingf orthewai t
erbuthewascl earlylooki ng
atmeandt el
li
ngt hepeopl ehewaswi thsomet hing
[Link] nkingabouti tnowmademewantt o
l
aughoutl [Link] hisguywas
i
nst andar d7heusedt owal karoundwi t
hhi sshoes
shini
ngandhi shandsbur iedinhispocket [Link]
tofantasizeabouthi m ever ydayunt i
lIaccept ed
thathewasnevergoi ngt [Link] dhe
whenmyshoeswer [Link] rwas
hardlycombedneat l
ybecauseIwasn' tafanoft he
[Link] rtweren'twhitebecauseIusedwear
oldshirtsunt i
ltheywer ecompl etelyt
ornont he
coll
arandcr eam whi t
eIcol [Link]
ngbacknowi t
seemedf unnybutt hosedayshemademyhear t
skipabeat .
"
ThembekaKhumal
o"thevoi
ceabovemestopped
mytr
ainoft
houghdownthememorylane.
Il
ookedupt
ohi
m st
andingt
herel
ooki
ngdownat
melooki
ngmor
ehandsomethanhedi
dthoseyear
s
ago.
"[Link]"Ist
oodupt oshow
poli
tenessandofcauseitf
eltwei
rdtobelooki
ngup
athim.
"[Link] mostdi
dn'
trecogni
seyou"heoff
ereda
handandIgavehi m mineandf oramomenthe
didn'
tletgo"[Link]'tbel
ieveit
"
"
Smal
lwor
[Link]"
"Yeahiti
[Link] hreeweeksagoandI
drovepastyourhome.I tmademet hi
nkoft hose
dayyouknow"hel aughedandIr ememberedwhy
heusedt omakemykneesgoal [Link] e
hadtwodi mplesononecheekandwhenhesmi led
hisli
psremainedpr essedandt henher ai
sedhi s
eyebrowswhenhedi [Link] twaswor sebecause
hehadabear dandsi deburnsandamoust ache
whichmadehi ml ookreall
[Link] ledgood
[Link]
ikemoneyandIknewhowmoney
smelledl
ikesinceIwasmar r
iedt oNqubeko.
"
Soyoust
il
lli
vet
her
e?Imeanyourf
ami
ly"
"
Yeaht
[Link]
dpeopl
eandr
oot
[Link]
don'
twantt
oleave"hel
aughed
"Iknow"Il
ookedathistabl
eandtheywer
etal
king
[Link]
endi
ngnottol
ookbutt
hey
weren'twi
nning.
"Soyouarehavi
ngameal
aloneorhusbandi
son
hisway?
"
"Al
[Link]
dn'
tmakeit
"henoddedandl
ooked
atmebefor
esmili
ngl
ikehewasrememberi
ng
somethi
ng.
"[Link]
nktodayi
sthehappiestdayofmyli
fe.
Seei
ngyouhasmademer eal
lyhappyMaNtungwa.
Lookatyou"
"
Itwasar
ealsur
pri
sef
ormet
oo"
"Whydon'tyoucomesitwi t
[Link] eeati
ng
aloneaft
erall
"hesuggestedandIknewi twasa
[Link]
iendswerealreadyt
alki
ngsoIdi dn't
wanttoruinwhatevert
heywer edoi
ngint hei
rtable.
"I
'
[Link],
I'
m sure
youhadotherpl
ansandi'
mt i
red.I
tsbeenal ong
day"Il
iedandhopedhewasn'toff
ended.
"[Link]
.Maybe
wecanhavecof feeandcatchup"hesuggested
alr
eadytakingouthi
sphone.
"
Noprobl
em"Igavehimthenumberbef
orewavi
ng
t
hewait
eroveraski
ngf
orthebi
ll
.
"Itwasni cet [Link] oyyour
evening"hesmi l
edandwal [Link] il
l
smi l
inglikeaf oolast hewai t
ercamewi t
ht hebill
.I
paidandgaveherat ipbefor eleavingt herestaurant.
Iwasappr oachi ngmycarwhenIhear dNombuso' s
l
[Link] ri
endandIknewhel aughingtone
i
twasdef i
nitel
yher .Iwaitedf orasecondbef ore
theyappear [Link] el
ef ir
stt hem
Nombusobehi ndherandt hent woot hergirlsI
didn'[Link] etalkingandl aughi ngt hey
didn'tevennot [Link] n
beforepul l
ingoutmyphoneandcal ledNombuso' s
number .Icoul dseehersear chingherbagf orthe
phonewhi letheot hersstoppedandpausedf or
photosPhumel elewast [Link] ar edatt he
phonebef oreput t
ingitbacki nt [Link] he
callandt ri
edPhumel ele.
"Heygir
l"sheansweredandwal
kedwayf r
om t
he
gir
lsaf
terplaci
ngherfi
ngeri
nherl
ipsaskingt
hem
tokeepquiet.
"
Hey.I
sever
ythi
ngokay?
"
"Yesgi
rleveryt
hingisfi
ne.I
'm st
illher
eandi'
m
sorr
yItotal
lyforgott
oretur
nyourcal l
.Icoul
dn'
t
comeback"shel iedandIcoul
df eelmyeyesfil
li
ng
upwithtears.
"I
tsfi
[Link]
alkedt
oNombuso?Shei
snot
answeri
ng"
"[Link]
shecamebackf r
om workandt
ooksomepi l
ls"she
l
iedwit
houtevenhesi
tat
ing.
"I
tsokay.I'
m al
soheadi
[Link]
ly
night
.Enjoy"
"Byegi r
[Link]
imeIguess"sheendedthecal
landI
wat chedasshesaidsomethingtoNombusowho
l
aughedbef or
etheyvani
shedfrom myview.I
deletedboththei
rnumbersonmyphoneanddr ove
[Link] brat
editwasatext
messagef r
om anunsavednumbersaying,
"I
twasni
[Link]
ookgor
geousas
al
ways,f
rom Kwanel
e"
Chapt
er14

"Soyouar enotcomingback!!
?"Iyel
ledevent hough
Ididn'
treal
[Link]
hewassayi ngheisn'
tcominghomet omorrow.I
hatedbeingalonei
nt hehouse.
"
Youmissme?
"Heaskedsoundi
ngl
ikehewas
l
aughi
ng.
"Thehouseisquiet.I
'
vecl eanedeveryt
hingalr
eady
andi '
mtir
edofsleeping"Ilaughedtooavoidi
ng
havingtosayi
[Link]
lydidmi sshim.
"Noonewillki
llyouforadmit
ti
ngthatyoumissme"
helaughedandIl aughedt
obefor
esayingyesI
missedhim.
"
Can'
tyougooutwi
thyourf
ri
ends?
"Heaskedaf
ter
west
oppedl
aughi
ng.
Itol
dhim whathappenedandthatIdidn'
tthi
nkt
he
fr
iendshi
pwasgoingt ocont
inueaft
erthi
s.
"Justl
ikethat
?"Heaskedaf
terIwasdone
explai
ningwhatIsaw.
"
[Link]
iedjustl
i
ket
hatandt
heyl
[Link]
elt
l
ikeabi
gfool"
"That
'sst
[Link]'
thaveaf
ightoranysi
ll
y
argument
? "Heasked
"[Link]'
tseeneachot
hermuchsi
ncet
he
acci
dent
"
"Andyoudidn'
tsayanythi
ngthatmighthave
off
[Link]
tjoki
ngly?"
It
houghtabouti
tandnot
hingcamet
omi
nd.
"[Link]'tl
ikeoff
endingpeopl
esoIalwaysmake
surethatIdon'tdoorsaysomethi
ngthatmight
off
endanyone"
"
[Link],I
'
llsendsomeonet
oseei
ftheycan
f
indsomethi
ng..
..
."
"Don't
.Theydon'twanttobemyf ri
endsanymor e.I
don'tt
hinkweshoul dbull
ythem i
ntobeingfr
iends
withmei ft
heydon' twantt
oanymor e.I
'
llbefi
ne.
Boredom neverkil
ledanyone"
"
Butwecantrytofi
ndoutwhathappened.I
tdoesn'
t
makeanysensefort
hem t
ojustst
opwant i
ngyour
f
ri
endshi
p"
"Iknowbuti'
l
lbef
[Link]
dnothi
ngwrongsoi ft
hey
wanttowalkawayIsayit
sokay.I'
veal
ready
delet
edthei
rnumbers"
"
Thatwasqui
ckMaKhumal
o"hel
aughed.
"
Iwashur
t"
"[Link]
ceandhave
someonecomi ng.
..
."Ididn'
tevenl
ethi
mf i
nish
becauseIknewwhat everhewassuggesti
ngwasn'
t
goingtowork.
"[Link]
sn'
[Link]' ti
nvol
veyour
coll
eagues.I
'
[Link]"
"
It
sni
cet
oknowi
'
m bei
ngmi
[Link]
ssyou"
"
Imi
ssyout
oo"
"Maybeyoushoul
dcomeher e.I
t'
snot
hingf
ancy
butwecanf i
ndanicepl
aceandhavesometime
awayfrom home"
"
[Link]
il
lowemeapr
opervacat
ionnotyour
wor
ktr
ip"
"
Wewi
llgomont
[Link]
edoyouwantt
ogo?
"
"Over
seas"Ir
epliedqui
ckl
yandexpect
edal
augh
buthedidn'
tlaugh.
"
Okay.I
'
llsor
toutt
hedocument
sandwewi
llgo"
"
Canweaf
for
dit
?"
"I
fwecan'ti'
l
lmakeaplan"Ther
ewassomeone
el
sespeakinginhi
sendwhichmeantheneededt
o
go.
"
Thanks.I
sthatSandi
le?
"
"Yes.I
'
llcallyouinanhour
.Gotoaspaorshoppi
ng.
Anythi
ngt ofightof
fbor
[Link]
oveyou"he
suggested.
"Il
oveyout
ooandi
'
llgodomyhai
randdosome
shoppi
ng"
"Buysomethi
ngsexyf ormyeyesonl
y"headded
befor
eendingthecal
[Link]
twit
hagoofysmile
onmyf ace.
*
***
**
Toavoi dbumpi ngt oanyoneIdi dn'twantt ot alkto
l
ikemyf ormerf ri
endsIdeci dedt ovi sitadi f
fer ent
hairsaloonandaskedt of orl ongbr [Link] adies
saidt heywi l
ldoitbecauseIwant edt ofinishear l
y.
Thewhol eplacewasl oudast hel adiesl aughedand
gossipedaboutsomeonewhohadaboyf ri
end
[Link] esayingt heywoul dhavel eft
themanal ongt i
[Link] esayi ngt he
moneywaswor [Link] ngi twasbet tert o
cryinanAudi overcryingi nashacksomewher e.I
wasn' tsur eifIagr eedornot .Bef orebei ngmar ri
edI
wasachi ldwher emyonl ywor rywasf etching
wat erincommuni tywat erpump, sweepi ngt heyar d,
cleaningt hehouse, cooki ng, washi ngt hecl othes
andbei ngsenther eandt her [Link] ldand
thosewer et henor malt hingsIdi dwi thoutcompl ai
n.
Her einDur bangi r
lswer en' tdeal ingwi thallthat .
Someoft hem wer edeal i
ngwi thdat ingabusi ve
boyf r
iendswhomadeupf ori tbybuyi ngt hem
expensi vecl [Link] odealwi ththat
attheageof17t hent hatper sonwasmor el i
kel yto
beexhaustedintheageof25andnolongerseei
ng
thei
rselfwort
[Link]
dn'tj
udget
hem t
[Link]
whenNqubekohadsl appedmeandIforgavehim.
Judgingthem wouldhavemademeahypocr i
te.
Thetopicwentonunt i
ltheystart
edtalki
ngabout
menwhomar ryotherwomenwhi l
esleepingwith
otherpeopl
[Link] ol
dushowhert hen
boyfri
endsaidther
ewasaf unerali
nhishomewhi l
e
hewasget ti
ngmar r
[Link] i
onedhow
shebakedt wobucketsofsconesandbought
vegetabl
esshelaughedandcr iedatthesamet ime.
Ifel
[Link] vedsomet hingl
ike
thatatal
l.
"I
talsohappenedtome"anotherl
adyspokeupand
weal lt
urnedt
olookatherbecauseshewasver
y
quiet
.
"
Youl
ie"sai
doneoft
hel
adi
esdoi
ngmyhead.
"[Link],wewer
eseri
ouslydati
ng"sherai
sed
herheadandIcaughtherf acei
nthemirror
.She
l
ookedl ikesomeoneI'
veseenbefor
ebutIjust
didn'tknowwhere.
"Sohewentandgotmar
ri
edj
ustl
iket
hat
?"
Someoneasked.
"Heact
ual
lywentandpi
ckedthi
syounggirli
nthe
Bundu'
sandmarri
edher
.Witchcr
afti
srealIt
ell
you"
"Washeawarethatyouwereseri
ouslydating?
Someti
mesment hinkwearejustfr
iendswi t
h
benef
it
s"someonesaidandotherslaughed.
"That'
sexactlywhathesai dwhenIaskedhi m why
hedidsomet hi
ngli
[Link] i
meIusedt ohat
e
him butnowihat [Link] owantto
confrontherwhenshecamet otheplacesIwasin.
SomedaysIwoul dcallhim andinsulthi
m because
Ifel
thebr okemyhear tbutHet hinkshefoundwhat
hewant edhewentf oritbutiknowt hetrut
hnow.
Shebewi tchedhim"shesoundedsad
"Soyou'
veseenhi
swi
fe?
"Askedt
hel
adyabovemy
head.
"
[Link]
osinhisoff
ice"sher
epl
iedand
wentbackt
odoinghernai
ls.
"
Damngi
rl
.Isshegor
geous?Mor
ethanyou?
"
Thi st
imeIturnedmyheadandl [Link]
[Link]
becausesheoncecamet ogreetusinthecl
ub.
Whenshel eftwewereleftwonderi
ngwhatwast hat
allaboutbecausewedidn'tknowher.
"Youlookatherandcompar
e"shepoi
ntedherl
ong
nail
edfingerr
ightatme.
Thewholepl
acewentqui
[Link]
etyouwoul
d
havehear
dapindrop.
"[Link]
usthappened?"Abraveper
sonspoke
andsnappedeveryoneoutofthetr
ance.
"Thi
sisNqubekoMbonambi'
swif
e?"Someone
askedwhi
lepokingmyshoul
der
.
"
[Link]
'sMr
sMbonambi
.Hel
eftmef
orher
"she
r
epl
ied
"Thisgir
lri
ghther
e?"Anot
herl
adyspokewhi
le
pointi
ngatme.
"[Link] ebeaut
if
[Link]
her?"Sher
epl
iedandrol
ledhereyes.
"
Butyouar
e10t
imesbet
ter
.Noof
fencegi
rl
"she
saidt
omebef oresheturnedbacktoher"Imean.
Lookatyouandt henher"whenshesaidthatthe
other
[Link]
earsfi
llmyeyes
butIwasn'tgoingtogivethem t
hesati
sfacti
on.
"[Link] [Link]
hewant edmor
ethanjustbeauty"someonespoke.I
didn'
tlookupj
usti
ncaset heysawt hetear
sf i
ll
ing
myeyes.
"[Link] tchedhi [Link]
cleanedf [Link] andimot i
vated
him whenhewashavi ngtroublewi t
hwor [Link]
wakesupanddeci det ogetmar r
[Link] ike
Nqubekoaf terhi
sfiancel [Link] ol
dmehe
neverwant edtogetmar ri
[Link] healand
whenhef el
tbett
ersheseducedandbewi tchedhi m"
shewasnol ongertalkingbutmor eli
keyellingand
witheachwor dshewasget ti
ngupandwal king
towar dsme.
"[Link]
lalone"someone
yell
edandshepausedbeforeshereachedthechai
r
Iwassitt
ingon.
"Whynot ?Shei sher enow.I '
vebeenwat chi ngher
whi l
esmi l
ingli
keast upidgir
lli
vingt hel i
f eshehas
noi deahowi tcameaboutandget t i
ngdr unki n
expensi veal cohol .I'vebeendyi ngt otellherexact ly
howIf eel .Iwor kedsohar dtohel pNqubeko
cont i
nuet orunt [Link] ocal lmein
themi ddleoft heni ghtbecausehewasexhaust ed
andnot hingwaswor ki
[Link] dsitt hereand
l
istent ohi m whi l
ehespokeaboutt hepl ans, t he
tri
psheneededt ot [Link] iti
onandpeopl e
whohat edseei nghi m besuccessf [Link] here
throughal [Link] efthim Iwast heone
l
isteningt ohim moanabouthowhear tbrokenhe
reallywasandhowmuchhehadt rustedher .Idi dn'
t
knowiwasdoi ngi [Link] tt her eand
spendhi smoneybecauset hat'
sal lyouar egoodf or.
Agol ddi ggerwhot hinksli
feisaboutf r
iendsand
gettingdr unk"shegavemeahar dl ooklikeshewas
goingt osl apme.
"
Wel
lI'
m spendi
nghi
smoneynotyour
s"Ir
epl
ied
"
Becauseyoubewi
tchedhi
m"sheyel
led
"
[Link]
ckedmebecausehewant
edme"t
he
l
adiesdoi
ngmyhairbot
hst
oppedatthesameti
me
andIusedthi
schancet
ost
andupjusti
ncaseshe
tr
iedtohi
tme.
"Hedi dn'twantyou.I fhewant edyouhewoul dn'
t
havecal ledmet hedayyougotmar r
[Link]
want edyouhewoul dn'thavef uckedmei nhis
officeandt helargeboar droom t hatoverlookt he
[Link] [Link] of uckli
ker abbitin
[Link] lovert heki t
chenandt [Link]
manhasanappet it
[Link] df l
ytoKi mber l
yandgo
givehi m whathei salwayscr [Link] uck"
theot herlaughedandsomeonewer elookingatme
withjudgi [Link] heireyesIwasawi tchwho
witchedamani ntomar r
yingher .
"[Link]' tli
ke
thi
[Link]
sar
[Link]"anewvoice
spokeatthedoor
.Theworkingladi
esstar
ted
gett
ingbusysomeevenpickingupnothi
ng
pret
endingtobebusy.
"Whyshoul
dIleave?I'
vebeenyourcli
entf
oryear
s
[Link]'
tpossibl
ypickheroverme"sheyel
led
l
ikeamadwoman.
"[Link]
eyoudonewithherhai
r?"Sheasked
befor
ewalki
ngfur
theri
n.
"
Almostdone"repl
iedt
hegi
rlpushi
ngmebackt o
t
hechair
.Isatdownandtheybothstar
tedf
ini
shi
ng
myhair
.
Theplacewentqui etandmyphonepi ckedthis
momentt [Link] i
nallymanagedt otakeit
outofmybagi twasKwanel [Link].I
wantedtotalktobuteveryonewasl ookingatme
probabl
ythinkingi
twasNqubekoandi gnori
nghim
wasgoingtomaket hem speculat
eevenmor [Link]
answered.
"[Link]
tingtothi
nkmaybeIoffendedyou"
hesoundedcheer f
ulforsomeoneIwasignori
ng.I
didn'
trepl
ytohismessagesandIwasn'tanswering
hiscall
swhenhecal l
ed.
"
Why?
"
"Becauseyouhaven'
tanswer
edmycal
[Link]
eyou
okay?"Heasked.
"
I'
mf i
ne.I
'vebeenbusy"Il
[Link]
dheart
he
l
adiesst
arti
ngtogobackintochatti
ngamongst
t
hemsel
vesbutIknewIwast
het
opi
c.
"
[Link]
eyouokay?
"
"
Yeahi
'
m cool
"
"
HeyNqubeko"IheardNobuhlespeakandwhenI
l
ookedathershewasholdi
ngt hephonei
nherears
whi
letr
yingtoopenherwall
etwitht
heotherhand.
"
Areyoustil
linKi
mberl
y?"Sheasked.
"
[Link]
lo"sai
dKwanel
einmyear
.
"YesI'
m st
il
lher
e"Ir
epli
edbutIwasn'
tli
steni
ngt
o
[Link]
ngather
.
"
Canwehavecof
fee?Justt
otal
[Link]
chup"
"[Link]
ls.I
'l
lgopackr
ightnow"
saidNobuhlebef
oreshegiggl
edli
keachil
dlocked
i
nacandyshop.
"Yeahsur e.I
'l
lletyouknow"Ir
epli
edtoKwanele
event houghIdi dn'
tful
lyr
egi
sterwhathewas
[Link] ohangup"Bye"Iaddedbef
ore
endingt hecall
.
"That
'
sthet
hingaboutbl
ackmagic.I
tdoesrunout
atsomepoi
nt"sai
dNobuhlebef
oresheactual
lyspi
t
atmebutherspi tdi
dn'[Link] herladi
es
gaspedsomel aughedsomecl appingi
nshock
whilesomesayi ngitwast ruethatanymarriage
buil
tonwi t
chcraftandt earsdoesn'tl
ast
.Nobuhle
walkedoutandIbl i
nkedseveraltimestoclearmy
eyesthetearsthatfil
ledup.
"Done"theladyannouncedbeforeshestepped
awayf rom [Link] adyalsofi
nished.I
paidandt hankedt
hem beforeleavi
[Link]
them l
aughasIexi t
edbutIkeptwal ki
ngandonl y
fi
nall
ybr okedownwhenIr eachedmycar .
Chapt
er15

Idon'tknowhowl ongIsatinthecarj ustcryingand

unabletost [Link]
nkIdozeoffatsomepoi nt
beforebeingawakenbyar ingi
[Link]
hurt,myeyesf eltli
ket
heywer eswol l
enbutmostof
al
lmyhear twasi nphysi
[Link] he
phoneunt i
litstoppedandtheni tshowedt hatIhad
7mi ssedcal l
sfrom Nqubeko,3f r
om Kwanel e,
11
fr
om differentunsavednumber sandt hen12
messagesfrom Nqubeko,KwaneleandNombuso.
Yeshernumberwasnol ongersavedbutIknewi
t
byheartal
ready.
Aknockont hewi ndowmademej ustandt
he
phonestar
tedr i
[Link]
numberandt heper sononthewi ndowwasn'tgi
ving
[Link]
oweredt hewindowj ustabitanditwasthe
l
adyfrom t
hehai rplace.
"
[Link]?
"Sheseemedtobewetonher
f
aceli
kesomeonecover
edindri
ppi
ngsweat.
"I
'
mf ine"Iloweredthewindowsomemor eandt
hen
noti
cedt hatitwasactual
lyr
aini
[Link]
becauseoft herai
nnotsweat.
Shegavemet heobvi
ousl
ookanditmademecry
evenharder
.Myphonehadstoppedr
ingi
ngandi
t
star
tedagai
n.
"
[Link]
ti
ngherecryi
ngwon'tmakeyou
f
eelbet
ter
.Thepersononthatphoneist
heanswer
t
oyourquest
ions"
Inoddedbefor
ewi pi
ngthet
[Link]
phonestoppedri
ngingandherphonest
art
ed
r
ingi
ngt
[Link]
ookedati
tbef
oreanswer
ing.
"Sheisher
e"sherepl
iedaft
eransweri
ngandt hen
[Link] dn'
ttakei
t
shepushediti
nsi
dethecaranditlandedonmyl ap.
"Thembeka"IcouldhearNqubekoyel
li
nginthe
otherendbutinst
eadofthevoicecomingouti
twas
asobt hatcameandIcontinuedtocr
y.
Thewomanbangedonthewindowagai
[Link]
ower
ed
i
tagai
nbef
oreret
urni
ngherphone.
"Chil
[Link]
somepoi nt
.Sither
eandcr ywhil
ethemanisgoing
crazyoverther
ewor r
iedaboutyou"shewasno
l
ongerspeakinginagentletone.
"
Shecal
ledmeawi
tch"
"
Andyouarenotawi t
[Link]
eyoupr act
isi
ng
wit
chcr
aft
?"Sheyel
ledandIkeptquiet
.
"[Link] thurt
[Link] ngbit
terandyou
cannotl ethergetyouli
[Link]
what evertheywantjustsotheot herpersonisi
n
mor epai [Link]
ngtohur [Link]
[Link]
ytr
yingt
oreach
[Link]
dedt hevi
deoandpostedi
non
Facebook"t
hatexpl
ainedthecal
lsandmessages.
"
I'
llcal
lhi
m backassoonasIgethome"
"Hesaidyoudon'tdri
vewhenyouar [Link]
's
whyIcamel ooki
ngf [Link] dn'
tst opcal
li
ng
mesayinghei ssureyoudidn'tl
[Link] i
ke
someonewhoknowsandcar esforhiswi f
[Link]
him out
"shesoundedl i
keshewasbeggi ng.
Thephonest
art
edr
ingi
ngagai
[Link]
essedt
he
but
tonandpl
acedi
tonmyear.
"
Thembeka"
"
Yes"
"ThankGod.I
'
m goi
ngoutofmymi
ndher
[Link]
eyou
okay?"
"
I'
mfi
ne"
"For
[Link] enotokay.I
'
m coming
[Link]"Idi
dn'tanswerbecauseIwas
cryi
ngandmynoser unning.
"
Ever
ythi
ngshesai
disal
[Link]
weren'
tdati
[Link] ejustf
ri
[Link]
moment sandthat'
sit
.Thembeka!!
"Heyel
ledwhen
idi
dn'tsayanyt
hing.
"
[Link]
[Link]
ease"
"
Okay"That
'sal
licoul
dsay.
"Khet
helowillcometakeyouhome.I
'
m att
he
air
portal
ready.I'
l
lbether
esoon"
"
Okay"Ir
epli
edagai
nbefor
eendingt
hecall
.The
womanlookedatmeint
hewindowbefor
eshegave
meaweaksmi l
e.
"Gohome, havealongbat
h,havesomecomfort
foodandt hengetsomesl
[Link]
mer
youwillseethati
t'
snott
heendoftheworl
d"
"
Thankyou"Irepli
edandwat chedhergoandthen
Khethel
oar
ri
[Link]'
ttalktohi
mi nst
eadi
moveandall
owedhi mt odri
[Link]
respect
edmysilenceunti
lwegothomeandI
t
hanked.
"Idon'
tmindst
ayi
ngunti
lNqubekogethere"he
offer
edbutidi
dn'
twanthi
m her
[Link]
al
one.
"I
'
llbefi
[Link]
ordr
ivi
ngme"iwaski
cki
nghi
m
outandhegotit.
"[Link]
[Link]
l"heof
fer
edas
hewal kedtothedoor
.
"
Forr
eal
.I'
l
lbef
ine.I
'
m goi
ngt
osl
eepf
orawhi
le"
"Okay.I
'
llcal
lsomeonet [Link]
behindme"heinstruct
edbef or
ewal ki
ngout
.I
fol
lowedhim outandwai t
eduntilhewasoutoft
he
gatebefor
egoingbacki nsi
de.

*
***
***

Thebat hdidn'
thelpatal l
.Theheadachewasback
andi couldsti
llhearhercalli
ngmeawi [Link]
accusedofwi tchcraftwassomet hingwet ookvery
seri
ousbackhomebecausebei ngaccusedof
wit
chcr af
tmeantyouwer eevi
[Link]'twish
anythinggoodf [Link] ecapableof
ki
ll
[Link] l
ingmeal lthesethi
ngsf orwhat?
Foramant hatcametomyhomeandaskedf ormy
handinmarri
[Link]
hi
mt omarrymemaybeIwoul dhaveseenmyer ror
butIdi
dn't
.Shewasaccusingmeofallthesethi
ngs
andIdidn'
tdoanyofthem.
Themor eItri
edt oshuthervoi ceoutofmyhead
theloudershebecameandt hemor epai
nfulmy
headf eltunti
lIwassl eepingont hefl
oorj
ust
l
isteni
ngt omyownhear tbeatasi tmat
chedthe
thr
obbi ngofthepai [Link] l
emybodygr ew
coldandIpul ledthecoverof ft
hebedandcovered
myselfwhi lesleepi
ngl i
ket hat.

"Thembeka"Iheardtheyel
li
[Link] aratfi
rst
andt henitgr
ewlouderandlouderbeforethe
blanketwaspull
edofmeandIr emainedshiveri
ng
ont hefl
oor.
ItwasNqubekoandhewaswet .Whenhenot iced
myeyeslooki
ngathi sdri
ppi
ngbagt hatwasgoi ng
torui
nthecarpethewenttodropiti
nt hepassage
becausewehadt i
lesther
e.
"Fl
attyr
eandthedri
verdi
dn'thaveaspareandI
couldn'
twai
tforemer
gencyservicessoIwalked.
Twost r
eet
saway"heexplai
nedwhi l
estr
ippi
ng.
Theclockonmyphonesai ditwasafterei
ghtat
nightandthatexpl
ainedt
[Link]'
tsur
eof
thelastmealIateandIwasreal
lyhungry.
"
Whereareyougoi
ng?
"HeaskedwhenIwal
kedt
o
t
hedoor.
"Tomakesomet hingtoeat.I
'm hungry"henodded
andcont i
[Link]
eft
him [Link]
thereandIimaginedheronitwi t
hNqubeko
[Link]
ookedatt hesinkandwonder ed
i
ft heydidi
tther
eatsomepoi nt
.
"Hey"whisper
edNqubekobehi ndmeandIj umped
becauseIdidn'thearhi
m comein"Sor
[Link]'
t
meant o"heplacedbothhandsonmysi deandheld
met here.
"Ineedtomakesomethi
ngt oeat
"Iwantedt
oget
outofhisgr
[Link]
dn'
twanthimtobreat
honme
andIdidn'
twanthimtotouchme.
"Itcanwai
[Link]
eisjustbit
ter
.Sheustryi
ngto
getbackatmeandI '
m sorryyouhappenedtobein
thef i
ri
ngl
ine"
"Soyouneversl eptwit
hheraf t
erwegotmarri
ed?In
youroff
ice?Inyourcar ?Incapetownorwherever
elseshetravelwithyou"Ididn'
tmeantoshoutbutI
couldn'
thelpit.
Hedidn'
trepl
yandIknewitmeantt
heydi
[Link]
wasn'
tjustbi
tt
[Link]
li
ngmethet
rut
h.
"
Itwasalongti
meagoMaKhumal
o.I
twasa
mist
akeand..
..
."
"[Link]
dIbewit
chedyousoI
couldstayinthi
shousehaveal
lthi
sbecausei
'
ma
golddigger"
"Youknowthat'
snott
rue.I
'l
ldealwit
hherandsor
t
thi
[Link]
ght"heletgoofmeandI
quickl
ymovedawaysohewoul dn'tt
ouchmeagain.
"Yougaveherthatri
ght
.Whenyoudidwhatever
youdidwit
hheryoupai nt
edmeasagolddigger
whohasnobr [Link]
eme"Igr abbed
aglassandwithoutasecondt
houghtIt
hrewi t
agai
nstthewal
[Link]
dn'
tevenf
li
nchandIwi
shed
i
thadlandedonhim.
"
Pleasecal
m down"hewal
kedcl
oserandIgr
abbed
aknif
e.
"Don'tyoudar
[Link]'
twantyoutotouchme"I
screamedandheldthekni
feti
ghtinmyhands.
"Okay,
okay"her
aisedbot
hhandsandst
epped
back.
"
[Link]
[Link]
wasplanni
ngt
ocomet [Link] oherand
t
oldheryouwer
einKimberl
y"
"Ihadnoideashewasupt [Link]
call
edwespokeandIment ionedt
hatIwast her
e.I
didn'
tknowshewasn'tjustmakingaconver sat
ion.
I'
m [Link]
edown"
"Ineverthoughti
twouldhurtthi
smuch"Ithrewthe
knif
eint hesinkbef
orel
eavingtheki
[Link]'
t
comeaf t
ermeandIwentt othespar
er oom bef
ore
slammi ngthedoorshut
.
Thet
ear
sdi
dn'
tst
opcomi
ngnomat
terhowhar
dI
st
uckmypal
msi
ntheeyes.
"Thembeka"heknockedonceandpushedt hedoor
open"Imadeyousomesandwi ches"hewas
holdi
ngaplatei
[Link] dn'
trepl
yhe
putitont
hepedestal.
"Howmanyt i
meshaveyouhadsexi nyourof
fi
ce?
"
Iaskedandhepausesforamomentbeforehe
[Link] r
iedt
otouchmyhands
Imovedthem."Sur
elyyouremember"
"
Dowehavet
odot
hisr
ightnow?
"
"Whynot?Ar
eyougoi
ngsomewher
e?"Iyel
ledand
stoodup.
"
Notr
ecent
ly"
"Thetr
[Link]
orherownt
icketoryou
payforher?"
"Ionl
ypaidfori
[Link]
herti
meshej ust
happenedtobeinCapeTown"heexpl ai
nedand
j
ustlooki
ngathim mademehatet hathedi
dn't
underst
[Link] deahowIf el
tli
ke.
"
Thembeka.
..
..
"Hest
art
edt
ospeakbutst
oppedas
myhandconnect edwit
[Link]
he
shockonhisfaceandthethrobbi
ngi nmyhand
feel
ingl
ikeIj
usthitaconcr
[Link]
erfew
secondsherubbedhischeek.
Chapt
er16

Iwokeupi npai
[Link]
rstIdi
dn'
tgetwherethepai
n
camefrom butwhenItri
edtogetoutofbeditf
elt
l
ikesomeonewasr i
ppingsomethi
ngi nmystomach.
Icoul
dn'tst
andupstrai
ghtandmyl egswere
ref
usi
ngt ocarr
ymybody.
"Nqubeko"Ical
ledoutbef
orekneeli
ngonthef
loor
whil
eholdingmyst omacheventhoughIdi
dn'
t
knowwhatt hi
spainmeant.
"Nqubeko"Icriedhar derbef or
epushingthedoor
[Link] i
ghtsweoni nthepassagebutthehouse
wasqui etexceptf ortherainthatkepthi
tti
ngthe
window." Nqubeko"It ri
edagai nandtherewasno
repl
[Link] ocal lforhelpandIneededt ocr
awl
backtot hebedr oom inordertodoi t
.Itt
ookmea
whil
et oreachf ormyphoneandIdi al
edNqubeko's
numberbuthi sphonewasof [Link] srecord
voicest ar
tedspeakingIendedt hecal landt r
ied
Phumel [Link] angtovoi cemai l
.Ilai
ddown
andl ist
enedtot hethrobbingpai nhopi ngitwillf
ade
awayevenj ustforasecondsoIcancal lforhelp
buti tdi
dn'tst
[Link] ghtdresswasal ready
stainedandIdi dn'tneedadoct ortotellmeIwas
l
osi ngapr egnancyIdi dn'tevenknowwast here.
Itri
edNqubekoandi tst
il
lwentt
ovoicemail
.I
thoughtaboutcal
li
ngthepoli
ceandaskingthem t
o
callanambulanceformebecauseIdidn'
tknowthe
[Link] angoncebefore
someoneanswer ed.
"Ineedanambul
[Link]
ease"Ispokewhi
le
sobbing.
"
Thi
sist
hepol
ice.
..
..
"Hest
art
edt
oexpl
ain.
"Please.I
'm [Link]'
trememberthe
number .Somet hi
[Link].
Please"Ibeggedwhi l
eanotheri
ntensewaveofpai
n
seemedt ogr i
pmyi nsi
deandsqueezed.
Themanaskedf
ormyaddr
essandIgavei
ttohi
m
bef
orehepr
omi
sedt
ocal
lanambul
ancef
orme.
"Hel
lo"hi
svoi
cecameonagai
naf
teraf
ewmi
nut
es
ofsi
lence.
"
Yes"Isai
dthr
oughmyt
eet
h.
"
Theyar
eonthei
[Link]
ost
ayont
hel
ine
f
[Link]
hat?"Heasked
"
Okay"
"
Hel
lo!
!"
"
Icanhearyou"Ir
epl
iedal
it
tl
eloudersohe
woul
dn'
tthi
nkIhungup.
"
Theyar
ecomi
[Link]
syourname?
"Heasked.
"
Thembeka"Ir
epli
edbef
oret
hephonesli
ppedf
rom
myhandandlandedonthef
loorandt
hatwasi
t.

*
***
**

"
[Link]?"Thepersonasked
r
epeat
edl
yuntilIopenedmyeyesandstar
edather.
Sheplacedsomet
hingonmyf
acewhenIt
ri
edt
o
speak.
Ist
aredatherf
oramomentbefor
eclosi
ngmyeyes
agai
nhopingtowakeupf
eel
ingbett
er.
Itdi
dn'thappen, whenIwokeupagai nIwasIa
hospit
albedandt hedoctorconfi
rmedwhathad
[Link] egnant
.Accordingtohim Iwas
over8weekspr egnantandIdidn'tgethowbecause
i
twasn' tovertwelveweekssinceNqubekoandI
hadunpr otect
[Link] herti
meshewor ea
condom becausewedi dn'[Link]
8weekswasar ealshock.
"MrsMbonambi"sai
dtheDoct
orlooki
ngatme
becauseIwasn'
tshowi
nganysignofhear
inghi
m.
"CanIsleepforabit
.I'mfeel
ingt
ir
ed"Idi
dn'twai
t
forareplybefor
[Link]
yell
edatsomeoneandIf el
tli
ket
herewassome
movement saroundmebutIcouldn'tf
[Link]
ti
redandwant edtosleep.
It
hinkIsl
eptf
oraver
ylongti
mebecausewhenI
wokeupIwasevenmoreti
redandi
nmor epai
n.I
t
wasevenworsewhenIsawNqubekosleepi
ngi
n
thechai
[Link]
art
edtomoveIclosedmy
eyesandpret
endedt
obesti
llsl
eepi
ng.
"Thembeka"hewhisper
edandIalmostr
epl
ied
beforereal
isi
nghewastest
ingi
fIwasawakeor
sleepi
ng.
"
Hi"someoneelsegreet
edandIheardNqubeko
r
eplybef
orefootst
epsfadedaway.
"
Hey"shet
ouchedmyhandandIopenedmyeyes.
I
twasanurseandshewassmi
li
ngatme.
"
[Link]
ngoaway?
"
"I
twil
l
.Youjustneedt ogetsomer est
.I'
l
lgetyou
somethi
ngforthepain"shesmiledandleft
.
Nqubekowalkedinsoonaf t
er.
"
I'
m sosor
[Link]
dhavebeent
her
e"
"
Butyouwer
en'
t"Ir
epl
iedbef
orecl
osi
ngmyeyes.
"
[Link]"whenhet
ouchedmyhandIyanked
i
taway.
"
Pleasel
eavemeal
one"
"
Pleasedon'
ttal
kli
ket
hat
"
Idi
dn'
trepl
[Link]
se
camebackwithpi
ll
[Link]
ankt
hem bef
oret
hanki
ng
her
.
"Coul
dyougetridofhimf orme.I'
mtootiredtotal
k
orli
stentohi
m apol
ogize"Itol
dthenursebefore
shelookedatNqubekowithapologet
iceyes.
Theydidn'
tspeakbutshewai
tedunt
ilhewal
kedout.
Inoddedathankyoubefor
eclosi
ngmyeyeshoping
tofal
lasl
eepsoon.

*
***
**

Thedoct orexplainedthatIhadl ostthepregnancy.

Heexpl ainedthatitwaspossi bleforapersontobe
pregnantandnotknowunt ilami ssedperi
[Link]
wenttof ur t
hertoexplai
nt hattheyneededt o
operatebecauseoft herupturesinceitwasan
ectopi
cpr [Link] ionedthatweonly
beganpl anningf ort
hebabyaboutaweekbef orehe
saidIwasal readypr egnantbyt [Link]
arguedt hatwewer eusi ngpr ot
ect i
onallthet i
mehe
broughtupsomespeechabouthowt hecondoms
aren'texactly100%andt hatitpossibleforthem t
o
l
eak.I tdidn'tmakemef [Link]
knowIwaspr [Link] oei
ght
weekswi thoutknowi ngt hattheyar epregnant.I
evenhadmyper [Link] orhad
answer saboutal lt
hoset [Link] aras
sayingIwoul dneedsomet herapyandt hati
twasn't
myf [Link] orehel ef
tme
alone.

*
***
*
Thehospitalstaywasf ourdaysbeforet
heysaidI
coul
dgohomef orr ecover
[Link] her
e
andImanagedt oshuthi m [Link]'
tsayhe
wassor r
yanymor [Link] hereunt
il
vi
sit
ingtimewasoverandt [Link]
sai
dIcoul dleavehecamet ogetmeandwel eftt
he
hospit
[Link] eachedthehousehe
openedthedoorf ormebutst oppedhimselfwhen
healmosttouchedme.I twasl
ikeheknewhowI
didn'
twanthimt [Link] ooked
atmeIf el
tli
kescreami ngathi
[Link],
yell
,[Link]
odoeveryt
hing
justsoIwouldn'
thavet odealwitht
hepaini
nmy
heartandbody.
"
Watchthest
ep"hespokebef
orehet
ookt
hebag
f
rom t
hecar.
Walki
ngwaspainf
ulbutthenursesaidIneededto
for
cemyselft
owalkstr
aightsobodycouldget
usedtobei
ngupri
ghteventhoughitwaspainful
.
Thehousedi dn'tsmellli
kehome.I twascl eanbutit
didn'tf
eell
ikehomeandIwasn' tgoi ngt ocol
lapse
ont hecouchandaskf [Link] r
aight
tothebedroom andst areont hefloorwher eI
[Link] petwascl eanandt hebed
changedbutt hephotowasnevergoi ngtoleavemy
[Link] yofNqubekosi tti
ngt her
ewi t
hhis
handonhi scheekaf terIsl
appedhi [Link]
walkedoutaf t
ersayinghewassor ry, agai
nwhen
hecamebackandIwasundert hecover stel
li
ng
him nottodarethinkhewasgoi ngt oshar ethebed
withmebecauseIwasf eel
[Link]
didn'treplyi
nsteadhesai dgoodnightandwentt o
sleepint hemai [Link] onghe
sleptifheevensl eptorhewai t
edformet osleep
andt henwentt oher .IhadnoideaandIdi dn'
twant
[Link]
lsand
sleep.
"It
houghtyouwi
llwantt
osl
eepi
nourbedr
oom"he
spokewhenhefoundmesit
ti
ngont
hebed.
Iwantedt
oreplybutIknewthatopeni
ngmymout
h
wasgoingtomakemesayt hingsIwasgoi
ngt
o
regr
etsoIdidn'
trepl
y.
Hewal kedi nandwenttoputt hebagi nthecloset
beforeher etur
[Link]
wentt ot hebat hr
oom t
ogi vehim somespace.I
didn'tneedt opeesoIsatont heseatforfew
secondsandonl ywentbackwhenIhear dhim
cl
oset hedoor .Iwentt
ot hemainbedr oom and
pickedupmypyj amas,t
hechar gerandmynor mal
pil
low.
"
[Link]
ustwar
mingi
tup.
I
tschi
cken"hespokewhenwemeti
nthepassage.
Inoddedandwenttothebedr
[Link]
qui
cklyandavoi
dedlooki
ngatthebandage.I
twas
goi
ngt obeapermanentr
eminderofever
ythi
ng.
Hewalkedinwi
thsoupandpl
acedt
het
rayont
he
pedest
al.
"I
'
llgetyourpill
sandwat er"heannouncedbefore
[Link] aredatthesoupfora
minutebef or
epicki
ngupt hebowlandt hespoon.I
couldtellhewassur pr
isedwhenhef oundme
holdi
ngt hebowlinmyhandandt hespooni nmy
mout [Link] espoonsbef oreputt
ingthe
bowldownandpi ckedupmypi ll
s.
"Thembeka"hestar
tedtospeakandIshookmy
[Link]'
treadyetandIwantedt
osleep.
Hepi ckedupt hetrayandl
eft
.Icover
edmyselfwi
th
ablanketandcl osedmyeyeshopingIcoul
dbe
drunki npainki
ll
ersandnothavetodealwi
th
anythingjustforalit
tl
ewhil
e.
Thatwishwasn'
tgrant
edbecauseNqubekocame
backandsatonthebed.
"Iknowyouhat
[Link]
dhavebeenher
ewi
th
you.I'
m..
..
..
"
"Unlessyouar etel
lingmewher eyouwer epl ease
don'[Link]'twantt oknowhowsor ryyouar e.
Idon'twanttohearhowi tsnotmyf ault
.Idon' t
wantt ohearanythingunl essyouar etell
ingme
wher eyouwer e"Irepli
edwhi lehol
dingt hebl anket
ti
[Link] dn'twantmymi ndt oover
powermyhandsandpul litbackbecauset hatwas
goingtomeanIneededt oseehi sfaceandt hen
l
istentoanythinghewassayi ngwhenIdi dn'twant
[Link] het r
uthaboutwher ehe
was.
"Ineededt
ogosomewhere.
..
..
"Thatwasn'
tthe
answerIwasl
ooki
ngforsoIstoppedhi
m.
"IwishIhaddiedsoyouwouldhavereturnedt
omy
coldbodylyingonthef
loor
"hedidn'
tspeakaft
er
thatandIclosedmyeyeshopingthesi
lencecoul
d
l
astl ongenoughformetofal
lasl
eep.
Chapt
er17
Someonespeaki nginal oudvoicewokemeup.I t
soundedlikemymot herin-
lawbutwhywoul dshe
beyell
ingint heki
tchensoear l
yint hemor
ning?I
wait
edf orfewsecondsbef oreshespokeagain
soundi
ngl ikeshewascomi ngcloser.
"Iknow"Repl
iedNqubekobefor
ehepushedt
he
doorwider
.Itwasreal
lyher
.
"OhMtanami
"sher
ushedt
ohugmeandIhugged
herback.
"
Imadeyousomebr eakf
ast
.Youweresti
llsl
eepi
ng
whenIf
ini
shed"sai
dNqubekostandi
ngatthedoor.
"Bri
ngthatf
[Link]
oeat"she
i
nstruct
edbefor
eshewenttoopenthecurt
ainand
thewindow"Theai
risali
tt
leshar
psoI'
llcl
oseit
soon"
[Link]
opeeand
brushmyteet
h.
"Iknowithurt
sbutyouneedt
obestr
[Link]
willr
ecover
"sheencour
agedwhi
legi
vingmea
smi l
e.
Iwenttobathr
oom anddidmybusinessbefore
goingbacktothebedr
[Link]
therewai
ti
ngandshewasdonemaki ngt hebed.I
wentbacktobedandpickedupt
hepl atebefor
e
eati
ng.
"Youareeati
[Link]"shespokewhenshewal ked
i
nf ol
lowedbyNqubekowhocar r
iedahotwat er
bottl
e"Putt
hatbott
leundert
hebl anket
.Sheneeds
[Link]'
sgoingtost
artraini
ngsoon"
NqubekodidastoldandIcont
inuedt oeatbecause
Iwantedtotakemypill
[Link] eepi
ngI
thoughtl
essaboutthi
sandIdidn'thavetosee
Nqubeko'
sfaceorhearhisvoi
ce.
Sheclosedt hewindowandst ar
tedcompl aining
abouthowbadt heweatherwasi nDur ban.
Nqubekost oodtheref
orami nutebeforehel eft
sayi
ngheneededgoshoppi ngforfewhouset hi
ngs
l
[Link] oreshest ar
tedgi vi
nghi m
thel
istofthingssheneeded.
"
Doyouneedanyt
hing?
"Heaskedwhi
lel
ooki
ngat
me.
"
No"Ir
epl
iedbef
oreput
ti
ngt
hepl
atedown.
"
I'
llbebackwi
thlunch"het
oldhi
smotherbef
orehe
l
[Link]
ookmypil
lsandlai
ddownagai
n.
"Letmet
akethesetot
hekit
chen"sheannounced
befor
eshel
eftwit
hthetr
ay.
Il
aidt
her
eandlist
enedt
omyownhear
tbeatal
ong
wi
ththet
hrobbi
ngofmypai
n.
"
Makoti"shespokewhenshewal [Link]
dn'
t
wantt
ol i
stent
oherbutIneededt oshowhersome
r
espectsoIloweredt
heblanketandlookedather
.
"Youhaven'
tsai
dmuch"shesatdownont hebed"I
knowyouar ei
npainbutIgetaf
eel
ingthatther
eis
[Link]'
sgoingon?Nqubekowon'tsayandyou
don'
tevenlookathi
[Link]?"
Tear
sfil
ledmyeyesandIdidn'
tevengetachance
tobl
inkt
hem awaywhentheystart
edstr
eaming
downmyf ace.
"Whatdidhedo?"Shel
ookedal
armedbefor
ehe
pickedt
heglassofwat
erandhandedi
ttome.
Isi
ppedandswal
lowedbef
oret
ell
ingherever
ythi
ng.
Thevideo,theaccidents,
thedisappeari
ng,Nobuhl
e,
beingcall
edawi tch,hi
sadmi t
tingthecheati
ngand
thenlosi
ngt hepregnancyaloneinthishousewhil
e
Nqubekowasoutt heredoinghisnormal
disappear
ingacts.
"AwkodwaNkosi .HowcouldNqubekodot hi
sto
you?"Sheclappedherhandstogetherbef
oreshe
stoodupandpacedt hefl
oorthreeti
mesandt hen
satdownagai nwhil
eshecontinuedtoaskhow
[Link]
hadnoi deabecausehenevertoldme.
"Soyoucalledthepoli
ceandaskedt
hem t
obr
ing
anambul anceover?
"Sheaskedshewasdone
beingshocked.
"[Link] orsaidthepregnancywasn'tgoingto
bel onganywaybecausei twasn'twhereitwas
supposedt [Link] n.I
thoughtIwasdyi ngwhi l
[Link]
sti
llfeelthepainandseemysel fbleedi
ngont he
fl
oor .Ican'
tgetitoutofmymi ndandhewasn' t
[Link]' tsaywherehewasandIt hinki
t
meanshewaswi t
[Link]'
swhyhewon' tt
ellme
wher
ehewas"
"Howcoul dhedosomet hinglikethis"sheyel led
andforamomentIt houghtshewasyel lingatme." I
tol
dhim overandoveragai nthatheshoul dn'tmarr
y
youifheknowshecan' tt akecar [Link] ol
d
them ever
ydayt hatnothingsaysf ai
lurelikeaman
thatf
ailst
oprotecthiswi [Link] olove
andcar ef
[Link] ssupposedt owor shipyou
andtreatyougoodnothur tyourf eeli
ngsl ikethi
s"
Idi
dn'
trepl
yinst
eadIcl
osedmyeyesandt
ri
edt
o
sl
eep.

*
***
**

Themot heri
n-l
awst ayedwi
thusforfourdays
befor
etheycall
edandsai dsheneededcomehome.
Whenshecamet otellmeshewasleavingIcouldn'
t
hel
[Link]
sIthoughttheywerefi
nall
ydrying
outcameback.
"
Iwantt
ogohomet
oo"If
inal
lysai
ditoutl
oudandI
coul
dseeshewassur
pri
sedbutt
ri
edt
ohi
dei
t.
"That
'[Link]
lyet
.Yousti
llneedto
getsomer estandi
twil
ldoyougoodtobear ound
famil
y"shesmi l
edandhel
dmyhand.
"Imeantmyownhomewi
thmyaunt
sanduncl
es"I
addedaft
eramoment
.
"MaKhumalo"sheletgoofmyhandandl ookedat
me"Iknowthiscan'tbeeasyonyou.I '
vet al
kedto
[Link] l
li
ngtosortt
[Link]
awayyoumi ghtnotbeabletoworkitoutagai n.
Wit
htimeitwillbeharderandharder"
"
That'
sthepr obl
[Link]'tworki
tout"Ididn'
t
wantt
obel eftal
onewithhi
[Link]
madeiteasierbutshewasl
eavingandIdidn'twant
t
ostaybehind.
"Butyoudon'
tknowt
hat
.Youhaven'
tgi
venyour
sel
f
enoughti
me"
"Idon'
[Link]
ustwantt
ogohome!!
"Iyel
led
ather"I
'm sor
[Link]
dn'
tmeantoscr
[Link]
ustwant
togohome"
Shenoddedandl
eftt
her
oom wi
thoutevenl
ooki
ng
backatme.
Istoodupandwentt otheclosetbeforetakingout
mysui t
[Link] i
llunpacked
fr
om thelastti
[Link] heremainingones
notevenbotheri
ngtofoldthem neatly.
Myhear
tal
moststoppedwhenNqubekowal
kedi
n.
Hel
ookedatt
hebagandthenbackatme.
"
Soyouar
eleavi
ng?
"
Idi
dn'
trepl
y.
"
Sothat
'sit?Youar
ejustl
eavi
[Link]
iket
hat
"he
wal
kedcloser.
"Atl
eastyougett
[Link]'
tsneakouton
you"t
hatcameoutshar
pert
henintended.
"
Isai
dI'
m sor
ryThembeka"
"
YeahI
'
m sor
ryt
oo"
"Oneofmydr i
verswasarrest
edfordrugs
[Link] her
eveal
edthat
hehadbeendoi ngitf
orawhileandthathewas
recr
uit
ingmoredriver
sforthi
[Link]
tohelpt hepol icecatchthepersonbehindthe
[Link] 'swhyi'vebeenmeet i
ngthem l
ateat
[Link] ththem whenIl ef
[Link]
abigmi stakeandf orgottotur
nmyphoneon.I
couldn'ttellyouwi t
houtr i
ski
ngeverythi
ngthese
menhavewor kedonf ormonthsalready.I
t'
sabig
case"
IfNqubekotol
dmeal lthisbefor
eeverythi
ngel
seI
wouldhavegladlybeli
[Link]
dhave
admi r
edhimforhelpi
ngoutbutnowi thadnoeffect
[Link]'teventel
lifhewastell
ingmethe
trut
horalie.
"Soyouwon'tsayanyt
hing?"HeaskedwhenI
cont
inuedt
opackmyt hings.
"
Aboutwhat
?"
"
[Link]
ustt
oldyout
het
rut
h!!
"
"Youtol
dmeyou' venevercheatedonmebefore.
ButyouweresleepingwithNobuhleevenaf
terwe
gotmarri
[Link]
ngisyourt hi
[Link] hat
youarenotlyi
ngtomer ightnow?"
"
Nobuhl
ewasami
[Link]
canfi
[Link]
xthisi
salli
'
m askingfor
"
hecouldhavewentdownonhi skneesandcr i
ed
butIknewitwouldn'
thavechangedmymi ndatall
.
"
Fixwhat?Whatexact
lyar
eyougoi
ngt
ofi
x
Nqubeko?"
Hedi
dn'tanswerandIpickeduptheshi
rtIhad
dr
oppedont hef
loorandplacedi
tonthesuit
case.
"Thethi
[Link]
heachl ieyoufeedmeIkeep
buil
dingthi
shappinessinsi
demyheadandt hen
[Link]'
twai
tformoret
han
thi
s"
"
Whatdoyoumean?
"Heasked
"
I'
m goi
nghomeNqubeko.I
'
m notcutoutf
ort
his"
"
Youar
enotcomi
ngback,
areyou?
"
"
That'
stheonl
ytrut
hfult
hingyou'
vesai
dtomeso
f
ar"Izi
ppedupthesuit
case.
Chapt
er18

Nqubeko
Iwai tedunt ilthecarwasoutofmysi ghtbef or e
wal kingbackt [Link] ythingwasqui etli
ke
thehousewast elli
ngmewhati tmeantt ohaveno
[Link]' tusedt ot hisquietnessanymor e.
Bef oreIgotmar rieditwasmyl ifeandIl ovedi t
,
afterget t
ingmar ri
edi tbecameherhomeandshe
wasneversi [Link] lence
agai [Link]' tsur eifshewasawar ebutwheni t
wasn' tther adi ooni twasherhummi ngqui etlyto
somesongi [Link] sitwasl i
kethat
andt heni tdieddownsoqui cklyaf terPat ri
cia
answer edmyphonei [Link] tnever
camebackevenaf terwewer ebacki ntot al
kingand
actingl ikeanor malcoupl [Link] i
kesomeone
hadgonei nsideherandswi tchedacer tainbut t
on
[Link] tackf rom Nobuhl ekilledthel i
ghti nher
eyesandt hemi scar r
iageki l
ledever ythinginher .
Mymot hersai dshewi llhealandcomehomebut
somet hingaboutt hewayshespoket hatsaidshe
waswr ong.I 'm notawomanexper tbutt hereisa
tonet hatwomanusewhent heyar etestingyouout
andadiffer
entonewhentheyar
edonewit
hthe
bull
shi
[Link]'
stonesai
dshewasdonewit
h
thebul
lshit
.
"Iwantout
"Ispoket
hemomentCr
aiganswer
edhi
s
phone.
"We'vebeent
hroughthi
[Link]'tpulloutnow.
Notwhenwear ethi
sclose"heansweredcarel
essl
y
becausehewasn'tt
heonel osi
nghi
swi f
e.
"Thembekalef
[Link]
scar
ri
agewashar
donher
andsheleft
!!
"
"Youcan' tputt
[Link]
oldyoutotel
lhert
he
[Link]'Iwanttopr
otecther
'
mi ssionyouchosetohi
deit
"Iwantedtostr
angl
e
him.
"
[Link]
lyourwi
feever
ythi
ng
t
hatyouar
einvolvedi
n?!
!"
"Ah,wel
[Link]
smyj obsoIdon'tneed
totel
lanythi
[Link] heri
sk
andItoldyourepeat
edlyt
hattel
lherthet
[Link]
knowifyouspokeupshewoul dn'
thavebeli
eved
Nobuhleconfessi
[Link]
edita
bluf
fbecauseyouaret
oobusytobecheat
ing"he
repl
iedr
udelybef
orehehungup.
Iwantedt opunchhi [Link] hewal landbr eak
somet hingbutmostofal lIwant edtopuni shmysel f
forrui
ningmyownmar r
[Link]' tlyi
ng
aboutallthi
sbei ngmyf [Link] heonecal l
ing
Nobuhl eandthinkingshei sgoingt okeepher
mout hshutaboutt heaffair
.Shehadnobusi ness
att
[Link] '
st heprobl em with
[Link] tthem downandt ellthem ther ules
sotheydon' tr
[Link], womenwi l
ldo
exactl
ywhatyout oldthem nott odo.
Itriedhernumberandi
trangtwi cebef
oreshe
rejectedt
hecall
.Shewasignoringmeonpur pose.I
tri
edThembeka'sphoneanditrangt ovoi
cemail
.It
didn'tsur
pri
[Link]
anyway.
Mynextcal
lwentt
oKhethel
oandheanswer
ed
af
tert
hefi
rstr
ingl
ikehewasready.
"Ihaveabottl
ethatneedopeni
ng.I
'm comi
ngther
e"
heof f
eredandIalmostl
aughedbecauseheknew
exact
lywhatIneeded.
"
Thankman"
"
Shar
p"hehungup.

*
***
**

Khethel
oarrivedaft
eranhourwit
hMzamo,
Thuba
[Link]
twasjustgoi
ngt
obeusbuthe
broughtateam.
"
Gent
s"
"Weheardthewif
elef
[Link]
etohelpyou
drownyoursor
rows"sai
dThubarai
singacaseof
beer.
IlookedatKhethel
oandhemurmured'
sorr
y'I
thoughtgossi
pingwasforwomennotmen.
"Whatdi
dyoudo?
"AskedMzamoal
readyhol
dinga
glass
IlookedatKhet
hel
obecausei
twashisfaul
tthat
thiswashappeni
[Link]
nesstel
li
ng
t
hem mypr
obl
ems.
"I
twasami sunderst
anding"Irepli
edbeforegoi
ng
tothekit
[Link] tfeltl
ikeIwouldsee
herstandi
ngnearthesinkwashi ngdisheswhil
e
hummi ngsomesongIcoul dn'
tmakeout .
"Nobuhl
eisnotamisunderst
[Link]
ed
andshechunkedyourass"saidVusisoundi
ngli
ke
hewasalreadydr
unk.
"
Gent
[Link]"sai
dKhet
hel
o
"
Buti
tst
[Link]
edandshel
eft
"pr
essedVusi
.
"Don'
tyouthi
nkIknowt
hat
?"Iaskedwhi
lewal
king
backtothem
"[Link]
ngweshoul
dn'
t
actli
keyouhadnoideaitwascomingt
othi
[Link]
cheatedwi
thyoureyeswideopen"
"
Stopi
tVusi
"sai
dMzamoprobabl
yfear
ingt
hatI
wassocl
osetohur
ti
ngVusi
.
"
Didn'
tIwarnhim?Whenyouwokeupanddeci ded
t
ogetmar ri
edtoagirlhal
[Link]
nedyou
[Link] ol
dyoudon'tdoi
t.
Sor
[Link]
enotget
ti
nganysympat
hyf
rom
me"
"Iwasn'
texpect
ingone"Ir
epl
iedbef
oresi
tt
ing
downwithmyowndr i
nk.
"Good"heneededt
[Link]
ded
toleti
[Link]'
texact
lyl
yingaboutitbei
ngmy
ownf aul
t.
"Whatexact
lyhappened?IsawthevideoNobuhl
e
spi
tti
ngonher"askedThubaclear
lynotwanti
ngto
l
etthi
sgo.
Khet
helodi
dn'tcomet
otherescuet
hist
ime.I
nfact
t
heyalll
ookedatmeexpect
ingmetoconti
nue.
"
Doesn'
tmatt
[Link]
nti
sshepackedupand
l
eft
"Ir
epli
ed
"Didn'
tsheleavebef
oreandyouranafterher
?"
[Link] ookedatKhet
[Link]
thereanyt
hinghedidn'
tpassontothem behi
ndmy
back.
"Youknowhei
sagossiper
.Hetol
duseveryt
hing.
Eventhedr
ugi
[Link]"sai
dThuba
l
ikei
twasnobi
gdeal
.
"Andyoudidn'
tpassitalongtoother
?"Onewor
dto
wrongpeopleIwasruinedbigti
[Link]
o
beaprivat
ething.
"Whatdoyoutakeusfor?It
oldyoutoputanendto
i
tbutyouand'i'
m marri
ednow'[Link]
aigand
hispetwoul
dn'
tbetreat
ingyouli
keayingyang"
saidMzamo.
"What
'sayingyang?
"AskedKhet
hel
[Link]
llooked
athi
m expect
ingananswer
.
"Idon'
[Link]
ikesomethingyoupulland
pushatwill
.That'
snotthepoint
.Thepointis,we
couldhavehelpedyousortt
hismessqui ckl
ybefor
e
youwereforcedintosomeundercovershitwit
ha
bunchofboys"
"It
oldyouitwasn'
[Link]
hingIwant
Thembekat ot
hinkofwhenlookingatmei s
murderer
"evensayingitmademybl oodruncol
d.
"Shel
ostt
hebabyaft
eryoursi
dechi
ckatt
ackedher
.
Youareal
readyaki
ll
erman"sai
dThuba.
"
Itwasanectopi
[Link]
dn'
tevenshe
waspregnant
"Iexpl
ained
"Ect
opic?[Link] sterwentthrought
hat
shealmostdi
ed.I
fthepregnancyruptureitamatt
er
ofli
feanddeat
h"saidVusishakinghi
shead.
"AndIwasn'tt
her
[Link]
onewheni
t
happened"
"
Wherewereyou?Don'
tyoudarel
ieandsayyou
werewi
thCrai
[Link]'
ttel
lmeyouwerewit
h
Nobuhl
e"
Idi
dn'
tseet
heneedt
oanswert
hatone.
"
[Link] eyousulki
ng?Youmade
t
[Link]
dyou?
"ShoutedVusi
"
Ididn'tdoanythingwit
[Link]'teven
t
[Link] or
gotmyphoneandThembekacal l
ed"I
wasn'teventhatfarwhenIsawt heambulanceand
t
hepol icefl
yingpastme.I
fIhadknownt heywere
r
ushingt omyownhomeIwoul dhavefollowed.
"
Whatdidyoutel
lherwhensheasked?"Asked
Khet
hel
[Link]
m anannoyedlookbuthedidn'
t
backdown.
"IcamecleanaboutCr
aigandt
hedr
[Link]
ean
versi
on"
"
Andshedi
dn'
tbuyi
t?"AskedThuba.
"No"Idi
dn'
texpl
ainthatshedidn'
tbuyi
tbecausei
t
camelateandI'
veli
edbefore.
"Sowhatnow?
"AskedVusinol
ongerpi
cki
nguphi
s
glass.
"
Ineedtosortoutt
hismesswi
thCr
aigt
hengoget
mywifeback"
"
Yout
hinkshei
scomi
ngback?
"AskedThuba.
Ishothi
m awar
ninggl
anceandhopedhet
ooka
hint
.
"Youwon'tki
llmewi
tht
hatlookandyouknowi t
.Do
youreal
lythi
nkshei
scomingback?"Hepressed
"Il
oveher"admi
tt
edandKhet
hel
osl
owl
ytur
nedhi
s
headtowardsme
"
Sincewhen?Don'
tli
[Link]'
t
marryherf
orl
[Link]
'sbul
lshi
tyouf
edever
yone
whoasked"
"
Iloveher
"
"Bef
oreoraft
ershedancedont
hetabl
esshowing
herpant
[Link]
hem wi
ld"sai
d
Mzamobef oret
heyl
aughed.
"I
tsamiracl
eyoudi
dn'tburstavei
[Link]
wait
ingf
oryourcal
lsayi
ngyou'vebeatenhertoa
coma"saidKhet
hel
ostil
llaughi
ng
"Whenshecamehomeshef eltsogui
lt
yIcoul
dn'
t
evenbr
ingi
[Link]
dedt
ol etit
"
"Becauseyouwer escrewingNobuhleont
hesi de.
Herflashingherundiesisnot
hingcomparedtoyou
fucki
ngsomeonebehi ndherback"sai
dVusiasif
hewasenj oyi
ngremindi
ngmehowIwas
responsiblefort
hismess.
"Iknow"Ist
oodupandwentt [Link] r
ied
Nobuhleandagainsherej
ect
edt [Link]
ed
MaKhumal oanditwentst
rai
ghttovoicemai [Link]
ied
mymot herandsheansweredafterawhi l
[Link]
spokeforawhil
ebecauseshewasst illinthecar
andshesaidThembekawasasl [Link] omisedto
cal
laft
eranhourhopi
ngshewouldhaveconvi
nced
hert
ostaywit
hthem andnotendt
hismarri
age.
"
Nqubeko"sai
dVusibehi
ndme.
It
urnedandl
ookedathi
m.
"I
[Link]
needtogetupandsor toutt
hismessbef or
e
someoneel ser
eplacesyou"Ididn'
ttel
lVusithatI
wentthroughherphoneandt herewasKwanel e
sendi
ngmessages.I twasonl yamatterofti
me
befor
eshest ar
tedreturni
nghisatt
enti
on.
"Thanksman"t
hat
'sal
lisai
dbef
oremyphone
vibr
ated.
Iwaitedunti
lhewentbackt
othel
oungebef
ore
ret
urningthecal
l.
"
Nombuso"
"
Thembekaisnotanswer
ingmycal
lsorr
etur
ning
mytext
"shespokewit
houtgr
eet
ing
"BecauseshesawyouandPhumeleleafteryoul
ied
aboutbeingsi
ckandshel
iedaboutvisi
ti
ngf ami
l
y"
"
Oh,
ihadnoi
dea"shesoundedshockedandshe
hadeveryr
ightt
[Link]
rbehavi
our
meanttheendofpayment
.
"[Link] ri
endshi
pi sf
ini
shed"
Partofmewasstil
lvi
ndicti
vethatNombusot ol
d
Thembekaaboutsomeoneanswer ingmyphone.
Shehadnobusinesssayinganythi
ngaboutthat.
"
Butcan'
tyout
alkt
oher
?"
"No.I'
lltr
ansferhalfoft
hepayment
.Youl adi
eswil
l
spli
titinhalforwhateverwayyoul
[Link]'
tbe
needingyourser vi
cesanymore"
"
Justl
iket
hat
?"
"[Link]
[Link]
y
askedyout obefr
iendherbutyoudi
dmor ethan
[Link]'tbeneedi
ngthefri
endshi
panymor e"
"
Doessheknowt
hatyouwer
epayi
ngust
obeher
f
ri
ends?
"
"Noandyouwon' ttel
lherbecausewebothknow
youenjoybeingali
ve.I'
l
lsendyouthatmoneyand
thenyouforgetweeverspokebehindmywife'
s
back"Iendedthecall
.
"Soyoupaidthosegi
rl
stobeherfr
iend?
"Asked
Thubalooki
ngatmewi t
hsuchjudgementi
nhis
eyes.
"
Shewaslonel
yandnotmaki
ngfr
iends"isentt
he
moneybef
oreput
ti
ngmyphoneback.
"
Soyouboughtt
hem?
"
"Soshecoul
dhaveali
febesi
debei
ngjustawi
fe"i
t
annoyedmethathewasj
[Link]
dwhat
neededtobedoneatt
heti
me.
Chapt
er19

"Soshei
ssl
eepi
ng?"Iaskedmymotheront
hel
ine.
Theywer
ehomealr
eadyandIhadgivenher
enought
imet
osett
ledownbefor
eIcall
ed.
"Yes.I
twasrai
ningandcoldwhenwear ri
vedsoI
beggedhertoatleastst
ayonenighther
eand
tomorrowshecangohome"r epl
iedmymot her
soundingt
ir
ed.
"Sontoist
her
e?"Idi
dn'
twanthert
obesl
eepi
ng
alone.
"[Link] l
[Link]'tknowwhyyou
careabouthersl eepi
ngalonewhenyou' vebeen
l
eavingheral oneallt
histi
me"shesnappedandmy
heartsankbecauseshewasr i
[Link]
eaveher
aloneseveraltimeswhilemeetingwi t
[Link]
problem wast hatnowshewasconvi ncethatIwas
outcheating.
"
I'
m sor
ryma"t
hatwasal
lIcoul
dsay.
"[Link]
[Link]
promisedtotr
eatherbett
ert
[Link]
meandever yoneel
[Link] seyou've
beendoingtothepoorwoman"shesoundedso
bit
teri
tmademef eelevenworse.
"[Link]
needissometi
[Link]"Ibeggedhopingshecan
tryt
oconvi
ncehertostayatleastwi
[Link]
washomewi t
hmyf amilyIst
oodachance.
"Fixwhat?Thereisnothi
ngtofi
xNqubeko.I '
m
disappoint
[Link]
thoughtyouofallpeoplewoul
ddosomet hingli
ke
this"Icoul
dhearthatshewasstar
ti
ngt ocry.
"I
'
m goi
ngtobeagoodhusbandt
oher
.I'
l
ldobet
ter
.
Ipromi
se"
"Doingbet t
erwon'tmat t
[Link] uineda
goodper [Link] ?Forawomanwhohasno
problem Insul
ti
nganot [Link] hevi deo
andIcan' timaginethekindofpainsheisf eel
ing
andt henyoudi sappeartogotothesamewoman
l
eavinghert odeal wit
hthatpai
nal one.I
st hatwhat
youcal lbei
ngagoodhusband? !
!"Sheyelled
"
No"
"Youonlyhaveyoursel
ftobl
[Link]
fai
lednowletherhealandmoveonwit
hherlif
e"
shehungupaf t
erthat.
Shedidn'
thavetotel
lmeaboutit
.Iknewdamnwel l
i
twasahugemessandIwant edtofi
[Link]
lI
neededfr
om them wastokeephert
herewit
hthem
forawhil
[Link]
iedherphoneagai
nanditwasoffso
Itr
iedSont
o.
"
Yes"hert
onet
oldmeshewasal
sopi
ssed.
"
Isshest
il
lsl
eepi
ng?
"
"
Yesbuti
fyoukeepcal
li
ngyouwillwakeherupand
Mahsaysshedoesnot
hingbutcr
y"shewas
r
ubbi
ngiti
n.
"
Soyouhaven'
tspokent
ohersi
nceshear
ri
ved?
"
"[Link]
aightt
obedwhentheyar
ri
ved"
shewassnappyandIneededtoendthi
scallbef
ore
shestar
tedt
ell
ingmemybusiness.
"
Canyoumakesur esheeat
sandt
akeher
medi
cat
[Link]
ease"
"
Sur
e"
Webothwentqui
etf
orf
ewsecondsbef
oreshe
spokef
ir
st.
"ByeNqubeko"shehungupandIt hrewthephone
ont hebedbeforegoi
ngt otheki
[Link]
nothingIneededspeci
ficbutthi
swast hepartof
thehouseshewasal [Link] i
rstt
imeshe
wentoutwi t
hNombusoshecamebackanddanced
i
nt hekit
[Link]
rstt
imeeverIsawwhatwas
missinginmyl i
tt
lewif
[Link] oexperi
ence
theoutsideworl
dawayf rom meandIdi dthat
.Vusi
andMzamosai ditwascruelbutKhethel
o
underst
[Link]'tmaki
ng
fri
endsonherownandsheneededsomeonet odo
thi
[Link]
dwhatIf
eltwasrightatt
heti
me.

*
***
**
Itr
iedagai
nandthephoneactuall
yrangbeforet
he
cal
lwascutofandthenitwenttovoicemai
l.
"HeyMaKhumal [Link] eyoufeel
ing?Beent r
ying
tocallyouandIf i
guredyouar epr
obablysleeping.
Pleasesendmeamessagewhenyoucant alkso
wecant [Link] ni'
m sorr
y"I
pausedf orasecondandf orthatmomentIr eal
ly
wishedshehadanswer edmycal l
.Alit
tl
ebitof
hopewaswhatIneeded.
"[Link] oolandIhatehowyou
[Link]
oveyou"Iendedt hecal
lafterthat
andplacedt hephoneont hepill
owbeforestari
ngat
theceil
[Link] hephonevibratedIj
umpedup
hopingshewasf i
nall
ysendingmet hattextbutit
wasNobuhl ecal
li
ng.
"
Whatdoyouwant
?"Iasked
"I
'
m outsi
[Link]
easeopent
hegat
eforme"she
soundedimpat
ient
.
"Idon'
tthi
[Link]
?"Idi
dn'
tmove.
Shewasdonehi di
ngaft
erthi
smessshecr
eat
ed.
"I
fyoudon'topenformei '
l
lstar
tmakingsome
noiseandhaveyourneighbourscal
lthepoli
ce.I
'
m
suretheywouldbeint
erestedonwant i
ngtoknow
whyIwasst andi
ngoutsideyourhomeal most
fr
eezingwhil
edressedinat r
enchcoat"
"
Wewi l
ltel
lthem youar
einsane"mybodyreacted
t
othethoughtofherinatr
enchcoatbutIdi
dn'tlet
t
hatdest
ructme.
"[Link]"shescr
eamedloudenoughf
or
met ohearandprobabl
ysomeoneelsei
nthe
neighbour
s.
Iendedt hecallbeforegett
ingupandwentt othe
opent [Link] kedbacktohercarand
droveinbeforeIclosedt hegateagainandwent
[Link] kedinafteraminuteandshe
wasr eall
ydressedi natrenchcoatwhichshe
begant otakeoffthemomentshecl osedthedoor
.
Onadif
ferentdayIwouldhavejumpedherbecause
shewasreall
yfinebutIwastoorawtoevenmove.
"Ihear
dyouwer
elooki
ngf
[Link]
hemi
ssed
call
saswell
"
"Theonlyreasonwhyyouar estil
lali
veisbecauseif
youturnupdeadI 'l
lbethefi
[Link]
awareofthatright?
"Iaskedbeforeturningar
ound
towalktothekitchen.
"
[Link]
hknowIl
ovedanger
"she
f
oll
owed
"Buti fyouhaveacaracci dentsayinthenextf i
ve
mi nutesafterleavingthishouseandt heydosome
test sonyouandt heyfindsomet hi
ngt heydon't
knowi nyoursyst em noonewi llbeasuspectaf t
er
allyoudi edfrom dr uguseandl ostcontroloft
he
car .Drugsanddr ivingdoesn'tevenrhyme"
Shedi dn'
thaveacomebackandIopenedthe
fri
dgebeforetaki
ngoutthej
uiceandr
eachedf
or
theglassinthecupboar
d.
"
Youwoul
dn'
tdar
e"
"[Link]
ti
ngmywi f
e
whilelookingli
[Link]
youar eint
odr ugswhentheyseetheproofri
ght
there?"Ipouredforusbot
hbef or
epushingthe
glasstowar dsher.
"Ki
ll
ingmewon'thel
[Link]
sn'
tcomingback"
sherepl
iedbef
oreshepi
ckeduphergl
ass.
"
That'
swher
eyouar ewr
[Link]
edone.
Dri
nkupandleavemyhouse"
"Done?Wecan' tbedoneNqubeko"sheswal
loweda
mouthfulandIturnedbef
orepouri
ngmyownj ui
ce
downt hedrai
n.
"
Yeswear
e"
Shelookedatmeandt henbackattheglasst
hat
wasnowhal [Link]
d
thet
ableforsupport
.
"
Whatdi
dyoudo?
"
"
Weagreedthatyouwi l
lrespectmeandmy
mar
ri
ageNobuhl [Link] ightt
ocal
lmywife
awi
[Link]'tbewi
[Link]
[Link] l
iat
eherli
ket his?Ifyouhad
goneandexposedmef orcheati
ngIwoul dn'thave
caredbutyouatt
[Link] heref orher
[Link]
headandyoudecidetogoandr uinitforher .For
what?"
Shedi dn'
[Link] ngf
or
airandstruggl
ingtostandupst
raight
.If
oldedmy
armsandl [Link]
ti
tudewasgone,
replacedbyfear.
"Idi
dn'
tli
ewhenIsaidther
eisalineyouar
enot
supposedtocr
[Link]"
Sheopenedhermouthandt
ri
edt
osaysomet
hing
butt
hevoicedi
dn'
tcomeout.
"I
'
m offt
obed.I'
llburyyourbodyinmybackyar
d
befor
esunr
ise"Iwalkedaroundherandkept
walki
ngwhenshewaswhi speri
ngsomethi
ng.

*
***
*
Ist
ayedi
nthebedr
oom f
or10mi
nut
esexact
ly
befor
egoi
ngbacktotheki
[Link]
llt
her
e
al
readyst
art
ingt
olookpal
eandherl i
pst
urni
ng
bl
ue.
"[Link]
waitt
il
lmorni
[Link]
hinkIneedtostar tdi
ggi
ng
alr
eadybef
oreyourotallovermykitchen"
"Pl
e..
..
.ase...
..
Nquuubbbe.
..
.ko.I
..
..
.won'
twon'
t
eeeeevvvveeeeeer
rrr
..
."
"Ofcauseyouwon'
[Link]
esdon'
[Link]
staydeadandbur
ied"
Shecoul
dn'
tevencryandIwant
edhert
onever
for
gett
[Link]
.
"YouspitonotherpeopleNobuhl [Link] di
t
becausedeepinsideyouar ebitt
erandyoucoul dn'
t
[Link] edtohumili
ate
[Link]
.Youar eluckyIdidn'tfi
ndyou
thatni
[Link] [Link]
thoughtwhynothideforfewdaysandt urnupinmy
[Link]
llwanttobr eakyourneckbut
thiswil
ldotoo"
Hereyescl
osedandf
ewdr
opsoft
ear
sexi
tedher
[Link] swast hetimefor
met ogettheblanketsoIleftheraloneand
retur
nedwiththeblanketjustinti
mewhenshewas
start
ingt
odr [Link] eaki
ngout
[Link] eshewascover edupbefore
turni
ngtheli
ghtsoffandIwentt omyownbed.

*
***
***
**

Shel ookedsobeaut i
ful
.Shewaswal kingup
straightandwal ki
ngt [Link]
pacewant i
ngt oreachherquickerbutsuddenlyshe
stoppedwal kingandt hebeauti
fulsmilewasgone.I
calledoutbutshewasf aci
ngawayf r
om me.
Someoneel sewascal l
ingher
.Itr
iedharderbutmy
voicedi dn'
tevenr eachbeyondmyownf ace.
"Youfai
led"someonesnappedandIwokeup
almostf
alli
ngoffthebed.
Myheadt hr
obbedandmyeyesf eltl
iket
heywere
ful
lofdustandst
onesbutIsti
llf
orcedmyselft
ogo
checkonNobuhlejusti
ncaseshediedforreal
whileIwassl [Link]
lther
esnoringa
bitundert heblanket
.Shewasgoi ngtoli
vebutit
wasal essonjustincaseshetri
edtodoublecross
meagai [Link]
ll
edaglasswi t
hwaterandplacediton
thefloornexttoherbef or
egoingbacktobed.
Theclocksaiditwasaf ter4am soIreachedf
ormy
phonehopingt oatleasthaveatextmessagefrom
herbuttherewasnot [Link]
ri
edhernumberagain
andthisti
mei trangandhervoicecameon.
"
Hel
lo"
"Thembeka"Iwassosurpr
isedmyhear
twas
slammingpainf
ull
yagai
nstmychest
.
"
What
?"
"I
'm gl
adyouanswer [Link],i'
m [Link]
I'
vesaidthi
sbeforeandi t
'spr
obabl yst
arti
ngto
annoyyoubutIcanf ixthi
[Link]
'm aski
ngf ori
sa
[Link] o"
Shedi dn'
treplyandIwaitedbecausethecallwas
sti
[Link]'
[Link] hersecond
ti
ckedbyandt herewasstil
lsi
lencei
nt heotherend.
"[Link]
ktome"Ibeggedandwai t
ed.
Aftersever
alsecondsIli
stenedcar ef
ull
yandheard
herbreathi
[Link] [Link]
y
answer edt
hephonei nhersleepandwentbackt o
sleep.
"Baby"Itr
iedagainhopi ngtobewr [Link]
metbyherbr eathingandt henSonto'ssnoresnext
[Link]'
tbothercontinui
ngtot al
kbecauseI
wasgoi ngtodrainherbat t
eryoutanywaysoI
endedthecallandcl osedmyeyest osleep.

*
***
***
*
"Youbur
sted"cursedNobuhl
ewhenshefi
nal
ly
camebacktoliveandfoundher
sel
fal
iveont
he
kit
chenf
loor.
"Dri
nkup.I
twi l
lmakeyoufeelbet
ter"Ipushedthe
glassofwat
erclosert
[Link]
backatme" Youarest
il
lal
ive.I
fImeantt oreal
lyki
ll
you,youwil
lbedead"
Sheseemedtothi
nkaboutt
hisbefor
esher
eached
fort
heglassanddr
ankthewateri
nonego.
"
Whatdi
dyoudot
ome?
"
"Iwantedtoshowyout hatIam capabl
eofsil
enci
ng
[Link]'
llcl
oseyourmouth
permanentl
y"Iturnedandwashedmyhandsont he
sinkbefor
epreparingmybreakfast
.Shestayed
sil
entonthefl
oorwhi l
eImovedar oundandonly
stoodupwhenIwasdoneandheadi ngt
othedini
ng
room.
Shefoll
owedaft
ersti
llcover
ingher
selfwi
ththe
bl
anket.I
twasgoingtotakeawhilebefor
eshewas
backtoherol
dself.
"SoIshouldwalkawayandneverl
ookback?
"She
askedbeforeshesatdown.
"
Whydi
dyoudoi
t?"
"Whatexactl
yareyoubl
amingmef
or?Forthe
conf
rontat
ion?Idi
dn'
tcauset
hemi
scarr
iage"
"
[Link]
ontati
[Link]
dyoudot hat
?"
WhenIlookedathershequi
ckl
ylookedaway.
Shedi
dn'
trepl
y.
"
Itol
dyour
epeat
edl
ythatIdi
dn'
twantyou
anywher enearher
.Youwer efi
newiththisNobuhle.
ItoldyouIwasmar ryi
ngherandyout oldmeyou
didn'twanttobemar r
[Link] e
supposedt [Link] ed
l
ikeachi l
[Link]?"
Agai
nshedi dn'
trepl
yandi
tmademeevenmore
angr
ybecauseshehadgoneandrui
nedmyli
fefor
nocl
earreason.
"
Forwhat
?!!
"Ishout
edandshej
umpedabi
t
"MaybeIr eal
izedIdidn'
twantt obei
nt heshadows
anymor [Link] ngar
oundlikeli
fe
wasal lperf
ectwhil
ei twasn'
[Link]
redofbeinga
glor
if
iedsidechick"sherepli
edquickl
y
"Andyoucouldn'
tdumpme?Whybr i
ngmywi f
eint
o
theaff
air
?[Link]
edwhy
didn'
tyoutel
lmetogetlostandleaveheral
one?"
"BecauseIl
[Link]
sti
llandwentandmarri
edheranyway!
!"
"
Soyouthoughti
fyouat
tackherI'
l
lsuddenl
yst
op
l
ovi
ngherandloveyoui
nstead?
"
"[Link] hknowt hi
sandf or
whateverreasonyouwanthert [Link] i
xingwhat
youcouldn'tfi
[Link] standifshe
comesbackwecant r
ytoworki [Link]
l
eastwewi llallbeint
hesamel [Link]
lknow
aboutmel ikeIknewabouther"IstaredatNobuhle
andforthef i
rstti
meIeverIsawwhyKhet helotol
d
meshewasst upi
[Link]
hebeaut yandyouar e
l
eftwithaf ool.
"[Link]
wist
[Link]
oveherandbecausei'
m
selfi
shIj
ustwantedt
okeepfucki
ngyouont he
side"
"
Youkeept
ell
ingyour
sel
fthat
"repl
iedar
rogant
ly
"[Link] eagr eatfuckbecauseThembeka
wasn'texper
iencedandIdi dn'
twanttoscareheroff
withmysexualappet i
[Link]
werewi l
li
ngandr eadywhenever .Iwassostupid.I
shouldhavefocusedonherl ackofexperi
enceand
spendallmyni ghtsteachingherhowt ofuckl
ikea
pornstar
"
Shedi
dn'
tsayanyt
hingandIr
emember
edmyf
ood
soIfocusedont hatforamoment .Shesatt her
e
[Link] eenought otel
lif
shewast hi
nkingaboutawayt ogetbackat
[Link] call
ystrongshewoul d
haveatt
ackedmeal r
eadybutsheknewi twasn't
easysoshewasgoi ngfortheemot i
onaltarget
.
"What?"Iaskedaft
ershekeptl
ooki
ngatmeand
thenbacktot heTVbutshewasn'
tfocusedont
he
TV.
"Iwonder
ingaboutsomet
[Link]
phone?"
Ipointedt
hetablewher
eherthingssatwai
ti
ngfor
[Link]
ypart
lybecauseofthe
musclepainandalsosoIcouldseehernakedbody
asshewal kedovert
othet
[Link]
upt obehorny.
Ist
oodupandt ooktheplat
ebacktothekit
chen
bef
orecomingbacktofindherst
il
lst
andingther
e
andlooki
ngatherphone.
"
Don'
tfor
gettotakeyourcoatandcal
lfort
ranspor
t
t
oavoi
ddrivi
[Link]'twantyoucausingand
acci
dentanddr
ugst
akingthebl
ame"Iaddedbef
ore
taki
[Link]
ogomeetupwi t
h
Crai
gandmaybehehadgoodnewsf orme.
"Al
readyr
equest
edar [Link]
eissomethi
ngI
rememberedl
astnightwhileshi
ver
ingonthef
loor
thi
nkingi
'
m dyi
[Link]
t
doesmakesense"
"
What
?"
"Doyour ememberthatni
ghtwhenyousuddenly
hadt hi
[Link] eact
uall
y
tal
kinginyoursl
eepandyouwokeupanddeci ded
youwant edtocomehomet oyourwif
e?"
InoddedbutIdidn'
trememberatal
[Link]
baddreamst hatmademewanttoseemywi f
e's
faceandtouchherbody.
"Youwer eactual
lysayingsomethi
nginthatdream.
Idon'tremembert heexactwordsbutyou
ment i
onedThembekaandhowsor r
yyouwer [Link]
i
[Link] orygoi
ngaroundinyour
vil
[Link]
onandi t
'[Link]
andyouar ewhateveranimalthatki
ll
edtheli
onand
mar r
[Link] IwrongNqubeko?Myr i
deis
here"shegri
nnedbeforepickeduphercoatand
openedthedoor.
Chapt
er20

"Ican'
ttakethatchance"ItoldMlulekiasIranto
[Link]'thaveNobuhleblackmail
ingme
[Link] orywasgrowingbackhome.I t
wasonl yamat teroft i
mebeforesomeone
connectedthewr ongdotsandruineveryt
hing.I
couldn'
tletNobuhl eevengetachancet odig
deeperorwhi spert hi
stoanyoneelse.
"Sowhatar
eyougoingtodo?"Heaskedsoundi
ng
l
ikehewaseati
[Link]
dhereall
yhaveto
chewwhil
espeaki
ng?
"I
'
llt
alkt
oyoulater"Iendedthecal
landthrewthe
[Link]'
tl
etherdothi
st ome.
Notnow.
Itt
ookmeexactly15minutestogett
oher
apart
mentandImadesur etogoupusingtheback
entr
[Link]
it
ycamer awasbrokenandi
t
wasgoi ngt otakethatlazypigmont hstof i
[Link]
guywassl oppybutever ydisadvantageofthe
si
tuat ionisalwaysanadvant aget [Link] s
ti
mei twasmi [Link] i
rst
stair
casebef orepretendingtobecomi ngbackf rom
[Link] yandIwentt o
Nobuhl e'
sdoorbef orepushingi topenwithout
knocki [Link] tti
ngont hecouchwi thabot tl
e
ofwi neont [Link] earl
ydr i
nking
strai
ghtf rom thebot t
le.
"[Link]
lcomerunni
ng"shegr
inned
beforeputdownt
hephone.
"Youwantedmetocome"Isatdownacr
ossher"
So
youwon'tpouradr
inkf
orme?"
"
Whyshoul
dI?Yout
ri
edt
oki
llme"
"ButIdidn'
[Link] eoutofli
neandneededsome
punishment .I
tsharmless"Ismil
edatherbut
Nobuhlewasn' [Link]'
tfoolherwi
tha
smile.
"
Butt
[Link]
'snotahar
mless
r
umour"sher
aisedhereyebr
ows.
"Am Igett
ingaglassornot
?"Iavoi
dedherquest
ion.
Icouldseethatherphonewasrecor
dingt
he
conversat
ion.
"Well
.Aglasswon'tdoanyhar m"shest oodupand
[Link] othe
kit
chenIpull
edmymygunandputt hesilencerin
placebef
oreplaci
ngitunderthecushi [Link]
backwithaglassandmadesur etopourt hewi ne
formebeforeholdi
ngtheglasst owardsme.I
l
ookedatherandshesmi led.
"
Whydon'
tyout
ast
eitf
ir
[Link]
p"Ichal
lenged.
"Youthi
nkIpoi
sonedyou?That'
smoreofyourst
yle
notmine"sher
oll
edhereyesbutdi
dn'
tdr
inkthe
wine.
"I
fit
'
ssaf
ethenwhynotdr
inki
tyour
sel
f?Havea
si
p"
"Youreal
lyneedtostopbei
nguptight
.I'
m nota
kil
ler
"shelaughedbutIdi
dn'
[Link]
ng.
"
Thendri
nkit
"Ipul
ledoutmygunandhereyes
wentwi
de.
"
Nqubeko"
"
Isai
ddr
inki
t"Idemanded
Sheraisedtheglasssl
owlybutshedroppedit
befor
ei tcoul
dreachherl
[Link]
confi
rmat i
onthatshewastryi
ngtodrugme.
Webot
hlookedatt
hebr
okengl
assont
hef
loor
.
"It
snotanythi
[Link]
feelwhatIfel
[Link] epton
thefl
oorbecauseofyou"sheyel l
edt r
yingt
oremain
calm buthermaskwasal readysli
pping.
"Si
t"Ipoint
[Link]
he
doorcalcul
ati
ngifshecoul
dout r
unmebutwebot h
knewshecoul dn'
t."
Sit
"Ir
epeated.
Shesatdownsl
owl
yandcr
ossedherl
egs.
"
Youwantthet
rut
h?"Isatonthecof
feet
abl
eto
makesur
eshewasthereinfr
ontofme.
"I
[Link],Iwasj
ust
bluf
fi
ngearli
er"shef
akedalaugh.
"
Didn'
tsoundl
ikeabl
ufft
ome"
Shelookedatthet
ableandt
henhereyeswentover
theopposi
tecouchbefor
eshegl
ancedtowar
dsthe
kit
chen.
"
Youf
orgotyourphonei
ntheki
tchen"
"
CanIgogeti t?Ineedt
ot extmysist
erf
ir
st"she
l
[Link]
ewasabadl i
[Link]
er
weren'
teventalki
ngtoeachother
.
"
Shecanwai
[Link]
het
rut
h?"
Shenodded.
"Idi
dn'tj
ustwakeupanddeci dedtokil
lThembeka'
s
parent
[Link]'
tsayparentsbecauseat
theti
meIhadnoi deawhot heywereandImet
them i
ndiff
erentplacesunderdiff
erent
cir
cumstances"
"
[Link]
s20year
syoungert
hanyou"
"WhenThembekaaskedIl iedandsai dthecubwas
myexandt hati
twasal [Link] hi
ngpeople
twi
stedtoget
herbecauset heydidn'
tknowthe
wholestor
[Link]
lldon'tbecausetherei
sonly
onepersonwhoknowst hi
sbesi demeandIknow
hewi
llneversel
lmeout
"
"
Who?
"SheaskedandIl
aughed.
"Myfr
iendMlul
eki
"sheknewhi
sandIcoul
dseet
he
sur
pri
selookonherface.
"
Thenther
[Link]
eryout
ellmet
henI'
llbei
non
t
hesecret
"shewi
nkedandIsmil
edather
.
"Yeahther
[Link] hecleanversionisthat
therewasarobberyandapr egnantwomangot
shotandherchil
dsawher .Butthet r
uthis,t
here
wasar obber
ybuttherewasnogi r
[Link]
ewasa
pregnantwomanandt hentherewasmei nawr ong
placeatawrongtime"
"
Idon'
tfol
low"
"Thembeka'smot herwasshotandki l
ledinfrontof
[Link] lshedidn'tdiei
mmedi atelybecauseIhel d
herhandasshewai t
[Link] eeding
butsomehowhel donbecauseshewant edt
hebaby
tobebor [Link] nont hesi deoft heroad
afteroneofthepar amedici
nsistedt hattheyhelp
hergivebirt
hinsteadofrushingt ot hehospital
.She
wasn'tgoingtoli
[Link] edshortl
yaf t
er
af
terl
ear
ningshehadgi
venbi
rt
htoal
it
tl
egi
rl
"
JudgingbyNobuhle'
sfaceIcoul
dtellshedidn'
t
bel
[Link]'
tbl
ameher .Ml
ulekialsohada
hardtimebel
ievi
ngmewhenIf ir
sttoldhim.I
conti
nuedanyway.
"Afterthatshoot ingmyl i
[Link]
[Link] lnotasai [Link] ri
edt odogood
most [Link] ngawomanl oseherl ifeliket
hat
scar r
[Link] hsIcouldn'tfunct i
onwel land
Iwasangr [Link] ruggli
ngtomakei tin
Johannesbur [Link] ri
ngmeandIwas
pissedt hatIhadseenawomandi er i
ghtonf r
ontof
mel eavinganewbor [Link] orwar dt of
our
year [Link]
yIhadmanagedt oescape
Nqubekot hegoodguyandIwasembr acingwhatI
wasbecomi [Link] orgotaboutthechi ldandher
deadmot [Link]
esomet imesi tjustdoesn'tgive
youabr eakyouknow.I thasawayofbr ingingup
theset [Link] r
st,t
hef amilydecidet omovet oa
newar [Link] yonepackupandweal [Link] he
ti
mei tdidn'tmeananyt hi
ngunt i
lIwasbackt o
Johannesbur gdoi ngwhatIwasnowdoi ng"
"
Whichwaswhat
?Robbi
ngbanks?
"Sheaskedher
t
oneshar
p
"Ididn'tr
[Link] snotchild'
s
playandpeopl edie"Ir
epli
edandsher ol
ledher
[Link] mpatientbecauseshe
couldn'trecor
dthisconver
[Link]
calculati
[Link] t
wascl earthatshewasdanger ousandst upi
d,
deadlycombi nati
on.
"
Sowhatwer
eyoudoi
ng?
"
"Steal
[Link]
ealingcar
[Link]
whenever .Weweret
oldwhichcartostealand
wher etotakei
tandt
[Link]
ythat
simpleandpeopledi
dn'tdi
[Link]
,atfi
rst"
"
Meani
ng?
"
"Meaningwest ol
eempt ycarsinpackinglotsor
[Link] i
ti
[Link]
ganggotinvolveditwaswar .Wehadt olearnto
shotnotjustcarr
yguns.I ftheyfoundyoui nacar
theywantedyouki l
ledyouandt [Link]
wer ebr
utal
.Sobr utalyouwoul dthinkt
heywer e
tr
ainedi
nawarcamporsomethi
ng"Icoul
dsti
llsee
i
[Link]
[Link]
henhavi
ngtoescapeit
al
l.
"
Cont
inue"shespokewhenIhadgonequi
et.
"ThenonedayIst olet hiscar .Ther ewer ebagsi n
thebackseat .Fourl argebagsandIt houghti tsome
clothesandI '
lldumpt hem al ongt [Link]
drivingoutamanj umpst hecar .Thi smani sinjur
ed,
bleedi ngandhei sbeggi ngtogeti [Link] oppedand
hel it
er arygotinthr ought hewi ndowandt ol
dmet o
[Link] r
ectedmewher et odr iveandIdi das
toldbecauseIal sowant edtoknowwhatwasgoi ng
[Link] eachedthi sabandonedhouseandhet old
met ogett hebagsi nt hehouseandsett hecaron
fi
[Link] dastoldwhi lehesatt her ewat chingme.
WhenIwasdoneanot hercarcamear oundand
tookust oanotherl ocat [Link] edt okil
l
mebutt hemanst oppedt [Link]
somesor tofar i
ngl eader .Theycompl ainedbutl ef
t.
Leavi ngmewi thhi [Link] ntedt hr eebagsi nt he
cor nerandt oldmet ol oadt hem i nt hecar .Irefused
atf i
rstbuthemadei tclearthatIdi dn'thavea
[Link]'tknowwher emyguyswer eandIwas
suretheydi dn'tcar
eaboutme.I fsomeonediedit
washar dlyacknowl edgedunl essyouwer e
i
mpor tanttomor ethanoneper [Link]
disappearancedi dn'tmeanmucht [Link]'t
i
mpor tanttoanyoft [Link] alboyin
Johannesbur gandt heythoughttheywerebetter
[Link] dast ol
dandhehandedmet he
keys"
"
Whowast
heman?
"
"Healsohandedmet hi
[Link]
lina
col
[Link]
dmeshewashi s
daughterandhewantedmet olookf
orherand
makesur eshedoesn'
tsuff
er"
"Thatwoul
dbeThembeka?
"Inoddedbef
orepul
li
ng
outmywallett
oshowhert
hephoto.
"Youwalkar
oundwi t
hi t
?Whatifsheopenedt he
wall
[Link] dyouexplainhavingher
oldphot
o?"Icoul
dtellshewasyell
ing'stupi
d'inher
head.
"
I'
m notst
upi
[Link]
ecentphot
otocoverup"I
cl
osedmywal
letandputi
tback.
"
Soherf
atheraskedyout
otakecar
eofher
?"
"[Link] oldmewher eshel ivedandwhowaswi th
her .ThenIaskedwher ewashermot her .That's
whenIf oundouti twast hesamegi rlbor nont he
sideoft her [Link] athershippedhert oUl undito
hisf ami lybutt heysenthert ohermot hersfami l
y.
Youknowhowf amiliesar [Link] hemanIwas
from t heret ooandhet [Link] lhewas
oldersoi tmadesenset hatheknewmeandIdi dn'
t
knowhi [Link] m whyhedi dn'tgobackhome
tohi sdaught er
.Hel aughedandsai dhedoubt she
wi l
levenmakei [Link] stakewasf orcinghi mt otr
y.
Shewashi sdaught erandshedeser vedt oseeher
fathereveni fhewasacr iminalwhor obbedbanks.I
thinkt hei deagr ewonhi m becausehest ar
ted
talkingabouther .Howmuchhewoul dliketospend
ti
mewi thher .Howshewasgr owi ngupwi t
hout
them bot handhowhewast ryingt omakei tbuti t
wasj ustsohar [Link] eam wast ost artat ruck
[Link] fi
cesi ndif
fer entpr [Link]
hisdaught ereducatedandwor [Link] eshe
nevercr iedandki llanyonewhobr eaksherhear t.I
toldhi mi twasal lpossi [Link] l
edt hisguywho
suppl iedthem wi thmedi [Link] chedhi m up
butadvi sedagai nsttravelli
ngl ongdi [Link]
saidhewasbl uffi
ngandl eftJohannesbur gf i
ve
daysaf t
er .Hesai dgoodbyet ohi steam andt hey
wer en'timpr essedbutt [Link] eftand
threehour si nthet r
iphest artedseei nghi sdead
fri
[Link] kingabouthowhecan' tgoanyf ur
ther.
Wel ookedf oranyheal thcar efacili
tybuthe
stoppedbr eathi
ngbef or ewecoul dgett [Link] n
pani cIdr oppedhi m ont hesideoft her oadand
cont [Link] eall
yt [Link]
hedi edonhi swayt ot hehospi talaftersomeone
pickedhi m [Link] orywasonr adiobutIcoul dn'
t
conf esst oanyt hingwi thoutgoi ngdownf ormur der
"
"OhmyGod!!!
"Shest
oodupbutIwasqui
ckersoI
pushedherdown.
"
Sit
.Youwant
edt
hest
ory"
"Ineedsomewat er
.Youcan'tt
ellmethi
sanddeny
mesomewat erf
ortheshock"shetr
iedagainsoI
pull
edputtheguntoshowherImeantbusi ness.
"
Isai
dsi
t"
"
Okay"
"Thefir
stIdidwast oremovethemoneyinthecar.
Thenst r
ippedthecarint hemiddl
eoftheni
[Link]
s
bybitssot heywoul dt
hinksomeonewasdoi ngi
t.I
nevertoldanyoneaboutt [Link]
bybeforeIappr oachedMl ul
ekit
ohel
pmecl eanit
andthenIst art
edt hecompanyslowl
yatfir
stunti
lit
i
swhati tisnow"
"
AndThembeka?
"
"
Ifor
gotaboutherandmovedonwi
thmyl
if
e"
"
Wit
hherf
ather
sbl
oodmoney?
"
"
Wit
hthemoneyhegavet
ome"
"
Tot
akecar
eofher
"
"AndI '
m doi
ngso,am Inot?
"Itannoyedmet hatshe
feltt
heneedt oasktheobvi
[Link] hatI
didn'
tdot heri
ghtt
hingearl
[Link]
dn'tneedherto
addt oit
.
"[Link]
llsheisateenager
befor
ewanti
ngt odowhatyouwer esupposedto
do?
"Shet
otal
lyi
gnor
edmywar
ningf
ace.
"BecauseIcoul
dn'tgotoherhomeandsayIwas
theonewhol ef
therf at
heront hesideofroad
thi
[Link] tt
ingthatwouldhave
l
andedmet hej
[Link] e
goingtohangmeoutofbi t
ternessthatt
hey
couldn'
tcat
[Link] ewasnoeasywayf orme
todoanythingwithoutexposingthetrut
h"
"
Soyout
houghtmar
ryi
ngherwasabet
teri
dea?
"
"Idi
dn' tjustdecidet omar ryher .Theydeci dedt hat
whent heyst ar
tednegot i
atingmar ryingherof fto
thatol [Link] orethat,Iwaspl anningt oget
mar riedaswel [Link] oposedmyexandshesai dyes.
Wepl annedt heweddi ngbutThembeka' sf ather
startedappear ingi nmydr [Link] rstsaying
nothingunt i
lhest artedaskingmewhyIdi dn'tkeep
mypr omi [Link]
riedt ocoveri [Link] ngaboutmy
l
ackofsl eepbutt het r
uthwas, Istartedf earing
seeinghi mi nmydr eamsbecauseIwasl ivingt hi
s
l
ifewi thhi smoneyandhi sdaught erwast her e
suffer i
[Link] esandof feredt o
helpwi t
ht hi
ngsl i
kegr oceriesbutitwasn' tgoi ngto
l
[Link]' tborrowsomeonemoneyever ymont h
andnothavet hem seeingyourr ealmot ivesor
questioningt [Link]' teasyandi tgotwor se
whent heystar t
edtalki
ngaboutmar ryingherof fto
amanol denought obemyownf atherwi thwives
andki dsal r
[Link] oldmyext hatIwant edtwo
[Link] hrewaf itandsai d
[Link] ditwasr athert hem bot hor
Thembekaonl [Link] ef [Link]
mar r
iedThembekai nstead"Icouldf eelt heheavy
l
oadi nmyshoul dergetlighter
.Ml ul
ekidi dsay
tal
kingabouti twasgoi ngt ohelpbutIcoul dn'
tgo
fancyt hingsliketherapyandnotr i
skj ailsoI
decidedt ocar rymyownl oad.
"
Soshedoesn'
tknowt
hatyouknewherf
ather
?"
"[Link] llhaveknownifthoseloser
sin
Johannesburgdidn'
tt rytotr
[Link] i
nall
y
madei ttomyhomet ownbutofcauset henarrat
ive
ofthestorywasdifferentaccor
[Link]
saidIkil
ledhi
m andmar ri
[Link]'
[Link]
l,
atleastnoti
ntent
ionally"
"
Wow.I
'
veal
waysknownt
her
ewassomet
hing
aboutyouandt
hatgi
rl
.Butnevert
his"
"
Yeahwel
lnowyouknow"
"Soyoumarr
iedhert
okeepyourpr
omi
seofgi
ving
herabet
terl
if
e?"
"Atf
irst
.NowIknowforsurethatIl
oveherandI
wantherbackandI
'l
lki
llever
yonewhotriest
ohurt
her"
[Link]
oreshejumped
upbutIgrabbedherneckandpushedherbackon
[Link] r
iedtoscr
eam Isqueezed
harder
"
Ineverwantedtoki
llyouNobuhl
[Link]
i
nthecornerandIwasf or
cedtof
ightback"
Shel
ookedatmewit
hbeggingeyesandIl
etgoof
mygri
pbefor
eshecoughed.
"
Shewi
llneverf
orgi
veyou"
"
I'
m awarebutallthi
stimei
t'
sbeenmet r
yingto
makeherli
[Link]'tknow
t
[Link] ealmeisl
ovingandki
[Link] he
r
ealmewant sher"
"Howar
eyoupl
anni
ngt
odoal
lthat
?"Shehel
dher
neck
"
That'
snoneofyourbusi
ness"Ist
oodupand
wal
kedtothewindow.
Shest
oodther
eforamomentbef
oreshef
oll
owed
andst
oodbehi
ndme.
"Thankyoufort
ell
ingmethet r
uth"herhand
reachedformypantsandIdidn'tst
opher.I
nsteadI
encouragedwhi
lelooki
ngforarightangl
etolether
drop.
"Canyouborrowmeyourphone"Iaskedandshe
pausedherseducti
onbeforesheletoutafr
ustr
ated
breat
handwentt otheki
[Link]
cklyunl
ocked
thewindowandwai t
ed.
"Youarenocall
ingher
"sheaddedbef
oreshe
pushedthephonetomyhands.
"
No.I'
m cal
li
ngthepol
[Link]
esui
cidalandI
f
earyouwil
ljump"
"What.
..
..
..
"Befor
eshecoul
dfi
nishIgaveherahar
d
shovebeforeshesl
ammedthewindowanditgave
i
nall
owinghertopushpast
.Ithappenedsof
ast
shedi
dn'tevenscr
eam.
"Ineedhel
[Link]
lfr
iendi
s..
..
Nobuhl
e!!
!!
"Iyel
led
beforegoi
ngovert
osee.
"
Hel
lo?
"Askedt
hewomani
ntheot
herend.
"Mygir
lfr
iendj
ustj
[Link]
ease
hel
p"Ifakedacrywhi
lemut
teri
ng'nonono'
Icoul
dseeherbodyl
ayi
ngont
her
oadi
napoolof
bl
ood.
Thewomanwasst i
llspeaki
nginmyearbutIwasn't
l
ist
[Link] t
erwit
nessi
ngmygirl
fr
iend
ki
ll
inghersel
fbecauseIwaschoosingmywifeover
her
.
Chapt
er21

Givi
ngoutmyst atementaboutNobuhl e'
sdeathtoo
l
ongert hanIexpectedandi tannoyedmebecauseI
neededt oactl
ikeagr i
evingboyf r
[Link]
herinsult
ingmywi f
eplayedabi gpartinproving
thatshewasbi tt
erandunst [Link] i
oned
howIhadt ri
edt otalkheroutofdoinganythi
ng
stupi
dIcoul dt el
lthatthemanboughti t
.Hour sl
ater
theyletmegoandIwenthomet oshaveand
shower .Thest or
yofawomancommi t
ti
ngsui ci
de
wasal r
eadyt rendingandi twasaonlyamat terto
ti
mebef or
etheyputherf aceint
othestorysoI
call
edThembekaf i
[Link]
twent
tovoicemail.
"[Link] egetti
ngbet t
[Link]
commi ttedsuici
dethi
smor [Link] ng
met opi ckandIsai
di'm pi
[Link] dn'ttake
i
twel landjumpedoutt [Link] dn'
twantyou
toseet hestoryonTVorheari tonthenewsf i
rst.
I'
m sorryMaKhumal [Link] l
lfi
nditinyour
hearttof or
[Link]"Iwai tedf or
fewsecondsbef oreendingthecall.
Herabsentmademer eal
izehowmuchIhadt aken
herpresenceforgrant [Link]
lalways
[Link] llalwayswal kintoawarm
housewi t
hsomet hingcooki nginthestoveandher
handingmeever ythingIneededwi t
houthavingto
askforit
.[Link] i
ngher
voi
cewasgoi
ngt
omakemef
eelal
it
tl
ebet
ter
.
It
ri
edheragai
nandst
il
lgothervoi
cemai
l
.
"Imissyou.I'
m sosorryforeveryt
[Link]
wil
lfinditi
nyourhearttoforgi
vemesomeday.
HaveagooddayMaKhumal o"Iendedmymessage
beforecall
ingt
oCraigtoconf i
rmthatIwascomi ng.

*
***
***

Crai
gwasinhi
soff
icedrowni
nginthemountai
nof
paperwor
[Link]
ound
hi
m waswalki
ngi
neggshell
s.
"Weal
mosthadhi
m"heyel
ledt
hemomentIsat
down.
"Youhadhi [Link]?
"Iwastoopissed
offtobehearingt
hisri
[Link]
edhim outof
mybusi nesssoIcangetbackmybusinessbackin
order.
"Hegotawayl
astni
ght
.Sl
ippedpastsecur
it
yatt
he
air
por
t.I
t'
smessQ"hebar
ked
"
Tel
lmeal
lther
edt
apear
oundmei
sof
fCr
aig"
Hestar
tedscrat
chinghisgreyingbear
[Link]
l
[Link]
[Link]
sappoint
ment
andIknewIdidn'
tneedi tri
ghtnow.
"Unf
ort
unatel
[Link]
lthi
nkhehassomeone
i
nyourstaff
.Someonefeedi
nghi m of
fandt
hey
coul
dstil
lbeworki
ngtoget
her"
"Dammi tCrai
g.I'mtr
yingtorunabusi nessher
e.I
cannotaf f
ordtohavet [Link]
chance!
!"Iwant edt
ogr abhim andshakehim abit
.
Theiri
ncompet encewaski l
li
ngme.I twasrui
ning
mybusi ness.
"Cal
m down"hel
ookedal
armedandhi
seyesf
ixed
onmycl i
nchedf
ist
.
"Don'ttel
lmetocalm downCr [Link]
ning
me"Iyankedt hepapersthrewt hem acr
ossthe
room "Iwantyouandyourl azyst af
foutofmy
[Link]
[Link] mfl
ee.I
fhe
comesbackI 'l
lkil
lhi
m mysel f
!!
? "
Heopenedhismoutht
ospeakbutstoppedhi
msel
f.
Hi
sluckyst
arstol
dhimitwasbadidea.
"I
'
m [Link] heti
meIgetback
Iwantyourbal
lsoutofmybusi nessbeforeIki
ck
yououtmyself
"Iwarnedbeforegrabbingmyphone.
NoonespokeasIl ef
tthei
roff
icesanddr oveback
hometogetmybags.

Craigwassupposedt ocat chDannyf orhisdrugs.

WhenIt oldhimt oleavehi mt omehedeci dedt o
remindmet her [Link] eedyswi ne
whowasusi ngmyt ruckst osmuggl edrugsint o
otherprovi
[Link] sbr ot
herandThat ower einoni t
andThat owentasf arshi tti
ngonmywi [Link]
deepdownhewant edtoshowmet hatI'
m not hing
andIcan'ttoucht [Link] heydi dn'tknowwas
thatIwascapabl eofki ll
ingandpl ayingdi rt
[Link]
wasn'tforCraigandhi sego, wantingt ocatcht he
mostwant edl owlif
ecr i
mi nalinDur banIwoul d
havesor t
edhi m [Link] neevenhadsome
nerveofthreateningmywi [Link] ngmet hatt hey
couldgettoThembekawhenevert heywant [Link]
crossedthelineandIwant edt okillhim withmy
barehandsbutCr aigandhi swor ket [Link]
thi
nki
[Link]
ledwhich
meanttheyneededt
ogiveupandallowustotake
careofDanny.

*
***
**

"Soyouar
egoi
nghome?
"AskedMl
ulekiont
he
phone.
"Ihavetot al
ktoThembekaf acet of ace.I'
m hopi ng
shewi l
lallowmet o"Irepliedafteropeni ngacanof
energydr i
nksoIwoul dn'tfallasleepbehi ndt he
[Link] at
eandIwasact uallyexhaust edbut
therewasnowayIwasst ayinganot herni ghtinthe
houseal one.
"Shoul
dyoudr
ivel
atewhi
leangry?
"Heasked
soundi
ngli
keaconcer
nedbrot
her.
"I
'
llbefi
[Link]"I
handedthemoneyt ot
hepet r
olguyandaddedatip.
Tippi
ngwasThembeka' sthi
[Link]
ippi
ng
peopl
e.
"ThankyouSi
r"sai
dtheguybef
orewal
kingaway.I
noddedandgotinthecar
.
"
Soyouwantmet otakecar
eofDanny?"Asked
Mlul
ekisoundi
ngl
ikehewasmorealer
tnow.
"How?Helef
tthecount
ryalr
[Link]
fhedares
comebacki'
l
lgivehi
mt heatt
ent
ionhewants"
"[Link] i
[Link] fheturnedi
ntoa
scorpionandhi sunderar ock.I
'l
lfi
[Link]
so"hel [Link] hatmanyhad
mistakenf orki
[Link] ul
ekiwasf arf
rom ki
nd.
Hewascol [Link] het
ypeyou
wantinyourcor nernomat t
erwhat .I
twasshame
hecoul dn'
tfixmymar riage.
"
Wel l
Craig,i
sbeingal
lprof
essi
onalonmesoIsay
l
et'
swai [Link] umpi
nand
f
ixthis"
"
Youar
etheboss"
"
[Link]
ogetther
ebefore
midni
ght"Ist
art
edt
hecarandhelaughed.
"
[Link]
[Link]'
tfor
get
t
otell
hert
het
ruth.I
twi
lleaset
hebl
owwhent
he
t
rut
hcomesout"
"Whattr
uth?"ForamomentIf
ear
edhewast
alki
ng
aboutherparent
s.
"
[Link]
lherandexpl
ainyour
r
[Link]
ghtsur
priseyou"
"
Yout
hink?
"
"Notr
eal
lysurebutifshehastohearthi
sfrom
someoneelseitwi
[Link]
[Link]
p"
heendedthecall
.
It
ookadeepbreathandcont
inuedwithmytr
ip.
What
everhappenedIwasgoi
ngt ohavetof
aceit
.

*
***
**

Ifi
nall
ymadei thomeaf termidnightduet obad
[Link] osayther oadafter
ULunditoDlebeishaunt edbecauseoft hef [Link]
[Link]
st hick,
sot hickyoucan' tsee
someonewal ki
ngt owardsyouunt i
ltheyarerightin
yourf [Link]
hatreasonIdrovesl
owlyunti
lI
fi
nallymadei thomeandt heywereasl
[Link]
led
Nomasont oandshegl adl
yopenedupformebef or
e
sayingshewasgoi ngbacktothemainhouse
becauseshewant edtocatchsomethi
ngonTV.I
didn'taskmuchi nsteadImadesureshewasinside
safeandwenti nmyr oom bef
orel
ocki
ngthedoor
behindme.
[Link]
heat
erwasonandshewaswear ingherwarm
pyj
[Link]
dedt ochangeandwearal ong
sl
eevedcot
tonT-shi
rtandlongpantssoIwoul dn'
t
havetot
ouchherwithmycol dbody.
Shedidn'
tpr
otestasIgotundert
hebl
anketand
pul
ledhercl
[Link] or
e
sheheldmetightandmovedevencl
oser
.Myhear t
j
umpedbecauseIcouldnowputmyar msaround
her
.
Iwasjustsett
li
ngi
nwhenshest art
edmaki
nga
[Link]
ewunti
lI
coul
dtellshewascryinginadream.
"I
t'
[Link]
'sokay"Iwhi
speredandrubbedher
[Link]'
tsett
lei
nsteadhercr
ygrewlouder
unti
lIneededtowakeherup.
"
Nqubeko"shewhi
sper
edbef
orepul
li
ngawayf
rom
me.
"
It
'sabaddr
eam"
Shelookedatmeforamomenthereyesshi
ning
wit
htearsandsl
eep.
"I
tsaf t
ermi dni
ght
.Getsomesl eep"Iencouraged
andf oramomentIt houghtshemightprot
estbut
shedi dn'
[Link]
dherheaddownandherhands
grabbedmyT- shi
rtbeforeshecl
osedhereyes
again.
Iwaitedforawhi l
ebeforeshewasbackt osnoring
gentleandherhandscl osedar
oundmyT- shi
rt
.It
brokemyhear tbecauseshewascr yingabout
monst er
sinadr [Link] yi
ngbecauseof
[Link] everthedream wasIwast hereason
behindit.
*
***
*
Iwokeupalonet [Link] i
rstIthoughtshe
wasprobablyi
nt hekitchenbecausei twasafter9
alr
eadyandherphonewasont hebedsi [Link]
curi
ousmani nmewant edtoseei fshewast alking
[Link] dwasst i
llt
hesame
soIwenttocheckt hemessagesf irst
.Shehadf our
messagesfrom him andt hr
eefrom unsaved
numberaskingforacal lbackbecauseshewasn' t
answeri
ngthecal l
[Link] al
edt he
number.
"
Hel
lo"answer
edPhumel
ele.
"Phumelel
[Link]
ryi
ngtoreachThembeka?
IthoughtIt
oldNombusot
hatthedeali
soff"
"Sor
ry"shehangupafterthat
.It
ri
edagainandit
wenttovoicemai
[Link]
earl
yPhumelelewantedt
his
doneinahar dway.
IreadKwanele'smessagesandmostoft
hem wer
e
normalconversati
onsaski
nghowshewasand
wishi
ngherwel l.
Icheckedherwhat
sappandshehadnor
ecent
messagesbesideKwanel [Link]
stimehewas
sendinghersomef unnyphotosandjokes.I
blockedt
hefunnymanandf orpetti
nessinmeI
report
edhiswhatsappaswel l
.
"
Let
'sseei
fhewillenj
oythatj
[Link]"Iput
t
hephonebackbeforemakingthebed.
I
tsurpr
isedmetoseemyf at
heranduncleJosi
ah
t
alki
ngundert
hekraal
.Itwastooear
lyforany
f
amilydramasoIwavedandhurri
edtothekit
chen
l
iket
herewassomethi
ngchasingme.
Sont
owasal
one.
"Morni
ng"Igr
eet
edherandsher epl
iedwit
hanod
befor
esheconti
[Link]
tt
le
pri
ncesssmil
edandrai
sedbothhandst ome.
"Eatf
ir
standwewi l
lspendadaytoget
her
"I
negoti
atedbutobvi
ousl
yitwasn'
tgoi
ngtowor
kout
.
"WhereisMaKhumal o?"IaskedandSontost
opped
tr
yingtoforceherdaughtert
oeatbecauseshewas
nowonlyf ocusedt
ome.
"
Shet
ookt
hef
ir
stt
axibef
oresunr
ise"
"
Fir
stt
axit
owher
e?"
"
[Link]'
twantt
oseeyousoshel
eft
"her
t
onewassnappy.
"
But
..
..
."
"
Butwhat?Youthoughtyoushoul
ddropinandal
l
wil
lbef
orgot
ten?"Sherai
sedhervoi
ce.
"
Sont
[Link]
cht
het
one"Iwar
ned
"Orwhat ?Youdon'tgetit
.Youdi dn'tj
usthurther.
Youhur [Link] oppedbei ngsomeoneIbr ag
aboutbecauseyoul oveyourwi feandt r
eatherwel l
.
You'vebecomel ikeal
[Link] gthat
allwomenhat [Link],apparentlyyoudot hattoo!!
"
Sheyel l
edandt hechil
dassumedi twasasi gnto
startscr
eamingt oo.
"
[Link]
ed"yel
ledmymot
herwal
king.
"I
'
m sorry"Il
ookedatmysi sterandfel
treall
ybad.I
hadnoi deai
twaslikethi
[Link] ri
edtot aket
he
cryi
ngbabyshebur i
edherf acetohermot herwhi
le
cl
ingingtohershi
rt
.Evensomeoneasyoungasher
didn'
twanttodealwit
hme.
Ideci
dedtoleavethekit
chenandheadbackt
omy
room bef
oregoingtoherhome.
"
Mbonambi
"sai
duncl
eJosi
ahst
oppi
ngmeonmy
t
racks.
"
YeboMal
ume"Ir
epl
iedandwentt
othem.
"Weneedtosolvet
hisbeforei
tgoestofar
"he
spokewit
houtevengivi
ngmechancet osi
tont he
unoccupi
edstonethatl
eanedagai
nstthekraal
.
"[Link]
ngsli
ketheseshoul
dn'tbeignor
ed
andMakot ineedstoknowthatrunni
ngaway
doesn'tsolveanypr
oblem"addedmyf ather
.
Itwastooear
lyforthisandIcouldtel
lIwasgoing
tosaysomethi
ngt hatIwoul
dr egr
etbutIhopedto
bewrong.
"
Meani
ng?
"Iaskedl
ikeaf
ool
.
"Weunder st
andt hatallmar
riageshaveprobl
ems
andthosepr oblem [Link]'
trun
[Link] akeanotherwif
enowshewi l
lbeangr
y
whil
eshel eftyoualone"sai
dUncl eJosi
ah.
"
Idon'
twantanot
herwi
fe"Ir
epl
iedwhi
lel
ooki
ngat
myf [Link]
lyt
hinki
ngt
hisi
sokayorhe
wasl ett
ingJosi
ahpokehisnosewher
eitwasn'
t
needed.
"[Link]
obehereorweare
goingt
oaskforLobolabackandaskhert
ocl
eanse
thi
sfamil
y"pressedJosi
ah.
"Li
keyouaskedSi
phot ocl
eanseyourhomeaf t
er
hebroughtmoret
hanonechildfr
om hismistr
esses
whil
ehiswifei
sstayi
ngputinyourf
ami l
y?!
"
"
Nqubeko!
!!
"War
nedmyf
ather
.
"ThembekaandIwil
lfi
xthi
[Link]'
t
needhelp"Ii
gnor
edmyf at
her
.
"
Youar
ebei
ngr
idi
cul
[Link]
obe.
..
..
..
"
"Wi
thal
[Link]
shasnot
hingt
odo
wit
[Link] f
eandIwil
lfi
x
our
sel
vesjustf
ine"Ir
aisedmyvoi cet
oshowthatI
wasn'
tbacki
ngdown.
"Youaredi
srespect
ful
!!
!"Heshout
edandr
aisedhi
s
sti
cktowar
dsme.
"
Idar
eyou"
Heseemedt
ohaveasecondt
houghtabouti
t.
"Thi
sisnothowIrai
sedyou"sai
dmyf
ather
soundi
ngbitt
er.
"Youraisedmet obeamani nmyownhousebaba.
Asamani nmyownhouset hepr obl
emsinmy
housear eminetofix.I
'
llf
ixthem inmyownway.I
wrongedmywi f
eandIhavet obegforher
forgi
[Link] l
owme
todot hi
smyownway"It ri
edmybestt obepol
it
e.
"[Link]"sai
dmyf
atherbut
Josiahwascomplai
ningqui
etl
y.
"
Thankyou"Ist
oodupandmyphonest
art
ed
r
ingi
ng.I
twasSandi
le.
"
What'
supman"Ianswer
edal
readybr
aci
ngmysel
f
f
orbadnews.
"[Link] [Link]
anemai laski
ngtomeettodiscussitfacetofaceas
soonasshei sbackinDurban.I'
vebeent r
yingto
callherbutherphonej
ustri
ng"
Ist
oppedwal
kingandf
eltl
ikesomeonej
ust
punchedmei
nthegut
.
Chapt
er22

Iparkedt hecaront hesideoft heroadbef ore

call
ingtwoboyswhower ewalkingtoal i
ttl
epath
thatledtowar dstheKhumal [Link] hem
camewhi letheotherstoodther easifreadytorun.
Growi ngupwewer ealltaughttoneverappr oacha
caroranyonest andi
ngneart hecar .Thesekids
werest i
lltaughtthesamet hing.
Thelit
tleguykeptadi st ancef rom measIgr eeted
him andaskedhisnameandsur [Link] oldme
andIpol i
tel
yaskedhi mt ocal lThembekaforme.
Hesai dokayandt ooof [Link] ollowed
andIwat chedthem di sappeari nthehouseand
thencomi ngoutafterf [Link] se
cameoutpr obablytochecki ftheyweretel
li
ngt he
trut
[Link] oretheywentbacki nsi
[Link]
boyscont i
nuedwi t
ht hei rjourneyandIwaited.
Thembekaappearedaft
erover30minut
esof
wait
[Link]
tedpat
ient
lyunt
ilsher
eachedme.
"
Hi"shegr
eet
edwi
thoutl
ooki
ngup.
"
Hi"Ist
oppedmyselff
rom r
eachi
ngt
otouchher
"
howareyoufeel
ing?"
Thisti
meshel ookedupandIcouldseet
hedark
ci
rclesunderhereyesandthehaunt
ingl
ooki
nher
eyesbeforetheyfi
ll
edwit
htears.
"I
'
llpayyoubackyourl [Link]
vemef ew
mont hstosaveup"thatsurpri
sedmebecauseI
didn'tmenti
onanythi
ngaboutwant i
ngthelobola
[Link] arassheknewIknewnot hingabouther
askingforadvicer
egardingthedivorceprocess.
"
Lobol
a?"
Sheexhal
edloudl
yandseemedl
ikeshewas
shr
inki
ngint
oasmallsi
ze.
"Yourfamil
ywi llwantitbackordemandt hatIcome
[Link] esar ebusytalki
ngabouthowt hey
havenomoneyt opayitbacksoIhavet odoit
[Link] ewmont hsandi'
llmakea
plan"shewipedt earswithherjacketsl
eeve.
"
Canwesi
tint
hecar
.Idon'
twantyout
ost
andf
or
tool
ong"Ioff
[Link]
ikeshemightref
use
butaf
teramomentshenoddedandIwal kedoverto
openthedoorforherbefor
eget
t i
nginsi
demyself.
"
Idon'
twantthel
obol
[Link]
lthem Isai
dIdon'
t
wanti
tback"
Sheseemedsurpri
sedbef
oreshenoddedand
st
aredri
ghtahead.
"
Besideever
ythi
ngelsehowareyoureal
lyf
eel
ing?
"
Myeyeslandedonhermidsect
ionsosheknew
whatIwasasking.
"
I'
mfi
ne"t
her
ewasnof
inei
nhereyes.
"
Youneedt
her
apy"Isuggest
ed
"Youthi
nkt
herapyfi
xever
ythi
ng?"Shesnapped
befor
eshelookedatmeandthenlookedoutt
he
windowagain.
"
Itwon'
tbutsomeonet
otal
ktoatl
east
"
"Tal
kingwon'
tgi
[Link] ook
mef r
om myhomenowIhavenowher [Link]
youknowwhatit
sli
ketohearpeopl
esayyouareno
l
ongeramemberofyourfamil
[Link]
ltal
kingmake
mebel
ongsomewher
e!!
?"Sheyel
led
Ifel
tli
kesuchaf [Link] dn'
tseet he
biggerpi
ctureri
[Link]
nowaMbonambiandheruncl eswer edoingwhat
theygrewupseei [Link] en'tcommoni n
[Link]
kethecitywher eitwasnor malto
[Link] et hingswer efar
from t
hatwayofl i
[Link] epeopleexpect edthe
womant ostayeveni fshehasnot hingtost ayfor
.
Theiropti
onwast oleavethevi l
lageandmovet o
thecit
yandbeknownasf ailur
esbecauset hey
couldn'
tstaymarried.
"I
'
lltal
ktothem"Iof fer
edevent houghthi
swasn' t
howIpl annedthisconver
sati
[Link] eto
convincehertogivemeanot [Link]
ustot r
[Link] obegbutnowIwast akinga
dif
ferentdi
recti
[Link]
wantt ofi
xthisforherandforgetmef oramoment .
"Andsaywhat ?Thati
t'
smyf aul
tyoucheated?That
i
'm overr
eacti
ng,t
hatIshoul
dhavecarri
edt he
pregnancytoter
m becausewomenhavebeen
havingkidsl
ongbeforemeandnoneoft hem have
almostdi
edduetomi scar
ri
age?Wi l
lyouexpl
ainal
l
thatt
othem?"Hertonewasmi xedthesomuch
painIbi
tmyownl i
psandsai dnothi
ngtomakeher
worse.
"CanIdri
ve?"Iaskedinst
eadandsheshr
uggedbut
saidnot
[Link]
hatasayes.

*
***
***
*

Ist
oppedthecaronthesideoft
her oadbef
ore
pushi
[Link]
soleanedbackand
cl
osedhereyes.
"Icametotr
yandconvinceyoutof
orgi
[Link]
givemeachancetofixthi
sbutnowIseei
'
m bei
ng
self
[Link]
vorced"
Sheopenedhereyesandl
ookedatme.
"Forr
eal
?IreadonGoogl
ethatuncont
est
eddi
vorce
arequi
cker
.Wecanhaveitdonein4tosi
xweeks"
"It
[Link]
lther
ewi
llbet
ermsand
condit
ions"
Thel
it
tl
espar
kIwasseeingi
nhereyesf
ora
momentvani
shedqui
ckl
y.
"Don'
tpani
[Link]
msregar
dingwhogets
whatandwhat"Ispokequi
ckl
yhopingt
hespark
cancomebackagain.
"
Wegotmarri
edoutofcommunityofpr
oper
ty.I
t
hinkIr
emembert
hatpartcl
ear
"
"[Link] rom anyf inancialti
es.
Withthebusi nessesthingscanber [Link]'t
wantt oburdenyouwi tht hatriskshoul danything
happent omyf i
nances"theideacamef rom Sandile
beforewesi gnedthemar ri
agecont [Link] i
me
Ithoughtitwasmaki ngmegr eedybutaf terhe
explai
nedIunder [Link] t
ingadi vorcewasnot
somet hi
ngIsawhappeni ngt ousbuti twasmy
fault
.
"Soyouwanttogivemethingseventhoughi
'
m
l
eavingyou?"Sheseemedsurpr
[Link]
heart
lessi
nsuchawayshet houghtIwouldl
ether
walkawaywi t
hnothi
ngatall
.
"
I'
m hear
tbr
okenbutnotbi
tt
[Link]
dneverdot
hat
toyou"Irepl
iedandIt
hinkshesmi
ledabi
tbef
ore
shelookedaway.
"
Thankyou"shespokesof
tl
y.
"Isawyourmot
her
"Ispokeaf
teramomentof
sil
ence.
Shet ur
nedherheadandl ookedatmel ikeshe
didn'
tfull
yhearwhatIwassayi [Link]
o
showsomecur i
osit
yaboutthisbecauseIwantedto
comecl ean.I
fwewer ewalki
ngawayf r
om each
otherweneededt othet
ruthoutintheopen.
"
Mymot
her
?"Sheaskedhervoi
cesoundi
nghoar
se.
"
[Link]
edIwast
her
e"
"Whatwer
eyoudoingther
e?Wit
hher
?"Sheasked
hereyesl
ooki
ngcuri
ousnow.
Icontinuedtotellherthewholestor
yandhow
heartbrokenIwasaf terwit
nessi
[Link]
l
istenedsilentl
yuntilIwasdonethenshebroke
[Link] il
lwhileshesobbedandhercries
turnedintohiccupsandt henshecalmeddownaft
er
that.
"Sothatwhyyoumarr
iedme?Becauseyousawher
die?
"Therewasnoaccusati
oni nhertonesoI
fi
guredImightaswel
ljustt
ellhereveryt
hing.
"No.I
twasyourfat
herwhomademewantt
omar
ry
you"Icamecl
ean.
"
Myf
ather
?"
"Yourf
atherwasBr [Link] l
edhim BraBizza.
Aknownr [Link]
ng
andeveryonewhohadsomet hi
nghewant ed"I
l
aughedj ustthi
nkingaboutthestori
esthatcame
outaboutBr aBizzaaft
erhisdeath.
"WhatdoesBizzamean?"Sheaskedsoundi
ngl
ike
shewasn'tsur
eift
olist
enmoreornot.
"Hi
snamewasBhekiSi bi
[Link]
vedinDanny
Dalt
onbeforehi
sparent
sdi edandthelastt
imeI
heardther
ewasonlyadaught erl
eft
.Shegot
marri
edatsomepoint"
Sheseemedt
othi
nkaboutsomet
hingbef
oreshe
l
ookedatme.
"
Ifmyf
atheri
snotaKhumal
othatmeansi
'
m nota
Khumal
o?"SheaskedandInodded.
"Yourmot herwasaKhumal [Link] at
hersentyou
backt ohisfamilyandhisfamilysentyout oyour
mother sfamil
ybecauseyourgr andmot herwasst i
ll
ali
[Link] t
erherpassingyour emainedwi t
hyour
uncles"asmuchasi twasn'tmypl acetosayallthi
s
butIcoul dn'
ttel
lherthetr
uthandl eaveherhanging.
"
Soyousawhi
m?"
"
[Link]
[Link]
lIst
olef
rom hi
m"
Hereyesgr
ewwideandwonder edifshenever
suspect
edt
hatIwasfarf
rom saint
hood.
"
Stol
ewhat
?"
"
ThemoneyIusedt
ost
artmybusi
ness"
Iexpect
edhertogetangr
yandyel l
atmebut
nothi
[Link]
ongt
ime
befor
eshetookadeepbreath.
"
Youmarri
edmeoutofguil
t?"Sheaskedbef
ore
t
urni
ngherheadt
olookatme.
"
[Link]
iedyoubecauseIhear
dyouruncles
wer
eplanni
ngtomarryyouofftothatman.I
couldn'
tletithappenandIcoul dn'tt
ellthem I '
ve
seenhim bef orehedi [Link] i
llawant edman
andconf essingseeinghi m woul dhavemeantme
goingtojailandbeingaccusedofbei ngan
accompl i
[Link] omar r
yyoui [Link]
saidokaywi thoutmuchquest i
onsbecauset hey
wantedmoneymuchmor e"Iwasbi tchingbutI
didn'
[Link] hei rchildandt heyshoul dn'
t
havetoldhershewasn' ttheirchildanymor [Link]
parentshoulddosucht ot [Link] amilywas
angryatmebutt heywer en'ttelli
ngmet onever
regardthem asf [Link] ami lywaswr ongandI
wasset ti
ngt hem upf orthat .
"
Andtherespectt
hatcomeswi t
hmebei ngmarr
ied
t
oyourfamil
[Link]
ready"sheaddedaf
ter
amoment.
"Iunderst
andifyouareangryaboutthisbutI
thoughtyoudeservethetr
uth"Ifel
tevenmore
l
ighteraft
ersayi
ngt hi
[Link]'
tdonebutitwas
bettert
[Link].
"
SoBr
aBi
[Link]
ike?
"
"
You'
veneverseenevenhi
sphot
o?"
"[Link].
Nothi
ngabouthim excepthediedatsomepoint
andthat'
sit
"sheshrugged.
"Hegavemet hi
s"It
ookoutmywal
letandpul
led
outherphot
o.
Herhandstrembledassheheldthephotoandthen
thetear
sstart
[Link]
stimeIreachedoverand
[Link]
dn'
tpul lawayi
ndisgust
andmyhear tj
umpedabi t
.
"[Link]
omi
set
ogi
veyoua
bet
terli
fe"
"
That
'
swhyyousentmet
oschool
?"
"[Link]
'swhyImadesomebadchoi
cest
hinki
ng
Iwasmaki ngyourl
if
eeasi
er"
Shel
ookedatmewi
thconf
usi
on.
"Whenyouweren'
tmaki
ngfr
iendsatschooland
youwereal
waysathomeIapproachedNombuso
andPhumelel
eandoff
eredt
opayt hem t
obeyour
fr
iends"
Shedidn'
tspeakforfewsecondsbef
oreshe
l
[Link] r
dlaughthatt
urnedi
ntoan
uncontr
oll
edcry.
Myowneyesfi
ll
edwi
tht
ear
sbutImanagedt
obl
ink
t
hem away.
"
Sotheywer
en'tmyrealf
ri
ends?"Sheaskedaf
tera
momentbef
orewipi
ngherrunni
ngnose.
"[Link] togiveyousomeexperi
ence
becauseIfel
tguil
tythatyouhadgonefrom t
eenage
towifewit
hnoexper i
enceofhavingworki
ngfri
ends
andparti
es.I
'm sor
ryforrui
ningyourl
if
eli
kethis"
"
Howmuchwer
eyoupayi
ngt
hem?
"
"
It
'snoti
mpor
tant
"Ir
epl
iedqui
etl
y.
"
IthinkIdeservet
oknowhowmuchi
'
m wor
th"she
r
aisedhervoice.
"
R2000perper
son"
Shelaughedabitbef
oresheopenedt
hedoorand
[Link]
dthesame.
"
IthoughtIwashel
ping"
"
Becausei'
m hel
plessIcan'
tevenmakemyown
f
ri
end!!
"Sheyell
ed.
"Becauseyouseemedtokeeptoyour
sel
falot
.I
didn'
twantyoutofeel
lonel
yandhavenoli
febesi
de
beingmywi f
e"
"Youdi
dn'
tdoitsoyoucancheatwi
thNobuhl
ein
peace?
"Thatf
eltl
ikeashar
pknif
einmychest.
"
[Link]
dn'
tdoi
tfort
hat
"
"
[Link]'tr
eal
lycheat
ing
wit
[Link] he
i
nconveni
entcaseyouhadt odealwit
hinyourli
fe"
"That
'
[Link]
ingwithherbecauseI
wasself
[Link]
ingwithherbefor
eyou
evenmarri
edme"sheseemedt othinkabout
somethi
ngandwhenshel ookedatmeIsuddenl y
remembertheli
eItol
dherbefore.
"YesIli
[Link]
[Link]
thestor
yofyourfat
her'
sdeathspreadhi
sf r
iendsi
n
Johannesburgcamelooki
ngformebecauset hey
thoughtIhadki
ll
[Link]
esstar
tedcoming
outwhenwegotmar ri
[Link]
ll
edhim and
mar
ri
edyoubecausewewor
kedt
oget
her
"
"
Whydi
dyoul
ie?
"Sheaskedandl
ookedather
.
"BecauseIwasaf
rai
dyouwi
lll
eavemei
fyouf
ound
outthetr
uth"
Webot hr emainedqui [Link]
lshewas
confusedandpr [Link] old
myselfatl eastItol
dhermysel [Link]
eftoutl
eaving
herfatheront hesideoft her oadbecauseitwas
goingtopai ntmeamur dererinhereyeswhileshe
wasal readyresentingme.
"Sowhatareyougi
vingmeinthedi
vor
ce
agreement
?"Sheaskedbef
oreshel
eanedagai
nst
thecar.
"
Whatexact
lydoyouwant
?"
"Aplacet
[Link]
nDur
[Link]
j
obandt r
ytoli
vemyl if
esoaplacet
ost
aywillbe
nice"
"Afl
atorahouse?"Iaskedal
readyt
hinki
ngabouta
saf
eplacewhereshecouldstaywit
houtanyone
bot
heri
ngher.
"
Afl
atwi
llneedr
ent
"shepoi
ntedout
.
"
[Link]
eat
enew
memor
[Link]
hingel
seyouwantt
oadd?
"
"Youhaveconnecti
[Link]
pmeget
anotherj
[Link]
nal i
ving"
"
Iunder
stand"Shenoddedandl
ookedatme.
Webothstoodsidebysidesi
lent
lyforal
ongti
me.
WhenIlookedathershewaslookingatmeaswel
l.
"Doyouforgi
veme?
"Iaskedunabl
etor
emai
nqui
et
anylonger
.
"If
[Link]
ett
ingmego"she
smiledandIsmi l
edback.
Chapt
er23

Thr
eemont
hsl
ater
.

Thembeka.
"Ithi
nkifoundit
"It
oldNqubekoasIstoodonthe
sideoftheroadandstar
edatthehi
ll
sandtrees
aroundme.
"
Ishouldhavecamewi
thyou"hesoundedl
ikehe
wasrushi
ngsomewher
e.
Wewer efinal
lydivor cedandIwasnol ongerhis
problem butIappr eciatedhi shel [Link] e
thatthedi vorcewassmoot handkepthi spromise
aboutgi vi
ngmeahouset [Link] segoal somade
him gi vemeanal l
owancesayi ngIneededi tbefore
starti
ngonanewj [Link] dn'tr
ef usei tbecauseI
wasf acingmyr [Link] obyetandIwas
l
eavi ngt heKhumal ohomebecauset heywer e
refusingt oacceptt hatIwasdi vor [Link]
withpeopl egossi pingaboutmebutwheni twas
thosewhoar esupposedt obef ami lyit
seven
harder .SoIneededal lt
hehel pIcangeti n
restartingmyl if
[Link] ngmyf ami lywaspar tofthe
deal.
"
I'
llbef
[Link]
ort
hehel
p"
"
It
scool
.Don'
tfor
gett
hei
nter
viewnextweek"he
added.
"Iwon'
[Link]
[Link]"Iendedt
hecallbef
ore
gett
ingbacktothecarbef
oreitmadepeoplest
art
wonderingwhatwasgoingon.
Theli
tt
lepathl
eadingtowardsthedir
ect
ionIwas
gi
venclear
lyshowedt hatnocarhaddri
venpastso
Idr
ovecareful
lyunti
lIwaspackedintheyard.
Therewerethreemudhut
ssidebysi
[Link]
them hadsmokecomingoutwhi
let
heothert
wo
wereclosed.
Itookadeepbreat
hbefor
eget
ti
ngoutand
approachedt
hehouse.
"Hi"someoneinsi
despokebef oreIcoul
deven
[Link] timpossi
bleformetosee
thepersonbutsti
llIwentinsi
deandayounggi r
l
pushedabr i
cktowardsmebef oreputti
ngatowel
overitf
ormet osit.
"Hi
"Igr
eet
edbefor
esi
tti
[Link]
ing,
the
smokewasn'
tsobadandIcoul
dmakeouta
womanchoppi
ngacabbageonatraynearthefi
re.
"Mahlaseyouarefi
nall
yhome"shespokebefore
[Link]
ledhouseIcoul
d
seehersmile.
Ididn'
tknowwhatt osaysoIdi
dwhatIdobestand
[Link]
owedmet ocryf
orawhil
e
beforeshesentthegi
rlt
ogocallsomeonenamed
[Link]
lgotupandlef
t.

*
***
**

Thesmokecl ear
edandIcoul dfinal
lyseethehouse.
Therewasat abl
[Link] dtwoplat
e
stovewi t
honedar [Link]
[Link] yveget
ableracknextt ot
hetabl
e.
Diff
erentlunchboxeswerest ackedont hetabl
eand
dishesont hewashingbasinont opofthebucket
underthet abl
e.
"Howlongdidi
ttakeyout
ofindthi
splace?
"She
askedaft
erput
ti
ngthepotonthefi
re.
"
Igotl
ostabi
[Link]
ovepastt
heschoolt
wicebef
ore
seei
ngwher
eIshoul
dtur
n"Il
aughedatmysi
ll
iness.
"I
thappens"shewentqui [Link]
si
lencewasst arti
ngtogettomewhenshef inall
y
spoke"Mymot herusedtotalkaboutyoubeforeshe
[Link]
iedt ol
ookforyoubutt heKhumalos
saidyouwer emar ri
edandlivi
[Link]
didn'
tgiveusanyt hi
ngmore"
Myuncl eswer en'
thappywi thmewant ingt of i
nd
myf ami l
[Link] ywant edmet ofi
xt hingswi th
Nqubekoandbeast rongwoman.I twasst r
ange
thataccordingtothem myst rengthwasme
remainingmar ri
edt osomeonewhocheat edand
admi t
tedonlymar ryingmebecausehewasf eel
ing
guil
[Link] oldmet [Link] dn'tcare
aboutmebutonl ycar edaboutwhatt heycoul dgain
withmebei ngawi fet [Link] i
vat edmei nto
l
ookingf ormyr ealfami l
y.
"I
'm divor
[Link]
e"Ir
epli
ed
bef or
ebit
[Link]
hey
rejectedmeaswelli
tmeantIwasgoingtobeall
alone.
"Butyouaresti
[Link] sewi llcome
[Link] ds? "Sheaskedbef or eshe
stoodupandempt iedthelitt
lebi
tofcooki ngoilon
thepotbefor
epl acingitont hefi
[Link]
couldtel
lshewasn' [Link] ds
walkedinandst aredatmef oramomentbef or
e
theywenttositnexttoher .
"Unfor t
[Link] scarri
age"Ir eplied
befor ethememor ymademecr i
nger epeat edly.I
washeal i
ng,physi callyitwast hescarl eftbut
emot ionall
yandpsychol ogicall
yitwasadi ff
er ent
[Link]'tsleepf orovert hreehour swithout
waki ngupf rom ani ghtmaret hatremi ndedmeof
[Link] nal waysf eltsor ealeveni na
[Link] dtheni ghtmar esIsleptj ustforabi t
andwakeuponl yt osl eepagai nforabi tt ost op
mysel ffrom droppi ngdownoutoft hebl ue.
"Sorr
[Link]
[Link]
haveanotherkidwhenyouwant "shespoke
cheerf
ull
yandInoddednotwant ingt otel
lherthat
themiscarr
iagelef
tmemor ethanj ustscarr
edbut
withapossibil
it
yofneverhavi
ngaki [Link]
somethi
ngIneverful
lyconfi
rmedbutt
hepossi
bil
it
y
wasther
ejustwait
ingforthemaninasui
tto
conf
ir
m.
"
Soar
etheyyour
s?"Ipoi
ntedt
heki
ds.
"Oneismineandanot herisDabul a'
[Link]
i
smi ne"sheturnedandpoi nt
edt hefir
stchi
ld"This
i
sAwet [Link] herlefthim andwentt o
Johannesburgwhenhewasonl y3mont [Link]
oneisNtethel
elohei smi [Link] ethesame
age"shepointedthesecondchi l
d.
"Hel
loNt
ethel
eloandAwet hu"Igr
eet
edt
hem bef
ore
off
eri
ngahandf orahandshake.
Theybothr ushedtoshakemyhandbef orethey
wentbackt [Link] dn'tneedt oasktoknow
thatt
heirli
fewasn' tr
eal l
[Link] d
andhadsomanyhol esont [Link]
room wasliketheout sidewhenr ai
[Link]
windowshadsomemi ssingglasseswhi chmeantit
wasr eal
lycoldintheeveni [Link] aal
whichmeantt heyhadnol i
[Link]
lli
twas
homeandIwasgl adtobet her
e.
*
***
**

Dabulaarri
vedaft
erawhi lealr
eadycarr
yingacoca
colabott
[Link] kedintheboysshriekedin
excit
ementandstartedcalli
nghim uncl
eDabul a
[Link]
fi
nall
ydidsitdownandl ookedatmehesmi l
ed.
"[Link] ookl
ikeAuntNcengi
.Doesn'
tshe
Phi
lel
wa? "Heaskedtheladyandsheagr
eedbef
ore
shewalkedout.
"Pl
easeri
nsethemugCeli
[Link]
hir
sty"
hetol
dthegir
lbef
orehestoodupf
rom t
heot
her
bri
ckandoff
eredahandshake.
"WelcomehomeSi
si"headdedst
il
lshaki
ngmy
hand.
"
Thankyou"Ir
epl
iedbef
oreIst
art
edcr
yingagai
n.
"Don'
tcryanymor
[Link]
lyhome"he
squeezedmyshoulderbef
orelet
ti
nggo.
Ir
eal
lywant
edt
ost
opcr
yingbutIcoul
dn'
[Link]
cryi
ngbecausetheywer
emyf ami
[Link]
exci
tedt
oseemeandal lthi
sti
meIdidn'teven
knowaboutthem.
"For
[Link] hephot
osar er
eall
yold"sai
d
Phil
elwawalkingbacki
[Link]
handedthealbum tomeandIlookedatit
.
Dabulamovedcloserandstar
tedpoi
nti
ngoutwho
[Link] hem weredeadbutsti
llhe
point
edthem andexplai
nedhowtheyallf
itthe
famil
ytr
[Link] ossmyf at
her's
photohetookitoutandhel
dittome.
"
Thi
sisyourf
ather
"
Itookthephot
oandl ookedatit
.Themanst ar
ri
ng
backatthecamer awasast r
angerbutsomehowI
wasn'tangr
yathimf ornotseei
[Link]
wasokaywher everheendedup.
Thegir
lhandedmethedri
nkandIthankedher
bef
oreputt
ingthemugdownbecauseIdidn'
twant
tomakeami st
akeofr
uini
ngthephotos.
"It
otall
yfor
got
.Iboughtsomebreadonmyway
[Link]
"Istoodupandpl
acedt
he
al
bum ont hebrickbef or
ewal kingout [Link]
boysf ol
lowedmeandIwasgr atefulbecauseI
neededt hem tocar r
yt heplasticbackt ot hehouse.
Buyingsomet hingwasNqubeko' si deasayingit
wasn'tagoodi deat oar r
iveempt yhandedi n
someone' [Link] ead,largepocketof
Simbadi ff
erentflavorsandabagofor angesand
[Link] heboyst helighterpl ast
icsand
carr
iedther estmysel fbeforewewentbacki nthe
house.

*
***
***
*

Phil
elwacookedanddishedupforushercabbage
[Link]
keIhaven'
teat
eninawhilebefor
e
Celi
wewashedt hedi
shesandthenDabulalef
t
sayi
ngheneededt oseeafri
end.
"Areyousleepi
ngwit
hustoni
ght?
"AskedAwet hu
surpri
singmebecauset
heyhardl
ytal
kedandIeven
thoughtmaybetheywer
etooyoungjustt
all
er.
"
Yesi
'
m st
ayi
ngt
oni
ght
"Ir
epl
iedbef
orel
ooki
ngat
[Link]
er6:30andIhadamessage
f
rom Nqubekoaski
ngifever
ythi
ngwasgoi
ngwell.
"Weshoul
dgot ot
heroom befor
[Link]
don'
thaveacandl
e"sai
dNt et
hel
eloprobabl
ynot
wanti
ngtobetheonl
yonenotsayinganythi
ng.
"
Don'tembarr
[Link] lonel
eft
"
r
epl
iedPhil
elwaquickl
ysoundi
ngl
ikeshewas
r
eal
lyembarrassed.
"I
sthest or
eclose?Wecangetmore"Iaskedwhi
le
l
ookingatt heel
ectr
ici
tymet
eront
hewal l
.The
l
ightbulbwasthereaswell
.Whydi
dt heyneed
candles.
"Ther
eisastor
ebutt
heywer
eoutofst
ockear
li
er"
sherepl
ied.
"
Doesn'
ttheel
ect
ri
cit
ywor
k?"
"
Itdoes.I
'
lll
oadthenumberstomor
rowaft
er
r
eceivi
ngthegrantmoney"sher
epl
ied.
"[Link]'
ll
buyitonli
ne"Ioffer
edalr
eadytaki
ngoutmyphone.
Sheseemedt ohesi
tat
eabitbefor
eshecal
ledthe
numberoutf [Link]
edonmyphoneand
boughtt
het okenbeforecal
li
ngoutthenumberst
o
Cel
[Link] eamedwhent hel
ightcameon
andIcouldn'thel
pbutsmi l
etoo.
"
Thankyou"sai
dPhi
lel
wanotl
ooki
ngatme.
Havingt hel
ightencour agedt heboyst ostart
playingandCel i
wepul l
edoutherbooksandbegan
doinghomewor kwhi lePhi lel
wapol i
shedt hei
r
schoolshoessayi ngt henextdayi twasgoi ngt obe
easiert ogetreadyf orschool .Iaskedherquest i
ons
aboutt heareaandt henei ghbour [Link] ol
dmea
l
otoft hi
ngsaboutt hepl aceevent hepeopl eIdidn't
[Link] ami lywasdi videdl ikemost
[Link] el efttot akecar eoft hemsel ves
andDabul ahadpassedhi sMat r
icwi thflyi
ng
colour sbuthecoul dn'tst udyf urthernowhewor ked
i
naf arm andcar ri
edt her esponsi bil
ityofbeingt he
headoft [Link] l
elwaal sopassedherMat ri
c
butitwasn' treal
lygoodmar [Link] iwewasherf irst
chil
dandshehadherwhenshewasdoi nggr ade10.
Theboycameaf t
ershewasdonewi thschooland
shet houghtlovingsomeoneel seaf tergetti
ngover
Celiwe'[Link] atherwasal sogonel eaving
hertot akecar eoftheki [Link] dn'tsound
bitt
[Link] ikesomeonewhohad
acceptedherl ifeandwasmaki ngt hebesti fi
[Link]
familyturnedt heirbacksont hem soonaf terher
mot herhaddi [Link] eleftaloneandr el
iedon
eachot [Link] l
ePhi l
elwaraisedthekidsDabul a
wasoutt herewor kingsot heycoul deatandsee
[Link] redt hei
rstrengthbutIdi dn'tsay
i
toutl oudj ustyetinsteadIsmi l
edandl ookedatt he
kidsandt hesi sterIneverhadbef ore.
"
Everyt
hingisgoi
ngwell
.Thankyousomuch
Nqubeko"Isentt
het
exttoNqubeko.
Chapt
er24

Iwokeupi naweirdplaceanditt
ookmeamoment
torememberthatIwasn'ti
naf amil
iarpl
[Link]
onthethinspongeont hefl
ooraf
terhavingthe
spri
ngspokemeal loveronthemattressPhilel
wa
off
[Link]
ngouchloudert han
i
ntendedsheaskedwhatwaswr ongandIt oldher
thespringswer [Link] eltbad
wantedt ogiveuphersponget oputovert he
mat t
[Link] hekidst othebed
beforesleepingonthefloor
.Atleastthem were
l
ighterinwei ghtsoi
twasgoi [Link] t
erwe
didthatIsleptsowellwithnonightmares.
"Morni
ng"sai
[Link]
oll
edover
andlookedather
.Shewasdressedi
nherschool
uni
formlooki
ngreall
ygood.
"Morni
[Link]
meisit?
"IaskedbecausePhi
lel
wa
tol
dmei twasdanger
oustosleepwit
hthephone
undert
hepill
owsowel ef
tourphonesonthesmall
tabl
eaboveourheads.
Shelookedatt hephoneandsai ditwasal most7.I
noddedbef [Link] he
morningcoldwasst i
llt
[Link] azatshe
mount ai
nwasst i
llcover edinfogwhichmeantwe
neededt oenjoythesunwhi l
eitl
[Link]
pl
acest hisplacehar dlyhadgoodweat herallday.
Youwakeupt obl
ueski esbutitcouldbecol dand
dri
zzl
ingbef [Link] oodoutsi
def ora
momentbef oregoingbacki nsi
dejustintimewas
Cel
iwewasbusyf
oldi
ngt
hebl
anket
s.
"
I'
lldoi
[Link]
ereadyf
orschool
"Ist
oppedher
.
"
Idon'
tmi
nd"shepr
otest
edsoundi
ngsoi
nnocent
.
"
Idomi
nd"Ismi
ledatherbef
oret
aki
ngover
.
WhenIwasdonetheboyswalkedinalldressedand
t
hei
rhandsinthei
rpocket
[Link]
eltgreatwithout
t
hem havi
ngtosayit
.
"
MorningAunt
"theygr
eet
edatoncel
iket
heywer
e
t
rai
ned.
"Mor
ninggentl
[Link]
?"Iaskedstil
l
admir
ingthei
rener
[Link]
i
nnocentitmademewantt oki
ssthem butIdidn'
t
wantthem t
othi
nkI'
m weir
d.
"
Mamawon'
thur
rywi
thmybackpack"compl
ained
Awet
hu
"
Iheardt
hat
.Youbr
okethezipper
"repl
iedPhi
lel
wa
wal
kingi
nwit
htwobackpacks.
Bothki
dscheer
edbef
oret
heyturnedthei
rbackst
o
hersoshecanstr
apt
hei
rbackpacksonthem.
"
Yousl
eptwel
l?
"Sheaskedwhi
lesmi
li
ngatt
hem.
"
Ver
[Link]"Ir
epl
iedandcont
inuedt
ofol
d
t
hebl
ankets.
"Cel
iweIaskedyout
odoi
t"shel
ookedather
accusi
ngly.
"AndIst
oppedher
.I'
m al
mostdone"Irepl
iedand
savedCel
iwefr
om hermother
'saccusi
ngtone.
"
Nobackpai
ns?
"
"
[Link]
dn'
tevenhavebaddr
eams"
Shenoddedandsai dnothi
ngunti
ltheboyssai
d
[Link]
searchedforcoi
nsbeforegi
vingt
hem R2eachand
gaveCeliweR5.
"
Andwhatdowesay?
"AskedPhi
lel
wal
ooki
ngat
t
hem.
"
ThankyouAuntThembeka"t
heyal
lsai
datonce.
Inoddedandt r
iednottogetallemotionalaboutit
.
Phil
elwaarguedthati
twasst i
llearl
ybutot herki
ds
werealr
eadywal ki
ngupt hepaththatledtoschool
soherargumentwasr eject
ed.
"Celi
weifi
'm notbackbytheti
meyougethome
pleasedon'
tlett
hem playi
ntheiruni
for
m.I
'
m goi
ng
[Link]? "
"Okaymama"sher
epl
iedbef
orel
ooki
ngatme"
Wil
l
youbeher
e?"
"I
'
m goingt
oPl azat
oo.I
fit
'snotcr
owdedwewillbe
here"Ir
epl
iedandIcoul
dtell
theywer
ehappy.
West oodout si
deandwat chedthengount i
lthey
di
sappear [Link]'shutwaslocked
outsi
deandPhi l
elwasaidheleftearl
yonbusydays.
Whenst andingout si
destar
tedgetti
ngtomeIwent
backinsideandsweptt hefloorbefor
egoingt othe
ki
tchen.
"
Soyougetni
ght
mar
es?
"Sheaskedoutoft
hebl
ue
"
[Link]
ncet
hemi
scar
ri
age"
"
Whatar
eyoudr
eami
ngabout
?"
Istar
tedtel
li
ngheral
lmybaddr [Link]
miscarr
iage,t
hepai
nthatIcanl
iter
aryfeeleveni
na
dream,NombusoandPhumel el
elaughingatme,
myuncl esyel
li
ngatmebecauseIfail
edtor emai
n
marri
[Link]
oldhereveryt
hingandbyt
het
imeIwas
donewewer ebothcryi
ng.
"
Soal
ltheset
hingshappenedt
oyou?
"
"[Link]
[Link]
ket
heyarehappeni
ngover
andoveragain"Iwipedt
het
ears
"Haveyout ri
edt herapy?Itseemsl iket hesearethe
thingsyouar ereli
vinginyoursl [Link] he
mi scarr
iageDabul awillneedtodosomet [Link]
willhavetogoseeUncl eFezelaandaskhi m what
needst obedonet oacknowl edgethechi l
[Link]
youst i
llneedtobewel comedher epr oper l
y"she
startedchewingherl i
psl i
keshewast hinkingabout
somet hingbig.
"
Wel
comedhow?
"
"[Link] ul
lyt
heypaidthedamagest o
[Link] hingseasi
[Link] ll
needtosavef [Link]
heywer epaid.
Ifnot,
thenwewi l
lneedtofi
ndawayt osortitout
.It
mighttakesomet imebutwehavet odoit"she
soundedsomat uredandIcouldfeelmyselfjust
shri
nkingsmal l
erandsmal l
er.
"
I'
m notcomfor
tabl
ewitht
alki
ngt osomeoneabout
t
his.I
tmakesmef eel
li
keafool"Icameclean.
Shel
ookedatmecl
ear
lysur
pri
sed.
"
Myf
akef
ri
endsi
ssue"Iexpl
ained
"
Why?
"
"BecauseIwassost upi
[Link]
t.
Nqubekocontroll
edeveryt
hinginmylif
[Link]
boughtmef r
iends!!
"
"Whywouldhisacti
onsmakeyouf eelst
upi
d?"She
askedli
keshedidn'
treal
lyseehowthismeantiwas
abigfool
.
"
Becauseishoul
dhaveseeni
t"
"Notknowi
ngasecr etisnotbeingfool
[Link]
s
[Link]'
shim whoneedshelp
[Link] i
endshipforhi
swif e?
"
Welookedateachandl
[Link]
eact
ion
andheratmyreact
iont
ohers.

*
***
***
**
Wel efthomeaf t
er8andarri
vedinaverycr owded
[Link] otal
kheroutofli
ningtor ecei
ve
hergrantatthestoreandwewithdrawont heATM.
Shewasconvi ncedshewasn'tgoingtoreceiveital
l
butshedi dandimademyownwi thdrawalbef or
e
wewentt oshopping.
"Thembeka!
!"Someonecal
ledoutmynamemaki
ng
usbothstoppushi
ngthetr
oll
ey.
I
twasSont
oandMyexmot
heri
n-l
aw.
Wegr eet
edthem andIintroducedPhi
lel
watothem.
Theywer ever
[Link]
cedbutthey
di
dn'tseem bi
tt
eraboutit.
Aft
ermakingsmallt
alkandwatchingmyexmother
i
n-l
awbeingsofri
endlytoPhi
lel
wawesai dour
goodbyeandcont
inuedwithourshoppi
ng.
"Ar
eyousur et
heyarer
elat
edt othatwei
rdmanyou
marri
ed?"Sheaskedwhi
lepicki
ngupwashing
powder.
"
Maybehewasadopt
ed"ir
epl
iedandwel
aughed.
Shoppingtookushour [Link]
[Link] orCel
iweand
underwearsforall
.Whenwedr ovebackhomet he
weatherwasnol ongerwar m andpleasant
.Itwas
coldandthefogwascompl etel
ycoveringthe
mount ai
[Link]'traini
[Link]
ed
drivi
nginthemudwor seredmudbecauset he
placehadredclayallover.
"Dabul
aisback"sai
dPhilel
waaswesawt
hesmoke
comingoutoftheki
tchen.
Thepl acewasn'[Link] ybehi
nd.
Manypeopl ehadl argehomesbui ltbybricksand
properroofi
[Link] ojotanks,satell
it
etv,
somemor ethanonecar sparkedout si
deand
properfencewi t
[Link] ethose
sl
owl ymakingt hei
rwayt her
et henusst uckinthe
bottom butsti
llDabulaandPhi l
elwadidn'tshow
anyf r
ustrat
ion.
Dabul
ahel
pedtakethethi
ngsoutofthecarbef
ore
heser
vedusteasayingweneededtokeepwarm.
Phi
lel
wacookedwhi
lewesatar
oundt
hef
ir
eand
talkedaboutourgr owi [Link] dn'tgrowup
[Link] hei rmot herwentt owor kin
Johannesbur gthef ami lydidn'
tt r
eatthem wel lso
theybecamel oyaltoeachot [Link]
awayandt hef ami l
yl eftthem theybot hpromi sed
eachot hert omaket hehomest andandgi vethe
kidsal i
feofhomeoverhomel [Link] oud
oft hem butst il
liwant edhi mtogetal i
censeand
getanot herj obt hatwasgoi ngt opayhi m mor e.I
f
hewant edt ogetmar ri
edheneededabet t
erjob.
Phi l
elwaneededt ogobackschoolandi mproveher
mat ricbeforeshet rainedf oranyski l
[Link]'t
sayi toutloudj usti ncaseicoul dn'tdoitall.
Wewer est i
llt
alki
ngandlaughingwhenmyphone
remindingmet hatther
ewerepeoplewhoknewme
outsi
det hi
shome.I twasKwaneleandt hel
astt
ime
wespokeit oldhim iwasgett
ingdivor
[Link]
dn'
t
hidehishappinessbecausethatmeantiwas
avail
ableforhim now.
Iwentoutsi
detospeaktohi
m soiwoul
dn'
tneed
mycousinstokeepquiet
.
"
Sowhenar
eyoucomi
ngback?
"Heaskedwheni
t
oldhi
m iwasst
il
lathome.
"
Inadayort
[Link]
ost
artwor
knextweek"
"
Great
.Ican'
twai
ttoseeyou"hesoundedcheer
ful
.
Iwasalsolooki
ngf or
war
dtoseeinghi
m,bei
ngat
workbutihatedleavi
ngt
hispl
ace.
Wespokeaboutfewmor ethi
ngsbef or
ewesaidour
goodbyesandendedthecall
.Ist
oodagainthewall
andtookadeepbreat
hbeforeireal
izedicoul
dhear
them.
"
Sosheneedssomecl
eansi
ng?
"AskedDabul
a
"
[Link]
hinkagoatwil
[Link]
oask
Uncl
eFezela"sher
epl
ied.
"
Butwecan'
tdoacleansi
ngcer
emonybef
ore
wel
comi
ngherfi
rst
"headdedaft
eramoment.
"Whi
chmeansweneedtoknowi
fdamageswer
e
pai
d.I
fitgoeswr
ongi
tcoul
dmessupherl
if
e"
"I
'l
lgoaskhi mtomor
[Link]
hinkwecansave
foragoat?Icanaskmybosstosel
lmeonewith
halfpr
ice"sai
dDabul
a.
"[Link]'
l
lgoaskMadam ifsheneeds
extr
[Link]
antwil
lhaveto
coverf
oodonly"shesuggest
ed.
Myeyesf i
ll
edupbecausetheywer et
alki
ngabout
hel
[Link] r
uggli
ngast heywer ebutsti
llt
hey
[Link]
inki
ngt hetearsawayI
coughedtoannouncethatiwasr etur
[Link]
walkedi
nif oundmyteanexttothef i
retokeepit
warm.
Wecontinuedt
ochatunti
lPhi
lel
waf i
nished
cooki
[Link]
dt hedishes
aft
erandDabulal
eftl
eavi
ngusalone.
"Iwantt
opayformywelcomeceremony.I'
llsave
upandcovert
hecosts"ineededt
oletherknow
befor
eshewenttol
ookf orworki
nafarm.
"Wedon'tevenknowhowmuchitwillcost
.Youar
e
yett
ostartwor ki
[Link]
usi
'
nsur
eli
vingcostare
moreinDur ban"
"
Theyarebutwemakei twor [Link]
ocontr
ibut
e
[Link]
aisalr
eadytakingcareofthef
amily.
Wehavet oshar
ethecosts"iargued.
"Let
sfindoutwhat'
sneededf
ir
standt
henwewi
ll
argueaboutthecost
s"
"
Fai
renough"iagr
eedandl
aughed.
"
I'
m gl
adyoucameThembeka"sheaddedaf
tera
moment.
"I
'm gl
adicametoo"shesmil
edandherhand
reachedf
orminebeforewesqueezedeachot
her
hands.
Chapt
er25

"Congratulat
ionsonyourf i
rstday"sayssomeone
[Link] ookupandt hereisalady
standingtherewithahugebunchofr [Link]
i
sr eadingacar dandsmi l
[Link] d
rememberhernamesi nceshewel comedmewi th
suchawar m att
it
udewhi l
eot herswer el
ookingat
mel i
keIdi dsomet hi
ngwr ongbutf ornowIst i
ckto
beingf r
iendl
y.
"
Aret
hosemi
ne"Ir
etur
nasmi
le
"
[Link]
sinl
ovewi
thyou"shehandsme
thefl
oorsandt [Link]
akethecar
dafter
andlookatit
.It'[Link]
e
takeandIcan'thelpbutsmile.
"
Thanksgi
rl
"shehastogoawaysoIcanl
ookatt
he
r
osesandnotthi
nkIdon'
tdeser
vet
hem.
Leavinghomewashar [Link]
lelwa
thr
eatenedt ocallandambul [Link]
fi
nall
ymadei ttoDurbanIcal l
edandcr i
edsome
moreaf terheari
ngtheirvoi
[Link] ssedthem al
ot.
Kwanel ewassomeoneIwentoutwi t
haftermy
i
nterviewandf orthefi
rstti
meeverIunder st
ood
whati tmeanttogooutonadat eandgobackt oan
empt yhouse.
"Doyoulikethem? "Heasksoundi ngli
keheis
sit
ti
ngbackont heoffi
cechai r
.Iimaginehi
m
smili
ngandhest i
llhasthedimpl esinonecheek
andInoticedhel i
kestouchingt hebackofhisneck
[Link] magineallthisandsmil
eto
myselfl
ikeasi l
lylovestruckteenager.
"
Ilovet
[Link]"
"
Youdeser
vet
[Link]
sitgoi
ng?
"
Ithi
nkaboutthequestionforamoment .Ear
li
erI
call
edhomeandt ol
dPhilihowmydaywasgoi ng.
Shewassoexci tedformeandi tmademefeel
bett
erabouthavingmycol leaguesl
ookatmelikeI
stol
ethei
rposit
ion.
"I
t'
[Link] ehour sthenI'
m headi
nghome"I
sayinaloweredvoi
cej usti
ncasesomeonei s
l
isteni
nginandtheystartsayingIdi
dsomething
wrong.
"
Ear
lyni
ght
?"
"Yes"Ihavesomanyr easonsofwant inganear ly
night
.Myhousei sempt [Link]
beautifulhousei nDalbri
[Link]
'sat hr
eebedroom
housewi t
ht wobathrooms, agarageandapool .
Thear eaisqui et
.It
'sclosertowor kandcloserto
[Link]
ngabouti tbutIhaven't
boughtenoughf urni
turebecauseIcamebackaday
beforemyi nter
viewandIwascal l
edt ost
artafter
[Link] dnothaveenought i
mef orshopping
butIboughtf oodandsomeessent ial
s.
"
[Link]
omor
row?Iknowi
t'
snott
he
weekendbutI
'
m sur
eyoudoeatevendur
ingt
he
week"
"YesIdoeat"[Link]
shasnever
happenedtomebef or
[Link]
om havi
ngacr ush
tobei
ngmar ri
edtosomeoneolderandneverasked
suchquest
ions.
Hi
slaughstopthesi
ll
ythought
[Link]
momentIwonderifI
'vesai
dsomethi
ng
i
nappropr
iat
e.
"
What
?"Iask
"Thiswi
llsoundsi
llybutIusedtohavethi
smad
crushonyoui nhi
ghschool"heconfessandI
'
m
almostknockedoffthechairbyt
his.
"
Forr
eal
?"
Helaughsandst artt
ell
ingmeabouthowheusedt o
watchmebutaf raidtoapproachmebecauseIonce
snappedatsomeguyandt hreatenedtotellmy
unclesifhedaretouchedmeagai [Link]
becauseIusedt ospendallmyt i
medaydr eaming
aboutthosesil
lymeetingatthebackoft heclasses,
remaini
nginschoolwhenal ltheother
swer egone
becauseyouar
ebusyki
ssingi
nempt ycl
assesand
al
lthatot
hert
hingst
heki
dsdidatschool
.
Wespeakf orfewmoreminutesbef
oresayi
ng
[Link]
om weir
dfir
stdayt
o
waybetterdayandI'
mfeeli
ngthesebut
terf
li
esi
n
mystomach.

