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 table of
contents
Preface:The LanguageGame................................................................4
1. A Case Study in How NOT to Talk to Women...........................4
2. Stop Talking at Women, You’re Turning Them Off...............8
3. Subtext is How She Decides..............................................11
4. You Have to Play so Play to Win.................................15
Introduction: How to Use This Report..................................17
1. Understanding the Progression..........................................17
2. Getting the Most Out of All 66 Words................................19
Word Lists..................................................................................21
1. Sexually Humorous...............................................................21
2. Sexually Suggestive..............................................................22
3. Sexually Inviting.....................................................................23
4. Sexually Arousing...................................................................24
5. Sexually Explicit....................................................................25
6. Sexually Dominant................................................................26
Example Lists..............................................................................27
1. Sexually Humorous...............................................................27
2. Sexually Suggestive..............................................................31
3. Sexually Inviting.....................................................................35
4. Sexually Arousing...................................................................41
5. Sexually Explicit....................................................................47
6. Sexually Dominant................................................................51
Afterword: Pulling it All Together.........................................58
Sexual Snowballing: Trigger Questions................58
Recommended Resources.............................................................65

3
 PREFACE

the
language
GA M E
1. A Case Study in How NOT to Talk to Women

H
ow gross is the way he talks about
sex?” Jon asked me. Better known as
Sinn, Jon’s a fellow dating instructor
and good friend and we found ourselves dis-
cussing a mutual client who’d sent us both the
same email detailing a “situation” with a girl
that had gone cold. Really, really cold.

“It’s bad, “ I agreed. “I mean, like, BADDDDDD.”

“You how he comes off,” Jon sneered, “It sounds like

he’s a serial killer trying to write a romance novel.”

4
 PREFACE

Of course I laughed. Felt bad about it. But the de-

scription was just too fitting—too much truth and
absurdity—to stifle myself. I managed to choke
out a “Seriously!”, which was the only thing I
had to add, in my professional opinion.

Jon continued, “I actually felt nauseous read-

ing the part when he had her back at his place,
when he told her he wanted to ‘penetrate’ her.”

I didn’t need Jon to remind me of the specifics,

the badness; it had become intertwined into
the fabric of my nightmares.

“What about,” I countered, “Him saying he

wanted to lap up her juices like a dog.” I made
a slurping sound for Jon’s enjoyment, causing
him to choke out a gargling sound as he sort
of laughed while sort of gagging. But hey, if I
couldn’t forget some of his most disgustingly
inappropriate phrases—which all were about
sex—why not joke about it?

5
 PREFACE

“Ha! I know! So gross!” Jon agreed. “Honestly,

he’s lucky she just blew him off. I’ll bet a lot
of women would’ve called the cops. I mean,
that email could be a case study on how not to
speak to women, like, ever!”

The worst part was: our mutual client was ac-

tually a guy with A LOT going for him: success-
ful, smart, young, and fairly good looking. Still,
frustrations over his lovelife had become so
bad he sought the advice of not just one, but
TWO dating coaches. He paid both Jon and I for
private coaching and asked us to be harsh. (At
least he knew he needed it.)

We didn’t need his permission. Jon and I can

be the harshest of the harsh when doling out
advice—and for good reason. Harshness isn’t
just important; it’s a part of our job. Most guys
don’t realize how BADDDDDD they’re coming
off to women, which causes countless wom-
en to slip through their fingers. Ouch. There’s
nothing harsher than that.

6
 PREFACE

(But being described as “a serial killer trying to

write a romance novel” might be a pretty close
second.)

But there’s a silver lining. Guys who can stom-

ach, accept, and learn from harsh feedback are
the ones who quickly discover it’s not all bad
news. You see, because SO MANY guys have
SO MUCH room for improvement in how they
communicate with women, it’s a fast and easy
fix. It’s as simple as learning the “right words”—
words that turn women on—to use in sexual
situations. (As you’ll see, a “sexual situation”
isn’t always the moments leading up to sex…)

7
 PREFACE

2. Stop Talking at Women, You’re Turning Them Off

B
ut before we get to that, you need to
be aware of a myth—a popular, horri-
ble myth—that Hollywood and men’s
interest magazines have created. It’s a myth
that influences MOST men and only leads to
frustration and failure. In fact, this myth is so
insidious that a guy LITERALLY cannot learn at-
tractive communication if he believes it. That
myth is the belief that “lines” attract women—
specially “PICKUP LINES.”

Maybe you didn’t even realize it, but if you’re

like most guys, you believe in “lines.” Before
you learn anything, I need to set the record
straight once and for all: THERE ARE NO MAG-
IC LINES. Nope, none. There aren’t any secret
phrases that can “pick up” a woman. There’s
not even a story to memorize or a script to re-
cite that miraculously attracts women. Recited
lines ALWAYS fail because lines aren’t commu-
nication. Lines only get you talking AT women.

8
 PREFACE

If you want to crack the code of “sexual com-

munication,” half the battle is simply making
sure you’re always talking TO women. Obvious
as it probably sounds, let me define EXACTLY
what that means:

TALKING TO women is actively listening to

and considering what a woman says, and
then articulating a response that’s con-
gruent to your personality.

