TOPIC TWO: IMPORTANCE OF SELF IDENTIFICATION/ANALYSIS OF SELF

Objectives of the Topic

By the end of the topic the learner should be able to;

a) Understand the meaning of self.

b) Reflect on your own sense of self and how it was developed.
c) Describe a sense of self.
d) Identify factors that play a role in the development of sense of self.
e) Explain the importance of sense of self.
f) Explain the role of culture in the development of self- concept.

Self—our sense of personal identity and of who we are as individuals. You are a unique
individual with thoughts, emotions and behaviors independent of your family, friends and
coworkers. You have the ability to see, understand, and know the world around you in a way
only you can.

You have the ability to grow, change, thrive, and set goals for yourself.

These abilities, strengths, and knowledge developed over your lifetime.

What is a Sense of Self?

Our sense of self includes the roles, attributes, behaviors, and associations that we consider
most important about ourselves (Ylvisaker, 2006).

What factors influence the development of sense of self?

1. Think back to when you were a school-age child. You didn’t become the person you are
today all on your own. Most likely, there were adults in your life that helped you to
realize these abilities and strengths that you were developing.
2. Maybe a teacher helped you see your artistic ability, or a family member encouraged you
to try out for a team or enter a writing contest.
3. Cultural and family traditions and beliefs also played a role in the person you’ve become.
4. You are an individual who has used your experiences to develop a sense of self.
5. our occupations
6. hobbies
7. affiliations
8. abilities
9. personality traits
10. spiritual beliefs.
11. The result of our environment and immediate surroundings. For example, if you are a
member of an encouraging or nurturing environment you are more likely to feel accepted
and self-confident in your abilities. Whereas if you are part of a non-supportive or
negative environment, you may have difficulty discovering who you are due to a lack of
acceptance and encouragement to explore your interests and positive attributes.
12. Role models : Think of a person you know who is confident in their ability to perform a
particular task or skill. Chances are this individual has received positive feedback and
support from others, which helped to further the development of these skills and foster a
sense of identity.
13. As we grow and mature over our lifetimes our identities can also change
depending on time and place.
14. Relationships, parenthood, and other life events can help shape our identities.
Think back on who you were 10 years ago. Do you feel like the same person now?
Whether you were 19 or 59 a decade ago, it is likely that your concept of who you are
has changed in some way.

Perhaps you have accomplished major goals like earning a degree or starting a family, and
these events have changed how you see yourself. Perhaps experiences like caring for an aging
parent or ending a long-term relationship have called into question things you thought you
knew about yourself.

15. Your interactions with others can also shape your sense of self. For example, if your
family praises your cooking ability you may come to believe that you are a good cook.
However, if you were to enroll in a cooking class, your perception of your abilities may
change when you are in the company of others with similar or more advanced culinary
talents. In this example, your sense of self was altered, though your ability to cook
remained the same.

A sense of self encompasses a child’s self-esteem, self-worth, identity, and self-image. It is a

combination of the way children see themselves, their experiences, and their environment and
how they feel about themselves. For school-age children, a sense of self is linked to their
developing identities, which are becoming increasingly independent from their families.

According to Mark Ylvisaker, a researcher in communication disorders, there are

SEVEN EXPERIENCES THAT CONTRIBUTE TO THE

CONSTRUCTION OF A POSITIVE AND PRODUCTIVE SENSE OF
SELF:

1. Acceptance and respect

The level of acceptance and respect from relevant adults remains a strong contributor to an
individual’s sense of personal identity at all ages. Respect for others is communicated
through the expression of genuine thoughts and interests as well as holding reasonably high
standards for their behaviors and ability levels. Non-judgmental communication and view of
families are also important components of respect.

2. Success with meaningful tasks

A positive sense of self and self-esteem are ultimately derived from meaningful
achievements. As a school-age staff member, you must therefore be creative in identifying
activities and tasks in which you can experience meaningful success and ideally a sense of
contribution.

3. Association of positive role models

People who are reminded of someone with strong values or great inner strength prior to
beginning a difficult task tend to put more effort into the task and achieve at higher levels
than if they had not had the positive association before beginning the task.