*
***
**

ThedayendsandIl eavetheoff
icesafterthefi
rst
batchofpeoplehavelef
[Link]
edt oleavefir
stbut
i
t'sfi
rstdaysoIhavetoactli
keIdon'tmi ndadding
fewmor eminutes.
Thesecur
ityguar
dwavesatmeasIdriveoutandI
[Link]
ceandIwantt
or emai
nas
fr
iendl
yasIcanbe.
Igethomeaft
er15minut
esandki
ckedoffmy
shoesbef
oretur
ningt
heTVonsoitcankeepme
somecompany.
Somet
imesIdomi
ssmyf
akef
ri
endsandst
op
myselffrom call
ingt hem becauseeventhoughI
delet
edtheirnumber sbutyoucan'tdeletet
hem
from t
hemi [Link] ssshar i
ngabot t
leofwineand
l
aughingaboutever ythi
ngwehadseenatwor kand
thenlaughi
ngbecauseweseehowst upi
dwear e.
Thosememor iesarenowshovedi nsomecabi net
atthebackofmyheadbutt herei
snol ocksothey
keeppoppingupever ynowandt hen.
Tostopmysel
ffrom get
ti
ngal
lweakandmi
ser
abl
e
Ical
lPhi
lii
nst
ead.
"HeyCuz"shesoundscheerf
ulandIhearCel
iwe
teachi
ngAwet hut
ospel
lhisnameinthe
background.
"Imi
ssyouguys"Isi
tdownandtur
ndownt
heTV
sowecantal
klikeshei
ssit
ti
ngacr
ossme.
"
Youar
enotgoi
ngt
ost
artcr
yingar
eyou?
"
"
Iwon'
t"Il
ie.I
'
mtot
all
ytear
ingupal
ready.
"[Link]' twantyournewbossescall
ingt
he
doctor
sthinki
ngyouar [Link]
lbehere
whenyouvi si
t"sheistr
yingtocheermeupandI
havetostepoutofitbeforeshestar
tst
hinki
ngIam
unst
abl
esomehow.
"AndI'
m count
[Link]
eyouguyseating
toni
ght?Iwanttocookthesameformysel
f"I
expecthert
olaughbutshedoesn'
t.
"
It
schakal
akaandsausages"
"
Ihaveati
ninthecupboar
[Link].
Ki
sstheki
dsforme"
"Ki
ssyoursel
fforus"shelaughsbef
oresayour
goodbyeandIgetupt ocook.

*
***
**

Themeali
sallgoodandI '
m eat
ingwhil
ewatching
TVwhenmyphoner ings.I
t'
sNqubekoandhei sthe
l
astper
sonIexpectacallfr
om butIansweranyway.
"
Hel
lo"
"Ihatemyselff
orhurt
ingyou.
..
.Ireal
lymissyou
MaKhumal o"Hesoundsdrunkandi nacrowded
placebecauseIhearmusicbehi
ndhi m.
"Nqubeko"Iaskj
ustt
obesureevent
houghit
soundsexactl
yli
kehi
[Link]
nk
i
nt hemiddleoft
heweek.
"Ishouldhavel ovedyoubet t
[Link]. .
..
..
"
Someoneel seisspeakingandi tsoundsl i
kethey
aret r
yingt
ogethi mtoendt [Link]
arguingbeforet hecalli
sdroppedandI '
ml ef
tnot
surewhatj [Link] l
inghim
backbutNqubekoi sagrownman.I fhewant sto
drinkinthemi ddleoftheweekhei sall
owedt odo
so, soIdon'tcallbackandcont i
nueeat i
ngunt i
lI'
m
done.
Thephoner ingsagainj
ustasI'
m aboutt
ogetint
o
[Link] eensaysit
'sKwanel
eandIsett
leunder
theblanketbefor
eanswer i
ng.
"Di
dIwakeyou?"Heprobabl
ythi
nkshewokemeup
becauseIt
ookf
orevert
oanswer.
"No.I'
minbedalr
eadybutIwasn'
tasl
[Link]
eyou
sleepi
ng?"Hedi
dnot'
tsoundl
ikesomeonewho
wasi nbed.
"
No.I
'
m st
andi
ngatt
hedoorwonder
ingi
fIshoul
d
orshoul
dn'
t"
"
Whatdoyoumean?
"Idi
dnot
'tgeti
t.
"
It
'[Link]'
tst
opthinki
ngaboutyou.I
wanttodr
ivet
hereandkissyougoodnight
"
Morebut
ter
fl
iesi
nmyst
omachandIl
augh
ner
vousl
y.
"
Thatl
[Link]
rl
.Ineedt
oheari
tsomemor
e"
"I
t'
slat
eandther
eiswor
ktomor
row"Iwhi
sperf
or
nopart
icul
arr
eason.
"
Icancomebackear
lyandchangebef
oregoi
ngt
o
work"
Theshygir
linmewant
stosaynobutthedi
vor
cée
i
nmei ssayi
ngwhatar
eyougoi
ngtolosesoIgo
wit
htheadulti
nme.
"Callmewhenyouar
eatt
hegat
esoIcanopenup"
Ireply
"Seeyoujustnow"heendsthecallandIjumpout
ofbedbecauseI'm wear
ingaT-shir
tnotabeaut
if
ul
night
dress.I
'
m notsureifi
t'
sokaysoIchangeit
andwearani ght
dresswithamatchinggownand
brushmyt eethbefor
eremember i
ngt hatIbrushed
them alr
[Link] sondoi nthese
sit
uati
on.I'
m cluel
esssoIcallhomehopi ngPhi l
i
won'tthi
nkI'
m crazyandshei sn'
tasleepyet.
[Link]
llhearAwet
huin
thebackgr
[Link] eandshe
l
aughsbeforetel
li
ngmet or el
ax.
"
Doyouhavecondoms? "Sheasksandi
mmedi
atel
y
myexci
tementvani
shes.
"
Condoms?Why?
"
"Tobl
owt hem l
ikebal
[Link]
ecti
onsil
ly.
Surel
yyoudon'tthi
nkhej ustwantst
okissandsay
goodnight
"shemakesi tsoundli
keit
'sanobvi
ous
thi
ng.
"Idon'
thavecondoms"t hewholesext hingis
makingmeuncomf or
[Link] tworkwhen
i
t'ssomeoneyouar edoingitforthefir
stti
mewi t
h.
Doyouaskhi mifhewascondomsandi fhedoesn'
t
doyougi vehim somemoneyandt el
lhimt oget
them oryousay' Ohwellyourloss'i'
m noteven
sureifIsti
llwanttocontinuewiththis.
"[Link]
ingt
hem.I
f
heisaf oolhewil
lcomeempt yhandedandyouwil
l
havetot el
lhi
m [Link]"
"Shoul
dn'
tIcallhi
m andcancel
?It
'st
oosoon
anyway"Isuggesti
nstead
"Tosoonforwhat ?Youar esi
ngl
eandyoul i
ket he
guyandyouar [Link]
tt
leandit
'snota
marri
agepr [Link].I
t'stot
ally
okay"shedoesn' tlaughanditmakesmef eelbetter
.
Nothingsaysst upidli
kesomeonelaughingatyou.
"[Link]
'
m notbeingawhor
eifIhavesexwi
th
himjustmont
hsafterdi
vor
ce?
"Iaskjustt
obesure.
"Youarenot
.It
'sokaytobescaredandIfyoudon'
t
wanttohavesextellhi
m abouti
[Link]'
tfor
ce
you"
Itakeadeepbreat
handthankherfort
hetal
k
beforesayi
nggoodni
ghtpr
omisingtosendhera
texti
tsomethi
[Link]
bestandhangup.
Kwanel
earri
[Link]
e
andwai
tforhim atthedoorbefor
eclosi
ngitagai
n.
Whenheget soutofthecarInoti
ceheisnot
carr
yinganyt
hingwithhi
m.I'mtemptedtotellhi
m
str
aightt
hatwecan'tdoanythi
ngwithoutcondoms
butIstopmyself
.
"
Hey"hegr
eet
sandwr aphi
sar
msaroundme.I
l
ovehi
ssmell
.Itsaysi
'
m amanandi
'm cl
ean.
"Hey"Ir
epl
ybef
orewr
appi
ngmyownhandsar
ound
him.
"Yousmel
lgood"headdsaswewal
kinsi
det
he
house.
"[Link] oo"Ilockthedoorandpausefora
secondnotsur ewhatel [Link]
nkheseesthat
becausehest epscloserandl if
tsmychinbefor
e
[Link] sstakesmybreat
haway,
l
iteraryandIhavet opullawaysoIdon'tfai
nt.
"
Yout ast
egoodt
oo"headdsbef
oreheki
ssmy
f
orehead.
"Thanks"Irepl
yandhel
ooksatmef
oramoment
beforetaki
ngmyhandtohis.
"
Wher
ear
ewesl
eepi
ng?
"Hewhi
sper
sbef
orehi
s
handst
aysi
nmyneckandhi
sthumbbr
ushi
ngmy
j
aw.
"Throughthere"Ipointbutdon'
[Link]
hinkhe
getsitbecausehei snotmovingtoo
"Areyounervous?"Agai
nthevoi
cei
sawhi
sperand
Ithi
nkIloveitl
ikethi
s.
"
[Link]
stheonl
ymanI
'
veshar
edabed
wit
h"
Il
ookathim hopingtoseeasur pr
iseorahesitat
ion
butIseenonoft hati
nsteadIgetanot
[Link]
ti
meit'
slongerandhot t
[Link]
shandpul lmecloser
andIholdhisjacketoneachsideofhisbody.
"I
t'
[Link]
nki
'
m ner
voust
oo"Il
aughatt
hatbut
hedoesn't
.
"AndIdon'
thaveprot
ect
ion"Iaddandt
hist
imehe
smil
ebefor
ekissi
ngmyl i
psagain.
"Ihavei
t"hereplybeforehereachesbehindmeand
switcht
hel i
ghtoff
.Wewal khandandhandt othe
bedroom andIgetanotherki
ssbef orethegown
comesof fandhisjacketf
oll
owsbef orehisshi
rt
shor
tl
yfol
lows.
Whenhei shalfnakedhedirectmetobedandI
complybeforesit
ti
ngdownandhi m pul
li
ngmy
night
dressupbeforepul
li
ngi [Link]
handsreachesovertocovermyl adypartsbuthi
s
handgentlepushesthem away.
"
[Link]
eisnot
hingtohi
de"hedoesn'
tgi
veme
achancebefor
ehekissesmyli
psagain.
Myphonepi cksthi
smomentt oringandhereaches
overbeforehandi
[Link]'
sNqubekoandI
thi
nkaboutanswer i
ngjustasKwaneleki
sswhere
myf adi
[Link]
handputthephoneaside.
Ican'tt
[Link]
ghtnow.
Hiski
ssgoesuptomyni pplesandIl
etoutasound
andthephoner
[Link]
this
eyestel
li
ngmetogetitbutIcan'
t.
"
Maybeyoushoul
dtal
ktohi
m"hesaysi
toutl
oud.
"Wehavenothi
ngt otal
kabout"Irepl
yandkisshim.
[Link]
heredhim whenhe
wassleepi
ngwithNobuhleandhel ostt
hatpri
vil
ege
now.
Hel ooksatmeforamomentbeforeki
ssi
ngmylips
andIki sshi
m backhar
[Link]
odothisandi
'
m
ready.
Chapt
er26

I'
mi [Link] t
'sst
upidandIcouldgethurtbut
fornowI '[Link]
hebut t
erfl
ies
i
nmyst omachasIopenmyar msandsmel lthe
mannextt [Link] ssti
llsl
eepi
ngbuthishands
arearoundmeandIhavemi neoverhisarmsand
myonel [Link]
ingi
samazi ngandI
wantittolastforeverbutIknowthatsuchonl y
happeni nfai
rytales.
"
Mor ni
ng"hegr
eet
sandpl
ant
saki
ssonmy
f
orehead.
"
Morni
ng"Ir
epl
yandki
sshischesti
nst
[Link]'
t
r
iskhi
sget
ti
ngmymorningbr
eath.
"
Whatti
medoyoul eavet
hehouse?
"Heaskashe
r
eachf
orthephoneandturnt
hescreent
owar
dsme
t
oIcanseewhatti
mei si
t.
"I
nthenexthour
"thi
smeansIneedtogetupbutI
needhi
mt ogetupfi
rstbecauseI
'
m nakedandI
don'
twanthimtoseemenaked.
"SoIhavet
imetoimpressyouwithsomebr eakf
ast"
hedoesn'
twai
tformet oanswerandpr et
endt orub
myeyessoIdon'thavetoseehi
snakedbody.I t
wasokayduri
ngsexbutnowI '
mj ustnotthereyet.
"Idon'
[Link]'tbesur
pri
sedwhenyou
openhalfempt
ycupboards"
"I
t'
scool
.I'
l
lusewhatIget
.Getreadysoyouarenot
l
ate"hepul
lshi
st-
shi
rtonandleavesthebedr
oom
baref
oot
ed.
Iusethi
schancet
ograbmynight
dressandsl
ipi
t
onbefor
erushi
ngtot
hebedr
oom tobrushmyteet
h
fi
rst
.
Heissti
lli
nthekitchenwhenIret
urnandmaket he
bedbeforeshowering.I
t'
sagooddayandIpickan
out
fi
[Link]
owdr ess
anduseayel lowheadbandf
ormybr ai
dsandpick
gol
dsandals.
"
Breakf
asti
[Link]
"hecal
lsf
rom t
he
ki
tchenandIgrabmyphonebef or
egoingtosee
whathecreat
[Link]
sinvit
ingandheis
st
andingther
elikehei
shappywi t
hhimsel
f.
"Thislooksgood"Igetont
hechairandpi
ckt
hef or
k
beforestabbi
[Link]
watchesmeasIchewandswal l
ow.
"
And?
"HeaskswhenIdon'
tsayanyt
hing.
"
It
'[Link]"
"Eatupwhil
eIshower
"hekissmycheekandgo
backtothebedr
[Link]
dgetusedtot
his.
Myphonevi brat
ingt ell
smesomeonewant stosay
somet hi
ng.I
t'
sat extf r
om Philiaski
nghowt he
nightwent.I
'
llcallherwhenI '
m atwor kbecauseI
don'twantKwanel et ohearmegossi pwithmy
[Link]
ear ef ourmoremessagessayi ng
Nqubekocalledmesever alti
mest henightbefor
e
andmessagesf rom hi [Link]
ckt hefi
rstmessage
heissayinghemi ssesmeandwant sust otry
[Link] oanswer.
Twomor emessagesbegmet oanswerandt hen
thelastmessagesaysIdi dn'
thavetodot histohim
andhei ssor r
yf oreverythi
[Link]' tunderstand
andIdon' tcaresoIputt hephonedownandf ocus
oneat i
ngunt ilanothertextcomet [Link]'
s
Nqubekoagai n.I'
m annoyedbutIopent hetextand
thi
st i
mehei ssayingIbr okehi sheartbuthe
understandsbecausehedr ovemet oit
.Istil
ldon't
getitsoIignor [Link] ullyhewi l
lfi
nd
someonet omesswi thandl eavemeal one.

*
***
***

I'
mf ewmi nuteslate,notagoodi mpressionont he
seconddaybutst i
llIholdmyheadhi ghandheadt o
mydeskf eeli
ngl
ikeever yonecantellIhadsexand
thatitwaswayt [Link] dat
l
eastwai t90daysbutheySt eveHarveydi dn'
t
i
nventdat ingandrelati
[Link] usttryi
ng
[Link] 'mt r
yingtocomf ortmysel
f
hereandi t'
sworking.
"Youl
ookgood"thegi
rlf
rom yest
erdayi
sst
andi
ng
[Link]
sti
meshei sweari
nganame
taganditsayshernamei
sPr
ett
yandshei
saf
ront
desklady.
"
Thanks"Il
ookatherout
fi
tandit
'snotsomethi
ngI
woul
dwearbutshelooksgoodaswellsoIadd
"
Youlookgoodtoo"
"
Thembekar
ight
?"Sheaddhesi
tant
ly.
"Yes"Icant
ellt
herei
ssomet
hingshewant
stosay
butsheisn'
tsureyet
.
"
Youwer
emar
ri
edt
oNqubekoMbonambi
?"
Ishoul
dhaveknownbutstil
lIret
urnapol
it
esmil
e
[Link]'
tconti
nueforamomentandI
canfeeli
t'
saboutt
ogetreall
yawkwardnow.
"Hecheatedonmesowegotdi vor
[Link]'tknow
howmanyhewassl eepingwit
h"it
'suncal
ledfor
butIneedhertoknowt hati
fshewantsust oget
alongt
henNqubekoshoul dn'
tbepartofour
conver
sations.
Shedoesn'
tseem surpri
seandshedoesn'
thur
ryof
f
i
nembar r
assmentinsteadshepul
lsachai
randsi
t.
"
Thenhemustr
eal
lyhat
ehi
msel
fri
ghtnow"she
turnstoherphoneandpr esssever albuttonsina
hurrybeforetur
ningthescreent owar dsme" Thisi
s
mycousi [Link] i
nkingl [Link] m andhis
girl
fr
iendhadaf i
[Link]"Igi vehera
knowi nglooksoshecanseet heer ror"Sorry,I
[Link] hear gumentand
stopsmycousi nfrom r
uiningi tf
urtherbyt aking
somegi [Link] esoi mpr [Link] r
yhe
wasn'tthatathome"
Inodandsmileathersoshedoesn'
tthi
nkIhave
someunfi
nishedbusiness.
Thesil
encestar
ttogettohersoshestandsupand
sayshehassomewor kwaiti
ngforher
.Iwatchher
walkawaybeforeget
ti
ngbusywiththerealr
eason
whyI'
mt her
e.

*
***
**

Thedaygoessmoot handunli
keyester
day,t
odayI
l
eavetheoffi
cefi
rstandnotcar
ethatsomepeople
aregossi
pingaboutme.I
t'
sanof f
icesopeople
gossi
pandI'm usedt
othat
.Ioncetr
endedon
soci
almedi
asoatsomepoi ntt
he'Idon'
tgivea
damn'gi
rli
nsidemehastowakeupandt akeover
.
Thephoner i
ngsj
ustasIreachthemallf
orbread
andmilk.I
t'
sKwanele.I
t'
safif
thcal
lofthedayand
Ican'
tgetenoughofhisvoi
ce.
"
Areyoui
nacr
owdedpl
ace?
"
"I
'
m buyingsomebr eadandmi l
kbeforegoing
home"am Ibeingawhor eforwishi
nghecancome
overagaintoni
ght
?I'm notsur
ebutjustthi
nking
abouthim hasmeallwarm andandf uzzy.
"Isee.I'
m stil
latwor
[Link]
hinkIcoul
dbeworkingl
ate.
Const r
uctioncanbeli
kethat
.Doyouhaveplans
tonight?"
"Cook,eatandsl
[Link]
'spr
ett
[Link]
de
workinglat
[Link]
ans
yoursel
f?"
Therei
ssilencebefor
eIhearsomeonecallhi
s
[Link]
keawomanandt hatwipesthe
gri
nonmyf acei
mmedi at
ely.
"I
'
llcal
lyoubackThembeka"t
hel
inegoesdead
aft
er.
Thi
sfil
lsmymindwithdoubtbutIt
ellmysel
fthat
notal
[Link]
dn'
tpunish
Kwanelef
orNqubeko'
ssins.
Thestor
eisempt
ysoIbuyever
ythi
ngIneedbef
ore
headi
nghome.
Livi
ngal onehassomebenef i
tswheni tcomest o
cleani
ngandcooki [Link] eftthere,youf i
nd
thereunmovedandi fyoucl eanupaf teryourselfi
t
[Link],whenyouar et oobusyt o
cookyoucanhavebr eadandsl [Link] si
sme
[Link] kinIkicktheshoesof fand
[Link] keven
duringlunchbecausePr et
tyinvi
tedher sel
fintomy
tableandwoul dn'
tstoptal
kinguntilwehadt ogo
back.
"Sohowdi
ditgo?
"Shedoesn'
tbeatar
oundt
he
bush.
"
Itwasgood"I
'
m unabl
etost
opsmi
li
ng.
"
[Link]
ail
s.I
'
m si
tt
ingout
sidebecauseIdon'
t
wantt
hei
nnocentear
stoheart
[Link]
alk"
"I
twasreall
[Link] l
ingt
hesheets
andsayi
ngt hi
ngsIdon'tnor
[Link]
ly
knowshowt odoit"I
'
m allgi
gglyandexcit
[Link]
weir
dendingofthecallandthewomanonhi send
i
slongforgott
en.
"I
'm gl
adyouenjoyedi
[Link]
vei
t"shesounds
exci
tedaswell
.
"I
twasr eall
[Link]
ledme
somanyt i
[Link] ngI
brokehi
shear tandot herr
ubbi
shIdidn'
t
underst
and"
"
Whatdoest
hatmean?
"
"
Youwillneverknowwi t
[Link]
t
i
sI'
m notinter
[Link]
uinedmyevening
wit
hendlesscall
s"
"
Sohecal
ledwhi
leyouwer
ebusydoi
ngi
t?"
"[Link]
[Link]?"I
fitwas
someoneel setheymighthavechangedthei
rmi
nds
aboutmet hinki
ngI'
m playi
ngsomegames.
"I
tdoesn'
[Link]
eak
messagecameinthemorning?
"Sheisaskingl
ike
sheistr
yingt
osol
vethebigmystery.
"
Yes"
"
Wherewasyourphonewhi
leyouandKwanel
e
wer
ebusy?
"
"
Iputi
tasi
[Link]?
"
"Letmehangupandcheckyourcallhi
stor
[Link]
i
fyoudidn'tacci
dent
all
yanswerNqubeko'
scall
.
Whywoul dhebesayingyoubrokehi
sheart?
Check"shecommandsandendt hecall
.
Shedoesn'tknowNqubekoatallbutst
il
lIdeci
deto
puthersuspici
onateaseandcheckthehist
ory.
Ri
ghtther
emyphonesaysIrecei
vedacallf
rom
Nqubekoandi
tlast
edf
orover3mi nut
es.
"
And?
"SheaskwhenIanswerhercal
l.
"
Ithi
nkyoucoul
dber
ight
"
"
[Link]
ythi
nksyouansweredonpur pose
t
ohurthi
m"whensheput si
tli
kethatIgetthi
s
i
mageofNqubekosit
tingont
hecouchl i
steni
ngto
memoanovert
hephone.
"WhatdoIdo?
"Thisisthemomentwher
emymi nd
deci
destogoblankandthebi
ggi
rli
nmei ssi
lent.
"
Maybeyoushoul
dcallhi
m [Link]
or
t
hesexbutf
orthemist
[Link]
hinki
t'sdecentthi
ng
t
[Link]
ty"
Phil
isoundsmor ecleverthanmesoIt akeher
advisewit
houtanydoubt .IfIlett
hisgowi t
hout
tel
li
nghim hewillt
hinkIdidi [Link]
o
saymypar tandlethim decideifhewant stogoon
thi
nkingI
'mlyingorwhat ever.
"
I'
llcal
lyoul
aterCuz"
Shewi
shesmegoodl
uckbef
orehangi
ngup.

*
***
**

Itr
yhisphoneagainbutitgoestovoicemailsot
he
opti
onistodrivet
ohiswor kpl
aceandhopehei s
del
ayedbecauseIdon'twantt ogot
ohi shouse.
Thetri
pisfastbecauseeveryonei
sheadinghome
sother
ei slesstraff
[Link]
telaneispacked
andIcanseet heannoyanceineveryone'
sfacesas
Ifl
[Link]'tNqubekoI'
llbestuckther
einless
then10mi nutesfrom now.
Thesecur i
tyguardisniceandr ecogni
zeeasily
beforetell
ingmethebossi sstil
linsi
[Link]
l
uckyst arsandhopeIdon' tseeanyoneelsebut
hi
m.I '
m notupt ofaki
ngasmi l
[Link]
staysthesamei fyoudivorcethebosseveni fyou
andhi m areinabett
erplace.
Ibumpt oamanasIexi tt
heli
[Link]
esandnod
withoutsayi
[Link]
iceisqui
etindi
cat
ing
thatmosthavel
eft
.It
sheadingtosixaf
terall
.
Ther
eisnooneinthef
rontdesksoIheadst
rai
ght
toNqubeko'
sof
fi
ceandknock.
"Sure"her
epl
iesandIwal
kin."
Thembeka"helooks
surpri
seandputssomet
hingonthedeskbef
ore
getti
ngup.
"Hi
"Igreetandwonderhowexact
lydoIst
artt
he
expl
anati
on.
"
MaKhumal
o"hedoesn'
tsoundcheer
fulatal
l.I
t
hinkIseeangeri
nhi
seyesbuthesmi
les.
"Whathappenedl
astni
ghtl
astwasami
stake.I
didn'
tmeantodothat
"
"Soyoudidn'
tmeant
oletmehearyoumoanhis
name?"Thesmil
eisgoneandIrecogni
zet
heangr
y
[Link].
"Iwasi [Link] hinkImi ghthavetouched
thephonebymi stakeandt hecallgotconnected.I
wasn'tawar e.I'm notthatpersonatall"anotherpart
ofmesaysIshoul dn'thavecomeandIowehi m no
[Link] atenow.I'm hereandhei s
standingi nfrontofme.
"Youdidn'tdoitsoIcanknowthatyouwereright
aboutfindingsomeoneelse?
"Iremembersaying
thesewor dsinangerbuti
twasjustangert
alki
ng
thatday.
"
No.I
twasn'
tatal
l"
"Sowashereal
lyt
hatgood?"Thequest
ionis
unexpect
edandI'
mtemptedtosayfarbet
terbutI
don'
tseehumourinhi
seyessoIdecidetoleti
t
pass.
"Di
dhetakeyouf
rom behi
ndwithapil
lowbelow
youst
omachbecausethat
'swhenyou...
..
."
"
Pleasedon'
tdot
hisNqubeko"
"Whynot?YouandIf uckedbabygi
[Link]
edmy
namesomanyt [Link] hatst
untyou
pull
eddoesn'
[Link] ythi
s
mor ni
ngbutnowseeingyouheregivesmehope
thatyouar
[Link] llwait
MaKhumal o"
Ist
epbackandpusht
hedoorwi
derbef
orel
ooki
ng
athi
m agai
n.
"Icamet [Link]
didn'
[Link]
evening"Iwalkawayf eelingsostupidforhavi
ngt o
comeal lthewayj ustforNqubekot oactli
kethi
s.
"Letmewalkyouout
"hisvoi
cesoundlikeheis
speaki
ngdir
ectl
ytomyear.I
'm wal
kingli
keamad
womanandhedoesn'tseem bot
her
[Link]
breaki
ntoarunbutt
hatwil
lmakemef eeleven
worse.
"
[Link]'
twant
Kwanel
[Link]
readyhaveadaughterwi
thhi
s
wi
fe"headdsbef
orepressi
ngt
heli
ft.
Ishoul
dspeakbutsomehowthewor
dswon'
tcome
outsoIgeti
nandpressthegr
oundf
loor
.
Chapt
er27

"Hel
lo"heanswer saft
erthefourthri
ng.I'
m sobbing
l
ikeachi l
dbutsomehowImanaget osayt hewords.
Askinghimifhei sr
eall
ymar ri
[Link]' tr
epl
y
ri
ghtawaywhi chmeansi t'
[Link]
[Link] l
lsaysomething
l
ike'that
'scr
azy.I'
m notmar r
ied'butther
eissil
ence.
Sil
enceisneveragoodanswer .
"
Areyouhome?
"
"Justtel
lmet hetr
[Link] Iasidechick?
"I
yellandalmostthrowthephoneoutofthewindow
butIstopmysel f
.It'
smyphoneandmycousi ns
mightt r
ytoreachmesoIneedt hi
sphone.
"Youar
[Link]
esoI
[Link]'tl
ikehear
ingyoucryl
ike
t
his"
Il
ookaroundandi t'
slessthanami nuteawayfrom
Nqubeko'soffi
[Link]
iceIwas
cr
yingsohar dsoIdroveforfewsecondsbef or
e
st
opping.I'
m sti
llt
hereandcryinghasn'tst
opped.
"
[Link]
lmewher
eyouar
e"heyel
ls.
Itel
lhi m befor
[Link]
dcal lmycousin
andt ellherbutthewayIam cryi
ng,shemi ghtreal
ly
startthinki
ngtherei
ssomet hi
ngseriouslywrong
[Link] ownwomancr i
esli
keIdo.
Sit
ti
ngstar
tfeel
ingtomuchsoIdecidet
ogetout
forsomeairandhopeitwi
llcal
m medown.
"Bi
tchdon'
tmove"someonegrabsmybr aidand
bangmyf acehardonthecar
.I'
m conf
useandI
thi
nkaboutaskingwhat'
sgoi
ngonbutt hings
[Link]
herbl
owfol
lowsbeforei '
m bei
ng
pusheddownandshovedbackinside.
"Dri
vendonda"themanyell
ssti
llgr
abbi
ngmy
brai
dsandIthinkthehai
rhascomeoffbecausemy
scalpbur
nsalongwithmyface.
"Pleasedon'
t..
..
"Ist
artt
ospeakbutmynosei s
bleedingandmyl i
pisburst
[Link]
downandhi tmyheadt wicewit
hsomethinghard.
Mymi ndtel
lsmeit'
sagun.I'
m dyi
ngtoday.
"Easyonthel
adyGee"someonespeaksandt
he
otherl
augh.
"Don'
tstar
[Link]
ve"themanyel l
[Link]
[Link] ell
smet oreasonwi t
[Link]
cantakethecarandt hemoneybutt heyneedto
l
eavemeal i
[Link]'
[Link].
Thegriponmyheadi sgoneandIraisemyhead
butimmedi at
elysomethi
ngiscoveri
ngmyhead
andIcan'[Link]
ryt
opulli
toffbutthehandis
pressi
ngtightatthebackofmynecksuf focat
ing
andstrangli
ngmeatt hesametime.
Myfeetkeepki
cki
ngandmyhandclawi
ngt
hehand
[Link]'
tdi
eli
ket
his,
notyet
.
Thegripissuddenlyl
ooseandIr eali
zethati'
m
bei
nglift
edupbutnotf orl
ongbef oreIgoforwar
d
[Link]
hinkabonej ustsnappedbut
i
'mtryi
ngt opul
lmyheadout .Ican'tbreat
[Link]
l
ungscan'ttakethi
[Link]
thenoisebutIcan'
[Link]
enandmy
earskeepri
nginginbetweenthenoi
seandthe
ri
ngingsound.
"
Thembeka"IhearNqubeko
Ican'
tspeak.I
'
m gaspi
ngforai
rtaki
ngasmuchasI
canbutmyneckfeelsl
ikei
tsgoi
ngtocloseup.
"Pleasemove"someonecommandsbefor
eIfeel
handsonme.I '
mt oot
ir
edsoIal
lowthesl
eepthe
takeover.

*
***
**

Iwakeupgaspi
ngf
orai
randsomeoneremovemy
handwhenItr
ytor
emovesomet
hingonmyf ace.
"
Ican'
tbr
eat
h"Ifor
cet
hewor
dsoutevent
hough
myheadhur
ts.
"Youaresaf
[Link] downbaby"whi
sper
[Link]
oopenmyeyest hey
hurtsomuchsoIcloset
hem andtryt
ofocuson
br
eat
hing.
"Breat
[Link]
eokay"repeatsthepersonbefore
theyholdmyhand.I
'm al
[Link]
rytothinkabout
whathappenedbutIsl
ipbackintosleepbeforeI
couldremembermuch.

Ikeepwakingupandsl eepi
ngunti
lIst
artt
obe
[Link]
y
unti
[Link] i
rstf
aceIseeis
[Link]
ingatmebutnotblinki
ng.
"Baby"someonespeaksanditmakesNqubeko
bli
nkbeforehi
sgazesettl
[Link]
andit'
[Link]
oserandki
ssmycheek.
"Youar
eawake"saysNqubekobef
oreheki
ssmy
hand.
Myl i
psar edr
yandIfeelt
heywillbl
eedifIstar
t
tal
[Link]'
m att
hehospit
albutIdon't
understandwhytheyarebot
hher e.
"Thi
sisthepar
twhereyougett
henurseora
doctor
"saysNqubekowit
houtl
ooki
ngatKwanel
e.I
thi
nkKwanelewant
stopr
otestbuthewal
ksof
f
aft
erasecond.
"[Link] hatagai
nMaKhumal o"
hekissmyhandagai nbeforekissi
ngmyforehead.I
can'
tfeeltheki
ssbecauseIthinki'
m wear
inga
bandageonmyf or
ehead.
"
[Link]
nal
lyawake"sayst
hedoct
orwal
king
i
nwithKwanel
ebehindhim.
"
Am Igoingtobeokay?
"Iwhi
sperbecausemy
t
hroathurt
s.
"Yesyouwi [Link] or unsome
teststomakesur ewedi dn'
tmi ssanythi
[Link]
hurtyourheadpr et
tyhar dbutf ornowyouar e
doinggood"hest artcheckingmyeyesandaskme
questionsaboutmysel faswel lasaboutmybody.
Everythingseemstobewor kingbutmywr i
stis
[Link] shur tbutthedoctorsaysitwon'
t
needsomef ixi
ngwithpl ast
[Link]
willhealeventhoughIpr obablydon'tthi
nkso.
Thecheckslastf
orawhi
lebef
orehel
eavessayi
ng
anursewil
lcomeseemei [Link]
hman
ar
ebackonmysi
deasi
fit
'sacompet
it
ion.
"
Doyourememberanyt
hingaboutt
hehi
jacki
ng?"
AsksKwanel
erubbi
ngmybrokenhandwit
hhis
t
humb.
"
Wedon'tevenknowifi
t'
sthehi
jacki
ng"bar
ks
Nqubekol
ookingatKwanel
e.
"Unl
essyouknowsomet hi
ngwedon' tknowbutt
he
poli
ceareconvi
ncedthati
tis"r
epli
edKwanele
ret
urni
ngapissedlookatNqubeko.
"Whatar
eyoui
mplyi
ng?"AsksNqubekol
ooki
ngl
ike
hemightgr
abKwanel
e'
sneck.
"Idon'
[Link]
hyour
exwi f
[Link]
kedmebecauseyouare
twist
ed"thi
smakesmel ookatNqubeko.I
rememberhimt el
li
ngmet hatKwanel
eismarr
ied.
"
Don'
tfoolyour
sel
[Link]
enoti
mpor
tant
"
"Andyouar
e?Youaresi
[Link]'
t
wantyouanymor
e"heyel
lsandIseeafi
ghtbr
eak
outi
fIdon'
tst
opthem.
"
[Link]'
tdot
hisr
ightnow"Icuti
nandbot
hof
t
hem t
urnt
olookatmel
iket
heyf
orgotIwaseven
t
her
e.
"
Hei
schi
ldi
sh"saysNqubekof
ir
st.
"
MaybeIjustwanttot
alkt
omygi r
lf
ri
endal
one.
Wit
houtherannoyi
ngex"r
epl
iesKwanel
e.
Thenursewalksi
nandIt ellherI
'
mt hi
[Link]
l
ooksatbothmanbef or
et ell
ingt
hem visi
ti
ngt i
me
i
sover.I'
m gr
atef
ulbecauseIcan'tdealwiththem
ri
ghtnow.

*
***
*

It
'[Link]
heishappytobeherealonewi
thmei nsteadof
[Link]
muchiwantt oaskhi
m butatt
hemomentican' t
openmymout handsaysomet hi
[Link]
wantstospeakbutidon'
twanttocryyet.
I
tst
aysqui
tef
oramomentbef orehest
art
stel
li
ng
meaboutt
hepol
icei
nvest
igat
ion.I
twasahij
acking
andthosemenhavehi j
ackedover30peopl ei
n
dif
fer
entciti
[Link] ll
ed8ofthem andIshould
considermyselfluckyforsurvi
[Link]
I'
l
lcelebrat
ewhenIl eavethehospit
albutfornow
i
'm notfeel
inglucky.
"
Thembeka"hecal
lsmynameandIt
urnmyheadt
o
l
ookathi
m.
"
Youhaveawife?
"Iaskst
rai
ghtoutbef
orehest
art
t
ell
ingmel
ies.
"I
t'
snotwhati
tseemsli
[Link]
uthandoandIdon'
t
evenl
ivel
ikeamarr
iedcoupl
[Link]
fe
andIhavemine"
"
Meani
ng?
"Iaskst
il
llooki
ngathi
m
"Shedoesherownthi
ngandIdomi [Link]'
vebeen
overf
orawhilenow"Iwantt
olaughatthi
sbutI
can'
t.
"
Whydi
dn'
tyout
ellme?
"
"Iwasaf r
[Link]
twil
[Link]
willchangeyourmind.I'
m sor
[Link]
dhave"he
soundssosi ncerer
ightnow.I
fIwasnevermar r
ied
bef
oremaybeIwouldbeli
evethi
sbutI'
vebeen
Nol
uthandobef
oreanditl
eftmeheart
broken.
"Idon'
tthinkIwantt
odateyouanymore"ther
eisno
doubtinmywor dsbutIcanseethesurpr
iseonhis
ownf [Link]
whent hedooropensandNqubekowalksin.
"
JesusChri
st!
!Can'
tyoul
eaveusal
one?
"Yel
ls
Kwanel
elooki
ngatNqubeko.
"
IknowIhavethecharm andal
lbutJesusChr
isti
s
wayabovemyleague"r
eplyNqubekobefor
ehe
wal
ksoverandkissmycheek.
"Doyoumi
nd?Wear
eint
hemi
ddl
eofsomet
hing
here"
"
Cont
inueandactl
ikei
'
m nother
e"r
epl
iesNqubeko
"Wewi
llt
alkl
aterThembeka"saysKwanel
elooki
ng
atmewit
hpleadingeyes.
"Yeahandwhileatitt
ellherhowyouansweredmy
callsoIcanhearyouhavesexwithmywi f
e"says
Nqubeko
"
Exwi
[Link]
edi
vor
cedf
orheavenssake!
!"yel
ls
Kwanel
e
I'
m surpr
isedthathedoesn'
tdenyi
[Link]
mor eangryatNqubekoinst
eadofdenyi
ngt hi
s.
Onlyasickpersonwoulddosuchonanot her
person.
"
Isi
ttr
ue?
"Iask
"[Link]
[Link]
dyoul
eaveus
alone?
"Heseemssof ocusedongett
ingri
dof
NqubekoitannoysmebecauseIshouldbetheone
heisfocusi
[Link].
"Youaremarri
[Link]
hatesl
iar
[Link]'
showIlosther
.Il
[Link]
ost
buddy"saysNqubeko
Iwi
shhecouldshutupaswel
l.I
'
m angryat
Kwanel
eri
ghtnowandheisnothel
pingatal
l.
"
Ineedbot
hofyout
oleave"
"[Link]'
tmatter
.We'vebeen
overforawhil
[Link]'tdothistous"hebegs
anditmakesmeevenmor [Link]
wifenotmatt
er?
Nqubekodoesn'
tar
[Link]
ssmy
cheekbef
orehewalksout
.
"I
'm notahomewr eckerKwanel
[Link] oyour
[Link]'tcal
lmeagain"Isaythewordsbef
ore
closi
[Link] mtoleavesoIcancry
peacef ul
ly.
Chapt
er28

I'
m backhomeaf teraweekatt hehospi [Link]
cansayIf eelbet terbutIdon' [Link]'tstopcr ying
andeacht imeIt hi nkaboutt hewayIf eltabout
Kwanelet hemor ningafter,myhear tachessobad
andthet earsjustst ream downmyf [Link]
broughtmehomeandl eftsayinghehadameet i
ng.
Partofmet hinksi t'salie,heisavoi dingseei ngme
cryli
[Link] [Link] dwhent hose
guyslostcontr oltheyhi tthepol eandt hecar
caughtfireaft
erIwaspul ledout .Nqubekoeven
tol
dmet hathewast heonewhosawt hatIwas
beinghij
ackedchasedaf t
erthecarunt ilat axi
dri
verblockedt hecarandf orcedthem of ftheroad.
I'
m grat
efult
obeal i
veeventhoughIfeelsostupi
d
[Link]'
tseenhim andI'
m happy
becauseIdon'tknowwhatIwillsay.
Mysuper visorcamet oseemeatt hehospitaland
broughtacar dwi t
hsignaturesfrom mycol l
eagues.
Iknowt hathalfofthesignaturescomef rom people
whodon' tevenknowmef acetof acebutI '
m
gratefulforthesuppor tandt hefr
ui tbasketthat
camewi [Link] sthatIcanst ayhome
unti
lIam f ullyrecoveredandt hecastonmyhand
i
[Link] shIcangohomeandbewi thmyf amily.
Ican'tevencal lthem becauseIhavenophone.
Someonest ol
eitduringthechaos.
*
*
"Thembeka"aknockont hewi
ndowmakesmej ump.
I'
vefal
lenasleepont
hecouchwi t
hthetvandt
he
radi
[Link]
stenagai
njusti
ncaseit
'sa
dream.
"MaKhumal
o"comestheknockagai
n.I
t'
sNqubeko.
Iqui
ckl
ywipemyeyesandmymout hbefor
e
openi
ngt
hedoor
.
It
'ssti
llear
[Link]
heskyisst
il
l
orangeindicati
ngthatt
hesunhasn'
tgonedownin
somepl aces.
"
Areyoui
npai
n?"Heaskwhenhewal
ksi
n.
"No"myvoiceisn'tconvi
nci
ngandi
mmedi
atel
ymy
eyesfi
llupwit
ht ears.
"Ibroughtyousomedi nner
.If
iguredyouwoul
dn'
t
beabl eticook"hehandsmeapl ast
icnott
heone
thatlookslikei
thasfood.
"Andt
his?"Il
ooki
nsi
deandi
t'
[Link]
and
newcell
phone.
"
Ihopeyoul
ikei
t"hesaysandwal
ktot
heki
tchen.
Itur
ntheradi
ooff,
walktothecouchandtakethe
phoneout.I
t'
sanexpensi
vemodelandheboughti t
oncontr
actwhichmeansheisgoingtopayforit
.
"
Ican'
tacceptt
his"
"
Why?
"
"
Becausei
t'
sexpensi
ve"i
fwewer
est
il
lmar
ri
edI
woul
dn'
tmi
ndbutwear
enotandIam nol
ongerhi
s
pr
obl
em.
"
It
'sagiftf
rom [Link]'
tworr
yaboutpayment
"he
walksbackwit
haplateandgl
ass.
"
I'
m nol
ongeryourpr
obl
em Nqubeko"
Helooksatmeandsaynot hingbef
orehewalks
backtotheki
tchenandreturnwithhisownfood.
It
'sf
ri
edchickenandrol
[Link]
ebutI
havepil
lst
otakesoIplacet heplat
eonmyl ap.
"
Thanks"Ipoi
ntt
hef
ood.
"
Notaprobl
em"hest
arteat
inghi
sownf
oodand
wat
chTv.
Weeati nsil
enceandi
tremi
ndsmeoft heyearswe
weremar ri
[Link]
ket
hisandforalongti
meI
thoughtthi
[Link]'m
cryi
ngnonst opandmyhear
tisheavy.
"
Areyoui
npai
n?"Heaskast
het
earl
andsonpl
ate.
Ican'
tspeaksoIshakemyhead.
"
Areyoudoneeat
ing?
"Histonesoundsannoyed.
I
'
m annoyi
ngIknowbutIcan'thel
pit
.
Inodandhet
akest
hepl
ateandputi
tont
hecof
fee
tabl
e.
"Lookatme"histoneiscommandingandIlookup
i
nstantl
[Link]
keheisgoingtoyel
lbutst
op
himsel
[Link]
icandannoyi
ng.
"Youhadacr ushonKwanele?"Thequest
ioni
s
unexpectedandIdi
n'tknowwhattosay.I
she
goingtomockme?I '
m stupi
dIknowbutnowIf eel
wor se.
"
YouwenttothesameschoolsoIknowyoudidn'
t
j
ustmeethi
[Link]'
sanol
[Link] Iwr
ong?"
Ishakemyheadst
il
lunabl
etospeakoutl
oud.
"Babygirlthesethi
[Link]
breakdownever yti
mesomef uckboytakesa
chance"hi stonesoundsdif
ferent
,gentl
eandit
makesmecr yevenharder
.Maybei fheisyel
li
ngi
t
wouldn'tfeelsobad.
"[Link]'[Link]"hemoveandsi tnext
tome" Ithurt
[Link] eel
betrayedandyouhate
yoursel
[Link]
'[Link] enewatthisandyouare
l
[Link]'tbesohar donyoursel
f"
"
Ifeelsoused"Iwhi
sper
"Anditsucksbutthi
nkofitli
kethi
s,yougotyour
orgasm andthat
'sallt
hatmatter
[Link]'teven
reachthatpoi
ntinthesethi
ngs"
Il
aughjustpict
uri
nganoor gasm [Link]
ele
oncetol
dmeherf irstboyf
riendusedtosuckinbed.
Evenasavirginsheknewi twasn'tdoneri
ght
.They
didi
tacoupleoftimesbefor eshehadenough
cour
agetoleavehim.
"
Ther
[Link]
it
tl
elaugh"hesmi
les
"
Ifeelsost
upid"Iwipethetear
sandpul
lmyl
egst
o
mychestbeforehuggingthem.
"
Why?
"
"BecauseIshoul
dn'
thavei
nvi
tedhi
m over
.Igave
himthatpower"
Hedoesn'
trepl
yinsteadhescratchhehead
mul
ti
pleti
mebef or
ecl ear
inghi
st hr
oat
.
"
Let
smakeadeal
"
"
Aboutwhat
?"
"Youwilldryyoureyesandt reatKwaneleas
exper
[Link] sel
fupbabygi rl
.Youaret
oo
fi
netobecr yingoveraf [Link]
toseeThembeka.I fyougooutt her
eandmeet
peopl
eyouar egoi
ngt ohavet oputyoursexybi
g
gir
lpantiesonandt akeitasitcomes"
"
AndifIgethur
tagai
n?"Iwi
pemyr
unni
ngnose
wit
hmysleeve.
"Youar [Link]'spartofl
ife
[Link] rlsyouragehavedat edmorethan
threeguysal r
[Link] ellyouthatali
ttl
e
disappointmentneverkil
[Link]
beendumpedsever alti
mesal readyandt hey
[Link] egoi
ngtobef inet oo"
Inodandclosemyeyeshopi
ngt
het
ear
swi
llf
inal
ly
[Link]'
t.
"
Ibl
amemysel
f"hespeaksaf
teramoment
.
"
Why?
"
"Becausei
fIwasagoodhusbandtoyou,wewoul
d
sti
llbemarri
edandKwanel
ewouldn'
thave
[Link]
l
heart
brokenandcryi
ngnonst [Link]'twantt
osee
thi
[Link]
"[Link]
'snothisfaul
t.I
t'
s
j
[Link] ool
ishandnowIf eell
ikeawhore.
Whosl eepswit
haguyt heyhardl
yknowj ust
becausetheyhaveacrushont hem?
"I
'
m stupi
dt [Link]
[Link]
oknow
himjustabit.I
fIwaitedIwouldn'
thavesl
eptwi
th
him [Link]
ikeawhore"
"What!
!?"Heyel
lsmaki
ngmej
umpbecausei
'
m not
expect
ingit
.
"Ibroughthiminmyhouseandsl eptwit
hhimi nmy
[Link] swif
ewaspr obablywait
ingforhim at
homet hewholeti
me"Idon'tevenknowhi m butI
canpi ctur
eafacelesswomankneel i
ngont heside
ofthebedcr yi
ngandpr ayi
ngthatherhusband
comeshome.
"Youarenotawhor [Link]
lyourselft
[Link]
werehornyandKwanel ewasmor ethanwill
ing.
Treati
[Link]' t
giveconsent
.Youar ebothadult
sandknewwhat
[Link] sgui
[Link] edon
hi
swi f
enotyou"hesoundsannoyedandIf
earhe
mightstar
tshaki
ngme.
"Li
keyoucheatedonmewit
hher"t
hatcomesout
unexpect
edl
ybutsomehowIdon'
tregr
eti
[Link]
brokemyheartfi
rst
.
"AndI '
vebeenfeel
ingl
ikeshitsi
nceyoul eftme.I
regretever
ythi
ngthathappenedbet weenus.I
[Link] inall
ycleani
ngup
myactyoul eft
.Notadaygoesbyt hatIdon'tt
hink
aboutit"
"
Youbr
okemyhear
tNqubeko"
"Iknow.I'
m sorr
ybabygi r
l"hesoundl
ikeheis
goingtostartcr
yingt
[Link]'twantt
[Link]'
t
seehistearsbecausetheywillmakemefeelbad.
"It
hinkIshoul
dgotobednow"Iputmyfeetdown
andslipt
hem i
ntomysleeper
[Link]
andsuptoo
andpickuptheplat
es.
"Youcanwar [Link]
ll
s"
heinst
ructbefor
edisappear
ingtotheki
tchen.
Idr
agmyf
eett
othebedr
oom andt
akemypi
ll
s
bef
oregoi
ngtotheki
[Link]
indhi
m washi
ngt
he
pl
ateandgl
asses.
"
Thanks"It
akethewashedgl
assandf
il
litupwi
th
wat
erbefor
etakingoutt
hepi
ll
s.
"Aboutyourcar.I
t'
satotalwr
it
eoff
.It
hinkyou
needanupgr ade"t
hismakesmelookathim.I
she
off
eri
ngmeanewcar ?
"Idon'thaveenoughmoneyf [Link]
ust
start
edwor kandnowi '
minjuredmaybetheywil
l
fir
emef orbei
ngaloser
.Ican'ttakeanewcar"
"
Youst i
lll
ovetheri
ngs"t
heringsishowIdescr
ibe
[Link]
emyf avouri
te.
"
Youknowme"Ismil
ebecausehelaughedt
hef
ir
st
t
imeIr
efer
redt
othecarastheRi
ngs.
"I
'l
lsor
titoutanddon'
tar
gue"headdsbef
oreIcan
evenopenmymout h.
"
Thanks"
Webothgoquietandheconti
nuestowipethe
count
erandwipesthesi
nkunti
lIcant
ellheisnot
j
ustwipi
[Link]
stosaysomething.
"
It
'sdr
yal
ready"
"Iwantyout
ogoforcounsell
ing"hesaysqui
ckl
y
andputthedi
shcl
othoverthedishrack.
"
Why?
"
"Thecryi
[Link] iesli
kethi
[Link]
heart
brokenpeopledon' tcryl
[Link]
hinkyou
needtoseesomeoneandt hehijackingwillbot
her
[Link] ogetsomehel p
deali
ngwitheverything"
"Soyouwi l
lneverstopseeingmeasahel pless
person?Achi l
dwithissues?"Ishoutunabletostop
[Link] her
apistbecausetheyar e
cryi
[Link]
'scryi
ngnotsui ci
deattempt.
"Youarenothelpl
[Link]
enotachi
ldbutno
adultcr
iesli
[Link]
yinyour
self
MaKhumal [Link]
hat
"
"[Link]
e
brokemyheart
!!
"Iyel
lbecauseclear
lyhehasa
probl
em wit
hhisheari
ng.
"
Andyoul
[Link]
ostt
he
pregnancyandyouhaven'
tst
oppedcr
yingsi
nce
then!
!"
ThetearsIwassosuret
heyar
egone,inst
ant
lyf
il
l
myeyesandIstareathi
[Link]
bri
ngsitup.
"
Leave"
"Why?Becausei'
mt el
li
ngyout hetruth?Wel ostour
babyMaKhumal [Link] eheart
brokenwhen
Nobuhl
eattackedyouandIf ail
edyouwhenIwasn' t
ther
ewhenyouneededmet hemost .It
'snotjust
Kwanel
[Link]
'sallt
[Link]
weneedtogetyousomehel p"
"Idon'
tneedhel
p.I
'[Link]
easel
eave"Itakemy
pil
lsandgotothebedr
oom whilef
uri
ouslywipi
ng
myeyes.
"I
'm notl
[Link]
ght
maresbeingat
homeaf tert
hehijacki
[Link]
ayandbet her
e
foryou"Ihearhim sayasIputthepi
ll
sinthe
drawer.
"Nowyouwanttobehere?Youusetol
eavemein
[Link]
hemostyou
wer
en'tt
her
[Link]?"Imat
chbackt ot
he
l
oungeandfi
ndhi
m si
tt
ingonthecouch.
"[Link]
andjustf
ortodaypl
easeal
lowmet obeherefor
you.I
fyoudon'twakeupscreaminginf
earI
'l
l
l
eave"hebegs.
Thest
upidt
earsfal
lharderonmyf
aceandIgo
backt
othebedroom i
ndefeat.
Chapt
er29

Iwakeupal [Link]
sgoneandhel eftanot
e
sayingheneededtochecksomethingoutinhis
[Link]
etsoIturnther
adioon
andusemyonehandt ocleanar
oundwhi l
e
wat chi
ngtheti
[Link] heclockt
icks8I
callmycousin.
"Thembeka"[Link]'
tbl
ameher.
It
'sbeentoolongandI'
m sur
eshet ri
edtocal
lme
befor
ebutreachedmyvoicemail.
"
[Link]
eyouguysokay"
"
I'm [Link]
ehaveyoubeen?
"Shesounds
l
ikesheiswalki
ngsomewhere.
"[Link]
mosthij
ackedbutNqubeko
wast her
eandsavedme.I '
vebeenatthehospi
tal
forfewdays"Iprayshedoesn'tasktoomany
detail
saboutthehij
ackingbecauseIdon'
thavethe
energytoreli
vethatmoment .
"
Youar
eokaynow?
"
"YeahI'm [Link] sblackandblue,bandage
onheadandt heyshavedthehai randabroken
wristbutI'
m okay.I
'm backhome"It ryt
osoundal l
cheerfulbutmyeyesar efil
li
ngupwi tht
ears.
"Iwassowor ri
ed.I
'vebeencall
ingever
[Link]
suggestedthatDabulashoul
dgot oDurbantolook
[Link] deawher et
oevenbegin"
"
[Link] herand
l
uckil
yIcoulddoasi m swapandforthenumber .
I
'mf i
[Link]'tworry"t
ear
sstartrol
li
ngdown
mycheeksandNqubeko' swordsinmyhead.
MaybeIdoneedsomehel paft
erall
.
"
[Link]
ellyouar
ecr
ying"
"
[Link]
houghtIwasdyi
ng.I
fNqubeko
wasn'
tther
eIdon'
t.
."
"
Stopthi
nki
ngl i
[Link]
esaf
enow.I
s
Nqubekost
il
lthere?"
"
[Link]
eftbef
oreIwokeup"
"Hesl
eptthere?WhereisKwanele?
"Thelastt
ime
wespokeKwanel ewasstil
lat
[Link]'
t
knowthatheisaliarandweareoverbef
orewe
evenhappened.
"Thembeka"shesaysaf
teramomentbecauseI
'
ve
gonequiet
.
"
Youwereri
ghtaboutNqubekohear
ingthesex.
Kwanel
eansweredthephoneonpurpose"
"
What
?"
"[Link]'
tevendenyi twhenNqubekosaidso.
Hei smarr
iedwithadaught erPhi
li
.WhenIaskedhe
saidhiswif
edoesn'[Link]
e
doesn'tmatt
er?Icoul
dn'tbeli
eveit
.Soweareover.
IhopeIneverseehim again"
"
Youdon'
thavet
[Link]
nkofhi
m asbadexper
ience.
Youwer
epr
otect
ed,
right
?"
"
Yeswewer
e"
"[Link] opt hi
nkingabouthi
m andtel
lhi
mt o
getlostifhet
riestocontactyouagai
n"shemakes
i
[Link] keIshoul
dshutthi
spartand
l
ocki tsomewher einmyheadandmoveon.
"WhydoIfeelbadl
iket
his?If
eell
ikeIdi
d
somethi
[Link]
ngdirt
y"
"
Youfeell
ikeawhore"sheasksandInodf
orget
ti
ng
t
hatshecan'tseeme.
"Thembeka"hert
onemakesmer
eal
izet
hatI
nodded.
"
Sor
[Link]
eell
ikeal
[Link]
rt
y"
"That'[Link] eraisewithabelieft
hata
womancan' thavesexunl esssheismar r
iedorwith
alongt i
meboyf ri
[Link]'
[Link] i
rst
[Link]'tfeelbad"hevoicesoundskind
andl ovi
ngandmor etearsjustpouroutofmyeyes.
"
Nowst
opcr
ying"sheaddswhenIkeeponsni
ff
li
ng.
"
[Link]
ssyouguyssomuch"
"Wemi ssyout
[Link]
opcr
yingoryouwi
llgeta
headache"
"
Okay"It
ryt
olaughbuti
t'
sat
ear
ylaugh.
"
Promi
semeyouwi
llbeokay"
"
Nowt hatI
'
veheardyouvoice.I
'
llbeokay"she
l
aughsandIcanimagineherdoingit
.Itmakesme
misst
hem evenmore.
Wetalkforawhil
elongerbef
oreshesaysshehas
[Link]
nggoodbyemakesmeemot i
onalbutI
don'
tshowittoher.

*
*
Thedaygoesf astandIhavenot hingmucht odo
besidenappingunt i
lNqubekoar r
iveswit hlunch.I
havenoappet itebutIdon'tref
usewhenheser ves
meaf ul
lcookedmeal .Beef,pap,beetr
oot ,
butternut
,
potatosalad.I
tlookslikei
twasdi shedf oraman,
thetakeawayisf ul
landspi l
li
ngout .
"
Wher
edi
dyoubuyt
his?
"
"Thereisal
adywhosellsthesemeal
snearour
offi
[Link]
lyorder
sandshedel
iver
s"
Iwatchhim eatandwonderi
fIwassuchabad
cookinsuchawayt hathehadtobuysomeone
el
se'
scooking.
"
What
?"Heaskswhenheseesmest
ari
ngathi
m.
"
Doesshecookbet
tert
hanme?
"
"
Noshedoesn'
[Link]
ngi
sgood"
Inodandeatfewmor [Link]
inue
eati
ngunt
ilheisdoneandgot heki
tchen.
"Doyouwantsometea?"Heasksbef
oreIheart
he
ket
tl
ebei
ngturnedon.
"
I'
[Link]
thpowder
edmi
lk"Ir
epl
y.
Hedoesn'
trepl
yandaft
eramomenthewal
ksi
n
wi
thcoff
eeandmyt ea,
"Hereyougo"heput
sthecupdownont
het
ray
beforesi
tt
ingdownwit
hhis.
"
Whatdi
dNobuhl
ehavet
hatIdonothave?
"
I
t'
sasur
pri
singquest
ionandhef
ail
stohi
det
he
shockonhi
sface.
"
What
?"
"
Nobuhl
[Link]
dshehavet
hatIl
ack?
"
"Shoul
dwebedoi ngthisMaKhumal
o?"Hesounds
annoyedbutIdon'
[Link]
het
rut
h.
"It
[Link]
ehereal
readysowemi
ght
[Link]
ack?!
!"
"Not
[Link]
hing"i
t'
[Link]
saysitdoesn'
tsoundconvi
ncingatall
.
"Don'
tspar
emyf eelingsNqubeko.I'
m hurtal
ready
sotel
[Link],
Icleaned,Ididt
he
l
aundryandeverythi
ngelseawomanhast odofor
[Link] dyoucheatonme? "
Hedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadhesi
pshi
scof
feeandr
ub
hi
schin.I
'
m notbacki
ngdown.
"
Iknowt hatyouweresleepi
ngwit
hherbef
orewe
wereevenmar r
iedbutwhyconti
nue?Iwasagood
wif
etoyou"
"
Youwereinexperi
[Link]
lyyou
wer
en'
[Link]
oundforthat
"herepl
ies
af
teral
ongmoment
.
Ithi
nkIshoul
dbeangryandmaybedisgustedbut
somehowIam not
.I'
m shockedj
ustabitbutIfeel
ther
eismore.
"ButIgaveyouthesexever
ytimeyouwant edi
t.
Everyt
hingIknowaboutsexcamefrom you"
"
Iknow"
"SohowcanInotbeexperiencedenoughforyou?
Youbrokemyvirgi
nit
[Link] dyou
expectmetoknow?"Irai
semyvoi cebuthedoesn'
t
seem movedatall
.
"
It
'snott
hat
"
"
Thenwhat?"Iputthef
oodasi
debef
oreIf
ind
mysel
fthr
owingitonhisf
ace.
"
Coul
dyoucal
m downabi
t"
"
Why?
"Iyel
lloudert
hanbef
ore.
"Becausewedon'twanttheneighbourst
ohearus
plusI'
m her
ewithyousot her
eisnoneedt oyel
l
"he
repl
iesinaver
ycalmt oneanditir
rit
atemeeven
mor e.
"
Thent
ellmet
het
rut
[Link]
vet
het
rut
h"
"
Whynow?whyt
oday?Whatbr
oughtt
hison?
"
"
Becausewear ebot
hhereal
readytalki
[Link]
alkI
wanttoknow"Idemandandsurpr
isingl
yenough
I
'm notsobbi
ng.
Hedoesn'tr
epl
ysoIcont i
nue"YousayI'
m
i
nexper
iencedbutyoutaughtmetobel i
kethat
.
HowwasIsupposedt ogettheexper
ience?
"
"Youwer
esupposedtogettheexper
iencef
rom me
butIf
ear
edthatImightscar
eyousoIheldback.I
seemyfaul
tther
e"
"Whatdoyoumeanbythat
?"Iwi
shIdon'
thavet
o
digeachandever
ywor
doutofhi
[Link]'the
j
ustitatonce.
"Nobuhleunder
stoodmysexualappeti
teThembeka.
Shewasal waysreadyandIdi
dn'
tfearscari
ngher
offbecauseshewasopentoeveryt
hingwedi d"
"
Inwhatmanner?Didsheletyouf
uckeverywhole
i
nherbody?
"Itrytoblockt
heunpleasantt
hought
s
t
hatar
estar
tingtofor
mi nmyhead.
"
Nott
hat
.Damndower
eal
lyhavet
odot
his?
"
"I
fyoudon'twanttotal
[Link]'
thave
tobegfort
hetruthli
keIhadtodoitwhilewewere
sti
llmar
ri
ed"Isnap.
"Okayfi
[Link] i
[Link]
hornyandshedidn'tmindwherewewer [Link]
hadsexintheboardroom youworetheguil
tylook
[Link] edi
dn'
tmi [Link]
withherwasalwaysat hr
il
[Link]
meswe
tookri
[Link]
hyou,i
twas
dif
fer
ent"
"
Youmeansexwi
thmei
sbor
ing?
"
"Ididn'tsaythat
.Itwasn'tbori
ngbuti twascaref
ul.I
neededt obecarefulnottohurtyoubecauseal i
tt
le
discomf orthadyoual lf
rozenandyoureyesf ul
lof
fear.I'
m notsayingit'
syourfault.I
t'
snotandI
didn'thelpthesi
tuation"
Inodandst
andupbefor
etaki
ngmynowcol
dtea
backt
othekit
chen.
"Youcan'
[Link]
ri
edt
oavoi
dthi
s
butyouwantedt
oknow"hefoll
ows
"
I'
m notmad"Il
ie.I
'
m sadandmad.
"
Butyouar
edi
sappoi
[Link]
t"
"SoyouthinkIshouldbeexci t
edthatyouwer e
sleepi
ngwithanotherwomanbecauseIwasl i
kea
[Link] dn'
tdothethingsshe
couldandIwasbor ing"tearsstar
tupandmyf ace
[Link] lwit
hdr [Link]
sh
theycouldstayawayj ustforabit
.
"
Idi
dn'
tsayyouwer
ebor
[Link]'
tdot
hispl
ease"
"
Youmeantexact
lyt
hat
"Iwi
pet
hem bef
oret
heyf
all
.
"Idon't
.YouaskedandI'
mt r
yingtoexplai
n.I
t'
smy
fault
.Ishoul
dhavemadesur eyouwer e
comf ort
abl
eandintr
oducedthist
[Link]
havegotusedtoit"
Inodandwashthecupont
hesi
nkbef
orest
ari
ngat
i
tforamoment.
"
Thembeka"
"Howdoyouli
kesex?Besi
debeingal
wayshor
ny
anddar
[Link]
sei
stherei
nyoursex?
"
Hest
aresatmef
oramomentbef
orehel
eans
agai
nstthef
ri
dgeandbur
yhi
shandsdeepi
nhi
s
pocket
s.
"Il
ikecomf or
[Link] scomf ort
ablei
nthei
r
ownbodyt ur
[Link] he
tablesIwishedyouhaddonei [Link]
theplayf
[Link] hingsexyand
takeaphot [Link] omyof fi
ceforaquicki
e
i
fyouar efeeli
[Link] ouchyouunderthe
tableandfuckmei ntoexhaust
ionfrom nowand
[Link]
hing"
"
Soyouar
eaddi
ctedt
osex?
"Ir
epl
yinshock.
"
I'
m notaddi
[Link]
oyi
t"
"Andyouenj
oyeditwit
hherthanwi
thme"t
hat
soundsbi
tt
erbutIdon'
tcar
e.
"Ididn'
tsaythat
.Ienj
oyedi
twit
hyouandIwishI
didn'[Link]
upi
d"
"
Butshewasbet
ter
"
"Don'
tsaythat
.Ishoul
dhaveseducedyou
[Link]
dhaveint
roducedal
lthatt
oyou
unti
lyouwerecomfort
abl
[Link]
ori
ng
andenjoyment.I
fIdidn'
tfai
lyou,youwoul dn'
thave
beenbotheredbythetabl
eortheof f
[Link]
wouldhavebeencomf ort
ableandenj oyedit
.ButI
di
dn't
.Ifai
led"
"I
tdoesn'
tmat
[Link]
hetrut
[Link]
hinkI
needanap"Il
[Link]
m gonesoIcanbealone.
"
Icanst
[Link]'
tmi
nd"hedoesn'
tmove.
"Okayfine"Iheadbacktot
heloungeandpickup
myf oodbef or
eret
urni
ngtotheki
tchen.I
'
lleatl
ater
fornowIj ustwantt
obealoneandremindmyself
thatNqubekocan'thurtmeanymorebecausewe
aredivorced.
Chapt
er30

"Youaskedhi
mt hat?"Exclai
m Phil
iontheother
sideoft
heli
neafterIfinisht
ell
ingherwhatIasked
Nqubekotheni
ghtbef ore.
"Ineededtoknow"Ireplybeforepull
ingbackt
he
curtai
[Link]
kewemight
begettingaful
lsunnydayt [Link]
out
sideandf
eel
somef
reshai
r.
"[Link] ?"Shesoundsl
ikeshe
mightbur
sti
ntolaught
[Link]'t
becauseI
'mfeel
ingemotionalalr
eady.
"I
thurt
[Link]
ingmysel
fthatitdoesn'tmatt
er
buti
thurts"I
'm bei
nghonestwithPhilibecauseshe
i
sclevert
hanmeandshesol vestheset hi
ngsso
easi
ly.
"
Wher
eisher
ightnow?
"
"[Link] ef
tear l
[Link]
nkhewasavoi dingme
becausehedi dn'tevensaygoodni ghtlastnight"he
hadnopr oblem sayingitthenightbeforelastbut
l
astnighthedi dn't
.Ifeelhewasangr ybuthe
doesn'tknowhowIf [Link] ghtsayhet akesthe
blameaswel lbutIf eelheisjustdoingitforme.I
pushedhi mtoi tbecauseI'm upti
ghtandst range.
"[Link]' thavetoanswer
i
fyoudon'tknowornotr eadytot al
kabouti t
"she
saysinaloweredvoi
[Link] ellsheisgoi ngto
askmeaquest ionImightfailt
oanswer .Ihopeshe
doesn'
taskmeaboutanyt hingrelatedtosex
becauseI
'
m noti
nanyposi
ti
ont
otal
kaboutt
hat
wit
hnoangerinmyhead.
"
Ask"crossmyl egsandfinger
s.I
t'
sahabit
.Iused
t
odoital otgr
owingupbecausetheywerealways
madaboutsomet hinganddemandinganswersI
wasn'
tcomf or
tabletogi
ve.
"Doyouhavef eel
ingsf orNqubeko?For gett
hatyou
aredi
vor
cedandhebr [Link]
he
[Link] eeli
ngsforhi m?"I
wasn'
[Link] egs
andfi
ngersbef or
esitt
ingdown.
"
Whati
slove?"Maybeifshet
ell
smewhatlove
f
eel
sli
kethenIwil
lknowwhatisandwhati
snot.
"Ican'tgiveyouaclearpict
ureofwhatl oveis
becausei thappendiff
erentl
yforallofusbutt he
simplestexampl ewil
lbehowIf eelaboutt hekids,
youandDabul [Link] hi
ngsf oryou,I
thinkaboutyoual lt
hetime,Iprayforyouever y
ti
meIcl osemyeyes, i
fanythi
ngwer etohappent o
anyofyouIwoul dbehear t
[Link]
allareokayt henI'
m okaytoo.I
foneofyoui snot
welll
ikeyouwer ehijackedI '
m notokayaswel l
.
Loveisthatf [Link] oseeyouhappy, hear
yourvoiceallthet i
meandIwantal lthegoodt hings
[Link] ouslywheni tcomest or omant i
c
rel
ati
onshipi thast oinvolvesex, ki
ssing,touching
andever yt
hingel seloversdo"Asshesaysal lt
hese
thi
ngsIr eal
izet hatIdoal lthatforthem [Link]
toseethem happyal lthet i
meandast hepicture
forminmyheadIseeNqubekot hereaswel [Link]
l
ongt i
mei twasal wayshi mi [Link] ed
himtobesaf e,Iwant edhimt oachi evehisgoal s
eventhoughIhadnoi deawhatt hosegoal swer e.
"So,[Link]'
tNqubekosti
llhavet
hatpl
acei
n
yourheart?"ShespeakswhenIdon'tr
epl
y.
"Heistheonl
[Link]
deKwanele,
whom Ididn'
tknowatall
.Mylif
ehasrevol
ved
aroundNqubekoforsolong"
"Andheisstil
lther
[Link]'
st hepr
[Link] e
divor
cedbutyouar el
ivi
ngt oget
[Link]
llpart
ofyourli
[Link]'tmetmany
divor
cedpeopleinmyl i
febutIdoubtthem getti
ng
alongisl
ikeyouandhi m"thismakesmet hi
nk
aboutthehousewhi chhegavet [Link] s
promisi
ng,thefoodhebuys, themessageshe
sendsaskingifIneedanythingi fheisnothere.
Him spendinganightbecausehet hinksI
'
llbe
scaredtobealoneaf t
ert
hehi [Link]
dhavea
baddreamsbutt heyaren'
tintensel i
keIthought
theywouldbe.
"SoIshouldki
ckhi
m out
?"IaskbecauseIam r
eal
ly
cluel
ess.
"
Notr eal
lybutThembekaifyouwantt ohaveali
fe
wit
houtNqubekoi ni
tyouwi l
lhavetogetalif
e
wit
houtNqubekoi ni
[Link],
goout,havea
l
if
eyouwantandNqubekowi l
lalsogobacktohis
l
if
[Link]'si
fyoudon'thavefeeli
ngsforhi
[Link]
t
her omanticf
eeli
ngs"sheadvises
"Whati fIdo?"I
t'
snol i
ethatwithhim ar
oundIfeel
protectedeventhoughI'm notsurewhy,maybeit'
s
becausehehasal waysbeent her
eevenwhenI
didn'tseehim.
"
ThenyouandNqubekoneedt
ositdownandfinda
wayf
orwar
[Link]
pfrom at
hir
dpersonandget
somet [Link]'ttakethi
sabadwaybutIdo
thi
nkyoumi ghtneedsomehel pwi t
hemotional
i
ssues"shesoundsunsur eandIt hi
nkshefears
thatIwil
lbeof [Link] offendedbecause
nothingsaysyouar e'crazy'l
ikepeoplet
ell
ingyou,
youneedhel pwi thyourfeel
ingsandt hi
nki
ng.
"
BecauseI'
m al
wayscr
ying?
"Iaskal
readywi
ping
myeyes.
"[Link],get
ti
nghelpdoesn'
tmean
youar eweak.I
tmeansyouarestrongenought
o
cryforhel
p"herwordsarecomfort
ingbutI
'm
alr
eadyteari
ng.
"
[Link]
eal
lyappr
eci
atet
his"
"I
t'
[Link] oseeyougetbet ter
[Link] eyoung, youhaveaj ob,youhave
houseandacar .It
'snotokayt hatyouarenotlivi
ng
yourl
ifebecauseoft het hi
ngsyou' vegonethrough.
Youneedt ohealandseewhatel selif
ecanoffer.
Evenifyoudon' tgetbackwi thNqubekobutst il
lyou
needsomel oveandbef oreyougett hatyouneedt o
bereadytor eceiveit
"
"
I'
llseei
fIcanf
indsomeoneIcanbookf
orsome
t
herapy"
"
That'
[Link] hi
nkaboutwhatyouwant
r
egardi
[Link]'
thaveanyfeeli
ngs
f
orhimthenbereadytolethi
m go.I
t'
simportant
t
hatyoulear
ntoletgoofwhatyoudon'tneedand
t
akewhatyouneed"
"
I'
lldot
hat
.Il
oveyou"
"Il
[Link]'tf
orget,ast
epforwar
dis
bett
ert
hanstandi
ngst i
ll
.[Link]
tal
ktoCel
iwe'
steacherabouthernetbal
lpr
act
ice"
"Okay.I'
l
lcal
lyoulat
[Link]
sst
he
kidsforme"Isaybefor
eweendt hecal
l.
Iqui
cklytr
ansfersomemoneyforhersoshe
doesn'
thavetowor r
yaboutr
unni
nglowonfood
andelect
ri
cit
y.

*
*
Thedaygoesbywel [Link] ngfor
somet oil
etr
iesandaddsomespi cesforthefood
andt henbuysomebr eadbef oreheadingback
[Link] axidropsmeneart hegat eandInot i
ce
threecarsparkedinmydr [Link]'trecogni
ze
them exceptforNqubeko' swhichexplainstheopen
doorandunl ockedgat [Link] hekeysandat
somepoi ntIhavetot aket hem backbutfornowI
carrymyt hi
ngsinsideusi ngonehandbecauset he
otheroneisstil
linj
ured.
"Wherewer
eyou?"AsksNqubekomeeti
ngmeat
thedoor
.HeloOKsli
kehewantstoshoutbut
doesn'
t.
"Iwentt
ogett [Link]
r"Iwal
kinand
tomysurprisePrettyi
ssitt
ingont
hecouchlooki
ng
atherphone.
"Hi
"Igr
eetherf
ail
ingt
ohi
[Link]
sshe
her
e?
"[Link]
pri
se"shesmi
lesbeforeshegetsup
[Link] sst
iffbutIawkwardl
yhug
herback.
"Doyoul adi
esneedadr i
nk?
"AsksNqubeko
disappeari
ngtotheki
tchen.
"
I'
mfi
nethank"sherepl
iesbef
oreshef
ini
sht
he
r
emai
ningj
uiceinhergl
ass.
"Not
hingformeaswel
[Link]
eyoudoi
ngher
e?"I
askPret
ty.
"[Link] e"sheis
smili
ngli
kewerefri
endsal
[Link]
thesameasNombusoandPhumel el
[Link]
allf
ri
endl
yandinvi
ti
ngwhilei
twasallanact .
"Why?Ialr
eadyreportedtotheHRdepartment
.I'
m
onleaveandreall
yinj
ured"Irepl
yandsheseems
surpr
isebymyt one.I
fitsanactthenNqubeko
needstopayhermor e.
"Idi
dn'tsayi
twasal
[Link]
ustchecki
ngona
coll
eague"
"Wel
lyouseeI'
mf i
ne"Idon'
taddgetoutbutsur
ely
shecanreadbet
weent hel
ines.
"I
stheresomet
hingwrong?"Sheaskswi
thout
gett
inguptoi
ndicat
esheisleavi
ng.
"Thembeka"saysNqubekobehi
[Link]
gnorehim
andgivePret
tyahardstar
[Link]'
tbef
ooledagai
n.
"
Whyal
lthef
ri
endl
iness?Youdon'
tevenknowme"
Herf
acegoesf
rom shockedt
osadness.
"AndIwastr
yingt
o.I
'
m sor
rytohavebot
her
edyou"
shegetsupandpi
ckupherbag.
"Pl
easedon'
[Link]
'sunnecessar
y"
saysNqubekohistonesoundingpi
ssedof.
"
Sohowmuchi
shepayi
ngyou?
"Iask
"
What
?"Theybot
hsayatonce
"
Don'
tactal
[Link] hknowheboughtyou
t
obef
[Link] dn'
tjustwakeupanddeci
ded
t
obef
riendme!!
"Iyellandshejumps.
"Thembeka!
!!
!"Yel
lsNqubekomakingbothofus
j
[Link] et
tyl
ooksscaredandIevenfeelsor
ryfor
[Link]
ouslydon'
tknowhegetsli
kethis.
"
Iwantyoubot
houtofmyhouse"
Shedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadsheheadsf ort
hedoorbut
Nqubekoisf
asterheblocksherbef
oreshecanget
out
.
"Pl
easewai
t.I
t'
snotwhatyouthi
nkThembeka"he
yel
lsandPr
ett
ylooksscar
ed.
"
Soyoudi
dn'
tpayhertocomeher
etopr
etendt
o
wantt
obemyfri
end?"
"
What
?"AsksPr
ett
y
"Ididn'
[Link] ewhenIar
rivedandyour
phonewasonvoi cemail
soIopenedupandwe
wai t
[Link]'
tdoanyt
hing"saysNqubeko
raisi
ngbot hhands.
"
Cansomeonet el
lmewhat
'sgoi
ngonorl
etme
l
eave"yel
lsPr
etty
"
Thelastf
ri
endsIhadhewaspayi ngthem tobemy
f
ri
[Link]
houghttheyl
ikedmebutIwasj usta
moneymakingschemet othem"Itel
lherandshe
l
ooksatNqubekowithdisgustbef
oresheturnst
o
me.
"Il
eftworkear
lybecauseit
'sFri
dayandIthoughtI
shouldcomeher etoseeyou.I
'm sor
ryyouthi
nk
ther
eissomehi [Link]
ngtobe
ni
ce"
NowIfeelbadanditdoesn'
thel
pthatPr
ett
yis
l
ooki
ngatmewi thsuchpityi
nhereyes.
"
I'
m sor
ry"
"
Noi t
'
sf i
[Link]
dgo"Icant
ellshedoesn'
tmean
i
t.I
'
ver ui
neditandnowsheisl
eaving.
.
"Pl
easedon'
[Link]
dn'
tmeant
odoallt
his.I
'
m
sorr
[Link]
ease"Ibegandcovermyfacewi
thboth
handsbefor
esobbing.
"Hey,pl
easedon't
.JesusIthoughtyouwer eweird
butyouareweirdert
hanIthought"Ifeelherhands
aroundmeandt henshelaughs"Youar estrange
[Link] hat
?"
Il
ookupandshei sstar
ingatmewiththi
sgri
non
herf
[Link]
ooki
ngat
me.
"It
houghtIwashel
ping"her
epl
iesi
nal
owt
one
befor
eopeningt
hedoor.
"Okay,t
[Link]
[Link]
hatbott
lebutjui
cewi
ll
do"sheshot
shergl
ancet
oNqubeko.
"Comingrightup"hehur
ri
est
otheki
tchenand
Pret
tylaughs.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
orbei
ngsomean"
"It
'sfi
[Link] l
llaughaboutthi
sonceyoust op
[Link] odosomet hi
ngaboutyour
[Link] i
ghtcol
our"webothlookatmy
toesinmysl i
[Link]
lsbutI
l
[Link] sfunny.
"
Her
eisthejui
[Link]
n
t
hecupboar
d"saysNqubeko.
"Pl
easeleavemeandmyf r
[Link] otalk
aboutyoubehi
ndyourback"sheactual
lyshoohi m
awayandhedoesn'tl
ookbothered.I
'
ml aughingtoo.
Chapt
er31

Nqubeko

"
Youl
ookl
ikeyouar
ecar
ryi
ngt
heuni
ver
sal
pr
oblems"saysMzamoslappi
ngmyshoul derashe
wal
[Link] snotwr
ong,Idofeell
ikeI
'
m carryi
ng
aheavyweighti
nmyshoulder
s.
Il
ookupandnot icet
hatKhethel
oandVusihave
stoppedargui
ngaboutwhatevertheywer
ear
guing
aboutinst
eadtheyar
ebothstaringatme.
"
What ?"Ipickupt hebot
t l
ebutdon'
tbr
ingi
ttomy
l
[Link]'treachwhereIshoul
dgoinst
eadIfeel
l
iketheliquidisturni
ngintost
onesinmystomach.
"[Link] sf
[Link]
newcar .Sheletyousleepi
nherhouseandshe
hasn'tboil
[Link]
em now? "
Vusiasksbeforehestandsuptograbanotherbeer
from thecool
erbox.
Isitupstr
aightandtellthem whathappenedwi t
h
Prett
y'svi
sit
,heroutburstandthent hecryi
ng.
Khethelowhist
lesbeforeheleavest heroom.
Mzamoput sdownt hebeerandl ooksatmel i
kehe
mightstar
ttell
ingwher eital
lwentwr ong.
"That'
shect
[Link]
oyedher
"saysVusit
aki
ng
pleasur
einrubbingi
tin.
"Br
okeherint
oli
tt
lepieces"addsMzamoonsome,
l
et'
sganguponhi m [Link]
m agl
ance
befor
eputt
ingdownt hebottl
ebecauseIcan'
t
conti
nuedr
inki
nganymor e.
"
Sideeyeneverkil
ledanyone"headdsbef
oret
hey
l
[Link]'
tlaugh,i
t'
snotfunny.I
t'
sam
Chapt
er32

Nqubeko

"What?"Istopthecarandlookather
.Sheiscryi
ng
andIdon' tevenunderst
andwhatthi
smean.I'
ve
[Link]
ytal
kedwhenevershe
wastravelingNobuhle.
"
Shehi
redmet
ocar
ryt
hechi
ld"shesobs
"Buthow?Whodidyousleepwith?Whyisitmy
probl
em?"Ishoutandshecont
inuesobbi
ng.
"Tal
kwoman"Iyel
lwhenshedoesn'
tcont
inuet
o
expl
ain.
"Shet
ookmetoadoct
orandt
heyplanteditonme.
Yoursper
m"sher
epl
yinasmallandshakytone.
Idon'
[Link]
waysusingacondom
becauseIdidn'
twantt
[Link]
ookat
thecryi
ngwomannextt omeandreachoverbefor
e
openingthedoorf
orher.I
t'
[Link]
'snot
possi
ble.
"
Pleasegetout
"
Shedoesn'tseem shockedinst
eadshest
epoutand
dropapieceofpaperont heseat.
"That
'
[Link]
ereadyt
otal
[Link]
l"
sheaddsbef
orecl
osi
ngt
hedoor.
Iwatchasshewalkstotheot hersi
deoftheroad
andpull
[Link]'tbet
[Link]
s
taki
[Link]
ingmyselfasIdri
ve
away.

*
*
*
*
Itt
akesmeawhi letofindKhethel
obecauseI'
m
confusedandIdon' twanttocauseanaccidentsoI
havetodrivecarefull
[Link]
ndVusiandKhethel
oin
thehospit
[Link]
hcryi
ngand
l
eaningagainstthecar .
"
Whathappened?
"IaskasIhal
fwal
kandhal
frun
t
othem.
"Thet
rucklostcont
rol
,hi
tMzamoandanot
hert
axi
"
saysVusihisshoul
dersdr
oppi
ng.
"Di
dyouseehim?"maybetheymadeami
stake.
Theset
hingcanhappen.
Khet
hel
onodsandwi
pet
het
ear
sonhi
sface.
"
Andi
twasr
eal
lyhi
m?"
"
Yes"r
epl
iesVusi
.
Imovetostandnextt
othem andwest andqui
etl
y
whi
lestar
ingint
otheworl
dasi tcont
inuest
omove
onwit
houtMzamo.
Westandforalongt
imeunti
lthespel
lisbr
okenby
[Link]
'sThembekasoIanswer.
"
Wher
ear
eyou?
"Shesoundscal
m.
Il
ookupandbl
inkthet
ear
sinmyeyesbef
ore
cl
ear
ingmythr
oat.
"
I'
m atthehospi
tal
.Mzamowasi
nacaracci
dent
.
Hedidn'
tmakeit"
"Ij
[Link]
tonFacebook.I
'
m
sorr
yMbonambi "shesoundski
ndandthatmakes
mef eelweak.
"ThanksMaKhumal o"Iwhi
spersoshedoesn'thear
thatI
'm cr
[Link]'
twantt
otri
ggeranyt
hingfor
hersinceshesoundssocalm.
Webothgoquietf
oramomentbutIcanst
il
lhear
herbr
eat
hing.
"CanIcomeover
?"IaskeventhoughI
'
vebeen
sleepi
ngi
nherhouseever
ynight.
"[Link].I
..
..
pleasecome"sheexhal
esand
endthecall.
Igobackt
ostari
ngandthi
[Link]
wayheeasi
lycharmedwomenwi t
houtdoi
ngmuch.
Hewasalwayssmili
ngpol
it
elyandtheywoul
d
smil
eathi
m wit
hhopeofsomet hi
ngmorebut
Mzamowoul
dn'
ttaket
hingsf
urt
her
.
"Imi
sshi
m alr
eady"Ispeakf
ir
standKhet
hel
olooks
atmebutsaysnothi
ng.
"
It
'sunbel
ievabl
e"addsVusiqui
etl
y.
"Ihavet
ogohome"It
ellt
hem bef
oreIst
artwal
king
backtomycar
.
Ther ear
eot [Link] hem cryi
ng
becauset heyalsolostafami l
ymember .Iseea
womanbei ngsuppor t
edbyt woot herwomanas
theywalkbackt [Link]
[Link] ftheyhadki ds,howol darethey,
willshebeabl [Link] rli
veswi l
l
changef r
om nowon.

*
*
*
*

Thembekaissitt
ingonthecouchhuggi
ngoneknee.
Icantel
lshehasbeencr yi
ngbutshewi
pesthe
tear
sbeforeIcansitdown.
"I
'
m sorryaboutMzamo"shesmi lesandmoretears
shinei
[Link]
ngabout
somethingthatIcanfeelt
[Link]
oo
becauseit
'[Link]
ngtoget
her
j
ustthisaft
ernoonandnowhei sgone.
"
[Link]
shupf
oryou?
"Sheget
sup.
Ifol
lowhert
othekit
chenandwatchherasshe
[Link]
ingsandchi
cken.
Thesmelli
smout hwater
ing.
"
Whendi
dPr
ett
yleave?
"
"Aboutt
wohour [Link]
dthedumpli
ngsandI
cookedthem"shesmilesandIhopet
hissmi
le
meansshemadeaf ri
end.
"
Smel
lsgood"Ismi
leback.
Shenodsandcont
inuedi
shi
ngup.
"
Wheni
syourcheckup?
"
"
Tomor
rowat3"
"I
'
llcomewi
thyou"Ioff
erbef
oreopeni
ngt
he
drawerf
ort
heforkandkni
fe.
"
[Link]
ort
hecar
.Il
ovei
t"
Thecarissuesisl
ongfor
gott
en.I
twasmeanttobe
asurpr
isebutherout
burstwhenshef
oundPret
ty
rui
nedthings.
"If
orgottoleavet
[Link]
t"Iwal
koutt
o
getthem i
nmycar .
ThepieceofpaperwithFanel
e'
snumberissti
ll
ther
[Link]'
sevill
aughsomewhere.
Evenindeathshesti
llmanagestorui
nmylif
[Link]
'sa
scam,atinyvoi
cesaysinmyhead.
It
akethekeyandcl
oset
hedoorbef
orecal
li
ng
Sandi
le.
"
Heyman"hehear
daboutMzamo.
"
[Link]
eal
awyerr
ight
?"
"
Thel
astt
imeIchecked"hel
aughs.
Ican'
tlaugh.
"I
sitpossibl
eforapersontost
ealasperm andget
pregnantwit
houtyoubeingaware?
"Iaskloweri
ng
myvoi cej
ustincaseThembekaisli
steni
ng.
"
What
?"
"Awomancamet omyhouseclaimi
ngsheis
carryi
[Link]
ehi
redhertocar
rythe
pregnancy"i
tdoesn'
tmakesenseevenasIexpl
ain
i
t.
"
Haveyoumett
hewomanbef
ore?
"
"
IhavebutI'
veneversleptwi
thher
.Shesaysthey
wentt
oadoct orandthesper
m wasplant
edintoher
.
I
sthatevenpossibl
e?"
Sandi
legoesqui
etforamomentbefor
eIhear
pagestur
[Link]
ngsomet
hingsoIwai
t.
"
Wher ei
sthewoman?
"Heaskwhenhei
sbackt
o
t
alki
ngtome.
"
Idon'
[Link]
oldhert
ogetl
ost
"
"
Youneedt
ofi
[Link]
sshe?
"thatmakes
myhear
tdoadoubl
etake.
"Shesai
[Link]
'sascam"I
star
tcounti
[Link] ehasbeen
deadformonthsalr
[Link]
dbelongerthan
fourmonthorisi
tthree?Ican'
tbesure.
"
Nqubeko"Sandi
le'
svoi
cest
opsmycount
ing.
"
It
'sascam"
"Youneedtof
indher
.HaveaDNAtestandi
fit
's
yourswecanfindawayt
omakesureshehasan
abort
ion"
Heisnotmaki
[Link]
lthi
sfora
pr
egnancyt
hat'
scl
ear
lynotmine.
"Ineversl
eptwi
thher
.Nobuhl
eandIuseda
condom allt
het
ime"
"Comeseemet omor
[Link] l
lcal
lZweliand
havehim expl
ainhowit
'[Link]
[Link] t'
s
real
lyyoursshecansueyouforchil
dsupport"he
advise.
Icoul
dfeelt
heenergyleavesmybodysoIl
ean
agai
nstthecarandtr
ytocalm down.
"
Wewi
llf
indawayt
ofi
xthi
s"headds.
"
I'
llseeyout
omor
row"Iendt
hecal
landst
andt
her
e
f
oramoment .
"
Isever
ythi
ngokay?
"AskThembekast
andi
ngatt
he
[Link]
medandIr
eali
zeI'
vebeengone
forsolongforsomeonewhowenttogetakey.
"
I'
mfi
ne"Il
ockt
hecarandwal
ktoher
.
Shelooksatmelikeshecanseetheconfusi
oni
n
myheadbutIsmi leandt
[Link]'t
snatchi
tawayinsteadwebothwalkbackandIlock
thedoorbehi
ndme.
Thef
oodisont
hetabl
eandi
tmakesmer
eal
ize
howhungr
yIam.
"Thanks"It
akemypl
ateandshedoest
[Link]
botheatquiet
ly.
"Ineverst
oppedl
ovingyou"Isayt
hewordsslowl
y
asshet ur
[Link]
stareatme.
"Iwantust ofi
xthings.I'
dliket
[Link]
omise
todobet t
erthi
stime.I'dli
keustofixthi
[Link]
MaKhumal [Link] ustreminded
met hatli
feisnotguaranteed.I
tcanendsosudden.
I
t '
syouwhoownmyhear tandI'
dlovetolivet
he
restofmydaysbei ngagoodhusbandt oyou.
Please"Ibeg
Shedoesn'
[Link]
il
li
ngupwi
th
tear
sandhelipstr
emble.
"I
'
m sorr
y"shewhi
sper
sbefor
estart
swalksaway.I
standupandgr
abherhandbefor
eshegetsaway.
"Nomor er unni [Link]
ixthi
smyl ove.
Please"Ifor cehertostandsti
[Link] ove
[Link] .Ishoul
dhavedonebet terandIwant
todobet t
er .Sheonl yhastosayyes.
"Ican'
t"shet
ri
est
ogetoutofmygr
ipbutIwon'
tlet
her.
"
Whynot ?Iknowyoust i
lll
oveme"hereyesaren'
t
f
ullofhat
[Link]
lthat
.
"Becausebeingyourwi [Link]'twant
togobackt othat .Iwanttoknowmysel f
.Seewhat
elseisther
ebesi decookingandcl eaningand
mat chi
ngyoursocks"shei snotwr [Link]
fall
ingapartbecauseshei snotther e.
"
Iunder
stand"Il
ethergobutshedoesn'
twal
kaway.
"I
'
dli
ket
ogoonadat e,godanci
ng,
comehomelat
e
al
lgi
ggl
ingbecauseI
'
m happyandi
t'
sbeenagood
[Link] ryingaboutwhati fIget
[Link] ryingaboutdi sappoi ntingyou
becauseI'm awi feandIshoul dbehaveacer tain
[Link] ami l
yandseei ngt hem made
reali
zewhatImi ssedoutonwhengr owingup.
Everyoneusedt oyel [Link]' tallowed
tocrybecausecr yingmeantl etti
ngoutt hepai n
i
[Link] orcedt okeepal lthepai ninside.
Maybet hat'
swhyI 'm cryingnonst op.I t'
sallthat
[Link] .Exper iencesomet hingelsein
l
ife.I'
vebeenawi fealready.I'dl i
ket obeasi ngle
anddat i
ngThembekawhodr essesupf oradat e
andgodanci ng"itsoundsl i
keapl eaandInod.I
nodbecauseshei sri
ght .Itookherwhenshewas
j
ustayounggi r
[Link] feandkeptheri n
myhousewhi l
eIwasoutchasi ngl i
[Link] dhave
broughtherwithme.
"Iunder
stand"Ir
epl
ybef
orewr
appi
ngmyhands
aroundher.
"I
'
llgoforther
apy"shewhi
spersandIpul
lawayt
o
seeherfacejusti
ncasesheislyi
ng.
"
Forr
eal
?"
"[Link],Phi
liandPr
ett
ycan'
tbet
ell
ingmethe
samet hi
ng.I'
ll
goandmaybeIcanstopcr
ying"she
smilesbutthetear
sdon'
tst
op.
"Socant
hissi
ngleguyaskt
hissingl
eladyoutona
datet
hedayaft
ertomorr
ow"Itakeachance.
Shel
[Link]
eherever
y
ni
ghti
fitmeanswinni
ngherhear
t.
"I
'
llcheckmydiary"sherepli
esandwebothl
augh.
Mzamowasr i
[Link]
ingdivor
cedwasabadidea
butherexper
[Link]
sinher
ownpace.
Chapt
er33

Nqubeko

Themoodi ssour .Wejustburi

edMzamoandI
shouldbehavi ngdr i
nkswithVusiandKhet
helobut
Ican't
.I'
m meet ingSandil
eaboutFanel
[Link]
s
i
st helastplaceIwantt obeinri
[Link]
beinbedsl eepingbecauseIam tir
edandtheday
washel
lbutIcan'
t.
"Doyouneedarefi
llSi
r?"Askst
hewai
terl
ooki
ngat
anemptyglassi
nfrontofme.
"[Link] erwillpl
ease"Ir [Link]'tbe
drunkbeforeSandilegetsher [Link] srunninglate
andnowIwi shIsuggestedt heof f
icenott hi
sbar .I
thoughti
napubl i
cplacethingsmi ghtbebet terifhe
tel
[Link]' texact l
ybreakt heglasses
herandbr eakchairsbecauset heyar enotmi neand
Ihaveareput at
iontouphold.I t'
sstrangebuti t
workswhendeal i
ngwithcont rol.
Thewait
err
etur
nswi t
hwaterandIgivehi
m at
hank
younodbef
orelooki
ngatmywat chagai
n.
"
I'm her
e"announceSandi
lehur
ryi
ngover
.Hel
ooks
l
ikehewasr unni
ng.
"Ihopeyouhavebet
ternews"Isayashepul
lsouta
chairandsi
t.
"
Iwi
[Link]
dyouf
indher
?"Hewavesatt
hewai
ter
.
"
[Link]'
tansweranyofmycal
lsanddi
dn'
t
r
etur
nthecall
"Ist
opspeaki
ngwhenthewait
er
comesovert
otakehi
sor
der
.
"Wellt
hebadnewsisi t
'st
otal
lydoabl
[Link]
becarryi
ngyourchi
ld"helowershevoiceeven
thoughIpickedt
hecornerawayfrom othert
abl
es.
"Can'
tIsueher?
"Iwanttosayki
llbutSandil
eisa
l
[Link] ghtcl
eanupmymessever ynow
andthenbuthewon'tappr
eci
atethatl
etalone
agreei
ngtoit
.
"[Link]
o
abor
t"hei
gnoresmysui
ngquestionwhi
chmeans
i
t'
sano.
"
CanIbereal
lyf
orcedint
of at
her
hoodSandi
le?
"The
l
ooki
nhisfacesaysital
l.
"Youcan'tbefor
cedi
ntofat
her
hoodNqubekobut
youwillbefor
cedtopaychi
ldsuppor
tunt
ilt
hechi
ld
i
s18"
"Achil
dIdon'twant?
"Iyellf
orget
ti
ngthatwearei
n
publi
candanout bur
stfr
om mecoul dst
artup
conversat
ionsIdon'
twant.
Hedoesn'
trepl
yast
hewai
terbr
inghi
sdr
[Link]
waitunti
lthewai
teri
sgonebef
oregoi
ngbackt
o
ourdiscussi
on.
"Thecourthastothi
nkofthechil
dfi
r stNqubeko.I
f
shesuesyouf orsuppor
ttheywil
lgrantit
.Butit
's
notal
lbad"thereisnosparkinhi
seyeswhenhe
saysthi
swhi chmeansheknowsi twon'tworkout.
"
What
?"Iask
"
Youcansuef [Link]
hechi
ldandyour
money"yesi
'
mr i
[Link]'
sast
upididea.
"WhywouldIwantachi
ldIdi
dn'
thel
pmake"Idon'
t
addthatIwantt
ofi
xthi
ngswit
hThembekaandthat
won'
thappenift
her
eisachil
dontheway.
"Ourshotistheabort
[Link]
awayf [Link]
her"thatlastwordmeansme
[Link]
ckandpi [Link]
dhave
agreetomeetathomeorof fi
cesoIcanbr eak
something.
"I
sitlegal?
"I'
m notcl
uedupont hatdepar
tmentbut
Ithi
nkt her
eisaruleaboutnotabor
ti
nganold
pregnancy.
"
Onl
yift
hemotherandt
hechi
ldar
eatr
isk"hegi
ves
met
helook.
"Li
keifcar
ryingtot
erm canki
llher
?"Ihavet
obe
sureaboutthis.
"
Yes"
Inodandsipthewat er
.Ineedsomethi
ngstronger
soIlookaroundforthewaiterandmyeyeslandon
[Link] hi
ngtothr
ee
l
[Link]
ookatusandsay
somethingtoeachother.
"
That
'
sher
"It
ellSandi
leasIgetup.
"Who? "HeasksbutIdon'
[Link]
othei
r
tableandIseethem cont
inuetospeakasIget
[Link]
sdrinki
ngwine.I
sthatevenal
lowed?
"
Canwet
alk?
"Il
ookather
.
"Hi"oneladygr eet
smeandIignor
[Link]
e
picksuphergl assandsi
pthewinebefor
esheget
s
[Link] oserandaway
from hergroup.
"
Isawyourcal
ls"t
hat
'sal
lshesays?I
'
vecal
ledher
sever
alt
imesal
ready.
"
Andyounevert
houghtaboutcal
li
ngmeback?
"
"Iwasgoingtobefor
eIsleep"herhandtouchher
visi
blest
[Link]
nkshedoest hisf
ormy
react
ionbecausesheremoveherhandwhenIl ook
away.
"
Shoul
dyoubedr
inki
ngal
cohol
?"
"I
t'
sharmless.I
t'
sanonalcohol
icdr
[Link]
des,
oneglassisfi
ne"shel
ooksli
keshewantstorollher
eyesbutstops.
"
Why?
"
"Whywhat?
"Shepull
sachairandsi
[Link]
l
anot
herandsi
tapposi
teher
.
"Whydot his?IknowyousaidNobuhl easkedyouto
butwhydi dn'tyouthi
nkaboutt
ell
ingmef ir
st?How
didyouevendoi t
?"Thist
imesher ol
lshereyesand
sitbackont hechair.
"Shesavedasper
m aft
eryouhadsexwi t
hherand
wewentt oadoct
orwhoplant
edit
.It
'sreall
ythat
simpl
[Link]
shewasplanningtobeher
eggsbuttheguysai ditwaseasierwi
thmyeggsso
youandmear etheparents"hert
onesounds
dif
fer
entfrom thatgi
rlwhocamet [Link]
soundsconfidentnow.
"
Whynotabor
twhenNobuhl
edi
ed?
"
"Why?Youar ethefatherandi '
mt [Link]
e
bothalive"shesoundssof ooli
shr i
[Link]
problemswi thfool
si sthattheyneverknowwhento
[Link] ewthingsupast heygoalong.
"WellIdon'
[Link]
oyoursel
f"I
standupandwal kbackt
oSandilewit
houteven
l
ookingback.
"
Ihopeyoudi
dn'
tsayanyt
hingr
egr
ett
abl
e"he
war
ns.
Isi
tdownandsaynot
hing.
"Shei
scomingover"heannouncesaf
teramoment
andtheFanel
earr
ives.
"HiSandil
e"shegreet
shim andSandil
elooks
surpr
[Link]'
tthi
nkheexpectedhertoknowhim
"Nobuhletol
dmet hatyouareNqubeko'
scleaner
,
wel
llawyert
otheeducat
edones"
Sandi
lel
ooksatmeandIl
ookather
.
"
Miss.
..
.?"SaysSandi
lesoundi
ngpol
it
e.
"Fanel
[Link]
dhimthatthechi
ldisbinding.
Thereisnowayaroundthi
sone"hertonesounds
vindi
cti
veandIdon'
tgetit
.ShesaidNobuhleasked
herandshesaidyessowhybesovi ndi
ctiveabout
i
t?Nobuhleisdeadsowhyactli
keshet houghtthis
hersel
f.
"
Noti
fyouhaveanabor
ti
on"Ir
emi
ndher
.
"Why?Iwantt
ohavet
hisbabysowhywoul
dI
abort
?"
"It
hinkyoushouldgobacktoyourfr
iends"suggest
Sandil
[Link]
mflatandl
ookatme.
"YouseeIthoughtaboutt
[Link]
izedthatI
wanttohavethisbabysoi'
m [Link]
'saboy.
Yourhei
r"
"WellIdon'[Link].I
fyoukeepit
,it
's
yourproblem alone"[Link]'
tseem to
acknowledget hewarning.
"
ButIwi
llst
il
lgetchi
ldsuppor
tfr
om [Link]
neby
me"
"Soyouwantt
ohavet
hewholebabyjustt
omake
somemoneyoffhi
m?"AsksSandi
le.
"Youaresmar taf t
erall
.AnywayIwant edt otellyou
thatanythi
ngyouar eplanningisnotgoi ngt owor k.
Yousee, Il
earntsomet r
icksfrom Nobuhl [Link]
howt oprotectyourselfinsuchi ssues.I'vetaken
somei nsurance"shepul l
southerphoneandt urn
thescreentowar [Link] ookatt hephot oofme
andheri [Link] herewi thNobuhl e
andshet ookaphot oinfrontofmemaki ngsur ei'm
i
nt hephotoaswel l
.I'
m notlooki ngatthecamer a
butmyf aceshowscl [Link] eis
walkingawayf rom [Link] ookingatNobuhl e
that'
swhyIdi dn'tseehersnapt hephot o.
"Itprovest hatyouknowmeandi fyoutryanyt hing
I'
llleakthest or
yt [Link]
hem youar ea
deadbeat .Ifyout hi
nkyoucanmakemedi sappear,
thinkagai nbecausei '
vetoldeveryoneItrustthat
i
'm car r
yingyourchi ldandifItur
nupdeadyouar e
thef i
rstsuspect .Evenifi
tlooksli
kesuicide"she
smi
lesasshef
ini
shesherspeech.
Sandil
elooksatmeandIsaynot
hingunt
ilshe
walksaway.
"
Wow"hespeaks
"Let
'sgo"Igetupandpullmywalletbefor
ewaving
thewaiterover
.Sandi
ledoesn'
tpr
[Link]
nish
hisdri
nkandwebot hleavethepl
ace.
"Whatar
eyouthi
nking?"Heasksaswestandin
fr
ontoft
herest
[Link]
ngtoseparat
e
waysandhedoesn'twantt
owalkawaytoleaveme
here.
"Nothi
[Link]
ogohomeandr est
"Il
iewhil
e
pull
ingoutmyphoneandsnappi
ngtwoshotsof
Faneleandherfr
iends.
"Don'
tdoanythi
ngstupidNqubeko"hewar
[Link]
andofferahandshake.
"
I'
llcal
lyout
omorrow"Iaddbef
orewal
kingaway.
Healsodoesthesame.
Igeti
nsi
dethecarbef
orecal
li
ngMlul
eki
.IfFanel
e
thi
nksshecanbl
ackmailmesoeasi
lyt
henshe
watchest
oomanymovi
esandser
ies.I
'l
lshowher
whatIdowit
hpeopl
ewhodon'
twanttostayi
nthei
r
l
anes.
Chapt
er34

Nqubeko

"Di
dyouf indit"IaskMl ulekithemomenthe
answer st
hephone.I 'vegivenhi m si
ncelastnight
tofindanythi
nghecanf induseagai nstFanele.I'
m
holdingmybr eaththathef indssomet hi
ng.
Anyt hi
ngwoul ddor i
ghtnow.
"
Hel
lot
oyout
oo"het
hinksIhavet
imef
orj
okes.
"NotnowMl [Link]
dyoufi
nd?"It
ryt
osound
calm sohedoesn'
tcont
inuet
easi
ng.
"
For
[Link]
eyour
eadyf
oryourdat
e?"
"
I'
m wrappi
ngupher
eandthengochange"Icheck
t
heti
meandIhavemorethantwohourstoget
r
eady.
"Youneedtoshave,wearashir
t,f
ormalpant
sanda
j
[Link] hi
nkyouhavetimetosor
t
allt
hatoutandnotbelat
e?"
"
What?St oppreachingtomeaboutadat [Link]
Mlul
[Link]
ssuehere!!
"Iyel
l
.Whydoes
Mlul
ekipickthisdaytobechil
dish?
"Rel
axaboutFanel
[Link]'
twanthert
orui
nyour
eveni
[Link]?"
"Shei
spregnantMl
uleki
.Thebabyisgrowi
ngeach
andever
[Link]
ningmyli
fe!!
"
HelaughsandIendt
[Link]
llcal
lmeback
whenhewantstogetser
ious.
Somet hingtel
lsmet hatFanel
ewasn'
tbluf
fing
abouthavi ngsomeinsurance.I
fshetur
nsupdead
theywillconnecthertoNobuhleandthepregnancy
whichmi ghtt
ri
ggerquesti
onsIdon'
twantpeople
[Link] thsil
enci
ngNobuhlebutIcan'
t
bethatluckyagain.
Thephoner
ingsagai
n,Ml
ulekii
sreadyt
oget
ser
ious.
"
And?
"Ianswer
.
"
Wear ef
oll
owingsomethi
ngandassoonaswe
f
indsomethi
ngworthsomethi
ngI
'l
lletyouknow"
"Somet
hingl
ikewhat?
"I'
mimpati
entbutIcan'
thelp
i
[Link]
othecornerIcan'
tst
ay
put.
"Leavethattome"hesoundsser
[Link]
ket
his
Mlulekibecauseheknowshowserioust
his
sit
uationis.
"Myf eari
st hatshewi l
ltel
lThembekaaboutthi
s
andshewi llneverforgi
veme"Icanpi ct
ureher
brokenhear tfaceagainandIdon'twantthi
stoget
there.
"Youneedt
otel
lherf
ir
st"hesuggest
sli
kei
t'
sso
easy.
"How?'turnsoutNobuhle'sl
apdogi sacrazybitch.
Sheistrappingmewi thababy' Yeahright"Il
augh
becausehei sbeingstupidr
[Link] eisno
wayshewi l
lbel
ievethatIdi
dn'tsleepwithher.
Onceyoucheatonawomanyour emainthat.A
cheater
.
"Buti
fyout el
lherfi
rstyouhavechancetohaveher
[Link]
stoherfi
rstshewil
l
neverbel
ieveanywor dyousay"
"I
nThembeka' seyesi'
m al
readyacheaterMlul
eki.
Shewillneverbel
ieveme"Ican'tr
iski
[Link]
uth
doesn'
talwaysfixthi
[Link]
emslikethese
anyway.
"Noti
fyouar ecluel
esslikeher .Ifsheseesthatyou
areal
sotryingfi
ndasol utiont othisshemighteven
j
oinfor
cesbuti fFanel
eget stoherf i
rstt
henit'
sBye
ByeCheatingNqubekoandhel lotosomeoneelse.
Sheissi
ngl eandavail
abl eafterall"t
hosewords
sti
ngbecausehei srubbingi tin.
"
Ist
hatnecessar
y?"
"Youareacti
ngal lst
if
faboutthi
[Link]
smartpersonwi l
ltel
lyouthi
[Link]
thetr
uthfrom younother"Icanhearannoyancein
hisvoi
ce.
"
Andi
fsheneverwant
stoseemeagai
n?"
"
Shewi l
lbeangr
yforashortwhil
eandthatanger
wil
ldi
rectedt
[Link]
si
de!
!"
Therei
sagent
leknockatt
hedoorbef
oreThobi
le
walksi
nwi
thmydr ycl
eani
ng.
"Okayfi
ne.I'
l
ltel
lher"Il
[Link]
ekii
sasmar t
cri
minalbutidoubtheisallcl
uedupwi thwomen
i
[Link]
labl
e
womenf orcryi
ngoutloud.
"
ThanksThobi
l
e"Shesmi
lesandwal
kout
.
"Youareweari
ngthatbluejacketar
en'
tyou?
"he
askssoundi
nglikeheislaughing.
"
Youar
enotast
yli
st"ihi
ssandcl
osemyl
apt
op.
"ThankGodf orthat
.Nqubekoyouar enotgoingon
adat ewithyourwi f
[Link] ma
[Link]' tfor
gettoimpr essher.I'
m off
"
heendst hecallbef
oreicoul
devendi gesthi
s
wor ds.I'
mt aki
ngmywi feondat [Link] ssi
ngleon
paper .

*
*
*
*
Ipackupmyl aptopandl ocktheoff
icebefore
askingThobil
et ocancelmyappoi ntmentsforthe
[Link] i
stenscareful
lyandwr i
teal
lthe
i
nst r
ucti
[Link] ookatherasshekeeps
fl
ickingherhairbackandsmi li
ngli
keshenever
getspissedoff.
"Haveagoodeveni
ngSi
r"sheaddbef
oreicanwal
k
away.
"
Yout
oo"ir
epl
ybef
orest
oppi
ng"
Areyousi
ngl
e?"
Thequest
ioncomesoutsowrongtwoladi
es
walki
ngpastact
ual
lyst
opandstar
[Link]
lei
s
fr
ozen.
"
Sorr
[Link]
ong"Igr
inandt
hel
adi
es
r
esumetheirwal
k.
"I
'
m notsi
ngl
eSi
r"hervoi
cei
sabi
[Link] it
hat
scar
y?
"[Link]
spret
endyouar
esi
ngl
[Link]
dyougo
outwithme?"
Hereyesgr
owl
arge.
"Idon'
tmeantheact
[Link]
e
singl
eandiaskyouondate,wouldyou?"
Sheexhal
eandt
hesmilei
sbackonherf
acebut
shel
ooksatmeandIseeadoubt
.
"
Ifyouwer
en'
tmyboss?
"
"[Link]
wostrangersandiaskyou
[Link]?"WhydidiletMlul
ekigett
ome
l
ikethis?Iwasfi
nebef
orehest ar
tedt
alki
ngabout
mydat e.
"
Wel
l.
..
.eh"
"Youwoul
dn'
t?"[Link]
dn'tshe?I
havemoneyandithinki'
m nott
oobadtolookat.
Whyissheact
inglikei'
m ahobo?
"
Unl
essyoushaveanddon'tl
ooksoangr
y"she
r
epl
iesqui
ckl
yanddropsherpenint
heprocess.
"Shave?
"It
ouchmybear
dandshei
sri
ght
,ihaven'
t
shavedinf
ewdays.
"
YesSi
randwearasmi
leonyourf
ace"
"
Ismi
leThobi
le"
"
Notallt
het
ime"shel
ooksawaywhenshesays
t
his.
"
I'
vebeenani
ght
mar
elat
ely?
"
Shei
sst
il
lsmi
li
ngbutshedoesnod.
"Weknowt hatyouar
egoingt
hroughgr
ief
.We
under
stand"sheaddsandInod.
"I
'
m sor
ryiwasn'
taware.I
'
llt
ryt
olookl
essangr
y"i
smil
eandstar
twalki
ngaway.
"I
'
m sor
rySir
,buti
fyouhaveadat
eiwouldsuggest
youwearsomethi
ngel
[Link]
hatj
acket
"
Ist
opwal
kingandl
ookatt
hej
acketonmyhands.
"
Whynot
?"
"
Blackworksbet
ter
"shesmi
lesandhercheeks
t
urnsreddi
sh.
"Thanks.I
'l
lpi
cksomet
hingbl
[Link]
evening"

*
*
*
*

Iwasdoi ngfi
nebef or
eMl ulekisaidsomet hing
aboutchar mi
[Link] 'm standingi n
frontofthemirr
orandt ryingoutdi fferentclothes.
I'
veneverbeeni napositionwher eineededt o
i
mpr [Link] eastnott hi
[Link] ora
tri
mmi ngandcombedmyshor thairbecauseidi dn'
t
wantt ogetahaircutjustyet .Nowi '
m standingin
themi r
rorwonder i
ngifIlookgoodenoughf ormy
exwi f
[Link] r
roriscluelessasiam soIcal lVusi
hopinghecant alksomesensebackt omyhead.I
shouldn'tbef
eelingli
ket hisoveradat ewithmy
ownwi fe.
"
Heyman"hesoundsl
ikehei
ssl
eepi
ng.
"
Didiwakeyou?
"It
'st
ooear
lyf
orhi
mtobesl
eepi
ng.
"
Yeahbuti
t'
scool
.What
'sup?
"
It
akeadeepbr
eat
hbef
orespeaki
ng.
"Thembekaagreedt
ogooutwi
[Link]
goonadat eandhaveagoodt
ime.I
'
mt aki
ngher
out
"
Iexpecthi
mt ol
aughbuthedoesn'
[Link]'
sdeat
h
hithi
m evenhar
derthanweal
lthoughti
twoul
d.
"
That
'
sgood"
"
Yeahbutwhati
fidon'
tgetherback?
"
Hegoesqui
etf
oramomentbef
orehesneezesand
cough.
"Youaredoingthisal [Link]'tgo
ther
etogetyourexwi f
[Link]
becauseyouliket heladyandwant st
ogett oknow
herbetter
.Bepr esentablebutmostofalll
et
Thembekadeci dei fshewantsdateyouagai [Link]
y
thenit
'sfai
r"
"[Link] hatf
ir
stdat
ecanbethi
s
nervewrecki
ng"Ihal
fjokeandexpectal
aughbut
therei
snone.
"
Haveagoodt
imeanddon'
tfor
get
.Shei
sner
vous
t
oo"
"
Iwon'
[Link]"
"
Shar
p"heendst
hecal
landist
areatmyphonef
or
amomentbef
orecal
li
ngKhet
hel
[Link]
saf
ter
awhi
le.
"
Areyoubusy?"Idon'
tevengr
eetandhesounds
l
ikehei
sdri
ving.
"
Justpul
li
ngupi
nVusi
'
spl
ace"Ihearadoorsl
am.
"
[Link]
ngtoaskyoutocheckonhim"i
f
eelr
eli
evedt
hathei
sdoingthatal
ready.
"
[Link]
staki
ngi
tbad"
"
Iknow.I
'
llcomeseehi
mtomor
row"
"Thatwouldbegreatbecauseihavetotakemywife
tosomef amil
ythi
ngandt henvisi
tthei
nlaws"i
wanttolaughathim becausehehateshisinl
aws
[Link]'
sfuntowatch
butidon'
tlaughri
ghtnow.
"Nqubeko,di
dyoueversuspectt
hatMzamowas
bisexual
?"Thequest
ioncat
chesmeoffguar
d.
"
What
?"
"
Tomorrowjusthangoutwit
hVusi
.Wedon'
twant
t
[Link]
hThembeka"
I
'
mlef
[Link]
dhaveknown.

*
*
*
*

I'
m [Link] t
ershowsmet hetableandask
mei fiwantadr [Link]
ellhi
m yesandal mostorder
awhi skerybutican'[Link]
i
[Link] ckedthi
srestaurantbecauseweonce
boughtsomet akeawayher eandThembekal oved
thei
[Link] t'
ssti
llgood.
"ThereyougoSi r
"hepl acest hewaterdownand
[Link] m andhei sstarri
ngatthedoor .
Ther est
aurantgoesqui etandIseeot herpeople
[Link] tht
hei rmouthshangi ngopen
andl adi
esgivingthem t [Link] ost
and
upandt ellt
hem t ofuckof [Link] neand
theyshouldn'tlookather .
I
t'
[Link]
mostunrecogni
sableinthat
t
ightdr
esssheisweari
ng.I
t'
sshortandti
[Link]
shortl
egslooklongerandherhipswi [Link]
shedidn'
tlookl
ikethiswhenilastsawher .Her
breast
[Link] ooks
aroundandspotmebef oreshesmi lesandcont i
nue
[Link]
hemenopposi te
ourtabl
[Link]
aringatherlikeshei sa
pieceofmeat.
"
Hi"shegr
eet
sandigetupt
ohugandpul
lachai
r
f
orher.
"
[Link]
fer
ent
"ican'
thel
pit
.Shedi
dnot
l
ookl
iket
hisbef
ore.
"Pr
ett
ydi
[Link]
sreal
lygood"shesi
ts
downandsmi
le.
"
[Link]
hatyoueverneededany"idon'
t
l
ikePr
ett
yanymore.
"
Feel
sni
cet
obeoutoft
hehouse"
"Wouldyoul
ikeadri
nk?"Iaskwhil
elooki
ngather.I
knewshewasgoingt ol
[Link]
if
ul
butdamnididn'
tthi
nkshewilll
ookli
kethi
s.
"
Agl
assofwi
nepl
ease"shepi
cksupt
hemenuand
l
[Link]
ookatt
hemenagai
[Link]
etal
king
abouthericant
ell
.
Iwavet
hewait
eroverandaskfort
[Link]
sal
l
smil
eywit
hherandIfeel
li
kepunchi
nghim.
"Sohowwasyourday?
"istar
taconver
sat
ionso
shecanst
oplooki
ngaround.
"
[Link]
ngwithPr
ett
[Link]
wor
kjustt
oseeherandshetookmeshopping.I
t'
s
wasni
ce"
"
That
'
[Link]
hedr
esswasheri
dea?
"
"[Link] ckingt hi
sfl
oralski
rtandshesaidit
wasabadi deaunl essiwasgoi ngtoapart
y"ican't
tel
lifshei
ssayi [Link]
dressisnice,ver ysexyandt hemaninsi
deme
want stor
ipittopi [Link] dshestart
swingingherhi pslikethi
s?
"Ar
eyounotcol
d?"Myeyeslandonthechest
.The
cuti
slowert
henitshoul
dbeforherbr
east
s.
"No.I
'mfi
ne"thesmi
leonherf
aceseemst
ofadea
bit
.It
'smytone.I
'
vef
ail
edtohi
deit
.
"
Youhat
eit
"shel
ower
shervoi
ce.
"
[Link]'
t"Il
[Link]
eit
.
"Icant
ell
.You'
vebeenlooki
ngar
oundl
ikeyouar
e
embarr
assedaboutthi
s"
"I
'm not
.I'
mjustshockedt
hatyoucanlooklikethi
s.
I'
veneverseenyouli
kethi
sbefor
e"thewaiteris
backwithherwineandheaskforourorder
.
Itel
lhim whatiwantt
oeatandhewr it
esitdown
beforetur
ningtoher
.Icanseehiseyeslandonher
chestandthenhiseyesgoalldr
eamybef or
ehe
smiles.
Sheor
der
sherf
oodandt
hankhi
[Link]
wal
kaway.
"Youexpect
edmet
owearsl
ipper
sandj
oggi
ng
pants?
"
"[Link]
pri
[Link]
'sal
l"it
ryt
o
soundallcal
m abouti
t.
"
Becauseyout houghti'
l
lbewear
ingalongdress
l
ooki
ngl i
keyourexwi f
e?"Ial
mostsayyesbefor
e
r
eali
zingi'
m abouttorui
nit.
"
No.I
'
m sor
ryf
ormyr
eact
ionThembeka"
"It
'[Link],
I'
dliket
ohaveagoodt i
[Link]
can'tseemeasnotyourwi f
ethenwecanfinish
thisandnotwast eeachother'
sti
me"hert
one
soundsannoyedandIcan' thavethat
.Notwhen
shel ooksliket
his.
"I
[Link]
dn'tmeant oruinthisf
orus"
[Link] n.
Theyar
esti
lll
ooki
ngandif eelli
ketell
ingthem of
f.
"
SoMi
ssKhumal
o,whatdoyoudof
orf
un"iask
"Fornowi'm st
il
ltryingtonavigatemywayar ounda
newphasei nmyl ifesoi'm experimenti
ngwiththi
s
[Link]'tsayanexactt hingsofar
.What
aboutyou?"Shelooksupandt hereisnosil
lysmile
[Link] nterest
[Link]
wanttogettoknowmeaf terall.
"
Depends"
"
Onwhat
?"Ther
eisasmi
lenow.
"
Whoi
'
m wi
th"
"
Real
ly?
"
"
Yeah"Iwantt
osayienj
oyt
ravel
li
ngbutiuset
o
l
eaveherbehi
nd.
"
Whenyouar
ewi
thf
ri
ends?
"
"Wedrinkandteaseeachother
.Weenjoywatching
sport
.Wheni'm al
oneIenjoyplanni
ngmyprojects.
I'
m sortofaworkahol
ic"shel
aughswhenisayt his.
"
Bet
terawor
kahol
ict
henanal
cohol
ic"
"[Link] ai
sedtopr
ovi
de
andi can'
tdothati
fidon'
twor
khard"
"
Verytr
ueandever
ythi
ngi
nthi
sli
fei
sexpensi
ve.
Onehasnochoi
cebutwor
khard"
"
Iwoul
dn'tsayeveryt
[Link]
ngsaref
ree"I
f
orcemyselfnott
ostareathercl
eavage.
"
Likewhat
?"
"
[Link]
dn'
tcostanyt
hing"
"Yeahunti
ltheycheatonyouandbr eakyourhear
t.
Somepeopl edon'
tdeserveit"t
hatcomesoutsharp
andwhatithoughtwasaf lowingconver
sati
on
turnst
enseandbi t
teri
nblink.
"Wel ovethesepeopl [Link]
everythi
ngbutt hent heytur
nar oundandsmack
your i
ghtinthef [Link].A
l
otsopeopl ewoul dn'
ttakei
tf orgr
anted"sheadds
beforedrinkingherwi neagain.
Chapt
er35
Thembeka

Thisisdef i
nit
elynotgoingaccor
dingt
oplan.I
thoughtthedat ewasgoi ngt
[Link]
NqubekoandIwi l
lgetonsowellandhavefunbut
i
t'[Link]'thavementi
onedthecheati
ngbut
Icouldn'thelpit
.It'
sthewayhekeepslooki
ngatme.
It'
sli
kehewant stostri
pmenakedorcovermeup.I
feeldi
srespectedandIwantt ogohomeal r
eady.
"Doyouwantsome...
..
"Hestar
ttoaskbutIst
op
[Link]'
tlett
hiseveni
nggowor sef
rom t
his.
"
[Link]"Ipi
ckupmybagandsear chf
ormy
wal
let
.Iseethewai
terl
ooksatmeinshockand
Nqubekoal
soopenhismouthtospeak.
"
I'
m payi
ng"hesoundspi
ssedof
.
"I
t'
sfi
ne.I
'
llpayf
ormyhal
f"Iopenmywal
letand
countt
hemoney.
"Don'
tberi
dicul
ous"hehissesandcheckt
hebi
ll"
I'
ll
pay"heget
supandpul louthiswal
let
.
"Thet
[Link]
ortheser
vice"Ismi
leatt
heguy
asheretur
nsasmi l
easwell.
"Her
e"saysNqubekoshovi
ngt
hemoneyt
othe
guy'
shand.
Thewai terl
ookslikehewant stobur sti
ntol aughter
[Link]
akemybagandwal kout
feel
[Link] dn'thavelistenedt o
Prett
yaboutt [Link] t'sli
ke
everyonecant el
[Link]
'sabi tweird
thoughbecauseIusedt owearshor toutfi
tswhi le
outwi t
hmyhi redfri
endsandIdi dn'tfeelli
ket his.
"Thembeka"hecallsbehindmeandIslowdownbut
don'tstop.I
t'
sabitcoolernowandIdi
dn'
tbri
ng
anythingtowearoverthedress.
"
What
?"Hecat
chesupwi
thme.
"Whatwast
hat
?"Heasksbefor
ehest
andsi
nfr
ont
ofmesoIcan'
tkeepgoi
ng.
"
What
?"Iar
oundandhemovest
obl
ockmeagai
n.
"
Soyour
uinedt
heeveni
ngonpur
pose?
"
"Rui
n?HowdidIruinitwhenit'
swasyouwhowas
acti
ngsost
range?"Iyel
lfeel
ingtheangerr
ise
i
nsideme.
"
HowwasIact
ingsost
range?
"
"
Soyout r
eatal
lyourdat
esli
kethi
s?Lookatthem
l
ikeyouarenotsur
ewhethert
ostri
pthem orcover
t
hem up!
!!
!?"
"
That
'
snott
rue"hel
ower
shi
svoi
ceandl
ooksaway.
"
Ithi
[Link]
womanliket hi
sNqubeko"Istar
twal ki
[Link]
l
ookstupid,argui
ngonthesideoft heroadli
kethi
s.
"Iwascaughtofguar
[Link]
dn'texpectt
o
seeyouli
kethis.I
'
veneverseenyoul
ookingli
ke
thi
sbefor
e"
"Soi
'
mright
.Yout
hinkIl
ooki
nappr
opr
iat
e?"Ist
op
andl
ookathi
m.
"[Link]
[Link]
geous"hel
ooksatmeup
anddown.
"Butyoudidn'teventhinkIdeservef l
owers,a
complimentthatdoesn' timplyi
'm dressal
lwrong
andsomemanner s"hel ookssur
prisedbefor
e
cursesqui
etly.
"It
otal
lyf
orgotthefl
ower
s"hel
ooksar
oundasi
fhe
expect
sagar dentopopup.
"I
tdoesn'tmat ter
.YouandIfai
[Link]
iedand
fai
[Link] ogethome"Icanseemycaralready
soIstartwal ki
[Link]
lowsandwewal k
quietl
yuntilIgetther
e.
"I
'
m sorr
yIrui
nedt
heni
ght
"hehol
dst
hedooropen
asIgeti
n.
"
It
'sf
ine"
Henodsandcloset
hedoor
.Ist
artt
hecarandwave
asIdr
iveof
f.

*
*
*
*
Livi
ngnearthecit
ycentrehasi t
'sadvantages,
It
takesmelessthan15mi nutestodrivebackhome
andIseeNqubekodr i
vingbehindmeasIopent he
gateanddri
[Link]'tfoll
owi nst
eadhe
wavesanddr i
vepast
.Ofcausehewant edtosee
[Link]' tf
aul
thim ont hatbecausesafetyis
i
mpor t
ant.
Iki
cktheshoesof fandl
ockthedoorbef
oremaki
ng
acallt
oPr et
[Link]
simmediatel
yasi
fshe
waswai t
ing.
"
[Link]
ebackear
ly"t
hat
'sherf
ir
stl
ine.
"
Wor
se"It
akeoutt
hei
cecr
eam.
"
Noways"
"
Forr
eal
"Isear
chf
ort
hespoonandsi
tont
hechai
r.
"Hekeptl
ookingatmyboobsandbetweenthathe
waslooki
ngattheseguyswhower eal
solooki
ngat
[Link]
hinki
nghewillat
tackt
hem or
somethi
ng"
"
Youl
ie"shel
aughs.
"[Link]
neditbymentioni
ngcheati
[Link]
facewentsourr i
ghtt
here"It
akeaspoonfulofthe
coldtreatandmymooddoesn' timmedi
atel
y
i
mpr ove.
"
Cheat
ing?
"
"
Isai
dweaswomendoal lt
heset
hingsf
ormenand
t
heyrewar
dusbycheat
ing"
Pr
ett
[Link]
dlaughbef
oreIhearsomet
hing
br
eak.
"
Areyouokay?
"Iask
"Justknockedmygl
assover
.Yousai
dthat
?"Shei
s
sti
lll
aughing.
"
[Link]
dn'
trecoveraf
tert
hatone"
"
Icanonlyi
[Link]
dethat
.Whatel
sewent
wrong?
"Sheasksnolongerl
aughi
ng.
"Nothi
[Link]
fer
edt opayandIt
hinkImi
ghthave
off
endedhim abitbythat
"
"
[Link]
eal
lywentf
ort
heki
ll
"
"
Meani
ng?I
sitwr
ongt
opayf
ormyownf
ood?
"I
don'
tgeti
[Link]?
"Youreal
lyneedtodateotherpeopleandseehow
dati
ngwor [Link]'
tpaythebillunl
essyouboth
agreedtopayhalf.I
fheistaki
ngyououtt henhe
pays"
"
Whati
fitcostmor
ethanhi
sbudget
?"
"I
nthatcaseyouhelphim outbutNqubekocannot
beoverhisbudget
.Yes,someguydoi ngint
ernshi
p
orworkinsomeplacethatcanbet hecasebutnot
[Link] pay"Thissounds
l
ikealect
ureandIcani magineherpointi
ngaf i
nger
atmeasshesayst his.
"
[Link]
dn'
tknow"
"[Link]
[Link]
rstdat
es
don'
tal
waysworkout"
"
Idoubtwewi
llhaveasecondone"Iaddaf
tera
moment.
"
Why?It
houghtyouwer
etr
yingt
ofi
xyouguys"
"I
t'
sst
upi
dandawast
eofti
me"Iputt
hespoon
downandcl
oset
hei
cecr
eam.
"Thewhol
edatemyexi
sstupi
dandchil
[Link]
y
gir
lIdi
dn'
twantt
osayi
tandrui
nyourevening"
"
It
'scool
.Wet
ri
ed"
"Havesomeicecr
eam andcal
litani
ght
.I'
l
lcome
seeyoutomorr
ow"
"
Thanksgi
rl
.Goodni
ght
"
"
Nightgi
rl
"sheendst
hecal
landIcal
lPhi
li
.
"Hel
lo"shesoundsasl
[Link]
ckl
ycheckt
het
ime
andit'
saft
[Link]
y.
"
Sor
[Link]
dn'
tmeant
owakeyou"
"I
t'
sokay.I
t'
ssocoldandr
aini
[Link]
ici
tyi
s
outandwecouldn'
tmaket
[Link]
ythi
ngiswet"
"
That
'
[Link] osl
eepCuz.I
'l
lcal
lyou
t
omorrow"Ishoul
dhavet
extedf
ir
st.
"
Areyouokay?
"
"
I'
mf i
neandi
'
m notcr
yingt
oday"Il
aughandshe
l
aughsaswel
l.
"
That
'
[Link]
ssyou"
"I
'
m comi [Link]' tt
ellt
hekids.I
wanttosurprisethem"Iwantedtosurpr
isehertoo
butI
'm badwi thsecr
[Link]
edabout
somethingit
'shardtokeepital
lin.
"
Iwon'
ttel
[Link]'
twai
ttoseeyou"
"
Met
[Link]
ght
"
"Il
[Link]
"sheendsthecallandi
'
m
l
eftsmil
[Link]'
snotal
[Link]
y
befor
emaki nganotetobuyaheaterfort
hem.

*
**
*
**

Mor ningsarear ealremi nderthatmyl if

edoesn' t
[Link] ogobackt owor knowbutI
can'[Link]
eIgetal lclearforthedoct [Link]
ean
thelitt
ledi
rtypartsbef orehavingbr eakfastinfront
[Link] l
edPhi liandshesai dtheyar eokay
butit'sst
il
lrai
ningandt heki dsdidn'tgotoschool .
WhenIcal ledPrettyshewasal readyatwor kwhi ch
l
eavesmebor
edandal
one.
Ieatandwasht heplat
ebef or
et aki
ngphoneand
thekeyssoIcangof orawal landbuysomebr ead
i
nt hegaragedownt her [Link]
catchesmyat tent
ion.I
t'
sawomanandwavesf or
myat tent
ion.
Ipr
esstheremoteandwatchasshewal ksinsi
de.
Sheiscl
ear
lypregnantandthet
ightt
-shi
rtshehas
onhugsherstomachinaniceway.
"
Hi"shesmilesbutherfacel
ooksal
it
tl
efami
li
ar
l
ikeI
'veseenherbefor
e.
"Hi
.CanIhel
pyou?"Iassumeshemustbel
ost
event
houghi'
veseenherfacebef
ore.
Hersmil
evani
shesandIt
hinkshemi
ghtst
art
cr
ying.
"I
'm sor
[Link]'
tmeantoscareyou"shewipeher
eyesandsmi leagai
nbutIcantel
lshelookshur
t.
"Doyouneedtositdown?
"Iof
feral
readyt
urni
ngt
o
openthedoorsoshecancomein.
"
Please"
"Comeonin"Iunl
ockt
hedoorandwal
kbacki
n.
Shefol
lowsandsit
sonthecouch.
"Mynamei sFanel
e"t
hewayshesaysi
t,i
t'
sli
keshe
expectt
hattori
ngabelli
nmyhead.
Inodandwai
tforhert
ocont
inue.
"MonthsagoIwashi r
edbyNobuhl et
obeher
surr
[Link]
dyesand..
..
"shecuddlesher
stomachbeforeateardr
opsf r
om hereyesandl
and
onthehandoverherstomach.
"Nobuhl
e?"Icanfeelt
heenergydr
aininmyown
[Link]
aughasshei nsul
[Link]
Nqubekoadmi t
ti
ngtheaffai
r.
"[Link]
dyestocarr
yingt
hebabyforNobuhl
e
andNqubeko"herwordsfeell
ikeahardki
cki
nthe
[Link]
ryi
ngNqubeko'sbaby.
Chapt
er36

Thembeka.
"I
'
m sorr
ytodropt
hiskindofbombonyou"she
addswhenIremai
nfrozenandmyeyesstar
ingat
herst
omach.
"Idon'
tunderst
andwhyyoucamet omethough"I
trytosoundunshakenbutdeepdowni
tfeel
sli
kea
stabfrom asword.
"Nqubekowant
stoki
llt
hebaby"hervoi
cebr
eaksas
shelookatmewit
hglassyeyes.
"
Kil
l?
"Whowoul
dwantt
oki
llababy?
"Nobuhl ewentbehi ndhisbackwi ththewhol e
[Link] oachedmeIt hought
theywer eini [Link] edIf oundout
shedi dn'ttel
[Link] edtor ai
sethebabyal one.
Imeani t
'schildalreadysoIcan' tgetri
dofi [Link]
nowIl ostmysour ceofincomeandwi thNobuhl e
goneIcanseet hati twon'tbeeasyt odoi talone.
SoIappr oachedhi m andnowhewant smet o
abort"thet earsstartleakingandIl ookawaysoI
don'tjoinin.
Noonepr
epar
edmef
ort
his.
"
Shedi
ditwhi
lewewer
est
il
lmar
ri
ed?
"Iaskj
ustt
o
besur
[Link]
orewewer
edivorcedand
It
houghtherdeat
hshewasgonefor
everinmyl i
fe.
"Yes"sher
epl
iesi
[Link]
andNobuhlehadahandinrui
ningmyli
feeven
thoughIwasdumbenoughnottoseeit
.
"Sowhatdoyouwantf
rom me?
"It
rynott
osound
sobit
ter
.
"Canyoupl easetalktohim.I '
llrai
set hebabyal one.
Idon'thaveapr oblem buti'
llneedsomeassi st
ance
witht hi
[Link] dsisexpensi vebutIcan't
abort"shecont i
nuest osobandIf eelsor r
yforher.
Nott hestupidsituationsheputher selfinbut
havingt odot hi
st osomeonel [Link]
nodoubtt hatNqubekoi sprobabl yhavi ngsleepless
nightstryi
ngt omakesur ethebabydoesn' tmakei t
.
Imayhavemar riedyoungandwasbl indedby
everythingforyearsbutevenIknowt hatpeople
withmoneycanber uthl
esswheni tcomest o
babiesandmoney.
"Soyouwanthi
mt opaychi
ldsuppor
tatl
east
?"I
askjustt
obesureweareonthesamepage.
"
[Link]
sli
[Link]'
t
mind"shesoundsdesper
ate.
"Andi
fyoudieandt
hebabyi
slef
twant
ingt
ofi
nd
howtheycameabout
?"
"Idohavesomef amil
ymembersandmaybe
Nqubekowi l
lchangehi
smindoncethebabyi
sher
e.
Ijustdon'
twanttobetheoneki
ll
ingi
t"
Allt
hisremindsmeoft hemiscar
ri
[Link]
fel
tthatdayIneverwanttof
[Link]
wouldwantt oi
ntent
ional
lyf
eelit
.
"Soyouwantmet otalktohim?Wear edivor
ced
[Link]
fe"sheseems
surpri
sedandIhatehavingtodot hi
sbecausemy
feel
ingstowardst
hisdon'tr
eall
ycount .
"
I'
m sor
ry.I
'
mjustdesper
ate"
"
I'
mr eal
lysor
[Link]
eal
lywishIcanhel
p"Il
ookatthe
t
imet [Link]
messagebeforesheget
sup.
"
Thankyou"shesmi
lesandwi
pet
het
ear
sonher
f
ace.
"
Goodluckhey"Iaddbef orehol
dingt hedooropen
f
orher.I
t'
sami racl
ethatIdidn'
tbreakdowni n
f
rontofher
.Theyar ehavingachildtogether
.Even
i
fitwasNobuhle'sdoi
ngbutst i
ll
.It
'shischil
d.
Iwat
chFanel
ewalkoutt
hegat
eandgett
oa
wai
ti
ngcarbef
oregoi
ngbacki
nsi
de.
Ineedt
otal
ktosomeonebutIst
opmyself
.How
l
ongwil
lIkeepcr
yingt
oPhil
iaboutt
heset
hings.
"[Link]'
t
belongtoyou"Ikeept el
li
ngmyselfthatandwi
pe
thetearsbeforetheyfal
l.
"Therear esomanypeopl [Link] l
lmeet
someoneel se"Irepeatt hi
sli
net hreetimesbef or
e
reali
zingit'
sjustnothappeni ngf [Link] s
havingachi ldsomeoneel [Link] cturet hem
[Link] thasmi li
ngbecauseNqubeko
nowagr eet obeaf atherandlovet [Link] l
l
behappyandhewi [Link] eeoft hem asa
[Link] llshavehisbear d,uset hat
after
shaveandsmel ll
ikesomethingcool .Hewi l
l
holdtheumbr el
laforherandnotevenf l
inchi fhe
getswet .Hewi l
llookatherandnodwi ththatsmile
playsonhi sli
pswheneverhewant stoassureyou
thatit'
[Link]
chforherar ound
ther oom iftheyar ei
nsomef ancypartyandshe
won' [Link]
lmakef ri
endswi t
hr i
ch
womenandor ganizechar
it
iesifshedoesn'twantto
wor k.
Thenme.
Thephonemakesmej ump.I
t'
sPr
ett
[Link]
akeadeep
breat
hbef
oreanswer
ing.
"
Heygi
rl
.Ar
eyouhome?
"Shesoundscheer
ful
.
"
Wher
eelsewouldIbe?"Isoundhor
ri
blecompar
ed
t
oher
.Evenfaki
ngalaughmakesmef eelwor
se.
"[Link]
eyouokay?Yousoundl
ikeyouar
e
cryi
ng"
"
It
'snot
hinggi
rl
.Ij
ustmi
sshome"Il
ie.
"Haveyoucalled?Somet i
mesheari
ngt hei
rvoi
ces
helps"atl
eastshedoesn'tl
aughbecausethat
wouldmakemef eelevenworse.
"
I'
llcal
[Link]
eyouokay?
"Ineedt
ochanget
het
opi
c.
"
I'
mfi
nej
ustt
houghtIshoul
dcheckonyou"
"
Thanksgi
rl
.I'
l
lbef
ine"
"Act
ual
lyIcal
ledtogi
veyout
henumber
"she
hesi
tat
eforabit.
"
Whatnumber
?"
"[Link]
[Link]'
tmeantobepushy
butIj
ustthoughtyoucancal lsi
nceyouar
est
il
lat
[Link]'toff
endyou"
"Letmegetapen"Isearchthedrawerandfindthe
penbeforeaskinghert
ocalloutthenumberforme.
Shedoessoandwi shmeluck.I'
m gr
atef
ulandI
decidet
ocallimmediat
elyandmakean
appoint
ment.

*
***
*
***

Nqubeko.
"It
houghtgossi
pingwasforwomen"It
ellMl
uleki
asIdropaniceontheglass.
"Youthoughtwr
[Link]
"hedemandsand
l
[Link]'tdr
iveal
lthewayher
ejustt
o
hearaboutmyhorr
ibl
edat ei
[Link]
ust
wantstoteasemefi
rst.
"
[Link]
ime"Ihandhi
m
adr
inkbef
oresit
ti
ngbackonthechai
r.
"
Youf or
gott
obuyherflower
s"i
t'
snotaquesti
on.
[Link]'
trepl
yandhealmostdoubl
eover
wit
hlaught
er.
"
SheknowsIcanbuyhert
hef
lowershopi
fshe
want
sfl
owers"
"
That'
snotthepoint
.Womenlovet heset
hings
[Link]
owersandchocol
[Link]"
"
SincewhendoyousayDuh?
"
"Yourmessdeservesaspecialtr
eat
.Evenpri
mar
y
schoolki
dsknowt hatyouhavetogivewomen
fl
[Link]'
tmat t
erwhattheydowitht
hem"I
cli
ckmyt ongueandlookoutthewindow.I
t'
sa
beaut
if
uldaybutwi
thFanel
est
il
loutt
her
eIcan'
t
rel
ax.
"
Sowhatdidyouf i
nd"Iwantustogetser
iousnow.
Hi
sfacedoesjustthat
.Gofrom l
aughi
ngtoseri
ous.
"
Fanel
ewi
llkeept
hebabyNqubeko"
"Noti
fIcanhelpi
t"Ihi
ssandhegi
vesmet
he'
shut
upandli
sten'
looksoIobey.
"Bef
oreshebecamef r
iendswi
thNobuhl
eshe
workedi
nasaf ehouse"hepul
lsoutanenvel
ope
andhandsitt
ome.
Iopenitandi
thasphot
[Link]
dphotosofFanele
aroundbabi
[Link]
lbabi
eswrappedi
ndiff
erent
bl
ankets.
"
Whati
sthi
spl
ace?
"
"Saf
ehouse.I
tburneddownacoupl
eofyearsago"
hepull
soutanot
herenvel
opeandhandsi
ttome.
It
'smorephotosofFanelebutshelooksdi
ff
erent
.
Herheadisuncombedandhereyesl ookwil
[Link]
eyesfocusonthewomanappear ingbehi
ndher.
Thephotoisoldbuticantel
l.I
t'
sNobuhle.
"
Ist
hisNobuhl
e"Ineedhi
mtoconf
ir
m.
"[Link]
couldn'
[Link]
edthereandshemet
Nobuhle"
Therei
sacopyofther
ecor
[Link]
ekimusthave
pul
ledsomeser
iousst
ri
ngstogett
hesecopi
es.
"
Wer
etheki
dsi
nsi
dewheni
tbur
neddown?
"
"[Link]
ypul
ledt
hem outbut
almostdiedwhenshewentbackintochecki
fshe
didn'
tleaveanyonebehi
nd.I
nhal
edsomesmoke
andwasconvi ncedshehear
dachil
dcry"
Il
ookatt
herecordsagai
nandcheckt
heamountof
ti
meshespentther
e.
"
Sixmont
hs"
"Checkwhosi
gnedasanextofki
n"hepoi
ntst
he
paper.I
twasNobuhl
e.
"
Nobuhl
e"
"Her
eisaninter
esti
[Link]
ofNobuhl
e'
sphot [Link]
ds
andall
"hegivesmet [Link]'
tfi
gur
e
anyt
hingoutri
[Link]'
tmaket
he
headortai
lofthi
s.
"Youar egett
ingsl
[Link]
thesesoshecansendFanel ebacktothenuthouse
[Link]
Faneleisinsaneandthejudgewasgoingtoherthe
child"
Il
ookatthephot
[Link]
elooksdist
urbed
andNobuhlel
ooksl
ikeawor r
iedfamilymember
nextt
[Link] ol
ikethi
s
wit
houtanyhi
ddenagenda.
"Butwhygoasfarashavi
ngsomeonecarr
ythe
chil
dwhenyoucanjustgetpr
egnant
?"I
tdoesn'
t
makeanysense.
"
Noti
fyoucan'
thaveki
dsatal
l"her
epl
ies.
"
Nobuhl
ewasabar
ren?
"
"Checkt
hesecondcopy.I
t'
saconf
ir
mati
[Link]
hadherwombr [Link]
doorabort
ion"
"
JesusChr
ist
!!
!"
"Don'
tbri
ngGodint
othi
[Link]
onlyGodknowswhatshefedFanel
eallt
histime.
Thismusthavet
akenhersomeseri
ouspatiencet
o
gether
[Link]"
Istareatthephot oofFanel [Link]
l
[Link]' tlooklikesomeonewi th
apr oblem atal
[Link] oshowsherst i
lli
n
aroom wi thtoddlersthi
st i
[Link] obe
tal
kingt oonewhi lehandingat [Link]
eyesl ookattheladylookingtheot [Link]'
s
defini
telyNobuhle.
"[Link]
heper
sonwho
start
edt
hefir
e?"Iask
"
[Link]
eheardwasnever
f
[Link]
nthatf
ir
e"
"IhopeNobuhlei
sinhel
l"Imumbl
ebef
ore
coll
ecti
ngal
lthecopi
esandphot
os.
Chapt
er37
Thembeka.
I'
m standi nginf rontoft hemi rrorandt ryingout
severalout fit
s.I t
'sFr idayandPr ettyisdraggi ngme
tosomepar tybecauseI 'vebeeni nt hehousef or
toolongandi '
m goi nghomet omor rowsoshesays
Ineedt ogooutt oni ghtandgohomet omor row.I
hadver yl i
mi t
edchoi cessoIsai dokayandnowi '
m
dressingupandnotsur ehowt [Link] or
Ngcobo' sr ecept i
onl adysai dhewi l
lhavean
openingonTuesdayaf terIdidn'ttaket heclosest
[Link] ngadeci si
ont oseeat herapist
i
snott hesameassomeonesayi ngokaycome.I
wasn'tr eadysoIpi ckedTuesdayandsett he
[Link]' tseenNqubeko
sincethatf aileddat [Link] wobunchof
rosessayi nghewasapol ogi
singf orforget t
ingt hem
forourdat eandt heot herf orhowsor ryhewas.I
senthim at extsayi ng' Thankyou' anddi dn't
ment i
onFanel [Link]'
snotmypl acet ogeti nvol ved.
MyphoneringsandIassumei tPr
ett
ybuti
t'
s
Nqubeko.I
'
m surpr
isedbecausehehasn'
tcal
ledme
i
ndays.
"
Hel
lo"Ianswerwhi
let
ryi
ngt
ozi
ptheski
rti
'
m
wear
ing.
"
Letmei
npl
ease"Hedoesn'
tevengr
eet
.
"Okay"Iputt
hephonedownandsl
ipt
heveston
beforegoi
ngtothedi
ningr
oom.
Hedoesn'tevenwaitunt i
lthegat
eisful
lyopened
befor
ehedr i
[Link]
nandwaitatthe
[Link] l
soutsomef l
owers
andaboxofchocol [Link] he
househiseyeslookingatmyski r
[Link]
vesti
sthinandIf ol
dmyar mstohidemynipples.
Theskir
tisshortert
hanmynor malski
rt
sbutit'
s
notshocki
nglyshort.
"Ar
eareyounotcol
d?"IguessthatNqubeko
coul
dn'
tstayhi
ddenfort
oolong.
"
No.I
'm get
ti
ngdr
essedtogoout"Itur
nandwal
kin.
Hef
oll
owsandclosethedoorbehi
ndhim.
"Outwher
e?"Hehethr
owsthefl
ower
sont
hecouch
andtheboxlandsont
hef
loor
.
"
Somepar
tywi
thPr
ett
yandsomepeopl
ewewor
k
wit
h"
"
I'
llt
akeyou"hepi
cksupthechocol
atesandt
hrow
t
hem onthecouchtoo.
"I'
l
lrequestar i
de"Igobackt othebedroom tofi
nish
getti
ngdr [Link]'tfol
lowandIpi ckashirt
thatwillmatcht heski
rtandwearabr afi
[Link]
ett
y
saidit'
sar el
axedpar t
ysoIdon' thavet
owear
[Link]
ckflatsandalsandgrabmybag.
Ifi
ndNqubekosit
ti
ngonthecouchwatchi
[Link]
l
ooksupwhenIappearandstandsupslowl
[Link]
seethedi
sappr
ovalonhi
sfacealr
eady.
"
Areyoudone?
"
"
Yes"
Hestaresatmehiseyesgoi
ngupanddown
"
Dressedli
kethat
?"
"Don'
tst
artpl
[Link]
'sgo"Ipi
ckupt
hehouse
keys.
"
Howmanypeopl
ewi
llbet
her
e?"
"
It
'sapar
[Link]
ul"Il
ookawayandr
oll
myeyes.
"
I'
m comi
ngt
oo"hewal
kst
othedoorandopeni
t.I
stopandstareathi
[Link]
hisreal
lynecessar
y?I
don'tevenknowwherehecomesf r
om forhi
mtobe
acti
ngl i
ke.
"
It
'sababyshower
"Il
[Link]
sputmenof
f.
"
Wher
eisyourgi
ft
?Don'
tyouneedgi
ft
sfort
hose"
Ishoul
dhavesai
dbr
idalshower
.
"Ther
ewi
llbenoment
her
[Link]'
t
come"
"Whynot?Youaredressedinsomeski
mpyoutfi
t
andit'
sFri
daynight
.Icomeoryouarenotgoi
ng"
hisvoi
ceisful
lofauthor
it
yandhisf
acesaysheis
notbacki
ngdown.
"Wel
li'
m notgoi
ng"Idon'
tmoveandhesl
amst
he
doorshut
.
"
Nopr
obl
em"hewal
ksbackandsi
tdownagai
n.
Myphonevi br
atesandit'
sPrett
yaskingi
fIneeda
[Link]'tt
extherbackbecauseNqubekoi
s
actingli
keamanr i
ghtnow.
"
Feelf
reet
oletherknowyouar
enotcomi
ng"
"[Link]'
tneedpermissi
on.
Yourper
mi ssion"Ir
emindhimtheobvious.
"
Isti
lll
[Link]
f
orbi
dt hi
s"hepoi
ntst
heski
rt
.
"
Youcan'
tfor
bidmeanyt hi
ng.I
'
m goi
ng"Iputon
myst
ubbornpersonal
it
y.
"Wearebot
hgoi
ngt
[Link]"hepoi
ntst
he
door
.
"
Wit
houtyou"Iaddandheadt
othedoor
.
Iexpecthi
mtotryandbl
ockmebuthedoesn'
t
i
nsteadhefol
lowsandwebothwal
kout.
Iturnar
oundandl ockthedoorwhil
[Link]
i
[Link]'t
request
edtheri
deyetsoIst artt
ypi
ngonmyphone
andNqubekograbsi t
.
"
Geti
nthecar
.I'
m dr
ivi
ng"
"
Givememyphoneback"Iyel
l.
"Il
ikei
twhenyouar
efei
[Link]
t
tur
nsmeon"hewhisper
st hel
astpar
twithasmil
e
onhisface.
"
[Link]"Idemandnot
want
ingt
oreactonhi
m bei
ngtur
nedon.
"
Justgeti
nthecari'
l
ltakeyouandcomef et
chyou
whenyouaredone"t
hat'saquickchangeofheart
f
rom someonewhowant edtocomet othepart
y
wit
hme.
"
Youwon'
tst
ay?
"Iaskj
ustsoIhear
dhi
m cor
rect
ly.
"
Itwi
l
[Link]
ndment her
ei'
m st
ayi
ng.I
fnot
t
heni'
l
lleave.I
sthatfai
r?"
"
Weshoul
dn'
tbenegot
iat
ingt
hisNqubeko"
"Thosear [Link]
orwegobacki nside"hestepscl
oserandlowershis
headt omyear" Wecanor derinandwatchTV
beforewef i
nishthedaywi thsomethi
nghot"his
handt ouchmyass.
"Soyoudisappearf
ordaysandcomebackwhen
[Link]'
ttouchme"Isl
aphi
shandaway.
"Soyoumissedme?Whydi
dn'
tyoucal
l?Iwoul
d
havecamerunni
ng"
"
Iwasn'
[Link]
ustwantt
ogot
her
eandgetdr
unk,
l
aughandcomehomet
osl
eepanddr
ivehome
t
omorrow"
"Youaregoi
nghomet
omor
row?
"Hesounds
shocked.
"
[Link]
sst
hem"
"
I'
m sur
etheymi
ssyout
[Link]
oo?
"
Whogoeshomewi thanexhusband?Pl
uswedon'
t
evenhaveenoughspaceforushowmuchmor
e
[Link]
getit
.
"
[Link]
othepar
ty"Ihol
doutmyhandf
or
myphone.
"
Don'
tyouwantt
owearsomet
hingwar
mer
?"
Igivehim adon'
tyoudarelookbef
orewal
kingt
o
[Link]
low.

*
***
*
***
Prettytexttheaddr essandNqubekosaysheknows
[Link]' taskf ormanydet ai
lsbecausehei s
notbeinggener ouswi ththem.I t
'sapar t
yandIwas
i
nvitedt hat'
sallthatmat [Link] ettyi
f
therewi l
lbement her eshesaidnoi twasj ustus,
Nqubekonoddedandcont i
nuedt okeepgl ancingon
myt [Link] i
vef oroverf i
vemi nutesofsil
ence
beforehest opst hecaront hesideoft [Link]
othercar sandheart hemusi cbutIt hi
nkhepar ked
toofar.I'l
lwalk,ItellmyselfasIopent hedoor.
"
Wai
t"hespeaks.
Ist
opandl
ookathi
m.
"Becaref
[Link] i
nklikeit
'syourl astdri
nk.
Don'tl
[Link] o
usethetoi
letf
ini
sht hedri
nkandgoorl eaveitand
pouranewdr i
[Link] ustno
[Link]'
smost lywomenbutst i
llbecar ef
ul"
I
'
[Link]
ncer
eri
ghtnow.
"
Iwi
ll
.Thankyou"
"
[Link]'tst
ayi
fyouare
f
eel
inguncomf
ort
abl
[Link]'tl
etanyoner
uinyour
f
un"headdbefor
ehestart
sthecar
.Iguesshe
want
stodropmecloser
.Thecarst
opswhenwe
r
eachthegat
eandIopenthedoor.
"
Thanks"Igetout
.
"
Havef
un"
Ismi
leandwalkt
othegat
[Link]
esand
oneoft
hem comestot
hegateandopenforme.
"
I'
m gl
adyoucame"[Link]
f
aceatworkbutIdon'
tknowhername.
"
Sor
ryI'
mlate"Nqubekodr
ivesof
fandwewal
kto
t
hehouse.
"I
t'
sfi
ne"shepushesthedooropenandwewal kin.
It
'st
hekit
chenandIseePr ett
ywear i
nganapron
whil
ebusymixingsomegr [Link]
stand
[Link]
'sabraai
.Just
havemeatandgot othegym nextday.
"Youcame"shei
sver
[Link]
ellshehada
dri
nkbefor
e.
"[Link]?
"Idon'
twanttobutit
's
standar
dpr ocedur
[Link]
waysofferandhopethey
sayno.
"
[Link]
othebackgi
rl
.I'
l
lbet
her
ejustnow"
Thegir
lIwalkedi
nwithwalksbackwi t
hgl asses
andoffersmeoneandtakemybagt ot hebedr oom.
IpourthewinePr
ett
yjustpour
edbef or
ef oll
owi ng
heroutleavi
ngPr
ett
ywithhergreens.
Ther
ei smusi
candl
adi
esar
esi
tt
ingi
nchai
rssome
smoking.
"I
t'
sThembekal [Link]
lintheoff
ice"
saysthegir
landiwi shIknowhernameatl east
.
Thereissomescr eamingandcheeri
[Link]
drunkalr
eadybutnoonemakesanyawkwar d
sceneandIfindanempt ycampchairandsit
.
"Whenareyoucomingback?
"Askanothergi
rl
bef
oreshetakest
hecigar
ett
efr
om another
.
"Monday"Ir
epl
yandt
ryt
osoundl
ikei
'
m notf
eel
ing
ner
vous.
"That
'
[Link]
ryaboutt
heacci
dent
"shest
ands
uptosmokeawayfrom me.
Isi
pthewi
neandl
ookar
oundabi
tbef
oremyeyes
l
andonNombuso.I'm notdr
eaming.I
t'
sherand
shei
slooki
ngatmet [Link]
ookawayfirst
.It
hought
i
twasouroffi
cepeoplewhyisshehere.
Someonet
akestheunoccupi
edseatnextt
omeand
It
urnmyatt
enti
ontothem.
"
Hey.I
'
m Vuyo"shei
ntr
oduceher
sel
f.
"
I'
m Thembeka"Ismi
leather
.
"
Ili
keyourski
rt
"
Iuset hisopportuni
tyt ost artaconversati
onand
tel
lherwher eIgotitandbef orelongwear et
alki
ng
aboutf [Link]
tyf inall
yar r
iveswithalar
ge
bowlofsal adandor der severyonetothetabl
e.
Someonecomeswi thmeatandt akeaways.I
t'
s
everyonef orthemsel ves.
"Comebefor ei
tget
scol
d"saysVuyobefor
eshe
[Link] kt
othet
[Link]'
t
botherwit
hsaladandVuyoalsodoest
hesame.
"
Hi"saysNombusonextt
ome.
"
Hi"Ir
epl
yandwal
kbackt
omyseat
.
Vuyocomesbackandsi
tnextt
omebutsomeone
el
set
akesherat
tent
ionwhi
chopensachancef
or
Nombusot
ositnearme.
"Howareyou?
"SheasksandIignor
eher
.Whycan'
t
sheactl
ikewedon'
tknoweachother
.
"
Aref
il
l?
"asksPr
ett
yhol
dingabot
tl
eofwi
ne.
"Pl
ease"Ihol
[Link]
il
lsandIbl
ock
outNombusounti
lVuyoi sbackandwear e
chatt
ingl
ikeol
dfr
iends.

*
***
*
***

Thepar t
ycont i
nuest orockunti
lsomeoneyel l
sthat
thereisanothersurpri
secomi [Link]
eatthe
doorwai t
ingforthi
ssur pri
sebecausesomeonedi d
confir
mt hattheyarri
[Link] oseewhoar e
thesepeopleasever yoneseemsr eall
yexcit
ed.
Thesoundchangesint
oadiff
erentsongandabout
sevenmenwalkoutofthehousedressedi
n
dif
fer
entuni
for
msf r
om fi
ref
ighter
stopoli
cemen.
Thel
adi
esgowi
ldsomet
aki
ngphot
os.
Themani mmediat
elyst
artdanci
ngwhi
let
aki
ng
thei
rcl
othesof
f.
"Theyar
est
ri
ppi
ng"It
ellVuyonotbel
ievi
ngmy
eyes.
"Theyar
ef i
ne"shebi
tesherli
psandwhi
stl
[Link]'
t
[Link].
"
Havef
unl
adi
es"yel
lsPr
ett
yovert
hemusi
c.
Thebr avegi r
lsj
umpatt hechanceoft ouchingt he
menandIr emai nsitti
ngj ustl
aughingatever ything.
Ihopenoonecal lsthepol i
ceandr uint heparty.
Somet hinglandsonmyl apandIj umpbef or
et hey
l
[Link] ustpassedhi sshi rttomeandhe
i
ssmi l
inginadar [Link] llforhimt opick
someoneel [Link] rti
sshor tandi 'm noteven
drunkenought oletloosebuthedoesn' tgoaway.
Hest epsevencl oseranddancei nf [Link] s
beltfol
lowandhepl acesi [Link] sabout
totakeof fhispantsandbecausei '
m si tt
ingdown
hisdickwi l
lbeonmyf ace.
Someonest
art
stoscr
eam butst
opsabr
upt
lyand
themusi
calsodi
[Link]
noti
cet
hatpeopl
ear
elooki
ngatsomeoneel
se.
"
Ladi
esandgent
s"saysNqubeko'
svoi
ce.
Themani nf r
ontofmet [Link]
metooandwal [Link] deand
Nqubekooffersahandt [Link]'thesitat
e
i
ntakinghishandashepul l
[Link] rtfall
s
andVuyopi [Link]
tf r
om
myneckandhandsi ttothemanbef orehetakes
myhandandl eadmebackt othehouse.
Themusi
cst
art
sandt
hel
adi
esgobackt
ocheer
ing.
"Getyoubag"hespeaksaswereachthepassage.I
nodandtrythefi
rstdoor
.It
'sar
ightr
oom andItake
mybag.
"
Youar
eleavi
ng"saysPr
ett
ywal
kingi
naswel
l.
"Yes.I
twasgreat
.I'
l
lcal
lyoutomorr
ow"Ihugher
andshekissesmecheekbeforeweleave.
Someonefol
lowsusandclosethegat
ebefore
goi
ngbackinsi
[Link]
dsthedooropen
andIgeti
[Link]'
timmediatel
ycl
osethedoor
i
nsteadheleansoverandki ssmyl i
[Link]
softandhetastesli
[Link]
sshim backfora
momentbef or
epul l
[Link]'tsay
anythi
ngashecl osesthedoorandwal ktohisside.
"
Didyouhavef
un?
"heaskwhenhedr
ivesof
f.
"
Yes.I
twasnice"Idon'
taddthatIwasaboutt
o
r
ecei
veadancewhenhewal kedin.
"
I'
m gl
ad"
"Di
dyouleave?"Iaskbecausehej
ustar
ri
vedl
ikehe
sawthestr
ippers.
"Yesbuti
'
m gladIcamebackjustintime"helooks
[Link] If eel
ingsoguilt
y?
Wear edi
vor
cedandIam verymuchsi ngle.
Idon'
trepl
yandthesi
lencelast
sunt
ilwer
eachmy
houseandheopensthegate.
Igetoutandsearcht [Link] akes
them andunlockthedoor.I'
m drunkbutnot
hing
hecti
[Link] topeebefor
egoing
[Link] ksfr
om thekit
chen
withaglassofwat er
.
"
Dri
nk"
"
I'
m notdr
unk"Ipr
otest
.
"
Justdr
ink"
Il
ookathim andtaket
hegl assbef
oredri
nki
ngand
[Link]
chen
andItaket
hechocolates.I
'
llhavet
hem tomorr
ow.
Hewal ksbackandt akest hechocol atef rom my
handsbef oreputt
ingt hem ont hecof feet abl
[Link]
doesn'tspeakbuthepausesbef oreheki ssmyl ips
agai
[Link] sshi
m back.I '
m hor nytoosowhyactl ike
sexwon' tbegoodr i
[Link] ssl ast sfora
whil
ebef orehetakesmyhandandwewal kt
ot he
[Link] rytot akemyshi r
tof fhest ops
meanddoesi thimsel [Link] ripsmesl owl ytaking
eachitem offmeasi fhewant smet obesur et hatI
wanttogoal [Link] '
mf inall
ynakedhe
l
aysmedownandpul lmyl egsapar tbef or eheki ss
myf eetandwor kshi swaydownt omyt highs.I
cl
osemyeyeswai tf ort hefi
rsttouch.I tdoesn' t
comef astenoughbutwheni tdoesIf eelhi swai ton
meandhi sli
psonmyl [Link]' tcomei nhei s
j
ustpausi
ngther
ebutthel
ightbr
ushi
sdr
ivi
ngme
i
[Link]
minsi
deme.
"
Nqubeko"
"Shhh"hewhi
sper
sandpr
essonmyent
rance"
You
hadagoodtime?"
"
Yes"Iwhi
sperback.
"
That'
swhatyouwant?Tohavef unandgetdr
unk?"
Hepusheshi
slegsf
urtherapar
tandthatst
ret
ches
mineevenwi
der.
"
Yes"
Hepushesi
nsi
demeandIhol
dmybr
eat
hforabi
t.
"Havest
ripper
s?"HeasksandIdon'
trepl
[Link]
holdsst
il
l.
"
Havest
ri
pper
s?"
heasksagai
n.
"
Idi
dn'
t.
..
.Ha"hepushesi
nmaki
ngmest
opt
alki
ng.
"
Tal
[Link]
thst
ri
pper
s"
"Yes"Imovemyhipsdesper
atef
orhi
mtodot
he
samebuthedoesn't
.
"
Becauseyouar
ewi
ld?
"
"Yes"It
ryt
opullhi
mintomehopi
nghewi
lldowhat
Ineedbuthedoesn'
t.
"
Ther
eisawi
ldbadgi
rli
nsi
deyou?
"
"Yes"hecoul
dcal
lmeal
ionr
ightnowandi
'
llsay
yes.
"Whatdoyouwantmet
odot
othi
swi
ldgi
rlr
ight
now?"
"Sheneedsagoodf uck"Ican'tbel
ieveIjustsay
thatandIcant el
lthatNqubekoi salsosur prised
buthedoesj [Link] hr
usti
shar dandhas
mesayi ngyesunt i
lmynai lsaresi
nkingi ntohi s
skinandmykneesar eoneeachsideoft hi [Link]
keepsgoi ngunt i
lIdon'tthinkit
spossiblef orhimt o
stopbutIdon' twanthi mt [Link] '
mt hishigh
andt [Link] i
nall
yl et'sgo
hedoesn' tstopuntilhisownbodyt ensesupand
grabsmyt highsohar dmybodyt r
embl [Link] h
fallbackintoourownbodi esandremai nl ockedi n
eachot her'
sar ms.
"
Itt
hist
heki
ndf
orf
uckThembekaneedswhen
dr
unk?
"Hewhi
sper
s.
"
Yes"Iwhi
sperback.
Chapt
er38

Thembeka

Whendr unksomethingsseem likeagreatideabut

whensobertheyarediff
[Link] '
smeri
ghtnow.
I'
m awakebutI'
m sti
llpr
etendingt obeasl
eep
becausei'
m ali
tt
leshyaboutf acingNqubekonow.
"Morni
ng"hespeaksandIj
umpbecausei
'
m not
expect
inghi
mt obeawake.
"Morni
ng"Ihol
dthebl
ankett
[Link]
knowsmynakedbodybutsti
llIhideit
.
"
It
'saf
[Link]"headdsbef
ore
r
eachi
ngforthephoneandshowmet heti
me.
"GoshI'
ml at
e"Isi
tupandspotmycl othesonthe
chair
.Ihavetowalkt
herenakedwhi l
eNqubeko
star
[Link] dhepickthem up?Icheckfor
anyt
hingIcansl
iponbutt
herei
snothi
[Link]
madesurethatt
herei
snothi
ngcl
oseby.
"Wi
ldgir
lgonealready?"HeaskswhenIkeep
shi
fti
ngandtryi
ngt oseeifIcanwal
koverther
e
wit
htheblanketaroundme.
"
Iwasdr
unk"Ishootback.
"I
'veseenyounakedsomanyt i
mesMaKhumal o.
[Link]"t her
eisasmi l
eonhis
[Link]
swhatIgetforhavingsexwithhi
m.I
shouldhaveki
ckedhim outlastni
[Link]
nghorny
doesn'tki
ll
.
"
Whyar
eyoust
il
lher
eanyway?
"
"I
'
mt [Link]
oreyoupr
otest
,I'
m al
so
goinghomeandIthoughtweshoul
dshareadrive.
Youwilldropmeoffi
nPlaza"
Dri
vingal
oneisnotni
ceandwit
hhi
minthecarhe
candothedri
vinghi
msel
f.I
t'
sagoodi
dea.
"
Okay"
"Real
ly?It
hinkIneedthati
nwr i
ti
ng"hel
aughsand
[Link] ashewalksacrosst
hebedr
oom
andt
hrowt
heshi
rtt
owar
dsme.
"
Thanks"
"Idon'
tgetwhyyouhavetobeal
[Link]
nightyouwereonfi
re"hewi
nksandIl
ookaway
feel
ingmycheeksburn.
"
Canwenott
alkabouti
t?"
"Whynot
?"Hepi
cksuphi
sownpant
sandpul
lthem
on.
"
BecauseIdon'tfeel
comfort
abl
etal
kingabouti
t.I
t
wasjustsexbetweentwoex'
s"
Hedoesn'
trepl
yandIstandupall
owi
ngtheshi
rtt
o
covermynakednessl
eavi
ngjustt
het
highs.
"
Wellt
omei twasmorethansexwit
hmyex"he
r
epl
iesaf
terheisdoneput
ti
nghisveston.
It
'smyturntoremai
nqui
etsoIgr
abat
oweland
headt
ot heshower.