If you’re like a lot of guys, this sort of advice

might piss you off. (I know it pissed me off
when I first heard it.) I’ll bet a lot of guys are
thinking, “If that’s all it takes to attract wom-
en I wouldn’t need this report! I’m reading
because I’ve been TALKING TO WOMEN for DE-
CADES with LITTLE OR NO LUCK! I’m frustrated
as hell and JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT TO SAY!”

You might even feel mislead by the title of this

report. We promised “66 sexual trigger words”
and now it seems I’m pulling a bait-and-switch.

9
 PREFACE

It probably sounds like I’m suggesting that ANY

time you prepare what you’re going to say to
women that you’re relying on lines, which is
setting yourself up for failure.

Don’t worry, that’s NOT what I’m saying—at all.

You’re going to get all 66 words (and much
more). We’ll get to the words right after we fin-
ish destroying this myth of the pickup line. To
do that, let me explain why guys who “TALK AT”
women fail. It happens because of a tiny (but
toxic) oversight: they’re focused on the WRONG
QUESTION...

10
 PREFACE

3. Subtext is How She Decides to Sleep with You or Not

I
t’s not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.
Discovering HOW to talk to women is the
other half of the age-old mystery: “What
do woman want?” Well, that might be a stretch.
We men will probably never know exactly what
women want, but this report will equip you
with knowledge that’s almost as good: what
women want TO HEAR.

The 66 words of this report were chosen care-

fully, and for good reason. Bobby Rio and I (as
well as many of our former students) have
learned certain words—when used correctly—
“trigger” a woman’s sexual desire. It may sound
farfetched, but specific words can do more
than you probably ever imagined. Using the
right words let women know you’re an attrac-
tive guy because you understand women, prac-
tice discretion, and have rock-solid confidence
(and that’s just citing a few of the benefits).

Conversely, using the WRONG words can turn

11
 PREFACE

women off, lead to rejection, and make you the

laughingstock of two snarky dating instructors.
Maybe you’d never say something like “I want
to penetrate you” to a woman, but I’ll bet you
wouldn’t want Jon and I to analyze what you
said the last time you were in a sexual situa-
tion. I guarantee you unknowingly used some
unattractive words when bringing up sex.

That’s why this report is so important. Bobby

Rio and I choose 66 words we’ve painstaking-
ly silted out. We combined our knowledge of
dating dynamics and female psychology with
some good old-fashioned trial and error. What
makes these words unique is SUBTEXT, which is
the connotation of a word.

Another way to think of subtext is that which

lies just below the surface. Everything you say
has a subtext, which listeners are using to get
a sense of who you are. Everyone does this, all
of the time. For example, right now I’m writing
this preface in a crowded coffeeshop right near

12
 PREFACE

a local high school. Over my shoulder, I can

hear a conversation where one guy is explain-
ing to his buddy about how he’s training for a
marathon.

Even though I’m only half-listening, I’ve made

an assumption that the speaker is probably an
elite marathoner. It’s important to note, howev-
er, that never once did the speaker EVER state
this directly. Instead, I formed my impression
based on the subtext of the conversation, par-
ticularly his word choice. Here are some exam-
ples:

• Called his running shoes “trainers”

• Used the phrase “upping volume” to say
he’s running more
• Said a goal is “to come back on a negative
split”
• Expressed concern over “course attitude”

Since I ran cross-country for 8 years, these

words carried a lot of subtext for me. To the

13
 PREFACE

average listener, it’s just a guy talking about

getting ready to run a marathon. In fact, most
non-runners wouldn’t even “hear” the specific
running jargon because they’re not listening
for it.

It’s only when you’re part of the “in-group”

(think: a member of the sub-culture) does it
have more meaning. There’s A LOT of “embed-
ded information” in subtext, and when we can
“tune in” to it, we form a much faster—and
seemingly more accurate—impression of some-
one. While I never felt the speaker was “brag-
ging” or “showing off” his marathon abilities, I
do believe he’s a great runner. Conversely, I’ve
also met “wannabes” who try to “talk the talk,”
but subtext clues leave me feeling otherwise.

14
 PREFACE

4. You Have to Play so Play to Win

W
henever you’re having a conver-
sation with a woman you find at-
tractive, there’s a sexual subtext.
Even seemingly “innocent” conversations often
have sexual undertones. If they don’t, you’re
probably in the friend-zone (sorry). Often, how-
ever, only women understand this. Women are
always listening for subtext, even if they aren’t
consciously aware of it.

Ever hear a woman say, “There’s just something

about him” or “I don’t know what it is, but I
like him.” Recently I dated a girl who told me
repeatedly, “I don’t understand why I’m so at-
tracted to you. You’re completely NOT my type…
yet I can’t stop thinking of you!” Subtext can
have such a strong emotional pull on a woman
that it can override her logic.

I want you to use that to your supreme advan-

tage. If you don’t, it will be a major source of
your failures with women. Face it: you can’t es-

15
 PREFACE

cape subtext. If you’re playing the dating game,

you’re playing the subtext game. If you apply
what you learn in this report, you won’t just ac-
cept subtext—you’ll rejoice in it.

I didn’t intend to bog down this preface in the-

ory; yet here we are—almost 1,700 words lat-
er—and I still haven’t revealed any of the 66
words! So I’m going wrap this preface up with
a happy ending. If you’re curious what hap-
pened to the client who came to Jon and I, he
ended up just fine.

