The Consequence of Divorce on Parents’ Life: The Case of Kabridahar University Students

Getnet Tefera Melese

Department of Psychology, College of Education and Behavioral Science,

Kabridahar University, Kabridahar, Ethiopia

Abstract

Marriage and separation are social issues as well as private concerns. Separation is a major life
stressor for the individuals involved, with potentially strong negative consequences for the
mental and physical health of all members of the family. The basic purpose of this assessment is
to provide detail information about the effect of divorce on families’ life. Children failures of
schools, engage in addiction, commit sex before marriage and develop delinquent behavior in the
community they live in. Crimes, theft and immoral acts of conduct stem from divorced families.
Divorce leads custodial parents to experience major changes in the their lives including a change
in residential arrangements, economic disadvantage, loneliness associated with social network
changes, and role strain associated with the task overload that results from having to care for
children and work outside the home. In divorced couple’s residential arrangements, economic
status, social networks and role demands lead to deterioration in physical and mental health for
the majority of individuals immediately following separation. Despite most societies of the world
have negative attitude towards divorce, there are individuals who advocate marital dissolution
for the reason that it results in various positive effects on their overall well-beings. the most
causes for divorce are communication problem, lack of conflict management skills, falling out of
love and lack of commitment to marriage financial problems, alcohol addiction, lack of maturity
and physical abuse on the other hand, least causes are women education, having differences or
rearing children, leaving home for a long time and lack of cooperation for household tasks were
the least causes of divorce compared to others respectively. A lot has to be done before pairs are
going to divorce.

Keywords: Divorce, Marriage, life, parents, childre

1.1. Background of the study

Divorce is labeled as a decline of family life (Lamanna and Riedmenn, 2000). Some scholars
even say that no emptiness on earth can compare with the loss of love. The condition is
recognized as a social problem because significant number of marriages is ending in divorce.
Because many marriages are ending in divorces, divorce is almost becoming the expected
outcome of marriage. (Kelly and Emery, 2003).Parents used to stay longer in marriage for the
interest of their children’s welfare even if they faced marital problems. But now so many couples
end their marriage even for a simple reason and become single parents. No matter how single
parent deals with this challenge, the consequences are far weightier as compared to children of
parents living together (Gardner 2008). Divorce affects the couple who is ending their marriage,
and affects their children as well. In US approximately one million children are affected by
divorce each year (U.S. Census Bureau, 2002). Research has shown that parental divorce has
many negative effects on children (Lewis & Sammons, 2001). Academic failure, poor peer
relationship and lack of commitment in relationship are some effects of divorce on children
(Lewis & Sammons, 2001).These problems do not diminish overtime and continue throughout
adolescence and into adulthood (Kim, 2011). Data from the US National Center for Health
Statistics state that compared children from single parent and remarried families have more than
twice chances to experience emotional and behavioral problem (Doolittle & Deutsch, 1999).
When we come to Africa, according to Monama (2011), in 2007 about 52 percent of African
urban parents are single. Data released by Statistics South Africa revealed a steady increase in
the divorce rate from 1997 to 1999. However, this has begun to decrease, with the last reported
rates being 582 divorces per 100 000 married couples in 2001 (Locoh, 2001). In South Africa it’s
reality that one out of every two marriages ends in divorce (Collins, 2003). These are frightening
statistics not only because it points to the breakdown of the family nucleus, but also because it
means that 50 percent of young people come from broken homes. According to statistics of
South Africa, (2005), 32484 divorces were recorded in 2005.
1.2. Rationale of the study

Separation has negative impact on the divorcees and their children socially, economically and
psychologically. There is no organization aimed at provision of services for individuals and
couples in the process of pre marriage, divorce and remarriage except few attempts by religious
institutions.

Marital and divorce are social issues as well as private concerns. The success and failure
of our marriage have consequences beyond our personal lives. Individuals at the crossroads of
divorce help not only just themselves and their families but also their neighborhoods,
communities, and nation when they are able to repair their relationships and establish a healthy,
stable marriage (Tizita, 2013). Divorce has become a serious problem; challenging the
establishment of the family in a routine manner and causing severe impacts on the emotional and
mental health of the individual especially, women.

In Ethiopia parents in general provide affections and care for their children as much as
possible. However when divorce happen parents preoccupied by their own problem so that the
adolescents feel alone and they faced a lot of problem which may affect their personality as well
as their self-esteem. The rising rate of divorce in Ethiopia (Wondimu, 2007), means that many
children are affected by the trauma of divorce.

1.3. Objective of the study

1.3.1. General objective

The basic purpose of this of this review is to provide detail information about the effect of
divorce on parents’ life.

1.3.2. Specific objectives

 To examine the effects of divorce on families life

 The consequence of divorce on children’s life

 Explain the causes for divorce

 Find out the positive sides of divorce

These reviews were collected from different national and international published materials. 2.
Review on the effects of divorce on family life here below the effect of divorce were clearly

2.1. The consequence of divorce on children

According to Adamu and temesgen (2014), Children dropout schools, engage in addiction,
commit sex before marriage and develop delinquent behavior in the community they live in.
Crimes, theft and immoral acts of conduct stem from divorced families.