*
***
**
*
***
**
Ifi
ndhim makingthebedwhenIf inishbathing.I
pi
ckanout f
itandpullmybagbef oreselect
ingf ew
outf
it
si'
m goinghomewi [Link]
cl
othesther
esoIwon' thavetopackal lt
hetime
whenIgohome.
"
It
'scol
dout
[Link]
easewearsomet
hingwar
mer
"
Il
ookoutthewi
ndowandIcanseethesunalr
ight.
Heisbei
nghimsel
fsoIi
gnor
ehim andpickadress.
"
Ajacketwi
lldo"headdswhenIdon'
trepl
y.
"
It
'snotcol
d"
"
Itwil
lbewhenwegett
oMel
mot
[Link]
easej
ust
l
ist
entome"
Irol
lmyeyesandpickaj
acket
.Hi
seyesar
eonmy
chestwhenIzi
pitup.
"Idon'
tgetwhyyouaresoobsessedaboutwhatI
[Link]?"Ist
areathi
m witht
hejacket
zippedal
lthewaythetop.
"[Link]
naboutthesi
zeofthisdress
aswell.I
t'
sshortbutI
'
llst
ickt
othej
acketfornow"
"Mustyoualwayscont
roleveryt
hingNqubeko?I
canwalkaroundnakedifIwantto"i'
m getti
ng
annoyedbythisneedt
oal wayscontrolt
hings.
"
Noti
fIcanhel
pit
"
"
Youar
enotmyboss!
!"
"
IknowbutasamanIcan'
thel
pit
.I'
mjeal
ous"
"Maybeyoushoul
dn'tbejeal
[Link]
earethi
ngs
youcan'
tcont
rol
.LikewhatIwearordo"Ishove
someunderweari
nt hebag.
"
ButIcant
ry"
"
Thenenjoydi
sappoi
ntment
"Izi
pthebagandgr
ab
myphone.
Hefol
lowsmet [Link]
sand
t
hechocolat
esarestil
lthere.I'
l
lhavet
hem athome
wit
hmyf amil
ybuttheflower sneedavasesoItake
t
hem t
ot heki
tchen.
"
I'
m sor
ry"hespeaksbehi
ndme.
It
urnandf
acehi
m.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
orever
ythi
ngt
hatwentwr
ongbet
ween
us"
Inodandl [Link]
ngIwanttodoist
o
startcr
ying.I'
m goi
nghomet odayandonceIst
art
cryngIwon' tst
op.
"
Iloveyou"
"
Thanks"Ir
epl
yaf
terami
nut
eandcont
inueput
ti
ng
t
hefl
owersaway.
"
CanImakeussomecof
fee?
"Heof
fer
s.
"
I'
llhavet
eanotcof
fee"
"Doyoumi ndi
fwedri
vepastmypl
acesoIcanpi
ck
upfewthings?
"Iwantt
osayyesbutIsayno
i
nstead.
"
Alsocheckifyoudi
dn'
tunpl
ugt
hef
ri
dgeby
mist
[Link]
dthat
"
Hel aughsandcont
inuewit
[Link]
ngathim
ashedoest hi
smyheadgoesbackt oourmarried
l
[Link]'theli
kethi
sthosedays?Whydidwe
havet ogetdi
vor
cedfir
stbef
orehedecidedhe
want stobeahusband.
"
Whendi
dyoust
artl
ovi
ngme?
"
Hest
opspour
ingt
hemi
lkandl
ookatme.
"WhenNobuhl ewassti
llal
iveyouweren'tthisman.
Youact edli
keIdidn'
[Link] esand
suddenlyyoucl ai
[Link]' tevenl eave
meal onelongenoughtohangoutwi t
[Link]
wantt ocontr
olmyclothes,youcomet omyhouse
uninvi
tedandyout el
lmeyoul oveme.I '
m
supposedt oloveyoubacknowbecauseshei s
dead...
..
"
"
That
'
snott
rue"
"I
tistr
[Link] ybecamet hismanaf tershewas
[Link] f
eandyou
hardl
ytol
dmeyoul [Link] sIwasf orced
tonavi
gatethroughmar r
iagealonebecauseyou
werebusywi t
hher .Doyouknowhowi t
'sliketol i
ve
withapersonyouf earoffendingbecauseyoudon' t
evenknowwhatwi lloff
[Link]
i
deahowhar di twasf orme? "Thetear
sst artfall
ing
butIdon'
tcarer i
ghtnow.
"Iadmi
tIhandl
edi
[Link]
d
havebeenagoodhusbandt
[Link]
ed
butI
'dl
ikeustot
[Link]
bet
tert
histi
[Link]
ease"
"
Whati
fIdon'
twantt
o?"
"I
sitbecauseyoudon'tl
ovemeanymor
eor
becauseyouareangry?"
Ist
artt
owal
kawaybuthegr
absmyar
m.
"
Letgoofme"
"
Why?Iaskedyouaquest
ion"
"
BecauseIdon'
[Link]'
tknow!
!"
Hedoesn'
tletgoi
nst
eadhecomet
ost
andi
nfr
ont
ofme.
"Whati
sitt
hatyoudon'
tknow.I
'
m her
eandIwant
ustofi
xthi
s"hedemands.
"Letgoofme"It
ryt
ofr
eemyar
m buthedoesn'
tlet
go.
"
Tal
[Link]
sitt
hatyoudon'
tknow?
"
"
Idon'
tknowhowIf eel
[Link]
imesif
eel
l
ikeil
oveyoubutt
henir ememberhowyoutr
eat
ed
me"
Helet
sgobutdoesn'
[Link]
her
wit
hmecryi
ngandhimlookingl
ikehewantstoj
oin
i
ntoo.
"
WhatcanIdot
omakei
tbet
ter
?"
"
Idon'
tthi
nkyoucan"
"Theremustbesomet hingIcandot omakei tbet
ter
.
Iloveyouandiadmi tmymi stakesMashobane.I'
m
will
ingtodoanythingtomakei tbet
[Link]
better
.Please"hebegsbeforehewr apshisarms
[Link] yevenharderandhol dontohim.
Sever
almi
nut
espassbef
oreIpul
lawayf
rom hi
m
andwipet
het
ear
sinmyeyes.
"
Doyoust
il
lwantt
het
ea?
"
"Notanymore.I'
l
lhavesomef r
uit
"It
hinkhedoesn'
t
wantthecoffeeanymorebecauseput
severythi
ng
backandpusht heket
tl
[Link] r
uit
sand
l
eavethekit
chen.

*
***
**
*
***
**
Nqubekot akeslessthan15mi nutestopack.I
remindhimt oensur ethateveryt
hingisunplugged
besidethef r
[Link] echeck
beforewel [Link] ebothcomi ngback
tomorrowbutt hisisDurbanandal otcanhappen
ti
llt
hen.
"
Don'
tyouwantt
odr
iveatl
easthal
fway?
"
"
Nope"Iopent
hepassengerdoorandgeti
n.
"
Okayf
ine"heget
sinandst
artt
hecar
.
I
t'
smycarsoIcan'
tputmyf
eetupandsi
tback.I
fit
washi
sIwoul
d.
"
Canwet
urnt
hemusi
con?
"Heasks.
"
Nopr
obl
em"
ThesoundofKennyGandPeaboBr ysonfil
lsthe
[Link]
.It
'sourwedding
[Link]
m butsti
llt
helyr
icsstayed
i
[Link] di
tthefir
stt
imehe
playedthesong.
"
Icant
urni
tof
fifi
tmakesyouuncomf
ort
abl
e"he
of
fer
s
"
Noi
t'
sfi
[Link]
iket
hesong"
"Wecanst
artagai
[Link]
hingseven
bet
ter
"hei
sstarti
ngagai
n.
"
That
'
snott
hepoi
nt"
"
Thenwhatisthepoi
nt?"Maybet r
avel
ingwithhi
m
i
[Link]'
twanttotalkaboutthi
sthe
whol
etri
pbecauseIdon'twanttogethomei nabad
mood.
"Thepointi
sIwi l
lneverknowifyoulovemef orreal
oryoujustdon'[Link]
hingyou
doNqubekoi '
llal
wayswonderi fi
t'
sbecauseyou
wanttooryouj [Link]' t
evenknowi fyoulovemeornot .Yousayyoudobut
Iwil
[Link]'tpossi
blyknow"
Hegoesqui
etandIl
ookout
sidet
hewi
ndow.
"
Butyoudol
oveme?
"
Idon'
trepl
yandthesongcomest
[Link]
MrazMakei tmi
necomesonandIst
artsi
nging
al
[Link]
her
adi
oandIthi
nkhe
want
stotur
nitoffbuthet
urnsinevenl
ouderand
dr
umshisfi
ngersonthewheel.
Iconti
nuesingi
ngwhilehestar
tsdanci
ngmoving
hisshoulder
[Link]
bothlaugh.
"Ididn'tknowyoul
ist
ent
othi
skindofmusic"I
didn'tevenknowhecoul
ddancetosuchsong.
"Idon'
[Link]
hroughyourplayl
istoneni
ghtand
copiedthemusictomymusi cplayer"
"
Why?
"
"Ij
ustwant
edtoseewhatyoul
[Link]
askedbutl
ikemanyt
hings,
Idi
ditwr ong"heshr
ugs.
"
It'
sfi
[Link]'
thaveanyspeci
fi
csongt
hatil
ike.I
l
ist
entogoodmusi c"
"
Andmovi
es?Iknowyoudon'
tli
kebl
ood"
"
Ilover
[Link]
chact
ion
f
il
ms"
"Weshoul
dhaveamovi
eni
ght
"hesuggest
sandI
nod.
"
DidKwanel
eevercont
actyouagai
n?"
Hear
ingsomeonement i
onsKwanele'snamemake
mefeelst
[Link]
oveand
sawthehappil
yeveraf
[Link]
yiwasbeingstupi
d.
"
No"
"I
'
m glad"il
ookathi
m andhesmi
les"Don'
tlookat
mel i
kethat
.Iwon'
tli
e.I
'
m gl
adheisoutofthe
pict
ure"
"
Youar
econt
rol
li
ng"
"
I'
m notcontrol
li
[Link]
[Link]
d
worr
yingitendtowanttofixt
hingsmyway"he
makesitsoundlikei
t'
sagoodt hing.
"
Ithi
nkyouconfusecari
ngwithcontr
[Link]
wanttocont
rolwhatiwearNqubeko"
"
Soyoudon'
tcat
chacol
d"
"
Yeahr
ight
"Ir
ollmyeyesandl
ookaway.
"Forr
eal.I'
vedonesomanyt hingsjustt
oensure
yoursafetyandalsomakesur eyouwereokay.I
guessmyf aul
twasleavi
ngyououtofi t
.Ishoul
d
haveincludedyou"heisstar
ti
ngt ogobackinto
t
hatdar
kpl
aceandIhat
eit
.
"Canwenott
alkaboutwhatwentwr
ong?Wecan
singal
ongt
[Link]
ngbutt
his"
Henodsandconnectt
hephone.
Wesingalongtosever
[Link] deos
unt
ili
t'
sbori
ngandwest opforarefi
llinMelmoth.I
gotothet
oiletwhi
lehebuyssomedr inks.
Theweatheri
snol ongerwarm andIcantelli
t'
s
goi
[Link] f
eeand
openshi
sbagbef orepull
ingoutatr
acksuit
.
"
[Link]
m.I
t'
spr
obabl
ycol
d
i
nULundi"
Inodandtaket
hepant
sbef
oreput
ti
ngt
hem under
thedr
ess.
"I
'
m wait
ingf
orIt
oldyouso"Isaywhenhedoesn'
t
sayi
t.
"YouknowI'
m sayi
ngi
tont
hei
nsi
de"webot
hlaugh
andgetint
hecar.
"
Howcomeyouhavemysi
ze?
"
"Iboughtt
hem f
[Link]
twasonsal
[Link]
sand
herssoIboughtthem andworemi
ne"
"
[Link]
ewar
m"i
'
m notl
[Link]
e
r
eal
lywarm.
"
[Link]'
twantyoucat
chi
ngacol
d"

*
***
**
*
***
**
Whenwegett oPlazaNqubekoof f
erstohelpme
pickupthingsformyf [Link] [Link]
ake
threeandheaddsanot her3sayi nghewi l
lpay.I
don'tpr
[Link] woheat er
s,warm sleepwear
fortheki
dsandt hengr oceri
[Link]
Ilethi
m dojustthat.
"
SoIhavetotakeataxiher
[Link]
ewedri
vingback
t
oget
hertomorrow?
"Heasksaswestandnextto
t
hecar.
"
Ithi
nkI'
dlikethat
"Il
ookbehi
ndhim asIspota
f
amili
[Link]
dsmeandi t'
s
r
eall
yhim,Dabula.
"That'
smycousin"Istar
twavi
ngathim hopingt
o
catchhisat
tent
[Link]
stl
esandDabula
fi
nall
[Link] l
esandwalksover.
"[Link]
litol
dmeyouar ecoming"helooksexci
ted
unti
lhiseyesfal
[Link]
seri
ousnessbeforeof
fer
ingahandt ohim.
"
Khumal
o"saysNqubekoshaki
nghi
shand.
"
Mbonambi
"repl
iesDabul
a.
"Areyougoinghome?I '
m dr
ivi
nghomenowbef or
e
i
tr ai
ns"Il
ookatthegreyi
[Link]
aincoul
d
startanyminut
efrom now.
"Wearegoingtoo.I
'mjustwai
ti
ngforFanel
e"he
l
ooksbehindhim [Link]
e
butofcauseitcan'
tbethesameFanele.
"
Ther
eshei
s"
Il
ookatNqubekoandhel
ooksatme.I
t'
st hesame
Fanel
[Link]
ooandstopswal
king.
"Fanel
e"Isayi
toutl
oudandl
ookatherandher
pregnantst
omach.
"
Youknowher
?Shei
sUncl
eMcebo'
sdaught
er.
ThankstoKhumbulekhayaforr
euniti
ngherwi
tht
he
famil
y"saysDabul
asoundingallcheerf
ul.
"
Wear erel
atedt
oher?"Iaskmyvoicesoundi
ngl
ike
ashoutandsever
alpeoplel
ookatus.
"[Link]
y"repl
iesDabul
alooki
ngatme
andt henatNqubekowhol ooksl
ikehewant
stoki
ll
heront hespot
.
Chapt
er39
Thembeka.

"Am Imi
ssi
ngsomet
hing?
"AsksDabul
alooki
ngat
usonebyone.
"
Shei
scar
ryi
nghi
sbaby"Ipoi
ntatNqubeko.
"Oh"t
hat'
sallhesaysbef
orehelooksatFanel
ewho
alsol
ooksli
keshewantstodisappear
.
"Canwego?
"AsksNqubekoopeni
ngt
hepassenger
sidef
orme.
"
Ithi
nki
'
m dr
ivi
ngnow"Ir
emi
ndhi
m.
"
No.I
'
m dr
ivi
ng.I
'
llmakeapl
anwhenIgett
her
e"hi
s
tonesaysi
t'
snotupfordi
scussi
[Link]
Igeti
nandDabulaopenedthebackdoorforFanel
e
befor
ehegetsi
nhimself.
"
Sodidyouguysdri
vesaf
e?"AsksDabul
aas
Nqubekost
art
sthecar
.
"I
twasalri
[Link]
ull
yitdoesn'
tst
artr
aini
ng
soon"Ir
eply.
"Luckil
ytheyextendedthepat
[Link]
neighbourboughtacarandhewant edacl
earpat
h
forhiscar"saysDabula.
"
That
'sbet
ter
.Wecan'
tescapet
hemudt
hough"I
r
epl
y.
"
Ihopeevenifi
trai
nsbutnothi
nghect
[Link]
ocal
t
eam haveasoccertour
namentandwecan'tpl
ay
wel
linthemud"conti
nuesDabula.
"
Youpl
aysoccer
?"AsksNqubeko
"Ihel
pwiththecoachi
ng.I
thel
pstheboysst
ay
busy"saysDabulasoundi
ngli
keaproudpar
ent
.
Theyconti
nuetalki
ngaboutsoccerandIcheckmy
[Link]
almessagesfrom Pr
ett
yaski
ng
i
fi'
m [Link]
det
ocal
lherbackbef
oreshecal
ls
t
hepolice.
"
Thembeka"sheanswer
s
"[Link]
ryIdi
dn'
tseeyourmessagesandmi
ssed
call
s"
"
Areyouokay?
"Shesoundsl
ikeshei
sst
il
lpar
tyi
ng.
"
I'
mfi
ne.I
'
m headi
nghome"
"[Link]
.Soyouhavenohang
over?"Someoneisdemandingar
efi
llandIhear
d
bott
les.
"[Link]
dn'thavemuch"Il
ookatNqubekosi
nce
heisthereasonwhyIdidn'
tstayl
ongenought
o
haveanysideeffect
s.
"
Gir
[Link]
dyout
ellNqubekot
ocomegetyou?
"
"NoIdidn'
t"It
'sli
keNqubekocantel
lwearet
alki
ng
abouthim becausehelooksatmeandfr
own.
"
Sohejustar
ri
vedandtookyouaway?Justl
ike
t
hat
?"Shesoundsshocked
"
Howel
sewoul
dheexer
cisecont
roli
fhedoesn'
tdo
t
hat
?"Ir
ollmyeyesandl
ookathi
m.
"
Andyouguysf
ucked?Ri
ght
?"Shel
aughs
"
Howdi
dyouguess?
"
"Iknowthesethi
[Link]
aidt
oo"shewhi
sper
s
andit'
smyt ur
ntolaugh.
"
Tel
lmemor
e"
"Gi
rl
.Let
'sj
ustsaythebr
otherknowshowt
oputi
t
downandspeakFrenchwhil
eatit"
"
HespeaksFr
ench?
"
"[Link]
snotaSout
hAf
ri
canandIam keepi
ng
him"
"
Yougogi r
[Link] heytendtobeveryloyal
.
Unl
ikeSouthAfrican"Icantellt
hatNqubekowants
t
oknowwhatar ewet alki
ngabout.
"
Ihopesogir
[Link]'mt
ryi
ngtorel
ivel
astni
ght
.
Haveasaf
etripandtextmewhenyougetther
e"
"
Wil
ldogi
rl
.Enj
oy"Il
aughandhangup.
Theconver
sati
oni
nthecarhasmovedfrom soccer
towhat'
swrongwi
ththear
[Link]
alovesthe
placebuthewishesithadmoretoofferespeci
all
y
theyouthandalsohelpswitht
heteenage
pregnancybecausegirl
saredr
oppingoutofschool.
Idon'tsharemyviewsbecauseIdon'twantFanel
e
togetachancet ospeakaswell
.Sofarsheis
sitt
ingther
equiet
ly.

*
***
**
*
***
**
Wef inall
yar r
iveandFaneleaskst obedr oppedoff
beforewet akeat [Link]
wher eisshegoi ngandIalmostaskhowi t
'shis
businessbutDabul aexplainsthatshedoesn' tst
ay
i
nourhomebutshei [Link]
makesmef eelalotbett
erbecausePhi l
itoldmewe
arenotacl osef amil
[Link]
em notour s.
[Link]
sunti
l
shereachesthegat
ewalksinsi
debeforehedri
ves
off
.
Wecont
inuesi
lent
lyunti
lwereachourhomeand
Cel
iwei
splayi
ngwithfourot
hergir
lsi
ntheyar
d.
"
DoIdr
ivei
n?"AsksNqubeko.
"
It
'smycar
.It
hinkyougetout
"Ir
epl
y.
"
Youcancomei n.I
t'
sokay"saysDabul
aand
Nqubekost
ickshi
stongueoutatmebefor
edri
ving
i
nside.
Wegetoutandl eavehi
mi nthecar
.Obvi
ousl
yhe
can'tcomeinbecausewehavenospaceandhe
can'tgeti
nthekit
chenorevenourbedr
[Link]
uninvit
edguest
sstayout.
"
I'
llbeback"It
ellhi
m bef
orewal
kingt
othehouse.
Phi
lii
sbusycooki
ngandsomet
hingsmel
lsl
ike
home.
"Hell
o"Igr
eetbefor
elooki
nginsi
deherpot
.She
cookeddumplingsandmutton.I
'
m hungr
y,Ir
eal
ize
thatnow.
"[Link]
indDabul
a?"Shegi
vesmea
onehandhugbecausesheisholdi
ngaspoonwi
th
theotherhand.
"
Bumpedt
ohi
minpl
aza"Idon'
taddFanel
[Link]
.
"
Great
,hesavedont
hef
ee"shel
ooksatmeasi
f
shecan'
tbel
ieveI
'
mreal
lyher
e.
"
Igotussomebl
anket
s.I
'
llt
aket
hem t
otheot
her
r
oom"
"
Her
eisthekey"shehandsmethekeyandl
ooksat
t
hecar"
Someonel ef
tinsi
de?
"
"[Link]
hinkheshouldtakethecarandcome
pickmeupt [Link]
her"I
explai
nandshegivesmet he'ther
eismorelook'
butIwalkawaybef or
eshecanaskmor e.
Celi
weandherfr
iendshel
psmecarr
ythebl
anket
s
i
nsideandIgi
vethem somemoneybef
oret
heyrun
offt
obuysomesnacks.
"[Link]"cal
lsoutPhi
li
appear
inginthekit
[Link]
if
tonefi
ngertoNqubeko
andhurrytoher.
"[Link]'tl
ethimleavewithoutof fering
somet hi
ng"shepoint
sthetrayont het able.I
'm
surpri
sedbecausethetrayhasal argepl atethati
s
fi
ll
edwi t
heveryt
hingweboughtf ort [Link]
openedallthechi
psandmi xedthem upf or
[Link]
sarethere.
"
Didyoul
eavesomef
ort
heki
ds?
"
"[Link]
m andgethi
m
i
ntoDabul a'
sroom butt
hedumpli
ngsarenotdone
[Link]
a?"
"Nohedoesn'
[Link]
swi
llbefine"It
akethet
ray
befor
eshegoesevenf
urtherandoffer
smore.
Hewil
lhavet
oeatint
hecarbecauseIam not
bot
her
ingDabul
ainhi
sownroom.
Ifi
ndhim ont
hephonebutheendst
hecal
lwhenI
getin.
"
Phi
lididthi
sforyou"Ihadhi
mthepl
ateandput
t
het
r ayatthebackseat
.
"Thanks"hest
art
seati
ngrightaway"
Doyoumindi
f
Idri
veout?"Heasksal
readystar
ti
ngthecar
.
"
Ithi
nkyoushoul
dtaket
hecarandcomegetme
t
omorrow"
"
Thanks.I
'
llbr
ingyouback"hedr
ivesout
.
Wedrivet
othemai nroadbeforehetur
nsanddrive
t
[Link]
m eat
t
hechipsasifhedoesn'tf
inditwei
rd.
"Soyoudon'tthi
nkwearetoopoorforyou?We
don'tevenhaveali
vingr
oom"Iaskbeforetaki
nga
biscui
tbecauseheisnotof
fer
ing.
"
Babygi
rl,
Iloveyourf
amil
[Link]'
tcar
eaboutl
ivi
ng
r
[Link]
ldoneifyouwant
"
"
Iwasn'
thi
nti
ngf
orone"
"Iknowyouwer en'
t.I
'mjustsayi
ng"heli
ftsthe
plateandplaceiti
nthebackseatbef
oreturnssowe
arefacingeachother
.
"Soyouar epicki
ngmeupaf [Link]
hereearlyyouwillwai
[Link] nothur
ryi
ng
toleavejustbecauseyouareearl
y.I
fyouhavean
emer gencythenyouleavemycarandhur r
yto
Durbanal one"
"Iwon'
thaveanyemer
gency.I'
l
lbeher
eaf
ter2"he
shif
tcl
oserandhi
shandreachesoutt
omyfacebut
Imovemyheadback.
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"
"Touchi
ngyou"hecont
inuesunti
lhi
sthumbis
caressi
ngmychin"Am Inotal
lowedtot
ouch"
"Noyouarenot"myownhandr eachesf
orhi
sand
[Link]
stsbef
orehemovescloser
unti
lwearecloset
oeachother.
"Ineedt oki
[Link] ease"hewhispersandhis
eyesdr optomyl i
psbeforeheleansinandkissmy
l
ips" Ineedthis"headdsbef or
ehekissesmeagai n.
Thi sti
meIkisshi m agai
nandt ast
ethediff
erent
flavoursinhisli
ps.
"
Nqubeko"Ipul
lawayandbr
eat
h.
"Yes"hishandpul l
smyneckandhi sli
psareon
[Link] sthighsf
or
supportasIkisshim backj
[Link]
pull
sawayhepi cksupthewaterbott
leandopened
[Link] shandsandt hr
ow
awayt hebott
le.
"
Youar
epol
lut
ingt
hear
ea"
Helaughsandgetbackinthecarbef oreheis
ki
[Link]
imehi shandsr ubsthe
pant
[Link] eali
zesthat
hecantouchthefl
eshhegr untsi
nf r
ust r
ati
onandI
l
augh.
"
Youwant
edmet
obewar
m"Ispeakagai
nsthi
s
l
ips.
"Youarewarm"herepl
[Link]
handsreachevenhi
gherunti
ltheyreacht
heelast
ic
partoft
hepantsandthenhereachesinsi
de.
"
Wai
t"Ipul
lbackandsnapt
heel
ast
ici
ntomyski
n.
"Wearejustki
ssi
[Link]
[Link]
essyouar
enot
comfor
table"
"I'
mf i
nebutwehavetotal
kabouttheel
ephanti
n
thecar"heexhal
esandnodbefor
ekissi
ngmyl i
ps
again.
"Inaminut e"hewhispersandcont inuetokissme.
I'
m onthecr [Link] tsaysgowi thaf l
ow
andanot hersaysdon'tyoudar [Link] s.
Hishandgoesbacki ntothepant [Link]'tpullback
evenwhenhet ouchestheshavedpar tofmeand
hiskneepushesmyl egsapar t
.Whenhef i
nally
touchesmeIcanf eelhim exhaleandhi stonguei s
i
nmymout [Link] dhi mt i
ght.
Hishandr eachesdownandhi sf i
ngersfindtheir
wayi n.
"Someonemi
ghtseeus"Ispeakaf
terheki
ssmy
neck.
"Shhh"hewhi
sper
sandFr
enchki
ssmyneck"
just
come"
Ipushmylegswiderandlaybackabitsohecan
[Link]
lthesensi
ti
ve
spotsandbef
orelongi
'm basi
cal
lyri
dinghi
shand
whil
eholdi
nghimt i
ght
.
"Ri
ghtther [Link]
ghtt
her
[Link]"
i
'm gaspingforairandmymusclesar
etensi
ngup
unti
lIcli
maxhar dandmybodyisshudderi
ng
againsthis.
"Iloveyou"hekissmyl i
psandwi
thdr
awhi
shand
slowlyunti
lit
'sallout
.
Il
aymyheadonhi
schestandi
nhal
ehi
sper
fume.
Chapt
er40

Thembeka
"
Canyoust
and?
"AskNqubekohi
sar
msst
il
lar
ound
me.
Inodandhesl owl
yeasemedownuntilmyf
eetar
e
onthegroundbutmykneesar
esti
llf
eeli
ngweakso
Idon'
tletgo.
"
Letmecar
ryyout
othecar
"hewhi
sper
s.
"[Link]
'sf
[Link]
vemeamoment "Ishouldbeablet
o
[Link]
gasm hasneverparal
yzed
anyone.
"Let
'[Link]
'scol
d"heleansover
[Link]'tpr
otestwhen
hebendsdownandl i
ftonel
[Link]
shoulderunt
ilhepull
sthem upandpullt
hedress
down.
"Ar
eyounotcol
d?"Heiswear
ingaj
acketbutIt
hink
hemightbecol
dtoo.
"No.I'
mf i
ne"pickmeupandpl acemeont hesame
posit
ionwasi nonl
yt hi
sti
mehei snotpull
ingmy
l
egandt ryingtohi
tthatspotinsidemeandme
tel
li
nghim [Link] ebothdr
essed
andhei sleani
ngagainstthecarbet weenmylegs.
It'
sdarkal
readyandithel
psthatweparkednearthe
treesandther
eisnohousenearbyotherwise
someonemi ghthaveseenusandIwillbea
brandedahoeandmycousi nsgett
ingareputat
ion
theydidn'
taskfor
.
"
Nor
egr
etspl
ease"saysNqubekoki
ssi
ngmycheek.
"Idon'
t.I'
mj ustt
hinki
ngaboutsomethingsil
[Link]
's
tal
kaboutFanel e"sheist
heelephanti
nourl i
[Link]
muchasImanagedt ogoonwi t
houtthinki
ngabout
herforfewdaysi t'
snotpossi
[Link]
sheisfami l
y.
"Howdi dyouknowaboutFanel
eanyway?
"Heask
hisfacesocloset
omineIcansmellt
hechipshe
ateearl
ier
.
"Shecamet omyhouseandt
oldmeyouwanttokil
l
thebaby"eveni
nthedar
kIcanseeNqubeko'
seyes
gowide.
"
Shecamet
oyou?When?
"
"[Link]
aileddat
[Link]
eyoutryi
ng
tokil
lthebabyNqubeko?"Ifoldmyarmsonmy
chestsowehavet hatl
it
tl
espacebetweenus.
"[Link]
e
didthatal
[Link]'tt
hinki
t'
sfai
rthatt
hatI
'
m
forcedtobeaparentinsuchaway"
"
Soyouwantt hebabytodie?"Igethispoi
ntbutat
t
hispoi
ntit
'[Link]
'saboutachi
ld
t
hat'
sgrowinginthatwoman'sstomach.
"
It
'snotababyyet
"
Ipushhim backbutNqubekoi
snotasmal
lmanso
hedoesn'
tevenmove.
"Thereisaheart
beat,shesai
dsheisoverf
our
mont hs.I
nfactIt
hinksheisoverf
ivemonths.I
t'
sa
[Link] i
nypersonwit
hyouDNA"Iyell
athim.
"
Pleasedon'
tyel
latme"
"I
'
m sorr
[Link]'
tmeant oyellbuti
t'
saperson
[Link]
d"eventhoughithurt
sthati
t'
s
someoneelsebutstil
lit
'sNqubekointher
easwell.
"
Soyout
hinkIshoul
dletherhavet
hisbabyandbe
t
iedt
omeforever
?"
"
Shei
sal
readyt
iedt
oyouNqubeko.I
fyougetr
idof
thi
sbabyitwon'tchangeanyt
[Link]
il
lbe
themotherofthebabyyoukil
led"hetakemyhands
andpullt
hem [Link]
ytofoldthem agai
n
hehol
dt hem onmysi de.
"Ineverwant
edachi
[Link]
hanyone
[Link]
ttedacr
imeagainstme"
"Andyouwantt hebabyt opaythepri
ce?Shet ol
d
meshewi l
lraisethebabyawayf rom youbutshe
needsyoutohel pwiththeexpenseswhenshecan't
aff
ordsomet [Link]'
sallshewants"
Thi
stimehel
et'
sgoandmovef r
om i
nfr
ontofme
bef
orehescr
atcheshi
shead.
"
Doyoureal
lyt
hinkshecandot
hat
?Taket
he
moneyandl
eave?"
"Maybenotbuthowhar dcoul
ditbeforyoutosend
hermoneyeverynowandt hen?Youcansetup
someaccountforthem andhaveyourbank
automati
cal
[Link] hi
ng
Nqubeko"Ican'
tbeli
eveI'
m ar
guingFanele'
scase
butit
'[Link].
"
Andus?Won'
tthi
sbabyr
uinus?
"
"Idon'tknowbutIdoknowt hatIdon'
twantyout o
kil
lyourchi l
dasaf avourt
ome"Iknowwhati 'm
saying.I'm sayi
ngtherei
[Link]
somet hinginthefutur
ebutwewi llcr
osst
hatbridge
whenwegett her
e.
"Youdol ovemeThembeka?Nopr essur
etodo
anythi
[Link]
[Link]
eeli
ngsformear
e
sti
llt
here?"
"[Link]
il
lhavef
eeli
ngsforyouandevenmuch
mor ewhenFanel
ecamet omeandIr eal
izedIdidn'
t
wantyouwi t
hsomeoneelse"Butpartofmest i
ll
hateshoweveryt
hinghappenedbutidon'tsayitout
l
oud.
"Butyousti
llr
esentmeforwhathappenbetween
us?"Heasksaf t
[Link]
stayedwit
hhim hedidf
igur
esomet hingsoutabout
me.
"
Partofmest
il
ldoes"ir
epl
yandpl
aywi
thmy
f
inger
s.
"
Wecangof orcounsel
li
[Link]
[Link]
t
whenisai
dwecant ryi
tallt
ofi
xus"hecomesback
t
omyf aceandhi
shandisaroundmyneck
"
Anyt
hingbabygi
rl
.Pl
ease"hebegs
"
Letmegoformyownther
[Link]
fandt
hen
wecanf
ixusbot
[Link]"
"Noprobl
em butwecanconti
nuet
oseeeachother
?
Nopressuret
hough"ithi
nkt
hismeanswecan
cont
inuetohavesex.
"Buti'
m al
lowedt
ogooutwithf
[Link]
ake
meoutondat esandnotcompl
ainaboutmy
clot
hes"
"
Eveni
fit
'scol
dandif
earyouwi
llgetsi
ck?
"
"
Nqubeko!
!"
"
Okay,
okay.I
'
llt
rynott
ocomplai
[Link]
'
m al
lowed
t
ohaveanopini
onontheout
fi
tonceinawhi
le?"
"
Onceaweek"inegot
iat
e
"
Thr
eet
imesaweek"
"
Twotimesaweekandnoti
fi'
m goi
ngoutwi
th
f
ri
ends"
Hegoesqui
etf
oramomentbef
orehel
aughs
"Okayfi
[Link]
[Link]'
m al
lowedtodrop
andpickyouupont
hoseoutingwit
hf r
iends"
"Yeahsur
e.I
fi'
m dr
unkiwon'
tbeabl
etodr
ive
anyway"
"Andicanst
ayift
her
earemeni
nthosepar
ti
es.
Thisi
snonnegoti
abl
e"
"Defi
[Link] ngeneralokaybuti
fmenasi n
[Link]
ocheert hest
ri
ppersand
comehomet ofuckl
iket
hatday"beinginthedar
k
helpsbecauseNqubekocan'tseemybur ni
ng
cheeks.
"
Meningeneral
.Butst
ri
pper
sar
enotal
lowedt
o
t
[Link]
nthatway"
"
Fai
renough"
"Shakeonit
?"Heasksandiof
[Link]
shakehandsandlaugh.
"Il
oveyou"headdsbef
orehewr
apshi
sar
ms
aroundme.
"Il
oveyout ooandyouandFaneleneedtosor
tthi
s
[Link]'tki
llt
[Link]
hur
tsbutababydeser
vesaf
airchance"iwr
apmy
ownarmsaroundhim.
"I
'
[Link]
akeyoubackhome
beforetheyworry"buthedoesn'
tpul
[Link]
honestidon'twanthimto.
Idon'
tknowifiwi
llr
egr
ett
hisbutdeepdown
somethi
ngtel
lsmeihavet
otakeachance.
Chapt
er41

Nqubeko.

IwatchThembekawal kinsi
dethehouseandcl ose
thedoorbef oredr
ivi
[Link]' twantt oleave
butIcan'[Link]
eepinginthecarisnotanopt i
on
especi
allywheni '
mt hist
ir
[Link]
vef urtheraway
befor
ecal l
[Link] oralong
ti
mebef oreshef i
nall
yanswerssoundi ngl i
kesheis
i
napar ty.
"Hell
o"shespeaksandIhearsomeonetel
li
ng
otherst
okeepitdown.I
tmustbeal ar
gefamil
y.
"Canwet al
k?I'
m sti
l
lher
e"Iaskwhi
lesi
tt
ingback
andfeel
ingThembeka'spant
iesi
[Link]
hesi
tat
ef i
rstbef
oresayi
ngokay.
Iendt hecallandclosemyeyesr emember i
ng
Thembeka' shandsar [Link] i
esof
pleasur eandherwar mt [Link]
mysel fgetf i
rmj ustthinki
ngabouthowhoti twas
andhowgoodi tfel
[Link]
carwasevenbet terandshewasn' teventi
[Link]
ther ealsurpri
sewast hewaysheacceptedt he
[Link]'twantt olieandsayit
'smysex
gamebecausei t'
snot .It'
[Link]
cousi ns,theycalm [Link] aandI
wer et al
kingshewasn' twearingt
hesourlookon
herf aceevent houghFanel ewashereandshe
[Link] m andhappywhi chIthi
nki twas
becauseDabul awast here.
Myt hought
sgoasf arasthefi
rstti
mewewer e
marriedandIt
oldherwewer egoingtolivei
n
[Link]
dn'tsayanythi
ngatallbutwhent he
dayshewaspackedandr eadyt ogo.I
nDur banshe
di
dn'tsayanyt
hingbutfi
xedthehousei ntoahome
whilesi ngingalongt osomesongsI '
veneverheard
before.I twasawhi lebeforeIhear dherlaughwhile
watchi ngTVandshet houghtIwassl eeping.A
l
aught hatshoul dhavewokemeupbutIwast oo
busyt of ocusont [Link]
safepl [Link] hingsr i
ghtfrom thestar
tI
wouldn' tbeonlyl earningnowt hatThembekai sa
l
itt
lefreakwhenhor [Link] idi
ngme
i
nt hebackseatshowsj ustthatandIlovedhowshe
camei nherownt ermsbef oreIcamei nsideher
mor [Link] oti
ct houghtsarestoppedby
reali
zingt hatweneverusedpr otecti
onatal l
.
"Shi
t"Icur
sequiet
lyandpulloutmyphonewanti
ng
toaskifshei
sonbi r
thcontr
olsowecangetthepil
l
i
fnotbutFaneleknocksonthewindow.I
'm so
caughtupint
houghtsIdidn'
tevenseeher
approach.
"Sor
ry"Isayaf
teropeni
ngt
hedoorandputt
he
phoneaway.
"I
t'
sfi
[Link]
dn'
tknowyouaresti
llher
e"her
stomachseemsevenbi
ggerthanbefore.
"
YeahIwaswit
[Link]
dyoutellher?"I
t
urnt
heli
ghtonsoshecanseemyfacecl
early.
"BecauseIknewshemi ghtt
alksomesensei
nto
[Link]
nkshedid"shesmil
eslikeshej
ustf
ounda
breakthr
ough.
"Shethi
nksIshouldl
etyoukeepthebaby"Imake
suresheknowsit'
snotmydecisi
onandt hatshe
shoul
dbegr at
efult
oherfort
his.
"Andi
'
m gr
atef
ulforthat
"shecont
inuest
osmi
le
andbr
ushherpregnancy.
"Whydidyoutel
lhert
hetruth?Youcoul
dhaveli
ed
andrui
nedmyname"t hesmi l
evani
shesandshe
l
ooksatmel i
kesheisconfused.
"
Youwant
edmet
oli
e?"
"Nobutyoucoul [Link] oldherwe
cheatedsoshedumpsmeandyouandIr ai
sethe
babyt oget
her.I
sn'tt
hatyourpl
an?"Igiveherahar d
l
ookandhopesheget ssomekindofeffectand
showmesomef earbutshedoesn'
[Link] i
lll
ooks
confusedandaf t
eramomentherf acecl earsoff
andshel aughsabi t
.
"WhywouldIwantyout oloseawomanyoulove?
Everyonedeser
vessomeonewhol ovest
hem even
thoughatti
met heyhur
tthem"
"Pleasedon'
tactallwhol
lywholl
[Link]
thoughtsofrom t
hebeginni
ngyouwoul dn'
thave
agreedtothi
[Link] ewentbehindmy
backwi t
hthi
s"Ishoutandshedoesn'tevenjump.
"[Link] ewantedt odothi
swhet herI
agreedornot.I
fIsaidnoshewoul dhavehired
someoneel seandsti
lldoit
.Wedon' tknowwhat
thatpersonwouldhavebeenl i
[Link] hey
wouldhavewant edmor et
hanj ustchi
ldsupport
from [Link] royedyour
housebef or
eyoudidityoursel
f"hervoicesounds
sharp.
"
Ormaybehadanaborti
onassoonast
heyr
eal
ized
i
twasascam"Ishootback.
"Okayfine.I
'l
lhavethebabyandgiveitt
oyouto
kil
l"sheyell
sherhandsgoingint
of i
stsandso
closetohitt
ingthecar.
"
[Link]
ameNobuhl
efort
hisbutyouhavet
o
acknowledgeyourpartinthi
[Link]
herdothis"Itr
ytocalm myselfdownbeforeshe
hassomeki ndofaf i
[Link] ndof
mentalil
lnessbutunti
lIknowf orsur
ewhat '
sgoing
oninherheadIhavet opullbackbeforeIpushher
overtheedge.
"ButNobuhledidn'tj
ustrandomlypickyouNqubeko
i
nabusi [Link] l
li
ngl
ysleptwithher
foryear
[Link] evershedidtoyou,youal sohada
handoni tbecauseifyouwer ehomewi thyourwife
shewouldn'thaveknockedandaskedf orasperm"
herwordshitmehar [Link]
[Link]
Nobuhleintomyl i
fewhenIhadawi feathome.
"
Butst
il
l.
..
..
"
"
[Link] hebl
[Link]
ped
t
hesit
uati
ontoo"sheevenpoi
ntsaf
ingeratme.
"
[Link]
s
woul
dn'
thappen"Ipoi
ntherst
omach.
"
Yeahwelli
thappenswhenyouunderest
imate
womenl
[Link]
war
nyou"shelookandsmile.I
t'
snotavi
ndict
ive
smi
lebutapur esmil
ethatreacheshereyesand
makesthem evenlar
gerthanbefore.
"Noyoudidn'
[Link]
dn'tevental
kt omeFanele.
Youwer ej
ustFanel
e'
srunnerandshet reat
edyou
l
ikecrapmostoftheti
me"t hatst
ingsIcanseethe
smil
edisappeari
ngonhereyes.
"Shetreatedmej ustfi
[Link] ri
edsomanyt i
mest o
[Link] arasbef riendingt he
[Link]
ThembekaandIusedt ot hinkit'
sf unnyt hatshe
wast hesameshadeasyourwi f
e, t hesamebody
str
ucturewi t
hhershor tlegsandt hatwhenshe
smiledheryoucanonl yseeherf ourf rontt eet
hjust
l
ikeyourwi [Link] egnant .Isai di tseven
ti
mest hatThembekai spr egnant .Thatshei s
havingababyandhopeherhusbandwashappy
[Link] dn'tevenknowt hatyou
weren'tonboar daboutt hebabyt hi [Link] e
mademebel i
evethatitwasadeci sionyoubot h
[Link] i
edtomeabouthowi twasaf fecti
ng
yourrelat
ionshipthatshecoul dn'tconcei veand
whensheaskedi fIcanhel pIsai [Link] ust
thoughti
twasoddt hatyouwoul dhaveawifeand
wantachildwithsomeoneel sebutheyyourich
peopledothi
ngsdifferent
ly"Ithinkaboutwhatshe
i
[Link] [Link] d
thi
nkitwassuchacoi nci
dentthatshewouldbe
Thembekaandhavesomesi mi l
ari
ti
estomywi fe
butIpushedthatoffasmef eeli
ngguilt
yabout
whatIwasdoi ng.
"Youshoul
dhavespokenupFanel
[Link]
lmeonthe
sideandaskwhyI
'm pl
anni
ngababywithasi
de
chick"
"Weknowyouwoul dn'
thaveheardme.I '
m sorr
yto
saythisbutIthi
nkyouar enotassmar tasyou
[Link]'treadbetweenthel i
nesas
[Link] yseethi
ngsoncesomeone
hasdr awnthenouttoyou"thatsoundslikean
i
[Link]
actit'
saninsul
tbutIdon'tshowherthatI
fel
tit
.
"Youdon'tknowmuchaboutmeFanel [Link]
knowwhatIal l
[Link]'tmakea
mistakeofthi
nki ngyou'
vef
igur
edmeout "Iwarn
herbutIcant ellshei
snotmovedatall.
"Idon'
tneedto.I
nfactIdon'
tgi
veadamnabout
[Link]
ywantthisbabytohaveachancei
nli
fe"
shecuddlesherbel
ly.
"
Weneedt
ohavesomer
ules"
"
Forwho?
"
"[Link]
stonwant i
ngmei nvolved.I
'
m
[Link]
llbeinvol
[Link]
endthe
doctor'
sappointment.
..
.."
"Takemymedication,cont
inuewit
hmyt herapy,
be
aroundf
amil
y,eatheal t
hy,dogent
leexer
cisesand
makesureIdel
iveraheal t
hybaby"shefi
nishesof
formeinacheerfulvoice.
"
[Link]
llal
sost
ayawayf
rom Thembeka"
"
Becauseyouthinkiwanttor
uinyourr
elati
onshi
p?
Gi
[Link]
enotmyt ype"
I
'
ml ef
tspeechl
essbuti
ttakesmef
ewmi
nut
est
o
r
ecover
.
"
Idi
dn'
tsayIwas"
"
[Link]?
"
"Wai
[Link]
ngrelatedto
Thembekaanyway?
"Iaskandwaitforheranswer
.
"[Link]
yoneel
seI
didn'
tchoosemyf [Link]
oreyouaccuseme
offorgingtherel
[Link] heot
her
wayar ound"
Inodandl
ookatt
het
ime.I
t'
slat
eandIst
il
lhavet
o
dri
vehome.
"
Wewi
llt
alk"
"Sharp"sheopenst hedoorandgetout .Iwatchas
shewal kawaywi [Link] o
fi
ndherol ddoctorbeforetal
kingtothecur r
ent
doctorsoIknowwhatexact l
yIam deal ingwith.
Somet hi
ngtell
smet hathercurrentdoctormight
havebeeni nNobuhl e'
spayrollandifsoIneedt o
[Link] shavingmybabyaf terall
.
Chapt
er42

Nqubeko.
I'
m drivi
nghomei nhi ghspi
rit
.Thingsar elooki
ng
upagai nandi'm excitedIdon'tevenf eelt
he
annoyanceoft hethickf ogthatcover sthewhole
[Link]
lymakei thomebef oret heyarealli
n
[Link] obragabouthavi ngThembekabackt o
myl i
febutIcan'tyet .Ihavetowai tabitsothereis
nopr essure.
"
Thatgr
inistel
li
ng"saysBuhl
ebef
oreshehands
meherdaughter
.
"Whyi
sshest
il
lup?
"nor
malbabi
essl
eepbef
ore8
pm.
"Don'
[Link]?"Sheasksbef
ore
shegivesmeabot t
let
ofeedt
hispersonwho
shoul
dbesl eepi
ng.
"Shei
sfine"It
urnmyattenti
onbackt
othechi
ldso
hermothercanstopi
nterr
ogati
ngme.
"Andyouar edr
ivi
nghercarbecause?
"Sheasks
[Link]
izeit
wasat r
[Link]
tawaythati
t'
sreal
ly
hercar.
"
Ibor
rowedi
t"Ir
epl
y
"Yeahri
[Link] ual
lysawyouinPl
[Link]
[Link]
dnotl ookli
keadivor
cedcouple"she
conti
nuetolaugh.
"
Youwer
einPl
azat
oday?
"
"
[Link]
he
i
nter
rogat
iontomor
row"shewar
nsandtakebaby
f
rom myar ms.
"Thanksf
ort
heheadsup"Igetupandf
oll
owher
out.
Mythoughtsar
eint
err
uptedbyMlul
eki
'
scal
l.I
answerhi
m asIunl
ockthedoort
omyownroom.
"
Heyman"
"Yousoundexci
[Link]
aket
het
ri
pwasasuccess"
helaughs.
"Youhavenoidea.I'
m backi
nbusi
ness"Ican'thel
p
myself
.Itf
eel
slikeIcanfacewhat
everthat
's
comingmywaywi t
hThembekabymysi de.
"Youdoknowwhatt [Link]
ght
?"Hist
onei
s
backtoser
[Link]
oburstmy
bubbl
esIcanf eel
it.
"
What
?"
"Loyal
[Link]' texpectThembekat obe
l
oyalandt henfai
ltoreturnthefavour"sometimes
hedoesactl i
keabigbr otherbutIdon'tmind.I'
m
notclosetomybr othersafteral
[Link]
weenhi m and
myf ri
ends,IcansayI '
m doingverywell.
"
OfcauseIwi
llbel
oyal
"
"Notjustbei
ngfai
thf
ulbutsheneedstoknowthe
[Link]
nnocent
chil
dyoumar ri
ed"
Thi
siswor
set
hanIassumed.
"
Mlu"
"Don'
[Link] [Link]'t
knowwhathewi l
lbri
ngsoThembekaneedst o
knoweveryt
[Link] f
herli
fei
[Link]
hingNqubeko"
"[Link]
sback"myhand
automatical
lyf
eel
smygunasi fhewi
llpopupr
ight
here.
"
Yesandhecont
act
edMt
hal
aneandZi
ndel
[Link]
knowheisnotbackbecausehemi
ssest
hebeach"I
evenf
ailt
olaughatt
hat.
"Youthinkhemi ghtgoforThembeka?"That
thoughtalonesqueezesmyheartpainful
[Link]'
t
havethat.
"Cowardshavenoboundar
[Link]
[Link]
lgofort
heweakerpart"hewarns.
"
I'
llgetTi
koback"
"Goodbutt ellhersoshei sawar [Link] o
knowt hatyoudon' tjustcarrythegunbutyoucan
pullt
het ri
ggeraswel landthatsomet i
mest hese
thi
ngsdobackf ir
eandt hr
eatenfamily"Iheara
womant al
kingt ohim.
"
[Link]
hen"
"Andi'
m aboutt
obeext
remel
ybusy"hel
aughsand
endthecall
.
Idi
alTi
ko'
snumberandheanswer
squi
ckl
y.
"
Sur
eboss"
"
Ithi
nkImi
ghtneedt
[Link]
eyoui
nDur
ban?
"
"
YesI'
mi [Link]
odayandhet ol
d
methatJacobisbackandhewantedthenforsome
j
obbuthedidn'tsaywhati
twas"expl
ainsTi
ko
"
It
'scool
.Wai
tformycal
lthen"
"
Sur
eboss"
Iendthecallandcal
[Link]
voicemail
.Myheartst
art
stowonderbutIpushthat
thoughtawayandtryagai
n.I
tringst
histi
meand
sheanswer saft
erawhil
e.
"
MaKhumal
o"
"
Mbonambi
"sher
epl
iesandIcant
ellshei
ssmi
l
ing.
"
Areyoui
nbed?
"
"
Yesandyou?
"Iheart
heki
dsl
aughandshel
aughs
t
oo.
"
Notyet
.Ar
eyouwar
m enought
her
e?"
"
YesIam"shel
aughsl
oudert
hanbef
ore.
"
[Link]
ghtt
oyourf
ami
lyf
ormet
hen"
"
Nqubekosaysgoodni
ghtguys"sheannouncesand
t
heki
dssaygoodnightbackbefor
etheygiggl
e.
"
Theysaygoodnightaswel
l"sher
epl
iesandIf
ind
mysel
fsmil
ing.
"
Goodni
ghtt
oyout
oomyl
[Link]
eam ofmehey"
Iexpecthert
olaughbutshedoesn'
t.
"
Imi
ghtj
ustdot
hat
.Youdot
hesame,
okay?
"
"
Iwi
ll
.Imi
ssyou"Iwhi
sperandIhavenoi
deawhy.
"
Imi
[Link]
llseeeachot
her
t
omor
row"
Myphonewar
nsmet
hatt
hebat
ter
yisl
ow.
"
IloveyouMaKhumal
o"
"
Ther
ear
ekidsher
eIcan'
tsaythatbutyouknow"I
i
magi
neherbl
ushi
nganditmakesmehar d.
"Okay.I
'l
lcal
lyout
omor r
ow"Iendthecal
land
[Link]
nkshecancomefor
met henhehasanotherthi
ngcoming.

*
***
**
*
***
**
Thembeka

Iwakeuplat
ethenextmor
[Link]
iisl
onggone
andtheki
[Link]
oldmyblanket
sandsweepthe
fl
oorbef
oregoi
ngtotheki
tchen.
If
indt
hem havi
ngbr
eakf
ast
.
"
Mor
ningguys"Igr
eet
"
Mor
ning"r
epl
iesPhi
liasshecont
inueswi
tht
het
ea.
Imixhotandcol dwatertowashup."Yourphonei s
[Link]
yup.I '
llmakebr
eakfastforyou"
sheaddsbef or
eIwalkout .Inodmyeyesf ocusi
ng
onthepeopleIseeappr oachingt
[Link]
'stwo
menandt hreewomen.
Iwalkbacktother
oom bef
oret
heygetcl
oser
becauseit
'scl
eart
hatt
heyarecomi
nghere.
LastnightIt
oldPhi
liever
ythingaboutNqubekoand
[Link]
yshockedandsai ditwas
bett
erthatFanel
ewasn'tstayingwit
husbecauseit
wouldhavebeenawkwar [Link] snotwr
ong.I
mighthaveconvi
ncedNqubekotoletFanel
ekeep
t
hebabybutdeepdowni t
'snotexactl
yathri
ll
ing
i
ssue.
Iwashupqui ckl yandchanget hesleepweart o
somet hingrepr esent
ableandt hengot othekit
chen.
Theki dsarepl ayingoutsideandDabul aisback.I
walki nandgr [Link] adiesreplywhi l
eanother
givesmeanaccusi nglookbutIdon' tcareabouther.
Philioff
ersthem t eaandt hemenpol it
elydecli
ne.
Onlyonel adysaysshewi llhaveteaonl ytheother
s
don'tevenbot hert orepl
yt oher .
"Wesawt [Link]
nglike
l
over s"saysthemanandIst opcol
lect
ingthe
dishestot hewashingbasi
[Link]
aretalki
ngaboutme.
"ThenlaterFanel
egoestothesamecar .Shei
s
pregnantandshehasn'tsai
dmuchaboutt hebaby
butaftershewenttothecarIaskedherift
hatwas
[Link]
dyes"cont
inuesthewomanaf t
er
theman.
"
Sowhatexact
lyi
sthepr
obl
em?
"AsksDabul
ahi
s
voi
cesoundingl
ikei
t'
snotcomingf
rom hi
m atal
l.
Hesoundolderandt
hreat
ening.
"Wewantt oknowwhatisshedoi
ngwi t
hFanel
e'
s
boyfr
iend"t
hewomanr epl
iesasi
fit
'sanobvi
ous
thi
ng.
"Di
dyout
alkt
oFanel
ebef
orecomi
ngher
e?"Asks
Phi
li
"FaneleispregnantPhil
[Link]'
vebeenpr
egnant
beforeyouknowt [Link]
protect
ed"repli
esthesecondwomannotanswer i
ng
Phil
i'squest
ion.
"WellsinceFaneledi
dn'tt
[Link]
[Link] egnantmeand
myhusbandhadnot hingtodowi thit
"Ir
eplyand
theyalllookatmeasi fi
'm alamppostthatjust
star
tedt al
king.
"
Butyouaredi
vor
ced"someoneaddsaf
tera
moment.
"[Link]
eali
ty,NqubekoandIarever
ymuch
sti
llmar
ri
ed"Ireplyandlookatmycousinstheyar
e
bothnoddingasiftosupportwhatI
'
m sayi
ng.
"Whatdoyoumeant
hatboyhadnot
hingt
odowi
th
Fanel
e?"Askt
heman.
"Whydon'tyouaskher
?I'
m sureshewillbehappy
toexplai
nhowshereal
lygotpregnant
"theylook
confusedandthemenmumbl esomethingIcan'
t
hearclear
ly.
"
Whatisdi
vor
cedonpaper
?It
'sei
theryouar
e
mar
ri
edornot"sayst
hemanoutl
oud.
"Wellt
hingsdon'
talwaysworkoutthewayyou
expectthem t
[Link]
ngsour
way"myl if
ehasnothi
ngtodowi t
ht hem.
"Yourwayshouldn'
thur
tFanel
[Link]
andaf f
air
sarethel
astt
hingsheneedsri
ghtnow"
preachesthel
adynolongerdr
inki
nghert
ea.
"[Link]'
tknowaboutt
[Link]
cameheretobullyus?"AskDabula
"[Link] et
osortoutwhatcouldhurtthi
s
famil
[Link]'twanttolose
herbecausetherewasthi
sbi gmisunder
standi
ng.
Familyprot
ecteachother
"saysthemanwi t
hout
l
ookingatDabula.
"
Sowhatexact
lyi
sthr
eat
eni
ngt
hisf
ami
ly?
"Iask
"
ThatyouandFanel
eshar
etheman"r
epl
iest
he
womanandother
snodtoagreewi
tht
hem.
"Wedon' t
.Nqubekoismymannother [Link]
[Link] ehowshegot
[Link] [Link] [Link]"
i
'm yell
ingnowIcanseei tintheirf
acesbutyou
knowt heelderswhoalwayst hi
nkthingshavet o
happent hei
[Link] edon'tseem
convincedthatther
eisnothingmagi cal
ly
happeningbetweenNqubekoandFanel e.
"Doesn'
tmat t
erhowi [Link] eyou
goingtocopewhent hebabycomesandNqubeko
hastobet hefatherandyouar enotthemot her?
"I
thi
nkshethinksherwor dsshouldhur tmebecause
mymani shavi ngababywi thsomeoneel [Link] s
notfarof
[Link] tdoeshurtbutnotthewayt hey
thi
nkitdoesandIwon' tgivethem t
hatsatisfact
ion.
"Iwon'
tcar
e"Ir
epl
yandIseet
hem shaki
ngt
hei
r
heads.
"
Soyouwoul
drat
herhur
tyour
sel
finst
eadofl
ett
ing
them dothiswi t
houtyou?"Oneofthem goesf ort
he
kil
[Link]
lmet oleave
Nqubekof orFanelebecauseFaneleiscarryi
nghis
[Link]
sr unni
ngaroundwasj ustforthi
spart.
"
Whosai
di'
m hur
ti
ngmysel
f?"
"Butyouwil
lbewhenwet akeFaneletohishomet
o
reportt
hepregnancyandi
fthei
rarereasonabl
e
famil
ytheywillwantt
odoar i
ghtt
hing"theman
says.
"
Whatr
ightt
hing?
"AskDabul
a.
"
Mar
ryFanel
esothebabyhasbot
hpar
ent
s"says
t
hemanandthewomenagree.
"Soyouareher
et oaskmetobreakupwith
Nqubekosohim andFanel
ecanbetogether
?"Phi
li
givesmetheweir
dlookbutii
gnoreher
.
"[Link] nthisfamil
[Link]
Fanelear
[Link]'tber i
ghtifthisi
ssues
comesoutandyouar einal ovetr
[Link]
[Link]
lfindsomeoneel [Link] do
thi
stogether
"saysthewomanconvi ncedthatshe
canmanipulatemeint oagreeingwiththis.
"It
'[Link] smi neandi '
m
keepinghim.I ft
hatbot hersanyonesomuchihope
[Link] hingleftt
osaymayi
[Link] ocallNqubekoandaskhi mt o
washmycarbef or
ehecomest opickmeup"idon' t
evenwai [Link] ot el
lNqubekot hi
s.
Nowiwi shinevertoldhimt ol etFanelekeepthe
[Link]'
snotevenbor nyetbutal readythereis
dramaar oundi t
.Butiftheythi nki'
llj
usthandhi m
overtoherj ustl
ikethat,thentheydon' tknowmeat
all
.
Chapt
er43

Thembeka.

"Thembeka!
!"Nqubekoyell
ingmynameisthe
reasonwhyIstopyell
ingathim."
Takeadeep
breathandt
ellmewhat '
[Link]
owert
his
ti
me"headds.
"Thi
sfami
lyistel
li
ngmethatineedtol
etFanel
e
haveyoubecauseshei
spregnantandt
hatitwi
ll
hurtmetoseeyouandherhaveababy
toget
her
..
..
..
"
"
Whatf
ami
ly"hecut
smeof
fbef
oreicancont
inue.
"
Fanel
e'
sfami
ly"ir
epl
ynotevenwant
ingt
osaymy
f
amil
y.
"Wow"that
'[Link]
smakesmyanger
reacht
heroofsoiendt hecallbef
oreisay
somethi
ngi'l
lregr
ettohim.
Hecall
sbackagainandiwatchthephoneasit
ri
ngstovoi
cemail
.Themessagef ol
lowsandt
hen
anot
hercal
[Link]
hesameagai [Link]
whenyoutellt
hem somet
hingli
kethis?Wow?
"Thembeka"Phil
i'
svoicemakesmej [Link]
hurri
esi
nandt aketheringi
ngphone.
"Don'
tanswerhim"iwar
[Link]
ooksconfused
asthephonestopsri
ngi
ngandanothermessage
fol
lows.
"
Andt
hen?
"Sheasks.
"
Nqubekoonlysai
[Link]
t
ellhi
m whatt
hisf
ami
lyi
ssayi
[Link]
ucken
[Link]
lyi
tmakeshi m happy"i'
m yel
li
ngatPhi
li
now.I
t'
sagoodt hi
ngthattheyleftother
wiset
hey
woul
dbehearingallt
hisanger.
"Soyouar
enowignor
inghi
m?"Sheaskst
il
l
soundi
ngsocal
m.
"[Link] essheishappy
[Link]
'st
heirpl
ansotheycanbehappy
togetherwi
ththei
rbaby"
"Ithoughtyousai dyouar ewil
li
ngtolearntotr
ust
him [Link] ust
ingsomeoneinvolvesheari
ng
them outifthereisami sunderst
[Link]
usyou
don' twanthimt idri
veallt
hewayher ebecausehe
can' tr
eachyouont hephone"heari
nghermakes
suchsensemakesmrangr ybecauseishouldhave
yelledathimf orsayingwow.
Thephonestart
sri
ngingagainandthist
imeshe
handsi
[Link]
hecallandli
sten.
"
Thembeka"
"
Yes"Ir
epl
yqui
etl
yandihearhi
m exhal
e.
"
What
'sgoi
ngont
her
e?"
"Thefami l
ywant
syouandFaneletor
aiset
hebaby
alone"itel
lhi
minacal
mermannerandPhiligi
ves
meat humbsupbef
oreshewalksout
.
"
Whatbaby?
"
"
Howmanybabi
esar
eyouexpect
ingNqubeko?
"
"
[Link]
eisever
yonenow?
"Hesounds
l
ikeheiswalki
ng.
"Theylef
t.I
'm wi
thmycousi
nsnow"Irepl
yandI
sti
lldon'
tgetwhyhesoundssochi
ll
edabouti
tbutI
don'twanttosaymore.
"
Andyoudi
dn'
tcr
y?"Thi
sonei
sunexpect
ed.
"
Soyout
houghtIhadamel
tdowni
nfr
ontoft
hem?
"
"
I'
m onl
yaski
ngMaKhumal
o"
"NoIdi
dn'
[Link]
oldthem theycanforgetitbecause
nooneisgett
ingyoufrom [Link]'
llj
ust
handyouoverthentheyarecrazy"
"Andyoudidn'
tcr
ywhil
esayingthat?Youarenot
cryi
ngri
ghtnow?"[Link]'
tgetwhyheis
moreworri
edaboutmyreacti
on.I'
m nott
otal
ly
i
nsaneyouknow.
"
Ofcausenot
.I'
m notcr
ying"
"
Andyourcousi
nswer
ether
e?"
"
[Link]
eal
lther
e"Ir
epl
ywi
thannoyancenow.
"Il
oveyouThembeka"t
hatisunexpectedatal
[Link]
arehavi
ngaseri
ousconversat
ionhereandithas
nothi
ngtodowit
hhimtell
ingmehel ovesme.
"Iknowandnowt heysayyouandhershouldbe
together
.It
saboutkeepi
ngt hepeacei
nthef
amil
y.
Canyoubel i
evethatr
ubbish"
"
For
gett
[Link]
e,onyourr
eact
ion"
"
What
?"I
'
m notf
oll
owi
ngatal
l.
"ForthepastweeksThembekayou'vebeencrying
nonst opandthi
shappensbutyouarenotcrying.
I'
m proudofyoumyl [Link]
'samajor
achievement"
"[Link]
edtobuttell
ingthem offwas
moreimpor t
[Link] i
eveit
?YouandI
saweachot herfi
rst
.Howdar etheytel
lmet hi
s?"
Nowt hatNqubekoment i
onthisIdofeelli
kecryi
ng.
Notquietsobsbutscream ontopofmyl ungsuntil
i
ffeel
sli
ket
heangerwi
llexi
tonmyf
inger
sand
t
oes.
"TheyarecrazyBabyanddon'
tworryabouti
[Link]
oneistel
li
ngmeanyt hi
ng.I
'm your
sfor
ever"
"Good"Isitonthef
oldedbl
anket
sandexhal
[Link]
arethefamilyt
[Link]
debehi
nd
keepingthepeace?
"
MaKhumal
o"
"
Yes"
"Idi
dn'
tsayst
artcryi
[Link]'tbesad.I
twon't
happenbabyIpromise"Icantel
lhesounds
alar
med.
"Whatkindoffamil
yisthi
s?Wearealsot
hei
rfami
ly.
Justbecausewear eor
phansdoesn'
tmeanwe
shoul
dbebul l
ied"
"Andyouwon'tbef
orl
[Link]
[Link]'
llt
akecareofthat
mess"
"Butsti
lldon'
thur
[Link]'
tthi
nk
[Link]
nktheydeci
dedaloneaft
er
seeingyouandher .Youknowhowt headul t
s
suddenlythinktheyknowi tall
"Idon'twanttolive
withtheguilti
fFanel edoessomet hi
ngaboutl osi
ng
[Link] hingabouthersays' i'
m att
achedt o
thi
sbaby' butshewi lldoi
taloneifshet hi
nksher
familycanruinmyl i
fe.
"Iwon'[Link]
ns
[Link] af
irstandthenPhil
elwanext.
Thereissomet hi
ngIneedt ounderst
andaboutthat
famil
yandhowi tcanbesolved"hesoundsseri
ous.
"
Somet
hingl
ikewhat
?"
"Famil
[Link]
[Link]
breakf
ast?"Hei
savoidi
ngcontinui
ngwi
tht
hist
opi
c
Icantell
.
"
I'
m nol
ongerhungr
y.I
'
llst
artcooki
ngl
unchnow"
"Pl
[Link]
.I'
m begging"
Icantel
lheissmil
[Link]
ml ooki
ngat
meandhowhel ickhislipswhenhedoest hi
s.
"
Iwi
ll
.Il
oveyout
oo"
"
Andmymot
hersayshi
.Il
oveyoumuchmor
e
MaKhumalowam.I
'
llcal
lyouwhenyouar
edone
cooki
ng"
"
Tel
lherIsayhit
[Link]
"
"
Anddon'
tworryaboutthatf
ami
ly.I
nfactf
orget
t
hem.I
'l
lcal
lyoulat
[Link]"
"
Byebaby"Iendt
hecal
landgetup.
Nqubekohastofi
xthi
sorI
'
llper
sonal
lyappr
oach
Fanel
eanditwon'
tendwel
l.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Nqubeko

I'
vebeenavoidi
ngmymot hersi
ncebr eakfastbut
nowIcan'tavoi
dheranymor [Link] sdyi
ng
tolect
uremesoIzi pupmybagandpl acethem in
thecarbefor
egoingt oseemypar ent
[Link]'
sover
fourhourssi
nceItalkedtoThembekabutI '
l
ldelaya
bi
tjustt
ogiveherenoughti
mewi t
hherf
ami
[Link]
ot
herfamil
yissueI'
l
llett
hem come.
"Knockknock"Isayitl
oudbefor
ewal
[Link]
parent
shavevisit
[Link]'
trecogni
ze
andnowIwi shIhadwai t
ed.
"
[Link]
tdown"saysmyf
athersoundi
ngannoyed.
Il
ookatmymot
herandshel
ooksangr
y.
Isi
tdownont heempt
yseatandgreett
hestr
anger
s.
Oneofthem l
ookatmeandIseetheresembl
ance.
Theyl
ookli
keDabula.
Theyr
epl
yandIwai
tformyf
athert
osaysomet
hing.
"
Soyouhaveapr egnantgi
rl
fr
iendNqubeko?"Asks
myfatherget
ti
ngtothepoi
[Link]
edon't
wast
et i
meatall.
"Nott
hati'
m [Link]'
ttol
dme
aboutanypregnancy"Iseemymothergi
vingmea
quest
ioni
ngglance.
"Soyoudon'[Link]
baby?"Asksmyf at
herhisvoi
celoadedwi t
h
warni
[Link]'
sagoodt hi
ngthathecan'tbeatmeup
anymorebecausehelooksl
ikehewant
stogi
veme
arealbeat
ingri
ghtnow.
"Ir
eal
l
ydon'[Link]
yhaveonegi
rl
fr
iendandi
t'
s
Thembeka"Irepl
y.
"Soyouarebacktogetherf
orr
eal?
"Asksmymot her
andmyfatherlooksl
ikehewantstot
ellherof
fbut
hecan'
t.
"[Link]
[Link] e
notpregnantyet"It
ryt
of i
gureouthowt heygot
[Link]
hingwaspl annedso
quick?Moneyi sthemoti
vati
on.
"Soyoudon'tknowFanel
e?Shei
scarryi
ngyour
chil
d"saysonemanandmymot hergasp.
"
NoIdon'
[Link]
dshesaysheknowsme?
"
"
Shei
scar
ryi
ngyourchi
ld"heyel
ls.
"Di
dyouaskherhowshegotpr egnantbecauseI
knowforsur
ethatIneverf
uckedher"
"
Nqubeko!
!!
!!
"yel
lsmyf
ather
.
"I
'
m notlyi
[Link]
eclai
msshei scar
ryingmy
chil
dbutIknowthatIneverf
[Link]
howshegotpr
egnant
"Ii
gnor
emyf
ather
.
"Weal lknowhowpeopl [Link]
aDNAt estdone"hesuggestsandt hi
smakesit
fi
[Link] enotdeali
ngwithsmal lmindedr
ural
[Link] edeal
ingwithopportuni
stsandI'
ll
be
damnedi ft
heythi
nktheycanpushmei ntot
he
corner.
"
Andi
fit
'smychi
ldt
henwhat
?"Iask.
"
Youwillhavet
odoar
ightt
hing"her
epl
iesandmy
f
atherl
ooksatmewai
ti
ngforananswer
.
"
Andthatiswhat
?"Iknowt
heanswer
.Ineedt
hem
t
osayit.
"
Mar r
yher
.Achildneedsasaf
eandsecurehome
wit
htwoparent
s"themanrepl
iesandIl
aughout
l
oud.
"Nqubeko"war
nsmyf
ather
.Ii
gnor
ehi
m andst
and
up.
"Ican'
tbel
[Link]'
tgiveadamn
aboutthechil
[Link] l
l
notgetit
.Ididnotsl
eepwi t
hFanelesofor
getabout
mepayinganythi
[Link]
ghtthi
nghere.I
n
f
actifyouwantar i
ghtt
hingthentel
lmehowyou
wantforThembekabecausethat'
stheonl
ywoman
i
'm wil
li
ngtopayandhavefortherestofmyli
fe.
Notanyoneelse"
Mymot hersmi
[Link]
[Link]'seyesThembekawi
ll
alwaysbethel
it
tl
egir
lImar r
iedandshewant
sher
tobehappy.
"
Sit
"saysmyf
ather
.
"Irespectyouf atherbutthisisnotsomethingI
wantt odealwi [Link] swaiti
ngformeas
[Link] [Link] e.
Askherhowshegotpr egnantandwheni t
'sdone
stophar assingThembekaandhercousi [Link]
thef amil
ydon' tgiveadamnaboutt hem sotheyare
nowmyr esponsibil
it
yandi fanyonetri
estobul l
y
them theywi llhavemet odealwi t
h"IknowI '
ve
gonet oof arbutIdon'[Link]
iandDabul agive
Thembekat heuncondi ti
onalloveshenevergotand
theykeephercal [Link] hem tobesafeand
protectedsoThembekawi llbehappytoo.
Mymotherf
oll
owsmeout
.It
urnt
oherandshe
l
ooksemoti
onal
.
"Treatherwel [Link] sver
yspeci
[Link]
mor etearsandi fsheiscryi
ngbet heonewho
wipest [Link]'tbethereasonwhyshei s
[Link] sreadyshewi l
lmarr
yyouagain"
shehol dmyhandsandsmi [Link]
ebackandkiss
hercheek.I tablessi
ngandIhavet omakeher
proud.
Chapt
er44

Nqubeko.

[Link] ki
ngi nwouldthink
therei
snothi
nghappeni ngunlesst heyseemyhead
betweenThembeka'slegsandherhandscl osed
[Link] isesandfallbut
shecan'tmoveherwai stbecausemyhandsar e
pressi
[Link] ywhenmyl i
pslosescontact
thatsheprot
[Link]
closebutIdi
dn'[Link]
i
nsideher .Ikissheragainstandherl
egstremble.
That'smycuesoImoveupandsi nkinwit
hone
thr
ust .Hernailssinkonmyski nasshecli
max.I
don'twastet i
[Link] therdeepandhardunti
lwe
bothcomeandshei shol di
ngmesot i
ghtl
ikeshe
thi
nkImi ghtvani sh.
"That
'showyousaygoodmor ni
ng"Iwhi
speri
nher
[Link]
hlesslaught
hatmakes
herwholebodytrembl
e.
"
Goodmor
ningMbonambi
"sher
epl
iesandcont
inue
t
ohol
dme.
Idon'tmovei nst
eadIgett hi
sintensef eeli
ngonmy
shoulder
[Link] ssedopportuni
ti
es,t hepainof
l
osingapr egnancywebot hnevergotachancet o
knowaboutandt hepainofwat chingtwoyoung
kidsbri
ngoutt hebestonmyownwi f
[Link] dbe
hersourceofst r
[Link] ort
sher
[Link] tershelostthe
[Link] ehereandIfearmessi ngupagain.
IfshewalksawayIwon' tsur
[Link] amil
ytake
herawayIwi llnevergetherback.
"NeverleavemeMaKhumal o"Isayt hewordsout
l
oudandhol dherevent [Link] dmeback
andsaysnot [Link]'tneedwor [Link]
[Link]'senoughf [Link] sfi
llmyeyesand
Thembekacr ossherankl [Link] ocks
mei nandt hetearsdrop.I '
mf eel
ingweakand
everyt
hingisheavy.
"
Iwon'
tleaveunl
essyoumakemel
eave"hervoi
ce
i
squi
etandsheisnowcalm.
"
Iloveyou"Iadd
"
Iloveyout
oo"sher
epl
ies.
Whenshef i
nall
yunlocksherl egsIr ol
lusoverand
pul
lherovermychest .Wehaveanhourt orest
bef
oreweneedt ogetr eadyforwor [Link]
y
unt
ilherbr
eathi
nggoessof tbutherhanddoesn' t
l
etgoofme.I '
m gl
adshewant stogof ort
herapy.
Wit
hhergreedyfamily,Fanele, Jacobandust r
ying
toworkthi
ngsoutshewi l
ldefinit
elyneedsomeone
tot
alktoevenifi
t'
snotme.
Myphonevibr
atesandIr
eachfort
obef
orei
tri
ngs
anddi
stur
[Link]
'sKhet
hel
o.
"
Shomf
ethu"Il
owermyvoi
ce.
"
Youar
est
il
linbed?
"Heasks
"YesIam"Ir
epl
ymyot
herhandbusybr
ushi
ng
Thembeka'
shead.
"
Areyouwi
thThembeka?
"
"
[Link]
'sup?
"
"Vusitr
iedtocommitsui
[Link]
andl
ord
foundhimj usti
nti
meandst oppedhi mf r
om
swallowingasecondhandfulofpil
ls"
"
Whereishe?"Ishoul
dhavecheckedonhim
i
nst
eadofmaki ngcal
lsandsendingmessages.I
wastoobusytryi
ngtofi
xmyl i
fe.
"I
'
llsendyout
hel
ocat
ion.I
'
mther
enow.I
'
llupdat
e
you"
"Thanksman"heendsthecal
[Link]
hephone
downandholdThembekabeforeclosi
ngmyeyes.I
havetodothi
ngsbett
erthi
sti
me.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Iwakeherupaft
[Link]
ogetreadyf
or
workandineedtocal
lTi
kosohecanstar
tandi
needtogoseeVusi.
"
Mor
ning"shesmi
lesandki
ssmyneck.
"Morni
ngandyoumightwanttost
opdoingthat
MaKhumalobefor
eyouarelat
eforyoufir
stday
back"Iwar
nassheconti
nuestoplantki
ssesinmy
neck.
"Icanbever
yfastMbonambi
"shel
aughsandki
ss
earlobe.
"I
nt hatcasewhydon' tyoul etmef ixyouup"Ipul l
herbackandki [Link] inuestogiggl
e
andt akeshertopof f
.Herni ppl
esar ef i
rm asthey
pressonmychest .Irisef
ort heoccasi onandshe
i
mmedi at
[Link] opherwhenshet ri
edto
[Link] of acetheot [Link] ol
lows
wher eI'
ml eadi
ngandherassi nf [Link]
herf or
[Link] sdownandIpush
herchestdownbef orepull
[Link]
obeysandIpressherswoll
enwar
[Link]
ses
herfeetandherhandcl
osesar
oundthecover
.
"Youwantthi
s?"Iaskmyhandpressi
ngher
sensi
ti
[Link]
ngIcan'
thear
.
"Youwantthi
sThembeka?
"Iaskl
oudert
hist
ime
andsinkdeeper
.
"
Yes"sher
epl
ieshervoi
cet
rembl
ing.
"
Youwanti
thow?
"
"Fastandhar d"sherepl i
eshervoicefullof
[Link] ol
d.I t
'[Link]
keepspushi ngbackt omeasi fshedoesn'twant
anydel [Link] eachesherorgasm Islap
herasshar dandshef all
sf or
[Link]
andcont inueunti
li'
m doneandshecont i
nueto
moanmynameandherbodyshudder ingwiththe
aftershocks.
"
ThankyouMbonambi
"shespeakasIt
ryt
ocat
ch
mybreat
h.
"
Iloveyou"Ir
epl
yandki
ssherspi
ne.I
'
m never
l
etti
nghergo.
*
***
**
*
***
**

Thembeka.

I'
m exhaustedasIputmyshoesonandgr
abmy
[Link]
imeIwon'
t
minutesbeforeIneedt
ogotowork.
"Youwil
lyourcoffeeontheway"saysNqubekoasI
walkt
ot [Link]
dingatravelmugandI
am gr
atefulbecauseIneedi
t.
"[Link]
hinkIhaveital
lnow"Ihandhimthe
[Link] i
vingsother
eisnotuse
argui
ngaboutit.
Heopenst
hedoorandholdi
[Link]
koutand
st
opwhenIspotacaratt
hegate.
"
That
'
sTi
ko"saysNqubeko.
"
Whoi
sTi
ko"Iwai
tforhi
mtol
ockupandgi
veme
myhousekeys.
"Pr
otecti
on.I
'll
expl
aini
nthecar
"her
epli
esandmy
heartf
all
[Link]
'sbeenagoodmorni
ngbutcl
ear
lyi
t
won'tl
ast.
Ifol
lowhimt othecarandgeti [Link]
art
sdri
ving
andt hecaratt
hegat ealsomovesbutdoesn'
tgo
[Link] lwai
tti
llthegatecl
osesbef
orewe
dri
veawayandt hecarfoll
ows.
"SowhoisTi
ko?
"Iaskwhi
lel
ooki
ngatt
hecar
behi
ndus.
"SomeonenamedJacobt ri
edtocrossmeawhi l
e
[Link]
nedhim downandhegotpi [Link]
backintothecount
ryandunt i
lIknowthatheisnot
hereforsomepettyrevengeTikowil
lbewithyou
24/7"
Il
ookathi
m whenhesays24/
[Link]
'sal
otoft
ime.
"
24/
7?"
"[Link]
lwaitout
sidethetoil
etifyouneedtogo.
Hewi l
lwat
chyouevenatwor [Link] l
lstaywit
h
youinthehousewheni '
m [Link]
ilI
knowt hatJacobi
snotplanni
ng.
anythi
ng"he
expl
ainsandhi st
onesaysheisnotchangi
nghi
s
mind.
"
Sowhatam Isupposedt
odo?
"
"
Cont
inuewi
thyourdayasnormalasyoucan.
I
gnor
ehim"[Link]
i
gnor
eapersonaroundyou24/7?
"Whatdidyoudot
oJacob?
"Itmustbepr
ett
ybi
gfor
allt
hist
ohappen.
"
Iref
usedt
ohel
phim stealsometecht
hingshe
want
edtousei
ntheblackmarket
"
"Soyouthi
nkhewi
llhur
tmet
ohur
tyou?
".He
noddedandhel
dmyhand.
"Iwantyout
obesaf
eal
waysThembeka"headds
aft
eramoment.
"
[Link]
ainamanar
oundmeat
work?
"
"Pr
otecti
[Link]
alkedt oyourbossl
astni
ghtand
expl
ainedthesi
[Link]'
[Link]
i
gnorehim"ifonlyitwassoeasyasNqubekomade
i
tseem.
"
Andatni
ght
.Wher
edoeshesl
eep?
"
"
Ifi
'
m nott
herehewillsl
eepont
hecouch.I
fi'
m
t
heret
henI'
llt
akeover"
"
Ifeell
ikeIshouldbeprot
est
ingthi
sbutsomehowI
f
eelli
keit'
sjustusel
esstoar
gue"Il
ookoutsi
dethe
window.
"Iwantt obesur ethatyouar [Link]
willtakei nst
ruct
ionsfr
om youf rom t
imetot i
[Link]
willdriveunlessyoutellhim nottobutst
il
lifhe
sensesdangerpl easelethi
m driveandli
stento
him"hei nstr
uct.
"Youmakei
fsoundl
ikeyouwon'
tar
ound"Il
ookat
him.
"Iwi
llbebutobviouslyIcan'
tcomet oworkwith
you"thecarcomesi ntoasuddenstopand
[Link] yresand
somet hi
ngloudfol
[Link]'tremovehis
handovermeandIcan' tgetuptoseewhat'sgoi
ng
[Link] l
[Link]
li
ngpeople
tocallanambulanceandwomenscr eam.
"
Nqubeko"Icompl
ainandpushmysel
fup.
"Sorry"helet
'smegoandIsi tupst
rai
ght.I
t'
sacar
[Link] axi
.Thecari
swreckedbut
thetaxidoesn'tl
ookthatbadandpeopl
earebeing
helpedoutoft hetaxi
.
"
Ithi
nkt
hedr
iverl
ostcont
rol
"saysNqubeko.
Wecan'tconti
nuenowandwecan' tr
everse
becausether
eareothercarsbehi
[Link]
andNqubekoopenshi sdoor.
Ipul
loutmyphoneandt r
ytocal
lthepoli
[Link]'
t
seeanyonewithaphoneint
[Link]
ng
phot
osinstead.
Igetouttoowhilehol
[Link]
networkisabitweakinthi
[Link]
scut
[Link] work
coverage.
"
Nqubekocan'
tyoucal
lthepol
ice"IaskNqubeko.
Hepull
[Link]
s
eyesgowideandthenI'
m bei
ngpushedhard
agai
nstthecarj
ustassomethi
ngburstbehi
ndme.
Someoneyel lsandahandshovesmebacki ntothe
[Link] e
scream andmor egunsgoof [Link] astsfora
whilebeforeeveryt
hingisquiet
.Isl
owlyrai semy
headandIdon' [Link] al peopl
e
ont hegroundandt henapproachi
ngsirens.
"
Areyouokay?
"Themanopenst
hedoorandask.
[Link]
door
.Ipusht heot
hersi
deandwatchinhorr
oras
Nqubekoislayi
ngsosti
lli
nthepoolofbl
ood.
Chapt
er45

Thembeka

It
'sbeenthel ongestfourdaysofmylif
[Link]'
t
slept
.Theychasedmeawayt wicesayi
ngIneedt o
restbutIcan'trest
.NotwhenNqubekoi sstil
lint
he
comaandI 'm wait
ingforhi
mt [Link]'t
l
eavemer [Link] edoingso
muchbet ter.
"Ibr
oughtyousomef ood"saysNqubeko' smot her
handingmeal [Link]'
[Link] hungry.
Eati
ngistheonlythi
ngIam abletodosi ncethis
[Link]'
[Link] i
l
thesuncomesupandIhavet ocomebackher e.
"Thankyou"Iputmyfeetdownandopenthel
unch
[Link]
'ssampleandbeanswit
hbeefcur
ry.
"
Iwi
llst
aywit
hhim whi
leyougohomeforsome
r
est
"sheaddsbef
oreshepull
sachai
randsit
.
"I
'
mf i
[Link]
ookanapear l
ier"Il
[Link]'
twantt
ogo
[Link]'tsleepandIkeepseeinghi
m
l
ayingi
nthatpoolofbl
ood.
"Sl
eepingont hechairi
snotkindt
[Link]
needtor [Link]
ll
s.
Weshoul daskt hedoct
orforsomepil
ls"she
suggests.
"Theywon'twor
[Link]
hef
ir
stday.
Ididn'
tsl
eep"
"Maybetheywil
[Link]
ir
ed"she
pressesandIknowshewon'tgi
veup.
"I
'
llgoint
henexthour
"Irepl
yandstar
teat
ing
becauseIcanf
eelmystomachgrumbli
ng.

Whent hehourpassesIgetupandki ssNqubeko'

s
[Link]
sestocalli
f
anythi
nghappens.I 'm gr
atef
ulf
orhersupport
becauseitdoesf eell
ikei'
mlosi
ngmymi nd.
"
Ineedsomemi l
[Link]
mal
l?"IaskTi
koasweleavethehospi
tal
.
"
Nopr
obl
em"her
epl
ies.
Idon'tknowhowNqubekoknowst hismanbuthei s
[Link] ythingIaskandupdat e
meonever yt
hingthat
'shappeni [Link] twasan
[Link]
xpeoplediedincludingat axidr
iverand
thetaxiassociat
iongotinvolvedandhunt edJacob
andhi [Link]'
sovernowbutnotf orme.
Nqubekohasn' twokenupandt hedoctor
skeep
sayingwehavet owaitunti
lhewakesup.
Weheadtothemallandbuyt
hemil
kbecause
Nqubeko'
smotherl
oveshert
eawi
thmil
k.
Myphoneringsandit'
sPrett
[Link]
smeof t
en
si
ncethi
shappenedandevent houghnothi
ngshe
saysmakesmef eel
betterbutIappr
eci
atehercal
l.
"I
'
m outsi
[Link]
eyoui
n?"Sheasksaf
ter
greet
ing.
"I
'
m att
hemall
.I'
llbetherei
nfewmi
nut
es.I
fyou
don'
tmindwai
ti
ng"Ireply.
"Idon'
[Link]"sheendsthecal
[Link]
duse
somecompanyr [Link]
eisnowayIcould
sleepr
ightnowanyway.
Tikodr i
vesusbacktot
hehouseandwef i
ndPretty
wai t
[Link]
etheri
nandtel
lTikotost
aycl
[Link]'
t
relaxifIdon'
tseehi
mjustincasesomet
hing
happens.
"
Heygi
rl
"shehugsmet
ight
.
"
Hey"Ihugherbackbef
oreshegr
eetsTikowho
r
epl
iespol
it
elybef
oreheunl
ocksthehouse.
Wefoll
owhim andgost
rai
ghtt
otheki
tchenl
eavi
ng
Ti
kointhel
ounge.
"
Howi
shet
oday?
"Sheasksasshehel
psunpack
t
hef ewt
hingsIbought
.Sheal
sobr
oughtabot
tl
eof
wine.
"
[Link]
llwai
ti
ng"Ir
epl
yandt
akeout
t
hegl
[Link]
nk.
Sheopensthewineandpourt
hegl
assf
ormeand
oneforher
sel
f.
"Howaboutyou?Howareyoucoping?
"Shepull
s
outachai
randsit
.Il
eanagai
nstthefr
idgeandl
ook
ather
.
"If
earthatt
heywi l
lcal
lmeandsayIshoul dcome
[Link]'tPr
ett
[Link]"tearsfi
llmy
eyesandIdon'tbli
nkthem [Link]
ngdoesn't
helpbutnotcryi
ngalsodoesn'
thelp.I
tdoesn't
makemest ronger.
"Theywon't
.Hewi l
lpul
lthr
ough"herwordsdon'
t
givemecomf or
[Link]'tknowthatf
or
[Link]
ikeever
yoneelse.
"
I'
m goi
ngt
oresi
gn"
"
What
?Why?
"Shei
sshocked.
"
BecauseIhaven'
twor
kedPr
ett
[Link]'
tkeepon
taki
[Link]
'sfaceit
.I'
m notreadyforwor
k.
Notwi t
hNqubekost i
lli
nthatplace"myphone
start
sringi
[Link] hegl
assandgoanswerit
i
nt helounge.I
t'
sthetherapi
st'
sof f
ice.
"
Hel
lo"Ianswer
.
"
Hi.I
t'
s.
..
..
."
"IknowandI '
vebeenmeani ngt [Link]
reschedulemyappoi nt
mentagai n?"Ishouldsay
cancelbutIdon' thavethehearttosayIam not
comi [Link] escheduleitdoesn'
tsay
I'
m aqui t
terjustyet.
"
Act
ual
lyDrNgcobowoul
dli
ket
ospeakt
oyou"
I
'
m sur
pri
[Link]
dshewantt
otal
ktome?
"
Aboutwhat?"Iaskwonder
ingi
fsheison
Nqubeko'
spayrol
lbeyondt
hether
apy.
"I
'
llputyouthrough"shedoesn'
twaitf
ormeto
answerbeforeIhearthebeepandthensomeone
picksup.
"
MissKhumal
o"shesoundsl
ikesheknowsme.
"
Hi"
"I
sitpossi
blef
orust
omeet
?Forf
ewmi
nut
es"she
asks.
"Ri
ghtnow?"Idi
dn'
tknowthatther
api
stscannow
cal
landarr
angemeetingsbef
oreyouareapati
ent
.
"
[Link]
ghtnowi
fyouar
enotbusy"
"Okay"Ishoul
dsayIam busybutit'
stoolat
[Link]
askfortheaddressoraplaceI'
dli
ketomeetat.I
giveherthehomeaddr essandshesaysshewillbe
[Link]
landgobackto
Prett
y.
"Gi
rl
.[Link]"
Ipi
ckupmygl assandgulpdownt hewine
"[Link]
[Link]
pone
sheper sonal
lycomest oyou"Istareatheri
n
disbel
ief"[Link]
ellherthatyourmanisina
comaandyouwi l
lmakeanot herappoint
mentwhen
heisbet t
[Link]
otall
yunderstand"
"
Isn'
tthi
sli
keani
nvasi
onofpr
ivacy?
"
"Rel
[Link]
dandyouknowhowol dpeopl
ear
e.
Theyworryaboutusi
[Link]
ustwant
sto
makesurethatyouarenothi
dingawayorhaving
sui
cidalt
houghts"Pr
ett
yisal
lcalm andcol
lect
ed
aboutthi
s.
"
Andt
hewi
ne?Won'
tshet
hinki
'
m anal
cohol
ic?
"
"[Link] [Link]
thataglassofwinei
sgoodever ynowandt hen"
shepour sher
sel
fanotherglassandgulpitdowni n
onego" Look,
callmewhenshei [Link]'twant
tomakeyoubot huncomf ortabl
ebybeingaround"
Inodandwasht
hegl
asses.
"
Thembeka,
youwi
[Link]
llbeokay
t
oo"
"
Thanksgi
rl
"wehugandt
henshel
eaves.

*
***
**
*
***
**

DrNgcoboisnothowIimaginedher
.Shel
ooksli
ke
astyl
ishgr
andmotherwi
thoutthegr
eyhai
[Link]
s
dressedi
nbl uemat chi
ngskirtandshi
[Link]
s
shortandblackbutherf acedoessayi'
m oldand
I'
veseenalot .Weexchangegr eeti
ngandInotice
thatshedoesn'[Link]
atmeasi fshei sreadi
ngmymi nd.
"
Howar eyou?
"SheasksasIputdownhergl
assof
wat
er.
"I
'
[Link]
l,br
eat
hingbecausei
'
m st
il
lal
ive"Isi
t
downopposi
teher.
"Iam gl adtof i
nal l
[Link] poned
forthesecondt i
meIwasabi twor r
[Link]
didn'tcalltoconf ir
mt hismor ningIwasevenmor e
wor r
[Link] hatyouyoungst erstendtochange
yourmi ndsqui cklywheneveryouf eelabitstronger
wheni nfactthatst rengthisforyout oseekthehel p
youneed"hert onei skindandseemst omat chher
[Link] hingaboutherr emindsmeofmyown
grandmot [Link] [Link]
wereunhappyshehadt hefacethatmadeyouwant
tocur lupi nherl ap.
"
Myexhusbandi
[Link]
est
il
lwai
ti
ngf
or
hi
mtowakeup"It
ellhert
het
rut
h.
Shecl
oseshereyesf
oramomentandt
henl
ookat
me.
"That
'shect
[Link]
yimaginewhatyoumustbe
goingthr
[Link]?"
"
[Link] heri
satthehospi
[Link]
t
akeshift
[Link]'
tevengetsomesl
eepwhen
i
'
m here.I
'm soafr
aid"
"Thatyouwil
lgetacal
lthatsaysthewor
sthas
happened?"I
t'
sli
kesheisreadingmymind.
Inodandthenlookdownbecausemyeyesar
e
fi
ll
edwit
htears.
"
Ifhedi
esIdon'
tthi
[Link]"
"
Yousaidhei
syourexhusband"Il
ookupandshe
i
slooki
ngatme.
"Wewer emarri
[Link]
[Link] rangedmarr
iage"Idon't
giveheral
ldetai
[Link]
sisnotacounselingsessi
on.
"[Link]
ethedoct
orssayi
ngabout
him?"
"Helostsomuchbl [Link] l
etmissedhishear
t
butanotherwentthr [Link]
'sami r
acle
thathemadei tt
ot [Link] owai
t
forhimtowakeup"It rynottorepeattheexact
wordsast hedoctorsai dt
hem tome.
"I
t'
smustbeexhaust
ingandscar
y"shehasnoi
dea
howscar
ediam.
"
Sometimesifeell
ikeican'
tbr
eat
[Link]'
tsl
eep"i
wipet
hetear
si nmyeyes.
Sheopensherhandbagandpul
loutat
issue.
Myphoneringsj
ustasshehandst
het
issuest
ome.
I
t'
salandl
inesoihavet
oanswer.
"Excuseme"Ipickt
hephoneupfeel
ingmyheart
slamspainf
ull
yagainstmychest
.Shenodsandi
answerthecal
l.
"I
sthi
sMissKhumalo?MissThembekaKhumal
o"
asksawomanintheotherend.
"
Yest
hisi
sher
.Ist
hisaboutMrMbonambi
?"
"YesMa'
[Link]
ket
[Link]
youcometothehospi
talpl
ease"
"Pl
[Link]
nghappen?"Iask
desperat
ef oranynewsnowbutIdon'twanti
ttobe
death.
"
Ican'
tsayovert
hephone.I
'
m sor
ry"
"Okay"Iendthecall
andleanagai
nstthewal
lasmy
[Link]
heywantt oswi
tcht
he
machinesoff?Icannotl
[Link].
Chapt
er46

Thembeka

DrNgcobowant st
odrivemet othehospit
albutI
declinebecauseTi
koisdr ivi
ngandIdon'twanther
askingwhati st
herel
[Link]
promi setocomeseehereveni fi
t'
sjustt
otalk.I
willbutfornowIhavetof acethismoment .
"Ar
eyouokay?
"AskTi
kowhenwear
ri
vei
natt
he
hospi
tal
.
"
I'
m scar
ed"It
ryt
otakeadeepbr
eat
h.I
tdoesn'
t
work.
Henodsandwai tasIdofewmor
ebr
eat
hing
exer
cisesbutt
heydon'twor
k.
"
Let
'sgo"Iwal
kinandhef
oll
ows.
Icanseet henursel
ooki
ngatmeasshet al
ksto
[Link]
sheavybutIdr
agmyselftothe
recepti
[Link]
adyisonthephonebutshe
smilesatme.
Iwatchasshewri
tesont hepeaceofpaperand
pushitt
[Link]"Goin"
Istareati
tandthenlookathersoshecanconfi
rm
i
fsher eal
[Link]
inuet
o
tel
lthepersononthelineaboutt
heappoi
ntment
.
"Thankyou"Ismi
leandal
mostr
undownthe
[Link]
kofol
lowsaswebot
hhur
rydownthe
hall
.
Theguywel ef
ttowatchNqubekoandhi smot heris
notther
esowewal kinandhismotheristal
kingbut
[Link]
areatt
hebedandhi s
eyesarecl
osedbutthenasmi l
espreadinhi
sl ips.
"
Comecl
oser
"sayshi
smot
herasmyeyesst
art
l
eaki
ngagai
n.I
tst
hehappyt
ear
[Link]'
tmi
nd.
Heopenhiseyeswiderandthesmil
egr oweven
widerandthenheext
endahandtowar [Link]
k
upcloseandholdhi
sdryhandint
omi nebefore
l
ayingmyheaddownonhi sgoodshoul der
.
"I
'
vemi ssedyou"hewhi
sper
sbef
orer
est
inghi
s
chinonmyhead.
"
I'
[Link]
edme"I
whi
sperandtryt
owipet
hetearsonmyface.
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
dn'
[Link]
ookatyou"he
r
equest
sandIoblige.
I
'
m allt
ear
yandugl
ybutIdon'
tcar
[Link]
sawakeat
l
ast
.
"Youl
ookt i
[Link]'
tbeensl
eepi
ng"i
t'
snota
quest
[Link] oowell
.
"
Icoul
dn'
tsl
eep"
"I
'
m [Link] [Link]
oseI
wanttotellyousomething"hegentl
epul
lmeclose
unti
lhi
slipsareclosetomyear s.
"
Youl
ooksexyandIcan'
twai
ttocomehomef
uck
youagain"hewhi
spersandki
[Link]
etouta
giggl
eevenfor
getthatt
her
eisanel
derint
hisroom.
"
Imi
ssedt
hatl
aughmuchmor
e"headds.
Thedooropensandthedoct
[Link]
st
rai
ghtandtrynott
osmilel
ikeastupidgir
lwitha
cr
ush.
"
I'
m gl
adtoseeyousmil
ingMi
ssKhumalo"het
urns
t
oNqubeko"Shedi
dgiveusascar
eforabit
"
Il
[Link]
ight
.Ther
ewasat
imewhenIwas
sur
ethatIwasgoi
ngcrazy.
"
I'
m bet
ternow"Ir
epl
yandhol
dNqubeko'
shand.
"That'
[Link]
[Link]
complicat
ionswefear
edarenott
hereatal l
.Buthe
doesneedt ost
ayhereformor
emonit or
ing"
explai
nsthedoctor
.
"
Howl
ong?
"Heasks.
"[Link]
ng
alr
eady"sayshi
smotherhertonedi
sapprovi
ng.
"[Link] orfewmore
[Link]'
tfor
gett
hatyouaresti
llgoingtobei
n
[Link]
lonl
yletyougooncewear e
suret
hatyouarewel
lenoughtorecoverathome"
saystheDoct
or.
Nqubekoclosehi
seyesandsqueezemyhand.I
squeezei
tback.
"
Okayf
ine.I
'
llst
ay"her
epl
iesaf
teramoment
.
TheDoctorexcusehi
mselfaft
erwarningusabout
gi
vinghi
m enoughtimetorest
.Hismot heralso
l
eavewantingtocal
[Link] olay
myheadonNqubeko' sar
m andtellmyselfthathe
i
[Link] ome.
"I
tsst
il
lme"hesayswhenIt
ouchhi
sski
nagai
n
andagain.
"Thankyouforcomi
[Link]
ed"I
pressmyfaceonhishand.
"Ihear
dyoucr [Link]'
sallIcoul
dhear
whileIwaslayi
ngther
eunabletotellyoutocal
m
down"hecloseshiseyesandbreath.
"
Iam cal
m now"Ismil
eevent
houghIam cr
[Link]
wipet
hetearwi
thhist
humbandtouchmecheek.
"
Iloveyou"
"
Iloveyout
oo"Ir
epl
y.
Webot hlookatthedoorwheni [Link]
sur
priseit'
[Link]
omachwal ksinfi
rstand
shelooksreal
[Link] egnancylovesher.
WhenIl ookatNqubekohei salsolookingather
andthereisnoannoyanceonhi sface.
"
Hi"shegr
eet
sandsmi
lewar
mlyt
owar
dsNqubeko.
"
Hi"Ir
epl
ywhi
lehenods.
"
Ididn'
tmeantoi
nter
rupt
.Ij
ustt
hought
..
..
..
"
Nqubekocut
sheroff
.
"
It
'sf
ine"hespeakswhi
lel
ooki
ngather
.
"Howareyoufeel
ing?Itri
edtocomeseeyoubut
theysai
dfamil
yonly"shewalkscloserwhi
le
smili
ng"Butt
odaytheladysaidIcancomein"
"Thanksf
orcomi ng.I
'm goi
ngtobeokay"hesmiles
backandIcan'thelpbutfeelj
ealousasIwat
chthis.
Sheisgorgeousandsheuscar r
yinghi
sbaby.
"That
'
[Link]
[Link]
guyswoul
dliketoseet
hescan"shelooksatmeher
eyesshi
ningwi
thexci
[Link]
o
saynobuthedoestheopposit
eandsaysyes.
"It
'saboy"shesmil
[Link]
pullsoutt
hephotosandhandt
hem [Link]
them toNqubekowhostar
esatt
hem andsmi l
e.
"
[Link]
ythi
ngisgoi
ngwel
l?"Heasks
whi
lel
ookingatt
hephotowit
hsuchpr
ide.
"
Yesever
ythi
ngi
swel
l"shesmi
lesandcuddl
eher
t
ummy.
"
That
'
sgood"hedoesn'
ttakehi
seyesof
fthephot
o.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Faneledoesn'
tstayl ongbutherar
rivalseemst o
[Link] ri
estot al
kto
meaboutl i
feingener albutmyheartisnol onger
[Link] ookedatherbothersmeso
[Link] mostdi [Link]
hatexperience
makeshi m wantthewomanwhoi scar r
yinghi s
chi
[Link]
fhel
eavesmef
orher
?
"
Thembeka"hi
svoi
cesnapsmeoutofmyt
hought
s.
"
Sor
rywhat
?"Il
ookathi
m.
"
Youar
[Link]
'swr
ong?
"Heasks.
"
Not
hingi
'
mjustt
ir
ed"Il
ie.
"Sl
[Link]
ngt
ofi
t"het
ri
est
o
shi
ftbuti
t'
snoteasy.
"I
t'
sfine.I
'
llgohomeandsl
eep"Igetupbuthe
holdsmyhand.
"
Tal
[Link]
hingi
sup"
"I
t'
[Link]
keyou've
hadachangeofheart"Iguessit
'sasurpr
ise
quest
ionbecauseheletgoofmyhandandl ook
away.
"
YesIhave"her
epl
iesaf
teramoment
.
"
Youwantt
hebaby?
"Iask.
"
YesIwantt
hebaby"
"
Whatabouthi
smot
her
?"Iaskandst
areathi
[Link]
doesn'
[Link]
ooksawayandIcant
ellt
hat
i
tmeansyes.
Chapt
er47

Thembeka

Ican'
tbel
ievei
[Link]
terever
ythi
ngt
hatwe'
vegone
thr
oughnowNqubekowant stodothi
stome.
"
Soyoualmostdieandwakeupwantinganot
her
woman?"Iyel
lwhil
emyeyesarealr
eadytear
ing.
Hecannotbreakmyhear
tli
kethi
s.
"Idon'twanther
.Atleastnotthatway"herepl
ies
andpul lmebacktohi [Link]
headonhi sshoulder."I
t'
[Link]
forever"headdsbefor ehi
sarm goesaroundme.
SoI '
m cryi
ngfornothing.
"Sowhatdoest
hismean?"Iwi
pet
het
ear
sandsi
t
upsoIcanseehisf
ace.
"Youareri
ght
.Ial
mostdi
edThembekaandthat
chil
dinFanel
e'
swombwouldhavebeentheonl
y
thi
nglef
[Link]
careoft
hem"hecoughsandi t
'sar
eminderthathe
i
snotwellatall
.Icanseet
hepainonhisfaceashe
doesso.
"Ishoul
dletyougetsomer
est
"It
ryt
ogetupbuthe
holdsmyhand.
"Notyet"her
epl
iesbet
[Link]
ckupt
he
glassandbri
ngitcl
osetohi
sli
ps.
"Haveasi
p"hi
seyesf
ocusonmeashet
akesasi
p
andswall
ow.
"
Thanks"
Inodandputt
hegl
assdown.
"
SoIwantt ot
akecar
eofFanel
eandt [Link]
f
atherIhavet
odothi
s"hecont
inues.
"
[Link]?
"
"Whataboutyou?YouaremyQueenThembeka.
Faneleandthebabycomeaft
eryouMaKhumal o.
Don'tevendoubtt
hat
"hesoundsseri
[Link]
hen
agai
nNqubekocheatedonmef oryear
swhilehe
wasact i
ngli
keabusyman.
"Iseedoubti
nyoureyes"hespeakswhenIr
emai
n
quiet
.
"Youwil
lnevercheatonmeagai n?"[Link]
soundli
keastuckrecordbutit
'ssomet hi
ngthat'
s
i
[Link] ant
edtheseedsoi t'
spartl
yhis
faul
t.
"[Link]
lneverevercheatonyouagai
nThembeka.
Ipromise"
Inodandputmyphoneont hedrawernexttohim
befor
elayi
ngdownont hel
it
tl
espacenextt ohim.
Heshift
sgentleunt
ilIcanf
itandItr
ynott orestt
he
wholeweightofmyheadonhi sshoulder
.
"IthoughtIl
[Link]
houghtIwasgoi
ng
crazy"
"Youarenotmyl ove.I
'
vebeengivenanother
chancesoIhavet ouseitr
ight
.Dorightbyyouand
[Link]"
Idon'
trepl
yinsteadIcl
osemyeyesandtrynotto
seeFanelewit
hherbeauti
fulpr
egnancyi
nfrontof
me.
"Pl
easeMzi
kil
[Link]
hing"hebegshi
s
handgoi
ngupanddownmyar m.
"
Sosupporti
ngherwi
llmeanwhatexact
ly?
"Iask
wit
houtopeni
ngmyeyes.
"
Goi ngtothecheckupswi t
[Link]
ngherwith
t
heshoppi ngandcheckinguponherever ynowand
t
[Link] ttoget
her"hesuggestsandIcan
t
ellfrom hi
sbreat
hingthathewantsmet osayyes
I
'
lljoinin.
"LovingyouNqubekomeanshavi ngtot r
ustthat
youmeani twhenyousayyouwon' [Link]
rust
yousoyouwi lldothatwit
hher "IknowdeepdownI
don'twantittobel i
kethatbutIalsodon' twantto
thebet hi
rdwheeli nthi
[Link]
hast owatchNqubekohel pthemot herofhischil
d.
Peopl ewon'[Link], I'
l
lbethat
womanwhohasnochoi cebutr unaftertheman
becauseshef ear
sthatlef
talonetheywi llmake
anotherbaby.
"Whataboutyou?
"Heaskshi
shandnol
onger
brushi
ngmyar m.
"[Link]'
sallt
hatmatt
ers"Ir
epl
yandf eel
mybodygetcal m.I'
mt i
redandIhaven'
tbeen
sleepi
[Link].

*
***
**
*
***
**

Nqubeko

Icanfeelherbodygosoftt
hatshehasfal
len
asl
[Link]
ed.I
t'
sthefi
rstt
hingInot
iced
whenIsawher .
Thedooropensjusti
nti
measIt
rypul
lthesheet
overThembeka.
"
Shecan'
tsl
eepher
e"compl
ainst
henur
se.
"
Pleasel
ethersl
[Link]
sti
red"
Shewant
stocompl
ainbutstopswhenshenot
ice
thatI
'
mtr
yingt
ocoverherup.
"Letmedoit"shet
akesoverandpullt
hesheetover
[Link]
eelThembekashif
tscl
osertome.
"
Thankyou"
Thenursenodsandwal
kovert
omyl
eftsi
det
o
changethedr
ip.
"
Shemustbeexci
tedt
ohaveyouback"
"
I'
m happyt
obebackt
oher
"Ir
epl
y.
Shedoesn'
tsayanythingbutshedoesl
ookl
ikeshe
want
stosaysomet hing.
"
Whati
sit
?"Iasksoshecanspeakup.
"Nothi
ng.I
t'
sjustthati
t'
shighl
yunusualforaman
tolovehi
swomanl i
kethi
[Link] i
e.
Evenwhenyoul ovethem yousti
llf
earwhatyou
don't
"
Ireal
lydon'tknowhowt [Link]
edon
Thembekawhenshewasal oyal
[Link]
edtoher
repeatedl
ysoI '
m notf
arfr
om mostmen.
"It
'snotalwaysr
[Link]
'
vebeengivenasecond
chancesoIhavet otr
yanddoitr
ightthi
sti
me"
that'
sallIcomeupwithwit
houtr
eveali
ngmylif
eto
her
.
VusiandKhethelowalksinjustint
imet osaveme
fr
om furt
herconversat
[Link]
shesup
[Link]
ooksbetterthanIassumedbuthe
i
st hi
nnerthanIremember .
"
Heyman"hegr
eet
sandsi
tdown.
"
Ineedsomecof
fee"saysKhet
helobef
orehe
r
ushesout
.Hewantstogiveussomeprivacy.
Westayinsi
lencef
orfewmi
nut
esbef
orewebot
h
speakatt
hesametime.
"
Sor
[Link]
ir
st"Isayandhel
ooksawayf
ora
moment.
"
Iwasbei
ngst
upi
dandIshoul
dn'
thavedonei
t"
"Butyoudi [Link]
uslikethat?Youknowthatwear eopenabout
everythi
[Link] hi
ng?"I
shouldn'tyel
lbuti
'
m [Link].
"Idi
dn'[Link]
[Link]
ealwaysbusytryi
ngt
ofi
xyour
[Link]
ttr
apped"
"Andyouar
enotanymor
e?"Iaskandheshakehi
s
head.
"Mymotherwasar ealsurpr
[Link]
edandsaid
shehasbeenwaiti
ngf ormet ospeakupforyear
s.
Sheneverimagi
nedbur yi
ngmebef oreIcameout"
ther
eissadnessi
nhi stone.
"
Ihopeyouapol
ogi
zedf
orscar
ingher
"
"YesIdi
dnowshewant st
ofeedmebacktoshape
andkeepsaskingmewhenIam br
ingi
nghi
m
home"hesmilesbutt
hesadnessi
sther
e.
"Mzamowouldhavebeent
hehi
m youwer
e
bri
ngi
ng?
"Iaskandhenods.
"Hewasalwaystel
li
ngmet ostophi
[Link]
outsowecanenjoytherelati
onshi
[Link] dn'
t
[Link]
rustrat
edhim andnowhei s
gone"hewipest
hetearsinhiseyesandIbl i
nkmi ne
away.
"
Hewasar
ealsur
pri
[Link]"Iaddbi
tt
erl
y.
"Youalmostdi
[Link]
ecked"he
point
satThembeka.
"Icanstil
lhearhercri
es"i
twasgoingtotakeme
forevertogetovert
hem."Atonepointt
henurses
wer ethi
nkingofputt
inghert
obedbutshewoul dn'
t
[Link]
ghtNqubeko"
"
Iwil
l"Il
ookatherevent
houghIcanonlyseet
he
t
[Link]
vesthebestf
rom me
f
rom nowon.
"
AndJacobwr [Link]
yoneknows
t
hatyoudon'
tpoket hetaxii
ndust
ryandexpect
t
hem tot
akeitlayi
ngdown"hesaysandwebot h
l
augh.
"
ToobadIdidn'
tgetachancetocuthi
sthroat
mysel
f"Il
[Link]'
tknow
methatway.
"
It
'squi
[Link]
hel
osai
dso"
"I
t'
[Link]
ngona
vacati
[Link]
.Joinus.I
'mthi
nki
nga
crui
[Link]
ewi
llbeotherpeopl
ether
e"
Hel
aughsandIt
hinkwemi
ghtgetourVusiback.
"
Imi
[Link]
imet
orel
axandseet
hings"
"
Andgetsomet
her
apyVusi
"Iadvi
se.
"Mymot herevenwentasfarasconfir
mingthati
didbookanappoi nt
[Link]
[Link]'
thappen
again"hesmilesandismil
[Link]
'
ll
haveagayf ri
endbuti'
mf i
newithit
.We'vebeen
fr
iendsforyears.
"
[Link]
il
lneedyouar
[Link]
emybr
other
Vusi
"il
ookathim.
"
ThankNqubeko.I
tmeansal
ot.
..
."
Khet
hel
owal
ksi
nwi
tht
hreecof
fees.
"Thi
soneiswaybett
er"hehandsonetoVusiand
putsdowntheot
her"whensheisupshewil
llovei
t"
"
Shesnor
es"t
easesVusi
.
"
It
'ssexyt
[Link]
ovei
t"ir
epl
yandt
heyl
augh.
"
[Link]
inyThembeka"says
Khet
hel
olooki
ngather.
"
Andshecansl
eep"saysVusi
.
"
Shei
sti
red.I
t'
sbeenhect
ic"Ir
epl
y.
"
Sowear
eal
lgoi
ngonvacat
ion"asksVusi
.
"Buteveryonei
spayi
ngfort
hemselves"Irepl
yand
[Link] i
meswearest
upidlikethatbutwe
arefri
ends.
Thembekasuddenlysi
tsupbef
oresherunsout
cover
[Link]
hel
ofol
lowsher.
"
Andnow?
"AsksVusi
.
IhavenoideaandIdon'
trepl
yunt
ilKhet
hel
ocomes
backsayi
ngsheisviol
ent
lythr
owi
ngupi nt
hetoi
let
.
"What?"Iaskwhentheybothst
areatmeasi
fthey
expectmet ohaveanswer
s.
"
Maybeitsomethi
ngsheat e"saysVusibefor
e
l
ooki
ngatKhethel
owhol aughsandagr ee.I
ttakes
meamomentt oreal
isewhatt heymean.
"
Fuck"
Chapt
er48

Thembeka

I
toveraweekl
ater
.Nqubekoi
sbackhomebut
taki
ngt hingsslowl ybecausehei snot100℅wel l
buthecanmovear oundf r
eel [Link] mt omove
i
nwi t
hmesoIcant akecar eofhi m andl ethi s
mot [Link] dn'thidehisexci tement .
WhenIt oldhimI 'ver esignedhewasexci t
edand
saidhewi l
lhelpmegetanot herwhenIwant edt o
[Link] ngt ogobacksomedaybutf or
nowIwant edt of ocusont herapy, him andmy
family.I'
m seeingDoct orNgcoboi nami [Link]
NqubekowokeupIcal l
edherandt ol
dherhewas
[Link] fIwant edto
makeanappoi ntmentf orourf i
rstsessi [Link] d
yesandt hat'
stoday.I '
m wai ti
ngi nherr oom.I t'
sa
beaut i
fulandinvi tingr oom t hatdoesn' tlookl i
kean
offi
[Link] eisal ar gemar ooncouchandanot her
smal l
ercouchnextt oi t
.Acomf or
tablechai raway
from [Link] ar gepl antpoti nt hecor ner .A
balconysecur edbyagl assbuti tgivesyouacl ear
viewoft heDur banHar [Link] il
li
ngcabi net,
herdeskandt henbeaut if
ull argepai nti
ngswi th
diff
erentcolour [Link] oom i sinvitingandcal mi ng.
"Sorr
yaboutthat
"shewalksintakeherj
acketof
f
beforeshehangsitupbehi
ndthedoor.
"I
t'
[Link]'
twai
ti
ngf
ort
ool
ong"Ismi
leand
si
tupstrai
ght.
Shel
ooksatmeandsmi
leback.
"
Howar
eyoufeel
ing?"SheasksandIdon'
tthink
t
het
her
[Link]
nkit
'sagener
algreet
ing.
"I
'[Link].I
twas
real
lyscary"Ir
epl
yheari
ngmyvoi cetr
embl
efora
bit
.
"Heisdoi
ngwell
?"Shewal
ksar
oundhert
abl
eand
opensadrawer
.
"Yeshei
sdoingwaybet ter
.Butheisnotbackt
o
workyet
"Ireplyandmovef rom t
hel
argecouchI'
m
sit
ti
[Link]
ropposit
ehersowecan
l
ookateachot her.
"
That'
[Link]
eyouhappyt
ohavehi
m home?
"
Hereyesar
eonme.
Ifeelhotar
[Link]
sat her
apistsoIcan
tel
lheraboutNqubekoandnotfeelshythatshewil
l
t
hinki
'
m bei
ngawei
rdo.
"I
'
m ver
yexci
[Link]
imesIwakeupatnightand
checki
fhei
sr eal
lyt
her
[Link]
twi
llgoaway
someti
mes"
Shesmi l
esandsi [Link]
it
edown
i
nt henotebookbutshedoesn'[Link]'
t
beganenoughf orhertotakenotes.
"
You'
vebeent
oget
herf
oral
ongt
ime?
"
"Wewer emar r
[Link] oblemsandgot
divor
[Link] ol
dmehel oves
[Link] r
[Link] ri
ednowbutto
havearelati
onship"Iexpl
ainandwat chherf
ace
j
ustincasesheseesi tasst upi
dit
ybutshedoesn'
t
showanyt hi
ngbutawar m smil
e.
"
Becausei
twasanar
rangedmar
ri
agebef
ore?
"
"[Link]
[Link] '
m
olderandIcandeci
dewhatIwanti
narelat
ionshi
p.
Heagr eedandsai
dwewilldoi
tmyway"
"Yourwaybei
ng?"Sheasksandthisti
meshedoes
openanotebookandwritesomethi
ngdown.
"
Goondat
es,
havef
unandt
aket
hingssl
ow"
"Whenyouwer
emar r
iedi
twasdi
ff
erent
?"She
cont
inuest
owri
tedown.
"Yesitwas"Ir
eplyandl
etmyar
msrestonmylap.I
noti
cehereyesfoll
owthi
sandt
henshewri
te
somet hi
ngdown.
"
Howwasi
tdi
ff
erent
?"
Itakeadeepbreat
handexplaint
oherhowwewer e
l
iketwopeopleint
osomekindofagreementandwe
bothkeptourendoft
[Link]
eanedandmade
sureever
ythi
[Link] ovi
dedli
ke
ahusbandshould.
"Whatchangedt
hat
?"SheasksasIf
ini
sh
expl
aini
ng.
"Thewomanhewascheat i
ngwi thconf r
ont
edmei n
frontofpeopl
[Link]
edmeawi t
chandsaidI
hadbewi t
[Link]
heartbr
okenbecauseIwasthinkingwewer ebett
er
[Link] hosedayswewer etalki
ngmoreandI
l
ovedhi m"tear
sfil
lmyeyesandsheopenst he
drawerandpulloutaboxoftissues.
"Thankyou"It
aketwoandwipemyeyes"Tobe
honestwewereli
vingtwosepar
atel
ivesf
orsolong
sometimesIdi
dthinkhewascheati
ngbuttol
d
myselfhewastooavail
abl
eformesoIwasbei ng
ri
dicul
ous"
"
Tooavai
labl
ehow?
"
"Imeanhet r
avelledal otbutwheneverIcal l
edhe
camehomequi ckly.I
fhewasn' ttraveli
nghewas
[Link] ngshoppi ngfor
groceri
eswheneverwewer egett
ingl [Link]
waswr it
ingexamshewasver yhel pf
ularoundt he
houseandal l
owedmet ostudy.I
fi twasraini
nghe
drovemet [Link] lt
hosethingsI
thoughthewoul dn'tf
indtimetocheatbutIwas
wrong"Iwipemyeyesast hetearscont i
nueto
comehar der.
"I
fyouhadn'tmarri
edNqubekohowdoyout hi
nk
yourli
fewouldhaveturnedout
?"It
'saquesti
onI
neveraskedmyselfaft
erIwasmar r
[Link]
oreI
wasmar ri
edIthoughtabouti
talot
.
"
Ithi
nkIwoul
dhavef
oundaj
obi
nPl
[Link]
neda
l
ivi
ngandt henmovedtoJohannesbur gforbetter
oppor
tunit
ies"t
hat'
showt hingswer edoneback
[Link]'
tgetoutfastenoughyouwoul d
havebeenamot hersoonandt hengetmarriedif
youareluckyorendupbei ngsomeonewhost ays
athomeandwai tfort
hewor ki
ngfamilymember s
tovi
sit
.
"Butt
henyougotmar r
[Link]
teryouweremarr
ied
didyouwonderaboutwhatelsewasthere?
"
"Notreall
[Link] r
iedIwastol
dthatfr
om
nowonmyl if
ewil
[Link]
dhe
wil
ltellmewhathewant edandIhadtodo
everyt
[Link]
enandobeyhim al
lti
mes"
shenodsandwr it
eitdown.
"
Andwasi
tli
ket
hat
?"Sheasks
"Yesandno"shewrit
esdownandgi
vemea'
you
canconti
nuelook'
"YesbecauseIwaitedf
orhi
mt oleadmeto
everyt
[Link]
ddemandmuch"
"
[Link]
dhedemandabi
t?"
"Notreal
[Link]
hatheexpectedsex
andhisfoodcookedandhisshi
rt
[Link]
dall
that
"
"Whathappenedi
fyouhadn'
tdonewhatwas
expect
ed?"
"Hedidn'
tyel
[Link]
.IfIwastoobusywit
h
schoolworkhedidithi
mselforwentonwi t
hout
"
hereyesstayonmyf aceforabitbef
oreshesmil
es
andwr i
tei
tdown.
"Tel
lmeaboutgr
owi
[Link]
tli
ke?
"She
asks.
Ican'thel
pbutsmi
l
[Link]
owi
ngupmeansmy
grandmother
.
"Iwasr aisedbymygr [Link] he
sweet estwomanever .Shewaski ndandloving.I
neverknewmymot herbutshenevermakemef eel
l
ikeIdon' [Link] ovi
ngandIf elt
saf ewi thher"memor i
escomef l
oodingandIkeep
talkingaboutherunt i
lthephoner i
[Link]
opt al
king
andl [Link]
meisupandI '
vespentit
alltalkingaboutmygr andmother.
Shespeaksf
orasecondbef
oret
hedooropensand
Nqubekowal
ksin.
"
Nqubeko"Il
ookupi
nsur
pri
[Link]
efthi
m home.
"Hi"hegr
eettheDoctorbefor
esmi l
ingatme"I
waiti
ngfort
ool ongsoIthoughtIshoul
dsurpr
ise
you"hedoesn'tevensi
tdowni nst
eadhelooks
around.
"
MrMbonambi .I
t'
sni
cetomeetyou"saysDr
Ngcoboof
fer
ingahand.
Hedoesn'
thesi
tat
etoshakeherhand.
"WearedoneforthedayThembeka.I'
llhavemy
assi
stantconf
ir
m ournextappoi
ntment"shesmi
le
andIsmi l
[Link]
ovethi
swomanal r
eady.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Nqubeko
IexpectThembekat of r
eakoutthatIcameafterbut
sheseemscal [Link] rut
histhatIcamet o
[Link] hekindofpersonshe
i
sandal somakeherseet hati
'm asupport
ive
[Link]'
tri
ghtallmywr ongsbutfrom nowonI
wanttomaket hingsright.
"
Soyoucametofetchme?
"Sheasksaswel
eave
t
heDoct
or'
sof
fice.
"YesandaskedTikotot
[Link]
l
l
dri
vetoget
her"Ihol
dherhand.
"That'
[Link] [Link]
somei cecream"[Link]'thavea
hearttosaysheshouldtakeapregnancytest.I
havetowaititoutunt
ilsheseesither
self
.
"
Soyouonlywanti
cecream?"Iaskjustt
ofi
shout
i
fthecr
avi
ngshavegonepasticecr
eam.
"
Andsomecooki
es.I'
lldosomewor
kout
s
t
omorr
ow"shegi
ggles.
"
Butabi
tofwei
ghtonyouwi
l
lbej
ustf
ine"
"
Youj
ustwantmet
obef
[Link]'
tbe
smar
t"shehi
tmyshoul
derpl
ayf
ull
y.
Sher
eal
lyhasnoi
deaandIwon'
tbef
ir
stt
osayi
t.
"Okayf
[Link]'
sgogetsomejunkf
oodandgo
home"Iopenherdoorandclosei
twhenshei
s
sit
ti
ngcomf or
tabl
y.
"Admi
tit
.Youcamet
ocheckDrNgcobo"sheasks
asIgeti
n.
"
Togetyouandseet
[Link]
ooksf
ine"I
r
epl
ytrut
hful
ly.
"[Link]
grandmother
.Onlysheisstyl
ish"shel
aughs.
"
Youl
ikeher
?"
"Il
oveher"sher
epl
iesandsi
tbackbef
oresheput
s
herfeetup.
"
Becausei
t'
smycar
"Ipoi
nthert
inyf
eet
.
"
Yes"
[Link]'
tevenknowwhyi t
tookmet hi
slongtoseehowmuchIl oveher
.
"
Whyar
eyoul
ooki
ngatmel
iket
hat
?"Shel
ooksat
me.
"
BecauseIl
oveyou"
"Il
oveyoutoo"shel
ooksout
sidet
hewindowand
hereyesf
oll
owsamanwhoi ssell
ingt
omatoeson
thesi
deoftheroad.
"
Youwantt
hem?
"
"
Canwegetthem?Icoul
dmakesomesoupwhen
wegethome"
"Nopr obl
em"Ist
opthecarandthemancomes
closerbefor
eshebuyst
hreebagsoft
omatoes.
Themani st
hankf
ulandIcanseet
hatThembekai
s
touched.
"
Whati
sit
?"
"
Phil
iusedtosel
lveget
ableslikethisi
nPl [Link]
t
oldmesomedaysshewoul dbor rowtr
anspor t
moneybecauseshewouldn'tsellanyt
hing"
"
Isee"Ist
artt
hecar
.
"
I'
vebeenthi
nki
ngabouthel
pingthem r
ebui
ldhome.
Afi
veroomedhouseforusandtworoom outsi
de
bui
ldi
ngf
orDabul
a"
"[Link]
'
vebeent
hinki
ngsomet
hingsl
ight
ly
diff
erent
"
"
Dif
fer
enthow?
"
Iwantedt
hist
obeasurpr
isebutImi
ghtaswel
ltel
l
hersoshedoesn'
twor
ryt
oomuch.
"Likesendi ngDabul [Link] t
ti
meorf [Link] dsowel linschoolThembeka.
Abr ai
nliket hatneedstoexploret hi
[Link]
sur eheget si [Link] llt
akePhi l
iandt hekids
tocomest aywi t
hyouf [Link]'
twantt hem
alonet herepl us,nooffencebutyouf amilyisfullof
oppor [Link]'twantsomeoneabusi ngthem"
Iexpecthert
olaughbutIcanseethetear
sinher
[Link]
sissuesoon.
"
Youwantt
odot
hatf
ormyf
ami
ly?
"
"[Link] f
oodandblanketsisn'
tenough
[Link] acethatpeopl
e
[Link]
ogi veyourcousins
[Link] er
eadytomar rymewecan
l
eavethem wit
hasafehome"Ilookatherjustto
seei
[Link]'
tappeardi
sgustedby
themarri
agesuggest
[Link] ll
marrymeoutoflove.
"Thatmeansal
[Link]"shelaysher
headonmyshoulderandIputmyarm aroundher.
Iwonderwhenwillshest
artsuspect
ingpr
egnancy
becauseIwon'
tthefir
stt
osayso.
Chapt
er49

Thembeka.

"Okayi'
m gone"Iannouncet oNqubekoasPr ett
y's
carstopsatt [Link]
edmeoutf ordinner
withsomeofherf r
iendsandIsaidokaybecause
i
'vebeenint hehousewi thNqubekof ordays
alr
[Link] andt hesexisgreatbutIdoneed
someai r
.
"Don'
tyouneedmetocomewi
thyou?
"Heasksas
heappeari
nthepassage.
"[Link]
[Link] easedo
eat"iputonmyshoesandi gnoret heprotest
ing
l
ookonhi [Link] [Link]'
t
evengobuyt hebreadal [Link] sobored
buti'
lll
ethimfi
gurethatpar toutf orhi
msel f.
"
Andyouwon'
tdr
ink?
"heasks.
"[Link]
[Link] coholmakesmenauseaslat
ely.I
thi
nki'
mj ustgoingtostickt
ojui
ceandwaterfora
whil
e"thelastti
meIdr anksomewineIthr
ewup
everyt
[Link] lr
ubsmeof fthe
wrongway.
"Good.I
t'
smuchmor efuntoseduceyouwhil
eyou
aresober"hegri
nsandIl ookawaysoIam not
temptedtostr
iphim naked.I
fwehaveanymoresex
Imighthaveawhol eonmyback.
"
ByeNqubeko"Il
aughandwal
kout
.
Prett
yiswaiti
ngout si
det hecarasIwalkoutthe
[Link]
sdr essedinadeni mjumpsuitthatf
its
[Link] mplebluedressIfeel
l
ikei'
m notdressedwel lenough.
"
Thatl
ookwon'
twor
[Link]"sheyel
lsasmypace
star
ttoslowdown.I'mthi
nki
ngaboutmyown
denim dr
essthatcoul
dworkonthi
soccasi
on.
"
Icangochangequi
ckl
y"
"
Noyouwon'
[Link]
[Link]"
Goi
ngbackt ochangemeanshavi
ngtodealwith
Nqubekotryi
ngtostopmeandthendeal
ingwith
i
mpatientPret
tybecausewear
erunni
nglate.
"I
'
llbetheonetaki
ngt
hephot
ost
hen"Iunl
ockt
he
gateandgetout.
"
Don'
tbesi
ll
[Link]
ookgreat
"sher
epl
iesandgeti
n
t
hecar
.Ial
sodothesame.
"
Thanksf
ort
hisgi
rl
.It
'sbeenbor
ingt
ost
ayhome"
"AndIthoughtyouandyourmanenj
oydoi
ngt
his"
shelaughsandstartt
hecar.
"I
t'
sbeengreatbutIdoneedti
meawayf r
om
[Link]
lyarewegoing?
"I
openmybagandt akeoutmylipst
ick.
"
It
'sabi
rt
hdaypar
ty.I
t'
sgoi
ngt
obegr
eat
"
"
Who?
"
"[Link]'twor
kwithus
anymorebutI'm sureyouwil
lrememberherface
whenyouseeher .Don'
tworrytol
dheryouwere
[Link] tshyli
keyou"
"
I'
m notshy"Iar
gueandshel
aughs.
"Yeahandiam notl
efthanded"sher
oll
shereyes
andturndowntheradio.
"
Youar
elef
thanded?
"Il
ookatherhands.
"
Don'
ttel
lmeyou'
venevernot
iced"
"
NoIneverdi
d"
"[Link]
'snott
hepoi
[Link]
ntis,whenwe
getther
eIneedyoutoberel
axedandreadyforf
un.
That'
sall
"
"Iwi
llt
rymybest
"If
ini
shr
eappl
yingmyl
ipst
ickand
puti
tbacki
nmybag.

*
***
**
*
***
**
Thebi rthdayladybookedar [Link]
placel ooksgreatandiseesomef acesisawi nthe
l
astpar t
[Link]
[Link]
ty
managest ogetmet osi
tbetweenherandVuyo.
Thi smakesmehappybecauseVuyoi sfri
endl
yand
talkati
[Link] ar
tstel
li
ngmeabouther
relati
onshippr obl
emsr i
[Link] sthe
typet hatdoesn'tmindshari
ngherr el
ati
onship
dramabutIal sodon'tmindlist
[Link]
won' tbedoingt hesameaboutmyr el
ationshi
pwith
Nqubeko.
"Hi"[Link]
ht urnand
i
t'[Link] l
esatherwhi
leIturnthe
otherwayandignoreher
.
"CanIt
alkt
oyouThembeka?
"ShespeakswhenI
don'
tsayanyt
hing.
"
No"Ir
epl
ywi
thoutl
ooki
ngather
.
"Pl
[Link]
oexplai
n"shebegsand
[Link]
adi
eslooki
ngatus
alr
eady.
"
[Link]
everyouwantt
osayIdon'
twantt
ohear
i
t"Igetupandt
akemygl
asswi
thme.
"
Please"shegr
absmyhand.
"Isaidno!
!"Iyankmyhandawayandt hejui
cei
'
m
carryi
ngspillal
loverhershi
rtandshoes.
"
Ladi
espl
ease"thebi
rt
hdaygir
[Link]
musi
chasstoppedandever
yoneislooki
ngatus.
"
Ijustwantt
oexpl
ain"saysNombuso.
"
Itol
dyouIdon'
twantt
oheari
t"Iscr
eam ather
.
TheglassishalfemptyanywaysoIputi
tdownand
walktothetoil
[Link]
art
sagai
nandIcl
ose
thedoorbehindme.
Idon'
tneedt
odoanyt
hingsoIsi
tonthetoi
letseat
foramomentbef
oref
lushi
ngt
hetoi
letandt
hen
l
eave.
Theladi
esarebackint
heirseatsast hebir
thdaygirl
[Link]
ookar oundandspot
thr
[Link] l
ooksfami l
iarandIcant el
l
herecogni
sesmebecausehest aresatmef ora
moment .
"
Thi
sonei
sfr
om mybabyBonga"sayst
hel
adyas
sheopensasmal [Link]
esatthemanandI
rememberhowIknowhi [Link] othe
housef orsomebusi nesswi
[Link]
hinki
t
didn'
tgowel lbecauseNqubekowasleftl
ess
pleased.
Therei
ssomecheer i
ngast hel
adyholdsupacar
[Link] sveryexcitedas
shehurri
[Link] chastheykisslikewe
[Link]
lypullawayshe
walksbackintoherseatandpicksupanot herbox.
"Soyouwon'
tevengi
vemeachancet
oexpl
ain"
saysNombusobehi
ndme.
"Explainwhat?Howyoupr et
endedtobemyf ri
end
whileNqubekowasbusypayi ngyoubehindmy
back? "Iyel
loutloudforever
yonetohearsinceshe
keepspushi ngthisi
ssue.
"
AndIhat
emysel
ffordoi
ngi
t"sher
epl
ies.
"[Link]
"Iturnandfacef
orwar d.
Hopeful
lynowshewillt
akeahintandleaveital
one.
Ican'
tevenseePret
[Link] esheis.
Thebi
rt
hdaygi
rll
ooksl
essi
mpr
essedandIdon'
t
bl
[Link]
dbepi
ssedtooi
fsomeonewas
busyr
uini
ngmypart
yli
kethi
s.
"Youknowwhat?Bot
hofyougetout
"shest
andsup
andpointatmeandNombusobehi
ndme.
"
What
?"AsksNombuso.
"
[Link]
hgetout
!!
"shescr
eams.
Istanduptotr
yandarguemycasebutbef oreIcan
evenspeaksomeonegr absmyarm andpullme
[Link]
rsfallandmybagalsofal
ls
downbutIcan'tgr
abitbecausetheper
son
draggi
ngmeawayi snotgi vi
ngmeachancet odo
anythi
ng.
Ithappenssof [Link] ntIt hinki'
m ont he
floorbutthenagai nsomeonepul lsmyl egsupandI
thinki'
m beingcar ri
edout [Link] eareloud
screamsandt hensuddenl yIlandont hehardand
wetgr oundbef oresomet hingl andsonmyf ace.I
staydownf oramomentbef orei tdawnst omet hat
I'
vebeenki ckedoutandt hati t
'sr [Link] eg
hur t
sandt hereisanot herpainIf eelbuti'm not
sur ewhereexact l
yitis.
Myhandf eel
swhateverthathitmyf aceandi t
'smy
[Link] lmyselfandi'm wetanddi rt
[Link]
threwmei napoolofdi r
tywat [Link]
bagandt hephoneisnott [Link]
ton
[Link] letandit'sstil
[Link]
wristwatchsaysit'
saf t
[Link] he
[Link]
gar agedownt heroadsoIt akemyshoesof fand
wal kther
e.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Ther
eisataxit
her
[Link]
hinktheguycameforar
efi
ll
.
Hestar
esatmeasIapproach.I
'm adi
rt
yandI
smel
l.
"
AreyouokayMi
ss?
"heasksasIgetcl
oser
.
Ishakemyheadandthetearsst
art
sstreaming
[Link] oserandtr
iesto
askmequesti
onsbuti'
m sobbi
[Link]'
tknowif
i
t'
sthepainort
hehumi
li
ati
ont
hatmakesmecr
y
l
iket
his.
"
Haveadr
ink"someoneshovesapl
ast
iccuponmy
f
ace.
"I
t'
swater"theper
sonsaysandIhearsomeone
sayi
ngmyar misswoll
[Link]
li
ng
[Link]'tl
ett
hem callanambulance.I
needtocallNqubeko.
"Takeadeepbr
eat
handt
ryt
ospeak"sayst
het
axi
dri
ver.
Itr
yt odot hatbutitdoesn'
thelpatall
.Thelady
bri
ngsachai randordersmet ositdownandt ryto
calm [Link] tst
il
lforawhil
eandt henseeapen
i
nt helady'shandandasl i
pont [Link]
ndicate
forthem thatIneedt owrit
[Link] ves
mepi eceofpaperandapen.
Iwr i
[Link]
taxidriveroffer
stocallandhestandst hereahe
makesacal [Link] heotherend
ashepi [Link] eet
shi m andst ar
t
describingmeandsaysIcan' tspeaksot heydon'
t
knowifIwasrobbedorsomet
[Link]
whereweareandt hemangi
veshimthedirect
ions
befor
etheyendthecal
l.
"Heiscomi
[Link]
nthere"hesaysasher
est
s
hishandonmyshoul
der.
Theotherladyst
artstal
kingabouthowmany
robber
yvicti
mstheysomet i
messeewhi l
eworki
ng.
Hertwomal ecol
leaguesagreewithherandthet
axi
dri
versayshehasadaught ermyagesohedoesn' t
j
ustwal kawayfr
om someonei [Link]
l
ooksyoungt ohaveadaught ermyagebutIdon'
t
object
.
AcarstopsandPrett
ycomesr [Link]
cryi
ngandthemomentsheget stomeshet hr
ow
herarmsaroundmeandcont i
nuest ocr
[Link]'t
hugherbackandherarmispressingwher emyar m
i
sbr ui
sedbutIdon'
tpushheraway.
"I
'vebeenlooki
ngalloverf
[Link]
roadandaskingpeopleift
heysawyouandt hey
saidno.I
'vecal
ledt
hepol i
ce"sheexplai
nswhil
e
cryi
ng.
Anot
hercarst
opsandi
ttwopol
iceman.
"
Ical
l
[Link]
sisher
"saysPr
ett
ytot
hem.
"
AreyouokayMi
ss?
"Oneoft
hem asks.
Inodandwi pet
het [Link]'tlook
[Link] '
mi [Link]
hinkshe
couldbet el
li
ngthet r
[Link]
ainwhy
i
'm notsayinganything.
"I.
..
."It
rybutt
hewor dsfai
ltocomeout .Icl
osemy
eyesandseet hosemenast heydraggedme
outsideandcarri
edmel i
keiwasgar bagebefor
e
tossingmeont [Link]
[Link] hrewmeoutl ikethat
.
"Haveyoucall
edarel
ati
ve?"Thepol
icemanasks
andsomeoneexplai
nsthatwearewaiti
ngfort
he
personal
ready.
Nqubekofinal
lyar
[Link] eaches
meithrowmyar msar oundhim andwai
[Link]
ds
metightandIwincei [Link]
nkimayhave
l
andedonsomet hingt hathurtmyback.
"
Didsomeonehur
tyou?
"Heaskshi
seyesst
ari
ngat
me.
"Iwentforasmokeatthebackandwhenicame
backtheysaidThembekawaski ckedoutby
securi
[Link]
hinktheymanhandl
edherroughl
y"
expl
ainsPretty.
"Weneedtogot
othehospi
tal
"saysNqubekohi
s
voi
cesoundi
ngal
armed.
"
Iwantt
[Link]
ease"i
whi
sper
.
Henodsandhel psmet ot [Link]
tr
iestoshowsomei nterestbutNqubekobr ushes
him of
fbysayingwewi llcomeinf orfor
mal
complaini
[Link] sothankst hegarage
workersandthetaxidri
verwhocal [Link]
standther
eandwat chashewal kbacktot hecar
andgetin.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Wegethomei
nabl
i
[Link]
hedoorandgetout
.
Myanklehur
tswheniwalksoili
mptothehouse
andst
opsmef r
om wal
kingfur
theri
n.
"
Areyoui
npai
n?"
"
No.I
'
mjustcol
d"
Henodsandpul lt [Link]
throwsitonthefloorandwal ksbehi
[Link] s
fi
ngertouchthet enderspotonmybackandiwi nce.
Het ouchesanotherandiwi nceagai
[Link] so
checkmyar msandwal ksaroundtocheckmy
[Link] est
sbellowmybell
ybut ton
protect
ivel
yandil [Link]
wehadi nt
[Link] sobsessionwit
haskingme
whatiwantt oeatandmysuddendesi r
ef orice
cream.
"I
fyouarepregnantwecan'ttakethatr
[Link]
tohaveyoucheckout "hesaysandimmedi atel
yi
canfeelt
hepainonmyl [Link]
famil
iart
othepainifeltwhenimiscarr
iedthatday.
Chapt
er50
Thembeka

"[Link] [Link]
ati
onsMr
andMr sMbonambi "saystheDoct orasshehands
Nqubekot hephotosoft [Link]' tbother
correctingherplusNqubekoi ssti
llweari
nghis
weddi ngr i
[Link],
Iwillhave
toaskhi m abouti
twhenwegethome.
"
Andi
t'
sinar
ightpl
ace?
"Iask
"Yesit
'si
nar i
[Link]
terf
ewweekswewi llbe
abletoseeabett
[Link] t
'sst
il
lsmallbut
theheart
beati
sstrong"shesmilesandNqubeko
squeezesmyhand.
"Andwecanst i
llhavesex?"HeasksandtheDoct
or
doesn'
tseem embar r
assedli
keIam r
ightnow.
"[Link] ongassheiscomf ort
[Link]
tosay,sher eall
ydoesneedt orest
.Gett hebrui
ses
onherbackheal ed"shei
srightaboutthat.I
treal
ly
doeshur tl
ikeIbr okeaboneorsomet hing.
"
Andt
hesexwon'
tmovet
hebabyi
ntoawr
ong
[Link]
keatube?"Iaskandshedoesn'
tgi
veme
theridi
cul
ouslookthatNqubekoi
sgivi
ngmeri
ght
now.
"
Noi
twon'
t"
"
[Link]
astt
imeIal
mostdi
ed"
"Thi
st i
met
hebabyi
si nari
ghtpl
aceMr
s
Mbonambi"shesmi
lesandhandmesomemor
e
papers.
"Thi
[Link] hreadupjustto
youcanbepr eparedforthechangescomi ngyour
[Link] fyou
experi
encesomet hingdif
ferentdon'
tbescared"
"Whataboutthecr
avingsDoctor?Sheeatsalotof
dif
fer
entthi
ngfrom i
cecream tocooki
es"asks
Nqubeko.
"I
t'
[Link]
oal sohavefr
uit
sandvegetabl
es.
Drinkplentyofwat
[Link]
nisnat
uralduri
ng
[Link]'tbealar
medwhenyougai n
somewei ght
"
"
Butshei
snotal
lowedt
owor
koutbef
oret
hef
ir
st
t
hreemont
hsi
sover
?"AsksNqubeko.
"Iwouldn'tsaynotall
owedbutwedor ecommend
waitingforawhi l
ebeforeyoudosomegent l
e
wor [Link] hi
nghecti
cjuststret
ches,
goingf orashortwalkinthepar
k"shelooksather
notesandwr i
tesdownsomet hi
ng.
"ThankyouDoct
or"saysNqubekost
andi
ngup.I
alsogetupandt
akemyj acket
.
"Her
eisyourpr
escri
pti
[Link]
'sj
ustpainki
ll
ersand
don'
tworr
ytheyaresafeduri
ngpregnancy"
Nqubekot
akest
hepaperandwet
hankherone
moreti
mebefor
eweleave.

*
***
**
*
***
**

"Iam hungry"It
ellNqubekoaswewalktothe
parkinglot
.It
'sl
[Link]
talcaf
eter
ia
i
scl osed.
"Ther
eisKFCdowntheroad"hesuggest
sashe
opensthedoorf
orme.
"Idon'
tli
kechi
[Link]
hinkI
'
llhavepeanutbut
ter
sandwichandteawhenIgethome"Isitbackand
trynott
owincewhenmybackhur t
s.
"
Areyouokay?
"AsksNqubekol
ooki
ngatme.
"
I'
mfi
[Link]
hebr
uisesonmyback"
Hestar
esatmef
oramomentandt
henst
art
sthe
car
.
"Whatr
eall
yhappenedThembeka?"Iknowhehas
beendyi
ngtoaskmet hi
squesti
on.
Iclosemyeyesandt ellhi
m everythi
ngthat
[Link]
[Link]
allsand
[Link]
hinksomepeopl elaughedandI
am suresomet [Link] l
iat
ing.
"Andt
heyt
hrowyououtj
ustl
iket
hat
?"Heasksand
Inod.
"
WhataboutNombuso?
"
"
Idon'
[Link]
owmeout "Ievendoubt
t
heymanhandledheratall
.Itwasal
ljustme.
"
AndPr
ett
ywasn'
tther
e?"
"[Link]
[Link]'
l
leverf
indi
t
again"maybePhi
lihasbeencalli
ng.
"
Pret
[Link]
efti
tint
hehouse"
"[Link]
liandt
ellheraboutt
he
pregnancy"Isi
[Link] d
heknowt hatIam pr
egnantandnotsayanythingat
all
.
"
What
?"
"
Youknewandyoukeptqui
et"Ipokehi
sar
m wi
th
myfi
nger
.
"Idi
dn'
twantyout
oyel
latmenotwear
inga
condom"
"
Iwasn'tgoi
ngtoyell"helaughsandl
ooksatme
wit
hthefacethatsays'yeahri
ght'
"Okayfi
[Link]
ustati
nybi
[Link]
nganadul
t
sucks"Il
eanbackagai
n.
"
Whysayso?
"
"
Becauseoft
her
esponsi
bil
it
iesi
tcomeswi
[Link]
knowr awsexi sgoodbutrawsexmeans
[Link]
havingtosticktoprot
ect
ionbecauseyoudon'twant
tobepr egnant"henodsandremainsqui
etfora
moment .
"
Soar
eyoumadabouti
t?"Heasks
"
No.I
'
m [Link]
edbuthappy"
"
Iam happyt
oo"her
epl
ies.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Nqubeko

Iwat chThembekaassheeat [Link]

rel
ievedthatsheacceptedthepr
egnancysoeasily.
Iwasr eadyforwhatevershewasgoingtosendmy
[Link] shappy.
"
Don'
tyouwantsome?
"Shehol
dsupt
hepl
ate.I
guessIhavebeenst
ari
ngati
tforf
art
ool
ongso
shemightthi
nkIwantt
oshar
e.
"
No.I
twi
llgi
vemeahear
tbur
n"
Shenodsandcont i
[Link] o
thebedroom remember i
ngt hatwhent hecallcame
Iwasbusyhi dingtheskimpydr essesin
Thembeka'[Link] oputawayf i
ve
dressesbutnowIt hinkIneedt oret
hinkthi
[Link]
backthreeandt akeawaytwowhoar etheshortest.
"Whatareyoudoi
ng?
"Hervoi
cecomesbehi
ndme
andIfreeze.
Shit
,nowIneedtoexpl
ainandIcan'
tseet
heway
outofthi
sone.
"I
sthatmydress?
"sheasksandIqui
ckl
ytur
n
aroundandhi
dethedressbehi
ndme.
"
Noi
t'
snot
"Il
iebutIcant
ellshei
snotbuyi
ngi
t.
"
Letmesee"shehol
dsoutherhand.
"Okayf
[Link]"Iholdoutt
hedressesand
shedoesn'tevensmi
leasshestar
esatme.
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngwi
tht
hem?
"
"Iwasgoi
ngt [Link]
[Link] t
houtyoubendi
ng
overi
nthese"thatcameoutwrongIcanseeit"I
meantheyare..
..
."
"Don't
"sheyankst
hem andputt
hem backi
nthe
closet
.
"
Wecangoshoppi
ngf
orsomet
hingel
[Link]
hing
l
ongert
hant
hat
"
Shedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadshehangst
hem backt
o
thehanger
sandclosethedoor
.
"
Thembeka"
"I
'
m goingtobathandsl eep"sheannounceand
star
tsstr
ippingri
ftt
[Link] ppl
es
hardenfr
om beingreleasedfrom t
[Link]
bendsoverandandt akeherpant i
[Link]
shavedearli
erandshel ooksreal
lygood.
"CanIj oi
nyou?"Iaskandsheshootsmeawar ning
glance" i
'
m sorr
yaboutthecl
[Link]
beingamanbaby"nosanemanwoul djustrel
ax
knowi ngthathi
swomani swearingsomethingl
ike
[Link]
nedallf
iveearl
ierandbe
puni
shedf
orsomet
hingIdi
d.
Shedoesn' tr
[Link] chasshewal kstothe
bathroom andlockst hedoorloudenoughf ormeto
hearthatIam noti nvi
[Link]
iltheshower
start
srunningbef oremakingacal l
.
"I
t'
sthemi
ddl
eoft
heni
ghtNqubeko"compl
ains
Thuba.
"
[Link]
il
lhavedeal
ingswi
thBonga?
"I
i
gnorehi
sprot
est
.
"YesandIthoughtyousai
dyoudi
dn'
twanthi
m
anywherecloset
oyou"
"Isti
lldon'tbuthisgoonsmanhandledThembeka
earli
[Link] hestr
eetli
kegar
bage.I
f
that'
snotadi r
ectpokethenIdon'
tknowwhatiti
s"I
didn'
tt el
lThembekat hatIt
hinkBongadidt
haton
purposej [Link] hi
ngsto
wor r
yaboutr ightnow.
"Ihear
daboutt
[Link]
lf
ri
endwastherebutshe
doesn'
[Link]
'sbrut
[Link]
videoi
sonli
neal
ready"
"
Onl
ine?
"Il
owermyvoi
ce.
"[Link]
edit.I
tdoesn'
tshowherf
ace
butherthi
ghsandpant
iesdoshow"
"IguessBongai
sst
il
lmadt hatIt
urnedhi
m down"I
knewhewasacowar [Link]
m andJacobhaveno
ball
s.
"
[Link]
tThembekaokay?
"
"Sheisalit
tl
ebr uisedonherbackandl egsbutshe
i
sf i
[Link]
somef r
eshai r
"ifonlyIfol
[Link]
Iwasgivinghersomef r
eedom butIwaswr ong.
"Howcomeyoul
ethergo?Ar
eyounol
ongert
hat
prot
ect
ive?
"
"
IthoughtIwasbeingacal
m [Link]
imeIam
t
aggingalong"andI'
l
lbear
medli
kei'
m goingt
owar
.
"[Link]
m getawaywith
thi
[Link] hatThembekaisoffl
imi
t.I
f
shewasmygi rlIwouldbechoppi
nghimt opi
eces
aswespeak"hel aughs.
"
I'
m goi
ngt
ochophi
m al
ri
ght
.Youwai
tandsee"t
he
showerst
opsr
unni
ngmeani
ngshei
scomi
ngout
.
"
That
'
stheNqubekoIknow"
"Shar
pman.I'
lltr
ynottorui
nyouintheprocess"I
endthecal
lbeforeThembekaopensthedoor.
[Link]
ngmypants
goeventi
ghtert
hanbef [Link]
pi
ckupherbodyl ot
[Link] ustmyzi
p.
"Letmehelp"Ioff
erbutsheshakeherheadand
squeezethelot
iontoherpal
m befor
esheapplyi
t
overhernippl
es.
"
I'
m sor
ryThembeka"
"
It
'sfi
neNqubeko"sher
epl
iesandcont
inuet
oappl
y
t
heloti
ononherbody.
"Soar
ewecoolnow? "Iaskl
ookingatt
her
edmark
onherthi
gh.I
t'
sgoingtobeblackinf
ewdays.
Bongadoesn'
tknowmeatall.
"Yeswearecool
"shewalksovertot
hebedand
placeonel
egovert
hebedbef or
eshemassagesher
l
[Link]
owhardandadjustmyzipagai
n.
"
Doyoumi
ndchecki
ngi
fIhaveanot
herbr
uisei
n
myass? "shet
urnsar
oundandbendsdownj usta
l
itt
[Link]
sonmyf ace"Doyouseeit?OrI
shouldbenddownmor e"shedoesexact
lyt
hat
.
Icl
osemyeyesandtakeadeepbr
[Link]
doi
ngthisonpur
[Link]
ngmethaticanlook
butnotal
lowedt
otouch.
"Doihaveit
?Rightt
here"herhandappear
s
betweenherthi
ghsandtouchunderherbuttcheek.
"
[Link]'
t"icl
earmyt
hroatwhenmyvoi
cef
ail
s
me.
"That'
sgood"shepicksupt hel
oti
onandsqueezeit
[Link] chasshebendsovereven
furt
her.I
'
m hardandt ensebutidon'
ttouchherat
all
.Shedoesthisandf i
nishwhil
ei'
mj ustsi
tt
ing
there.
Whensheisdoneshewal ksovert
otheclosetand
comesbackdressedi
nsomet hi
ngthatl
eaves
not
hingt
otheimaginat
ion.
"
Pleasetur
nthel
ightsof
fwhenyouar
edone"she
i
nstruct
sandwal
kt ohersi
deoft
hebed.
"
Sowear
esl
eepi
ng?
"Iasknotbel
ievi
ngi
t.
"Youcanst
ayupbutIam sl
eepi
ng"shet
urnsher
sidel
ampoff.
"[Link]
hist
ome"I
begandshedoesn'
tsayanyt
hing.
Iwai
tforfewminut
esandthehearhergent
le
snor
[Link]
lenasl
eep.
[Link]
l
ifeinter
esti
ngevenifshedel
iversaharsh
[Link]
ore
l
eavingt hebedr
[Link] ngtopay.
Chapt
er51

Nqubeko

Mlulekii
searl
[Link]
sapprovalonhis
faceasheglancesonhiswatchbeforeshakeshis
head.I'
mf ewminutesl
atehewil
lbefineandit'
snot
l
ikeBongahassomewher etogo.
"Youarelat
e"hecompl
ainsasheput
soutt
he
cigar
ett
e.
"
Hel
lot
oyout
oo"Ir
epl
ywhi
leput
ti
ngmygununder
t
hej
acket
.
"Justcome"[Link]
inandcat
chupt
o
him" HowisThembeka?"Heasks
"
[Link]
ne"Ihopeshewi
llbecal
mer
whenIgetback.
"
Issheexci
tedaboutt
hepr
egnancy?
"
Ican'
thel
[Link]
eacti
onwasbettert
hanI
expect
ed."
Shelovesit
.Scaredabi
tbuthappy"
"[Link]
[Link]
ri
dicul
ouscravi
ngsandnevereversay' youare
biggert
hanbefore'[Link]
verysensi
ti
veduringpregnancy"headvises.
"
Iwon'
t"Idon'
tment
iont
hedr
amal
astni
ght
.
"
[Link]
eal
uckybast
ard"hel
aughs.
Iknowit
'st
[Link]
dhavet
oldmet
oget
l
ostbutshedidn'
t.
WewalkuptoBonga'
sapar
tment
.Hej
umpsabi
t
whenheseesMlul
eki
.
"
Sit
"hecommands.
"
Mlu"het
ri
est
olaughbutweal
lknowhei
sscar
ed.
"Si
t"r
epeatsMlubef
orehesit
sdownopposi
tehi
m.
Bonga'seyesgr
owevenlar
gerwhenMlul
ekipul
l
s
outaknifeandpl
aceitont
hetabl
e.
"[Link]
ustpl
ayi
ngwi
thher
"hi
s
voicei
sshaki
ng.
"
Justsi
tdown"saysMlulekist
il
lsoundi
ngcalm.I
wantt
olaughbutIdon'
[Link]'
twanttopisshim of
f.
[Link]
sosi
tont
hear
mrestandmake
thecal
l.
"
Isi
tdone?
"Iask.
"
Sur
[Link]
readyf
orwar
dedi
ttoyou"r
epl
iesTi
ko.
"
Thanksman"Iendthecal
landcheckt
he
[Link]
deoi
sther
e.
"Ihaveasurpr
isef
[Link]
oryourgi
rli
nfact
.
Shelovedit
"IpassthephonetoMlul
ekiwhopassit
t
oBonga.
Hepr essesplayandherscreamsar
[Link]
s
cursingbutthat'
sal
lshedidasmymancar ri
edher
offthecrowdedmal landdumpedheronthe
tr
ashcan.
"
Nqubeko.
..
..
."
"Don'
[Link]
hel i
[Link],
Thembekai soffl
imi
[Link]
meyoudosomeshi
t
l
ikethatI'
l
lkil
lyoumyself"Iwarn.
Hel
ooksatt
hevi
deoagai
nandIcanseet
heanger
i
nhi
seyes.
"Ihopewewon'tbehavi
ngt
hispet
tyl
it
tl
eproblems
[Link]
"says
Mluleki
.
"ButIwasj
ustpl
ayi
ngwi
thher
.Idi
dn'
tmeanany
harm"
Ml
ulekimanagest
ogetbetweenusbef
oreIhave
myhandsaroundhisneck.
"
Cooli
t"heyel
lsandpushmeback.
Bongagr
insbehi
ndMl
uleki
.Iwantt
owi
pet
hatgr
in
of
fhi
sface.
"
Okay"Imovebackandsi
tdown.
"[Link]
anythi
ngtoherI'l
lki
llyoubeforeNqubekodoes.I
f
youeventrytotouchonesi nglehai
ronherhead
youaredead"threat
ensMl uleki
.Thest
upidgri
nis
gonerepl
acedbyf [Link]'
swhyIkeepMl ul
eki
close.
"
Ihear
[Link]
"her
epl
ies.
Wel
aughanddon'
[Link]
ewai
ti
ngf
ort
hegi
rl
t
oar
ri
ve.
"Byt
hewayIheardthatt
hefootagewil
lbeonthe
[Link]
hat
'swideenoughforyou"Ipi
ckup
myphone.
"ButThembekawasrui
ningmygi
rl
'sbi
rt
hday
surpr
ise"hebar
ks.
"Andyouthoughtwhynothumi
li
ateheri
nfr
ontof
yourhoes?!
!"
"
Iwastr
yingt
[Link]
webot
hknowyoulovet
hem fei
[Link]
s
notexact
lyt
hetypeyoul
ove"agai
nMl
uleki
stops
mewhenIt r
ytostri
kehi
m.
"
Nqubeko"war
nsMl
ulekipushi
ngmeback.
"What
?DidIst
ri
keaner ve?Shei
sawimpywoman-
chi
ldwit
hnopersonal
it
yofherown"
"Shutup!
!"Itr
ytopushMl
ulekibuthei
sst
rongso
hedoesn'tbudge.
"Thetr
[Link]
edawi mpychildt
hatwil
l
nevergrowupnomat [Link]
waysbea
cryi
ngbabyandyoubei ngthefatherf
iguret
oher"
hecontinues.
Idon'
tgetwhyMl
ulekiwon'
tletmebeathi
m up.
"Ibetshehomer ightnowweepi ngbecauseshe
washumi l
[Link] dsheevensmel ll
ike
babypowder "Mlulekistopstryi
ngtostopmeand
punchhimi nthef [Link] odo
thesamebuthest opsme.
"
Hei
snotwor
thi
t"hewar
ns.
Bongaholdshi
rtunderhi
sbleedi
[Link]
doesn'
tsayanyt
hingatal
ltoMluleki
.
"
What
?Di
dhest
ri
keaner
ve?
"Imockhi
m.
Thedoorfl
yopenandthreel
adi
eswal ki
[Link]
st
opdeadont hei
rtr
[Link]
cr
yingonestopswhensheseesherboyfr
iend'
s
bl
eedingnose.
It
akemyphoneandsnapfewphotosforThembeka.
Shei
scover
edindi
rtandsmel
lsl
ikerott
ingfood.
"
Don'[Link]
l
imi
ts"warnsMl
ulekibef
orehepushesmef
orward.
"
Justf
uckof
f"her
epl
ies.
Mlul
ekil
aughsandwewal [Link]
etl
y
i
ntothepar
kingl
[Link] t
hinki
ngaboutwhatBonga
sai
daboutThembeka.
"[Link]
sextremelysensi
tiveand
cri
esalotbutyouknowwhyyoul [Link]'tl
et
boysli
keBongamakeyoudoubther "saysMl ul
eki
asifheisreadi
ngmyt houghts.
"Whati
fthi
sisnotsomet
hingt
hatt
her
apywi
llf
ix?
"I
ask
"
Whatdoyoumean?
"
Ileanagainstt
hecarandl ookatMl uleki"
We
suggestedtherapybecausewet houghtThembeka
criesalotsoshehassomeunr esolvedissues.
Whati ft
[Link] ft
hisi
s
thewayshei [Link] ti
vepersonby
nat ur
[Link] hecr
yingisjustthewayshei s"
"Butl
ett
inghergotother
apywon'tcauseanyhar
m
[Link]
t'
shernatur
ethenf
ine"hemakesit
soundsoeasy.
"Buti
fit'
shernaturet
heni'
m anassforlet
ti
ngher
dealwit
ht hiswhenshedoesn'
tneedit
.MaybeIjust
needtogetusedt oseei
nghercryaboutsmall
thi
[Link]
dallwomenwi l
lbeli
ke
[Link] l
dandconfi
dental
lthet
ime"
"Justgohomeandmakel ovetoyourwoman.I fshe
doesn'twanttoconti
nuewiththerapyi
twillbeher
[Link]
vethelif
eshewant s
[Link]
de"he
squeezemyshoul derandthenwal kof
ftohiscar.
Igetint
[Link]
ther
apysessi
oninanhour
.
*
***
**
*
***
**

Thembeka

TodayIwokeupsor ebutaf t
ertakingthemedsand
taki
ngahotbat hIbeganf eeli
ngbet t
ersoIcleaned,
didthel
aundrybeforeprepar i
ngf ormysession.I
am exci
tedtosharethenewswi t
[Link]
showpositi
vit
yIpickmypi nkandwhi ledr
essand
[Link]'twearaweavet oday
i
nsteadIcombmyhai rneat l
yandwearear ri
ngs.
Nqubekoarri
vesasIst andi nfrontofthemir
ror
l
ookingatref
lecti
[Link] opsandst areatmeand
thenasmilespreadonhi slips.
"Youl
[Link]
ovet
hedr
ess"hewal
ksf
urt
heri
n
andst
andsbehindme.
"Becausei
t'
sont
heknees"Ir
epl
yandhel
aughs.I
knowhi mt
oowel
l.
"Thatt
oobutitbr
ingsoutt
hesexi
nessonyou"he
kissmycheek.
"Thanksmylove.Youhavelessthan45minutest
o
getreadyori
'
ml eavingwi
thoutyou"It
rynott
o
giggl
ewhenheki ssesmyneck.
"
Aboutt
hat
.Canyousitdown"thepl
ayf
ulNqubeko
i
sgoneandrepl
acedbyaseri
ousNqubeko.
"What
'swrong?"[Link]
sthe
ott
omanandsi tdownwi t
hhiskneesoneachside
ofme."Youarelockingmein"Ipoi
nthi
slegs.
Hel aughsandpullmylegsupandthenputthem
overhisthi
ghs."Nqubeko"Icompl
ainbuthegets
upabi tandpullt
heottomanevencloserandt
hen
pullmet ohi
slap.
"
Bet
ter
?"
"No.I'
m notwear
inganypant
ies"Iwhi
sperbef
ore
putt
ingmyar msaroundhi
sneck.
"
Evenbet
ter
"hi
shandpul
lmydr
essup.
"St
opit
.Yousai
dwear
etal
king"Isl
aphi
shand
away.
"
It
'saboutt
[Link]
oknowThembeka.
Areyouokaywit
hi t
?"
"
That
'
sast
rangequest
[Link]
dsomet
hinghappen?
"
"[Link]
hinghappened.I'
mjustwonderi
[Link]
okaywit
hgoi ngther
eoryouaregoingbecausewe
suggest
edit"Icanseetheser
iousnessonhisface.
"Iam [Link]
nice"t
hisi smysecondsessi onsoIdon'tgetwhy
heistalkingasifIshouldstopgoing.
"
Soyouar
e200%okayaboutgoi
ng?
"
"
YesIam"
"That'
sallthatmat
tersmyl ove"hewrapshisarms
aroundmeandwhi sperinmyear" Icangetreadyi
n
twomi [Link]
her estoftheti
mef orsomethi
ng
mor eful
fi
lli
ng"
"
Forgeti
[Link] notsmel
li
ngsexduri
ngmyt
her
apy
Nqubeko"Itr
ytogetoutofhi
sgri
p.
"Youwon't
.I'
l
lper
sonal
lywi
peyouandi
'
llputona
condom soyouwon'
tbewetwit
hmycum"
"
Andyouwi
llmakemecomet
wice?
"
Hedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadheget supwithmestil
lon
hi
[Link]
et
outal
aughbecauseinthecomi ngmonthsthi
s
won'
tbepossibl
ewithouthi
m breaki
nghisback.
"
Iloveyou"hesaysasheeasemedownt
obed.
"
Iloveyout
oo"Ismi
leathi
m.
Chapt
er52

Thembeka

Iarr
iveatDrNgcobo' sofficeandf i
ndherhavi ngtea.
Sheisdr inki
ngFi veRosesandIcanseet hetag
hangingont hesideofthewhi teteapotont hetr
ay.
Shesmi lesandaskmei [Link]' t
hesit
ate,Isayyesandwat chasshepour stheteain
theextracupont [Link] ltakesmeback
yearagowhenmygr andmot herusedt ohaveher
eveningteaandal wayspourt helastcupf [Link]
wassomet hingIlookedf orwardtobutaf t
ershe
passedont heteapotwast hr
ownoutandt hey
neverboughtt
heFi
veRosest
eabagsagai
n.
It
akeasipandsmi
leasthef
eel
ingwar
msmyhear
t.
Shecont
inuest
osi
pherswhi
leIdri
nkmine.
"Youl
ookdif
fer
ent
"shespeakswhenIf
ini
sht
het
ea
andputdownthecup.
"I
'
m happy.I
'
m pregnant"Ican'
thel
pbutl
[Link]
surpr
isemebylaughingtoo
"
Congr
atul
ati
ons"sheaddsst
il
lsmi
li
ngwar
mly.
"[Link]
'vebeenhappy.
Eventhoughthehumi li
ati
onhappenedbutsti
llt
he
babyisfi
neandi t
'sinar i
ghtpl
acesoIam very
happy"Iexpl
ainandmyhandaut omati
cal
lygoesto
myst omach.
"Thehumi l
iat
ion?
"Sheasksasshewr
it
edownon
hernotepad.
"[Link] t
y.I
twasamess.
Theyevenpost [Link]
gotbruisedbuti'
mf i
[Link]
nghappenedtothe
baby"nowt hat'
sallt
hatmatter
s.
"
Thatmusthavebr
okeyourhear
t"shepul
lst
he
dr
awerandhandsmeanewboxoft
[Link]'
t
awar
ethatIam cr
yingnow.
"Thanks"It
aketwoandwipemyeyes" Iwas
heartbr
okenbutfi
ndi
ngoutthatt
hereisababyand
thatthebabyi
sfinemadeital
lbet
ter
"Iwipemore
tears.
"
Soyouar
enol
ongerhear
tbr
oken?
"
"
No.I
'
m happyaboutt
hebaby"
Shesmi
lesandwr
it
edownagai
n.
"
Yousai
dthebabyi
sinarightpl
[Link]
t
hatmean?
"Sheasksassheputsdownthepen.
"I
nt [Link]
edbefor
eandal mostdi
ed
soIhadt obesurethatt
hebabyisn'ti
natubeli
ke
before.I
t'
snotsoIam [Link]
'saboy"
"
Anypar
ti
cul
arr
easonwhyyouwi
shf
oraboy?
"
Itakeadeepbr eathandexpl
ainthataboymi ghtbe
strongerthanagi rl
.Hemightbeabletof i
ghtthe
unf ai
rnesswhenpeopl etr
ytooutsmar thi
[Link]
won' tbesubjectedtoarr
angedmar r
iagejustsothe
fami l
ycanmakeaqui [Link] hat
Nqubekomarr
iedmef ordiffer
entreasonsbutmy
f
amilysai
dyesforoner easononly,tomakemoney.
I
fthebabyisaboythenhewi l
lpi
ckhi sownbri
de.
Makehisownlif
eandliveitinhisownt er
ms.
Shenodsandwr
it
edownonhernot
epad.
"Woul
dyousayyourli
fewouldbetotal
lydif
fer
enti
f
youwerest
rongert
hanyouthinkyouare?"She
asks.
Ithi
nkaboutthi
[Link]
ongerI
wouldhavedonesomethingt
oavoidbeingmarri
ed
[Link]
ellhert
hatandshenodsall
owingmeto
conti
nue.
"Notjustbeingmarri
edbutalsogrowingup
alt
oget her
.Istr
uggl
edt omakefri
[Link]'t
braveenought oapproachanyonetobemyf r
iend.
Event hoseItal
kedtoatschooli
tdidn'tgo
anywher ebecauseIlackedt
hepowert otry"
"[Link]
endsyou'
vemadeasan
adult?"SheasksandIlaugh.
"
Sorr
[Link]
dn'
tmeantolaugh.I
'veonlymadeone
f
ri
endasanadul
[Link]
ngPhilibecauseshei
s
mycousinbutshei sl i
kebestfri
end/[Link]
Pret
tybefri
[Link]' tknowwhybutshei s
[Link]
endsIt houghtIhadbeforewer eon
Nqubeko'spayrol
lsot hefri
endshipwasf ake.I
twas
apartti
mej obforthem"
"
Hepai
dthem t
obeyourf
ri
ends?
"
"[Link]
ri
endshi
pdoesn'
tcount
"It
ake
anothert
issueandwipethenose.
"
Thatmusthavehur
twhenyouf
oundout
"
"[Link]'
swhyIwasn'tokaywi t
hPrett
yatfi
rst.I
thoughtNqubekopai [Link]'
[Link]
il
lI
don' tt
hinkwewil
lmovef rom fr
iendstobest
friends"Icomeclean.
"
Why?
"
"Becauseshet ookmet ot hatpartyandNombuso
wast [Link] sthef akefri
[Link]
kepthar assi
ngmeandt hesuddenl yIam being
thrownoutandshei [Link] notsayingshei s
twof acedbutobviousl
yshei sinthei
rcir
clesoi t
's
bestf ormetokeepheri nadi stanceit
'sf
[Link]
cruelIwasgoi ngtocutherof fbuti'
m notcruel.I'
m
j
ustgoi
ngt
okeepheri
nadi
stance"
"
Haveyout
alkedt
oPr
ett
yaboutt
his?
"
"Notyet
.Idon'
tthi
nki
t'
sanokayt
hingt
odo
anyway"
"Canyouexpl
ainwhyyouthi
nkso?
"Sheput
sdown
herpenandstaresatme.
"
Becausei
'
m notacr
uelper
son"
"Butvoici
ngyourconcer
nsisnotbeingcr
uel
especiall
ywhenitcomestofr
iendshi
p"
"Shewillthi
nki'm accusingherofsomethi
[Link]
ty
didnothingtohurtme.I fshehappenstobefri
ends
withpeoplewhoar efr
iendswithNombusoshe
doesn'
tdeser vepunishment"Shenodsandwr it
e
downmor eonhernot ebook.
"I
'
m doingokaywit
hjustNqubekoandmycousi
ns
asmycl osef
ri
ends"Iaddsoshedoesn'
tthi
nki
'
m
spinel
ess.
"
[Link]
lmeaboutNqubeko.I
sheexci
tedabout
t
hepregnancy?
"
"
Ver
yexci
[Link]
oreIevenknewandhe
wasscaredthatI
'l
lyel
lathi
mifhet
oldme"Il
augh
j
ustt
hinkingaboutthi
s.
"Sohei
slooki
ngf
orwar
dtobei
ngaf
atheranda
part
ner
?"
Inodandl
ookatt
het
ime.I
t'
sst
il
lear
ly.
"
Whataboutyou?Ar
eyoul
ooki
ngf
orwar
dtobei
ng
amot
her?"
"
[Link]
eisascar
edpar
tofmet
hough"
"
Whyso?
"
"
Becausebei
ngamot heri
sscar [Link]'t
t
alkandsayIneedthi
[Link] herI
wil
lhavet
ofi
gureitout
.It
hinkthatisscary"
"
Butf
oral
lmot
her
sit
'sl
iket
hat
.Scar
y"
"
WhatifIfai
l?Nott
hatIwi
shf
orf
ail
urebuti
'
m
wonder
ingyouknow"
Shesmi
lesandputdownherpen.
"
It
'snatur
alt
obescar [Link]
ough
t
[Link]'
tfai
l"hertonei
sassur
ing.
"
IhopeIdon'
[Link]
eadi
ng
mater
ial
s.I
'l
ldosomer eadi
ngandr
esear
chsoIam
r
eadyforeveryt
hing"
"Thembeka, youdon'tneedtoputpr essureon
yourselfaboutthat
.Youhavemont hst [Link]
ti
met hebabycomesyouwi l
[Link]
shouldn'tst
ressunti
lyounol ongerenjoyt hi
s
momentf ul
ly"shesmilesandIsmi l
ebackwhi l
e
brushingthebellyt
hat'sst
il
lfl
at.
Chapt
er53

Nqubeko

"
Doyouneedanyt
hingelse?
"Iaskaft
ercol
lect
ing
t
hedi
shesaft
erwefini
shedeati
ng.
"
[Link]
ustneedt
osl
eep"sher
epl
iesand
t
henyawn.
"
Got
obed.I'
l
ldot
hedi
shes"Ir
epl
ybef
oregoi
ngt
o
t
hel
oungewit
hmycof
fee.
"
Areyousure?"Shest
[Link]
ly
want
stosleepevenhereyesar
efullofsleep.
"
Yesi
'
m sur
[Link]
ove"Iputt
hecof
feedown.
"ThanksMbonambi .It
'[Link]
thatther
apycanbet hi
st i
ri
ng"shewalkstowards
meandpl antakissonmycheekaf terstandi
ngon
hertoesandmebendi ngdownabi tsoshedoesn't
strai
nhersel
ftoomuch.
"I
'
llcometuckyouinaminut
e"It
easeherasshe
conti
nuestothebedr
oom.
Iturndownt heTVandt urnontheout si
deli
ghts
beforecheckingi
falldoorsareclosedbefor
egoing
tochecki fshei
[Link] pri
seI
fi
ndhersl eepi
ngoverthecoverwi t
honeshoest i
ll
onherf oot.
"
Thembeka"Ical
loutthi
nkingshei
stryi
ngtot
ri
ck
meint
othi
nkingsheissleepi
[Link]
lIgeti
sasnore.
"Youcan'tbesl
eepi
ngalr
eady"Iwalkfur
theri
nand
sheissleepi
[Link]
hisslight
lyopenandshe
i
sseriouslysl
eepi
ng.
"
Thembeka"Igent
lewakeherup.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"shel
ooksal
armed.
"[Link]"Isliphershoe
[Link]
tjustabi tbef
orehereyesst art
droppingagain."
[Link] ft
"Iwakeheragai n
andevenof ferapushunt i
lsheissleepinginagood
positi
[Link] essomethingIdon'tget.
"
What
?"Iaskwhi
lepul
li
ngt
hecoverbeneat
hher
.
"
Goodni
ghtGogo"shespeaksagai
nandt
hist
ime
t
her
eisasmileonherface.
"
Thembeka"
Shedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadshestart
ssnor
ingagai
n.I
ki
sshercheekandchargeherphonebef
oregoi
ng
backt
othelounge.
Myphonestartr
ingi
ngj
ustasIwasaboutt
ocal
l
Ml
uleki
.It
'sSont
o.
"Yes"[Link]'
tcal
lunl
esst
her
eisan
emer gency.
"Wher
eareyou?TheKhumalo'
sareplanni
ngto
sendFanel
eheret
oreportt
hepregnancyand
demandlobol
aaswell
"sheiswhisper
ing.
"
Wher
edi
dyouhearaboutt
his?
"Ial
sol
owermy
voi
cebecauseIdon'
twantThembekat
oheart
his.
"Newsf l
[Link] ddi
dn'tknowI
am relat
edtoyousoshewasgossi pi
ngandIheard
from her
.Apparentl
ytheysayyouandThembeka
aredivorcedsoitmeansyoushouldmar r
yFanele.I
thoughtyouwerecomi [Link]
saidyoushouldcomef oracleansi
ngforthe
wounds"shef i
nall
ystopstal
king.
"Iam cominghomesoonbutIcan'tleave
Thembekaal oneandIcan'
ttakehertohercousi
ns
becauseshei sfr
agi
leri
ghtnow"Idon'twantt
osay
sheispregnant.I
t'
stoosoontotel
lpeople.
"
Thencomewi
thher
"shesuggest
s.
"
Sheisnotreadyyet"Ican'tmentiont
her
apytomy
f
amil
[Link]'twantthem tot hi
nkshei
sbrokenand
makeherfeeluncomfort
abl e.
"
Whatar
eyouguyshi
ding?
"
"Not
[Link]
eall
yscar
edhersoIneed
hert
or ecoverf
ull
y"t
hat'
spart
lyt
rueanyway.
"
YougetshotandThembekai
stheoneneedi
ng
recover
ing?Youreal
lydot
reatThembekal
ikeanew
bornbaby"shelaughs.
"
Shei
smybabydon'
tbej
eal
ousSi
si"Il
aught
oo.
"Sheisnotachil
[Link]
ltreatheral
right
.
Justcomewi t
hherandIthi
nkitwi
llhelpwit
hher
famil
[Link]
heyfi
ndherherewit
hyout heywil
lknow
thatFanel
ehasnochance"
"IknowbutIcannotsendhercousi nstothewolves.
IfIinsul
tthem theywillt
akeitoutonhercousins
[Link]' tneed
drama"Ineedt oar r
angef ort
hem tomovefir
stbutI
havet owaituntilt
heschoolyearisdonesothe
kidscanbet ransferr
edfrom t
heirol
dschooltonew
school.
"
Sowhatar
eyougoi
ngt
odo?
"Sheasks
"Don'tworr
yaboutit
.JustknowthatIam not
payinglobol
aforFanel
[Link]
hechil
d
butitwil
lendther
e"
"
Okaybr
[Link]
ustgi
vingyout
heheadsup"
"
ThankyousomuchSi
[Link]
eci
ateever
ythi
ng"
"[Link] [Link]"she
endsthecallandIam l
[Link]
eis
somethingwr ongwi
ththi
sf amil
[Link]
y
wouldpushf orsomet
hingthat'
sclear
lynot
happeni
ngi nsuchamanner .
IneedtopushforDabulatogeti
nandal sopushfor
thekidstogeti
ntothenewschool
sbef ore
uprooti
[Link] hei
rfamilyt
hatI
wil
lnotbeconned,notbythem.
Thecoff
eeImadewi t
hani ntent
iont
odrinki
sno
l
ongerappeti
zingsoIr i
nseitoutint
hesinkand
[Link]
l
eavethekit
chenspotlesssoIdot [Link]
ever
ythi
nginit'
splacebeforetur
ningdownthe
l
ight
s.
"
Nqubeko!
!!
!"Herscr
eamsf
il
lthehouse.
Irunt
othebedr
oom andfi
ndhersobbi
ngwhi
le
bendi
ngoverwi
thherhandonherst
omach.
"
[Link]
'swr
ong?
"
"
Therei
ssomet
hingwr
ongwi
thbaby"shecont
inue
t
ocry.
"Let'
sgetyout othehospi
talt
hen"It
ryt
ogetherto
standupstraightbutshedoesn'
twantt
[Link]
de
tocarryhertothelounge.
Fi
ndi
ngmycarkeystakemelongerbutImanaget
o
fi
ndt
hem andcar
ryhertot
hecar.

