emotional

codependency
THE ART OF FUCKING YOUR LIFE
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
Starter Activity: Reflect and honestly answer the
following questions;
1) What does the word Codependency mean to you?
2) Have you had any personal experience of
Codependency ? Explain it
3) What were the results of that Codependency
experience?
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
Codependency is a dependence on others; of
their moods, their behavior, their illness or well-
being and their love. In Codependency it seems
that others, family members, partners, boyfriends,
or friends, depend on the codependent (addict),
but in reality, both depend on each other.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
It is a psychological or mental
illness , which is distinguished by
needing other people and by the lack
of self-identity.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
The Codependent loses the
connection with those he feels, needs
or desires.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
Seeks acceptance from others,
believes that his value as a person
depends on the opinions of others,
gives more importance to others than
himself
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
same.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
A false self is created, since it is not
aware of who it is. They want to have
control of the thoughts, feelings and
actions of others and when they cannot,
they feel bad and reach depression or
neurosis.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL

The Codependent seems strong but

in reality he feels helpless.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
They look like controllers but in reality
they are controlled by themselves and
their dependencies.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
Take things personally. He is
interested in others seeing him
favorably.
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
Codependency appears to be love, but it is
selfishness, mutual destruction, fear,
control, a conditioned relationship: "I love
you if you change"; "If you don't do what I
say, I will recriminate you, I will persecute
you, I feel like your victim."
CODEPENDENCY
EMOTIONAL
In codependency there is a lot of
manipulation. It is an uncontrolled
relationship: let's do everything to
make that person accommodate me.
What elements influence
in Codependency?

Based on the above and your

experience, write your own definition
of Codependency:
What elements influence
in Codependency?

Instruction: Based on your

experience and analysis of the above,
write some elements that intervene in
codependency.
What elements influence
in Codependency?

There are several essential elements in the

Codependency:
1) Active Codependent ; the one who applies an
action to the other: VICTIMARY.
2) Passive Codependent ; the one who receives an
action from the other: VICTIM.
3) Dependency : The person needs a substance or
What elements influence
in Codependency?

person.
What elements influence
in Codependency?

4) Codependency : It is the need to maintain a type of

control over another person.
5) Addiction : It is the need for some substance or
person. A Tolerance and Abstinence is created.
6) Love : In Codependency it is believed to act out of
love but in reality it is control or manipulation.
What elements influence
in Codependency?

7) Problems : The codependent person tries to

solve the problems of others.
8) Control : The active codependent exerts his
power to try to control the other person.
9) Inability to act or change : The passive
codependent is unable to change.
What elements influence
in Codependency?

10) Physical Abuse : Sometimes the Active

Codepient uses force to subdue the other.
11) Emotional Abuse : One or the other uses
emotional abuse with gestures or words.
12) Suffering : Both parties feel bad or hurt by not
achieving their personal goals.
What elements influence
in Codependency?

13) Feeling of Guilt : The passive

codependent carries the guilt of not being able
to change.
14) Rescue or Helper . He tries to be there for
others and gets into other people's problems.
What elements influence
in Codependency?

Answer: What elements of Codependency did

you identify with?
How could we classify

to the people
the couple :
live with a person, one of them Al
try to maintain control over the other,
by any means, trying to do what she wants,
without considering what the other person thinks,
feels or wants. One of the two is more
aggressive and the roles are divided: Victim and
Victimizer. Strong and weak
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

Boyfriend and Girlfriend : At this stage, one of the two

dominates the relationship, and according to their personal
history, they will fight for power or control in the couple. As
time passes, control mechanisms are used, through
blackmail, physical or psychological violence. You have to be
careful if he or she tries to control the way you dress and
prohibit contact with your friends. And especially if jealousy
or some type of violence is used.
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

Did your relationship have or do they have any

of the above characteristics?
How could we classify

to the people
Wife and Husband : Many times they do not know each
other

to the couple in their courtship, however when they get

married the masks fall and they begin to

know each other as they are. Usually the man is the one
who controls the relationship and who threatens and
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?
humiliates the woman, and the woman is the weak
person, who suffers and accepts physical and
psychological abuse. Or, there were constant fights to
see who dominated in the relationship.
How could we classify