Once we tweaked his “sexual vocabulary” a bit,

demystified the theory behind “attractive sub-
text” (which you, too, now know after having
read this preface), and sent him on his way, he
quickly met and began dating the “girl of his
dreams,” a beautiful Eastern European model
whom he now lives with. There really is hope
for all of us. Enjoy this report, but enjoy your
newfound dating success even more.

16
INTRODUCTION

how to
use this
report
1. Understanding the Progression

T
his report is divided into 6 sections of
11 words each. Rather than overwhelm
you with a list of 66 words, we divided
them based on CONTEXT, or situations you’ll
find using a specific word most useful. The 6
contexts that make up the sections of this re-
port mirror the progression of a “sexual situ-
ation” from two strangers flirting (e.g., sexual
humor) all the way to establishing a BDSM re-
lationship* (e.g., sexual dominance).

It’s up to YOU to understand what context is

17
 PREFACE

appropriate, which depends heavily on com-

mon sense. Remember: most women aren’t
sexually aroused like men. It’s a much more
gradual, time-dependent feeling. Even if it’s an
overly simple metaphor, think of turning a vol-
ume knob on a stereo. If you want to turn up
the stereo, you increase the volume slowly. If
you jerk the knob too much too fast it will star-
tle your listeners.

Likewise, if you get too sexual too soon, it will

do more than just startle women. It’ll creep
them out, turn them off, and leave them not
wanting to be anywhere near you. Avoid need-
less rejections by simply respecting the volume
knob. Don’t rush her sexual feelings. Instead,
help ELICIT those feelings by turning her on
gradually, which often happens through the
subtext of certain trigger words.

18
 PREFACE

2. Getting the Most Out of All 66 Sexual Trigger Words

O
n first glance, some of the words that
made the list may seem…well…un-
derwhelming. A lot of the words may
seem like typical, run-of-the-mill words you al-
ready use everyday—even with women. That’s
what makes such words so effective. The 11
words in each section aren’t some abracadabra
love spell. Merely saying the words isn’t going
to do anything.

Instead, it’s all about using them in the right

context. It may seem like a minor shift, but if
you start using these sexual trigger words in
your conversations with women, you will be
AMAZED at how differently women respond to
you. It really is amazing what changing a few
words can do, but think about the elite mara-
thoner mentioned in the preface.

By changing just a few words (e.g., calling

sneakers “trainers,” referring to his runs as “vol-
ume”) he impressed me as a guy who probably

19
 PREFACE

excels at running. Likewise, by changing just

a few words, you can signal to women you’re
a guy who “gets it.” Get what? Gets how dating
works, gets how to be attractive women, gets
laid. You always want to be seen as a guy who
gets it.

Thus, don’t just skim the word lists; learn how

to use them. Each section also has a few short
paragraphs that clarify how to use the words
in context. Merely reciting words is talking AT
women whereas learning to use the words in
context gets you talk TO women. Keep that in
mind as you go through this guide and, more
important, when you’re interacting with wom-
en. Be a guy who GETS IT.

20
WORD LIST 1

SEXUALLY
HU M OROUS
1. COUGAR 6. COURTSHIP
2. LOVECHILD 7. MOVES
3. SLOPPY 8. BELLY BUTTON
4. WOMANLY 9. DREAMY
5. SHAMELESS 10. EVENT
[Link]

21
WORD LIST 2

SEXUALLY
Suggestive
12. CUDDLE 17. COZY
13. PILLOW-FIGHT 18. WARM
14. DREAM 19. TICKLISH
15. ALL-NIGHTER 20. FEELINGS
16. TROUBLE 21. LATER
2 2 .T H I S E V E N I N G

22
WORD LIST 3

SEXUALLY
Inviting
23. SPANKING 28. WHISPER
24. SWINGERS 29. FANTASIZE
25. NAUGHTY 30. SEXY
26. DELICIOUS 31. MAKE OUT
27. GRAZE 32. SECRET
33. SPOON

23
WORD LIST 4

SEXUALLY
AROUSING
34. TURN ON 6. HAIR-PULLING
35. THONG 7. TASTE
36. FETISH 8. HOT
37. DUNGEON 9. TEASE
38. KY 10. MOUTH
44. LICK

24
WORD LIST 5

SEXUALLY
Ex p l i c i t
45. INSIDE 50. SWALLOW
46. KINKY 51. ANAL
47. PUSSY 52. FUCK (adj.)
48. HARD 53. BAD
49. ASS 54. TIGHT
55. DRIPPING WET

25
WORD LIST 6

SEXUALLY
Dominant
56. WANT 61. OWN
57. BREAK 62. CHOKE
58. RESTRAIN 63. SLUT
59. SUBMIT 64. TIED UP
60. MAKE ME 65. FLOGGED
66. PUNISH

26
EXAMPLE LIST 1

SEXUALLY
HU M OROUS
How and When to use SEXUAL HUMOR?

T
he great thing about humor is that,
when done right, rarely comes off of-
fensive or creepy. If she’s laughing,
she’s probably not thinking, “How can I get this
guy away from me?!” Just the opposite, she
probably wants more!

That’s why using these 11 “playful” sexual trigger

words in the early stages works so well to get a
woman comfortable with the idea of sleeping with
you (or even just seeing you as a romantic pros-
pect).

27
 EXAMPLES

You may recognize some of these words from

texts in Magnetic Messaging because these trig-
ger words are SO under-the-radar you can even slip
them into your texts with women.