*
***
**
*
***
**
Wear rivet othehospi t
alinabl i
nkandt heyrushus
i
nbecauseThembekai shystericalnowevent he
nurseshaveahar dtimet ryi
ngt ofi
ndoutwhat 's
[Link] ngt hereissomet hingwr ong
[Link] orcemet owai tout si
dewhi le
thedoct or'
sdi sappeari nsidewi [Link]
hercriesf orawhi l
ebef oreitgoesqui [Link] he
fl
oorforamomentwhi lemyeyesar efi
xedatt he
[Link] astenoughandi fit'
ssomet hing
seri
ousl ywr ongt heywi l
lhelpusbef orewel oset he
[Link] ndst artsdr i
fti
ngtot hepossi bi
li
ti
esof
miscarr i
ageandIdon' twantt hattober [Link]
uswon' tbeabl etohandl eit
.
Thenur sedragsmet otherecepti
onareatofi
llup
thefor [Link]'twanttositdownandwr it
ethem
butIdosobecauseshei swatchingmel i
keahawk.
Ifi
llalldetai
lsandreturnthefor
mst oherbefore
[Link] sewal ksoutandavoids
l
[Link]' tevenchaseafterherasshe
hurri
esdownt hepassage.
Whenthedooropensagai
ntwodoct
orswal
kout
.I
st
andsti
llandwai
tfort
henews.
"
Shei
srest
[Link]
..
..
."oneDoct
orspeaks
"
Mbonambi
.Sowhatwaswr
ong?
"Ir
epl
yqui
ckl
y.
Theot
herdoct
ornodsandexcusehi
msel
fleavi
ng
mewit
htheother
.
"
Not
[Link]
alki
npr
ivat
e?"Heasks.
"
Isthebabyokay?
"Hesaidsheisrest
ing.I
sshe
t
ir
edafterl
osi
ngthebabyorther
eissomething
more.
"
Theyar
ebot
hfi
[Link]
lwe?
"
"
Okay"
If
oll
owhi
mtohi
sof
fi
ceandsi
tdownbef
orehe
evensaysIcansi
t.
"MrMbonambi
.Thebabyisf i
[Link]
salso
fi
[Link]
ewasneveranyt
hingtobealarmedabout
"
hesit
sdownandopenthedr awer.
"Butshesai
dther
eissomet
hingwr
ongwi
tht
he
baby"
"Wasshesl
eepi
ngwheni
thappened?
"Heasksand
Inod.
"
Soi
twasadr
eam?
"Iaskandhenods.
"Abaddream andwhenshewokeupshefel
tsome
pai
ninherstomachandassumeditwasa
miscar
ri
age"heexpl
ains.
"Idon'
tgetit
.Shewaswi
deawakewhenshewas
cryi
ng"Iargue
"
[Link]
i
sn'
tbl
eedi
[Link]
[Link]
ythingis
f
ineMrMbonambi"
Istar
eatt heDoctorbecauseIdon'
tunder
stand
whathei stal
[Link]
thi
sfreakedoutoverabaddr eam?
"Shemiscar
ri
edbefor
e?"HeaskandInod" Isee,Mr
Mbonambiyourwifewentthr
oughatraumatic
exper
iencewhenshelostt
[Link]...
..
."
"
Shei
sal
readyat
tendi
ngcounsel
ing"
"Whendi
dshest
art
?"Heaskwhi
lel
ooki
ngatsome
pamphl
ets.
"I
thasn'tbeenl
ongbutshehadanappoint
mentj
ust
earl
iert
[Link]
yexci
tedaboutit
"
"Isee.I'
lltalktoherwhenshei [Link] i
mes
whenaper songoest hr
oughsomet hingtraumatic
weseet hem f unct
ionwel landthinkeverythi
ngis
wel lwheni nf acti
t'
[Link] ustexperi
enced
i
sasympt om ofsomet hingveryser i
ousandshe
willneedal lthehelpshecanget "hehandsmet he
pamphl ets.
"
Iam suppor
ti
ve"
"That'
[Link] i
mespeoplet hi
nkt hingsli
ke
pregnancyandchildbirt
hareal
lnat uralsothey
tendtoletwomendealwi thi
[Link] '
snotr i
ght.
Sheneedst oknowt hatyouar
ei nthistogetherand
thatwhateverhappensyouarebot hinittogether"
"I
'
m verymuchinvol
ved"Iassurehi
mjusti
ncase
hethi
nksi'
mtakingafatchance.
"Iwasgoingtor ecommendt herapyforherMr
Mbonambi .Si
nceshei salreadyatt
endingoneIam
obli
gat
edbyl awt oinvolvehertherapist
"helooksat
measi fhethinksI'l
lrefusebutIwon' t
.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Ifinall
ygetachancet oseeThembekaaf t
eranhour
ofwai [Link]
lsleepingsoIpul lachairand
sitnextt oher.I'
m confusedbecauseshewasdoi ng
okayear l
ierwhenshewentt [Link] i
red
andsl eepybutshewasf [Link] dthepanic
comef rom now?Why?I si tt
hepuni shmentthatI
wasn' ttherethatday?It houghtwewer epastall
thatbutnowi tseemsl i
kewear enot .Iaskmyself
allthesequest i
onsbutIgetnoanswer s.I
sthi
s
whatThembekai sallabout ?Emotionaland
sensitive?Doest hi
smeanever yt
hingshegoes
thr
oughwil
lleavealast
ingef
fectonher?Doesthi
s
meanallt
het ear
sI'
vemadehercr ywi
llsomeday
comebacktohauntme.
Chapt
er54

Thembeka

ExpectNqubekot oyel latmef orcausi

ngt hedr ama
buthedoesn' tdot [Link] orexplai
nst hatI
wasj usthavingnor malcr ampsandIt houghti twas
asignofsomet hingbei ngwr ongwiththebaby.I
keepexpect i
ngt hem tot ellmeIwasover reacting
butt hatdoesn'[Link] hatit
'sbecauseof
thetr aumaticexper i
enceIwentt hr
oughwhenIl ost
thebabyt hat'
swhyIpani cked.I
tmakesmef eel
bettert hanIam notacaset heyhaveneverhear dof
befor e.
Nqubekothanksthem andhelpmewithmyshoes
befor
ewebot hleavet
hewar dandsi
gnmyrelease
[Link]
lytot
hecar.
"I
'
m sorr
yforever
ythi
ng"Ispeakwhenheget
sin
andstar
tst
hecar.
"Ther
eisnothingt
obesorr
yaboutThembeka"he
doesn'
tevenlookatme.
"
ButIembar
rassedusbot
h"
"Youdidn'tembarr
[Link]
happenedwasbeyondyourcont rolsodon't
apologi
ze"Ilookoutsidethewindowandf eelt
he
tear
sbur nmyeyes.I fit
'snot
hingthenwhydoeshe
l
ooksoangr y.
"Doyouwantbr
eakf
ast?
"Heasksaf
teramoment
.I
shakemyheadandwipethet
ear
swithmyot
her
hand.
"
Areyouinpai
nagai
n?"Heaskashesl
owsdown
t
hecar.
"
No"Ir
epl
yandwi
pemyeyeshar
derbuti
t'
snouse.
"St
[Link]"hepul
lmyhands
awayfr
om myf ace"Breat
handt ryt
ocalm down"
wearedrivi
[Link] skeeppassi
ngus
whil
eotherdri
versaddani nsul
tast
heydrivepast
.
"[Link]
eep"I
suggestandt
rynottobl
inksothet
earswoul
dstop
str
eamingdownmycheeks.
"I
t'
sbeenal
ongni
ght
"hesmi
lesandst
opst
hecar
onthesi
deoft
her
oad.
"
Whyar
ewest
oppi
ng?
"
"Whatdi
dyoudream aboutl
astni
ght
?"Heasksas
hetakemyhandstohis.
"Theat
[Link] r
yingmeout si
de.I
twas
soscar
yandsor eal
"Itrynottot r
embleast he
memoryoft hedream andther eal
itycameback.
"That
'
swhyyouwokeupscr
eami
ng?
"Hedoesn'
tlet
goofmyhands.
"ThenIf
eltt
[Link]
happeni
ngagain"Idon'
taddthatIthoughthewas
gonebecauseIwasalone.
"
[Link]
dyouthi
nkIwasn'
thome
whenyouwokeup?"HeasksandIl
ookdown
f
eeli
ngembarr
assed.
"
YesIdi
dthi
[Link]
houghtIwasal
one"
Ihearhi
m exhal
ebef
orehel
et'
sgoofmyhands.
"Ihadabaddream [Link] i
rstitwaslikeI
waswat chi
ngthesekidschaseafterthisyounggir
l.
Iwasyelli
ngatthem andtryi
ngtost [Link]
Ifi
nall
ymanagedt henthosepeoplest ar
ted
grabbi
[Link] ed.I
tfeltli
kethatday
[Link] y"
"
It
'sokaymyl
ove"hewr
aphi
sar
msar
oundme.
Wesi
tther
equiet
lyunt
ilmyt
ear
sst
opf
lowi
ngand
t
henweconti
nuehome.

******
******

Imakeussomecer ealandteabeforewebothgot o
[Link] notsl
eepybutIcant el
lthatNqubekois
ti
redsowecuddl [Link] feel
ingali
tt
lehornybut
Nqubekoisn'
treadingbetweenthelinest
[Link]
whenIputmyl egoverhi shedoesn'tdoanyt
hing.
"
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgohomef
orabi
t"hesuggesthi
s
eyesbot
hcl
osed.
"Why?
"Idon'
twanttof
acemyfamil
yaboutFanel
e
andhowIshoul
dstepasi
def
orthem.
"[Link]
withme"heopenoneeyeandfi
ndmest ar
ingat
him.
"Why?Whatwi
llIsayt
oyourparent
s?"It
ryt
ositup
buthest
opsmeandpul lmebackdowntobed.
"Aboutwhat
?Youaremygi
rl
fr
iendandyouar
e
visi
ti
ng.I
twi
llbegood"
"
ButIwasyourwi
feandthengotdi
vor
ced"he
l
aughsandki
ssmyforehead.
"Nowyouar emygi
rl
fri
[Link]'
[Link]
hink
beingaroundmymotherwil
[Link]
goodnightgr
andmal
[Link]
emember ?"
"Idon'
[Link]
hinki
ngaboutherbefor
eI
slept
.Inther
apyweweretalki
ngabouther
"itmade
memi ssher.
"Thencomewit
[Link] heri
snotyour
grandmot
herbutIknowshel
ovesyouandwoul
d
behappyt
oseeyou"hebegs.
"
Howl
ongar
ewegoi
ngt
ost
ay?
"
"
Adayort
[Link]'
tst
ayl
ong"
"
Okayfi
ne"heopenbot
heyesandsmi l
e"Thankyou
MaKhumalo"t
henhest
artt
ickl
[Link]
aughand
t
ryt
ogetaway.
Myphonest
opsal
lacti
vit
iesasNqubekor
eachf
or
i
tandhandi
ttome.I
t'
sPhi l
i.
"
Cuz"
"
[Link]
eyouokay?
"Shesoundsl
ikeshei
s
r
unni
ng.
"
Yesi
'
mfi
[Link]?What
'swr
ong?
"
"Not
hingiswrong.I
t'
swi
ndyandi
'
mrushi
nghome"
shelaughs.
"Ohokay.I'
mf i
netoo"Idon'
ttel
lheraboutt
he
dramalastnight
.
"Imi
[Link] aboutyoul
astnight
.
[Link] r
l"she
l
aughs.
"Maybewearehavingagi
rl"Il
aught
ooandIcan
seeNqubekosmil
ingabit
.
"Iam sohappyf
[Link]
eyoucomi
ng
home? "
"Nqubekowantsustovisi
thisfami
[Link]
nk
wewi l
lmakeitonet
rip"Icanseehi
m protest
sil
ent
ly.
"That
'[Link]
tasecr
etunt
ilyou
star
ttoshow"sheadvi
ses.
"
Iwi
llgi
rl
.I'
m al
it
tl
escar
edyouknow"
"Becauseofthepr
eviousmiscar
ri
age?
"Phi
lii
s
smar t
.That
'swhyIlovetal
kingt
oher.
"
[Link]'
twantt
oloset
hisbabyCuz"
"Andyouwon't
.Themiscarr
iagewasn'tyourfaul
t
[Link]'
tstr
essyoursel
ftoomuchabouti t.
Andtalkt
oyourther
api
staboutyourfears"she
advi
ses.
"
Iwi
ll
.Sodoyouneedanyt
hingwhenIcomeover
?"
"[Link] t
houtus
needinganyt
[Link]"
shel
aughs.
"
Okayf
ine.I
'
llaskCel
iwei
fsheneedsanyt
hing"I
l
aught
oo.
"Don'
tgetmest art
edonCel iwe.I
'
m planningt o
sendherforsomecl assesatthecli
[Link] s
star
ti
ngtolookinthemi rr
orandI'vebeent el
li
ngher
sheisbeauti
fulandthatIlovehersoshedoesn' t
hearthi
sfrom someboywi t
hdarkmot ives"sheis
nolongerl
aughing.
"
Sot
hecl
ini
cwi
llhel
phow?
"
"Thenur setheregi
vethem cl
assesandinvi
te
teenagemot herstotal
kaboutwhatitmeanstobea
parentwhi l
[Link]'
sagoodprogram andwe
aspar entsalsoaddwithadvi
[Link]
communi cat
ionchannelsst
aytoavoidt
henasty
surpri
ses"
"It
hinkt hat
'
sagoodi [Link]
andal soall
owhert obeaki dPhil
[Link]'twant
herfalli
ngpregnantbutweal sodon'twanther
missingoutofgr owingbecauseofthis"
"
Iknowgi
rl
.I'
l
lbecar
eful
.Justcomevi
sitsowecan
st
ayupal
lni
ghtandl
augh"
"
I'
m comi
[Link]
ssyouguys"
"
[Link]'
twai
t"shegi
ggl
eandIl
aught
oo.
Nqubekoal
sosi
tsupandwr
apshi
sar
msar
ound
me.
"HiPhi
li
.ByePhi
liwewi
llcal
lyoul
ater
"hespeaks
onmyear .
"
Byeguys"r
epl
iesPhi
libef
oresheendst
hecal
l.
"Thatwasrude"Iputthephonedownandt
ryt
oget
outofNqubeko'sgri
p.
"
Whereareyougoing.I
'
m notdonewi
thyouyet
"he
l
aughsandpullmebacktohim.
"
Arewegoi
ngt
ohavesexnow?
"Iaskwhi
let
ryi
ng
t
otakemyt
opoff
.
"
Ilovet
hispr
egnancy"her
aisehi
seyebr
owand
l
augh.
"
Ilovei
ttoo"Iundohi
sbut
tonsi
nst
ead.
*
****
*
*
****
*
Nqubeko

Iwakeupgent l
eandmakesur enottowake
Thembekaaf t
erwebot hdozedoffaft
erthesex.
Sheseem tobesleepingcomfort
ablesoIpul la
bl
anketoverherandt akemyphonet othelounge.
Thefi
rstcalli
sdir
ectedtomymot [Link]
aft
ert
hef i
rstri
ng.
"
Areyousi
tt
ingnextt
othephone?
"It
easeher
.
"[Link]
Thembekaokay?Ihadast r
angedream abouther
l
astnight"t
[Link] her
doesn'
tjusttal
kaboutdr
eamsfornoreason.
"
Whatwasi
tabout
?Thedr
eam?
"
"Shewascarryi
ngthi
slar
gebasketoff rui
[Link]
low
[Link]"her
tonesisl
oadedwit
hawar ning.
"
Maybeyouwer
ethi
nki
ngaboutherbef
oreyou
wentt
obed"
"Idoubti
[Link]
ryi
ngafrui
tbasketmeansshe
couldbepregnant
.Ihopeyouareusingt
herubber
s
whenyou. .
."
"
Mahpl
ease"Ist
opherbef
oreshegoest
oof
ar.
"What?Youmaybebeol
dbutyouar
enotol
d
enoughformeto.
..
."
"[Link] obringThembekaoverforavisi
[Link]
mygi rl
fr
[Link]
amilywanttosend
Faneletheretodemandawayf orwardbutIam not
mar r
yingFanele.I
t '
sThembekaonly"Icanhearher
breathi
ngandshesoundcal [Link] herl
oves
[Link] imesIdothi
nkgivenachoiceshe
wouldpickheroverme.
"Thatwoul
dbegr eat
.Idon'
twantyoutost
ri
ngher
[Link]
hdoneedto
makeadecision"
"YouknowhowIf eelabouther
.It
'sonl
ymatterof
ti
mebef or
eshesaysyesandbecomemywi fe
[Link]'
[Link]
natural
ly"
"That'
showit
'[Link]
eatherwell
.
Sheneedstoknowthatyouarehersafepl
ace"she
advises.
"Iam Mah.I
'
vebeenwonder
[Link]
elli
f
someonehasacall
ing?
"
"
I'
m notsur
[Link]?Doyouexper
iencewei
rd
t
hings?
"Sheaskssoundi
ngal
armed.
"
No.I
'
mjustwonder
ing"
"
Nqubeko"
"Thembekahadani ghtmarelastnight
.Shewokeup
hysteri
calandwedroveallthewayt othehospi
tal
becauseshewasconvi ncedthatshewas
miscarryi
[Link]
herewasnot hingwrong.I
t'
swas
heartbr
eakingtowatchMah"
Shegoesqui
etf
orasecondbef
oresheexhal
es.
"
Ist
hatal
lthathappened?
"
"Andthecryi
[Link]
[Link]
tt
lethingsset
heroffandonceshestart
sshedoesn'
[Link]
alsonoti
cedsomethi
ngawhi l
ebackbutIdidn'tpay
thatmuchattent
iont
oit"
"
Whati
sit
?"
"Whenshesl eepssheholdontosomet hi
ngand
[Link]
lsasl
eepwi t
hherhand
aroundyourpyjamassheholdsuntilsheisawake
[Link] nor
maltoyou? "
"Howwoul dIknowt hi ngsl i
ket [Link]
nk
youar ereadingtoomuchi nt [Link]
mar r
iedyoungaf terbei ngr aisebyheruncl esso
sheisboundt obef [Link] akecareofherand
besuppor ti
ve"sher epl i
esqui [Link]
'sthewayshe
sayst hi
sthatmakesmet hinkt hereismoretothis.
ThisisThembekawear et [Link] her
regardsThembekaasherownchi l
dsoshewoul dn'
t
dismisssomet hingthat 'sclear l
yisapr obl
em
unlessthereissomet hingel se.
"Iam supporti
vebutIdoubtthatal
lthedamageis
justourfai
ledmarri
[Link]
nkthereismore.
Thembekagr ewupi ntheareaMah.I '
m sur
eyou
knewhergr andmother"
"
[Link] einthest
okvel
t
oget
[Link]'
tgo
anywherewi
thoutThembeka"Icant
ellshei
s
gett
ingemot
ional
.
"Soaf
terherpassi
ngdoyouthi
nksomethingmi
ght
havehappenedtoThembeka?Anyt
hingatal
lMah"
"Notaf t
erherpassi
[Link]' sgr andmother
travell
edfr
om DlebetoGluckstadPol iceStat
ion
afterThembeka'sauntarr
ivedint earssayingshe
caughtsomeonei nthefamilywi t
hhi spantsonhis
ankleswhileThembekawassl [Link]
this"sheexclai
msandt hecallgetscutof f
.
Istar
eatmyphonef oramomentt ryi
ngtoworkout
whatmymot [Link]
nsoI
cal
[Link] ingsunt
ili
tgoesto
voi
[Link]
nandandagai nunt
ilshe
answers.
"
Nqubeko"
"Di
dsomethinghappent
oThembeka?"Idemandso
shedoesn'
tthi
nkshecanavoi
dthi
s.
"I
t'
snotmypl acet
[Link]
ri
skopeni
ngt hewoundsThembekamightnoteven
[Link]
one"
"Wearenotl
eavingital
[Link]
tr
[Link]
dsomeonemol estThembekaasachil
d!!
"I
yel
landmyeyecat chesamovementbefor
eInotice
Thembekast
aringatme.
Chapt
er55

Nqubeko

"
Thembeka"Iendt
hecal
landsl
ipt
hephoneback
t
omypocket.
Shedoesn'trepl
ybuthereyesar [Link]
sheheardmeandshei sgoingtostar
tcr yingi
na
moment ."
Baby"Iwal kcloserandcatchherbef or
e
[Link] hslowl ygodown
unt
ilIam sit
ti
ngfirstandshei shal
fsitt
ingonme
andhalfonthefloor.
"Sothebaddreamsar
ethat?"Shewhi
sper
sand
buryherheadonmychest.
"Youhadanot
herbaddr
eam?
"Iwr
apmyar
ms
aroundher
.
Shedoesn' tr
eplyrightawayi nsteadshegaspf or
airafewt i
mesandt henl etoutt hemost
heartbr
[Link] dhert ightasshecont i
nues
forawhi l
eandt henherbr eathinggoessof [Link]
'sthe
pil
lstheygaveher .Thenur sedidsayshewi llsleep
[Link] twon' tl
ast .Shewi llwakeupsoon
soIhol dherli
kethatf orovert hirt
ymi nutesbefor e
sheisupandcont inuest ocr [Link]
knowwher ethiscomef r
om.
"
Let
'sgetyout
obed"Iwhi
sper
.Thef
loori
sst
art
ing
t
ogettome.
Shedoesn'
tpr
otest
.Sheget
supandpul
lmeup
bef
orewebothwalktot
hebedr
oom.
"
Weshouldgohome"Isuggest
.WhatIr
ealmeani
s
wearegoi
nghomesosomeonecananswerforal
l
t
his.
"Myhomeoryours?
"Sheaskbef
oreshel
aysher
headdownonthepil
low.
"Minebutwewil
lgotoyour
sifyouwant
"Ir
epl
yand
playwit
hherhands.
Shenodsandgoesqui
[Link]
elooki
ng
ar
oundf
orabi
tandt
hent
heycomebackt
ome.
"Foral
ongt i
meIusedt ohavet hi
sdream.
Especi
all
yifi'
m upsetbutInevertookanynot
iceof
i
t"
"Whatdoyoudr
eam about
?"Iaskandfi
xthepi
ll
ow
soIcanlaymyheaddownnexttohers.
"[Link] [Link] heypush
meont [Link] sabovemeand
pinni
[Link]' tbreakf r
[Link] i
mes
i
twon' [Link]
kei'm watchingthis
happent osomeoneel [Link] rlandIcan't
helpher"shetakesadeepbr eathandl eti
touti
n
gasps.
"Soit
'spr
obablyamemor [Link] otal
ktoDr
Ngcoboaboutt [Link] orget
them orr
ecallt
[Link]' tknowwhat'
sbestr i
ght
now"Itel
[Link]
ightbutIalso
wanttopunisht hepersonbehindi
t.
"
I'
m hungry"shewhi
sper
sandIl
[Link]
wil
lbeokaysomeday.
"
Let
'sgomakesomet
hingt
oeat
"Igetupf
ir
stand
pul
lherup.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Shemakesasandwi chandIset t
leforthecoffee.
West ayinthekitchenassheeat sandmel ooking
atherwhenshei sn'
[Link] okeher
spir
itandal mostgotawaywi thit
.Ifitwasn'tf
ormy
motherspi l
li
ngthebeansi twouldhavet akenus
ti
met oconnectThembeka' sdream tot hereal
ityof
asuppr essedmemor [Link] akenDr
Ngcobosomet imet ofigurethisoutifitwasn'
tf or
mymot her.
"Nqubekodoyouthi
nki'
m br
oken?"Sheasksher
voicesoundi
ngl
ikei
t'
scomingfr
om adiff
erent
person.
"
[Link]
enotbr
oken"Ir
epl
yandhol
dherhand.
"
Soyoust
il
llovemet
hesame?
"
"
[Link]
hingwi
llmakemest
opl
ovi
ngyou"t
her
eis
asmi
leonherf
acebuti
tdoesn'
tst
ayl
ong.
"Andifwehaveagir
lwearegoi
ngtoprot
ecther.
Sameast [Link]
llt
eachhi
mt oneverhur
t
gir
ls"
"
Yeswear
e"Ismi
lebackather
.
"I
'
m notsur
ehowIf eel
.Scared,
disgustedand
conf
[Link]
hingcouldhavepreparedmef ort
his"
"[Link]"Ipusht hechairbackandpul l
herintomyar [Link] omeandIt r
ynot
tothinkofallt
hetimesshedidthisi
nhersl eep.I
usedt othi
nkit'
sthewayshei sbutnowIcansee
i
t'snot.I
twasj ustawayherheadwast el
li
ngme
thereisaproblem bur
ieddeepinsi
deher .
Wesi tl
ikethatforawhi l
ebef
oreshepul
lsaway
[Link]
hem andIhel
p
wit
ht hedryingbeforewebothgobacktothe
bedroom.
"Weshouldpack"shesuggestsandInodbefor
e
taki
ngthesui
tcaseandlookatherbecauseweare
aboutt
[Link]
nghert
o
bewarm andherwantingtobecomf or
tabl
e.
*
***
**
*
***
**

Thembeka

Anyot herdayt hiswouldhavebeenf [Link]

packi ngf ormeandmepacki ngf orhim butt odayit
i
sn'tf [Link] htrytomakeeachot herl aughby
pickingabadout fi
tandaski ngi fit
'sokayandt hen
goingbackandf or
thforabi [Link]'
snotnor mal .It
's
notus.I t
'sli
kesomeonecamei nandt urneddowna
certainl i
ghtandl eftusinadi m pl [Link]
oftryingi [Link] ookingatme
whenhet hinksi'
m [Link]' tlooklike
hewant st orunawayandhi [Link] ooksl ikehe
want st oputmedownandwr aphisar msar ound
[Link], Iwantt oki
llsomeone.I tsoundscr uel
Iknowbutdeepdownt hat'
showIf [Link]
hast oanswerf orthisandt [Link] eIam as
anadul tandI '
vebeenaf rai
dal lmyl i
fe.I'
vebeen
tryi
ngt onavigatet hislif
ef eelinglikethereis
somet hingwr ongbutIhadnoi deawhatandwher e
i
tallwentwr [Link] rytobewi ldandal ivebutit
doesn'thappent hewayIt hinki [Link]
mor eIthinkabouti tthemor eIr eali
zethatNqubeko
i
st heonl ythingthatkeepsmei nt heli
[Link]
[Link] elif
ewaspl easinghim andIdi d
thatwithoutcompl ainbecausei tkeptmei nli
ne.
Evenwhenhegavemeadi fferentl i
feIdidn'
tuseit
[Link] nedt hesameThembekawal kinginthe
i
nvisibleli
nesetbymyl if
ef [Link]
mef ri
endsbecauseIcoul dn'tmaket hem myself.
ThenIbecamemyf riendsbecauseIcoul dn'
tbe
anythingelse.
"Thembeka"hecall
soutandIt
urntolookathi
m.
Hesmilesandpullmebacktohisar
ms." Weare
goingt
obeokay"
"Doyoureal
lyt
hinkso?"Iaskbef
orewr
appi
ngmy
armsaroundhi
swai st
li
ne.
"Iknowso"heki
ssmyl i
psandIki
sshim backand
sli
pmyhandsunder neathhi
st-
shi
rtandtouchhis
[Link]
shandsgrabmyassandpul [Link]
ontohi
m unt
ilhecar
ri
esmet
obedandpl
aceme
down.
Whenhehesi tateIkisshim andpul lhisshi
rtup.I
wantt hi
sandhehast [Link] t
ati
on
i
sgonei nasecondandhei sbackt ot
hemoment .
Weki ssandst ripeachot hernakedbef orewestart
[Link]'
swi l
dandl oudbutf oramoment
everythi
ngi sforgott
[Link] enor malagai
nand
ouraimi stoor [Link] thappensi t
'si
ntense
forusbot [Link] dsmet i
ghtandbr eathin
myearashekeepst el
li
ngmehel ovesme.
"Il
oveyoutoo"Ir
eplyasIset
tl
ebackint
omybody.
Thereal
it
yisbackandhard.I
thappenedandt
her
e
i
snowayar oundit.
Welayther
eforabi
tbef
orehepull
soutandpul
lme
[Link]
eisnosl
eepi
[Link]
nghomeso
wehavetogetamoveon.
Wegetintotheshowerandhet akesoverby
washi
[Link] sowashhisbackandweshar ea
ki
ssinbetweenbutitdoesn'
tchangeintomoreso
weexitt
hebathandgogetdr essed.
"I
sthisgoi
ngt
obewar
m enough?
"Hepoi
ntst
he
dress.
"I
'
llwearalongsleevetop"Ir
eplyandcheckthe
drawerfort
[Link]
ndagr eyoneanditseemsto
matchmymood.
"Thi
sorthi
s?"Hepi
cksuphisownl
ongsl
eeved
shir
[Link]
eyandwhit
eones.
"
Whit
[Link]
ikeyouinwhi
te"Ir
eplyandputonmybr
a.
Her
eachesoverandfi
xthestr
aps.
"
Ili
kewhi
tet
oo"hel
aughs.
Wecont i
nuet ogetdressedqui
etl
yunti
lweareboth
doneandt henfixthebedbefor
eNqubekocarri
es
thebagstot [Link]
ri
p
andcheckt hateveryt
hingi
sunpluggedbesi
dethe
fri
dge.
"It
hinkIfor
gotmychar ger"hesaysbeforehegoes
backinsi
[Link]
tnextt othecarwhil
el ookingat
[Link] ett
yandalsocal lDr
Ngcobo'soff
icet
oreschedul emyappoi ntment.I
waitafewmor eminutesbutNqubekoi sn'twalki
ng
[Link]
st
ari
ngout
sidet
hewi
ndow.
"
Nqubeko"
Hedoesn'
ttur
nrightawayandIpret
endnott
osee
whenhewipesthetearsi
nhiseyes.
"
Sor
ryIgotcaughtup"hespeaksi
nawei
rdt
one.
"It
'sf
[Link] ndifwewarm upsome
sausages?"Iaskandopenthef r
[Link]
andsear chf
oraTupper war
econt ai
[Link]
mt hen
upandputt hem onthecontai
nerbeforeweleave
thehouse.

*
***
**
*
***
**

Wear eusinghiscarsoIdoputmyfeetupandhe
l
[Link] andhel
pmysel
fonthe
sausages.
"Theysayt
hesmall
ert
hefeett
hel esschancesof
natur
albi
rt
h"hel
[Link]
hem too.
Idohavesmal
lfeet
.
"
That
'
snott
rue"Iar
gue.
"
Youareasi
[Link]
t
hat
'ssmal
[Link]
inyf
eet
"hesqueezes
mybigt
oeandIwigglet
hem.
"
Stopi
t"Il
augh.
"
Ilovet
hem t
[Link]
nysexyf
eet
"
"Ilovethem t
ooandi fIcan'thaveanaturalbi
rt
hit'
s
[Link] l
lgetthebestDoct ort
ohelpmegi ve
birth"It
rynottothi
nkoft hepainpeoplesaychil
d
birthcomeswi t
h.
"
I'
llgetyout
hebestpainki
ll
ersmoneycanbuy"he
winksandwebothlaugh.
"Goodbecausei'
m hungr
yandIhavetokeep
eati
ng"Iwipet
hef atonmymouthbef
orehehands
met heti
ssue"
Thanks"
"Weneedmusi csoyoudon'tf
allasl
eepandmake
mesleeptoo"hetur
[Link]'
tmi
ndsoI
cont
inueeati
ngwhil
ehedrives.
*
***
**
*
***
**

Nqubeko

Wer eachhomelat
eintheeveni
[Link]
indmymot her
cookingint
hefi
rewhil
eSontoisbusygivi
ngher
daughterabat
h.
"Wher
ei sMaKhumal
o?"Mymot
heraskswi
thout
evengreet
ingme.
"I
[Link]
lot
oyoutoo"Ir
epl
yandpul
la
smal
lbencht
osi
tdown.
"
Don'
thel
lome.I
t'
scol
[Link]"shepul
lsdown
t
hegr
assmatandaddablanketoveri
t.
[Link]
indherasl
eepeven
snori
ngabit
.Istandt
hereforamomentbefore
goingbackt
othem.
"
And?
"Sheasks.
"
Shei
ssl
eepi
ng.I
twasal
ongt
ri
p"isi
tbackdown.
Mymot
herandSont
oeyeeachot
her
.
"
Wher
eisMel
ikhaya?
"Iaskt
ogett
hem t
alki
ng.
"[Link]
llprobabl
ycomeaf termont hend.
ThereisaceremonyinJosiah'shouse"Ir
ollmy
[Link]
ami l
ywi l
lneverst
opentertaini
ng
thatf
ami l
[Link].
"Theyhaveti
me"Ir
eplyandextendmyhandt
othe
[Link]
absonandwantstocl i
mbontomebut
sheneedstogetdr
essedfi
rst
.It'
scol
d.
"Youshoul
dn'
tbel i
[Link]
l
ikeanoutsi
[Link] tworseyouevenhave
Thembekanotfamili
arwi t
htheother
s"preaches
mymot her
.Idon'tr
emindherthatsheactuall
y
l
ovesThembekamor e.
"Thembekaisfine"Irepl
yandl ookatSont
oasshe
getsupandhandst henowdr essedchi
ldt
[Link]
allr
emainquietasshepi cksupt hebat
hwaterand
l
eavestheroom.
"[Link]
dme"Itel
lmymot
her
.She
star
esatmeandshakeherhead.
"Wejustopenedwoundsshedoesn'
tevenknow
shehasNqubeko"shelookswounded.
"That'
[Link]'
tknowbutshe
hadbeendr eamingaboutthisf
oryear
[Link]
ust
hidingsomewher einherheadandnowsheis
attendi
ngtherapysoitwasgoingtocomeoutMah.
It
'sthetrut
h"Itrynotsoundemoti
onal.
"Sowhatareyougoi
ngtodo?
"Shepokest
hef
ir
e
andputsdownthest
ick.
"I
'
llsor
[Link]
orme.I'm
goingf
oradr ive"Il
ookatthecl
ockandit
'sal
most
ti
[Link]
yclosenow.
WhenSontowalksi
nmymot herwant
stoar
guebut
shecan'
tsoshekeepsqui
et.
"Sont
ocanyoupl easekeepaneyeonThembeka
[Link] ssleepi
ngbutwhenshewakesup, t
ell
heri'
l
lbeback"Ii nst
ructbeforehandi
ngthebaby
backtoher .Shecomplainsandwant smyhands
butIcan'tdelay.I
'mtooangr ytopl
aywithher.
"Tomorrowi t
'syouandmebabygi rl
"It
ouchher
chubbycheeksandshel [Link]
l
aughthatmakesmet
hinkaboutThembekaasa
chi
ld.
"
DothatSont
opl
ease"Iwal
koutandheadst
rai
ght
t
othecar.

*
***
**
*
***
**

It'
sadarknightbecauseofthefogandt hedrizzl
e
butIfi
ndMl ul
ekiexactl
ywher eIdi
[Link]
l
ookspissedjudgingbyt hewayhekeepsf li
cking
theci
garet
tehei [Link]
sever
alalr
eadybutIcan'tteasehim aboutthatyet.
Henodsandt urnitoutbeforeheopenst hedoor
andtakesagunf rom t
heseat .
"
Howi
sshe?
"Heasksasheputt
hegunonhi
sbel
t.
"Sl
eepi
[Link]
estoactallt
oughbutIknow
[Link]
[Link]
l
aughisnotallt
here"
Hedoesn'
tspeaki
nst
eadhest
art
swal
[Link]
oll
ow.
Wecanseethehomebutwedi dn'
tpar
kcloseby.
Thatwoul
dhaveal
ert
edthem sowewi l
ldropi
non
foot
.
Wewalkqui
etl
yunt
ilwereachthegate.I
t'
snot
l
ockedsowewalki
[Link].
"
Fort
heancest
ors"hemumbl
es.
Il
aughabi
[Link]
TVisonwecanseei
tinthewindowsandhear
voi
ces.
Iknockandt hehousegoesquietbeforesomeone
unlockst
hedoorandopensi [Link]
rst
andeveryoneturnsaroundt
[Link]
si
tti
ngont hecouchwi t
hablanketaroundher.
Theyofferusseat
sandsomeonehassomesense
[Link]
eemenand
[Link]
hekidsandt
he
grandki
[Link]
salargef
ami l
y.
"
AwMkhwenyana"saysthesamemant hatcamet
o
myhomedemandinglobol
aforFanel
e.
Ml
ulekigr
eet
sandf
lashesasmi
[Link]
char
mingabi
t.
"
Wewer en'
texpect
ingavisi
tthi
slat
[Link]
all
y
f
rom you"t
hemancont i
nues.
"I
t'
snotasocialcall
.I'
m hereonsomet hingseri
ous.
Ineedallt
hekidstogiveussomepr ivacy"Irequest
andmakesur etolookateveryoneIam dar i
ngto
getlost
.Theyoungeronesgetupr el
uct ant
ly
"I
ncludi
ngyouFaneleandt [Link] othe
bedroom"Idemandnol ongerpoli
te.
"Aybowhati
sthi
s?"Themancompl
ainsandIpul
l
outmygun.
"I'
m notpl
[Link] ost
ay.
Ifyoustayandyoudon' tt
ellwhatIwanttoknow
youwi l
lnotgetachancetogetout !
!"Ishoutand
pointever
yonet ot
hepassage.
Theladi
esgetupandhurryoutofr
[Link]
them gr
abherphonebutIgrabi
tfi
rst
.
"I
fyoucallthepoliceoranyoneelsethenknowyou
areresponsibl
efortheirbl
[Link] notplayi
ng"I
warnherbef or
eletti
[Link] sit
backdownandl [Link] derl
adies
r
emai
nsi
tt
ing.
"Stayputandclosethedoori
nthere"instr
uct
Ml ul
ekit
otheleavi
[Link]
Iassumei st
hebedroom andweheart helockgoi
n
place.
"Sor
ryaboutt
hat
"Iputt
hegundownandsi
tdown
agai
n.
"
What
'sgoi
ngon?
"Themanaskshi
svoi
ceshaki
ng.
"Someonemol est edThembekaasachi l
[Link]
thathergrandmot herhadtogoal lthewayt o
Gluckstadf ort hepol i
cebecauseamonst erinhis
househadmol estedThembekaandyouwant ed
thi
st oremai nhi [Link] her
efort hatperson.
Handt heper sonoverandwewi l
lleavewi t
hthem.
Simpleliket hat "Iexplai
[Link]
ng
anothertellhert [Link] supbut
Mlulekishowshi mt hegun.
"
Don'
tthi
nkofthi
sasanegot iat
ion.I
t'
[Link].
I
fyoudon'
thandovert hemonsteri
'l
lgotothat
r
[Link]
ngersonejointatthe
t
imewhil
eyouwat [Link]'
twanttohurtthekids
sodon'
[Link]
heper
son"Idemand.
Onel
adylooksatthegunont
het
abl
eandher
mout
htrembles.
"[Link]
nki'
m kiddi
[Link]
t
comest other
ethingsIdon'
tkid"Ipul
loutmy
pocketkni
feandst andup.
Someonestar
tswhist
li
ngoutsi
[Link]
scr
eamsatthepersontor
[Link]
hedoor
bef
oreIcangetpastt
hecoff
eetable.
"
Pleasedon'tki
llhi
[Link] ej
ustkidsplayi
ng"
t
[Link] epoutsi
deandwat chas
Mlul
ekiwrestl
esomeonet [Link]
whil
etheystopandhedr agshim backtothehouse.
"Geti
n"heshovedhiminandt
hel
adi
esal
lst
art
cryi
[Link]
[Link]
sbl
eedi
ngonthe
noseandmout h.
"
[Link]
snotdyi
ng"Iyel
l.
Thenoi
sedi
eatonceandt
hemanget
sup.
"Si
tol
[Link]
utel
ynothi
ngt
omeso
don'
tatt
emptme.I
sthi
shi
m?"Ipointt
hemanon
t
hef
loor
.
Theykeepqui
et.
"
Iwon'
taskagai
n"Idemand.
"Wecansortt
hisoutasfamil
[Link] ustakid
playi
ngwi
ththeotherki
[Link]
ttoofar"t
he
secondmanhasfoundhisvoice.
"Waitaminute.I
fhewasj ustakidt
henwear e
tal
kingaboutdif
fer
entoccasion"Mymotherdi
dn'
t
[Link]
redhanded.
"
Nqubeko"saysMl
ulekil
ooki
ngatme.
"I
[Link]
withhi
spantsdown?Wasi tyou?"Ipointthequiet
manandheshakeshi sheadandwi thouthesit
ation
hepoint
stheri
ngleader
.Thesamemant hatcame
tomyhousetalki
ngaboutlobol
a.
"
Hedi
dthesamet
oPhi
li
"themansays.
Weal
lstar
eatthenowpalefacedmanint
hehouse.
Hel
ookssocaughtouthekeepsgaspi
ngf
orai
r.
"
Itwasyouf
ather
"at
inyvoi
ceasksandweal
ltur
n
tothedi
recti
[Link]
'sati
nywomanwit
h
Thembeka'seyesbutsheisl
ightski
nnedandmor
e
ski
nnythanThembeka.
"
Snqobi
le"t
hewomansaysi
nashockedvoi
ce.
"
Mydaughterwasn'
[Link] hosethi
ngs
t
oher"shewal
ksfurt
heri [Link]
h
t
ear
sandherhandscl osedintofi
sts.
"
Soyouareanoldper
vert
.goingaft
ert
heki
ds?
"
AsksMl
ulekiwi
thadi
sgustedvoi
ce.
"That'
swhyyouhat
ePhi
[Link]
her"sheasks
"Snqobi
leIcanexpl
ain"hest
art
stospeakbutshe
[Link]
.
"Youcan'
[Link] ert
osuicidebaba.
Yourowngr andchi
[Link] azy
notknowi
ngwhathappened.I twasallyou"
"Snqobi
lepleasesi
tdown"t
hewomanjoi
nsi
nand
Snqobil
epicksupthegunonthet
abl
e.
"Snqobil
e..
..
."Ml
ulekist
art
sbutshef
iresashot
beforehecouldfi
[Link]
squietbecauseof
thesil
encerbutweallst
areatt
hemanwi t
ha
shockedlookonherfaceandhishandcover
shi
s
chestwherethebul
letwenti
n.
Thesil
encewashesoverandt
hentheystar
tcryi
ng.
[Link]
dsinthebedroom
j
oin.
Snqobi l
eturnsaroundandhereyesar efixedonme.
Ireachoutforthegunbutshet urnsandaimsatt he
bleedi
ngmanont hefl
[Link]
ngabeat
shef i
resanothershotathim andhedoesn' teven
[Link] dstheguntowar dsher
ownheadIj umpinandwr est
leitof
[Link]
goesof fbutIam nothit.I
talsodoesn'tl
ooklike
Snqobi l
eisalsohit.
"
Nqubeko"yel
lsMl
ulekil
ooki
ngbehi
ndme.
It
urnaroundandit
'sFanel
[Link]
sstari
ngatme
wit
[Link]
onherstomachherhandsarebl
oody.
"[Link]"Ir
ushtoherandholdherbef
orewef
all
s.
Thebull
etwentt
hroughherstomach.
Chapt
er56
Nqubeko

Wemakei tt
oNkongenihospit
alandtheyrushher
i
[Link]
sstil
lawakebutdoesn'
tseem t
obe
awareofanyt
hingbutherst
omach.
"
Letthem workonher"saysMlul
eki
pull
ingmeback
whenIst ar
ttowal
kintotheemer
gencyroom wi
th
t
henur sesanddoct
ors.
Ist
[Link]
edi
nblood.
Ist
areatt
hem andtryt
owipethem i
nmypantsbut
i
t'
sdryi
ngupsonothinghappens.
"Whydi
dshel
eavethebedr
oom"IasktoMlul
eki
andgi
[Link]
sodoesn'
tknow.
"Overher
e"Ihear
daf emal
evoiceandl
[Link]
's
Snqobil
ebaref
ootedwit
hPhil
iandDabul
abehind
them.
"
Howi
sshe?
"AsksPhi
lil
ooki
ngpal
eandshi
ver
ing.
"Theyarest
il
lworki
ngonher"repl
iesMlul
ekibef
ore
heplaceshi
sjacketonhershoul
ders.
"
Thanks"shehol
dsi
tti
ghtar
oundherandI
r
[Link]
lwor
ryabout
me.
"IneedtocallThembeka"It
ellthem bef
ore
searchi
[Link]' tfi
nditandDabul
a
handsmehi [Link] hankyouandwal k
awayf r
om them.
Thembeka'
sphoneri
ngsoncebef
oresheanswer
s.
Sheiscl
ear
lyawake.
"
Dabul
a"shesoundsl
ikeshei
spani
cki
ng.
"
It
'smemyl
[Link]
eyouokay?
"
"
Nqubeko"
"
Yeahi
t'
sme"Il
eanagai
nstt
hewal
l.
"
Ijusthadareal
lybaddream aboutFanel
eandyou.
Whereareyou?"IcanhearSontoandherdaught
er
i
nthebackground.
"Weareatt
hehospi
tal
.Somet
hinghappenedt
o
Fanel
e"
"
Ist
hebabyokay?I
ssheokay?
"Sheasksqui
ckl
y.
"Wedon'[Link]
ngonheraswe
speak"Ir
eplyandtrynottoimagi
neal
lthatbl
ood
andthefearinFanel
e'seyes.
"
Areyoual
one?
"
"
I'
m withDabul
a,Phi
li
,Ml
ulekiandSnqobil
e"Icheck
i
fthey'
vemovedwhereIl
eftthem andtheyhaven'
t.
"
Okay.I
'
llpr
ayt
hatsheandt
hebabyar
eokay"
"
[Link]
en?
"
"YeahIateandbef
oreyouworr
[Link] undert
he
blanket
ssoIam warm"shel
aughsabit.
"Il
oveyoubaby"It
rynott
osoundemot
ionalsoshe
doesn'
tworr
yaboutme.
"
Iloveyout
[Link]
llbot
hbeokay"
"
[Link]
llbeokay.I
'
llcal
laf
teranhour
"
"
Yeahyout
othat
"sher
epl
yandyawn.
"Staywarm okay"Iaddbefor
eendingthecal l
.I
don'ti
mmedi at
[Link]
[Link]
smakemea
hypocri
te?ThatInowwantt oaskGodf orhelp
whenI'veal
waysbethesol
verofmyownproblems.
Iam notsur
ebutst
il
lIdosayasil
entpr
ayerf
or
Fanel
eandourbaby.
"Haveyout ol
dThembeka"atinyvoi
cedrawmeout
ofmypr [Link]
'sSnqobi
le.
"Notyet
.Idi
dn'
ttel
lherever
ythi
ng"Ican'
thelpbut
l
[Link]
keThembekaonl y
Thembekahasgrownwhi l
eSnqobil
eissti
llsmal
l.
"
Okay"shesmi
lesandhereyesar
eshi
ningwi
th
t
ear
s.
Ishrugmyjacketof
fandpl
acei
tonhershoul
der
s.
Itswal
lowsherup.
"
Howol
dar
eyou?
"Iaskoutofcur
iosi
ty.
"[Link],Phil
i,ThembekaandSl i
ndel
wagott he
smallfr
[Link] tfr
om ourgreat
-
grandmotherbutl i
keThembekashegainedsome
weightandherhi [Link]"she
l
aughsabi t.
"
Butyouladi
esaref
[Link]
ne"Il
ookupand
Mlul
ekii
sstandi
ngbehindPhil
iinaprot
ect
ive
manner
.Ithi
nkDabulaseest
hingbecausehei
s
st
andi
ngjustcl
[Link]
sapr ot
ector
.
"
Haveyoubeeni
njai
l?
"Herquest
ionsnapmeback
t
oher.
"
Jai
l?
"
"
[Link]
lIknowi'm goi
ngtoj
ail
.Sohaveyoubeen
t
here?
"If
orgotaboutthebi
gdramaweleftbehi
nd.
"
Nott
hef
emal
esi
deofi
[Link]
k?"
"Notsincemydaughterki
ll
[Link]'
t
funct
[Link]
dn'
tknowwhatwasgoi [Link]
homesi ncet
hen"shewipethetearswi t
ht heback
ofherhand.
"
Itakeyoudon'
thaveal
awyer
?"
Sheshakesherheadandst
areathert
inyf
eet
.
"
Whyar
eyoubar
efoot
ed?
"
"WhenDabulaar
ri
vedwit
hthecarIj
ustl
eft
"she
hidesonef
ootbehi
ndtheot
her.
"
Dabul
acandr
ive?
"
"
Yesbuthi
sfr
ienddr
[Link]
sheadi
ngt
osect
ionA.
Hel
eftusher
eandcont
inuedwi
thhi
str
ip"
Inodandl
ookupt
oherf
ace.
"Sohowcomeyoulookl
ikeThembeka?
"Asmi
le
spreadi
nherdr
yli
ps.
"BecauseThembekal ooksl i
keourgr
eat
grandmot herplusherfatherhereandther
[Link],I
l
ookl i
keherandhi m abi [Link]'tpi
cka
parent"hervoicetr
ail
sof f.
"I
'l
lgetyoualawyer
.[Link] l
lhaveto
wor kwit
hhimtogetyouof fSnqobil
[Link]
saysandhowhesaysi [Link]
sonal
feeli
ngsonthematt
[Link]
ent ohim"Iwil
lhavet
o
callSandi
leandt
ell
him.
"
Howmuchwi
llt
hatcost
?"
"Forgett [Link]
[Link] ai
list
ough.I
assumet hefemalesideistought oobutyouwi l
lbe
fi
ne"Iputmyar m onhershoul derforcomfort.
Surprisinglyshewr apsherarmsar [Link] s
movet akemebackt oThembekabei ngmynew
[Link] [Link]
seeingonef orthefir
stti
meandwhenshet riedto
hiti
t,t
hei nsectbeingwingedandal lj
ustmovedt o
[Link] eamedandIcamer [Link]
herstari
ngatherchestr i
singandfall
[Link]
ledit
andwi t
houtanywar ningsheturnedandwr apped
herarmsar [Link] dherbacklookingatt he
topofherheadi [Link] il
lti
nyl i
ke
her.
Shepul
lsawayandwi
pet
het
ear
sinhereyes.
"Let
'sgobackt
ot heot
her
s"Isuggestandshe
star
tswalki
ngf
irst.
"
HowisThembeka?"AsksMl
ulekishi
ft
ingeven
mor
eclosert
oPhil
i.
"Sheisf [Link]
dn'ttellhert
hewhol [Link]
thatwear ehere"Ireplyandsi tdownont hebench.
Snqobi lejoi
nsmeandt henPhi l
ialsositsdown.I
l
ookatMl ul
ekiandhedoesexact lywhatIt hi
nkhe
[Link] tsdownnextt [Link]
oseenoughf or
hertol eanagainsthi [Link]'tdarelookat
Dabul [Link]
l
ookatMl ul
ekiandf i
ndhi slookingatPhi l
i'
ssideof
[Link] smyf ri
endandIt r
usthim butPhi l
iis
l
ikemyf
ami
[Link]
egoi
ngt
otal
kaboutt
his.

******
******

Thembeka

Iwakeupandmaket hebedbef
[Link]
wateri
scoldbutIhavenoi
deawhattodo.I'
m no
l
ongermar r
iedt
oNqubekosoIcan'
tjustwal
kint
o
theki
tchen.
"Thembeka"someoneknocksgentl
eandpushthe
[Link]
'sNqubekomother
.Lucki
lyshef
inds
medr essed.
"Mor
ningMah"Igr
eetpol
it
eandshesmi
lesbef
ore
shesi
tsont
hechair.
"
Mor
ningmt
anami
.Di
dyousl
eepwel
l?
"
"Yeswesleptwell
.WithAsandatal
kingwhenshe
couldn'
tsl
[Link]
kischarming"Ican'
t
hel
pbutl
[Link]
satthi
ngswhenshe
makest
[Link]
tst
alki
ngIf
eelf
or
Sont
o.
"Shetakesaf
terSont
[Link]'
tstoptal
king"
shelaughsandthenstops"
Pleasesi
[Link]
total
ktoyouaboutsomethi
ngi mpor
tant"
Idon'
trepl
yinst
eadIst
opf
oldi
ngt
hesl
eepwearand
si
tdown.
"
ItoldNqubekowhatyourgr andmotherdi
d.I
t
wasn'tmypl acebutwhenhesaidyouarenotdoi
ng
wellIthoughtitcoul
dbethat
.I'
m sorr
ymtanami"
InodbutIdon'
tknowwhyIam noddi
[Link]
l
ikepeopl
eknowt hi
ngsIdon'
tknowaboutme.
"
Itt
urnsoutt
hatNqubekowenttoconf
rontyour
f
amilyi
nDalt
[Link]
ewasabi gconfr
ontat
ionand
t
wopeopledied"
"
Dead?
"Ist
areatheri
nshock
"
[Link]
egotinjur
edbymi
stakeandshei
sint
he
I
CUinNkonjenihospit
al"
"
AndNqubeko?Mycousi
ns?
"Ist
andupbutshe
wavesmedownsoIsi
tbackdown.
"
Theyarefi
[Link]
eal
latt
hehospi
talwai
ti
ng
f
orFanel
e"
"
Sowhodi
ed?
"
"Youruncl
eandoneofthecousi [Link]'
twant
yout owor
ryaboutt
[Link]
focusonthi
s"shepoint
smymi dsecti
onandthen
smile.
"
Howdoyouknow?
"
"I
'
m anadul [Link]
t'
stoo
soontotellpeoplesojustt
akethi
ngsslowandnap
whenyouneedt [Link]
sisyourhomeandasmot her
Ihavetotakecar eofyou"
"
Thankyoumah"myst
upi
deyesar
egoi
ngt
ost
art
wat
eri
ng.
"Andyoucancomet othekit
chen.I twoul
dbe
stupi
dofmet osaydon' t
.You'vebeenpar tofthi
s
famil
[Link] i
nuel i
kethelast
ti
[Link]' tt
ellpeopl
et hi
s
earl
[Link] l
d"shestands
upandsqueezemyshoulderbef
oreshewal
ksout
.
Sontowal
ksinaf
terherandfi
ndmewi pi
ngmy
eyes.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"Sheasks
"
Nothi
[Link]
imesi
'
m acr
ybaby"Il
aughand
l
ookather.
"[Link]
elseist
[Link]
tcr
ybabyandlet
him worr
y"shelaughstoo.
"
Hewor
ri
esal
ot"
"I
tshisnat
urebutwhenitcomestoyouIt hi
nkit
's
hisj
ob.I'
m gl
adyouguysf i
xedthi
[Link]
dri
vinghi
m crazyt
obeawayf rom you"nowshe
soundsgir
lyandit
'sni
cebutthisi
sherbr ot
her
.
"
Iam gl
adwearebackagai
n.I
twasn'
tgoodf
orme
t
oo"Itr
ynott
orememberKwanel
e.
"
Let'
sgohavebreakf
ast
.Asandai
sbot
her
ingmy
f
atherf
ornow"
Ist
andupandtakemyphone.I
tst
art
sri
ngi
ngand
i
t'
sNqubeko.
"
Nqubeko"Ianswer
.
"Youtellhi
m Isai
dhebettersleepwit
hbot heyes
openbecausewhathest art
edi sfarf
rom over
.Him
andthatslutwil
lgeti
t"t
hreatenthepersoninthe
otherend.
"
Whoi
sthi
s?"
"Doesn'
tmat terwhoIam butIam tel
li
ngyout hat
youboyfri
endandt hatsl
utbett
erwat
chi t
.And
whileati
ttellthatwhoreandherbrot
herthatwewi l
l
burndownt heirhomesot heybett
ertaketheir
bastar
dkidsandr [Link]'
tmurderfamilyand
[Link]"line
goesdead.
Istar
eatt
hephoneandl
[Link]
d
becauset
hevol
umeisuponthephone.
"
Cal
lNqubeko"
"Thatwashi
[Link]
nghi
sphone"I
unlockmyphoneanddialPhi
li
'
snumberbutt
henI
rememberDabul
a'
snumberandNqubekousedit
whenhecall
ed.
Imaket
hecal
landNqubekoanswer
s.
"
Thembeka"
"[Link] l
[Link]
threat
eningtohurtyouandsomeoneel [Link]
alsothreat
enedthekids.
..
..
."
"Cal
m [Link]
ledDabul
a'
s
phone"hesoundscal
m.
"[Link]
lbur
ndownt
[Link]
home"Iyellathi
m.
"
Theywon'
[Link]
en?
"
"
Nqubeko!
!!
"
"
Thembeka.I
'l
lbehomei [Link].
[Link]
alk
whenIgett
here"heendsthecall
.
Imaket
hecal
lagai
nandheanswer
sint
hef
ir
str
ing.
"
Whoi
sthewhor
ehei
stal
kingabout
?"Idemand.
"[Link]
edherfather
andherbrot
[Link]
ld
committ
edsuicidewheni [Link]
tookthegunandkill
[Link]
egotshotby
[Link]
nsoutthemanalsoabusedPhiliasa
chil
[Link] rt
[Link] hefamil
yis
acti
nglikesheki
ll
[Link]'t
worryaboutthem"
"HowcanInotworr
y?Theyaret
hreat
eni
ngt
oki
l
l
youandherandburndownourhome"
"[Link]'
[Link] o
useit
.Noonei scomi ngaft
ermeandiftheycome
theywil
lfi
ndmer [Link] avour
.Eat,
keepwarm andkissAsandaf orme.I
'
llbehomeina
bit
"hesoundslikehei ssmil
ing.
"
Howi
sFanel
e?"
"Outofsur
[Link]
letmissedal
lthemaj
or
[Link]
lbeokay"
It
akeadeepbr
eat
handsi
tdown.
"
That'
[Link]
amil
yist
his?
"Ist
andup
whenIfeelsomedampnessinmyunder
wear
.
"
Theyaredir
tybutdon'
twor
ryaboutt
hem"i'm no
l
ongerl
ist
eningt
oNqubekobecauseIam busy
t
urni
ngmyskirtar
[Link]
'
m doneIst
areat
t
heredst
ain.I
'
m bleedi
ng.
"
Nqubeko.I
'
m bl
eedi
ng"Iwhi
sperwhi
lest
ari
ngat
t
hestai
n.
"
Whatdoyoumean?
"
"It
hinkthereissomethingwrongwi t
hthebaby.
Thereisblood"IsaythisloudenoughforSont
oto
hearandwal [Link]
s
andstaresatme.
"
Okay,
areyoui
npai
n?"AsksNqubeko.
Il
ist
[Link]'
tfeelanypai
nIcanonl
y
hearmyhear
tbeat
ingpainf
ull
yinmychest.
"
No.I
'
m noti
npai
n"
"[Link]
ing
pregnancy.I
sitcomingouttoomuch?"Hesounds
socalm.
"
NoIdon'
tfeeli
tjustast
aini
nmyski
rt
"
"
Okaythat'
[Link]
snopainand
i
t'
[Link]
l
ookforpadsi
nthewar dr
[Link]
dn'
tthrowthem
away.I
'l
lbether
enowandtakeyoutot
heDoctor
"
heinst
ruct
.Inodasat
eardropsfr
om myeye.
"
Thembekaputt hephoneonl
oudspeakeranddo
whatIt
ellyou"herepeat
s.
Idoastol
dandchangeeverythi
[Link]
oputst
he
cl
othesi
nthel
aundrybucketandpourwater
.
"
Sti
llnopai
n?"Heasksaf
teramoment
.
"
No"Ir
epl
y
"
[Link].I
'
mtur
ningi
nthecor
ner
"
Sont
[Link]
let
andputt
wopadsi
njusti
ncase.
Webot hlookupwhenweheart [Link]
[Link]
ewakingtothe
[Link]
ei sMl ulekidr
ivi
[Link]
esatmeasI
approachthecar .Heisonepersonwhoalways
l
ooksatmel i
kehei senjoyi
ngsomeinsidej
oke
whenheseesme.
"[Link] andl
ethim sl
eepi
n
[Link] llbeback"saysNqubekotoSonto
asMl ulekiexi
tthecar.
"MaKhumal
o"saysMl
ulekigi
vingmeanodanda
smil
e.
"
Hi"Ismi
lebackandgeti
nthecar
.
"
Sti
llokay?
"AsksNqubekost
art
ingt
hecar
.
"
[Link]
n"
"[Link]
heDoct
orandhavehi
m
confi
rmt hati
tsnor
mal"
InodandlookatSont
oandMl
uleki
wal
kingi
ntot
he
mainhouse.
"WhydoesMl
ulekial
waysl
ooksatmel
ikehei
s
enj
oyi
ngapri
vatejoke?
"
Nqubekol
aughsandt
urnsont
her
adi
o.
"Whenyouare15or16someboywast easi
ngyou
aboutyourt
inyfeet
.Youwer ecarr
yingabucketof
wateri
[Link] oputitdownand
chasedtheboydownt hefi
[Link] ked
backupyoust r
uggl
edt oputthebucketbackint
o
yourhead.
..
."
"
Hewal kedoverandhel
pedme"Ifi
nishf
or
[Link] ycomesbackt
ome.
"[Link]
hatdayhedevelopedthi
ssoftspot
[Link] heone
cheeri
[Link]
nkseventhoughyouar e
sensit
iveandal
lbutyouarecapableoff
ight
ing
back"
"
Doyout
hinkt
hesame?
"Iaskwhi
leeyei
nghi
m.
"Babygir
[Link] l
lneverhavethesame
viewswheni tcomest [Link] obi
s
toprot
ectandsol [Link]
andseehowf [Link] i
llf
eelt
he
blood?
"Hel ooksatmyt hi
ghs.
"
Idon'
tfeelanyt
hing"
"
Check"
Ist
areathi
[Link]
lysuggest
ingIcheckmy
vi
ginai
nthecarwi
thhim?
"ThembekaIknowhowitlooksli
[Link]
he
padforthest
ain"hemakesitsoundsoeasy.
"
Wewi
llcheckwhenwegett
otheDoct
or"
"Openyourl
egsandleftmechecki
fyouaref
eeli
ng
shyaboutsomet
hing"hedemandsandIpushthe
ski
rtbet
weenmyt
highsandsqueezet
hem.
"
Youarenotdoi
ngt
hat
.Justdr
ive"Il
aughwhenhe
l
aughst
oo.
Theoncomi ngcarmakesabadt ur
nandbl
ockst
he
[Link]
.
"
Maybetheyarehavi
ngcart
roubl
e"Isuggesteven
t
houghever
ythi
nginmesaysther
eismor e.
Thedooropensandsomeonest umblesoutand
someonepushesthenf or
[Link]
opsthe
carandgrabssomethi
ngi nt
[Link]
opensthedoorIseeit
'sagun.
"
Stayi
nthecar
"hei
nst
ruct
s.
"
Nqubekodon'
tgo"
MorepeoplecomeoutofthecarandIseebags
bei
ngthrownoutandthenIseeCeli
weandtwo
boysr
usht ohersi
de.
"
It
'st
heki
ds"Iyel
landopent
hedoor
.
Themangetbacki
nthecarandoneofthem ki
ck
Dabul
abef
orehefal
lsf
[Link]
heydri
ve
away.
"Thembeka!!
!!
"yel
lsNqubekoasIrunt
omyf amil
y.
Thekidsalsostar
trunni
ngtowar
dsmel eavi
ngPhil
i
kneel
ingnexttoDabula.
Whentheyreachmetheystar
tcr
[Link]
t
ell
sthem t
ogetthecarandcont
inuestoPhil
i.
Cel
iweholdsthei
rhandsastheyconti
nuetot
hecar
[Link]
[Link]
swoll
eneyeandanotherbr
uiseonhisfor
eheadbut
helooksokay.
"
Theybeathi
m up"saysPhi
lihol
dingherel
bow.
"
Isyourar
m br
oken?
"AsksNqubeko.
"[Link]
tbutit
'snotbr
oken"sher
epl
iesand
star
tpi
ckingupt
heirbags.
"Whoar
ethosepeopl
e?"Iaskwhi
lehel
pingher
car
ryt
hem t
othecar.
"I
t'sSdumoandhi [Link]
hismorni
ng
andt heysetourhouseonf i
re.I
tshisf
atherwho
died"sheexplai
nsandwi ncewhenshemovesher
armt oofast.
"
Canyougi
bemeyourphoneThembeka"says
Nqubeko.
"
It
'si
nthecar
"
Henodsandpi
ckupther
estoft
het
hingsasweal
l
wal
kbacktot
hecar
.
"Wher
eisSnqobi
leandMl
uleki
'
scar
?"Heaskt
o
Phi
li
.
"
Theytookt
hecarandt
ookSnqobi
let
oo"she
r
epl
ies.
Nqubekodoesn'
tsayanythi
ngunti
lwer eachthe
car
.WehelpDabul ageti
nthenIsqueezeinwiththe
ki
[Link] hecall
.
"
Areyoucal
li
ngt
hepol
ice?
"AsksPhi
li
"[Link]
soneneedsmet osolvei
t"herepl
iesand
closet
[Link]
doesn'
twanttheki
dst
ohearhi m makesthecall
s.
Whenheisdonehewai
tsf
orawhi
[Link]
he
doorandgetout
.
"
Nqubeko"
"
I'
m wai
ti
ngf
orSakhi
let
ocomegett
heki
[Link],
you,
DabulaandPhil
iwi
llcont
inuetothehospi
tal
.
Thekidswi
llgohometomymot her
"
Inodandl
eanagai
nstt
hecarwi
thhi
m.
"
It
'snotyourf
aul
t"hesaysj
ustasIwasst
art
ingt
o
t
hinki
t'
smyf aul
t.
"
Thenwho?
"
"Them f
orabusingt
heki
dsinthefami
[Link]
Sdumof orpoki
ngmeintheeye"
"
Areyougoi
ngt
oki
llhi
m?"Il
owermyvoi
ce.
"
Yes"her
epl
iesandt
henpul
lmecl
oset
ohi
m"al
lof
t
hem"
"
TheyhaveSnqobi
le"Idon'
tevenknowher
.
"Don'
tworr
ythepolicear eheadingtheret
opickher
[Link]"Idon'
t
repl
y.I
[Link] amilyisrott
enandI
marri
edacriminal
.Ther eisnothingtosayfornow.
Chapt
er57

Thembeka
Wel eavetheDoct or'splacequiet
lyaft
ertheDoctor
explai
nedt hatI'
mf ineandt hatsometi
mesa
womandospotdur ingpr egnancyespeciall
ywhen
i
t'sthi
[Link] soaddst hatIneedtor estand
Nqubekoagr eeswithhim.I '
m happytobesaf ebut
i
'm notsureaboutr [Link] estwhen
ther
ei ssomuchhappeni ngaroundyou.
Dabul
aisrest
inginthecarandPhil
ihasasli
ng
t
hingsupport
ingherarm becausei
t'
snotbr
oken.
"
Areyouokay?
"Sheaskaswegeti
nthecar
.
"
Yeahi'
mfi
[Link]
ll
s"Ir
epl
yand
t
rynott
odi
stur
bDabula'
snap.
"Canwegetsomet [Link]
them upaft
erallt
[Link] herwillcook
buttheydeser
vesomet hingnice"saysNqubeko
star
tingt
hecar.
"
Somechi
pswi
lldo"suggest
sPhi
li
.
"
Andat
oyort
wo"headds.
"
Theboysl
ovecar
[Link]
iwei
sst
il
lint
odol
ls"she
r
epl
iesbef
oreshel
ooksoutt
hewi
ndow.
Thecarr
emai
nsqui
etunt
ilNqubekogoesi
nsi
det
he
shopl
eavi
ngusi
nthecar
.
"Idon'
[Link]
herisar api
standyouattack
theinnocentpeoplefori
t?Imean, whatdi
dwedo?
Whybur ndownourhome? "AsksPhil
iastear
s
stream downhercheek.
"It
hinkhei sabull
yandhet houghtwhynotatt
ack
thehelplesski
ds"i
tmakesmeangr yj
usttothi
nk
[Link]
[Link] twasbad
andweneededt ofi
xitorr
estartbuti
twashome.
Ourhome.
Shelet'
soutasobandIsear
chmybagf orsome
ti
ssues.I'
m cr
ybabysoIal
wayshavet
hem ready.
"It
hinkwehavetoinvol
vet
hepoli
ce,theel
der
sin
theareaandthewholef
amil
[Link]
scan'tgoon
[Link]
vesomeanswers"Iaddasshe
wipeshereyes.
Aknockonthewindowmakesusj
ump.I
t'
sTi
ko
wi
thMlul
ekibehi
ndhim.
Iopenthewi
ndowandhesmi
[Link]
sman
hasseenmeatmyworst
.
"
Heyguys"Igr
eett
hem.
"
HeySisi
.Ar
eyouguysokay?Wher
eisNqubeko?
"
AskTi
ko
"Hewentinsi
de"Irepl
yandgetoutoft hecar.
Mlulekial
sohelpsoutPhi
liwhom Ihadnoi dea
neededhelpsinceherl
egsarefi
[Link]'
sjustanarm.
"
Isheokay?
"Hepoi
ntsatDabul
a.
"
Heneedssomepr operrestbuthewil
lbefine.
HaveyouheardanythingaboutS'nqobi
le?
"Iaskto
Mlul
ekibecauseIdoubtthatTikoknowsyet.
"Shei
sf i
[Link]
cewenttogether
.Thekidsare
fi
[Link]
his?
"HepointsatPhil
i'
s
arm.
"I
t'
snotbr [Link]
nful
"shemovesherhand
asiftoshowhi mt hati
tcanstil
[Link]
koandI
l
ookatt hem andIdon'tknowwhathei st
hinking
becauseIam t hi
nkingheisstandi
ngtooclose.
"
Youguysar
eher
e"saysNqubekowal
kingt
owar
ds
[Link]
ckl
yjudgi
ngbyt
henumberof
pl
asti
chehas.
"
Thatwasf
ast
"Icommentandhel
aughs.
"Iwentst raightt ot het hethingsIneededandasked
forhel p"hel oadst hem inthebackandt henthey
movet oadi st ancebef oretheystartspeaking
[Link]' tevenl ookatPhi l
iri
ghtnowbecauseI
soldNqubekoast hispr operstandupguywhodoes
[Link] i
censedgunt hathe
carriesforpr ot ecti
onbecausebusi nesspeopl edo
[Link] ff
er entNqubekoandi '
m start
ingt
o
thi
nkIdon' tknowhi m atall.
Theyspeakf orawhi l
ebefor
eNqubekocomesback
andtel
lsPhilit
or i
dewi t
hMlulekibecauseofthe
spaceinthecarsi nceDabul
[Link]
doesn'
[Link] andtheywalk
backtothecar .
"Getint
hecarThembeka"saysNqubekoasIst
are
atthem.
"Whyisyourfr
iendsuddenl
ycl
oset
omycousi
n?"I
askasIgetinthecar.
Hedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadheget
sint
hecarandst
art
dr
ivi
ng.

*
****
***
*
****
***

Wear r
ivebacktoNqubeko'
shomeandf indCeli
we
si
tti
ngoutsi
[Link]
standsupwhensheseest hecarandthenIseet wo
headsappeari
[Link]
'scl
earthatthey
werescaredandbeingi
napl acethati
sn'tthei
r
homemustbescar y.
"Ithi
nkwehavetot akethem toDurbanwithus.
Findthem anewschool .I
twil
ltakethem awhil
eto
adjustbutt
heywil
[Link] eyoung"saysNqubeko
quietl
yashestopst hecarandopenst hedoor
.
Thebi
tchi
nmesayskeepyourmout
hshutl
ikehe
di
dwhenIaskedaboutMl
uleki
.
Iopenmydoorandgetout
.Celi
werunst
omeand
wrapherar
[Link]
ffort
he
boysast heyal
[Link]
thatendswithl
oudsobsofconf usi
onandfear.I
managet ocalmthesi
tuati
ondownandt akethem
tothekit
chenwhileNqubekotakesDabul
at othe
room sohecansleeponthebed.
"
Theydi
dn'
teveneat
.Theythoughtyouguys
wer
en'
tcomi
ngback"saysSontoaswewal kin.
Cel
iwesmil
eshylyandtakesaseatont
hechai
r.
Theboysdon'
tletgoofmyhands.
"I
t'
sbeenhect
ic"Ir
eplyandmanaget ofreeone
handthepul
lachairt
[Link] heyarebot
h
standi
[Link]
nno
mor et
ear
s
"Tellmeabouti [Link]
herhasgonet otalktothe
chiefsothiscanber esolvedwithoutgetti
nguglier
andi nnocentsoulsgett
inghurt"saysSont opull
ing
outt hechairandthenpickingoneboyupt othe
chairandt hendoingthesamet ot [Link]
thi
[Link] tsoeasi
lyandt heydon'tcli
mb
downorpr otest
.
"
Doyout
hinki
tcanber
esol
ved?S'
nqobi
lei
sinj
ail
aswespeak"
"Morer easonswhyi tshouldberesolvedquickl
yto
avoidmor edramaandmor escandalsbeing
exposedt othepubl i
c"sheopenst hemi crowave
andt akesoutt heplatefil
ledwit
hf oodbeforeshe
dishesintothreebowl sandt henhandst heli
ttl
e
peoplef [Link] fI'
l
leverbel i
[Link]
whatt hekidsneedsandhandi ngitwi t
houtmaking
abigdealabouti t
.
"Ohwel lwel [Link] lyIdon'tseeus
beingallforgivingaft
erthis"Idon'tmentionther eal
reasonbecausei t'
[Link]
rapesalltheki dsinthefami l
[Link] andchildto
thepointofsui cide?Iknowt hatIdon'twantt o
clai
m anyr elationtosomeonel i
kethat.
"
Howdiditgowit
htheDoctor
?"AskNqubeko'
s
mot
herbefor
esheevenappearsf
rom t
hepassage.
"I
[Link]
aket
hepi
ll
s,restandtr
y
nott
ot hi
nkaboutmyf amil
ywhi
chi
sratherhard"I
expl
ain.
"
That
'
[Link]
ythi
ngi
[Link]
'sr
eal
ly
[Link] i
sisishardnott
othinkabout
[Link]
eepingwi llal
sohelpwit
hlessthinki
ng"
shesuggestsbef oreshelooksatCeli
weandt hen
backtheboys"Whenyouar edoneeati
ngcomet o
meIhavesomet hingtokeepyoukidsbusyf ora
l
itt
lewhil
e"shesmi l
esandt henwal
ksout.
"I
t'
sthecart
[Link]
evesthatkidsshouldbe
al
lowedtowatchcart
[Link] busy"
saysSontobefor
[Link] oo.
Sometimesgrownupdoseet hesi mplestthi
ngswe
overl
ooksomet i
mes.
Nqubekowalksi
nwiththepl
ast
icbagsandt
ellt
he
ki
dsthati
t'
sthei
rtr
eat.
"
Thankyouf
ort
his"Ipoi
ntt
hepl
ast
ics.
"I
t'
snot hi
[Link] aissleepi
ng.I
fyouneedt osl
eep
Ithinkyouwi llf
itinthecouchint
helounge.I'
m
goingt oMl uleki
.I'l
lbebackwithPhil
i"hedoesn'
t
waitf ormet osayanyt hi
ngashekissesmycheek
andl eavequi [Link]
ookatSontoandsheshr ugs
beforeshef ocusonherbaby' smil
k.
*
****
*
*
****
*

Thedaygoesbyf ast
.Imaket hefireandboi lsome
watersothekidscanbathinawar mr [Link]
watchedTVunt ilt
heysl
eptinf r
ontofi tandt henI
hadtobecr uelandwakethem upf [Link]
boysarequiettheydon'
tevent easeeachot heror
playwrest
li
[Link] ayingwi t
hSont o'
s
[Link]'tbeenbackwi thmycousi n
andDabulawokeupandt alkedtoNqubeko' sf ather
whenhecamebackf rom t
hechi [Link]'thad
ti
met oaskhim whattheytalkedaboutyet .
Asthekidsbat
hIsearchthebagsforthei
rcl
othes
andalsotakei
nmyt hi
ngsfrom t
helaundryl
ine
bef
oreIhavetodoitwit
hDabulaintheroom.
AsIleavetheroom anot
hercardri
vesinandIcan't
seewhoi ti
sbecausethewindowsaredarkbut
whenitstopsNqubekogetsoutfol
lowedbyMluleki
andthenPhili
.
Nqubekot
akest
hem t
othel
oungewher
etheel
der
s
areandIam f
orcedt
obepat i
entaboutt
hisbecause
IhavetoshowsomerespectbutdeepdownIam
dyingt
oknowwhataretheydoing.
Imanaget ogettheboysalldr
essedwhil
eCeli
we
dresseshersel
fandthenSontobringst
hem f
oodso
theycaneatwhileit
'sst
il
lwarm.
Phi
liwalksi
nafterawhi
[Link]
lentl
ymove
cl
osetoherasshesitsdownont hegrassmat.
Sontohandsthemebabyandl eavetheroom.
"Thankyouf
ort
aki
ngcar
eoft
hem"saysPhi
li
quiet
ly.
"
It
'sfi
[Link]
[Link]
dbe
t
ooifIwast hem"Irepl
yandl
ookatCeli
[Link]
s
j
ustnibbl
ingherfood.
"Iam scaredtoo"sher
epli
esandwi
pet
het
ear
s
befor
et hekidscanseethem.
"
Haveyouhear
danyt
hingf
rom t
hem?
"
"[Link]
sowenttot
hepol
[Link]
noideatheydi
dthattoyout
ooThembeka.I
thoughti
twasjustmeandItr
iedmybesttomove
[Link]
orgetever
ythi
[Link]
urns
outit'
snotj
[Link] hi
st ofamil
y?To
anotherhumanbeing?Tot heki
ds?!!
"Shestar
ts
rai
singhervoiceandbothboyslookupather.
"
Hegotwhathedeser
ves"Iwhi
sperandpoket
he
f
ir
ewit
hastick.
"Hegotoffl
ight
[Link]
"she
addsandtakesthespoonfrom theboyandstart
feedi
ngthem [Link]
iwealsostar
tseat
ingher
food.

*
****
*
*
****
*

Nqubekosolvest [Link] e
sl
eepingont hefloorinhisroom becausehe
doesn'twanthisbrothershavinganythingto
complainaboutwhent heyhearweusedt hei
r
[Link]
erstogof i
ndapl acetoobook
i
ntobutNqubeko' smot herisnothearingitsohe
staysandhei sgoi
ngt osharethebedwi t
hDabula.
Theygiveusver yt
hickspongesandwesl eepi
nthe
l
oungei nNqubeko'[Link] lt
heki
dssl eepbut
therestofusstayupandt rytotal
kabout
everyt
hingelsebutthesit
uati
onwear [Link]
l
asleepfi
rstandonlywakeupwhenIf eelNqubeko'
s
armspul l
ingmebackt ohim.
"Morning"hespeaksandIopenmyeyestochecki
f
i
t'
sr eal
lyist
hemor ni
[Link]
eell
ikeIj
ustcl
osedmy
eyes.
"Sosoon"Icompl
ainandcl
[Link]
l
aughsandpullsmeevencl
oserandt
hentakeme
handtohis.
"[Link]
yoneisup.I
tsj
ustus"he
whisperst
hatl
astli
neandthenmyhandt ouches
hishardon.
"
Youarenotget
ti
ngsexf
rom [Link]
geti
t"It
ake
myhandaway.
"
[Link]
f
ucki
ngli
kerabbi
tsforsol
[Link]'
tchange
t
herul
esnow"hekissesmyear.
"
[Link]
dmeaboutt hi
s
Nqubeko"Ipoi
ntundert
[Link]'m
t
alki
ngaboutthegunbecauseIsawhim puti
tther
e
l
astnight
.
"Ithi
nkIdidandyou'
veseeni
tmorethanonce"he
stopstouchi
ngmeandlayonhisback.
"Butyoudi dn'
ttellmeyouactuall
yusei t
.Thatyou
andMl ulekiareintosomegangt hi
[Link] hatcar
[Link]'
snotyourcarandMl ulekicar
ri
es
mor [Link] hingtell
smeyoual so
carrymor [Link] eyou?"Ipointat
him beforesit
tingupsoIcanl ookdownathi m.
"I
'
m [Link] fIcar
rymorethanonegun
whenIfeelt
hreat
ened"hesmi l
esl
ikei
tssomekind
ofajoke.
"SoyouandMlul
ekiar
enotj
ustf
ri
[Link]
syour
part
neri
ncri
me"
"Heismyf r
[Link] ri
endsand
Thembeka,carryi
ngorowningsever algunsdoesn't
meanI'
m agangst [Link]
dsdot [Link]
prot
ect
[Link]
ectionisrequir
ed"heis
expl
aini
ngl
ikeheistal
kingtoachi
[Link]
yachi
ld
wouldbuysomethi
nglikethi
s.
"
Howmanypeopl
ehaveyoushot
?"Thesmi
leonhi
s
f
acei
sgone.
"Don'
taskquest
ionsl
iket
hatThembeka.I
t'
snot
all
owed"
"Ithi
nkIdeser [Link]
getti
[Link] erwi
fe
Nqubekol i
vingmyl i
feinsomebubbl ebecause
someonei sal waysreadyt opopitforsome
revengetheinnocentpeopl egetdraggedint
o,i
n
thesegangst erl
ifest
yles"hestar
esatmeandsays
nothingforamoment .
"Ihaveafamilythatneedsmef ullt
[Link]
pregnancythat'
sstart
ingt [Link]'t
haveenoughspacet ol earnandmemor i
zethe
codesofthegangwor l
dl i
kethosehardcoregang
wives"Iconti
nuejustincasemypoi ntdi
dn'tr
each
thedesti
nati
onitwasdi r
ected.
"I
'
m [Link]
opsayi
ngt
hat
.
Youarei
nsult
ingme"
"
Ifnott
henwhatar
eyou?Acr
imi
nal
?"Iwhi
sper
.
Hel
ookwoundedashel
ooksaway.
"[Link] hatyoudidt
hingsi
nyourpast
.I'
m
notjudgingyoubutNqubekoyoucameoutbet ter
.
Youar eabusinessmanandyouar edoi
[Link]
whywoul dyousetyoursel
fbackbydoi
ngshady
thi
ngsi nthedark?"
"Ifyoumustknow, Idon' tdoshadydeal ingsi nthe
corner .Iam forcedtocar rygunswi t
hmebecause
i
'm alwayst hinking'Ihavet ogobackt oThembeka'
soIcan' taf
fordtobeoutt hereunarmedj ustin
casesomeonedeci dest ot [Link] here
arepeopl ewhowoul dl ovet [Link]
don'twantt obegoneandl eaveyouhereal one.
Doest hatmakemeacr i
mi nal?Idon'[Link]
knowt hatdeepi nsi
demei tmakesmeal over.
Someonewhol ovessomeonesomucht heydon' t
hesitatewheni tcomest ot hem andtheysaf etyand
happi ness"her epli
esqui cklyandthenget sup.I '
m
touchedbecauseIdi dn'tseet hisconversation
goingt hisway.
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
dn'
tmeant
oof
fendyou"
"
Butyoudi
d"hedoesn'
tevenl
ookatme.
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
ustaski
ngsoIcanknow"
"Knowwhat ?Youaccusedmeofbeingagangst er
andt henyousayIam acr i
minal
.Doesn'tsoundli
ke
ar andom questi
[Link]
forwayst odumpmebecauseIhappent oown
someguns"whenhesayst haticanfeelmy
stomacht wisti
[Link]'
twantustohaveaf ul
l
blownf i
[Link].
"
I'
m sorr
[Link]'
twantabr
[Link]
ust
wantedtoknow"
Hestopsfi
xinghi
sbeltandl
[Link]
deepbreat
handpullmeupandthenwesitonthe
couch.
"I
'
m notagangst er .Suresometimesidofind
myselfhavi ngtodealwi t
hsomeshadyt hingsbut
i
t'
sbusi [Link] ness,alotcanhappen
Thembekasopr otectionisal
waysabet t
eroption.
Doigoar oundabusi ngpeopleandmakinglife
unbearablef orothers?Noidon' t
.Ever
yonei '
ve
ki
ll
edgavemear easonf
oritanditwaseitherme
[Link]'swhoiam andyouareli
vingina
[Link]
edwhenwegot
mar r
iedsoit'
smyjobtotakecareofi
tandmake
sureitdoesn'
tpopnomat t
erwhat"
Chapt
er58

Nqubeko

Dabul a,myf atherandt heChiefwantsameet ing

witht [Link] dson
author i
tywheni tcomest ot
heChiefandmyf ather
soIj ustnodandof fertodri
vepeopletoDanny
[Link] eavet heladiesathomeanddr i
vet o
Daltonwi thMl ul
eki,Dabulaandmyf [Link]
gnor e
hissuggest i
onofcal l
inguncl
eJosiaht ocomewi t
h
[Link] tuationisbadenoughwi thouthim acting
l
ikeheknowsi tall
.
Wel eaveDlebequi
etl
yandthesi
lencelastunti
lwe
reachDalt
[Link]
ttl
epathl
eadi
ngt ot
het heir
homei scrowdedwithcar
[Link]
st her
e
al
readyandtheirChiefi
salsother
eandthereal
surpr
iseist
[Link] t
enoughtocallt
hepol i
cejusti
ncasethi
ngsgetout
ofcontr
ol.
Weexitt
hecarandf
oll
oweachothert
otheyard.
Mlul
ekit
akeshi
shatof
fandIal
mostlaughathim
f
orthi
s.
"
Thethugsfr
om Dur
ban"someoneyel
lsandIact
l
ikei
'
m nothear
ingt
hem.
Theypickedthear eaundert hetr
[Link] kt her
e
andtaketheavailablechairswhiletheladiesar e
si
tti
ngont hegrassmat [Link] heladies
wouldn'
tbeallowedt oattendbutIguessIam
wrongbutIam gl adthatIleftThembekabehi nd.I
don'
twantpeopl ediggingintotheirol
dwounds.
Wesitdownandthequietconver
sati
ondiesdown.
Theysi
ngtheprai
sesforbothChief
sbeforet
he
meeti
ngstar
ts.
Someonefrom theKhumalo'
siscal
ledfor
wardt
o
[Link] or
ward.
"
ThankyouNdabezi
[Link]
ami
lywasat
tackedby
theset hugsfr
om [Link]
ll
edmy
fatherandmybr ot
her
"hepointatusandpeopl
e
starttalki
ngatthesame.
"Qui
etpl
ease"saysthel
ocalChi
efhi
svoi
ce
soundi
[Link]
esdownandhenodst
o
Sdumotocontinue.
"[Link]
dsi nsi
dethe
bedroom andpull
edoutgunstomyf atherand
uncles"hecont
[Link]
ulekimumblessomething
underhisbreat
h.
"
Didyoucal
lthepol
ice?
"Askst
heChi
ef.
Sdumolooksuncomfor
tabl
eforamomentbef
ore
hestar
tsst
utt
eri
ng.
"Wecan'[Link]
easespeakupMrKhumal
o"
saysourChief.
"
Nowedi
dn'
tNdabezi
tha"her
epl
ies.
"
Didtheytel
lyouwhyt heyatt
ackedthefami
ly?
"
[Link]
womenhei slookingt
owardsalsolookdown.
"
PleasespeakupMrKhumal
o"sayst
hel
ocalChi
ef
[Link]
ooksatmeandI
star
ebackathi
[Link]
'
llai
mfor
whenIshoothi
m.
"Phil
iisacheapwhor eeveryoneinthisplaceknows
i
t..
..
..
"Hedoesn'tfi
nishbecauseMl ulekii
sof ft
he
chairandischar
gingtowardshi [Link]
betweenusar ef
astsot heystophim beforehe
reachesSdumo.
"
Orderpl
ease"yel
lst
hemannextt
otheChi
ef.
"Getyourhandsof
fme"saysMl
ulekipushi
ngt
he
handsoffhim.
"
Sit
"sayst
hepol
icemanj
oini
ngi
n.
"Nx"saysMlul
ekibef
orehewal ksbackt
ohischai
r.
Itr
ymybestt oremainseri
ousbutdeepdownI
wanttocrackupwithlaught
[Link].
Thenoisest
opsandtheChi
efsi
gnal
sSdumoto
cont
[Link]
earhi
sthr
oatandl
ookathi
saunt
s.
"Theywer
eaccusi
ngt hem ofsexual
lyabusingPhi
li
andThembeka.I
t'
[Link]
iwassleepingaround
whenshewasstil
linprimaryschool
"continues
Sdumo.
"
IsPhi
liher
e?"Askst
hel
ocalChi
ef.
"[Link]
hem inDl
ebe"herepl
[Link]
noisestar
tsagainbuttheChi
efrai
seshishandto
stopit
.
"
Whoi
shi
dingt
hem i
nDl
ebe?
"AsksourChi
ef.
"
Them"hepoi
ntsatme.
"MrMbonambipleaseri
se"sayst
heChi
[Link]
upbecausehecan'tbet
alki
ngaboutmyfather.
"
Ndabezi
tha"Isayl
oudenoughf
oral
lthef
acest
o
f
ocusonme.
"Canyoutel
[Link]
ngtothe
att
ackontheKhumalofamil
y"saysthelocalChi
ef
l
ookingatmeupanddown.
"If
oundoutthatThembekawassexual l
yassault
ed
asachil
[Link] r
iendandIcameovert ofindout
[Link] ri
veditt
urnedoutt hatMr
Khumalodidn'tonlyabuseThembekabutheal so
molest
edPhiliandr apedhisowngr anddaughter
.
Shetookherownl i
fe"sever
alvoi
cesexcl ai
m and
f
ewmenst
artspeaki
ngi
ndi
sappr
ovi
ngvoi
ces.
"
Didyoureportt
othepol
iceMrMbonambi
?"Asks
t
helocalChi
ef.
"NoNdabezi t
[Link] [Link]
edmyf ri
endt o
comeandhel pmeconf rontthef amil
yaboutt [Link]
theti
mei twasjustmywi [Link],mysoon
gir
lf
ri
[Link] vor
cedawhi lebackbutgot
backtogetheraft
erworkingthingsout"Iexplain.
"
Youcamear medandshotthem inst
eadofcal
li
ng
t
hepoli
ce"sayst
heChiefsoundingli
keheisgoi
ng
t
ostar
tblamingmeforeveryt
hing.
"[Link] egoingt oconfrontt hem andthencal l
[Link] ri
vedweaskedt hekidst o
l
eaveandaskedt hem [Link] ytruth
cameoutandSnqobi leappear edf r
om thekitchen.
Wedi dn'tknowshewast hereatal l
.Sheshotand
kil
ledthem becauseherdaught ertookherownl i
fe
aftershewasabusedbyhergr andf at
[Link] dn't
[Link] ditoutofangerandIf ully
supportherf ordoingwhatIwant edtodomysel f
"
thereisnoneedt ol i
eandactl i
keIwasn' thoping
f
ort
hatoutcome.
"Butyoudoknowt hatt
akingt
helawi
ntoyourown
handsisnotgood"saystheChief
.
"Soisrapi
ngthekidsi
nthefamil
y"Idon'
teven
star
edownf orthi
[Link]
oknowt hatIdon'
t
careaboutwrongorri
ghtshei
tcomest oexposi
ng
theperver
ts.
TheChiefnodsandl
ookatourChi
efasifhei
s
tel
li
nghimitshi
stur
ntoaskmequesti
ons.
"WhenSnqobi
leshotherfat
herwhatdidyoudo
next
?"[Link]
indthi
sirr
elevantbutIhavet
o
answer
.
"
Snqobi
leandIfoughtforthegunbecauseshe
want
edtoshoothersel
[Link].
Wehurr
iedhert
ot hehospitalandlef
tthef
amily"
"ThankyouMrMbonambi
"sayst
heChi
[Link]
sitbackdown.
"
MrDabulaKhumal
opl
easecomef
orwar
d"sayst
he
l
ocalChi
ef.
Dabul
aget
supandwal
kst
othef
ront
.Hel
ooksl
ike
achi
ldt
hather
eal
lyi
s.
"
Ndabezi
tha"hesayssof
tl
y.
"Yourhomewasburneddownandyouwer e
att
[Link]
elluswhathappened"cont
inues
theChief
.
Dabulaexplai
nsthatwhent heycamebackf r
om t
he
hospit
altheyfoundSdumoandhi stwofri
ends
wait
[Link] m [Link]
d
them t
heywer enolongerfamilyandthatthey
[Link]
imanagedt opackup
whil
etheywentt obeatDabulaupbehi ndtheschool
.
Ahandgri
pmykneeandIr eali
zet hatmyhandsar e
cl
osedtofi
[Link]
e
[Link]
phi
mt [Link] ul
ekipushes
[Link] mosttouched
[Link]
opmenow.
Dabulaconti
nuestotel
lthestor
yandhowt hekids
weremanhandl [Link] hey
punchedS'nqobil
eandalmostbrokePhili
'
sar [Link]
star
tsweepingwhenher ecal
lshowtheywat ched
thei
rhomebur ndownandt otopallt
hattheydidn'
t
evenknowthereasonbecauset
heyl
iveal
oneand
excl
udedbythefamil
y.
Thisti
meIi gnor
eMl ul
ekiasIgetupandl aunch
myselftoSdumobef oretheyevenr eal
izeit
.I
managet ogetfourpunchesinbef orethe
poli
cement ackl
[Link] rytobr eakawayf r
om
them butthesemenknowwhatt heyar edoingsoI
stopfight
ingandall
owt hem t
odr agmeawayf rom
thegroup.
"
Chi
ll
"sayst
hemangi
vingmeahar
dlook.
"
Justgetof
fme"Idustt
hegr
assof
fmypant
s.
Ican'
thearverywellnowandmyear
sar
eri
ngi
ng
becauseIam pissedoff
.

*
****
*
*
****
*

Themeet i
nggoest
oabr eakandpeoplearet
oldwe
wil
[Link]
yonegetsupand
st
artmovingtodi
ff
erentdir
ecti
[Link]
kbackto
[Link]
ikesheis
sleepi
[Link]
ewakingherupbutshewon'tletme
hangupnow.
"
Soyouar ecomingback?
"Sheasksaf
terIf
ini
sh
t
ell
ingherever
ythi
ng.
"[Link]
ookat
wohourbr
[Link]
eaten?"
"[Link]
sagreatgrandmot
her.
Thekidsarethr
il
ledt
ohaveherfussi
ngaboutthem"
"
I'
m gl
adt
heyar
eset
tl
ingdown"
"Theyar
[Link]
[Link]
havetobefinef
irstandt
hentheywi
llalsobeokay"
sherepl
[Link]
indmyselfsmil
ing.
"
Gobackt
osl
eepmyl
ove.I
'
llcal
lyoul
ater
"
"
Assoonasyouar
[Link]
omi
se"
"
Ipr
omi
[Link]
ove"
"ByeMbonambi "sheendst hecal
[Link]
[Link]'tgetover
Dabula'
stear
[Link] sjustachil
dandt hensome
overgrowncowar ddecidestoatt
[Link]
needsal
[Link]
iousl
esson.
Imakeacal
ltoThubaandheanswer
saf
terawhi
le.
"It
houghtyouwerei
nameeti
ngwi
tht
heChi
ef"he
soundsli
keheisdri
ving.
"I
tsrubbi
[Link]
ngt hesamethi
[Link]
gladtheladiesar
[Link]
ngexpect
ed
torecal
lthingsyout
ri
edtof orget
"
"That
'
sthebit
terpar
[Link]
ngt
otel
lthest
oryover
andover
.It
'ssounfai
r"
"Tellmeabouti [Link]
p"Isi
tup
straightandchecki ft
hereisanyonecl
osetothe
[Link] ei
sn'tandIcanseeMl uwithDabul
aand
myf athert
alki
ngt osomelocalmen.
"
Shoot
"
"Sdumoi
[Link]
nJohannesburg.I
needtot
eachhi
m alessonhewi
llnevereverf
orget
"
"Li
kewhat
?"AsksThubasoundi
ngmor
eint
erest
ed
now.
"Anyt
[Link]
ngphysicalt
ohi
[Link]
somethingthathewi
llhavenochoi
cebutt
oweep
whenhet hi
nksabouti t
.Maybet heni
'l
lputhi
m out
ofhismi seryandki l
lhim whenhei sdownandout"
DabulaandPhi l
[Link]'
tcount
ThembekabecauseIam [Link] aand
Phil
ididn'[Link] t
ha
wrongf amily.
"I
'
llseewhatIcangetandl
[Link]
akeyou
needthi
ssoon?"Heasks.
"Ver
[Link]"Iendt
hecallj
ustasmyphone
beepindi
cat
ingandincomingcal
l.I
t'
sal
andl
ineso
Ianswer.
"
Yes"
"Hi
,am Ispeaki
ngt
oMrMbonambi
?"Asksaf
emal
e
voi
ce.
"Yesyouar
[Link]
e?"Idon'
trecogni
zet
he
voice.
"I
'
m call
ingfr
om Nkonj
enihospi
tal
.Mynamei
s
Li
hle.I
tsaboutMissFanel
eKhumalo"
"
Issheokay?
"
"
I'
m af
rai
dIcan'
tsayovert
[Link]
o
comei
nSi
r"sher
epl
ies.
"I
'
llbet
her
enow"Iendthecal
landst
artt
hecar
.
Thebabycan'
tdi
[Link].
Chapt
er59

Myl egsar eheavyast hedoctormovesasidetolet

mei ntot heint
ensi vecar eunit
.Idon'
tgeti
[Link]
bulletmi ssedt hemaj ororgans,t
hebabywasf ine
andnowt heheartbeati [Link]?Thedoct or
explai nedbutst i
llitjustdoesn'tmakeanysense.I
takeadeepbr eathandwal ki
[Link].
Shei ssleepingIt [Link]
dbutIguess
thecol dnessisthel astthingoneveryone'
smi nd
rightnow.
SheopenshereyesasIstepcl
[Link]
arer
[Link]
mmediatel
yf i
llwi
tht
ears
andtheyr
unfreethemomentsheblinks.
"I
'
m sosorryFanel
e"Iwhi
sperbef
orehol
dingher
[Link]
drybutwarm.
"Thankyouforcomi
ng"shewhisper
sbackand
therei
sasmi l
eonherfacebutshei
ssti
llcr
ying
"Theycan'
tfi
ndaheart
beatsotheywanttotakethe
babyout"
"
Welostthebaby"Isaywesoshecanseet hatshe
i
[Link]
'[Link]
n
t
hefi
rstplacebutgotusedt owait
ingf
orbecauseI
wasr
eadyf oreveryt
hingthatcameaft
er.
"
It'
[Link]
[Link]
f
inebefore"
Idon'
[Link]
inueto
hol
dherhandasshecontinuestocr
[Link]
e
hercr
iesgoqui
etandIcoverherhandswi t
hmine.
"WhenIwasoutshoppi ngtheot [Link]
acrossthisbigt r
[Link]
retruckandIt houghtto
mysel f
.SoonI '
llbebuyingt
hesef orourkid.I
thoughthemi ghtwantt obeaf i
[Link]
[Link] buyingt hetr
uck
remember ingthatitwil
lbeyearsbeforehest art
s
playingwithit
"Ismi l
eatthememor yastearsstart
i
nmyowneyes.
"Iboughtfewthi
[Link]
cecarbecauseI
thoughthewil
llovet
helight
sasababyandt he
l
ovet [Link] eso
manyt hi
[Link]
somehowIal waysst
oppedbeforegoingtofar"she
exhalesanhernoseisrunni
ng.
Ireachoverandhandhersomet i
ssuesnextt oher
[Link]
oher
[Link] hen
continuet
owipeherfacewitht
heot herti
ssues.
"DoIlookbet
ternow?"Sheaskshervoi
cesoundi
ng
clear
erthant
helastt
womi nutes.
"Youlookgood"Ievensmil
ehopi
ngitwil
lcheerher
[Link],Fanel
eisn'
tugl
yatal
[Link]
defi
nit
elymeetsomeoneavail
abl
eandfalli
nlove.
"Thanks"shesmil
esbutIcan'
thel
pthi
nkingthe
smileisn'
tforme"HaveyouseeS'
nqobi
le?"
"[Link]
lli
npolicecust
ody"Idon'
tadd
thatIhavemyl awyersinvol
vedsotheycangether
offwithalight
ersentence.
"
Whenyoudoseeher
.Tel
lherIf
orgi
veher
.Iknow
shewouldn'
[Link]'
tbeablet
o
seehergototr
ialbutI
'
llbet
hinki
ngabouther
"
"I
'l
ltel
lher
.Pl
usIdoubtshewi l
lbegoingt
otri
al
[Link]
lbe
recover
edbythen"Isuggest
.
"[Link]?I tmustbehard
havingtofi
ndoutthatt
hefamilyisr
ottenandcruel
"
Icanseethedisgusti
nherface.
"
ShewasshockedbutThembekai sstrongerthan
weal
lreal
[Link]
llbounceback"Idon'tmenti
on
t
hepr
egnancyt oher
.Itwouldbecrueltodothat.
"Yeahshewil
[Link]"she
smilesandhereyesremai
ndr y.
"ThankyouforLett
ingmeknowaboutt he
[Link]'tgett
obepar entsbutthefact
thatyoucamef or
war dmeansal ot"It
rynottothink
abouttheugli
nessoft hesi
tuat
ionwheni tbegan.
"
[Link]
dyougetmeanur
[Link]
hinkIam
r
eadynow"
Inodandgot
olookf
oranur
[Link]
indt
wonur
ses
standi
ngoutsideanditseemsIcaughtt hem ona
[Link] hem
toseeFaneleandshehur ri
[Link]
ollow
herandstopdeadonmyt rackswhenIheart hat
sound.
Thenurseyel
lssomethi
ngandIlookovert
othe
[Link]
e'
seyesareclosed.
"Excuseme"someonebumpst omeandIst ep
asideonlytobumpt osomeoneel seandt hena
handonmyar ml eadsmet [Link] se
smi l
esandl eavemet owaitout
[Link]
andwal kovert [Link] ndgoi ngbacki nt
o
theconversationwi t
[Link] nher
moodandt hent hewayshecl eanedher selfup
whenhernosewasr unni
[Link] i
ngsand
i
t'sMl ul
eki
.
"
Mhm"t
hat
'sal
lIsay.
"
Aybowher
eareyou? "HeasksandIrememberj
ust
t
ypi
[Link]'
tremembersendi
ngit
.
"Thehospi
tal
.It
'sFanel
e"Ir
[Link]
doctori
swalki
[Link]
upbefor
eput
ti
ngt
hephonei
nmypocketwi
thout
hangi
ngup.
"Howisshe?
"Iaskt
hedoct
orandhesl
owl
yshakes
hishead.
"
I'
m sor
ryMrMbonambi
"
"
Sheisdead?
"Ist
areathi
mjusti
ncasemyhear
ing
i
swrong.
"
[Link]
tst
opped"
Istareatthedoct orforamomentandt henwal k
pasthimt owal kbacki [Link] [Link]
i
sbusyf i
[Link] h
stepasideasIwal kcloserandpul lt
hesheetback.
Herfacel [Link] essedtogetherand
hereyescl [Link] oucheshercheekand
theyarecol [Link] oherneckandhernecki s
sti
llabitwar m butIknowi twil
lgocol dtooina
moment .
"Gowel [Link]
eofourbaby"Iwhisper
[Link]
kashortdist
anceand
[Link]
'sli
keIcanhearNobuhle'
sevill
augh.
Rejoici
ngt hatshemanagedtoyankmyl if
eonce
mor
e.
"Sor
ry"sayssomeoneast heybumpt [Link] ur
n
andtheDoctorstaresatmeinshockbef oreshe
hurr
[Link]
arbutrightnowmy
minddoesn'tevenwanttobothertothinkwhoshe
i
sandwhyshei [Link] ogo
backthereandletever
yoneknowt hatFaneleis
gone.

******
******

Imanaget omakei tt
oDaltonbeforethemeeti
ngi s
fi
[Link] at
herlookingatmewith
di
sappr [Link]
ulekifr
ownsbutsaysnot hi
[Link]
aseatnextt ohi
m andsaysnot [Link]
i
sgi venachancet ospeak.
"Iapologi
zef
orthedelay.I
t'
sbeenal [Link]
avoidanyfur
therdelaysi
'l
ljustgetst
rai
ghtint
oit.
Wef indMrMlulekiandMrMbonambigui ltandthey
willbefi
[Link]' tgoi ntoaman' s
housear medandr eadytotakethelawi ntoyour
[Link] hereisaproblem your eportt
o
policeorevencomet [Link] oattackt hefamil
y"
therearevoicesagreei
[Link] chSdumo' s
eyeandhel aughs.
"Regardi
ngtheissueont heKhumal ohousehold.
Theshootingandt heinjuri
ngofMi ssFanele
Khumal owewillleavethattothepolice"agai
nI
catchSdumogr inningwhi l
elooki
ngatmebutIst i
ll
remainseated.
"Theissueoft heat tackonMrDabul a'sfami l
yand
thebur ningdownt heirhomeIst ronglyadvi ceMr
Dabul at ogol ayachar geont hepol i
cesoMr
Sdumoandhi sfriendscanbehel daccount ablefor
theat t
[Link] last heattackonMi ssPhi l
elwa
andMi ssS' [Link] eagainstviolenceand
attackingtwoyoungwomeni [Link]
Iwi l
lstronglyadvi cet hatthecasei sopenedand
thosei nvolvedf acet hej ust
icesystem.I nthis
communi t
ywear eagai nstGenderBasedVi olence
andIar guewi thever yoneher ethatifyouknowt hat
someonei sviolati
ngachi ldorawomanyouhave
[Link]' tlookawaybecausei t'
sf amily
oraf r
[Link] ctimsar efami l
yt ooandf orcing
them tofacet heirabuser sondai lybasi sandact
l
ikeit'
sokay, doesn' tonlysi l
entlykillthem buti t
doest hi
ssl owlyandpai [Link] vest obe
forcedtolovet heirabuser [Link]'
scr uelt of or
cet hat
onpeopl [Link] sshoul dbeexposedand
removedf rom soci [Link]' tdeser vet ol i
ve
[Link]' tdeser vet obepr otect edunder
keepingthef ami l
ynamecl [Link] el iket hat
don'tdeservet obepr ot
ect [Link] esul tI'
ve
decidedtobani sht heKhumal ofami lyint hisar ea.
Theyhaveexact ly72hour st oleavet hiscommuni ty
andneversetf oother eagai n"
Thenoisebreakout
.Thewomencr yandthemen
[Link]'sf
aceisf
[Link]
e
hecatchesmyeyesbeforewinki
ngathim.
"Sil
ence"t
hepol
[Link] e
unifor
medmenst epscl
oserreadyifanyf
ight
breaksout.
Thenoi
sedi
esdown.
"From nowonIam goi ngt omakesur et hatal lthe
kidsarepr [Link] t
ingwi thmaki ngsur et hat
theyareal latschool .Iknowt hatt hi
sf ami l
ywas
keepingKwandaf rom goi ngt oschoolsohecan
l
ookaf terthegoat sdur i
ngt [Link] kingcl osel
y
withtheschoolwemanagedt onot i
fyt he
authorit
iesandbecauseKwandadoesn' thaveany
parents,hismot herdi edt woyear sandwe' vet ri
ed
totracehi sfatherwithnol uck,soast hel eader s
andt heeldersoft hecommuni t
ywedeci dedt o
agreewhent hesoci alwor kersuggest edaf oster
homef ort [Link] hi
sevenmor ehear t
war ni
ngi sthattheboywi llremaini nthi sar easo
wecanal lwat chhim gr [Link] m andMrDabul a
andMi ssPhi lelwawi llbet heonl ymember soft he
Khumal of amilythatwi llremai npar toft his
communi [Link] llhelpt hem r ebuildt heirhome"
Mlulekiget
stohi
sfeetandt
heChi
efst
ops
speaking.
"Sor
rytoi
nter
[Link]
lbetaki
ngDabulaand
Phil
elwat
oDur banwithusSi
r"ever
yonest
aresat
himinshock.
"
Mr.
..
"St
art
sChi
ef
"
Justcal
lmeMl ul
eki
"her epl
iesandotherpeopl
e
l
aughwhileot
herswhisperabouthi
slackof
manneri
sm.
"MrMlul
eki
.Howar eyour
elat
edt
othi
sfami
ly?
"
Ther
eismorelaughter
.
"
It
saveryl
ongstor
yNdabezi
tha"her
epl
iesandI
t
hinkt
heChi
efdoesn'
tknowhowtotr
eatthi
sone.
"Thenwewillmakeanot
herappoi
ntmentandt
alk
abouti
t"hesaysatl
ast.
"Ndabezit
ha"saysMlul
ekisi
tt
[Link]
areat
him andhehisses"
shutup"befor
eIevenopenmy
mout h.
"We'vejustr
ecei
[Link] ssFaneleandher
unbornbabyhavepassedon"sayst heChiefaf
ter
tal
kingquiet
lywit
hhisri
[Link] eare
fewgaspsandt hencri
[Link]
aredownatmyhands
andt r
ynottothi
[Link]
lowedour
baby.
"
Sot
hisi
showt
hisi
sgoi
ngt
ogodown?
"Asks
Sdumohisvoicemanagingtostopal
lthenoi
[Link]
al
llookupathim ashestandsup.
"
Sdumo"sayst
heChi
ef.
"[Link]"hesnapsand
Iseemenstepclosert
ohim butt
heChiefstops
them.
"
Lethi
m speak"hesaysandSdumot
urnst
ome.
"It
'sfunnyhowyouar enowact ingl i
keagoodman
whenyouar enotdif
ferentfrom myf ather
.Youar e
ar api
stt [Link] ri
edThembekawhenshej ust
[Link] dhergreedyuncl esacoupl eofcows
soyoucanhavesexwi thachi l
dandl etherplay
wifeinsteadofpl ayi
ngwi t
hdol [Link] socouldn't
l
ethert ur n21beforeyoust art
edf uckingher .Ask
peoplei [Link] llt
ellyouhowi twas
sadt oseeamanmar ryachi ld20year syounger
thanhi m andshewasj ust18year [Link] i
ed
throughoutt heweddingcer emonyandshecoul d
har dl
ywal [Link] [Link] e
nobet terthanotherrapist
sMbonambi .Atleast
theydon' tmarrythem andmaket henf al
linlove
withthem l
ikeyoudi
[Link]
sanamef orthat
.
Stockhol
m [Link]
stli
kemy
fat
herandThembekai syourt
rappedvicti
m"
Chapt
er60

Nqubeko

Wemakei thomelat
eintheevening.I'
m gladt
osee
Thembekaawakeandwat chingTVwi t
hmymot her
andthePhil
[Link]
hergoest ot
hebedroom
becausehecan'
tbeinthesamer oom with
[Link]
fri
endafteral
l.
Wej ointhem andSont
ogoest othekit
chent odish
upourf [Link]'taskwhat
[Link]
t'
[Link] e
wideawakesowecan' tdi
scussanythingseri
ous.
Weeatsi lent
lywhil
emymot herandkidskeep
l
aughi [Link]
onf oral
most30mi nutesbefor
etheyst ar
tfal
li
ng
asleeponebyone.
"
Sohowdi
ditgo?
"AsksSont
ounabl
etowai
tany
l
onger
.
Ial
lowDabul atotellt
hest or
y.I'
m gladhedoesn'
t
mentionSdumo' saccusationsregardi
ngThembeka.
Heiswr [Link]
[Link] ustdidn'
tcommunicatel
ike
couplesbutshewasn' theldagainstherwi
ll
.
"Sowherewil
lFanel
ebebur
iedi
fthef
ami
lyi
s
bani
shed?"AsksSonto.
"Thefamil
ywi llhavetomakeapl [Link] i
atewi
th
theChieft
oatl eastal
lowthem toburyFanel ewit
h
thefamil
yt [Link] heyhaveset t
led
wherevertheyar egoingthentheycanper forma
ceremonyt otaket hem wi
th"explai
nsMl uleki
.
"
Orshecanbebur i
edbyhermot her'ssideoft he
famil
[Link] earesomef amilymember sleft
.They
weren'tclosebutstil
ltheyar eherfami l
yplusshe
wasn'twel comedaspar toft hefami l
[Link]
t
heywer estil
lmakingplansaboutt hatso
t
echnicallysheisstil
lpar tofthatf
ami ly"explains
Dabula.
"WhataboutyouNqubeko?Doyouknowanyt hi
ng
aboutherfamil
y? "Asksmymotherputt
ingmei nto
thespot
light
.IlookatThembekafi
rstandshe
doesn'
tlookli
keshewant st
oburstint
ot ear
s.
"
Idon'
tknowanythi
ngabouther
"Irepl
[Link]
ong
t
imeshewasjustNobuhl
e'
sassist
ant.
"Butshewascar [Link]
dhave
gottoknowher "saysSont oandmymot her
disappr
oves,j
udgi ngbythewayshel ooksather
butshestartt
hist opi
c.
"Si
ncehercar
ryingmybabywasfraudul
entnoone
canblamemef ornotknowi
ngenoughabouther
"I
defendmysel
f.
"Butsti
ll
.Nowshei
sdeadandyouknownot
hing"
pressesSont
o.
"Andherfamil
ywi llburyher.I'
llhel
pfi
nancial
lyi
f
theyneedhelpbutIdoubti [Link] l
lprobabl
y
wanttoshowof faboutsomet hingsohewillwant
tohandleever
ything"IsayanddeepdownIam
hopingIam ri
[Link] adoesn'twanttopress
chargesfort
heassaul tsoSdumoi snotgoingto
j
ail
.It
'snotat
rai
nsmashf ormebecausether
eis
nothi
ngfunaboutdeal
ingwit
hsomeoneinjai
l.I
needhimtobeoutther
eandf r
eewhenIdealwith
hi
m.
"
That'
[Link]
m"says
Mlul
ekinotr
aisinghi
sheadtoseemymother
'sf
ace.
"[Link]
yisdeal
ingwithso
muchal [Link]
eti
[Link]
s"
preachesmymot her
.
Ml
ulekinodsasi
fheagr
eesbutIknowhedoesn'
t.
"
SoS'nqobi
lei
sgoingt
ost
ayi
njai
lunt
ilt
het
ri
al?
"
AsksThembeka.
"Sandilei
sskepti
calaboutthat.S'
nqobil
ecan't
makebai lwit
hnoper [Link]
uswe
l
iveinDur bansowecanputouraddr [Link]
willneedtoremainhereuntilt
hetri
[Link]
chancesar esl
im"Iexplai
nandPhi l
ilookswounded.
"Butsheisgoingtobeokay"addsMl ulekicl
ear
ly
forPhil
i'
sbenefi
[Link]
awillhaveahar dtime
keepingMlul
ekiawayf r
om hissist
er.
*
****
*

Nqubeko

Thesoundoft hedooropeni
[Link]' t
j
umpupi nsteadIslowlymoveThembeka' sarm on
mychestandl [Link]
'sDabul
aandhei s
[Link] susi
nghisphoneasal ight
ersoI
canseet hatheiswear i
[Link]'tget
dressedifyouneedt [Link] s
goingsomewher e.
Igetupandgrabmygunbef oref
oll
[Link]
mooni shugesowherethehousel i
ghtdoesn'
t
[Link]
e
seeinghi
m walkt
owardst hebackofthemain
[Link] her eandfi
ndhim si
tti
ngon
arockleani
ngagai
nstthewal l
.
"Dabul
a"Ispeakf
ir
standheraiseshi
sheadbut
saysnothi
ngbutIcanhearhi
m breat
[Link]
terf
ew
secondsIcant
ellhei
scr
ying.
Il
ookar
oundandspotanot
herr
ocksoIgopi
ckit
upandbri
ngi
tcl
osersowearesit
ti
ngsi
debysi
de.
"Sorr
[Link]
dn'
twantt
ocr
yinf
rontofPhi
li
"hesays
quiet
ly.
"Becauseyouar
eamanandamandoesn'
tcr
y.I
getit
"Irepl
y
"
Andi'
m supposedtobestr
ongf orherandtheki
ds.
Asamani'm supposedt
osolveproblemsandcry
l
ikeagi
rl
"hesaysashest r
ugglestobreat
h.
"Atsomepointweallcryl
ikegirl
sDabula.I
fwall
s
couldtal
ktheywouldtel
lyouthatweallgettot
hat
pointwherewejustwanttoscream t
hepainout.I
t
doesn'tmakeusweak"
"ThenwhydoIfeel
soweak?
"HeasksandIl
ookat
[Link]
ustaboyfor
cedi
ntoaman'
sshoes.
"
Becausether
eissomuchgoi
ngonDabul
[Link]
i
eve
me,If
eelweaktoo"
"Idi
dn'
tknowaboutwhathappenedtoPhi
liandI
don'
tevenknowhowtotalktoherabouti
[Link]
eventalktoherabouti torjustactli
kenothi
ng
[Link] hehomel [Link]
todo?TheChi efofferedtohel pusrebuil
dbuti
t'
s
morethant [Link] [Link]
arepartofthatf amilyandIknowt hatpeopl
ewil
l
alwayslookatusandt [Link]
them f
rom this?"Heasksast hesobsescapehis
chest.
"Wearetaki
ngyout oDur banwit
[Link]
andItal
kedaboutthisandweagr eethatyouneed
[Link] [Link] t
er
chancei
nl i
fe"heopenshi smouthbutIspeak
befor
ehecansayanyt hing.
"Thembekahasahousei [Link]'
sbigenough
foryourfamil
[Link]
sclosebysot hekids
willbefi
[Link] obabl y
havesomepr idesowearegoingtodot hi
seasily"I
wantt ol
aughbutIdon't
.Heisbruisedenough.
"
Easyhow?
"Heasks.
"I
'
llgetyouabursar
[Link]
dswil
l
staywithThembekaandPhi
li
.Onceyouaredone
st
udyingyouwi l
lgetajobandconti
nuetaki
ngcare
ofyourfami
[Link] hathousei
nDurbanhasto
beyourhome"IexplaineventhoughIknowthat
Mlul
ekiwil
lwanttobeamanaboutt hi
saswell.
"
Ineedajob.I
fIcangetaj
obIcantakecar
eof
t
[Link]
ovi
deshel
ter
"
"Whatkindofjobdoyouhavei nmind?Dabula,
thi
ngsar ehardoutt
[Link]
df or
graduatessoyoucanimaginehowhar dtheywil
lbe
[Link]
fi
cati
onso
youdon' twakeupondaywi shi
ngyoudid"
"Sowhi lei
'
m studyingwhataboutmyson?Phil
i?I
can'texpectyouandThembekat otakecar
eofus.
[Link] ookcareof
ourselveswithouthavi
ngtodependonanyone"he
arguesandi tmakesmepr oud.
"Dabul
a,weallgothr
oughhardtimesandneedhel
p.
Wear ethehel
[Link]
ake
i
[Link]
hingel
seyouwil
lfi
gureoutasyougo
along"
"
CanIt
alkt
oPhi
lif
ir
st?
"
"Noprobl
[Link] oleaveinadayort
wo"
henodsandtakesadeepbr [Link]
let
omysel
f.
Hewil
lmakear i
ghtdeci
sion.

*
****
*

Thembeka

Nqubekowakesmeupwithaki
[Link]
sli
pstastes
l
ikecol
gat
eandIpul
lbackwhenhedoesn'
tstop.
"
Theki
ds"Iwhi
sperandt
ryt
olookbehi
ndhimjust
i
ncasesomeonei
sawakeandlooki
ngatus.
"I
t'
saft
er7andt heyareallgone.I
t'
sjustmeand
you"herepli
esandki ssmyl i
psagain.I'
m hor
ny
alr
eadysoIwel comet hekidandslipmyhands
underhi
st -
shir
[Link] l
sawayi najump.
"What
?"Iaskwonderi
ngifhefoughtsomeonet
her
e
andIj
usttouchedt
hebruise.
"
Not
[Link]
hing"hef
rownsand
st
artr
ubbi
nghi
schi
n.
"
Sur
e"
"Haveyoueverf
eltl
ikeyouwerebei
nghel
dagai
nst
yourwil
lwhil
ewewer emarr
ied?"
"Huh?
"Thequest
ioni
ssomet
hingIdon'
t
under
stand.
"[Link]
dyoueverf
eel
li
kei
'
m hol
dingyou
host
age?"
"Hostage?Whywoul
dIf
eell
ikeIwasbeinghel
d
hostage?"Hei
sbei
ngwei
rdrightnow.
"Thembeka.I
'
m 20yearsoldert
[Link] e
youngwhenwegotmar ri
edsoI '
m wonder
ingif
maybeyoudidfeel
li
keyouhavenochoi cebutto
l
ovemeatsomepoi nt"
"[Link]
sthiscomingfrom Nqubeko?Idon't
underst
and"Ist
areathi
m hopi ngt
oseesomet hing
onhisfacesoIcanunderstandwhathei saski
ng
mebutIdon'tgeti
tatall
.
"
Doyoul
oveme?
"
"
Yes"Idon'
tevenhesi
tat
eorbl
inkwhenIr
epl
y.
"Soyouarenotinlovewithmebecauseyouf eel
l
ikeyouhavenochoi ce?
"Icanfeelmysexual
desi
reslowl
ydisappearbecauseIjustdon'
tget
whatexactl
yisNqubekoasking.
"
Whatchoi
ce?
"
Hestaresatmef oramomentandt henleansover
toki
ssmyl [Link]'
tki
sshim backatfi
rstbuthe
doesn'
tstopsoaf t
erfewsecondsIjoi
nin.
Iexpectthequicksexsincewehavet owakeupand
j
ointheot her
sbutNqubekodoesi tslower.I
'm not
complainingthoughbecauseIalwaysfindthe
sensualsexver ysat
isf
yingespeci
all
ywhenhei s
emotionalaboutsomething.

*
****
*

"
Thatwasgood"Iwhisperagai
nsthi
schestwhi
le
t
ryi
ngtocat
chmybr eath.
"
Iloveyou"her
epl
iesbef
oreheroll
soverandt
ake
mewi t
hsoi'ml
ayi
ngonhimi nst
eadofbeneat
hhi
m.
"
Iloveyoumor
e"
"Sdumosai
dyouhadnochoicebutt
ofalli
nlove
withmeaft
erbei
ngf
orcedi
ntomarri
age"hespeaks
aft
eramoment.
Ir
aisemyheadandl
ookathi
m.
"Sothat'
swhyyouareaski
ngmest r
ange
questi
ons?"Henodsandhishandbrushesmyhead.
"
Iknowhewasbei
ngspi
tef
ulbutIcan'
thel
pit
"
"
Meani
ng?
"
Hestaresatmeashishandcont
inuest
omakea
pat
ternonmyface.
"
Wasther
eeverapointwhereyout
houghtabout
r
unni
ngaway?Leavi
ngme? "Heasksatl
ast.
"Runtowher
e?WhenIgotmarri
edNqubekoyou
becamemyhomesoIneverthoughtaboutr
unni
ng
tosomewher
e"
Hedoesn'
[Link]
nut
epassesby
bef
orewrapshisar
msar [Link]
aymyhead
downandlist
entohisheart
beat.
"Themorni
ngaft
[Link]
eyousor
etot
hepoi
ntof
notbei
ngablet
owalk?"
"[Link] hatsor
e?Ithinkyouwer
e
gentl
eenough"Ithi
nkwear eyearslat
etobehavi
ng
thi
sconversat
ion.
"
Andyouwer
escar
ed?
"
"[Link] r
gin
andhadnoi deawhatexactlywascomi [Link]
youaskedmei fIwasokaywit
hi tIsai
dokayandit
wasr eal
lyokay"Icanfeel
him exhaleandhi
shands
ti
ghtenaroundme.
"ThankyouMaKhumal [Link] deahow
muchi tmeansformet ohearyousayt [Link]
Sdumosai dal
lthatIcouldn'thelpwonderingi
fI'
ve
beenlooki
ngatthingsdiffer
[Link]'m
seeingwhatnotthereatall"
"SoSdumoat t
ackedyou?"Iwasli
steninglastni
ght
astheyspokebuttobehonestIdidn'thear
ever
ythi
[Link]'tevenfunny.
"Het
riedt
oimplyt
hati
'
m aper
vertt
ooformarr
ying
[Link]
ngt
hemorni
ngaft
eryouwereso
brui
sedwalkingwasdif
fi
cultf
oryouandt hatyou
onlyfel
linl
ovewit
hmebecauseyouf el
titwasthe
onlyopti
ontogetyourf
reedom [Link]
edit
Stockhol
m Syndr
ome"
"
Stockhol
m syndr
ome?
!"
"
Iwasshockedt
[Link] hi
smorni
ngIstar
ted
wonder
ingi
fIwasn'
tli
vinginaf
antasy"
"Wel
lIhavenoideawhatt
hatimpl
iesbutIknowf
or
sur
ethati'
m wi
thyoubecauseIl
oveyou"
"Eventhoughi
'
m year
soldert
hanyouandyouar e
thi
stinywomannexttome?"Iknowhei st
easi
ng
becauseIcanhearal
aughinhistone.
"Sooni'
[Link]
il
Igainmor eweight
"webothlaughandhishand
reachesloweronmythighbeforeheshi
ftsmeunt
il
myl egsareoneachsideofhim.
"Ican'
twait
.Ithi
nkyouwi l
llookfineevent [Link]
l
thicki
ntheri
ghtplaces"hedropshisvoi ceintoa
sexywhisperandIfindmyselfgiggli
[Link] lsme
upandcover smymout [Link] ssunt i
lI
pullawayandmovemysel flowerunt i
lIfeelhim
har
dagai
nstme.
Ipauseandstareathi
m [Link]
i
swr [Link]'
tknowwhatStockhol
m syndr
omeis
butitcan'
tbethi
s.
"Sowhatareyougoi
ngtodotoSdumo?"Iaskwhi
le
slowl
yloweri
ngmysel
[Link]
shandgrabmy
ass.
"
Makehi
m pay"her
epl
iesqui
ckl
y.
"[Link]
sMbonambi
"Ibal
ancemy
armsonhi sshoul
derssomyboobsareal
moston
[Link]
shandcomesupandpinchestheni
ppl
e
makingmet rembl
ejustabi
t.
"
Fir
stI'
llcl
osehissour
ceofincome"Inodandst
art
movingmywai st
li
netospel
l"C"
"
Andthen?"Iwanttodot
hissl
owl
ybutIcantel
l
t
hatIunderest
imat
edhowmuchIreal
lywantto
r
eachtheorgasm.
"Makesurehehasnofri
endstot
urnto"he
cont
inuesandIcont
inuetomakethe"O"
"
Baby"hewhi
sper
sandhi
shandsgr
ipmyass
har
dert
henbef
ore.
"Andthenwhat?"Idoanot
her"
C"andf
eelmysel
f
begi
nt orush.
"Desper
atepeopl
emakemi
[Link]'
teven
seemecomi ng"
Amoanescapemyownli
pswhenIdothesecond
"
O"andNqubekost
art
smovi
ngbeneat
hme.
"
Andt
hen?
"
"DammitThembeka"hepullshimsel
fupandand
wrapbothhandsaroundmebef orehestarts
movingmeupanddownonhi m unt
ilIst
artshaki
ng
andanintensewaveofpleasur
ewashesoverme.I
holdhi
mt ightasher
eacheshisownor gasm.
"Theni
'l
lki
llhi
m"hewhisper
sinmyearbefor
ehe
takesmedownwithhi
m.I '
mtoooutofbr
eathto
speakandInodandtr
ycalm down.
Chapt
er61

Thembeka
It'
sbeen2mont hssi ncemycousi nsmovedi nwith
me.I t
'sbeenar ealadvent urewat chi ngtheki ds
adj usttoanewenvi ronment .Dabul ast ruggl edat
firstbutaf tertheregul areveni ngdr i
veswi th
Nqubekohest art
edt of eel [Link] o
Nqubeko' sconnect ions, wewer eabl etogett he
kidst oat tendthenear bypr imar yschooleven
thought heheadmi stresssai dshecanonl yt ake
them t ogr adeslowert hant heirsjustsot heycan
finishtheyearandst ar tpropert hef oll
owi ngyear .
Weagr eedbecausewewer en'tblindt othechange
theyneededt oadjustt o.I talsodi dn'thelpt hatit
wasnowami xedschoolandt heboysf ear edt hei
r
whi teteacher [Link] [Link]
camebackbr aggingaboutt wof riendsshemade.
Sot hef i
rstweeksofschoolwashar dwi tht he
tear i
ngeacht imeIdr oppedt hem atschoolbutt he
teacher swer ekindsoaf terawhi l
et herewasa
smi leaf t
erawaveand2mont hsl aterI'
mt heonl y
onedoi ngt heemot ionalwaveatt hegat e.
"
Theyar
efi
ne"saysNqubekol
aughi
ngabi
t.
Iquickl
ybl
inkthetear
sawaybef oretur
ningtof
ace
hi
[Link] ways,hi
seyesf allonmygr owing
stomachfi
rst
.It'
sdefi
nitel
ygr owingIevenhave
l
ovehandlesandaper fectcleavage.
Theschoolbel
lri
ngsandt
hel
itt
legr
oupsst
art
movi
ngawayf rom t
hepl
ayar
ea.
"Inevert
houghtdr
oppi
ngpeopl
eatschoolcanbe
thi
semot i
onal
"Iopent
hedoorasNqubekoopen
hisside.
"I
t'
snot.I
t'sprobabl
yaKhumalothing"heteases
whil
ewat chi
ngmeputont heseatbelt
.Lat
elyheis
obsessedaboutmewearingaseat bel
t.
"What ever"Irol
lmyeyesandr ubmystomach.I t
's
veryi t
chyandsomepr egnantladi
esIwaswi thin
thathor r
ible'
Ijoinedt ooearly'mummyandbaby
classIat t
endedl astweek, theysaidIshouldn't
scratchthei t
chingi nsteadrubt hear
easot oavoid
stretchmar ks.I'
vebeenr ubbingbuti
tjustdoesn't
havet hesameef fectandNqubekosai dstr
etch
mar kslookf i
neonanyonesoIshoul dn'tworry
abouthavi [Link] i
evehim becauseheal sohas
str
etchmarksonhi
swai
stl
[Link]
il
lIr
ubf
rom
ti
met ot
ime.
"Howwast heclass?Iaskedbefor
eandyouonly
yell
[Link]"hestar
ts
thecarandIlookoutthewindowjustt
hinki
ng
aboutthosewoment here.
"
Itwashor
ri
ble"It
rynott
ocr
inge.
"
Mor
edet
ail
sThembeka"
"Theymadeuswatchavi
deooft
heact
ualbi
rt
h.
Canyoubeli
evei
t"
"What'
swr ongwitht
hat?Maybet
heyar
epr
epar
ing
youfortheactualbi
rt
h"
"Bymaki
ngmewat chanotherwoman'svaginapop
upababy?"Ist
areathi
m andIcanseehismi nd
makingt
heimagesashest ar
tsi
maginingit
.
"
[Link]
'swayt
oomuchi
nfo"hemakest
hef
ace.
"
Exactl
[Link]
edt al
kingaboutt
he
f
ancythingsyoucanbuyf [Link]
wearduri
[Link] ingaleggi
ng
Nqubekoandtheyalll
ookedatmel ikeIwasdoi
ng
somet hi
ngagai [Link]
start
edt al
kingaboutwheretobuyper f
ectmaternit
y
wear .I
twashor ri
bleandIcouldn'
teatbeefcurry
withoutthem tell
ingmewhyt hecurr
yisnotgood.
Onel adyevensuggest edt
hatIshoulddri
nksome
herbalteaforclearski
nbecausemyf aceisoily"
"Youdidn'
tgetal
lemot
ionalandst
art
edcr
ying,
did
you?"
"Ionl
ycr i
edonceIwasdr i
vinghomef eeli
ng
horri
bleaboutgoingthereinthefi
[Link]
nowoni 'm at
tendingmycheckupsandst ayi
ng
homet oenjoyeating"Isaythewordswi thmy
stubbornfaceonandNqubekol aughs.
"
That
'
smygi
rl
"
"Socanwehavedi nnertonight?Justusinyour
house?"I'
m hornyandit
'[Link] astt
ime
[Link] el
yNqubeko
comest omyhousef [Link]
alsot
oldmet hi
ngswerehecticatworksohehast o
gototheof f
icedai
ly.
"
Andyouar
est
ayi
ngover
?"Heasksaf
terapause.
"[Link]
iwentoutl astnightsoshewi l
lbehome"
sheandMl ulekiwentoutf ordinnerforthefif
thti
me
[Link] astoppedsul ki
ngabout
i
twhenhef oundout .ImustsayIwasgl adhe
foundoutbecausei twasbecomi ngharderforme
tolieaboutPhiligoingt obedear l
yandt henhaving
tostayuppr etendingt owatchTVwhi l
ewai ti
ngto
l
etheri [Link] erdayshel ef
t
l
at ewithnoplansofr etur
ningandwhenshecame
backt hi
smor ningshewasqui etsoI '
m goingt odri
ll
herwhenIcomebackf rom thedoctor.
"ThenI'
llmakesur eyougett hebeefcur r
yyoul ove
[Link] ejuice"herepl
iesandsmi lesat
[Link] lebackf eeli
ngl ikemywor ri
esarejustmy
i
magi nati
[Link] ncet hebigdramabackhome
i
'vebeenf eeli
ngl i
keNqubekoi sstr
[Link]'t
real
lyputmyf ingeroni tbutheseemsst [Link]
l
ackofsexi sn'thel
[Link] ionedthi
she
blamedt hetirednessandt hest
ressaboutwor k.
"Andmor
e"Iwhisperandhel
ooksatmewi
tha
smil
eonhisf
ace.
"
Def
ini
tel
ymor
eMaKhumal
o"hesmi
lesandbi
tehi
s
l
owerli
[Link]
everwast
hepr
obl
em i
t'
snow
gone.
"
AboutSdumo.
..
."
"[Link]
[Link]
essyou
knowthebet
ter"hecutsmeof f
.
"
ButNqubeko.
..
..
"
"Nobut .Leaveal
lthatt
[Link]'
twantyou
thi
[Link]'
thavet
oldyou
anythinginthefi
rstpl
ace"
"Butyoudid"Ipr
[Link]
otect
iveI
'
m
awareofthatbutIneedhi
mt ostoptr
eati
ngmeli
ke
achild.
"Andthat
'sallyouareget t
[Link] hi
s
babyandshutoutal lthenegativethingsThembeka.
Youdon'tneedt hestressandwor ry"hesqueezes
[Link] egoingtor evi
sitt
hist
opi
c
betweenthesheet s.

*
****
***
Nqubeko

Imakei ttomyappoi ntmentj ustintimeaf t

er
drivingThembekabackhomeaf t
erhercheckup.
Thepr egnancyi [Link] salsodoingver ywell.I
shoul dbeahappymanbutI 'm [Link]
i
nsi demet hatwon' tstopaskingquest ionssoI '
ve
madet hisappoi ntmenti nNewGer manyj ustto
avoidbumpi ngtosomeoneIknowandhavi ngto
makeupst or i
esaboutseei ngashr [Link] i
keme
don' tneedt heirheadsr ead.I'
m nother eforhead
readi ng.I
'm her eforanswer sIneed.
"YoumustbeMrNkosi"sayst
hef
rontl
adywhenI
approachherdesk.
"[Link]
hinki
'
mri
ghtonti
me"Ismi
leather
.i
couldn'
tusemyr
ealname.
"Yeshei
sreadyforyou"hepoi
ntsthedoorandI
nodathankbef
oregoingthr
oughthedoor.
DrGeari
nglookshalfwhit
eandhal [Link]
s
shor
[Link]
lhesur pr
isedtoseemeand
thef
actthatIl
ookli
keagi antcompar edtohimisn'
t
hel
ping.
"
MrNkosi
"
"DrGear
ing"Ismi
leabi
tandhesmi
[Link]
hethi
nksi'
m agentl
egi
ant.
"
Pleasesi
t"hepoi
ntst
hechai
r
Isi
tdownasheal
sosi
tsopposi
teme.
"ThankyouMrGeari
ng.I
'
llj
ustgetst
rai
ghtt
othe
point
"Istar
tandhest
opspicki
ngupapenand
l
ooksatme.
"
I'
mli
steni
ngMrNkosi
"Hesayski
ndl
y.
"[Link] r
iedthi
syoungwoman.Shewas18at
theti
me.I twasanar r
angedthi
ngsoshewasn't
givenmuchchoi ce"Icanseehimtaki
ngthi
salli
n
ashel ooksatmeandt henl
ookawayforabit
.
"[Link]
lyold.Thegapis20
years"Iwatchhisfacetoseeiftheshockwil
l
regi
sterbutheshowsnot hi
[Link] sa
prof
essionalaft
erall
.Iconti
nue
"Thefi
rstf
ewyear
swer
[Link]
ytal
ked.
Therewasnocommuni
cat
ionbet
[Link]
didwhatwasexpect
edandli
vedl
iket
hatf
oryear
s"
theDoct
ornodssoIcont
inue.
"I
'm notproudoft hisbutIcheat
edonher .Shehad
noideaunt i
lmysi dechi
ckconfrontedherandit
brokeherhear tandshemi scarr
iedt hesame
evening.I
twasr [Link]
shortl
yafter"
"Thatmusthavebeenhar
donyouboth"sayst
he
doctorcl
ear
lywanti
ngtogett
hewor
di n.
"I
twasr ealhar
[Link]'
tlethergosoI
[Link]
expecti
ngababy"Ismi l
ejustastheDoctorsmi
les.
"
That
'
[Link]
..
..
"Hest
art
s
"Wr
ong?"Ifi
nishforhi
m andhenods."
someone
menti
onedaSt ockhol
m Syndr
omeandsaidsheus
suf
fer
ingfr
om thecondit
ion"
"
Stockhol
m Syndr
ome?
"Hef
rowns.
"[Link]'vebeentoGoogl
[Link]
eaduponi
t
andt houghtaboutthi
s"
"
Soyout
hinki
t'
str
ue?
"Heasks.
"
Idon'
[Link]
'swhyi
'
m her
eneedi
nganswer
s"
DrGeari
nggetsupandwalkstoabookshelf
.I
watchhi
m ashescansthebooksandthenpickone
bef
orewalki
ngbacktome.
"MrNkosi
.Ifyourwif
eissuff
eri
ngfrom Stockhol
m
Syndromedon'tyout
hinkIshoul
dbet al
kingto
her?
"Hesit
sdownandpagest hebook.
"
Soyout
hinki
t'
spossi
ble?
"
"I'
mj [Link]'
tsayifshei
sor
not .Ihaven'tmetherMrNkosi"Icantel
lheis
thinkingthisisst
upid.
"
Shei
sal
readyat
tendi
ngt
her
apy"
"
ForSt
ockhol
m Syndr
ome?
"Hel
ooksupi
nsur
pri
se.
"
[Link]
herproblemsIcan'
tment
ion"Ir
epl
y
f
eel
ingali
tt
leannoyed.
"[Link]
standyouMr
Nkosi"Inodandwaitf
orhimtoconti
nue"Youthi
nk
yourwifeissuf
fer
ingf
rom St
ockhol
m Syndrome?"
"
Yes"Isayshar
ply.
"
Why?
"
Isi
tbackandl
ookatt
hedoct
or.
"Somet hinghappenedt omywi fewhenshewas
[Link] ght maresabouti tsomet i
[Link]
parent sdiedwhi l
eshewasst [Link]
rai
sedbyhergr andmot [Link] edshewas
l
eftwi thheruncl esi nhermot her '
ssideoft he
[Link] en'treall
ykindandt heywer e
alr
eadyl ooki ngforwayst oprof i
toffher .WhenI
askedt omar ryhert heywer eal r
eadypl anningto
mar r
yherof ftosomeoneol derwi t
hmor ethanone
wifeandahousef [Link] at
herandI
couldn'tletithappensoImar riedherinst ead.
Want ingtogi veherabet terli
fe"Icanseet he
Doctori sjudgingmef ormar r
yingherbuti '
m not
goingt otellhim aboutmaki ngapr omi set oher
fat
her .
"
Onl
yyoudi
dn'
tgi
veherabet
terl
if
e?"Heasks
"Idi
[Link] r
uggli
ng
tomakef r
iendsIpersonall
[Link]
[Link]
ythingahusbandhastodobutI
starvedheremotional
[Link]'
tawar
eofitatthe
ti
mebutl ookingbacknowIseeshewasst arved.I
shouldhavebeent her
ef orher
.Hel
pheradjustto
beingmar r
ied"
"Notmanywouldrecogni
zet
hei
rfaul
tMrNkosi
"
agreesGear
ing.
"
Idor
ecogni
semyf
aul
[Link]
hem"
"
Butshet
ookyouback.
..
..
."
"Exactl
[Link]'t
sit
ti
ngont hecouchcryi
ngf
ormebutstil
lshecame
backjustli
kethat
"Isnapmyfi
ngerssoheseesmy
point.
"
Andyouwi
shshedi
dn'
t?
"
"Ofcausenot.I
'
m happysheisbackbutIcan'
thel
p
wonderingi
fsheisbackbecauseshelovesmeor
sheisbackbecauseshefeel
strappedsomehow"
"
I'
m notf
oll
owi
ngMrNkosi
"
"IonceaskedThembekai
ssheeverthoughtabout
l
eavingmeaf t
erwegotmarr
[Link]
shesaid?"
"
Whatdi
dshesay?
"
"[Link] ayedmar ri
ed
tomebecauseIbecameherhome.I twasn' tt
he
fi
rsttimeshesai dsomethingsimi lartot [Link]
shel ef
tshesai dshewasgoi ngtopaymebackmy
l
obol abecauseheruncl eswer esayi ngshecan' t
l
eavemewi thoutt hem havingtor eturnt helobola.I
tol
dherIdi dn'[Link] feredhera
housebecauseshesai dshenowdi dn'thavea
[Link] smar riedshel eavesher
homeandbel ongst [Link] eavingme
meantshenol [Link] chedf orher
father'
sfamilyandf oundthem forher .Whenwe
spokeaboutt hedi vor
ceshesai d' Thankyouf or
l
ettingmego' soyout el
lmeDoc"
Gear
ingtakesadeepbreat
handtakehi
sgl
asses
of
fbefor
esi t
ti
ngbackonthechai
r.
"
Isee"
"Andnowwear ebackt
ogether
.Thesexi
sgreat
.
I'
m seeingadif
fer
entsi
defrom her
.Shei
s
emotional,
shecri
esalot,
sheisextr
emel
ysensi
ti
ve,
sheisjumpyandshel [Link]'
m wonderi
ng.
Issheinlovewit
hmebecauseI '
m amanf orheror
i
t'sStockhol
m Syndr
omebecauseshef eel
sit
'sthe
onlychoiceshehas"
Chapt
er62

Nqubeko

IleaveGear i
ng'sof fi
cenotsat i
sfi
edwi thhis
answer [Link] ssuggest i
ngt herapyf orusbot h
becausehecan' tdiagnoseThembekawi thout
seeingher .Talkaboutnotbei nghel pfulatallbuthe
doeshi ghl i
ghtt hatsi nceshei sdeal ingwi thother
emot ionali ssuesIcoul dber eadingt oomuchi ntoit
andt hatobvi ouslybei ngpregnantwi llalsohave
someef fectont heemot i
onssi [Link] i
ngkept
talki
ngIcoul dt ellhewant edmet obr i
ngherover
butIcan' [Link] thoutdisturbingt hepeaceandher
j
our neywi thherowndoct [Link] ghthavet o
appr oachThembeka' sDoctoraf [Link]
confirmi fthat '
st [Link] ushbackt ot he
of
fi
cef
ormymeet
ingwi
thMl
ulekiandTi
ko.
If
indthem wai
ti
[Link]
ulekihat
esbeinglat
ewhi
le
Ti
koisbusyfli
rt
ingwi
thmyempl oyees.
"
Gents"IgreetandMlul
ekigi
vesmetheeyes"I
'm
l
[Link]"Itel
lhi
m bef
orehesaysanyt
hingabout
i
t.
"
Yeahr
ight"hespeaksanywayandt
heyf
oll
owme
t
omyoffice.
Iwai
tunt
ilTi
koclosest
hedoorandMl
uleki
is
l
eani
ngagainstt
hedesk.
"And?"IaskTikoandhepull
soutanenvel opefr
om
hisinnerpocket
[Link]
ekit
akesitfi
rstandlookat
thephotosbeforehandi
ngthem tome.
"Soheboughtataxi
?"Iaskst
ari
ngatSdumo'
s
phot
oashest oodsmil
ingnextt
oataxi
.
"
Yepandtheysayhei
stheonl
ylocaltaxiownerso
i
twaseasyforhi
mtogeti
n"saysTiko.
"[Link]
llhaveamaninMhlungwane?"I
askMl ul
eki
.Sdumoandhi sf
amil
yfoundaplacein
NewTown.I t'
salocalcommuni
tyinNquthuand
Mhlungwaneistheareaacr
osstheI
Joj
osiri
ver.
Someonewhol i
vesinMhlungwanewouldknow
someonewhoi sbuyi
ngtaxi
[Link]
can'
tblendi
[Link]
andout.
"[Link]
.Itt
akesfiverhour
st o
dri
vet her
e"herepl
[Link]
athim andhopeshedoesn'tsayanythingabout
Mluleki'
sbeefwit
[Link]' t.
"[Link]'tt
rustyounott
oki
llhi
[Link]
someonenoti nvol
ved"
"Idohaveaconnecti
oni
[Link]
ther
eanddel i
vert
hemessagewi
thoutbei
ng
seeing"saysTi
ko.
"
[Link]
her
etoni
ght
"Ti
konodsand
t
akeouthisphone.
"
Remember
.Nooneget
shur
t"addsMl
uleki
.
"Noproblem"saysTikoashest
art
stypi
ngonhis
[Link]
abtheenvel
ope
befor
etossingitt
oTiko.
"
Forexpenses"Isayashel
ooksi
nsi
[Link]
andInodi
nret
urnt
osatwear
edone.
"
I'
llbei
ntouch"hesaysashewal
kst
othedoor
.
"No.I
'
[Link]'
ll
beverybusy"Ican'thel
pbutgr
inatt
het
hought
.
Tikof
rownsbutnodandthenl
[Link]
urnt
oMl
uleki
andfi
ndhim wat
chingme.
"
Nut
?Whati
sthat
?Acr
avi
ngofsomesor
t?"
"[Link]
.Thelastti
mesheonlydi
dcoco
toni
ghtImightl
etherdothewholewor
d"
[Link]
yIcanholdof
funt
il
shereachesheri
ntendedpoi
nt.
"Soyou'
vestoppedobsessingaboutSt
ockholm
rubbi
sh?"Ml
ulekidoesn'
tevenwanttoenter
tai
nthe
possi
bil
it
y.
"WenttoGearingandhewant stoseeusbot [Link]
Ihavetotalkt
oThembeka'sDoct [Link]
his
andhaveherlookintoi
t"hisfacesayshei s
disappr
ovingsoIaddquickly"i
t'
sjustasuggesti
on.
Nudginghertoadirect
ion"
"
Youshoul
dhavesi
gnedupf
oryour
sel
fNqubeko.
Att
hisr
ateyouwi
llneedt
otal
kaboutsomet
hing.
Thi
scan'
tgoon"
"Idon'
tneedmyheadr eadMl ul
[Link]'
thelpi
t.
Ineedtoknowi ft
hereisnochanceoft hatatal
l"a
thoughtofThembekanotbeinginl ovewit
hme
givesmet hi
schil
li
ngfeel
inginsi
deme.
"Andi
fther
eist
henwhat
?"Heaskshi
seyesf
ixed
onme.
"Idon'
[Link]
hatl
ett
inghergoi
snotan
opti
on"
"Morereasonswhyyoushoul
ddropthis"hest
ands
str
aightbefor
ewal
kingt
ostandnearthewindow.
"[Link]
slappedyourhandawayl astni
ght
.It
wouldexplai
nt henegati
vit
y"Iexpectacomeback
oragr i
[Link] o
standnexttohim [Link]
passesbeforeheleansagainsttheglassandbur
y
hishandsinhispockets.
"Shedidn'tsl
[Link]
ustcouldn'
tdoi
t"he
playswiththecoinsi
nhispockets.
"Whynot?"Iknowshehasbeengoingoutwit
hhim
andthem havi
ngdinneri
nhi
splacemeantitwason
i
nmybooks.
"Shewasf i
[Link] ,sharesomewi ne,
l
aughedatsomeJokesandki ssedont hecouch.
Theproblem st
art
edwhenwemovedf rom the
l
ounget othebedr
[Link] ymoodwent
awayinabl i
[Link],she
wouldn'
tstophugginghersel
fandt henshebecame
rat
hersti
[Link]
mostfrozeninmyar [Link]"
heexplai
ns.
"
ButPhil
iisamotheroft
[Link]
hem i
sa
t
eenager
.Shecan'tbeaf
rai
dofsex"
"Idon'
tthinkshei
saf r
[Link]
herwhat
comesaf tert
hesex"her epl
iesandl
ooksatme.I
[Link]'
tgetit
.
"Nqubeko,Phi
lii
sasingl
[Link]
hasbeenraisi
ngherkidsandherbrot
herinaway.
Sodoyour eal
lythi
nkshehasn'
tbeenrejectedaf
ter
thesex?"
Idot
hinkaboutt
[Link]
if
ulyoungwoman
rai
singafamil
yshemighthavet
ri
edt
ogetsome
l
ovei nbutonl
ymetsel
fi
shmenwhocan'
thandl
e
notbeingtheonl
ypr
ior
it
y.
"
It
'spossi
ble"
"[Link]
ussherepeat
edeightti
mesthatshe
doesn'twanttohaveunprot
ectedsex.I
twast otal
ly
i
rrelevantbutshesai
ditandintheendIfi
gured,
shei safrai
dofrej
ecti
onandhavingtodealwiththe
outcomeal one"
"Sowhatar eyougoi
ngtodo?"Iaskbecause
Mlulekial
wayshavesol
uti
[Link]'tevenget
nervousli
kemeandr ui
nthi
ngs.
"
ShowherthatIi
ntendtost
ickaroundevenaf
ter
t
hesex"t
hereisasmileoni
sf ace.
"Tr
eathergood"i
fMl
ulekibr
eaksPhi
li
'
shear
tI'
l
l
suff
erfori
ttoo.
"[Link] [Link]'
t
breakherheart"hegi
vesmethelookthatsomehow
makesmebel [Link]
heartl
esswhenneededbutItrusthewil
ldori
ghtby
thatwoman.
"[Link] epare
[Link]
omisedheracookedmeal"I
checktheti
me.
"
Idohopeyouhavepl
anbfort
[Link]
womandoesn'
tneedf
oodpoi
soni
ng"heteasesand
l
aughs.
"
[Link]"Itur
nbackt
o
mydeskandstartt
aki
ngthefil
esIneedhome.
"
SoThembekadoest
hecoconutt
ri
ck?
"
"
Yes"It
urnandf
acehi
m"Woul
dyoust
opi
magi
ning
i
t"
"Idon'
t,youar
e"Hel aughsandconti
nue"Whi
leshe
[Link],sheaskedyou
questi
ons"
It
rynottot
hinkabouti
tsoIdon'
twal
kar
oundwi
th
ahardon.
"Yeahwetal
kedaboutSdumo"Ir epl
yasmymi nd
[Link]'
tsayanythi
ngsoI
turnar
oundandcont i
nuepacki
nguntilIr
eal
izewhy
heisaski
ng.
"
Mlu"
"YesNqubeko,Thecoconutt r
ickwast heretoget
youtot al
[Link]
hasfoundyourweakpoi nt.I
t'
srighttherebetween
yourlegs"[Link]
ndmysel flaughi
ngtoo
becauseIdidn'
tseethatoneatal l
.
"
Dammi
t"
"Wordofadvi
[Link]
ght,
don'
t
stopki
ssi
ngher.I
t'
stheonl
ywayt okeepyour
mouthshut"

*
****
***

Thembeka.

"OkayI '
m donenow"Iturnof ft
hestoveandleave
thekitchen.I'
vecookeddinnerwhi
lePhiliwasbusy
helpingtheli
ttl
epeoplewithhomewor kand
l
isteningtostori
esaboutadventur
esofschooling.I
decidedt ocooksoPhilidoesn'
tst
ressaboutit
whenI'm gone.I
'
m get
ti
nglai
dtonightandIhope
NqubekohasenoughenergybecauseIwantit
r
epeatedl
y.
"I
'
m donet
oo"saysPhil
iasshefoll
owsmetot
he
bedr
[Link]
her
emot
e
al
one.
Iwalkinandshef ol
lowsbefor
eclosi
ngthedoor.
Shewant stotal
kandI '
mreadyfordet
ail
s.I
'
vebeen
readysincethi
smorningbutshehasbeenquietso
Idecidedtowaitabit.
"Sowhatareyouwearingtoni
ght?
"Sheasksasshe
thr
owshersel
font [Link]
inandsear
chformy
packagei
nthecloset.
"Thi
s"Iwal
kbacktot
hebedandemptythe
shoppi
ngbagonthebed.I
t'
sanavy/
bluel
inger
ie.
"Damngi
rl"shepicksupthebraandlooksatit
.
Thankst
ot hefi
ll
ingupboobsbecausenowIdon't
needapushupbr at
osupportt
hecleavage.
"
Doyout
hinkhewi
lll
ikei
t?"Hereyesl
ightup.
"
Hewi
llbest
upi
dnott
[Link]
sissexyandyouar
e
goi
ngt
olookr
eal
lysexyi
nit
"
"[Link]
hMlu?"Iask
str
aightoutbecauseshei
snotbei
ngvol
untaryand
Ican'twai
tanylonger.
Thesmi
leonherf
acei
sgone.
"
Idon'
tthi
nki
'
m cutoutf
orsexTee"shesaysaf
ter
amoment.
"Youhaveawor [Link]
younotbecutoutf orsex?"Thewordscomeout
fastandshestaresatmebef or
[Link]
Godshei snotoffended.
"Ther
eisnothi
ngwr ongwit
[Link]
lIhopether
e
i
sn'tbutIcan'
thelpthi
nkmaybeIshoul
dn'tdoi
t"
sheisnolongerlaughi
ng.
Idecidetositdownnextt
oherandf orgetabout
seducingNqubekoforamoment .Thisgirlneeds
met olist
enevenifmysexualexper
iencei snot
exactl
ywi de.
"
Why?
"
"
Whati
fIgetpr
egnantandMl
ulekil
eaves.I
'
llbea
mot
heroft
hree"sheshr
ugs.
"
Noti
fyouusecondoms"Isuggestwhi
lebr
ushi
ng
t
heevi
denceofunpr
otect
edsex.
"Iknowbutlastni
ghtIjustcoul
dn'thel
[Link]
usI
reall
ylikeMl
uleki
.Hemakesmel aughandhas
[Link] hi
ngsthenomenhasever
donef [Link]
hesexchaseshi m away"
"Chasehim awayhow? "Idon'
tunderst
[Link]
menl [Link]'
tseeanyonebeingchased
[Link] essi
fitwasextremelybad.
"Toobig,t
oowet,t
[Link] '
vehear
dso
manywomensayt heset
[Link]
ofi
x
i
tupbef or
[Link]
stayed"
"
Fixwhat
?"
Shest
aresatmei
ndi
sbel
ief
.
"
Fixdownt
her
e"shepoi
ntsmyl
egs.
"Whywoulditneedf
ixi
ng?
"Agruesomephotoof
thebirt
hfl
ashesonmymindandItrynott
ofeel
sick.
"Youreal
lydon'
tspendti
meonFacebookorbei
ng
aroundtal
[Link],wheni
t'
sbeenawhil
e
sinceyouhadsomet hevagi
nacanbe
disappoi
nti
ng"
"Di
sappoint
inghow? "Ihaven'
tstayedawayfr
om
sexforalongti
[Link] f
ehasn'tgivenmethatandI
am notcomplainingbecauselat
elyIam l
ovi
ngall
thesexIget.I
nf acti
'm wi
ll
ingtoaskNqubekoifwe
cantrybondage.
"Theysayi
tbecomest
oowetandf
eel
sli
kei
t'
stoo
bigonthemale"
"Butt
hewet nessist
her etomakei
teasier
.Dryness
meansbruisingPhil
i"Iknowthi
sbecausethi
sone
ti
meIstart
edbei ngdryandNqubekohadt ostop
becausehedi dn'
twanttohurtme.
Shest
aresatmel
ikeshei
sconf
used.
"
That
'
swhyt
heysel
llubr
icant
[Link]
teasi
er"
"Bei
ngwetisnottheprobl
em Thembeka.I
t'sbei
ng
toowett
hat'satur
noff"shelower
[Link]
dohavetenderearsaf
teral
l.
"
Why?Youcanwi
peandcont
inuei
fit
stoomuch"
"That
'swhattur
[Link]
yoneonFacebook
saysso"IwishPhil
iwoul
dn'
tbeli
eveever
ythi
ngshe
readsonFacebook.
"Whoisever
yoneandwhatdot
heyhavet
odowi
th
yourvagi
naandsexli
fe?
"
"
[Link]
alkonFacebook!
!"
Ican'
thel
pbutst
[Link]
aresbackand
l
aughwhenIdon'tst
opstari
ngather.
"Facebookhassomanypeopl ePhil
[Link]
hem
behindthescreenwhet heronthephoneorl apt
op.
Youcannotl etacompl et
estrangerdictateyour
sexualli
[Link] hosemenar eki dsactingl
ike
[Link] hem don'tevenknowwhatt he
vaginalooksli
[Link] nyoursexl if
e"
"
It
'[Link]
e..
..
."Ist
opherbef
oreshe
t
ri
estodefendthi
s.
"St
rangerswiththei
rownprefer
[Link]
Idon'
tpictur
eanywomanwant ingadrysexandnot
ri
skanybr ui
singbutst
il
lift
hereist
henit'
stheir
pr
efer
[Link]
ysex?
"
"
Ofcausenot
"
"[Link]
orgetpeopl
etel
li
ngyouaboutbei
ng
dryduri
[Link]
dbeenj
oyed
wet"
"
Andi
fit
'stoowet?Won'ti
ttur
nMluleki
off
?"Ichew
myi
nnercheekandthi
nkaboutthi
s.
"I
fMlul
ekihatesthewetnessduringsexthenhe
shoul
dgot othosewhowanti tl
ikethat.I
tsnotyour
vagi
na'
sfaultifheisweir
d"nowIdowi shIcancall
Pret
tyupandaskherf orsomeadvi cebutIdon'
t
wanttori
skmaki ngPhil
iuncomfortabl
e.
"
Andt
hent
her
iski
fthecondom bur
st?
"
"Itwon'
tburst.I
fusedcorr
ect
lyandIknowforsur
e
thatyouandMl ulekiar
eol
denoughtouseone
correct
ly"It
easeandduckwhenshet r
iedt
ohitme
wi t
hthebra.
"Onelastthi
[Link]
t'
spossibl
eforaman
l
ikeMl ul
ekitobewi
thawomanl i
kemewi tht
wo
kidsf
oral ongti
me?"Thisisahardquesti
onand
bei
ngaskedonawr
ongper
[Link]'
tspeakonhi
s
behal
f.
"Phi
li
.Ithi
nkyoushoul
daskhim st
rai
ghtoutonthat
[Link]
m bef
oreyouguysgoanyfurther
"I
advi
seandshenods.
"Hesmel l
[Link] yti
mebefor
ehekissesme
[Link] smet opasshim
somethinghesayspl easefi
rst
.Andhemakesme
wearhisjacketevenifIhavemyownj er
sey"she
smil
esandIsmi l
etoo.
"
Soyoudol
ikehi
m?"
"
[Link]
sni
cet
obewi
th"
"
Sowhathappenedlastni
ght
?Di
dyousuddenl
y
f
akeaheadache?"
Shesi
tsupandhugherknees.
"[Link]
yheavyont [Link]
askedthatwemovet [Link] dokayand
wewent .Thenistart
edt hi
nki
ngaboutal lthese
thi
[Link] loverididn'
treal
izethathe
wasnol ongerki
ssingmeort ryi
ngt otakemy
[Link] oppedandit oldmyselftofocus.
Wet ri
edagainandwheniwasf i
nal
lynaked,well
almostbecauseist il
lhadthebr aon,hejust
[Link] sshi r
toffandputi tonmebef ore
tell
ingmet ogett [Link] hatwhil
ehewent
[Link] etur
nedhest r
ipped
andgoti nbehi [Link] ssedmegoodni ghton
[Link] smor ningilef
tear l
ysayingineededto
gett heki
dsr eadyf [Link] soffsi
nce
then"istareatheri nshock.
"
Off
?"
"
I'
m af
rai
dtot
urni
ton"
Idon'
trepl
yinsteadigetupandtaket
hephone
fr
om thedresserandtur
niton.
"Idoubthecal
led"shel
aysherheaddownont
he
pil
low.
Thescr eencomestoli
feandiwaitasitst
art
s
processingandthenet
workconnects.
Ther
eisonl
yonemessagesayi
ngshewasa
voi
cemai
[Link]
hephonebackt
oher
.
"Youhaveavoi cemai lmessage"ist
atetheobvious.
Shenodsandst artpressi
ngthephoneunt i
lthelady
star
tsgivingheropt i
onstotakehertothemessage.
Idon'tknowwhyshei susi
ngloudspeakerbuti
won'tactlikeidon'twanttohearsoili
sten.
"MaMzili
kaziI'
m star
ti
ngtothi
nkyouar eignori
ng
meonpur [Link]
easelet
'st
[Link]
oveyouandi f
clockr
eaches5pm andyourphonei ssti
llof
fi'
ll
cometot hehouse"
Webot
hjumpwhent
hebuzzergoesof
f.
"
It
's5pm"shesaysassheget sofft
[Link]
y
t
othewindowandevent houghit
snotexactl
ydir
ect
t
othewindowbutsti
llicanseeasilvergr
aycarat
t
hegate.
Thephonealsostar
tsri
[Link]
detol
ether
dealwi
ththephonewhil
egoi ngtogett
[Link]
ki
dsknowt hatt
heyshouldneveranswert
hegate.
"
Yes"
"
MaKhumal
o.I
sPhi
lit
her
e?I
'
m her
eforher
"says
Mlul
eki
"Okay"Ipresst her emot ejustasPhi l
iwalksintothe
l
[Link] othedoorandopensi t
.Ialso
fol
lowbutunl ikeher ,Istandwhi leshewal ksoverto
thecomi ngcar .ItstopsandMl ulekiget
sout .Today
heisdr essedinagr eyr oundneckt shir
tandbl ack
j
eansandbl ackj [Link], Mlulekiis
nottoot al
landl [Link] sf i
tthoughandavar age
i
nhei [Link] libeingsmal li
tsacompl et
e
dif
ferentsightint heirpointofview.
Ican'thearthem buthesayssomet hingandshe
l
ooksdownonherf [Link]
whatdi dtheshoeseverdonet oher .Mlulekil
ooks
overt omeandsmi l
[Link] ngcaught
l
ickingthemi lkIsmi l
[Link]
beforelookingatheragai [Link] henhe
puthi sarm aroundherwai standpul lhercloser
[Link] ooksuphebendsoverandki ss
[Link] l
dishmewant stoclapandcheer
butther esponsibl
ewomansi lentl
ygoesbackt othe
houseandsmi l
eswhensheseest hekidswat chi
ng
TVwi t
hnoi deawhat shappeni ngout si
de.
I
'
m happyf
orPhi
li
.Weal
ldeser
vet
his.
"I
'mt aki
ngabat hguys"iletthem knowbef or
e
disappeari
ngi nt
[Link] gtask
[Link] earnmor eabout
Nqubeko'splanforrevengeandal sofigur
eoutjust
howdar kher eal
lyi
[Link]
'ml ovi
ngat hugthenineed
toknowj usthowdeephei ssoIdon'twakeupi n
shockonedaywhensomeoneshowsmet hereal
Nqubeko.
Chapt
er63

Nqubeko

Ifinisheverythi
ngjustasThembekaar ri
[Link]
weat herhasgonef r
om warmt ocoldandcloudy.I
taket heapronoffashercardr i
vesinandr usht o
thedoor .Istepoutsideandnoticet
hatit'
sraining
j
ustal i
tt
[Link] ing
atr [Link] ndblowsthehairandgi veher
asexyl ookwi ththatdarkli
pst
[Link]
backandgr abanumbr el
labehindt
hedoor .She
smi leswhensheseesmeappr oachwithanopen
umbrell
[Link]
aket
hebagfr
om herhandandki
ssher
[Link]
lsl
i
kesomet
hingsweetandwarm.
"Youlookgor
geous"Iwhi
speraswest
artwal
king
sidebysidet
othehouse.
"Thanksyoul
ookhandsomet
oo"t
her
eisasmi
leon
hertone.
Iki
ckthedoorwi deopenandal l
owhertoent erf
ir
st.
ShedoessoandIcl osetheumbr ell
abeforewalki
ng
i
[Link] andsandlookar [Link]
gottoturnthe
l
ightsoffsothecandlescanbet heonlylightwe
[Link] hefloorusi
ngt hi
ckcushionand
pil
lowsforcomfort.
"I
tsmell
sgood"shesmil
esandherhandspl
ays
aroundt
hebeltoft
hecoat.
"Ihopeitt
astesgoodtoo"icancookbuti
t'
snot
exactl
ythekindofthi
ngicansayIcandoitwit
h
eyesclosed.
"I'
m sureitdoes"sherepl
iesandconti
nuetosmil
e.I
can'tgetoverhowsexyshel [Link]
ler
[Link] vehertheheight
.
Webothgoquietforamomentbeforeicl
earmy
t
hroat
.Ineedtoputthebagint
[Link]
movesandstandsasidewheniwalkpast
.Iret
urn
t
ohersti
lll
ooki
ngar ound.
"
Adri
nk?Nonal
cohol
ic"ipoi
ntt
hebot
tl
eont
he
t
abl
e.
"
Yespl
ease"sher
epl
ies.
Itur
nandpickupt [Link]
chesasipour
[Link]
ll
ingherglassandonlypouri
ngmyself
half
.I'
l
lhavear ealdri
nkl at
er.
[Link] akesitmyhand
goestogetcoatandpul lt
[Link]
upreveal
ingherredandbl ackl
ingeri
[Link]
damnsexy, i
mmedi at
elystandforatt
enti
on.
"
Thembeka"Il
owermyvoi
ce.
"Nqubeko"sher epl
i
esandipul lhercl
osebef ore
kissi
[Link]
[Link] thout
breaki
ngtheki ssIt
aketheglassf r
om herhandand
pullawaytoplacethem onthet abl
[Link] aresat
meandsuddenl yshel
ooksabi [Link]
meoft henightwegotmar r
ied.
"
Ithi
nkdi
nnercanwai
t"Iwhi
sper
.
"
Greati
dea"shegi
ggl
eandIki
ssherl
ipsr
ightt
her
e.
Thekissishotandherhandsst ar
tstofumblewi
th
meshi r
twhileItryt
ot akeof
fhercoat
.Shepull
s
awayinf r
ustrat
ionwhenshecan'tunbutt
onmy
shir
[Link]
o
thebedroom.