Does your marriage have any of the above

characteristics?
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?
to the people
b) Codependency t hac ?
ia the
relatives : In this part the parents or
Children seek various means to selfishly achieve
their own well-being without caring about the
well-being of others. They may use blackmail,
financial pressure, physical abuse or
psychological.
How could we classify

What did you inherit from your mother in

relation to Codependency?
As a mother, what are you practicing with your
children?
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?
to the people
Father and Son: The father can ?
abuser of children. And he be overprotective or
deposits his well-being to
letting their actions and feelings of protection or abuse fall on
the shoulders of their children. Almost always, the father is
the strong part of the codependent relationship, he is the one
who imposes himself, the one who does not listen, the one
who physically or psychologically abuses. The father is the
one who had the last word and said that it was done at home,
in addition to not showing his affection
How could we classify

for the children.

How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

What did you inherit from your father in relation to

Codependency?
As a parent, what are you practicing with your
children?
How could we classify

to the people
Brother and Sister : Between herm 2
years a bond is created
Codependency when, apparently, the older or stronger siblings try to
solve or direct the lives of the other siblings. The brothers divide the
roles
to be the superhero, the villain or the saved one. Each person can
play a role that makes them believe that what they do is right, and
justifies their actions, feelings, and way of thinking. The most serious
thing is indifference or ignoring others, showing selfishness and
seeking the well-being of oneself without regard to the well-being of
others, but this failure comes from the relationship of the parents.
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

What did you inherit from your siblings in relation to

Codependency?
As a brother, what are you practicing with your
brothers?
How could we classify
to the people

Codependency towards friends : Among friends, the

influence of codependency is less, however, it also occurs
when one of the two tries to impose themselves and tell
the other what to do, say or how to behave. One of the
two, despite being peers, fights to live the life of the other,
and if what he or she wants is not done, blackmail begins
through anger or emotional manipulation.
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

What did you inherit from your friends in relation to

Codependency?
As a friend, what are you practicing with your friends?
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

Codependency towards the sick or addicted :

Some of our family members or friends may be
physically ill or suffer from an addiction to alcohol,
tobacco or drugs, and the people who live with them
try to alleviate their pain and try to help them get out of
it. your illness or addiction.
How could we classify
to the people
codependent? trap you need
However, many times it is the
the codependent to do good, apparently, and tries to control or
tell him what to do or how to take care of himself, but in the long
run he realizes that it is not in his hands to be able to help him
directly, he can help him
indirectly and with a certain maturity, but is incapable of helping
the sick or addicted. What happens to the codependent when
the patient dies? What happens to the codependent when the
addict is in recovery or has completely lost himself?
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

What has been your experience in relation to caring

for a sick person and codependency?
What has been your experience in relation to caring
for an addict and codependency?
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

Does codependency originate in dysfunctional families

where the rules of coexistence are very rigid or very
lax (few or absence of rules). In addition to living with
codependent people (Addictions).
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

Homes with emotional abandonment. This is due to

parents' selfish neglect of their own concerns or interests.
In this sense, the child is deprived of his worth, recognition,
autonomy, comfort and, above all, affection. In this way the
child is deprived of confidence, inner life and doubts,
therefore he will have low self-esteem, since he does not
have the love of the mother and/or father.
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