COUGAR: (Best used to playfully tease/flirt with

a woman slightly older than you…maybe by a
year or so) “You’re birthday is April 4th, 1982?
Hmmm, that makes you a year older than
me...sweet! I have a thing for hot COUGARS…”

LOVECHILD: (Great for suggesting you and her are

going to have sex in a very playful way) “You like
reading philosophy, too? Wow, if we had a
LOVECHILD he’d be a little Aristotle!”

SLOPPY: (Fun adjective to create a flirty vibe) “I

can’t even read your handwriting. You’re such
a SLOPPY girl!!”

WOMANLY: (Playful way to compliment a wom-

an’s femininity) “I don’t know what it is about…
maybe it’s just your WOMANLY charm.”

28
 EXAMPLES

SHAMELESS: (A way to describe being open and

direct with women that’s so truthful, it’s funny) “I
was supposed to meet my friend, but then I
decided to flirty SHAMELESSLY with you in-
stead.”

COURTSHIP: (Old-fashioned way to describe dat-

ing that women usually find funny) “We should
have a proper courtship before we exchange
Facebook information…don’t want to rush
into things too soon!”

MOVES: (Quirky way to describe dancing or oth-

er physical activities) “Have any good dance
moves?”

BELLY BUTTON: (Childish body part that usually

gets women giggling) “I have a sneaking suspi-
cion you have a really pretty BELLY BUTTON.”

DREAMY: (A nice adjective to use for quick humor,

best used in a cocky/playful way) “I know what

29
 EXAMPLES

you’re probably thinking, ‘That guy Bobby is

just so flippin’ DREAMY.’”

EVENT: (Over-the-top substitute for the word ‘date’

when suggesting you guys get together) “I know
it might sound like I’m just inviting you out
for coffee, but it’ll be better than a date…it’s
going to be an EVENT.”

HANDSY: (Silly way to talk about getting physical)

“If I get too handsy or whatever, you have my
permission to slap me.”

30
EXAMPLE LIST 2

SEXUALLY
SUGGESTIVE
How and When to be SEXUAL SUGGESTIVE?

O
nce you and a woman get a flirty rap-
port established, you can “up the
ante” with the sexual undertones of
the conversation. The trigger words you want
to use here aren’t too overt or obvious. These
trigger words are subtle. Not only does this
keep her from feeling disrespected or offend-
ed, it also demonstrates you understand how
to communicate sexuality discretely. That’s no
small thing; trust me!

While speaking suggestively can be humorous, it

31
 EXAMPLES

can also introduce a more serious tone to your in-

teractions. While a woman should be laughing and
enjoying herself, she also should take you seriously
as a sexual/romantic prospect.

Communicating in a sexually suggestive way—es-

pecially when using precise sexual trigger words—
is a seamless way to transition into setting a less
jokey (and more sexual) tone for the interaction.

Pay close attention to these 11 trigger words be-

cause that transition is where most students screw
up!

CUDDLE: (Perfect synonym for sex or sexual activi-

ty) “How good are you at CUDDLING?”

PILLOW-FIGHT: (Playful way to invite a woman

back to your place at the end of a date) “Forget
the after party, let’s have a PILLOW-FIGHT!”

DREAM: (Good stand-in for telling her you’ve been

fantasizing about her sexually without coming out

32
 EXAMPLES

and saying it) “I had the craziest DREAM last

night and you were in it…” (Pro tip: If she
asks what the dream was about, tease her
by refusing to tell. e.g., “Ohhh, I can’t tell you
here… children might be listening…”)

ALL-NIGHTER: (Another way to suggest “going all

the way” on a date) “I’m having a lot of fun…
Let’s keep it going… wanna do a round of Red
Bull and Vodkas and pull an ALL-NIGHTER?”

TROUBLE: (Adjective that invites her to show you

her “bad” side) “You like martinis? Uh oh, I can
already tell you’re TROUBLE.” (Bonus: You can
also nickname her a “TROUBLEMAKER.”)

COZY: (“Romantic” way to plant the idea of you

two together in an intimate setting) “I love a good
thunderstorm… I like how it makes you want
to stay inside, hide under a blanket, and get
COZY next to whoever you’re dating.”

WARM: (Vaguely can suggest body heat or sensu-

33
 EXAMPLES

al feelings) “My favorite thing about spring is

the way a WARM evening breeze instantly re-
minds me of my first kiss…”

TICKLISH: (Foolproof way to initiate the idea of

physical contact with her) “You look like the kind
of girl who’s really TICKLISH.”

FEELINGS: (Innocuous way to invoke her sensual

side) “What are your FEELINGS on (something
emotional like ‘making out with strangers’)?”

LATER: (Quick and easy way to ratchet up the sex-

ual tension, e.g., She asks, “I wanna hear about
your dream I was in…”) Smirk, pause, and finally
say, “hmmm…maybe LATER.”

THIS EVENING: (A bit more romantically “stylized”

way of asking her out) “What do you have go-
ing on THIS EVENING?” (Pro tip: If you’re com-
fortable teasing her in a cocky way, you can
add, “Aside going on a date with dreamy guys
named Rob.”)

34
EXAMPLE LIST 3

SEXUALLY
INVITING
How and When to use SEXUAL INVITATION?

