Chapter 1: Understanding Value Education We all want to live fulfiling lives. We want to be happy and make others happy. We used to pick up values, i.e., what is important in life, what is right and what is wrong, what to do and what not to as a human being to live a fulfilling life. The day- to-day interactions in the family, in community and society in general used to help us develop our values, Today, all these institutions have been severely ‘compromised, Now-a-days, we tend to pick up our values from sources like social media. Strengthening or reviving family and other social institutions may take quite a while. In the time being, educational institutions can play a vital role in providing a comprehensive understanding of human values by developing a holistic, humane world-vision which is in the interest of living a fulfilling life. This book presents the subject matter for a foundation course in value education which can become a regular part of the academic curriculum, In this course, we shall be discussing certain fundamental issues which are important to all of us in our life — issues which directly relate to our happiness, our well-being and welfare, our goals, aspirations and our relationships. Value education deals with something that is universally valuable to all of us, that is ‘conducive to our individual and collective happiness and prosperity. Let us first start with appreciating the need, the expanse and implications of such a subject Living a Fulfilling Life Each one of us aspires to live a fulfilling life. We have our own visions of a fulfilling life. It may include eaming lots of money, gaining power, attaining recognition, touring the world, having a loving family, ensuring harmonious relationships inside and outside the family, maintaining a healthy body, and so on. At the same time, we expect the environment to be pollution free, society to be peaceful, free of crimes and an abundance of natural resources. it, #Please pause to make a list ofall that you require to live a fulfiling life! ei Student life is expected to be the preparation for such a life. Now, it remains to be seen whether we really understand what a fulfiling life is. Can it be understood with definitiveness? Or, we will always have to plan just the next phase of life in an ad hoc manner, without being clear what we really want to be? Can it be understood through education? Can a formal course be a help on such issues? 31Fr, will these always have to be dealt with at a personal level in bits and pieces? In order to find satisfactory answers to all these concerns, let us begin with understanding what a fulfiling life means. As a proposal, just see if the following cater to a fulfiling life for you: + There is a feeling of happiness within you, all the time. + Your body is in good health, + You are able to have what you require in terms of physical facility and you have a feeling of prosperity, all the time. + You have good relations with everyone connected to you. + There is peace and harmony in the society around you. + You are able to co-exist with the nature and make effort for an environment in which there is no pollution or depletion of resources, and * You are able to understand the salient aspects of your own reality as well as the rest of existence as itis. ta., _See if all your desires fitin the above scheme or, is there something more 22 gthat you require for fulfilment? Also check if every complaint that you may <@do shave is to do with the lack of fulfilment of one or more of these. Of course, és" if something is redundant above, it can be dropped This is essentially what you have been aspiring for, regardless of whether you have been successful in achieving it or not. Similarly, look back into your own actions and check whether you have been making effort to achieve this or not. Reflect on this at the individual as well as at the collective levels — at the level of your family, your neighbourhood, your village/city, your country and so on. Thus, you will see that this basic aspiration is common to all. You are not the only one who aspires for a fulfiling life, but everyone else too. Now, if this happens to be a universal need for all human beings, would there not be a common programme for its fulfilment? Think over it. Education for a Fulfilling Life To understand what a fulfling life means and to understand the programme to ensure it, there is need for appropriate education, Education is expected to be a process which prepares us to lead such a life. And only with such an expectation, a human being invests nearly one-fourth to one-third of one’s lifetime in the process of being educated. While going through education, if we have the ‘opportunity to get a holistic perspective about life and existence, the decisions taken by us will open channels for a happy and prosperous life. At this stage of life, while completing one’s education, it is needful to gain clarity about what we really want to be, and to acquire competence to actualize it in life, visualizing clearly how one would like to see oneself, say, twenty years hence and further. 32Take the case of relationship. Harmonious relationship is one important aspect of a happy life. Today, with fast life and changing social structure, sustaining harmonious relationships has become a challenge. Another important aspect is physical well-being and wealth. As you enter higher education, you may have two major milestones in front of you: career and marriage. Can there be some programme which can help you choose your career and spouse prudently? These are issues which may be of concern to each one of you. Further, all of us live in a society. We are anyway related to the society. In fact, we are related to the whole world around us. We want fulfiling relations with all Even if there is a single relationship in which we find it difficult to ensure mutual happiness or mutual fulfilment, there appear to be only two options before us either to ignore and forget the other or to feel stressed. Both of these options do not provide a mutually fuffiling solution. Can our education address such issues? Most of the time, it is found that youth read various books, discuss with friends, listen