Considerations of Parenthood pasecrives «+ Discuss the changes that parenthood brings. «+ List questions couples should consider before deciding on parenthood. Parenthood Brings Changes [Any person who becomes a mother or father of a biological or an adopted child enters into parenthood, the state of being @ purent, Having a child brings dramatic and long-lasting changes to every parent's life. Some of these changes involve joy and deep satisfaction, Other charges can be difficult to deal with, ‘especially when pazents are unprepared for them. New Responsibilities Raising a child is more than just a day-to-day assignment. Its a lifelong commitment. A child’s needs for physical care, finan- al support, love, and guidance continue until adulthood. Being fa parent means having a corstant concern for the present and future welfare of another human being. Once they become par ens, people are no longer able to consider only their own wants and needs when making choices and planning forthe futur. For firsttime parents, thase new responsibilities can seem overwhelming. Good management is the key to fulfling these responsibilities. New parents need to manage their time, money, ‘energy, knowledge, and skill in meeting their responsibilities. ‘They also may call on family, friends, and community resources for help and support. SECTION 2 TERMS. To LEM parenthoodAbig part of beings parents accopting responsibilty forthe his welre= not just a few ttays or wes, bu for mary years Changes in Lifestyle [New parents face important adjustments in their day-to-day living. Caring for a child—especially a newborn baby—takes 2 surprising amount of time and energy. A newborn must be every few hours around the clock, in addition to being diapered, bathed, played with, and comforted. When you add laundry and other household chores, it's not hard to see why new parents feel they have no time for themselves. With a child of any age, parents are faced with limits on their personal freedom. This is an especially difficult adjustment for new parents, Suddenly, it's not so easy to go anywhere on the spur ofthe moment. Emotional Adjustments Parenthood, with its changes in lifestyle and new responsi bilities, requires a number of emotional adjustments! Going, through so many changes at once is stressful in itself. It takes time for new patents to sort through their conflicting feelings land grovs accustomed to their new role. (Most new parents are happy, proud, ancl excited. However, most also experience a variety of more difficult and confusing feelings, Common reactions include the following: + Anxiety about the baby and how to care for him or her. + Fear of not being a good parent.+ Frustration a the loss of personal freedom and the addition of new responsibilities + Loneliness and isolation for spending most ofthe time at home with the baby. + Doubts about the decision te become a parent + Worry over financial matters. + Jealousy of the baby and theattention he or she gets. + Depression related to exhaustion or tothe physical changes ‘of pregnancy and birth Each new parent's attitude and individual situation afect his ‘or her ability to handle these emotional adjustments. The adjust- ‘ments, of course, are easier for parents who are prepared for these reactions and who understand that they are normal. With the patience and support of family members and friends, most new parents eventually resolve their conflicting feelings. They are able to get over the rouga spots and enjoy the positive aspects of parenthood Changes in Relationships When a child isbom or adopted, the parents have the unique experience of getting fo knort a new amily member. At the same Hime, the Parente ate likely to experience changes in the way they interact with each ofey with other family members, ‘with riers. This is especie trae for first-time parents. There's no doubt thatthe bith ofa baby can bea wonderful time for new parents. Howere, it can also cause problems between them. New parents arelikely to be physically exhausted and under emotional stress. Suddenly they are faced with new ‘oles new worries, and a baby who demands a great deal of fime and energy. All these can puta tan on the parents relationship Parents who are annlow or frustrated sometimes take ont thee feelings on ther spouse Without patience and understand- ing on both sides ofthe rationship, tempers may flare. A mar- Hage may als slfer when one or both partners are so involved ‘with child care that they neg eachother Money problems are another source of colic Mary new parents need more living space ata tine when expenses or docors, baby items and child. sara eyr ene prea et cate are already adding up 2 Bet ou lf the aby gta he “The couples who adjust mos easly during the early dificult Lense worst he couple fine are those who plan carefully They reed books and articles govosahe ie rela?” an parenting and childcare. Tey lak to family members or fends wins have been through the experience. Many fake par ening orci care cases before or ater the baby aival Like the rlationship between new parents, the parent rela tionships with family and friends also undergo changes. New Parents usually find they have litle time or freedom forthesocial life they once enjoyed. They may also feel they have less in common with some of their friends than before. New friend- ‘Ships may develop with other parents who can understand and share their experiences. “A new child brings new roles to extended family members— ‘grandparent, unt, uncle, cousin, pethaps sister or brother. Like {he child’s parents, these other family members may have to ‘adjust to their new roles. For example, a couple may feel thatthe ‘well-meaning advice offered by the baby’s grandparents is a crit- jeism of their own ability to care for the child. They may resent ‘what they see as interference in their decisions. Meanwhile, the ‘grandparents may feel huct that their offers of advice are reject fed. Sometimes the situation is the opposite. Grandparents may feel overburdened if a child’s parents expect them to provide ‘more help than they ean manage. ‘On the positive side, many new parents feel that having a child brings them closer to their own parents. For the first time, they truly understand what being a parent is ike. Grandparents and other relatives can share their experiences