4. Honest feedback

When giving feedback, it should be honest, respectful, and specific to the task at hand. Rather
than saying, “Good job!” to a child who successfully completed a large puzzle, try saying,
“Wow! You worked so hard to put that puzzle together. That took a long time and you didn’t
give up.”

5. Genuinely challenging and meaningful tasks

Creating experiences and opportunities that are meaningful and fitting to a school-age child’s
developmental level and that support daily routines can help contribute to a positive sense of
self. Knowledge about each child and of developmentally appropriate practices will be
essential when you plan your activities and experiences.

6. Opportunities for meaningful peer interaction

Finding opportunities that can contribute to ongoing support from peers can help contribute
to a positive sense of self.

7. Coping with defeats

Defeats are a part of everyday life. Sometimes, things do not work out or go as planned, and
learning how to deal with these setbacks and turn them into opportunities for growth will help
to build a positive sense of self. Managing frustration is important for school-age children to
learn and they often need guidance to develop and practice this skill.

Checking in with your sense of self

So, where does your sense of self fall on the spectrum?

Asking yourself the following questions below can offer some insight.

Do I say yes to make others happy?

It’s totally fine to accommodate others sometimes, but if you always agree to what others
want, you likely aren’t living for yourself. Defining yourself mostly by relationships with
others or your ability to please your loved ones can suggest a less-developed sense of self.

What are my strengths?

Sense of self depends on not only recognizing your strengths but also believing in your
capabilities to use them to achieve your goals.
Having a good handle on your talents and maximizing them in your day-to-day life often
means you have a healthy sense of self.

What brings me happiness?

What helps you relax and enjoy yourself? What hobbies or activities make life meaningful?

Everyone has a few things and people in life they don’t want to change or lose, and
identifying these important people and pursuits can tell you a lot about yourself.

What are my values? Do I live my life accordingly?

Awareness of personal values can go a long way toward outlining your sense of self. Values
describe the traits you prioritize in yourself or others—empathy, honesty, trustworthiness,
kindness, and so on.

Do my choices reflect my own interests or someone else’s?

If you aren’t sure how to answer this question, look at it from another angle: Would you
make the same choices if you were alone? Decisions mostly grounded in your desires and
goals for yourself typically reflect a strong sense of self.

3 Questions to determine whether you have Self-identity Issues

 Do I rely on others to feel real?

Do you feel better when you’re copying someone else’s opinions or ideas? Are you a
different person when you’re with different people? This is sometimes referred to as being a
“social chameleon”. However, there is a difference between skilfully adapting to different
social situations, and feeling like a different person in each situation. Healthy identity
involves bringing forth the same version of yourself and feeling confident in who you are.
Unhealthy identity is about changing who you are to fit the situation or group you are with.
  Do my opinions and interests change often?

Do you always know what is important to you? If someone were to describe you, would you
know if they were right or wrong? While it is healthy to change and grow in response to life
experiences, there are usually a set of values, interests or preferences to which people always
feel connected. You need to know what you like, what you enjoy and think of a topic or
situation. This will help guide your decisions and pursuit of things that bring meaning to your
life.

 Do I feel empty or broken?

Do you feel like an empty shell? Do you feel lost or not know who you are? An absence of
knowing yourself can be a sign of mental health problems and difficulty managing emotions.

5 Tasks That Help Build Self-Identity

Every person in the world has an identity – something unique that distinguishes them from
everybody else. Fortunately, you can still discover and cultivate a healthy self-identity.

You can begin to strengthen your identity and your interpersonal boundaries by
exploring the following (journaling your responses is even better!):

 Intellectual – you are entitled to your ideas, opinions, beliefs, preferences and
philosophy on life, as are others. What are these?
 Emotional – you are entitled to your feelings and reactions, as are others. How do you
feel about things that are happening in your life?
 Physical – you are entitled to your space, as are others. How do you feel about your
surroundings, privacy, belongings and the people who impact these?
 Social – you are entitled to your friends and to pursuing your interests, as are others.
Who and what things look interesting to you?
 Story – your life is an unfolding story. What are some of your favorite memories and
accomplishments? What are your hopes for the future?