W
hen you offer a woman a “sexual
invitation,” there’s no ambiguity—
she’s sure you want to sleep with
her! This scares a lot of guys because it also
means they’re vulnerable to a “harsh” rejection.
On the one hand, that’s true: the way a girl re-
jects when you’re just being a polite, non-sex-
ual gentlemen is much gentler than the rejec-
tions you’ll face when she knows you’re trying
to have sex with her!

Fear of such rejection makes a lot of guys too cau-

35
 EXAMPLES

tious and they either never make a sexual invi-

tation or, more common, they “water it down” by
using indirect words. You might not even realize
you’re doing this, but if you’re not using the right
trigger words, chances are you’re not fully convey-
ing a sexual invitation. Be honest: you probably
have lost girls because you were too wishy-washy
about bringing up sex.

Even more important than these 11 words is un-

derstanding this: no risk, no reward. You have to
play to win, which means potentially putting your-
self in an awkward situation if you rejected for
being “creepy” or “perverted.” If you sprinkle these
11 trigger words into your sexual invitations, you
should avoid that altogether. However, keep this
caveat in mind: unless you REALLY know what
you’re doing, hold off on the sexual invitations un-
til she’s very comfortable with you.

In other words, make sure you’ve sufficiently “test-

ed the waters” with sexual humor and suggestion
first. Usually that takes a few hours. That said, don’t

36
 EXAMPLES

wait too long to make sexual invitations, which

will ensure you a one-way trip to the friend-zone!
Moreover, when it’s time to bust out the sexually
inviting trigger words, don’t “beat around the bush.”
Speak with shameless confidence and take com-
fort in knowing the only way to WIN is to risk LOS-
ING.

SPANKING: (This is an excellent “transition” word

that combines sexual humor, suggestion, AND
invitation) “Keep that up and I might have to
SPANK you.”

SWINGERS: (Bringing up sexually risqué words

are another great way to “warm up” to more obvi-
ous sexual invitations) If looking at a selfie you
two just took together at a bar or restaurant
“We’re such a good looking couple… that’s
probably why that couple at the other ta-
ble keeps staring at us… they’re probably a
bunch of SWINGERS who’d love us to come to
one of their sex parties!”

37
 EXAMPLES

NAUGHTY: (A “go-to adjective” that dials up sexual

tension) She does a relatively “bad” but mi-
nor thing “You asked for water at McDonalds
and then filled it up with Diet Coke. Oh man,
you’re such a NAUGHTY girl. I might need a
note from my mom to hang out with you.”

DELICIOUS: (A more direct word but has

enough “deniability” to still be an invitation)
“I like your perfume… you smell absolutely
DELICIOUS.”

GRAZE: (An seemingly innocent word with such

sensual connotations is can be considered an in-
vitation) Run your finger up her arm gently “I
like how my fingertips feel as they GRAZE up
your arm.”

WHISPER: (Another innocent word with sensual

connotations) “The way you look in that dress…
wow … I just want to lean over this table and
WHISPER in your ear…”

38
 EXAMPLES

FANTASIZE: (A word loaded with sexual under-

tones so best if used playfully) If she playfully
teases you about something, like a very col-
orful shirt “Ha! You know you’re gonna be
FANTASIZING about me in this shirt later…”

SEXY: (Sort of cliché but if used in a unique way

can still be powerful) “You look all kinds of SEXY
tonight! God, even your elbows are turning
me on!”

MAKE OUT: (A throwback word that can illicit some

schoolgirl excitement if used correctly) “I hope
this isn’t too forward, but I have to confess…
I just want to MAKE OUT with you all night.”
(Pro tip: Roleplaying the “throwback” ampli-
fies the effect, e.g., “Seriously! I feel like I’m
back in 7th grade and just discovered that
girls are hot… I wanna pull moves out of the
middle school playbook and take you to a
dark movie theater, order us one soda with
two straws, sit in the back row, and MAKE
OUT with you until the credits roll!”

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 EXAMPLES

SECRET: (Most women are turned on by the dra-

ma and intrigue of secrets) “Can you keep a SE-
CRET?” (Pro Tip: Like the word DREAM, this
trigger word works best when you don’t im-
mediately tell her the secret. Tease her a bit!)

SPOON: (An amazing playful word that directly

communicates sexual interest while also keeping
things light and flirty) “Make-or-break question…
how you answer this question will determine
our entire future together… Ready? When
cuddling, are you the big SPOON or the little
SPOON?”

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EXAMPLE LIST 4

SEXUALLY
AROUSING
How and When to use SEXUAL AROUSAL?

I
f you’re pretty certain a woman has decid-
ed to sleep with you, it’s time to sexually
arouse her. In other materials, we’ve called
this special time “after the waypoint.” If you’re
like most guys (including us, back in the day),
you probably made the mistake of trying to
have sex as soon as you thought you could.

Your average guy is so ridiculously thirsty for sex

that he doesn’t want to waste a second if he thinks
he can get a woman into bed. Ironically, this is of-
ten what causes a woman to change her mind at

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 EXAMPLES

the last second (popularly known as “last minute

resistance”). No matter how “on” it may seem, sex is
never a guarantee. There’s no worse feeling than
blowing it right at the end, only because you tried
to rush her into bed.

Not only does such “impulsiveness” reek of des-

peration, it also proves a complete lack of knowl-
edge of a woman’s sexuality. For a woman, fore-
play doesn’t begin in the bedroom; it begins in her
head! Before things ever progress beyond kissing,
you should have captured her sexual imagination
with your words. We’ve cheery-picked 11 of our fa-
vorites, but these are only the tip of the iceberg.