*
****
***

Thembeka.

Okay, thi
sisnotwhatihadi nmi ndwheniworethe
l
inger i
eandwor kedoutaplant oseduceNqubeko.
Nott hatievengotachancet [Link]
het [Link] ngsIcan'
t
helpbutgett hi
swarmf eel
ingonmyf acewheni
[Link] ntIwasonmyknees
andhewaspoundi [Link]
sideandt henonmybackwi thmyl egsonhis
shoul [Link]
dn'
tevenl
etmebeont [Link]
wef inishedIwassoti
redIf
ellasl
eepwhil
ehewas
sti
llkissingmyswoll
enli
ps.
Butnowi
'm awakeandi'
m st
arvi
ng.I
'
m alonesoi
si
tupandtakeNqubeko'
sshir
tonthefl
oorandsl
ip
i
ton.
"
Hey"hesmi
leswhenIwal
kint
othel
ounge.
"
Whydi
dn'tyouwakeme?"Iki
sshi
sli
psandhe
t
ast
esl
ikewater
melon.
"Youwer
esl
eepingsopeacef
ull
ypl
usIgota
chancet
owarm upthef
[Link]
eat"
"Ineedt
hebathr
oom fi
rst"Iwal
ktothebathr
oom t
o
peeandrinsemymout hbefor
[Link]
foodsmellsr
eal
lygood.
Hecomesbackwit
hthepl
atesandIsi
tcomf
ort
abl
e
ont
hecushi
ons.
"
Areyoufeel
ingal
ri
ght
?"Heasksaf
tergi
vingme
t
heplat
e.
"
I'
m st
arvi
ng"Ist
arteat
ingr
[Link]
ches
meandIdon'
tcar
e.I
'
mfeedi
nghi
sbabyt
oo.
"
Doyouneedmore?"Heaskaf
teramomentofj
ust
mewit
hthepl
ate.
"Justabit"Isi
pthejuicewhi
leheget
supand
disappearintheki
tchen.
Hecomesbackaf t
eramomentandhandsmet he
pl
[Link]
owernowandheal
sostar
tseat
ing.
"
YouknowIloveyou"Hesaysoutoft
hebl
[Link]
op
myfor
kmidwayandl ookathi
m.
"IknowandIloveyout oo"Ir
epl
yandexpecta
smi l
ebuthelooksseri
ousanditmakesmeput
downt hefor
kaltoget
her.
"Doyou?
"Heaskshi
seyesnotmovi
ngf
rom my
eyes.
"[Link]?"Helookdownandfora
momentIst ar
tfear
ingheisabouttodumpmeon
some'Iloveyoubutther
eissomeoneelse'
speech.
"BecauseIl
oveyouandIcan'
thelpf
earingthatyou
arewithmebecauseIt
ookyoufrom yourhome
whenyouwer ej
ust18year
sold"Ist
areathimi n
shock.
"Ir
eaduponStockholm Syndr
ome.I
'
m notsayi
ng
yousuf
fer
ingf
rom itbut.
..
"
"Yout
hinkIdon'
tloveyou"Myvoi
cesounds
emoti
onalandIdon'twantt
ostar
tcr
ying.
"
Ijustneedsomet
hingt
oputmeatease"her
epl
ies
i
mpat i
entl
y.
"
Stockhol
m syndr
omei
swhenavi
cti
mfal
lsf
or
t
heir
..
..
."
"Idi
dn'
texact
lydothingsr
ightwhenwegotmarri
ed.
AndIwasal ousyhusbandforyear
sThembeka.
Somehowyoust ayedand.
...
."
"BecauseIl
[Link] [Link]
havetodotoshowt hatIl
oveyou?"Iyel
landsl
am
thetabl
e.
"
Pleasecal
m down"hesoundsal
armed.
"
Ican'
tcal
m [Link]
ion
t
hisNqubeko?Af
terever
ythi
ngwe'
vegonethr
ough"
"Ican'
thel
pit
.Ifeelguil
[Link]
eell
ikeI
contri
but
edineveryt
hingyouaregoingthr
oughand
nowyouar
est
uckwi
thme.
..
..
"
"Pl
easest
op"Ipushtheplat
eawaybecauset
her
eis
nowayIcancontinueeat
ingnow.
"
I'
m sor
ry"
"
Takemehome"Ipul
lmysel
fup.
"Pl
easedon'tl
eave"hestandsuptooandwhenhi
s
handreachesformeIslapitaway.
"
Don'
ttouchme!
!"Iscr
eam andhemovesback.
"
MaKhumal
o..
..
"
"
Don'[Link] ustcal
ledmecr
azyfor
l
ovingyou"Il
ookar oundhopingtoseemycoatbut
i
t'
scleart
hatIlef
titinthebedroom.
"
Idi
dnotsayyouar
ecr
azy"
"
Doesn'tmatt
erwhatyousai
[Link]
atef
ul
[Link]
veusasecondchancetoyoudeci
de
t
oruinit"I
'
mloudandhekeepscringi
ngwit
heach
wordIsay.
"
SowasIwr
ongt ot
ellyout
his?
"Hequesti
onst
ops
meonmytr
[Link]'m bei
ngdr
amati
c
butmyegoi
sref
usi
ngt
oacknowl
edget
his.
Itakeastepfor
wardandforcemyselft
owalktot
he
[Link]
heclosetformycoatandf
indi
t.
"Pl
easedon'
[Link]'
ttalkaboutt
[Link]
agai
n"hebegswhenhewal ksin.
"Howcomeyoucan'tgetoverSdumo' saccusat
ions?
WebothknowthatSdumowast r
yingtogettoyou"
heseemsshockedforabitbutqui
cklyrecovers
whil
emurmuri
ngDabulaunderhisbr eath.
"Iknowbutjustf
orsakeofever
ythingt
hat
's
happeni
ngandever yt
hingt
hat'
shashappenedI
j
ustcouldn'
tgetoveri
t"hepoi
ntsthebedandIwal
k
overaswebot hsi
tdown.
"Idon'
thaveStockhol
m [Link]
an
Tembaandyouar ehi
stor
ydude"Iteaseandhe
l
aughsj ustabi
tbefor
eheputshisheadaroundmy
shoulder.
"
Whoi
sBr
ianTemba?
"
"
SomeoneI'
lldef
ini
tel
yleaveyoufor"hest
art
s
t
ickl
ingmeandItrynottolaughbutheknowsthat
bei
ngt
ickl
edt
akesmybr
eat
hawaywhenIl
augh.
"
Stop,
stop"Ibegwhi
let
ryi
ngt
opushhi
m [Link]
l
aughsandstops.
"
Sonomor
eleavi
ng?
"Heasks.
"Andnomor et
alksaboutweirdthi
ngsNqubeko.I
'
m
alr
eadyat
tendi
ngt her
[Link]'
senoughforme"
"
Iwon'
tbr
ingi
tupagai
n"her
aisebot
hhands.
"f
[Link]
somethingsweet"Ist
andupandhefoll
[Link]
walkhandandhandbackt ot
helounge.
"Ishouldgetussomedesser
ts"hepi
cksupthe
platesandIdon'
tstophi
[Link]
ngsweet
topi ckupmymoodnow.
SomeonebuzzesatthegateandIdon'
tevenbot
her.
ThisisNqubeko'
shousesohehastodealwit
hhis
fr
iends.
Hecomesbacktoanswer
.Someonei
saski
nghi
m
t
oopenthegat
e.
"
Whatt
hehel
l"hemur
murwhi
leunl
ocki
ngt
hedoor
.
"What'
sgoi
ngon?"Ihol
dhi
sshi
rtt
ightar
oundme.
Evenwitht
hegr
owi ngt
ummyhi
sshirti
ssti
llbi
g
enoughtobeadressonme.
"Idon'
tknow"Hest andsatt
hedoorandIpokemy
headaroundhisarmt oseethepersonwal
king
[Link]
ooksl
ikesboybuti
tsrat
her
l
ateforakidtobeout si
deworseonacolddaylike
thi
sone.
Wewai tsi
lentlyasthepersonapproachunti
lhei
s
standi
nginthedi r
ectlight
.Istar
eathim andl
ook
[Link] ooksexactl
yli
keNqubeko
onlyheisat eenager.
"
[Link]
o.I
'
m yourson"sayst
heboy
l
ooki
ngatNqubeko.
Chapt
er64

Nqubeko.

Ist
areatt
heboyashest
aresbackatme.
Thembekaist
heonewhobreakst
hespel
lby
cl
eari
nghert
hroatandt
henl
ooki
[Link]
Isaynow?
"
Comeonin.I
tsfreezi
ngouthere"saysThembeka
whensher
eal
izesthatI'
vegonemut e.
"
Thankyou"sayst
heboynotmovi
ngf
orwar
d.
IfeelThembeka'
shandonmyarm befor
esheturns
[Link]
somoveandtheboyfol
lows.
"
Letmegogetdr
essed"shesaysasshehur
ri
est
o
t
hebedr
oom.
"I
'
m sor
rytoj
ustarr
ivewit
houtcal
li
ngf
ir
st"sayst
he
boysi
tt
ingonthecouch.
"Whoisyourmother?
"itsoundsli
keacruel
questi
onbutanyonefi
ndingastrangeri
nhishouse
clai
mingt
obet hei
rchil
dquesti
onsl i
ket
heseclear
theair
.
"
Not
hil
eXaba"herepl
iesandpull
southi
sphone.
"
Thi
sisher
"heshowsmet hephot
o.
"Nothi
le"Isayitqui
etl
ywhil
eremember i
ngseei
ng
[Link]
fwithoutevenwant
ingto
acknowledgeme.
"Youguysdatedsomeyear
[Link]
tandshe
rai
sedusalone"sayst
heboyhi
svoicesoundi
ng
confr
ontat
ional
.
"
Us?
"Igi
vehi
m backhi
sphoneandi
gnor
ethet
one.
"Meandmysist
[Link]
wins"heshowsme
anot
herphot
[Link]
rli
[Link]
ooks
l
ikeNot
hil
e.
"Doesyourmot
herknowyouar
eher
e?Howdi
dyou
evenfi
ndme?"
"
Idi
dn'
tknowyouwer
ehi
ding"hesnaps.
Thembekawalksbackinandshel
ooksreal
lygood
i
nmyt r
[Link]
artbl
owi
ngofft
hecandles.
"
Iwasn'
thidingbutIt
hinkIneedt
otal
ktoyour
mot
herfi
rst"Irepl
yki
ndly.
"Sheispr
obabl
yinthatpl
[Link]
taland
asktotal
[Link] unni
ng"nowI
senseangeri
[Link] ooksatmeand
thenbackathi
m.
"Gi
vemehernumber "Igobacktothebedr
oom t o
[Link]
lTikobutIcan'
tjustyet.
Ineedt
osor
tthi
soutf
ir
st.
Theboycal
lsoutt
henumberandImakethecal
l.I
t
ri
ngsforal
ongti
mebefor
eatiredvoi
ceanswer
s.
"
Yes"
"
It
'sNqubeko"Ihopeshedoesn'
tknowmany
Nqubekos.
"
Mbonambi
?"Nowshesoundsal
ert
.
"
Yesi
t'
[Link]
oisher
e"
"
What
?Her
ewher
e?Gi
vehi
mthephone!
!"Sheyel
ls.
Ipassthephonetotheboyandt hemomenthe
greet
sshestart
syell
[Link]
dsbut
other
sarehardtocatch.
"
Mum chi
ll
.Igother
esaf
e"her
epl
iescal
mly.
Nothi
lecont
inuestoyel
[Link]
othe
ki
tchenandIfoll
ow.
"I'
m sor
ry"Iwhisperandwrapmyarmsaroundher.
Sheholdsmebackandsaysnot hi
[Link]
ike
thatunt
iltheboyclearshi
sthr
oatbehi
ndus.
"
Sor
[Link]
stot
alkt
oyou"hehandsmet
he
phone.
"
Not
hil
e"
"
I'
m sorr
yaboutthi
sNqubeko.I
'
llcomegethi
m
t
omorrowmorning"
"Sothat'swhyyouranof
fthatday"myheadwas
sti
llf
ullofconf
usiont
[Link]
dhave
recognizedher
.
"I
'
llcomegetLi
ndokuhl
etomor
rowmorni
ng.I'
m
sorr
yaboutal
lthi
s"t
heli
negoesdeadaf
tert
hat.I
star
eatmyphone.
"
Lindokuhl
e?"Il
ookatt
heboy.
"That
'[Link]
nsi
stsoncal
li
ngme
that
.Ili
keQaphel
o"Icat
chThembekasmil
ingat
him.
"
What'
syousist
ername?
"IaskandThembeka
l
ooksconf
usedsoIadd"Theyar
etwi
ns"
"
Hernamei
sAmanda"her
epl
ies.
"Doyouneedsomethi
ngtoeat?
"asksThembeka
openi
ngthecupboar
[Link].
"
ButI
'
mlact
osei
ntol
erance"headds
"
Meani
ng?
"Il
ookatThembeka.
"Mil
kdoesn'
ttr
eathim wel
l"expl
ainsThembeka
alr
eadydi
shingupthefood.
"
Ther
eisnomi
lkt
her
e"Ir
epl
y.
Weallstandsil
entlyasThembekawarmsupthe
[Link]
hthi
s?
Findyoursel
fafatheroft
woteenager
s.
Shehandshimt heplat
eandpourj
uiceaswell
.He
thanksherpol
it
elyandgoesbackt
ot hel
ounge.
Shetakesthedessertandtakemyhandaswego
[Link]
ntheTVonandtheboy
eatswit
houtevenlookingattheTV.
"Thi
sisgood.I
fIhavet
oeatpi
zzaorabur
geri
twi
ll
bewaytoosoon"hesayswi
thamouthf
ul.
"
Why?
"Iask
"
Becausethat
'
[Link] herdoesn'
thave
t
imeforcooki
[Link]
sabadcookbutshe
i
sgoodoneverythi
ngelsesowehavet oeat
t
akeawaysmoreoften"heexpl
ains.
"
That
'
shect
[Link]?
"AsksThembeka.
Helooksatherl
ikeshei
scrazy"evenmymot
her
doesn'
tcooksowhyshouldI?"
"
Becauseyouar
etheonewant
ingf
ood"sher
epl
i
es.
"Welli
'
m herchil
dandshedoesn'
thavet
imet
o
cook"heshrugs.
"Yourdadcookedthi
s.I
fhecancookl
iket
hisi
'
m
sureyoucantoo"shesmil
esatme.
"
Youcancook?
"Hel
ooksatme.
"
YesIcan"Ir
epl
y.
"
Butyouhaveher
"hepoi
ntsatThembeka.
"So?Sheisnotacook"Ilookathi
[Link]
ike
[Link]
lbackt
osil
ence
unti
lThembekayawns.
Theboygetsupandt aket
heplatet
othekitchen.I
usethi
smomenttoki ssThembekaandli
ckt he
chocol
ateonherl
[Link]
esandpullaway
j
ustastheboywalksbackin.
"
Comel
etmeshowyouwher
eyouar
esl
eepi
ng"I
getupandpoi
ntt
hepassagebef
orehef
oll
ows.
Iopenthebedroom doorandwal
[Link]
andlookaroundbeforegoi
ngtot
hewi ndow.
Iopentheclosetandtakeouttheblanket
[Link]
hi
mt hebathroom andshowhi [Link]
smil
esandsaysgoodni [Link]
ebackandl eave
hi
m alone.

*
****
***

Thembeka

ThemomentIcl
oset
hebedroom doorNqubekohas
hi
sarmsar
oundmeandkissesmyl i
ps.
"Nqubeko"It
ryt
ostopthi
sbuthedoesn'
tsl
ow
[Link]
ndsit
'swayi
nsidet
hepants.
"Canwetal
kafterthi
s?Please"hewhi
sperand
clai
m myli
[Link]
akeshimfewminutest
oget
meundressedandont [Link]
eonmybackand
waitforpenet
rati
onbuti
tdoesn'
[Link]
tera
secondher ol
lsoffme.
"
Sor
ry"
Inodandlookathi
m.I'
m notsur
ehowIfeelabout
theki
dsbuti'
mtryi
ngnottobedramat
ic.
"Nothil
eandIusedt of [Link]'
twanta
rel
[Link] usthappyto
havesomeonewhodi dn'twantanythi
ngmor [Link]
asyougetf amil
iarwithaper sonyoustarttofeel
them [Link] dt
[Link]
suggest edarealrelati
onshipshewasokaywi thi
t
butaf t
erawhi l
eever [Link] ewapart
[Link] tl
yaft
[Link]
tol
dmeshewaspr egnant "
"Soyoudidthataloti
nyoursi
ngledays?Havef
uck
buddiesal
lover"t
hatcomesoutbit
tert
hanImeant
fori
t.
"ButIal
waysusedpr
otect
[Link]
houghtIwas
avoidi
ngthi
s"
"
Wellatsomepointi
tdi
dn'
[Link]
i
nthebedroom"agai
nIsoundharsh.I
t'
sprobabl
y
t
heshockoff
indi
ngouthehaski
[Link]
ds.
"[Link] arted
i
gnoringmeIusedt [Link] t
outsi
deandcallnonstopbutshewoul dn'tcome
out"Nowt hi
sparthurt
[Link]
doingitf
[Link] ngaftermebecausehel oves
mesomuchbutnowIf indhediditwillal
lthe
womenhehasbeenwi t
h.
"[Link]
tht
wokids"Isay
bit
ter
lybeforer
oll
ingovert
omysi
deofthebedand
pullt
hepill
owundermyhead.
"15year
sl [Link]
15yearslater"hefol
lowsandputhi
sarm ar
ound
me.
"[Link] hi
nki '
m [Link] ght"Iturn
theli
ghtof fonmysi [Link]' tsayanyt hi
ngat
fi
rstbutafterfewsecondsheki [Link] s
handgoesf urtherdownandst artbrushingmyt high.
Ilaysti
llandf orcemysel ftocontinuebreathing
[Link]' tst
[Link] eelhistongue
onmyneckandhi shandgoi ngevenf ur
therdown.
"Letmeknowifyouwantmetostop"hewhi
sper
s
ashistonguet
ouchest
hebackofmyear.
"
Soyouar
eloyalt
oal
lwomenyoudat
ed?"Iask
t
urni
ngmyheadsohecanki
ssmyli
ps.
"Wouldyoupreferi
fI'
m ahear
tl
esspl
ayert
hat
's
str
ingsever
yonealong?"hi
shandpushesmyl
egs
apartbef
orehiskneeisbet
weenus.
"
Youdi
dcheatwi
thNobuhl
e"
Hepausesf orasecondandIwanttokickmyself
fori
[Link]
dIforgi
vehim soIshoul
dn'
tbebri
ngingit
upeveryti
mewehaveanar gument.
"
AndIl
ostyoufori
t.I
twasalessonforme"hisli
ps
f
indmyni
ppleandhesweepshistongueoverit
.
"
Andyouhavemeback"
Hest opskissingmyni [Link]
myl egswi derandwr apthem ar
oundhi swaist
.We
st
areateachot herforamomentbef or
ehepushes
i
[Link] apmyar msaroundhisneckandpull
hi
m cl [Link] ustbef
ore
hest art
[Link]
i
mmedi
atel
ywi
thmybodyl
ockedar
oundhi
m.
"IhaveyoubackMaKhumal
[Link]
hist
ime"he
holdmet i
ghtandst
art
smovi
ngagainandfi
nishes
shortl
y.
"
Youowemesomepr operlovemaki
ngNqubeko.I
'd
l
ikeagoodmor
ninggl
ory"Isaywhenhepul
lsout.
"Whendi
dyoubecomesobr
ave?
"Hel
aughsand
ki
ssmynippl
es.
"Youmademebr [Link]
des,yousaidnot
hing
betweenusshouldbeembar rassi
ng"hetoldmeso
whenIwasst i
llashyvirgi
nwhocl osedhereyes
whenhet ookhisclot
hesoff.
"
Yesmyl
[Link]
hingi
nthi
sbedr
oom wi
lleverbe"
"
That
'
swhyIt
hinki
'
dli
kebondage"
Hest
opspl
ayi
ngwi
thmybr
east
sandl
ookatme.
"
what
?"
"[Link]
sandbl
indf
[Link]
t
can..
..
."
Itr
ytoexpl
ain
"
I'
m nott
[Link]
geti
t"Heget
soff
meandi'
ml ef
tfeel
ingcool
.It
sthesweatonmy
body.
"
Whynot
?Itdoesn'
thur
t"
"[Link] dyouknowthati
t
doesn'
thurt
?"HesnapsandIf i
ndmysel
ffear
ing
thathemightst
artyel
li
ngatme.
"I
tsayssoont
heI
nter
net
.Itspi
cesupt
hebedr
oom
acti
on"
"Spicesup?Areyouheari
ngyoursel
f??Ijustf
ucked
youl esst
hanfivemi
[Link]
spicingupdoyouneed?"Heyell
sandt ears
i
mmedi at
elyf
il
lmyeyes.
"Therei
snoneedf
oryoutoyel
l"It
urnandf
acethe
otherwayj
ustast
heyst
artf
all
ingonthepi
ll
ow.
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
dn'
tmeant
oyel
l"
Idon'
trepl
y.I
fIst
arttal
kingnowi'
l
lendupsobbi
ng
l
oudandt her
eisakidinthi
shouse.
"Thembeka"hecomescl
oserandt
ri
est
otur
nme
over.
"
Don'
t
.Goodni
ght
"Iwhi
sperbef
orecl
osi
ngmyeyes.
"
Okayf
ine.I
'
[Link]
ayi
ngaround.
Nowst
[Link]"hebegs.
Iwi
pethetear
sandsl
owlyt
urnmyheadt
ofacehi
m.
Hestar
esatmeandsaysnot
hing.
"I
fitdoesn'
twor
koutwecanst op"Isuggestand
hopetogetsomereact
ionbuthecontinuestost
are
atme.
"
Nqubeko"
"[Link]
hatIl
oveyour
ight
"hesays
quietl
y.
"
Iloveyout
oo"Ismi
leandt
akehi
shandt
omi
ne.
Hel eansoverandki ssmyli
[Link]
ythi
st i
meand
Ifeelhishandsmovi nggentl
eonmyupperbody.
Thispr egnancyisturni
ngmeintoasexcrazed
womanbuti tlooksli
keNqubekodoesn'
[Link]
ki
ssf orawhi lebeforet
her
eisaknock.
"
Eh,Nqub..
..[Link] wantstot
alktoyou"says
t
hevoiceatthedoor
.Iglanceatt
hewatchont he
wal
landit
'[Link] l
sat11pm.
Nqubekodoesn'
tmoveont
opofme"
Ist
her
e
somet
hingwr
ong?
"Heasks.
"Hershi
ftjustendedatthehospi
tal
.Shei
shome
now"explainstheboy.
"
Thent el
lherI'
m busy.I
'
llcal
lhert
omorr
ow
morning"saysNqubekocomingbacktokissmy
l
ips.
[Link]
momenthesaysokay." shesaysokay"hesaysout
l
oudandt henwehearthedooropenandcl ose.
Whocal l
sat11pm totalkaboutt
hekidsshehi sf
or
15years.
"
Ioweyousomeproperl
ovemaki
[Link]
eyouupf
or
i
t?"Hel
ickhi
sli
psandIsmi
le.
"
YesI
'
m cr
avi
nganor
gasm ort
wo"Iwhi
sper
.
"Thenorgasm comingup"hekissesmyli
psagai
n.I
pushallthepr
oblemsaway.I'
lldealwi
tht
hem
tomorr
ow.
Chapt
er65

Nqubeko.
Ileavethebedr oom quiet
lyandcloset hedoor
behindme.I t'
sal most8int hemorningand
Thembekai sstil
lsnori
[Link] osleepal i
tt
le
l
ongeraf tert [Link] ntit
start
edt of eelli
keIcouldn'tkeepupwi thherhunger
forsexbutaf tergoingatitli
kerabbi
tsshef inal
ly
sleptandIst ayedupt hi
nkingaboutthebi g
elephantint her [Link]
answer [Link] destwopeopl eforyears?Ihad
teenageki dsandIneverknewaboutt hem.
"Mor [Link] [Link]'tmind"
saysLi ndokuhlesi
tti
ngont hecouchwit
ha
mount ai
nofcerealont hebowlandt hemilk
drippingont heri
[Link] ar
eatt henowwetcof f
ee
table.
"
Morni
ng.I
t'
[Link]
pet
het
abl
epl
ease"It
ry
t
okeepmyvoicecalm.
Hest
aresati
tandforamomenthel
ooksl
ikehe
want
stousehissl
eevet
odoit
.
"
Adi
shcl
othorpapert
owelwi
lldo.I
ntheki
tchen"I
l
ethim knowandwai
tunti
[Link]
sphone
vi
brat
esandhelookati
tbefor
elooki
ngatme.
"
Mum andAmandaarehere"hestopswal
kingand
t
urnbackt
hedoorbef
oreopeningit
.
"
Wipethetablef
ir
st"Idemandandhegl ance
t
owardsmeashi sfaceflasheswi
thannoyancebut
whenhefindsmest ar
ingbackathi
m hewalksoff
t
othekit
chen.
Iwalkout sideandpr esst heremot ebefore
watchingt hecardr i
vesi [Link] ksbehi nd
Thembeka' scarandt hepassengerdooropensf ir
st
butnoonecomesout .Istandandwai [Link]
e
j
oinsmeandst aresatt [Link] tersomet ime
sheyoungl adystepsoutandNot hil
ealsost epsout.
Istar
eatt hegirl
.Shei swear i
nggl assesandher
pimpledf acehast hi
sl ookofdi sgustasshel ooks
[Link] solookaroundmyyar [Link]
'sclean.I
sweept hedr ivewayf rom ti
met oti
[Link]
deadl eavesonmygr assandt helitt
letreesgota
tri
mmi ngexact [Link] daguyt odo
thatthough.
"Nqubeko"saysNot
hil
easshewal
kst
owar
dst
he
house.
Inodandst epasi
detolett
hem i
[Link]
ndokuhl
ealso
fol
[Link]
tonthecouch
andI'mlef
tstandi
ngatthedoorwaynotsur
ehowt o
dealwit
hthis.
"Mbonambi "Thembeka'svoi
cefi
llsthehouse
beforesheappearsinthepassagewear i
ngmyshirt
andslipper
[Link] heshockon
[Link]'
texpectaful
llounge.
"
Sor
[Link]
ning"shesmi
lesandgr
eet
s.
"
Hi"saysNot
hil
elooki
ngatherupanddown.
Thembekahol
dstheshi
rtbel
owhert
ummyand
thengobackt
othebedr
oom.
"
Excuseme"Isayandf
oll
owhert
othebedr
oom.

*
****
***

Thembeka
Thedooropensjustastheembarrassmentt
ear
sfi
ll
[Link]
all
yforgotaboutt
hiswomancoming
today.
"
Hey, hey,
wesaidnomoretear
s"saysNqubeko
wrappinghisar
msaroundme.
"
Sor
ry.I
t'
sjusthumi
li
ati
ng"Iwi
pet
hem onhi
sshi
rt
.
"
It
'snothumili
ati
[Link]
ssexyandIl
oveit"he
whisper
sinmyearandIknowhei sjusttr
yingt
o
makemef eelbet
ter.
"
Theyar
eear
ly"Ipul
lawayandwi
pet
het
ear
s.
"
Yeahtheyareearl
[Link]
woul
dyoulikeforbr
eakfast
?"Heasksnotl
ett
ing
memovef r
om hisarms.
"
[Link]
ambl
eeggs"
"[Link]'
l
lgomakethefoodfor
you"Hekissesmyl i
psandthensmi
[Link]
leback
andwatchhiml eavether
oom.
Mymooddoesn'ti
mproveevenaft
ertheshower
andwear
ingNqubeko'
sshort
sisn'
thelpi
ngatal
l
.
Aft
erwhatf eelsli
kehoursIfinall
yleavet he
bedroom andf i
[Link] r
l
l
ooksupf rom herphoneandIt hi
nkf oramoment
sheroll
edhereyesatmebutIcan' tbesur e
becauseshei sweari
nggl [Link] sfatandal
so
l
ooksl i
keNqubeko.
"
Hi.I
'
m Thembeka"Ii
ntr
oducemysel
f.
"
Okay"sher
epl
ywi
thoutl
ookup.
Irai
semyeyebr owsandnodt oLi
ndokuhlewho
nodsbackbecausehehashi searphonesinhi
s
[Link]
eavethem andjoi
ntheparent
sintheki
tchen.
Well,aparentbecauseNqubekoi
salone.
"
Wher
ei sshe?"Iaskl
ooki
ngaroundevent
hough
t
heki
tchencan'thi
deanyoneatal
l.
"
[Link],sit
"heput
stheplat
ein
f
[Link] loffr
iedeggshi
tmynoseand
adropofsal
ivaescapemyl i
psandNqubeko
l
aughs.
"
I'
m st
arvi
ng"Ipul
lthechai
randsit
.Hest
andson
t
heothersi
deandwat chmeeat.
Ieatl
ikeastarvedper
sonandNqubekopoursthe
j
uicebeforepushingi
ttowar
dsmewhenI'm about
tofi
nish.
"Thanks"Itakethejui
ceandstopwhenwehear
approachingfootst
eps.I
t'
stheladyandshei s
surpri
sedt ofi
[Link] sgorgeous.
[Link]
nisclearandever yt
hing
i
sr i
[Link]'t
helpbutfeelli
keazeroagainstherbutItr
ymybest
nottoshowi t.
"Hi"Shesmi
lesbutitl
[Link]'
t
breakint
oasmile,
onlyhershowingteeth.
"
Hi"Irepl
yandcont i
nuetocl
eanthepl
atebywi
ping
i
twithapieceofbreadandthendropi
tonmy
[Link]
chenissil
entandIl
ookather
.She
l
ooksdisgust
ed.
"Youdoknowt hatyoushouldn'
teatf
atdur
ing
pregnancy.I
fyouwantt or
emainhealt
hyandnot
gainweightl
ikeaslob"sheadds.
"
I'
llaskmydoct
or"Ir
epl
yandsmi
leather
.
"
That
'
stot
all
yuncal
ledf
[Link]
ustt
ryi
ngt
ohel
p"
shelooksatNqubekoandIlookathi
[Link]
doesn'
tsayanythi
ngatal
l.
"Don'
tworr
yabouti
t.I'
mtotal
lycover
ed"Ist
andup
andputthepl
ateonthesi
nk.
"Whydidn'
tyoutel
lmeabouttheki
ds"Asks
[Link]
urnaroundandl
ookatherwait
ingf
or
ananswer.
"Canwetal
kinpri
vat
e?"Shelooksathi
[Link]
himtoandforhi
ssakeIhopehedoesn'tagr
ee.
"Sheispar
tofmyli
fesowecant
alki
nfrontofher
"
herepli
esandabi
tchinsi
demei
scheer
ing.
"If
oundoutyoucheat edonmewi thLerat
oand
Buhle"shesaysthiswit
hsuchprideinhertone.I
can'thel
pthinki
ngsheissayingi
[Link]
showmet hatNqubekoisnotaKnighti
naShi ning
armourbutacheat i
ngguythathasbeencheat i
ng
forever.
"What? "AsksNqubekonotl
[Link] dn'
t
tellmeabouthim cheat
ingl
astnight
.Hesaiditwas
allhernothingf
rom hi
m butIdeci
detol
etthatone
passf ornow.
"Shet ol
[Link] oldmeabout
everythi
ngyouwer [Link]
somener vetocometomypl acebeggingmet otalk
toyouwhi l
eyouwerefucki
ngt hatwhore"sheyel
ls.
Shei ssti
llangr
y.
"
Lerat
owasalesbi
[Link]
wasfucki
ngFi
onawholivednextt
omyf lat
"says
Nqubekol
ooki
ngatherli
keshewasnuts.
"
AndBuhl
e?"Sheasks.
Nqubeko'
sfacefal
lsandhelooksatmef ora
[Link] andBuhlewereinalongrel
ati
onshi
p
i
f15yearsagoshewasal r
eadyasi dechi
ck.
"Andfort
hatyoudeci
deIshoul
dn'
tknowt
hatIhave
kids?
"Heasks.
"Iwasangr [Link] dn'
tknowaboutt hepr egnancyuntil
Iwasal mostf ourmont hspr [Link]
egular
cyclesoIdi dn'[Link] ot el
lyou,
Buhlewast her [Link] onguedeepi ntoher
mout [Link]
eftwi thouttal
[Link] eft
Meadowl [Link] dn'
tf i
ndyouanywher e"she
shrugsandNqubekogoesqui et.
Footstepsapproachbef or
et hegir
lsfaceappear
s.
Shelooksathermot herbeforeannouncingsheis
st
[Link] dn'
t
off
erherbr eakfast
.
"Shesai
dshedidn'
twantanyt
hingwhenIasked"he
saysasifhei
sreadi
ngmymi nd.
"
Idon'
teatcur
bs"sher
epl
ieswi
thoutl
ooki
ngathi
m.
"
Areyouall
ergi
c?"Iaskandt
heybot
hlookatme
l
ikeIj
ustgr
ewhor ns.
"
Gocheckinthecar"sayst
hemotherhandi
ngher
t
[Link]
ooksatmebeforeshewalksout
.
"Whydoesn'
tsheeatcur
bs?
"IaskbecauseIdon'
t
geti
t.
"Becausesheist r
yingtoloseweight"sher epl
ies
andr ol
lhereyesbef or
eturni
ngtoNqubeko" Ididn'
t
gooutofmywayt opurposelyhi
detheki [Link]
youngandhur [Link] i
nall
yreali
zedt hatyou
neededt oknowyouwer ealr
[Link]
forcedtoli
vewi t
hmychoi ce"sheshr ugs.
"
Soyoul
ivei
nuLundinow?
"Heasks.
"[Link]
ti
oninNkonj
eniandt
heyneeded
achangeofenvironmentsowemoved"shest
eps
closerandpul
lthechai
r.
"Idi
dn'
tknowyouwant
edt
obeadoct
or?
"Hesays
andshesmiles.
"Wellwedidspendtimehavingsexandnott al
king
seri
ousl
[Link] art
edt ocheatIreal
izedthatI
wantedtobemor ethanjustsomet ownshipgirl
dati
ngaguywi thashinycar .Ther
eismoret oli
fe
thendati
ngarichguy"Inoticehereyesarelooking
atme.
"[Link]
[Link]
dbepr
oudof
yoursel
f"hesaysandshebeams.
"[Link] '
swhyI'
m alreadyteachingAmandat hat
sheshoul dfi
ghtt
obei [Link]'
twant
hertodat eri
chpeopleformoney"hert onei
s
star
ti
ngt orubmeof [Link]
unempl oyedandri
ghtnowI '
m unempl oyabl
esince
I'
m pregnantbutI'
m notagolddi gger
.
"That
'
[Link]
oteachhert
obe
comfort
abl
eonherownbodybeforeshest
art
s
thi
nkingsheisafatpi
g"Iaddandi
mmediat
ely
real
izethatAmandaiswalki
ngi
nandwhatIj
ust
saidsoundsrealcr
uel
.
"What?"Thewomangetsofthechai
randlooksat
[Link]
sappoint
ed
andthenhelooksatafr
ozenAmandaatthedoor.
"I'
m sorr
ythatcameoutwr [Link]
dn'tmeani tl
ike
[Link]
ustthinkyoushoul dn'tl
etyourdaughter
startst
[Link] sst i
ll
growingandherbodyi sfil
linginbeforetaki
nga
shape"ItrytoexplainbutIcanseet hatAmandai s
teari
ngandhermot herlooksl i
keshewant sto
smackme.
"
Justshutup!
!"Shegoest
ocomf
ortherdaught
er.
"I
'
m sor
ryAmanda"IaddandNqubekogi
vesmea
nod.
"Whatar
eyousorr
yf or
?Youjustcal
ledherafatpi
g.
Howdareyou?
"theboyhurri
esoverprobabl
ybeing
star
tl
edbyt
heyell
ing.
"What'
sgoi
ngon?
"Heasksl
ooki
ngathi
scr
ying
sist
er.
"Yourdumbst
epmot
herj
ustcal
ledaf
atpi
g"she
says
"Nothil
e"Nqubeko'svoicecut
sinandmakeher
j
umpabi tbefor
eshelooksathi
m"Thembeka
[Link]
call
ing"hesoundsseriousforamomentIam
compl etel
yturnonbyt hecommandonthetone.
"Youareunbeli
evabl
[Link]
eenagedaughterwho
i
salreadystr
uggli
ngwithsel
festeem i
s
heart
brokenandyouaresidi
ngwi t
hher"shepoi
nts
atmel i
kei'
m somegarbage.
"Maybeshei sstruggl
ingbecauseshehasabi tchy
mothert hatall
owshert ostartdieti
[Link]
shedoesn' teaticecream orchocol at
ebecauseyou
wil
ltellheraboutherwei ght
.Idon' tknowyoubut
yousur esoundl ikeami [Link] ett
he
gir
leatwhatshewant [Link] obef atso
[Link] atpeoplearebeaut if
ulandt heycan
haveitallandnotdependonr ichmenf ormoney.
NowIneedyout omoveyourcarsoIcangot omy
[Link] ghtbechowi nghi smoneybutI
havemyownt hingstoo"Iaddbef oreleavi
ngthe
ki
[Link]
sdayst
art
edbadl
y.
Chapt
er66

Nqubeko

"LookI'
m sorry.I
'
m behavi
nglikeabitt
erper
son.
Pleasefor
giveme"saysNot hi
lestoppi
ng
Thembekaf rom l
eavi
[Link]
andwantt ostaybutshedoesn't
.
"[Link] amil
y"sheadds
af t
ershealsoapol
ogisestobothNot hi
leand
Mandi [Link]
chherl eavethekit
chenandI
findmyselfwonderi
ngi ft
hisishowourl i
veswil
lbe
l
ikef r
om nowon.
"Ibett
ergomovet hecart
hen"saysNothi
lewal
king
[Link]
lowherandcheckonThembekawhoi s
clear
lyleavingwi
thmypantsandIam not
compl ai
ning.
"
Areyouokay?
"IaskwhenIf
indheri
nthebedr
oom.
"
I'
mfi
[Link]
ryaboutt
hedr
ama"shesmi
lesand
[Link]
ssherl
ipsf
orabi
t.
"Il
oveyou.I'
l
lcal
lyouassoonasyouar r
ive"I
shoul
ddriveherbutIcan'
tavoi
dthesi
tuati
onint
he
l
ounge.
"Okay"shedoesn'tsoundbi
tterandIhopeI'
m not
seeingthi
[Link]'twantf
indmyselfhavi
ngto
solveprobl
emsallovertheplace.
"Letmewalkyoutothecar"It
akeherhandandwe
[Link]
hil
eisbackandshesaysgoodbyet
o
Thembekawhoal soret
urnsapol
it
egoodbyeand
walksout.
Wewal kqui et
lyunti
lwer eachhercarandIopen
thedoorforher .Shetur
nsandki ssmebefore
getti
[Link] ushherstomachand
kissherforehead.
"
I'
llcal
[Link]
oveyou"Iaddandcl
oset
hedoor
.
Shewavesandst ar
[Link]
ilshedr
ives
outandthenwaitasthegateclosebehi
ndher.I
takeadeepbreat
handwal kbackt ot
hehouse.
"
Isi
tpossi
blef
orust
otal
kinpr
ivat
e?Wecangof
or
cof
fee"saysNothi
[Link]
ookatt
he
ki
dsandt heybot
hhavethei
rfacesonthei
rphones.
"Andwel eavethem al
one?"Iasknotsureift
hat
'sa
goodidea.I'
m notsureaboutwhat'
srightand
what'
swr ongatthispoint
.
"
Theyar
[Link]
llbef
ine"
"
Letmechange"Ihur
rytot
hebedr
oom andchange
i
ntosomet
hingcomfort
abl
e.

*
****
***

Wepi ckaquietrestauranti
nthemallandaskf
ora
seati
nt [Link]
easksforgreent
eawhil
eI
askforcoff
eeandandasandwi ch.
"Iseeyousti
lldr
inkcof
[Link]
hing'
snever
change"shelaughs.
"Andyounowdr
inkgr
eent
[Link]"
Ipoi
ntout
.
"
Iguessso"shegoesqui
etandIl
ookar
oundt
he
pl
ace.
Thewait
ercomeswit
hmycoffeeandhert
[Link]
bot
hlookathi
m whenhewal
ksaway.
"Sowhat'
sgoingonwithLi
ndo?"Igofi
rstbecause
shei
sn'tvol
unteer
ingwi
tht
heinformat
ion.
"Whatmakesyouthi
nksomet
hingisgoingon?
"She
doeslookupwhi
chmeansIam ri
[Link]
ngi
s
goi
ngon.
"
Hearrivedinmyhousel
ateatni
ght
"not
hingsays
'
probl
em' l
iket
hat
.
Shetakesadeepbr
eat
handl [Link]
s
goneandnowIseeatroubl
edpersonacrossme.
"Hedoesn'
tlist
entoanythi
[Link]
[Link] payi
ngthousandsto
keephiminthatschoolNqubekobuthegoesand
steal
stheteacher
'scarandtakesitf
oraspin"she
bli
nksrapi
dlytocl
earthetearsinhereyes.
"Wasi
tthefi
rstt
ime?
"Isitbackwhenthewait
er
[Link]
whenhewalksaway.
"[Link] otakehim outofboardingschoolaf
tera
gir
lwascaughti nhisroom af t
[Link]
headmast erwouldn'tl
ethim cont
inuebecausethey
weretir
edofhi sbehavior.I
t'
samessNqubeko"t hi
s
ti
met hetearsfallonhereyes.
"Amandaisnotl
iket
hat
?"Iaskwhi
lehandi
nghera
handker
chief
.
"Amandai sanor malt
[Link] ngsand
[Link]
ngallthatsoIcandeal
withi
tbutLi ndoisadi
ffer
entstory"shewipesher
eyesandl ookatme.
"Doyout hi
nkmaybeLindoneedssomesor
tofa
ceremony?Imbel
eko?"It
stheonl
ythi
ngIcanthi
nk
ofrightnow.
"
Oraf
atherf
igur
e"sher
epl
ies.
"Youmeanhisfat
her
.Heneedsmeashi
sfat
her
"I
sayitst
rai
ght
.Theboycametof
indmef
ora
reason.
"IknowIshoul
dhavetol
[Link]
toblamefort
hisandIdohopeyouwil
lfor
giveme
someday"
Ican'tbutsmil
ebecausethisi
stheNothi
leIknow.
Evenbackt henshedi
dn'thaveaprobl
em wit
h
apologizi
ngwhenneeded.
"It
sgoingt otakeawhi
leforustoadj
[Link]
s
noteverydayyouwakeupaf at
hert
oteenager
[Link]
Idohopet hatyouwil
lgivemeenoughtimetowork
[Link]"
"
Thembekaseemsni [Link]
f
ootbutIthi
nksheisnice"shesmil
esandIcanfeel
mysel
frel
[Link]
ngswi l
lwor
kmuchbetterwit
h
t
hem gett
ingal
ong.
"[Link]
ysensi
ti
vebutveryki
nd"
Idon'taddthatI'
dlikehert
owatchhertongue
aroundher.
"Shei
sdi f
fer
entf
rom Nobuhl
eoranyoneel
seI
know"therei
sasmileonherface.
"[Link]
[Link] omake
call
"Ist
andupandwal [Link]
y
wonderi
ngwhat '
skeepi
ngmeaf terpr
omi si
ngto
call
.
*
****
*

Thembeka.

Phil
iisallgi
gglyonherphoneandIassumei t
's
Mlul
ekisoIdon' tdr
il
lherf
ordetai
lsi
nsteadImake
somet hi
ngtoeatandgol i
edowninthebedroom
wit
ht heplatenextt
[Link] i
ngsjustasI
wasst ar
tingtothi
nkaboutNqubekopromisi
ngto
cal
l.
"
Hey"Ianswer
.
"Mylove"hesoundsl
ikehei
sst
andi
ngneart
he
ocean.
"
Areyouhome?"Iaskbefor
emymindstart
s
wonder
ingandmakingnotsoni
ceconcl
usi
ons.
"
[Link]
leandIwentoutf
orcof
feet
ospeakaway
f
rom t
hekids"
"Okay.I
st hetal
kinggoi
ngwel
l?
"Iwonderwhatel
se
aretheytalki
ngabout.
"
Wear
enotki
ll
ingeachot
her
"hel
aughs.
"Hassheconfessedhavi
ngfeel
ingsforyou?
"Iask
str
aightoutsoNqubekoknowsthatIam onthe
l
ookoutal r
eady.
"What
?ComeonMaKhumalo"hesoundsshocked
buthecoul
dbepr
etendi
ngt
obeshocked.
"
Iguessshehasn'
[Link]
eal
lontheclear
Nqubeko.I
fyoucheatonmeweareneverf
ixi
ng
t
hingsagai
n"
"Whereisthi
scomingfrom? "Hesoundscal
m or
disappoi
ntedIcan'
ttel
lbuthisvoi
cesoundsfl
at.
"I
'
mj ustl
ett
ingyouknowsot her
eisnoconfusi
on.
Youandherbetternotevent
hinkabouti
t"Iwar
n
befor
eputti
ngaspooni nmymout h.
"
I'
llcomeseeyouassoonasIam doneher
e"
"
Sur
e"Ir
epl
ymymout
hful
loff
oodandendt
hecal
l.
"
Whoi
sher
?"AsksPhi
list
andi
ngatt
hedoor
.
Isi
[Link]
si
tonthebed."
[Link]
k"shesayswhenIdon't
speak.
Ist
artfr
om thebeginni
ngforherandshelist
ens
qui
etl
[Link]
ketal
kingtoPhil
ibecausesheli
stensand
shedoesn'tt
akeovertheconversat
ionbytel
li
ngme
[Link]
eusedtodot hata
l
ot.
"
SoNqubekohasgr
ownki
ds?
"Sheasks
"
[Link]
heri
sadoctorandshealreadytold
methatIshoul
[Link]
woman"Icli
ckmytongueandstaffmorefoodinto
mymout h.
"
Whydi
dyoul
eave?
"sheasks.
"[Link]
dn'
twantt
ogi
veheranymor
e
opport
uni
tytopissmeoff
"
"Butyouaresti
llpi
ssedof
[Link]
eavi
ngdi
dn'
t
solveanyt
hingatall
"
"ButNqubekocan'[Link] seallIwant
behindhi
[Link] hoseki
[Link] r
lhast hi
s
noseupatti
tudewhi l
etheboyisaspoi l
[Link]
15butcompl ai
ningabouteat
[Link]'t
evencookPhi l
i!
!"
"
Whyareyouyel
li
ng?
"Shel
[Link]
areatherand
l
aught
oo.
"I
'
mj ustfeel
[Link]
land
proper
.Hasaf igur
efordaysPhi l
[Link],I'
m pregnant.
Myboobswi llbesaggyandl eak,Imightnevergain
mynor [Link] dsareallgrown
whilet
hisbabyi smonthsaway"
"Youar efeel
ingl i
keawomanandi t
[Link]'
s
nat uraltobeal i
tt
lejealouswheni tcomestot here
thingsgi rl
.Relaxandeatyourf [Link] oves
youandi fyouar efeel
ingdownj usttalktohim
abouti [Link] herapistbutdon'tleti
t
stayi nyourmi ndbecauseyouwi l
lendupr esenting
yourl if
e"Iwishi twast [Link] op
seei ngherwhenshei sst andingt all
.Maybei fshe
hasoneeyeorabur stedliporbushyeyebr owsI
woul dfeelabitbet t
erbutshei sper fect.
"Let
'[Link]
eki
.Lastni
ght
youwer eallki
ssykissy"herf
acebr
eakint
oasmile
beforeshegiggle.
"
wewer
eal
lki
ssyki
ssyandiwantt
obeki
ssyki
ssy
agai
[Link]
ikest
ayover
"shehi
desherf
ace
behi
ndherhands.
"Youaregoingtogetlai
[Link] r
l"Igetofft
he
bedbecausenowIhavet oobsessaboutfindi
ng
somethingsexyforhertowear.
"Ithi
nkitmi
[Link]
ddi
nner
.Af
ormal
placesomewhere"
"Wehavet
[Link]"igr
abherar
m
aswebothleavet
hebedroom.
"
Idohaveaper
fectdr
ess"shet
ri
est
oresi
st.
"Youneedanewdressfort
hisonegi
rl
.Grabyour
phone"ihur
ryt
otheki
tchenandputt
hefoodinthe
fri
dge.
"Ineedshoestoo"shegoesbackt othebedr
oom.I
grabmycarkeysandcheckmyf aceint
hemirr
or
[Link]'
tlookl
ikeiwokeupandleft
eventhoughIreall
ydid.
"
Hur
ryup"ical
loutandopent
hedoor
.
"
I'
m done"sheappear
sappl
yingl
ipst
ick.
"
Wehavet
ouseNqubeko'
scar
d.I
twi
llmakeme
f
eelbet
ter
"it
ellheraswewal
kout
.
"[Link]..
..
."Shestart
stoarguebutst
op.
Prett
y'scarj
ustst
oppedatt hegat
[Link]
'sbeena
whilesincewespokeandiwashopi ngour
fri
endshipcanj
ustfizzl
eoutnatur
all
y.
Iopent
hegateforherandshedri
[Link]
ops
behi
ndmycarbutdoesn'tgetout
.Icl
osethedoor
whil
ePhil
iappr
oachesthecar.
"
Phi
li
"Ialsof
oll
owt
oseewhat
'skeepi
ngPr
ett
yin
t
hecar.
SheknocksinthewindowbecausePr
ett
y'sheadi
s
rest
ingonthewindow.
"Prett
y"webothbangthewi
[Link]'
tbea
[Link]
ustdrovei
n.
[Link]
hedoorand
astr
ongsmellofal
coholgreet
sus.
"
Shei
sdr
unk?
"AsksPhi
liopeni
ngt
hedoorwi
de.
WestareateachotherasPret
tysnor
esagai
nstt
he
seat
.Sheisdri
vingdrunk.
"
Pret
ty"It
ryt
owakeherupbuti
tsnothel
[Link]
i
sst
il
lsnor
ing.
"Thembeka"saysPhil
ipull
ingmyar [Link]
fri
ghtenedfaceandhereyesarefi
xesbehi ndme.I
turnaroundandtwomenar ewal
kinginsidethe
gate.
"
Don'
tmovel
adi
es"oneoft
hem pul
lsoutt
hegun.
"Wedon'
twantanytr
oubl
[Link]
ustwantmyst
uff
"
anot
hersaysasheappr
oachPret
ty'
scar
.
"Searchthecar "t
hef
ir
stmani
nst
ructtheother
.We
standst i
llasthemanget
sint
hecarandstart
searchingi t
.
"
Anyt
hing?
"Heasksaf
teramoment
.
"
Ther
eisnot
[Link]
[Link]
dn'
t
t
akemystaf
f"repl
iest
heoneinthecar
.
"Thenwet akeher
.Itwi
llhelpPret
tysoberup
quickl
y"saysthemangr abbingmyarms.
"Pl
easedon'
t..
..
"it
ryt
ospeakbutt
hemanput
sthe
gunonPhili
'
shead.
"Wedon'
twantt
[Link]'
tletmehurtyou.
Shest
olefr
om [Link]
nsmystaffi'
lll
et
[Link]
fyouresi
stthenimightki
llherandwe
bot
hdon'twantt
[Link]
ease"saysthemanl ooki
ng
atme.
Ist
areatmycousi
[Link]'
twantt
hese
menkil
li
ngher
.
"Pr
ett
yknowswheretof
indme"hesaysand
pushesmefor
ward.
Wewal kt
othecarandthemanopenst hedoor
bef oreIgeti
[Link]
il
l
standi ngint
hedr i
vewayst
ari
[Link]
tear sstar
tsst
reamingdownmyf aceasiwonderi f
i
'llseeheragain.
Chapt
er67

Phi
li
.

St
rongLanguageandVi
olence

Myheadgoesbl
ankf
[Link]
cht
hecar
dri
veoffbefor
eIhearDabul
a'
[Link]
i
sdemandi ngtoknowwhat'
[Link]
poi
nti
ngatnot hi
ngunabl
etosaywhat'
swr ong.
"Phi
li
"hegr
absmyshoul
der
sandgi
vemeal
it
tl
e
shake.
"
[Link] ookher
"Iyel
landthen
f
inal
lymyvoicebreakoutandIstar
tcryi
ngoutloud.
"Whoi sthi
s?"Hepoi
ntsatt
hesl
eepingPr
ettywho
seemst obedrool
ingwit
hhermouthopenina
disgusti
ngmanner.
"Theywantsomethi
ngshetookandtheytook
Thembekaforthat
"[Link]
o
tel
lhim.
Dabulai
salr
eadyonthephonemaki
ngacall
.Hei
s
tel
li
ngNqubekot
hatThembekahasbeent
akenby
someunknownmen.
"
Didyouseeanyt hingyoucani
denti
fycl
earl
y.
Anything?
"Hei saski
ngmewhilehol
dingthephone
wit
ht heotherhand.
It
ryt
orememberbutIcan'
t.I
t'
sli
keIi
magi
nedt
he
whol
ethi
ngbutIdi
dn'
tbecauseshei
sgone.
"It
hinksheisi
[Link]
ett
yisherepassedout
"
saysDabulawhenheseesmestruggletosay
anythi
ng.
"[Link]
ll
"hesaysandtakemyhandtohis"Hei
s
[Link]
odr i
nksomewaterandsi
t
[Link]'
sgoinsi
de"
"
Hehasdarkhair
.Hespokei nadif
fer
entt
one.
Al
mostli
kesomef ancyEngli
sh"It
ryt
ogetthe
memorybackbutIam fai
li
ng.
"I
t'
[Link]"saysDabula
squeezi
ngmyhandagai [Link] ghtneverseeher
agai
[Link]'t
?Ican'[Link]
er
ever
ythi
ngwe'[Link]
herbaby.
"Phi
li
.Keepbreathing"hefor
cesmet osi
tdown.
Pushingmyshoul dersdownunt i
lmykneesaccept
andIsitdownont [Link]
aconti
nuesto
coachmybr eat
hing.
*
****
***

NqubekoandMlul
ekiarr
iveatt
hesamet i
me.I'm
si
tt
ingonthegr
asswhileDabulai
sstandingnear
Pr
etty'
scarwhi
lesheconti
nuestosnore.
"Whathappened?"AsksMlul
ekicrouchi
ngi
nfront
[Link]
ytospeakbutthe
wordsdon'tmakesensewhenmi xedwitht
he
cryi
ng.
"
Whatdidshedri
nk?"AsksNqubekopul
li
ngPr
ett
y's
l
impbodyoutofthecar
.
I
'
m notsur
eifDabul
aisr
epl
yingort
heyar
ewai
ti
ng
f
ormetospeak.
"
It
'[Link]
ytocal
m down"saysMl
ulekipul
li
ng
meup.
Nqubekocarr
iesPrett
yi nsi
dethehouseanddrops
[Link] erand
for
cesmet odri
nk.
"
Phil
[Link]
t
[Link]
ease"saysNqubekosi
tt
ingon
[Link]
pethetear
sfir
st
andt r
ytoexpl ai
[Link] hosemencameinthe
[Link]'tdescri
betheirf
acesbutIr
emember
thei
rwor [Link]
yknowssomet hi
ngthatbel
ongs
tothem andt heytookThembeka.
"
Didt
heysaywhati
tis?
"AsksMl
u
"
[Link]
chedhercart
hough"
"
Soshet ookwhat
everitist
hatt
heywantandt hey
t
ookThembekasoPr ett
ycanbri
ngitback"says
Nqubekolooki
ngatPrett
y.
Inodandlookatheraswell.I
'veseendrunkpeopl
e
befor
[Link]'
tsleepl
iketheyaredrugged.
"Canyougetmeabucket .Acleaningbucket "says
Mlut oDabulawhodoessayanyt hingbutgoest o
thebathroom t
ogett hebucket .Hecomesback
withitandhandsi tt
oMl [Link] chhi m walktothe
kit
chenandt henihearthet apr [Link]
backaf t
erawhi l
eandwi thoutanywar ninghe
throwsthewat erinPret
ty'[Link] cecubes
l
[Link] umpsupasi facl i
ckhasbeen
turnedon.
"What
..
."Shest
art
stospeakbutNqubekodel
iver
sa
har
dslaponhercheek.
"
Wherei
smywi f
e?"HedemandsandPr
ett
y'seyes
f
il
lwi
tht
ear
sinstant
ly.
"Don'twor
ryaboutthecouch.I
twil
ldry"saysMlu
[Link].
"SpeakPrett
[Link]
e?Ar
e
youdoingdrugs?"Nqubekoconti
nuestodemandto
thenowcr yi
ngandshiver
ingpret
ty.
"
I'
m sorr
yIcanexplai
n"shet
ri
est
ogetupbut
Nqubekopushesherdown.
"
Whoar
[Link]
ear
etheyt
aki
ngmywi
fe?
!!"
"
HisnameisCl
ementMabal
a"sherepli
esandMl u
r
emoveshi
shandsonmyshoulderjustasNqubeko
t
urnshi
sheadt
owardshi
[Link] hi
s
manis.
"Mabal
[Link]
ementMabala?WhywouldClement
comeheretot
akeThembeka?"AsksNqubeko
movingawayfr
om Pr
ett
y.
"
Whoi
sCl
ementMabal
a?"AsksDabul
ataki
ngt
he
wor
dsoutofmymout
h.
"Somenerd"repl
iesNqubekobeforehetur
nst
o
Pret
ty"Whatcouldyoupossibl
ytakefr
om
Clement?
"
Shedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadshel
ooksdownandst
art
s
bi
ti
nghernail
s.
"Pr
ett
y"yel
lsMlumakingmejumpbecausei
tsa
voi
cei'
veneverhear
dhim usebef
ore.
"Icant
alkt
[Link] obr
ingThembekaback"
sheoff
ersandIexpectoneofthem t
ogi
veherthe
phonetomakethecallbutt
heydon't
.
"Whatdi
dyoutakePr
ett
yandwhydi
dtheyt
arget
Thembeka?
"demandsNqubeko.
Shedoesn'
treplyagai
nandIcanseet
hef
rust
rat
ion
onNqubeko'
sf ace.
"I
'
m askingyouforthelastti
[Link] dyoutake
fr
om him?"SaysNqubeko.I '
m notsureifPret
tyi
s
stupi
dorsheissti
llhi
ghf rom whateverdrugshei
s
usingbecauset
hisittheti
met [Link]
iwouldbesingi
ng.
Thereisamomentofsi
lenceandthenNqubeko
takeonest
epbefor
eheisbackinfrontofherand
hishandpul
lsoutt
hebeltf
rom hi
spants.
"Ican.
..
..
.."shetr
iestospeakbuti
tturnsint
oa
scream whent hebeltl
[Link]
deli
versthebeatingfasti
t'
shardtocounthow
manybef orehest opsandPret
tyconti
nuesto
scream.
"
Whatdi
dyout
ake?
"Hedemands
Shestil
ldoesn'ttal
kandNqubekocont i
[Link]
shetr
iestocoverherl egswithherarmshehi t
sthe
armsandit hinkherbackgetsahi tortwobecause
shesi
tsupqui ckl
yandNqubekocont inuestolay
thel
ashesal loverherlegsandthi
ghs.
"50kandmor
phi
ne"shesaysi
nbet
weent
he
scream.
"JesusChrist
"saysMlujustasNqubekost
opsand
staresatherinshock.
"R50000?Morphi
ne?"AsksNqubekol
ooki
ngather.
Shenodsherbodyshaki
ngandhernoserunni
ng.
Ihearacli
[Link]
meihear
dthat
soundmyar m goti
njur
[Link]
ulekii
spoi
nti
ngagun
atPret
ty.
"
Wher
eisi
t?"Hedemands
"Iwasdesper at
e.i.
..i
"shetri
estospeaki
ngand
stopsasthereisahol eandal i
tt
lesmokeonthe
couchjustfewi nchesawayf r
om herf
[Link]
arein
shockreal
izingthatMlulekij
ustshott
[Link]
Prett
yhadmovedhewoul dhaveshotherhead.
"Nextti
meiwon'tmi
[Link]
artt
alki
ng"demandshi
s
voicesoundi
ngcol
dandcruel
.
"Iwasdesper
[Link]
otofmoney.
Soistol
efrom Cl
ementandwenttopayOwen"she
expl
ainswhil
esobbing.
"OwenBurneri
sadrugdeal
[Link]
eyoudoi
ng
drugs?
"AsksNqubeko
"
It
'saonet
imet
hing"
Bot
hMl
ulekiandNqubekol
augh.
"Onet
imethi
ngfr
om Owen?Yeahri
[Link]
don'
tgost
rai
ghtt
othedeal
[Link]
eadr uggie?
"
AsksNqubekol
ooki
ngatherwi
thdi
sgust
.
"
Idi
dn'
tmeanf
ori
[Link]
ustt
ryi
ngt
o..
..
"
"Doesn'
tmatt
[Link]
efr
om Cl
ement
.Why
didtheycomeherethen?
"AsksMl
uleki
"Idi
dn'
tmeant oleadthem [Link]'
tknowthey
werefol
lowingme"sheexpl ai
nsandher
expl
anati
oni sawardedbysever alhi
tsfr
om
Nqubeko'sbelt
.Shecoversherf acetaki
ngitf
rom
herarmsandt hi
ghs.
"Youexposedmypr egnantgi
rlf
ri
endtoyourr
ubbish.
Youl edthem [Link]
s
familytoyourfil
th"hedel
iver
smor eandPett
y's
scream isnowhoar se.
Atl
asti
tst
opsandNqubekot
akeshi
sphoneand
st
art
smakingacal
l
.
"I
'
[Link]
ingbackmygi
rl
fr
iend
unharmed"hedemands.
Hel
ist
ensf
orawhi
leandt
henl
ookatPr
ett
y.
"Okayf
ine.I
'
llmakei
[Link]
ever
youneedandkeepsomechangetoti
eyouover
.
Justgi
vemebackthatwoman"Icanseetheshock
i
nDabula'
sfaceandPret
tyhasalsost
opped
sobbi
[Link]
ookingatNqubeko.
"[Link]
lsmeyoudi danythingto
herwearegoingtohaveaseriousproblem i
nour
hands.Youhave15mi nut
es"heendst hecalland
dropthephoneonthecoffeet
able.
"
And?
"AsksMl
uleki
.
"
Didyouknowt
hatJabuhascancer
?"Hel
ooksat
Mlul
eki
"
[Link]
houghtshewasj
ustt
hin"heshr
ugs.
"Clementsaysshei s"het ur
nstoPret
ty"Youknew
andyoust il
lstoleallthatmoneyandt hatmor phi
ne
from hi
[Link] opoft hat,youknewtherewasno
wayhewoul dn'tcomeaf teryousoyoul eadthem
heretomyf ami [Link] i
skedthei
rli
vesf orcoke
habitPret
[Link] dyou? "
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
ust
..
..
."Shet
ri
est
ospeak.
"Youknewtheywil
ltakeThembekat
ogetmeto
[Link]
emanfor
yourownhi
[Link]
dyoubesosel
fi
sh?
"
"Andtothi
nkyouencour
agedthefri
endship
betweenherandThembeka"saysMlul
eki.
"Ithoughtshewasagoodper [Link] ong.
Youar ethekindIdon'
twantanywherenearanyone
Iknowandcar eabout
.Nx"hecli
ckhistonguein
disgustandleavesthel
ounge.
"Areyouokay? "AsksMl ulekiputt
inghi shands
[Link] hefir
stt i
mesi nceI '
veknownhi mI
don'tfeelt
hewar mthinsteadIf [Link]
sisnot
thekindoflif
eIthoughtt hecitywoul doffer
.
Chapt
er68

Thembeka

Idon'tknowwhereIam butit'
[Link] ar
geand
beautif
ulhousewit
htallt
[Link]
ed
met olaydownont heseatsoIdon'tseewherewe
[Link] ri
vedthey
order
edmei nsidebefor
eIcouldevent r
ytofi
gure
outwher [Link] herguyleftleavingmewi th
theotherguywhoaskedmei fIwant edsomet hi
ng
[Link] erbutdidn'tdrinki
tjustin
casei t
'[Link] her e
themant ol
dmePr et
tyst ol
efrom him andheneeds
[Link] dn'ttel
lmewhatshest ole.I
askaboutmycousi nandhet oldmet orel
axt hey
won'tharm [Link] deahowi sthat
supposedt owor [Link] elaxwhen
takenatgunpoi nt.
"
Youmustbehungr
[Link]
e"saysthef
ir
stman
wal
kingi
nwi
thabrownpaperbag.
"Ihopeit'
[Link]
can'tberi
ski
ngcholesterol
"saysthesecondguy
hisvoicecomingoutfrom thespeakeronthetabl
e.
"It
'snot
hinghect
[Link]"herepli
es
ashesitsdownandt earthepaperbagtoreveala
takeaway.
Thesmellfi
ll
[Link]
i
tdoesn'
tlooklikeacur
[Link]
ooksli
keboiledbeef
[Link]
eissalad.
"Di
dyoubr i
ngmesome?
"Askst
hevoi
ceont
he
speakeragai
n.
"I
nthekit
chen"herepli
eswhi
lebit
ingrawchi
ll
ies
l
ikeheiseati
ngcarrot
[Link]
chhim chewand
swall
ow.I'
m wait
ingforst
eam t
ocomeoutofhi s
earsandmouth.
"Eat
.It
'sgett
ingcol
dandyourstomachis
complaini
ng"hepoint
sthepaperbag.
Il
ookati
tandt
henbackathi
m.
"
Whydi
dyout
akeme?
"
"Pr
et t
yst ol
eandwedesperatel
yneedthat
morphi [Link]
iendswit
hheranyway?
Surelyawomanl i
keyoucanhaveotherfri
ends.
Betterfri
endsnotuser
s"hishandbrusheshisnose
whenhement ionuser
s.
"Idon'tt
[Link]
'sMbonambi'
s
girl
fr
iend"saystheot
herguywalki
ngin.
"
Mbonambi?
"Hel
ooksatmel
ikehei
swai
ti
ngf
or
met
oexplai
n.
"
Him"heshowshi
m ont
[Link]
hlook
atme.
"Thatbi
tch"cur
sestheeat
ingguyasheput
sdown
hismealandstandsup.
"Sheknewwhatshewasdoi
ng"agr
eest
hesecond
guy.
Theybothl
ookatmeandthentheothersi
tsdown
whil
etheot
hergoest
ostandnearthewindow.
"
[Link]'
twantyout
ogobackhungr
[Link]
wil
lki
llme"sayst
hemanneart
hewindow.
IwanttoarguebutIst
opmysel [Link]
haven'
thi
tmeorsai danythingbl oodchi
lli
ngsoI
havetoworkwiththem t
oensur etheydon'tsnap.
MyhandshakesasIt akethet akeawayoutand
openit
.It
sacookedmeal andi tsmell
sgood.
It
aket
hepl
ast
icspoonandputt
het
akeawayonmy
l
ap.
Aphonestart
sringi
ngandthemanlooksati
t
bef
[Link] l
eftwi
tht
heeati
ngguy
andIcan'
thelpwonderi
ngwhyam Ieati
nga
di
ff
erentmeal.
"Iboughtt
hisi
[Link].I
nhl
oko"he
saysandshowt het
akeawayt ome.
"Ihaven'teat
eninhlokolat
[Link]?"I
askmyeyesnotmovi ngfr
om themeat .Gr
owingup
theyusedt ogiveittoboysandusgirlswouldget
[Link]'
tmeanwedi dn'tgett
otast
e
i
t.
"
Here"het
akesseveral
piecesandput
sthem onmy
t
akeawaybef
oresit
ti
ngbackdown.
"
Thanks"Ist
arteat
ingr
[Link]
at
i
sthi
sbabygoingtobeifIam eati
ngli
kethi
s.
Weeatsil
ent
lyunti
lIam doneandmybodyst
art
s
cravi
ngt
[Link]
ubbi
ngmy
eyes.
"[Link] hatsl
eepi
ngal ot
duri
ngpregnancymakest hebabysleepduri
ng
l
abor"hesaysinafriendl
ytoneandIlaugh
i
magi ni
ngthebabybusypushingandt hendeci
ding
tonapinbetween.
"Ican'
thel
pit
"Ihopebyt
hatt
imeI
'
llbebet
tert
han
now.
Astrangesoundst
art
sbeepi
ngandthemangets
[Link]
umpupbecausesomet
hingisgoi
ngon.
"
Ineedhel
p"sayst
hevoi
ceont
hespeaker
.
Themanhur r
iesoutandIam leftst
andingnotsure
i
fIshouldfol
loworsitst
il
[Link]
tt
ingsti
llsoundsl
ikea
goodideasoIsitdownagain.
"
Thembeka"avoi
cecall
saf teramomentandIr ush
t
[Link]
sal ar
gefamil
y
r
oom wi
thapassagethatleadst ootherdoor
s.
Istandtherest
unnedabi t
.Ther oom i
sbr
ightand
wellfur
nishedeventheportr
aitsonthewallt
hey
givetheroom awelcomingeffect.
"I
nhere"call
st hevoiceagainandIf ol
lowwher ei
t
camef r
[Link] ldoorsareclosedint hepassage
exceptforonedoorandIwal kstraighttoi
[Link]
seethemani [Link]
'sabedroom.
Averylargebedroom withlargewi ndows.
"Pl
easehelpmewi t
hthis"sayst
[Link]
l
[Link]
eis
someoneont hebed.I
t'
sawomanandsheseems
thr
owingupont hebucketheishol
ding.
"
Pleasehandmethattoweli
nthatdr
awer"hepoi
nts
t
hechestofdr
[Link]
yoverandtaket
wo
t
owels.
Hel
owersthebucketanduset
het owelnearthe
woman'
[Link]
ket her
e
i
ssomethi
ngrippi
ngandherbreathi
ngisloud.
"Shemi [Link] easehol dthe
towelliket
his.I'
l
lqui
ckl
yr i
nsethebucketi nthe
bathroom"heasksandInodbef or
et akinghisplace.
Het akesthebucketandleavethebedr oom leavi
ng
mewi t
[Link] tert
he
coughingf i
tsheopensthem [Link] are
backwonder i
ngwhatcouldbemaki nghert hissick.
"CanIhavesomewat er? "[Link]
oll
owher
eyesandseewher ethewat eri
[Link]
pourthewateri
ntoagl [Link] l
esandt r
iesto
rai
sehersel
fuptodr i
[Link]
helpherupbefor
ehol dingtheglasstoherli
[Link]
dri
nksgentl
euntilshepushest heglassawayf r
om
herli
ps.
"
Thankyou"shesmi
leswhenIl
owerherbackt
othe
pi
ll
ow.
Igobacktomyposit
ionwit
hthet
owelbutshe
doesn'
tseem t
obenauseasnow.
ThemancomesbackandIstandupt
olethi
m si
t
butherhandt
ouchesmyf
inger
s.
"St
ayabi t
.Ihaven'tseenapret
tyfacei
ndaysnow.
Nooffensemyl ove"shesaystothemanandhe
smil
esather.
"AndIt
houghtIwasprett
y"hebendsoverandki
ss
herdar
kandthinl
[Link]
esathi
m andthen
l
ookatme.
"Youarepret
ti
ert
hanhi
m"herhandsf
eeldr
yand
[Link]
ever
ythi
nandlong.
"Thankyou"Ican'
tsayshel
[Link]'
t
uglybutsheisver
ysicksoIdon'
tsayanyt
hing
aboutheratall
.
"Thembai
[Link]
t"sayst
heman
befor
ehel
eavestheroom.
West
ayinsil
encef
orf
ewminuteswhi
leherf
inger
s
ar
ebusyt
raci
ngmyownfi
ngersonthebed.
"I
t'
scancer"shesaysandcont i
nuesbeforeIcoul
d
focusonwhatshei ssayi
ng"[Link]
s
nothi
ngelselef
t.I
'
mj ustwai
tingforti
[Link] i
nal
moment"
Ireal
lydon'
tknowwhatt osaysoIstareathermy
facefai
li
[Link]
se
herhandasshepoi ntssomethi
nginthewindow.
Myeyesf ol
lowwher esheispoi
nti
ngandIcansee
pinsonthecurt
ains.
"GrowingupIusedt odesignclothesformydolls.
Uset hesepi
nstohol dthefabri
[Link] i
mesI
woul dcutt
hecurtai
nsi fIwantedthatfabri
[Link]
mot herwouldyel
lbutmyf atherwouldtellhert
olet
[Link] dofferhernewcur tai
nsandIwoul d
getnewmat eri
alformydesi gns"shesmi l
esandI
fi
gur ei
t'
sprobabl
yherhappi estmemor y.
"Isti
llhavet
[Link]
doesn'tevenknowwhatdowi t
ht [Link]
nto
scienceandfashionIforei
gntohi m"
I'
m st
il
lnotsurewhatt
osayaboutallt
his.I
'
venever
hadadollletal
onemakingcl
othesf
[Link]
dn'
t
evenhaveparent
ssoever
ythi
ngshei
ssayi
ngi
s
j
ustfor
eigntomet oo.
"Youcanhavet [Link] nsandthedesi
gns"she
saysaft
erashor tsi
[Link]
eatheri
nshock.
Shedoesn'[Link] ookmeat
gunpoint
.
"
Me?Whyme?
"
"Becauseeveryt
hinghappensf orareason
[Link] helastdrawerformepl ease"she
request
[Link] [Link]
'sful
lof
[Link]
ckbooksanddi ar
ies.
"Takethenavydi
ari
[Link]
loft
hem"shesaysher
voicesoundi
ngstr
ongert
hanbefor
e.
Itakeallf
ourofthem andcl
[Link]
sitbackdownont hebedinoti
cethathernosei
s
runningsoItakethet
owelandwi pei
t.
"
Thanks"shesmi
lesandhehandsbr
ushagai
nst
myhand.
"Sothesear
eyourdesi
gns?
"Iaskl
ooki
ngatt
he
diar
ies.
"[Link] hecancerbeganIusedt ocont i
nue,
thi
nkingiam str
ongert [Link]
[Link] i
[Link]
seeifyoudon'tfal
linlovewithit
"shesmi lesandi
[Link] i
mesowhathar m cant hi
sdo.
"
Idoi
t"isaywhi
lesmi
li
ng.
"
Igoti
t.I
tsnotmucht hough"saysavoi
cebef
ore
f
ootst
epsapproach.
Bothmanwalkinandwestar
eatt
[Link]
are
backasi
ftheyaresur
pri
sedt
oseeus.
"
Ever
ythi
ngokay?
"Heasksl
ooki
ngather
.
"Wearet
alki
ngdol
ls"shesmi
lesandt
heman
smil
esback.
"
Herhusbandi
sher
e"sayst
heot
herman.
"
Maybeshecanvi
sitagai
nsoon"sayst
heman
l
ooki
ngatme.
"Yeah.I'l
lcomeseeyouagai
n"itel
lherwhile
smi l
[Link]
ousl
ydoesn'
tknowt hatiwas
kidnapped.
"
Taket
hepi
nst
oo"shesmi
les
Ist
andupandgot akethepi nsonthecurtai
ns.
[Link]
lofthem andher
husbandpinst
hem ont hehandker
chiefbefore
putt
ingt
hem onthediaries.
Igobacktoherandhugherbef
oreki
ssi
ngher
cheekasshesqueezesmyhand.
"I
'
llseeyousoon"Iwhi
spert
oherandshenodsnot
openinghereyes.
"Letmecar rytheseforyou"of fersthemabt aking
thediari
[Link] hem overandf oll
owhim [Link]
thedoorit ur
nbackandl [Link] ssitt
ing
ont hespotandshei sl ookingathi [Link]
quietl
yandf ol
[Link] sideI'
m surpri
sedto
findNqubekol eani
ngagai nstt
hecar .Ihurr
ytohim
andwr apmyar msar oundhi [Link] dsmetight
andonl ythenIstartcrying.I'
mf eeli
ngsadf orher.
Chapt
er69

Thembeka
Wedr i
vesilent
lyunti
lwegethome.I'
m surpri
sedto
fi
ndPhiliwithMlul
ekisi
tti
ngonthecouchwhi l
e
Dabulaiskicki
ngtheballwit
htheki
[Link]
li
j
umpsupandhugsmewhenwewal ki
[Link] eel
hershakingasIwr apmyownar msaroundher .
"Theydi
dn'
thur
tyou?"Sheaskswhil
elooki
ngatme
asifshei
ssear
chingforbr
uises.
"
Not
heydi
dn'
t"Ihol
dthedi
ari
est
ighti
nmyhands.
"That
'[Link] ed"shewi
pesthetears
i
[Link]
esback
befor
ehim andNqubekodeci detol
eavet
heroom.
Webot hwatchthem l
eavebef or
ewebothexhaleat
thesametime.
"
What
'st
his?
"Shel
ooksatmyhands.
"
Diar
[Link]
hinkIneedabat
handanap"I
'
m not
r
eadytotalkabouti
tyet
.
Shedoesn'tpr
esssoIheadtothebedr
oom andput
thedair
iesi
nmydr awerbef
oregoi
ngtothe
bathr
oom.
Thewat
eri
shotsoIj
ustst
andt
her
ewhi
lei
tst
art
s
fr
om myheadanddownt omyt [Link]'
thelpbut
[Link]
ngher
.Sheissothi
nandshel ooks
l
ikeshei sal
waysi
npain.
Ashar pknocksnapmeoutoft hethought [Link]
urn
theshowerof fandgr abat owel
.It'
[Link]
staresatmebef orehewr apshi
sar msar oundme.
Whenhedoest hisitalwaysmakesmef eelsosmall.
Likeachildbeingcomf ort
edbyapar [Link]
s
shirtandcontinuet ocryunti
lheencouragesmet o
walkt [Link] l
ehekneelsinfrontofme.
"[Link]
il
lsmi
leseventhoughit
doeslookli
keithurt
sbutshest
illdoesi
t"It
ellhi
m
betweenthesobs.
"Cancerishardmylove.I'
m sorryyougotexposed
tothat"hetr
iest
owi pethetearsinmyeyesbutit'
s
[Link] ar
tIdon'tstop.
"
HowcouldPrett
ydosuchathing?It
houghtshe
[Link]
dshestealher
medi
cat
ion?
"
"Pr
ettyi
[Link]
usersar
eself
ishMaKhumalo"hishandsar
eonmy
kneesnow.
"
Wher
eisshe?
"hercari
snoteveni
nthedr
iveway.
"Idon'
[Link]
dhertomakesur
eIneverseeher
again"hi
shandssqueezemykneesbeforehelooks
uptomyf ace"HowdoImakeyouf eelbet
ter
?"
"Makelovetome"Irequestandlowermyheadto
kisshi
[Link]
tat
ionforasecondbutki
ssme
back.
"
Dabul
aandt
heki
ds"hewhi
sper
sagai
nstmyl
ips.
"
Lockt
hedoorandI
'
llbequi
et"Isuggest
.
"[Link]
makelove"hedoesn'
tmovewhi
chmakesmet hi
nk
hedoesn'
twantto.
"
Andyourki
ds?
"
Icant
ellhet
otal
lyf
orgotaboutt
hem.
"Wecangotoahot
elt
hen"hesuggest
swhi
le
standi
ngup.
"
It
'sokay.I
'
llj
ustsl
eep"Ir
emovet
hepi
ll
owandpul
l
t
hecoverback.
"Sorrymyl [Link] othersome
[Link] [Link] f
i
t'slateatnightorsomet hi
ng"hereall
ydoesl ook
uncomf ort
abl eandIdon'tgeti
[Link] n
thecaront hesi deoftheroadanditwasal lhim.
Nowwear ei nsi
det hehousebutheisallweird.
"
It
'sfi
ne"Icrawli
ntobedwi
thoutevenbot
her
ingt
o
wearsomething.
"
Areyounothungr
y?"
"[Link] [Link]
osl eepfora
bit
"Ipullt
heblanketovermyhead" I
'
llcallyoulat
er"
Iadd.
Hedoesn'treplyinsteadIheart hedooropenand
cl
[Link] deverwalk
awayf r
om [Link] osemyeyesandt rytoimaginea
perf
[Link] ldwherethereisnopai nand
peopleli
kePrettydon' texi
standill
nesseslike
Cancerdon'[Link]
lduntilIdr
iftt
o
sl
eep.

*
****
****
*
Nqubeko.

If
indMlul
ekiandPhil
iint
hekit
[Link]
ng
whil
eheisjustst
andi
ngther
ewatchingher.
"
IsThembekasl
eepi
ng?
"AsksMl
uleki
"[Link]
sgood"Icompl imenthersoshecan
[Link]
keasmili
ngPhi l
[Link] snot
smili
ngIi magi
nehercr yi
ngandi t
ssomet hingI
don'tli
keatall
.If
eel l
ikeshehasgonet hroughalot
i
nl i
feandshedeser venothingbuthappiness.
"Ihopeitwi
lltastegoodtoo"sherepl
iesquiet
lyand
[Link]
theyhaven'
ttalked.
"I
'
m sureitdoes.I'
l
lbebackforaplate"It
rytocheer
uphopingtogetal aughbutwhatIgetdoesn'
t
soundli
keal [Link]
ntoMlul
ekiandnodbef or
e
walki
ngout.
Icheckt
hebackandfi
ndDabul
asti
llpl
ayi
ngwit
h
theki
[Link]
untomeandIbracemysel
ffor
i
mpact
.
"
Iscor
ed"t
heybot
hsayatt
hesamet
ime.
"[Link]
mewear eal
lpl
[Link]
nstus"
IpointatDabul
[Link]
hlookatusandlaugh.
"Wewi l
lgiveyouguysabeat i
[Link]"one
saysast heyfi
[Link] he
ballt
oCel i
[Link]
ketheboys,Celi
weisquietand
[Link]
eensbutever yone
i
shappyt oseeherst
illpl
aywitht
heboys.
"Ever
ythi
ngokay?"Iast
oDabul
aaswekeepasaf
e
dist
ancefrom t
hegame.
"
Yeahever
ythi
ngi
sfi
ne"her
epl
ies.
"I
'm goinghomef orabit.I'
llcomecheckon
Thembekal at
[Link] [Link] o
for
getaboutPr et
[Link] dwasi r
responsibl
e
butI'vesor
[Link] semotionalbutI'
m
hopingshewi l
lbeabi [Link]
don'tneedtowor r
yaboutanyt hi
ng"Iassurehim.
"
[Link]'
tbeat
tackedbysomeunknown
men?"
"[Link]
usMlul
ekiwantstoti
ght
enupt hesecur
it
y.I
t
makeshimfeelneededsodon'
ttakeitasi
fweare
tr
yingt
oundermineyouoranyt
hing"hemightbea
chil
dbuthei
sstil
lthemanofthi
shouse.
"
Hei
snotst
ayi
ngover
,ri
ght
?"
"
Nohei
snot
"
"[Link]
espectt
heguyandallbutIcan'
tjustsl
eep
knowingheis.
..
..
"Ist
ophi
m beforehesaysi t
.
"It
otal
lyunder
[Link]
lii
scookingandMl
uleki
is
notspendi
ngani ght
"Iassurehi
m.
Henodsandl
ookatt
heki
ds.
"Theyknownothi
ngandwehavetokeepi
tthatway.
Fragi
lemindsneedt
obeprot
ect
ed"
"[Link]
or
something"hesaysandtur
nhisatt
enti
ont
ome.
"
Whati
sit
?"
"
I'
dli
ket
[Link]
icensedgun"
I'
m notshocked.I
nhi
sposi
ti
onIwoul
dal
soaskt
he
samet hi
ng.
"
Nopr
obl
[Link]
l
ltal
kabouti
twhenIgetback"
"
ThanksBhut
i"
Inodandsaybyet
otheki
ds.

*
****
***

Thef i
rstthingInot i
cewhenIgethomei sdi
[Link]
l
oungei sempt ybutt hecoffeetablei
scoveredby
[Link] ei sawetst ainont hefl
ooranddirty
footstepsleadingtot [Link]
thekitchenandf i
nditwor [Link]
sosmellsl
ike
burningcooki [Link] l
scrushedonthef l
oor.
Potatoepeel sont hef l
oorandi cecubesmelti
ngon
thetable.
Iwalktot
hebackandfindthedooropenandmusi
c
comingfr
om thesi
[Link]
ndois
swimmingwhilet
heradioispl
ayi
ngonthepool
chai
[Link] ops.
"
Comeoutplease"Igrabatowel
andt
hrowi
ttohi
m
whenheget
soutoft hepool.
"Whendidyougetback?I
smum awake?
"Hewi
pes
hisupperbody.
"
Yourmot
heri
sher
e?"
"[Link]
eepi
[Link]
ebot
h
sleepi
ng"hetur
nstheradi
ooff.
"Ithoughtsheleft
"Ilef
tinsuchahurrywhenI
[Link] et
ely
skippedmymi [Link] amemet [Link]
onebecomesani nstantf
atherandgeti
tallperf
ect
thatfast.
"
Shei
sleavi
ngl
ater
"her
epl
iesandl
ooksatme.
"
Whathappenedt
otheki
tchen?
"
"Ohthemess?Whendoest hecl
eanerar
ri
ves?I
tri
edtopickupaf
termysel
fbuti
twasabi gf
ail
"he
shrugs.
"Ther
eisnocleaner
.Comecleanthemess"Itur
n
[Link]
lowsandthe
smellofcooki
ngoil
shit
sharderwhenyouwewal k
i
n.
"
Leavet
hedooropenandcl
eant
hismess"
Helooksli
kehewantstocomplainbutchangeshis
[Link]
m ashedisappeari
ntothelounge.
Igotothebedr
oom andchangemyt-shi
rtbef
ore
goi
ngtoknockintheguestbedr
[Link]
opensandNothi
leappearswear
ingmygown.
"
Sorr
yIcoul
dn'
tfi
ndanyt
hingf
it
ti
ng"shei
scl
ear
ly
waki
ngfr
om sl
eep.
"
Whywoul
dyouf
indanyt
hingf
it
ti
ngi
nmyhouse?
"
Sheseemst
akenbackbymyt
one.
"
IsThembekaokay?
"
"Shei
sfi
[Link]
dn'tyout
eacht
heki
dst
ocl
ean
upaft
ert
hemsel
ves?"
"
BecauseIwasbusyt
ryi
ngt
oear
nal
ivi
ng!
!"
ThedooropenswiderandAmandawalksout.I
'
m
st
art
ingtothi
nkshewasbornwitht
hisexpr
ession
onherface.
"
Didyouseet
hemessLi
ndomadei
ntheki
tchen?I
t
l
ooksli
keast
orm bl
ewi
n"
"
Soyoudon'
thaveahousekeeper
?"AsksAmanda
pushi
nghergl
asseswi
thhermi
ddl
efi
nger
.
"EvenifIdohaveahel
peri
tdoesn'tmeanyoucan
j
ustmessupt hekit
chenandleaveitforsomeone
[Link]
shouseisal
waysspotlessforareason"
Shelooksatmeandt
henshr
ugsbef
oreshewal
ks
away.
"Soyouthi
nkyoucandoabet
terj
ob?
"Shef
older
herarmstoherchest
.
"
[Link]'
twantspoi
ledki
dsNot
hil
e"
"That
'sj
ustrudeandunnecessar
y"shesounds
annoyedbutit
'snomatchtomyownannoyance.
"Thenst
artt
eachi
ngthem t
okeepacleanhouse"
myphonevibrat
esandit
'sTikosoIwal
kawayf r
om
her.
"Tal
ktome"Isaywhi
lechecki
ngt
omakesur
eno
oneisfol
lowi
ngme.
"[Link]
sgoi
ngt
her
etoni
ght
"
saysTiko.
"
[Link]
uctedforabi
tbuti
t'
sgoi
ngto
wor
koutjustfi
ne.I'
m sendi
ngyouanaddr
essanda
phot
[Link]
okeepaneyeonher
.Sheowes
mebigti
me"
"
Sur
ethi
ng"saysTi
ko.
"Shar
p"IendthecallandsendPret
ty'
sphot
oalong
withheraddr
[Link]'
tthi
nkshewon't
bepayingmeback.
If
ini
shupandgobackinsi
[Link]
seIfind
AmandaandLi
ndobusycleani
ngtheki
tchen.I
st
andther
eandwatch.

*
****
***

Phi
li

Wear einMl ul
eki'
[Link] t
edformet o
fi
nishcookingandt henaskedi fwecancomet ohis
placeeventhoughwecan' [Link]
eventsofthedayr ui
nedal lpl
anssoIdi shedupon
aTupper warecontainerandbroughtfoodwi thus
sohedoesn' thavetomakecal lsorder
ingdinner.
Icannevergetusedt [Link] i
rstsur pr i
se
wast hef actthatithasnodi vidingwal l
si nside.
WhenIaskedhesai ditwasanopenpl [Link] ded
Ili
ketheopenpl anbuti hasadnopr [Link] ein
thekitchenandyoucanseeandt al
ktot heper son
i
nt [Link] asci natingpar tisthest ai
rs.
Yesthi shousehasst air
sl eadingyout ot hetop
fl
[Link] ooklikeaspr ingt hatcomesf rom t he
groundandl [Link] epont he
stai
rst heyglowi ngoldcol our .WhenIaskedi fthey
werest rongenought osuppor taf atpersonhe
l
aughedandsai dtheywer est rongenought o
suppor tthewhol [Link] dn'taskanyf urther
detai
ls.
Todayit
'sdif
ferentt
[Link] ebothquietasI
di
shupt hefoodandputtheleftoversi
nthefridge.
HetakestheplatesandIcarr
ythej ui
cetothe
di
ningtabl
[Link] l
sachairformeandt hentake
hi
sownsi t.
"Areyouokay?Iknowi'
m aski
ngforathi
rdt
ime
sincewelef
tthehouse"heasksput
ti
ngdownhis
fork.
"I
'
mf i
ne"i'
ml yi
[Link]
quest
[Link]
ionst
oask.
"Icant
ellwhenyouar
enotbeingt
rut
hful
"he
doesn'
ttakehi
seyesoffme.
"
How?
"It
aket
hegl
assandpr
etendt
osi
pthej
uice.
"
Youblinkrepeat
edlyandwhenyouliejoki
lyyoudo
t
hissexybreathl
esslaught
hatmakesmehar d
i
nstant
lybutri
ghtnowIcant el
lyouarenotokay"
Iam socaughtoutIdon'
tevenhavet
hest
rengt
hto
argue.
"I
'm [Link] hi
splacepeopleselltheirf
riends
foraqui ckfi
[Link] eal
swhati smeantt o
keepsomeoneof ft
hepainforawhi le?Ijustcan't
getmyheadar oundt [Link]
gunpl acedonmyhead.I twasn'tthefir
standI 'm
wonder inghowl ongbeforesomeonedoesn' tjust
pointitbutpull
st hetri
gger
"mybodyseemst o
shiverasmymi ndbui l
dthereal
ityoutofwhatIj ust
said.
"Ihavethr
eeki
dsMl
uleki
.Ican'
tbei
nthose
sit
uati
ons"
"Andyouwon' [Link]
ett
ydidwas
i
rresponsibl
eandsheisneverhangi
ngar
oundyou
everagain"
"Andyoualmostshotherheadr i
ghtinThembeka'
s
l
ounge"Myvoi cesoundshigherandIcanseehim
ti
lt
inghi
sheadbackabi twhilerai
singhi
seyebrows
andhisl
ipspressedtoget
her.
"What?Youal
mostkill
edher"Iaddjustt
ohe
doesn'
tthi
nkI
'm bei
nghysteri
calf
ornoreason.
"ButIdi
dn'
t.I
fIai
medforPr
ett
y'sheadIwouldn'
t
havemissedandIwoul
dn'
tdoitinThembeka'
s
house"
"
That'
snott
hepoi
nt"myhandshitt
het
abl
emaki
ng
t
heforkj
umpupabitonthepl
ate.
"Soyouareangr
[Link]
o
expr
essit
"hesmiles.
"
I'
m gl
adyout
hinki
t'
sfunny"Isnap.
"I
t'
snotbutIli
keitwhenyouarevocal.I
tmakesme
[Link]
mesi t
'sni
cetobeyell
[Link]
ki
ndofyell
ingthough"hewi
nks.
"
Iam ser
iousMluleki
.Thi
sisnottheki
ndofl
if
eI
want
.Ihaddif
ferenti
deaabouttheci
ty"
"Okayfi
ne.I'
m sor
ryyougotexposedtoal
lthat.
That'
sjustt
hesadt r
uthaboutt
hecit
ymyl ove.I
t'
sa
j
ungle"hetakesmyhandst ohi
s.
"Andhowdoweknowt hatwearesaf
e?Theki
ds?"I
getthi
sdist
urbi
ngimagei nmyheadwher
eCeli
we
i
sl ayi
ngonthegroundbleedi
ng.
"I
'l
lneverletanythinghappent oyouandyour
famil
[Link] otr
[Link]
suspectedthatPr [Link] l
knowbet t
er .Pl
usi '
llhaveanewsecur i
tysystem
i
nstall
[Link] et hatit
'scompletely
safe"
Inodandlookatt
hef
oodInol
ongerhavean
appet
it
efor.
"
Pleaseeat
.Idon'
twantyoupassi
ngout
"
"
WhywouldIpassout
?"Ipi
ckupt
hef
orkandst
ab
apot
ato.
Hel
ooksatmeandsmi
lewhi
lebi
ti
nghi
sli
ps.I
watchashi seyebrowsgoupandt hendown.
SometimesIcan' tgetoverhowhandsomeMl uleki
i
[Link] all
erthenmeandl argertoobutheisnot
fatj
[Link] l
esit'
salazysmi l
ethat
seemstost artfr
om heeyesanddownt ohi
slips.
Whenhewal kshewal ksstr
aightbuttendtoti
lthis
headbackabi twhenhei sl
ookingdownatme.
"Becausei
'
m goi
ngtohaveyouscreami
ngmy
namewhenwear [Link]"

*
****
***

Wef ini
sheati
ngandIwasht hedisheswhi
leMlul
eki
wipesthetabl
eandsweept hefl
[Link]
ghti
sthe
nightandIam sonervousnowthatwearedone
eati
ngandI '
m donewiththedi
shes.
Ihangtheswaponthesinkandtakeadeepbreat
h
befor
eturni
ngt
[Link] lesandt
akemy
handaswewalktowardsthestai
rs.
"
Arewel
eavi
ngt
hel
ight
son?
"
"Ther
eisaswi tchint
heendofthestair
s"hegoes
upandIf ol
[Link] eacht
het ophepresses
thebutt
onandt hewholedownstai
rsitdar
kleavi
ng
thegl
owingst air
s.
Wewal
ktot
hebedr
oom andcl
oset
hedoorbehi
nd
us.
"
I'
m ner
vous"Il
ethi
m know.
"
Icanfeel
.It
'st
otal
l
yokay"hesmi
lesandst
andi
n
f
rontofme.
"
Ihavesomenast
yst
ret
chmar
ks"
Hel
aughsandpul
lmecl
oser
.
"[Link]
ng"helaughsandkissmy
l
[Link]
art
sgentl
ebutgetsdeeperquickl
y.
Theclothescomeofff
astbefor
eI'm bei
ngl
ower ed
tobed.
"
Prot
ect
ionpl
ease"Imanaget
oremi
ndhi
m.
Her ol
lsof
fmeandwal [Link]
ns
quickl
yandthr
owsal i
tt
[Link]
awaywhenhet akeshi
sclothesoff
.Helaughsand
grabsmylegsbeforet
hepantiescomeoff.I
'm
nakedandIcanseemyowncel l
uli
teandstretch
[Link]'tf
li
nchinsteadheki ssesmy
thi
ghsbefor
eopeningthenwi [Link]
buthedoesn'
ttakelongbeforekissesmyst omach.
"I
'
llbeslowl
ynexttime"hewhispersandthencome
uptomyf [Link]
sshim backfeel
inghi
m sett
le
betweenmyl egs.
"
Pleasedon'
tfor
gett
hecondom"Ir
emi
ndhi
m.
Hedoesn'
trepl
ybuther
eachesf
orthel
itt
leboxand
openi
[Link] andr
aisehimsel
f
up.
"Youaregoingt
otouchme"hel aughsandgr
absa
pil
[Link]
houtanywarninghepull
smeupandput
thepil
lowundermybottom.
Myshakinghandst earthewr apandtakeoutt
he
r
[Link] i
ngshi mselfcloserandmyeyesgo
[Link]
th
wasnotthisthick.
HishandcoversminewhenIsl
ipitonandthenhe
l
ower shi
mselftomyli
pswhil
ehissett
lesback
betweenmylegs.
"
Areyouf
eel
ingokay?
"Hepausesatt
heent
rance.
"
I'
m..
..
..
"Hepushesi
nbef
oreIcoul
devenf
ini
sh.
"
Doesi
thur
t?"
Iopenmyeyest
ohi
seyesst
arr
ingatmecl
ose.
"Noi tdoesn'thurt
"hesmi l
esandki ssmyl [Link]
thrustsareslowatf irstbutt heyseem t obeon
[Link]
cet hathedoesn' tgoi nandouti nstead
heseemst [Link] sot herhandi son
myneckwhi l
etheot heri spushi ngmyl eftkneeup.
Whent hethrustspickupt hepaceIhol dhimt i
ght
myf i
ngerssqueezinghi sbut tcheekpul l
inghi m
[Link]'thelpbutgr indmyl owerashi shand
l
eavesmykneeandhol dsmywai stli
neast he
orgasm [Link] hem evenwi deras
her eacheshi sownor gasm.
"
I'
llgosl
owernextt
ime"hewhi
sper
sinmyearandI
r
eplywit
hakissonhisli
ps.
Chapt
er70

Phi
li
Iwakeupal [Link] iesoftheni ghtbef ore
comef l
oodingmymi [Link] sheatusast he
smi l
espr eadinmyf [Link] [Link] uleki
reall
yknowshowt odot hi
sandhemademedo
thingsIneverthoughtIwoul [Link] ookar ound
ther oom andspothi sshi rtont hechai r
.Igetup,
sliptheshirtonandqui cklymaket hebedbef or e
ri
nsingmymout hint hebat hr oom soIdon' tgreet
him wi t
hmymor ningbr eat [Link] hroom
andl ookmysel finthemi r
[Link] houghtI 'd
everf i
ndmysel fwear ingaman' sshir
tandwal ki
ng
aroundhi shousel i
keIam doi [Link] eIcome
from thisdoesn'[Link] eIcomef rom you
l
eaveaman' shomebef oredawnandyoudon' t
evengett owearhi scl othes.
"Youlooksexy"hi
svoicemakesmej
umpabi
t
becauseIwasn'texpect
ingi
t.
Iturntof
acehim andheisweari
ngpant
sandan
[Link]
ikei
t.
"
Youal
sol
[Link]
i
ket
heapr
on"It
ease
andwal
kcl
oserwher
ehei
sst
andi
ng.
"
Iwasmakingbreakf
astf
[Link]
dn'
twanttori
sk
i
t"hewr
apshisarmsaroundmeandl i
ftmeup.
"Takingadvantageofmywei
ght?"Ican'
teven
pretendtosulkbecauseI
'
mlaughing.
"Thatandmor e"hel
ower
sjustunt
ilmyhi
sli
pscan
kissmylips.
Hi
sli
pspartmylipsandst
artsmassagi
ngmy
t
[Link]
esli
kemintandsmoke.
Amoanescapesmylipsandheti
ghtenhi
sgri
pon
myassgi
vingmybuttcheekasqueezewhi
leIt
ry
nott
oscr
atchhi
sbackwithmynails.
"
Idon'
twantyoutothi
nki
'm usi
ngyouforsex"he
whi
sper
safterpul
li
ngawayandlooksatme.
"Iwon't
"Ireplywhil
elooki
ngever
ywher
ebutt
he
pairofeyeslooki
ngbackatme.
"
Thenbreakf
astcanwai
t"hecar
ri
esmet
obedand
l
owersmedown.
"Pr
otect
ion"Ir
emi
ndhi
m andhesmi
lesandbi
tehi
s
upperli
p.
"
Iremember
"hepul
lsi
toutonhi
spocket
.
"Youwal
kar
oundwithcondomsi
nyourpocket
?"I
pret
endt
obeshocked.
"BecauseIwantedt
ofuckyouint
heki
tchensoI
didn'
twanttocomerunni
ngheret
ogetone"he
repli
esandgobacktomylips.

*
****
***

Hungermademenapaf t
ersexandIwakeupto
f
indMlul
ekisi
tt
ingnextt
omewi t
halaptoponhi
s
l
ap.
"Yourstomachiswonder
ingwhyi si
tbei
ng
punished.I
t'
sbeencomplai
ning"hel
aughsbef
ore
l
ower i
nghisheadtoki
ssmyl ips.
"
Idi
dn'
tknowt
hatsexcanwor
ksuchanappet
it
e"I
r
epl
ywhenhepul
lsaway.
"Youareaddict
iveandIam notcomplai
ning"he
givesmet heki
ndoflookt
hatseem towaket hehai
r
onmyski n.
"Youwon'tbreakmyhear
t?"Thequest
ioncomes
outeventhoughitwasmeanttobeaninsi
de
thought
.
"
What
?"Hef
rownsandIr
eal
izehedi
dn'
thearme.
"Not
[Link]
ry"It
rytogetar
oundhi
m soIcanbe
offt
hebedbuthest opsme.
"
Tal
[Link]
dsomet
[Link]
sit
?"
Ithinkaboutl
[Link]
eveincl
ear
boundariesbutIknowthatnoonewantsanaggi
ng
gi
r l
fri
end.
"
Pleasedon'
tli
e"headdsbef
oreIevenopenmy
mouth.
"Isai
dpl
easedon'
tbr
eakmyhear
t"Icomecl
ean
andheexhal
esandnods.
"
Yourfoodi
sinthemicr
owave.I'
l
lbedowni
na
minut
e"her
epli
esinaquiett
one.
Idecidetowearhisshi
rtagai
nandleavethe
bedroom hopi
ngthisdoesn'
trui
neveryt
[Link]'
s
thehardpartaboutbei
[Link] i
ng
thetrut
handexpectati
onsbutnotwanti
ngt ooff
end
att
hesamet
ime.
Iquietl
ywalkdownt hest epsadmi ringthegl
[Link]'
s
fascinat
ingandIdidn'tgett oysgrowingupsoIam
all
[Link] eacht hef loorIdecidetogoback
upandt rytoseeiftheyst i
llglowifIweretositon
them.
"Theygloweveni fyoupr essafi
ngeronthem.I
ts
thesensors"saysMl ulekimaki
ngmej umpbecause
Ididn'
thearhim comi ng.
"Sor
ry"Imumbl
ewhi
lewal
[Link]
sis
humili
ati
ng.
"
It'
[Link]
ookl
iket
oysbutt
heyarenot
"he
f
[Link] hstopwal
kingwhena
l
ightfli
cker
sonthewal
l.
"Someoneiscomi ng"hesaysbef
orehegoestothe
[Link]
andthereandnotfoll
ow.I'
vel
ear
ntthati
n
thi
splacepeoplecanbedangerous.
Ihearacardr i
vingi
nandMl ul
ekicursesabit
[Link] cur i
oussoIgot ake
apeaki nthewindow.I
t'
saspor [Link]
ybright
[Link]
hatIseeblonder i
chwomen
dri
veinmovi esnoti
nreall
if
[Link]
expectablondewomanbutabeaut i
fulbl
ack
womanst epsoutandshesmi l
esathim.
Iwatchthem speakandwi shIcanhearmor ebutI
can't
.Mlulekipoi
ntst
hehouseandt hewoman
[Link]
shemovesf or
wardbutMlulekit
ri
edt obl
ockher.
Theyt al
ksomemor ewhil
esheistryi
ngtomove
awayf rom him buthekeepsblocki
[Link]
befrom theruralbutIam notstupi
[Link]
[Link]
eki'
sgir
lf
ri
endand
heistryingtostopherf r
om cominginthehouse.
Itakeadeepbreathandwalkout
[Link]
Idoshest opsf
ight
inghi
m andstaresatme.
Mlulekial
sotur
nsandlooksatme.
"Youaresuchabastard"sheyel
lsandt
rytohi
thi
m.
Heblockthehi
tsbutshedoesn'tst
op"Wit
hsome
stupi
dwhore"shescreams.
"Ihopeyouarenotcal
li
ngmeawhor e"Iwalkcl
oser
.
I'
veneverbeentheki
ndthatt
akesi
nsultsf
rom
stranger
s.
"Gobacki
nsi
dePhi
li
"hi
ssesMl
ulekiwavi
ngme
away.
"Iam cal
li
[Link]
ywhore.
Howmuchi shepayi
ngyou?"Sheconti
nuestoyel
l
andfinal
lymanagetogetoutofMl
uleki
'sgr
ip.
"Vee.I'
m war ni
ngyou"saysMl ulekibutshei gnor
es
him andr [Link] r eadforhertost ar
thitt
ing
[Link] st al
lbuttal
lnesshasneverst oppedme
from dealingwithpeopleevenatschoolt heyknew
thatIdidn'[Link] eacher ssaidit
wasadel ayedreacti
onbutIdidn'twaitforherto
explai
nwhatshemeant .
Shest andsri
ghtinfr
ontofmeandl ooksdown.
"Youthinkyouarespecialbecauseyoust aythe
nightandwearhi scl
othes?Youarenot .Youare..
..
"
Shedoesn' tf
ini
shbecauseMl ul
ekihasgr abbedher
bythewai standheishalfcarr
yingandhal f
draggingherbacktohercar.
"They'[Link] hem andthen
throwst henout
.Youwi l
lbegonetoo"she
continuestoscream asMlul
ekishovesherinside
t
hecar
.
Iexpecthert
ogetoutbutshest
artst
hecarand
showhi mthefi
ngerbef
oreshedri
vesof
[Link]
her
carmeetshersbefor
eshecandri
veout.
"Dammi t
"cursesMlul
eki"
Canyoupl
easegoback
i
nside"helooksatmebuti'
llbef
ool
ishi
fIdot
hat
soIdon'tmove.
Thesecondcarmovesbackandal lowt hefir
stcar
topassbeforethecardri
vesi
[Link] saBMW
andthewomant hatst
epsouti
snottallandsl i
m.
Sheisabitroundandherheighti
sjustabi thigher
thanmine.
"
Icamet
ogetmyt
hings"shedoesn'
tevengr
eet
.
"Youknowwher
etheyar
e"her
epl
iesandt
henl
ooks
atme.
Shegivesmeadisgustedlookbeforeshewalks
ri
[Link]
ngis,ifshedoesn'
tsay
anythi
ngtomeIcan'tj
ustgoof father
.Shewalks
aheadandwef ol
lowher.
*
****
***

Thehouseremai
nsqui
etasshegoesupstai
rsand
ret
urnsaf
terf
ewminut
esdraggi
ngasuit
casewith
her.
"Yourkey"shehandshimt hekeyandthent ur
nto
l
ookatme" Thelastonewaschargi
nghi m R5000
[Link]
awhileyouarestil
l
[Link]
able
whore"shesoundssocooll i
kesheisn'ti
nsult
ing
me.
"
I'
m notapr
ost
it
ute"Ir
epl
ywi
thoutl
ooki
ngat
Mlul
eki
.
"[Link]
ll
[Link]
hel
adyoft
heni
ght
"
shelaughsandwalksout
.
Webothstandst
il
last
hecarst
art
sout
sideand
dr
ivesof
f.
"
Ishoul
dgetmythingsaswell
"Iannounceand
t
henheadupst
air
[Link].
"
Soyouwon'
taskmequest
ions?
"Hef
oll
ows.
"Ther
[Link]
hinktheyexpl
ainedenoughfor
me"Irepl
yandconti
nueupstair
[Link]'tfol
l
ow
andthatgi
vesmeenought i
met ochangequickl
y
andthengobackdownstair
sreadytoleave.
If
indhi
m si
tt
ingont
hest
air
s.
"
Wehavet
otal
[Link]
easeseat
"hepoi
ntsnextt
ohi
m.
"Ther
eisnothi
[Link]
ea
womanizerandyousleepwithprost
it
utes"Idon'
t
needabigdict
ionar
yforthat.
"AndIusepr
otect
ional
lthet
[Link]
dn'
tcheaton
you"
"Andthati
ssupposedtomakemef eelbet
ter
?"I
star
eathim ashelooksuphi
sfacenotsmili
ngat
all
.
"NobutIdon' tseewhyitshoul
dbr eakyourheart
.
Besidethattheybothsaidsomethingmeanandf or
thatIapologi
zebuteverythi
ngelsejustfor
getabout
i
t"
"Soyoudon'tseeanyt
hingwrongwithal
lthi
s?"I
'
m
awarethatmyvoiceisabithi
ghernowbutIcan'
t
hel
pit
.
"
Ishoul
d?"
"
Youaresleepi
ngwithwomenwhosellsexf
ora
l
ivi
[Link] f
ori
[Link]
hem hascl
othes
i
nyourhouse!!
"
"HernameisCleoandshedoesn'tsellsexfora
l
ivi
[Link] eli
vingtoget
heratsomepoi nt.I
[Link] art
edsleeping
[Link]
aboutthepaymentthi
ng"
"
Soyoudon'
tseeanywr
ongwi
thal
lthi
s?"Hegi
ves
met
hisbl
anklook.
"Idon'
[Link]
zedforthel
anguagetheyused.I
knowit'snotidealf
orthem t
oarri
vehereli
kethi
s
butbeyondt hatIdon'
tseeanyt
hingwrong"
"[Link]
akemehome"Idemandf
eel
ingmy
nosest
artsweat
ing.
"Phi
lilet
'snotactli
keki
[Link] ebot
hadul
ts.
Surelyyoudon'tthi
nkIdidn'
thaveasexl
if
ebefor
e
you"
"
Ofcausenot
"
"Thenstopdon'tmakethismorethanwhati
tis.I
cancel
ledVeeandCl [Link]
ds
whichmeansyouknowwhati tmeanstohaveanex.
Nowqui tact
ingandhavebreakfast
"
Iopenmymout
htor
epl
ybutt
hewor
dsdon'
tcome
out.

*
****
***

Thembeka

Idropthekidsatschoolandthendri
vestr
aightto
Nqubeko'[Link] eal
ly
don'tknowwheretheyliveandIknowthatNqubeko
knowst hedir
ect
ions.
I
'm surpri
sedtofindthekidssti
llt
[Link] s
wearingpyjamasandeat i
ngacerealinthecouch
whil
eLi ndoisfr
yingsomet hi
[Link]
r
mother'scarisst
illout
sidewhichmeansshe
stayedover .IheadstraighttoNqubeko'sbedroom
andwal [Link] ski
ndof
expect ingtofi
ndthem i ntheactbutanotherpart
doesn' [Link] oblem i
sthatNqubekohas
cheat edonmebef oresoIam al l
owednott otr
ust
himj ustabi t
.
"Thembeka"saysNqubekoclearlysur
pri
sedtosee
[Link] hi
lei
ssit
ti
ngontheot tomanwhileshei
s
dri
nkingsomethi
[Link]
sti
lli
nbedwithcoff
eenexttohi m.
"
Mor
ning"saysNot
hil
esmi
li
ngatme.
"Morni
ng"Itur
nt oNqubekowhoi sstari
ngatme
l
iketherei
ssomet hi
ngleftunsai
d"wehavea
doctor
sappointmentlat
[Link]
toseeJabu"
"Jabu?Myloveit
's8o'cl
[Link]'
t
yout hi
nkJabumightsti
llbesl
eepi
ng"hesayswhile
eyeingmelikei
'
m unstableorsomethi
ng.
"Jabuist
hecancerladyyoumenti
onedlastni
ght
?"
AsksNothil
elooki
[Link]
conti
nues"Sheprobabl
yisst
il
lsl
eepi
ngandIdoubt
shewoul
dappr
eci
atebei
ngvi
sit
edt
hisear
ly"
"Andyouknowthisbecauseyouknoweveryt
hing
aboutever
yone?
"Ilookatherandsheact
sall
shocked.
"
Thembeka"saysNqubeko.
"Don'
tThembekame"IsnapatNqubekoandtur
nto
her"Whatt
hefuckar
eyoudoinginmybedroom
anyway?"
"
Yourbedroom?"Sheusesthis'
don'
tber
idi
cul
ous'
t
onewhilelooki
ngatNqubeko.
"[Link] [Link]
usingthekidsthatyouhidf
oryearstoworm your
wayi ntohi
sli
f eandheisdumbenought oletyou"I
yellather.
ShelooksatNqubekoasifsheisexpect
inghi
mto
saysomethingbuthedoesn'
tsayanythi
ng.
"Howdareyou?
"Sher
eal
izesbabydaddyi
snot
backi
ngherup.
"Howdar
eIwhat
?Questionyourint
ent
ions?How
comeyoudi
dn'
tbookyoursel
fint
otheguesthouse
orhot
elandst
opt
hrowi
ngyour
sel
finhi
sface"
"
Nqubeko"sheyel
lsathi
m.
"Don'tl
[Link]
ghti
ngforwhat'
shers"he
smilesanditmakesNothi
leevenmoreangry.
"YesandIwantwhat'sminet
ofocusonmenow.
PleaseleaveIwantt
otal
ktomymani npeace"I
pointt
hedoorandshelooksatNqubekoi
ndisbel
ief
.
"Youareunbel
ievabl
[Link]"sheget
supandl eave
whenNqubekodoesn' tt
akehersi
[Link]
yell
ingatt
heki
dsaf t
ersheslamsthedoorbehind
her.
"
Stupi
dbitch"Isaybef
oreget
ti
ngnexttoNqubeko.
Hesmilesandputhishandsaroundme.
"
SoIam your
s"hel
aughsandki
ssmynose.
"YesandIwanthert ostayawayf r
om youbutI
needyout otakemet [Link]
dri
venmysel fbutIdon'
tknowthedi r
ecti
[Link]
uplastnightandIhaveloadsofideaabouther
[Link]'
twaittoshar
e"Iwantt omakeher
happyandIcaneveni magi
nethesmi leonherface
asshehear
smyi
deas.
"
That'
sgreat
.Youaregl
owi
[Link]
oveit
"hegivesme
t
hisgoof
ysmi l
eandIcanf
eelmysel
fjustmel
ti
ng.
"Sodri
vemet hereal
ready.I
t'
sear
lybutIcan'
twai
t"
Ipokehischest.
"[Link]
owashmyfaceatl
east
"
hebandsdownandkissmyst
omachbefor
eget
ti
ng
offthebed.
"Ineedsomet
hingt
oeat
.I'
l
lgocheckt
heki
tchen"I
getofft
hebedtoo.
"
ThankyouMaKhumal
o"hesaysbef
oreIwal
kout
.
"
Forwhat?"Il
ookathi
m wonder
ingwhathei
s
t
alki
ngabout.
"
Fort
rust
[Link]
oveyou"
Ilookathim andnodbecauseIam f
eel
ingali
tt
le
guil
[Link]
dhavebadthoughtsbuthedoesn'
thave
toknow.
"
Hur
rypl
ease"Ismi
leandwal
kaway.
I
nthekit
chenIfi
ndAmandawashi
ngthedi
shes
whi
leherbrot
herwi
pest
hecount
er.
"CanImakeyousomecoffee?
"Sheaskswhi
le
l
ookingatmehernosest
il
ltur
nedup.I
tmustbeher
permanentf
ace.
"Nocof
[Link]
ea.I'
l
lmakeacheese
sandwi
ch"[Link]
astt
imei
t
wasn'
tsogood.
"[Link]
oldyout
ogetdr
essed"
yell
sthei
rmotherwal
kingi
n.
"
Butwear
est
ayi
ngmum"saysLi
ndo.
"Don'
[Link] el
eaving"shescr
eamsandI
rol
lmyeyesabouti t
.Shesaidtheyneededafat
her
suddenlysheistaki
ngthem becauseNqubekoi
s
notavail
[Link]
tch.
"
It
'sFr
[Link]
estayi
ngaweekend"says
Amandalooki
ngathermot
her
.
"
Lett
heki
dsst
ay"Iadd.
"Stayoutofi
[Link]
ldi
sther
e"shepoi
ntsmy
stomach.
"
Youar ebei
ngdr
amati
cfornor
[Link]
Nqubekospendt
imewit
hhiski
ds"Icont
inue.
"[Link]'tgett
otel
lmewhatI
shouldandshouldn'
tdo"shelooksatmel
ikeshe
mightslapme.
"Nothil
e"saysNqubekobehindher"Theyare
stayi
ngt [Link]
ght"he
soundssocal m abouti
tandIexpectNothi
leto
objectorsomethingbutshedoesn'
t.
"Ar
ewegoingnow?"Icanevenski
ptheteaandi
'l
l
eatmysandwi
chinthecar
.Nqubekotur
nsandlook
atmebefor
ehetakesmyhandstohis.
"[Link] t
tedl
astni
[Link]
nICU.I
call
edherhusbandandhet ol
[Link] o
waitabitbefor
etheycanall
owustoseehersince
wear enotfamil
y"Ist
areathi
m wonderi
ngifheis
l
[Link]'tl
ookli
kei
t.
"
Whichhospi
tal
?Maybewecansendhersome
f
lower
s"j
usttoshowthatwear
ether
eforher
.
"Goodi
[Link]
l"Het
akeshisphoneandit
star
tsr
ingi
nginhi
[Link]
ehe
answer
s.
"
Yes"
Ican'
thearwhatthepersoni
ssayi
ngbutNqubeko
l
ooksuphi seyescl
osed.
"Thanksforl
ett
ingmeknow"headdsaftera
momenthi svoi
cesoundi
ngweir
dlikehemight
star
tcryi
ng.
"Whati
sit
?"Iaskfeeli
ngmyhear
tsl
am pai
nful
ly
agai
nstmyribcage.
Hestaresatmeandsmi
leabi
tbef
oreki
ssi
ngmy
f
orehead.
"I
t'
snothi
ngbaby"heclearshi
sthroat"
Havethat
rooi
bostea.I
'
llsendthefl
owersandwishherwell"
[Link]
lhei
slyi
ngbutIdon'tget
why.
Chapt
er71

Nqubeko
Iwantt owr i
ngPr ett
y'[Link] ine
anddoi ngsowel lbeforesher ui
[Link]
Jabui sgoneandi twil
ldestr
oyherwhenshef i
nds
[Link] dn'
t
l
eaveanaddr essbutt hatmightbreakherheart
worset hanthetruthbutIcan'ttel
lherthetr
uth.
What everJabudidi tgaveherabouncei nhersteps
andIl i
[Link] dIpossiblyrui
nitnow?
"
Nqubeko"Not
hil
e'
svoi
cesnapsmeoutofi
t.
"What
?"Isnapbackf
eel
ingannoyedt
hatshei
sst
il
l
her
e.
"Sot
hisiswhatthi
smeans?Uspar ent
ingmeans
shegetstowalkallovermewhi
leyoujustst
areat
herl
ikealunat
ic?"
Ishr
ugdr
amat
ical
lybef
orel
ooki
ngather
.
"
Whatdoyouwantmet
odo?
"
"
Tel
lhert
oshowmesomer espect
"sheshr
iekand
i
tpi
ssesmeoffevenmor
e.
"
Respecti
sear
nedNot
hil
[Link]
hat
"
Shehuf
fsandIbr
acemysel
fforsomer
ealbi
tchi
ng.
"Youareunbeli
[Link]
ngyour
golddiggi
nggirl
fr
iendtowalkallovermebecause
respecti
searned?Whati st
heretorespect
?"
"That'
sexactl
ymypoint
.Youseeherasagol d
diggerbutyouwanttot
hrowaf i
twhenshe
addressesyouthewaysheseesf i
[Link]
e.
Youar eoldenought
oknowt hebasicrul
eofli
fe.
Respectherandshewil
lrespectyouri
ghtback.I
t'
s
reall
ythatsi
mple"
"
Whathappenedt oyouNqubeko?Whathappened
t
othemant hatIusedtoknow?"shegi
vesmet hi
s
l
ook,l
ikeI
'vegrownhornsorathi
rdeyeint
he
f
orehead.
"
Youdumpedhi
m andhi
dtheki
dsf
rom hi
m"
ShelooksawayonthatandIuset
hischancet
oend
theconver
sat
ion.
"Stopdisr
especti
ngThembekaandshewi l
lrespect
your i
[Link] net
oosoletthem
stayandI'l
lmakesur etheyarehomeonSunday
[Link]'
si fwe
wantt oco-par
entpeaceful
[Link]
etri
pgoi ng
back"i
fshedoesn'ttakeahi
ntIwil
lbef
orcedt
o
saythi
ngsIwil
lregretaft
ert
his.
Shestaresatmeandt
hennodbef
oreshel
eaves
thehousedini
ngr
oom.
Iwaitunti
lthedoori
sclosedbeforegoi
ngbackto
sendingfl
owerstoClementeventhoughIknow
verywellt
hathedoesn'tcar
[Link]
ose
ThembekaIwoul dn'
tcareaboutfl
owers.
Isendatextt
oMlul
ekilet
ti
nghi
m knowthatJabu
[Link]
lsbacki
mmediatel
y.
"That
'
shect i
[Link]
sThembeka?
"Heaskswi
thout
evengreet
ing.
"Morni
[Link]'
ttol
dher
"Ilowermy
voi
cechecki
ngtoseet her
eisnooneli
steni
ngin.
"
Youhavet
otel
lherNqubeko"
"IknowandIwi ll
.Ihat
ethatbi
tch"Icl
ickmytongue
"Ifshedidn'
texposeThembekatoClement'
s
situat
ionIwouldn'
tbehereri
ghtnow"
"
Butyouar
eandnowdot
her
ightt
hing.I
sPhi
li
t
her
e?"
"
[Link] swi
[Link]
ly
wanti
ngtovi
sitJabubutImanagedt odel
ayherfor
abit
.SoyouandPhi l
ihadafi
ght?"that
'st
heonly
r
easonwhyhewoul daskme.
"It
[Link]
edanuberwhenshel
eft
.
Saidshedidn'
twanttobedramat
icaboutme
dri
vingherback"
"[Link] i
keaseriousfi
[Link]?
"
Mlulekiisnotexact
lytheworldsbestl
overbutI
thoughthim andPhiliwouldbewaybettert
hanhis
pastrelati
onshi
ps.
"Cl
[Link],
not
[Link]
artedact
ingupaswell
.Iki
nd
ofsnappedandtoldhertoquitt
hedramasi
nceshe
haskidssoobvi
ouslyshehasex'stoo"
"
[Link]
ledanuberandl
eft
?"
"It
oldhertoeatfi
rstbecauseshewasyettohave
breakfast
.Sheateandt henl
eft
"Icanhearhim
i
[Link]
syettobeint
roducedi
n
theartofdati
ngsomeonewhodoesn' tmindlosi
ng
you.
"Goaf
terherandapol
ogi
ze"Iadvi
[Link]
doesi
tthebett
er.
"Iwi
llbutthat
'
snotj
usti
[Link]
ngmor e.
Moreyelli
ngandmorear
[Link]
hing
youknow"
"
Iknowbutyouknowwhatt
[Link]
d
f
earthequi
etness"
Ihearadooropenandcl
ose.
"That'
sexactl
ywhati'
mf ear
ing.I
'
llcal
lyouback.
TellThembekathetr
uthaboutJabu"theli
neisdead
after
.Itakeadeepbreat
handgobackt ot
hem.
I
'm abi tsur pri
sedt ofindt
hem tal
kingandlaughing.
Thembekai steachingAmandasomet hi
ngthat
i
nvolvesgr atedcar r
otsandgratedpotat
[Link]
i
st heret akingavi [Link]
andthereandwat ch.
Maybet heywi llgetalongwel
lifsheNothil
ei sn'
tin
thepictur e.

*
***
***
***
**
Phi
li
.

Ithankt hedr iverandhandhi m cashwhenhedr ops

meatt hegat e.I'mthankinghimf ornotdoi ng
anythi
ngbadt [Link] il
lrequest
theseridesbutyoupr aywheneveryouar rivein
yourdest [Link]
verwaski ndandhekept
tel
li
ngmej okessayi nghei sapologi singf ornot
havingar [Link] hem f eelingevenmor e
gratef
ult hathewasn' tt
elli
ngmedi stastefuljokesin
thenameoft ryingtomakemel augh.
Dabul
aist
heonewhoopenst hegateandhewait
s
unt
ili
'
minfroniofthedoorbef
oregoingbacki
nsi
de.
Wearebot
hst i
llshakenbywhathappened.
"Ar
eyoualone?"Henodsandgoesbacktosit
ti
ng
[Link]
ellhei
sst
ressedabout
somethi
ng.
"Whathappened?
"Isi
tdownopposi
tehi
m and
swit
chmyphoneof f
.
"Igotacal
lfr
om Xoli
.Sheist
hreat
eni
ngtakemet o
courtf
orBobo'scust
ody"Ist
areathi
mindisbel
ief
.
Bobocamet oli
vewit
huswhenhewasanewbor n
[Link]
ysai
dDabulaneededtotake
responsi
bil
it
yandIbecamehi
smot herbecause
Dabulahadnoideahowtomotheranewbor nbaby.
"Lether
"Ir
epl
yfeel
ingmyangerappr
oachanew
high.
"Phil
[Link] hatt
hecourtwi
llagr
eewit
h
[Link]
rsi
de"hesoundsli
kehe
i
sgoi ngtostar
tcryi
ng.
"Nott
[Link]
[Link] [Link]'ve
beenhereformonthsal
[Link]
shedoesn'tcar
eabouthi
[Link] ocourtand
wewillexposeher"
"Howcouldshedothi
stome?"Hel
ooksatmeasi
f
heexpectmetohaveananswer
.
"Becausesheissel
fi
[Link]
ishpeopledot hi
ngs
l
ikethisDabul
[Link] ostopbeingkindand
fi
[Link]
hatbit
chgoahead"If eell
ike
bangingsomethi
ngbutIcan'[Link]'
twantt ori
sk
breaki
ngThembeka'sthi
ngs.
"
Areyouokay?
"Hegi
vesmet
hewei
rdl
ook.
"I'
mjustannoyedthatshenowsuddenlywant
s
[Link] eshe!!
"Igetupandheadtothe
[Link] t
hedoorandthrowthephoneon
thebed.
Isi
tdownonthebedandt r
ynottobit
emynail
s.I
dothatwheni'
m angr
yandattimei
tleavesmy
nai
lsrui
nedandneedingweekstor
ecover.
"
Phi
li
"Dabul
aknocks.
Igetupandopent
hedoor
.
"Ml
ulekiishereandhewant stotal
ktoyou"Ithi
nk
hecant el
lthatIam notokaybecausehekeeps
l
ooki
ngi nthepassage.
"Tel
lhi
m Idon'twantto"Ist
epbackandcloset
he
doorbefor
elockingi
[Link]
m walkawayasI
walkbacktobedandl [Link]
cksbyand
ther
[Link]
lyhegott
hemessage
andlef
t.

*
***
***
***
**
Aknockwakemef r
om [Link]
akesmea
momenttorememberthatIl
ockedthedoorandI
canhearvoi
cesi
ntheloungewhichmeans
NqubekoandThembekaarehere.
Idragmysel
ftot
hedoorandunl
ockit
.It
's
Thembekaandshei
sgivesmethequesti
oni
ngl
ook.
"IwasavoidingMlul
[Link]
imeisi
t?"Igoback
[Link]'
vegott
enusedto
sleepi
[Link]'
tsl
eep
duringtheday.
"I
t'
[Link] ogettheki
dsfrom
school"shegoest othebathroom andcomeback
aft
erfewmi nutes."What'
swr ongwithDabula?
"
"
HisbabymamawantsBoboandsheisthr
eateni
ng
t
otakehi
mtocourt
.Youknowthatcour
tsal
ways
t
akethemot
her
'ssi
desoheisworri
ed"
"Bobohasamot her?
"Ican'
ttel
lifshei
sbei
ng
sarcast
icorser
ious.
"
Yes"
"
Butwe'
venevermether
.Doesheevenknowher
?
Aybo"
"Dabul
aisworri
[Link]
dhi
mt ot
ellhert
ogoahead
andwewi l
lseeherincour
t"
"Yeahwewi l
[Link] ydemandst he
[Link] anicelyandget
visit
snotwhatshei sthi
[Link]'
swhyhel ooks
sodepr [Link] heman
thing"shegoesbackt ot
hebat hroom andIheart he
tapr unni
ng.
"HaveyouseenMlul
eki
?"Ihat
emysel
fforaski
ng
butIcan'
thel
pit
.
"
Hewasher ewhenwearr
ivedbuthel
eftsoonaft
er.
Areyouguyshavi
ngaf
ight?"Shewal
ksbackint
o
t
heroom.
Itel
lhereveryt
hingthathappenedandIam happy
sheisannoyedj ustl
ikeiam becausei
tmeansi'
m
notbeingdramat i
c.
"
Ihopeyouyel
ledathi
m orsomet
hing"
"
Idi
dn'
[Link]
eandl
eft
"
"
Why?Youshoul
dhaveyel
ledathi
m orsomet
hing.
Youarenotpuni
shi
ngforhispastbutfort
alki
ngt
o
youl
ikethat
.Howdarehe?"sheisloud.
"Li
keiwassupposedtobecalm aboutal
lthat"
whereicomefrom buyi
ngsexisn'
tsomethingmen
pri
dethemsel
vefor.
"
Mlul
ekii
stur
ningint
oadi
sappoi
ntment
"she
l
ower
shervoice"Tel
lmet
hesexwasgoodthough"
Ican'
thel
pbutgi
ggl
e.
"I
[Link]
dn'
tevenknowt
hatyoucan
havedi
ff
erentor
gasmsatonce"
"
How?
"Sbecomesbackt
osi
t.
"
[Link]
tandanot
herdeep
i
nsidether
[Link]
li'
mtell
ingyoui
twasthatgood"
Webothlookateachotherandbur
sti
ntogi
ggl
es.
Herl
aughisshortl
ivedthough.
"
What
?"iaskl
ooki
ngather
.
"Jabugotevenworsel
astnight
.Sheisint
heI
CU"
shelookssohear
[Link]
ngj
ust
twosecondsago.
"
Whoi
sJabu?
"
"
Clement
'swi
fe"
"Theladywi
thcancer ?Butithoughtshepassed
[Link]
dMl ulekionthephonewi thsomeone
namedThuba"Itryt orecallt
heconversat
ionthe
bestIcanandMl ulekidi
dsayshepassedawayi n
theearl
yhoursorsomet hing.
"[Link]
nt heI
[Link]
edsome
fl
owersforherandhecal
ledherhusbandaboutan
hourago"
"[Link]
ywell
.HernameisJabu
[Link]
edintheear
lyhour
s"Shemustbe
confusedabi
t.
"ButNqubeko.
..
..
"Shel
ooksatmeast
ear
sfi
llher
eyes.
Onlyt
henIreal
izewhatNqubekodi
[Link]
dand
l
iedsayi
ngsheisintheI
CU.
"Nqubekol
iedaboutt
heICU"Iconf
ir
mi tf
orher
.As
muchasIgetwhyNqubekowoul dli
ebut
Thembekaisnotachil
dandhecan'tkeeptr
eat
ing
herl
ikeone.
Chapt
er72

Thembeka.

St
rongl
anguage

I'
m angrybutmostl
yi'
mj usthear
tbr
[Link]
[Link]
stli
kethat
.Ineverevengotachancet osay
[Link]
tbuthowcoul d
l
[Link]
bri
efint
roduct
ion.
"Thembeka"Phi
li
'
svoi
cesnapmebackt
othe
present
.
"
Shedi
dn'
tevensaygoodbye"Il
ookather
"I
'
m sor
[Link]
ysi
[Link]
'st
hinkofher
asinnolongeri
npai
n"
Shei
sri
ghtbutIcan'
thel
[Link]
sstar
tstr
eami
ng
downmycheeksandIdon'tstopt
hem.I'
m
hear
tbr
okensoIshoul
dbeal
lowedt
ocr
y.
"
Thembeka"
I
t'
[Link]
ooksal
armed.
"What'
swrong?"Heaskswhi
lel
ooki
ngatmeasi f
heisexpect
ingtoseebl
oodoranopenwound.
"
Itol
dheraboutJabu"saysPhi
li
.
Helet'
sgoofmyhandandl
ooksatPhi
liasi
fhe
wantstosmackher
.
"Phil
iknowsyoushoul
dn'
tli
etoaper
son"Ii
nject
beforehegoesof
father.
"
Iwasgoi
ngt
otel
[Link]
ust
..
..
."
"
Justtakemet her
e"Icuthi
m of
fbef
orehet
ri
est
o
j
ust
ifyhisact
ions.
"Okayfi
[Link]
hingwarm"Icantransl
ate
forhi
[Link]
nglongerandnot
showcleavage.
Idon'tpr
otest
.Icheckwar
drobef
orapr
esent
abl
e
dressandtieadoekonmyhead.
"
Let
'sgo"Igr
ababagandchecki
fIhavet
issues
i
nsi
debecauseIknowIam goi
ngt
obeacr
ying
mess.

*
*

"Soyouaregoingt
ogivemesilencet
reat
ment
?"He
asksaft
erdri
vingashor
tdi
stance.
Igi
vehim a"
Youthi
nk"l
ookandgobackt
olooki
ng
out
sidet
hewindow.
"ButIdi
ditt
[Link]'
tli
keseei
ngt
his
[Link]
eitwhenyoucr y"
"
Soyourathert
reatmel
ikeachi
ldandhi
det
hings
f
rom me?"Iyel
lathi
m.
"
Itseemedl
ikeagoodi
deaatt
het
ime"heshr
ugs.
"Don'
ttal
ktomeNqubeko"Il
ookawayagai
nand
bli
nkthetear
saway.
Weconti
nuesil
entl
yunti
lIstartr
ecogni
singthe
nei
ghbour
[Link]
'swher
erichpeopleli
[Link]
wal
lsandtal
ltr
eesandthestreeti
[Link]
turnlef
tandspotahugemovi [Link]
Clement'snei
ghbour saremovingornew
neighboursar
[Link]
NqubekoandIseet hesamet hi
[Link] r
uckisin
Clement'[Link] ng?
Thecarst opsbehi
ndt hetruckandIgetoutfir
st.
[Link] ingunif
orm ar
e
carr
[Link]
behi
ndt [Link] sshoutinginst
ructi
ons.
Iwal
kcl
oseri
gnori
ngNqubeko'
spr
otestbehi
ndme.
Thewomanstopsandl
ooksatmeupanddown.
"Whoareyou?
"Sheaskhervoicei
[Link]
shehasoneofthosevoi
ces.
"Jabu'
sfri
end"Irepl
[Link]
adywalksout
carryi
nganunzippedsuit
casewithcl
othesspi
ll
ing
out.
Shedoesn'
tsayanyt
hingbutgi
vemeast ar
efora
bi
tandthenNqubekocomestostandnearme.
IspotCl
ementi
ntheot
hersi
deoft
[Link]
s
weari
ngshot
sandavest.
"
Areyoualsoaf
ri
end?
"Askst
hewomanl
ooki
ngat
Nqubeko.
"Yesma'am"her epli
esbutI'm nolongerf
ocusi
ng
[Link] ementisont hephoneandhei s
barefoot
[Link] eaksmaki ngmejumpandhe
removethephoneonhi searforamomentbef or
e
putti
[Link] ongsoIgotohim.
"
Clement
"
Hel
ooksatmeandt
ear
sst
artf
all
ingf
rom hi
seyes.
Heendst
hecal
l.
"What
'sgoi
ngon?Areyoumovi
ng?
"Ist
epcl
oser
andfi
ghtbackmyowntear
s.
"
Theyarri
vedwi
that
[Link]
akehert
[Link]
t
hings"
"
Who?Whoar
ethosepeopl
e?"
"Herf
ami
[Link]
eJabu'
sfamil
y"hecr
ouches
downandburyhisf
aceonhishands.
Nqubekoj
[Link]
ookonhi
sfacet
ell
smehe
knows.
"
IthoughtJabudoesn'
thavepar
ent
[Link]
ed
whenshewasstil
lat
eenager
"saysNqubeko
put
ti
nghishandsonClement
.
Hecan'
[Link]
inuest
osob.

*
*

IleaveNqubekoandCl emental
oneandgeti
nsi
de
[Link]
eisaman
raidi
ngthefr
[Link]
tl
edwhenhenot
ices
mel ooki
ngathim.
"
Hi"Igr
eetandst
epovert
hebr
okenpl
ate.
"Ar
eyouaf orei
gnt
oo?Someofyoudon'
tevenl
ook
l
ikefor
eigner
sanymore"hel
ooksatmeupand
down.
"What?
"Somet hi
ngsnapsomewher einthehouse
andawomanst art
syelli
[Link] hatIam
i
nsideIcantellt
hatthereareoverfivewomeni n
thi
[Link] areshouti
ngor dersatt
he
movingmen.
"
[Link]
houghtyouar
ehi
ssi
ster
.Youmustbe
Jabu'
sfr
iendt
hen"hegoesbackt
othef
ri
dge.
"
Whyar
eyouguysdest
royi
ngt
hehouse?
"
"
Youmeanmysi ster
'shouse?Shedi
edthis
[Link]'tl
etthi
skwerekwer
etakeher
t
hings"helookssodisgust
ed.
"
What
?"
"Clementisakwerekwer [Link] etotakeher
thingsbeforehebri
ngshi sst
arvingf amilytoli
vein
herhouseandeatherf ood"het akesanot herpiece
oft hechi
ckenandst uf
fhismout hwhi l
ethegravy
stainshisshir
tandleakinthecor nerofhismout h.
"Thisi
[Link] yt
hingi
nher eIboughwi t
h
[Link]' tworkedinyears
becauseofthecancerandyourfami l
ydumpedher
i
nt hathospi
talwhenshewast oosick"says
[Link] oken.
"What
everkwerekwer
[Link]
backhome"saystheman
"
Haveyoucalledt
hepol
ice?Theycannott
akeyour
t
hings"Il
ookatCl
ement
.
"Cal
lthem andseei
ftheywil
lgi
[Link]
evenhavepaperstobeherei
nthiscount
ry?Go
backtoNigeri
awhereyoucamef r
om"
"
Zimbabwe.I'
mf r
om ZimbabweandIgr
ewupin
t
hiscountr
y"saysClementasi
fhei
shopingt
his
manwillst
artr
easoningwit
hhi
m.
"Nqubekogivemethephone.I
'
m call
ingt
hepol
i
ce"
Iholdoutmyhandandhehandst hephonet
ome
withoutanyhesi
tat
ion.
Imaket hecal
lquickl
yandarguewi t
ht hepol
iceto
[Link]'
tsoundinter
estedunti
lItel
lhim
wher [Link]
vinginthegrandsuburb
[Link]
thecall.
"
Thepol
icearecoming"Isayl
oudenoughf
ormor
e
t
hanonepersontohear.
"
What
?"Saysawomanappear
ingi
nthepassage.
"[Link] okeint
ohishouseandyouaresteal
ing
[Link]
ledthepol
ice"Igi
vehert
hecheeky
att
itude.
"Theyaremysist
ersthi
[Link] ger
iandi
dn'
t
crosstheboar
derwit
hfurni
ture"sheyell
s.
"Thesi
steryoudumpedatt hehospi
talandforgot
aboutwhenshebecamet oosick?Thesistert
hat
hasn'
twor kedi
nyearsbecauseshewasbat tl
ing
cancer
?,thatsi
ster
?"
Shestepscl
oserandNqubekost
epsinfr
ontofme.
Ipokemyheadaroundhim andl
ookather.
"Youareopport
[Link]
ejustwait
ingf
orher
todieandclai
mt hi
ngsyouknownot hi
ngabout"I
canspeakfreel
ywi t
hahumanshi el
d.
"
Howdar
eyousi
dewi
thakwer
ekwer
e?"Sheshr
iek.
"Atl
eastheisahardworki
ngkwerekwer
eandyou
aresteal
ingf
rom hi
[Link]
dbeashamedof
yoursel
ffort
ryi
ngtorobagri
evi
ngman"Iam j
ust
asloud.
Therestofherfamil
yjoi
nsinandt heyal
lstart
yel
li
nginsul
tsdirect
[Link]
heisadrugdealerandcorrupt
[Link]
saysifi
twasn'tfort
hem i
nt hi
scountrywewoul dn'
t
[Link]
hem conti
nuet o
scream andholdCl ementshandwhil
eNqubeko
continuestobemyshi el
[Link]
etheyyel
l
i
nsultsnothingelsebreaksandthemovingmenare
standingtherewatchingsoitsaper
fectpl
anaswe
waitforthepoli
cetoar ri
ve.

*
*

Thearri
veafterawhileandf
indusengagei
n
i
nsult
[Link]
'sfourpol
icemenandoneofthem doesn'
t
evenfakeint
erest
.
Thenoi
sedi
esdowni
mmedi
atel
yast
hepol
icewal
k
i
n.
"Theybr okei
ntohishouseandt heyar
etakinghi
s
thingssayingtheybel
ongtotheirdeadsist
erwho
happenst obehi swi
fe"Igof
irstbefor
ethenoise
startsagain.
"
Mr.
..
."Thepol
icel
ooksatCl
ement
.
"
Mabal
a.I
'
m Cl
ementMabal
a"r
epl
iesCl
ement
.
"
Hei
saf
orei
gner
"onel
adychi
psi
n.
"I
'vebeeni
nthiscountr
ysinceIwas10year sold.
I'
m herel
egall
[Link] ri
[Link]
cancerandi'
vebeentaki
ngcareofherf oryear
s
[Link] hi
smorning"expl
ainsClement.
"
Andyouguysar
e?"onepol
icemanl
ooksatt
he
l
adi
es.
"
Wear
eherf
ami
ly"t
hel
adyr
epl
ies.
"Doyouhaveanypapersal
lowi
ngyout
obeher
e?
Paperssayi
ngthesear
eherthi
ngs?
"
Nooneanswer
sbutt
heymumbl
eabi
t.
"
Anypapersatal
l?
"Heasksagai
nhi
svoi
ceabi
t
l
oudert
histi
me.
"Wedon'
tneedpaperstot
akeherthi
[Link]
deadal
[Link]
amil
y"themanr epl
ies.
"Thesearemyt hi
[Link]
si [Link]
doesn'[Link] ami l
yleftheri
nthat
hospit
[Link] dfortr
eatment.
Shehasn' [Link]'
twor k
becausesheneverf ull
[Link]
hingin
thi
shousei smi ne"saysClementhisvoiceshaking.
Thenoisest
art
sagai
[Link]
icemanr
aisebot
h
hands.
"Ladiesyouhavenor ighttot akeanyt hi
ngint hi
s
housewi thoutanylegalpaper s.I'
m afrai
dyouhave
[Link] [Link]
havesomepr ooforsomet [Link] l
lpersonally
comewi t
hyout otakewhatbel ongst [Link]
pleasetakeyourt r
uckandl eave"het urnstomen
"Pleaseoffloadthetruckandl [Link] ake
anythingwi t
houthisper missioni tmeansyouar e
steali
ngandwewi llbef or
cedt oarrestyou"he
toucheshi scuff
s.
"Unbel
ievebl
[Link]
epr
otect
ingakwer
ekwer
e"one
saysquietl
y.
Thepol i
cemanr etur
nsahar dlookandtheyallst
art
[Link] sgobackt ogetthet
hingswhile
thepoli
cemenst artengaginginthei
rown
conversati
[Link],NqubekoandIstand
aroundtowat chast heybri
ngthingsback.

*
**
Atl
astt
hehouseisamessbutt hefami
lyi
sgone
l
eavi
[Link]
hankthepol
iceand
wal
kthem outwhi
leil
ookaroundthemess.
"
ThankyouThembeka"saysCl
ementqui
etl
y.
"I
t'
sfi
[Link]
et [Link] ejustmadthatthey
can'
[Link]
rinsult
sdon'
tmat t
er"
Hesmilesabi
tbefor
[Link]
ght
ashestart
scr
yingonmyshoul
[Link]'
tpul
laway
unt
ilhecal
msdownandwipehiseyes.
"
Sor
ry"hel
ooksembar
rased.
"Youl
ostawi
[Link]
yal
lyouwant
.It
'sokayt
obe
sad"
"Ij
ustcan'
taccepti
tyet
.It
'sl
ikesomeonewi
llcome
andsayit'
sajoke"
"Icanimagi
ne"It
akeadeepbr
eat
handhughi
m
again.
Webot
hpul
lawaywhenwehearNqubekowal
ksi
n.
"
Ithi
nkweshouldt
ryt
ocl
eanupabi
t"Ist
artt
aki
ng
myjacketof
f.
"
Orcal
lthecl
eaner
s.I
'
llpay"heof
fer
s.
"Okay.I'
l
lcookt [Link] ood"Il
ookat
Clementandhedoesn' tar
[Link]
[Link]'thir
ea
cheftoooror dertakeawaysfortheguy.
"Letmemakethecall
"hesaysandClementwal
ks
aroundt
hecounterandopenst
hefr
idge.
"I
'
llhel
pyouwitht
hechoppi
ng"hesmil
esandInod
andnodtoNqubekowhoislooki
ngatmeli
kehe
wantstosaysomethi
ng.
Chapt
er73

St
rongLanguage

Nqubeko.

Shet rembl
esinmyar msandIqui ckl
ycoverher
l
ipst [Link] e
sti
llhereandIdon'twanttobethatparentbutI
couldn'
tletThembekasleepwithoutremindingher
howt hisfeel
sli
[Link]
nuest ot
r embl
eand
occasionall
yshudderi
ngashermoanst urninto
[Link]'tl
ethergojustyet
.Notwheni 'm stil
l
feel
ingthishardandburi
eddeepi nsi
deher .Ifshe
wasn'tpregnantal
readythi
swoul dhavebeeni t.
WeareseparatedwhenIgetsoftandshedoesn't
pr
otestthel
ostofcontact
.Shesimplejustputher
ar
msar oundmeandhol dtight
.Mygripalsoremain
onherhipandmyot herhandaroundherneck.
Thesi
lencelastf
orawhil
ebefor
eshet
urnsher
headt
oki ssmycheekandthenmovet
omyl i
ps.
"
Areyougood?
"Iwhi
sper
.
"I
'
mf i
ne"shel aughsabitandgobackt oputt
ingher
headonmyshoul der
.Ireachbetweenusandt ouch
herst
omach.I t'
sgrowingslowl
ybutthedoctortold
useveryt
hingisf i
neandweshoul dn'
tbesurpri
sed
i
fshegetsr eall
[Link]
nowit'
sjustasexybumpt hatf
it
sherpetit
ebody.
"Let
'sgetyoubacktobed"Il
owermyarmfrom her
neckandgr abherassbef
orepul
li
ngusbot
hupasI
car
ryhert
[Link]
ggl
eswhenIl
owerherdown.
"
ThanksMbonambi
"
Ist
opandstareatherbefor
eloweri
ngmyselft
oher
l
ips"Il
oveyou"Iaddaft
ertheki
[Link]
esand
yawn.
"
Iloveyout
oo"
"
Getsomesl
eep"Ipul
lthecoveroverher
.
"Pl
easebri
ngmesomeorangeswhenyoucomet
o
bed"anot
heryawnf
oll
ows.
"
Andpeanutbut
tersandwi
[Link]'
tfor
get
"
"
Andanegg"shewhi
sper
s.
"Okay.I'
l
lbri
ngit"Il
aughandpi ckupourclot
heson
thefloor
.Igr
abmyshor tsandsli
pthem onandtur
n
[Link]
mesIdowi shI
couldfal
lasl
eepsoeasi lyaswellbuti
tdoesn'
t
[Link]'
l
lbeluckyifIevengetsomeatal
l.
Icl
osethedoorgentl
ebehindandgototheki
tchen.
Iwashmyhandsf i
rstbef
oremakingasandwichfor
Thembeka.
"
Pleasest
opcr
ying"
Ist
opmovi
ngar
oundandl
ist
encar
eful
ly.
"
Isai
di'
l
ldoi
tandIwi
ll
"It
'sLi
ndo'
svoi
ce.
It
ipt
oet
ohi
sdoorandpr
essmyear
.
"[Link] tPi
[Link]
dyou"he
hissesandIhearfootst
epsmovi [Link]
ipt
oe
backt ot
hepassagebefor et
hedooropens.I
pretendt
obesur pr
isedtoseehim upandhel ooks
reall
ysurpr
iset
oseeme.
"
Dad"
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngup?
"Heendst
hecal
l.
"
Ijustneededsomewat
er"It
hinkhei
slyi
ng.
"Okay"It
urnbacktothekitchenexpecti
nghimt o
fol
lowbuthedoesn't
.Somet hingi
sgoingonand
i
'm notsurei
fIshoulddemandt hetrut
horwai tf
or
himtotellmeaboutit
.Ifocusont hesandwichfora
bit
.Myphonepi ngsanditcouldonlybeTikotexti
ng
thi
stime.
"
Pret
tyr
an"r
eadst
hemessage.
Ical
lhi
m back.
"
Towher
e?"Iaskt
hemomentheanswer
s.
"
ToEast
ernCape"her
epl
ies
"Fi
[Link]
eisnowayi'
mfundingPret
ty'
scoke
habit
.Fi
ndherandbri
ngherback"sheowesmebig.
"
Sur
ethi
ng"
"
ThanksTi
[Link]
ed"
WeendthecallandIdeci
det
ocal
lSandi
lewhi
leat
i
[Link]
squi ckl
y.
"
It
'sl
ateNqubeko"hecompl
ains.
"Whatever
.Anythi
ngaboutSnqobi
le?
"Ii
gnor
ethe
prot
estonhistone.
"[Link]
ne.I'
m goi
ngtoVr
yhi
edt
omor
row
andi'
llprobabl
ycallyoulat
e"
"Good.I
'
llwai
tforyourcal
l"Idon'
tevensay
goodbyeasIhangup.

*
****
*
Iplacet
hesandwi
chnexttoThembeka'ssi
deoft
he
bedandwalkoutagai
[Link]
ekii
ssti
llupand
probabl
ychat
ti
ngtoPhil
ionWhatsApp.
"
AyNqubeko"hecompl
ains.
"Whenyouaredonecallmet hen"Iendthecalland
pourmyselfadri
nkbefor
esitti
ngont hecouch.I
shouldbeinmyprivat
espacebuti '
m wait
ingto
Lindotoappr
oachmeort urnofftheli
ghti
nhis
[Link] t
andwai t
.
Mlul
ekicall
sbackaf
terf
ewmi
nut
esandIneed
someprivacyf
orthi
scal
l.
"Areyoudone?"Iaskwhi
leunl
ocki
ngt
hedoorand
steppi
ngoutsi
de.
"
Sortof
.SoihearThembekawentcr
azyear
li
er
t
oday"hel
aughs.
"Tot
all
ycrazybuti
'
m pr
oudofher
.Shewas
amazing"
"
Sowhat
'
sthepr
obl
em?
"Hesoundsl
ikehei
s
havi
ngadr
ink.
"It
akePhil
iissti
llpi
ssedof
fjudgingbyyour
dri
nki
ng"iteaseandexpectalaughbutitdoesn'
t
come.
"
I'
m st
art
ingt
othi
nki
t'
snotwor
thi
t"her
epl
ies.
"
[Link]
gumentandyouwantt
oqui
t?"
"
That'
swhyipref
erpai
dgir
[Link]
t
[Link]
ama"ihearaglassbei
ngslammedon
t
hetable.
"Youdoknowt hatthedramaisyourmot i
vati
onto
[Link]'
tcare
shewoul dn'
tbepissedoff
.Don'tgi
veupnow"It r
y
[Link]'tbebuyingsexfor
everand
youcan'tpayforcompanionship.
"Whatever
.Let
ssol
veyourpr
obl
[Link]
'seat
ing
you?"
Icl
osemyeyesandtheimagesofThembeka
cooki
ngwi
thClementf
orcesmetoopenmyeyes.
"
Ineedsoi
nfor
mat
iononCl
ement
"
"
Why?
"
"Justtobesur eoft heki
ndofper sonThembekai s
[Link]' tstopcheckingonhim soi
wantt obepr epared"Idon'taddthatClementmade
herlaughandshewasal lcalm andrelaxedwhil
e
theywer ecookingandl [Link] sdeadand
Clementi sheartbrokenIdon'twanthim being
attachedtoThembeka.
"
Becauseyout hi
nkshewil
lcheat
?"Icant
ellhe
t
hinksi
'm bei
ngridi
cul
ous.
"Idi
dn'
tsayt
hat
.Ij
ustwantt
oknowt
heki
ndofman
heis"
"
Nqubekoyouhavet
ost
opt
hisman"
"Heisyoungert
[Link]
eelshelpl
ess.
Thembekaisdrawnt
ohissi
tuat
ion"I'
m get
ti
ng
frust
rat
ednow.
"
Sowhat
?Shewon'
tcheatonyou"hesnaps.
"
Youdon'
tknowt
hat
"
"It
hinkyouneedther
apymoret
[Link]'
t
l
etThembekahearyousayyoudon'
ttr
usther
.Itwi
ll
breakherhear
[Link]
ementi
sfi
[Link]
mlessandI
doubthei
sthi
nkingaboutanot
herwomanr
ight
[Link]
oblems"
"[Link] amil
yisrot
[Link]
heywill
evenal l
owhi mt obur
yher"Ithi
nkaboutmyown
[Link] enotevenwit
hmybr ot
hersbutIknow
theywoul dn'tcometomyhouset oharass
Thembekai fidie.
"Heshoul
dn'
tevencar
eaboutit
.Helovedher
enoughwhil
eshewasali
[Link]
'sal
lthatmat
ter
s"
"Cal
lPhi
lianddowhat
everi
ttakest
omakei
tokay"I
advi
ce.
"Youalsostophavi ngthesedarkt houghts.
Thembekal [Link] imei '
m sendingyoua
bil
l.I
fi'
m becomi ngyourshr i
nkIdeser vesome
payment "[Link] aught ooandgo
[Link]'tfeel
betterbutit'
snotwor se
eit
[Link] justscaredthatIwilll
oseThembekat o
afoureyedZi mbabweanboy.
Iwalkbackinsideandfi
ndLi
ndost
andi
ngi
nthe
middleoft
hel ounge.
"
Lindo"
"
Mygi
rl
fr
iendi
spr
egnant
"hi
seyesar
eal
lout
.
Chapt
er74

St
rongLanguage

Nqubeko.

Ist
areathi
m wonder
ingwhathei
stal
kingabout
.
Li
[Link]'
tbehavi
ngsexalr
eady.
"
Shedoesn'
twantt
ohaveanabor
ti
on"hecont
inues.
Icont
inuet
ost
[Link]
ooksf
ri
ght
ened.
"
I'
vebeentryi
ngtotal
ktoherdad.Weareboth15.
Wecan'thaveababybutshewon'tl
ist
[Link]
t
ell
ingmeshei sscar
edtodoit
"
"GotobedLi [Link]
lltal
ktomorrow"t
hat'
sallI
[Link].
Iwaitunt
ilthedoori
sclosedbefor
elocki
ngthe
doorandremovi ngt
hekeysohedoesn'trunaway
whil
ewesl eep.
Thembekaisst
il
lsnor
ingwhenIj
oinheri
nbed.I
can'
tsl
[Link]
ndoisnotonl
yhavi
ngsexat15buthe
i
sgoingtobeafather
.
"Nqubeko"saysThembekaherhandt
ouchi
ngmy
chest.
"
Sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeantowakeyou"Iwhi
sper
.Iguess
i
'
vebeent
ossi
ngandtur
ningnonst
op.
"
It
'sf
[Link]
opeeanyway"
Ireachf
orthel
ightandt
urni
[Link]
supand
headtothebat
hroom.
Whenshecomesbackshesitsdownandstart
eati
ngtheor
angeasi
fit
'snotthemi
ddleofthe
night
.
"
What
'seat
ingyou?
"
Isi
tupandt
rynott
ost
areathernakedbr
east
s.
"Whatmakesyouthinksomet
hingi
seat
ingme?
"I
actal
lcoolabouti
t.
"[Link]
orbi
ddinglook
[Link]
twhenwewer ewithClement
andyoumadel ovet
omel i
keit
'sfort
helastti
me.
Sooutwit
hit"shesmi
lesandIr
eachf
orapi
eceof
theor
ange.
"I
t'
snothi
[Link]"Ican'
ttel
l
heraboutLi
ndoyet
.NotwhenIhaven'
thear
dthe
wholethi
ngmyself
.
"
Ifyousayso"
Webothconti
nuesharingt
heorangebutIdon'
teat
t
[Link]'
tri
skahear
tburn.
Whensheisdoneshegetsbackt
obedandIhol
d
herunt
ilwebot
hfal
lasl
eep.

*
****
***

Iwakeupal [Link] tai

nisopen
andthesuni salr
eadycomi ngint hewindowwhi ch
meansit'
swaypastmor ni
[Link] tupandspot
Thembeka'sphoneont hechar [Link]
llhere
andthatmakesmef eelabitbetterbutIknowher .
Shecouldbedr essi
ngupt ogocheckonCl ement
al
ready.
"Thembeka"Ical
loutwhil
emaki [Link]
repl
ywhichmeansshei sinthekit
[Link]
nishup
andbrushmyt eet
hbeforegoingtothekit
chen.I
fi
ndThembekabusyshowi ngLindohowt omake
[Link]
sonall
yIhatet
hem butIthinkthey
l
ikethem.
"
Mor
ningguys"Igr
eetandki
sshercheek.
"Morni
ngdad"saysAmandawi thapleasantsmil
e
onherfacewhichImustsaylooksniceonherfora
changebutt
heannoyedlookissti
llt
[Link]
shetakesaf
terrui
nedherl
ooks.
"Whatareyouguysmaking?
"Icanseei
tsthe
pancakesbutIdon'
tknowwhatel
setosay.
"Weareteachi
nghim howtomakepancakes.I
wokeupcr avi
ngsomethi
ngmadewithfl
our"says
Thembeka.
"
That
'sni
ce.I
'l
lhavecof
feet
hen"Igetthemugon
t
hecupboar
dandmakemyowncof fee.
Li
ndof i
nishesthepancakesandservet
heladi
es
befor
eIaskhi [Link]
low
eachothertotheback.
"
Whoi sshe?Whereisshe?Haveyout
oldyour
mother?
"Iaskthequest
ionsqui
ckl
ywhil
ehekeeps
l
ookingaroundasi
fhethinksi
t'
sanambush.
"
Wegot
oschoolt
oget
her
"that
'sal
lhesays.
"
Herpar
ent
s?Wher
ear
ethey?
"
"Shel
i
veswithhergr
andmot
her
.Herpar
ent
sar
ein
[Link]
her
e"
"
Howf
ari
sshe?
"
Nowhel ooksreal
lyf
ri
ght
[Link]
hinki
t'
smyvoi
cebut
Ican'
thelpit
.Heis15year
sold.
"
Almost3mont
hs"
Ist
areathi
mi ndi
sbel
ief
.Ithoughtwewer
etal
king
aboutsomeonewhoisonlyfewweeks.
"
3mont
hs?
"
HenodsandIst
opmysel
ffr
om smacki
nghi
m.
"
Doesyourmot
herknow?
"Ishout
.
"
Shedoesn'
tknow"
"
Cal
lherandt
ellher
"Idemand.
"
Butdad.
..
."
Thelookonmyf acestopshimf r
om speaki
[Link]
pul
lshisphoneoutandst ar
tmakingthecal
l.I
demandheput sthecallonspeaker
.
Nothi
le'
sphoner
ingsf
orawhi
lebef
oreshe
answers.
"
[Link]
stake"
"[Link]?
"Shesoundsal
armed.I
givehim ahardlook.
"Pi
nkyispregnantandshedoesn'
twantt
ohavean
abort
ion"hestar
tscryi
ng.
"
What
?!!
"
"
I'
m sor
[Link]
dn'
tmeant
omessupl
iket
his"
"DammitLi
[Link]
meshaveIwar
nedyou
aboutt
hatgi
rl
?"Shescr
eams.
"
I'm sorr
[Link]
dn'
tknowi
twasgoi
ngt
ocomeout
l
ikethis"
"Soyoudon'tknowthatsexmeanssomeonecan
getpregnant
?"Iask.
"
Nqubeko"
-Not
hil
e.
"Sheisal
most3monthspregnant
"Iaddsoshecan
getovert
heshockqui
ckl
y.
"
AyboLi
ndo"sheyel
ls.
"
Idi
dn'
tmeant
omessup"hecont
inuest
osob.
"That'
sthethi
ngLi
[Link]
.Youkeep
screwingupandbeingsorr
[Link]
sitgoi
ngto
stop?"It
hinkshei
sstart
ingtocr
yaswell
.
"
It
'st
imehecl
eansuphi
sownmess"
Li
ndol
ooksatmewi
thst
ainedcheeks.
"
Yes.I
t'
sti
met
ofi
xyourownmess"Ir
epeat
.
"Icantal
ktoPinky'
sgrandmot her
.Wecanfi
nda
solut
ionthatwon'
tbackfi
re"saysNot
hil
e.
"
Whatsol
uti
on?
"
"
I'
llt
alkt
oherandof f
ert
ocoverthecostoft
he
t
erminat
ion"suggest
sNothi
le.
"Soyouar egoi
ngt
oforcehert
ohaveanaborti
on?
"
Ithoughtat3mont
hsitmeansitcangetal
it
tl
e
complicat
ed.
"
[Link]
[Link]
nkyi
s15yearsoldNqubeko.
Whatdoessheknowaboutraisi
ngakid?
"Sheasks.
"Soyouthinkwhynottraumat
izeherbyfor
cingher
tohaveanabor t
ionwhensheisalmost3months
pregnant
?"Iask.
"
Whatdoyousuggestwedot
hen?
"Shesnaps.
"
Whynotl
ethermakeachoi
ce"Isuggest
.
"
Andwhat
?Paychi
l
dsuppor
t?Hei
s15Nqubeko"
"Andat15het houghtwhynothaveunprot
ect
ed
[Link]
sagebefor
e
hethoughthewasmanenought ohavesex"
"Soweshoul
dlethi
m payforamist
akef
ort
her
est
ofhi
sli
fe?
"Shestar
tsshouti
ng.
"
Noneedt
[Link]
me"
"Thenshutupandletmefixi
t"thel
inegoesdead
after
.It
akethephoneandcallagai
[Link]
i
tseemsl i
keshewon'tanswerbutshedoes.
"
[Link]'tthi
nki
t'
sfai
rthatwewanttoputLi
ndo
f
ir
[Link]
stokeepthebabythenshe
shouldn'
tbefor
cedtot
ermi
nat
eNot
hil
[Link]
feel
ingsmatt
ertoo"
"Whatchil
dcouldber ai
sedby15yearolds
[Link]'tbefooli
[Link]
ldonot
hingbut
dest
roytheirf
utur
[Link]'
llf
ixi
tandIwil
[Link]
mehernumberLi ndo"sheendst hecal
laf
terthat
.
"Li
feisabouttaki
ngresponsi
bil
it
yofthemessyou
creat
eLindo.At15youhadnobusi nesshavi
ng
sex"Ist
andupandl eavehimtheretothi
nkabouti
t.

*
****
***

Thembeka

NqubekoprotestedwhenIaskedtobet akento
Clement'
shousebutnowhi m andClement '
sfri
end
arebusyarguingaboutsoccer
.Iwon'tl
ie,Il
ikeit
l
ikethi
[Link] ehelpingsomeoneinneedand
Nqubekoisnotact i
ngallwei
rdaboutit
.
"
Ican'
tthankyouenough"saysCl
ementcomi
ngt
o
standnextt
omeaswebot
hst
areatt
hegar
den
throught
hewindow.
"It
'sf
ine"[Link] s
[Link] tsuit
shi mjust
fi
[Link] m st
andoutj ustf
ineandIcant ell
thatheisprobablycharmingt ooevent houghhe
[Link] udgepeopl ewho
wearglassesandenj [Link] lthem nerds
butClementisahandsomener dwithabr ightsmil
e.
"
CanIconf
esssomet
hing"It
urnt
ofacehi
m.
"[Link]
'
sup?
"Hesmi
lesbuti
tdoesn'
treachhi
s
eyes.
"Youarethefir
[Link]
actual
lyt
alkto"hedoesn'
tlaughatf
ir
standI
wonderifi'
veoffendedhi
m.
"
Why?
"
"
BecauseIgrewupar [Link]
wer
eraisedtothi
nkverylessofotherAfr
icans"I
j
ustt
ellhi
mt hetr
[Link] edidn'
twant
t
obeassociatedwithotherAf
ri
cansunlessthey
wer
ebuyingwhatevertheywereselli
[Link]
t
hat
,anyi
nter
act
ionwasquest
ioned.
"
That
'
sbad"hedoesn'
tshowanyannoyance.
"
Yeahbutnowthati
'
m ol
derIt
hinkt
heywer
ejust
misi
nfor
med"
"Buti'
mthef
ir
stguyyou'
veevert
alkedt
o"hesmi
les
again.
"AndIli
keitwhi
chmeansIwouldhaveli
kediteven
[Link]
tuni
ti
es"Ishrug.
"
Meani
ng?
"
"Thi
[Link] eli
ningup
forst
udentcardphot
[Link]
snexttome
andheclearl
ywantstotal
kbutIdidn'
ttal
ktohim"
"
Why?
"
"Becausehewasfrom Ni
ger
iaandIwasmor e
thi
nkingabouthi
m bei
ngaforei
[Link]
dhave
kepttheconver
sati
ongoi
[Link]
"
"Iguesssobutsometi
mesitt
akesusawhilet
oget
outofwhatwegr owupbei
[Link]
hereal
world"
"
AndIf
ail
ed"Ir
epl
y.
"Fai
led?"Herai
sehi
seyebrowsandIcan'
thel
p
thi
nkinghisbear
dandeyebrowsar
etoodarkl
ikehe
dyesthem.
"[Link]
[Link]
d
havetalkedtothesell
ingguyst
hatcamet oour
homesel li
ngvegetabl
eracksandwashingbasins.I
shouldhaveopenedmymi ndtothegetti
ngtoknow
otherpeople"
"Youareget t
ingworkedupovernot hi
[Link]
shouldhavet ri
[Link]
'sayouputsome
effor
tforbothsidesituati
[Link]
canbefriendsomeonef r
om anothercountr
ybut
theyhavet owantitt
oo"
"
Iguesssobutst
il
[Link]'
tver
ywel
comi
ng"
"[Link]
comi
ngwheni t
comest othesel
ongli
neswedealwit
hondai l
y
basi
[Link] osedof
fwhenti
red"he
l
aughs.
"
Butst
il
l"
"Nosti
ll
.Tel
lyouwhat ?I'm goingtointr
oduceyou
tosomeofmyf r
[Link] efrom ot
her
count
ri
esinAf r
[Link] rom Ghanaandhe
hasbeenaskingtochillsoi'l
ltakeyouwi t
hwhen
wego"heoffers.
"
Great
.Ican'
twai
t"hi
sphonest
art
sri
ngi
ngandI
t
urnbacktot
hewindowwhenheanswer
sit
.
"
What?"Heasksaf
teramoment
.Ican'
thel
ptur
nto
l
ookathim.
"Okayfine"heendsthecal
[Link]
leon
hisfacevanishesandit
'sr
eplacedbypain.
"
Whati
sit
?"Iaskunabl
etohel
pmysel
f.
"
Ican'
tatt
endJabu'
sfuner
[Link]
ebur
yingher
t
omorrow"
"Tomorrow?I
sn'
tthatt
oosoon?
"Shej
ustdi
ed
yest
erday.
"
Theydon'
twantmet
her
eatal
l"t
ear
sfi
llhi
seyes.
"
Butshewasyourwi
[Link]
elyyouhaver
ight
stoo"
"Eveni
fIdohaveri
ght
sit
'snotwort
hit
.Sheisnot
comingback"hest
art
ssobbingandHoldhi
shand
whi
lel
ett
ingoutmyownt
ear
s.I
t'
snotf
airatal
l.
Chapt
er75

Phi
li

Theweekendi salmostover .Wehadar eall

ygood
[Link] ooktheki dsoutfor
l
[Link] nvitedAmandaandLi ndobutLi ndo
decli
nedsayi nghehadhomewor [Link] i
edbutwe
al
lact edlikeitwasal [Link] svery
dif
[Link] sonal i
tybutshei skind.I
sawi twhenshewasshowi ngCel i
wesomeappson
hersmar t
[Link] dn'
tactal lbettert
hanmy
daught erinsteadshewashappyt oexplainthings.
Tobadhermot herr
aisedhert obecl osedoffand
[Link] hedayoutendedThembeka
andAmandawentt odr opherbacki ntoherfather'
s
houseandI 'm backathomet ryi
ngnott otalkto
Mlulekionwhat sapp.
"
Phi
li
"saysDabul
awal
kingi
n.
"
Hey"Iqui
ckl
[Link]
eastI
'
llst
op
f
ight
ingmysel
ftot
alktohi
m.
"Nqubeko'sof
fi
ceguyjustcal
ledandtheywantme
i
nt omorrow"Hesi
tsdownandst artr
ubbinghi
s
knees.
"Andyouwi l
lbefine"I
'm happyf
orhi
[Link]
i
twasaffectingtobestayinghomeal
ldayaft
er
beingabreadwinnerforsolong.
"
Yout
hink?
"
"
[Link] ,
ever
yonehasaf
irstdayat
[Link]
ether
eal
sofacedthi
s
moment"
"
Iguessyouar
eri
ght
"hesmi
les
"
Sohasshecall
edagai
n?"HeknowswhoIam
t
alki
ngabout
.
"NoandIhopeshedoesn'
[Link]
dn'
tevenaskt
o
speakt
ohim"
"Becauseshedoesn'
tcar
[Link] t
ch.I
f
shecallsgi
vethephonet
omeandi '
l
ltel
lher
exactl
ywhatIthi
nkofher"I
'
m gett
ingallf
ir
edup
al
ready.
"AndIwil
[Link]
socall
[Link]
ohearhow
arethi
ngsther
[Link] oundlast
[Link]
ingheisupt osomethi
ng"
"
Somet
hingl
ikewhat
?"Ther
eisnot
hingmuchl
eft
t
her
e.
"
Idon'
[Link]
dbesel
li
ng
t
heplaceyouknow"webothl
augh.
"Ihopehedoesn'tfi
ndanyonedesper
ateenoughto
berobbed"Ilaughandmyphoner i
[Link] h
l
ookatitbeforeDabulagi
vesmeal ookthatsays
"Areyounotgoingtoanswer"i
t'
sMlulekiandI'
m
debati
ngwhet hert
oanswerornot.
"Atsomepoi
ntyouwi l
lneedt
otakeachanceSi
si"
hegetsupandleave.
Ist
areatthephoneunti
litst
opsri
ngingbuti
t
doesn'
tst
ayqui etf
orl
ongbecauseitri
ngsagai
n
andit'
sst
illhi
m.
It
akeadeepbr
eat
handpi
ckup.
"
Phi
li
swa"
"
Yes"
"Di
nnertoni
ght.I
'l
lsendandriver
.Wehavet
otal
k"
hepausesbeforeadding"
Please"
"Ican'tIhavepl
ans"Il
[Link]
[Link]
alreadywentouttodayandIknowthekidswi
llwant
anear lyni
ght.
"Iknowyoudon'
[Link]
llbet
her
[Link]
havetotal
[Link]
ease"
"Okayf
inebuti
'm notstayi
ngthenight
"Ifhet
hinks
hecanjustsmoothmeoverwi thsomedumbt alk
thenheisi
nforar ealsur
pri
se.
"
Nopr
obl
em.Seeyouat7"heendst
hecal
l.
Iputthephonedownandgothekitchenf
oragl
ass
[Link]
esweir
dbuti
thelpswhenyou
havethingsi
nyourheadandIhavesomanythi
ngs
i
nmyheadr i
ghtnow.