to talks and discourses to seek solutions to such issues which, at times, start appearing unsolvable, As a result, many of us are compelled to adopt piecemeal solutions, but that too has its own limitations. Our society is of prime concern to us as our job or career or family are strongly connected to the society. When we get to know about negativity in day-to-day incidents around through the newspaper, news channels or social media, we start feeling more and more insecure and fearful. But this is not what we desire. Just ask yourself — do you want a fearful society or a fearless society? What is naturally acceptable to you? What is it that you aspire for? Next comes the Nature around. We do feel agonized when we hear that pollution is rising, Earth's atmosphere is becoming warmer and warmer day by day, water table is going down, sea levelis rising and coastal areas are sinking, food is getting contaminated, etc. Nowadays, we keep getting such messages on our gadgets every day. Certainly, this is neither good for us, the human beings, nor for the rest of the nature. It may also be observed that on this Earth it is only the human being which goes through a long process of education, in the family, in the formal educational system and in the society. Formal education has been accepted as a basic human right; parents are motivated to send their children to schools and colleges; there is adequate institutional and leaming infrastructure; teachers have been appointed and students are coming in fair numbers. All this effort has resulted in significant development of skills and information. Yet, it is the human being only who is creating so many problems on this planet. If one does not feel fulfilled within oneself, (s)he cannot be fulfilling for others too. What remains to be addressed adequately in the present education system is this important aspect, ie., fulfilment in human being. 33,‘As a human being, we have two important questions to resolve: 1. What to do? 2. How to do it? A holistic education basically has to address both these aspects adequately. The domain of education which addresses the issues related to ‘What to do?’ is called Value Education. It gives us the clarity of our goal, our basic aspiration and the programme to fulfill the basic aspiration. The second domain which addresses the issues related to ‘How to do?’ is called Skill Education. It helps us learn skill, methods and techniques to implement the programme. Both are essential and ‘complementary components of education, and need to be addressed properly. Value Education Looking at the list of aspirations for a fuffiling life which we discussed earlier, one ‘can make out that ensuring such a life necessitates that we understand ourselves and everything around us, clearly identifying our relationship with everything around. When we try to fulfil our relationship with other human beings or any entity in the rest of nature, that defines my participation with the larger order. This participation constitutes the domain of human values. The value of an entity is its participation in the larger order of which it is a part. For example, the value of a marker is that it can write on a whiteboard in the classroom. Here writing is the participation of the marker in the classroom, which is the larger order. As long as the marker can write, itis of value, otherwise it is not of value, Similarly, one value of a vegetable plant is that it can provide nutrition to the Body of a human being What is the value of a human being then? This question implies — what is the participation of a human being in the bigger order? For example, if your participation in the process of education is to understand what is being taught, your value is to make that effort. The value of a human being is its natural or expected participation in the larger order - at the level of the individual, at the level of family, at the level of society and ultimately, at the level of naturelexistence. Its interesting to note that you feel happy in the process of fulfilling your participation in the larger order. In this example, if you understand what has been taught, you feel happy. The teacher also feels happy when you participate in understanding what is being taught. 34For human being, this bigger order includes other human beings, plants, air, water, soil, animals, birds, etc., i.e., the entire naturefexistence. The value of a human being is its participation in this entire nature/existence. Hence, to understand human values, we need to study the human reality along with all that is there in the entire nature/existence which constitutes the larger order. The role of human being is to understand and fulfil its relationship with each and every unit in the existence, To understand human values, there is need for value education. We need to explore and understand things as they are; so that we are able to fulfil our participation with them. The part of education that deals with the understanding of one’s participation in the larger order, and thus ensuring it in living, is called as Value Education. It forms the basis of the rest of education as well. Ultimately, the whole education needs to be value based. If it is not value based, it will not serve to fulfil the basic aspiration of the human being, ie., a life of fulfilment. It can at most provide skills to a person to fulfil the need for physical facility, or so to say, make money, but the basic desire will remain untouched. A simple appraisal of the current state of the affairs shows that our life has become more focused on making money rather than ensuring a fulfilling life. This deficiency needs to be rectified by making education wholesome and conducive to a fulfiling life Skill Education Skills (technology, management, medicine, etc.) are necessary in our life. Skills have been developed to such a fine extent in every area - in medicine, in production, in construction of bridges and buildings, in all kinds of transportation from bicycles to aeroplanes, in telecommunication and television, to name a few. The list is very large. Skis are definitely required, However, along with skils, itis essential to decide the purpose for which they are to be