That’s because sexual arousal is something you

should do all the time, with every girl, whenev-
er you’re about to have sex. Use these words with
your flings, your girlfriends, your fiancé, and even
your wife—especially your wife! Triggering a wom-
an’s sexual arousal gets her excited for sex, which
will make the sex infinitely better…for both of you!

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 EXAMPLES

TURN ON: (Great way to communicate your sexu-

al preferences and/or invite her to share what turns
her on) “God, when you kiss my neck like that
it’s such a TURN ON.”

THONG: (Most girls wear thongs when they think

they’re having sex, so by bringing it up you remind
her of that) “Why do I have a sneaking sus-
picion you have a sexy, little THONG under
those jeans?”

FETISH: (While this word may be a little strong, it

serves a similar purpose to “TURN ON” while also
showing you’re not uncomfortable talking about
sex) “If you keep kissing my neck like that
you’re going to give me a FETISH.”

DUNGEON: (While this may sound like a BDSM

word, it’s so farfetched and borderline humorous,
most girls will enjoy the sexual overtones but won’t
think you’re actually thinking about taking them to
a dungeon) “Welcome to my apartment, make
yourself at home… bathroom’s on your right

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 EXAMPLES

and the sex DUNGEON is the second door, to

your left…”

KY: (Anytime KY is involved in a group activity,

it’s probably sex, which can be good for planting
arousing ideas in her head) “We can go back to
your place, as long as you got KY!” (Warning:
If she gets offended or upset and/or calls
you out for mentioning KY, pretend you were
requesting it for personal use, e.g., “What? I
like to put it on my hands because I have dry
skin!”)

HAIR-PULLING: (Most women enjoy getting their

hair pulled, and so mentioning it beforehand of-
ten excites them) “You’re such a good girl… I
just want to buy you a box of chocolates and
flowers and say nice things to you… but then,
you’re also so sexy, you make me want to do
bad things… like bend you over and PULL
YOUR HAIR.”

TASTE: (The way a woman “tastes”—even just

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 EXAMPLES

her skin—is something only someone intimate

with her would know) “I have to confess, I can’t
stop thinking about my mouth on your skin. I
want to savor the way you TASTE.”

HOT: (While overused in most other contexts, if/

when used as an adjective to describe a state of
arousal, it can be very stimulating for women) “Just
being close to you is enough to get me HOT.”

TEASE: (Almost every guy overlooks sexual teas-

ing, but it drives women absolutely crazy…in a
good way) You and a woman are making out
on your bed, partly clothed and you pause,
pull away for a moment, and say, “Part of me
just wants to throw you onto this bed, pin
your arms over your head, and enjoy every
inch of you…” Slowly move in and start kiss-
ing her neck “…but then another part of me
wants to take my time with you, appreciate
every little twist and turn of your perfect
body, and TEASE you until you beg for it.”

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 EXAMPLES

MOUTH: (So much of the foreplay that turns wom-

en on involves the mouth—and yes, that includes
talking!) “I could kiss you all night… you have
such a soft, welcoming little MOUTH.”

LICK: (You can never lick—or even just talk about

licking—a woman enough before sex) “I could
easily get addicted to LICKING you.” (Pro Tip:
This also sets you up for a little embedded
follow up humor to lighten the mood for
a moment, e.g., “And then I’d have to go to
meetings for Lickers Anonymous… try and
quit… and I’d enviably relapse because…
goddamn… you just taste so good!”

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EXAMPLE LIST 5

SEXUALLY
E X PLICIT
How and When to be SEXUALLY EXPLICIT?

T
his and the next category of words—
sexually dominant—should be ap-
proached with caution…especially for
less experienced guys. There are VERY few situ-
ations in which using sexually explicit or sexu-
ally dominant language would be appropriate.
These trigger words are to be used during sex.
Keep in mind as well that some girls simply DO
NOT enjoy the following 22 trigger words. Make
sure that 1.) she feels VERY comfortable with
you and knows you reasonably well, and 2.)
she’s sexually open and enjoys “dirty talk.”

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 EXAMPLES

With that warning in mind, I’d encourage ev-

ery guy reading to try sexually explicit trigger
words at some point. You’d be surprised how
much it can enhance sex for your partner. Ob-
viously getting into the specific psychology
of sex is far beyond the scope of this report,
but it’s important to note that how you treat/
talk to a woman in bed DOES NOT reflect how
you treat/view her everywhere else. Most guys
don’t understand that, and so they never at-
tempt “dirty talk” because they’re afraid they
might offend or degrade a woman.

While I can certainly respect that, and it defi-

nitely was outside my comfort zone at first as
well, I was pleasantly surprised at how much
better it made sex. To this day, I’ll usually only
use sexually explicit trigger words with a girl
I’m dating, because it’s important you’re both
on the same page. However, doing so has made
sex so exciting and fresh, both my girlfriend
and I want it MORE as time goes on. Amazing

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 EXAMPLES

how just a few trigger words can keep the pas-

sionate spark burning red-hot over the course
of a long relationship!

INSIDE: (Said during sex in reference to her body)

“It feels so good to be INSIDE you.”

KINKY: (Playful way to escalate the sexual ten-

sion) “I never realized you were so KINKY.”