Homes with overprotection . In this sense, parents are

suffocating and invasive of children's privacy. Parents only
live to care for or protect the life of the child, neglecting
themselves. The overprotection and interference of parents
in the child's life are very harmful to the child's self-esteem,
and which generates a minimum tolerance for frustration
and they are almost always dissatisfied with their
achievements.
How could we classify
to the people
Homehiddenblemessage . In these
In homes one thing is said and another is done, one
acts in a way opposite to what is said,
so that there is no coherence between words and
actions, which generates confusion in children. For
example, saying I love you, but not giving time to play
or listen to the child, love remains only in words and is
not translated into actions.
Defense mechanisms used by
the person
Codependent people try to cover the sun with a finger
so as not to see clearly what we have done with our
lives and the lives of others. What we have done with
many of our past experiences is to cover them up or
put doors on them so as not to suffer, in addition to
having anesthetized our emotions so as not to feel the
pain of childhood or the pain that we cause to other
people.
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?
We regularly react to Emotions and
Feelings inappropriately, and what we
do is block them with one of the
Defense Mechanisms :
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?
1) Repression : The person represses
what they would really like to say or do,
rather they cover up their feelings so that
it is accepted and well seen. If you are
sad: “I'm really fine, it's just that I thought
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?
about something else.”
Defense mechanisms
does the Codependent person
use?
2) Denial : The person denies events or
feelings associated with
physical or psychological abuse. Which
does not allow you to see the real problem.
If you feel anger: “I'm not upset, I'm worried
about my parents.”
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?
Rationalization : He justifies everything, he
does not allow other people to show him his
faults or mistakes. Justifies your actions
and those of other people. If you feel lonely:
“I guess I feel that way because I haven't
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?
seen anyone.”
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?
Projection : You pour your emotions and
feelings onto others, so that you blame
others for what you are actually feeling or
experiencing. You look tired. If you feel
bad: “You look very bad, something is
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?
wrong with you.”
Defense mechanisms
does the Codependent person
use?
Reactive : They seek to hurt others, they do
not measure the consequences of the way
they express their emotions or feelings.
Unload your unhealthy emotions or feelings
on
the rest. A frustrated father tells his son:
“You don't know how to do anything well.”
Defense mechanisms
use the person
Codependent?

What Defense Mechanism do you

use and why?
With what obstacles
emotional is found
a Codependent?

There are many emotional obstacles that

prevent you from getting out of codependency
and keep you tied to them implicitly or explicitly,
which we can see in the person's daily actions.
However, these obstacles can be overcome, if
desired.
With what obstacles
emotional is found
a Codependent?

Which of the obstacles do you

identify with the most?
What does the
Dry drunkenness on the
Immaturity and Infantilism

The Codependent does not mature because he is

installed in his comfort zone. He keeps throwing
tantrums and doesn't take responsibility for his
actions.
Do you want others to do what you want? Do you
get upset and angry if what you want is not done?
What does the
Dry drunkenness on the
Permanent attitude of dishonesty towards
oneself and towards others.
He does not say what he really wants to say, he
keeps his feelings and thoughts to himself so as
not to confront the other person. Do you say what
you feel and think?
What prevents you from being honest?
What does the
Dry drunkenness on the
Bitterness and emotional dissatisfaction due to persistence
of resentments
There is bitterness, dissatisfaction and frustration, because the
other person does not do what the codependent wants them to
do. And since others do not do what he or she wants, he or she
resents them. Do you currently feel bitterness, dissatisfaction or
frustration?

Are you resentful for not getting others to change?

What does the
Dry drunkenness on the
Codependency?
Permanent feeling of guilt with self-devaluation, handicap and
tendency to self-punishment
He carries the guilt of the past and does not forgive himself. They
feel that they are worthless and that they are less than those around
them. He punishes himself because he believes that he does not
deserve to be forgiven, and he himself is his own worst judge, which
prevents him from seeing himself free from others.
Do you feel guilty when others or yourself don't do what you thought?
Do you punish or hurt yourself for not meeting your expectations? Do
What does the
Dry drunkenness on the
you feel guilty for not helping others?
What does the
Codependency?
Egocentrism, self-sufficiency and tendency
towards omnipotence

The egocentric is imposing and rude. Self-sufficiency

leads to omnipotence. He falsely believes he can lead
the world.