*
****
***
"Youaredr inki
[Link] '
sup"asks
Thembekat hemomentshewal [Link]
ds
disappearintothebedroom wit
ht hetoysNqubeko
boughtf [Link]
lIhearthedoorclose
beforetakinganothersip.
"Di
nnertoni
[Link]
ngt
hecar
"Itake
anothersi
pandeachtimeIdomytast
esbudsgo
i
ntoat emporar
yshock.
"
Sowhyar
eyouget t
ingdr
unk?"Shesi
tsdownand
t
hrowt
hecarkeysonthetabl
e.
"
Becausei'
mf eel
ingner
vousaboutever
ythi
ng"I
t
akeanothersip.
"Stopdr
[Link]
ngyouwanti
stoget
thereal
readydrunk"shegr abst
hegl
assinmyhand
andspil
lsomeont hefloor
.
"
Maybewheni
'
m dr
unki
'
llr
eactbet
ter
"
"Youwon'[Link]
iket
[Link]
k
tohim gi
rl
.Havesomef oodwhil
edoi
ngi t
.Justl
ay
outtherul
esear lysoheknowswhatshityouwon't
tol
erat
e"shet akesasip.
"Don'
tmakethebabypickupt
het
ab"Iwar
nbef
ore
shetakesasecondsi
p.
"
Thebabyhat
est
hewi
ne"shel
aughs.
"
[Link]
vemebackmygl
ass"
Shehandsi
tback.
"Il
ikehi
[Link]
eatbutIj
ustdon'
twantt
o
gethurt
.Todealwi
tht
herej
ect
ionaft
eral
lthi
s"
ShelooksatmeasifsheknowswhatImeanbutI
knowshedoesn't
.Thembekaknowspai
nbutnot
theki
ndthatI
'vef
aced.
"That
'swhyyouneedt obesoberandtel
lhim al
l
that
.Justl
ethim knowwhatyoudrawal i
neto.I
tol
dNqubekoi fhecheat
sonmei '
m outforgood.I
f
cheatst
henI'
llknowit'
sti
metoexit"Iwi
shingcoul
d
besureli
keher .
"ButIdon'
tevenknowwhatI '
mf acedwit
h
[Link]
readyt
oldmehei snotasai
nt.
Hecouldbewor sethenacheater"
"
YeahIknowbutfornowwear ej
ustspecul
ati
ng.
Unt
ilyougot
odinnerandhearhi
m outwecan't
know"sher
aiseshereyebr
ows.
"
Iguessso"
Webot hj
umpwhensomeonebuzzesatthegate.
Aft
erthewholedr
amawi
thPret
ty,
wear ebothsti
ll
shakenabit
.
Thembekaget supt
oanswerwhil
eIt
aketheglass
totheki
[Link]
hedoorIrushto
seewhoi ti
s.
Webothstandout
sideast
hisl
adydr
ivesi
nwear
ing
abr
ightsmil
e.
Whensheget
soutt
akesoutal
argebaganda
dr
ess.
"
MissPhi
li
swaKhumal
o"sher
eadsonhercl
ipboar
d.
"
That
'
sme"Ir
epl
y.
"
Hil
adi
es.I
'
m Mavi
[Link]
lwegoi
nsi
de?
"
"[Link]
eyout el
luswhyyouareher
e"I
speakfi
rstandlooksatThembekabef
orenoddi
ng.
"IwassentbyMrMl ul
eki
.Thedr
essandshoesf
or
you"sherai
sesherbagabit.
"
Fordi
nnert
oni
ght
"saysThembekaal
lcheer
ful
.
[Link]
di
dsendatextaboutt
hedeli
[Link]
ustdi
dn'
tseeit
.

*
****
***

It'
sat ransf or
mat i
[Link] sMavi nladyknowshowt o
transform aper sonf rom or di
narytosomet hingout
ofamagazi ne.I'
m wear ingal ongbl ackdr esswi t
h
glit
teryst affonthesl [Link] hislongsl i
ton
thet hi
ghandIhugsmyassandst omachl ikeIdon' t
havel ovehandl [Link] ightst ogive
myassabi tofalif
tandt henmademeweart hese
l
ongheel edshoesThembekasai dt heyar ecal l
ed
redbot [Link] hi
nki t'
sbecauset heyhaver edsole.
Ifeeltallerandbr eathlessbecauseI '
m wor ried
aboutf alling.
Theladylookspleasedwit
hherwor [Link]
unt
ilthecararr
ivestogetmeandt hemangi vesme
afl
owerbef or
eopeni ngt
[Link] s
al
soher ebuthedoesn'tl
ookokayatal l
.If
eelbett
er
thoughbecausewi
thhi
m ar
oundIknowt
heyar
e
safe.
Thedriveri
squi
etasweheadovert oMluleki
'
s
[Link]
slikeit'
sgoi
ngtobeatit'
sway
outofmychestandIt hinkthedr
ivercanhearitt
oo.
Thetri
pseemsshor t
erandbef or
eIcouldevencalm
downwear ealr
eadyther e.
"Haveagoodnightmi
ss"sayst
hedr
iveraf
ter
openingt
hedoor.
"Thanks"It
ryt
osmi
lebuti
'
mtooner
vousf
ori
tto
comer i
ght.
Heclosest
hecarjustasMluleki
[Link]'
t
hel
pbuttostar
[Link] i
ngadarkbluesuitand
awhiteshi
rtwi
ththelastt
wobut t
onsundone.
"
Thanksman"hesayst
othedr
iver
.
"Sharp"t
hedriversoundslessfor
malnowandI
watchashedr [Link]
ekipr
essest hegat
e
remotebefor
ehest epscl
[Link] aket
he
perfumeinfi
[Link] l
sreal
[Link]
s
l
ikeamanandIl ikeit.
"
Youl ookgor
geous"[Link]
wit
htheshoesheisstil
ltal
landatoni
ghtheseems
l
argertoo.
"
[Link]
sdi
danamazi
ngj
ob"
"Youwerealreadyther
[Link]
lwe?
"Heof fershi
s
[Link] neontohisandsmi
[Link]
inkingearl
ier
helped,
justabit.
Wewal kslowlytowardsthecornerofthehouse.I
thi
nkheknowst hatIf
earfal
li
ngbecausehedoesn' t
rushmeatal l
.Whenwef i
nal
lymakei tIcan'thelp
[Link] eareaisl
itbysmal lcandles
i
[Link]
[Link]
arebl
uesomear egold.
"
Wowt
hisi
sbeaut
if
ul"
"
Ihi
redaper
sont
odot
his"hel
aughs.
Ilookf araheadandt hereisatabl
[Link]
candl esinthetabl
etoobutt hebeauti
fulbl
ueli
ght
comesf rom thepoolli
[Link]
carryingat r
ayandhepl acesi
tonthetablebefor
e
turningtogr eetme.
"
Thanksman.I'
l
ltakeitf
rom her
e"hesayst
othe
manaswefinal
lyreachthet
able.
Themannodsanddi sappearbackt
othehouse.
Mlul
ekipul
[Link]
pourst
hewi nei
nthesel ongwinegl
assesand
handsmeonebef oresitt
ingdownwithhi
s.
"Ioweyouanapol ogyMaKhumal [Link]
ewest art
thi
seveni [Link]
givenessformy
behavi ort
helastti
[Link] hings
[Link]
erfr
om [Link] ease
forgiveme"het akesoutali
tt
leboxonhi sjacket
andhandsi tovert
ome.
"
Sot hismeanswewon'
thaveuninvi
tedguest
swho
wil
linsul
tme?Iaskwi
thoutopeni
ngthebox.
"
[Link]
eri
scl
osed"
"
GoodbecauseIwon'
tst
andf
ort
hat
"
"Iknowandyoudon' tneedto.I'
m goingtobe
strai
ghtfrom nowonmyl [Link]"hedoesn'
t
evenbl i
[Link] [Link]
breakdowni nfrontofyouandst i
llbelyi
ng.I
t'
s
somet hi
ngtheydosowel l
.
"I
nthatcaseIdofor
giveyou"It
aketheboxand
openit.I
t'
saneckl
[Link]
acewit
hmy
i
niti
alsonit
."[Link]
sgorgeous"
"I
'
m gl
adyoul
ikei
t"hesmil
esandr
eachf
ormy
hand"
areweokaynow?"
"Ithi
nkwear [Link]'tdoitagai
[Link]
beal i
ttl
edemandi ngandhar shbutIhatebei
ngl
ied
toandIhatebei ngtreat
edlikeachil
[Link]
dismissalt
one"
"[Link]
n"hesmi l
esbefor
eheget sup
[Link]
sshim backand
thephoneinterr
uptsus.I
t'
shisphonenotmi ne.
"Sorry"Hepul
lsi
toutandf r
ownbef oreansweri
ng.I
sipthewineandli
stentomyt astesbudsasthey
compl ai
naboutt
hef or
eigntast
et heyar
esubjected
totoday.
Mlul
eki'
scal
ldoesn'
tlastl
ongbuthelooks
di
stur
bedwhent heputsthephoneback.
"
Ever
ythi
ngokay?
"Iaskhopi
ngi
t'
snotwor
stnews.
"
Thatwasmyst
epsi
ster
.Herdaught
ercommi
tt
ed
sui
[Link]
oundheri
nabat
htub"
"That
'shorri
ble"Ican'
teveni
magi
neCel
iwei
nthat
posit
[Link].
"Shewassuchabr ightchil
[Link]
ngwit
hher
[Link]'tgeti
[Link]
coulddr
ivea15yearol dtosuicide?
"Helooksatme
l
ikehethinksImi ghthaveananswer .
"Youwil
lbeshockedtofindoutwhatkidsdealwi
th
nowadays"Imighthavemyownpr oblemsbutItry
byallmeanstoalwaysremindCel
iwet hatt
herei
s
noprobl
em shecan'tsharewi
thme.
"
[Link]
lthekidst
[Link]
nkywas
t
heonlyoneIli
kedandtrustmeIdon'
tli
kemy
f
amilyatal
l"
"
Why?"Manypeopl
edon'tgetal
ongwithfami
lybut
t
oadmiti
toutl
oudisnotnormalformany.
"Mystepmot herwasacr uelper
sonPhi
li
.She
rai
sedthem t
obevi l
elikehersoassoonasIcoul
d
getoutIgotoutforgood"
"
Getout
?"
"Beabletotakecareofmysel f
.Ileftthem whenI
[Link] nthestr
eetsfor3year [Link] ft
o
JohannesburgwhenIwas15.By16Icoul ddr i
ve,
shootagunandat17Iwaspar tofagr oupthat
robbedalargesuper marketi
nTembi [Link]
[Link]
'sthestoryforanotherday"
Ist
areathi
m mymout
hopen.
"
I'
m sor
ryIdi
dn'
tmeant
oshockyou"hesmi
les.
"Soyou'vedonethi
[Link] hi
ngsbef
ore?
"It
ryt
o
soundlessjudgementalr
ightnow.
"
Yes.I'
ver
obbedachurchatgunpoi
nt"hesaysi
t
l
ikehewil
lsayhei
sjoki
ng.
"
Achur
ch?
"
"[Link] lneighborhoodchurch
Phil
[Link] argechurchwi t
hover200member s.
Madei toutwithwat ches,[Link]
don'tdothatanymor [Link] i
nal
lygotoutIswore
toneverdoi tagain"heexplains.
Inodandthi
nkaboutthi
[Link]
eused
tosayi
t'
sthebeaut
if
ulpeoplewhodoest
here
unbeli
evabl
[Link]
youlookatMlulekiyouwouldn'tt
hinkofhim asa
cri
minalandrobbingachurch.
Chapt
er76

Adul
tCont
ent

Phi
li
.

Wemovet othehousewhent heairisstart

stocool
downandMl ulekipoursanot hergl
assofwi nefor
measwesi tinthel oungewithmusi cplayi
nglowin
thebackgr
[Link] snolongerdrinki
ngwi ne
i
nsteadheisdrinkingsomet hinggoldintheglass.
"Soyouareachar
mi ngmanwi thadarkside"Iask
tokeept
heconversati
ongoing.I
'mfeel
ingvery
cal
m andIthi
nkit
'sthewine.
Hel
aughsandt
akemyt
ohi
s.
"
Char
ming?
"
"
Youarever
ychar
mi ngMl [Link]
ikeamyst
ery.
Asexyki
ndofmystery"Igiggl
e.
"Toomuchwi neIsee"het
akestheglassfr
om my
[Link]
otestandholdt
heglasst
ightinmy
hands.
"
I'
mfi
[Link]
oyt
his"
"Notwhenyouar
edr [Link]
llhavet
ofuck
youandyouwon'tenjoyifyouaredrunk"herai
ses
hiseyebr
ows.
"
Youshoul
dn'tsayfuck"I
tsoundsembar
rassi
ng
whenhesaysitl
ikethat
.
"Fuckbabygi r
l.I
'm goingtofuckyouhardandt o
showj usthowhar dI'
lltakeyouagainstt
hewalland
fi
[Link] et'
stakeawayt hi
s"hetakesthe
glassandI '
m sti
llpr
ocessingthoughtsofbei
ng
fuckedagainstthewal l
.
Whenhewal ksacr
osstheroom topourmeaglass
ofwaterIcan'
thel
pbutst
[Link]
MluI'
m smallandIcur
semygr andmotherf
or
gi
vingusthisti
nyfr
ame.
"
Heredri
nkt hi
s"heholdsthewaterinfrontofme.I
t
aketheglassandplaceitonthetable.
"
Thanks"
"Ial
mostf orgot"het ur
nsandr unupstai
rst
aking
twoatt [Link]
llwonderi
[Link]
hadal ovelydinner
, expensivewineandhebought
mej [Link] slef
tther
e.
Whenhecomesbackheusicar ryi
ngashoppi
ng
backnotaplast
icbagbutt
heonesmadeoutof
hardpaperandsmell
sli
keroses.
"
Iboughtyout
hese"hehandst
heshoppi
ngbagt
o
me.
Istandupandst ar
ttaki
ngthecol ourf
ulpapersout
beforepulli
ngoutwhatIdon' tunderstandatfir
st
untilIhol
di twit
[Link]'
sag- stri
[Link]-
str
ingwi t
hst ri
ngsandaver ysmal lar
eat ocovera
verysmal lpartoft
hevagina.
"
Ther
eismor
e"heencour
ages.
It
akeoutmorefabri
candit
'sdi
ff
erentpi
eces.
Matchi
ngpi
ecesfrom br
astopanti
esandverysexy
shor
twi
thamat
chi
ngvest
.
"
Thankyousomuch.I
'
lldef
ini
tel
yweart
his"Ipi
ck
t
heshort
s.
"Whenyouar [Link]
[Link] ai
rs
andputt hem on"thewayhesaysitIcanfeel
myselfgetti
ngwetwi thoutbei
ngtouched.I
t'
sthe
alcohol
.Itmakesonel osethei
rcommonsenseand
makest hem horny.
"
But
..
..
."It
ryt
oar
guebuthest
opsme.
"Justgobaby.I'
llbeupinaminut
e"hewi
nksand
pushthepantiestowardsme.
"Notbefor
ewashingthem fi
[Link] es
beforeweari
ngthem"I'
ml yi
[Link]'[Link]
j
eansbecauseIheadt hatsomegi r
lsdon'twear
undiesandthentheytr
yonj eansinthef i
tt
ingroom
soIwasht hem f
ir
st.
"Okayfi
[Link]
air
sandtakethatdr
essof
f
becauseImightri
piti
fIdoitmysel
f.
It
akeasi
pofwat
erandgr
abmycl
utchbef
ore
headingupst
air
swit
hmygr
ipontherai
lsot
ightI
'
m
afr
aidtofal
landbr
eakmyl
egandneck.

*
****
***

Thebedr oom smel l

sli
keagardenandIcan'thelp
[Link]
I'
m wearinglacepant i
est
hatMavisandThembeka
saidtheywi l
[Link]'tgethow
becausesomet i
mesIdostaywi t
houtwearingandI
sti
llf
eelfine.
Itakethedressoffandcar
eful
lyputitoverthechai
r
beforetaki
ngtheshoesoff
.Nowi '
m backt omy
origi
nalhei
ghtanditmakesmel [Link]'m
drunkandhor ny.
Il
owwhist
lemakesmej ump.I
t'
shi
m andhei
s
l
eani
ngagainstt
hedoorfr
ame.
"
Putt
heshoesonf
orme"
Idon'
tprot
[Link]
ipthem onandst
andt
her
einl
ace
panti
esandredbottoms.
"Youlooksofine"hestart
sunbutt
oninghisshir
this
eyeskeeplookingatmeupanddown" Iappreci
ate
[Link]
uralbeauty"hetakest
heshirtofandhe
i
sl ef
twithawhi t
evestthathugshisbody.
"Youareal
sohandsome"Ir
epl
ynotsur
ewhat
exact
lydoIdonow.
"Butyouaremoreimport
[Link]
ovet
hese"hewal
ks
closerandt
ouchthepanti
es.
"
Ilovet
hem t
oo"
"AsIappreci
atet
hebeaut yIalsolovel
inger
[Link]
ove
seeingyouwalki
ngar oundmyhousei nsomet hi
ng
sexyandexpensive"I
'm abouttoanswerbuthe
clai
msmyl ipswithsuchhunger.
Thekissisdeepandi
ntenseIcanf
il
lhi
sfi
nger
s
l
eavingaprintonmyfl
eshanditmakesme
shudder.
MyhandsfumblewiththebeltabitbutIfi
nal
ly
managet
ot akei
toffbefor
ehel owershispant
s
downwit
houtbreaki
ngthekiss.
Whenmybodyl
eavest
hef
loorIgaspandpul
laway.
"
It
'[Link]'tfal
l"hewhi
sper
[Link]
shIf
ell
t
hatcalm butIdon'
t.
"Thebedpl
ease"Iaskbef
orehet
akesmyl
ipst
ohi
s
again.
Thereisnoanswerbutaf t
eramomentIl andont he
bedwi t
hhim abovemei mmediatel
[Link]
brokenagai
nandsmi l
eswhenhi sf
ingertr
acesthe
el
asticonmypant i
[Link] l
sthem aside
andtouchesmeIl etoutasurpr
isemoan.I'm
al
readywetandr [Link]
eall
yblamethewi ne.
"
Condom pl
ease"Ir
emi
ndhi
m.
Henodsandr eachunderthepill
owandpul loneout.
Il
ookawaywhenheput sitonandt henhishand
pushesmykneesdownt odi ff
erentdir
ect
[Link]
soexposedbuthedoesn'tgivemet imetothink
abouti
twhenhepul l
sthepant i
esasideandpush
hi
mselfin.
"
Kneesdown"hegr
unt
swhenImovemyl
egs.
Idoastol
dandfeel
him ashesi
nksdownsodeep
afor
eignf
eel
ingmakesmeshudderabit
.
"Eyesonmebeaut i
[Link]"hewhi sper
s
beforerest
inghi
supperbodyonhi sfir
[Link]
slowlypull
sbackwithouttaki
nghiseyesoffmine.I
moveonel egbutheshakeshi sheadquickl
y.
"
Don't
.Ineedyoutobeopenli
kethi
s"hegoesback
i
nharderthenbef
oreandIl
etoutamoanwhile
t
ryi
ngtobitemyli
ps.
"Shii
ii
.Nosoundyet "hewhispersandpull
sout
almostcompl etel
ybeforehecomesbackagai nin
anevenhar derthrust
.Myhandssi nkinhi
sbacki n
adesper at
eattempttokeephim buri
edinsideme
l
ikethisbuthegr absthecoverandpullhi
mselfup
sti
llburi
[Link]
seemst otouchasensi t
ivepl
aceinsideme.
"That
'si
[Link]
t"hepusheshis
kneesupandf or
cesmyl egst
oopenevenmor e.
Hisarm goesabovemyheadwhilehisot
herarm
l
ocksaroundmyr ightar
m andpi
nsitonthebed.
"Mlul
eki
"Idon'
tknowwhyI '
m cal
li
nghi
snamebuti
t
seemsfit
ti
[Link]'
trepl
yinst
eadhestar
ts
thr
usti
ngdeepandupsohar dandsofastal
lI
managet odoi stomoanhi snameandacceptt he
buil
dingsensationthat
'sthreatenstot akemy
[Link]' tstopevenwhenmyl egs
seem tohaveami [Link] i
maxhi t
s
mesohar deveryt
hingstopswor ki
ngf oramoment
butitdoesn'tst
[Link] inuesuntilmymoant urn
i
ntoloudscr eamsandIor gasm sohar dIfeell
ikeI
j
ustpeedal [Link] henhest opsand
coversmyl i
psf or
cinghisownmoansi nt
omy
mout hasher eacheshisownor gasm.
Mybodycont
inuest
otr
embl
easIenj
oyt
heaf
ter
shocks.
"That
'showi'
l
lfuckyouever
ytimeyougetangry
andignoremytextandmessages"hewhisper
sin
myearwheni '
mt r
yingt
ocatchmybr eat
h.
"
Hhuh"myheadi
snotal
lbackyet
.
"[Link]
dyoutoyellatmeifyouaremadbut
i
gnor i
ngmei schi
ldi
[Link]
vessome
punishment"hesl
owl ypul
lsoutandsomewar
m
wetnessfoll
ows.
"
Thatwaspuni
shment
?"Idon'
[Link]'
tthi
nkI
havet
heener
gyanyway.
"
[Link] i
mpseofwhatrealpuni
shmentwil
l
f
eell
[Link]"heti
estheknotonthedi
rt
y
r
ubberanddr opsi
tonthefl
oor.
"
Idon'
tgeti
t"
Helooksatmeandnodbefor
ehegrabst
heel
ast
ic
ofmypantiesandr
ipst
hem i
nonego.
"
Mlu!
!!
"
"Shi
ii
.I'
m showi ngyouwhatImean"hesl apsmy
handawayf r
om t hepantiesbeforehet ossest hem
onthef l
[Link] r
ytocl osemyl egshepul ls
them apartandbur yhisfacei nmywetandswol l
en
centr
[Link] i
onisal mostpainful
.Myhands
grabhisheadbuthedoesn' tst
[Link] i
vit
yi s
mindblowi ngashechangesf r
om theki ssi
ng,
sucki
ngandl i
[Link] i
ghti
nghi m andpul lmy
headbackt oallowhi mt oownmef ornow.
Theact i
vit
ylastunti
li'
m beggi
ngformor ebuthe
doesn'ti
nsteadher eachesupandpullanother
condom undert hepill
[Link]
inkheisalready
glovedandbacki [Link]
kebeforethisti
me
hestar
tspoundingmer i
[Link]
hrust
sar
e
har
dandf ast
.Itwon'
ttakelongf
ormetocome.
"Nextti
mewehaveanar [Link]
hitl
ike
adult
[Link]
eavi
ngwi t
houtsayi
nggoodbye"hesays
i
nmyearwi t
houtevenpausingthehumping.
Inodunabl
etor
epl
youtl
oud.
"
LoudPhi
li
[Link]
tloud"hedemands.
"
Nomor
echi
ldi
shness"Isayi
tqui
ckl
y.
"
Neverr
equestuberwi
thoutt
ell
ingmef
ir
st"
"
Okay"
"
Andneveri
[Link]
obl
em wet
alki
tout
.
Nomorewhat?"
"
Silencet
reat
mentonthephone"Isayandhol
dhi
m
t
ightbecausei
'm comi
ngnow.
"Goodgir
[Link]
oveyou"het hrustonelastt
imeandi
t
feel
sli
kethisorgasm wi
llkil
lmest r
aight
.Ihol
dhi
m
ti
ghtandmyvi sioni
salittl
eblurr
yasIcomeso
hardmylegsshake.
Idon'
tfeelhi
m pul
loutbecausei
'
m exhaust
edand
al
lIdoi
stostareatt
hemani nmyf
acebef
ore
dr
if
ti
ngtoexhaust
edsleep.
Chapt
er77

Phi
li

It'
sanewdayandIf eelsi
ck.I
t'
st hehangoverfrom
thewineandexhausti
onfrom [Link]
fuckedmelikehewassettl
ingthescorelastnight
andagainthismorni
[Link]'
tknowwher eheget
theenergyfr
om buthehasit.
Idragmysel ftothebat hr
oom andopent hehot
watert apbeforeusinghistoothbrushcupt odrink
fi
vegl assesandt henthrowupi nthet oi
let
.WhenI
fi
nishIr epeattheprocessmaki ngsurethewat er
i
sn'[Link] '
m doneIgeti ntothe
shower .Itdoesn'
tmakemef eelbetterbutthenasty
feel
ingi nmychesti [Link] neisnotfancyand
themor ni
ngafterisevenwor se.
"
Phi
li
"heknocksont
hedoorandpushi
topen
bef
oreIcananswerorevengr
abat
owel
.
"Ar
eyouf
eel
ingsi
ck?
"Heasksi
gnor
ingmynaked
body.
"
Abi
t"It
aket
het
owelandwr
api
tar
oundmybody.
"Youneedsomef oodandsomeli
qui
[Link]"He
reachesoverandtakemyhandt
ohim."Ar
eyou
sore?"
Atfi
rstIdon'
tgeti
tunt
ilt
her
eisanaught
ysmi
leon
hi
slips.
"
[Link]
ir
ed"If
eelmycheeksbur
nandIavoi
dhi
s
f
ace.
"
[Link]
dhatetoinj
ureyou"hewhi
sper
sas
webothl
eavethebat
hroom.
Ist
opwal ki
[Link] I
bei
ngkickedout
?ButIdidn'
tbr
ingapackedbag
whenIcameover.
"Ihavetoawayforf
ewdays"hesayswhenhe
noticesmelooki
ngatt
hebag.
"
[Link]
nky?
"Ir
ememberj
ustbi
tsoft
heni
ghtbef
ore.
"[Link]
ustdon'
tgetit
.Shewassuchahappychild
Phil
[Link]
ngli
kethi
sjust
doesn'tmakesense"heshakeshi
shead.
"Icanonlyimaginehoweveryoneisf
eeli
[Link]
ng
achildisn'
teasy"It
hinkaboutS'
nqobi
[Link]
daughterdiedshediedtooandIdon'
tthinkwewil
l
evergetthatS'
nqobileback.
"
It
'[Link]
dI'l
lbether
etodaysoIhavet
odr
ivet
o
Mahlabathi
nir
ightnow"
"
Haveasafetr
[Link]
essedqui
ckl
y.I
'
ll
r
equestar
ide"
"
Noyouwon't.I
'
lldri
veyoumysel
[Link]
oldyou,
no
mor
erequest
edr i
des"hef
rowns.
"
Why?I
t'
seasyandsaf
e"waybet
tert
hent
aki
nga
t
axi
.
"Nowomanofmineist
aki
nganuber
.Forgeti
t"hi
s
voi
cei
sali
tt
leshar
pandIwonderwhat
'sabigdeal.
"Youar
eact
ingli
keamanr
ightnow"Il
ookaway
androl
lmyeyes.
"
Idoseet
hatandIdon'
tcar
ewhati
'
m act
ingl
ike.
Nouberandthat'
sfi
nal
.Here"hepul
lssomet
hing
onhi
spocketandhanditt
ome.I t
'sonl
ywhenit'
sin
myhandsthatIseei
t'
[Link].
"I
t'
smoney"I'm ali
tt
leoutofbreat
[Link]
gest
cashI'
veeverheldinmyhandsi soverR2000not
l
[Link]
'sevenabi
theavy.
"Yesit
'[Link]
[Link]
rdone.
Getamassageort aket
heki
dstothemoviesand
dinner
"Ist
areatthemoneyandlookathi
m.
"
It
'sal
otsofmoneyMl
uleki
"
"Ar
eyousure?Iwast
hinki
ngaboutaddi
ngagr
and
ortwo"hel
aughs.
"
Areyoupayi
ngmef
orsex?
"
Hi
slaught
erdi
esdownshar
ply.
"
What
?"
"[Link]
[Link] Isupposedt
othi
nk?
"I'
m
star
tingtofeeloutofbr
eat
h.
"
Phi
li
swa.I'
vebeengi
vingwomenmoneyforas
l
[Link]
eisnowayIcannever
giveyoumoneynowt hatyouar emygi r
lf
[Link]
's
notpaymentf oranythingjustsomemoneyt ospoil
yourself"hepul
lsmecl osertohim andpushmy
foreheadbackusinghi sforeheadbeforekissingmy
nose" [Link] eelbett
erifIgiveyoua
cardinstead?"
"
Acar
d?"
"
[Link]
ngthatyouswi
peont
he
machi
neinsteadofpayi
ngcash"
"
Iknowwhat
'sacar
d"Ir
ollmyeyes.
"
Doyouwantt
hati
nst
ead?
"
"
Ihavemyowncapit
eccard"Sur
e,i
t'
snotloaded
wit
hcashbuti
t'
[Link]
ngcard.
"
Connect
edt
oyourcel
lnumber
?"
Inodashel et'
smegoandpul louthisphoneonhis
[Link]
hemoneyont hebedandt ake
hislot
[Link]
atesont hepedest
alandI
reachforit
.It
'sabanknot
ifi
cati
on.
"I
'
llsendyoumoretomorr
[Link]
hinkyou
shouldhaveasavi
ngsaccount
.Savesomecashon
t
[Link] '
l
ltakeyoutomy
f
inanci
aladvi
sor
.I'
m sur
ehecangi veussome
i
deasonwhatwecani nvesti
n"
"Thanksf
ort
hemoney.I
'
llr
emindyou"Iputt
he
phonedownandsi
tdownbefor
eapplyi
ngthelot
ion
onmyar ms.
"Phi
li
"hegr
abstheottomanandsitsi
nfrontofme.
Iconti
nuet
oapplythelot
ionunti
lhegr
absmy
handsandpul
lthem oneachside.
"
I'
mli
steni
ng"
"
Arewegoi
ngt
ohaveapr
obl
em wi
tht
hemoney?
"
"No.I
'
mj ustnotusedtot hi
[Link]
met oget
usedtoit
"I'
m notlyi
[Link] venme
somuchmoneyj [Link]
eI
comefrom peopl
edon' tdothi
s.
"
Getusedtoitf
astbabygir
[Link]
i
ntendonspoil
ingyouandyourkids"hesmi
lesand
l
eansinforaki
[Link]
m halfwayandkissfor
amoment .
"
Thanks"Iwhi
sper
.
"Imeantitl
[Link]
oveyouandther
eisno
pressur
eMzi l
ikazi
.Whenyouar er
eadyyouwil
lsay
i
tback"hekissesmyl i
psagai
n.

*
****
****
*

Nqubeko

Ifi
nishmaki ngThembeka' sbreakfastandmakemy
owncof f
eebeforewat chi
ngthenewsabi t
.Dabula
andt hekidsarealreadygonef ortheday.
Thembekawokeupear l
yandgotever yoneready
beforegoingbackt obedf [Link]
questioneditshegavemeanevi leyeandIdecided
[Link] it
tl
eoffsoit'
s
besttoletthem be.
Myphoner
ingsandit
'sNot
hil
e.I
t'
swaytooearl
y
f
orhert
obecall
ingmebutIansweranyway.
"
Nqubeko"shesoundsoutofbr
eat
h.
"
Yes"
"Pi
nkycommi
tt
edsui
cidel
astni
ght
"shesays
qui
ckly.
"
Whoi
sPi
nky?
"Mymi
nddoesn'
tsnapi
ntopl
ace.
"
[Link]
egnantgi
rl
"shesnaps.
"What?I
ssheokay?
"igetupandt
aket
hecupt
othe
ki
tchen.
"
Shei
sdeadNqubeko"shei
syel
li
ng.
"
Sheki
ll
edher
sel
f?"
"
[Link]
ll
edher
sel
[Link]
ndoandIar
edrivi
ngto
Dur
[Link]
nyourhouse?"
"
No.I
'
minThembeka'
shouse"
"[Link]
[Link]
odosomet
hing
aboutt
hisNqubeko"
"It
houghtyouweregoi
ngtofi
xit
"iwasht
hecup
andsetitasi
deonthesi
nk.
"
AndItr
ied.I
t'
snotmyf aul
tthatshet
ookherown
l
if
eNqubeko"sheyel
ls.
"
YoumeanafteryouandLi
ndower
epressur
ingher
t
ohaveanaborti
on"iwi
pemyhandsontheclot
h
whil
ebal
anci
ngt
hephonebet
weenmyearand
shoul
der
.
"Iwastryi
ngt
obeapar
[Link]
supposedtodo?
"
"Thenbeaapar entandfixthi
soneaswel l
"Ican
hearherbangi
ngt hedri
vingwheel.I
tser
vesher
ri
[Link]
keIwast heenemyandshe
hadsoluti
ons.
"
Soyouaregoingtobeli
ket
hat
?"I
tsoundsl
ikeshe
want
stostar
tscryi
ng.
"Whatdoyouwantmet obel i
ke?Nothil
e,atsome
pointyouhavetolearnthatnotever
ythi
ngcanbe
control
[Link]"
"
Dad"saysLi
ndohi
svoi
cet
rembl
ing.
"Whenyouar ereadytoadmityourmist
akeand
wantstotakeresponsi
bil
it
ycallme"Iendthecal
l
aft
erthatandcallMlul
eki
.
"
Nqubeko"hesoundsl
ikehei
srunni
ng.
"
Areyouj
oggi
ng"
Ther
eismor
esoundandt
henamoan.
"
Damnyou"Iendthecallandstar
eatitf
ora
moment
.Mlul
ekiwil
lneverevergrowup.
Igot othebedroom [Link] s
sti
llsl
[Link]
isi
nglyshehastakenoffher
pyjamat opandkickedtheblanket
soffher
.It'
snot
thathotbutshelookssopeacef ul
.
Herphonestar
tsfl
icki
ngt
heli
ghtandIqui
ckl
ygrab
i
tbeforei
tri
ngs.I
t'
sClement
.Shehashisnumber
saved.
"Nottodaybuddy"imumblebef
oretur
ningt
he
volumedownandputt hephonedown.
Thembekacont i
nuest osnoreandIst andt herejust
[Link] [Link]
therapyseemstobehel pi
ngori t'
sbeing
surroundedbyhercousinst hatmakeshersocal m.
Somet imesIdolookatherandl ookatmysel fand
wonderwhyshest ayedwithme.I '
m notexact l
yt he
greatestl
overbutThembekaseemst ol oveme
evenwhenIdon' tseeanythingloveableinme.
Myphonestar
tsvi
brat
ingandIqui
ckl
yanswert
he
cal
lbef
orei
twakesherup.
"
Mbonambi
"it
'sMl
uleki
.
"
Youar
esuchabust
ard"webot
hlaugh.
"
Youcal
led"her
epl
i
esi
nbet
weent
hel
aughs.
"
Areyoudoneoryouwantt
ocont
inue?
"
"I
'
m [Link]'tapol
ogi
zeforthat
.Youcall
edand
[Link]'
sup?"IhearPhil
iint
he
backgr
ound.
"Myson'spregnantgirlf
ri
endcommi tt
edsuici
de.I
don'thaveal
ldetail
srightnowbutwhatIknowi s
thathewaspr essuri
nghert ot
erminateandshe
didn'
twantto.I'
mt hi
nkingofdragginghimtoher
familyandmakehi mt el
lthetr
uth"
"Andhaveherfamil
ywanti
ngtokil
lhimforit
?If
thatgir
lisAmandaandsomeboycomesovert o
[Link]
dyoulethi
m walkoutthe
door?"Heasks.
"
ProbablynobutwhatdoIdonow?Lethi
m hi
de?
"
Whereisthel
essonther
e.
"It
hinkknowi
ngt
hathei
ndi
rectl
yhelpedt
he
sit
uati
onwasapuni
[Link]
heryou
cant akehi
mtheret
opayhislastrespecttohi
s
gir
lf
riendandnotment
ioneveryt
hingelse"he
advises.
"
Andcompensat
ethef
ami
ly?
"
"
[Link]
fert
ohel
pwitht
heburi
alasaparent
t
oobutdon'
toff
ert
hem moneyasi
fyouarepayi
ng
f
oryourgui
lt
"
"[Link]
ndoisgetti
ngoutofhandsMlul
eki
.
Ireal
lyhopehel
ear
nsal essonsf
rom al
lthi
s"
"Heis15Nqubekoandlet
'snotactli
keNothi
lei
sa
ri
ghtper
soningener
al"I
'm notsur
pri
[Link]
eki
hatesal
lwomenI'
[Link]
keThembeka.
"
Don'
tgot
her
[Link]
ent
ingi
snoteasy"
"Forherit
'sprobabl
[Link] o
Mahlabathini
.Pinkyal
socommi t
tedsui
[Link]
[Link] 'sgoingon
withthesekids"
"
DidyousayPi
nky?
"Iaskj
ustt
obesur
e.
"
YesPi
nky"her
epeat
s.
"
Pinkyi
sLi
ndokuhl
e'
sgi
rl
fr
iendMl
uleki
"
Chapt
er78

Thembeka.

"I
'
m [Link]'
tlookatmeli
kethat
"It
ell
Clementwhil
eshovi
nganotherpot
atoi
nmymouth.
Hisfr
iendsl
aughandst opwhenIl
ookatt
hem.
"[Link]'tattend
thefuner
al.I
t'
snotli
ketheydecidedt
oj ustleave
youout"saysClementpushinghisgl
assesi npl ace.
"ButNot
hil
ecould?Shei
ndirect
lypushedhert
o
suici
deyouknow"Icont
inuetoyell
.
"Heredr
inksomejui
ce"sayst
hef
ri
endpour
ing
orangej
uiceont
heglass.
"Thanks"It
akethejui
ceandsipbutit
'ssosourI
havenochoicebuttospi
titbackout"JesusChr
ist
.
Whatt hehel
list
his?"
"Lemonjui
ce"saysCl
ementhandingmethegl
ass
ofwateri
nsteadandhi
sfr
iendtakingt
hel
emon
j
uice.
"
Ithoughti
twasor
angej
uice"Idr
inkmor ewater.
Mybabymustbewonder
ingwhatj usthappened.
"
Alexbringtheor
angej
uicepl
[Link]
inksweet
j
uice"call
soutCl
ement
.
"Okay"repli
[Link]
sAlexthatmeansthis
otherguyi sNdlel
[Link]
edt oaskwhythey
namedhi m withasurnamebutthenagainIfi
gured
Ishouldn'tdoanythi
ngtorui
nthisday.
"SoNdlel
[Link]
doyoudo? "Iasktryi
ngtogetthespotl
ightoffme
foramoment .I'
vebeenbitchi
ngaboutPinky'
s
funer
aleversinceIarri
vesandtheseguysletmebe.
"
IworkatUniversi
ty.I
'm alectur
[Link]
existheone
i
nbusiness"saysNdlelanotlookingof
fended.
"
Sor
ry"
Clementl
[Link]
handsarestai
nedwit
hfat
.Weareeati
ngoxki dneys
[Link]
exmadesomepotat
oesont he
si
dejusti
ncaseIdidn'
twantt
hedumplings.
"
It
'sf
ine.I
t'
sanhonestmi
stake"hel
aughs.
"Areyousqueezi
ngtheorangesint
her
e?"asks
ClementtoAlexwhohasn'tr
etur
nedfr
om the
kit
chen.
"YesIwas"RepliesAl
exhisvoi
cesoundingsodeep
"Freshl
ysqueezedjui
cefort
helady"hesmil
esand
putstheglassi
nf r
ontofme.
"[Link]"Itl
[Link]
ated
thegl
assandputonacol or
fulst
[Link]
sman
knowshowt oimpressaperson.
"
It
'scool
.Sorr
yaboutthelemon"hesi
tsdownnext
t
omeandpi ckuphisplat
e.
"
It
'sf
ine"It
akeasi
pandi
ttast
esj
ustasgood.
Myphonestar
tsri
ngi
ng.I
t'
sNqubekoandIwantto
i
gnor
ehim buthewil
lwor
ryandhemightevenst
art
maki
ngabigdealoutoft
his.
"
Yes"Ianswer
.
"MaKhumal [Link]
eyouokay?"Idon'thearpeople
singingoraPastorpr
eachi
[Link]
'snotevenmi dday
sot heycan'
tbedonealr
eady.
"
I'
mfi
[Link]
ethi
ngst
her
e?"
"Ast
heycanbeexpect
[Link]
asaysyouar
enot
[Link]
eareyou?"Hesoundsl
ikehei
swalki
ng.
"Iwenttovi
sitCl
ement
"Ibr
acemysel
ffort
he
yell
ing.
"
Aft
erIaskedyounott
o?"Hesoundscal
m.
"Iwasbor [Link] awaspl ayingout si
de
withtheki [Link] herapistwasn'tavailableforme
toblowof fsomest eam f orbeingexcludedf rom t
he
funeral"Ibringupt hefuner albecauseIr eal
ly
wantedt [Link]' tgoingt odigorcookordo
anythingthatmi ghtcauseanyt [Link]
wassi tti
ngt her
elisteningt osomesi nging,say
goodbyet oPi nkyandt hencomehome?Butno.I
hadt ostayandl ett hatwi t
chgowi thNqubekoand
thei
rkids.
"
Justgohomeandst
opact
ingl
ikeachi
ld"He
r
epl
iesshar
ply.
"Wel
li'
m bei
ngtreat
edl
ikeonesoImightaswel
l
.
Seeyouwhenyougetback"Iendthecal
landgo
backtoeati
ng.
"
Look"saysNdl
elat
urni
ngapi
eceofpapert
owar
ds
me.
Ican'
tbel
ievei
t.I
t'
[Link]
ledpi
ctur
eofme
wit
haphoneonmyear .
"
Youcandr
aw?
"It
aket
hepaperonhi
shands.
"[Link]
fulpeoplewhodoni ce
[Link]
ementt olduswhatyoudi d
forhim whenthatfamilywant edtotakeoverhi
s
things"hesayskindlyandIlookatCl [Link]
didn'tdeser
veitandIcouldn'tstandbackandjust
wat ch.
"Thoser
ott
enpeopl
[Link]
hem agai
n"
iadd.
"Theytr
iedtoapproachmyl awyerwant
ingt
oknow
i
ftheycanhaveacl aim onherthi
ngs.I
'
m notsur
e
i
ftheywi l
leverst
op"[Link]
sil
encepassesbeforeAlexspeaks.
"Nomor edepr
essi
ngtalkspeopl
[Link]
spl
aysome
videogames"hesuggests.

*
****
*
Phi
li

Thishasbeent hesaddestdayever .Wat ching

peopl ecryforPinkyandwonder ingwhatwoul dIdo
i
fitwasmeandCel i
[Link] nky'
smot herfainted
i
nchur chandshehast obecar riedout side.I
want edt ogohelpbutIwasf orcedt oremember
thatiam Ml uleki
'sgi rl
friendandIdi dn'twantt ogi ve
peopl esomet hi
ngt ojudgemef [Link]
alr
eadygi vi
ngmet he" youar elowcl ass"l ookfor
wear ingagr eendr essi nst eadofbl [Link] actI
thi
nkshehat edthatIcamet [Link] dn'tneedt o
sayi toutloudbutherf acesai dso.I nthecari twas
Me, Her ,NqubekoandLi ndowhodi dn'tsayone
wor dt [Link] ul ekiintheot herendonl y
gavemeanacknowl edgi ngnodwhenoureyesmet
andt henhecont inuedbei [Link] so
roll
edhi ssleevesandhel pedwi ththegr avedigging.
Nowever yonei
sleavi
ngandi
'
m wai
ti
ngneart
he
caral
ready.
"Phi
li
"avoicesnapsmeoutofmyt [Link]
ook
upandmyeyescan' tbel
ievei
t.I
t'
[Link]
schoolwi
[Link]
derandrich.
Helooksreal
lygood.
"
Mvel
o"Ican'
thel
pbutsmi
le.
"
Ithoughti
[Link]
[Link]
l
ookgood"hesmil
[Link]
icet
her i
ngonhis
f
[Link]
smarri
ed.
"
Youal
sol
ookgood"
"AndwhereisDabul
a?IsawJabul
il
etwodaysago.
Shesaidyouguysmoved"hel
eansagai
nstthecar
nextt
ome.
"WeliveinDur [Link] ahadtostaybehind
[Link] sfi
ne"him andDabulausedt o
chil
[Link]
stoodthei
r
fr
iendshipbutt henagainitwasn'tmi
netoquestion.
"Il
ivei
[Link]'
s
number"het
[Link]
akethe
phone.
"
Howi
syourmum?
"It
ypeDabul
a'
snumberand
handt
hephonebackt
ohi
m.
"Veryoldbutsti
llheal
thy.I
'
llt
[Link]
knowshel ovesyou"webot [Link]
verykindtous.
"
Shei
saki
ndwoman"
"
Shest
il
lis"Hesmilesandl
ookatmel
ikehewant
s
t
osaysomething.
"
What
?"
"
Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul"her
epl
iesshyl
y.
"
Iknow,
right
"someoneanswer
s.
Webothtur
naroundandI
t'
sMl
uleki
ont
heot
her
si
deofthecar
.
"Sor
ryIcoul
dn'thel
pit"heconti
nueswhi
letaki
ng
hisj
acketof
f"Ifi
guredit'
sprobabl
ycool
ernow"he
handsitt
ome.
"
[Link]
sisVel
[Link]'
sfr
iend"Ii
ntr
oduce
t
hem toavoi
dtheawkwardness.
"IknowVel
[Link]
swif
eislooki
ngforhiminthetent
"
saysMlul
eki
.Vel
adoesn'
tsayanyt
[Link]
wal
ksaway.
"
Okayt
hatwaswei
rd"Isayt
omysel
f.
"
Areyouokay?Sor
rywedi
dn'
ttal
kear
li
er"het
akes
myhandtohis.
"I
t'
[Link]?
"Ihaven'
t
seenthem t
alk.
"
Wewi
llbef
[Link]'
twor
ryabouti
t"
"
Howdareyou!!
"ther
eissomescr
eami
ngt
hat
f
oll
owsandthenchair
sfal
li
ng.
Peopl
earescr
eami ngandIcanhearNot
hil
e'
svoi
ce
i
[Link]
ingsomeone.
"Weshoul
dgoseewhat 'sgoingon"isuggest
becauseMl
ulekii
sjuststandi
ngthere.
"
No.I
thasnot
hingt
odowi
thus"hedoesn'
tmove.
IspotNqubekor
ushi
ngt
owar
dst
hecarwi
thLi
ndo
behi
ndhim.
"
What
'sgoi
ngon?
"iaskbef
oret
heyevengett
ous.
"Not
hil
eandherbigmouth"t
hat'
[Link]
ook
atMlul
ekiandhedoesn'
tsayanyt
hingatall
.
"
Sowearegoingt
oleaveherher
e?"AsksLi
ndo
l
ooki
ngl
ikeheisr
eadytocry.
"Thepoli
cear eonthei
[Link]
theyhurry"herepli
esandgetsinthecar
.Lindo
doesn'
tmovebutMl ul
ekiopensthepassangerdoor
andIfigureit
'sformesoIgetin.
"
I'
llcal
lyou"heki
ssesmycheek.
"
Wewi
llt
alk"saysNqubekoandMl
uleki
justnods.
"
Wecan'
tleavewi
thoutmah"saysLi
ndo.
Nqubekodoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadhest
art
sthecarand
dr
iveoffl
eavi
nghimthere.
Wedri
vesil
ent
lyatf
irstandIkeepexpect
inghi
mto
st
opbuthedoesn'
t.
"
[Link]?
"
"Nothil
einsultedanot
herwomani nther
[Link]
womangotpi [Link]
[Link]
todowasshutupandi gnoret
[Link] t'
syour
kidatfaultPhili
,Youkeepyourmouthshutand
all
owt hewr ongedparttodeci
[Link]
don'tgothereandat t
ackthem"heisyell
ingand
bangi
ngt hewheelsoIdeci
det
ojustnodandlet
hi
m [Link]
here
i
nonpi ece.
Chapt
er79

Thembeka

Iwakeupi nastr
[Link]
stIdon'
t
underst
andbutwhenIhearl aughterIr
emember.I
tookanapi nCl
ement'
shouseandt heyar
esti
ll
playi
ngvideogames.I
tfeelsli
keI'
vesleptway
l
ongerthananormalafter
noonnap.
"
Heyguys"Igr
eetwhenIj
oint
hem i
nthel
ounge.
"
Damnyouknowhowt
osl
eep"saysNdl
elapausi
ng
t
hegame.
"Pr
[Link]'
thelpi
t"
saysAlexr
emovi
ngt hepizzaboxont hecouch.
"Youguysshoul dhavewokemeup.I
'm st
arvi
ng.
Whatt i
mei si
t?"Iopenaboxont
hetabl
eandi t
's
sti
llwarm soIhelpmysel
f.
"
Iwishallgi
rl
swer
eli
[Link],
nof
uss"says
Ndl
ela.
"I
t'
saft
[Link]
uicewi
tht
hat
?"Says
Clement
.
"
WhywouldIfuss?I
t'
sjustpi
zza"Irepl
ywi
tha
mout
hful"
11?Asin11pm? "Iswall
ow.
"
Yes11pm"saysCl
ementpour
ingj
uice.
"Whydi dn'
tyouguyswakemeup? "Iputdownthe
pizzaandt [Link]
mi ssedcal l
sfrom [Link] snoback
yet" Ihavet ogo"It
akethejuiceanddrinktodown
thepi zzathat'
sstart
ingtofeell
ikelar
gestoneson
myt hroat.
"
I'
lldr
iveyou"of
fer
sCl
ement
.
"
Thanks"Iputonmyshoesandt
akeanot
hersl
ice.
I
'
lleati
nthecar.
"
Itwasreal
lyni
[Link]
l
wit
[Link]
imei'
llevenl
etyouwi
n"saysAlexgivi
ng
meahug.
"
Nextt
imei
'
llber
eadyandi
'
llst
artpr
act
isi
ngas
soonasIgethome"NqubekoboughtaPlaySt
ati
on
fort
heki
ds.I'
l
lchecki
fit
'sthesameornot.
"
Visi
[Link]"saysNdl
elaal
sogi
vingmeahug.
"
Iwi
ll
.Thankyousomuchguys"
"
[Link]
ort
aki
ngcar
eofhi
m"saysNdl
ela.
"
Anyti
[Link]"Iwal
ktot
hedoorwi
thCl
ement
f
oll
owing.

*
****
***

IaskClementt
otakemetoNqubeko'
shousesohe
canfi
ndmet her
eli
keanobedi
entgir
lf
ri
end.
"
Doyouwantmetocomei
nwi
thyou?
"Heasks
whenIopent
hegat
e.
"
Yespl
ease"
[Link]
ock
andturnontheout
sidel
ightbef
oretur
ningthe
l
oungel i
ghton.
"Thankyousomuch"It
urnt
hel
ighti
nthepassage
andthekit
chen.
"
Noprobl
[Link]"
wehugbefor
[Link]
andoutsi
deandwai
t
f
orhi
mt odri
veoutbefor
eclosi
ngthegat
e.
Ilockthedoorandt urnont heTVbeforegoi
ngto
[Link]
snof oodi nt
hishousesoIdri
nk
somej ui
[Link]
somet [Link] rai
ght
tovoicemailwhichexpl ai
nst hel
ackofcall
[Link]
musthaveal [Link]
andgot hebedroom.
Myheartalmostst
opswhenitur
nont heli
ghtand
Nqubekoislayi
ngonthebedst
arr
ingatthecei
li
ng.
"Youal
mostgavemeaheartat
[Link]
werenotbackyet
"Hi
scari
snotoutsideandhi s
phoneisoff
.
"
Icamebackar
ound3"her
epl
ieswi
thoutl
ooki
ngat
me.
"[Link]?
"nowt
hisi
sawkwar
d.
Ididnotexpectt
hisatall.
"Yeswedi
[Link]
ewer
eyouThembeka?
"Hesi
ts
up.
"Iwaswit
hCl ement
.Ifel
lasl
eepandoversl
ept
"
nowthati'
m sayi
ngitoutl
oudIcanhearhowbadi
t
sounds.
"
Whyar
eyouher
e?"
"
What
?"
"
Thi
sismyhouseandyouarri
vei
nt hemi
ddleof
t
henight
.Why?
"Hi
svoicedoesn'
tsoundcal
m atal
l.
"Ididn'
tmeantostayther
eunt i
llat
[Link]
playingvi
[Link]
edandIslept
.Itwas
meantt obeaquicknap..
..
"
"
Getout
"hecut
smeof
f.
Ist
areathi
m notunderst
andi
ngwhati
[Link]
outi
nthebedroom orl
eavehi
shouse.
"
NqubekoI
..
..
."
"Isaidgetout
.LeavemyhouseThembeka"heget
s
offthebedandIruntot
hedoor.
"
Icanexpl
ain"
"Explainwhat ?Thatyouhavenor espectforme?
Whatpr egnantwomant hatgoesar
oundvi si
ti
ng
menshedoesn' tevenknowandbedumbenought o
fal
lasl [Link] o
explain?!!
"Ifl
inchwi t
heachwor dhesays.
"
ItwasCl
ementandhi
s..
..
"
"Isai
dgetout!!
"Hepi cksupsomethi
ngandir unoff
beforehecanthrowi [Link] t
outsidebef
orehet ossesmyhandbagandshoes
[Link] st
helasti
tem t
ofol
lowand
i
tlandsont [Link]
tupandthescreenis
creaked.
"
Pleaseleavemyhouse"heshoutswhil
eopening
t
[Link]'[Link]
eam isupposedtogo
t
hislat
e?Ididn'tbr
ingmycaroverandt
herei
sno
wayicanwal khome.
"[Link]'
tmakemedragyououtt
hisgat
e
myself
"hewalksoutandIqui
ckl
ygrabmythi
ngs
andrunout.
Hest
opsfol
lowi
[Link]
hinkabout
r
unni
ngbackinbef
orei
tclosesshutbutsomething
t
ell
smenott
otestNqubekosoIst
op.
Hegoesbacki nsideandcl [Link]
l
atert heli
ghtsareof f
.Tearsfil
lmyeyeswhenisee
thebedr oom li
ghtalsogoof faft
erfewmi nutes.I
l
ookar oundandther [Link] r
eetsli
ghts
andt [Link] buthi
sphonei s
sti
[Link]
yDabulaandhi sphonei [Link]
y
Philiandsheanswer saft
erawhi le.
"
Thembeka"
"[Link].I
needhimtocomepi ckmeup"Ifakeanormalvoi
ce
soidon'
tfreakherout
.
"
Pickyouupwher
e?"Shei
sst
il
lsl
eepyIcanheari
t.
"
InNqubeko'
[Link]
ight
"
"
ButNqubekot
ookyourcar
"
"
Tookmycart
owher
e?"
"
Idon'
[Link]
ivedandt
ookkeysandt
hecar
.
I
sthecarnott
her
e?"
"
It
'snot
.Wellmaybei
t'
sint
hegarage"i
tdoesn'
t
[Link]
dhetakemycarorisit
becausehepai
dfori
t?
"Maybeiti
[Link]
ekit
ocomegetyou?
HeistheonlypersonIknowwithacar
"she
suggest
s.
"
Pleasedo"
"
Okay"sheendst
hecal
l.
Imoveclosert
ot hegat
esoanyonewal
kingdown
thest
reetcan'
tspotmeeasi
l
yintheshadow.
Phi l
icallsaf terfewmi nutesandsaysMl uleki
's
phonei sof f
.Thecal lgetscutof fint hemi ddl
eof
theconver sat i
[Link] terypi ckedt histimet or un
out .Itrytot urnthephoneonbuti tonlydoesf or10
secondsi nfor mingmet hatt hereisnobat t
erylif
e.
Nowi t'
saper f
ecttimef ormet opani [Link]
er
mi ddnightnowandIdoubtanyonewoul dopenf or
mei fistartbangi ngt [Link] ygat eleftt o
bangi sNqubeko' sgat esoIt akemyshoesof fand
star thi
tti
ngt [Link] lmyst rengthandi t
takesl esst han5mi nut esf ortheopposi te
neighbourt ot urntheirislight [Link] i
nueunt il
themancomesoutandappr oachhi sowngat e.
"[Link]
yingt
osl
eep"i
t'
sawhi
teman.
Ihopeheisnotcar
ryi
ngagun.
"I
'
m [Link] sof
fandi '
mt r
yingtowake
him up"Iexpl
[Link] ooksannoyedbuthe
wavesmeover .Iwalkacrossashehol dsouthi
s
phone.
"
Cal
lhi
m"
"Thanks"idi
alNqubeko'
snumberandhi
sphonei
s
sti
llof
[Link]
lPhi
li
.
"Hell
o"shedoesn'
tsoundl
ikeshewentbackt
o
sleepaft
ermycall
.
"I
t'
[Link] equestari
deformepl ease.
Nqubekol ockedmeoutandmyphonei soff.I
'm
usingtheneighbour'
sphone.I'
mrightoutsi
dethe
[Link]"
"
Okay"
"
ThanksCuz"iendt
hecal
landr
etur
nthephone.
"Whatki
ndofper
sonl
ocksapregnantwomanout
i
nthemi ddl
eoft
heni
ght
?"Asksthemantaki
nghi
s
phone.
"Heisbeingsel
fi
[Link] n
i
sgettingmear i
de"nowI'
m hol
dingmybr eat
hthat
themandoesn'tgobackinsi
deunti
lther
idegets
here.
Thedooropensagainandawomancomesout .She
i
sspeakingAfri
kaansandIhavenoideawhatshe
i
[Link] epl
iest
oherinAfr
ikaansas
wel
[Link]
lyt
heyaretal
kingaboutme.
Theirconversat
iongoesonunt
iliheart
heword
pol
[Link]
[Link] i
cethi
s
andlookatmet oo.
"
Youar
ecal
li
ngt
hepol
ice?
"
"I
t'
sthemiddleofanight.I
'
veneverseenyoubef ore
andthathousedoesn'
tlookli
ket hereisanyonei
nit
.
Howdoweknowyouar enotlyi
ng? "asksthe
womanswi tchi
ngbacktoEngl i
sh.
"I
'
vecall
edf orari
[Link]'tknowme.I
al
sodon'[Link]'m nother
ecausing
tr
oubl
[Link]"
"
Stopyel
li
ng"sayst
heman.
"
I'
m notyel
li
ng"
"Backhome?it
houghtyoul
ivet
her
e"shepoi
ntst
he
house.
"[Link] etoseeNqubeko
andhewant stobeabastar
daboutit
"Icl
ickmy
tongueandlookdowntheroadhopi
ngtoseean
approachi
[Link]
ueli
ght
sinst
ead.
"
Youcal
ledt
hepol
ice?
"
"
[Link]
lldealwi
thyou.I
t'
sabadwor
ld"says
t
hewomanl i
keshehadnochoice.
"Mcm"Ir unacr osst
heroadandstarthit
ti
ngthe
gateyell
ingtoNqubekot ol
etmei nbeforethe
poli
cegether [Link]
nsdar [Link]
'm
goingtojai
[Link]
nki
ngaboutitmakesmest ar
t
sobbing.
Chapt
er80
Shor
tchapt
er

Nqubeko.
Iwai tuntilthewat chstrike6bef oret aki
ngashower .
Ineedahotshowert hatwi llwakemeupcompl ete
becausei tf eelslikei'
m hal fawakeandhal fasleep.
Thewat eri stoohotandIl etitburnmyski nabi t
.I
needsomepai nt oforgetaboutever ythi
ngf ora
moment .Li ndohavi ngahandi nMl uleki
'sniece's
[Link] hil
ebei nginvol vedt ooandbei ngt oo
proudt oadmi [Link] l
ywant i
ngt opress
chargesandMl ulekibeingqui eti
nt hemi ddl eofit
all
.Hei smyvoi ceofr easonandIt hi nkhecoul dbe
their
st oosor ightnowhei st hemi ddl [Link]
topal lt
hatIhavet odealwi thThembekawho
refusest obeanadul tjustf oral i
tt
lewhi l
e.
It
urnofthewat erandst
[Link]'
tevenbot
her
makingsurei'
m dryIsi
mplegetdressedandgr
ab
[Link] ir
stcal
list
[Link]
i
mmedi at
ely.
"Sheissti
llf
[Link]
eepingwarmlyinacellwi
tha
sleepi
ngbagandt hereisahalfeat
enhotdognext
[Link]"saysFakudesoundi
ng
l
ikeheisreadingascr i
pt.
"I
'
m [Link]"Isear
chf
ormycar
andhousekeys.
"Sur
e"theli
negoesdeadaf t
[Link]
hercal
l
toMncedisi
.Hedoesn'tanswerri
ghtawayli
ke
FakudebutIwaitpat
ient
ly.
"
Nqubeko"heanswer
satl
ast
.
"
Didyouf
indi
t?"
"YesIdi
[Link]
ngmaj orandi
t'
sallf
ixed.
Ievenchangedthet
yresli
keyouasked"iowethis
mansomer ealmoneyforchecki
ngThembeka'scar.
Leavi
ngituptoheri
suselessifshecandri
vewith
somesquickysoundfordaysandnotevennoti
ce
them.
"I
'
llsendyourpaymentandsendsomeonet
opi
ck
upthecar"
"
Nopr obl
[Link]"heendsthecal
[Link]
eastwit
h
t
hecaringoodconditi
onitmeansnomor e
wor
ryingaboutt
hosekidsri
dingi
teverydaytoand
f
rom school
.
Imakeat
ransf
erqui
ckl
yandspotmykeysunder
thet
abl
[Link]
ei'
m evenoutthe
door
.It
'sNot
hil
[Link]
dn'
tlockherup.
"
What
?"i
'
m notf
eel
ingf
ri
endl
ytoday.
"IthinkLi
ndor
anaway"shesoundsl
ikeshei
s
crying.
"Heiswit
hMlul
eki.I
fyouweren'tbusybeingall
bossyyouwoul
dhavenoticedthathedidn'tsl
eep
i
n"Iendthecal
lbefor
eshesayssomet hingelse.
Thephoner
ingsagai
nandi
t'
sPhi
linow.
"
HiNqubeko"
"HiandI
'
m onmywayt
opi
ckupThembekai
nthe
poli
cest
ati
on"
"
Shei
sinj
ail
?"
"[Link]
[Link]
[Link]'
tworry
aboutit
"thelastthingIwanti
[Link]
s
wasaj ustapracticall
essonf
orThembekanot
them.
"
Sot
hepol
icer
eal
lyt
ookher
?Butyousai
d..
..
."
"
Don'
twor
ryPhi
li
.Wewi
llt
alkwhenIgett
her
e.I
havet
ogo"
"Okay"shehesi
tant
[Link]
uleki
hasn'tspokent
oher.
Il
ockthedoorandrusht
[Link]'
twantt
obe
l
ateandhavetoanswert
oReedorNtuli
.

*
****
***

Thetr
iptot
hepoli
cestati
ontakesmeover20
minut
[Link]
indt
woladiesint
hef r
[Link]
st
areatmeandIrememberFakudesayi ngtheyare
bri
ngi
ngtwopeopl
[Link]'
sthem.
"Morni
ng"Igreett
hem andthatmakesthem snap
outofit
.Onelooksembarrassedandtheot
her
pret
endstobeputti
ngawaysomepaper sbef or
e
sherepl
ies.
"I
'
m her
etoseeFakude"Isaywi
thapl
easantsmi
le
onmyface.
"
Mbonambi
"saysFakudebef
oreheevenappear
s.
"Br
[Link]
eisThembeka"Iexpectt
oseeher
behindhi
m buthei
sal
one.
"
Int
her
e"hepoi
ntsbehi
ndhi
m.
Iwalktohim [Link]
kto
doorandleadsmet oanot
herar
eawit
hbars.
"
Thembeka"Ical
lout
.
"Nqubeko"sherepl
iesandIhurr
ydownt heli
ttl
e
[Link]
ockedbut
sheissit
ti
ngont hesleepi
ngbaghuggingherself
.
"
MaKhumal o"Idr
optomykneesandt hr
owsher sel
f
t
omebef oreshestar
tssobbi
[Link] obe
apract
icalexperi
[Link]
dn'tseeisher
l
ookingthisfri
ght
ened.
"I
'
m sosor r
ymyl ove"Iwhi
sperrepeat
edl
yasshe
conti
nuestosobi nmyarmsherhandsare
pract
ical
lydiggi
ngintomyskin.
"
Issheokay"someoneasksbehi
ndme.
Inodwit
houtsayi
[Link]
uthisIfeell
ike
adogri
[Link]
hert
hatIdon'
tli
kethereckl
essness.
"Let
'sgohome"Iwhispertr
yingt
opul lherof
fmeso
[Link]'tl
etgoatfi
rstbutaft
era
[Link] eabi
t
swollen.
Imanagetogetupandpul
ledherupwi
[Link]
shei
sstandi
ngshelet
'sgoofmeandwipehereyes.
"Didtheyhur tyou?"shel ooksfi
[Link]
Fakudecl earinstr
[Link] i
ngherand
Fakudeassur edmet hatshedidn'tevenputupa
fi
[Link] ustdidn'
tment ionthatshelooksso
fri
ghtened.
Sheshakesherheadandputherhandonmyarm
forsupport
.Iwr
apmyarmsar oundherandr
epeat
howsor r
yIam.

Weleavet hestat
ionaf t
erhavingthr
eeof fi
cer
s
confi
rm shewasn' [Link]
can'
[Link] i
vesi l
ent
lyunti
lwer eachhome
andshedoesn' tmoveatal l
.Igetoutandwal kto
hersi
det ohelpherout .Wewal khandandhandt o
thehouseandshest andswithoutdoinganythi
ng.I
ki
ckt
hedoorcl
osedandst
andi
nfr
ontofher
.
"
Pleaset
alkt
omeThembeka"
Shebli
nksafewt
imesandthent
earsst
artf
all
ing
agai
[Link]
msaroundherandholdherti
ght
.
"Iwassoscar
ed"shewhi
sper
shervoi
cesoundi
ng
hoarse.
"[Link] upi
[Link]
ryi
ngt
oscar
e
[Link]
dn'thavedoneit
"
Shepull
sawaywhenmyphonest ar
tsri
nging.I
t'
s
[Link]
mtogetThembeka'
scarfr
om the
gar
age.
"Yourcari
sher
[Link]
ngnoi
sei
sfi
xed"It
ell
herbutshegi
vesmeabl ankl
ook.
"It
[Link]
dyoubeforeIlef
tyest
erday.
Youwer eyel
li
ngaboutbeinglef
taloneandItold
youI'l
lbesendi
ngt hecari
nbecauseIhatethe
noiseitwasmaking"shedoesn'
tseem recal
l.
Igr
abt
heremoteandopent
hedoor
.Qhudedri
ves
i
nandImeethi
m hal
fwaywi
thmyowncarkeys.
"
I'
llcomegeti
tmysel
f"Ihandhi
mthekeysandt
ake
Thembeka'
s.
"Sureboss"[Link]
oset
he
gatebehindhim andgobacki
[Link]
breaksintol
it
tl
epieceswhenIf
indThembeka
standi
ngi nt
hesamespot.
"
[Link]
easef
orgi
veme"Ibeg.
"
CanIgot
obed?
"
"[Link]
hingyouwant
"Ir
epl
yqui
ckl
yand
holdherhandwhenshewalkstot
hebedr
oom.
Ihadadi ff
[Link] egoi
ng
totalkaboutthi
s,shewasgoi ngtoyell
,sul
kfora
whileandthenlaughabouthowsi l
lyi
[Link]
wewer egoingtof i
ndawayt ogethertost
opbeing
reckl
essaboutt hi
[Link]'
timagineherbei
ngthi
s
heartbr
oken.
Shecr
awl
sint
obedandIgeti
nnextt
oher
.
"Doyouwantsomethingtoeat
?"Iaskandshe
shakesherheadqui
cklybef
oreshelaysheheadon
myar m.
"
[Link]
ustangr
[Link]
ustwant
edyout
olear
n
somel
[Link]
dn'
tmeant
omakeyoul
iket
his"
Sheshi f
[Link] shI
cansayi tmakesmef eelbett
erbutitdoesn'
t.
Thembekacansl eepinmyar msandaskmef ora
divor
ceanhourl at
[Link],
thisti
meshedoesn' t
evenhavet oaskf [Link]
andtellmetonevercal lheragain.
Chapt
er81

Phi
li

Itr
yThembekaagai
nandherphonei soff
.I'
vet
ried
Nqubekoandhedoesn'
tansweratall
.Thenext
opti
onist
ocallMl
uleki
.Hi
sphoneringsto
voi
cemail
.
"
Sti
llnot
hing?
"AsksDabul
asi
tt
ingdownopposi
te
me.
"
Nothing.I
'
m..
..
."Myphonest
art
sri
ngi
ngandi
t'
s
Mlul
eki.
"
Mbul
azi
"
"
[Link]
il
lcan'
tfi
ndThembekaandImanagedto
f
indNqubekoearli
erbutnowhei
snotanswer
ing"
"Theyar
[Link]
dsheissleepi
ng"it
soundsli
keheisinalargeandemptyplace.
"
[Link]
ear
eyou?
"
"I
'
m athomebuti'm goi
ngoutinashor
twhi
[Link]
youneedanyt
hing?"Ihearvoi
ces.
"
[Link]
eyoual
one?
"
Therei
sapausebef
oreherepl
ies"No.I
'm notal
one.
I'
m wit
hLi
ndoandi'
m goi
ngtodrivehi
m backto
uLundi
"
"
[Link]
nki
'm goi
ngt
oseeThembekai
n
Nqubeko'
shouse"
"
I'
llsendacarf
[Link]
li
"I
wonderwhatuberdi
dtohi
m.
"
Okayfine"I
t'
snotuseargui
ng.I
'
m st
art
ingt
othi
nk
Mlul
ekiisacont
rolf
reak.
"Heshoul
dbether
einthenext30mi
nut
esorso.
Callmewhenhearr
[Link]?
"
"Iwil
[Link]"Iendthecal
landputthephonedown.I
turntoDabula"Thembekaissleepi
[Link]
ulekii
s
headingtoULundiwithLindoandheissendinga
cartopickmeupbecausehedoesn' twantme
ridi
nganuber "
Dabul
alaughsabi
tandl
ooksatme.
"
Andyoudi
dn'
tthr
owaf
it
?"
"
Aboutwhat?"i
'm notaf
itt
hrower.I
'dl
iket
obel
ieve
t
hati
'm anextr
emelycal
m person.
"Him dict
atingyourmovement [Link]
wouldhavet akenanuberjustbecauseshewant s
to"Ican'texactlyt
ellhi
mthatMl ul
ekididthingsto
mewhenIt [Link] i
ll
sati
sfiedsoIdon' twantanypunishmentj ustyet
.
"Idon'
[Link]'
mtir
edofbeingdi
ff
icul
tor
[Link]
usIhaveot
hert
hingsinmyhead"I
grabacushionandhugit
.
"Suchas?"hetur
nstofacemeandpl
aceanot
her
cushiononhisbandedknee.
"
Heof
fer
edt
ohel
pmewi
thwaysofmaki
ngmoney.
Hement i
onedani
nvest
[Link]
emy
ki
dsinheri
tsomet
hingi
nthefut
[Link]
'mthi
nking
aboutt
hat"
"
Andhaveyoudecided?
"heaskshistoneremai
ning
t
[Link]
nki
ngof
measagolddigger
.
"
Idon'
tknowhowt odecideorwhatt odeci
de.I
meanI'
veneverhadar ealj
[Link]
c
wasbadandnowIj ustdon'tknow"
"Soyouwantt ogobackt oschool?"I'
venever
thoughtaboutgoingbackt oschool
.Yearsbehind
thedeskseemsl i
keadr [Link]
'mtoooldto
begoingbackt oschooltofixMatri
candthenmor e
yearstostudyforaqualif
icati
on.
"I'
[Link]'
dli
ketoearnali
[Link]'
t
[Link]' tj
ustbe
happytohaveMl ul
ekiwant
ingtoi
nvestonmyki ds.
Ifhechangeshismindthenwhat?"
"Fi
rstthi
ngfi
[Link]
[Link]
ll
rewri
teyourMat r
[Link]
termar
ksandther
eisno
agelimiti
nUniversit
[Link]
egothereaft
er
reachi
[Link] aduat
[Link]
getabout
[Link]
[Link]
usnoonecantake
educati
onf r
om youonceyouhavei
t"headvi
ses.
"
Iknowbhut
[Link]
heki
ds?I
fIgoback
t
oschool
"
"Theyareatschoolt
oo"hesoundsl
ikehemi
ght
add'duh'i
ntheend.
"
Iknowbut
..
..
"
"[Link] [Link]
studyanddowhat everyouwantwithyourlif
[Link]
knowPhiliIusedtostayupallni
ghtandwonder .
Like,
whyus?Whynow?Whyl iket
[Link]
[Link] d? "
Ishakemyheadandwai
tfort
hist
ocont
inue.
"[Link]
ti
esli
feoff
ersyou
[Link]' t
wakeuponedayandwi shyouhadusedall
opportuni
ti
[Link]
stenedandthat
'swhatIpl
anon
doingPhil
i.I
'm goi
ngt oworkandstudyanddo
everyt
hingelseIneedtodosoonedayIdon' tl
ook
backandwi shIhad"
[Link]
inues.
"Thesepeopl
ecamet
oourli
vesf
[Link]
camewhenweneededthem t
hemost
"
"Thanksbhuti
.Letmegogetr eadybefor
et heguy
getshere"Ist
andupandt [Link] ais
ri
[Link]
[Link]
art
ingwith
savingsaccount
sformyki ds.

*
****
***

Thembeka.

NqubekoshakesmeawakeandIhol dhimti
ghtasa
[Link]
ti
ngto
scream outl
[Link]
fbutIwasn'
t
abletowakemyselfupunt i
lhewokemeup.
"
It
'sabaddr
eam"her ubsmyar m whi
leIbur
y
mysel
fonhi
[Link]
wipei
tonhi
sshi
rt.
"IthinkIneedfood"Ipul
lmysel
foffhi
m buthe
stopsmysel f
.I'
m nothungr
[Link]
siscall
edcomfor
t
eatingandIneedi t
.
"
I'
llmakesomet
hingqui
ck"heof
fer
s.
"I
'
m cr
avinginhl
okonedombol
o(cow'
sheadand
dumpl
ings)"
"Okay.I
'
llgogetsomef oryou"heget
[Link]
headdownont hepill
owandcl [Link]
memor yofthedream comesbackandIopenmy
eyesquickl
y.
Nqubekot akeshi sphoneandl [Link]
headadoorcl osebef [Link]
chargeditandl oadedai rt
[Link] omusi cplayer
andplaythel [Link] [Link]
hel
pst okeept hequi [Link] eali
zed
thi
sbef or
ebutaf t
ertheni ghtinthatplaceIreali
zed
Ihatethequi [Link]'tevenhum asongt o
[Link] yandcr ysil
entl
y
becauseIcoul dn'tscream myf r
ustrat
ionandf ear.
ThesongendsandIpl
ayanotherwhil
egoi
ngtot
he
l
oungeforl
oudermusi
[Link]
ay
i
tloud.
Istartsi
ngi
ngalongtosomer andom wor dsasI
takeabroom andsweept [Link]
upsoImovet otheki
tchenandsweept hekitchen
[Link] ngthefl
oorandmopt heoutsi
de
ereaintheki
tchen.
Myphoneri
ngsj
[Link]
pemy
handsonmyski
rtandanswert
hecall
.
"
I'
m out
[Link]
etmei
n?"I
t'
sPhi
li
.
"Sur
e"Iopenthegateforherandwaitatt
hedooras
shegetsoutofthecarandwalksi
[Link]
doesn'
tdri
veawaybutshegoesbackandsays
somethi
ngtothedriverbef
orehedri
vesoff.
"It
hinki
'm dat
ingmyf
ather
"shel
aughsasshe
hurr
iesover.
"
Why?
"
Shedoesn'
trepl
yunti
lshei
scl
oserandst
art
s
fr
owningatt
henoise.
"
Whysol
oud?
"
"
I'
m cl
eani
[Link]
eyoucal
li
ngMl
ulekiyour
f
ather
?Whowast
hatguy?
"Igobacki
nsi
deandshe
f
oll
ows.
"Mluhat
esuber .[Link]
[Link]
lyneededtoseeyou...
..
goshi'
m yel
li
ng.
Canwet urnitdown?"Shepicksuptheremote.I
nodandwat chasshet ur
nitoffcomplet
ely.
"Idon'tt
hinkhehat
est
heuber
.It
hinkhehat
est
he
driver
s"
"Heisdramat i
[Link]
[Link] eyou?
Yourfacelookspuffyl
ikeyou'vebeencr
ying"hand
act
uallyreachesoutandtouchmyf ace.
"
Ihadsomebaddr eams.I'
mfinenow.I'
m cl
eani
ng
t
hefr
[Link]"Idon'twantt
ositst
il
l.
Shefol
lowsandIt
aket
hemopt
ocont
inuemopi
ng
thear
ea.
"Anypar
ticul
arreasonwhyyouar
emopi
ngout
side
atthi
sti
meoft heday?"
"I
twasdi
rt
yandi'
m wai
ti
ngf
orNqubekot
ocome
backwi
thmyfood"
Shenodsandgoesqui
[Link]
inuequi
etl
ybut
i
nsi deI 'm notsilentatal l.I'
m askingmysel fwhyme.
Whydot hesethingshavet ohauntmel i
ket [Link]
doal l thebadt hingshavet [Link]
alwaysagoodgi r l
.Ilistenedwhenspokent o.I
cleanedever ythingt hatneededcl eani
[Link]
ever ydi r
tyclotheandt riedmybestt obean
obedi entchi l
dbuti [Link] om bei ng
toldtoshutupt obei ngr emi ndedIhadnot hi ng.
From t hewhi ppingt ot hesi lenttr
eatmentInever
knewwhi chonewasbet [Link] imesIwi shed
theywoul dyellandl eti [Link] i
mesIwi shed
awhi ppingcoul [Link] i
mesI
want ednot hi
ngbutIgotsomet hi
ngallthet i
me.I
thoughtIf orgotal ltheset hi
ngsbutIdi dn't
.Ij ust
pushedt hem t ot hebackofmyheadandt old
mysel fI'
vemovedonf rom al loft
hem.
"
Thembeka!
!"
Phil
i'
sfri
ghtenedvoicesnapsmeoutofi [Link]
i
[Link] hefl
oorandthe
moponmyot [Link]
ingwit
hthe
i
nternalconfr
ontati
onIhitthewindowwithmyfist
andnowt hepai nisset
tl
ingin.
"Whyme?Whyabusemel iket his?Inevert oohi s
[Link] dI?Idi dn'tevenknowwhatR200
l
ookedl [Link] dIt akei [Link] dn'ttheybeat
meupf [Link] i
ngwoul dhavehel ped.I twoul d
havebeenaqui ckpunishmenti nsteadofl ocking
mei nt
oar oom f ort
wodayswi [Link] ght
i
twassodar [Link]'tseeanyt hi
ngandmyvoi ce
[Link] dn'tcryoutl [Link] aggedme
ther
eandl ockedmei nsidef ort [Link] thout
foodorwat [Link] y11year sold"Ifeel
Nqubeko' shandsar [Link]' tsay
anythi
ngbuthol dsmet [Link] imeshedoes
hurtmebutwheneverIt hinkaboutsaf ety,heismy
safeplace.
Chapt
er82

Nqubeko.

Thembeka'shandiscoveredbyawhitebandage.
Theyhadtost i
tchherhandandsaidherbones
wereabitcreakedsoitwil
ltaket
imetoheal.I
boughtherapi nksli
ngt hi ngt orestherhandbutwe
allknowi tdoesn' tmatterr [Link]' t
takent hepil
lsbecauset heywi l
lmakehersl eepbut
shecan' tsl
eepyet .Notbef oreshetalkstoDr
[Link] '
st hethingaboutl oadedshel vesin
[Link] heybur stopenyoucannever
shoveever ythingbackandshutt hem [Link]
needt oopent hem up, sor tt hem [Link]
awaysomet hingst oeasyt heloadandonce
everythinglooksneatagai n,onlythenyoucanpush
them closedandhopet heydon' tburstopenany
ti
[Link] eherer ightnowwai tingfor
Thembekat oopenheral r eadyopenshel vesand
startsorti
ngt hingsout .
Sheaskedmet ocallDrNgcoboandIdi [Link]
offeredhersomepr ivacysheaskedmet ostay.
Opposi t
emet her
eisPhi l
iwhohasn'tstopped
cryingeversinceIfoundherpani cki
ngwhi letryi
ng
tost opThembeka'sout [Link] o
tr
yt ocalm downDrNgcobosai dIshouldletherbe.
Shesai dfrom ti
met otimei t
'simpor
tanttoallow
peopl et
ocr yforaneventthatneedst hentocr y.I
t
l
et'
stheemoti
onsoutinst
eadofbur
yingt
hem i
n.I
di
dn'tar
guesoIdeci
dedtohol
dtheboxofti
ssues
cl
osetoherwhensheneedsanewone.
"Therearesomanyt hi
[Link]'tknow
wher etobegin"shesayssoftl
[Link]
herher
i
ntomyar msandf eelherhandsaroundmebutI
don'[Link] swatchingmel i
keahawk
soIsi tst
il
landwait.
"Youcanst artanywayyouli
[Link] eheret
o
l
isten"saysDrNgcobocal [Link]
[Link]
nkshemi ghtber
emindingherofher
grandmot her
.
"SometimesIusedt othi
nkI'veimagi nedit
.Likeit
didn'
thappenbutt henIwoul df eelit
.Thebruises
[Link] i
ngingpainwhenIbat horsi t
[Link] imeswhenIt akemycl othesoffthey
wouldstickandi twouldbepai nfultopullt
hem of f.
Somet i
mest her
ewoul dbebl oodsomet imes
nothi
ngj ustpain"shestopsandswal [Link]
ilet'
s
outasobandIpusht heboxt owar [Link] akes
anothertissueandbl owhernose.
"Onedayhet i
edmeonabedpostandpl aced
somet hi
ngonmymout [Link]'tclosemyj aws
andt hewholet i
met hat
'[Link]
j
awwoul dlockandIwoul dn'
tbeabl etochewand
[Link]'[Link]' tall
owedt ocr ysoI
stayedsil
enceandt houghtaboutmymout hunt i
lI
wokeupwetanddi rt
[Link] t
edont hef loorand
peedonmysel fbutIdon' tknowwhathappenedi n
[Link] dIhadl etthegoatsoutt ooear ly
andt heyat
ehi spl antat
ion"shepauseandbi t
esher
l
ipssohar dIst artfeari
ngshewi l
lstartbleeding.
"Do.
..
..
"Istar
ttospeakbutDrNgcoboshakesher
headquickl
y.
"Somet i
mesi twoul dbeacoldmeal .Iwouldcook
anddi [Link] yonewouldeatbuthewoul dstay
outsideunt i
lthefoodiscoldandtheni twoul
dbe
myf [Link] nsultonbaddaysI
gotabeat i
[Link] twasabel tsomedaysa
[Link] imesasl apacrossthesideofmyf ace
andmyearwoul dr i
ngfordaysafter
.Somet i
mesI
woul dtellmyselftostopcryi
ngbutsomet imes
that'
sallIwant [Link]
unt
ili
tfeel
sbett
er"shebl
inksandt
het
ear
ssl
owl
y
maketheirwaydown.
"Andt henitst [Link] artedhi ghschool i
t
gotbet t
[Link] ingswoul ddisappearf or
mont hsandevenwhenIgotsomei twasn' tso
[Link] tgotbet terandIst art
edf ocusingon
everythingelsei nmyl i
fetoforgetal [Link]
wor dscamer egul [Link] ubbi shandI
shouldbegr atefult hattheyr ai
sedmei nsteadof
throwingmeout .Ihadnoot herhomesoImade
peacewi t
[Link] cedmysel ftofocusont hefavour
theywer edoi ngf [Link] ti
ngmest ayeven
thoughIdi dn'tdeser [Link]
keal oyaldogt hatyou
kickandbeatbuti thast ocomebackbecausei t'
s
l
oyalandyougi vei tf oodandshel [Link] 's
painoverever ythingel seitneedst hatyougi ve.
That '
showIsawi t"sheshr ugsandwi peher
runningnosewi ththesl eeveofhert -shir
t.
"
Sotheabusewasalwaysthebeat
ingandt
he
i
nsul
[Link]
hingmor
e?"AsksDrNgcobo.
I
'm hol
dingmybr
eathbecauseasf
arasIknow
Thembekawassexual
lymolest
edasachi
ldand
t
hatcamef
rom t
heKhumal
ofami
lynotSi
bisif
ami
ly.
"I
fyoumeansexual
l
y?[Link]
hatf
ar"
sherepl
ies.
DrNgcobonodsandwr
it
esdownonhernot
ebook.
"
Butsomeonedi
d"shecont
inuesaf
teramoment
.
DrNgcobost
opswri
ti
ngandlooksather
.
"
Who? "Iaskignor
ingt
hepr
otest
ingl
ookonDr
Ngcobo'sface.
"Idon'
[Link]'trememberverywel
l.I
t'
salways
l
[Link]
bledr
eam butt
he
painwasjustthere"shest
aresatme.
"Doyouremembertheday?Anyt
hingaboutt
heday.
Thatday?"AsksDrNgcobo.
"Wewer epractisingf
oruMemul [Link] hey
didn'
tletmedot hatwit
hot hergir
lsinthear eabuti
t
wasournei ghbourandal lyounggi rl
swere
[Link] heyallowedmet ogot othe
practi
[Link] artedaft
er6andf i
nishedafter8.
Whenwewer edoneI '
drunhomebecausei twas
[Link]
swoul dwalkingroupswi thsomeboys
therebecauset heywer en'taf [Link] hedayof
uMemul oever yt hingwentwel l
.Iwashappyt oo.
Beinggi venachancet oexper i
encesomet hi ngI've
neverseenbef or [Link] dn'thavef r
iendsbutt hegi rls
didn'
tt ellmet ogetl ostt hatni [Link] etmewal k
[Link] aughedt oget herandi twassomuch
[Link] rdt astingjuicet hat
madeever yonegi ggl [Link]'tknowi twasal cohol .
Itwasn' tbitt
erj ustbur ningaf terswal lowi ngand
thent hewei r dt ast ewoul dst ayi nyourt hr oat .Ihad
[Link] treal lyhotandunabl etost andf ort oo
l
[Link] ohi debehi ndt hehousewhi le
repeat edlywashi ngmyf acei nat ankbehi ndt he
[Link] dn'twantt oriskbei ngyel l
edatf orbei ng
toohotandknowi ngI '
vedr ankt hingsIhadno
businessdr [Link] ayedhi ddenunt ilIpassedout
feel
ingl ikether ewassomet hingheavyonme.
WhenIwokeupi twascol dandIwasi npai [Link]
myback.I tfeltt [Link]
mysel [Link] dn' tt ellanyoneandaf t
ersomet imeI
managedt oconvi ncemysel ft hatIf orgotabouti t"
shet akesadeepbr eat handwhenshel et'
si toutI
canseehershr i
nkbackt othet inywomanImar ried
t
hoseyear
sago.
"Howoldwereyou?
"IaskandDrNgcoboshoot
sa
warni
ngglancet
[Link]
gnor
eherandlookat
Thembeka.
"
Iwas13"sher
epl
ies.
Ist
artcount
ingt
heyear
[Link]
ofind
outwhoseMemuloitwasandwhodidit
.Someone
outt
heresawsomethi
ngandkeptqui
et.
"
That
'
sal
lIr
emember
"shef
ini
shes.
DrNgcobonodsandwr i
tedownsomet hi
ngonher
[Link]
li
reachfortheglassofwat
erand
dri
nksherhandsvisibl
yshaking.
"Andal
lthi
swastri
gger
edtheni
ghti
nacel
l?
"She
asksandThembekanods.
"Theelectri
cit
ywentof fandIwaslefti
nadar k.I
couldn'tseeanythingandwhenIt r
iedtomove, you
[Link] ofeelt
hebar sallI
couldtouchwast hisconcr
etewall
.Theendl ess
wallthatlockedmei nandl
eftmeinthedar kness.
WhenIt r
iedtoscream myvoicewouldn'tcomeout .
Iwasstuckinsideadarkpl
acewi t
hnovoice.I
tfelt
l
ikeIwastiedonabedpostandmymout hshut "
hervoi
cestart
st odropandherchesti
srisi
ngand
fal
li
ngfast
.It'
slikeshei
sworkingsohardtobreath.
"Shei
shavingapani cat
[Link]
ltheDoctor
"says
Ngcobogetti
ngoffthechair
.Iqui
cklyhandmy
phonetoPhil
iandrushtoThembeka' ssi
de.

*
****
***

Shei sfi
ne, justsleepingaf t
ersuff
eringfrom a
severepani cat t
[Link] sfi
net houghbutthe
doctorsaidshehast ostaybecauseher
hypertensioni stoohi [Link]'
targueinsteadI
suggestedt hatPhi ligoeshomebecauseshei s
[Link] efusedandIdidn'[Link]
l
Mlulekifi
rst.
"Nqubeko.I
'
vebeent r
yingt
ogetholdofPhil
ibut
herphoneisoff
"judgi
ngbythenoiseIguessheis
dri
vingbacktoDurban.
"Weareatthehospi
tal
.Thembekahadapani
c
att
ack"Imoveawayf r
om t
hecrowdedar
ea.
"
Pani
cat
tack?Why?
"
"Shehadanout bur
stear
li
[Link] tchen
windowandslicedherfi
stopeninseveralplaces.
Theysti
tchedherupandIcalledhertherapist.
[Link]
i
toutandyouhavenoi deahowbr utali
tis"
Mlul
ekigoesqui
etf
[Link]
di
dn'
thangupbecauseIcanhearhi
m breat
hing.
"Whenshewas13shegotdr [Link]
Memuloclosebyandshegotdr unkwit
hother
younggir
[Link] hingt
oherthatday.
Shenevertoldanyoneaboutit
"
Mluexhal
esandIheadhi
minsul
tsomeonewhoi
s
bl
owinghishor
n.
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngMl
uleki
?"IaskwhenIhear
mor
enoise.
"
Iwast
urni
ng.I
'
m headi
ngt
othehospi
talnow"
"
Yout
urnedi
nthemi
ddl
eoft
her
oad?
"
"Andnoonedi
ed.I
'
m al
mostt
here"heendst
hecal
l.
Igobacki
nsi
deandheadt
othecafet
eri
a.
"
Doyousellci
gar
ett
es?CravenA?
"Iaskt
heyoung
l
adybehi
ndthecounter
.
"
Thepack?"Sher
eachesoverandpul
lapackunder
t
hecounter
.
"Yeah"Igi
vehert
hemoneyandaskforal
ight
ert
oo.
Thesellsmat
chessoIbuyaboxandgoback
outsi
de.
Idon'
tsmokebutrightnowIneedsomethi
ngto
keepmyheadawayf r
om t
hedarkthought
[Link]
tomurdersomeone.
Ili
ghtthefi
rstcigarett
eandt aketwopuffsbefor
e
l
etti
[Link] hi
nghappensi nsi
deme
soItakeanotherpuf fandbl [Link]
llwanttokil
l
someoneandIcanst i
llhearThembeka'svoiceas
[Link] astpuf
fandstepon
[Link]'
snothel ping.
Myphoneri
ngsandIt
hinki
t'
sMl
uleki
buti
t'
s
Sandi
le.
"
Yes"
"S'
nqobil
eiscomingout
.Thecasewasthr
ownout
aft
erthedocketwentmi
ssi
ng"thewayhesaysi
t
soundsli
keheisaccusi
ngmeofsteal
ingi
t.
"
That
'
sgood"Ihavenoener
gyt
oar
guewi
thSandi
le.
"
Soyouhadnot
hingt
odowi
thi
t?"
"
[Link]
ogopi
ckheruporwhat
?"
"I'
m goingtodropherofft
omorr
oweveni
[Link]
saveyout hetr
[Link]
oknowNqubeko
thatifyoustol
e..
..
"
"Idi
dn'
tsteali
[Link]
ealitIwoul
d
havesentsomeonet ot [Link]
i
snotme"Ican' tbel
ievet hatSandi
lei
sstrai
ghtout
accusi
ngmeoft hi
s.
"
Okayf
[Link]
llseeyout
omor
rowt
hen"heends
t
hecal
l.
Ical
lMl
ulekiback.
"
I'
mint
hepacki
ngar
ea"heanswer
s.
"
I'
mint
hesmoki
ngzone"Heknowswher
eiti
[Link]
u
smokesl
ikeachi
mney.
"
Sur
e"
Heappear
saf t
erami
nut
[Link]
mtheci
gar
ett
es
andt
hemat ches.
"
Thanks"hel
ight
soneandst
artsmoki
ng.
"
Someonest
olet
hedocket
"
Hedoesn'
tsayanyt
hingbutcont
inuest
opuf
f.
"
Itaket
hatmeansyoudi
d"
"Itwasusel
[Link]
owai tunt
ilt
hewhole
thingst
art
edtodiedown"hefi
nishestheci
gar
ett
e
andsteponthebutt.
"
Isee"
"
SoThembekai
sst
il
lsl
eepi
ng?
"
"[Link] orsai
dshewi llsl
eepthewhol e
[Link]
ustcan'tbeli
evei [Link] dshe
conti
nuet oli
vewi t
hthatf amilyaft
erallthi
s?I
wouldhavebur neddownt heirhouseifitwasme"
tothi
nkIact uall
yrespectedheruncl esallthi
sti
me.
YesIdi dn'
tagreewiththewayt heydidthingsbut
sti
llt
heywereThembeka'
sfami
[Link]
enfamil
y
thatabusesachi
ldandmakeherbel
ieveit
'sf
orher
owngood.
Mlul
ekil
ooksatmeandIam forcedtor
etel
lthe
st
[Link]'
tsayanythi
ngunt
ili
'
m done.
"
Wasi
tbot
hoft
hem?
"HeasksandIshakemyhead.
"Theywereallabusivebutonl
yonewasbr utal.I
guesstheotherisguilt
ybyassociat
[Link] d
[Link] i
esachil
dt oabedposttot he
pointofdi
ssociat
ion?Shewasj ustachil
dMl uleki
!!
"
"
Shedi
ssoci
ated?
"
"It
hinksobecauseshedoesn'
trememberwhat
happenedaft
erexceptshevomit
edandpeedon
hersel
f"
"
Wher
eisDrNgcobo?
"
"Shehadt
oleaveaft
ert
heyadmit
tedThembeka"
shepromi
[Link]
dingt
oher
i
twassomeki ndofabr
eakthr
ough.
"Wehavet
ogot
oher
"saysMl
ulekial
readywal
king
away.
If
oll
owhi
m backt
othecar
.
"
Why?
"
"SoDrNgcobocanexplai
nwhathappenswhena
personreachesast
ageofdisassoci
ati
ng"hest
ops
andlooksatmeasifheisremember i
ngsomethi
ng.
"
What
?"
"
Stockhol
m syndr
ome"
"
What
?"
Mlul
ekil
et'
soutaf
rust
rat
edbr
eat
handl
ooksaway
f
orasecond.
"I
fThembekawasabusedasachi ldtoapoi ntof
dissoci
ati
oni
tmeansshedevelopedStockholm
syndromeyear
sago"Idon'
tgetitbutMlulekiis
fr
ustrat
ednowsoIlethi
m beandgeti nthecar.
Hedrivesl
ikeamadmanasweheadt oDr
Ngcobo'soff
[Link]
indaf
rontdeskl
adyhavi
ng
cof
fee.
"
[Link]
pyou"shesoundspl
easant
.
"
Canwet
alkt
oDrNgcobo.I
t'
saboutThembeka
Khumal
o"saysMl
uleki
.
"
DrNgcoboi sbusyrightnow.I
fyoucanwai
tjust
f
or"shelooksattheclockandtur
nbackt
ome" 15
minut
[Link]'
sherlastappoi
ntmentf
ort
heday"
IexpectMlul
ekitoar
guebuthenodsandwalkst
o
thewaiti
ngchair
[Link]
emainstandi
ngandst
areat
theclock.
15minut esfeel
slikehoursofwait
[Link] he
doorfi
nal l
yopensandayounggi rlwalksoutwith
herparentsIwonderifsheisgoingthroughwhat
Thembekai [Link]
andIreplybeforewewal ktotheoffi
[Link]
l
ooksfrightenedforasecond.
"Shei
sokay"It
ellherandshenodsbef
oreshesi
ts
down.
"Thi
sismyf r
iendMl ul
eki
.Wehavesomequestions.
Ihopeyoucananswersomeoft hem f
orus"Ihave
toremainpol
itebecausethi
swomanisgoingto
helpThembeka.
"Canyouexpl ai
nwhathappenswhenaper
son
dissoci
ate"asksMl
uleki
.
"Dissociati
onhappenswhent hemi ndshi
eldsa
personf rom atraumati
[Link]
'sapoi
ntwhere
youf eeldisconnect
edfrom yoursel
fandtheevent
that'
shappeni ngaroundyou...
..
"
"
DidThembekaexper
iencethat
?"IaskandNgcobo
l
ooksabituncomf
ort
able.
"[Link]
eaki
ngany
conf
ident
ial
it
ycl
ause"saysMl
uleki
.
"Thembekawentthroughalot
.Shemayhave
dissoci
atedf
rom t
imetoti
[Link]'
sver
ypossi
ble"
"
Shewasr [Link]'tknowwhobutsheknew
i
[Link]?"Iask.
"Shewasi
ntoxi
[Link]
ngt
ohermemori
es
shewasundertheinfl
uencesowecan'
tknowf
or
sure"
"Ifithappenedbefor
edoesthatmeanitcanhappen
agai n?"asksMluandIdon'
tgetwhathemeans.I
thinkNgcobousconf usedt
oo.
"ImeanifThembekadissoci
atedbef
orei
tmeansi
t
canhappenagain"heexplai
ns.
"
Therei
sapossibi
li
[Link]
"she
l
ooksatMl
uleki
.
"
Justcal
lmeMl
uleki
.It
'sf
ine"
"MrMl ul
[Link] et
herapy
[Link] hr
oughwashor r
ifi
cand
i
t'sgoingtotakerealworktohel
[Link]
youbot hwantanswer sandyouwantwhat '
sbest
[Link]
lecti
vel
ywecanachi evet
hat
.Shewi ll
needsuppor t"
"Igetthatandwewi l
[Link]
Thembekadi ssoci
ateditmeansitwasn' tthef
ir
st
ti
me.I t
'spossi
bleshehasdonei tbeforeandmor e
abusemusthavehappeneddur i
ngt hattime"asks
MlulekiandNgcobonods.
"
No"
"
I'
m sor
rybuti
t'
spossi
ble"shegi
vesmet
hesad
l
ook.
"Allt
hisbecauseIl
ethersleepinthatj
ailcel
l.I
didn'
tmeanf oranyofthi
[Link] ust
[Link]'t
evenknowCl ementthatwellbutshestayedwith
t
hem unti
litwasalmostmidni
ght
.Wor
sesheeven
f
ellasl
[Link]
y"
"
Shef
ellasl
eep?
"AskNgcobo.
"Wit
hstranger
sar [Link]
eemenshedoesn' t
evenknowverywel [Link]
obet her
e.
Anythi
ngcouldhavehappenedandshewasn' teven
scaredabouti
[Link] '
swhatmademeangr [Link]
l
ackoff earwi
ththoseguys"
"Soyoulethersleepinjai
l?
"Ngcoboi
sgi
vingmea
j
[Link]
eel worsesoherj
udgi
ngf
ace
doesn'
tmat t
er.
"Itwasn'
tevenapr operarrest
.Isentasl
eepingbag,
toldthem t
oletherstayaloneandnotlockthebars.
Itwasmeantt obeal [Link] hati
t'
s
badt obereckl
ess"
"
Aharshpuni
shmentf
orapr
egnantyoungwoman
MrMbonambi"
"
[Link]
imeIwasj
ustangry"t
hethoughtof
miscar
ri
ageonl
ycameaft
erI
'vedoneit.
"
Haveyoueverconsi
der
edseei
ngsomeoneabout
t
hatanger
?"ShesuggestandMl
ulekigi
vesmea
l
ook.
"
Idon'
tneedi
[Link]'
thaveangeri
ssues"
"Thereisnoshamei
nadmi
tt
inganemot
ion"she
presses.
"
Ireal
l
ydon'
[Link]
ustneedt
ofocusonher
"
"Soyoudon'
tfeel
li
kedri
vingt
oThembeka'
shome
andbeatupheruncl
es?
"SheasksandMlul
eki
l
aughs.
"
That
'
snott
hepoi
nt"
"It
hinkiti
[Link]
om timetotimeever
yone
doesgot hr
oughsomet hinginthei
rli
vesandthey
doneedhel pget
ti
ngoveri t
"sheisstart
ingt
osound
tookindandIcan'thavethat.
"
FornowI
'
dli
ket
[Link]
me"
"Sometimeshefeelshei
snotgoodenoughwhich
expl
ainshisangerwhenThembekawashanging
outwithguysaroundherage"saysMl
uleki
.
Ican'
tbel
ievei
t.
"Don'
tlookatmeli
[Link]
eisnoshamein
admitt
ingthat
"het
urnstoNgcobo" Shei
syounger
thanhim sosomet
imesitshows"
"
Idon'
thavei
nsecur
it
ies!
!"
"Hedoesbuttheyarenor
[Link]
personbutheneedstodealwi
ththat
"saysMl
uleki
i
gnor i
ngtheannoyedl
ookinmyface.
"
Yessheisayear
syoungert
henmebutIdon'
tfeel
t
hatway"
"Atsomepointhewasconvi ncedsheiswit
hhim
becausesheissuff
eringfrom St
ockhol
m syndrome.
Thatit'
snotoutofl
ove"Igetupandwal kt
ot he
[Link]'
tst
andthiskindofhumili
ati
on.
"St
ockhol
m syndrome?
"AsksNgcobocl
ear
ly
dir
ect
ingthequesti
ont
ome.
IlookatMlul
ekif
oranswer
[Link]
sact
ingl
ikean
expectanyway.
"
Shemarri
edhi
m whenshewas18,
basi
cal
lyshe
wassol
dtohi
m"
Ishoul
dcont
inuewal
kingoutbutIdon'
tmove.I
st
andatt
hedoorandwai
t.
"
Wecanschedul
eanappoi
ntmentf
oryou"shesays
wit
haki
ndface.
"
Itwi
l
lbegoodf
orhi
m"saysMl
uleki
.
"
MrMl ul
ekipl
ease"saysNgcobodi
sappr
ovi
[Link]
r
aisesbot
hhandsandst ayseat
ed.
"
IjustneedThembekat
obeokay"
"Andyouneedtobeokayt oo"[Link]
eki
nodsinagreement
.Igivehimtheevil
eyeandf i
gure
Icanmakeanappoi nt
mentandcancelitbefor
eit
[Link]'
tfor
cemet ocome.
"Okayfi
[Link]
ment"Iagr
ee
andMlulekismil
esasi
fI'
vej
ustagreedt
o
somethi
ngbi g.
"
Good.I
'
llt
alkt
omyassi
stant
"sheget
sup.
"
CanIasksomet
hingDoc?
"SaysMl
uleki
.
"
Yespl
ease"shesmi
lespol
it
ely.
"Let
'ssayThembekawassuffer
ingf
rom St
ockholm
syndromewaybeforeNqubekocametoherli
fe.I
meanherf ami lyabusedherbutshest ayedand
somehowcont inuedt oregardthem asf amilyaft
er
al
[Link]'ssayshedi dallthatbecauseshewas
al
readyundert heef [Link], shecouldhave
saidsomet hi
[Link] dhaveexposedt hem but
shedidn'[Link] dn'tevenconf [Link]
wonder i
ng, isitpossiblethatwhenshemar r
ied
Nqubekot heyt r
ansferredthepowerf r
om them to
him"hepoi ntsatme.
"Whatar
eyousayi
ng?
"Iwal
kbackt
othechai
rhei
s
sit
ti
ngon.
"Yousai dityour
[Link] o
getheri nthepoli
cestati
onsheheldont oyouand
didn'tsayanythi
ngaboutyouractionsput t
ingher
[Link]'
tthatwhatStockhol
misal [Link]
ndi
ng
shelterinyourabuser"saysMlu.
"Idonotabusemygi
rl
fr
iend"Ishout
.Hehas
crossedt
heline.
"
Pleasecal
m down"saysNgcobo.
"
Hei
ssayi
ngI
'
veabusedmygi
rl
fr
iend"
"
I'
mjustmaki
nganexampl
[Link]
dhaver
an
awayfrom youbutshedidn'
[Link]'
m aski
ng.I
sit
possi
blethatThembeka'
sunclestr
ansferr
edthe
powerfrom t
hem tohi
m"saysMl ul
ekili
keheisn'
t
i
nsult
ingme.
"Igetwhatyouar esayingMrMl ul
ekibutIcan't
diagnosesomet hi
nglikethatwit
houttal
kingto
Thembekaf ir
[Link] hi
nkweneedt of ocuson
getti
ngherbetterandt hatmeanslooki
nginto
everythi
ng"saysNgcobo.
DeepdownIwanttopunchMlul
ekibutIdon'
twant
hert
ocallt
hepol
iceonusandthenmebei ngi
njai
l
whil
eThembekaneedsme.
"I
'
llper
sonall
ymakesurehemakesanappoi nt
ment
anddraghim her
eifIhaveto"hest
andsupand
Ngcobonodsasi fhi
m sayi
ngthataccompl
ish
something.

*
****
***

I
t'
srai
ningaswel
eaveDrNgcobo'
sof
fi
[Link]
h
runtot
hecarandgeti
[Link]
ulekist
art
sthecarand
dri
veout.
"Befor
eyoucometoki
llmeinmysleephearme
out"hi
stonei
[Link]
kehefi
ndsthi
swhole
thi
ngfunnysomehow.
"
Tal
k"Idon'
tevenl
ookathi
m.
"Wear
egoingtofi
ndthetr
[Link]
shpeoplefori
t
andDrNgcoboisgoi
ngtobeourwitnessaboutit
"
"
Idon'
tfol
low"
"I
fyouareaweakmanwhohasi nsecurit
iesand
att
endsther
apyandhasat herapistwhohasseen
youatyourlowestthelastthi
nganyonewoul d
suspecti
sthatyouarecapabl eofhurti
nganyone
andme?Wel li'
l
lbeyoubi ggestsupporterinyour
weakestmomenti nli
fe"hesmi l
[Link]
manymi st
akeforagenui nesmile.
"
Doyout
hinkwear
egoi
ngt
ofi
ndt
het
rut
h?"
"Yesandsomeonewillpayf
orit"hedoesn'
teven
stopatt
heredl
ightandIdon'tsayanyt
hingabouti
t.
Chapt
er83
Adul
tCont
ent

Nqubeko.

Wef i
ndThembekaawakeandsi tt
[Link]
iis
si
tt
ingnexttoherwhil
eClementandhisfri
endsare
al
laroundherspeaki
nginloudvoicesl
iket
hisis
notahospit
al.
"
Heygent
s"saysCl
ementwhenwewal ki
[Link]
ice
t
hefl
ower
sandmagazinesonthebedsi
de.
Inodandgoki
ssThembeka'
sli
ps.
"Whendi
dyouguysgether
e?"AsksMl
uleki
put
ti
ng
hisar
msaroundPhi
li
.
"
Wewer ehereforsomethingel
seandwesawheri n
t
hepassage"saysClementpoint
ingatPhi
li
."She
t
oldussheishere"helooksatThembekakindl
y.
"
Andyouhadf
lower
sready?
"Cont
inuesMl
uleki
.
"
Weboughtt
hem i
nthest
oreout
side"saysNdl
ela.
"Hospi
talst
aycanbetir
[Link]
yandwe
canhavear emat
ch"saysAlexbeforetheylaugh.
"I
'
m goingtopract
iceandbeatyourassnextt i
me"
saysThembekasoundi ngcheerf
ul.I
tmakesme
j
[Link]'tevenknowthem thatwellbut
sheislaughi
ngli
ket hei
rareherbestfr
iends.
"CanIplaytoo"saysPhi
liandMluleki
gri
nvani
shes
quickl
[Link] olaugh.
"
[Link]
aywit
hmei nmyownhouse"he
j
umpsinandweal l
lookathi
[Link]
obursti
nto
l
aught
erbutIdon'
t.
"Maybewecanal
lplay"saysCl
ementt
aki
ngcont
rol
oftheawkwar
dsi
tuati
on.
"
Goodidea"agr
[Link]
ulekigi
vesmet
he
l
ookt
hatsays'hel
lno'
"Canwetalk?
"Il
ookatCl
ementandhenodsbef
ore
hefoll
[Link]
urtherdownt
he
passage.
"I
'
m sensingsomet hi
[Link]
'swr
ong?
"Hel
ooks
calm andi'
m annoyed.
"Youandyourbrotherskeepi
ngmywifeinyour
houseunti
[Link]
ethersl
eep
i
nsteadoftel
li
nghert ogohome"
Hedoesn'tl
ookbotheredi
nsteadhepusheshi
s
gl
assesinplaceandlooksatme.
"
Youweren'
[Link] r
ied
t
ocheerherupandwhenshefel
lasl
eepwekept
wai
ti
ngforyout
ocomegethersinceyouknew
wher
eshewas"
"
Andnoneofyout
houghtitwasagoodi
deat
ocal
l
meort
akeherhomeearl
ier?
"
"Why?Shewasf
[Link]
sur
eshewassafeinsi
debeforeleavi
ng"
"
Int
hemi
ddl
eoft
heni
ght
!!
?"
"
SoIshoul
dhaveconvi
ncedhert
ost
ayt
heni
ght
?"
"
Inahousef
ullofmen?Menshej
ustmet
?"I
'
m
t
ryi
ngsohar
dnottoputmyhandsonCl
ement.
"Wait
,men?Youmakei tsoundl
ikeshewasin
dangerorsomethi
ng"helooksl
ikeIj
ustst
abbed
himinthehear
t.
"Youhardl
[Link]
hersopleasedon'
tactl
ikeshewas100%safewit
h
you"Ist
epbackbeforehesayssomethi
ngandI
enduppunchinghimintheface.
"
Iwasdesper
[Link]
fewasdyi
ng!
!"
"
Andyout
raumat
izedmywi
fe"
"Andshefor
[Link] [Link]
elt
safeandIdon'tcar
ewhatyout hi
nkofusbutshe
l
ikeusandwel i
kehert
[Link] efr
iendswit
h
Thembeka"histoneischal
lengi
ng.
"BecarefulCl
ement
.Youdon'
twantt
omakeme
angry"Iwarn.
"Orwhat?Youwillsendyourt
hugstomyhouse?All
becauseIhappentoenjoyThembeka'
scompany
andmybr ot
hersseem toli
kehert
oo.I
sitbecause
wearenotSouthAf ri
can'
s"
"
Don'
tbechi
ldi
sh"
"
ThenwhydoIgetthefeel
ingl
ikeyouaret
reati
ng
meli
[Link] sa
f
ri
[Link]'
tknowherthatwel
landit
'sfi
ne.
Shei
ski
ndandIl
ikeki
ndpeopl
[Link]
nkweal
lcan
dowi
thaki
ndwomaninourli
ves"
It
akeadeepbr
eat
handcont
rolmyt
emper
.
"Sheisvul
nerabl
[Link]
shur teasi
lyandyou
can'
tblamemef orbei
ngprotecti
[Link]
thesameforyourwomant oo"Ihatehavi
ngtobri
ng
uphispainbutIhavenochoice.
"Iwouldtr
ustherandtr
ustherfr
iendsevenifIdon'
t
agreewithherchoi
[Link]'
tdoanythingto
[Link] enotthatt
[Link]
respectwomen"
"Bityoudon'
thaveaproblem hol
dingthem atgun
point"t
hatseemstogettohim abitbecausehe
fl
inches.
"Andsheunderstandswhyandfor
gavemeforit
.
Youreal
lyshouldtryt
hesame"hewalksaway.
"Idon'
tthi
[Link]
helineCl
ement
anditseemsli
keyouhavenoi nt
ent
ionsofkeeping
yoursel
faway"Isayitl
oudenoughforhimtostop
andlookatme.
"Youshouldn'
thavemar ri
edsomeonehalfyourage
i
fyoucan'tdealwiththesethi
ngsNqubeko.
Thembekai syoungandf r
om timetoti
meitwil
l
alwaysshow"hewal ksawayaf ter
.Iwat
chhim wal
k
andtellmysel
fit'
snottheplace.

*
****
***

Iwaitf
orfewminut
esbefor
egoi
ngbacki
n.
Thembekaisl
aughi
ngandNdlel
aissi
ngi
ngsome
songIhavenobusi
nessknowi
ng.
"YoushouldgetsomerestMaKhumalo"Isayas
soonast [Link]
nvi
tedandnot
neededlotneedstogo.
"I
'vebeensleepi
ngf
orhour
sal r
eady"shesmileand
[Link]
i
swat chingmesoIbenddownandki ssthetopof
herhead.
"Iknowbutwewantyout
orecoverqui
ckl
ysoyou
cancomehome"Idropmyvoicelowenoughf
orher
t
olookatmeandgiggl
[Link]
hisl
ookandIl
ove
i
t.I
tmeansi
'm char
mingher.
"
AndIhat
either
e"
"That
'
swhyyouneedt ogetasmuchr estas
possi
[Link]
hinktheguyscanvi si
tnextti
me"Igi
ve
ClementthelookthatsaysIhavethelastwordi
n.
"Thanksfort
hemagazi
nesandt
hef
lower
s"she
smilesatNdl
ela.
"I
t'
snothi
[Link]
ter
"hegi
vesheral
it
tl
e
salut
e.
"Andwewi llcomet [Link]
i"says
Clementtakinghisjacket
.Theyallsaythei
r
goodbyesandl eave.
"
Ithi
nkIcoul
ddowi
thsomepi
es"saysThembeka.
"Andwewi llgoseeifwecanfindsomesteakand
kidneypie"saysMl ul
ekibef
orehetakesPhil
i'
shand
andt heyleaveusalone.
Ileanoverandki
ssThembeka'sli
[Link]
ssesme
[Link]
sslowandsheseem topushher
tongueinmymout [Link]
lbackwhenherhands
t
ouchmyar
ms.
"
Hospi
talr
oom myl
ove"Iwhi
sper
.
"Ar
eweokay?"Hertonei
sseri
ousandIsi
tdown
nextt
oherbef
oreIanswer.
"
Doyouf or
giveme?Iwr ongedyoumyl oveandI
f
eelsobadaboutit"Ineedtohearhersayit
.Onl
y
t
henI'
llf
eelbett
er.
"Ifor
giveyou.I
twasscar
ybut
..
..
"Sheexhal
esand
closehereyes.
"
AndI
'
llneverdoi
tagai
[Link]
omi
seyou"
"
Iwanttogetbett
[Link]
f
rom al
lthoset
hings"t
heenerget
ictoneshest
art
ed
wit
hdropsandIputmyar msaroundher.
"Andwewill
.Wearegoi
ngtobeokay"i
'
m notsur
e
exact
lyhowbuti
tsomethi
ngt
hathastohappen
soon.
"
Butyouaregoingtomakemet alkaboutit
.Idon'
t
wantt
ot al
kabouti
[Link]
kingabouti
tdoesn'tmake
mefeelbett
er.I
tmakesmer ememberthingsIdon'
t
wantt
or emember"
"Butyoucan'tl
iveyourli
feinabubbleThembeka.
Atsomepoi ntyouwi l
lhavetotal
kaboutitand
accepti
taspar tofyourli
[Link]
ustme, Idowantto
l
ockyouupandmakesur eyouneverexper i
ence
discomfor
tagainbutwehavet obepracti
calher
e
babygirl
"it
'snotaboutmyegor i
ghtnow.
"
Soheal
ingmeanst
her
apyandhavi
ngt
oconf
ront
myuncl
e?"
"Youar
ealr
eadyi
nther
[Link]
oopen
upmore"
Shenodsandl
eansbackont
hepi
ll
ow.
"Soyouaregoi
ngtodoi
t?Bemoreopenaboutt
he
pastsoyoucangett
hehel
pyouneed?"
Shel
ooksatmeandnod.
"
Whataboutyou?It
hinkyoual
soneedt
her
apy"
"IknowandI '
l
ldoitt
oo.I'
llmakeanappoi
ntment
soon"Ipl acemyhandonhert [Link] obe
okayf orthisl
it
tl
epersonwear ebr
ingi
ngbutbef
ore
allthatsomeoneoutt her
ehassomeanswersto
give.
"
Icanfeelt
hemovement
[Link]'
t
t
hinkyoucanf
eelt
hem j
ustyet
.Itf
eel
sli
keasoft
t
ouchinsi
deme"shepl
acesherhandovermi
ne.
"
Real
ly?
"Ist
areasi
fImi
ghtseeasof
tmovement
t
oo.
"
Reall
[Link]
hinkwearehavingagi
rl
"shesmi
lesandI
wishshecomesoutlooki
ngli
keher
.

*
****
****
*

Phi
li
.

I'
mi nMluleki
'
shouseagai [Link] edtogohomet o
myki dsbuti'
mf eeli
ngemot ionalandMl ulekisai
dit
mi ghtmakethekidswor ryifIbur sti
ntotearsin
theirpr
[Link]
kewedi dsomet hi
ngto
someoneandwear epayingf [Link] se
couldIexplai
nallthis?Noonehassuchbadl uckin
l
[Link]
ngThembekat alkabouthergr owingup
mademef eell
ikesomeonewast ear
ingmeup
i
nsi
[Link]
dn'
tdeser
veanyofi
t.
"[Link] ecryi
[Link] egoingtogeta
headache"saysMlulekicomi
ngbehindmeasI
standintheki
tchensinkstar
ingout
sidethewindow.
Tearsf
allmor
eandIwi
pet
hem bef
oret
urni
ngt
o
facehi
m.
"Ij
ustdon'
tgeti
[Link]
llpr
etend
tobeagoodperson?"Ifol
dmyar mst omychest
andthatbl
ockshimfrom pul
li
ngmecl ose.
"
Someoneevi [Link]
ortunatel
yonecan'
tchoose
f
amily"hestepscloserignor
ingt
heboundaryi
'm
t
ryi
ngt okeepbetweenus.
"Andshemovesonl
ikenot
[Link]'
t
geti
t"
Hedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadhest
art
sbr
ushi
ngmy
ar
ms.
"
Doyoumi
[Link]'
twantt
obet
ouched"Isnap.
Helookssurpr
isebuthest
epsbackabi
[Link]
ake
Mlul
ekidoesn'
tgettol
dnooft
eninhi
sli
fe.
"
Nott
oday.I
'
m noti
nar
ightpl
acef
orsex"
"Ineversai
dwearehavi
[Link]'
m notal
lowed
totouchyouunl
esswearehavingsex?"Hi
st onei
s
annoyed.
"
Ididn'
tmeanitl
iket
hat
"Idon'
twantust
ost
art
f
ighti
ng,nott
oni
ght.
Hedoesn'
tsayanyt
hingi
nst
eadhi
sphonebeeps
andheatt
endstoit
.
Iwat
chhim whenhemakesacal
l.I
'vebeenaround
l
ongenoughtoknowwhenamani scall
ingandthi
s
i
sawomani ntheot
herend.
"
Okayfi
ne.I'
llbet
her
etosorti
tout"hesounds
r
eal
lyannoyedasheendsthecal
[Link]
endtowi
pe
t
hedrysink.
"Ihavet
ogooutf
[Link].I
'
llbe
backinamoment"hel
eansoverandkissmycheek.
"
Sowhoi
sshe?Whyi
sshecal
li
ngyou?
"Ican'
thel
p
i
t.
Hest
opsmovi
ngandl
ooksatme.
"Iknowyoutal
kedt
[Link]
sshe
call
ingyou?
"
"Youwantust ohaveaf i
ght
.Icansee"hewal
ks
[Link]
othonthesi
nkandfol
low
[Link] akest
hestair
stwoattheti
meandIhave
toruntokeepup.
"
MaybeIdon'
tfeel
okayknowi
ngyouar
eoutt
her
e
t
alki
ngt
osomewoman"
Wefoll
oweachot hertothebedroom andMl ul
eki
goestothecl
osetandt [Link]
movingandmymout hgoesdryimmedi at
ely.
"Gett
[Link]
dn'
ttakemor
ethan20mi
nut
es"
heinst
ruct
.
"I
'm comingwit
hyou"i tsoundsinsaneevenwhenI
hearmyselfsayitbutIcan'thelpi
[Link]
ri
ght,MaybeIam tryi
ngt ostartafi
ghtbecausei
'
m
feel
ingfr
ustr
atedont heinside.
"
[Link]
est
ayi
ng"hi
stonei
snotpl
ayi
ng.
"I
fyouleavemeherealoneI'
llcal
landuberandgo
backhome"Ithreat
enandthatmakeshim stop
[Link] ep
back.
"Whateveryouaredyingtohavetonighti
'l
lgi
vei
tto
youandmor [Link]'
ttestme"hi
sfingerpoint
smy
for
ehead.
"
Thengoandsee"
Hedoesn'tmovef orami
nutebutwhenitshows
t
hati
'm notbackingdownheshakeshisheadand
wal
[Link] abmyjacketandf
oll
ow.
"I
'
m warni
ngyouPhi
li
.Youarenotcomingwit
hme"
hespeakswhi
lewal
kingandIcont
inuetof
oll
ow.
Webothmakeitt
othedoorandheopensitwide
enoughf
[Link]
tat
eabi
tbefore
movingf
orwar
d.
Hecl osesthedoorandwal kst [Link]
spour ing
andIwal kcl
osetotheshelteruntilwereacht hecar.
I'
llneverunderst
andwhyt heydon' tputtheircarsin
thegar [Link] agesandst i
llpark
yourcarout si
de.I
tdoesn'
tmakeanysense.
"GobackinsidePhil
i"hesaysbef
oreheopensthe
door
.Iignorehim andopenthepassengersi
de.
WhenIgetinheshakeshi sheadandgetsintoo.
*
****
***

Wear eintheci
tycenterandwest opinfr
ontofa
buil
ding.I
t'
schaoti
c.I
tseemsl i
ket her
eisaf i
ght
andsomeonei sbusythrowingthi
ngsoutthe
windowwhi l
emenar espeakinginloudvoices
outsi
de.
"
Grabandumbr el
lainthebackseatandcomewi t
h
me"hesaysandIdoast ol
[Link]'
tsayanythi
ng
t
omet [Link]
kingnow.
[Link]
sforme
towalkacrossbef
orewewal kinsi
det
hebuil
ding.
Menpar twhenwewal kpastandInot
icet
hat
they'
vestoppedar
guing.
"Sel
[Link]
eishe?"Heaskswi
[Link]
guywhom i'
m assumingi
t'
sSel
loisfol
lowingus.
"
Apar
tment3B"hesoundsl
ikehespeaksSesot
ho.
Mlul
ekinodsandtakesthest
air
[Link]
f
li
ghtofstair
sandbyt het
imewereacht
he3rd
f
loori
'm outofbr
[Link]
ksdownthepassage
[Link] mt oknockbuthekickst
he
[Link] umpsupf r
om t
hecouchand
ther
eisawomanbeneat [Link]
grabsomet [Link] so
[Link] eel
ing
humili
atedont hei
rbehalf.
"AhMl u..
..
."Hedoesn'
tgettofi
nishbecause
Nqubekogr abst
heumbrell
aonmyhandandst ar
ts
[Link] inuesto
scream andt hemanisshockedtothepointof
bei
ngf rozen.
"Mybuil
dingandyouar eturni
ngiti
ntoahoehouse.
Myfuckenbuildi
ng"yel
lsMl ul
ekobeati
ngtheman
l
ikeheiskil
li
[Link] l
ostar
tstoint
ervene
whenthemanst art
sbleedingandtheumbr el
lai
s
outofshape.
"For
givehi
m [Link]
oudandcl
ear"says
Sell
otaki
ngtheumbrel
lainMlul
eki
'
shands.
Hetur
nsandlooksatthecryinggi
rl
.Looki
ngather
nowIthi
nksheisjustateenager
.
"
Wher
edoyoul
ive?
"Heasksherandsheshi
ver
s
bef
oreshemumbl
essomet
hing.
"Youareauniversi
tystudent
?"Heaskslooki
ngl
ike
hewant stost
artbeati
[Link]
Mlulekit
urnst
ot hemanandhi t
shimthreemore
ti
mes.
"
Astudent
?Youarebusyf
uckingaki
dwhi
le
t
reat
ingt
hispl
acel
ikeabr
othel"
Whenhet
ri
edt
ohi
thi
m agai
nSel
lost
opshi
m.
"Sor
[Link]
eoutofmy
buil
ding.I
'
llbebacktomorrowandtheyar
ebet
ter
begone!!"
Whenhet
urnst
ofacemeIcl
osemymout
hshut
.
"
Nextt
imeIsayst
ay,
youst
ay"hewal
ksoutandI
f
oll
owhim.
Wewal
kinsi
lenceaswel eavet
hepl
aceandgeti
n
t
hecar
.Hest
artsdri
vingandIremai
nqui
et.
*
****
***

Whenwegetbackt
ohi
shouseIgetoutandr
unt
o
[Link]
headupst ai
rsst
rai
[Link]'
tgetoverwhatij
ust
[Link] i
ket
hat?
Itakethecl
othesof
fandgetint
omysleepi
ng
shortsandl
[Link]
ksinij
ump.
"
What
?"Hest
andst
her
eandst
aresatme.
Idon'
trepl
yinst
eadIcr
awli
ntobed.
"Youcan'tactal
[Link] ost
ay"he
takeshisclot
hesoffandthrowt hem onthe
ottoman.
"It
houghtitwasanotherwomanbecauseIsai
di
don'twanttohavesex"
"Andyouassumedi'
mt hatper
[Link]
ait
hyou
haveinme"heshakeshishead.
"
Idi
dn'
tmeani
tli
ket
hat
"
"Youmeanti
thow?
"Hecomest obedinshor
tsans
nothi
ngonhi
[Link]'
thel
pbutstare.
"I
tdoesn'tmatt
[Link]
ngawoman"Ismi
lea
bitbuthedoesn'
tretur
nit
.
"Goodni
ght
"heget
sinandt
urnof
fthel
ightonhi
s
side.
"[Link]'
tmi
nd"Ipl
acemyhand
onhischest
.
"
Nott
oday"hepushesi
taway.
"
BecauseIcamewi
thyou?
"
"
Justsl
eepPhi
li
"
"Soyouareangr
y?"Ipr
[Link]
kethe
arguement
sbecauseIcan'
tst
opmyselfri
ghtnow.
"
Yout
hink?
"Hegi
vesmeahar
dlook.
"AndIwantt
omakeupf
ori
t.I
'
m of
fer
ingyousex"I
don'
tgetwhyhei
spl
ayi
nghar
dtoget
.
"Idon'twanti [Link]'tpi
ssmeof fandthi
nksex
[Link]
.Youhad
toseeal [Link]'twantyoutobe
exposedt o"
"
SoIdon'
tgett
omakemyowndecisionaboutal
l
t
hat
?"It
urntot
heot
hersi
deandshif
tclosert
ohim.
"
Noyoudon'
t.I
t'
smyj
obt
opr
otectyou"het
urnst
o
f
acemyandmyassi
sagai
nsthi
m.
"
Mxm"t
hat
'sal
lIsaybef
oret
urni
ngt
hel
ightof
f.
Itgoesquietf
oramomentandIshi ftagai
npushi
ng
myt hi
[Link]
shandrestonmyhipand
hisfi
ngerstouchthefabr
icoft
heshor t
s.
"Il
oveyou"hewhi spersandhishandgri
psmyhi p
hard"Don'tl
etmef uckyoutoni
ght.I
'mtooangr
y
andImi ghtnotbelovi
ngandgent l
eli
keyouare
usedto"itsoundsli
keawar ni
ng.
"MaybeIl
ikei
trough"Ir
epl
yandhet
akeshi
shand
away.
"
Phi
li
"
"I
t'
smychoice.I
'
dli
ket
ofeel
howi
tfeel
sli
kewhen
youar
erough"
Hedoesn'trepl
yinsteadhepushest
hebl
anketof
f
meandgr absapi l
lowbefor
ehepull
smywaistup
adst
uffitunderneathme.
"
Don'
tfor
getpr
otect
ion"
Ihearadr
awerbei
ngopenbefor
ehel
ower
sthe
short
sandgeti
tof
fononeleg.
Theki
ssisbri
efandbef
orelonghei
spushingmy
l
egsapartandent
eri
ngmeinahardthr
[Link]
etout
asoundbefor
ebit
ingmythumb.
Thethrust
sar ehardandf [Link] shandisgr iping
myhai rwhil
[Link] squi ckandI
feelmyownor gasm approachf astandhar dt oo.I
bracemyselfforthepleasurewhi l
etryi
ngsohar dto
[Link]
ythreatenstopushme
overtheedgehest opsandpul lsout .Iprotestthe
l
ossofcont actandhesl apsmyhandaway.
"[Link]
ttheorgasm i
nthecar"hegetsoff
meandwal [Link]
urnoverandst ar
ein
[Link]'tcomebackandIcrossmyl egs
j
usttofeelt
hatbitofpl
easur
ebutit
'snotthesame.
Chapt
er84

Nqubeko.

Thisiswayeasiert
hanIthought
.Thehouseisquiet
exceptf
orthatdri
ppingt
apintheki
[Link]
togetitf
ixedandstopwast i
ngwat er
.Weare
alr
[Link] oundandgr aba
kit
chenknifeonthedrawerbef oreheadingdown
[Link] oom dooropen
andthelightt
[Link]
nkhemustbeaf r
aidof
thedarkanditmakesmewantt olaughbutIdon't
.I
removethephoneandt hrowitbehi ndthechair
.His
bedsidedrawerisemptysohecan' tdoanythi
ng
evenifhewakesup.
Isi
tdownandcheckt heti
[Link]
'saft
er2am he
shouldbewakingupnowunlesshissensesar
e
[Link]
tst
il
landwai twi
tht
heknif
eonmyhand.
Hemovesabi tbefor
ehejumpsup.
"
Whatt
he.
..
..
."Ist
ophi
m.
"
I'
mtheonespeaki
ngnow"
"Howdi dyougetinmyhouse?"heshovesthe
blanketof
fhim butIpul
loutagunandthatmakes
him stopmoving.
"[Link]
eal
lyeasybuti
'
m not
hereforthat"Icanseehi
schestr
isi
ngandfal
li
ng.
Heisscar edandIam happy.
"
Whatdoyouwant
?"
"I
t'
sreal
lysimpl
[Link] mywife.
Thembekaisoffli
mit
s"iputthegundownnextt o
meandpi ckuptheknif
ebeforespinni
ngthesharp
endonthepalm [Link] seyesstayf
ixedon
knif
e.
"
Butshoul
dn'
tthatbeherchoi
ce?
"
"
Iguessit
'snot
.It
'smychoi
ceandyoudon'
tmake
t
hecut"
"Becauseyouf
eel
insecur
e?"Ther
eisbi
tt
ernesson
histone.
"YoucouldsaythatIdon'tr
eal
[Link]
seeClement,Idon'
[Link]
youthinkidon'
[Link] r
om her
"
"
Orwhat
?"Hegi
vesmet
hechal
lengi
ngl
ook.
"OrI'
l
lhavet
ocomebackandsl i
ceyouopen.I
'
d
hatedoi
ngthatbuti
fihavet
otheni'
l
ldoit
"
"Al
lthi
sjustbecausewehappent
oenj
oyher
company?"
"
Ohno.I
'
m notpet
tybutwhenyour
emi
ndedme
thatsheishalfmyageandthatther
ewillal
waysbe
heragemat eswaiti
ngi
nthewingIreal
izedyou
wererightandtokeeppeopl
eli
keyouawayIhave
todoever yt
hingi
nmypower .I
t'
snothi
ngpersonal
"
iputmygunbackandgetup.
"
Andi
fit
ellher
?"
IguessCl
ementi
stheki
ndt
hatdoesn'
tknowwhen
toquit
.
"Theni
'l
lki
llyou.I
t'
sthatsi
[Link]
ri
endshi
p
andeveryt
hingwil
lbefineagai
n"ithr
owthekni
fe
onbedandwal ktothedoor.
"Shedoesn'tdeser
vesomeonecont
rolandbul
lyl
ike
you"hehisses.
"Shealsodoesn'
tdeser
veaspinelesswimpli
keyou
sobetweenusnoonedeser vesherbutheyigother
fi
rstandi'
m keepi
ngher"Icl
osethedoorbehi
ndme
[Link]'
tfoll
owsoIdriveout
andheadbackt othehospi
tal
.

*
****
***
Ifi
[Link]
seassur
esme
thatt
heyar
ebot hf
[Link]
hebedandwatch
hersl
eepi
[Link]
ulandver
ycalm.
Thisi
showilikeher.
Myphonevibr
atesandIt akei
[Link]
'satext
messagef
rom [Link] saskingifshecan
comeseemet [Link] exti
ngme
att
imeoft
heni ght
?Idecidetocallherback.
"
Dad"sheanswer
s.
"
Areyouokay?Whyareyounotsleepi
ng?
"Il
eave
t
heroom soidon'
twakeThembekaup.
"Li
ndohadaf i
ghtwit
[Link] hreat
enedtokick
him outoft
hehouse"shesoundsl
ikesheiscr
ying.
"
Ishet
her
e?"
"Yeshei
[Link]
ockedhersel
finherbedr
oom
andhasn'
tcomeoutsincet
hen"
"Gi
veLindothephone.I'
l
lcomegetyoumysel ft
his
weekend.I
sthatokay?"Icanhearherbr
eathi
ng
bef
oreshesaysokayandt henLindo'
svoicecomes
on.
"
What
'sgoi
ngon?
"
"Itol
dmum thatIwantt
ocomeli
vewi
thyou"he
alsosoundsl
ikeheiscr
ying.
"Andwhatbr
oughtsuchdeci
sion?
"Isi
tdownont
he
bench.
"
Becauseiwantt
[Link]'
tyouwantt
oli
vewi
thme?
"
Hesnaps.
"
Nott
hatt
one"Iwar
n.
"
Sor
ry"
"
Whathappened?
"
"Isi
mplyaskedheri
fitwaspossiblef
ormeto
changeschool
sandshecal l
edmeaspoiltbr
at.I
hateitt
her
[Link]
erentschool
"
"
Sooutoft
hebl
ueyouj
ustwantanot
herschool
?"
"
Yes.I
tsuckst
her
e"hegr
owl
ed.
"[Link]
dethattheschool
[Link] spayingfor
youtoattendthatschool
.Youcannotjustdit
chiti
n
t
heendoft
heyear
"
"
Iwassuspendedanyway"
"
Idon'
tcar
[Link]
enotchangi
ngschoolsand
t
hat'
sfi
nal
.Goapol
ogi
zetoyourmother
"Iorder
.
Hedoesn'
trepl
y.
"
Don'
tmakemer epeatmysel
fLi
[Link]
mot
heranapol
ogy"Ishout.
"Eywhat
everdude"theli
negoesdeadaf
ter
.Imake
anot
hercal
landthisti
mei t
'sAmandawhoanswer
s.
"
Wher
eisyourbr
other
?"
"
Hewentt
otheki
tchen"
"Iwantyout
ogetsomesl eep.I
'
llcomegetyouon
Fri
dayeveni
ng.I
sthatokay?"
"AndIcanhaveasleepoverwi
thCel
iwe?
"She
soundscheer
fulnow.
"Yesyoucanhaveasleepover
"If
eelf
ort
hel
adi
es
buttheywi
llbef
ine.
"
Thanksdad"
"
Getsomesl
eepnow"
"
Byedad"Icant
ellshei
ssmi
li
ngnow.
"Byemyl ove"Iendt
hecallandmakeanot herto
Nothi
[Link]
aski
nghert ocallmesowecant al
kaboutLindo'
s
behavior
.
Iwaitf
orfewminutesbutshedoesn'
tcall
.Maybe
herphoneisr
eall
yoffandsheisnotIgnor
ingme.I
walkbacktoThembeka'
sroom andfi
ndherawake
andyawning.
"
Nqubeko"sheseemssur
pri
sedt
oseeme.
"Hey"Il
eanoverandki
ssherl
[Link]
ssedme
backanditt
urnsmeon.
"
Isi
tnotl
ate?
"
"I
tisbutIcouldn'
tgohomesoIst
[Link]
feel
inggood?"Isi
tdownnextt
oherandtakeher
handtomi ne.
"I
'
mf eel
ingfi
nest
il
[Link]
ll
s"shesmi
les
[Link]
webothr emai
nqui
etforamoment .
"
Youar
egoi
nghomesoon"Iki
ssherl
ipsagai
n.
"
I'
m gl
ad.I
'
m cr
avi
ngsal
tandvi
negar
"
"Thecaf
eter
iai
[Link]
vet
othe
garaget
hough"Iof
ferandshegrins.
"Thatwoul
dbegr
eat
.Coul
dyougetmesome
peanutst
oo"
"
Noprobl
em"Igetupandthenursewal
[Link]
he
l
ookonherf
aceIcantel
lsheheardt
heli
st.
"Youcan'[Link]
hypertensi
onisalr
eadythishigh"shemeans
businessjudgi
ngbyherf ace.
"
Justgetmeaf
rui
t"shesaysdi
sappoi
ntedl
y.
"
I'
llgetyousomepeaches"Iof
ferandshenods.
"Ireal
lycan'tal
lowyoutoeatsaltandvi
negar.I
t'
s
notgoodf orthebaby"sayst
henur seapol
ogeti
call
y.
IthinkthelookonThembeka'sfaceisgett
ingtoher.
"
It
'sf
[Link]
stand"
"I
'
llbebackjustnow"Ileavetheroom anddr
ivea
shortdi
stancetothegarage.I
t'
sThembeka'slucky
daybecauseIgetsomanyf r
uit
[Link]
wil
lhavesomecomf [Link]
eal
lywishIcanget
herthesal
tandvinegarbutIhavetothi
nkaboutthe
l
it
tl
epersoninsi
deher .Ibuyunsal
tedpeanut
sand
l
eave.
*
****
***

Shestar
tswithpeanut
sandfini
shest
hem i
nablink
andmovetot heappl
[Link]
stwoandstops
bef
oreshelaughs.
"
What
?"Il
aught
oo.
"
I'
m eat
ingl
ikeahomel
essper
son"
"
Acutehomel
essper
[Link]
eeat
ingf
ort
woso
i
t'
sfi
ne"
"AndIdon'
tli
ket
hef
oodtheyar
egi
vingmeher
e"
shetur
nsdownhermout
h.
"
Theycan'
tri
skgi
vingyousal
tedfood"It
hinkIneed
t
[Link]'tri
skit
.
"
Iknow"shegi
vesmeaquest
ioni
ngl
ook.
"Whatisit
?"Icant
ellwhenshewant
stoaskme
something.
"
Areyougoi
ngt
oki
llt
hem?
"Shel
ower
shervoi
ce.
"
What
?"
"Myfamily?It
oldyouhowtheyt
reat
[Link]
e
youplanningt
ohurtthem?
"
Il
ookawaybecauseIcan'
tlookather
.Notwhen
shei
slooki
ngatmelikewantstosaysomethi
ng.
"Ican'
tjustgetpasti
[Link]
o
answerf ori
t"Ial
solowermyvoice.
"Andt
hei
rkids?Youar
egoi
ngt
otaket
hei
rpar
ent
s
awayNqubeko"
"Theydon'
tdeservet
hoseki
[Link]
ftheyar
e
abusingt
hem? "
"Idon'
tthi
[Link]
nkt heydi
di tt
ome
becauseIwasn'tt
heirchi
ld"shebitestheappl
eand
bli
nksrapi
dlytogetri
doft hetear
s.
"Thentheyshoul
dpayfori
[Link]'
twantyout
o
worryaboutit
.Justf
ocusongetti
ngbett
ersowe
cangethome"
"
Itwasal
ongt
imeNqubeko"
"S'
nqobil
eiscominghomet [Link]
llyoubeokay
wit
hherandDabul aandthekidsorIneedtomake
anotherpl
an"Ichanget
hetopic.
"Whatpl
an?Ar
eyougoi
ngt
oletherst
ayi
nyour
house?"
"[Link] [Link] dmovein
[Link] aandt heladiest
her
[Link]
i
spendhert i
mewi thMl ulekianywaysotheyshould
bef i
ne"I'
mt aki
ngachanceher eandIcanseeher
disagreei
ngont heinside.
"Wecanspendti
met oget
herbutyouhavi
ng
enoughspacewi
[Link]"
Shet
akesanot
herbi
teont
heappl
eandyawn.
"
Thi
nkabouti
t"Ipr
esson.
"
I'
llt
alkt
omycousi
nsandwewi llf
indawayto
makeitwor
k"shel
aysherheaddownandIthi
nki
t
meansno.
"
Areyougoi
ngbackt
osl
eep?
"
"
Areyougoi
ngt
ost
ay"shet
akesadeepbr
eat
hand
smi
le.
"I
'
llst
aybutaf
tersunr
[Link]
dswi
ll
needadri
vert
ot aket
hem toschool
"
"Thanksbaby"sheshift
sandi '
m al
argepersonby
naturebutImanaget osqueezemyselfnextt
oher
whilesherestherheadonmychest .

*
****
***

Phi
li

Ialmostscr
eam whenIopenmyeyest
oMl
uleki
star
ingatme.
"Sor
ryIdi
dn'tmeant oscareyou"hesmil
esand
handsmeasmal lbox"Forl
astnight
.Iwascr
uel
andyoudidn'tdeser
veit"
Isi
tupandopent
hebox.I
t'
sear
ri
[Link]
if
ul
eear
ri
ng.
"
[Link]"
"
Sowear
eokay?
"
Icloset
heboxandputi
tdownbef
oretaki
nga
pil
lowandpl
aci
ngitbet
weenmylegs.
"Ithi
nkwear efi
[Link]
uelbutorgasml
esssex
neverkil
ledanyone"Ishr
ugdramati
call
ysohecan
feelbadaboutit
.
"Iwasjustangr
yand.
..
..
"myeyescat
cht
het
imeon
hiswri
stwatch.
"Jesus.I
'mlat
[Link]
heki
dsreadyfor
school"It
hrowthepil
lowawayandgetofft
hebed.
Ievenforgott
hatIsleptnakedaf
terbei
ng
disappoi
ntedl
astnight.
"I
t'
sonlyaf
ter6"hesayscalmlyasIpickupmy
cl
othesandwearingt
het-shi
rtinsi
deout.
"Dabul
acan'
tgett
hem r
eadyhi
msel
[Link]
earl
ymorni
ng"Igr
abmyphoneandpickupmy
shoes.
Hef ol
lowsmedownst
air
sandt akehi
skeysasI
openthedoor
.Ihur
rytothecarbaref
oot
edandwai
t
forhimtounl
ocki
t.
"
Youhavecutefeet
.Il
iket
hem"Iguesshehast
ime
f
orjokessoIi
gnorehi
m andgeti
nwhenheunlock
i
t.
Idon'
teventryDabul
a.I'
velethim [Link]
d
havecamebackear l
[Link]
omi sedhimthati'
ll
al
waysputthekidsfi
rstandnowi '
m outchasinga
di
ckandf or
gett
ingmyownki ds.
"Thereisenoughti
met ogett
hem [Link]
e
freaki
ngmeout "hesaysashishandpushesmy
[Link]'tawarethatmylegistrembl
ing.
"
Ishoul
dn'
thaveoversl
ept
"

*
****
***

Wer eachthehouseinablinkthankstoMluleki
'
s
fastdri
ving.I'
m abi
tsurpr
isedtofindNqubeko'
s
carinthedr i
[Link]
eaveMl ul
ekiout
sideand
rushtothehouse.
"GuysIover
..
..
."Ist
opwhenIfi
ndt
heboyssit
ti
ng
onthecoucheatingacer
eal
andwatchi
ngcar
toons.
Theyar
ebot
hdr
essedi
nuni
for
m.
"Heyguys"Igr
eetthem [Link]
pigi
smycompet it
[Link]
eavethem andheadtothe
bedroom.
"I
sthisokay?
"AsksNqubekoashefini
shes
brushi
ngCeli
we'
shairi
ntoaneatbunny.
"[Link]
eNqubeko"shesayscheer
ful
ly
beforesheseesme"HowdoIl ookmum?"
"[Link]
"andi'
m notbei
ngapar
enther
e.
Shereall
ydoeslookgood.
"Goeatyourbr
eakf
ast
"headdsbef
oreshebounces
out.
"
Mor
ning"Igr
eetNqubeko.
"[Link]
eyougood?"HepicksupCel
iwe'
scl
othes
andputsthem ont
helaundr
ybasket
.
"I
'
m [Link]
dyougethere?"Il
ookatt
hebed.
IknowhemadeitbecauseCel
iwecan'
tmakethe
bedthi
sneat
.
"
Bef
oreDabul
alef
[Link]
thThembeka"
Inodandfol
lowhim [Link]
othekit
chen
whil
eIcheckDabul
a'[Link]
emade.
"Doyouthi
nki
'
llmakei
ttot
het
eam Uncl
eQ?
"Asks
Celi
we.
Iheartheboysl
aughaboutherpl
ayingsoccer
befor
eNqubekotel
lst
hem tostopteasi
ngthei
r
si
ster.
"Youwilldoj
ustfi
[Link]'tf
orgett
otaket
he
earr
ingsoffbef
oreplayi
ng"heinst
ruct
.
Icloset
hedoorandheadtot [Link]
ekiis
theresi
tt
ingonthecouchquietl
[Link]
nuetothe
kit
chenandfindNqubekowipingthecounterwhil
e
3lunchboxesaresit
ti
ngonthecount er.
"Youmadelunchboxes?
"Icheckwhathemadeand
hepackedsandwi
chesevenfrui
ts.
"
[Link]
iwedoesn'
tli
kecheese"heopenst
he
f
ri
dgeandtakeoutthejui
cebott
[Link]
uice
t
oo.
"
Thanks"
Hest
opsaddi
ngput
ti
ngt
hem i
nthebagsandl
ooks
atme"
Itwasnot
roubl
eatal
l"
Theboyswalki
nandputthei
rbowlsont
hecounter
.
Theyt
akethei
rbagsandgobacktothel
ounge.
"Letmegetsomecoinsforthet
uckshopvisi
t"I
hurrybacktot
hebedroom andcheckthedr
awerfor
[Link]
akesomeandgogi vei
ttothem.

*
****
***

Nqubekotakest
hekidst
oschooll
eavi
ngmeand
Mlul
ekionthehouse.
"
CanImakeyousomebr
eakf
ast
?"Iknowwel
eft
wit
houteat
ing.
"[Link]
feeforme"hesaysandInodandt
hen
headtothekit
chen.
Iboi
ltheket
tl
efi
rstandt
akeoutt
hemugs.
"Phi
li
"hespeaksbehi
ndmeandIjumpabi
t
becauseIwasn'
texpect
inghi
m.
"
Idi
dn'
tmeant
oscar
eyou"hewal
kscl
oser
.
"
It
'sf
ine"
"
DoyouthinkIcanbelikethatwi
thyourki
ds?
"He
l
eansagai
nstthecupboardnextt
ome.
"
Meani
ng?
"
"
Havet
hem seei
ngmel
iket
heyseeNqubeko"
"I
'm notfoll
owi
ng"Iam f
ollowingbutI'm sti
llt
ryi
ng
todigestthewhol
ethi
ngt [Link] s
Nqubekosohandsonwi t
ht [Link]'
teven
knowt hatheknowshowt ocombandbr ushthe
chil
d'shair.
"I
'm wit
hyouPhili
.Iknowwej ustbeganandyou
probablywantt
opr ot
ectthem butI'
dli
ketohavea
rel
ati
onshipwit
hthem.I'm nottr
yingtosuckupbut
i
t'ssomethingI
'
dliketodo"
"
TheyknowyouMl
uleki
"
"ButtheyaremoreclosertoNqubekot henme.
Don'tgetmewr ong.I
'm notbeingjeal
ous"Il
ookat
him andhesmi l
es"[Link].I
'
dli
kethat
easinesstoo"
"
Isee"
"
So?
"Hel
ooksatme.
"Iunder
standandI'l
ltr
ytohelpt
hesi
tuati
onabit
.
Justtogetthem t
othinkofyouasacooluncl
e"
"Don'
t
.I'
dli
ketohavethem warm upt
omei
nthei
r
ownterms"herai
seshiseyebr
ows.
"
Meani
ng?
"
"
[Link]
ng
f
un"hesuggest
sandInodbefor
etur
ningt
oatt
end
t
hecoff
ee.
Ipourt
womugsandgi
vehi
m hi
s.
"I'
vebeent hi
[Link] lewewer e
sleepi
[Link] lyouwer [Link] hi
nking.
Thati'dl
iketomar r
yyouPhi [Link] he
ri
ngandt iedstringonyourf ingert ogetsizewhil
e
youwer [Link] ealizedthatyoumi ght
freakoutandsayi t
'st
oosoonandt hatyouare
thinki
ngaboutt [Link] '
mt hi
nkingIshouldget
toknowt hekidst ooandseei ftheyl i
kemebef or
e
webecomeaf ami l
y"
Ichokeont
hecof
feeandspi
titont
hesi
nk.A
coughf
oll
owswhi
lehegent
lehi
tsmyback.
"Sor
[Link]
dn'
tmeantoscar
[Link]
ustdon'twant
towastetoomuchti
mewhenIknowt hatIwantto
bewithyou"
Chapt
er85

Nqubeko.

Iorderanot herdri
nkandwat chMl ulekiashebl ow
thesmokei ntocir
clesbef oreitf
[Link]
keepsshaki nghisheadashedoest his.I
t'sapower
[Link], womenhaveacer t
ai npower
i
nt [Link] ndthatmovesunmovabl et hingsand
theydoso, soeasil
[Link] i
nywomanwi th
sharpeyesandshewal ksi nspeedl ikeshei s
alwaysr ushingsomewher [Link] uleki are
twodifferentpeoplef r
om t wodifferentwor l
dsbut
astinyasshei shasmanagedt omoveMl ulekiinto
atightcornerandl efthimf eeli
ngl ostandpat heti
c.
"
Shedi
dn'
tsayno"Iaddandhegi
vesmet
he
[Link]
ookawayandpushlaughteraway
becausehemi ghthur
tmeifIkeepr
ubbinghis
wounds.
"Shedidn'
texact
lyj
umpf orj
oy"her
epl
ieswi
th
annoyanceonhistone.
"
Becauseyoudi
dn'
texact
lypr
[Link]
menti
onedit
"
"Andshecouldn'
tevenhidet hatshedoesn'twantto
mar r
[Link], shebecamecol dandr emoved.
Ifel
tli
keIhadcrossedani nvisi
blel
inesomewher e"
[Link] sphoner i
ngsandhel ooksat
i
t"It'
sAphi
[Link] s"hefr
owns
beforeheanswers.
Aphiwei sal adyMlulekihiredforpublicrelat
ions
bul
[Link] hingslikepartyinvi
tedwher e
Mlulekihast obethispr [Link]
al
sohandl esthenegativepubl i
cit
yhesomet imes
getswhensomeonedeci destolettheskeletonsout.
Shedoesn' tcallhi
m oftenunl essthereis
somet hingheneedst odor egardi
ngt hepublic.
"
Rightnow?
"Hel
ooksr
eal
lypi
ssedof
fnow.
Myphoneal sori
ngsandit'
[Link]
quickl
ybecausesheisst
il
latt
hehospitalsoi
t
couldbereall
yimpor
tant
.
"Di
dyout hreat
enClementi
nhishouse?Int
he
middleofthenightwi
thhi
skit
chenknif
eanda
gun?"Sheisyelli
ng.
Thatspi
nel
esswi
[Link]
dhaveki
ll
edhi
minhi
s
sl
eep.
"HowcouldyouNqubeko?Whenwil
lthi
sobsessi
on
stop?"Shei
sscreami
ngandIcanhearanurse
tel
li
nghertocal
m down.
"
Ifyouhurthi
mI'
l
lneverfor
[Link]"sheends
t
hecall
.Ihavemywifeback.
"Youhavethatunsett
li
ngsmil
eonyourfaceandit
scaresme"saysMl ul
ekit
urni
ngouthi
scigar
ett
e.
"Cl
ementrantoThembekaandtol
dher
.Shej
ust
yel
ledatme"Iputmyphoneawayanddownthe
dri
nkbefor
epull
ingoutmywall
et.
"Andt
hatmakesyouhappybecause?
"Hedownhi
s
owndri
nkandgetsup.
"Becausethat'
[Link]
ikeherli
kethi
s"I
countthenotesandpayf
orthedrinksbef
orewe
l
eave.
"Didyouknowaboutt heCast lefundr
aisi
ngpart
y.I
don'tevendrinkCastl
[Link]'tgetwhyIshouldbe
[Link]'
tbenefi
tfr
om t hem andit
'snotmy
sceneatal l
"hesoundsr eall
ypissedof.
"Sother
eisacast l
efundr
aisi
ngpartyt
hatyouare
for
cedtogot o"It
[Link]
nodssoIcont i
nue,"
Youneedt ohaveapart
ner,
wearasuitandmakessmal ltal
ks?"
"Andtal
kaboutsomedumbl ocalpr
ojectt
hat
supposedt
ohel ptheyouthandgetsthem of
fthe
drugsandothernonsensetheygetupto"hewaves
hishandashet al
ks.
"
Helpi
ngacommunit
yisreal
l
ypissi
ngyouof
f"I
t
easeasweappr
oachthecar.
"
[Link]
yoneist
alki
ngabout
won'
tgetofft
hestreet
sbecauseofsomepr oj
ect
s
t
hatwil
lexhaustt
[Link]
calhel
p"
"
Suchas?
"Whendi
dhest
artbei
ngsoi
nvol
vedi
n
t
heset
hings?
"[Link],mot hersoreven
oldersibl
ingswhocar eandwant stohel pt hem.
Pour i
ngmoneyont heseprojectwon' [Link]
theywon' tevenhelpastruggli
ngf atherraisehis
[Link] edonat i
ngtokeept hefatguyf atandthe
struggli
ngpar ti
esworsethanbef ore"heopenst he
passengersi deandIletoutabr eathbecauseIdon' t
trusthisdrivi
ng.
Igeti
nthedr
iver
sseatandst
artt
hecar
.
"Soyoudon'
twantt
ohel
pmakemoneyf
ort
he
proj
ect
?"
Hegivesmethe'youarebei
ngr
idi
cul
ous'
lookand
l
ight
sanotherci
garet
te.
"Pl
easeopent
hewi
ndow"Ir
emi
ndhi
m aswedr
ive
off
.
"Pl
usPhiliwon'
tevencomewit
[Link]
becauseIhatearr
ivi
ngal
one.I
tgivespeopl
ea
chancetotal
ktomeandIhavet oactli
keI'
m
i
nterest
ed"
"Tryher
.Shemightsurpri
seyou"Iadvi
ceandhe
givesmeaglancebeforeblowi
ngthesmokeout
.
Ideci
det
ost
opt
alki
ngunt
ilwegett
othehospi
tal
.
Mlul
ekist
aysoutsi
det
osmokeanotherci
gar
ett
e
whil
eIheadtothewar
dtodealwi
thThembeka.

*
****
***

I
'
m notsur
pri
sedtofi
ndClementi
nThembeka'
s
r
[Link]
isf
iedgr
inonhi
sface.
"Don'teventouchme"saysThembekabutherf ace
doesn'[Link]
doesn'twantt obet ouchedyoucanseei ti
nher
eyesbutt odayi t'
sjustempt ywordssoIleanover
andki ssherli
[Link] ssesmebackandIr ai
semy
eyesabi ttolookatCl ement .HelooksawayandI
focusonsucki ngThembeka' slipsandtongueunti
l
shest art
stor elaxinmyar [Link]
throatandIwantt oyell'Yes'i
nClement'
sfacebut
thatwon'tbegent l
emanl ike.
Shepul l
[Link]
andififwasn'
tfort
hefoolIwoul
ddoherr ighther
e
[Link]'tappr
eci
ateifIconti
nue
whil
eCl ementi
swatchi
ng.
"Whenareyoucominghome?
"Isi
tdownandt
ake
herhandst
omi ne.
"
I'
m hopi
ngt
omor
row"
"GoodbecauseIhavesomethingforustodo.
Somethi
ngyouwi l
lli
ke"Iam l
yingbutIcanst
il
ldo
somethi
ngandsur pr
iseherwhenshecomeshome.
"Suchas?"Shesmil
esandIcan'thel
pbutst
areat
[Link]
Clementneedstogetl
ostf
orreal.
"I
fItel
lyoui
twon'tbeasurpr
iseanymore"Ireal
ly
needtodosomethingt
otal
lyoutofthi
sworldbut
what?
"Isee"shesit
supandItouchherbell
y.I
tgr
ew
sinceshehasbeenhereandIloveit
.Ourown
personisgrowingandsoonwewillgett
oseehi
m
orherbuti'
mt hinki
ngi
t'
sdef
ini
tel
yaher.
"If
eltsomemovement sagai
nt hi
smor ni
[Link]
buttheyaret
here"shegetsthi
sanimatedlookon
herfaceandIcatchClementstar
ingather.
"
Soonwewi
llbeget
ti
ngki
cked"Ibendoverandki
ss
i
t.
"
Ithi
nksheiscarryi
ngagi r
l"saysClementoutof
t
[Link]'
thereali
zethatheisnotpartoft
he
[Link] si
derwhor ef
usestoleavemy
womanalone.
"
Nooneaskedyou"Ir
epl
yandThembekapushes
myhead.
"Don'[Link]
ementi
smyf
ri
endandyouowe
him anapol
ogy"
"[Link]
nt"how
coul
dshefor
getsoeasi
ly.
"
AndIunder
stoodandIf
orgavehi
m"
"Idon'tt
rusthi
m andbecauseofthathei
snot
all
owednearyou"IlookatClementandheisst
il
l
wearingthisgr
[Link].
"
AyboNqubekoyoudon'
tgett
o..
..
..
"
"Heyguys"i
nter
ruptsVusiwal
kingi
nfol
lowedby
ThubaandKhethelo.
"Gents"I'
m sur
pri
[Link]
elyI
'vebeen
neglecti
ngthefri
endshi
[Link]
eall
yneedtodobetter
.
"Wearenotheref
[Link]
hear
dyouwer eatt
hehospi
tal
"saysThubasmil
ing
atThembeka.
"I
'
m bett
[Link]"shesmi
lesandThuba
givesmethej
udginglook.
"Mywifewasher
eandshement i
onedseeingyou
andhiminher
[Link]
oldus"saysKhethel
o
pushi
ngmeawaysohecanbei nfrontofher.
"Heiswrongf
ornottel
li
ngyouguys"says
Thembekacheer
ful
.Ithi
nkwemighthaveamen
probl
em i
nourhands.
"
Ineedcoff
[Link]
se?
"AsksCl
ementoutof
t
heblue.
"I'
l
lcomewi t
hyou"[Link]
eatthem
ast heyfol
loweachot [Link]
shis
throatfi
rstandKhethelogiveshim aknowingsmil
e.
"St
opit.I
t'
soff
ensiveandyouknowhowsensi ti
ve
Vusii
saboutthesethi
ngs"saysKhethel
oashis
handtouchesThembeka'st
ummy." Hell
other
e"
Thembekagi
ggl
es.
"Soareyouexcit
edaboutt
his?
"AsksThuba
point
ingthepr
egnancy.
"Veryexci
ted"thatsetsherofft
otal
kingaboutthe
thi
ngsshehasgoogl [Link]
ngsshei sl
ooki
ng
forwardtoandwonder [Link]
ist
entoher
asshegoesonandonaboutever yt
[Link]
thi
sbabywi llf
inal
lyhealanyunhealedwoundshe
mighthaveont heinside.

*
***
***
***
**

Thembeka

Theguysleavet
hehospit
alaft
erthenursehas
comesixti
mestoaskthem tokeepitdownand
theni
ntheendsheremindedusthatitwasn'
teven
vi
sit
[Link].I
nappedforawhi l
eonlytowakeupt oPhilisi
tt
ing
nexttomecr yi
[Link]
et hekidsbut
shesmilesandtellmeshei sbeingsil
ly.
"
Tel
lmemor
e"Ipr
essonwhi
lesi
tt
ingup.
"Mlul
ekiwant
stomarr
yme"shelet
'soutasoband
cover
sherfaceast
hetear
spourout.
"
Andyouar
ecr
yingbecause?
"
Shewi
pesherwetfacewithat
issueandl
ooksat
mebuthereyesar
esti
llf
il
li
ngup.
"
Becausei
'
m scar
ed"shewhi
sper
s.
"Ofwhat
?"I'
m bei
ngimpat
ientbutIcan'
thel
pit.I
needtoknowifIneedt
ostarthat
ingMlul
ekiornot.
"Becausewej uststart
edandIdon'
twantt ogethurt
.
YouknowMl uleki
.Iam nothi
[Link]
couldmeetsomei nter
est
ingwomanoutt her
eand
l
oveher .Thenwhataboutme?Theki ds?"Shecries
mor e.
"Cal
m [Link]
ngmeemot i
onalandthat
can'
tbegoodifIwantt
oleavet
hispl
acetoday"
Shesmi
lesandwi
pet
het
ear
s.
"Haveyoutol
dMl
ulekit
his?
"Iaskandsheshakes
herhead.
"
Ican'
t.I
'
m scar
ed"sher
epl
ies.
"
Ofwhat
?Isheabusi
ngyou?"NowIam alar
med.
Whywoul
dshebescaredofever
ythi
ngabouthi
m?
"Nohei snot.I
t'
[Link]' tt
hinkI
permanentlyfi
tinMluleki'
sworldandhecoulddr
op
meanyt [Link]
'sf
acei [Link]
hingandhehas
everyt
hing"sheshrugs.
Iunder standherfear
[Link] vorcedNqubeko
thingscoul dhavegonebadr eal
lyfastifNqubeko
didn'[Link] dhavel ef
tthe
mar ri
agewi thmyqualif
icat
iononlyandshedoesn' t
evenhavet hat
.
"Ihavenot
hingt
oof
fert
heguybesi
desex"she
adds.
"
Whatel
sedoyouwantt
oof
fer
?"Iask
"
Idon'
tknow"sher
epl
ies.
"
Youof
fermemor
[Link]
veme
sexandIwoul dn'twanttomarrythem forthat
.I'
m
sor r
yyoudon' thavelotsofmoneyt ooffermebutI
am notl ooki
ngf [Link] ferme?
Youof [Link] t
hyouinknowIhavea
homeandbel ongt [Link]'swhatyouof fer
meandnoamountofsexcoul dtopt hat
"says
Ml ulekiatthedoor .Webothjumpedbecausewe
didn'thearhim comei nandwedon' tknowhow
muchhehear d.
Hewalksinandpusht hedoorcl [Link]
i
ntenset
hannor malbutthenagai nMlulekihasthis
weir
dthi
ngabouthi [Link]'texactl
ydescr i
beitbut
Iknowpeoplefeeli
tbecausewhenhewal ksinthey
l
ookathim andpausewhat evertheywer edoingas
i
fhehasthateffectonthem.
"Ihadnoideayoufeelt
[Link]
dn'
ttel
lme"
hetakesherhandandpullherup.
"
Ididn'
twantt
osounddr
amat
ic"shewhi
sper
sand
l
ooksdown.
"
Lookatme"hecommandsandIf i
ndmyself
l
ooki
ngathi
mt oo."
Nevereverl
etmehearyousay
youcanonl [Link] 've
beenhavi ngsexsi nceIwas14Phi lisosexwoul d
nevermakemepr oposetoawomanandwantt o
parentherki [Link] hingsf or
awomant hatIonlyviewasmybedr oom pleasur e.
Ift
hatwast hecaseIwoul dpayyouf orservicebutI
don'[Link]
veyoumoneybecauseIwantt hingst obe
easierforyouwhenyoupur [Link]'snot
paymentf orsex"
Shenodsandl
ookdownagai
n.
"Lookatme"hedemandswhil
elif
ti
ngherchi
[Link]
l
ooksupandnod."Sayitoutl
[Link]
underst
and?"
"Yes"sher
epli
esandhel
eansdownbef oreki
ssing
herli
[Link]
ookawaytogi
vethem pr
ivacyandlook
againwhentheyar
edone.
"
Dammi tPhi
li
.I'
vebeengoingoutofmymi ndt
ryi
ng
t
of i
gur
eoutwher eIwentwrong"hesnapsand
wraphi
sarmsar oundher.
"
Itwasj
ustme"shewhi
sper
s.
"
Wehavet
odealwi
thal
lthatbutf
ornowIhavet
his
r
ubbi
shfunct
iontoat
tendandyouneedtoget
r
eadybabybecauseI
'
m notgoi
ngalone"
"
Toni
ght
?"Sheaskandhenods.
"
Youhaveexactl
yt [Link]'
t
wor
ryaboutt
heki [Link] aof
fer
ed
t
obabysi
t"helooksathiswrist
watch.
"I
nthatcaseIhavetogo"shel
ooksatmeandI
can'
thelpbutsmil
e.
"
GoodplusIneedyoutolearnhowt onetwork.
Whenyougointobusi
nessyouwi l
lneedsuchski
ll
s.
MaKhumalo,
wewi l
lseeyout omorrow"hesaysto
mebefor
ehepicksupPhili
'sjacketandhandbag.
"Havef un"Ican'thel pbutfeelhappyf [Link]
doesneedt ochillandl ett
heuniver setakecareof
herbutwehavet ot alkmoreabouthergoi ngi nt
o
[Link] stoofferherthenwe
needt otakeever ythingheisof f
ering.

*
***
***
***
***
**
Phi
li

Ifeelhot .Nothotasi nhotchi ckbuthotasi nI'm

mel ti
ngi nthisdressandi t
'snotevenheavy
mat er i
[Link] nervousandt hemakeupmakesi t
wor se.I'm dressedi nbot tl
egr eendr esst hathad
somet hingthatlooksl ikediamondsoni tbutit
snot.
Itshinesi nthedar kandIhaveal ongweavei nmy
[Link] eneededbecauset hedr essis
tool ongandi nmynor malhei ghti twilllookweird.
It'
sat i
ghtfitt
ingdr esst hatgivesmehi psand
makesmyst omachl ookssmal lerthankst othe
bodyshaperIwor eunder neat [Link] heass
andt hetightthatgi veanassl if
tcamei [Link]
thingi sI'm wearingat hongandIcanf eelitinmy
ass.
"
Nowyoucango"saysMavi
saf
tershei
sdone
r
eappl
yingmyl
ipst
ick.
"
Iwon'
tfal
l"It
ryt
ost
andst
rai
ghtbuti
'
m ner
vous.
"
Youwon'
t"Shesaysasi
fshecanmakesofi
t.
"
Okay"It
akemycl
utchandheaddownst
air
s.
Mlul
ekii
sst
andi
ngneart
hedoorandhewal
kst
o
t
hestair
swhenIst
andatt
hetop.
"Wemightst
ayf
orexact
lyf
ivemi
nut
es"hesaysas
hecomesuptot
akemyhandandleadsmedown
thest
air
s.
"[Link]
eachmetominglel
ike
businesspeopl
e"Ihol
dhimti
ght
eronthelastst
air
.
"
Youwon'
tfal
l"heki
ssesmycheek.
"
Youbet
tercat
chmei
fIdo"
"Al
lthet
ime"hesaysi
naser
ioust
oneandIgo
qui
et.