used. Can you see that? Complementarity of Values and Skills Let us reflect upon a few questions to understand the complementarity of values and skills: Will you use your communication and management skills for dominating over others or for mutual fulfilment, making friends? Will you use your medical skills for profiting from disease or for ensuring long-term health? Will you use your finance skills for ensuring equitable distribution of wealth or for profit-maximisation for a few? Will you use skills for nurturing others or for exploiting others and exploiting nature? Will you use the communication facilities that have been developed, particularly the mobile phones with extensive options, for providing human education to the people or for promoting consumerism and indulgence? We can see that skill is important, but it is more important to see the purpose the skill is used for. 35We can see that skills are only a means to achieve a given purpose. While skills are required to achieve a particular purpose in an effective and efficient manner, it is not within the scope of technology, management, medicine, etc. to decide the purpose. This decision lies outside its scope. It thus becomes important to identify ‘our purpose as human beings. Without this decision, skills can be aimless, directionless and can therefore, be put to any use — for constructive or destructive purposes, For instance, students of technology will be studying, creating and implementing technologies. If they are getting trained on technology without deciding the purpose of human being, their technical skills could even prove counterproductive When used to dominate, exploit or harm others. We developed technology for hamessing atomic energy or nuclear energy. Now, how much of it has been used for welfare purpose and how much of it has been used for destructive purposes? It seems that we have generated enough nuclear weapons to destroy this Earth 30 times (needless to say that one cannot destroy the Earth more than once), Taking another example — supposing we get convinced that for a happy life, the health of the Body is the basic requirement, we will learn skills to keep the Body healthy. Skills such as learning which food will keep the Body healthy which physical practices will keep the Body functioning properly, what would be the possible ways to do certain kinds of work with the Body? All these fall under the domain of skills, But along with it, itis crucial to understand for what purpose we shall be using our body: and this comes under the value domain. ‘As explained above, values and skills have to go hand in hand. There is an essential complementarity between the two for the success of any human ‘endeavour towards the goal of living a fuffiling life. Priority of Values over Skills As elaborated above, values are required to decide ‘what to do”, while skills are required for “how to do". Now, when we ask ourselves what would be the priority order, it is easy to see that “what to do” has to be decided first and then only we can think of *how to do” rather than the other way around. Can you see that? For example, if you were to go to a railway station and ask for a ticket, the clerk would ask you where you want to go. But if you keep telling the clerk that you want the fastest train, the most comfortable train, the best air-conditioned train and all that, will it work? That is how many of the things we are doing today are happening! We ‘are working out ways and means to go fast, to travel at supersonic speeds, but are we clear about where we want to go and what we will do when we reach there; and if that will lead to our fulfilment or not? This is an important question that must be kept in the forefront of whatever we think and do 36Thus, can you see that values have a higher priority over skills even though both of these are essential for human welfare? The Need and Important Implications of Value Education Having explored the complementarity and higher priority of value education in tandem with the skill education, we shall now highlight some of the important implications of value education to further substantiate its need. These include the following, Correct Identification of Our Goals Value education helps us to identify our goals appropriately. The questions such as the following need an authentic answer which can only come through Value Education Can the goal of a human being be to accumulate as much wealth as possible or to ensure a prosperous life? Are accumulation of wealth and prosperity the same thing or different? Can the goal of a human being be to work just for sensual pleasures, and that too in continuity? Is the sensual pleasure and happiness the same thing or is it something different? Is our goal decided within oneself or by looking at others? There are so many issues such as the ones mentioned above that we are struggling with. This leads to a state of dilemma. Deciding our goals with definiteness becomes a difficult task. In the successive chapters, we will start exploring into all these issues one by one systematically. It will help to develop the basis for you to decide your goals by yourself, and not under the influence of others. Just think that if your goal is also not your own but borrowed from others, will its achievement be fulfling to you? Hence, it is important that at this stage of your life, you are able to correctly make out your goals with confidence. ‘As we proceed further, we will see that with the understanding of the human being, the nature and the harmony in relationship, it will be possible for us to know our participation as human being in every sphere of our living and therefore, understand our purpose, our goal appropriately. This calls for developing a holistic perspective, Development of a Holistic Perspective The outcome of value education is a holistic perspective with the clarity about human being (the one who understands), about the nature/existence of which we are an integral part as well as our participation in this nature/existence. This participation is our role, it is our purpose, it is our right, it is our responsibility and itis our value. In terms of day-to-day living, it means that we are able to