Can you imagine that the world would be better if they

did, thought and felt the way you wanted?
What does the
Dry drunkenness on the
Dry Binge on Codependency?
Permanent fears: fear of life, anguish and tension
It is lived in an anguished and tense way. It is
demonstrated with insecurity and apprehension. He is
afraid that others will not do what he wants. Are you afraid
when you don't have control of something or someone?
Do you live with anxiety because you don't know what is
going to happen?
What does Dry Drunkenness tell
us about Codependency?
Depression, pessimism and demotivation
The person feels sad and pessimistic when realizing
that they have no control over the lives of others or
their own life.
How many times have you become depressed, fallen
into pessimism or unmotivated, because what you
wanted is not done?
What does Dry Drunkenness tell
us about Codependency?
Sexual and sentimental ungovernability
The sexual aspect of the couple is minimized and
seen with less interest. He does not control his own
emotions, others manage them.
Do you consider that your sexual performance has
decreased? Do you have your emotions under control
or do others manage them?
What does the
Dry drunkenness on the
Denial of reality and persistence in rationalization and projection
mechanisms
He denies his character defects, does not know or accept them, which
prevents him from growing emotionally. They feel attacked when
confronted. They continue looking for culprits. They do not allow
themselves to be supported by psychologists or priests, etc. He criticizes
others but does not see his own reality.
Do you accept your codependent condition? How do you protect yourself
when someone talks about what really hurts you?
Do you rationalize past events to avoid feeling guilty or bad? Do you
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
project your life onto others?
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
a) Become aware of the problem . It's realizing that you are
emotionally tied. How do I realize it? When the problem
surrounds me all day and I can't stop thinking about it, when I
am always looking for a way to solve it. That is, when my mind,
my body, my energy are dependent on a situation that concerns
another person, and I cannot avoid it. I am living according to
another person, and this is exhausting, negative, unproductive.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
b) The determination of a recovery. I'm
going to recover, no matter what it takes.
Whether I have to cure myself of love, or
of lack of love.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
Put limits. Emotional boundaries enable us to
protect ourselves and allow us to know ourselves
better. Therefore, they help us relate to others.
Setting boundaries helps us ensure that our
behavior is appropriate and prevents us from
offending others or being abused.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
If we have established normal limits, we
realize when we are being mistreated. The
person who has not set limits does not
realize that they are being abused
physically, emotionally or intellectually.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
Unfortunately, codependents, and especially children
of adult alcoholics and people who are being abused,
remain in abusive relationships because they have not
set limits on their behavior or that of others. In order to
recover and regain their identity and self-respect,
these people need to establish them.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
Take care of ourselves and value ourselves. It is essential
that we learn to value ourselves and to comfort and care for the
child within us all. If feelings of fear, anger or pain overwhelm
us, we should seek professional help. In this way we will know
its origin and we will learn to take care of ourselves, to value
ourselves, and to establish limits. Writing in a journal, for
example, can help people get to know themselves better and
know what they like or dislike and what they want to become.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
4. Have a good image of God. Parents are the
image of God for their children. If they are rejected or
mistreated, it will be very difficult for them to believe
that God is loving and good, since they learned very
little from their parents about what love, kindness, or
comfort is. The child needs all of these to be able to
grow and mature normally.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
Establishing or repairing spiritual boundaries takes
time and patience, but with God's help anything is
possible. Let us always remember these affirmations:
"I am a son (or daughter) loved by God." "I'm allowed
to make mistakes." "I am protected and supported by
the loving hands of God."
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
5. Emotional Detachment. We say that there is
emotional attachment when a person is emotionally
attached to negative or pathological things about
someone around them; be it a husband, son, blood or
in-law relative, co-worker, etc.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
One of the first things to begin an emotional
detachment is to be aware that one is emotionally
attached to someone. To detach emotionally is not to
enter the game, not to lend oneself to being abused,
neither in word nor in deed. If you already know the
problem, don't expose yourself, cut to the chase. In
many cases the solution is in prayer.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
Let God do his work. He always has more effective
weapons than our poor forces. We have to do our part
and, many times, our part is to do nothing. Or do it in a
positive, different way. Change the strategy: Look so
and so, you know what? I have assumed another
position in my life.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
From now on, I will not admit any abuse or rudeness
to you. I love you very much and I am willing to help
you in everything within my power, but I will not
tolerate your bad behavior any longer. You know you
need therapy, so the sooner the better. That is
detachment. There are no regrets, no reproaches, no
impositions.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
6. Letting go with love . Detachment is not lack of
love. Detachment is: I can no longer handle this
situation, I no longer have any control over that child,
over that husband, over that problem. No matter how
much I have tried to help him, I have not been able to.
When you can't change the things that happen around
you, it's healthier to start looking at them in a different
way.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
By changing your perception of things, you will ensure
that they do not mistreat you and you will take
advantage of them. That is growth. It is time to start
working with yourself and the only way to achieve
change in others. A change in attitude causes the
people around us to move towards a change as well,
to try to adapt to the new situation. This is healthy.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
7. Spiritual Help. Even if you seek therapeutic help, without
spiritual help no one can achieve emotional detachment. Because,
those who are parents know how painful it is to separate from a
husband and make the corresponding emotional detachment,
especially with a child. It is heartbreaking. God is the Only One
who can help you get through that pain. He goes to the therapist
once. God, on the other hand, always remains with us, day and
night. Only He can help let go and heal the wound caused by
abuse.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
8. Detachment. Detachment does not happen
overnight, it takes a long time. But little by little it is
being achieved. Do not spend your life on other
people's things that you cannot solve, or that it is not
your responsibility to do. This is not a lack of charity.
Better said, it is a lack of charity (love) with yourself. !
Good! You who spent day and night, and perhaps your
entire life, inappropriately helping a person
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
Remember : there are no genuine loves until there is
truly healthy self-love. If we do not love ourselves, we
cannot love anyone and everything we give to others
will be harmful, neurotic; It will only serve to help the
other person's abnormality grow.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
9. Love Each Other Unconditionally. This means
that the first person you have to properly help is
yourself, or someone who is emotionally attached.
Because the codependent person, or the controlling
person, or the saving person, tends to act like this with
everyone, and never leaves space for them.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?