Factors that can influence your sense of self

Individuation
Individuation, or the process through which you develop a unique self, begins in childhood.
To individuate successfully, children need room to explore, learn, and express needs and
desires.

“When we are encouraged to display our personalities without shame or guilt, we can
develop a strong sense of ourselves,” Myers explains.

If your attempts at self-expression earn only criticism or punishment from parents, friends, or
anyone else, you might respond by ignoring your internal sense of self. It may seem safer and
more beneficial to reshape yourself into someone more easily accepted.

Attachment

Your relationship with your parents or primary caregivers plays a significant role in your
understanding of other relationships later in life. An insecure attachment can affect not only
the development of your identity but your behavior in adult romantic relationships.

Attachment issues can be somewhat complex, but here’s a quick rundown on how they relate
to sense of self.

When you don’t feel certain of your caregivers’ unconditional love and acceptance, you
might tailor your behavior to earn their approval. The resulting praise and affection reinforce
the belief that modeling yourself to fit the expectations of others is the best (perhaps only)
way to succeed in relationships.

This pattern usually continues to play out in your future relationships as you stifle your own
needs in order to fulfill the needs of your partners, seeing this as the only way to hold on to
their affection.

A desire to fit in

If you struggled to fit in with your peers in adolescence, you may have found it easier to take
on the role of a social chameleon. Instead of holding on to your sense of self, you began
shifting your identity to better fit in with multiple groups.
Acceptance can be a powerful motivator. If this changeable sense of self served you well
during your teen years, this lesson can remain with you well into adulthood.

You might take on a certain persona at work, another when with your family, and still another
when you spend time with friends. Switching between these different “selves” can make it
even more difficult to unearth your true nature and create stress for yourself.

Building a strong sense of self

An unstable sense of self can make you feel flat and unfulfilled, but it’s always possible to
develop a clearer self-image.

Try these strategies to begin establishing a more concrete, independent identity.

Define your values

Values and personal beliefs are fundamental aspects of identity.

Your belief system can help you recognize what matters most to you and determine where
you stand on important issues. For example, a desire to protect animal rights may lead you to
choose cruelty-free products and make more informed choices about the foods you eat.

Values can help guide the boundaries you set with others in your life. If you value honesty,
for example, you might make it clear you can’t maintain a relationship with someone who
lies to you.

You don’t have to identify all your values at once, but try to think about some potential ones
as you go about your day and interact with the world.

Make your own choices

Your decisions should primarily benefit your health and well-being. If you have a partner or
children, you’ll also want to take their needs into account, though that shouldn’t involve
neglecting yourself.

Remember: When your needs go unmet, you have less to offer others.

Maybe you’ve let others make important decisions for you in the past

It’s OK to start small, though. Practice doing things because you want to do them, without
asking for input from others.

Keep in mind that seeking guidance from others doesn’t mean you lack a sense of self. It’s
entirely healthy — even wise — to talk over difficult decisions with trusted loved ones. At
the end of the day, it’s important to make the choice that’s best for you, regardless of their
opinions.

Spend time alone

When you want to get to know someone, you spend time with them, right? It follows, then,
that getting to know yourself better will involve some quality time alone.

It might feel strange at first, but it’s healthy to take some time apart from others, even your
family or partner.

If you’d really like to maximize self-exploration, try:

 experimenting with new hobbies

 volunteering

 reading more books

 meditating

 keeping a journal

Consider how to achieve your ideals

Once you have a more firmly defined sense of self, consider what you can do to align your
life with your identity. You might, for example, ask yourself what changes you can make in
your professional life or interactions with others.

Benefit from Self-Identity

The research team from Utah found that a strong self-identity helped people navigate major
life tasks, achieve intimacy with others, be autonomous, and find a place in society.

If you are feeling confused over who you are, or, find your behaviour and opinions changing
frequently, guidance from a professional therapist may help.

What is Self-Concept?

“As children develop an appreciation of their inner mental world, they think more intently
about themselves. During early childhood . . . children begin to construct a self-concept
which is the set of attributes, abilities, attitudes, and values that an individual believes defines
who he or she is.” (Berk, 2003, p. 444).