*
*

Thepl [Link] eservingbeerand

[Link] newhileMlulekitakesabeerand
thenwewal kf
urtheri
[Link] riscoolinsidesoI
don'tworryaboutmel t
[Link]
towar [Link]
himj udgi
ngbyt hecheerfulgreetweget .Theladi
es
wit
ht hem st
artcomplimenti
ngmydr essandIhave
t
osmi l
eandtrytorememberwher eitcamefr
om.
WhenIment ionthedesignertheyalllook
i
mpr essedbythatandIf eel
betterbecausei
t
meanst heyarenotjudgi
ngme.
Ml ul
ekiandt hemanst artt
alkingaboutt hestateof
theeconomi [Link] al
kabouthowt heyout hcanbe
helpedoutt hest reetsandIcanseet hatmostof
thesemenar enott hinki
ngaboutt heyout h
benefit
ingont [Link] eallaboutt hemselves
benefit
[Link] ulekimovesusandi ntroducemet o
anothergr [Link] sonei sfullofyoungerpeopl e.I
thinkit
'sthosepeopl ewhoar ebornint ori
ch
famili
eswher etheydon' twor ryaboutf i
ndingwor k.
Theyar etalkingabouthowpoorpeopl ekeephavi ng
kidsandexpect ingt hegovernmentt ohel prai
se
[Link] adiesseem t oagreeandIcan' thelp
mysel f
.
"Maybei
t'
sti
mepeopledir
ectt
heprobl
em wher
eit
shoul
dbegoing"Ichi
pinandt
heyalll
ookatme.
"Meani
ng?"OneguyasksandIcant
ellhei
sthe
arr
ogantt
ype.
"Meaninghavingkidsi spartofl
if
[Link]'t
stophavingkidsbecauset heeconomyi sbadwhi l
e
richpeoplewil
lcontinuehavingseveral
[Link]
doesn'tseem fai
[Link]
ies,
theyneededucat i
onandbyeducat i
onIdon'tmean
teachi
ngt hem hardlabourli
kepeoplealwaysthink
thewayt ohelpcommuni t
iesist
omaket hem work
thegarden"Mlulekiplacesahandonmyback.
"
Sowhatel sei
sthereforahighschooldr
opout
wit
h6kidsandnoski l
[Link]
lshehasisgrant
money"saysanotherl
adyfli
cki
ngherweave.
"Thefir
stquest
ioniswhydi
dshedropout?Most
dropoutbecausetheyar
ealr
eadyl
ivi
ngInpover
ty"
Iargue.
"Pl
[Link]
eisafeedi
ngschemei
nmost
school
s"someoneadds.
"Soyoucangoadayononespoonofr iceanda
cupofsoup?Eveni njai
ltheygetmorethanthat.
Thef eedi
ngschemeyouar etal
kingaboutonly
[Link]
esurvive
eatingonce,at10andyournextmealisthenext
dayat10yetyouareexpectedtopassandgoto
var
sit
y"Icanfeel
myvoi cegett
ingemoti
onal
.
Ther
eissomesi l
enceandawai
tercomesoverwi
th
[Link]
hehal
fdrankgl
assto
hi
m andtakethebeer.
"That'
swhypoorpeopleshoul
dn'
thavekidsthey
can'taf
ford.I
fwehavekidswecan'
taffor
dwear e
subject
ingthem t
othat
"sayst
hearrogantguy.
"Andifyoudieandl eavet
hem al
one?Should
soci
etykil
lthem becausetheyar
enowor phans?
"I
askandhel ooksannoyed.
"That'
sadiffer
entstor
[Link] nfacti
sthat
thesestupi
dwomenkeephavi ngthesekidsand
expecttorecei
vemoneyf rom [Link]
call
y
wear epayingtofeedstupi
dwoment hekidsfr
om
diff
[Link] sebi
rthcontr
olisfree"
"
Andithasneveroccur r
edt
oyout hatmenhave
morekidsthant
hest upi
dwomenyouar eblaming
f
orparenti
ngherkid?[Link]
manymenhaveki dswi t
hdi
ffer
entwomenwhi lea
womanhasoneki dwi t
hsomeloserwhol ef
tto
rai
set
heki
dalone"Ml
ulekidoesn'
tmovehi
shand
onmyback.
"
Areyouar
ethet
inyf
emi
nistwi
th.
..
."
"Watchit
"war
nsMlul
ekiandt
heguyl ookswounded.
Iguesshecan'
tar
guewellwi
thoutr
esorti
ngto
i
nsults.
"Sowhatdoyout hi
nkshoul
dbedone?"Asksan
elderl
ylooki
ngl
adywhohasbeenobservi
ngina
distance.
"Ithinkinsteadofbl ami ngpeopl ef orhavi ngkids
weshoul df ocusonhel pingpeopl ewithski ll
sand
l
ear ntohol dmanr esponsi blefort heraisingkids
par t
.Insteadofgi vingpeopl eint hepoor
communi tiestractorst oplantweshoul dgi vethem
achancet oplantandbuyf rom [Link]' tgive
peopl espinacht opl antandt hennotbuyt he
[Link] esayi ngtheyneedt o
plantf ortheirownst omachsandl ifeisnotabout
eatingi nthegar dent her estofyourl i
[Link] e
needt [Link] vet hem somet hingthatwi l
l
gener atemoneyf ort hem andt hent heycaneati n
thei
rgardenswhentheyneedveget
abl
es"i
'
m
almostoutofbr
eathasIexplai
n.
"
Whatot
herski
lldoyouhavei
nmi
nd?
"Sheasks.
"Itcouldbesomet hingl ikedesi [Link] hem
designabr andofcl othest hatwi l
lsellandt he
communi tywillbenef i
tf rom [Link] acooki ng
pr oj
ects,makecol legesaccessi bletopeopl ei
n
poorcommuni ti
esnott hatt heyneedt oleavehome
andcomet otheci tyonl yt ofeellonelyand
neglectedandbei ngt oldt heyneedmoneyandt hen
theirsoluti
onist odr opout .Givet hem mor eand
thenmakemenr aiset heki dst [Link] hese
kidsarej ustcryi
ngf orat tenti
on"
ShenodsandIsipthebeer
.Bigmi st
ake.I
ttast
es
real
lybadandIwanttospi
titoutbutMlul
ekiki
sses
mylipsandI'
mforcedtoswall
ow.
"Soyourbigsol
uti
onist ospendmoremoney
helpi
ngkidswhowoul dn'tbeaprobl
em ifthei
r
parent
susedprotect
ion?"Asksthearrogantguy.
"[Link]
'shersol
uti
[Link]
ledgrade11
andyourfatherhadtopaytheschooltot
akeyou
backaftertheyfeltyouwer etoool dtobedoing
[Link] entsmoneyi stheonlyreason
youareher [Link] dbeahi ghschool
dropoutwi thnoskill
[Link]'tactlikeyougothereon
hardwor kandwel lplannedlif
[Link]
youwoul dbel ef
twi t
hnot hi
ngtoo"saysMl ulekihi
s
voicesoundingcooll i
kehei snott el
li
ngtheguyof f
.
"
YouandIneedtotal
[Link] tohave
t
hingsi
nyourheadandIwanttoknowital
l"says
t
heladygi
vingmeacard.
"
I'
llhaveAphiwecal
lyouf
orameet
ing"says
Mlulekismi
li
ngatme.
"[Link]
etmet akehersoIcani
ntr
oduce
hertosomeladi
es"shetakesmyhandandMluleki
nodsbeforehet
akesthebeerinmyhand.

*
***
***
***
***

Ihaven'
ttal
kedl
iket
[Link]
adygat
her
ed
somanyl adi
esandtheyal
lli
stenedtomeasI
spokeaboutt her ealchal lengespoorpeopl ef ace
andi t'
snotj ustt hem maki ngbabi [Link]
mor epr essingi ssuesandt hesol utionisnotj ust
birthcont [Link] adi eslist
enst art
talki
ngaboutpr ojectswecandoi nallprovi
ncest o
helpf amiliesandupl iftcommuni ti
[Link]
feeltouchedbecausewhenIwasbackhome
struggli
ngwi thmybr otherIwi shedsomeonecoul d
offermesomet hi
ngt okeepourl i
vesgoi [Link]
beungr at efulbutbeansandspi nachdoesn' thelp
whenyouhaveasi ckchi ldt hatneedsadoct or.
Veget ablesdon' tmat terwhent her eisastorm
blowingyourhouse.I nt heendget t
ingtherooff i
xed
[Link] tyneedsamoney
maki ngschemet hatwi llbenef itthem forawhi l
e
notsomet hingt hatwi llbenef i
tonl yaf ewandt he
restwi l
lbepai dinbeansandcar rots.
Theeveni
ngendswithfewspeechesf rom people
whousebigwordsandt al
kabouthowmucht hey
havedonat
edinthei
rfavouri
techari
ti
[Link]
someofthesedonat
ionsdon'tevenreachwher e
theyar
esent.
Thedinneri
sservedandweal
lsi
tdowntoeat
.
Mlul
ekikeepsl
ookingatmeasheeat
s.
"What?DoIhavesomet
hingonmyface?
"Ial
most
pickupaspoonanduseitasami
rr
or.
"
[Link]
oveyou"her
epl
iesandIsmi
le.
"Il
oveyoutoo"Ir
eplyandhesmilesbef
orehe
[Link]
nueeat
ingwhil
ehedoesn'
t
removehi
shand.
Themaincoursei
sf oll
owedbydessertandt hen
peopl
estar
tmovingt othedancefl
[Link]
nextt
omesuggestwegodanceabi t
.Iwantt o
ref
usebutIfor
cemysel ft
[Link]'
snotbreakyour
backki
[Link]
her e
swayi
ngsidetosi
det othesound.
Ifoll
owherandshei sfriendl
[Link]'tgethername
butshement i
onsbeingmar r
iedyoungt oaman
thatint
roducedhert othesethingsandhow
somet i
mesi tcanbel onelybecauseherf r
iendsar
e
singl
eandshei [Link] [Link]
s
greyintheheadandhedoesl ooklikeheiscloset
o
reti
ri
[Link]'tthinkhermar ri
ageisbad
becausei'
vewatchedthemanlookatherl
ikesheis
[Link]
ull
yheisnotpr
etendi
ngtobeal ovi
ng
husband.
Wedanceunti
lIf
eelahandonmybackandthat
makesmestop.I
t'
sMlul
ekiandhel
ookssl
eepy.
"
Keepst
il
l"hewhi
sper
sinmyear
.
Idon'
tmoveandIf
eel
somet
hingpoki
ngmyback.
"I
t'syourf
ault
.Yourassint
hisdr
ess"herepl
iesand
placehishandonmysi det
okeepmest i
ll
.
"
Youshoul
dn'
thavel
ooked"Iar
gue.
"Youshouldn'
[Link]
vemeamomentt
o
calm down"hekissedmyneck.
"
Don'tf
orgett
ocal
l"t
hel
adyr
emi
ndsmeasshe
wal
kspast.
"
Iwon'
t"Ismi
leatherf
eel
ingl
ikeast
atue.
"Weshoul
dgo.I
t'
snotcal
mingdown"hesays
qui
etl
y.
"
Idon'
tmi
ndl
eavi
ng.I
tsbeenf
un"
"
Can'
tsayt
hesamef
orNt
[Link]
ushedhi
s
ego"helaughsandstar
tsguidingmefor
ward.I
moveslowlysohecanwal [Link]
separat
ewhenwegett otheexi t
.Hei
sdefi
nit
ely
hardandit'
sembarr
assing.
"
Youhaveanappet
it
eforsex"IcommentasIsl
ide
i
nthecar
.
"Youmakemel i
kethi
[Link] t
houteven
tryi
ngandIenjoyyou"hegivesmeaki ssandclose
[Link]
ookoutthewindowandspotNt obeko.
Hei sonthephonebuthedoesl ookatmewhenI
stareathi
[Link]'thel
[Link]
nkhe
hatesmenow.
"
Iguesshei
scal
li
ngdaddy"
saysMl
uleki
get
ti
ngi
n
t
hecar.
"
Ithi
nkhehat
esme"
"[Link] snotusedtobebeing
chall
[Link]
ltki
[Link]
yisfear
edin
Ntuzuma"nowi '
m [Link]'
thetel
lmet
his
befor
eIgotintoadebat ewit
hhim.
"St
opgri
ndi
ngyourteet
[Link]
earedInNt
uzuma
notbyme.I
fhetr
iessomethingi
'l
lkil
landt
herest
ofhi
sfamil
y"hest
art
sthecarandwel
[Link]
ook
backandheiswat
chi
ngthecar.
"
Youdomeant
hat
?"Iaskandhel
aughs.
"
Foryou,
Icanki
llever
yonei
nDurban"hei
sst
il
l
l
aughi
ngbutIt
hinkhemeansit
.
Chapt
er86
Phi
li
.
Iwakeupcover edinsweatbecauseMl ulekisl
ept
withhisar msandl [Link] ri
edtoget
awayf rom hisgr i
phedr aggedmebackandmade
thi
spr otesti
ngnoi sethewhol [Link]
gavei nandsl eptlockedinhi sgr i
p.“Mor ning”he
greetsandki ssmycheek.“ Mor ni
ng”Ir ubmyeyes
andsi [Link]’
swaypastsunr iseandI ’
ml ate
again.“Beforeyoupani candr unout ,
I’vecalled
Nqubekoandhedoesn’ tmi nddoingt hemor ni
ng
runwi [Link] l
lhavebr eakfastand
tal
kf orabi t
”hesmi l
esandl [Link] ol
low
aswebot hheadt ot hebat [Link] ace
whilehebr usheshi steeth.“So, whatar ewet al
king
about ?”Iwipewi t
hadr yt owelwhi lehehandsme
myt oot hbr ush. “Areyouki ddi
ngme?Gi r lwhatyou
didlastni ghtshowedmeasi deofyouIdi dn’tknow
andIwantt ohearal laboutit
”hesmi lesandki ss
myl ips. “Iwasj ustshar ingwhatIwi shsomeone
haddonef [Link] est ruggl ingbackat
homet hingsl ikegar densdidn’thel [Link]
hadot herpr obl emsandwewer ebot hcr avingsome
assistantonwhatwecandot ohel pour selves.
Imagi net ellingsomeonewhoal readyhaveki dsthat
theyshoul dn’ [Link] llthatdo?I t
doesn’ thel pt heper sonatal l
.Thi ngsl iket hinking
aboutt henumberofki dsshouldbeadvi sedt okids
event henj ustf indawayt omaket hem seenott o
tellt
hem t heywi llamountt onot [Link] e
breaki ngt hem downt [Link] eneedt oknow
thatyoucanadvi sewi t
houtinsul t
ing, bef irm
withoutcr uel t
yandwhensayi ngsomet hingwi th
kindnessi t’srecei vedbet tert
hant heyel li
ng”Ist op
talki
ngwhenhei sst ari
ngatmewi t
ht hisgr i
nonhi s
face.“Youar egor [Link] eso, whenyou
getal lpassi onat eaboutt heset [Link] egoing
farPhi liandIam l uckyt ogettoshar et hiswi th
you”Ican’ thel pbutsmi l
eandcont inuet obr ushmy
t
eet
h.
*
****
****
****
***
Mlulekimakesusbr eakf astandbur nt heeggsbutI
sti
lleatbecausehei shappyandI ’mf eelinggood
aboutmysel [Link] shesbef ore
someonear rivesandMl ul ekiletst hem i [Link]’sa
[Link] allwomanf ullofconf identevenherl ong
str
[Link] lesandhugmebef oreshe
shakesMl uleki’
shand.“ Thi si sAphi [Link] sher
e
totalktoyouabout ….”Het rail
sof fasi funsur e
whatt osay. “Myjobi st omakeyounotj ustl ook
goodbutsoundgoodandgetyoui nt opl aceswher e
youwi l
lleaveyourmar k”shesoundssosur eof
herself
.“Why? ”Iaskbecauset herei snot hing
wrongwi t
hmyl [Link] ooksatMl uleki andhe
smi l
esbef orehet akesmyhandt ohi [Link] ol
lowhi m
totheloungeevent hought her eishar dlyany
pri
vacy.“ Iknowyouar ef eelingambushedbut
Aphiwedoest hepublicr elat i
ont [Link] ps
mekeept hebusi nessmani nmeal [Link] obisto
makeyoul ookgoodandal somakesur ethatyou
spendl esst i
mewi t
hl essi mpor t
antpeopl [Link]
businessnet worksi deofthingsislargePhi
liand
peoplegetsi de-t
[Link] efr
eshface
andyouhavef r
eshi [Link] l
lwantyouand
somenott ohelpyourpr ojectbuttomi l
ktheener gy
[Link] wehel pswiththat”InodbutI’m not
[Link] akesmyhandandl eadmebackt o
her.“Al
lyour sAphi we”hesayst oherandt hehead
backupst air
s.
*
*** *
***
* *
***
Weheadt ot hel oungeandsi [Link] l
sout
herdi aryandst artt ell
ingmeaboutpar ti
esIhavet o
attendt omeetr eali nvest [Link] istcompani es
thatIcanappr oachf orsomef [Link]
ent oher
asshespeakandwi shIcanspeakl [Link] ull
ofconf i
dentandspeakl i
keIdon’ tf
earsoundi ngl i
ke
afr ustrat
edr ant .Anhourpassesbef or
eshei sdone.
Shepr omi sest ocal landar rangeameet i
ngwi t
h
Mel issa,thel adyf rom l astni ght
.Ithankherf ort hat
andt henmakeament alnot et ohaveacl ear
proposalf ormyi [Link] wel eavesandIgo
upst airstoMl ulekiandf i
ndhi m ont [Link]
endst hecal landki ssmyl i
[Link] sshi m backand
hetakesust obedwi thmest raddlinghi m.“
That
wasmyf i
nanceguyandIwantt of undyourpr oj
ect.
Hewant saf or
malpr oposalandonl ythenIcan
startpouringmoneyi n”hepul lsmyheadcl oserand
startkissingmyneck.“ I
’mthinkingaboutaddi ng
ThembekaandS’ nqobi l
etothemi [Link] hr
eeofus
together”Isuggestwhi letr
yingt of i
ghtthemood
awaybecauseI ’
mt ur
[Link] dn'thavesexlast
nightevent houghwel eftt
hepar tywi t
hhim
standingf [Link] heti
mewemadei tbackhewas
nolongert urnedonandIwast hinkingabout
Ntobekoandhi sfearedfamily.
"Anyt
[Link]
s
worki
ngout?"Hepul
ltheelast
icofmyshor
tsand
sli
phishandin.
"I'
mt hi
nkingthi
sl argecompanyt hatwillhel
pto
uplif
tthecommuni [Link]' tbuil
da
companyf r
om scr atchandhavei tmakingpr ofi
tin
ayearbuti '
m hopingi tcanemployaver ylargepart
ofthecommuni t
y"Ipl acemyhandsonhi s
[Link] lesandcont i
nueto
[Link] alkinguntilt
ryi
ngtogetmyi dea
i
ntoal ar geclearpicturet hathecanseehi mself.I
knowi t'sgoingt obechal lengingandi'm scaredbut
ther
ei ssomet hingbrewi nginsidemeandi twants
tocomeout .Ml ulekil
istensandkeepsnoddi ngto
everythingwhi lehisfinger skeeptouchi
ngmeunt i
lI
am ridingthem t oclimax.
Hehol
dsmet i
ghtwhenIfi
nal
lycl
imaxandt
hen
f
li
pusoversoheisaboveme.
"
Sowe'
vef
indyourpassi
on"heki
ssesmyl
ips.
"
Ithi
nkso"Iwr
apmyl
egsar
oundhi
m.
"Sonowyouwillmakeabusi
nesspl
[Link]
lect
ever
ythi
ngyouneedandAphiwewil
lhel
pyouwi t
h
ever
ythi
ng"hestopski
ssi
ngmyli
psandstaresat
me.
"
What
?"
"I
'
m amazedPhil
[Link]
sisadiff
erentsi
deofyouand
Il
oveit
.Ipul
ledarealgem i
naslipst
[Link]
ove
youbaby"
"Il
oveyoutoo"Il
if
tmyheadandki
[Link]
getlosti
ntheki
ssandmoveonthepassi
onat
elove
maki
ng.

*
****
****
***

Thembeka

I'
m sur
pri
sedt
owakeuptoCl
ementsitt
ingnextt
o
[Link]
art
lehi
m becausehejumpsa
bit
.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"Ipul
lmysel
fup.
"Nothi
[Link]
ryIdidn'
tmeantoscar
eyou"
helooksalar
[Link]
nkmyr eact
ionscar
edhi
m.I
real
lyneedtost
oppanicki
ngsoeasily.
"ThankGod"Il
aymyheadbackdownandl ookat
[Link]
iredandIthi
nksomet
hingi
swrong.
"Tal
[Link] '
swrong?"
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandf
ixhi
sgl
asses.
"If
eelli
keIcantal
[Link]'
[Link]'
s
becausemywi f
eli
kedyouandt houghtyouwer
e
thekindoff r
iendIneededbutyouar everyeasyto
tal
kt [Link]'
twantt ol
oseourf r
iendshi
p"nowi '
m
mor ealarmedbecausei tmeansit'
sseri
ous.
Alr
eadyIam f i
ghti
ngNqubekot oletmecontinue
beingf r
iendswiththem andnowhei stal
kingli
ke
hewant st otel
lmet ogetlost
.
"
Whati
sit
?Youar
escar
ingme"
"[Link]
dn'tmeant oscareyou"hesmi lesandI
feelmyheadr el
[Link]
[Link]'t
explainwhyIf eelsodrawnt ohim butIl
[Link]
i
sl i
keabr otherIdidn'
thavegr owi
[Link] ove
Dabul atoobutDabul ai
sn'tClement.
"[Link] si
t"Ibegandhe
takesmyhandt [Link]
lyhopehedoesn't
declar
efeel
ingsformebecauseIl i
kehim alotbut
notthatway.
"WhenIwasyoungIhadt hi
sfri
[Link]
end
[Link] hekindestper
[Link]
[Link]
bedfrom t
[Link] ejustyoungboysina
boardi
ngschoolandwewer esurr
oundedbyother
boysyouknow"heshr
ugsandIsqueezehi
shand
back.
"Youhadfeeli
ngsf orhi
m? "Ican'
tbeataroundthe
[Link] i
tyisaver
y
sensi
ti
vetopicinmanypl acesandpeopl edon'
t
speaksoopenl yabouti
tbuti'm notpeople.
"Attheti
meIdidn'
[Link]
yreal
izedwhenhe
passedonthatwhatwesharedwaswaybeyond
fri
endshi
p"hebli
nksthet
earsaway.
"
Whathappenedt
ohi
m?"
"
Hewasi nahelicopt
[Link]
atherowneda
f
arm andtheyhadahelicopter
.Onemor ni
ngthey
l
eftandnevermadeitbackhome"
"
That
'
shorri
ble.I
'
m sosor
ry"henodsandr
emove
t
hegl
assestowipehi
seyes.
"WhenhewasgoneImovedonwi thlif
ebutnoone
elseevermademef eelt
hewayhedi [Link]
metmywi f
eandmar r
[Link]'tgetmewrong.I
l
ovedherandIwascommi t
tedtous.I'
venever
evenlookedatanyoneelseli
kethat"
Inodandl
ethi
m cont
inue.
"Butnowshei sgoneandImi [Link]
ikeGod
gavemet osoulmatesandt ookthem [Link]
I'
vebeenthinki
ngaboutAndr [Link]
webot hknewwhatwef el
tforeachotherandnow
i
'm hereal
onehavingtof i
gurethi
soutmysel f.I
t
j
ustdoesn'tseem f
airyouknow"hei snowr eall
y
cryi
ng.
"Idon'
tevenknowwhyI 'mtell
ingyoual lt
his.
Maybeit'
sbecausewhenshewasgoi ngshet ol
d
meyoul ookli
kesomeoneIcant r
[Link]
alwaysagoodj udgeofcharacter
.Shewaski ndand
l
ovingdespit
ehavingthatrott
enfami l
y"
Isti
llhol
dhi
shandandf eel
[Link]
couldheart
hissohestopsthi
nkingt
hatCl
ements
[Link] sj
ustaheart
brokenmanneedingan
ear.
Heconti
nuestocr
yandIl
ethi
m [Link]
imes
cr
yinghel
ps.

*
****
****
***
Nqubekoarri
vesandhisf acefall
swhenhefinds
Clementsi
tti
ngont [Link] t
ateabi
tbefor
e
hewalkstomeandki ssmyl [Link]
snot
showingoffanyt
hingsotheki ssisj
ustapeckon
theli
psandthenheacknowl edgeClement.
"
Thanks"saysCl
ementasheget
supandl
eave.
Wewai tunt
ilt
hedoori
scl
osedbef
orewebot
h
speakatthesameti
me.
"
Sor
ryyouf
ir
st"saysNqubeko.
"I
'
m goinghomet [Link]
inal
[Link]
wantmet oeatboil
edfoodandstopdri
nki
ngfizzy
dri
nks"Icomplai
nwhi l
eNqubekosmil
esatme.
"
Youar
ecomi
nghomet
hat
'sal
lthatmat
ter
s"
"
ButIwantt
ast
yfoodnott
hat
.YouknowIl
ikesal
t"
"Iknowbutwecanchangeourdietf
[Link]
fewmonthsmyl ove"hesmil
esandIfeell
ikeI
haven'
tseent
hisgenuinesmil
efr
om him sinceIgot
here.
"
YouknowIl
oveyour
ight
?"Iaskwhi
let
aki
nghi
s
handst
omi
ne.
"IknowmyloveandIloveyout
oo"hesqueezesmy
handsandsmileevenwider
.
"Andyouareoveryourworr
yingaboutClement
?"I
expecthi
sfacetochangebutitdoesn'
t.
"
Hei
sthel
eastofmypr
obl
ems"
"
Goodbecauseheisj
ustahear
tbr
okenper
son
Nqubekoand.
..
."
"
Hei
sgay"hecut
smeof
f.
"
Hei
snotgay"
"Bi
sexual
,samedif
ferent
.Idon'
tcar
eanymore.I
onlycar
eaboutyou"hesmilesj
ustashi
sphone
ri
ngs.
Hepul
lsi
toutandf
[Link]
ocus
onmyownphonewhilehehandl
eshisowncal
l.
Whenhei
sdonehelooksbother
ed.
"
Whati
sitnow?
"
"
Nothi
[Link]
'sj
ustmybr ot
herMbuyiseni
.Youknow
Mbuyi
seninevercal
lsmenowhei stell
ingmethey
ar
ecomi
ngt
oDur
[Link]
m andhi
sfami
ly"
Ialsofi
ndi twei
rdbecauseNqubekoisnotcloseto
hissibl
ingsatall
,i
nfactMlul
ekii
smor eofabr ot
her
tohimt hananyofhisbrot
her
sandt hei
rwives
neverreall
ybefr
iendedmesowear enotcloseatall
.
"
Soareyougoi
ngtolett
hem st
ayi
nyourhouse
whent
heycome?"Iask
"[Link]
heyhaveenoughmoneyt
obook
somewhere"
"
Butyouhaveaspacei
nyourhouse"
"NoIdon't
.AmandaandLi ndomi ghtcomeupf ora
[Link] estayi
ngwi thmemost l
yand
S'nqobi
lemightstaywithmei fthereisn'
tenough
spaceinyourhousesonoIdon' thaveenough
spaceforhim andhisfamily"helooksannoyed.
MaybeonedayI '
l
lknowt herealreasonwhy
Nqubekoisanout castamongsthi sownsi bl
ings.
Chapt
er87

Thembeka
I'
m unabletoscr eam andt heharderItrytofightthe
mor eIsinki
nandmybodyf eel
sparalyzed.I
continuetocryunt i
lIopenmyeyesandr eal
izeit
's
abaddr eam.I '
vebeenhavi ngthem eversinceIleft
thehospital
.WhenIwasdr uggedIhaddr eamless
sleepbutnowmyr eal
it
yisbacki nf
ullforcesoI
can'tevensleeppeacef ul
ly.
"
Youarehavi
ngabaddr
eam"saysNqubeko
l
ooki
ngatme.
Isitupandpul
lmyl
egsupwhi
lehepul
lsupa
pil
lowforme.
"
Yeahi
t'
soneoft
hose"
Henodsandexhal
esbeforeheputhi
sar
m ar
ound
[Link]
oserandrestmyheadonhi
sshoul
der.
"
I'
m sor
rybaby"hesaysqui
etl
y.
Westayquietunti
lsomeoneri
ngsthebel
[Link]
get
suptoat t
endthedoorwhil
eIgetofft
hebed
[Link]
wasNqubeko'ssurpri
[Link]
aftermyst ayatt hehospi
talIfoundmybags
packedandhet oldmeheist akingtoCapeTownt o
getsomer [Link]'ti
magi nemebei ng
terror
izedbyni ghtmaresastheydo.I t'
sbeendays
andi t
'sstart
ingt oaff
ectdail
yf unct
[Link]
nightIdozedof fwhilegett
ingr eadyfordinnerand
Nqubekoendedupcancel l
ingbutIdi dn'tgetpr
oper
sleepevent [Link] eamswer eher einfull
force.
Istandforwhil
ejustadmiri
ngthepl ace.I
t'
sacol
d
dayjudgingbypeoplewear i
ngjacketsandboot
s
butpregnantpeopl
eexperiencethesethings
dif
ferent
ly.I
'
mf eel
ingcoolnotcold.
Thisbui l
dingisMl uleki'
sproper t
[Link] fer
edthe
apart
mentf orusandwedi dn'texpectwhathe
[Link] art
ingwi ththefactthatitsont hetopfl
oor
.
Thewhol eapar t
menti sblackandmanl [Link]
i
spai ntedgr [Link] l
ooristil
edbl [Link]
hasbl ackleathercouches, aver ylargescreenTV
andaf i
replacet hatburnsblackst oneswhenyou
l
[Link] ningroom hadbl ackchai r
sanda
matchi ngblackgl [Link] nt
ingonthe
wal l
sandwhi l
evasesher eandt [Link] s
hugeandhasbl ackbui lt
-i
ncupboar dsthatyoucan
seeyourr ef
lecti
oni nthem.I ttookmeamomentt o
seet hatt hereisabl ackst oveint [Link]
l
argeandbl ackt oobutal lthehandl esarewhi teand
thewal li
spai ntedinwhi tebutbecauset hekit chen
i
ff ullyfurnishedsoyoucanonl yseef ewplaces
wher et hewal [Link]
Mlul ekihavingaf r
idgef ulloffoodwhenhel ivesi n
Dur ban, hesai dthef oodisf orthecleaningst aff.
Theyar eal l
owedt ocomei ncookandeatpr ovi ded
theydon' tmessupt hepl [Link] arIthinkthey
haven' tbecauseIdi dn'tseeanyt hingbrokenorout
ofpl ace.
Theonlyplacewithbri
ghtcoloursaretheguest
[Link] hem i
spinkanot heri
sbluewit
h
twobedsandal argecloset
.Ididn'tneedsomeone
totel
lmethathehadt hem preparedforCeli
weand
theboysshouldtheycomevi si
t.

*
*
"Thembeka"saysNqubekobehi
[Link] tforhi
s
handstotouchmeandhedoes." Ever
ythi
ngokay?"
Heasksonal oweredvoi
[Link] hathi
m
speaki
ngtomyearmakesmehor [Link]
ynotto
giggl
e.
"
I'
mfi
ne"
Her
ubsmybackandhi
shandsf
eelwar
m.
"Shoul
dwet ooutforbr
eakfast?Idon'
tmind
stayi
nginandordersomething"hesuggest
.
"
Mlulekihasaf r
idgef ul
[Link]
ngto
makef [Link]
llandI
'l
lsi
t
t
hereandwat ch"
Hepul
lsmyheadbackabi
tandki
ssme.
"Okayf i
[Link]
'[Link]
eswasher
eto
pickupsomecof f
[Link]
ngussome
privacy"
[Link]
myfaceandwearNqubeko'sshor
tsandhisvest.
[Link]
ldef
ini
tel
y
havemystomachwhenItakeitof
fbuthewillbe
f
ine.
Webot
hwal
kahandandhandt
otheki
tchen.
"Hehadtohaveabl ackkit
chen"saysNqubeko
pull
ingahighchai
[Link]
chenchai r
s
becausepeopl
edon' tmakethem forshortpeopl
e
l
[Link] ocl i
mbup, i
t'
sstupidifyouask
me.
"Letme"saysNqubekowhenIt
ryt
opul
lmyl
egup.
Iall
owhimt ohel
pmeup.
"[Link]
eal
whi
le
youcook?"
"[Link]
tthemilk"hecheckst
he
cupboardsunti
lhefindsthecer
ealsandmakesa
bowlofme.

"
Sowhatdoyouwantt
oeat
?"Hei
ssear
chi
ngt
he
f
ri
dgeasheasks.
"
Fish"Ir
epl
yandwat
chhi
m asher
aisehi
sheadt
o
l
ookatme.
"
Forbr
eakf
astThembeka"
"I
'm cravi
ngaf i
[Link] l
lGooglet
herecipe"inf
act
I'
vebeent hi
nkingaboutfi
shsincel
[Link]
cravingisnotthatbadbutther
eisfi
shsowhydeny
mysel fachance.
"
Okayf
ine"het
akesi
tout"
Anyt
hingel
se?
"
"
Yel
lowr
icef
ri
edwi
thveget
abl
es"
"
Fri
edr
ice?Howam Isupposedt
omakei
tyel
low?
"
"WewillGoogl
e"It
akehi
sphone.I
tdoesn'
thavea
passwordsoIheadtoGoogl
e.
"
Andifwedon'thavet
heneededi
ngr
edi
ent
s?Ar
e
wegoingshoppi
ng?"
"[Link]'
twanttogooutsi
de"Irepl
yquickl
yand
hestopschecki
ngthecupboardsandlooksatme.
"
Whynot
?"
"I
t'
scold"Il
[Link]
ustdon'thavet
heener
gytoeven
[Link]
lIwanttodoi stoputmyheaddown
andsleepbutIknowt hedreamswil
lbeher
e.
"I
t'
[Link]
ngavestandI'
l
lbuyyou
athickj
acketifyouneedone"hewal
ksovert
othe
othersi
deandst ar
eatme.
"
Maybet
omor
[Link]
ustwantst
ayi
nandeat
"
HenodsbutIcant
ellhewi
llbr
ingt
hesubj
ectback
l
ater
.
"Okayfi
[Link]
ayi
nandeat"heagr
eesand
conti
nuesear
chi
ngMlul
eki
'
skit
chen.

*
****
***

Ourf i
shcameoutamessbutweat eitwhil
e
l
aughi ngourheadoffforcooki
ngwit
[Link]
thankt hemanforcookingIwashedt
hedishesand
driedthem whil
ehewasbusycheckingamovi ewe
couldwat chandbothenjoy.
"
Ithi
nkI
'
vef
oundi
t"heannounces.
"Okayi
'
m coming"Ipi
ckupt
hei
cecr
eam andj
oin
himinthel
ounge.
Wesitont
hefl
oorwi
thNqubekobehi
ndmeandme
bet
weenhi
slegs.
"
Whof
all
sasl
eepf
ir
stwi
llcookdi
nner
"het
eases.
"Iwon'
tsl
eep"Ir
epl
ybef
orer
est
ingmyheadonhi
s
chest.
"
Wewi
llsee"hel
aughs.
Webothsiti
nsi
lenceforaminut
ebef
oreNqubeko
st
art
stouchi
ngmyl ovehandl
es.
"
Thi
spar
tri
ghther
eissof
t"hewhi
sper
s.
"
Iknow"
"AndIl
ovelooki
[Link]
havehai
[Link]
thai
r"l
eansdownand
kissmyneck.
"
That
'sti
ckl
ish"Icompl
ainbef
oret
empt
ingt
ocover
myneck.
"
IknowandIl
oveit"heremovesmyhandandki
ss
meagai
nasIburstint
ogiggl
es.
"YouknowthatIl
oveThembeka"hesaysaf
terhe
stopst
ouchi
ngme.
"
IknowandIl
oveyout
oo"
"
AndIcantel
lthatyoust
ruggl
ingwi
thsl
[Link]
's
whyyouar
efeeli
nglow"
Idon'
trepl
yinst
eadIhol
dhi
sknees.
"
AndI'm wi
ll
ingtowalkthi
sjour
neywi
[Link]'
t
wantyoutofeelal
one"
"
ThanksMbonambi
"
"
AndIdon'twantyout
oeverf
eell
ikeyoucan'
ttel
l
meanyt
hing"
"[Link]
keIshoul
dn'tbeali
ve"I
feelhi
m hol
dingabr eat
hbefor
ehewr apshisarms
aroundme.
"
You'
veheadsui
cidalt
hought
sbef
ore?
"
"
YesIhavebutchi
ckenedoutbecauseIam af
rai
d
t
odie"
"
Whenwast
his?
"Heaskshi
sar
msst
il
lar
oundme.
"[Link]'thavet hem anymore.
Imean,Ihavesomucht oli
vef or"Ifeelagentl
e
movementinmyst [Link]
'slikethebabyi s
remi
ndi
ngmet hatIhavetolivef orhim orhertoo.
"
Soyouwi
llcont
inuewi
tht
her
apy?
"
"
YesIwi
ll
.Ican'
tsl
eepsoImi
ghtaswel
ljustgo
t
hrought
hewhol
ethi
ng"
"
AndI
'
llbeher
eforyoumyl
ove"
It
urnaroundt
of acehi
m andgi
vehi
m apr
operki
ss.
Hekissesmejustashard.
"Wear
ewat chi
ngamovi
e"her
emi
ndsmewhenwe
bot
hpullback.
"Wewillcont
inueaf
tert
his"Ir
epl
ywhi
le
unbut
toninghisshi
rt
.
Hest
opsmyhandsandst
aresatmef
ormoment
.
"Ineverwanttoli
vewi t
[Link] e
goingt obefi
[Link]
ngweaki spartofl
ifeeven
whensomeoneel seseesnothingbutstr
engthin
[Link] ethestr
ongestpersonIknowandI '
m
gladIgettohaveyoui nmyl i
fe"helowershishead
tomyl ipsandweshar eanotherki
sswhileI
continuetaki
nghisshirtof
f.

*
****
***
Phi
li

Thepl aceispacked.I
t'sadiff
erentworl
dher e.
Ladieslookbeautif
ulastheyclingontheirr
ichand
[Link] ulekii
ntr
oducedmet oa
total
lydif
ferentworl
[Link] li
tafundr aisi
ng
dinnerwhenyoupayt housandstoeatandthat
moneyi ssupposedt ogot ochari
tybutweal lknow
howt hesethingswork.
"Areyoucomi ngouttoni
ght?"AsksMl
ulekiasIdo
thefi
nalcheckont hemirr
[Link]
tingnextt
o
thedoorastheguywai tsbehindhimt
omovet he
cartotheparkingl
ot.
"Almostdone"Ireappl
ythel
ipst
ickandchecki
fI
didn'
tstai
nmyt eethwhil
eatit
.
"Youlookbeauti
ful
"headdsasheext
endsahand.I
holdontohim andgetoutoft
hecar
.
"
Thankyou"theairf
eel
swar
m andt
heskyi
scl
ear
.
I
tsabeaut
ifulni
ght.
Hehandst
hekeyt
othemanbef
orewebot
hwal
kto
[Link]
nksatthe
[Link]
standstopwhenInoticehow
beauti
fultheplacei
[Link]'
sblackandgol
dandpeople
arebusyst andi
ngingroupswhilesi
ppi
ngthei
r
dri
nks.
"Walkt
all
"saysMl ul
ekiresti
nghishandonmyback.
I'
m weari
ngabl ackdressthatendsonmyankles.
Thebacki sopenandsecur edbyagoldchai
[Link]
braunderneathisst
raplessandi'
m wear
ingthong
toavoi
dshowi ngpantylinesonmyass.
Iwal
kfurt
herint
otheroom andtwoladi
eswaveat
[Link]'
tknowthem atal
lbutIwaveback.
"Andwearasmil
ealways"hewhi
sper
sjustast
wo
guysappr
oachus.
"
Gent
s"saysMl
ulekif
ir
st.
"MluandMi
ssKhumal
o"oneoft
hensaysbef
ore
shaki
ngmyhand.
"
Hi"Ismi
lepol
it
ely.
"It
oldmywif
eaboutyourpr
oject
.Shewant
stobe
partof
.Shef
eel
sboredandthisi
saperf
ect
opport
uni
tyf
orhertokeepbusy"saysthesecond
gent
lemanashelooksaroundabitandthenspota
l
[Link]'sthewif
e.
"Ialsosawt heproposal.I
twassoi nformalIhadto
sitandr eadit
"saysthef i
rstguysmi l
[Link]
thisisMceboIemai ledanedi tedversionoftheplan
bymi [Link]
yneedt hereversingappfor
emai l
s.
"
Itgotsentbymist
ake.I
'
m sor
ry"It
rynott
oshow
myhumi l
iat
ion.
"
It
'sfi
ne.I
'
mjustt
easi
ng"sayst
hemanast
hey
l
augh.
"Dudut
hisisMissKhumal
[Link]
alked
aboutl
astnight
"themani
ntr
oduceshi
swif
e.
"
Hi"Ir
etur
nasmi
leandshakeherhead.
"
[Link]
ntr
oduceyoutoot
her
s"shet
akes
myhandandMl
ulekinodswewal
kaway.

*
****
***
Duducan'tstoptalki
ngonceshest art
s.I'
vebeen
smili
ngandact i
ngl i
kei'
mi nterest
edasshe
i
ntroducedmet oherf r
[Link] o
complainaboutsomepar t
ytheywentt oandhow
bori
ngitwasf [Link]
endsal socontri
but
ed
onthetopicastheyadmi redt hedecorat
ionand
sharedwhereonecanf i
ndsomeoft hethingsfor
thei
rownhomes.
"Soyouwanttostar
tachar
it
yproj
ect
?"Onel
ady
askswhil
elooki
[Link]
tl
eonmy
dress.
"
YesIam"Ir
epl
yconf
ident
ly.
"[Link]
endandsher unsthi
s
organisati
[Link] ol
dmeevent houghi tpayssl
ow
butyoudogetsomemoneypl ust hegovernmentis
rewardingt ender
stochari
ti
eslately"
"
Imagi
nei
fwecoul
dgetone"SaysDudul
ooki
ngat
me.
"Pari
snextyear"t
heladiessayatthesametime.I
'm
notsurewhatParisi
sbecauset heonlyPari
sIknow
i
si nFranceandIdon'tgett
heexcitementsoIsi
p
t
hel
iqui
dandsaynot
hing.
Theycontinuet otal
kaboutshoppi ngandfashion
showswhi leIlookaroundf orMlul
[Link]
andsmilebefor ehewal ksover.I
'm savedbecauseI
wasstar
tingt ofeelbored.
"
Sti
llokay?
"Hespeaksi
nmyear
.
"Yesi
t'
[Link]'
tseenMelissa"Il
ookar
ound
onemoreti
mebutst i
llIdon'
tseeheratall
.
"Sheisher
esomewher
[Link]
llseeheroncewe
sitdown"
"
Ineedt
hel
adi
es"Ihandhi
m mygl
ass.
"
I'
llgetyouar
efi
ll
"hesmi
lesandIwal
ktot
hel
adi
es.

*
****
***

Thisplaceisbeaut
if
[Link]
rrest
roomshavea
waiti
ngareai ft
hei
sal i
[Link]
avail
abletoi
let.
"
Didyouseeher
?"Sayssomeonewal
kingi
n.
"[Link]
snothist
[Link]
seesinher"t
heybot
hlaughed.
Ist
andst
il
lbecauseIf
eart
heyar
etal
kingaboutme.
"
Hedidsleepwi
thyouatsomepoint
"anot
hervoi
ce
r
epl
iesandthecont
inuet
olaugh.
"Hei
sver ygoodi
nbedIwon'
tli
e"t
hel
ady
cont
inues.
"
Didn'
tyouf
earDanf
oundi
ngoutabouti
t?"
"DanknewIwascheat i
ngbuthewoul
dtot
all
yfl
i
pif
everfi
ndsoutthati
t'
[Link]
nksi
twassome
fuckboyIpi
ckedup"
Thegoqui etbeforeIheart
[Link]
can'tgetoutbecauset heywil
lknowIwasl ist
eni
ng
totheirconversati
[Link]
nuetostandstil
lunt
ilI
hearamal [Link]
stheladi
esandaman
shouldn'tbeher e.
Theladiestel
lthemant ousetheanothert
oil
etas
thi
sonei [Link] efusesandIheart
heir
foot
stepsast [Link]
sogetoutandfind
themanj uststandi
ngther
e.
"Sorry.I
'
m abitdr
unk"hel
[Link]
quicklyandi
gnorehi
[Link] ort
hedoorI
feelahandonmybut t.
"
Yousexyyoungt
hing"hegr
absmyhandwhenIt
ry
t
orushout
.
"Letgoofme"Iscr
eam [Link]
stumblesabi
[Link]
chainsonmybacksnapsandthefabri
ctearsabi
t.
"Acti
nglikeyoudon'twantthi
s"heyanksthedress
harderanditri
psjustashishandclosesaroundthe
necklikeandyankthedressagain.
Iscream ontopofmylungswhil
etr
yingt
of i
ghthi
m
[Link] str
yingt
ogetmedownbutIfightback
becauseifIfal
lhewil
lover
powerme.
"Help!
!"Iscr
eam andtr
ytohithi
m buthekeeps
tr
yingtheteart
[Link]
presentit
sel
fIki
ckhim har
dbetweenthelegs.
"Youbit
ch"heret
urnsaqui
ckpunchbef
orehe
bendsoverandIusethi
schancet
orunfeel
ingt
he
blooddroppi
ngfr
om mynose.
Thef i
[Link]
ri
ppedandf al
li
ngonmyupperbodyandthat
bastardalsosnappedmybra,
oneofmyboobsi s
fal
li
ngout .
"Phi
li
"saysMlul
ekir
unni
ngt
[Link]'
t
speak,I
'
m cr
yingandmynosei
sbleedi
ng.
"
Franci
swasinthetoi
let
.Wet r
iedt
ot el
lhi
mto
l
eavebuther
efused"oneladyexpl
ains.
"Weneedt
ostopthenosebl
eed"someonesays
andawhit
eladyput
ssomethi
ngovermyshoulder
.
"Comethi
sway"someonesaysandsuddenl yi
'm
takent
oanot
herroom andonel adyi
spressing
somethi
ngonmynose.I '
m shakingandIfeelsi
ck.
"
Somei ce"someonepl
acesacoldt
owelonmy
f
oreheadandinstr
uctmetol
iedown.
"
Phi
li
"it
'sMl
ulekir
unni
ngi
n.
Hecomest
okneel
inf
rontofme.
"Sheneedst
[Link]
llst
[Link]
nosedoesn'
tseem br
oken"saysthel
ady.
"
I'
llst
aywi
thher
.Canyougetmycar
.Tel
ltheguyt
o
packatt
[Link]
eleavi
ng"hei
nst
ructwhi
le
si
tti
ngnextt
ome.
Thel
adi
esl
eaveusal
oneandMl
ulekimakesmel
ie
downonhi
slap.
"Hedidn'
thur
tyouanywher
eel
se?
"HeasksandI
shakemyhead.
Henodsandcont
inuet
ohol
dthet
owelonmy
f
orehead.
Wesi
tforfewminut
esbef
oret
herei
saknockanda
manwalksinwi
thMlul
eki
'
skeys.
"
Thanks"het
akest
hekeysandt
hemanwal
ksout
.
"
Let
'sgetyouhome"
Isi
tupandmynosethr
obsbuti
tdoesn'tseem t
o
bebleedi
ngmor
[Link]
aceshi
sjacketonmy
shoulder
s.
Wel eavet
heroom andwal ktothepassageand
walkspastthekit
chenbeforewer eacht
heexit
.The
caristher
eandMl ul
ekiopenst hedoorf
[Link]
i
nandcl osesthedoorbeforejoggi
ngtohissi
de.
Thecart
akesof
finspeedaswel
eave.
"
Phi
li
"hespeaksandIt
urnmyheadt
olookathi
m.
HeholdsmyhandandIt
hinkhecanf
eelt
hati
'
m
shaki
ng.
"
I'
m sor
ryIwasn'
tther
etopr
otectyou"
It
'snothisfaul
tsoIsqueezehishandbackbefor
e
cl
[Link]'[Link]
sisnot
mywor ldanyway.
Chapt
er88

Nqubeko

Icheckt hebedr oom andThembekai sst i

llsleeping.
Thisisthef ir
sttimeshehassl eptforoverfive
hourswi thoutfi
ghti
ngt hi
ngsi [Link]
can'tcel
ebr atej
[Link] sfarf
rom healing.
Whatt heydi dtoherwascr uelandhealingwi l
ltake
yearsoft herapyandaccept ance.
Ical
lTi
kofi
rst
.Hi
sphoner
ingst
wicebef
orehe
answer
s.
"
Boss"
"
Wher
ear
eyou?
"Hesoundsl
ikehei
sdr
ivi
ng.
"
I'
m headi
ngt
oBabanango"
"[Link] enoonegetshurt
.
Evenifitmeanswakingthem upbutIwantt
hree
housesburnttoashestonight
"Heshoul
dbethere
i
nl esst
hananhourf rom now.
"YesSir
.Andthegirl
?"HemeansPr et
[Link]'
twant
hertogetcaughti
nthecrossfi
[Link]
thekeepSdumobusyunt i
lIsayother
wise.
"Shewil
lbefi
[Link]
ocusonSdumof
ornow.
Justgother
eanddowhatIsay"
"
Sur
eboss"
Iendt
hecallandcallPr
ett
[Link]
o
voi
cemai
lbeforeshecall
smeback.
"
Nqubeko"
"
Tomorr
owat8beinVr
yhied.I
'
llsendyoudet
ail
sof
t
heper
sonyouar
emeeti
[Link]'tmessupPrett
y"
"
Forwhat
?"Hert
onei
sful
lofat
ti
tude.
"Youowemeal ot
sofmoneyPr et
tyandthetrauma
youcausedmyfamilysoyouarei
nnoposi t
ionto
askmequesti
ons.Tomorrowat8beinVryhied.I'
l
l
sendyoudet
ail
s"Iendthecal
landcallMlul
eki.
"
Nqubeko"
"
Howi
sshe?
"
"
Sleepi
ng"Icant
ellt
hathei
ssmoki
ng.
"
Andt
hatbast
ard?Tel
lmeyouhavehi
m"
"[Link] nfocusisPhi
li
.Thatpi
g
crossedtheli
neNqubeko"hecli
ckhist
ongue.
"Iknow"Ipushthedoorabi
tandcheckif
Thembekai sst
il
lsl
eepi
[Link]
ssti
llsnor
ingandi
t
[Link] est.
"I
'
m goingt
oki
llhi
m buthewon'
tevenseei
t
coming"
"
AndPhi l
i?Whenshefindsoutabouti
t?"Somet
hing
t
ell
smet hatPhil
uisnotthet
ypeofwomanyoucan
j
usttel
lthatIhadsomeonekil
led.
"
Shewon'
[Link]
'st
[Link]
ghti
stheni
ght
"
"Ti
koisheadi
[Link]
ett
ywi l
lbei
n
Vryhi
edtomorr
owt ogett
hepackagetoJul
io"she
bett
ernotmessup.
"That
'
[Link]
eTikoi
sthatsidei
'
mt hi
nki
nghe
cansnif
fabi
[Link]
somethi
ngNqubeko"
"I
'
llaskTi
kotostayabi
teDl
ebeandseei
fhepi
cks
upsomething"
"[Link]
thesame"t hat
'sj
usttal
[Link]
dlysleepwit
h
Thembekaj umpingupeveryminutebuttodayshe
hassleptlongermaybeIcansleepf orabi
ttoo.
"Wewillt
alkl
ater
"Iendt
hecal
landsendat extt
o
Pret
tyaboutmeeti
ngJul
iof
orthepackage.

*
****
****
*

Phi
li
Mlul
ekipr
esseshi
shandonmymout
hbef
orei
coul
dscream.
"Heyi
t'
[Link]'tmeantoscareyou"helet
's
goandItakeadeepbr [Link]'
texpecti
ngto
openmyeyestoMl ulekistar
ri
ngatmecl ose.
"Whatti
mei si
t?"Ifeel
li
keIjustcl
osedmyeyesbut
Icantel
lit
'smorningalr
eady.
"
It
'saf
[Link]
eyouf
eel
ingokay?
"
Inodandpullt
heblanketuptomyneck.I'
mf eeli
ng
downafterl
astni
ghtandIdon'tevenwantt
ol eave
thebedorthehousetoday.
"
Come"hepul
lst
hebl
anketawayf
rom me.
"I
t'
ssti
llear
ly"Icompl
ainbuthet
akesmyar
m and
pullmeup.
"
Youwi
llgobackt
osl
eepaf
tert
his"
Ireal
lydon'
thavetheenergybutIsti
llgetupandlet
himleadmeoutoft [Link] he
passagebefor
ehepushesanot [Link]
fi
rstt
hingInoti
cei
st hemirr
[Link] r
rorthat
seemsoutofplacebecausethereisapunchi ngbag
hangingontheroofbehindi
[Link]
inger
ie
setonthechairnearthemir
[Link]'
t
thi
nkI:'
minamoodf orsexgamesr i
ghtnow
becauseIdon'
t.
"St
andhere"hemakesmest andinf r
ontofthe
mirr
[Link]
dn'
twashthemakeuppr oper
lylastni
ght.
Ihavesomedarkmarksfrom theeyeli
[Link]
ooklike
[Link]
il
landlookathi mthroughthe
mirr
[Link]
randsitsdownbehi ndme.
"Whatdoyouseei
nthatmi
rr
or?
"Heasksaf
terhe
sit
s.
"
Meani
ng?
"It
urnt
ofacehi
m.
"Turnaroundandt
ellmewhatyousee"hel
ight
sa
cigaret
te.
Ist
andforamomentt
ryi
ngtowor
koutwhatheus
doi
ngbutsofari
'
m bl
ank.
"
Tel
lmewhatyousee"her
epeat
s.
"
Iseemysel
fandyoubehi
ndme"
"For
[Link]
ookatyoursel
f"hebl
owsthe
smokeint
oringsbef
orei
tdisappearsi
ntoai
r.
"
Iseemysel
f"
[Link]
hinki
tmeanscont
inue
soIcont
inue.
"Myfaceneedsaproperwashtoremovemakeup
proper
[Link]
psar
edr yandI
'm dr
owningi
nthi
st-
shir
t"
"
Ididn'
tsaycountyourfl
[Link]
acei
sfi
[Link]
l
ipsarefi
[Link]
eces?"
"
Whatpi
eces?"Iwantt
olookathi
m buthewi
llt
ell
met
oturnaroundsoIdon'
t.
"
Brokenpi
[Link]
eyoubr
okensomewher
e?"
Ishakemyhead.
"
Outl
oud"hecommands.
"
I'
m notbr
oken"Isayqui
ckl
y.
"Fr
anci
sisapigandhetooknothi
ngf r
om [Link]
hedoesn'
tdeser
vetoexi
stinyourheadandheart
.
Youhearme"hisvoi
ceiscommanding.
"
Yes"Ir
epl
ymyvoi
ceshaki
ng.
"
Sopr
omi
semet
hatyouar
enotgoi
ngt
omakehi
m
winbyshri
nki
ngyoursel
fint
osomethingelsewhen
hedoesn'
tdeser
vetoevencrossyourmind"
Tear
sfi
llmyeyesandIl
ookdownt
omyf
eet
.
"
Eyesonyou"hecommandsagai
n.
Iwi
pet
hem wi
thmyhandandl
ookatmysel
f.
"I
'
lldealwit
hFr
anci
sbutIdon'
twanthi
mtot
akea
pieceofyouwi
thhi
[Link]"
Inodasmor
etear
sdr
op.
"Sayi
toutl
oudPhi
li
.Fr
anci
swon'
ttakemewi
th
him"
"
Franci
swon'
ttakemewi
thhi
m"
"
Repeat
"
Iwi
pet
het
ear
sandr
epeat
.
"
Itwasn'
tyourf
aul
t"
"
It
'snotmyf
aul
t"
"
Itwi
l
lneverbemyf
aul
t"
"
Itwi
l
lneverbemyf
aul
t"Ir
epeat
.
"
I'
m ast
[Link]'
tbr
[Link]
st
umblebutIdon'
tfal
landi
fIdof
allIpi
ckmysel
f
upandli
mpf or
ward"
Ir
epeatt
hewor
dsasMl
uleki
sai
dthem.
"
Standt
allandshoul
der
sback"hei
nst
ruct
.
Idoso.
"
Repeatt
hewor
ds"heor
der
s.
Istandsti
llandrepeatt
[Link]
dersmet
o
repeatt
hem fourtimesmorebefor
ehenods.
"
Whathedi
disnotyourf
aul
t"
"
It
'snotmyf
aul
t"
"
Andi
twi
llneverbemyf
aul
t"
"
Andi
twi
llneverbemyf
aul
t"Ir
epeat
.
"Good"hest
andsupandmovescl
osert
ome.I
star
eathimthr
oughthemi
rr
orashewraphi
sarms
aroundme.
"
Youar
ebeaut
if
ul"heki
ssest
het
opofmyhead.
"
Youar
est
rong"heki
ssesmycheek.
"
Youwon'
trunandhi
de"heki
ssesmyot
hercheek.
"Andi'l
lbether eholdingyourhandthroughitall
.
Notbecauseyouneedyourhandhel dbutbecauseI
wanttobebesi deyoual lt
heway"hemovest o
standinfrontofmebef orehekissesmyl i
[Link]
him backmyhandst ouchinghiscoolski
n
underneaththeshi rt
.Hel i
ftmeupandIcanf eel
him hardashepul l
[Link] shandssqueezemy
buttcheeksandImoanagai nsthisli
[Link]
fastunti
lIfeelmybackagai nstthewall
.Iholdhim
ti
ghtaspr essesmeagai nstthewallandIfeelhi
s
handsonmyt highsbeforeIfeelhi
m pushinginside
me.
"
Mlu"Iwhi
sperr
emember
ingt
hecondom.
[Link]
eatedasmy
headtel
lsmetogowithi
[Link]
erbef
ore
hestart
smovi
ng.
It
'sintenseandqui ckbecausei
'm afr
aidtofal
lbutI
dowantt [Link] nguntilI
'm moaning
hisnamever yl oudandreachanintensepointofno
returnwhilefeeli
nghim ashecomesi nsi
deme.
Amomentpassesbef
oremyheadr
emi
ndsmet
hat
Ij
usthadunpr
otect
edsexagai
nstt
hewal
l.
"I
'
lldealwi
thFranci
s"hewhi
sper
si nmyearandI
holdhimti
ghtbecauseIf
earf
all
ing.
Chapt
er89

Phi
li

Mlul
ekihol
dsmet i
ghtsandcovermyli
pswit
hhi s
[Link]
eel
ssogoodsoIlock
myanklesaroundhim andal
sowrapmyarms
ar
oundhim.
Amomentpassbeforehegoessoftandsl
ipoutbut
hedoesn'
[Link]
sarms
andconti
nueki
ssi
ngmyl i
pssl
[Link]
sshim back
andrubmyarmsupanddownhi sside.
"DamnPhi
li
.Youshoul
dn'tl
etmetouchyouwit
hout
[Link]'
tstop"hesmil
esandki
ssmy
nose.
Ismil
ebackbutsaynot
hing.I
t'
sasi
xtht
imewe
haverawsext
odayandwebot hagr
eedi
tshoul
dn'
t
happenagai
[Link]
mt oimpregnat
e
mewhi chwouldbetot
all
ywrongbecausei'
m not
readyf
oranotherki
d.
"
Iloveyou"hewhi
sper
s.
"
Iloveyout
oo"
"
Weshoul
dgogetthepi
llnowandpickupt
heki
ds
f
ordi
nner
"hedoesn'
tmovethough.
Iexhal
eandi
[Link]
ls
goodbutt
hat'
snotal
l,hesmellslikeamanwho
j
usthadsex.
"I
fyoufal
lpregnantwouldyouhat
eme?"Heasks
andstar
tstr
acinghisfi
ngeronmyneck.
"Youareheavy"Ir
emi
ndhim andwebothlaugh
beforerol
lsof
[Link]
urntof
acehim ashesli
phis
arm beneathmeandpul
lsmeevencloser
.
"
Wouldyou? "HerepeatswhenIdon'
trepl
[Link]
t
ruthi
sIwoul dbutIfearhowhemightreactt
othat
.
Mlul
ekidoesn'
thaveachi l
dandIhavetwo.
"
Iwouldn'
thateyoubutI
'l
lbedisappoint
edi
n
mysel
fbecauseit'
smyresponsibi
li
tyaswel
l"i
t'
s
t
hesaf
estanswerIcant
hinkofr
ightnow.
"Idon'
twantyoutotakethi
sthewrongwaybutI
don'twanti
ttohappen"hesqueezemyshoul
der
.
"
Meani
ng?
"
"MeaningIdon'twantustohaveababy.I '
m happy
tobeaf athert
ojustyourki
[Link]'
sand
aswel lasThembeka'[Link]
nkthat
'senough
forme"t hi
sistot
all
[Link]
Ithoughthewast el
li
ngmehewant sone.
"
Soyoudon'
twantyourbi
ologi
calki
d?"
"No"herepli
esandi
tsoundsli
ket
her eissomet
hing
l
eftunsaidbutIl
eti
[Link]
lrevisi
tthe
subjectl
ater
.
"Thenweshoul dreall
ygetupnowsoIcangoget
thepil
l"henodsandl [Link]
mydr essbeforesli
ppingi
[Link] l
lst
rai
ghtent
he
bedwhi leIshowerandmakemysel fl
ook
presentabl
e.

*
****
***
Iwipethefogonthemi rr
orandstar
eatmy
ref
lect
[Link]
ookokay.I'
m notbr
okenatal
[Link]
mandi dnottakeanyt
hingawayfrom me.
"Youarebeauti
ful
.Smi
le"saysMl
ulekibehi
ndme.I
didn'
thearhi
m comein
Iexhal
eandsmi
le.
"
Doyouwantasandwi
ch?
"
Heshakeshisheadandl
ookatmeupanddown.I
haveatowelonsoIknowheisnotseei
ngt
he
di
mplesonmybut ts.
"
I'
m sor
ryf
ort
oday"
"Forwhat
?"Hehasn'
tdoneanyt
hingt
opi
ssmeof
f
yet.
"Unpr
otect
[Link]
dn'
thavedonet
hat
.It
's
unfai
r"
"I
t'
snotyourf
aul
[Link]
sowental
ongwi
thi
tsoi
t'
s
okay"
"
Sowear
ecool
?"Het
akesmyhandt
ohi
[Link]
don
tohi
m [Link]
andwest
areat
eachot
herthr
oughthemir
ror
.
"Ineedyout oconfrontFr
ancis"hesaysandI
i
mmedi atel
[Link] absmy
shouldersandt hatfor
cesmet ofaceforwar
dand
him behindme.
"Youhaveto.I
tstheonl
ywaytomakesur
ethatyou
areovert
heincident
"hei
nsi
st.
"
Byf
orci
ngmet
ogobackt
her
e?"
"[Link]
ef i
neandthathe
didn'
ttakeanyt
hingf
rom you.I
twi
lldoyougood"
Idon'tr
eplyandhewai tf
orfewmor eseconds
beforeremovehi [Link]
nandwal kpasthim
wit
houtsayi nganythi
[Link] dhespendt he
wholemor ningteachi
ngmet ogetovert
hei nci
dent
andthenf orcemet ofacethemonsteragain?How
wil
lthathelp?
Iheadtothebedr
oom andgetdr essedwhi l
ehe
showersandthengowai tdownstai
[Link]
l
eavingbutIdon'
tfeelbr
aveenought odar eMlul
eki
ri
ghtnowsoIwai tl
ikearespect
fulgir
lfr
iend.
Hecomesdownaf ter15mi nut
[Link]
ooksnicei
n
darknavyt
racksui
[Link]
phone.

*
****
*

Theeveni ngwasn' texact [Link] ds

woul dn'trelaxandMl ulekicoul dn'tr
elaxaswel l.
Thei deawast otaket hem t ot hemovi es,gof or
dinneraf terthatandt hent aket hem forshoppi nga
[Link] ealit
ywasdi fferentt [Link] i
we, who
al
wayshavesomet hingt osayandpi cksactivit
ies
fi
rstwheneveryouwantt ospoi lthem, t
odayshe
coul dn'
tpi ckamovi [Link] dn'tleavemysi deas
wewer eleavi ngt hecar .I
twasl i
keshewasaf r
aid
ofhi [Link] woboyswoul dnor mall
yspendt he
whol etimear guingwi thNqubekoaboutwhi cht eam
i
sbet t
erandwhi chpl ayeri sr icherbuttodayt hey
whi speredt ot hemsel vesandeacht imeMl ut ri
edto
j
oini ntheyst [Link] dseei twasmaki nghi m
uncomf ortableaswel l
.SoIcutt hewhol ething
shor
tandwewer
ebackhomei
nlesst
han2hour
s.
"Thanksfort
onight"Itel
lMlul
ekiashegrabshi
s
keysgett
ingreadytoleave.I'
m st
ayi
ngbecausei
needtotalkt
ot [Link]
st.
"I
t'
scool
.Itwasadi
sasterbuti
t'
sfi
ne"hel
eans
downandkissmycheek.
Idon'
tknowwhatt osaysoInodandwal khimto
[Link]
aandS'nqobil
eareoutsi
desit
ti
ngat
[Link]
hem laughi
ngfr
om timeto
ti
me.
"
Textmebefor
eyousl
eep"headdsbef
oreheopens
t
hecardoor
.
"
Iwi
ll
.Letmeknowthatyougothomeal
ri
ght
"I
r
epl
yandopenthegat
e.
"Iwi
ll
.Il
oveyougoodni
ght
"heget
sinandcl
oset
he
door
.
"Metoo"Idon'
taddgoodni
ghtbecauseweare
goi
ngtotalkonthephonebef
orewesleep.
Hedr
ivesof
fandIgobacki
nsi
de.
*
****
*

Mykidsareinthebedroom playi
ngwithtoysand
eat
ingal
[Link]
sohappytobeeatinghismoneybutt heyactedli
ke
hewasascar yper
son.
"
Doyouwantt
his?I
thasj
ell
yini
t"
"
Not
aket
his.I
t'
sbi
tt
er"
Theboysbothsayatt
hesameti
meandpushthe
chocol
atest
[Link]
hem asi
deandsi
t
down.
"Weneedtotalk"Iadapttomymot herl
ytonewhi
le
smil
ingsotheydon'tthi
nkI'
m at
tackingthem.
Celi
weputsdownt hepopcor
[Link]
boyscopyherandnowt heyarel
ooki
ngatmewi t
h
suchexpect
ingeyes.
"
Doyouguysf
earUncl
eMl
uleki
?"
Theboysnodqui
ckl
[Link]
iwechewandnodsaf
ter
.
"
Why?Hashedonesomet
hingt
hatscar
edyou?
"My
mindisst
arti
ngtomakeimagesIcan'
[Link]
f
I
'vebeenbl
indthi
swholeti
me.
"Becauseyousaidweshoul dn'
ttr
uststr
angersand
Iheardhim yel
[Link] ng
tocuthiminhalfandsellhi
mt othehighestbi
dder
"
saysCeli
weherhandswi pi
ngacrossher
midsecti
ont oshowhal
f.
"IknowIsai
dyoushoul
dnevert
rustst
ranger
[Link]
uncleMlu.
..
..
"
"I
sameanlooki
ngstr
angersometi
mes"sayst
he
boysatt
hesameti
mel i
ketheyar
esingi
ngasong.
"
What
?"
"Helooksmeansomet imesandhesi t
sont he
couchlikethis"cont
inuesCeli
weasshemovest o
theedgeoft hebedt odemonstrat
e"andhisfaceis
notsmileyatal l
"shesit
swithherlegsopenandher
faceinaf r
ownt hatmakesmewantt obursti
nto
l
aughterbutIdon' t
.
"Yeshedoessi
tquietl
yandhislegsdost
aytofar
apart
.Soyoudon'tt
rusthi
m becausehei
sa
str
anger
,heyel
ledathreatt
osomeoneont he
phoneandhel
ooksmeanmostoft
het
ime?
"
"Yes"theyrepl
[Link]
eadytel
lthat
Celi
wei stheonewhot ol
dtheboysthatMlu
shouldn'tbetr
ust
edandt hathei
salwayssomean.
"[Link]
hat,i
sthereanythi
ngthat
wouldmakeyouguysuncomf ort
ablearoundhi
m? "I
l
ookcl osertotheirfacestoseeifther
eis
somethinghi [Link] oosurewhen
i
tcomest otheset hi
ngs.
Bothboyslookunsuresotheyl
ookatCeli
we
becauset
heyt r
usther.I
fshesaysyesi
tsayesf
or
them t
oo.
"[Link]
eNqubekobet
ter
.Hei
sver
y
nice"saysCeli
we.
Theboysnodi
nagr
eement
.
"
ButuncleMluisnotgoi
ngtor
epl
aceuncl
e
[Link]
oybot
huncl
es"
"Soyouwon'tmakeusmovei nwit
hhim?Wel i
keit
here"saysCel
iweandagainIseet
heagreei
ngnods.
I'
vebeenneglect
ingt
hem andCeli
weneededto
haveanswersfort
[Link]'
tbl
ameherf
or
tel
li
ngthem t
hesethi
ngs.
"NoIwon't
.Weareallst
ayi
ngher
e"Ireplyand
Cel
iwelooksconf
usedabit
.Ther
eisclearl
ymore
sheneedstosay.
"Evenafteryougetmarri
ed?"hervoi
cei
slowandI
seebothboysl ookatheri
[Link]
i
ntowr estl
ingandtoysbutt
heyknowwhati tmeans
tobemar r
ied.
"
Mar
ri
ed?Whot
oldyouI
'
m get
ti
ngmar
ri
ed?
"
"Ihear
dhimt el
luncleNqubekothatyouguyswi
ll
getmarri
[Link] al
kingwhenheheardme
walkinbutIheardthatpart
"saysCeli
we.
"[Link], I'
l
lneverl
eaveyoualone.I
'l
lnever
pickanyoneel [Link]'ttr
ust
UncleMl ulekiandthat
'sfi
[Link]
uncleMl ul
ekilikeastr
angerunti
lyouguysfeel
readytot r
usthi m.I
sthatokay?
"
Theboyswaitf
orCel
iwet
oconf
ir
[Link]
theyf
oll
ow.
"
AndIdon'twantyouguystohi
deanyt hi
ngfrom
me.I
fanyonemakesyouuncomf ortabl
eIwantyou
t
oalwaystel
[Link]'tkeepsecr
ets
f
rom eachot
[Link]
ght?
"
"
yesmama"t
heyal
lsi
ngatonce.
"
Youareonl
yall
owedtoeatonebarofcandyt
he
r
esthast
owaitfort
omorr
ow"
Iexpectapr
otestbuttheydon'
[Link]
artpi
cki
ng
uptheunopenedstuffandputi
tbackont hepl
asti
c.
"[Link] heli
[Link] s
tosaygoodnight"[Link]
chaosstartastheyracet
ot hephoneandar gue
aboutwhoshoul dspeakfi
rstandwhohasmor eto
say.
"
[Link]
'sputhi
m onl
oudspeaker
"suggest
s
Dabul
afeari
ngforhi
sphone.
Thechaosdoesn'
tst
[Link]
lleavet
hebedroom
whil
escreamingt
hei
[Link]
evenhearst
hem ast
heycompeteforhisat
tent
ion.
Myphoner
ingsandi
tsMl
uleki
.Il
eti
tri
ngabi
t
bef
oreanswer
ing.
"
Igoti
nsaf
e"hesoundsl
ikehei
sinabart
hough.
"Whati
sthatnoise?
"I'
m sureIhearvoi
cesand
someoneaskingforaref
il
l.
"Iam att
[Link]
ustwantonedr
inkandt
henI
'
m
goingtobed"
"Ar
eyouokay?
"Idon'
tevencar
ethathel
iedabout
bei
nghome.
"I
'
mf [Link]'
m di
sappoint
edt
hattheevening
wasn'tahitbuti
t'
[Link]
ydo
pref
[Link] yclear"
"TheyarekidsMl
uleki
.It
ellt
hem t
onevertr
ust
str
angerssoIcan'
tfaul
tthem.I
tsaprocessmy
l
[Link]
me"
Hedoesn'tr
eplyi
nsteadIst
arthear
ingsomeone
suggest
ingtheyl
eave.
"
Stopi
t"hi
ssesMl
uleki
.
Iwai
tthr
eesecondst
ohearmor
e.
"
[Link]
lthatpai
nIseei
n
you.I
'
m wear
ingyourf
avour
it
ebr
a"saysawoman.
"
Hel
lo"IspeaksoMl
ulekicanf
ocusonme.
Ther
eisnoreplyt
[Link]
ingt
henoi
se
andthengl
asses.
Istareatmyphoneforamomentbef or
eendi
ngt
he
callandthencal
li
nghim [Link]'
tst
op
i
magi ni
ngawomani nhi
sar mswearinghi
s
favouri
[Link]
tebra?
Thephoner
ingst
ovoi
cemai
l.
Itryagainandsamet hi
[Link]'
m worr
ied.
Shewant edtoleavewit
[Link]
inghis
favouri
[Link]
headar enotl
ookinggood.
It
ryagai
nandt
hist
imesomeoneanswer
s.
"
Hel
[Link]
uleki
"
"AhIthi
[Link]
ustl
eft
.He
cangethisphone..
..
.."sayssomeonewhodoesn'
t
evensoundli
keMl uleki.
"
Hel
eftwi
thsomeone?
"
"Aaaah,ahhhh.
..
..
."t
hemanhesi
tat
esandIj
ump
quickl
y.
"Iknowhei sver
yfamil
iarwithhi
redent
ertai
nment.
I'
m hissist
erusi
nghisgirl
fr
iend'
[Link]'
ttel
l
her"Ili
e.
"Yeshelef
twi
[Link]
opick
herup.I
'
m sor
ry"saysthemanreal
izi
ngheis
sayi
ngtoomuch.
"I
tscool
"it
snotbutIsai
di'
m hi
ssi
stersoi
thast
o
becool.
"Canyoupl
easelethi
m knowthathewil
lgethi
s
phonefr
om Syabonga.I
'
lll
eaveitwi
thhi
m whenI
l
eave"
"Sur
[Link]
ng"Iendt
hecalland
cont
inuecl
[Link]
Mlul
ekiwil
lneverst
opsleepi
ngwi
thpr
ost i
tut
es.
Chapt
er90

Nqubeko
Ist
opdeadonmyt r
[Link]
andThembekaisleani
ngbackont hecouchnaked
onherupperbodyandshet ouchedherstomach
wit
hoil
[Link] eel
sme
watchi
ngher.
"
Youaredone?Thatwasf
ast
"shesi
tsupandf
ix
t
hecushi
onbehindher
.
"
ItoldyouIwast aki
ngaquickshower
.Youatet
he
wholethi
ng?"Ipointt
hecontai
neront
hecoff
ee
t
able.
"
[Link]'
venevert
astedafat
cook
t
[Link]
"she
l
aughsandherhandr estonherswol
lentummy.
[Link]
owor [Link]
fat
cookwasasbi gasababy'[Link]
offr
enchfr
ies,t
wol ar
gesausages,t
wocheeses
andfewfri
edoxliverpi
[Link]
et hewhole
thi
nginonego.
"
Doyouthinkyoucangetmeapocketofchi
psin
t
hecupboard?
"Sherequest
sasIl
eavetheroom f
or
t
heki
tchen.
"Weareoutoft
hose"Il
[Link]'
tpossi
blyeat
anyt
hingmoreri
ghtnow.
"Thereispopcorninthetopcupboard.I
'l
lhavethat
eventhoughIwant edrealchi
ps"shecompl ai
nsand
Ifeell
ikeabastardsoIopent hecupboardandtake
thechips.
"If
oundthem"Isayoutl
oudbefor
etakingthem
backtot
[Link]
tsupandtakesthepocket
.
"
Thanksmyl
ove"
Iwat
chherasshest
art
sdi
ggi
ngi
[Link]
scan'
tbe
ri
ght
.
"Let'
sgooutt oni
ght
.Wewi l
lgotoarestaur
antand
[Link] chamovieorgot oa
[Link]
ei sanexcl
usi
[Link]
someonewhocangetusi [Link]
oranhourorso"I
suggest.
Hereyesdon'tl
ightupandshedoesn'
tevenl
ook
l
ikesheisheari
ngmer ightnow.
"
CanIhavesome?"Ipoi
ntthechipsandshetur
ns
t
hepockett
owar
[Link] akeafewandeatthem.
"
Idon'
thaveanyt
hingtowearforani
ghtoutandi
'
m
t
oolazyt
ogetoutofthecouch"
"Thembekawecamewi thtwosuit
casesf ul
lof
[Link]
hatnavydressIli
[Link]
weart [Link] th
redsol [Link]"[Link]' tdoneanythi
ng
sincewecameher [Link]
sandsl eep.I
'
m
starti
ngt othi
nkit
sboredom.
"Orwecanwat chamovi
e,havesexandhavei
ce
cream"shesuggest
swit
hasmi l
eonherface.
"
[Link]
egoi
ngout
.Wecanhavesexaf
ter
"
"Bondage?
"Icanseeherst
art
ingt
oshi
newi
th
excit
ement.
"I
fIsayyesyouwil
lgetofft
hecouchandwecan
gooutli
kenormalpeopl
e?"Ibar
gai
nandshe
i
nstant
lyget
sup.
"Saynomor e"shegrabshersl
ipper
sanddisappear
[Link]
lowherandcheckifsheis
real
lyshoweri
ngbeforemakingacallt
oDrNgcobo.
It
'slat
ebutheysheget spai
dforthi
ssoshehast o
answer.
"
MrMbonambi
"sheanswer
swhent
hecal
lget
t
hrough.
"Evening.I
'
m sor
rytobotheryousolat
[Link]
someadvi sepl
ease"Ichecktheshowerandit'
ssti
ll
runningsosheisnotli
steni
ngtomycal l
.
"
IsThembekaokay?
"
"Shewon'[Link]
lshedoesiseatand
[Link]'tgetmestart
edonherappeti
[Link]
ear
shewi l
lgetsickift
hisgoeson"Imovetothe
balconyandcl oset
hedoorbehindme.
"
Sher
efusest
ogoout
?"Sheasks.
"[Link] acei
sbeautiful
.
Sheshouldwanttoexploretheci
[Link]
j
usteatsamount ai
noff oodandsnackonwhat ever
shefindsbef
oreshesitsonthecouchandwat ch
[Link]
ed"
"
Shei spregnantsot heappet
it
ecouldalsobe
fuel
ledbyt hatbutshelossofener
gyisnotokay.
Haveyousuggest edsomethi
ngshemi ghtl
ike?
Anythingthatyouknowshel oves?
"
"Shewantstospiceupoursexlif
[Link]
hinki
t
needsspi
cingbutshewant stotr
[Link]
saidi
fwegooutshecangetherf ant
asy"it
sgood
thati
tsacallnotfacet
[Link]
beheari
ngaboutmysexl if
e.
"
Andyouhaveapr
obl
em wi
thbondage?
"
"Howam Isupposedtomakelovetoherwhileshe
i
st i
[Link]
magesIgetinmy
headarenotgood"It
sevenworsenotthatIknow
whatshewentthrough.
"
Haveyout
oldherabouthowyouf
eel
?"
"Ther
eisnoreasoni
ngwithherwhenshehasher
[Link]'
seit
herIgivei
norshewil
lst
art
cryi
[Link]"
Thedoctort
akesadeepbreat
[Link]
so
real
izi
nghowcompli
catedthi
ssit
uati
onreal
lyi
s.
"
That'
semot i
onalblackmailandyoucan' tgivei
nall
t
hetimeshedoesi t
.Sheneedst ol
earnt oreason
MrMbonambi .Bri
ngingupt hesubjectgentleand
t
alki
[Link]
makesureshelist
[Link]
eonedoesn' talways
getsthei
rway"hertonehasgonefrom afri
endl
y
therapi
sttot
hatofagrandmothertel
li
ngher
grandchil
daboutt
heharshreali
tyofl
ife.
"
I'
llt
ry"
"AndMbonambi ,Thembekawi llcry.I
t'
shuman
natur
et ocr
ysodon' talwaysfearseeinghert
ears
toapointofcompromi singyourselft
oavoidseei
ng
[Link] st
andt hatsometi
mes
youjustdon'
tgetyourway"
"
ThanksMa'am"Iseethedooropeni
ngwhi
ch
meansineedtoendthecal
l"Ihavet
ogonowbut
i
'
llbei
ntouch"
"Noprobl
[Link] ouchonthe
eat
[Link]'
tmakeitsoundli
keaninsul
t"
shesoundslikeshewantstolaugh.
"Iwil
[Link]"Iendthecal
lbef
oreshereachest
he
[Link]
eshe
comesoutj usti
ncasesomeonecanseeher .
"Wer
eyoucall
ingPhil
iandthekids?
"Shesmell
s
l
ikeashowergelandIfi
ghttheneedtot
akeherto
bed.
"[Link]
[Link]
dea"It
hrowt
he
phoneonthebed.
"Aboutwhat"herhandkeepspl
ayi
ngwi t
hherni
ppl
e.
Iwonderifsheisawareofheract
ionsornot
.
"[Link]
ngdiffer
ent?I'
m
thi
nkingroleplay"i
tst
hesafestt
hingIcouldthi
nk
offr
ightnow.
"
Rol
epl
ayhow?
"
"[Link] hingsexyandacarwi l
l
comepi ckyouupi nanhour .Theywi l
ltakeyou
somewher [Link] her
eyouar easingle
womanandyouwi l
lbeforther estofthenight.
Singlepeopleareall
owedt opickupst rangersand
takethem homef oranight"Iwinkandshesmi les
[Link]
swi l
lbesomuchbecauseIhavet he
upperhand.
"Wearsomet
[Link]
arr
angement
s"Itakemyphoneandleavet
her
oom.

*
****
****
*
Thembeka

Theplacelooksni [Link] ycosycompar edtot he

i
deaIhadi nmi [Link]' sdriverdroppedmeof f
andstayedbecauseNqubekosai dt oneverleave
mealone.I'm wear i
ngabl acklit
tledressthat
accommodat esmypr egnantst [Link] ea
l
eatherjacketovert hedr essj usttomakesur ethatI
don'
tgetcol [Link] et heshoesNqubekol oveso
[Link] hi
nkt heyar et hemostexpensi vepairof
shoesIhaveandNqubekol ovest hem mor ethan
mebuthet hinksit'
st heot herwayar ound.
"
Aref
il
lmiss?"Askst
hebar
manasIdr
aint
hel
iqui
d
i
nmyglass.
"Yesplease"Ipusht [Link]'
sanonal coholi
c
winesoIdon' tmindanot herdrink."Doesthi
splace
evergetscrowded? "Thedecori smost lywhit
eand
thesit
tingarealookscomf ortable.I
tlooksli
kea
placewherer i
chpeopl ewouldhangoutwhent hey
don'twanttorubshoul derswi t
ht herestofus.
"
[Link]
ghtitshoul
[Link]
lywetry
t
okeept hi
[Link]
t
hingsoutofhandwheni t'
snotwell
managed"he
r
efil
lsmyglass.
Ihavenoideawhati
[Link]
opensandtwomanwal [Link]
keIndi
ans
butIknowtheyar
[Link] oursdolookl
ike
Indi
ans.I
t'
saCapeTownt hingifyouaskme.
Theywalkt
othebarastheot
herguymakesacal
l
theot
heror
dersdr
inks.
"
Hi"heseemst
onot
icemenow.
"Hi
"Ireplywhilel
ooki
[Link] [Link]
de
gri
nthatleavesmebreathl
ess.I
'
m pregnantandI
haven'
tfeltsexyi
nweeksnowsoget ti
ngaman' s
att
enti
onmakesmef eel
allwarm andfuzzy.
"
Isi
tokaytoinvi
teyoufordr
inkswit
hus?Wear
eon
t
hecornerovert
here"hepoi
ntsthet
abl
e.
It
stempti
ngbuti'
m wait
ingf
orNqubeko.I
'
m
supposedtobeasingl
ewomaninthebarandhe
wil
lbeastranger
.
"
Justyou?
"Ipoi
ntt
heot
herguyaswel
l.
"Wehavefewmor efr
iendscomi
ngover"hesmi
les
andIcan'
tgetoverhowhandsomeheis.
"That
'sgreat
.I'
llcomejoi
nwhent heygethere"I
repl
yandhel [Link]
hewai ter
andhandhert hedrinksf
orthecornert
[Link]
menf ol
lowherandt heotherwi
nksatme.
Isi
tst
il
landsi
pmydr
ink.
Threeladi
esandtwomenwal [Link] hey
dotheystartl
aughi
[Link]
arethepeoplewhowerecomingl ater
.Theladi
es
i
gnor emebuttheguygreet
sbefor etheyj
ointhei
r
fr
[Link]
'sagoodt
hingIdi
dn'tj
oi nthem.

*
****
***

"I
st hisseatt
aken?"Amanspeaksnextt
omeandI
l
ookathi [Link]
izethati
'
m
[Link]
ookssodif
fer
[Link]
[Link]
ishhai
rcutandt
ri
mmedhi sbeard.
Helookssohandsomeandver ydi
ffer
[Link]
NqubekoIknowcanl ooksodamnf i
neinnormal
pant
sandat -
shir
[Link]
swear i
ngablack
t-
shi
rt,
blackj
eansanddar kt
imber
landboots.
"Theseat
.Isi
ttaken?
"Heasksagai
nwhenIdon'
t
answer.
"
It
'snot
"Isayi
tqui
ckl
ywhenIsnapoutofi
t.
Hesmi l
esandpushthechai
rcl
oserbefor
esi
tt
ing.
Thebarmantakeshi
sorderandhetel
lshi
mtor ef
il
l
mydrinkaswell
.
"
Sot
[Link] sapregnantwomansit
tingal
one
i
napl
aceliket
his?"Hedoesn'tevensmi
le.
Mysmi l
ef adeswhenIl [Link] ooksso
dif
[Link] hatIknowandmar r
ieddoesn't
l
ookt [Link]'tseenhimlookingli
ket hisatall
.
Nqubekoi sasui [Link] ness
worldwi t
houthi m sayi
ngitoutloud,butrightnow
helooksl i
keahandsomemanpi cki
ngupasi ngle
womani nt [Link]'
m averypregnantwomani n
thebar.
"
Whosai
dpr
egnantwomencan'
thavef
un?
"Ir
epl
y
andhesmil
[Link]
etsmi
let
hatdoesn'
tst
ayl
ong
i
nhisli
ps.
"
Soyoul
ikehavi
ngf
un?
"HeasksandInod.
"
Whatki
ndoff
un?
"
"
Anyt
hingt
hatmakesmehappy"
Henodsandtakeshisdr
[Link]
bef
oreIl
ookathim andf
indhim wat
chi
ngme.
"I
t'
srudet
ost
are"It
easeandhel
aughsandr
aisea
hand.
"Forgi
[Link]
iful
.Ican'
t
helpbutst
areatyou"hesmil
esanditmakesme
[Link]
sthewayhesaiditt
hatmakesme
wanttoweep.
"
Event
houghI
'
mfatandIeatl
ikeapi
g"
"
What?"Helookspuzzl
[Link]
hinkI
'
ver
uinedt
he
whol
ething.
"Ihaveahugeappet
it
[Link]
ustcan'
tst
opeat
[Link]
s
babyistur
ningmeint
o..
..
."Hecut
smeoff.
"
Thesexi
estwomani
'
veeverl
aidmyeyesonand
bel
ieveme,
I'
veseenbeaut
if
ulwomeni
nmyl
if
e"
"Youreal
lyt
hinkIl
ooksexy?
"i'
m nol
ongerr
ole
playi
ngnow.
"Areyoukiddi
ngme?Babe, haveyoulooked
yoursel
finthemir
rorl
atel
[Link]
thanyou"hetakesmyhandst ohis.
"
Event
houghmyboobs.
..
."Hecut
smeof
fagai
n.
"Becamealit
tl
ebigger
?Theyar
esti
llf
ine"hel
et'
s
goandfini
shhisdri
nkbef
orehepul
lsouthiswall
et.
"I
'
m payi
ngforherdr
inksaswel
l
"het
ell
sthe
barmanwhoringsupthebi
ll
.
"Wear
eleavi
ng?"Ifeell
ikewedi
dn'
tachi
eveour
pur
[Link].
"[Link]
acest
oseeandt
hingst
odo"
hesayimpati
ent
ly.
"
Hey"sayssomeonebehi
[Link]
i
t'
sthesameguyItal
kedtoear
li
[Link]
esand
Nqubekofr
owns.
"
Ishebother
ingyou?"Hej
erkhisheadtowards
Nqubekowhoraisedhi
seyestothequesti
on.
"
Nohei
snot
"Ir
epl
y.
"Theoff
erst
il
lst
[Link]
oinus"he
offer
s.
"
Thanksbut
..
..
."
"Shei
[Link]
ookingoutt
hough"
saysNqubekocut
ti
ngmeof f
.Themanl ooksl
ikehe
wantstosaysomethi
ngbutstops.
"I
twasni
cetomeetyou"headdsbef
orewal
king
[Link]
hwatchhim wal
kaway.
"
[Link]'
thel
phimsel
f"says
Nqubekoof
fer
ingahandtohelpmeoffthechai
r.
"
Sowearegoingbackt
otheapar
tment
?"Iask
whi
lepul
li
ngmydressdownabit
.
heleansoverunti
lhisli
psarebrushi
ngmyear [Link]
's
ti
ckl
ishsoiletoutalaugh"Yesbutfi
rsti'
m goi
ngto
haveyouinthecarandt henmakelovetoyoulater"
hesaysslowlybefor
et ur
ningt
omyl [Link]
andthefool
sst ar
tcheeri
ngandclapping.
Chapt
er91
Thembeka
Thel i
ghtsar eturnedl owandMar vinGaye’ sSexual
Healingispl ayingasNqubekowal [Link] l
es
andpul lsouthi st i
eont hebackpocketofhi sj eans.
Hebr ingshi swr istt
oget heri ndicat i
ngIshoul dto
[Link] ingt hem f orwar dforhi mt otie
[Link] ickshi slowerl i
psandsmi l
e.“ Thisis
whatyouwant , r
ight?”saysi nacoolt onet hat
makesmef eelal lwar m andhor [Link] dI
becomet hisper son?Inodandsmi l
eathi m.“ Out
l
oudMaKhumal o”hewhi sper sashet iesmywr i
st
together.“[Link] his”Iswal l
owhar dashe
smilesandpul ltheknotabi ttightertochecki fit’
s
secureenough.“ Movef ur t
herup”hei nstructandI
[Link] othecl osetandcomebackwi tha
[Link]’
snotal ongbarbuti thassomest r
ingsi n
eachend.“ Feetapar t”hei nstructbef or eplacingt he
barbet weenmyl [Link] hatandt rynott omoan
whenhet raceshi sfinger sonmyl eg.“Thisbar
l
ocks.I fyoumoveyourl egsapar tyoucan’ tclose
them agai [Link] hinkcar ef ullybef oreyouopenyour
l
egswi de”“Okay”It r ytomakemyvoi cesoundal l
slut
tybuti tcomesouti nahoar sewhi sper s.
Nqubekol aughsandki ssmyt highwhi chmakesme
movemylegsandthebarl
ocks.“
Itdoest
hat
”he
wi
nksandkissesmyli
ps.
*
****
****
****
*
Thesongr est
artsandNqubekost artstakinghis
shoesof [Link] akest hem of fsl owlyhi seyesf i
xed
[Link] tashet akest hesocksof faswel l
.The
j
acketf oll
owsandt het -shirtf oll
[Link] svest
comesof fevensl owert hant heshoesandsocks.
Whenher emoveshi sj eanshest artsgrindinghis
hipssl owl [Link]’ thaveasi xpackbuthe
doeshaveani cest omachnotapot bell
[Link]
comeof fleavingjusthi sunder wear .Hedances
slowlyt ot hesongandI ’
m al lwar mi [Link]
cent r
ei sal lhotandf il
li
[Link] dhavesomei n
thecarbuti twasmost lyhim wor kinghi sli
psonme
soI ’
m al lwetandr [Link]
l
egshaveopenedmuchmor [Link] kscloserand
cli
mbst hebedbef orehegr abst hebarandpul l
sme
towar dshi [Link] egsopenevenf urtherandhe
raisesaneyebr ow.“ Soscandal ous’ MaKhumal o.
Lookhowwetyouar e”her unshi shandovermy
wetf leshandt urni toverf ormet osee.I t’
sdr i
pping
[Link] i
psandsaynot hing.“ Youwantt o
cum? ”Inodqui ckly.“Idi dn’[Link]
tocum? ”hi svoi ceisf ullofaut hority.“Yes”It akea
deepbr eat h.“Makeyour [Link] ei savi deo”
hegr absar emot eandt urnsont [Link] s
furi
ouslyr ubbi nghercl i
tandmoani ngsol oud.I ’
m
[Link] ewupbei ngt oldt hatpor nogr aphyi s
dirt
yandoneshoul dn’tmakei tahabi ttowat chi t
.
“Don’[Link] enotget ti
ngmydi ck
untilyou’vecum onyourown”“ But…. .
”Istar tt o
speakbuthepl aceshi shandonmyl i
ps.“ Nobut s.
Justmakeyour selfcum l i
keshei sdoi ng” Icl osemy
eyesandl owermyhandsunt ilI’
mt ouchingmysel f.
I’
m slipper y.“Goonbaby”heencour [Link] ouch
mysel fthreet imesbef oret hepl easur er i
pt hrough
mesohar dandI ’
ml ef tshudder ingast hewaveof
pleasuresl owl [Link] dn’tdoi tli
keheratal l.
Shei sstillfuri
ousl yr ubbi ngher selfandmoani ng.
“Dammi [Link] thyou”hebi teshi s
l
ipsandki ssesmyt hi gh.“ Ijustneedagoodsex”I
whispernotknowi ngwhatIdowi t
hmywethands.
Nqubekonot i
cest hisandsmi le.“ThenI ’
l
lgi veyou
goodsexbaby”heget supandwal kst ot hecl oset.
Hepul lsoutsomet hingt hatl ooksliker opeswi th
[Link] ar eashewal ksbackandgr abt he
barpul l
ingmebackt ot hever yedgeoft [Link] s
kneespushesmel egswi dewhent hebarcomesof f
buthehol dsmykneesi [Link] ringsar e
fortheknees.I tbendst hem ashet iesi taroundmy
kneeandl owert [Link] eel soexposedandunabl e
toclosemyl egsevenwhenIt rytomove.“ Youwant
tober estri
cted?Ti edl i
ket his?”hisvoi ceissexy
anddeep.“ Yes”Idon’ tevenhesi [Link] he
samet omyl [Link] sdonehepul l
sme
upbackt othemi ddleoft hebedbef oreunbi nding
myhandst ogether .Istretchmyar msandr ubt he
[Link]’ttightbutIhavemar ksf rom the
pulli
ngwhenIcame.“ Handst ogether ”hei nstructs
andIobeyashet iest hem agai [Link] st imehe
pushesmedownont hepi l
lowandt iesmyhands
ont hebedpost .“ Youwantbondage?I ’
m giving
youbondage”hesaysandki ssesmyl [Link] ss
i
sl [Link] i
ndmysel fmoani ngandpul li
ng
myar ms.
*
****
****
****
*
Therei ssomucht easingI ’m pant ingandt ryi
ngso
hardnott oyel lathi mt ogetonwi thi t
.“Youdon’ t
cum unt i
lItellyout o”hei nst ruct [Link] histime
andcl osemyeyesasIf eel him st retchingmewi de.
Hedoesi tsl
owl yunt ilhei sallinandIcan’ teven
wrapmyl egsar oundhi m.“ Shi t
”hegr untsandpul ls
[Link] youtatt hel ossofcont actbuthegoes
backi ni mmedi atelyandbal anceshi msel fonhi s
for
ear [Link] nnermuscl escont ractandIcant ell
I’
m goi ngt [Link]’ tst opt hrust i
ngand
eacht hr usttouchesacer tai
npl acei nsidemeandI
can’tstopmoani ngandmovi ngmyl owerbodyt o
meethi sthrust s.“Don’ tdoi tThembeka.I ’
m
warningyou”hehi ssesandst opsmovi ng.“Please
don’t”Ibegwhi ledesper atelyt r
yi ngt ogethi m back.
Hest aresatmehi sf acegoi ngsof tandt henhe
l
ower shi sli
psi nt omi [Link] ssandhest arts
movi ngagai [Link]’ tbr eakt heki ssbutt he
thr
ust sar enowdeepandf ast .Iti ntenseandI ’m
goingt ocum.“ Please”Ibegashepul lshisl i
ps
awayf r om mi ne.“ Notyet ”hepushesmeupunt i
l
myt highsar er estingonhi [Link] eturni
ng
i
ntol oudscr eamsandt hatencour ageshi mt o
thrustdeeperandhar [Link] heor gasm f inall
y
hitsmeher eacheshi sownandst il
lsinsi
demewi th
mymuscl esar oundhi m.“ Shi t”hegat hersmei nhis
armsasIf eelhisseedi nsi [Link] nutepasses
befor ehepul l
soutandunt iesmyhands.“ Iloveyou
Thembeka”hewhi sper s“ Iloveyout oo”west areat
eachot herandl augh.“ Ididn’thur tyou? ”“
NobutI
needmykneesunt iedbaby.I ’mt ired”Hegr absa
stri
ngandknotcomesof [Link] eftlegisfreedf i
rst
andt henther ightlegf [Link] ubst hebackof
thekneebef oreheki ssesmyswol [Link]
babyki cksandIknowt hatNqubekocan’ tfeelthe
kickbutI ’
m happyt of eelt heki ckwhenhet ouches
me.“ Youar esot ight .Thewayyouar esot i
ghtI ’
m
wonder ingifyouwi llbeabl et ost retchenoughf or
thebabyt ocomeout ”Idon’ tknowwhyhehast o
bringi tupt histopic.I ’m al r
eadyt ryingsohar dnot
tot hinkabouthavi ngt hebabycomeoutofme.
Whoknows, maybebyt hatt i
met herewi l
lbea
mi [Link] ent istwi llfindal esspainfulway
ofgi vingbirth.
Chapt
er92
Phi
li
.

"Phi
li
.Thepolicearehere"saysS'nqobi l
ewaki
ng
meupf rom sl
[Link] ooksfri
[Link]
tupand
checktheti
me.I t
'salmostmidnightandwear eal
l
heresoIdon'tunderstandwhyt hepolicewoul
dbe
hereatthi
stimefortheni ght
.
Thebuzzergoesof
fagai
nandwebot hjump.
Dabulaal
[Link]
sdooropeni
ngand
cl
osing.
Isl
iponmyslipper
sandrushtothepassage.
Dabul
aisal
readyinthel
oungeopeni
ngt hedoor
.
"
Whatdot
heywant
?"IaskasIf
oll
owhi
m out
.
Twopoli
cemenst epcl
osertot
hegatewhil
ethe
secondpol
icecari
sparkedonthest
reet
.
"Mi
ssPhil
iswaKhumalo.I
ssheher
e?"Askonoft
he
pol
icemanasweapproach.
"
It
'sher
"saysanot
[Link]
opgett
ingcloser
.Whatif
t
heyareheret
oarrestme?ButIhaven'
tbrokenany
l
aw.
"Doyouknowthi
sman? "Anotherpol
icepul
lsout
hisphonet
oshowmeaphot [Link]
aiscloserso
heseesthephot
ofi
rst
.
"
It
'sMl
uleki
"het
ell
sme.
Ist
epcl
oserandlookatt
hephot
o.I
t'
sMl
uleki
.He
l
ooksal
lbrui
sedup.
"
Whathappened?
"Iaskunabl
etost
opmysel
f.
Theydon'
tanswerinst
eadt
hesecondpol
icecari
s
openandthepol
icemanhel
psMluleki
outoft
hecar.
"I
t'
[Link]
ler
sand
somesl eep"theyhelpMlul
ekiget
scl
osertothe
[Link]
yopensinandMlulekihol
dson
tohimforsuppor t.
"Wecoul dhavetakenhi mtothehospitalbutwe
didn'twantpeopl easkingquest
ionsMl uleki
can't
answer .Tel
lhim,nexttimehemi ghtnotbeso
l
ucky"war nsthepolicemanastheygobackt otheir
car [Link] ol
lowbehindDabul aas
Ml ulekili
mpst othehouse.
*
****
***

DabulaputsMlulekionthecouchandIgetawet
towelandthefir
staidkittocleanhim [Link] nces
witheachtouchbutsaysnot [Link]
aloneandS'nqobileal
sosaysgoodni ghtafter
watchingever
ythingstandinginthepassage.
"
I'
m sor
ry"saysMl
ulekit
hemomentwear
eal
one.
Idon'
tsayanyt
hingi
nsteadIf
ocusoncover
ingt
he
smallcut
sonhisarm wit
haplast
er.
"Phi
li
"hesaysagai
nwheni
t'
scl
eart
hatIwon'
t
answer.
Iignor
ehim andcl
oset
heki
tbef
oret
aki
ngi
tback
tothebat
hroom.
Igotthebedroom andS'
nqobi
lei
sbackinbedwit
h
Celi
[Link]
lowandablanketbef
oret
aki
ngit
backtoMl ul
eki
.
"
Thanks"hesayswhenIgi
vehi
mthepi
ll
ow.
Inodandt
urndownt
hel
ight
.
"
[Link]
'st
alk"hebegs.
"Thereisnot
hingtotal
[Link]
pil
lsshouldki
ckinsoon"Irepl
yquickl
yandstart
[Link] nj
ured
personhemovesver yfast
.
"
Thenyouwi
lll
ist
[Link]
t"hecommandshi
sgr
ip
t
ight
eni
ngonmyar m.
Helet
'sgowhenIwi
nce."
I'
m sor
[Link]
easehearme
out
"hebegs.
Iremai
nstandi
ngforamomentbef
orefi
nal
lysi
tt
ing
downopposit
[Link]
sosi
tsandwincewhenhe
movestofast
.
"IwenttoattackFranci
[Link]
[Link] set
[Link] ancisi
satthe
hospit
[Link]
bsanddislocatedjaw"he
expl
ainswhi l
escratchi
nghischeek.
"Butyouwerei
nthebarandyoul
eftwi
thahooker
.I
call
edandthebar
manhadyourphone"
"
Dai
sywasj
ustat
rapt
ogetmedr
unkandt
akeher
homewithmesoFr anci
sandhismancouldsetme
[Link]
essedandIwenttoconf
ronthi
m"he
cl
ickhi
stongue.
"
Setyouuphow?
"
Hel
ooksatmeandsaysnothi
ngf
oraful
lmi
nut
e.I
r
emainqui
etandwai
[Link]
akesadeepbr
eat
h.
"Theyweregoi
ngtosayIr apedher
.Canyoubeli
eve
i
t?Firsthet
ri
estoshitwit
hyouandnowhe....
"The
soundofhisfi
sthi
tt
ingthetablemakesmejump.
"
Sor
[Link]
dn'
tmeant
odot
hat
"her
ubshi
sfi
st.
"Sohowcomet hepol
icebr
oughtyouoveri
nst
ead
ofthehospi
tal
?"Orj
ail
?ButIdon'
tsayt
hatoutl
oud.
"
Somet
imesi
tswhoyouknow"heshr
ugs.
"
Soyoudi
dn'
tsl
eepwi
thDai
sy?
"
Hel
ooksatmei
nshock.
"That
'
swhyyouar
eangr
y?Yout
hinkIcheat
edon
you?"
"
Ical
[Link]
etal
[Link]
f
avouri
tebr
aandsuddenlyi
'mforgot
[Link]
wouldyouconcl
udei
fyouwer
eme?
"Myvoi
cei
sa
l
it
tl
elouder
.
"
Iwoul
dgi
veyouabenef
itofadoubt
"heshout
s.
"
Well
youdohaveathi
ngf
orr
ent
[Link]
t
hebarmanknows"
"Andi'm notsl
eepi
ngwit
hthebar
[Link]
thi
nksofmeIdon' tgi
[Link]
atleastt
rustme"
"
AndIdo"
"[Link].I
'
llbegonei
nthemor
ning"he
saysdi
smissi
vel
y.
Idon'
tmove.
"
Iam al
lowedtohavedoubt
sMlul
eki
.Theday
wasn'
texact
lyahi
tandyouwereangrywhenyou
l
eftsowhatwasIsupposet
othi
nk?"
"Iwasn'[Link].I
thurt
st hat
yourkidsactedl i
keIhel
dt hem hostagewiththe
outi
[Link]' tli
kemeandt hereisnofakingi
t"
hefixesthepill
ow.
"
Givet
hem t
[Link]
est
il
ltr
yingt
ofi
ndt
hei
r
wayaroundal
lthi
s"Ir
eal
lyneedt
otal
ktoCel
iwe
aboutt
his.
"Andyou?Doyouwantt
hem t
oli
keme?
"Heasks
befor
elayi
ngdown.
"
[Link]
ndofquest
ioni
sthat
?"
"
It
'saquest
ion"
"YouknowIdobutIcan' tfor
cethem i
ntoasituat
ion.
Theyarejustkidstr
yingtofi
ndthei
rwayaroundal l
thi
s"Ihat
et hatIsoundli
kei'
m makingexcusesfor
mykids.
"
Youmeantheyarej
ustki
dswhopr
eferNqubeko
t
[Link]
t"het
urnsandf
acet
heotherway.
"Ican'
ttal
ktoyouwhenyouar eli
kethi
[Link] l
l
tal
kinthemor ning"Idon'
twaitf
orhi
mt orepl
[Link]
peoplearen'
tsleepingIwoul
dslam t
hedoorsohe
knowsIwi shtoslam himforbei
ngdramatic.

*
****
***
Ifi
ndS'nqobil
esti
llawakeandbit
inghernai
[Link]
i
snervousaboutsomet hi
ngandIhopeit'
snot
somethingthatwi
llpi
ssmeof f
.
"
Phi
li
"shespeaksbef
oreIcoul
dgetbackt
obed.
"
Whati
sit
?"
"
Ithi
nkIneedt
omovet
oJohannesbur
g"
Ist
opmovi
ngandl
ookather
.
"Asi
nJohannesbur
g?"Iaskjusttobesur
e.I
'
m
angr
ysoit
'seasytomisunderst
andwhenyouar
e
angr
yatsomethi
ng.
"
Yes.I
'
lll
ookf
oraj
obt
her
eandseewher
eli
fet
akes
me"
"Toprost
itut
ion?Whatelseisoutthereforwomen
l
ikeyouandMeNqo?Doyout hi
nkthereis
someoneoutt her
ewill
ingtotakesomeonel ikeyou
i
nt hatpl
ace?"ShewincesandIr eal
izei
'm being
harsh.
"
Youwil
lbealonether
[Link]
labuseyouthen
t
hrowyououttothestr
eetassoonasyoustop
maki
ngthem money"Imovefrom mybedandsit
nextt
oher
.
"Butherei
tsnotl
ikeweareget
ti
ngahappil
yever
aft
[Link]
lhappentousshoul
dNqubeko
decidehehashadenoughofourfami
ly?Hewil
l
thr
owusi nthest
reets"
"ForgetNqubeko.I
'm worki
ngonmyownpr oj
ect
NqoandIwashopi ngthatyouandThembekacould
bepar tofi
[Link]
nthef
ami l
[Link]
he
threeofusdoingsomet hi
ngthatwi
llnotonl
ymake
usmoneybutwi l
lhelpmanywomenl ikeusout
there"
"
Partofi
taswhat?Ican'
thandl
eanyt
hingt
hat
r
equir
estopl
eveleducat
ion"
"St
opselli
ngyour selfshort
.Thati
sexact
lywhyI
wantedust oworkt ogether
.Wehavediff
erentski
ll
s
andallofthem areneeded"Ilowermyvoicewheni t
soundsli
keI '
m yell
ingather.
"Okayfi
[Link] ul
ekidon'
t
seem tobegoingsmoot [Link]
thedeci
desto
stepbackbeforeweevenst ar
t?I
'
m nottr
yingt
obe
apartypooperbutthesethi
ngshappen"
"Eveni
fMl
ulekiwalksawayi 'l
lfi
ndawayt orai
se
moneyandgetusr unning.I'
vetastedthel
evelI
wantNqoandI'm notlett
inganyonet akei
taway"I
f
hedumpsmeI '
llsti
llusehisconnectionsandst
art
onasmall
erscalebutIwon' tgiveup.
Shenodsandpul l
sthebl
anketuptoherneck.
Seeingherdothi
smakesmer eal
izethati
'
m not
doingthi
[Link]
lowedtobeafrai
dandI
shouldoff
ercomforti
nst
eadofyell
ing.
"[Link] enotgoi
ngbackther
[Link]
afteral
[Link]
goingtoletf [Link]
egoi ng
tobef i
[Link] herwear egoi
ngtobeokay"Ioffer
myhandandshehol dsoutherbefor
eshesmiles.
"Okay"shegivesmeasqueezebeforel
ett
inggo.I
alsogetint
obedandfi
xtheblanketsar
oundme.
"SowhenThembekacomesbackwear
egoi
ngt
o
star
twor
kingonyourpr
oject
?"
"
[Link]
hreeproposalstodoandwear egoi
ng
t
ostar
ttomorr
[Link] ghthavetogoseeMiss
Hi
ldai
nTongaattomorrowevening"shei
scoming
wit
hmeandIhopeMl ul
ekiwon'
tthr
owaf itwhenI
t
akeanuber
.ButI
'
lldealwit
hthatpartwhenIget
t
here.

*
****
***

Nqubeko

"
Nqubeko"heanswer
sonthethir
dri
ngandIhear
t
hebeepingoft
hedoorashestepsout
.
"I
tst
ooearlyforyout
obedr
oppi
ngPhi
liof
[Link]
d
youstayover
? "
"IbeatupFr
anci
sl astni
[Link]
broughtmeovertoPhili
.Perfectal
ibi
"heexpl
ains
andIhearali
ghtergoingoff.
"
Whatdi
dyoudoMl ul
eki
?"Ihi
ssbecauseIcan'
tbe
t
ool
[Link]
il
lsl
eepi
ng.
"Iwoul
[Link]
li
ngtotakei
tslowl
y
unti
lIwassat
isf
iedbuttheysentDai
syoverto
[Link] ngt ocryrapeNqubeko.
Canyoui maginePhi l
ihearingthatI'vebeen
accusedofsexualassaul t?Theycr ossedt heli
ne.
SoIdraggedDai syover .Hadherspi ll
inghergut s
andthenwentovert [Link] l
edf orbackup
andIgavei ttohim [Link] l
edJackand
theybroughtmeover .WhichwasgoodbecauseI
wasnowher enearFrancis'
shospitalr oom last
night
.Iwasont hecouchi nThembeka' shouse"I
canhearhim pul l
ingthecigaret
teandt henexhali
ng
slowl
y.
"SoFranci
sisdead?Befor
ePhil
icouldconfront
him?"Hesaidhewantedhertoseehim athis
l
owestsoshedoesn'tcarr
ytheinci
dentwithher.
"Shewasn'[Link]
keItol
dyou
befor
e,Phil
idoesn'tt
akeinst
ruct
ionsonsomethi
ng
sheisnotwill
[Link]
hat
shewasn'tgoingtodothat"
"Gi
vethegirlabr [Link] ssti
lladj
usti
ngto
everyt
hingelse"unlikeus,womencan' tjustbecome
somethingdifferentthatquickl
[Link]
iisastubbor
n
personbynat [Link].
"Yeahwellevenherki
dsdon'
tseem t
oli
keme.I
'
m
start
ingt
ot hi
nkmaybeIwasn'
tcutoutf
orFami
ly
anyway"
"Don'tsayt
[Link]
keyoutheyar
ejustas
scaredasyouar e"i
tcan'tbeeasyseei
ngaman
takeyourmotherallt
het i
me.
"[Link] ri
[Link] t
hings,tri
edto
engagei nthei
rconversat
[Link]'
tevenknow
whatdr agonballzorwhatispowerr angers.I
thoughtpowerr angerwasabat t
eryorsomet hi
ng
butsti
llIcouldfeelther
eject
[Link]'dratheri
t'
s
you"
"It
'snotrej
ecti
on.I
t'
sasl owpr ocessMl ul
[Link]
don'twanttobeaonehi twonder ,
ri
ght?Youwantt o
beaf ullt
imeparentandf orthatitneedsto
[Link] obui l
[Link]
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ter.
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yout [Link] eat h, f
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tlepeopl e
[Link] hem wat cht hei rPowerRanger s
andi ftheyaskaquest ionengagewi tht [Link]
youar efeeli
ngi swhatt heyar ef eelingf oryout oo.
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couchandsaynot [Link] ust hoseki dshavegone
throughal otinaver yshor ttime"myphonebeeps.
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llcan' tbeli
eve
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[Link] '
st het hingaboutsmal l
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andanyr i
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uleki
.
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ead
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ext
message.
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.
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eki
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ckl
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atemy
thought
[Link]
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ngatt
hedoor
smili
ngatme.
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usht
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ms
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.
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ckst
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[Link]'
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ightnow.
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rom Ml
uleki
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l
ucki
lywehaveapi neappleint
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eki'
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ngmet ostayin
CapeTown.
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ocal
lhim asThembekast
art
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ing
grapesandpi
neappleatt
hesameti
me.
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ve
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e"heinst
ruct
.
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ryt
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m
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lyouback"heendst
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Josiahandhiskidsweren'
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ledbutIthoughtit
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lme,
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ri
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ah?
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ooksatme.
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ourcows"sher
epl
ies
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ing.
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?"
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apesi
nbed
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k
aheadandfol
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ncash"I
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tforMl
uleki
'
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ckly."
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t
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.Itmi
ghtbeof
ftoo"I
suggest
.It
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eadybutnowt heyareof
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Shetakesasl
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ace
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augh.
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tst
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apes"
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amat icpersoninsi
de
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hands.
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ghtneedt
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es.
"
[Link]
hingf
oryoubot
h"I
r
epl
y.
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er93
Thembeka
Icant el
lsomet hingiswr ongbutNqubekoi shiding
i
tf r
om [Link]’ tbeenokaysi nceIf oundhi min
thekitchentalkingquietl
ywi thMl uleki
.Iaskedand
theanswerwas“ i
t’
snothi ngserious, j
ustbusiness”
thenhesmi l
edbef orehest art
edmaki nglovetome.
Nott hatIhatedsexbutt hewayhewas, wasjust
scaryandIt ellcouldthathewasemot i
onalabout
somet hing.“Areyougoi ngt oswi m overorIshoul d
comeovert here?”Idon’twantt oswi [Link]
tostayint hi
swat erandf l
oatli
ket hisstomachi sn’
t
[Link] herishott odayandi tfeelsgoodt o
beswi mmi ngi nahotsun.“ Comeoni n”Ireplyand
watchmyf eet .Hej umpsi nandswi mt owar dsme.
Itbeengood, everythingjustgoi ngsmoot hunt i
lthat
phonecal landnowi t’
[Link] mt otalk
[Link] lmewhat ’swrong.“ Hey”hel if
tsmeup
andIl etoutal [Link]’ thelpmysel f.“Hey
yourself ”Ihol dont ohim whenhef i
nallylowersme
down.“ Youl ookbeaut i
ful
”“ Thankyou”somet imesI
dof eellikeNqubekoi sfeeli
ngsadf orme.I ta
feel
ingIgetwheneverhel ooksatmel ikethereis
somet hinghewant stosaybutwon’ tsayi [Link]
spendal otoft i
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ngbutwebot h
gotusedt ogi vingeachot herwhatweal ways
assumedt heot herneeded.“ Iwant edust ogo
[Link] lesawayandt henit
happened”hesaysandIseet hesadnessi nhis
eyes.“Mybr eakdown? ”henodsandhol dsmyhand
whenIst artt ofloatagain.“Ngcobosai ditwas
goingt ohappenanywaysoIt hinkweshoul dbe
gladitcameandwent ”Itakehi sot herhandand
startkicki ngmyf eetinthewat er.“Ineverwantyou
tofeelliket hatagai n”“It
’ssomet hingwebot hhave
[Link]
fewil
lhappenthewayit
[Link]’ tchange”Hedoesn’
t
repl
yandIcontinuetoswim st
il
lholdi
ngontohim.
*
***
***
***
***
**
“Iknowyoul ovewat erbutyouhavet oeatnow”
saysNqubekof orthe3r dtimenow.I ’
m st arvingbut
I’
m havingsomuchf uninwat erIj ustdon’ twantt o
getoutyet.“Fewmor eminutes”Ibegandgounder
thewat er
.Ideepmysel ffewmor et i
mesas
Nqubekost andst herewithhi shandsonhi s
waistli
neandadi sapprovingface.“ Youngl adyyou
bettergetoutofther ebeforeIcomegetyoumysel f”
hewar nsandi tmakesmel augh.“ Yahyahpa.I ’m
comi ngoutnow”Iswi mt hest airsandpul lmysel f
[Link] ushesoverwi thatowel .“Comeeat .Imade
somesandwi ches”het akesmyhandt ohisandwe
bothwal kbackt otheapar tment .Oneoft hel adies
seesusandwaveswi thasmi leonherf [Link]
wavebackandl aughbecauseshei sgivingust he
samel ooktheadul tsgiveayoungcoupl [Link]
diff
erenceisthatwear enotayoungcoupl [Link]
thecouchcover edbyadr yt owelwhi leNqubeko
servesmesandwi [Link] ngatt hem Ir ealize
whyt hel adywassmi l
[Link] he
sandwi chesf orNqubeko.“ Howmuchdi dyoupay
her ?”It akeabi te.“Sheof fer [Link]
excitedyouwer et obeswi mmi ngandsai dyouwi l
l
beoutofener gybyt hetimeyoucomeout ”hesi ts
nextt omeandt akehi sownsandwi ch.“Itwasni ce.
Haven’ tenj oyedbei ngpl ayf ulliket his”“Iknow.I ’
m
startingt othinkIshoul dpr epar ef ort wokids” Ist op
chewi ngandl ookathi [Link] enothavi ngt wi ns.
“Thenewbor nandt hemot herwhoi st urni
ngi nt oa
newbor nher self”heduckswhenIt rytohithi m.
“ButIl ovei [Link] eal lowedt obeaschi ldish
asyouwantmyl ove”hi stonei sgoi ngbackt o
seriousnesswhi chmeanst hei ssuei sar oundme
andmyupbr inging.“ Nqubeko.I ft hereissomet hing
aboutmeyouwi lltellme, right ?”“Yes”her eplies
quickl [Link] ei sdef ini
telysomet hingandhei s
hidingi t.“Eveni fyout hinkI ’
m weakandIwon’ tbe
ablet ohandl ei t”“Youar et hest r
ongestper sonI
knowandyoucanhandl eanyt hing”“ ButI ’
m af raid
ofgi vingbi rt
[Link]’ tt
hinkIcangot hrought hat ”I
mi ghtaswel lconf esssi ncewear ebei ngopen
abouteveryt
hing.“
I’
llgetyouthestr
ongest
pai
nkil
ler
[Link] l
lgeteveryt
hing
tomakesur ethatt
heexper i
enceisbet
terforyou”
heleansoverandkissesmyf or
ehead.
*
****
****
****
***
Phi
li
“Thatwasn’ tsohar dwasi t?”IaskS’ nqobi l
easwe
l
eaveourmeet i
[Link] vousbut
thankst oHilda’sout goingnat [Link] eto
comeoutofhershel landbef orelongwewer eall
l
aughi ng.“Shewasn’ tevenscar yli
keIf eared”she
smi l
esandf ixesherski rtforthe31stt imesince
shewor ei
t.“Nowst oppul l
ingi [Link] e
goingt ori
pi t
”Isl [Link] h
l
aughandwal kt othepar ki
ngl [Link] edan
uberaf t
ernotbei ngabl et or eachMl ulekionhis
phoneandt hatguyhet oldmet ocallifIneed
transportwasn’ [Link] deawher ehe
i
sandI ’
llwaitforhi mt ocomeback.“ Doyoumi ndif
wegof orcoffee? ”sheasksbef orewer eachour
uberguy.“ Andapr operl unch;I ’m hungr y”Isuggest
.
Webot hgetint hecarandt heguyst artdrivi
ngoff.
Wel eaveHi l
da’sof ficesandheadt ot heci ty.I’m
busyl ooki ngt hroughmydocument swhi leSnqobi l
e
i
sbusychat t
ingt oDabul aonherphone.“ I’m
startingt ot hinkwear ebeingf oll
owed”sayst he
[Link] lcheckbehi ndusandt herei sacar
foll
owi ngus.“ Ther ei snol icencenumber s”says
Snqobi lehervoi ceshaki ng.“ Keepgoi [Link] l
l
stopatt hepol icest at i
onorgar age”It elltheguy
andheal solooksf rightened.“ Andi ftheyr unusof f
ther oad? ”asksSnqobi l
e“Why?Doyouhave
enemi es?Ladi esi fyouar ei nsomeki ndt roubl e
pleaset ellme.I ’
mj ustanuberguy”sayst heman
soundi ngl ikehemi ghtbur stintotear s.“ Wear enot
i
nsomet [Link] dbeaf t
eryourcar ”I
[Link] etheonesi nt roubl [Link]
coul dbehi scompet i
tionort hoset axidr iver shat i
ng
himf ort akingt hebusi nessawayf r
om t [Link]
phoner i
ngsandweal [Link] hinkwear enow
scar ed.I t’sMl [Link] ckst hismomentt ocal lme.
“Ml u”Ianswer .“Tel lthatf oolt [Link]
hewantt olosecont rolorsomet hi
ng? ”heyel ls.
“Youar ebehi ndus? ”It urnt olookagai nandt he
driveri swavi ngusdownbuthedoesn’ tlookl ike
Ml uleki.“
NobutIaskedyouni celynott ouseuberor
anyot herrequest edt ranspor tbutobvi ouslyyou
can’tbet ol
danyt hi
ngPhi l
[Link] ’
sLungel oandhei s
goingt odriveyoubackt ot [Link] lthatboy
tost opandgetout ”hei nstr uct .“
Wher eareyou? ”
howdi dheevenknowt hatIt ookanuber ?“I’llbe
backt omor roweveni [Link] nthecarandl et
Lungel [Link] lltal kaboutthiswhenI
return”heendst hecal l.“And? ”asksthedr ivernot
slowi ngt hecardown.“ Youcansl [Link]
keepgoi ngpl ease”ther ei snowayIam t aki ngsuch
i
nst ructionsf rom Ml [Link]’ tvanishand
sur f
acewhenyouwantt oor dermear [Link]
nott hatper son.“ Soit’sMl uleki ?”asksSnqobi lesti
ll
l
ooki ngbehi [Link] owsdownandt heguy
behindusi ndi catesthatweshoul dstop.“Hi spet .
Justi gnor [Link] lltakeust othemal lfor
l
[Link] lltakeal ocalt axif orhome”It el lthe
[Link] ebuthedoesn’ tsayanyt hing.
It
’stimet hatMl ulekilear nst hatIcan’ tbecont roll
ed.
Notbyphone.
*
***
* *
***
***
***
Ml
uleki
Ican’ tsayI ’
m [Link] liisahar dwomant o
tamebutt herei snor [Link] i
enceandI
havel oadsoft hatforawomanIwant .Ineverr eally
expect edhert obeasubmi ssivebutsheneedst o
knowsomel imi tstotest ingme.“ Doyouneeda
moment ?”askJuni or.“[Link] of i
nisht oday”
Ihavet ogobackanddealwi thPhi libef oreshe
goest oof ar.“Soyouar egoi ngt ol ethergetaway
withi t?”hel ooksbot her ed.“ Getawaywi t
hwhat ?”
“Thedi sr
espect .Shedi srespect edyou;boss”“ She
i
st est i
ngherl i
mi tsandi tisal lfunandgames
Juni [Link] odi e”someonej ustneedsa
fir
mr emi ndert hatwillcomedi sguisedaspl easur e
shei sl ookingf [Link] ki
ng.I
foll
ow, Inevert houghtI ’llbebackher esosoonand
forsomet hingl ikethisbutl ifehasot herideas.I t’
sa
sleepypl acet hatl ooksgr eati nsummerbutcanbe
abi tdr yinwi [Link] dhavel ovediti fit
wasn’ tsohar shonever yoneIknow.“ I
fitwasme, I
woul dhavebackhandedi ttoher ”hesaysqui etly.
“YouneverbackhandawomanJuni [Link] t
er
whatshedoesyouneverl ayyourhandt oherl ike
that .Itcagest hem andt rust sme, youdon’ twanta
cagedwomanJuni or”Asmuchasmostpeopl e
thinkawomanyouscar ei nt oacor nerisr espectful
buti t’
snott hatatal l
.Shet urnsi ntosomet hingt hat
youmi ghtfindgoodf orashor tt i
mei nal ongr un
shet urnsint oast ranger.“Butwomencanbe
annoyi [Link] i
mesyouj ustwantt ogetl aidand
shewi l
lwantal lthet ri
mmi ngs”hecompl ainsandI
l
[Link] owi ngt odo.“ Thenyou
giveheral lthet rimmi [Link] saboutt [Link]
givesandyougi veaswel l”Iadvi se.“ Untilshei sout
ther er unningt hest r
eets”“ Awel l
-keptwoman
doesn’ trunt hest [Link] hatoutof
bor edom”Thembekacomest [Link]
tobeoutt her ewi thherf akef r
iendswhi leNqubeko
wasbusychasi ngt hemoneyandNobuhl e.“Soyou
thinkwecandobet t
ertost opt hehoodbehavi our?”
heasksl ookingamused.“ One, youpi ckahood
chickandexpectasubur bbehavi ourt henyouar ein
forsomeeyeopeni [Link] emai nswhatshe
waswhenyoumetherandexpect i
ngabi gchange
thatdoesn’ tcomef rom insi deisj ustsel f
[Link]
pickahoodyoudealwi thherhoodnessorl ethergo
orifshewant st ochanget heni t
’sal lgood”I
wouldn’twantPhi litoloseher [Link]
asIwantherr oll
ingwi ththebi gshot sofbusi ness
worldbutbehi ndcl oseddoorIwantherbar efooted
andsmi li
nglikeshei senjoyi ngani nsidej oke.I
wanthert oremai nmyPhi l
i.“Ihearyou;boss”he
doesn’tsoundconvi [Link] herei sanyt hingt hat
I’
velearntonNqubeko’ spr obl emsi st hatneverever
neglectsomeonewhogi vesyoucomf ort
.If
Nqubekol ovedThembekar ightf rom st artwe
wouldn’tbetryingt opiecet oget herwhatshedi dn’t
evenknowwasbr [Link] dn’ tbedi scover i
ng
allt
heset hi
ngsnowandhewoul dn’tbedr owni ngin
guil
tybecauseheneversawi tcomi ng.* **** * **
********
Gett
inginsi
[Link] helazy
bastar
disgreedy,heisbusyenjoyi
ngast eakwe
[Link] he
houseisveryquiet
.Imakemywayar oundt he
[Link]
opensquietl
[Link]’
tinarushIwoul dwaitunti
l
hissenseski cki nbutwehavet ogosoIhavet o
wakehi m [Link] irstandI
quickl ycovermout hbeforeshewakest hekids.I
don’ twantt oscar ethem too.“What …..”hedoesn’ t
fi
ni shwhenheseesagunonmyhands.“ One
wr ongmoveI ’l
lblowyourbr [Link] ustmeIdon’ t
giveadamnbutIdoubtyouwantt odi et oday”I
war nbef orer emovi ngmyhandonhermout [Link]
remai nsqui etandt hemanr ecogni sesme.I ’
m cool
witht hatbecausewher eist hef unwhenpeopl e
thinksomest rangergoti n.“Yousi tt hereandbe
quiet .Idot het [Link]
aquest i
on”i [Link] ckl y.“Lookout side
thewi ndow”Ior derandmoveasi desohecanwal k
past .HedoessoandIhopeJuni ori sdone.“ Josiah
[Link] dand
youaskedhi mt [Link] I
wr ong? ”Iaskandhedoesn’ [Link] vehima
momentt ogat herhi sthoughts.I ’
m af airperson.
“Thembeka”t hat’[Link] erightont rack
withmemor yj ogging.“[Link] pl essThembeka
thatJosi ahr apedandyouaskedf orcowsi nstead
ofcal lingthepol [Link] Iki ddi ng?You
nevercar edaboutheranyway”Imovef r om thelady
andstandbehi [Link] opophisheadashe
standsbutt herewi l
lbenopai nint her
[Link]
[Link] lsdropont hegr [Link] eisno
soundj ustbothoft hem fall
ing.“ No…..
”hedoesn’ t
conti
nueast womor ecowsal sodr opont hegr ound.
“Wegavet hem [Link] lll
ose
fourcowsunt i
l t
hereisnonel eft
.Youdi dn’thave
them bef or
eyousol dThembekat oJosiahsowe
areputtingthingsbacki ntoor der”
Hei sshaki [Link] hopensandcl osebutno
wor dscomeout .I’
vemademanypeopl e
speechl essbefore.“Thenwecomet ot heabuse.
Youandyourbr otherabusedThembekaasachi l
d
andt otopt hat,youconvincedhert hatshehadno
otheropt i
[Link] heabusewaspar tofbei ngan
[Link] edoingheraf avour .Weare
goingt oputt hi
ngsi [Link]
houghtaboutt his
l
ongandhar [Link]’ tneedabul let
, nopeyou
needt ost ayinfearandwat chyourlif
ewast eaway
butbeunabl etof i
xit.I
’m [Link]
won’ tknowwhenandhowbutt hepolicewillcome
knocki ngatyourdoorandt akeyout ojailfora
crimeyoudi dn’ tcommi tbutyouwon’ tbeabl eto
provet hatyouar ei nnocent .Onceyouar einsi de
someonewi llmakeyouhi sbi tchandmakeyourl i
fe
mi [Link] i
eachi ldonabedpostandl eave
hert ostandt hereaspuni shment ?Let’sseeyou
taket hepuni shment ”Ist opt alkingwhenmyvoi ce
startsgivingawaymyanger .“I’
m sor r
[Link]…. .”he
startssobbi ng.“Whenyouar einsi deI’
llt
aket hekids.
Youdon’ tdeser vet hem af teral l”
“Pleasenotmy
kids”begst hewi fehervoi cet rembl ing.“Because
youdi dn’tknowwhatt heywer edoi ng?”Idon’ teven
turntof aceher .Shedoesn’ treplyandIi gnor eher.
“Iknowyouwi l
ltellyourbr otherandhemi ghtt r
yto
runbuthecan’ tout [Link] oyouf i
r standI
trustyouwi l
lpasst hemessageal [Link] h
won’ tseei tcomi ng”t womor ecowsdr [Link]
gaspsbutsaysnot hi ng.“It’
ssadt hatthesecows
neveraskedt obei nvol vedi nt hisbutyougott hem
i
nvol ved”Ist epbackwhenhi sarm [Link] sf i
st
l
andsont hegunt hatIusedt oblockhi shi [Link]
punchesl i
keabi tchbuti tsgoodf orhim becausea
manwi t
habr okenar m can’ tpr otecthimsel f.“What?
YouthoughtI’m aweakchildtoo?No, I
’
m your
matchandwear ejustst
arti
ng”Iwalktothedoor
[Link]’tfol
lowandJuniorhas
[Link] dhavebelievedmewhenI
tol
dhimt hatthesemenar ecowardsbynature.
** ************** **IleaveJuni ori ntheBnBi n
uLundianddr i
vebackt oDur banbef oret heni ght
endsandanewdayst art
s.“Youdi dit
”asks
Nqubekoanswer inghi sphone.“ Di dyoueven
sl
eep? ”Iteasehim.“ [Link] emar athon
[Link] ustf ellasleepaf teral ongday
playinginthepool .“Soshei sf i
ne? ”withThembeka
youj ustneverknow.“ Shei sf i
nej ustletti
ngoutt he
childinher”Icant ellhei sgr i
[Link] dtease
him butIdot hesamewheni tcomest oPhi li.“Spoi
l
[Link] vesi [Link] lmyown
womanandgetsomesl eepNqubeko”Iendt hecall
beforehest art
saski ngmequest [Link] l
i’
sphone
ri
ngsoncebef oresheanswer [Link] dbe
sl
eepi ng.“Whyar eyouup? ”“Celiwehadat ummy
achebutshei ssleepi [Link] eyoudr iving? ”she
i
sal waysal er
t.“[Link] ngt oDur ban”Iwai tfor
aquest i
onbuti tdoesn’ tcome.“ Whatwaswr ong
withhert ummy? ”Icont inue.“ Toomuchsnacks”
shelaughs.“ I
’
m sor ryyouhadt owakeupanddeal
withallthat”“I
’m amot hersoi tcomeswi that i
tt
le”
“[Link] hisguyt aket hismot herfor
breakfast?”it’
sonl yf ewhour sawayanyway.“ I
heardyour ockedyourpr esent ationandt hat
deservessomecel ebr ation”Shel aughsandi t
makesmehar d.“Ithoughtyouwi llbeangr ythatI
wentagai nstyouruberpr ot est”“AhbabyIam angr y
butIwon’ tletthatover shadowyourbr il
li
antwor k.
Wewi l
ldealwi ththeuberi ssuel ateronandImi ght
rethi
nkt hewhol ethingi fyouconvi nceme
otherwise”“ Convincehow? ”sheasksandIl augh.“I
don’tknowPhi li
.I’m openf orsur pr i
ses”Idr opmy
voicesosheget sahi [Link] eisal aughandIhave
toslowdownt hiscari fIwantt omakei tbackt oher.
“Il
oveyouPhi l
[Link] heki [Link] emy
home”af t
eryear sofl ooki ngf inallyIthinkthisis
wher eIbelong.
Chapt
er94
Thembeka

Adoorcl osingwakesmef rom dosingof f.I

t's
Nqubekowi t
ht [Link]
kethepastt wodays;
todayit
'sr ai
ninghardandi t
'[Link] ckl
y
grabther emot eandpretendIwasf li
ckingt hrough
thechannel sbutintrut
hIwasf alli
ngasl eepont he
couch.
"I
'
m backwi thyourbeans"heannouncesbef ore
headi
ngt hekit
[Link] ol
lowhi m.I'
ve
beencravingsugarbeanssincelastnightandI
coul
dn'teatanythi
ngelsesothismor ningNqubeko
hadtogogetsomei nrest
aurantdownt her
oad.
"
Itsmell
sgood"Iopent
hetakeawayanddi
pmy
f
ingeri
nbefor
ekicki
ngit
.
"
Her
eisaplatebef
oreyoubur
nyoursel
f"heopens
t
hecupboar
dandhandmeapl at
e.
"I
t'snottoohotbutI'
l
ldishupbefor
eyougrowmore
greyhairworryi
ngaboutme"Iteasehi
m whil
e
dishi
ngt hebeanstotheplat
eandheaddssteamed
breadoni t
.
"
I'
m al
lowedt
owor r
y..
..
."Hest
opst
alki
ngbecause
myphoneisr
ingi
ng.
"I
t'
sint
hechar
ger
.I'
l
lgogeti
t"Iputdownt
he
spoonandhur
ryt
othel
ounge.
It
'smyauntandIwonderwhybecauset heydon'
t
callmeatall
.EversinceIf
oundmyrealfami
lyand
l
eftthem t
heydon'tevenaskmeformoney.
"
Hel
lo"Il
eanont
hecouch.
"
Thembeka"shesoundsl
ikeshei
scr
ying.
"[Link]
'swrong?
"Icanhearotherpeople
speaki
[Link]
hinkt
her
eisabi tofsingi
ng
aswell.
"I
t'
[Link]"shecri
es
harderandIhearothercr
yingvoi
cesjoini
ngin.
"Whatdoyoumeandead?"Wer
etheybot
hsi
ck?
Wasitacaracci
dent
?Myheadistr
yingt
opr
ocess
ever
ythi
ngbutI'
mfai
li
ng.
"Theyhadanargumentl
astni
[Link]
bedroom whenIhear
[Link]
houghtthey
werekil
li
ngacowbecausethecowshavebeen
droppingli
kefl
[Link]
y6leftandthey
wer eargui
[Link]
eftt
[Link]'
thave
l
eft"shelet'
soutasobandIf eelmyowneyes
fi
ll
ingup.
"Sotheykil
ledeachot
herovercows?
"Itdoesn'
t
soundlikesomethi
ngtheywoulddo.
"I
twasmor ethant hatandthatwi t
chknowsbutshe
won' tsaywhatt heywerefightingabout .Theother
daywewokeupt [Link] t
quietlybutshetookherkidsandsentt hem t
oher
fami l
ysayingitwasn'[Link] inuedto
argueunt i
[Link] m wi t
habul l
eti
n
hisheadandt hatbastar
dshothi msel finthemouth
[Link] deadjustlikethat"shecr i
edand
Iwi pedmyowneyes.
"I
'
llbet her
etomorr
oweveni
ngAunt
"ifIbookeda
fl
ighttodayIwasgoingt
obeinDur
bantodayand
drivehomet omor
rowmorni
ng.
"[Link]
lseeyouthen"sheblewhernose
beforet
her
ewasal oudvoiceinsul
ti
ngsomeone.
"
Getheroutofher
e"Ihear
dsomeoneyel
lsandt
hen
i
tsoundedl
iket
her
ewasaf
ightbef
oret
hel
inewent
dead.
"What'
swrong?
"AsksNqubekopul
li
ngmecl
osert
o
hischest
.
"Myunclesar
[Link]
hem"evensayi
ngi
t
doesn'
tsoundrealatal
l.
"
Dead?Whathappened?
"Hewr
apshi
sar
msar
ound
me.
"Theot herki
ll
edotherandthenturnedt
hegunon
[Link]
ngt [Link]
don'tgetitNqubeko"Ibur
ymyheadt ohischest
andcr y.
Hedoesn'
tsayanyt
hingbutholdsmet
ightasIcr
y
f
ortheuncl
esIgrewuptreat
ingasmyonlyfamil
y.

*
****
*

Thecryi
ngfi
nall
ystopsandIhavenoappeti
tefor
[Link]
hebedroom andst
art
packi
ngmyclothes.
"
Whatar
eyoudoi
ng?
"AsksNqubekowal
kingi
n.
"
[Link]
dyoubookusaf
li
ghthome?
"I
t
hrowtheclot
hesint
osui
tcases.
"Weareonl
yleavi
ngt omorr
owbutIdon'
tthi
nkyou
shoul
dbegoingthere"hi
shandpoint
smystomach
"Youar
epregnantandthosepeopl
earet
hereason
whyyouhadabr eakdown"
Judgi
ngbyhi st
oneIcantel
lhei
snotgoi
ngtol
et
[Link]
smanandIcantel
lwhenheis
goi
ngtosaynot osomethi
ng.
"
Theyar
emyuncl
es"
"Doesn'
tmatt
[Link]
dn'
teventr
eatyouri
ght
Thembeka"hesitsdownonthebedandlooksatme.
"
ButIhavet
oburythem"Igi
vehi
m al
ookt
hatsays
'
Aret
oyheari
ngyoursel
f'
"Why?Pregnantwomendon'
tneedthatki
ndof
str
[Link]
amil
yisful
lofmessypeopl
e.
Idon'
tthi
nkyoushouldgo"
"I
t'
sagoodt hi
ngi'
m notaski
ngforper
missi
onor
opini
on"It
hrowthelastdr
essinandzipt
hebag.
Heraiseshi
[Link]
ini
sh
packi
ngeverythi
ngandtakeaquickshowersoI
cantakearealnapsi
nceitseemsNqubekoandI
arehavingafi
ght.

*
****
*

Sleepdoesn'
tcomenowt hatIneedi
[Link]
ning
andt ossi
ngunt
ilIhearhi
m comingi
nandt henI
pretendtobesl
eeping.
"Imadeyousomef ood"hesaysbef
orehewalks
closer
.Iwanttosi
tupandtakethefoodbutmy
pridewon'
tletmesoilayst
il
l.
"[Link]'
tst
arvet
hebaby"he
putsthet
raydownandstandsnextt
ome.
Isl
owl
yremovet
heblanketandl
ookathi
[Link]
l
ooksatmeandsmi
les.
"
Iaddedsomemeatonyourf
[Link]
easeeat
"
Isitupandt
aketheplat
[Link]
lmakesmy
stomachcomplai
[Link] hungr
ysoIeat
.
Nqubekosi
tsdownandwat
chmeeatwhi
le
occasi
onal
lyr
emovi
ngthemessonmymouth.
"I
fitwasupt omeyouwouldn'
tcar
eaboutthose
[Link]
dn'
tcar
eaboutyou"hesaysquiet
ly.
"
Nqubeko.
..
..
"
"
You'
vealwaysbeenamoneymaki ngschemeto
t
[Link]
ledtoprot
ectyouThembekaand
whent
hetimecamet heysol
dyoutome"
Hiswordsdidhurtbecauset
[Link]
soldt
ohim [Link] dn'
t
evenconsi
derthathewaswayolderthanme.
"Thanksfort
hef
ood"ir
emovedt
hetrayonmylap
andwi pedmymouthwi
thawetwipethathe
i
ncludedonthet
ray.
Hedi
dn'
tsayanythi
nginsteadhegotupandt
ook
t
hetr
aybacktothekit
[Link]
ddownandpul
led
t
hebl
anketovermyhead.
Hereturnedshor
tl
yafterandihear
dhimt akeof
f
hi
sshoesandt henhisbeltcameoff
.Iguesshe
wasjoiningmeinbed.
"
Soyouhadthem ki
lleachot
her
?"iaskedst
il
lunder
t
hebl
anket
.
Hedi dn'
tpauseanythi
ngandaf t
erasecondort wo
hewasundert hebl
anketpul
li
ngmecl osertohim.I
turnedtogivehim mybackbutthatdi
dn'tseem to
botherhim atall
.Hestuckhi
slegsbehindmi neand
hisarm aroundmyt ummy.
"
Sleepabit
.Wewil
ltal
kwhenyouar
ecal
mer
"he
whisper
edbehi
ndmyear.
"Idon'
twanttosl
[Link] kil
li
ng
eachother
?Thedyingcows?Wast hatyou?"My
voicewasbreaki
[Link]
tcryi
ng.
Hepull
edmylegoverhisl
egandhi
sfi
ngert
raced
t
heelast
icofmypanti
es.
"
Nqubeko.
..
."It
ri
edtospeakbuthestoppedmeby
movi
nghishandevenfurt
heri
nsidemyundies.
"Wekil
ledthecowsandtheykil
[Link]
coul
dn'tf
aceknowingthatweknewsot heytookan
easywayout "hi
sfi
ngerfoundwhereitwasaiming
andItookadeepbreath.
"
Knewwhat
?"
Herubbedmeabi tandkissedmyneckwhi l
eati
t.
I
'm al
wayssensi
ti
velatel
ysoi tdi
dn'
tsur
pri
seme
whenmybodybegant orespondt ot
hetouch.
"
KnewwhatNqubeko?
"iaskedagai
nwhenhedi
dn'
t
r
epl
y.
"
Theyknewwhodi
dit
.Inst
eadofcall
ingthepoli
ce
t
heyaskedhi
mtogi
vethem cows"herepl
ied.
Myheadprocessedal
lthi
[Link]
someoner
apedmet hatdayandtheyaskedhi
mto
pay.
"
ItwasJosi
ah"hewhi
sper
ed.
Inoddedbef oreturni
ngar oundt ofacehi [Link]
eyeswer efil
ledwithtearsandhi sli
pst rembleda
bitsoiopenedmyl egswi derandki [Link]
ki
ssedmebackhar dandwi t
hinsecondshewas
i
nsi [Link] dhi
mt ightsashest artedgentle
unt i
lhewasf astandhi sgri
ponmyt highwast oo
har [Link] i
nal
lycameidi dn'tevenacknowl edge
i
tt [Link] mtocomesoisqueezedmy
i
nt ernalmusclesashar dasi couldunt i
lhewas
moani
ngl
oudandhi
[Link]
nal
ly
cameiwr
appedmyarmsandlegsaroundhi
m.
"
Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odot
oJosi
ah?
"Iasked
"I
'
m goingtoki
llhi
m mysel
f"her
epl
iedbef
ore
buryi
nghisheadonmyneck.
Chapt
er95

Ml
uleki

I'
m [Link]'
snotsomet hi
ngIdobut
whenPhi l
igothelpupi nhermeet i
ngIof f
eredt o
comegett [Link]'tevenknowwhyar etheyst i
ll
goingtoschoolbecausemostschool saredone
withexamsandki dsar estayi
ngathome.I t'
sj ust
thi
sschoolwi tht
heir"bett
erthant herest"attit
ude.
ButitcostrealmoneysoIt hinktheyar etryingto
coverthei
rmoneywor thservi
[Link] ngI'mf eeli
ng
nervousisanunder st
atement .I
'm acr i
minaland
I'
vedonet heunthi
nkablebutt odayi'm smoki ng
nonstopbecauseI'm afrai
doft hreelit
tl
epeopl e.
Thebel lgoesoffandi nami nuteIseef acesinall
[Link] erunningtot hei
rwai ti
ngpar ents
whilesomear erunni ngtoeachot [Link] he
eveninghugsar ebei ngdeli
veredbef or
eever yone
[Link] hecrowdandspotCel i
weand
herfri
[Link] hem wearsglassesandshe
keepsshaki ngherheadandadj usti
ngt heglasses
astheysl i
ponherf [Link] ngat
somet hingandoneboywal kspastt [Link] l
standandl ookathim withador i
[Link] e
goingtohaveapr oblem.
"Iscananothercrowdf ortheboysandspott hem
[Link] slimpingwhilebei
ng
supportedbytheot [Link] ecarr
yingthei
r
[Link] hecigaret
teandmar ch
[Link] etmepassasI
approachtheli
mpi ngguy.
"
Whathappened?
"Iaskandt
heybot
[Link]'
t
t
hinkt
heysawmeatall.
"Iwasplayi
ngrugby"her
epl
i
esqui
ckl
yandhi
s
voicesoundsscar
ed.
"Rugby?Sincet
hendoyoupl ayrugby?"Itaket
he
bagsfrom thet
wof r
ightenedboysandt heyboth
runofthesamet i
me.I'm noteventhatscary.
"Coachsai
difIdon'tpl
ayIwon'[Link]'
t
wantpeopl
elaughingatme"hel ooksdownandI
cantel
lheisgoingtostar
tcr
ying.
"
Showmet
hatcoach"Ipi
ckhi
m up.
Cel
iwehasseent
hissoshecomesr
unni
ng.
"
Uncl
eMl
uleki
.What
'swr
ong?
"sheasks.
"Showmeyourrugbycoach"Idemandaswewal
k
backtowar
dst
heclassrooms.
"I
nthestaff
room"saysCeli
werunni
ngbesi
deme.I
seethesecuri
tyappr
oach.I
ttookhi
mlongenough.
"
Sir
..
..
."
"
Notnow"Itel
lhim bef
oreheevenget
sclose"
Show
methest
affroom"IaskCeli
[Link]
sthe
r
oom i
nthecorner.
"Youarenotal
lowed.
..
."Cont
inuest
hesecur
it
y
clear
lyt
esti
nghisaut
horit
y.
"Notnow"Ir epeatandheadstrai
ghttot
he
staf
[Link] ll
ookupwhent hedooropens.
Sevent eachersandfourmist
resses.
"Whocoachesrugby?
"Idemandwhi
lepl
aci
ngt
he
ki
donthetable.
"Ido"t
hemanf r
om thecornerrepli
esbef
orehe
[Link]
[Link] ypeyoudon'
tfi
ght
butkil
ltomaketheprocessfaster
.
"Di
dyouforcemysontopl
ayrugbybecausei
fhe
doesn'
tpl
ayhewon'tbeamanenough?"Thel
adi
es
l
ookshocked.
Thedooropensandt hr
eesecur
it
yguyswal kin.
Oneteacherhasenoughsensetotel
lthem t
ostand
back.
"[Link]'tmeanf ortheli
ttl
eguytogethur
[Link]
havetoadmi [Link] hebodyf ort
hei
t"hesmil
es
andappr oacht [Link]
dhaveaskedthe
kidstowai toutsi
de.
"Howdareyoutellmyki
dt hathewon'tbeaman
enough?Whatgivesyouthatauthor
it
y?"
"Ithoughtt
heyarerai
sedbyasi
ngl
emother
..
..
."
SomeonesaysandIt urnmyheadt
oseewhobut
theystoptal
king.
"Sothatgi veshi
m ari
ghttot
ellt
hem theyneedto
getallbruiseduptoberegar
dedmanly? "Il
ookat
ever
yonei nther
oom toshowthem I
'
m nott het
ype
tobet ested.
"Iapol
ogizefortheerr
[Link]
houghtIwas
encouraginghim"saysthecoach
"
Byi
njur
ing?
"
"
It
'snotthatser
[Link]
r
est"saysthesecondteachert
ryi
ngtotakecar
eof
t
hesituati
on.
"Whydon'
tIpul
lyourmuscl
esandcallt
hekidsto
poundonyouandthenyoutel
lmeit
'snotthat
deep?
"Igi
vehim ahar
dstar
[Link]
ylooks
away.
"Icantakehimtothedoctori
fthatwi
llpl
easeyou
Sir"Icanseeanot
herladyrol
li
nghereyes.
"
Doyouhaveki
ds?
"Iaskherandsheshakesher
head.
"Thenyouarenotawomanenoughsoyour ollyour
eyesatmeagai nI'
llt
akethem out
"Iki
ckmyself
i
mmedi at
elyforthatonebecausether
ear
ekids
here.
"Youcan'
tthr
eat
enherl
iket
hat
"jumpsi
nthe
secur
it
y.
"Orwhat?Thesear [Link] hem here
foreducati
onandnotf orthem t
obet ol
di nj
uries
[Link] aychessandhe
willst
il
[Link] dbegayandhe
willst
il
[Link] hisnonsenseagai nI'
ll
comeher eandwewi l
lseewhatdefinesar ealman.
Nowapol ogize"Idemand.
Helooksl
ikehewant
stoar
guebutIseeanot
her
t
eachergi
vinghi
m ahar
dst
are.
"I
'
m [Link]
dn'thavef
orcedyoutoplay.
Whateversportyouplaywon'tdef
[Link]
growupandbeamaneveni fyoudon'tl
ikesport
"
heholdsouthisfistandInodtotheboytofist
bumphi m.
"Ar
eweokaynow?"Heasksandt
heboynods.
Therei
sevenasmi
leonhisf
ace.
"
[Link]
leweareher
e.I
sther
eanysportyou
woul
dli
ket
oplay?
"Iaskandheshakeshi
shead.
"
That
'
sset
tl
ed"Ipi
ckhi
m up.
"
Butphysi
caleducati
onisimport
ant
"thel
adychi
ps
i
nhertonesoundingshocked.
"Physi
caleducat
ionandfor
cingkidstopl ayasport
theydon'
tli
keisnotthesame.I'
m notat eacherbut
[Link]
esandgent [Link]'snot
havethi
sagain"Itaket
hekidsandleave.

*
***
***
***
***
**

I
'
m surpri
sedtoseeotherparent
sst
il
lout
sidewi
th
t
heirki
[Link]
houghtonlybl
ackpeopl
eweregossi
p
l
oversbutcl
earl
yIwaswr ong.
"Cel
iwe"someboyyell
sandwavesather
.She
checkifi
'mlooki
ngbefor
ewavi
ngback.
"Whoist
hat
?"IaskasIopent
hedoorf
ort
hem t
o
geti
n.
"
Hisnamei
sLuke"shesaysshyl
y.
"Sameclasswi
thyou?
"Iputt
hebackpacks
betweenthem.
"
No"shesaysqui
etl
y.
"
Isee"Ibucklethem upandbuckl
etheotherki
din
t
hefrontbeforewalki
[Link]
hertal
l
whi
temanappr oachthecar
.Iwai
tforhi
m.
"
I'
m Ger
aldFr
eder
ick"heext
endsahand.
"
I'
m Ml
ulekiMbat
ha"Ishakehi
shand.
"
[Link] cetof
[Link]
t
akenbyyourdaught erandasaf at
herIt
rytotake
i
nterestonhi
si nter
estbecauseifIdon'
tsomeone
wil
landI '
l
lbeleftwonderingwhereIwentwrong"
Iwantt
olaughatt
hisbutIdoubtMrFr
eder
ickwi
ll
appr
eci
ateit
.
"
Whatdoyoumean?
"
"
[Link]'
vebeenboysbef
[Link]
t
[Link]
houghtwemi
ghtas
wellgi
vethem aplat
formtoexpl
ore"
Inevert
houghtI
'
llevercomeacr
osssomeonel
ike
thi
smani nmyli
fe.
"
Howol
dwer
eyouwhenyouf
ir
sthadsex?
"
Hei
mmedi
atel
ytur
nbr
ightpi
nk.
"
Idon'
tseehowt
hat
..
..
."
"Youwantt
hem t
oexplor
[Link]
dto
l
earnusi
ngmykid.I
fyoursonwantstostar
thavi
ng
sexyouthi
nkhecanusemykidtopract
ice"
"
OhnoIdi
dn'
tmeant
hat
"hel
aughsner
vousl
y.
"GoodbecauseifIf
oundoutthatyoursonistr
ying
toteachmydaughtersexI
'l
lcomet oyourhouse
andchophisdickoff
"Iputafri
endlyhandonhis
shoulder
.
"It
houghtwecouldjustl
etthem gooutonadate.
Justakidsdateandwecanbot hgowithtomake
surenot
hinginappr
opri
[Link]
dn'
tlet
mysondot hattoher"
"
Good.I
'
llt
alkt
omywi
femywi
feandCel
[Link]
e
won'tbethatbadbutonesi
nglet
houghtaboutmy
daughtert
hatwayhewon'thaveanytoolt
ake
expl
ore"
ThemannodsandIsmi
leathi
m bef
oreopeni
ngt
he
door
.
"
Goodt
alkMrFr
eder
ick"
"Yes,
yesMrMbatha"hewal
ksawayandIl
augh
befor
estar
ti
ngt
hecar.
"Howaboutwest
arti
nthephar
macyandthenget
someburger
sbef
orewegohome"Isuggest
.
Iexpectner
vousvoicesbutIgetacheer
fulyes.
Kidsareweir
dbuttheydogr owonyouifyougive
them achance.

*
****
***

Phi
li
.

Icheckt
hecl
ockagai
nandi
t'
sal
mostf
ourpm.
Mlul
ekisai
dtheyar
ecomi
nghomeoveranhour
ago.
"
Maybet
hey.
..
."Ist
artspeaki
ngbutS'
nqobi
lest
ops
me.
"
Hewouldhavecal
l
[Link]
obablywentt
ot he
mal
l"shet
akest
hephonewhenIreachfori
t.
I'
m st
art
ingtothi
nkIshouldn'
thaveaskedhi
mto
pickt
hem [Link]
dhavecancell
edmymeet i
ng
andwenttogetthem myself
.
"I
ftheyhaveanymorejunkfoodtheywil
lgetsi
ck"
I'
vebeenthinki
ngaboutcasteroi
lsi
ncethese
peopleeatanyt
hingt
heyget.
"Lett
[Link] dn'
thavepeopl ewho
[Link]
ekidothat"sheisso
[Link] sjumpymostoft heti
meI
mustsaysheseemst otr
ustMluleki
.
"Ihopehedidn'
ttr
ytoforcethem t
oli
kehi
[Link] s
notpati
[Link] not
beforced"
"
Theki
dsl
ikeMl
uleki
.Theyl
oveNqubekomor
ebut
theyli
kehimt [Link]
osedof fwhichis
understandabl
esincehedoesn'thaveanyki dsbut
givehimt i
meandyouwi l
[Link]
y.
Nqubekomakest hem f
eelsafethat'
swhyt hey
[Link] heysensesafetyonhi mtheywil
l
openup"sheadvi ses.
Inodandcheckt
hegat
eagai
n.
"I
'
m [Link]?
"Shedr
ags
hersl
ipper
stot
hekitchen.
"
[Link]
u.I
fIeatanyt
hingI
won'
teatlat
er"Ifol
lowhert
othekit
chen.
"[Link]'
tyou?
"Shet
akesoutt
he
bread.
"YeahImisshertoo"asmuchasshecal
ledof
ten
butImissedherbeingi
nthehouse.
"WhenIwasinjailIwasscar edthati'
l
lbealone
whenIcameout .ItwasMl ul
ekiwhot oldmethat
Thembekawil
lwel comemewi t
hopenar msinher
[Link]
arI'
vef eltl
ikeIbelong"shesmil
esandI
smil
ebacktoo.
"
SoMl
ulekicont
act
edyouof
ten?
"
"Notonl
ythat
.Healsopai
dformysecur
it
[Link]
peoplel
ooki
ngaf
termeinallcor
ner
s"
IneedtothankMlul
ekif
orthi
[Link]
se
wouldhavesaidi
twasn'thi
sprobl
em.
"Iwassurpr
isedtofindthatNqubekoisquit
e
popularonthei
[Link] ual
lysaidI
resembledt
hatti
nywomanMbonambimar r
ied.I
wasshockedsincewewer einafemalesecti
onbut
[Link]
[Link] dshelookedli
keat i
cki
ng
ti
mebomb"shel aughs.
"Whatdoesthatmean?"Iaskwhil
echeckingthe
cur
tai
nifIcanspotMluleki
'scart
wostreetsaway.
"Becauseweareti
nyandmostt
inywomenar
esaid
toberesponsi
blef
ormuchdamageoncet
heybur
st.
Thedynamitesayi
ng"
"OhIseebutwear
enotthatt
[Link] esmal
l
befor
enowwearealmostaverage"Iar
gue.
"
[Link]
enotaver
age.I
tdoesn'
thel
pthatyou
guypi
ckedguyswhotoweroveryou"Sheducks
whenItr
ytohitherwi
thasl
iceoflet
tuce.
"
Andyouar
evi
olentaswel
l"shet
easesandl
aughs.
"Youal
soneedtogooutther
[Link]
knows,youmi
ghtfi
ndyourowntower
"Iteaseher.
"Don'
tletmesi
tt
ingi
nthi
[Link]
someoneandtheyar
enottower
ingoverme"
Ist
opmovi
ngandl
ookather
.
"
Youar
edat
ing?
"thi
sisnewst
ome.
"YesandI'
lli
ntr
[Link]
e
here"shesaysasshetakesherf
oodandleavet
he
kit
chen.
Ifol
lowherandsheistel
li
ngthetr
[Link]
ekii
s
dri
vingi
[Link]
getsout
.IseeCel
iweholdingalar
geteddybearin
herarms.
Hewalksaroundandlet'
sthem outbef
orethey
carr
ythei
rbackpacksandothershoppi
[Link]
openthepassengersi
deandcar r
youttheboy.I
canseeabandaidonhisthigh.
"
Whathappened"Iwal
kthet
hem.
"Hepl
[Link]
ledamuscl
ebutItookhi
m
toapharmacybefor
ewewentforl
[Link]
yourmeeti
ng?"Heki
ssesmycheek.
"Pul
ledamuscl
ehow?Hecan'
twal
k?I
shi
sleg
swollen?
"
"[Link].I
'mfi
[Link]
eki
gavemear ub
andi'
llsl
eepitof
f"hesayssocalml
[Link]
ethe
tear
s?Everyinj
uryisaccompani
edbytear
sint
his
house.
"[Link]
eepitoff"saysMluleki
carr
yinghi
mt [Link]
lowt hem f
eeli
ngli
ke
i
'm beingl
eftout
.
Ther
eischaosinsi
deasCel
i
webr
agsabouther
fl
owersandateddybear
.
"CanIputt
hem i
navase?"SheasksandInod
befor
eshewalksof
[Link]
hekiddownandIsi
t
nextt
ohim.
"Soi
tdoesn'
thur
tthatbad?
"Iaskwhi
let
ouchi
ng
hisl
eg.
"
Noitdoesn'
tbutIwon'
tpl
ayr
ugbyandi
'
llst
il
lbea
man"hesaysproudl
y.
"
Aman?
"Iaskl
ooki
ngatMl
uleki
.
"
Somethi
ngst
upidthecoachsaidbutIst
rai
ght
ened
i
tout
"saysMl
ulekisi
tt
ingonthearmrest
.
"If
eell
ikeIneedt
obeupdat
edonever
ythi
ng"Il
ook
athim.
"[Link]
ltal
kaboutitl
ater
"hesmil
es
andIcatchmykidsmili
[Link]
ng
bigmusthavehappenedfort
hiski
ndofenergyto
shif
t.
Celi
wewalksbackfr
om t
heki t
chenwithherfl
ower
s
i
[Link]
ssuperwideasshewal kspast
l
ikeshecan'
tevenseeuslookingather
.
"Doyouwantanyt
hingt
oeat
?"Iaskbef
oreshe
disappear
s.
"[Link]
sandicecr
eam"sher
epl
ies
befor
eshecl
osesthedoor.
"Ishoul
dgetgoi
[Link]
[Link]
hem upatt
heair
port
"
saysMlulekigett
[Link]
owal
khi
m outand
confi
rm ourdinnertoni
ght.
"Ihavenoideawhathappenedbuttheylookhappy.
Thatteddybearmusthavecostyouaf ort
une"
Hest
opswal
kingandl
ooksatme.
"Youwereri
ght
.Thekidsarenothecti
[Link]
needtoknowthatyouhavethei
rbacks"heleans
overandki
ssmyl i
ps"Youmentioneddinner
toni
ght"
"
[Link]
nner
"
"
Ican'
twai
t"hebi
teshi
slowerl
ip.
"
Metoo"Iraisemyeyebr
[Link]'
tknow
what
'scominghisway.
"Ohbef oreIfor
[Link] ederi
[Link]
fathersuggestedwel etLukeandCel iwegoona
datet oexpl
[Link]
oldhi m wewillthi
nkaboutitand
thatifLukeeventhinksaboutCel i
wet hatwayi'l
l
makesur ehehasnot ooltoexplorewi t
hinthe
[Link] l
lbehear i
ngfrom the
Fredericksanyti
mesoon"hel aughsandshakeshi s
head.I
'
mlef
tspeechl
ess.
chapt
er95
Wef indMl ulekiwai t
ingf orusatt heai r
[Link]
hugsmebef orehet akest hebagst othecarand
Nqubekohol dsmyhandaswef ollowhi mt othecar .
Theybot hl ookl i
ket her eissomet hingt heyarenot
tel
li
[Link] det oi gnorei tandgeti nthecar .
“Sotherei sFr edrick,andhei spr oposi ngthatwel et
Celi
weandhi ssongoonadat ebecauset heson
l
ikesCel i
we, ”saysMl ulekigetti
ng.“ What ?”asks
Nqubeko, takingt hecapof f.“Itoldhi mt ogetlost”
saysMl ulekibef oret heybot hbur sti ntolaughter.
“ButIthinkt hat’
sagoodi dea”Ichi pi nandbot h
menl ookatmel ikeIj ustsuggest edwesel lCeli
we
toslavery.“Overmydeadbody, ”saysNqubeko.“ I
tol
dhi mI ’
llremovehi sdicki fhet ri
est ohavesex
withmydaught er,”saysMl uleki, andNqubekol ooks
proud.“ButwewantCel i
wet oexper iencedat i
ngi n
herlif
eandt herei snot imel i
ket hepr esent,’
Ipress
onandNqubekogi vesmet helookt hatsays‘ don’t
event r
y’butI ’
m st ubbor nsoheshoul dknowby
now.“ Soourdaught erwi l
lstartdat i
ngatt wo? ”he
asks, andMl [Link] vehi mt heevi ll
ook
andhel ooksaway.“ Don’ tber [Link] i
wei s
nott [Link] sat eenageranddat ingi sapar t
yof
growi ngup, ”“Nott osomehor nyt eenageboy, ”says
Ml uleki.“Thatboyshoul dfor [Link] nt his
l
ifetime, ”[Link] ewast ingt hei rt
ime
becausePhi l
i andIwi llorgani set hisdat ef orCel i
we.
Shei sat eenagegi rlanddat ingi spar tofl i
[Link]
wanthert oexper iencel i
feasanor malt eenager .
Wenevergott odat eanyonegr owi [Link]’ t
exper iencel ifel i
[Link] indPhi l
iandS’ nqobi l
e
chilli
ngont hecouch, andt heyl ookl i
ket heyar ein
themi ddleofdebat ingsomet hingser i
ous.“ Wow,
youl ookwel lrested”saysPhi l
i,givingmeahug.
S’nqobi leput sdownherphoneandhugsmet oo.
Nqubekogr eet sandt akesmybagst ot hebedr oom.
“Ishoul dl eaveyoul adi estor elax”saysMl ul eki,
l
ooki ngatPhi [Link] lesathi [Link] hinkI
havel oadsofgossi pt ocat chupt onight .“I’
lltext
youwhenI ’mr eady”shesaysandMl ulekinods
bef orehel eavest [Link] eturnsand
sit
snextt oS’ nqobi le.“Soyouguysar edoi ng
good? ”heasks, andS’ nqobi lenodsbef oreherhead
goesbackt [Link] hi ngi sont hat
phoneandhereyesl ightupeacht i
meshef ini
shes
typingsomet hing.“ Wear ejustgl adt ohaveher
back, ”saysPhi li,
looki [Link] ooksather ,and
smi l
eandIsmi let [Link] ngmyf ami lygetti
ng
alongwi thNqubekoi soneoft hegr eatestfeel
ingsI
couldn’ tchoosebet weent hem.“ Soi sitokayifI
bringAmandaf oravi sit?”heasksandIdon’ trepl y.
Idon’ tmi nd,butAmandabei ngi nmyhousewi l
l
meanshei svi sitingCel i
weandPhi lineedst obe
okaywi thit.“Thatwi lldoCel [Link] sbor ed,
andi t’sbeenawhi lesinceweyel ledatsomeonef or
l
aughi ngint hemi ddl eoft heni ght ,”saysS’ nqobi l
e.
”Yes, itwillbeni cet ohaveAmandaover ”agr ees
Phi l
i.”Andsl eepi ngar rangement s? ”asksNqubeko,
l
ooki ngatme.”Youdon' tneedt owor ryaboutme.I
havepl ansf orf ewdays”saysS’ nqobi [Link] llook
atherandwai tformor edetails, butshedoesn' t
l
ookl i
keshewant st ovol unteerwi t
hmor e.”Wel l?”
asksPhi li
,lookingather .”Yes, Iam goi ngPhili.
thanksf orwor ryingbutIhavet odot hisformysel f”
sheput sherst ubbor nf aceonandIwantt olaugh
abouti t
.”Soyouwon' teveni ntroduceust oher
beforeyougof ordays? ”ar guesPhi li
.”I'
m nota
chil
d,Phi l
[Link] odot hisf ormysel fandyoucan
argue,buti twon' [Link] goi ng”sheget supand
l
eavet her oom.”Okay, whatj usthappened? ”Iask
andNqubekol aughs.”Ol iviaisf i
[Link]
shewon' tdoanyt hingS' nqobi ledoesn' twant ”says
Nqubeko.”Youknewt hatS' nqobileisdat inga
woman, andyousai dnot hing? ”AsksPhi l
il ooki ngat
Nqubeko.”Youar enothomophobi c,areyou? ”he
askscal ml y.”Ofcour seI 'm not ,butwedon' teven
knowher ”shesoundsl i
keshemi ghtstartcr ying.”
Whenshei sready, shewi l
lbr ingherover .Now
calm downandt r
ynott obabyS' nqobi l
e”says
Nqubekoget t
[Link] eansoverandki ssesmy
cheekbef [Link]' tevenwal k
him out.”What 'sgoingon? ”Iaskt oPhi l
i.”
Nqubekoknewt hatS'nqobi l
ei sdatingapr ison
[Link] emal eprisonguar d”shel ooksshocked.”
S'nqobil
ei sal esbian? ”IaskandS' nqobi l
eappear s.
”Yes, [Link] lusbi sexualbecausewedat e
[Link] ghtnowIl i
keOl ivia”she
soundsl ikeshehasbeencr ying.”AndOl ivi a.I sshe
gorgeous?I tsoundsl i
keshei sexot i
[Link]
her?”Iask, lookingatS' [Link] hing,
buthandst hephonet [Link] aket hephoneand
l
ookatt heladyont hescr [Link] smixedr ace
judgingbyherl ongbl ackhai randcompl exion.I n
thisphot oshei shol dingacamer asmi li
ngt ot he
camer aandshei swear ingar myboot sandcar go
pants.”Damn, shel ooksal lfine”saysPhi lifi
r st.”i
know”saysS' nqobi let akesthephone.”Sowhen
arewemeet ingher ?”Iask, lookingather .”Wecan
haveasbr aaiorgooutbutabr aaiwi l
ldo”suggest s
Phili
.”Woah, l
etmedat ethegi rlandI'l
ldecide
whent oi nvolvef ami l
[Link] ghtscar eher
offwi t
hal lt
hebossi ness”shesi t
sdownnextt o
Phili
.Ithinkwe' ver esol vedtheawkwar dmoment
fornow.”SoMl ulekit ellsmeaboutacer taindat e
requestf orCel i
[Link] hinkweshoul [Link]
theyar eactingl i
kewear esendi ngheri ntoapor n
shoot ,
butahar mlessdat ewon' tdoanyt hing”I
suggestandt heybot [Link] ei
shappeni ng
whethert hemanl ikei tornot .
*
****
****
*
Phi
li
Icantellt
hatMlul
ekii
ssurpri
sedbecauseIam
taki
nghi mtoMcDonald'
sinst
eadofaf ancy
rest
aurantoraromanti
[Link]'t
saidanythi
ngbutheusfail
ingtohidet
hedisbel
ief
onhisface.
Ior
dert
wobur
gersandadri
nkbef
orewesi
tint
he
cor
nert
owai
tforouror
der
.
"Thisi
snice"hespeaksaf
terlooki
ngaroundt
he
placeandlooki
ngatthechai
rheissit
ti
ngon.
"
[Link]'
twantt
oboreyouwit
hcooki
[Link]
s
wil
ldo"Itr
ymybestnottobur
sti
ntogi
ggles.
"Wecoul dhaveusedthedri
vethr
[Link]
simple"herai
seshiseyebr
owsbeforehiseyes
focusonayoungcoupl ewalki
ngpastourtabl
e.
"
Iknowbutwegettoseepeopl
ewalki
ngpast
"I
t
easewhi
letr
yingt
osoundverychi
ll
ed.
"Andpeopl
ewil
ldowhat
?"Heeyest
hecoupl
eagai
n
andthenfr
ownsabit
.
"
What
?"Il
ookatt
hecoupl
eagai
[Link]
ookso
young,
probabl
yLi
ndo'
sage.
"Nothi
ng.I
'
mjustthi
nki
ngt hatoneofthesedaysit
wil
lbeCeli
[Link]
doinghomeworkorsomething"Helooksreall
y
bother
ed.
"
Theyar
ejusthavi
ngf
un"
"It
'snotr
ight
.Ki
dscan'tevenfini
shbeingkids,
nx"
heshakeshisheadandl ooksathiswatch"
And
theyaretaki
ngf
orevertofini
sh"headdsacompl ai
n.
"Wej ustgotherMlul
eki"Ican'
tlethi
mruint
his
nightbecauseifhepissesmeof fthenwewil
lhave
apr oblem.
Hegl ancestowar dsmeandIt hinkheseest he
annoyancebecauseheexhal esandsmi l
esabi t.
"I'
m beingabast [Link]
rymyl ove.I'
mj ust
annoyedbyt het [Link]' t
thispissedoffearli
erbutnowIcanseehowbadi t
i
s.I t
'swrongandwedon' tevenknowhowt hatboy
i
sr [Link] dbeahool i
ganandi twillbreak
Celiwe'sheartbeforesheevenr eachesar ightage
todat e"
"
Whatagei
sthat
?"Iaskj
ustoutofcur
iosi
ty.
"
I'
m notsur
e.I'
mt hi
nki
ng27year
s"her
epl
iesandI
f
ailt
ohidetheshock.
"
27?Shewi
llbeagr
ownwomanbyt
hen"
"[Link]
usshewi
ll
haveenoughtimet opickawor
[Link]
goodenoughf orher"
"
Awor
thyguy?At27Ml
uleki
?"
"[Link] obeprotect
edPhil
[Link]
s"he
[Link]
ookandtheybothnot i
ce
thatwear etal
[Link]
annoyedbutt hegirlsmil
esandconti
nuelookingat
him adori
[Link]'
thaveaf atherl
ike
Mluleki
.
"Justl
ett
hekidsbe"Itakeoutmyphoneandt ext
[Link]
ti
ngwithNqubekotonight
becauseS'
nqobil
eisoutwithOli
[Link]
aisalso
homesoIcanr el
ax.