To take care of yourself, to respect yourself, to take

yourself into account, to say no. He always tends to
jump on the bandwagon of anyone who is bad. This
shows his low self-esteem.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
The remedy is, therefore, to value yourself and accept
that no matter what you do, you cannot avoid the other
person's inappropriate behavior. Only that person can
do it and, almost always, they have the necessary
means. You just have to look for them. You just have
to want to do it.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
10. Make signs . Something that is also very helpful
is to place favorite Bible verses in visible places such
as the mirror, refrigerator, etc.; to be able to read them
if you feel tempted, sad or depressed. The
codependent needs to reprogram his mind with
positive and healthy things and, most especially,
remember how much God loves him and how much he
is worth as a child of Him.
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
Reading Psalm 8, for example, is an excellent way to
raise self-esteem: "When I see the heaven that you
yourself made, and the moon and the stars that you
put in it, I think: What is man? What is the human
being? Why do you remember him and care about
him? Well, you made him almost like a god, you
surrounded him with honor and dignity, you gave him
authority over your works, you put him above
How to free yourself
from
Codependency?
everything..."
How could we classify
to the people
codependent?

For the recovery or liberation of Codependency we

must assume that: Each person is responsible for
themselves; take care of themselves.
AA principles for
free yourself from the

Codependency
These principles can be the beginning of calming and
calming anxiety, fear, anger or frustration, so that they
can help us in our recovery and have sufficient tools to
accept, detect and transform our thoughts, feelings
and actions of dependence. Only you are responsible
for yourself, do it for you.
AA principles for freedom from
Codependency
1. First thing's first
It's about living in an orderly way. Putting your value as a
person first and that you must first learn to love yourself and
then love others. What or who is the most important thing in
my life? Do I try to please myself or do I please others?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
2. Live and let live
“Do not do to others what you do not want done to you.”
Don't judge others. Learn to direct your life and then
suggest to others, but don't carry their regrets.
Have I lived this day satisfactorily? Have I let others live?
Do I worry too much about others? Do I want to continue
controlling?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
3. Little by little (but not breech either)

Things are done step by step. Changes occur day by

day. Try to recognize and accept that codependency
has been there for years, and take firm steps towards
recovery.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Do I pretend to be in control of things, situations or
people? Do I rush situations or things to get what I
want?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
4. Leave it to God
Other people are owners of their decisions, emotions
and thoughts, it is not in my hands to control their
lives. That's why I let them go and put them in the
hands of God.
Have I learned to let go of situations or people with
love? Do I put my life and the lives of those I love in
AA principles for
free yourself from the
the hands of God?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
5. One day at a time
Learn to live well these 24, 12, 6, or every hour. Don't
worry, you better get busy. Build those new habits or
customs little by little. One day at a time, don't rush
things, they will come.
Do you worry about tomorrow's situations? Does
knowing what will happen tomorrow cause you fear,
anguish or anxiety?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
6. Pass it on
As you learn to free yourself from the burden of others, worry,
and control, you are invited to pass this message on to other
codependent people so that they may seek liberation just as
you do.
What have I freed myself from? Do I consider I have a spiritual
awakening? Who can I share my life or experience with? How
do I feel about myself?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
7. Keep it simple
It is about having two words in our minds and our actions:
LOVE AND SERVICE. May I feel liberated day by day and
control my desire for power or control over others.
Do I show off to everyone what I've done? Does what I do
or say have a certain charge of love for myself and others?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