see our 7role with respect to ourselves, with respect to the family, with respect to the society and with respect to nature/existence (fig, 1-1). We can also see that we feel happy when we fulfil our particip: naiviguat I heve a role within myselt {eg. ensuring happinoss inthe self and health in the boey) Faraily have a role in ny farty (6g. ensuring fecing of relationship ang prosperity) Society Ihave a role nthe society (eg. to participate in social systems for enourirg justice, poace and harmony) Itercomectedness and Partejpation in ths Larger Order NaturelExistence Ihave a rele in nature/existence (6g. mutual fuifiment wih rest of nature) We are interconnected, interrelated in this existence — from the smallest level to the whole cosmos. There is a chain of connectedness with mutual fulfilment at every level. With a holistic perspective we are able to see every ittle part of it. We can also see that our own existence is by virtue of this mutual fulfilment. It is the ‘same for other human beings as well as all the units in nature, like air, water, plants and animals. The rich bio-diversity is fulfling for us and is readily available to us without any effort from our side. Itis like a gift of mutual fulfilment. All the wisdom, information and skills which the long human tradition has developed are also readily available to us without any effort from our side. This also develops a deep sense of gratitude for the society and ultimately for the whole existence. In the light of the holistic perspective, we can understand that the nature or the existence is in harmony and there is relationship among all the units of nature, including human beings. We can now perceive that the harmony, the relationship is the running thread across all that exists, across all the units in nature - from a single atom to the whole cosmos. We can now see that, in fact, all these units, from atoms to cosmos, are the expressions of this harmony and relationship at different levels. Clarity of Programme to Live with Holistic Perspective We are all faced with many questions regarding our program of living, such as’ what thoughts are naturally acceptable to me with which I would like to continue, what food will keep my body healthy which clothes will fulfil the need of my body better, what behaviour with my friends will sustain our relationship, how | can be a help to the other in my family, how I can participate in the college or neighbourhood or the society at large so that there is mutual fulfilment, what my role can be in 38maintaining the harmony of the environment which includes trees, air, water, etc We all have such concems and we keep struggling with confusion about all these aspects and the notions vary from person to person. Can we get a vision, a programme that can be holistic as well as universal? This will give us the clarity to work out the day-to-day programs. Value Education provides us the vision which will help us to get answers to get answers to all these questions. We can see that this clarity of programme is necessary for our own state of happiness. Evaluation of our Beliefs Our conduct depends on what we understand or believe about ourselves, our family, the society and the nature around. Value education also helps us become aware of our own beliefs. Much of our behaviour or working is based on beliefs about which we are ourselves quite unaware of. These somehow become the guiding factors of the decisions of our life, Hence, it is important to evaluate our ‘own beliefs sincerely. Of course, all beliefs are not wrong, but there may be many that are. For example, if we believe that earning money is the ultimate goal of life and sensual pleasures are the only source of happiness, we make effort for accumulating money and indulging in sensual pleasures as much as possible. Like that, there may be many different beliefs and based on these beliefs, different programs for fulfilment. ‘One of these beliefs could be that the very design of nature is such that there is struggle for survival and the ‘survival of the fittest’; and that human beings have to struggle their way through life. With this belief, invariably we think in terms of competition, instead of cooperation with human beings; we may even think of domination which may ultimately lead to fighting and even war. We may think in terms of accumulating more and more physical facility. For this we think of exploitation and mastery over rest of nature, instead of ensuring mutual enrichment. This may ultimately lead to resource depletion and environment pollution. We can see that the major problems that we see today in the society, have their seeds in the wrong beliefs that we have in us about ourselves and about the rest of nature Do you know for sure what exactly your beliefs are — about human being and about this nature/existence? Is there struggle for survival and survival of the fittest in nature? Is the cosmos in harmony or heading toward chaos? A belief is an assumption which we are not sure of, but since it has been reinforced over and ‘over again, we also tend to hold it and repeat it. Inside, we also don't know, we are also not sure! On the other hand, understanding means knowing without doubt What it actually is, 39At the collective level, the culture and civilization are characterized by the understanding or belief about these two entities: one about the human being, and the other about the nature/existence. The society propagates its understanding or beliefs through education to the next generation. Of course, here education means all the inputs that an individual absorbs from the family, the school/college as well as the larger society - through people, practices, festivals, media, etc. Find out if you are getting these inputs. Find out if you are drawing some. es ge i ‘conclusions out of these inputs, Find out if you are setting your goals with these inputs. Solution of Existing Problems. fwe understand our participation (human values) and live by them in the complete expanse of our being (from ourselves to family, to society and to the entire nature), it will lead to a fulfilling life for ourselves and fuffiling for all around. The problems, including wrong beliefs, are