with the new par- tents and give help, advice, and support. ‘When there are already children inthe family, the arrival of new baby can bring on jealousy and misbehavior. Parents and other close family members need to be understanding and pro- ‘vide special attention and love. ‘The Rewartls of Parenthood In spite ofall the adjustments and problems involved, par- ‘enthood can bring many joys. Nothing is quite like a baby’s first smile or a hug from a three-year-old, Parents discover special feelings of happiness, pride, and love that are different from anything they have felt before. Raising children can give parents a great sense of accom- plishment. They may also find that having children can ensich ‘an already strong masriage. By helping their children discover the world, they can see it with new eyes themselves “The birth ofa new brother or Stor can bring Happiness, ove and fn. At ee. Making Decisions About Parenthood Deciding whether or not to become a parent is one of the ost important decisions most people ever make. Those who are | thinking about parenthood should get as clear a picture of it as | possible before they make a decision. They should also take a ealistic look at themselves. The decision of whether to have || children—and when to have them—may depend on these five Considerations: emotional maturity, desire for parenthood, | health, management skill, and finances eee eaeParenthood lea major sep ‘When a couple fly understands © the resonsbiles volved a, ‘wall as hel own fealings and © motions. they wil be Bexar Ff able to make a wise decision Emotional Maturity Being a parent, like being an adult, involves more than phys: ical matunty. It requires emotional maturity as well. That means being responsible enough ty put someone else’s needs before your own. It means being secure enough to devote your full, attention to an infant without expecting to receive attention in retur, It also means being able to hold your temper when you. find that a toddler has dumped al the dirt out of the plants on ‘the window sil, Age is no guarantee of emotional maturity. However, most people do become better able to handle situations like these as they grow older. Prospective parents should take an honest look. at their emotional maturity. Are cheir expectations of parent- hood realistic? Are they equipped to handle the pressures and responsibilities involved? If they have any doubis, they should. {decide to postpone parenthood. Desire for Parenthood “Do really want tobe a parent?” This question can be diff cult to answer. Just as imperiant, and often just as dificult, is this question: "Why do Lwanta child now?” Not all reasons for wanting children indicate real prepara- tion for parenthood. Think about te reasons shown in the chart on pageace + Our marrage is in wouble, Maybe this will solve + A baby is someone who will ove me and belong tome + Lee ike 'm nobody: Being a parent will make se somebody, + Our parents want grandchildren + Having childcen will add depth 00 SOUND REASONS relationship, whichis already strong, want o gives baby my care and love. + I feel good about myself believe that parenthood willbe a meaningful and rewarding experience + I want o experience the special bond between + Hove children, and I want tobe parent and hil that lasts fr a lifetime. a parent Prospective parents should try to understand their ow desires and doubts as clearly as possible. Only in this way ca they be sure of their decision, Health Considerations The health of prospective parents is an Important considerz tion, particularly before pregnancy It is best for both prospectiv parents to go to the doctor for a checkup. If either has a medic: problem, it could affect the health of the baby or their ability t care forthe child ‘The age ofthe prospective mother should also be considerec If she is under seventeen or over thirty-five, pregnancy is riskie for both the mother and the baby. A! Parens must be wiling to do without things they might enjoy i order eo devote tne, energy. and other resources tothe dds needs,SS... Management Skills Because parenting is such a complex task, it requires good ‘management skills. Parents must evaluate their family’s needs Aad wants, decide on the family’s goals, then find resources they Gan use to reach those goals, Successful parents consider their Splions and make sound decisions. Finally, they evaluate this inanagement process by deciding whether their decisions have helped the family progress toward its goals. Financial Considerations The expenses that raising a child add to a family budget can be surprisingly large. Before deciding on parenthood, couples, should take a careful look at the costs involved over the years head, They may need to make some changes in their way of life land set aside some savings. New parents need skill in money management, Expenses increase, and if one parent stays home with the baby, income drops. A personal checking acccunt can help parents control and, ‘keep track of their expenses. Ifthey find they need a loan, par- cents must know how to shop fer the loan, apply for it, and plan for and manage its repayment. These are all skills that parents should acquire before they have children, ——_{icrres view CHECK YOUR UNDERSTANDING express their feelings about having anew 1. List thee responsibilities thatparents must child, Identify the specific emotions being, face expressed, and discuss the probable reasons for those emotions 2. Hlow does parenthood typically change a couple's lifestyle? 2. Listfouremotional reactions common among USAW ea rare Rewparents \ 4. What are the five factors a couple should Observe a fsttime parent caring fora young, consider as they decide whether to have baby during a period of two hours or more. children? Briefly describe the demands made by the baby. “Then explain how the parent responds te those demands, Does the parent attempt to accomplish anything else during this period? Ifso, with what 6 Whatmoney management skilsare parents ggeees Ifo why not? What emotional ely to need? responses does the parent seem to have othe {infant and to the responsibilities involve in Discuss ano Discover coring for the infant? 1. Witha group of dassmats, tke turns acting ‘out various situations in which parents List two unsound reasons for choosing to become a parent, |