From the previous principles, what have I learned to

overcome codependency?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

1. Detachment . Detachment is not separation from the

person you care about, but from the agony of involvement.
Detachment means that you allow others to be as they
are, you give them the freedom to be responsible and
mature and you give yourself the same freedom, you live
your life. own life to the maximum of your capacity. You
struggle to discern what you can change and what you
can't. It means living in the present moment, living in the
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

here and now.

AA principles for freedom from
Codependency

What can you change and what can't?

AA principles for
free yourself from the
2. Noteletdrag for any
wind . Don't allow other people's feelings, behaviors,
problems and thoughts to move you and lead you to
feel what you don't want to feel, to think what you
don't want to think. Do not take other people's
behavior into account as a reflection of your self-
esteem. Don't take things that way
staff .
AA principles for
free yourself from the
2. Noteletdrag for any
wind . Don't allow other people's feelings, behaviors,
problems and thoughts to move you and lead you to
feel what you don't want to feel, to think what you
don't want to think. Do not take other people's
behavior into account as a reflection of your self-
esteem. Don't take things that way
staff .
AA principles for
free yourself from the
[Link] reacting. I react nar means to act
impulsive way without reflection for it: You should not be afraid of
people, they are like you. You must not give up your power to
think and feel. Let's not take things so personally (you, the events
and other people). You should never take another person's behavior
as a reflection of your self-esteem. Don't take rejection as a reflection
of your self-esteem. Don't take things so personally. Don't worry
about little things either. Free yourself, don't try to control something
you can't. LIFE ITSELF Don't play the victim, you are free and you
know how to make decisions.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
4. Break free. Defeat yourself before the control of
others, and declare: I cannot have the lives of others
under my control, others are not going to do what I
want, think or feel. Keep in mind that the weak are the
most powerful manipulators and controllers. My desire
to control blocks the power of God.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
It blocks other people's ability to grow and mature. At
the end of the day, people do what they want to do,
whether I'm here or not. We can't change people. Any
attempt to control them is a deception and an illusion.
The only person I can control or change is yourself.
Start taking care of yourself. Give others freedom to
be who they are.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

FREE OF
FREE FOR
AA principles for
free yourself from the

6. Move the victim away. Codependents are

caregivers and rescuers but they end up being just
another victim. The person is rescued from their
responsibilities and obligations. And we solve their
problems without seeing the damage that is done to
them. Victims are capable of taking care of
themselves, even if they and we do not admit it.
Refuse to rescue and refuse to be rescued.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
5. Non-dependence means: Living your own life. You have the
responsibility to identify your needs and meet them. You have the
responsibility to solve your problems or learn to live with those you
cannot solve. You are responsible for the choices you make, for
what you give and what you receive, for setting your goals and
achieving them, for enjoying your life, for the amount of pleasure
you find, for loving someone and for the way you You express that
love, from what you do to others and from what you allow others to
do.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
8. Live your own life . After I became detached and
took responsibility for myself, I thought, maybe other
people weren't the reason I hadn't lived my own life;
Maybe they were just the excuse he needed. Self-care
is an attitude toward ourselves and our actions that
says: “I am responsible for myself.
AA principles for
free yourself from the