mainly because we do not have understanding and we are not making enough effort for i. ‘Once we have a holistic perspective and the clarity of the programme to live by it, we are able to realise that most of the existing problems are actually symptoms and consequences of our wrong beliefs. Then, in due course of time, we will be able to root them out, not only at the personal level, but also at the family level, in ‘our workplace, at societal level and in our interaction with the rest of nature. With right understanding of things, we are better able to define our role in different phases of life and work accordingly. One thing that happens with such inputs is that we do not create problems for ourselves or others; secondly, we are able to resolve the existing problems at different levels of our living: and thirdly, we are able to lay down a programme, whatever be the scale which does ensure fulfilment for all. Thus, we are able to participate in the collective fulfilment of the society around. Development of Ethical Competence Ethics is the expression of definite human conduct in one’s behaviour, work or participation in the larger order. It is easy to appreciate that the core purpose of value education is to develop ethical competence among human beings which will reflect in all their pursuits. The problem of unethical conduct in various professions which is becoming a grave menace almost everywhere, can also be tackled effectively by focussing attention on development of ethical competence through human value education, We shall discuss in detail about the salient implications of value education in context with professional ethics in the third section of the book. 40Guidelines for Value Education Now that we have identified the need and implications of value education, let us visualize certain effective and widely acceptable guidelines which will enable the introduction of value education in the present academic system. Given below are the broad guidelines: Universal ‘Whatever we study as value education has to be universally applicable to all human beings and be true at all imes and all places. This implies that it should not change depending upon sect, creed, nationality and gender, etc. It has to deal with universal human values. For example, the feeling of respect in relationship is something universal, so it can be a part of value education. Rational Ithas to be amenable to reasoning and not based on dogmas or blind beliefs. It should be open to address the related questions. It cannot be a set of sermons or do's and don'ts. Natural and Verifiable ‘We want to study something that is natural to us. Being natural means, it has to be acceptable in a natural manner. When we live on the basis of such values that are natural to us, it leads to mutual fulfilment. It eads to our happiness and itis also conducive to the happiness of other people we interact with, as well as enriching for other units in nature. We also want to verify these values ourselves, i.e., we don't want to assume something just because it is being stated here; rather, each one of us wants to verify these to find out whether they are true for us. This can be done by both checking for validity within ourselves, as well as something which we can implement in our living and observe its outcome. All Encompassing The content of value education has to cover all dimensions of our being (thought, behaviour, work and understanding) as well as all levels of our living (individual, family, society and nature/existence). Itis not merely an intellectual exercise or information transfer. Leading to Harmony Finally, value education has to enable us to be in harmony within and in harmony with others. Hence, when we live on the basis of these values, we start observing that it leads to harmony in us and harmony in our interactions with other humans and the rest of nature. 41Content of Value Education We have seen that the value of a human being is the participation of the human being in the larger existential order. Hence, to understand human values, we need to study human being along with all that is there in the existence, The role of human being is the relationship with each and every unit in the existence. That means the scope of study has to be all encompassing, i. + It covers all dimensions of human being — thought, behaviour, work and realisation. + Itcovers all levels of human living — indi existence lual, family, society, nature and Accordingly, the content of Value Education has to be to understand human being, human aspirations, happiness; understand the goal of human fe comprehensively; understand the other entities in nature, the innate inter- connectedness, the harmony in the nature/existence and finally the role of human being in this nature/existence. Hence, it has to encompass understanding of harmony at various levels, namely, individual, family, society, nature and existence, and finally, learning to live in accordance with this understanding by being aware of one's thought, behaviour and work. Process of Value Education — Self-exploration Human Values can be understood by an appropriate process of self-discovery, because they are potentially there in each and every human being. There is already a natural acceptance for values in a human being. Itis only that we have to discover them or become aware of them. For example, if you are asked, what is naturally acceptable to you: the feeling of relationship or feeling of opposition with other members of your family? Just observe within for the answer. The natural response is feeling of relationship. This feeling of relationship is a value for us. In this discussion, this feeling was not created in you. You already had the acceptance for it. It was only uncovered by drawing your attention within though the question for exploration. Hence, to study human values, the process has to be such that it develops a process of self-exploration in you. Taking every statement a8 a proposal, you are able to investigate the reality by yourself. Value education is not a set of do's and don'ts or a set of sermons. It rather is a process of self- exploration and self-investigation. This will be further elaborated in the next