*
***
***
**
AfterbeggingMlulekitohavehisbur gerat
McDonal d'
swef i
nal l
ymakei thomeandIcant el
l
heissoovert heamazi ngeveningIpr omisedhi
m.I
wantt otr
ysomet hingdif
[Link]
fi
rstandthenlethim showeraf t
ermewhi l
eI
pretendtobewant inganear l
ynight.
I'
m weari
ngtheskimpyshortsheboughtformeand
abraasIwai tonthebedforhi
mt ofi
[Link]
showerstopsrunningandhewalksoutwithatowel
aroundhi
swai st
li
ne.
"It
houghtyouwi
llbeasl
eepbynow"hesays
befor
ehebendsoverandki
ssmyli
ps.
"[Link]
isef
oryou"Isl
ipmyhand
underneaththepi
ll
owandpullouthandcuf
fs.
Asmi
lespr
eadonhi
sli
psashel
ooksatt
hecuf
fs.
"Wel
l,
well
.It
hinkIli
kethi
ssur
pri
se"t
hismani
s
suchafr
eakbutIli
keit
.
"Butt
herei
sal i
tt
letwi
sttot
his"Igetoffthebed
andwalktothedoortogett
hedoorIl ef
toutsi
de.
Hiseyesgoalloutwhenheseesachai r.
"
I'
m al
[Link]
hingf
oryou"heundot
he
t
owelandleti
tfal
l.
"
HoldyourbrakesMr,Ineedyout
obedr
essedf
or
t
his"Iputt
hechairdown.
Hepi
cksupthetowelandquickl
ywrapsitaround
hi
msel
f"Done.I
'
m alldr
essed"hewalkscloserandI
st
epback.
"Sitont hechai
randhandsbehi ndyourback"I
i
nst ructandhest opstr
yingtotouchmeandl ooks
atthechai r
.Ipickedtheoutsi
dechairbecausethe
diningchairisheavyandt heki
tchenchairwasn'
t
goingt ohelp.
Hedoesn'
[Link]
dandIcli
ckt
he
cuff
sinonewristanduseat
ieonthenextwr
istt
o
keephi
m secured.
"
[Link]
tti
ghtandl
etmedot
his.I
tmi
ghtbea
l
it
tl
ecl
umsyand.
..
..
"
"I
twillbeper f
ect
.Ihavenodoubt
"headdsbefor
eI
evenf i
[Link]
[Link]'
tli
kei
twhen
Icri
ti
cizemysel f
.
Itur
ndownt hel
ightsandturnonther
adio.I
coul
dn'
tfi
ndaper fectsongsoIsel
ect
edsomesl ow
j
am mixIfoundonYouTubeanddownl oadedit
.
Thefir
stsongst ar
tsandIstepinf rontofhim whi
le
swingi
ngmyhi psandsl owlytakingmyshor t
soff
.
Whent heshortscomeof fi
'
ml eftinar edlace
panti
esandt hemat chi
[Link]
slowl
yt opi
ckthem upmaki ngsur emyassi sonhi
s
faceasIdothis.
HemakesasoundIdon' tgetbutIcont
inueand
throwtheshortsonthebedbeforemovingtobra.I
slowlyundoitatthebackandhelickshisl
ipswhen
heseesmyni pplesfi
rmingupbecauseofthecool
air.
"Youli
kewhatyousee"It
easewhi
ler
oll
ingmy
nippl
earoundmyfi
nger.
"Damnbaby"het
riest
omovebuthecan'
tbecause
heissecur
edbythecuff
sandt
heti
e.
"
Howaboutthi
s?"Itaket
hepantiesoffandrepeat
t
hesamemovewhenIpi ckthem [Link]
whenheget
supf r
om thechai
[Link]
hi
slegst
oo.
"I
fyougetupI
'
llst
op"Iwar
nandhequi
ckl
ysi
ts
backdown.
"
Okay,
okaypl
easedon'
t.I
'
llsi
tst
il
l"
"Goodboy"Ithrowthepanti
esont hebedandmove
closert
[Link] i
ckshisl
ipsandIst r
addl
ehi sl
ap
feeli
ngthet
owelbet [Link] sal
ready
fi
rm andthetowelisn'
thel
pingatall
.
Ishif
tcl
oserandmovethetowelasi
desohecan
feelmebutIdon'
teasemysel
fdownt ohi
m.
"
Phi
li
"hegr
unt
s.
"Youli
kethi
s?"Iwhi
speri
nhisearandnibbl
ehi
s
earl
[Link]
elyst
ops.
"Don'[Link]'
tgetupplease"hebegsbutIsti
ll
getoffhim andwalktothebedbef or
esitt
ingwi
th
myl [Link]
seyesgoal ldreamywhenhe
star
esatmeandhi smouthisopenbuthedoesn't
sayanyt hi
ng.
"
Weneedt
oaddr
esstheuberi
ssue"Isaywhi
le
r
ubbi
ngmyni
ppl
es.
"
Uber
?"hef
rowns.
"[Link]
ranspor
t.I
t'
sfaster
"
Iletmylefthandsl
owl
ymakeit
'swayoverbetween
myl egs.
"
Whyar
ewet
alki
ngaboutuber
?"Heasksqui
ckl
y.
Il
iebackandplacebot
hlegsont
heedgeoft
hebed
sohehasaclearview.
"Becauseyouareparanoi
dandIneedubersi ncei'
l
l
beupanddownwi t
hmybusi nessarrangements.I
t
makessensef ormetouseuber"iusemyf ingerst
o
partthel
[Link]
fi
ngersasItoucbmyself.
Heexhal
esoutl
oudandiheart
hecuf
fsr
att
li
ngbut
t
heywon'tgi
ve.
"
All
owmetouseuber
.Ineedt
hefreedom"isay
f
ir
mlywhi
lepr
essi
ngmysensat
ivespot.
"DammitPhi
li
.Unt
iemepl
[Link]
llnegot
iat
e"
hebegs.
"All
owmet ouseuber
.It'
sjustar
equest
edri
de"i
presshar
derandicanfeelmysel
fwarmingup.
"Shi
t"hegruntssomemor eandirai
semyheadt
o
[Link]
estarr
ingatmeasi
fhe
wantstograbmebutt heti
ewon'tgi
vei
n.
"
[Link]
sfeel
sgood"Il
etoutamoanandcur
lmy
t
oesonthebed.
"I
'
m war ni
ngyouPhil
[Link]
ieme"heyell
shi
svoi
ce
[Link]
semyheadagainandhei
s
standi
[Link]
sont hef
loorandhei
ssohar
d.
Irubabitf
ast
erwhi
lel
ett
ingoutanot
hermoanand
pull
ingt
hesheetwi
thmyfreehand.
Aloudnoisefol
lowsandIj [Link]
brokenMlul
ekidoesn'tevengi
vemeachancet odo
anythi
ngashegr absmyl egsandil
andbackont he
[Link] nabl i
nkandhedoesn'teven
sl
owdownasheent [Link] ndeepand
hi
sf i
nger
sonmyhai randhisli
pscover
ingmine.
Thewhol et
[Link]
acemysel
ffor
theorgasm whenifeeli
tapproachandMlul
ekipull
s
myar m upandholdsitabovemyheadwheni
fi
nall
[Link] oll
owsafterandwebothli
estil
lin
eàchotherarmsforamoment .
"
I'
llgetyouyourowncarandadriverwhil
eyouwai
t
f
oryourownl i
[Link]"he
whispersi
nmyear .
Chapt
er96

Ml
uleki

"Soletmemakesur eIam getti

ngthi
sright
.You
andPhiliwerelitt
leadventurousandshecuf f
ed
yourhandtot hechai r
.Butshedoesn'thavethe
keys"saysNqubekocl earl
ylaughi
ngintheother
[Link] ai
r, Iwouldlaughathimtooi ft
he
sit
uati
onwasr eversed.
"[Link] ngto
helpmegett hi
sthingoutofmywr i
stornot?
"Itry
[Link] mthatitpissesmeofhe
willenj
oyeverymomentoft hi
s.
"Idon'
thavet
[Link]
m
tocomeandbr eakyouf
ree"hel
et'
soutanother
chuckl
e.
"YouknowThubacan'tkeephi
m mout [Link]'
t
wantthem t
alki
ngaboutmysexl i
feNqubeko"I
don'
tevenwantthem f
antasi
zingaboutPhil
i.
"Okayfi
ne.I'
l
lgopickt
hem upandcomefreeyou.
Canyouholdt i
ghtf
orf
ewmor eminut
es?
"He
teasesbef
oreheendsthecal
l.
Iwalkbacktotheki
tchenandf i
ndPhil
ibending
overthecupboar
[Link] i
ngmyshirtandI
canseeherassassher eachesforsomething
behindit
.[Link] ust
happentohavemorecont r
olother
wiseshecould
getawaywi t
haloti
fshepul l
ssomef r
eakyshitl
ike
l
astnight.
"
Needhel
p?"Iaskandshej
[Link]
dn'
thear
mecomein.
"Sorr
y,Ithi
nkImighthavedroppedt
hekeyonthi
s
l
itt
[Link]
nghereand
somethingdroppi
ngbutIdidn'
tpayatt
ent
ionatt
he
ti
me"
Ist
epcl
oserassheshif
[Link]
[Link]
dn'
thaveputthem
t
her
e.
"
Let
'ssee"Il
ookcloserandtr
ueenoughIcansee
t
heli
tt
lekeystuckontheli
tt
lespace.I
twil
ltakeus
awhil
etogetitoutsoIdeci
detoleaveitt
here.
"It
'stherebutNqubekoi scomingtogetmeoutof
this"Iraiset
hecuff
edar m andshesmi lesshyl
y.
"[Link] eakingthechai
r
everythingelsewasfine"Ipul
lhercloser.
"I
'
m gladyoul
ikedi
t"sher
est
sherheadonmy
chest
.
"Il
ikeeverythi
ngyoudoeveni fyouaredoi
ngi tto
haveaf i
nalsay"Iaddandhol dhertightwhenshe
wantstost epback."Imeanyour eal
lywentallout
tomakemeagr eet
ol [Link]
et hat"
Iwhisperinherear.
"Butyoudidn'tagr
ee"sherepli
esandIf eelher
handsonmyshi rt
.Ifshesl
ipsthem underneat
hthe
shir
ti'
llhavetofuckheronthetabl
ebef ore
Nqubekoget shere.
"Ofcour
seIdi
dn'[Link]
ety
notmycontr
[Link]'tt
rustdr
iver
[Link]
guysar erudeandt reatthei
rcustomersl
ikedir
tand
don'tevengetmest artedonthecomplainspeopl
e
haver egardingdif
ferentcarsar
rivi
ngont hepi
ckup
spotwhent heappsaysi t'
sanothercar
.Thewhole
thi
ngi snotsaf e"
"SoIhavetohaveadri
ver
?Hewillbeyourspy
sinceyouwil
lpayhi
m"hertonei
saccusingl
ybut
sheisnotwrong.
"Ofcour
sebutt hatshouldmoti
vateyoutodoyour
l
icencefasterandgetyourdri
vingfr
eedom"t
herei
s
noneedf ormet oactli
keI'
m notacaveman.
Shedoesn'
tsayanythi
ngmor
ebutherhandshave
foundawayunderneat
hmyshir
[Link]
ouchtur
ns
meon.
"Weneedtorepl
acet
hechair"IsaysoIcan
destr
uctmysel
ffr
om al
lthi
[Link]'
tstop
though.
"
Youdi
dn'
thavet
obr
eaki
t"sher
epl
ies.
"Youwer
emast ur
bati
ngrightinfr
[Link]
wasIsupposedtosay?"Thinki
ngaboutt
heway
shedi
dmakesmeevenhar der.
"
Youshouldhavebeenpat
ient
"shelaughsandI
t
hinkshecanfeel
meagainstherst
omach.
"Ij
ustthankGodthatyouwer esmar tenought
ouse
ahandcuffsandat i
eot herwi
seIwouldhave
brokenanarmtryi
ngt of r
eemyself"Ilowermy
[Link] or
amomentwear ejustgetlosti
nit.

*
****
***

"Nqubekoi
shere"Itel
lherasIhel
pherdownt he
counter
.It
ri
edtostopmyselfbuti
nt heendIgave
i
nandwedi ditonthekit
chencounter.
"
Letmegogetdr essed"shesmil
esandhurr
iesup
t
hestai
[Link]
sofixmypant sandgothel
oungeto
l
etNqubekoin.
"
Youl
ookl
ikesomeonewhoj
usthadsex"het
eases
t
hemomentheget
sin.
"
Ijustdid"Icl
osethedoorandext
endmyarm
t
owar dshim sohecanremovethecuf
fs.
"
Iguessit'
sagoodthi
ngthatsheonlycuf
fedone
wri
stother
wisewewouldbetaki
ngtothehospit
al
wit
hbrokenarms"heunl
ocksthecuffandIrubmy
wri
st.I
t'
salit
tl
ebi
tbrui
sedbutI'
l
lli
ve.
"Ha,
ha,
[Link]?"i
t'
sa
whil
esi
nceIgotanupdat
eandwecan'tl
ethi
m get
awaywi
thit
.
"
[Link]
t
hethi
rdphaseandthenfini
shhi
m up"het
hrows
t
hecuffsonthetabl
e.
"AndPr
ett
y?"Ilowermyvoi
cebecausePhil
idoesn'
t
knowaboutPrett
yworki
ngforNqubeko.
"Idon'
tcare.I'
l
lonlydumphertothenearestrehab
andletherfamilydealwi
thi
[Link]
eastI'
m not
planni
ngonl eavi
ngherasajunkyonthesi deofthe
road"
Inodandlookupthestai
rsj
usti
ncasePhil
iis
l
ist
eni
[Link]
,youcanneverknow.
"AndJosiah?"[Link]
esar
edeadbutJosi
ah
sti
llneedstopayforhissi
ns.
"Ithinkinst
eadofkill
inghi m Ineedtoexposehim.
For cehimtoconfessandshamehi m andhisfamil
y.
PlusIdoneedt otaket hem downabi t
.Theyspread
thel i
onandt hecubst oryuntilThembeka
conf ront
edmeabouti [Link] oanswerfor
allthat"
"Butyouwouldn'
thaveneedint
hatsi
tuat
ionifyou
didthi
ngsrightt
obeginwit
h"hegi
vesmet he'don'
t
youdarelook'
"Thi
sisaboutJosi
[Link]
theKhumalofamil
ysowehavet odot hesamefor
myf ami
[Link]'twantt
ofearforourki
dsbeing
aroundt
hem"
"[Link] hewaymyf amil
ywantstol
ay
chargesagainstNothi
[Link]
eelshehadahand
i
nPi nky'
ssuicide"
Nqubekoexhalesbutdoesn'
tsayanyt
[Link]
hink
healsosuspected.
"I
'
vetriedtotalkt
hem outofitbutshelef
tsome
damagi ngevi
[Link] herthr
eateni
ngPinky
withdenyingthepregnancytohergoingasfaras
sayingherli
fewasdoomedbecauseLi ndowassti
ll
goingtoconti
nuewithhisli
fewit
houtsmelli
ng
breastmil
[Link]
'st
[Link]
[Link]
eared
aborti
on"
"Letthefamilydowhat evert
heycantogetjust
ice
forthei
rdaughterMl ul
eki.I
'l
lbri
ngAmandaovert o
makesur eshei sn'
texposedt ot
hescandal
"her ubs
[Link]
s
momentt her
eisnothingIcandot ohel
p.
"I
'
llt
rytogett
hem toseeLi
ndoasachi
ldt
oo"I
off
ersandheshakeshishead.
"Heneedstolear
nresponsi
bil
it
yMl
uleki
.Don'
tlet
him getof
fthehookeasi
ly"
Inodandwebot
hst
andt
her
equi
etf
orami
nut
e.
"SoPhi
lihast
ri
cksi
nhersl
eeves"hest
art
sandwe
bothl
augh.
"
Dangeroustr
icksbutl
uckil
yI'
m al
waysincontr
ol
[Link]
llnotbepushedi
ntoacornereasi
ly"I
t
rynottothi
nkaboutherassonmyf ace.
"
Whatwasi
tfor
?"Hel
ower
shi
svoi
ce.
"[Link] stouseuberbuti'
vetol
dher
repeatedlyt
hatIdon'tl
ikei
[Link]'tl
ist
enand
shethoughtshecanj ustji
ggleherassi
nmyf ace
andi'l
[Link]
"
Nqubekol
aughsandIgi
vehi
mthewar
ningl
ook.
I
t'
snotalaughi
ngmatt
er.
"
[Link]
dtr
[Link]
randsl
ept
wit
hyourhandinhandcuf
[Link]
y"
"Ioffer
edacarandlessons.I
'
drathershedri
ves
herself
.Untilt
heni
'
llhavesomeonedriveher
"it
's
betterthatway.
"Youar eacti
nglikeamanMl ul
[Link]
liuse
[Link] eshegetsthesameper son
everydayandmakesur eheknowsshei syours.
Shedoesn' thavetoknow"advi
sesNqubekoi na
quiettone.
"
Youmeanheckt
hesyst
em?
"
"[Link]
ythi
ngneedstobedanger
ousMluleki
.
Findsomeonetomanipul
atetheapponherphone
soeveryti
meshesendsar equesti
tgoestot
he
samepersonoritgoestoyourphoneandyoucal
l
yourdr
ivertopi
[Link]'tevennot
icei
f
youfi
ndsomeonewhodoesaneatj ob"
"
Andi
fsheusesadi
ff
erentphone?
"
"Whywoul dshe?Herri
deswillbepaidbyyouso
shewon' twantt
[Link]
willcomeoutasaherowhowasabl eto
compr [Link]
'sreal
lyt
hat
simple"
"
SoIcancelt
hecar
?"
"Ofcour
[Link]
hetimebeingjustl
ethert
hink
[Link] l
lgetheracarandgiveher
thefr
eedom ofdr
ivi
ng"headvisesandInod.I
t
makessensewhenheput sitl
ikethi
s.

*
****
***
Nqubeko

Il
eaveMl
ulekiandcal
lNot
hil
ebutherphonegoes
strai
ghtt
ovoicemail
.Sheobvi
ousl
ydoesn'tknow
thatshehasarealbatt
lecomi
[Link]
Amandai nst
eadandsheanswersimmediatel
y.
"
Dad"
"
[Link]
ikeyouarecr
ying"Ist
op
wal
kingj
ustincasei
'
m heari
ngthi
ngs.
Shedoesn'
trepl
yinst
eadIhearanoi
[Link]
hing
breaki
ngandthenvoi
ces.
"
Getofft
hephone"yel
lst
hephonebef
oret
hephone
i
scutoff
.
Imakeanot
hercallanditringsoncebeforei
tgoes
tovoi
cemai
[Link]
lLindo'snumberandhi sphone
ri
ngsforal
ongt i
mebef orehisl
azyvoicecomeson.
"
Wher
eisAmanda?
"Idon'
tevengr
eethi
m.
"Cleaning"her
epl
iesst
il
lsoundi
ngl
ikehei
s
sleeping.
"
Cleaningwhat?Wher
eareyou?
"Can'
tthi
sboyhear
t
heur gencyi
nmytone.
"Thekit
[Link]
eSceloaskedhert
ocl
eanupthe
kit
[Link]'
tcomeandmum won'
trai
se
hersal
ary"t
hel
inegoesdeadaf
ter
.
Ist
areatmyphonef
oramomentbef
oreget
ti
ngi
n
mycar.
"Thembeka.I
'
m headi
ngtouLundi
.I'
llt
alkt
oyou
whenIcomeback"Itel
lThembekathemomentshe
answersmycall
.
"
Anyt
hingwr
ong?
"Shesoundsal
armed.
"[Link]
ustneedtotal
[Link]
ghtcome
backwithherift
hat'
snotapr
obl
em"Idon'
twant
hertoworryaboutt
his.
"
[Link]"
"
Loveyoubabe"Iaddbef
oreendi
ngt
hecal
l.

*
****
***

Thetri
ptakesmel essthan2hour s.I
t'
samir
acleI
didn'
tdri
veof ft
heroadinthosecur ves.I
'
vebeen
tr
yingtocallherphonebutitsti
lloffandNot
hil
e's
[Link]
ndodidn'tevenanswerwhenI
cal
ledhi
m agai
n.
Igetoffthecarandj
oginsidetheyardbecause
wait
ingforthelar
getoopenisdelayi
[Link]
onceandpusht [Link]
stpersonIsee
i
sNot hil
esmokinginthel
oungewi t
hamansi t
ti
ng
nexttoher.
"
Nqubeko"sheseemsshockedanddoesn'
tknow
whatt
odowi t
hherci
garet
te.
"
Not
hil
e"Ipusht
heasht
rayt
owar
dsher
.
Themani [Link]'tmovebut
givesmet [Link]
calcul
ati
ngifhecantakemeiftheneedari
ses.
"
Wher
eisAmanda?
"
"Youdroveallthi
swayforyourbr
at?
"Shelaughs
andIsmel lal
[Link]
hil
eissmoki
nganddrinki
ng
befor
emi dday.
"Amanda"Icalloutbecausei
t'
scl
eart
hatt
hismi
ght
begoingtoofar.
"Dad"saysAmandaappear
ingintheki
[Link]
s
cryi
ngandIcanseeahandpr i
ntonhercheek.
"
Didyousl
apmydaught
er?
"It
urnbackt
oNot
hil
e.
"[Link] dsdoneedsomedi sci
pli
ne.I
t'
s
notatr
ainsmash"sayst [Link]
ngby
Amanda'sreact
ionIassumeheistheonewhohi t
her.
"Packsomecl ot
hesandgowai tformeint
hecar"I
tellherandshedoesn'
thesi
tat
[Link]
disappearsdownthepassageIturntoNot
hil
e.
"
Youl
ethi
m sl
apmydaught
er?
"
"Hewast r
yingtodisci
[Link]
heardherwhenIaskedhert ocleanthekitchenup.
Scel
ot hinksit'
sabadi deatopayal lthatmoneyto
thecleanerwhenAmandacancl [Link]
l
dayaf t
erall"shedoesn'tseem botherednow.
Iwaitaf
ewmi nutesbef
oreAmandaappear
swi
th
herunzi
ppedsuit
case.
"Here"Igi
vehert
[Link]
akest
hem andhur
ry
off
.

*
****
***
Themomentshegetsint
hecarIheadt
othe
ki
tchenandgrababr
oom andamopbefor
egoi
ng
backtothem.
"Here"Ithr
owt hemoptot hemanandbr eakt
he
broom inhalfbefor
edel
iveri
ngthebeat
ing.
"Youar eamanenought ohi [Link] etaket he
mopandhi tme"It el
lhim whi l
ehi tt
inghi m
repeatedlyashet riestogetof ft hecouchandavoi d
maj orhit
[Link] cet hi
ngabouthi tti
ngsomeone
sitt
ingdowni sthatt heydon' tthinkaboutget ti
ngup
ri
[Link] ealwaysconf usedatf irstand
byt heti
met heytryt ogetupt heyhavet oavoi d
beinghitsot hei
rheadscan' tpr ocessever ythingat
[Link] t
erst rugglingforawhi lehef inallyst ands
butIdon' tgivehim achancet opi ckupt hemop.
Not hi
leisscr eami ngandLi ndohasj oinedt he
viewing.
"Youdareputyourhandsonmydaught
eragaini
'l
l
kil
lyou"Iaddbefor
eputt
ingdownt
hesti
[Link]
mani sbleedi
ngonhiseyebr
[Link]
pul
lsoutakni
feandIpul
loutmygun.
"Don'
tlett
heat
ti
tudef
[Link]
lyour
ight
now"IwarnandNothi
lei
sstil
lscreami
ng.
"
It
'snotover
"war
nst
heman.
"
Youbet
.Trymeagainandi '
l
lmakesur
eyour
f
amil
yburi
[Link]"It
urnt
oNothi
le.
"
Getoutofmyhouse"sheyel
ls.
"Don'tevenbot [Link] awyer
becauseyourpr oblemsareonlypill
[Link] ght
alsosuef orcustodyofmydaught er"Idon'twaitf
or
anotherinsultbeforeheadingtothedoor .Lindo
comesaf termebutIi gnorehi
[Link] m andhi s
mot hercansor tthemselvesout.

Amandai sst i
llcr
[Link] de
becausei '
m notsurehowt ocomf ortherrightnow.
Ami nutepassesbef oreIremembert hatther eis
Phil
[Link] dknowwhatt [Link] answers
herphoneandIaskt ospeakt oherdirectl
yand
Mlulekicansenset hati'
m noti
nt hemoodsohe
handst
hephonet
oher
.
"
Nqubeko"
"[Link]
.Amandaiscr
yingandi
'
m not
surewhattosaytoher"Il
owermyvoice.
"
What
'swr
ong?
"
"Nothi
lei
sdrunk,herboyfr
iendsl
appedherand
theymadehercleanthehousebecauset he
boyfri
endthi
nkspayingforahousekeeperi
sa
wasteofmoney"
"
Yoh.I
sshet
her
ewi
thyou?
"
Il
ookinthecarandshei
sst
il
lcr
yinghuggi
ngher
knees.
"
Yes"
"[Link]
[Link]
lspeak
whenshei sready"t
hatsoundssi
mpleenoughbut
Phil
ihasraisedthr
eekids
"
Justahug?
"Iaskj
ustt
obesur
e.
"[Link]
[Link]
lassur
ehert
hatshei
s
safewithyou"sherepeats.
"ThanksPhil
iswa"Iendt
hecallandopenthedoor.
ShelooksupandIopenmyar [Link]
'souta
sobbeforeshethrowshersel
[Link]
ti
ght.

*
****
*
SeeyouonWednesday
Chapt
er97

Nqubeko

I’
vebeenwal ki
ngupanddownt hepassaget ryi
ng
togatherenoughst r
engthtoknockonAmanda’ s
doorsincewear ri
vedandshedi sappear edinthe
[Link] otalktoher,
butIdon’ twanttobe
toomucht oherr i
[Link] rainedmei n
heartbr
eak, andIjustdiscover
edt hef at
herthi
ng.
Thedooropenswi t
hacr ackandoureyesmeet .
Sheisst i
[Link] ight;sheis
natural
lylikethat,
andnowIsor toffinditrat
her
[Link], I
’mt hef athersoIcanbebi ased.“ Dad,”
“Hey,areyouf eel i
ngokay? ”Iaskandki ckmysel f
foraskingast upi dquest [Link] seshei sf ar
from beingfine.“ I’mf eelingbet t
er”shesmi l
esandI
feelalit
tlebetter .“That ’
[Link] sit
Celiweandt heboysi fyouwantt o”Isuggest
becauseIknowshel ovest hosekidsandPhi liand
Thembekawi llknowt her ightwor [Link]
i
sn’tmetbyachar mingsmi l
eonherf ace.“Iwas
hopingwecanj ustst aytoget herandwat chBi g
Bang”hert onei sshyandIsmi l
[Link]
shecansuggestwer obast oreandI ’
llofferapl an
togetawaywi thi t
.“What ’sbigbang?Ihopei t’
snot
thoseagei nappr opriateact ionmovi eswi thbl ood
andguns, ”Shel aughsandf ul
lyexitsthebedr oom.
“It
’[Link] gBangTheor y;Shel don
Cooperandhi sf riends”It hinksheexpect smet o
knowwhatt hati s, andIcan’ teventextThembeka
toask.“Neverhear dofi t
,butIcoul ddowi tha
l
augh, ”“Youwi llenj oyi t
”shegoesbacki ntoher
room andcomesbackwi thamemor yst i
ck.“ Dowe
needpopcor n? ”Iask.“ Wedo.I ’
l
lmakeusashake”
shesuggest sandwel eavet hememor ystickont he
cof
feet
ableandgomakeourshakesandpopcor
n
i
ntheki
tchen.
*** ** ** ** * Theki t
chenl ooksl i
keast orm bl ewi n
andI ’
vebeenscr atchingmyheadt hewhol etime
becauseI ’
m notusedt ot hemess, butIcan’ ttell
Amandat hatsheneedst odobet ter.“Done”she
raisesagl assi nmyf aceandshel ookspr oudof
her self.“Ican’ twai ttot ast e”It r
yt osoundcheer f
ul.
Itlookst oosweetandt oopi nk.“Letmecl eanup
andt henwewi l
lgowat ch”sheput sthegl assasi de
andpi cksupt [Link] andasi deandwat [Link]’s
notr ocketsci encet hatNot hi l
enevert aughtt heki ds
tocl eanup, butAmanda’ sat temptcanbeadmi red.I
alsohel pwher eshei sleavi ngamessbehi [Link]
shoul dhavedonet hisinst eadofl ett
ingt hatfoolput
hishandsonmydaught [Link] eanupandt ake
ourj unkt othel [Link] st hememor yst ickin
andIst opherf r
om pr essi ngpl ay.“ Babygi r
l,we
needt ot alk”Ist artandshesi tsst il
l,hereyes
l
ooki ngf r i
ghtenedf oramoment .“Howl onghas
yourst artedseei ngUncl eScel o?”“ I
t’
sbeenyear s,
butsomet imeshegoesawayandt hencomes
back, ”shel ooksl ikeshei scount inginherhead.
“Andt hiswast hef i
rstt imehehi tyou? ”Shenods
andIal sonod, butIcanseet herei smor et ot hi
s
stor y.“Doeshehi tLindo? ”“ NO, hedoesn’ [Link]
yellsatmum al lthet ime, ”Iseeahesi tationi nher
eyes.“ Andhehi tshert oo? ”Shenods, andt henher
eyesf il
lwithtear [Link] ’
swhyshedi dnot hing,
becauseshei sal lowi ngt hatf ooltoputhi shands
onheraswel l
.“ Sheaskedmenott ot ell
”she
whi sper sast ear sstar tstreami ngdownherf ace.
“It
’sokay, [Link] dwel lbyt ell
ing,”Shedoesn’ t
seem convi nced, butIopenmyar ms, andshe
aut omat i
cal
[Link] liwasr ightaboutt hehug
thing.I tworksonbot hyoungandol [Link] aylike
thatf oraf ewmi nut esbef or eshemovesandt urns
ont het [Link] eaboutt owat chTheBi gBang
Theor y.

***** ***Iadmi
tIjudgedthebigbangt ooear
ly.
Hourslat
erAmandahasf al
lenasl
eepandwe’ve
watchedsomanyepi sodesandlaughedourheads
si
ll
[Link]
eputherheadont hecushionsoshe
doesn’ twakeupwi t
hapai [Link]’ t
wakeup, andIputmyj acketonherl egsbef ore
pickingupt hepopcor nont hef loorandt akingt he
platest ot [Link] fshecont inuedt o
sleepbef oreleavi ngt her oom t omakeacal l
[Link] hil
e’sphoner ingsf orawhi l
ebef oreshe
answer s.“Nqubeko, ”“ What ’
swr ongwi thyou? ”Iask,
tryi
ngt okeepmyvoi cecal m.“ Why? ”sheasks, and
Ilaugh.“ Soyouar elet ti
ngal owl if
ebeatyourki d
up? ”“Hewast rying…. ”“That’snonsenseandwe
bothknowi [Link] hil
eIknowi swayst ronger
thant [Link] hi
let hatr aisedt woki dsdoesn’ t
deser vet otakeanynonsensef rom someonel i
ke
thatloser .Wher eisthatNot hil
e? ”
Ibracemysel ffor
ani nsul t
,orf orhert ohangup, butshedoesn’ t.I
canhearherbr eathing, soIwai t.“I
’m havingabad
day, Nqubeko, ”shesaysatl ast.“Abadday?You
aredr inkingbef or enoon, Not hil
[Link]’ tsound
l
ikeabaddayt [Link] ehavi ngbaddays,
whi chl eadt oabadl ifei fyoul etitcar r
yon, ”“You
havenoi deawhatI ’m goi ngt hrough, ”shesounds
l
ikeshei sgoi ngt ocr y.“ Yes, Idon’tbutyouknow
verywel lthatmyphonei salwaysonandmydoori s
alwaysopeni fyouneedanyhel [Link]’ tevenmi nd
takingt heki dst ogi veyouenought imet odealwi th
l
[Link] lyouhavet odoi sask, ”
“Youhaveenough
probl ems, [Link] dar oundher ei st hat
yourwi fe’
suncl eski l
ledt hemsel vesandshedi dn’t
evenshowupt obewi thherf ami ly.I nstead, you
tookheronhol i
dayknowi ngver ywel l t
hatt he
fami lyispoorandt heywoul dneedal lt
hehel pt hey
canget ,”Ithinkshei sai mingt ohi tsomesor tof
ner vei nmebutshedoesn’ tknowt hatIgot
Thembekat ostopseei ngt hosepeopl easher
fami [Link] ri
pwasf ort hat .“You
shoul dknowbet t
ert hant olistent osmal lt own
gossi pNot [Link] spr egnant ,
andIt ook
heronhol i
dayt omakesur esheget senoughr est.
Thatf amilyisnoti mpor t
antt ome, shei s, and
becauseoft hatI ’
llprot ectheral [Link]’ t
thinkIhavepr [Link]’ [Link] e
l
et t
ingadi rtyscumbagputhi shandsonyouand
that ’
st helowestl evelanyonecoul deversi nk
to,”“Howdar e…. .”
“Dar ewhat ?Tel lthet r
ut h?Shei s
tryingt ohel [Link] elower ingyour sel ftoa
l
evelyouhavenobusi nessbei ngi [Link] ucki n
punchingbagf oral oserwhocan’ tevenhi tar eal
manwhenhehandshi m asti
[Link]’ t
deservetoseehermot herbecomeabi t
chf oran
overgrownman- child,
”“Youbast ard…..”shesobs,
andIcutherof f.“Youdeser vewaybet t
er,andI
can’tbeli
eveyouar etoost upidtoseei t
.The
Nothilewhowant edt obeaDoct orandwentasf ar
asbecomi ngonebutshei snothingbutapunchi ng
bagf oraloserwhosmokesdaggaandshest i
ll
havesomepr idet oactl i
keherlifeisn’tfall
ingapar t
.
Youhavenot hingt obepr oudabout .Youar efaili
ng
twopeopl ewhoshoul dmat t
ertoyouandyouar e
tr
yingt oimpresssomeoneyouhavenobusi ness
i
mpr [Link] hatsoundl i
kesomet hi
nga
smar twomanwoul ddo?It hinknot .Fixyour selfup,
l
ady,”Iendt hecal lafterandgobacki nside.
Amandai sstil
lsleeping.* *** *** *** *
*
Thembeka
Aringi
[Link]
answerhopi
ngi tNqubekobutit’
[Link]
’saman,
andhegreetsl
ikehei sabouttoyel
latme.“CanI
speaktoThembeka? ”asksaft
ergreet
ing.“
Iti
s
Thembekaandyouar e?”Isitupjustincaset her eis
somet hi
ngwr ong.“ Your eal
lyhavenoshame”he
start
s, andIwasr ightabouthi m soundi nglikehei s
goingt oyel latme.“ Excuseme, ”“
Justbecauseyou
mar r
iedt hatr ichmanandmovedt oDur ban, it
doesn’ tchanget hef actt hattheyar eyourf ami ly.
Thisf ami lyr aisedyouwhenyouhadnot hi
ngand
todayyoucan’ tevencomet osuppor tthem int hei r
ti
meofneed, ”Myheadr emindsmeoft wochoi cesI
[Link] t
herendt hecallandcr yort ellthis
persont of uckof f
.Igowi t
hthesecondchoi ce.
“Whatki ndofsuppor tdot heyneed? ”Iask, hopi ng
myvoi cedoesn’ tbetraymeandt hatIdon’ tpani c.
“Youar emocki ngme?Yout hinkyouar ebet tert han
usbecauseyounowl i
vei nthecityand…. ”
“Wi thal l
duer espectSi r,Ihavenoi deawhatyouwantf rom
[Link] ami l
yyouar etalki
ngaboutgotpai dact ual
moneyf orr [Link] dlobol aand
alsogavet hem moneywhenevert heyaskedf ori t.
Thatmoneyi senought ocoveralltheir
costs,”“Sincewhendi dyoubecomet hi
schi l
d,
[Link] aisedyouwaybet terthant his,”he
soundsdi f
fer entnowIguesswhat everener gyhe
hadi sslowlydepl eting.“ WhenIf oundoutt hat
Josi ahMbonambir apedmeandmyuncl esknew
i
nst eadofcal li
ngt hepol icebecauset heman
violatedme, theyaskedf orcowsi [Link] ’s
whyt heyki l
ledthemsel [Link] oundout
abouti tandconf ront edt hem sot heyki ll
ed
themsel [Link] ndofsuppor tdoyou
thinkt hef amilydeser vesf rom me? ”Therei sno
answerf oramomentandIt hinkabouthangi ngup,
butsomet hi
ngsaysIshoul dwai tforananswer .“I
hadnoi [Link] givemef orcal li
ng,”he
says, andendst hecal l
.Iputt hephoneasi deand
gobackt [Link] sokaywher ehe
i
s, buthewi llcallwhenhei sr eady.*** ** *
**“Thembeka”someonewakesmef rom sl eep.I
openmyeyesandi t
’[Link] ightsar eon,
whi chmeansi t’
stheeveni ngal [Link] tupand
l
ookathi [Link] l
esandki ssesmyl ips.“Is
Amandaokay? ”Iask.“ Shei sf i
[Link] ehavi ng
dinner .Ar eyounothungr y?”hel ooksathi swat ch.
“Iam hungr [Link] i
mei sit?”“It
’[Link]
andhavedi nner”heext endsahandt owar dsme.I
holdont ohim andhehel psmeup.“ Someone
call
ed, andIgavet hem apeaceofmi nd, ”“
Iknow.
Mymot hercal l
edandaskedi fyouwer [Link]
waswor r
ied, andIwast oof ar,soIaskedS’ nqobile
tocheckonyouandshesai dyouwer esnor ing,”he
smiles.“ Yeah, Isleptwel laf ter”Istopput t
ingmy
shoesbecauseNqubeko’ smot herhasnobusi ness
knowingmyf amilydr ama.“ Yourmot her
knows? ”“
Wel l,yout oldMrNt ombel aand
i
mmedi at elyafteryourcal lheconf r
ont edyour
auntsandJosi ahwasi nt heyar [Link] ewasahuge
fi
ght,andt hepol i
cehadt obecal [Link]
communi tyleaderswantJosi ahtof acechar gesf or
hisactions, andt heywi l
lal sohol dyourf ami l
y
account abl ebecauset heyf ail
edt opr otectyou, ”“I
hadnoi deai twassuchabi gdealt oday”Isi tback
downandNqubekosi tsnextt omebef oretakingmy
handt ohi s.“ Andal lbecauseyouhadenough
couraget [Link] sopr oudofyou
MaKhumal o,”hesmi leslikeIj ustdidsomet hing
amazi ng.“ AndIdi dn’
tevencr y,”Igrin“ Yes;you
didn’
tevencr y,myl [Link] ’swhyI ’m sopr oud,”
*
***

SeeyouFr
iday
Chapt
er98

Phi
li

It’
sanewweekandt heki dsar enol ongergoi ngto
schoolandAmandai sherevi si
[Link] s
noisyandIl ovei t
.Thembeka’ suncl eswer eburied
thepastweekendandshedi dn’twantt oattendthe
funeral.I
tmadeNqubekohappyt oseeherst and
fi
rml yonherownt wofeetaboutt [Link]
thereissti
llaJosi ahissuet hatneedsaddr essing.
S’nqobilewenttovi sitOl
iviaandshehasn’ tstopped
smi l
ingeversinceshegotback.I ’
mt rul
yhappyf or
herbecauseweal ldeservesomel ove.“Yourphone
i
sr ingi
ng”avoi cest opsmydaydr [Link]’
s
Thembekahol dingoutmyphone.“ Thanks”It ake
thephoneandi t’
sal andline.“Hel l
o”Ianswerwhi le
getti
ngof ft hecouch.“ [Link] oPhi l
i
Khumal o? ”asksawomanvoi cei nt heot herend.“ I
t
i
sPhi lispeaki [Link] pyou? ”Idon’ t
recogni zet hevoi ce.“ It’sNonj abuloDani saf r
om
Dani saOut [Link] eadaboutyourcompanyi na
l
ocalpapert hi
sweekendandI ’
dliket obei nvolved.
Imeani t’
sonl yfai rthatweal sohel pwi t
hsuch
progr amsdespi tebei ngast arti
ngupcompany”“ I
wasi nthepaper ?”wehaven’ tseenanyt hingatal l
.
Nott hatwer eadnewspaper sbuti t’sal i
ttl
e
diff
er entyourf acei sint hepaper .“Girl,t
heywr ote
anent ir
espr [Link] ail
ingt hecompani es
youar eassoci atedwi thandhowyouwantt he
projectt ogr owbi ggert hanyouf i
rstimagi nedi t
”I
thi
nkI ’
m goi ngt ol iket hiswoman.“ Wow, Ithi
nkI
needt ost artreadi ngnewspaper s”Il aughandhope
shedoesn’ ttaket hisawr ongway.“ Youshoul d.I’
m
notsayi ngbeobsessedbuti t
’shel pst oreadgood
thi
ngsaboutyour sel f
.Itboast stheconf idenceand
weal lneedt heboastever ynowandt hen”shesays
andyesIt ot al
lylovet hiswoman.“ [Link]
ZothandowhatcanIdof oryou? ”Ibr ingusbackt o
i
mpor t
antbusi ness.“ [Link], it
’sl i
ket [Link]
companywant st owor [Link] hefinal
sayi nt hemat terbuti twouldhel pi fyoucancome
anddoapr esent ationf [Link] he
team” “When? ”Icanf eelthehear tsl ammi ng
painful l
yi nmyr [Link] sisexact l
ywhatIpr ay
about .Iwantpeopl et ocomeandwantt owor kwi t
h
me.“ Iknowi t’sshor tnot i
cebuti fyoucangether e
i
nt henextt wohour sIcangett hem t ogetherand
wehavet hispr esent at i
[Link]’ tmakeitt oday
thenextavai lablemeet ingisint hreeweeksandI ’m
chasi ngaf terCl i
vebecauseoncewehaveCl ivei n
ourcor nertheni t’sgoodasdone”If eelthecol d
[Link] smet ocomeanddoa
present at
ionwi t
houtpr eparingandwi t
houtdr i
lli
ng
thisint omyheadf orf ewdays.“ Inthenextt wo
hour s? ”Iaskj ustt obesur eandmyvoi ceis
trembl i
ngabi t.“Yes.I fyouhaveat ransport
probl em I’m willi
ngt osendadr i
vert ocomepi ck
youupandal sohavehi m dri
veyouback”she
offers.“ Noi t
’sf i
ne.I ’l
lbet [Link] easesentmean
addr ess”Ican’ tmi sst hisoppor tunity.“Great,I
’ll
sendi [Link] li
.Ican’ t
wai ttoseeyou”Wesaygoodbyeandendt hecal l.
*
***
***
***
***
ThembekaandS’ nqobilehel pmepi ckanout fi
tand
IcallMl ulekit ol ethim knowandheof ferst odrive
me.I t’
sunnecessar ybuthewant st ofeellikeaman
abouti tsoIl ethi m be.“ Okaybr [Link]’
sinyour
headPhi liandyoul ovet hissoi twillcomeback.
Justkeepbr eat hing”saysS’ nqobilehandi ngmea
wetwi pef ormysweat yf [Link]’ tevenwear
makeupbecauseIwi l
lmakemewor r
yabout
sweat i
ngandt hemascar agi vingmet heEmol ook
wi t
houtmebei ngawar eofi t.“Yes,gooutt hereand
knockt hem dead”saysThembekasmi l
[Link]
bothhi ghf iveandIl aught oo.“ Okay,Ml ul
eki ishere.
I’
lll
etyouknowhowi twent ”Itellt
hem bef or e
pickingupmyshoes.I ’
m wear i
ngf l
atsbutI ’
llwear
thest i
lettowhenIgett her [Link] koutt hehouse
andMl ulekihast hedooropenedf [Link] sses
myl ipsbef oreIgeti n.“Icheckedt hecompanyout .
Theyar elegitandIhavef aiththatyouwi l
ldogr eat”
hesayswhenheget sinandcl osest hedoor .
“Thanksmyl ove”Icl osemyeyesandt akeadeep
[Link] feisaboutt akingachance.* *** *** **
***Ml ulekidr opsmeof fint hepar kingl otandsays
hewi l
lcomegetmewhenhei [Link] hankhi m
andgetof fthecar .“Phi l
i”hecal lsoutbef or eIcan
wal [Link] opandl ookathi m“ Youwi lldoj ust
fi
ne”“ Thankyou”Ibl owhi saki ssandhemakesa
showofcat chi ngi tandput ti
ngi ti nsidehepocket .
Event hesecur i
tyl aughswhi l
epr et endinghei snot
l
ooki [Link] chonandpr ayinghar dt hatI
don’ ttripandf al lasIwal ki nt heseheel [Link]
tot her eceptiondeski npi eceandgr eetherwi t
ha
smi [Link] l
esbackandpoi ntsmet ot he
passagewher et her eisanot herl adywai ti
ng.“ Miss
Khumal o”shegr eetsbef oreshet urnsi ndi cat i
ngI
shoul df oll
ow.“ Hi”Ir eplyingt ryingt osoundr el
ax
andcal m.“ Theyar ewai ti
ngf oryoubutI ’dliket o
conf ir
mf ir
st”shepoi ntst hecouchandIwal kover
towai tasshedi sappear si nt otheof [Link] tdown
andt r
ynott ochewmynai [Link] ’sunl adyl ikeand
Ican’ tbeact i
ngl i
ket hati nt hispl [Link] magi ne
theout [Link] hepr ojectupandr unni ng.
Al aughdr awsmeoutandIhol dmybr [Link]
thatvoi ce.I’vehear di tbef oreandInevert houghtI
woul dheari teveragai [Link] oot stepsappr oach
andst [Link] .I
t’
sSazi.
Istareathi m andhestaresbackhi seyes
unblinking.“MissKhumal o”saystheladyatthe
[Link] i
nkonceandpr ayt hatheisgoingtobe
gonewheniopenmyeyesagai n.I
tdoesn'thappen
atall
.Hei ssti
llt
her
[Link]
'slikestarr
ingat
Ntethelelo'
solderver
sion.
"Thanks"Igetupandwalktowar
[Link]
es
atSazibeforeshespeaks"
[Link]
ealso
waiti
ngforyou"
"ThanksXoli"her
epl
iesandIkeepmyheadst r
aight
.
[Link]
dhernamei sNonjabulo
[Link]
ustnevert
houghtt
hati'
llseehim agai
n.
"Woah!!Watcht
hest
ep"sayshi
svoicenextt
oasa
handreachesar
[Link]
ellf
acefl
aton
thef
loorasiwaswalki
ngin.
"
Thanks"It
ryt
ocat
chmybr
eat
handSazidoesn'
t
l
etgoofme.
"I
t'
sfi
ne"her
epl
iesandImanagemoveawayf
rom
hisar
m.
Iwal
kinandt
her
oom hasoverei
ghtpeopl
esi
tt
ing
ar
oundthetabl
[Link]
lst
areatmeandsuddenl
y
if
eelsmal
l.
"Pl
easecomeinMi [Link]
eadyf
or
you"saysonel
adyandIcan'tbesur
eifi
t'
s
Nonjabul
oornot.
Inodandmovef owar
deventhoughitf
eelsli
kei
havecementar
[Link]'
t
evenwalkf
ast.
"Sheisal it
tl
ener [Link]
hinkwear ei nti
midati
ng"
someonesaysandt hereisal [Link] ri
endlyl
augh.
Itakeadeepbr eathandapol ogiseforthe
[Link]
lthem i'm nervousbuti ntr
uth,I
'
m
shockedbecauseSaziDani saisthesameguyt hat
l
eftmepr egnantandneverl [Link] smy
son'sfather.

*
***
*

Nextchapt
ert
omor
[Link]
elykeepmyeyes
openguys.
Chapt
er99

Phi
li

Despiteabadst artbutIacemypr esentati

[Link]
endoneguyget supandst [Link]
betterevenSazii sf or
gott
enunt i
lNonj abul
ot akes
myhandandl eadmeoutoft heboar droom wi t
ha
widesmi leplasteredonherf [Link] sexactly
howIi maginedher .Sheisshort,couldber ounder
butit'
sclearshei swei ghtconsciousandshehas
thi
swar m airaroundher .Hervoicei sevenmor e
fri
endli
erwhenshei sfacetoface.
"Youarebr
il
li
ant
"sherepeatsandmycheeksar
e
star
ti
ngtoburnf
rom t
hewi desmil
ing.
"Thankyoufortheoppor
tuni
ty"It
ryt
osoundas
happyasIfeel.
"Itwasactual
lySazi'si
deatoforcet
hepresent
ati
on
[Link]'tt
ellhim It
oldyou,
buthisi
deawas
br i
ll
iant
.Youwer eamazingandIknowI'
m star
ti
ng
tosoundli
keI'
m nutsbutgi
rlyourock"shesmil
es
andIsmileback.I
t'
[Link]
ethe
Sazipar
t.
"MrsDani
[Link]
dli
ket
ohaveawor
d"says
someoneatthedoor
.
"I
'llbeintouchPhil
i"sheturnsandwavest hegirl
from therecepti
ondesk."Shewillwalkyououtand
nextt i
meIpr omisewewi l
lhaveapr operchat"she
givesmeahugandt hethingsi
'm carr
yingalmost
fallbecauseIwasn'texpecti
ngthis.
Wesaygoodbyeandt hegirlwal
[Link]
eki
i
snotbackyet .Isearchmybagf ormyphoneandI
can'tseem t
ofindit
.Ibalancethelapt
opbagonmy
feetandpropersearchmybag.
"
Youf
orgott
his"saysSazi
'
svoi
cebehi
ndme.
Itur
nandhei
shol
[Link]
efti
tont
he
tabl
e.
"
Thankyou"It
aket
hephone.
Hebendsdownandpi
cksupmybag.
"
Youl
ookgoodMaPhi
li
"hesmi
[Link]
cal
ledmeMaPhi
lii
nyear
snow.
"Phi
li
.Ever
yonecallsmePhil
i"myvoi
cesounds
shar
perthanint
[Link] angr
ybutIdon'
t
wanttosoundbitt
erabouti
t.
"Iapol
ogiseMashobane"myphoneri
ngsandhe
stopstal
king.I
t'
sMlul
ekiandIpr
essyesasIst
art
towalkawayf r
om Sazi
.
"
Myl
ove"
"
Yesbaby.I'
m aroundt
hecorner
.Ihopei
'
m not
i
nter
rupt
[Link]
eyoudone?"Heasks
"I
'
m done.I
'
m wai
ti
ngf oryounow"Irepl
yandlook
behi
[Link]
ssti
llstandi
ngther
ewatchi
ngme.
"I
'
m herebaby"hesaysandIseet
hecaral
ready.I
don'
tevenwaitforhi
mtodri
veint
othepar
kinglotI
meethim att
hegate.
ThecarstopsandIputmyt hingsinthebackseat
befor
egetti
[Link]
hemi r
rorI
seeSazisti
llst
andi
[Link]
whenthecaralsostar
tsmovi ng.
"
Howdi
ditgo?
"AsksMl
ulekiadj
ust
ingt
her
ear
view
mirr
[Link]
hinkheal
sosawSazibuti '
m notsureifI
shouldbr
ingupthesubjectj
ustyetsoIputitasi
de.
I'
l
lneedtotalkt
othegir
lsfir
st.
"I
twentwel
l"mytonei snol
ongercheer
full
ike
expect
edandMlulekiseest
his.
"Theydi
dn'
tmakeyouuncomfortabl
einanyway?"
[Link]
'st
heFr
anci
[Link]'tcal
litby
namebutwebothknowwhati tmeans.
"Notheydidn'
t.I
[Link] ustner
vousat
fi
rstbutyouknowme, OnceIgetintothemoodI
speaknonstop"Ismi
leathim andhesmi l
esback.
"Ar
ewecelebr
ati
ngtoni
ghtorwewaitabi
t?We
coul
dtaket
hekidsaswell
"hesuggest
sandIshake
myhead.
"I
'
dr at
herbewit
hyou"Ihol
dhishandandhe
squeezesminebackandnods.
"I
'l
lcookforust hen"hesaysqui et
lyandInod
beforet
hecarf allsbacki
[Link] dl
if
e
havetobringSazibackagai [Link] astt
imeIsaw
him wasthedayIt ol
dhim Iwaspr [Link]
eft
forJohannesbur gsoonafterandweneverhear d
f
rom hi
m agai
[Link]
oseehi
m now?

*
****
***

Ml
uleki

Iwaitunti
lPhili
'sbreat
hinggetssoft
erbef
ore
gett
[Link]
takeherphonewi [Link] l
eshewasbusyr i
ding
mel i
keitwast helastti
meherphonebeeped
severalt
[Link] hemessagesso
i
'm checki
ngt hem forher.
Iheaddownst ai
rsandsi tonthelaststairwi
thout
turni
ngont heli
[Link] ovidesenough
l
ightformet oseeifanyoneoranyt hingismoving.I
checkthenumberf irst
.It
'sanunsavednumberand
allmessagesarefrom [Link]
ckthefir
st
[Link] econgr at
ulati
ngheront he
present
ati
[Link]'ssoundshar mlessbutIcheck
[Link] l
iwasn'tt
hesameaf t
er
shewentt her eandt hatmanwai t
edunt i
lshewasi n
thecarbef orehewentbacki nsi [Link] hatf or
peopleyoucaraboutnotr andom st rangersyouar e
hopingtogeti ntobusi nesswi [Link]
messagei sabouthowgoodshel [Link] son
asksaboutDabul aandCel [Link] earlyit
'ssomeone
from herpast .Ireadt het [Link] sone
clearl
ystatest hatt hereissomehi storybetween
[Link]'
scl earlyamanandher emember sthelast
ti
met heysaweachot her .Thel astmessaget his
personisaski ngi fshei shappyt owi t
hmebecause
shedeser vest hebest .Icanf eelacol dsweatgoi ng
downmyspi [Link] aket henumberanddel et
et he
messagesi nPhi li
'
sphonebef oreusingmyphone
toGoogl eDani saOut r
[Link] eshowsme
diff
erentarticl
esbutIgot oimagesf ir
[Link] hat
manandIneedacl earphot oofhi [Link]
messagescan' tbecomi ngf rom thewomanandhe
stoodfartool ongwhenIpi ckedherup.
Thefi
rsti
magei sseeisamanandwoman.A
coupl
estandinginfr
ontoft
hei
rcompanybuil
ding.
Theyarebothgri
nningbutt
her
eissomethi
ng
f
amil
iaraboutt
[Link]
keI
'
veseehi
m some
wher
ebefore.

*
***

Nqubekot
akesfor
evertoanswer
.Hecan'
tbe
sl
eepi
ngalr
eady.I
t'
sjust10pm.
"
Mlu"
"
Ijustsentyouaphot
[Link]
lmeyou'
veseent
hat
f
acebef or
e"
"Letmecheckt hephot
o"IhearThandekaand
Celi
wel aughi
nginthebackgr
[Link]
ket
hey
areplayingcar
ds.
"
And?
"Iaski
mpat
ient
ly.
"
Givemeamoment
"her
epl
iesandIwai
tamoment
.
"Mlu"hesaysandIr
eplywi
thagr unt
.Hehasto
knowsomeonewhol ooksl
iket
[Link]
aceistoo
famil
iar
.
"
YesIr
ecogni
set
hef
acebuti
'
m notsur
ewher
[Link]
l
ooksli
kesomeoneweseeal lt
[Link]?"
Healsosoundspuzzl
[Link]
eastIknowI'
m not
i
nsane.
"
Idon'[Link]'
tbeseei
ngt
hesamet
hing
Nqubeko"
"[Link]
twil
lcomeback"her
epl
iesbef
ore
heaccusesAwethuofcheat
ing.
"Theyar
est
il
lup?
"Iaskbecauset
heyshoul
dbei
n
bed.
"Yepweareplayi
[Link]
ncet
her
eisnoschool
[Link]
atedbedti
meandit
's10:
30
unti
lJanuar
y2"helaughs.
"[Link]
lenj
oy.I
'
llhaveXol
acheckoutthephot
o
andmaybedosomebackgr oundcheckonhim"
"
Why?
"
It
elhim abouthowtheguystoodt
hereand
watchedPhil
iunti
lIdr
oveoffandal
soaboutt
he
messages.
"Youthi
nkit
'shi
m?"Heaskswiththedoorcl
osi
ng
behindhi
[Link]
eftt
heloungeforsomepri
vacy.
"Somethinginmygut stellmether
eissomething
ther
eandPhi lij
ustmadet hesweetestl
ovetome.I
knowshei sallki
ndsofsexyandsweetandknows
howt ofuckmebutt onightitwasdif
fer
entNqubeko.
Ican'
tbei magini
ngthis"
"
Soyouthi
nki
t'st
heex?"HeasksandIhat
ehavi
ng
t
oadmiti
tout
loudbutIt
hinksot
oo.
"
[Link]
ini
shedbusi
nesssomewher
e"
"
Buti
sn'
tthemanwear
ingaweddi
ngr
ing?
"
"
Ther
ingdoesn'
tmeananyt
hingNqubeko"
"
Phi
liwoul
dn'
tcheatonyou"
"Iknowbuti
tdoesn'tmeanit
'sokayforanyonet o
purposel
[Link]'
sdisrespectful
"
Asamanheshoul dknowthatyouhavetor espect
someboundaries.
"
Iknowandwewi lldealwit
hhim onceweknowthe
r
ealst
[Link]'
sfindoutwhohereal
lyi
s"
"
I'
llsendamessaget
oXol
a"
Ihearanoi
sebehindNqubeko.I
tsoundsl
ike
someoneisyel
li
nginpai
n.
"What
'sgoi
ngon?
"Iaskbecauset
her
eismor
e
noi
se.
"Nt
ethelelojustwalkedtothedoor .Heissleepyand
herefusest ogot osleepbefor
eever [Link]
knowhostst ubbornheis"expl
ainsNqubekoandI
i
magi neNt ethel
eloforci
nghiseyest ostayopen
whenal lhewant stodoi scl
oset hem.
"
Mlul
eki
"saysNqubekohi
svoi
cesoundi
ngst
range.
"
What
?"
"I
t'sNtethel
[Link]
ooksli
keNtet
helel
oonlyheis
[Link]'
swhywet hi
nkwe'veseenhim bef
ore"
Istoptappi
ngmyfingeront
her
ailandt
hinkabout
Ntethel
eloasagr
ownman.
"
Thatmani
sNt
ethel
elo'
sfat
her
"hewhi
sper
s.
Chapt
er100

Thembeka

Theent
ir
ehousehadal
ateni
ght
,soI
’
m not
shockedtowakeuptoqui
[Link]
eavethe
bedroom andheadt
oki
tchenbecausethebabyand
Iarestar
ving.
“
Mor
ning”saysNqubeko,
appear
ingi
nthel
ounge.
“Morning,
howwasthecouch?”Iki
sshi
sunshaved
[Link]
dist
ickl
ishagai
nstmyski
n.
“
Hardbutamanhastodowhatamanhast odo”he
l
aughsandki
[Link]
etoutagi
ggl
e.
“[Link]
ast?
”Iofferandhenods“Thanksf
or
cleaningup”welef
ttheloungeinarealmessl
ast
[Link]
xeditnicel
y.
“I
t’scool”het
akesmyhandandwewal ktothe
ki
t [Link] ealf
ir
stsoIcan
keepeatingwhil
emaki ngbreakf
astforever
yone
[Link]
heeggsandsausages.
“Soyouthi
nkyoucanmovei
nbefor
ethebaby
comes?”heasks,
andIst
opmaki
ngtoastandl
ook
athi
m.
“Butt
hisismyhouse”hegavei
ttomeformypeace
[Link],
hespendsmoreti
meherethanhe
doesi
nhi
sownhome,
butst
il
li
t’
smyhouse.
“Iknowandyourhousehardlyhasenoughspace
forthebaby’
sroom”helooksatmelikeIshoul
d
haveknownt hi
salr
eady.
“
Butt
hebabyonl
yneedsacotandwehaveaspace
f
ort
hecot
”
Wearegoingtohaveafi
[Link]
nsi
n
Nqubeko’
sheadtel
li
nghi
mt oar gueandpul
li
ngal
l
t
hetri
cksknowntomankind.
“Achestofdrawersf
[Link]
eastf
eedi
ng
chai
[Link]
[Link]
ngsneedaroom
Thembekanotasmal lspace”Yep,Iwasri
[Link]
aregoingtohaveafi
ghtaboutt hi
s.
“Therei
saspaceinthecl
oset.I’
l
lbr
eastf
eedi
nbed”
Ireasonandt
urnbacktotoastIwasbusywit
h.
“
Becauseyoudon’
twantt
ocomeandst
aywi
th
me?”
“WhosaidIdon’
t?Itjustmakesli
tt
lesense,
”Iar
gue,
[Link] i
nyper
sonwal ksi
nrubbi
ng
hiseyes.
“
Mor
ningNt
ethel
elo”Igr
eethi
m andhesmi
les.
“Mor
ningAuntThembekaandyouuncl
eNqubeko”
hecl
imbsthehighchai
randsi
ts.
“Youareupearl
[Link]
eisnoschool”says
Nqubeko,st
ari
ngatNtethel
elol
ikehei
sstudying
somethi
ng.
“Iknowbutthest
omachdoesn’
tknow”her
epl
ies
andIlaugh.
“True”saysNqubeko,
hiseyessti
llf
ixedon
Ntethelel
[Link]
gnor
ethem andfocusont hebr
eakf
ast
sot hi
spersoncaneat.
Nqubekot akesouthisphoneandsnapsaphot oof
Ntethelelowhileact
ingl i
kehei
slookingat
somet hingonhi [Link] hi
ngis
goingon, andhebet tertel
lmet
het r
uthassoonas
thi
schi ldgoest ot
hel oungewi
thhisbreakf
ast.

*
****
****
*

Amandai
sthesecondper
sont
owakeup,
andshe
alsocomest owaitf
orbreakfasti
ntheki t
chen.
Luckyforher,shefi
ndsmeal mostdoneandIt el
l
hertogivemet womoremi [Link] hank
youandst ar
tsplayi
ngagamewi thNtethel
[Link]
et
them beunti
lI’
m doneandhandt hem thef ood.
Nqubekopullsoutachairandsitsdownbef or
ehe
eats.
“Okayoutwi
thit
”Ist
andnextt
ohi
m andst
aban
egginhispl
ate.
“
Youareeati
ngmyf ood”hepushest
hepl
ateaway
whenIt
rytograbanotherone.
“
Yousnappedhi
sphot
[Link]?
”
“Who?”heasks,andIgi
vehimthehardl
ook.I
’
ve
l
earntthatwi
thNqubekoyoudon’
tplayt
herun
aroundwhenyouwantthetrut
h.
“Okayf i
ne,sitdownandI ’
l
ltel
lyou”hepull
sthe
chairandget suptohelpmecl i
[Link]
comf ort
ableandwai tf
orhimtositdownsohecan
starttal
[Link]
[Link] areatthemanI ’
veneverseen
before.
“Whoist
his?
”IaskbecauseIdon’
trememberhi
m
atal
l.
“Okay,f
[Link]
his”heswi
pesri
ghtandIsee
Ntethel
elo’
sphotohesnappedear
li
er.
“
And?
”Ir
eal
lyseenot
hingatal
l.
“Helooksli
keNtethel
elo”helowershisvoi
ceandI
star
eathimi [Link] pesl
eftandshowsme
themanagai nandthenswi pesri
ghttoshowme
Ntet
helel
[Link],theearslooksimil
ar.
“
Theybot
hhavebatear
s”It
ease.
“Andtheybothhavethesamer est
[Link]
eyebr
ows,thehair
li
neandt [Link]
sameeyes”hesaysandashement i
onsthese
thi
ngsIseetheresemblanceaswel l
.
“
SoyoufoundNt
ethelel
o’sf
ather?Youwer
elooki
ng
f
orhi
m?”doesPhi
lievenknowt hi
s?
“Wewer en’
[Link] hecompanyt hati
s
goingtobeinbusinesswi t
hPhili
’[Link]
yettoconfi
rm,butMl ulekisuspectedandImade
theconnecti
[Link] ookslikehisfatherwi
thali
tt
le
ofPhi
liher
eandt
her
e,”
It
aket
hephoneandl
ookatt
hephot
oagai
n.
“Soheinvi
tedPhi
lij
ustt
owor
m hi
swaybacki
nto
herl
if
e?”
“Don’
[Link] sortt
hisout
themsel
ves”het [Link] hisand
nowI’m notsupposedthequesti
onitorgetal
l
workedup?Howdoest hatevenwork?
“
Hel
eftherpr
egnant
.Ther
eisnoexcusef
ort
hat
”
“Youarepr
egnantandyourhyper
tensi
oni
sn’t
supposedt
orise”hesaysandpushesmyfood
towardsme.
“I
’mjustannoyedt
hat….”Idon’
tgett
ofi
nisht
he
sent
encebeforeNqubekoputsanegginmymouth.
“Justeatandthi
nkaboutmovi
ngi
nwit
hme”t hat’
s
[Link]
hingelse.
Ican’twaitt
otel
lPhi
li
.

*
****
****
***
Nqubeko

Istartatt
heof f
icef i
rstbecausei t’
sbeenawhi l
e
sinceIwentt heref orlongert hananhour .I’m
hopingthingswi llsettledownsoon, andsi nceit’
s
thefesti
veseason, ever yoneistir
edandcan’ twait
togohomef orhol [Link] heyearst arts,
Thembekawi llstaywi thmef ul
lti
me.I ’
l
lmakesur e
shehasf ull
-t
imecar eandt henI’l
ltr
ytocoveral l
anglesatwor ksobyt het i
met hebabycomesshe
canhaveal lmyat [Link] alnot eto
l
ookf orawonder fulschoolf orAmanda, evenifit
meansbr ibi
ngherwayi n.
Thefir
stfaceIseei
[Link]
eet
swit
ha
smil
ewhichmeansshewasreadi
ngabookunder
herdesk.
“Morni
ngMrMbonambi”shegreetsandInod
becausenowIseeCr
aigwai
ti
ngi nthewai
ti
ngar
ea.
“Youdidn’
tcal
ltol
etmeknowhei
sher
e”whati
fI
didn’
tcomein?
“Heaskedmenott osayi
ngyouwer ei
nthepar
king
l
otalr
eady”[Link]
eal
lyneedt
o
smil
emor ei
nfrontofmystuff.
“[Link] f
[Link]
edmi
lk
please”IrequestasCr
aigget
sup.
“
YesSi
r”
Iwalktomyoffi
[Link]
nceCrai
gisnowhavi
ngme
tai
led,
hemightaswellf
oll
owmenow.
Hefol
lowsmei
nandclosest
hedoorbehindhim.
Cr
aigi
snotagoodsi
gn,nomatt
ert
hesituati
on.
“
Whatnow?
”Iaskbef
oreheevensi
tsdown.
“I
’m br
ingi
ngyoupr
obl
ems”hepul
lsouthi
sphone
andpushesitt
owar
dsme.
“
Regar
ding?
”Itaket
hephoneanditcomestol
ife.
I
t’
sLi
[Link]
ookathi
m,waiti
ngforanexpl
anat
ion.
“We’
vebeenchasi
ngthi
sguyf ormonthsal
ready.
Hegetsawayever
yti
me, andheleadsmetothis.
Li
ndokuhl
eMbonambi”
“
Heismysonalr
ight
.Whatishedoingnow?
”it
’s
j
ustaphot
oofLi
ndolooki
ngbored.
“
Swi
pel
eft
”heor
der
s.
Iswipelef
tandthenextphotoisLindosi t
tingon
thecouchwi t
htwopackagesinf r
[Link] pe
moreandt henextphotoshowshi m openingthe
[Link]
’scl
earasdayli
ghtthatheispushi ng
[Link]
ookatmor ephotosunti
lI’
m doneandhand
thephonebacktoCr ai
g.
“Wewantt hebi gguy, notLi
[Link]’t
guaranteethatLindowon’ tgetcaughtint
he
crossfi
re”saysCr aigasifhefeelssorr
yforme.I
knowhedoesn’ [Link] ai
g
I’
mj ustsomeonehehast oharassbecause
someonej ustinvolvedwhat ’
smi nei
nsomeshitI
havenobusi nessbei nginto.
“
SoLi
ndoi
sapusher
?”
“[Link]
fiedhim Nqubekoandwe
havesomeonei nthegroupsoyouknowt hati
t’
s
onlyamatterofti
mebef oresomethinggoesdown
andLindowillbet
here”hecrosseshi sl
egs.
“Thentakehimin”hei
sami nor
,butnocr
ime
deservestogounpuni
shed.
“
Nqubeko”saysCr
aigsoundi
ngdi
sappoi
nted.
“Atsomepointhehastolear
nthatallact
ionshave
consequences”i
t’
sbett
erhegoesawaybecausei fI
havetodisci
pli
nehim mysel
fI’
l
linj
urehim.
“Evenifi
tri
skshavi
nghim ki
ll
ed?Webothknow
theydon’
[Link]
lcuthim
fast,
”saysCrai
gdecidi
nghewantstobebrutal
aboutthi
s.
“
Whatdoyouwantmet
odo?
”
“Webot hknowt hatyouhavepeopl
ewhocanget
Lindoout,andtheycanhelpusexposet
hewhole
[Link]”
“
Ihaveachildont heway, Cr
[Link] s
f
inal
lyset
tl
ingandIcanf i
nal
[Link]’
tmess
i
tup”shewillneverfor
givemei fanythinghappens.
“I
’m notaski
ngyoutogoundercover
.I’
m aski
ng
youtopointmetotheri
ghtdi
recti
[Link]
ff
ers
Nqubeko”
“
Andinretur
n,Lindoget
sout
.Youwil
lper
sonal
ly
makesurehisnamedoesn’
tcomeup?”Il
ookathi
m
andhenods.
“Icanevengethim outoft
hecount
ryi
fneeded,but
i
tshouldn’
tifLi
ndoplaysawaywhentheshitgoes
down”
Ist
andneart
hewi
[Link]
ndoi
s
goi
ngtosendmet
oanearl
ygrave.
“
I’
llt
hinkabouti
tandl
etyouknow”
Hesaysnot
hing,
butIhearhi
m getup.
“
ThanksNqubeko”
Inodandwai
tunt
ilIheart
hedoorcl
osebef
ore
punchi
ngt
hewall
.
Aknockfol
lowsandItel
lthem t
ocomein.I
t’
smy
cof
feeandIhavenodesi
refori
tanymor
e.
“
Thanks”Icont
inuelooki
ngdownt
hest
reet
swhi
le
l
ist
eni
ngtothethrobbi
ngpaini
nmyhand.

*
***
* *
***
* *
***
*
Ml
uleki

Phi l
ileftthebedearl
yandst ar
tedbangi ng
everyt hingint
henameofcl [Link]
foranhourbef or
eget t
ingupbecauseIf earedfor
mypot [Link] s
[Link]
swaitingformei nthe
mi crowaveandshei snowbusymaki ngdumpl i
ngs.
“
Areyouokay?
”Iaskwhi
let
aki
ngaseatacr
ossher
.
“
I’
mf i
nej
usttryi
ngtomakesomet
hingni
[Link]
l
ovedumpli
ngs”shesmil
esandIf
eelmyheart
f
lut
ter
.Il
ovethiswoman.
“Il
oveloyal
tymore”Imumbleandshehear
dme
becauseshestopsandlooksatme.
“Whatdoyoumean?”sheasks,
andIl
ookather
.
Shelooksawayf
ir
st.
“
YouknowwhatImean,
Phi
li
.Isawhi
smessages”
“
Messages?
”
“[Link]
astni
ght
.Igotpi
ssed
anddelet
edthem”
“
Youwentt
hroughmyphone?
”
“Amansentyoumessagesaskingifyouarehappy
wit
[Link]
onl
ythi
nki
ngabouthowIwentt hr
oughyour
phone?
”
“Idi
dn’tseemessages,
sohowwasIsupposedto
knowwhatt heysai
[Link]
etedt
hem”shesounds
annoyed.
“Butt
hat’snoti
[Link]
hatyou
areworri
edaboutthi
[Link]
hersyousomuchyou
j
[Link]
hersyou”
“Becausehelef
tmepregnantandnow, Iseehim
[Link]
hinksomet
hingli
kethatshouldn’
t
botherme?”nowsheisyel
li
ng.
“Iexpectyoutobepissedandtellmeaboutit
.But
youdidn’t
.inst
eadyout hought
,whynotseduceme
andmakemequest i
onus? ”
“
Quest
ionus?
”sheseemsshocked.
“Yes,whatam IsupposedtosayifIcomet opick
youupandt hereismanstarr
ingatyoul i
kethat?
Thenyouactallweirdabouti
ttoapoi ntofj
ust
fucki
ngmet oforget
”
“Idi
dn’
tfuckyoutofor
get”shescr
eamsandnowI
knowthatI’
mr i
ghtoncue.
“Don’tinsul
tme,Phili
.Il
ovethesexbutInever
signedupf orgui
ltysexandyoucan’
tmakeme
startdoingthatr
ightnow”
“
Ineversai
dyouwerebutIdon’tgetwhyyouhave
t
ogetalli
nsecur
eaboutanyt
hing”
“Don’tmakethisbeaboutmyinsecur
it
[Link]
nottalki
ngaboutmyinsecur
it
[Link]
ng
aboutyouseeingyourexyest
erdayandcomi ng
homeadi f
fer
entper
son”
“
Youknow?
”hervoi
cedr
ops
“Ofcour
[Link]’
swhyI
’
m aski
ngwhyar
eyou
acti
ngallgui
lt
yabouti
t”
“AndwhatmakesyouthinkIf
eelgui
lt
y?”her
defencesar
egoi
ngtopickupagainandwear e
goi
ngtomoveawayf
rom ourpoi
nt,
butIcan’
tlet
herdot
hat
.
“
Youst
il
lwantt
hatman?
”
“Howcouldyousaysomet hingl
ikethatabouta
mant hatl
eftmepregnantandneverlookedback?
”
hervoicei
st hi
ckwit
hemot i
ons.
“Becauseyouareacti
ngliket
her
eissomet
hing
Phil
[Link] st
andingyouar
eacti
ngli
ke,I
shouldquest
ionthi
sandyoukeepgoingar
ound
aboutit
”
“I
tshockedmet [Link] helastper sonI
expectedtosee, [Link]
eventouchedmeandIhat edit
.IhatethatIsaw
him andIdon’tknowhowt [Link]
ke
everyt
hingelse,youneededtomakei taboutyou”
hereyesfil
lupwi t
htear
s.
“Itwasneveraboutme.I [Link]
somet hi
ngthatdist
urbsyouandyouactlikeyou
arefeeli
ngguil
tyandIdon’[Link]
hardabouttell
ingmewhot hatmani sl
astnight?
YouknewIsawhi m andyouknewIhadquest ions
butinst
eadyoui
nit
iat
esexandI ’
m supposedto
fuckyouandbehappythatevenwhenyouar e
dist
ract
edyoust
il
lwanttoshagme”
Shedoesn’
trepl
y,andIwai
tforher
.
“Iwasgoi
ngt
otel
lyouwhenIwasr
eadyt
otal
k
abouti
t”
“
SoI’
m supposedtowat
chyoudr
owni
nthi
sand
wai
tforyout
otalk?
”
Shedoesn’
trepl
y,soIcont
inue.
“Sothisi
swhatwedo?Whenyouhavepr oblems,I
shouldstandasideuntilyouarer
eadytotalkabout
them?Ishoul dn’
tworrythatyouarenotokayatall
andjustbehappyt hatevenwhenyouar eunhappy,
butyoust i
llf
[Link] hatt
hekindofmanI ’m
supposedt obetoyou? ”
Sheshakesherhead.
“Whatki
ndofmanam Isupposedt
obet
oyou?
”I
askandshewi
pedthetear
s.
“Whyareyout
reati
ngmel i
keat
oy?Somethi
ngthat
shoul
dbehappyitgotpl
ayedwi
th,
butwhenit
comestosomethingseri
ous,Ishoul
dstandasi
de
[Link] Inotsupposedtobeyourshoul
der
tol
eanon?”Iquesti
onandshedoesn’tanswer
agai
n.
“I
’m sor
ryfordeleti
[Link] dn’
t
havedonet hat
.Ijustgotpissedthathehassome
nervetosendamessageaski ngifyouar ehappy
[Link] ehe?Whot hefuckdoeshet hi
nk
heistocomeandquest ionourrelat
ionship?
”she
fl
incheswhenIsmackt hetable.
“don’
tdothat.I’
m pi
ssedathi
m,[Link]
her
e”Igetoffthechai
randopenmyar [Link]
comescloserandIwrapmyar msaroundher.
“I’
m sor
ryf
orr
eact
ingbadl
y”Iwhi
sperandsqueeze
her.
Shesaysnot
hing,
butshei
shol
dingont
ome.
“
Sohet
ouchedyou?
”Iask
“It
ri
pped,andhecaughtme”shepull
sawayandI
smileather
.Iknowsheisexpect
ingmet ogetal
l
workedupaboutitandIam,butIwon’
tshowher.
Danisaneedstokeephi
shandsawayf r
om my
woman.
“Hedidgoodbecausei fyouf el
landhewast here
butdidnot hi
ngwewer egoingtohaveapr oblem”I
sayitforherbenef
itbutdeepdownIhat ethe
thoughtofhishandsonher .Ineversai
dI ’
m not
i
nsecur [Link]
ottobeinsecur eabout.
Chapt
er101

Nqubeko

“Soyouhavet ogotoCapeTown? ”asksThembeka,

fol
lowingmeoutoft [Link]
ngtoliet
o
her,butIcan’
ttel
lThembekathetruthaboutt
his.
“Yes,I’
l
ltrytof i
nishquickl
yandcomeback”It ake
herhandsi ntomi [Link] atf
inger
sandthey
[Link] ndsmeofourweddi [Link]
fel
tli
[Link] enolongert
hosepeoplenow.
Wear eapr opercoupl e.
“That
’sgood”shesmi
lesandIsmi
[Link]
doesLindohavetodr
agmebacktothatworl
d?
“
Iloveyou”
“Il
oveyout
oo”shel
aughsandIki
ssherl
ipst
oshut
herup.
“WhenIcomeback, wearegoi
[Link] her
wantstoseeyou”plust
heywanttoshowsome
suppor
tr egar
dingt
heJosi
[Link]
won’tl
ivelongenought
oheartheoutcome.
“Aswhat
?Yourpr
egnantgi
rl
fr
iend?
”shel
ooks
alar
med.
“ Yes”Il aughatherr eaction.“Toremovethe
girlfr
iendt it
lemeansyouwi l
lneedtomarryme”I
dr opahi ntandt her
eissomehesi t
ati
oninhereyes
butIpr etendlikeIdon’[Link]’s
handi nmar r
iage,Iwil
lneedt oall
owhertoprocess
thei deaandf allinl
ovewi thit
.Ican’
tambushher
wi ththatpar t.
“Justgot
oCapeTownandhurr
ybackhome”she
changest
hetopi
candIl
eti
tgo.
“I
’l
ltextyouwhenIgett
otheairpor
tbutImi
ght
needt oseeLi
ndobefor
eIleave”
“[Link]
ort
ool
ong”shel
etsgo
ofmyhand.
“Don’tforgettocal
lDrNgcobo”Iremindherbefor
e
kissi
ngherl ipsagai
[Link] henwatches
measIwal kbackwardst
othecarbecauseIdon’t
wantt [Link]
inuestosmileunti
lI
bumpt ot hecarandthenshelaughs.
Ibl
owherakissandthengetint
hecar
.Shewaves
andIwavebackbef
oredri
vingout
.

*
****
****
*** *
***

Imakei ttouLundiinonepiecebesidesdrivi
ngli
ke
amani acbecauseI ’
m pi
ssedof f
.Nothilei
shome
becauseshecomest ostandoutsidewhenshe
seesmedr i
[Link]
j
udgingbyt hewayshelooks,Icantellshehas
beendr i
nkingsincethi
smor ni
ng.
“Youar
ebacktobeatsomeoneup?That
’sal
lyou
doanyway”shescr
eamsbefor
eIevengetoutof
thecar
.Ii
gnor
eherr
ant
sandwal
kpasthert
othe
house.
“Lindo!!
”Iyellontopofmyvoi cewhilepushi
ng
closeddoorIcomeacr [Link]
lecomesafterme,
alsoscr eaminginsult
[Link]’thave
ti
mef orher,
soIkeepsear chi
ngallroomsforLindo
unt i
lIfi
ndhim hidinginAmanda’sroom.
“Cocai
ne?”Iaskwhil
estandi
ngatthedoor
.Lucki
ly,
Nothil
ehadbarsinst
all
edinal
lwindowssohecan’t
escape.
Hedoesn’
trepl
y,andIt
akemybel
[Link]
seyes
l
ookreadyt
opopoutandNothi
lepushesmefrom
behi
nd.
“
Youar
enotbeat
ingupmyson”sheyel
lswhi
le
t
ryi
ngt
opushherwayinsi
de.
“Cocai
ne?YouaredoingcocaineLindo?
”Iask
againwhil
ecal
culat
ingifIcangrabhim bef
orehe
eventhi
nksaboutducki
ng.
“
Hei
snotdoi
ngcocai
ne”saysNot
hil
e.
Imoveasi
def
orabi
tandsher
ushesi
[Link]
hinki
n
herheadshet hinksifsheof f
ersher selfasashi eld
I’
llspar eLindo, butshei ssowr [Link]
shei si nandLi ndo’sshouldersdr op,Irushar ound
thebedandgr abhi m ashet r
iest ostepovert he
bedt ogett othedoorf i
[Link] hebedand
Idel i
verthebeat ingast r
iestof reehimselffrom my
[Link]
’sdi ff
iculthi t
ti
ngsomeonewi thonehand
whi l
et heyt r
yt obr eakfreeandt henhavesomeone
elset r
yingt ogr abt hebelt,whichi swhatNot hilei
s
[Link] eachesthelevel ,I
’
m wi l
li
ngt o
tolerate,[Link] sdrunk, so
shel andsont hef l
oorandscr [Link] gnoreherand
focusonbeat ingLi [Link] esist
satf i
rst,but
whenher ealizest hatI’
m notlettinguphecr ies,
whi chi swhatIwantt oachieve, anyway.
“I’
m sor
ry”hesaysi
nbetweent
hesobsandI
conti
nueunti
lIf
eeli
t’
senoughf
oral
lhi
ssins.
Hesitsupst r
aightandcontinuessobbingwhil
eI
putonmybel [Link]
eisalsoonthefloorsobbi
ng
whil
eclaimingshehasspr [Link]
real
lyneedstosleepitoff
.
“
Doyouhaveanyi
deawhatyou’
vedone?
”Iaskand
wi
pet
hesweatonmyf
ace.
Hedoesn’
trepl
y,andIdon’
tcar
[Link]
al
ri
ght
.
“Thoset
hugswon’thesi
tat
et ocutyourthr
oatLi
ndo.
Theywon’thaveaprobl
em hurt
ingAmandawhen
theywanttogett
[Link]
ifeyouwant?
”
Heshakeshi
sheadandwi
peshi
sface.
“Whywoul
dyoui nvolveyour
sel
fwiththatLindo?
Youar
eakid”Iwantt oslaphi
m aroundjustto
makehimfeelmyhandsbutIst opmyself.I
fIstart
,
Iwon’
tbeabletostop.
Hedoesn’
trepl
y,andIl
ookatNot
hil
e.
“Youaredr owni
nginalcohol
,yourboyf
ri
endi
s
hit
tingyourdaughterandyoursonisdoi
ngdr
ugs.
Isthishouseholdyouwanttorun?”
“
Leavemeal
one.I
’
m goi
ngt
ocal
lthepol
ice”she
t
hreat
ens
“
Cal
[Link]
oar
resthi
m,anyway”
Thatseemst
[Link]
rownsand
l
[Link]’
tful
lygr
aspedt
he
dr
ugi
ssue.
“Theyhaveafoot
ageofhim wi
thashit
loadof
drugs.I
fitget
sout
,theywi
llpr
obabl
ysilencehi
m”
“Idon’[Link] ot
akeal
ine,
andI
didn’
t”saysLindoasifthatshoul
dmeansomethi
ng
tome.
“
Itdoesn’
tmat
ter
.Theyhavesomet
hingonyou”
“
Can’
twef
ixi
t?”heasksandIl
ookathi
m.
“
Yout
hinkt
hisi
ssomet
hingyoucanf
ix?
”
“
I’
llst
opandconf
esst
othepol
ice”heof
fer
s.
“Youhaven’
tbeenheari
ngme, Li
[Link]
e
wil
lki
llyoul
ikeyouarenothi
ng”Il
ookattheti
me
andIneedtoleavenowifIwanttomakeittothe
air
por
tandcatchmyf l
ight
.
“Wear
eleavi
[Link]
’sgo”Igrabhi
m andNot
hil
e
get
supasifshenolongerhasasprai
nedel
bow.
“
Don’tt
akehi
m Nqubeko”shetr
iest
ofi
ghtmebutI
r
eal
lydon’
thavet
heenergyfort
his.
“
Idi
dn’
tsayI
’
llki
llhi
m”Iyel
lbackatheranddr
ag
hi
m [Link]
stsatf
ir
st,
butwhen
i
t’
scleart
hatIam taki
nghi
m withme,hestopsand
al
lowsmet oconti
nue.

*
****
****
***
Chapt
er102Phi
li
I’
m meet ingNonj abulotogetsomef eedbackonmy
proposalandI ’
mf eel
ingner vousabouti tbecause
nowIknowt hatSaziisherhusbandandhehas
sentmet womor emessagesaski nghowIam and
alsocompl ementingmeongr owt [Link]’tr
eplyin
anyoft hem asIdi dn’tgetwhyhehast osendme
[Link] eftmepr egnantandnowhei s
backact i
ngl ikewewer ejustf ool
ingar oundwhen
myl i
fechangedf orever.“Ifyoupul lthatskir
tdown
onemor etimei twil
lri
pandt henyouwi l
lneedt o
changei tandwebot hknowt heskirtisnota
probl
[Link] ockedthepr esent ati
onPhi li
.Thisis
aneasypar t”saysMl ulekist andingbehi ndmeand
l
ookingatmyr efl
ecti
ont hrought hemi rr
or.“IknowI
shouldn’tletSazigett [Link] spartoft he
companybutI ’l
lbedeal ingwi t
hNonj abul
oandI
canignoreSazi”Itakedeepbr eathandIcansee
thediscomforti
nMl uleki’[Link] ectofSazi
bothershi
m buthepr omi sedtonotletitcome
betweenus.“Yes, i
gnoringhi m shoulddohi m good
becauseonewr ongmovef r
om him andMrNi ce
[Link]’ tpretendnottowantt osmash
hisheadin”hekissesmycheekbef or eIcould
commentaboutt hatstatement .
Mlulekiisdrivi
ngmeandI ’m happyt ol ethi
mj ust
sohecanf eelbetteraboutbei ngi ncluded.
“Nqubekowentt oCapeTown”It ellhim andhe
nodsbutsaysnot hingaboutt hesubj [Link]
i
ssuspect ingsomet hingandIpr omi sedhert hatI’l
l
askthismanofmi ne.“ Thembekawaswor r
iedabi t
”
Iaddandt hatgetshi sat t
ention.“ Why?Hei sthere
onbusi ness”“Whatki ndofbusi ness? ”Iaskand
thi
st i
mehel [Link] dknowI ’
m spying
[Link] spr egnantandNqubekoshoul d
knowt hatasecr etmakesusr estless.“ Something
todowi thLindoanddr [Link]
asswhi ppingandt henar eal
[Link] sgiving
usgr eyhai r”hecompl ains.“Lindoisi ntodr ugs
now? ”itwor set hanweassumed.“ It’
samessPhi li
andpl easedon’ [Link] ldLindois
draggi ngNqubekoi ntoi stoodar kanddeepand
shedoesn’ tneedt ot hinkaboutt [Link]
wanthert ohaveaheal t
hybaby”hegi vesmet he
convi nci ngl ook.“ That ’
sani mpossi blesi t
uation
Mlul [Link] hinkshei soutt herehavi ngf reakysex
withanot [Link] tthereandl ether
cont inuet hinkingt hat?”Ml ulekidoest he
unt hinkabl [Link] aughsl i
keit’[Link]’ t
stopevenwhenIl ookathi m.“ What ?It’sfunny”he
addswhenIst areathi m.“ Aver ypr egnantwoman
thati sn’tsupposedt obest r
essedi sathome
thinkingaboutherhusbandandyouar ef i
ndingi t
funny” “Thembekaneedst ot r
[Link]
woul dn’ tcheatonher .Notaf teralmostl osingher”
hel ooksser iousnow.“ Hedi dloseher .Hei sjust
l
uckyt hathegotherback”Iaddj ustf oref fect.
“Yeah, Hei slucky”hel ooksatmef oramoment
andf ocusbackont her oad.
*
***
***
Wer eacht heof fi
cesandMl uleki doesn’ tof f
ert o
comewi [Link] eferst owai twi ththesecur it
y
whilesmoki [Link] hatoddbecausewhenwel eft
thehousehewashel l
-bentoncomi ngwi thme.I
don’tquest ioni tthough.I ’m ner vousasi tisal ready.
Thef rontladygr eetsmewi thasmi lebef ore
usheringmet oNonj abulo’sof [Link] indherwi th
Saziwhomakesashowt ogetupandsmi lewhenI
[Link] dbei magi ningi tbutNonj abulo’s
greeti
ngi sn’ twar mlyl i
ket hel astt i
[Link] sal l
professionalt odayandt hatt akesmedownanot ch.
Ineedhert obef ullyonmysi dei ft hispar tner ship
i
smeantt owor k.“Pleasegetussomecof fee”she
orderstot hel adybef oreshowi ngmet heseat .“Yes
Ma’am”shehur ri
esoutandIt akeadeepbr eat h.
“Goshsor ryaboutt [Link] oughmor ning
butitwi l
lcl earoffi nami nute”shesaysbef or e
taki
ngaseatacr [Link] emai nsst andi ngand
hisgazeshi ft
ingbet weenus.“ I
t’sf i
[Link] her
Iknowal laboutr oughmor ni
ngs”Ir eplyandshe
l
aughs.“ Howmanyki dsdoyouhave? ”sheasks
andIcan’ thel pbutl ookatSazi .Di dn’thet ellher
thetruth?“ TwobutI ’
ver aisedt hr ee”Ir eplyandSazi
smileslikeani [Link] fbutIhavet o
remai ncoolbecauset hisi sbusi ness.“ Wowt hat’s
great”saysNonj abulosoundi ngr atheremot ional.
“Celi
wemustenj oybei ngabi gsi ster”saysSaziand
Nonj abuloalsol ookathi minsur prise.“
Yesshe
[Link] stobul lythem atwi l
l”Ireplylikea
proudmot her.“That ’
sni ce”saysSaziand
Nonj abuloclearhert hroat .“Anywayweshoul dlet
youknowt hegoodnews”shesaysandt hensmi l
e.
“Theyappr ove? ”Iaskunabl et owai tanyl onger.
“[Link] comeonboar dMi ssKhumal o”says
Nonj [Link]
shakeSazi ’shandaswel l
.Thel adywal ksi nwi t
h
[Link] feewi llserveasacel ebration
dri
nkf [Link] hankherandshel eavesusal one.
*
***
***
*
Theawkwar dcoffeecelebr
ationendswhenSazi
fi
nal
[Link] abul
oexcuseherself
andleavemeal [Link] osharethe
goodnewswi thmycousi ns.“Sorr
yaboutthat”says
Nonjabulowalki
ngin.“It
’sf
ine”Iputthephone
awayandshel ookslikeshewasj ustcr
ying.“
Are
youokay? ”Iask.I ’m awomanandi fIwer et ostart
cryingi nacompanyofanot herwomanIwoul d
expecthert oof fermeaneareveni fshedoesn’ t
wantt o.I t’
st hel eastyoucandoandofcour se
peopl ehaveachoi ceofsayi ng“ not hanks”Ihope
shedoest hesame.“ Iwon’ tbeatar oundt hebush
Phi l
[Link] oldmeaboutyourhi [Link]’ t
somet hi
ngIwasexpect i
[Link] dsayyou
datedyear sagobuthedi dn’ tsayever ythingand
l
astni ghthef inallytoldme”shesaysandbl i
nks
repeat edlyt oclearherf i
ll
ingupeyes.“ Itwasal ong
ti
meagoevent houghIwasl eftwi t
hscar sandal if
e
ti
mecommi t
mentbutIdon’ twantyout owor ry
aboutme”Shegi vesmeasadl ookbef oreshe
takesat i
ssuef rom herhandbagandwi peshereyes.
“Tobet rulyhonestI ’m evenpastt hehat i
nghi m
stage”Il iesoshecanr elax“ ImeanNt ethelel
oisa
giftthatlifegavemeandIcan’ timagi nel i
fewi t
hout
him sof ort hatIt otall
yf orgiveSazif orleavingme
l
iket hat”Shel et soutagaspandl ooksatmei n
surpr i
se.“ Whoi sNt ethelel
o? ”sheaskswi t
h
conf usioni nherf ace.“Myson, IhopeSazit oldyou
thathel eftmepr egnant ”Ithoughtt heyt alked.
Unl esshet ol
dherl i
es?“ Butyoumi scar r
iedand
yourf ami lymar r
iedyouof ft osomeoneel [Link]
didn’tevenwai tforSazit or ecoverf rom st r
oke”she
sayswhi leblowi nghernose.“ Whatst roke?What
mar r
iage?I ’
veneverbeenmar riedandIdi dn’t
mi [Link] snamei sNt ethelelo”Isay
thewor dsqui cklybecauseI ’
m st ar t
ingt oget
conf usedmysel f.“OhmyGod”sheget supand
l
eavet heof fi
[Link] andupandt hi nkabout
followingherbutst [Link] l
lcomebackt ome
tocl eartheconf usi [Link] tdownagai nbutt hist i
me
Imakesur ethatI ’
m wat chi ngt hedoorj ustincase
theyat tackmeorsomet [Link]’ tbesur e
whenpeopl est artact i
ngal lwei [Link] met icksby
bef oreIhearf ootst epsandt heybot happear .Sazi
l
ooksshockedandNonj abul oiscr yingbehi ndhi m.
“Okay, what ’sgoi ngon? ”Idemandwhi l
eget t
ingon
myf eet.“Pleasesi tdown? ”saysSazicl osingt he
doorbehi ndt [Link] abul osi tsdownandIal so
sitbutSazimovest hest andbehi ndherbef orehe
pullsouthi scel l
[Link] tashedi alst he
numberandt hephonest artsr i
ngi [Link] hecall
onl oudspeaker .“Sazi so”awomananswer s.“Aunt
Bet t
y.I sAuntGabi sil
et here?”heasks.“ Yesshei s
[Link] don”sher epl i
[Link] henoi seof
theper sonmovi ngar oundanddoor sopeni ngand
[Link] teramomentagr oggyaskswhoi tisand
theot herper sonwhi sper sthatit’
sSazi .“Saziso.
Thisi sasur pri
se”shesays.“HiAunt ”saysSazi
hisvoi cedr opping.“[Link]’ tsoundal ri
ght.
Whathast hatwomandonenow? ”sheasksand
Nonj abul of li
[Link] udet hattheydon’ tli
ke
heratal l.“DidPhi li
swal osethebabyandherf amil
y
mar ri
edhert osomeoneel sebecauseIhada
stroke? ”heasksandIl ookathi [Link] r
oke?
“Sazi so, whyt hequest ionsnow? ”sher epliesher
voicenol ongersoundi nggr oggy.“ BecauseIhave
Philiwi thmer ightnowandshehasbeenr aisi
ngmy
sonal lt heseyear [Link] ri
ed”
Theot herendgoesqui et .Weallstareatt hephone
wai t
ingf orherr eply.“ Aunt .WhenIhadast rokedid
youevent el
lPhilithatIwassi ck?”heasksand
againt her ei snoanswer .“[Link]
namedhi m Ntethelelo”headdsandwecanheart he
breathi ngwhi chmeansshei sli
steningbutnot
replying.“ Whatdi dtheyt el
lyouPhi li
?”heasksandI
j
umpabi tbecauseIwasn’ texpect ingt hatquest i
on.
Asf arasIknowI ’m her et
oheart het ruthand
digestitbecausecl earlytherei sal otIdon’ tknow.
“Thatyouwentt oGaut engt olookf oraj ob”Ir eply
feeli
ngmyownvoi cetrembl e.“Andnevercame
back? ”heasksandInod.“ Aunt .Howcoul dyoul et
megot hroughal lthi
s?Imour nedf [Link]
watchedmedr owni npai nandmovedmeacr oss
thecount rysayingi t
’sformyowngood”heyel l
s
andi tmakesNonj abuloandIj ump.“ Youal lknew
andl etmesuf f
er”headdsbef or ehi svoicebr eaks.I
l
ookawaywhenNonj abuloget supandcomf orts
him.“ Ishouldgo”Igetupandgr abmybagbef ore
walkingout .It
’salott oprocesssoIkeepwal king
untilIbumpt oasol i
dbody.I t
’sMl ulekiandhe
[Link] het earsandI
shakemyheadbef orehegoesi nsidet obeatup
someone.“ Let’
sgohome”It akehi shandandhe
foll
owsbuthi sfaceisst il
llookingbehi ndme.

*
***
***
***
*
Ml
uleki
Phi l
isatdownandcr iedbef oreshet oldmewhat
[Link] dheri nmyar msandcomf ortedher
asshecr iedandcur sedSazi so’ sfami l
y.I
under standheranger .Besidet hatI ’mi nsecur eand
jealousbutwhatt heydi dwascr uel .Wor set hey
knewshewasj ustayounggi r
lal readyt aki ngcar e
[Link] yingfinallyst oppedIgaveher
somepai nkill
ersf ortheheadacheandor der edher
[Link] ltoNqubekoasshesl eeps.“ So
Thembekat hi
nksyouar eoutscr ewi ngsomeone
behi ndherback”Idon’ tlaught hist i
me.I twas
Phi l
i’
sreact i
ont hatmademel augh.“ Ishoul dhave
known”hesoundsdi sappoi nted.“ Wel lyoudi d
cheatbef or esoi t
’sper fectlynor mal l
yf orhernott o
trustyou”iadd.“ Becauseyoucoul dn’tletmef eel
mi serablewi t
houtr ubbi ngsal tint ot hewound? ”he
clickshist ongue.“ Thepi t
ypar tyhast ost op
[Link] eist hatboy? ”“Sl eepi ng.I ’mt aki ng
himt oseeSt i
ngl [Link] hinkingaboutt his.
Not hil
e’sreactiont oal lthi
[Link] hing
Ml uleki
”ofcour sesheknowssomet hingbutI
couldn’ tbetheonesayi ngi t
.Heneedst oseet his
onehi msel fplusIneverl ikedNot hilet obegi nwi th.
“Whatar eyougoi ngt odo? ”Iask. “Getmysel f
hookedi ntoamessandpr ayIcomeoutwi t
h
somet hing”heexhal es.“ AndThembeka? ”Nqubeko
standst oloseal otifhel osesThembeka.“ I
’l
lcall
hert onightandassur ehert hatI’m ni tcheat i
[Link]
i
st hewomanIwantt of uckf oreverMl [Link]
pointnowomani swor t
hl osingt hatwoman”Ial so
exhal eandsi t
sdown.“ What ’
swr ongwi thPhi li
?”he
asksandIal mostl aughbecauseheknowsmet oo
well.“Tur nsoutSazi sot houghtPhi limi scar r
iedand
hehadast roket hel astt i
met heymet .Hi sfami l
y
toldhi m shemi scar ri
edandmar ri
edsomeoneel se”
thepi ctureofhi m st arri
ngatPhi l
if ormsi nmyhead.
Thewayhel ookedatherwast elli
ngt hathehas
someunr esolvedf eel i
ngbutIcan’ tr aiset hatpoint
becauseIcan’ taffor dtolookl ikeani nsecur eman
[Link] oactl ikeSazii snotat hreatinmy
l
ife.“What ?”“Yes.I t’
samess”“SoSazidoesn’ t
knowt hatPhi l
ii sraisingt heki dal onet heseyear s?”
asksNqubeko“ Yes, howcoul dt heybesocr uel?
Philihadonl yDabul aandt heymadehert hinkit
wasr [Link] ushedNqubeko”
“That’sunder standabl [Link] eisshe? ”he
asks“Sl eeping”Ilist
enabi tjustincaseIhearany
movementi nthebedr oom.“ Shewi llbounceback.
Phil
iisst rongMl uleki
.Justgi vehersomesuppor t
andbysuppor tIdon’tmeanwat chSazilikeahawk”
“Hebet terstayawayi fheknowswhat ’sgoodf or
[Link]’ tputmysel [Link] ove
Phil
[Link]
won’tletanyonet akeherawayf rom me.
Chapt
er103
Nqubeko
Ist
[Link]
l
ooksful
lerandhernosebiggerbutsti
llshel
ooks
cut
e.
“Haveyouhadanykickstoday?”Iaskand
i
mmedi at
elyherhandreachest
ocuddl ehert
ummy.
Therei
sasmi l
eonherf aceandIsmileback.
“[Link]
rongerkicks”sher
epl
iesandhereyescome
backtothescreen.
“
That
’[Link]
ssyou”
“
Imi
ssyout
oo”
“
I’
m notouther
echeati
[Link]
i
tbefor
ebutI’
velear
ntmyl
[Link]
t
hattoyoueveragai
n”
Shelooksdownf
oramomentandt
henl
ooksatme
agai
n.
“Soyouar
enotmadt hatI
’
mfeel
ingwei
rdabout
youtr
avel
ingagai
n?”
“NoI ’
m not.I
t’
sallmydoi [Link] eall
owed
toquest i
onwhatyoudon’ ttrustandasamanI
needt omakeyout rustme.I ’
m herewithLindo.
Tur nsouthei spushingdr ugsandNot hileknew.
Theyhavepr oofandIneedt ogetinvolvedbefor
e
theysi lencehi
[Link] ewi l
lst
opatnot hi
ng
i
ft heyneedt osil
enceLi ndot ostayoutofjail
”I
expl ai
nandhereyesgr owl argewitheachwor dI
[Link] si
swhyIdidn’twanthert [Link]’
t
wanthert obescared.
“
TheLi
ndot
hatIknow?Yourki
d?”
“[Link]
ndoandNothi
[Link]
ustdon’
tget
howshecoul dl
etsomet
hingli
kethi
[Link]
ndo
i
shavingsexandmakingbabies,
nowhei spushing
drugsandwhoknowswhatelseishedoi ngbehind
herback?
”Icanfeel
myangerr i
singbutIcan’t
makeherpanicmorethansheisrightnow.
“
Howar
eyougoi
ngt
otakecar
eofi
t?”
“IknowacleanerandIneedhi
shelp”Iknowshe
doesn’
tunderst
andwhatitmeansandIcr ossmy
fi
ngerst
hatshedoesn’taskmemor equesti
ons.
“What’sacleaner
?”sheasksandIf
ailt
ohi
det
he
discomfor
tinmyf ace.
“It
’ssomethingIdon’
twantyout
owor ryabout”I
replyqui
cklyandherfacet
akesastubbornshape.
TheThembekaIknowandsomet i
mesl oveisher
e
andshewant sanswer
s.
“
Ithi
nkI
’
lldeci
det
hatpar
tmysel
f”shesays
“Okayfi
[Link]
osethedoorbecauseIdon’twantthe
kidst
ohearthi
sconversat
ion”Iinst
ructandshe
movesveryquickl
ytol
ockt hedoor.
“
Locked”sheget
sbackt
obedandpl
acet
hel
apt
op
i
nfrontofher
.
“[Link]’
m abouttotel
lyouThembekashoul
d
[Link]
liand
defi
nit
elynotyourt
herapi
[Link]”
ShelookstakenbackandIt hinkIseefearabi
tbut
stubbor
nisdomi nantsosher ai
sesahandand
sweartonevertell
.Ican’
tlaughrightnow,maybe
somedayIwi l
l.
“Acleanerissomeonewhof i
xesthemessl ikethi
s
[Link] [Link]
cleanerwil
ltakethetargetof
fhim andcleanup
shouldanyonet r
yt ocomeaf t
[Link] lhi
m
thecleanerbecausehedoesanexcel lentjoband
keept hepersonoutofhar m’
sway”Iexpl ainand
hopeshedoesn’ taskmeanymor equestions.
“
Sohewi
llcl
eanupLi
ndo?
”
“No,hewillexposet
her i
ngleadert
hecopsar
eafter
andwhent hoseassociatedwit
hhimtryt
osil
ence
Lindothenhewi l
lst
artcl
eaningup”Iswi
pemy
fi
ngerundermynecksosheknowswhati tmeans
tosil
encesomeone.
“
AndLi
ndo?
”sheaskshereyesst
il
lal
lout
.
“
Ihavetol
eavehim her
[Link]
ssaf
er
i
nhereunderhi
seye”
“
Andyou?Howisyoursafet
yguar
anteed?”Iwant
t
osmil
eatherconcer
nformebutIdon’t
.
“I’
l
lneedt ot i
ght enupsecur i
ty,
getNot hi
leint
oa
safepl [Link] [Link]
willal
sogetsomesecur i
tybutonlyforashortwhil
e.
Theywon’ tcomeaf terthewhol efamil
yaf t
erthe
casei soutint heopen”Idon’ teventhinkaboutthe
factthatnowI ’
llbeassoci atedwi t
hthi
smessand
probabl yforther estofmyl ife.
“
Nqubeko,
thisisdanger
ous”hervoi
cedr
ops.I
t
hinkt
hebravenessisgonenow.
“Iti
sbutwear egoingt
[Link]
ustneedyout o
remaincal
m.I fyoupani
cthekidswillpani
ctooand
thatwil
[Link] oactli
kethereisnot
hing
goingonmyl ove”nowIdowi shIcanwr apmy
armsaroundher .
“
Howl
ongwi
llt
hatt
ake?
”
“
Notl
[Link]
dbet
her
eint
wodays”
Hershoul
dersdr
opandIseet
het
ear
sbutshe
bl
inksunt
ilt
heycl
ear
.
“I
’l
lneverl
etanyt
hinghappent
oyoubaby”Iassur
e
herandshesmi l
esbutIcanst
il
lseet
hefear
.
“IknowbutIdi dn’
tpictureushavingsucha
[Link]
’sourfirstChri
stmasasaf amil
yandI
want [Link] text
raspeci
alforal
lof
us”
“Wewillhavet
hebestholidaysmyl ove.I
’
llmake
sureofthat
.Li
ndowil
lstayhi ddenandifweall
fol
lowinstr
uct
ionswewillbesaf e”
Shenodsandr
ubherchest
.
“Heart
burn?”Iaskandshesmil
esbefor
enoddi
ng“I
boughtthesyrupyouaskedf
[Link]
hecabi
net
i
nt hebathr
oom”
“ThanksMbonambi”shedoesn’
tmovethough,
her
eyesstayf
[Link]
questi
onbutIwaitf
orit
.
“Howdoyouknowsuchpeopl
e?”i
t’
sthequest
ionI
guessedi
nmyhead.
“Someconnect ionsImadethoseyearsagopl us
Ml ul
ekihaswor kedasacleanerbefor
[Link] dt
he
cleani
ngf orhi
ghpr of
il
[Link]’
tinvol
ve
him [Link]’
sclosetohome”
ShenodsbutIdon’
tthi
nkshei
sbuyi
ngi
t.
“Wewi l
ltalkabouti
tlat
erwhenyoucomehome”
shesaysbef oreshegetsof
fthebedand
disappearsinthevi
ew.
NowIj
ustneedNot
hil
etel
lmet
het
rut
haboutt
hat
manofher
s.
*
***
***
*
Phi
li
Ifeell
ikeMl ul
ekidr [Link] eptli
keIdon’t
havepr oblemsandwokeupst il
lsleepyeven
thoughi t
’salmost8i [Link] ogo
homebutIcan’ [Link]
manyquest i
onsandIdoneedanswer sbutI’
m
pissedoffatthesamet [Link] uinedmylif
eand
keptNt et
helel
of r
om hi sfat
[Link]
sI
thoughther eject
edhi m andIthoughtIwascur sed
tohavet wokidswi thabsentfathers.
“
Pleasedon’
tbr
eakt
hegl
ass”saysMl
ulekibehi
nd
me.
Il
ookatmyhandsandI’
m holdi
ngtheglasstoo
ti
ghti
[Link]
tdownandl [Link]
l
ooksrel
axedandwhenhekissesmyl i
psIlethi
m
ki
ssme.
“
Howareyoufeel
ing?
”heasksaf
termovi
ngaway
f
rom myf
ace.
“
Tir
edandst
il
lsl
[Link]
ethosepi
ll
syougave
me?”
“Pai
nki
ll
[Link]
lneedt
ogetenoughr
est
”
herai
seshiseyebrows.
“
[Link]
t”
henodsandthenamomentofsi l
encepasses
befor
ewebothstartt
alki
[Link]
opand
al
lowhimtogofir
st.
“Iwast hi
nkingwecani nvi
teSazisoandNonjabul
o
overfordinnerandtalkaboutt
[Link]’
salot
andyouar estil
linshockbutwecan’ tl
ett
he
elephantgetcomf or
tabl
eintheroom”hesaysandI
knowhemeanswellbutIwashopi
ngthatMl
uleki
canletmepr
ocessthi
sandletmemakeachoice
wit
houthi
m bei
ngthefi
xer
.
“Youl
ooklikeyouwantt
odi
sagr
ee”headdswhenI
don’
trepl
y.
“
NotdisagreebutIwashopi ngIcoul
dgetfewdays
j
ustt
ol eti
[Link]
lNt
ethel
elo
t
hathehasaf at
her”Ipul
lthechai
randsi
tdown.
Hepul
lsanot
herchai
randsi
tsdownnextt
ome.
“
Isee”her
epl
iesandst
art
spoppi
nghi
sknuckl
es.
“ButIdowantyout obei [Link] hatthe
roadtofami li
ari
tywi t
hmyki dswasabi trockyfor
youbutt heyloveyouandIwantt hem toknowt hat
Saziisnother etoreplaceyouj ustli
keNqubeko
wasn’[Link] hem toknowt hat
theyhavesever alplacest heycangot oforcomf ort
.
Saziwasagr eatstepfathertoCel i
[Link] e
youngbuthewasn’ tactingl i
keshedoesn’ texist.
Andsheal sol ovedhim soIknowshemi ghtstil
l
feelt
hesamebutIdon’ twantyout opanicand
thi
nkyouar elosi
ngusbecauseyouar [Link]
ar
e…..
”heshutmeupbypul
li
ngmyheadt
owar
ds
hi
m andki
ssmyli
ps.
“IknowandIunder
stand”hesayswhenhef
inal
ly
pull
saway.
Inodandl aymyheadonhi schestevent houghI’
m
afr
aidtofalloft
hechair
.Wesitquietl
yforaf ew
minutesbeforeMlul
ekisaysheisorderingdinner
andIgetof fhi
m soIcanshowerquickly.
“
Phi
li
”hesaysasIst
artcl
imbi
ngt
hest
air
s.
“
Yes”It
urnandl
ookathi
m.
“Thankyouf ort
heassur [Link]’
sallIneed”he
[Link] ookonhi sfaceishaunti
ng.I
understandwhatr ej
ecti
ondoest oaper sonbut
Mlulekiseemsdeepert hant hat
.Maybewesur vi
ved
beingoutcastsandr ej
ectedbecausewedi dn’tcare
[Link] r
eadyknewt hatwewer en’
tneededbut
i
tseemsl i
keMlulekiwasr ej
ectedsuddenlyand
nevergotachancet oheal.
Idon’
tsayanythi
ngel
seashest
art
smaki
ngt
he
cal
landIhurr
yupstai
rs.
*
***
***
***
*
I’
m notsur prisedtof i
ndmyphonewi t
hsever al
mi ssedcallsf r
om ThembekaandNonj abuloaswell
asS’ [Link]
edt hem backafterthe
meet [Link] almessagesf rom Sazi
andNonj [Link]’topenanyoft hem insteadI
textThembekaqui ckl
ysayingwewi l
ltal
kint he
mor ningbef oretakingabath.
Theshowerdoesn’ twashawayt hefeeli
ngsi nsi
de
mebuti [Link] uleki’
s
shortsandt -shi
rtbeforegoingdownst ai
[Link]
him sippingaglassofwi newhil
ethef oodsitsin
fr
ontofhi [Link] dn’
tthinkItookthatl
ongi nthe
showerbuti tseemsl ikeIdid.
“
Idi
dn’
tknowthef
oodi
sher
eal
ready”Isaywhi
le
t
aki
ngaseat
.
“
Wine?
”heasksandInod.
Hepour
sagl
assf
orme.
“
Thanks”Itakeasipanditt
astesbet
terthanthe
l
astbott
[Link] ast
eof
l
aundrywaterbutIdon’
tnor
mal l
ysaythatoutloud
j
usti
ncasei
tof
fendspeopl
e.
Hedoesn’tsayanyt hi
ngandItaket hatasmycue
[Link] deredarealmealofcur ryandr
ice.
Itsmell
sreall
ygoodandnowIr eali
zet hatI’
m
hungryforreal
.Idishafullpl
ateformeandheasks
forasmallporti
onsayinghedoesn’ twanttoeattoo
much.
Weeatquiet
lyunt
ilI
’
m doneandhei
snoteven
hal
fwaydone.
“
Somethi
ngwrong?
”IaskbecausenowIcansee
t
hatsomet
hingi
sbother
inghi
m.
“
Whendidyougetyourperi
odaf
terweboughtt
he
mor
ningaf
terpi
ll
?”heasks.
Thequesti
onthrowsmeof fguar
danditf
eelseven
worsebecauseIdon’
tevenrememberget
tingmy
per
iodaft
erallt
heunprot
ectedsexwehad.
“Di
dn’
tIgetmyper
iod?”Il
ookathi
m asi
fIexpect
himtoknowmycyclebyhead.
“Idon’
tknowPhi l
[Link]
amponsandpadsar
eint
he
drawersti
llseal
ed”
“I
t’
sbeenhect icdaysandwe’ vebeensooccupied
byever yt
[Link]’
tremember”It
rytorecal
l
anythingthatmighthelpjogmymemor ybut
nothingcomesup.
“Shit
”hecur [Link]
ateaway
andpusht hewineawayaswel l
.Mymemor y
doesn’tpickupanyresentperi
odday.I
t’
slat
eI
can’tevengobuyt hetestandi
t’
sgoingtobealong
nightifIdon’tknow.
Ml ulekiquietlyleavest hedi ningr oom andIhearthe
frontdooropenandcl [Link]
[Link] rasi tf eelsli
keIcan’t
breat hebutIdon’ tfollowhi [Link] eanupandgo
backupst [Link] det olistent osomevoi ce
messagesl eftbypeopl ewhot riedtoreachme.
Nonj abuloaskst ospeakt omeandbegst hatI
returnhercal l
.I’
lldot hattomor [Link]
Saziso’[Link] sapol ogi singandaskingif
wecanmeetj ustt ot alkbecausehedoesn’ tknow
howt odealwi t
ht [Link]’ tr [Link] l
lgetan
answerf r
om Nonj abul owhenIcal lherback.
Isendf
ewmor
emessagest
oThembekaand
S’
nqobil
ebeforeputt
[Link]
eki
walksi
[Link]
akeshi
s
cl
othesoffandgetunderthecover
saswell.
“Canwegoseeadoctortomorr
ow?
”heasksandI
[Link]
ikehewantst
osaysomet
hingel
se
butst
opshimself
.
“What
?”IaskbecauseI
’
veneverbeengoodwi
th
unsai
dwords.
“I
fyouar
epregnantwoul
dyouconsiderhavingan
abor
ti
on?”heasksandI’
mlef
tspeechless.
Chapt
er104

I’
m exhaustedbutIcan’tsl
eepandIknowt hat
Mlulekii
sawakebecausehekeepst ur
ningand
turni
ngthepill
[Link]’ tknow
whatt [Link]
sayssomet hi
ngl i
ket
histoyou?Ididn’thavean
answert henandIsti
lldon’
thavei
trightnowand
that’
swhywear ebot
hawakebutnott alking.
It
urnandf
acet
hewal
[Link]
hesamebut
beforeIf
eelhishandonmywaist
li
[Link]’
twant
tobeheldsoIshr ugi
tof
fbuther
esist
sbefor
eI
feelhi
m breat
hinginmyear
.
“
Pleasel
etmet
ouchyou”hewhi
sper
s
“Why?Offer
ingali
tt
lecomf ortbef
oreyousendme
tohaveanabort
ionifIam pregnant?
”Iyel
landfeel
himfli
nch.
“
It
’snotl
iket
hatPhil
i”helet
sgoandt ur
nst
of ace
t
[Link]
stbutt
henaggi
ng
womaninmewant sanswerssoIsitupandturnon
t
heli
ght.
“
Theni
t’
sli
kewhat
?”Idemand.
Hedoesn’ttur
ntofacehim atfi
rstbutIwai
t.A
minutepassesbefor
ehet urnsandlooksatme.I
t
couldbetheli
ghtbutitseemslikeheiscr
yingor
hiseyesarefi
ll
edwithtears.
“Youneverwant
edkidsPhil
[Link]
etheonewho
wasallfr
eakedoutaboutushavi
ngunprot
ect
ed
sexwhenwebegan”
“
Ohpl
easedon’
tusemeasanexcuse”Ipokehi
s
chestandhegr
absmyhand.
“
Stopt
hat
”
“
Howcouldyousuggestsomet
hingli
kethi
s
Mlul
eki
?”Il
aymyheadbackdownandhet akes
t
hatasaninvi
tat
ionf
orhimtodothesame.
“
Idi
dn’
tmeanf
ori
ttohur
tyou”
“
Butyoudi
d”
“AndIdidn’
tmeant [Link]
vemef orsayingi
t.
Pleasegetsomesleep”thatfeel
sli
keadi smi
ssal
soIdon’[Link]
houghtbynowhewi l
lknowthatI
am stubbor
nbynatur e.
“
Notbef
oreyout
ellmewhy?
”Idemand.
Hedoesn’trepl
yinst
eadheget
supandleavest
he
[Link]
lowhi
m asheheadsdown
thestai
rs.
“
NotnowPhi
li
,
”hesayswi
thoutt
urni
ngar
ound.
“
When?
”Ist
opf
oll
owi
ng.
“Justgobackt
obedandf or
getIsai
danyt
hing
aboutthet
ermi
nat
ion.I
’
llbebackinaminut
e”
Itur
nbackandqui et
lygobacktobed.I’
m noteven
surehowIf eelr
[Link] hing
butatthesamet ime,Iwanttocryunti
lIfal
lasleep.
Ishouldn’thaveallowedMl ul
eki
tobethispar tof
myl i
[Link] ayedawayfrom him before
al
lthis.

*
***
***

Nqubeko
Ist
opt hecarandtakeadeepbr eat
hbeforegett
ing
[Link]
ick’
sdogapproachesandIr ai
seboth
handstoshowt hem I
’m notar
med.
“Mbonambi,
”saysSteveshowinghischi
ppedtooth.
Wefoughtandhegotaper manentmarkfrom i
t.I
don’
tknowabouthim butI
’m overt
hatnow.
“St
[Link]
ricki
swait
ingf
orme”Ili
ftmyjacketso
[Link]
bef
orehenodsmef or
ward.
“
Pleasedon’
ttoucht
hecar
.Justhast
hepai
nti
ng
r
edone”It
easeasthesecuri
tygat
[Link]
l
argedogsst
areatmelazil
yasIwalkpast
.
Der
ri
ckmeet
smeatt
hedoor
.
“
Nqubeko”henodsbef
oreweshakehands.
“Der
ri
ck”Iwalki
nandspotthediff
[Link]
ti
meIwasher ei
twasn’tt
[Link]
nowDerri
ckhasfoundhimselfadomest i
catedl
ady
wholovesdecor
ati
ngthehouse.
“
Adr
ink?
”heof
fer
s.
“
Notyet
”It
akeaseatandhef
oll
ows.
“Youdolooklikeyouar
ecarr
yi ngthewor
ldonyour
shoulder
[Link]
llgivi
ngyousleepl
ess
night
s?”Ipr
etendnottocar
et hatheisbr
inging
Thembekaintothis.
“Youknowaboutmysonbei
ngarunner
.Ineedhim
outofi
t”t
her
eisnoneedtogoar
oundtheissue.
“Ihear
dandIknowI’
llhel
pyoubuttherealquesti
on
i
swhat ’
sini
tforme?
”her ai
seshi
[Link]
ly,
Derri
ckhasmewherehecansqueezeanythingout
ofme.
“
Youcanhavet
het
ruck,
”Isaywi
thouthesi
tat
ion.
“Youmustbedesper
atetogi
veitupsoeasil
y,
”he
sayswi
thamockingtoneandIdon’tl
augh.
“Lindoi sonly16andIjustfoundhim soyesI’
m
desper ate”Irepl
yandtr
ynott oshowt heangerI
[Link]’
m doingforhim.
“Fi
ne,Iwantt
hatbast
ardgoneanywaysoit’
ssort
[Link]?”
heasksandIrel
[Link]
dparti
s
done.
“IneedJeromebackt owatchingThembeka.I’
l
l
needaf ewmor emenl ooki
ngoutfort
herestofthe
familyj
[Link]
seaboutit.I
don’twantthekidsbeingfr
eakedoutbyanythi
ng”
Henodsandget
supt
oref
il
lhi
sdr
ink.
“
[Link]
imewhataboutyourbaby
mama’sboyfr
iend?Webot
hknowhehasahandi n
t
his”
“Idon’
tcar
[Link]
llmakeyourjob
easier
”int
rut
h,I
’
mt ell
inghimt ogetr
idofhim butI
don’
twantt
obet
heonesayi
ngt
hewor
d.
“
[Link]?I’vebeenwait
ing
f
ort
hefinalr
esul
ts.I
sMlulekil
osi
nghistouch?
”
“Mlul
ekil
eftt
[Link]’tbr i
nghim back.
Hehasaf amilynowandIcan’tdisruptthat”Ican
seethesurpr
iseinderr
ick’
sfacewhenIsayMl ul
eki
i
saf amil
[Link] dthinkhewi llendup
j
ustbeingarichuncletohi
sstepsisters’
kidsand
nothavehisownf amil
y.
“SosomeonetamedMlul
eki
?Ioweheradiamond
neckl
ace”her
aiseshi
sgl
assandIl
augh.
“
Andhewillki
llyoufori
t ”[Link]
f
ami l
ymanbuthei ssti
llthesameMlulekiwhoki
ll
s
wit
hasmil
eonhi sf
acei ftheneedar
ri
ves.
“
Iguessaf
ami
lymanornothei
sst
il
lthesame
man”
“
Asover
prot
ect
iveasal
lofuswheni
tcomest
othe
f
ami
ly”
“
[Link]
’
lltakecar
eoftheli
tt
leprobl
em andhave
mymanont [Link]
atul
ati
onsont he
pr
egnancybyt
heway.I
tsui
tsThembeka”
“
Itcameont
her
ightt
ime”Ir
epl
ycal
mly.
“[Link]
[Link]
havereali
zedthatshecandoal
otbett
eryouknow”
heraiseshiseyebr
ows.
“Butshedi
dmesot
hat
’sal
lthatmat
ter
s”Ir
etur
na
cockysmil
e.
“
IguesssobutIwasgoi
ngafterheri
fyouhad
messedup”herai
seshi
shandswhenheseesmy
f
ace.
“
Don’tevengot
hatway,
Derr
[Link] hat
whenitcomest
oThembekaIdrawtheline”
“IknowandI ’mj [Link]
didthinkthatshedoesn’ tsuityoubutIhavet o
respectyouf orpulli
[Link] nt,
I
thoughtyouwoul dn’
t”Iguessnowt hatheownsmy
truckhethinkshecanf i
nallylayitt
hinkforme.
“
Idi
dandnowr
espectmyf
ami
ly”
“
Wil
ldobuthur
ryupwi t
[Link]
ttoo
l
ongsomeonemightbeatyout
oit
.Themanhas
enemi
esal
lover
”hewar
nsandInod.
“
LeaveSdumot
[Link]
heboyf
ri
end?
”
“Howaboutwecal lMlul
ekiandhavehi mjointhi
s
meeting,
”hesaysashepul [Link]
mymout htoarguebuti
t’
salreadyri
nginginthe
[Link]
ickhasMlulekionspeeddial
.
“
Derr
ick.I
tbet
terbegood”hesayssoundi
ngl
ikehe
i
sannoyed.
“I
[Link]
ngi
nter
est
ingf
oryou.I
haveNqubekoherewithme”
“
Mlul
eki
”Ispeak.
“Nqubeko”her
epl
iesandweal
lwai
tforDer
ri
ckt
o
speak.
“Thewor doutt herei sthatNothile’
sboyf
riend
call
edandt hreatenedyourni ecewhensher esi
sted
havinganabor ti
[Link] ecordsshowt hat
sher ecei
vedsever alcall
sfrom themanhi [Link]
theendshet ooaneasywayout .Nowwebot h
knowt hatshewoul dn’
thavedonei twit
houtal it
tl
e
pushf rom someoneandt hatsomeonei sfucking
Nqubeko’
sbabymama”
“Thanks,
Der
ri
ck,
”saysMl
ulekibef
oret
hel
inegoes
dead.
“Andnow?”Il
ookatDer
ri
ckwhoi
sgr
inni
ngl
ikea
catseei
ngacupofmil
k.
“Mlulekimightbeaf amilymanbuthei sstil
laki l
ler
[Link] sgoi
ngt okil
lthatmanandI ’
llframe
theleaderbeforeexposinghim.I fyouwant
somet hingdonetoperfecti
onj ustsendMluleki”he
rai
seshi sglassandIstareathi m.
Chapt
er105

Nqubeko
Itr
yMlulekifort hesecondti
meaf t
erhedi
dn’t
answermyf irstcall
.Thisti
meitr
ingsonceandhe
cancel
sthecal [Link]
o
cal
lPhil
isoIdi rectmycalltoPhi
liwhoanswers
i
mmedi atel
y.
“
Nqubeko”i
tsoundsl
ikeshei
snotsl
eepi
ng.
“
Hi,
sor
ryt
ocal
lthi
slat
e.I
’
mtr
yingt
ogethol
dof
Ml
ulekibuthei
snotpi
cki
ngup”
“Hejustt
ookagunandst or
medoutoft
hehouse
Nqubeko”nowIunderst
andwhysheisspeaki
ng
l
ikeshehasn’
tsl
epttoni
ght.
“
Dammi
t”Icur
seandgeti
nthecar
.
“What’
sgoi
ngonNqubeko?
”gr
eatnowI
’
vemade
herpani
caswel
l.
“Ineedyout ocallhi
[Link] mt ocomehome.
Hei spi
ssedof fbutheisabouttomakeami stake
outofangerPhi l
[Link]
easecallhim andbeghimt o
comehome”Ibegaswel lasIstartthecarbutthat
i
sn’tgoingtohelpmebecauseI ’
m mi l
esaway.
RightnowPhi l
i i
smybestshotatst oppingMlu
from makingthebiggestmistakeofhislif
e.
Shedoesn’tsayanythingbuttheli
negoesdeadand
Isayasi l
entprayert
hatshecallshi
m andhe
l
[Link]
hinkabouttryi
ngThembekabut
Thembekai sprobabl
ysleepingandacallfr
om me
[Link]’ twantanyofthat
happening.
It
ryVusi
nextandhet
akesf
orevert
oanswer
.He
wassl
eepi
ng.
“
Somet
hingwr
ong?
”heasks
“
Can’
taf
ri
end….
.”hecut
smeof
f.
“I
t’
sthemiddleoft
henightNqubekoandyou
haven’
tcal
[Link]
thi
t”
“I
’mi nCapeTownandIneedsomeonet ostop
Mlulekif
rom ki
ll
ingt
hatlowl
if
[Link]
ban?”
“Whatlowli
fe?”heaskssoundi
ngli
keheisget
ting
[Link]
akethatmeansheisinDurban.
Inarr
atethest
orythebestwayIcaninl
esst
hana
minuteandVusitel
lssomeonetodri
vehi
mtoKloof
.
“
Thanks,
Vusi
.Iappr
eci
atei
t”
“Sur
eandi fheshootsmeNqubekoI’l
lcomeback
t
ohauntyou”t heli
negoesdeadaft
[Link]
o
l
aughbutIdon’ t
.Iam pr
ayi
ngthathedoesn’
tfi
ght
Vusibecausethatwil
lmeansomethi
ngelse.
Itr
yThubanextbuthedoesn’tanswerIdon’tbot
her
[Link]
iandVusi
someonewinsinstoppingMlul
ekifr
om going
thr
oughallt
his.
*
***
***
**
Phi
li
“Iknowyouareangrybutki
ll
inghim won’
thel
pnow.
Pleasemylove”IbegasMlul
ekiremainsqui
etat
theendoftheli
[Link]
ving
becauseIaskedhimtostopbefor
ehegetsintoan
accident
.
“
Wehaveafamil
y.I
fyougot
ojai
lwhatwi
llhappen
t
ous?
”Iwipet
hetearsi
nmyeyes.
“Yeswelostachil
dduet othei
ractionsbutrat
her
l
etthelawdealwit
ht hem foreverythi
ngelseand
knowinghowlif
ewor ks,theywil
lprobablypiss
someoneelseoffi
npr isonandt heywillt
eachhima
l
[Link]’
tletthatbeyou.I ’
m beggingyou
mylove”Ibeg.
Iwaitamomentandt
henhebr
eat
[Link]
sst
il
l
her
ewi t
hme.
“Theypushedhert
osui
cidePhi
li
.Shewasjusta
chil
d”hi
svoiceisl
owandIthi
nkheiscr
ying.
“
Iknowbuti
t’
snotf
orust
opuni
sht
[Link]
someoneel
sedot
hat
”
“Andi
ftheylethim getawaywit
hit?
”heasksandI
getof
[Link] deawhattosaynowbutI
knowthatIdon’twanthimtogoaheadwi t
hthi
s.
“IfyouarepregnantPhil
iandwehaveagi r
land
thensomeonedoessomet hi
nglikethi
stoher
woul dyoustil
lfeel
thi
sway? ”heaskswhenIdon’
t
answerf astenough.
“Iwouldbehur
tbutIwoul
dn’
twantyoutogot oj
ail
forl
if
e”Itr
ymybestnottoi
magineCeli
wedeadby
herownhandsandsomeoneelse’
sinf
luence.
“Youar
egoingtotur
nmeint
oasof tmanPhil
iswa,
”
Ithi
nkIhearahi
ntofal
aughbutIcan’
tbesure.
“I
’
dr at
herhaveyousof
tathomet
hanhar
din
pri
son”
Ther
eissi
lenceont
heot
herendbef
oreheexhal
es.
“I
’m cominghome,”hesaysbeforeheendsthecal
l.
Ial
sot akeadeepbreat
hbef or
esitt
ingdownonthe
fl
oorandl eanagai
nstt
hefloor.
Ical
lNqubekonextandheanswer
sbef
orei
teven
r
ings.
“
And?
”heaskssoundi
ngl
ikehei
srunni
ng.
“
Hei
scomi
nghome”Ir
epl
y.
“Thankyou,Phil
[Link]
[Link]
he
mandeadbutnotbyMl ul
eki
’shand”heal so
soundsrel
ieved.
“
Hei
shear
tbr
okenNqubeko”
“IknowandI’
m pissedof ftoobutMl ulekii
snotthat
[Link]’ thavehi m dippi
ngi nandout
atsomeoneelse’
swi ll
.Derrickshouldn’thave
treat
edhi
ml i
keadogt hatyouonl yhavet osetof
f”
saysNqubekoexhalingloud.
“WhoisDer r
ickandwhydoeshehaveMl ulekion
hisspeeddialwhenitcomestokil
li
ngpeople?”I
askandNqubekodoesn’ tr
eplyr
[Link]
nkhe
wasn’texpecti
ngthi
squesti
on.
“It
hinkMlul
ekishoul
dbet
heoneexpl
aini
ngt
hist
o
you”herepl
ies.
“[Link],
”Iendthecallandputt
hephone
[Link]
lyandwaitf
orMl ul
ekit
oar
ri
[Link]
doessoafteralmostanhourandhei snotalone
j
udgingbythevoi cesIhearwhenhewalksin.I
shouldbegett
ingupandt ur ni
ngt
heli
ghtsonbutI
don’
[Link]
indmesi tt
inginadi
ml i
ght
passage.
Theycont inuetoar guebef or eVusisaysgoodni ght
andt henthedoorcl [Link] hecarstartsand
thendr i
veof fbeforeMl ul
eki whistlesdownst ai
rs.
Heappear sont hest ai
rsafteraf ewmi nutesand
stopswhenhef indsmesi [Link] orthe
l
ittl
elightbecauseIcanseehi sfaceandIseet he
plasteronhi [Link] icesmyeyesl ookingatit
.
“Hadtopuncht
hewallaft
erdeci
dingtocome
home”hesaysandthenwalkscl
[Link]
nothi
ngashesi
tsnexttome.
“Ift
hetestsaysI’
m pr
egnantI’l
lkeept [Link]
totrapyouortobecarel
essbutbecauseIt ake
responsi
bil
it
yformyactionsMl uleki
.Ineverpi
ckan
easywayout ”Isaywi
thoutlookingathim butIcan
feelhi
seyesonme.
“
Event
houghyouar
eheadi
ngsomewher
e,andyou
ar
eaboutt
obeext
remel
ybusy?
”heasksandInod.
“Icanmul t
it
ask.I
t’
shardbutI’vebeenr ai
singmy
kidssinceI’
[Link]’tfai
lonebabyj ust
becausesomet hi
ngelsehaspoopedup.I ’l
lmanage
justfi
ne”hedoesn’tr
eplyi
nsteadhet akesmyhand
tohis.
“Iwasr ej
ectedasachi l
dPhi l
[Link] e
supposedt olovemer ejectedmeandf rom timet o
ti
meIr emembert hepai nsoIt r
ybyal lmeanst o
neverhavet ofacet hatagai [Link] ayedchi l
dl ess
becausemyf earwasdyi ngandl eavi
ngachi l
dt hat
willhavet osufferinmyabsence”hechuckl esand
squeezesmyhand“ Itsoundssi l
lybutaf ter
wat chingThembekasuf ferfrom t heeffectsofher
childhoodandr emember ingmi neIgett hi
stight
feelinginmychest .Itrynott oacknowl edgef ear
becausei tcanbecr ippli
ngbutIcan’ tignoret his
[Link] nsidemet hereisacowar d”
I
t’
smyturntosqueezehi
[Link]
movecl
osertohi
m.
“
Somet
imesIdowakeupi
nthemi
ddl
eoft
heni
ght
andpraytoGodt hathegr antsmef ewmor eyear s
j
ustsoIdon’tleavemyki dsinthiswor l
dwi th
nothi
[Link]’tleavethem whiletheyar esti
ll
thi
[Link] ayeristhatatleastNtethelelo
tur
ns25becauseat25hecanbui ldashar kand
worksomeone'sgar denifthat’
swhatheneedst o
survi
[Link]’
smybi ggestfearandi fI
’
m pr egnantit
meansI ’
m addingmor eyearsinmypl eatoGod”
“Soyoudobeli
evei
nGodevent houghI
’venever
hear
dyoument i
onchur
ch?”heletsgoofmyhand
andli
ft
sitsohecanputi
taroundme.
“Idobeli
[Link]
ustdon’tgotochurch
becauseIwasjudgedinchurch.I’
dratherpray
behindcl
[Link]
[Link] hekids”Isuggest
andhelaughsabit.
“Youcantal
kmeoutofkil
li
ngamanPhil
ibutyou
can’tt
alkmeint
ogoingt
ochur
[Link]
her
teachmehowt opr
ay”
“[Link]
egoingt
opraytoget
herf
rom now
on”Ilookathi
m andhenodsbef
orehepull
sme
cl
oser
.
“Iheardt
hissongaf
ewdaysagoandthelyr
ics
stayedwit
[Link]
ngitforyou?”he
asks
“Youcansi
ng?
”yesI’vehear
dhim hum some
songsbutI
’
veneverheardhi
m si
ngaf ul
lsong.
“
YesIcansi
ng”hel
aughs
“
Pleasedo”Itr
ytogetof fhi
sar
m buthedoesn’
tlet
[Link]
nkhedoesn’twantmetolookathi
sface
[Link]
tsti
llandwai
t.
“
Ifoundl
ovei
nyou
AndI
'
vel
ear
nedt
olovemet
oo
NeverhaveIf
eltt
hatIcoul
dbeal
lthatyousee
It
'sl
ikeourhear
tshavei
nter
twi
nedi
ntot
heper
fect
harmony

Thi
siswhyIl
oveyou
Ooht
hisi
swhyIl
oveyou
Becauseyoul
oveme
Youl
oveme
Thi
siswhyIl
oveyou
Ooht
hisi
swhyIl
oveyou
Becauseyoul
oveme
Youl
oveme

If
oundl
ovei
nyou
Andnoot
herl
ovewi
lldo
Ever
ymomentt
hatyousmi
lechasesal
loft
hepai
n
away
For
everandawhi
lei
nmyhear
tiswher
eyou'
l
l
st
ay……..

*
***
**
Thembeka
I’
m upearl
ybecauseIdi
dn’
tsl
eepwell
.I’
m worr
ied
aboutNqubekoandI’
mfeel
ingal
oneeventhough
t
hehousei
sful
lofpeopl
e.
“AcupofteabeforeIgo,
”saysDabul aappear
ing
fr
om t
[Link]
readydressedforwork
andImustsayt heworki
ngli
feloveshim;helooks
l
ikeahandsomef amil
ymanevent houghheisjust
ayoungman.
“Thanks”Ist
ophuggingthecushi
onandlookatmy
[Link] ssedcal
lfr
om Nqubekoandit
’sst
il
l
earl
ybutIcan’trel
axaf
terwhathetol
dme.
Dabul
aret
urnsqui
ckl
ywiththeteaandheadded
somemuffi
nsonthetr
[Link] hungryaf
teral
l.
“
Thankyousomuch”Isi
tupandt
aket
hemuf
fi
n.
“HaveagooddayandI ’
llcal
lyoufr
om t
heoff
ice”
hegrabshisbagandIwaveathi m mymout
hf ul
lof
thechocol
atetast
ingt
reat.
Amandai st
hef i
[Link] eetsand
goestot hekit
chent ogethercupofhotwat er
befor
eshecomesbackt osi
[Link]
entl
ybefore
sheturnsont heTVandt hemor ni
ngnewsi son.I
expecthertochanget hechannelbutshesit
sback
andwat [Link]’ sdaughteraf
terall
.
Wewatchtheheadl
inesandIchokeonthet
ea
whenIseeNombuso’sphotoonthenews.
“
Pleaset
urnt
hevol
umeup”
Shedoest hatasthenewsr eaderexpl ai
nst hatone
l
adywasst r
uckbyast r
aybulletaftertherewasa
poli
ceshootoutagai nstagroupofment hatwere
suspect
edt ohavebeensmuggl ingdr ugsina
quantum i
nVr [Link] urthertoexpl ai
n
thatt
hevideooft heshootoutwaspost edon
Facebookandwar nsagainstsensitiveviewers.
Itakemyphoneandt rytodialhernumberbutI
don’trememberitt
hatwell
.ItryPhumeleleandI
don’trememberhersaswell
.It r
yNqubekobecause
hehiredthem soheshouldhavet hei
rcontact
detail
s.
“
Myl
ove”heanswer
s.
“
Nombusoisdead.I’
m wat
chingthenewsandshe
wasshoti
nashootouti
nVryheid”
“
What?”[Link]
dn’
twat
ch
t
henewsthismorni
ng.
“I
’m seei
ngi
[Link]
il
l
havehernumber
s?Maybeit
’sami st
ake”
“Idon’
thavehernumber
s.I
’
llcal
lyoubackj
ust
now”theli
negoesdead.
Itur
nmyat t
enti
onbackt otheTVst i
lli
ndisbel
ief
.
Shecan’
tbedead, yesIhat
edt hem f
ortreat
ingme
badbutIneverwishedthem death.
Nqubekodoesn’ tgetbackatmei nami nuteashe
promi [Link] lPhi liandshedoesn’ [Link] r
y
Prett
y’snumber .Wehaven’ ttalkedi nmont hsnow
butshewasf r
iendswi thNombusososhewoul d
knowsomet [Link] ingsf oralongt ime
beforet hecal lget scut .NowIhavenoonet ocall
andNqubekoi sn’tanswer i
nghi sphoneaswel l.I
checkt heinternetandt hevideoi strendingbutI
don’thavet hehear ttoseedeadpeopl eandbl ood
soIr eadt hecomment sandt ryt oreadthest [Link]
saysat axithatwast raveli
ngt oVr yheidwas
stoppedbyt hepol icedemandi ngtosear chitaf t
er
recei
vi ngat ip-offfrom someoneaboutt hedriver
beingadr ugpusher .Thedr i
verr efusedanda
groupofment hatwasi nsi
det het axiatthetime
al
sogotinvolvedandstart
edshoot
ingthepol
ice.
That’
showt hethi
nggotoutofcont
rolandthe
dri
verdi
edatt hescene.
Myphoner i
ngsandit
’snotNqubeko.I
t’
sDabul
aso
Ianswerqui
ckl
yjusti
ncasethereisaprobl
em.
“
Cuz”
“HeyCuz,Ij
[Link] [Link]
wasshotinVryhei
dlastni
[Link]
eisavideoof
him deadonthest
reet
”hesoundsshocked.
“
Sdumoi
sdead?
”
“
[Link]
ugdeal
er”
“
Adr
ugdeal
er!
?”
“That ’
swhatt [Link]
willtal
kwhenIgethome”hesaysbyeandendst he
call.I’
m notsurewhybutIhaveabadf eelingabout
Sdumobei ngadr [Link] uel
andheabusedmycousi nswi t
hhisfamilybutdoi ng
drugs?Thatsoundsof fsomewher [Link] extto
Nqubekoandhedoesn’ treplyatal
[Link]’twantt o
pani cjustyetbutI’
m wor r
iedbecausehet oldme
whyhei [Link]
ghtnowIdon’twantt
o
connectLi
ndotoSdumoanddr ugsandNqubeko
andhisCleaner
.
*
***
***
Nqubeko
“Whatthef
uckdi
dyoudo?”Iyel
latPr
ett
yasshe
cont
inuest
osobontheot
herend.
“Idi
dn’
tknowshewillcomet
oVryhei
[Link]
supposedtomeeti
nMel mot
handshedeci
dedto
comet oVr
yhi
ed”
“Anddi dn’tItellyoutolaylow?Howar eyougoi ng
toexpl ai
nherbei nginthattaxiwhenyouwer en’t
event here?Dammi t
,Pret
[Link] o
plantthoset hingsandgett hef uckoutandnot
i
nviteyourf ri
endst [Link]”Icurseandkickt he
empt ycokecanasi fit
’sthesourceofmypr oblems.
“
I’
m sor
ry”
“
Sorrywon’[Link]
erkeepyour
mouthshut.i
fyoubr eat
hethist
oanyoneI’
llseeto
i
tthatyoudon’tspeakeveragai
[Link] l
l
comet ogetyout hereandi fthepolicecomet oyou,
youstickt othest ory”Iendt hecallandl ookat
Thembeka’ st [Link] ocallherback
beforeshepani [Link] opretendtobe
heart
br okenaboutSdumoevent houghI ’
m [Link]
wasn’tsupposedt [Link] oget
caughtandgot oj ai
lfordrugsheknowsnot hi
ng
aboutsoIcanr ubi tonhisf aceeverydaywhi lehe
rotsi
nt [Link] sdeadandIgai nednot hi
ng
from i
[Link] t.
“
MaKhumal
o”Ir
etur
nThembeka’
scal
l.
“
Areyouokay?I
’
m wor
ri
ed”
“Youhavenothingtoworr
yabout.I
’mfi
nejustgot
ti
[Link] henewsandpleasedon’
twatchthat
video.I
t’
stoomuchmyl ove”
"[Link]
ustcan'
tbel
ievesheisgone"i
t
soundsl
ikesheisabouttost
artcryi
ng.
"I
'm cominghomeearlierthanexpect
ed,
"Isayi
t
quickl
ysoshedoesn'tf [Link]
i
nt hewrongplaceatthewr ongti
[Link]'
snotmy
fault
.
Chapt
er106

Nqubeko

Ididn’twantt odot hisbutThembekacoul dn’

tbe
tal
kedoutofi tsowear eallinUl undiwher ethe
sentencingofJosi ahi st akingpl [Link] s
beingl i
stenedi nf r
ontoft hel ocalchiefsince
Josiahcan’ tbesent encedi nj ailbecausei twasa
l
ongt i
meagoandt wopeopl ewhocoul dhel pare
gone, sot heyl eftever ythingt othechi [Link]
wascal ledt ospeakonhersi deoft hestoryand
theygaveheranopt iont osendavi deo,but
MaKhumal ocoul dn’tbet alkedoutofdr ivinghere
foraf ace-to-faceconf r
ontat i
[Link] sheavily
pregnantandever yonei shol dingt heirbreathas
shet akesaseatont hechai raf t
erst r
ugglingtosit
ont hegr assmat .Acr ossf r
om met hereisMl ul
eki,
whoi ssi tt
ingf orwar donhi schai rsohecanst op
mef r
om j umpi ngt oJosi ahandwr i
nginghi sneck.
Hekeepsl ookingatmeandt henbackatThembeka.
Philicoul dn’tcomebecausesheneededt o
compl etesomedet ai l
sf orherf ir
stt [Link]
haveopenedt hecent reinDannyDal t
onandshe
neededt obet her etomakesur ether eareno
glit
ches.S’ nqobi l
ecamewi t
hust houghandIdi dn’
t
wantt opr ess, butIknowshei sn’treadyt ofaceher
l
ifebackt [Link] aneededt ogosuppor tPhili
onourbehal fandt heyt ookt heki dswi t
hthem
becauseweal ldidn’ twantt oleavet hem
unsuper visedi nDur banevent houghAmandawas
sosur eshecanwat cht hehouse, butweal lknew
[Link] hil
e’sboyf riendwasgunneddowni na
robber ygonewr ongandIknowi twasDer rick’s
deal i
ngsbuti t
sCr aig’spr oblem nowandLi ndoi sin
hidingj ustunt ilthewhol ethingdi esdownandhe
alsodeci deswhatexact l
yhewant st odowi thhis
l
ifesi ncehewant stor ollwitht het [Link]
suspendedNot hileatwor kaf t
ert heyf oundoutshe
hasst ri
ngsofcompl aintsaboutherf rom
colleaguesandpat [Link] datl easttheydi dn’t
fi
reherandshehasachancet of ixherat t
itude.I
don’ tknowi fshewi lldot hatbuti t’
sherpr obl em
notmi ne.
Ishi
ftmyattenti
onbacktoThembeka,whoi
s
wipi
[Link]
ooksatmeandI
nodforhertoconti
nue.

“Myunclessol
dmet oNqubekoafterheof f
ered
them al
otofmoneyformyhandi nmarriage”she
saysandIhearpeopl
ewhispertoeachot her
,some
l
[Link]’
tcar
e,soIletthem l
ookand
j
udge.

“Iwas18, andhewasyear [Link]’tenough

forthem, Iwasvi olat
edandt heybenef i
[Link]
j
ustwant edmor eandmor e,andinr et
urnIwast he
onesuf f
er i
ng.I’vebeenscar edandwounded, but
mostofmywoundsar enowt ur
ningi nt
oscar s.I
havesuppor tandIam get t
ingtherapy,butthat’s
notmybi ggestconcer n.I
’m goi
ngt [Link]
Ifearisthatoutt hereinthisver
ysamecommuni ty
achi l
dcoul dgot hroughthesameabuseIwent
throughandshemi ghtnotbesol uckyt ohave
peopletohelpherheal .Shemi ghtnotbemar ried
offt
osomeonewhowi llactuall
ytreatherbett
erand
healherwoundsl i
keNqubekodi dtomi [Link]
communi t
yitourjobt oraisethekidsinasaf e
envi
ronment ,weowet hem asaf [Link]’ttell
meaboutt heschoolbecausesomet i
mest he
schooliswher ethevictimsgetmor eabused.
EveryoneknewIwasachi l
dandNqubekowasol d
enought obemyf ather,butnooneaskedanyt hing
[Link] ddobet t
[Link] orthe
ki
dsandpr otectt
hem. ”Shewi pest hetear
sand
l
[Link] nandshesmi l
es.

“DoIwantJosi ahtorotinj ai
l?Yes,buthecan’ t
becausethel awdoesn’ twor kli
[Link] k
withproofandwi t
houtpr [Link] f
thecommuni tystandsup, wecanal waysst op
thesethi
ngsf rom happeni [Link] otectour
kidsfr
om havi ngthef acethisli
kewedi dandi fwe
dowewi l
lfacef ewerchancesofsuchhappeni ng.I
f
aneighbourr apesyourchi lddon’tsweepi tunder
[Link] hereandt el
[Link]
he
communi tyandshowyourki dthatyouareont heir
[Link] safeandencouragetheyoutht o
talki
fsomeonei smakingthem feeluncomfort
able.
Don’tnegl
[Link] cti
mst [Link]
shouldprotectal
lchil
drenatal
lti
mes. ”Shefi
nishes.

TheChi efnodsandThembekasmi l
[Link]
nki t’
s
goingwel l
.Josi ahissit
ti
ngt herelooki
ngl i
kehe
wishest hegr oundcouldopenupandbur yhi m.I
wisht hesame, butIcan’
ttouchhi [Link]
drugsagai nstSdumoi sst
illopenandbyt helookof
thingsIneedPr ett
ytoremai nthepoorgi rl
fr
iend
whol ostal overandNombusot obeani nnocent
victi
[Link] smef orthewhol e
drugcasebutshehasnopr oofandunt ilshef orces
thetruthoutofmeI ’dneveradmi tit
.

“Somycousi nhasopenedasaf epl

aceforallgi
rl
s
andboysiftheyfeelt
heyarenotbei
ngpr ot
ectedat
[Link], sheisinDannyDalt
on,butthe
cent
rewil
lreachallcorner
softheDist
ri
[Link]
evensendt hem apl
easecal lmeandt heywi llcome
i
mmedi atel
[Link] ovidedandwear e
planningtodoamazi ngt hings, butIdon’twantt o
getcar r
iedawayaboutt hat .NextweekPhi liandher
team willcomeseet hecommuni tyandt ellyou
everythi
ngt heywil
lbeof fering.”Shefinishesand
someonei sbraveenought ocl [Link]
Ml ul
ekialsostandsup, It
hinkhet hi
nksI ’m aboutto
j
umpJosi ah.

Whent hecl appi

ngst ops,Thembekal ooksatthe
Chiefandsayst hatshewi shesthatJosi
ah’s
punishmentcanbeal essont oallt
heabusersout
[Link] m nottof eelsorr
yforhi
m atall
ashef eltnothi
ngforherwhenshewasj ustachild
tryi
ngt ohaveagoodt imewi thallt
heotherki
ds.

Mostmennodi nagreementandIseemyf at
her
alsonoddi
[Link]
hinkthef
amilyt
ieswil
lneverbe
repai
[Link]
snolossonmysi de.I
fInever
seethefamil
y,I
’
llbefi
ne.
ThembekaaskstobeexcusedbeforetheChief
coul
dspeak,andHeal l
owsher
.Iwalkherbackt o
thecarwi
thMlulekif
oll
owi
ngseveralstepsbehi
nd
us.

“Youwer
eamazing.I
’
m sopr
oudofyou,
”Ipl
acemy
handonherl
owerback.

“ThanksMbonambi,
butnowIcoul
ddowi
thsome
[Link]
hinkI
’
mti
red.”

Wehadalatenightl
astni
ght,
andshewasupear
ly
t
hismor
ning,soIunderst
and.

“I
’
mt aki
ngherhome”It
ellMl
uleki
bef
oreget
ti
ng
Thembekai
nthecar.

“
Nopr
obl
em.I
’
m goi
ngt
owai
ther
efort
heul
ti
mat
e
wor
d.”her
epl
iesandInodasIwal
ktomysi
de.

*
***
**

Ml
uleki

IwatchNqubeko’ scarast heydr i

[Link]
i
sspeaki ng,butIdon’[Link] lt
o
Phil
[Link] herewithherbutshewant ed
met ocomeher eandbabysi tNqubekobecause
theyfearNqubekomi ghtmur derhisownuncl
eout
[Link]’
tfearthat;Ifearedmemur der
ing
him myselfwhenal lt
hisisover .

“
Myl
ove”Sheanswer
s.

“
Areyouguysdone?
”Il
eanagainstmycar
,myeyes
f
ocusedonJosi
ahashelooksdown.
“Al
[Link]
ng.
”Shesounds
cheer
fulandIsmil
e.

“
Sopeopl
ecamei
nnumber
s?”

“Andtheywanttobeinvol
ved,Mluleki
.Weare
alr
eadysigni
[Link]
’sgoingtobegreat
.”I
hearpeoplet
alki
ngar
oundherandi ssoundl
ike
ther
eischeeri
ngaswell.

“That’
samazi ng,myl [Link] eaboutt
obe
busiert
hanbef ore?”webar elyhadagoodFest i
ve
seasonbecauset hel adi
eswer ealwaysbusywith
thi
sandt hatandof feri
ngtohelpthem wasn’t
welcomeasPhi l
igrewevenmor eworri
edaboutus
messingtheirwor ki
ngsyst [Link],i
twas
j
ustusandt heki ds.

“Yes,butyouknowt
hatIal
waysmaket
imef
or
everyt
hing.
”
“Yes, Iknow, baby.I sNonj abulother e?”the
quest ionistocheckt hatSazi soisn’tsmi li
ng
broadl [Link] dameet i
ngand
discussedawayf orwar dafterhisfami l
yconf essed
l
yingaboutt hepr egnancyandmaki ngPhi liraise
thekidal [Link] sionwast hatweshar ethe
[Link] l
,i
twasNqubeko’ sdecisionr eally, because
Iwasr eadytot ellthem t of [Link] ver ymuch
capabl eoflovingt heki dsasmyownwi thout
Sazisobei ngt hepar entt oo,butintheendNqubeko
saiditwasn’ taboutmyf eelingbutt heboy’ [Link]
wear eal lparentingandt ryi
ngnott oout doeach
[Link] nesur prisewasNonj abul [Link]
didn’tshowanyr esent mentt owardsPhi liandsof ar
sheseemst olovet heki [Link] actt hatt hey
can’thavet heirownki dmakesherl ovet heki ds
becausesheevenl ovesCel [Link] dsont he
otherhand, theyseem pr ett
yhappyt ohavevi sit
s
andbei ngspoiltinal langl [Link] ldot hespoi l
ing,
butNqubekoi sfarwor seandIt hinkhei s
compensat i
ngt hatt heseki dssuf f
eredbef orethey
movedinwi
[Link]’ tundothepastso
heist
ryi
ngt
omaket hepresentcomfor
tabl
etoa
poi
ntt
hatweallf
eart heymightgrowupthi
nking
l
if
eisonebi
gfantasy.

“Yes,
[Link],
[Link]
togobacktoDur banforsomeoffi
ceemergency.
”
Sheexpl
ains.

“That
’[Link]
eus,sowewi
ll
seeyouguysl at
[Link]
chthecel
ebr
ation.
”

“That’
sgreatbecauseIwasthi
nki
ngwecanhave
dinner
,Justustocelebr
atet
hesuccess.
”Someone
call
sher.

“
Yes,
andI
’
llt
akecar
eofi
t”

“
Thanksmyl
ove,
seeyousoon.
”Sheendst
hecal
l
andIsmi l
etomysel [Link] he
pregnancyscar et
urnedouttobear ealscar
[Link]
weren’treadyf orababyandIwantust oget
mar r
iedfirstbefor
eIf ocusonlear
ningtochangi
ng
di
aper s.

IputthephoneawaywhenIhearpeopl
emakethe
[Link]
oheartheChi
efcl
ear
lywhenhe
decidesontheissue.

Hei stal
kingabouthowJosi ahhassonsandal arge
familysot heycan’ttakeawayt heirli
vestockand
banishthef amilyintheareasoi nsteadJosiahwi l
l
havet ol
eavewi t
hhi swif
eandl eavehi sfamil
y
behindbecausesonsshoul dn’tbepuni shedforhis
cri
[Link] ei
ssomecheer ing,butmostmendon’ t
l
ookhappywi t
ht hisdeci
[Link] eli
keme;t hey
wishwecoul dkillJosi
ahont hespot ,butwecan’ t
.
atleastnotont hespotwher eever yoneis
watching…….
Tobecont
inued
Fi
nalChapt
er.

Thembeka.

Igetal
it
tl
efri
ght
enedwhenIopenmyeyesand
fi
ndNqubeko'
smot herl
ooki
ngatmewi t
hafr
own
onherf
[Link]
oreshel
aughs.
"
Iwasjustchecki
[Link]'
vebeensl
eepi
ng
f
orhoursalr
eady,
"shesmil
esandhermovescl
oser
.
[Link]
ighti
sonsoit
'sni
ghtt
ime
andI'
m st
arvi
ngbutIneedtopeef
ir
st.
"Iwastir
[Link]
ecanbeexhaust ing.I
sPhi
li
back?"Ipul
lthebl
anketbackandt hecoldgr
eets
me.I'
m sowar mintheseblanket
s.
"Theyar
[Link]
seint
he
kit
chen,
"shelaughsandshakesherhead.
"I
[Link]
ssed
dinner
."Thebabyki
ckshar
dthemovementeven
showonmypyj
amaandIf
indNqubeko'
smot
her
l
ooki
ngati
taswel
l.
"Yesyoudi
dbutwesavedsomef oryou."Shesays
kindl
yandIfi
ndmyselfsmili
ng.I'vealwaysloved
Nqubeko'
smot her
.Shenevertreatedmebadeven
whenIwasjustakidmarri
edt ohersonshewas
alwayssoki
nd.
"[Link]
st,
"Igetofft
hebedand
shedoesn'ti
ndicat
ethatsheisleavi
ngsograba
bucketandpeei nherpr
esence.
"Nqubekoment i
onedt hatyouar eafrai
dofgivi
ng
birt
h,"sheisnotaskingandIf indthetopic
surprisi
ngandIhighlydoubtt hatshehas
discoveredamiracleformet ohavet hisbaby
withouthavingi
tcomeoutt here.
"Yesbuthepr omisedmer eal
lyst
rongpai
nkil
ler
s"I
wai tfort
hepeetof i
nishsl
owlycomingout
.Thisis
startingt
obeawkwar dandIdon'
tgetwhythebaby
thinksblocki
ngthepeepassageisagoodthing.I
reallyneedtofi
nishtoday.
"
Andhehasabagf
ullofal
lpai
nki
ll
ershecoul
dfi
nd
butthat
'snotimport
ant.
"Shereachesfort
hegl
ass
onthepedestalandgrabsajugofwater.
"
What
'si
mpor
tant
?"
Shesmi l
esandst art
spour i
ngthewat eronthe
glassandt henpour [Link]
thisrepeatedl
yunt i
lIfeelmyownbodi l
yfl
uidexi
t
[Link]’m donesheput stheglassdownand
l
[Link] hi
schancet owipeandget
[Link] eal
lydoneedi nsi
detoi
letsinthi
s
place.
"What '
simpor t
antisthepersonyougettomeet
[Link] heyarri
vethepai
nwill
[Link] ti
ngcanbescar ybutyou'
vegone
throughthewor stThembekaandyouar esti
ll
[Link]
met hepai
nisgoingtobr
ing
youj oyintheend."[Link]
andsi tdownont hebed.
"Whati
fthebabyist
oobi
gandi tcan'tcomeout
?"I
knowtheywil
lcutmeandthatonit'
sownscares
measwel l
.
"
Ift
hebabywast
oobi
gtobebor
nnat
ural
lyt
hey
[Link]
suggest
edanoper at
[Link] hebabywil
l
comeoutjustfi
[Link] usthavet
ogot hrought
his
pai
nandt henyougettomeethi m orher.
"Hervoi
ce
soundsreal
lyproud.
"
Ican'
twai
ttomeether.I
t'
sagirlIcanfeeli
t.
"we
want
edasurpr
isebutIcantel
lit
'sashe.
"MetooandIwasstar
ti
ngtowor ryt
hatyouar
e
almostover
[Link]
ingthenewsl
ast
week."
"Thedoct orsai
dit'
ssti
llf
ine."Wedidgoseehim
afterhisdatespassedandt hebabyisn'
ther
eyet.
Nott hatIwasreall
[Link]
ti
redIt r
yt oenj
oythefeel
ing.
"Anditisbutyouhavet obereadyf orhert
oarr
ive.
Don'tgetmewr ongI’
m notaccusi ngyouof
purposelydel
ayingt
hebi r
thoft [Link]
e
j
ustscar edandIthi
nkshei salsoscaredand
waiti
ngonyout ober eadyforher."
Itt
akesmeamomenttogr
aspwhatshei
ssaying
becauseI
’
m st
il
lst
uckonmenotbei
ngaccusedof
del
ayi
ngthebi
rt
[Link] Isupposedt
opusht
hebaby
bef
oreti
me?
"Youandthebabyareconnect
edandwhatyoufear
sheprobabl
ysensesandshecoul
dbewaiti
ngon
youtosay'Comebaby,I
'mreadyt
omeetyou'just
l
ookbeyondt hel
aborward.
"
"Youthi
nkIcant el
lthebabytocomeoutnow? "She
hashadkidsbeforesoshemustknowwhatshei s
tal
kingabouteventhoughnoneofthepregnancy
magazineshavesaidsomet hi
ngli
kethi
s.
"Nottellbutall
owt
hefeel
[Link]
eady
onthei nsideandt
hatwil
ltel
lthebabythatyouar
e
ready."
"
Nott
odayt
[Link]
artt
omor
row.
"
Shel
aughsandhol
dsmyhandt
oher
s.
"Wheneveryouar er
eady, Ialsocan'
twaittomeet
her
.Iwasst arti
ngtof earthatI'l
ldi
ebeforeseeing
Nqubeko'[Link] nswerearealsurprise
andIlovethem butI'dliketochangeadi apertoo."
"
I’
mreadyt
omeetheraswel
lbutIneedsomef
ood
fi
rst
,”Ismi
leandgetup.“
Comelet
’sgetyoufed”
shegetsupandwebot hheadt
othekit
chen.

*
****
****
****
***
Nqubeko
Josi
ah’sgetsint
hecarandsl am thedoorshut
.He
i
salone;Iexpect
edoneofhi ski
dst obewithhi
m
burIguesstheythoughtot
herwise.
“Canwego? ”hebarksandInodwi thoutraisi
ngmy
[Link]
earlyJosi
ahwasneversmar tbecausei fhe
washewoul dhavenoticedthatI
’m wearingacap
andthatI’
m weari
ngglovesandt heobviousact ion
i
smenotl [Link] tknowst hat
youlookatthedri
verbeforegett
inginthecar
especi
all
yifyouarerunningawaylikehei sdoing.
Istar
tthecaranddr i
[Link]
sdark,there
arenostreet
slight
sandt hehousearefarfr
om t he
roadsoit’
[Link]
veforover15minutes
befor
eseeingMl ul
eki’
scaront hesi
deofther oad.
“
Whoi
sthat
?”heaskswhenheseesmesl
owdown.
“Myfriend”Itur
ntheli
ghtsonandtur
ntolookat
[Link] sshockedbutunabl
etodoanythi
ng.
PeoplelikeJosi
aharecowardsbynatur
esoI’
m not
surpr
ised.
“Nqubeko”t
hat
’sal
lhemanagest
osayandIf
lasha
smil
e.
“Sur
elyyoudidn’
tthi
nkyouwil
lgetawaywithitso
easi
ly”Iundomyseatbel
[Link]
uleki
appr
oachesthecarwithapet
rolcan.
“Getout,
”Iknockonthewi ndowwhenhegr abshi
s
[Link] i
nuestosearcht
he
[Link]
thepuzzl
edlookonhi [Link]
l
outhisbagbeforewavingitonthewindow.
“Yesweswi tchedthebagsear l
ier
.Yoursonshoul
d
real
lybuyast rongerdoorandsomebur gl
ary
guards;t
heywon’ tkeepamast erawaybutcan
makehi m sweatal i
tt
le.I
ttookhimtwomi nut
esto
breakinandcostmeaR100. ”Mlul
ekismil
esand
start
spouringthepetrolontothecar.
“
Youar
enotf
orcedt
ogetoutbutI
’
lll
ightt
hiscarup
sothi
nkverycaref
ull
yaboutyournextmove”he
warnsashetakesoutacigaret
teandthel
ight
er.
Josi
ahgetsoutfastandatt
emptstorunbuthetr
ips
andfal
lfl
ati
nthemi ddl
eoftheroad.
Imovequi
ckl
yandpul
lhi
m up.
“Don’
[Link]
ast
thi
ngIwanttodoi
stoshootyouri
ghtherer
ight
now,”Iwar
nandpushhi
m backnearthecar
.
Mlul
ekili
ght
shiscigar
ett
eandmovesawaybef or
e
hesetsusallal
ight
.Il
ovetheconfi
dencebutIhave
apregnantwomanathomesoI ’m noti
ntor
isky
act
s.
“
Mustyousmokenearpet
rol
?”compl
ainsJosi
ah.
“
What
?Youar
eaf
rai
dofal
it
tl
esmoke,
”het
eases.
Josi
ahdoesn’
trepl
yandMl
uleki
cont
inuest
o
smoke.
“Nqubeko,theChi
efal
readybanishedmeinthe
area.I’
m walki
ngawayalr
eady,
”hesoundsreall
y
arrogantf
orsomeonewithli
mitedchoi
ces.
“
Andyout
hinkt
hat
’sf
ine?Whataboutt
hechi
ldyou
vi
olat
ed?Yourapedmywi f
eJosi
ahandoff
ered
cowsfori
t,
”Ir
emi ndhi
m andheremai
nsqui
et.
“I
twasal ongti
meagoNqubeko.I’
vepaidforitand
Thembekai sf
[Link]
etmegoandIpromiset o
nevershowmyf acearound.
”HebegsandMl uleki
l
aughs.
“Becauseit
’sthateasy?GivemethegunNqubeko.
”
saysMl ul
ekiwalki
ngclosertous.
Josi
ahmakesasoundandt ri
[Link]
scar
edofMluleki
.TobehonestIal
sof
earforhi
m
agai
nstMl
uleki.
“
Givemet
hegunNqubeko”hedemandsagai
n.
“Wewanthi
mt opayMl uleki
.Wecanl i
nkhi mto
Sdumoandhavehimr otinjai
lforsomethinghe
knowsnot
hingabout.I
fweki l
lhim hewil
ldie,t
hat
’s
easyandwedon’twantthat”It
rytoconvincehim.
“
Thenhur
rybecausehei
spi
ssi
ngmeof
fbi
gti
me”
Imoveawayfr
om Josi
ah’
ssi
deandpul
loutt
hebag
i
nMluleki
’
scar
.
“
Pleasedon’
tdoanyt
hingst
upi
d,Icanbr
eakyour
neckwi t
hmyhandsandever ythingyouat temptwil
l
pushmet odoingjustthat
”saysMl ul
ekiinacol d
[Link]’tevenstopwhatI’m doi
[Link]’ vebeen
standingherefortoolongalr
[Link] ar
from anyhousebutpeopl ecanseel i
ghtsont he
road.
“I
’m sur
ewecantal
kandcomei ntosomesor
tofan
agreement
.Pl
easeboys”begsJosiah.
“
Pleaser
emai
nqui
etbef
oreyoupi
ssmeof
f”war
ns
Mlul
eki
.
“Sheisali
ve,[Link] sgoi
ngtomakeagr eat
mot her
.Shouldn’
tyoucelebratet
hatandlett
his
pooroldmanl eave?Please”hesoundsli
keheis
goingtostar
tcrying.
“Didyouthinkaboutt
hatwhenyoupushedher
down? ”asksMlul
ekihi
svoi
cesoundi
ngevencolder
thanbefore.
“
[Link]’tt
hinki
ngcl
ear
ly.I
twasal
ong
t
imeago”saysJosiah.
“Herscr
eamsdidn’
tsoberyouup?
”asksMluleki
.I
holdmybreat
handhopeJosiahdoesn’
tanswer
hi
[Link]
ost
opt
alki
ng.
“Iwasn’tthinkingstr
[Link]
mi st
akeand…. ”Irai
semyheadj ustinti
metoseea
bladeinMl uleki’
shandandt henseeJosiah’
shand
fl
yt [Link] eisshockinJosiah’
sfacebut
i
t’sonlybriefbeforehef al
ls.
“Andyoucouldn’
twai
tformet
ofi
nish?
”Iask
droppi
ngthephoneonmyhand.
Hdoesn’
trepl
yandhi
sphonest
art
sri
ngi
ng.
“I
t’
sPhil
i,
IthinkThembekaisi
nlabour”hesaysas
heanswersthecall
.Iwai
tforhi
mt oconfi
rm.
“
Wewi l
lbet
her
enow,
”her
epl
iesandt
hatconf
ir
ms
i
tforme.
Webothquickl
yputJosi
ah’sbodyint
hecaral
ong
wi
thhisbagsandthedrugssincet
heplannow
di
dn’
twork.
“Al
lhardwor
kfornot
hing”Icompl
ainandhesays
not
hing.
It
’samazinghowwedon’tsayi
toutl
oudbutweare
boththi
nkingt
hesamethingaswesetJosi
ah’
scar
al
ightandwatchasthefi
ret
akebefor
ewebot
h
dr
iveawayleavi
ngitbur
nbehindus.
“Wehavekids,
wecan’thaveabuser
sroami
ngt
he
str
eet
s”saysMlul
ekiqui
etl
y.
Inodi
nagr
eement
.
“
Youst
il
lhavet
hatkni
fe”
Henodsandsaysnothi
[Link]
ckwasr
ight
,
Mlul
ekiwi
llal
waysbeakil
lerl
ikeme.

*
****
****
*
Thembeka
Ikeepexpectingthi
sexcruciatingpaininmylower
bodybutsof arIonlyfeelpressure.I
t’
sliket
her
eis
somet hi
ngpushingbelowmyst omachandeach
ti
mei tdoesIjustkeepbreathingbracingmysel
ffor
therealpai
nthatI’mtoldit’
scomi ng.
“
Sti
llokay?
”askst
henur
sel
ooki
ngatme.
“
YesI
’
m okay.I
’
m nott
her
eyet
”Ismi
leather
.
“
That
’sgood.I
’
llbebackj
ustnow”shesmi
lesand
l
eave.
IturntoPhi
liandsheisbit
inghernai
[Link]
s
nervousandIdon’tl
ikeseei
nganervousPhil
i.
“[Link]
am st
illwai
ti
ngf ort
hereall
aborpai
ns”It
ellherand
shestopsbit
inghernail
sandlooksatme.
“Sor
ry,
areyouf
eel
inganyt
hingyet
?”shet
akesmy
handtoher
s.
“St
il
lpressur
eeverynowandt
henbutnot
hingel
se”
Isqueezeherhand.
“
WhatdidNqubeko’
smot
hersay?
”shegi
vesme
t
hiscur
iousl
ook.
“ShesaidIneedt ostopworr
yingaboutt hepai
n
andf ocusonmeet i
ngmydaught [Link]
n
willbenothingcomparedtothejoyI’
llgetwhenI
meetmybabysoher eIam”hertal
khel pedeven
thoughatt heti
meIthoughtshewasaccusi ngme
ofdelayingthebir
thonpurpose.
“Thembeka”IhearNqubeko’
svoicebeforethe
curt
[Link]
ekiisfoll
owi
ng
hi
m andhesmi
[Link]
eastt
heydidn’tf
ind
menakedli
ket
hatl
adyIsawinthepassage.
“
Menar enotal
lowedi
ngent
lemen”sayst
henur
se
wal
kingin.
“
I’
m st
ayi
ng.I
’
mthehusband”pr
otest
sNqubeko.
“Weareleavi
ng”saysMl
ulekit
akingPhil
i’
shand
“Youwil
lbegreat
”headdsbeforeheleansoverand
[Link]
sli
kefir
ebuthesmokesa
l
otsometimes.
“Thanks”Ismil
eatt
hem andthenlookatt
he
stubbornnextt
ome.“Youarenotseeingt
hebaby
comesout ”
“ButI’
m notleavi
ngyoualone”hi
sf acei
ssetsoI
holdhishandandl ookatthenur
sewi t
han
apologet
[Link].
*
****
****
*
Threehourslat
erIfeel
diff
erentasIstareatthe
babyinmyar [Link] s
standi
ngnexttomehi shandsst r
etchedtowards
myar [Link]’tdrop
her,
sheistoosmallt
odr
opandIj
ustwantt
ost
are
atherl
iket
hisfor
ever
.
Therei
spainbutnotexcr uci
ati
ngli
keIthought
.It
’s
j
ustpainafterrecei
vingasti
tchdowntherebut
beyondthatIfeelfi
ne.
“
Shel
ooksl
ikeyou”saysNqubekoqui
etl
y.
Ican’ttel
lyet
,shei
sjustasmallbabywrappedi
na
blanketandsheopenedhereyestwicesi
nceshe
arri
ved.
“
Ihopesheisstr
ongasyou”It
ellNqubekoandhe
l
eansovert
okissmyli
ps.
“Sheisgoi
ngt
obest
rongasyou”hi
shandt
ouches
hercheek.
“Mum andDadwedoneedaname,wecan’
tcallher
SheandHer”sayst
henur
sel
ooki
[Link]
otall
y
for
gotaboutt
henur
sebei
ngher
ewithus.
“
Hernamei
sMagi
c”Ir
epl
y.
“Why?”asksNqubekof
ail
ingt
ohi
det
hesur
pri
sei
n
hist
one.
“
Becauseshei
sper
fectevent
houghshecame
fr
om me, asbr
okenasIam Isti
llgavebir
thto
someonesoper f
ect
.Shehealedmewi thoutsayi
ng
anyt
[Link] smy
Magic”
Iexpectanar
gumentf
rom Nqubekobuti
tdoesn’
t
come.
“
SheisourMagict
hen”hesaysandIseethenur
se
l
ooki
ngatusli
kewearecrazybef
oreshesmil
es.