You may recall specific times where you became aware of particular circumstances that
reinforced your own self-concept. Perhaps it was during a school or sports activity, a
theatrical or musical performance, or another event when you realized you had accomplished
a goal (either alone or with others) that you had set for yourself.

Achieving goals you set and accomplishing tasks that required you to stretch beyond your
comfort zone helped you develop a positive self-concept. The relationships that you had with
caring adults in your life (e.g., parents, grandparents, teachers, coaches) nurtured your self-
concept as you learned about your unique abilities, gifts, and talents. Multiple factors,
including each child's cultural background, experiences, and most importantly their
relationships with adults and peers impact the development of a child’s self-concept.

Just as your own experiences and early relationships with family members and peers
have influenced the development of your self-concept, you will create positive experiences
that assist the school-age children in your care to learn about themselves.

What is Resilience?
According to Tugade and Fredrickson (2004), there are individuals who seem to “bounce
back” from negative events quite effectively, whereas others are caught in a rut, seemingly
unable to get out of their struggling and negative streaks.

Being able to move on despite negative stressors demonstrates a concept known as

resilience. Someone who is said to be resilient is effective at coping and adaptation even
when faced with loss, hardship, or adversity.

That is not to say that they are blind to negativity or do not experience high levels of anxiety
and frustration. Instead, someone who is resilient chooses to focus on positive aspects and
emotions of the situation at a greater rate.

Every child has an opportunity to develop and enhance personal characteristics and other
strengths that act as protective factors or help create a protective barrier to misfortune and
change.

These strengths, or protective factors, are developed within the context of important, safe
and responsive relationships with caring adults.

They can also be strengthened by protective factors found within the environments in which
the child plays and lives, as well as within the child himself or herself. The within-self-
protective factors are closely tied to the development of self and social and emotional well-
being.

What Role Does Culture Play on the development of self - identity?

Culture helps define how individuals see themselves and how they relate to others.
Remember that individuals differ in many ways: language diversity, cultural diversity, gender
diversity, religious diversity, and economic diversity (Selmi, Gallagher, & Mora-Flores,
2015). All of these aspects of diversity work together to form your sense of self.

It is important for you to acknowledge and understand that individuals may not develop a
sense of self in the same manner. A family’s cultural values shape the development of its
child’s self-concept: Culture shapes how we each see ourselves and others. For example,
some cultures prefer children to be quiet and respectful when around adults.

This does not indicate that a quiet child lacks self-confidence. It is important to remember
that not all families reinforce the mainstream American cultural values of individualism,
competition, and assertiveness.
Young children learn and absorb the stories told to them that often emphasize a family’s
values and affect a child’s self-concept. As children grow older and attend school and spend
leisure time with their peers, they learn that others may not have the same values as their
family. For instance, some families may value academics over playing sports while another
family may value the arts and learning to play a musical instrument. Each family influences a
child’s self-concept within their cultural context. Young children may describe themselves
based upon their family’s values (for example, a young child from a culture that stresses
fitting in with others as a strong value may describe herself as “kind” while another child
from a culture that stresses individualism may describe herself as “a good runner”). As a
school-age staff member, you assume the important task of nurturing children’s sense of self,
and you must carefully observe and listen to each child.

Two of the most studied aspects of culture related to the sense of self are independence and
interdependence.

Independence views individuals as separate from one another, and values ideas such as self-
esteem, individual choices, and assertiveness.

Interdependence means more value is placed on the group, and ideas like conformity,
concern for others, and group decision-making are valued. Children come from families and
cultures that value independence and interdependence in different ways at different times.

According to developmental psychologist Catherine Raeff (2010), culture can influence how
you, your co-workers, and the families you serve view:

 Relationships: Culture influences how you enter into and maintain relationships. For
example, relationships may be seen as voluntary or as duty-based. This influences how
adults encourage children to form relationships: Do they choose whom to play with or
are children encouraged to play in certain ways to promote group welfare?

 Personality traits: Culture influences whether and how you value traits like humility,
self-esteem, politeness, and assertiveness. Culture also influences how you perceive
hardship and how you feel about relying on others.

 Achievement: Culture influences how you define success and whether you value
certain types of individual and group achievements.

 Expressing emotions: Culture influences how and whether you consider feelings
public or private.
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