Shahram, Ali and Ghoobad (2012) cited in Adamu and temesgen (2014), identified the
following points as possible consequences of divorce on children's psychological and social
phenomena. These are: a) Anti-social behavior and delinquency in children and adolescents, b)
Prostitution, especially in the poverty and ignorance c) Abuse of women, men and children and
using children in drug distribution and other illegal activities, d) Aggression and maladjustment
in children, and stray away from their home, e) Academic failure, suicidal husband or wife or
children, f) Reduction in the desire to marry other people, especially children of divorced
families, and g) Children lose their confidence and do not imagine good future.

The effects of divorce for children have been extensively studied in Western nations.
Outcomes examined include, but are not limited to, academic achievement, health, behavioral
problems, and emotional well-being. Researchers have generally found that divorce has a
deleterious effect on children’s outcomes (Amato 2000, 2001, 2010; Amato and Keith 1991b;
Frisco, Muller and Frank 2007; Furstenberg and Kiernan 2001; Sun and Li 2002). Furthermore,
the consequences of divorce are long-lasting, extending into adulthood. Adults whose parents are
divorced have lower educational attainment, greater levels of depression, lower income levels,
worse physical health, and a higher likelihood of ever being divorced (Amato and DeBoer 2001;
Amato and Sobolewski 2001; Wolfinger et al. 2003). It is unclear to what extent the results of
these studies are applicable for children living in Sub-Saharan Africa. It is quite possible that
divorce can affect children similarly, regardless of their country of residence.
A difference may be made between the short, medium and long term effects of divorce which are
described below (Amato, 1993; Amato & Kieth, 1991a; Amato & Kieth, 1991b, Wallerstein,
1991).

Short term consequences. For the 2 year period immediately following divorce, most children
show some adjustment problems. Boys tend to display conduct problems and girls tend to
experience emotional problems.

Medium term consequences. The impact of divorce on children between the 3rd and 10th year
following divorce may be statistically expressed in two ways: (1) as differences between the
average or mean level of well-being or maladjustment of children of divorce compared with the
mean level of well-being or maladjustment in intact families; (2) as the percentage of children of
divorce who show adjustment difficulties. The mean level of maladjustment has consistently
been found to be worse for children of divorce in comparison with those from intact families on
a variety of measures of adjustment including conduct difficulties, emotional problems,
academic performance, self-esteem and relationships with parents. This has led to the erroneous
conclusion by some interpreters of the literature that divorce always has a negative effect on
children.

Long term consequences. In adult life a small proportion of individuals from families where
divorce has occurred have difficulty making and maintaining stable marital relationships, have
psychological adjustment difficulties and attain a lower socio-economic level in comparison with
adults who have grown up in intact families.

2.2. Divorce on families

Divorce results different consequences on the economic wellbeing of men and women. A study
by Bogale (2008) revealed that women experience an income decline of about 30% while male
experienced about a 10% drop in income. Three years after the failure of their marriages,
divorced women experience greater adversity than their married peers. During the first year after
divorce, custodial mothers were more anxious, depressed, angry, and self-doubting than were
married mothers. They also showed comparatively less affection to their children, communicated
less with them, punished them more, and were more inconsistent in their use of discipline. In a
similar way, Kotwal and Prabhakar (2009) found that divorced mothers experienced greater
number of stressful events such as demotions, layoffs, accidents, critical illnesses and problems
with their own parents than did married women.

Divorced mothers are also trapped in a vicious cycle of financial problems and other
stressful life events. The results revealed that women tend to suffer from a feeling of rootlessness
and lack of identity after divorce. This is especially true of women whose identity was formerly
associated with that of their husbands. Studies reveal that most divorced women in Ethiopia are
house wives and these divorced women gain custody of children without child support (Semhal,
2007). Serkalem (2006) also studied the causes and the socioeconomic impacts of divorce on
women and their children and concluded that divorced women in Ethiopia are economically
weak and usually engage in informal sectors like selling home made products (Tella, Arekie,
Injera, etc), collecting wood and retailing activities after divorce. This makes their lives
miserable. These single mothers are usually stressed. Serkalem‟s finding also revealed that the
social relationship of divorced women does not enable them to get the moral and economical
support they need.

Life changes Divorce leads custodial parents to experience major changes in the their lives
including a change in residential arrangements, economic disadvantage, loneliness associated
with social network changes, and role strain associated with the task overload that results from
having to care for children and work outside the home.

Health Changes in separated couples residential arrangements, economic status, social networks
and role demands lead to deterioration in physical and mental health for the majority of
individuals immediately following separation. However, for most people these health problems
abate within two years of the divorce.

Mood Swings- Both men and women suffer extreme emotional liability in the period leading up
to separation and for the two year post-separation period. An awareness of the opportunities for a
new way of life and escape from the emotional pain of chronic marital discord both lead to
periods of elation. The loss of a familiar way of life, the loss of a longstanding partner and a fear
that alone one may not meet the extraordinary challenges that go with being a single person or a
single parent commonly are associated with episodes of depressed mood.
Identity Problems- For females in particular, divorce is associated with a crisis of identity. Prior
to separation many women define themselves in terms of their husbands or their children. Also
females may rely on their husbands to progress a social network of friends. After separation,
women who have relied on their husbands for self-definition find that they practice confusion
about their identity. They have to redefine their self-concept in terms of their own role and
develop their own social network. Women who have jobs outside the home experience fewer
identity problems in the aftermath of separation.