PUSSY: (Great dirty talk word a lot of girls enjoy

hearing) “Your PUSSY feels like heaven.”

HARD: (A woman obviously wants to turn her man

on and so telling her how sexually attracted you
creates excitement) “I am so fucking HARD for
you right now.”

ASS: (Another “everyday” word that takes on a new

meaning in the bedroom) “I love fucking you
from behind and spanking that pretty little
ASS of yours.”

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 EXAMPLES

SWALLOW: (Another way to talk about oral sex in a

dominant way) “I want you to SWALLOW every
last drop of me.”

DEEP: (May push the comfort zone of some wom-

en, but can be a powerful word to say during sex)
“I’m so DEEP inside you, baby.”

FUCK (adj.): (Used as an adjective, it takes on

a dirtier and more exciting meaning) “The way
move is hot as FUCK.”

BAD: (During passionate sex, dropping the B word

can turn things up even another notch) “You’re so
BAD, baby. I’m gonna have to spank you.”

TIGHT: (Telling a girl she’s tight is the female

equivalent to her telling you how big your penis is)
“You’re so TIGHT being inside you feels like
heaven.”

WET: (Remind her of what you’re doing to her, too)

“You’re so WET.”

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EXAMPLE LIST 6

SEXUALLY
D O M INANT
How and When to use SEXUAL DOMINANCE?

T
hink of these last 11 words as your
“special ops” trigger words. You only
use them in very unique situations, but
when you do, they REALLY get the job done.
Even 5 or 10 years ago, a word list like this
probably would have been seen as freakish—
some sexual deviant’s fantasy that no self-re-
specting woman would ever want to hear, let
alone get turned on by.

Times have changed…and for the better. With the

popularity of books like 50 Shades of Grey, men

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 EXAMPLES

and women are becoming more comfortable ex-

pressing aspects of their sexuality that was once
considered taboo. Couples can experiment with
dominance, discipline, bondage, S&M, and alterna-
tive sexual practices without fearing they might be
deemed social outcasts.

As we already said, even if BDSM (bondage, disci-

pline, sadism, masochism) is gaining more main-
stream acceptance, it is still a VERY aggressive sex-
ual practice. Trigger words associated with sexual
dominance are not for everyone and you want to
be very careful to use them on the right girls, at the
right times. You should have known a woman for
a minimum of 1-3 months before introducing sex-
ually dominant trigger words (unless she makes it
clear she’s into that).

Moreover, you should only use these trigger words

if you, too, are into extreme sexual dominance. As
a man, we all enjoy dominance to some extent;
the act of sex with a woman is an act of dominat-
ing her. Even the most vanilla missionary sex has

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 EXAMPLES

a man on top of a woman, her legs spread before

him, as he repeatedly shoves his erect penis into
her body. To say she’s “surrendering herself” is fit-
ting. She’s giving a man the ultimate gift: access to
the inside of her body.

If this is starting to sound a bit heavy on the mi-

sogyny, let me just say that I respect women and
categorically support gender equality (I actual-
ly took classes in feminism during grad school!).
What I’m not, however, is some white knight “nice
guy” who mistakes equality for sameness. Men and
women are inherently different, both physically
and psychologically. To be a great lover, not only
must you recognize the differences, you also need
to leverage them.

Doing so led me to aspects of BDSM, specifical-

ly sexual dominance. As a disclaimer, I am by no
means an “expert” on sexual dominance; as such
the advice I have to offer is limited and based
largely on personal experience. I intended this ex-
tended introduction more as encouragement to

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 EXAMPLES

venture a bit outside your sexual comfort zone. All

this was once much outside my comfort zone too,
but I kept an open mind, experimented, and am
VERY glad I did.

It’s about more than just making sex better. When

you’re comfortable expressing sexual dominance,
you attain a great sense of sexual confidence. Even
if you just dabble on the outer limits of sexual
dominance, seeing how much it excites and pleas-
es women is both eye opening and empowering.
The 11 examples below are short and meant only
to whet your appetite. If any of this appeals to you,
or you’re just curious to learn more, I’d highly rec-
ommend doing your own research on BDSM and
sexual dominance.

Just one final disclaimer/reminder: powerful as

this stuff is please also practice caution and dis-
cretion. Sexual dominance is NOT a very “politically
correct” idea and there is still a lot of taboo around
it. If done recklessly, you could very easily end up
sounding like “a serial killer trying to write a ro-

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 EXAMPLES

mance novel.”

WANT: (Used as a command) “I WANT you on

all fours so I can fuck you doggy style.”

BREAK: (Describes the aftermath of dominant sex)

“When I get you home, I’m going to throw
you on the bed and BREAK you over my mat-
tress.”

RESTRAIN: (Trigger word associated with punish-

ment for the submissive) “I’m going to have to
RESTRAIN you so I have your full attention.”

OBEDIANCE: (Submitting is an acceptance of

dominance) “If you don’t OBEY me I’ll have to
put you over my knee and spank you like my
little whore.”

MAKE ME: (When conveying your sexual drive,

which feeds your need for dominance) “We’re out
in public but when you talk like you MAKE
ME want to drag you into the nearest bath-

55
 EXAMPLES

room, push you against a stall, bend you over,

and fuck the shit out of you.”