chapter. Salient Points © We are all seeking and working for a fulfiling, harmonious life. It is something we consider valuable, something of value. ‘+ The value of any entity is its participation in the larger order of which it is a part. With a holistic perspective, we can see that a human being 42participates at the level of individual as well as at the levels of family, society and naturelexistence. The value of a human being is its participation that leads to harmony at all these levels. Value education is that part of education which deals with understanding ‘one’s participation in the larger order, and thus ensuring it in living It is essential that any content on value education be universal, rational, natural, verifiable, all-encompassing and leading to harmony. The content of value education must be all encompassing, ie., it must include all dimensions of a human being as well as all levels of human living, The process of value education is essentially a process of self-exploration (self-reflection and self-discovery). Self-exploration includes _self- verification at the level of natural acceptance and experiential validation in living Ethics is the expression of definite human conduct in one's behaviour, work oF participation in the larger order which is a result of right understanding about ourselves vis-a-vis rest of nature. Development of ethical competence in the individual is the way to ensure professional ethics Test Your Understanding Part 1; Questions for Self-evaluation (Have we grasped the basic proposals made in this chapter?) 1 2 3 Define Value, Explain the Value of a Human Being with a few examples. Define Skill. Elaborate on it with a few examples. Highlight the differences between Values and Skills As mentioned in the chapter, as a human being, we have two important questions to resolve: a, What to do? b, Howto do? Elaborate on the meaning of these two questions with a few examples. Describe the two domains of education. How are they complementary? How do they assist in living a futfiling life? What is the content of Value Education? Discuss the need for it in technical and other professional institutions. Explain the basic guidelines for Value Education. What is the need for these guidelines? List any three implications of Value Education. Explain how they are related to your lif. Describe the process of Value Education. Define ethics. How are values and ethics related? 43,Part 2: Practice Exercises for Self-exploration (To help connect the content to one’s life, at least at the level of thought, these exercises may be done individually or in a group, particularly with friends and family members) 1. What does a fulfiling life mean for you? List out the top five points that occur to you when you think of a fulfilling life. While making the list, please consider your entire life, not just the present stage of your life (youth, middle age, old age, etc.) 2. Choose any five things that you consider as human values. Now write all the basic guidelines, and check if you they satisfy the basic guidelines. (Hint: Someone may say Trust is a human value. Now check if it satisfies the basic guidelines) 3. Is it important for you to know about the value of a human being? Can you see that skill development and value education are both essential for you? Write about the kind of education you feel is essential for you. What outcome do you expect from it? (Hint: Education includes all the inputs you get from family, school/college and society. You understand something or learn something from these inputs). 4. Make alist of your desires — we will keep referring to this. Part 3: Projects and Modelling Exercises ‘You may like to revisit this part of Test Your Understanding after reading through the complete book once and self-exploring all the key proposals. With that, you may have some (or many) aha! moments in which something clicks for you, you understand a proposal. What you have understood may be expressed in various creative ways which appeal to different people. This part is for you to give a creative expression to your understanding. Of course, you can do this in a group also. Creative expressions may be in the form of sketches, drawings, paintings, clay models, sculptures, songs, poems, music, dance, audios, videos, games, puzzles, stories, skits, plays, dramas, charts, diagrams, plans, survey questionnaires, blogs, something on social media and so on. It is the story of your ‘own life - and it matters. While some hints are given above, please feel free to share your real aha’s in your own way! “When | fulfil my participation in even the smallest of ways, | feel happy! Itis as simple as that. | just have to figure out my natural participation in every aspect of my life, develop my competence to fulfil my participation and just do it! That is my ultimate autonomy, freedom and happiness"! 4aPart 4: Your Questions Write down your questions or doubts in your note-book. If any of the previous questions have been clarified by your self-exploration of the proposals so far, please mark them as answered. We would like to discuss the questions remaining unanswered in your self-exploration. 45,Chapter 2: Self-exploration as the Process for Value Education Recap In chapter 1, we discussed the need, basic guidelines, content and process of value education. We saw that the value of any entity is its participation in the larger order, As human beings, we feel happy when we are fulfilling our participation, our role i.e., we feel happy when we are living in accordance with our value (i,, living in harmony within, living in harmony with other human being as well as with every unit in naturefexistence). Value education is about understanding our values and living accordingly. We also mentioned that the process for value education is self- exploration In this chapter, we will elaborate on the process of self-exploration with the help of some examples. What is Self-exploration? Self-exploration is a process of seeing the truth about a reality on our own right, by our own observation and investigation. Through this process, we understand the reality and our participation (value) with it. For instance, human being is a