2.3. Positive sides of separation

As shown by a range of researches, despite most societies of the world have negative perception
towards divorce, there are individuals who advocate marital dissolution for the reason that it
results in various positive effects on their overall well-beings. Even if individuals pass through
the most unhappy and turbulent situation, there are also moments that help them to see the
positive sides of marital breakup. As research findings show, such individuals become more
optimistic about their lives in the aftermath of divorce (Boon, 2005).

There are various factors that make the disintegration of marital union favorable for
individuals who undergo through the divorce process which enable them maintain their well-
being.

According to Boon (2005), although the negative aspects of divorce for women have been
overemphasized, divorce also has beneficial effects particularly if their marriage was abusive and
violent that provides a solution to escape from a dissatisfying and abusive marriage.

Likewise, it is shown that individuals after marital disintegration eventually feel relief
from a violent relationship. This is because their marital breakup stops the tension and the
emotional strain they used to experience in their offensive marriage. Hence, the ending of
problematic relationships leads to an improvement in individuals‟ psychological and
physiological wellbeing (Gomez, n.d).

In addition, studies have revealed that most women in the aftermath of marital disruption
achieve enhanced personal growth that leads to an important psychological functioning. Some
divorced women become fearless and spirited as they become released and are able to use the
situation to start an important stage of emotional growth. Similarly, Writer (2010) pointed out
that divorce allows women to interact with the society freely and to raise their children in their
own ways without being dictated by their husbands. Furthermore, in consequence of the divorce,
women are less occupied to their husbands‟ disposition and needs and they got the freedom to
spend time alone in their own space. Studies also indicate that divorced women report greater
self-rule in their lives than married persons (Boon, 2005).

Moreover, women following divorce are able to experience their sense of autonomy that
make them free from unwanted relationships and allows them to heal from their grievances and
to move on with their lives as a result of the ending of marital relationship. The other positive
impact of divorce is that it helps divorcees to revitalize themselves. As indicated by different
studies, following divorce individuals are able to entertain themselves without restriction, to be
involved in whatever they like and to forming new social networks (Gomez, n.d).

2.4. Causes of divorce

In addition Ambert, (2009), put the following summary points as a cause for divorce. This are:
The first four years are the riskiest for marriages: Living together before marrying is associated
with an enhanced risk of subsequent marriage breakdown. However, this enhanced risk is not
due to premarital cohabitation but to the characteristics of those who cohabit.

Second and subsequent marriages following divorce have a slightly greater risk of breakdown
than first marriages. Women are more likely than men to initiate divorce and to end the marriage.
Women appear to have fewer doubts than men about their separation.

According to Adamu and Temesgen, the most causes for divorce are communication problem,
lack of conflict management skills, falling out of love and lack of commitment to marriage
financial problems, alcohol addiction, lack of maturity and physical abuse on the other hand,
least causes are women education, having differences or rearing children, leaving home for a
long time and lack of cooperation for household tasks were the least causes of divorce compared
to others respectively

Schaefer, (2004) mentions the following as a few of the factors. First, liberal divorce laws, i.e.
no-fault divorce laws, allowing a couple to end their marriage without fault on either side.
Second, seeing divorce as a practical opinion for newly formed family not to have many
children.

3. Conclusions
 Divorce results different negative consequences on parents life.

 Divorce results physical problems among couples and their children

 Psycho-social and Mental problems among couples and their children

 Economic problems among couples and their children

 Divorce results Academic problems among children

 Divorcé has also positive side which is relief from chaotic relationship.
 Living together before marrying, Second and subsequent marriages, communication
problem, lack of conflict management skills, falling out of love and lack of commitment
to marriage financial problems, alcohol addiction, lack of maturity and physical abuse.
4. Implications Based on the reviews collected from different researches, the reviewer for
warded the following implication.
 As a different finding indicates the rate of divorce is growing rapidly in the world in
general and escalating in developing countries like Ethiopia. So, due consideration should
have to be taken to decrease this number. From this in courts different mechanism should
have to be taken to keep couples marriage like marriage counseling.
 Currently marriage is becoming very simple for most individuals than before mean they
are simply following their current love which might not be true love. In psychology true
love is the combination of passion, commitment and intimacy. Without these variables
we cannot say they do have complete love. So working on the backgrounds of those
coupes relationship plays indispensable role to save couples marriage.
 Spiritual institutions plays significant role in marriage. As marriage is a big institution,
and have good contact with their religious fathers, the problems which were very difficult
can be solved.
 Awareness creation is very important in saving couples marriage. Providing psycho
education that is the teaching the society importance of marriage and the physical, social
psychological, and economic disadvantages of divorce might help especially illiterate
communities.
 Professionals from psychology, sociology, business and economics, health are very
prone to provide information for our communities through different projects and other
activities.
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