I have the responsibility not only to live my life,

but to drive it. I have the responsibility to attend to my

spiritual, emotional, physical and economic well-being. I
have the responsibility to identify my needs and meet
them. I have the responsibility to solve my problems or
learn to live with those that I cannot change. I am
responsible for the choices I make. I am responsible for
what I give and receive.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
9. Have a romance with yourself. The one we give the least
importance or love to is ourselves, in fact we come to hate
ourselves for being who we are. Some of us come to believe that
our past mistakes have been so many that we do not deserve to
be forgiven. A positive side of codependents is that they are loving,
generous, kind-hearted and concerned about others. We must
begin to love ourselves, we can pamper ourselves and accept our
wonderful qualities, and love ourselves with our weaknesses and
strengths.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
Love our thoughts and feelings, without judging
ourselves, this is what I am and what I have, but it can
change, I am the greatest thing in this world. We can
no longer blame ourselves for the past or for mistakes,
we must learn to be kind to ourselves and love
ourselves.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
10. Learn the art of the i ac 5 eptation which has
stages: Denial, Anger,
Bargaining, Depression,
Acceptance . This means that we recognize and accept our
circumstances, including ourselves and the people in our lives,
just as we and they are. Only from such a state will we possess
the peace and the ability to evaluate ourselves and make
appropriate changes and solve our problems. We cannot
change until we accept what we have and are.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
11. Feel your own feelings, take responsibility for
your emotional self. Feelings are another part of our
being, but we cannot ignore them, because they can
put us in trouble. The emotional part of us is what
makes us laugh or cry, makes us feel happy or sad.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
Our feelings are indicators of our present. Denying our
feelings can cause headaches, stomach aches, body
aches, etc. Take responsibility for your feelings,
appropriately express what you think and feel to other
people.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
It mainly manifests anger, angry feelings are part of life, that
is why we feel it, but we cannot let it manage our behaviors,
thoughts or feelings, we must take control of anger into our
hands. Break the following myths: good people do not feel
anger, we take revenge on others if we are angry, we have to
hit if I am angry, if someone is angry with you it is because
they do not love you.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
We must keep in mind that we blame ourselves and turn anger into
depression, and when we feel guilty we ask God for forgiveness
for being horrible. Feelings don't go away if we ignore them, they
grow and devour us. Keep in mind that you have the right to get
angry but responsibly without hurting others. Give yourself
permission to feel angry. Don't justify or rationalize anger. Identify
the thoughts and feelings that accompany anger. Decide how you
want to act in the face of anger, control it. Talk to someone.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
12. Yes, you can think . Always remember that you
can think and feel. You have in your hands a range of
possibilities and alternatives, it is up to you to use
them or not. You can make decisions, you can say
what you want and need, those decisions will increase
our self-esteem, whether they are good or bad
decisions.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
these problems and
analyze endless alternatives to solve it. We have the
opportunity to make mistakes and not judge ourselves.
Our thoughts are the key to our feelings. We don't
have to hold back. Try to put your mind at peace. Ask
God to help you think. Feed your mind with positive
things. Take decisions.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
13. Set your own goals s . The goals
They generate interest and enthusiasm in life. If you
suggests writing down your goals and putting dates
and resources to achieve them. Try to make
everything a goal. If we have a problem, let the
solution be the goal. Let's skip the "should"
be..”, DO NOT limit yourself, fight for what you need.
Give God your goals and do what corresponds to you
day by day.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

DOES WHAT I DID TODAY COME ME CLOSER OR

AWAY FROM WHAT I WANT?
AA principles for
free yourself from the
14. Improve your . As a codependent,
communication
our communication distills repressed feelings, repressed
thoughts, low self-esteem and shame. We must keep in mind
that the words we say reflect who we are, what we think,
judge, feel, value, love, hate, fear, desire, hope, believe and
what we commit to. We have to start by knowing what we are
going to say and not doubt it.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
Let us express our feelings openly, honestly, appropriately
and responsibly. Let's allow others to do the same. I feel, I
feel... for now..., Express your needs and desires: This is
what I need or expect from you. Do not advise anyone, try to
listen and not interfere where they do not call you, and if you
do, take into account that the person is the one who must
make decisions and solve their own problems.
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency
May our words reflect high self-esteem. Let's be
honest, let's be direct, let's be open, let's be gentle and
kind, let's be firm when the situation warrants it. And
above all, let's be who we are and say what we feel
and think.
AA principles for freedom from
Codependency
1. Detachment
2. Don't let yourself be carried away by any wind
.
3. Stop reacting.
4. Break free.
5. Remove the victim
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

6. Non-dependency means
7. Live your own life .
8. Have a romance with yourself.
9. Feel your own feelings, take responsibility for
AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

your emotional self.

AA principles for
free yourself from the
Codependency

10. Yes, you can think

11 . Set your own goals .
12 . Improve your communication