reality. Through self-exploration we try to see and understand the human being as well its participation (value) with other human being. Our articulation of human being and our role (value) with other human being is just a proposal for you — to explore, see and verify for yourself. You can find out which process is more acceptable, more assuring for you’ ‘+ A process of self-verification, self-exploration on your own right + Aprocess of assuming what is given, without verifying on your own right Itis for you to decide what a reality is and what your role (value, what is valuable) with that reality is. Whatever is given in the book is just a proposal for you for your self-verification, self-exploration The simplest way to verify a given proposal on your own right is by referring it to your ‘natural acceptance’. If the proposal is naturally acceptable to you, it is right for you. If itis not naturally acceptable to you, itis not right for you. Ifyou ask yourself, what is naturally acceptable to you~ ‘to be in relationship with your family members?’ or ‘to be in opposition with them?’ The answer may be quite ‘obvious and you would come up with a spontaneous ‘to be in relationship’! How did you get this answer? It is from your natural acceptance 46When we refer to our natural acceptance, we directly get the answers, We don't have to leam them or get them from outside or refer to some instrument! Sometimes, we might be in opposition with someone, even with our family members, but that is not naturally acceptable to us. With a feeling of opposition within, we feel uncomfortable within and want to resolve the situation. It is the feeling of relationship only that we always aspire for. Regardless of whether we are living in relationship or opposition, our natural acceptance is always for relationship. We are referring to this faculty as our natural acceptance. It is innate in us, a part and parcel of our being. Each one of us has this faculty and therefore, all of us have the potential for self- exploration on our own right. We do not need any special qualification for it. We only have to start referring to our natural acceptance. This book systematically presents a series of proposals and, to begin with, you explore these proposals. As you explore, verify the proposals you are able to distinguish between what is right for you and what is not — what is valuable for you and what is not. E.g., by now you would have been able to verify that the relationship is naturally acceptable to you and opposition is not. This self-exploration is a process of dialogue. To begin with, it is initiated as a dialogue between us and you - we make a proposal and you verify it. Soon you start asking such questions to yourself — it becomes a dialogue within you. You start exploring the answers for your fundamental questions by referring to your natural acceptance. This internal dialogue is between ‘what | am” and ‘what is naturally acceptable to me” (refer to fig. 2-1), What lam ‘What is Naturally Acceptable to Me Fig. 2-1. The Dialogue Within The Dialogue Within This intemal dialogue is between the two realities ‘what | am” and ‘what is naturally acceptable to me” “What | am” is my current competence on the basis of which I live. It includes the way | feel, the way | think, how I make decisions, what I expect from others and all that. It has to do with my desires, thoughts, expectations etc. a7“What is naturally acceptable to me” is my natural acceptance. It is my intention. It is ‘what | really want to be”. Itis a basic reference which is a part and parcel of me. Check if you able to see, be aware of “what you are”. Similarly, check if you are aware of your natural acceptance. Now, if you want to be aware of your own desires, thoughts and expectations or your natural acceptance, where would you look? Of course, you have to look within! When you are able to see both these realities, you can find out if they are same or they are different, whether they are in harmony or they are in contradiction. You may well ask as to why this is important. Let us take an example to find out. Let us say that you are thinking of taking revenge from someone. After two hours of thinking how to take revenge, you drop the idea. Now, during these two hours, were you comfortable or uncomfortable within? Not at all comfortable, isn’t it? You dropped the idea, so nothing was expressed to the other person — it did not affect him; but what about you? You made yourself uncomfortable for two hours! Now if you can see that this feeling uncomfortable was because you had a feeling that is not naturally acceptable to you. In general, a contradiction between “what | am” and “what is naturally acceptable to me’, will result in disharmony within me. Only when “what | am” and “what is naturally acceptable to me” are in harmony, we are comfortable within Waa Whats Waray ccopablet Me My ede, wah, Expectation (zac) My Raunt Aeretance My Competence yntation— vat Realy Wl tee Spmocton || readonee rlatenhip ‘sen -_comeeten | a 22. Wht Anan at Rey Wt When we are in harmony within, we are in a state of happiness. When we are in a state of contradiction within, we are in a state of unhappiness. The very process of being in this dialogue starts facilitating one’s progress towards harmony. We start becoming more and more comfortable within, That is our self= evolution. 