OWN: (States your dominance over a part of her

body) “I OWN your pussy baby… it’s all mine…
don’t even think about having another cock
inside you… this pussy belongs to me.”

WHORE: (A word used in dirty talk) “I love the

way you look with my cock in your mouth…
just like my little whore.”

SLUT: (Another word used during dirty talk) “Look

how wet you are… you were thinking about
my cock all day weren’t you, you little SLUT?”

BLINDFOLD: (An experience some women find

exciting) During sex “You should be BLIND-
FOLDED for what we’re going to do next…”

FLOGGER: (A sex “toy” some women like and it

more severe than a spanking) “You’ve been such
a naughty little slut today I’m going to have

56
 EXAMPLES

to take out the FLOGGER.”

PUNISH: (Obviously much of BDSM involves pun-

ishment) “What a bad girl you’ve been… Time
for your PUNISHMENT…”

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AFTERWORD

IT
PULLING
ALL TOGETH e r
As a BONUS we’ve included a section from the UNLOCK HER LEGS
course describing a psychological conversation technique called SEX-
UAL SNOWBALLING, which is a perfect complement to the SEXUAL
TRIGGER WORDS you just learned and sets up opportunities for you
to slip in trigger words when using sexual snowballing. ENJOY!

Sexual Snowballing: Trigger Questions

W
henever you’re having a conver-
sation with a woman on a date,
you should know where you
want that conversation to go. Often guys
talk to women without a purpose, just ask-
ing questions at random and hoping that

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 PULLING IT
TOGETHER
they’ll somehow end up in bed with her.

Whenever you’re looking to seduce a wom-

an, you should know where to direct a con-
versation. As such, when it’s time to bring up
sex, you obviously want the conversation to
move in a sexual direction. You can’t, how-
ever, just bring up sex abruptly. If you blurt a
statement or question that’s too sexual too
soon, it’ll come off creepy and awkward.

Therefore, you want to ask “innocent” ques-

tions at first. That way, she won’t object or
feel awkward. Such questions are:

• How old were you when you had your

first real boyfriend?
• Do you remember your first kiss?
• Have you ever been in love?

Notice, all of these questions are G-rated.

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 PULLING IT
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No girl will get offended if you ask her these
sorts of things about herself. Also, when an-
swering, a woman won’t just give a matter-
of-fact response; instead she’ll answer your
question with a story. She’ll usually describe
her first kiss, first boyfriend, or first time she
fell “in love.” Moreover, she’ll usually ask you
the same question in return. You should an-
swer the question with a story of your own,
describing the experience as vividly as you
can.

What this does is it gets a woman in the

“headspace” for sex. Keep in mind: you hav-
en’t said anything sexual yet, but the feel-
ing she associates with these memories is
sexual. Feel free to riff on a question for 5 or
10 minutes—you’re in no rush! It’s more im-
portant to stoke a woman’s emotions than
to simply rush through the sexual sugges-
tion questions.

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Though, once you’ve gone back and forth

for a few minutes on early memories of rela-
tionships, kisses, and love, then it’s time to
up the ante a bit. Mid-level sexual sugges-
tion questions may include:

• Have you ever made-out with a strang-

er?
• How old were you when you lost your
virginity?
• Did you ever have a one-night stand?
• Have you ever kissed a girl?

These questions are more sexually charged.

While these questions aren’t explicit, they
do move things in a more sexual direction. If
a girl refuses to answer these questions, or
answers in an uninterested way, then she’s
probably not open to sex with you. That may
be because she’s not a very sexual person, or

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TOGETHER
because she’s not attracted to you enough.

If, however, she does answer the questions,

you’re moving in a very good direction. A girl
who answers any of these questions—espe-
cially answering when she lost her virgin-
ity—trusts you sexually. She’s confiding in
you, opening up to you, and that’s the foun-
dation upon which a healthy and satisfying
sexual relationship is built upon.

Moreover, her answers to these questions

will tell you a lot about her. A girl who tells
you she’s a virgin is probably much differ-
ent (sexually) from a girl who says she loves
kissing girls as well as guys. For more re-
served women, you may not have sex with
them that night, or even that week. But you
can trust that if she answers these sorts of
questions, you will have sex with her even-
tually. (As long as you don’t do anything

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creepy or weird in the meantime!)

In the best-case scenario, a woman will en-

joy telling you about her sexuality and ask
you about yours. If it seems like things are
going well at this point, you want to “snow-
ball” the sexual chemistry even more. Here’s
where you should ask R-rated—or even X-rat-
ed—questions. For example, some questions
you might ask are:

• What’s the best sex you’ve ever had?

• What’s your favorite sexual position?
• Where’s the craziest place you’ve ever
had sex?
• What turns you on?

As you ask these questions, you should also

escalate your physical contact with her. For
example, if you’re sitting across a table from
her, you should hold her hand (either above

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or below the table). If you’re sitting next to
her on a couch, you should put your arm
around her. Once you’re embracing her, you
should caress her skin as you listen to her
answer your questions. When you answer
her questions, you should give her an op-
portunity to caress you.

If a woman answers these sorts of questions

and reciprocates physical contact, she’s
made the decision to have sex with you.
Again, she may not act on that decision that
night, but you can be sure she’s decided that
you will be the next guy she sleeps with. At
that point, enjoy listening to her story. Enjoy
sharing yours. Don’t do anything stupid and
you’ll be sleeping with her very soon.

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