48,Through this book, we are trying to initiate and facilitate the process of dialogue, self-exploration in you. Let us now identify the content of self-exploration and also look at the process in more detail The Content for Self-exploration What should be the content for self-exploration? Whatever is essential for us to understand for moving towards a futfling life should naturally form the content for self-exploration. Isn't it? Thus, the content for self-exploration basically has the following two sub-parts: a) Desire: What is our basic aspiration? b) Programme: What is the way to fulfil this basic aspiration? First, we want to explore into our desire as a human being, and second, we want to explore into the programme to ensure the fulfilment of that desire. The desire is essentially the basic aspiration, the aim, the objective, the purpose, what we want to achieve — what is our goal. The programme is the process of achieving the desire, the action to achieve our goal Are both these questions important for you? Is it important for you to find out what your basic aspiration is? Is it important to find out the programme for the fulfilment of your basic aspiration? These are two important questions for any human being, Now let us see, if we have answers to both these questions, are there any more questions that we are left with? That is to say, if we know our basic aspiration and we know the programme of fulfilment of our basic aspiration, what other questions are we left with? If we can get the answer to these two questions, practically all our questions are answered! In fact, most of the questions that we have generated are because of the lack of clarity of these two. If we get the answers to these two questions, we only have to act! The Process of Self-exploration We have already started identifying the process of self-exploration. Now we can look at it in more detail ‘As mentioned earlier, whatever is stated here is a proposal for your self- exploration. Verify it — verify it on your own right, on the basis of your natural acceptance. Do not assume it to be true or false, right or wrong. 49However, verifying it on the basis of natural acceptance is only a part of the process. What more is needed will now be presented, Look at fig. 2-3. It represents the complete process of self-exploration. ‘Whetover is stated ic a Proposal (Do not assume it to be true! falee) Verity itor your own right Proposal vey it “), Bxpertenta Waidstion con tho Basis io Live according to it_ Natura | ev @ ‘eceptance uneseng) nau uate | I cut Happiness Murua rospenty RIGHT UNDERSTANDING Fig. 2-3 Process of Seitexploraion The first part of self-exploration is to verify the proposal on the basis of our natural acceptance. Once we have verified that a proposal is naturally acceptable to us, we are sure that it is something which we would like to live with. ‘The second part of self-exploration is experiential validation. It means trying to live according to the proposal. In living there are two parts — one is the behaviour with other human beings and the second is work with rest of nature. When we are behaving with human being on the basis of this proposal, we want to verify whether it leads to mutual happiness or not. If it leads to mutual happiness, it is a right proposal; ifit does not lead to mutual happiness, it is not a right proposal. Similarly, When we are working with rest of nature, on the basis of this proposal, we want to verify whether it leads to mutual prosperity or not. If it leads to mutual prosperity, i is a right proposal: ifit does not lead to mutual prosperity, itis not a right proposal As an example, let us explore the proposal, “the feeling of respect is natural in relationship’ + Asa first part of the exploration, you can verify, whether feeling of respect is naturally acceptable to you or feeling of disrespect is naturally acceptable to you. ‘+ The second part is living according to the proposal. That is, you have the feeling of respect in you, and now, you are expressing this feeling of respect in your behaviour with the other human being Find out whether it leads to happiness in you and in the other (mutual happiness) Ifit does, the proposal is right for you, otherwise it is not. 50| can see that this feeling of respect is naturally acceptable to me, therefore, it leads to my happiness. Similarly, this feeling of respect is naturally acceptable to you, therefore, it leads to your happiness as well, ie., it leads to mutual happiness, and hence the second part of the self-exploration also holds true. Putting these two parts together, now we can say that the given proposal “the feeling of respect is natural in relationship" is a right proposal. We can also verify this in case of our interaction with rest of nature. Let us check whether ‘the feeling of nurturing (enrichment) in our interaction with the environment is natural’. You can verify whether feeling of nurturing is naturally acceptable to you or feeling of exploiting is naturally acceptable to you. This is part fone of the seif-verification. Further, we can proceed to the second part — living according to it. By nurturing and enriching the environment, does it lead to mutual prosperity? If we can see that the enriched environment facilitates better food production, leading to our prosperity and it also leads to prosperity of the environment in terms of its enrichment, we can conclude that it leads to mutual prosperity. Thus, this proposal passes both parts of self-verification. Therefore, this proposal ‘the feeling of nurturing the environment is natural’ is a right proposal. What we are verifying for any proposal in the second partis, “does it lead to mutual fulfilment in our living"? Mutual fulfilment means that: a. Our behaviour with other human beings leads to mutual happiness. b. Our work with the rest of nature leads to mutual prosperity. At this point, there may be a question, “is it necessary to experientially validate a proposal if itis not naturally acceptable"? It is an important question. What is being said here is that both parts of self-exploration are essential. We may not be very sure of our natural acceptance or we may not have the confidence that we really have the right answers within (that we can really be self-referential). So, we propose that you experientially validate the proposals. Of course, if you are very sure that a proposal does not pass the first test, you need not go to the second test. When we are able to verify a proposal, both by way of verifying through natural acceptance and by way of verifying through experiential validation, the ultimate outcome is “right understanding’. We will explore into the details of right understanding in the chapters to follow. Natural Acceptance (Distinguishing between ‘acceptance’ and ‘natural acceptance’) Natural acceptance has to do with something fundamental, something related to our purpose, something related to our basic desires. When we ask a question 51related to these, we get a definite answer from our natural acceptance, For example, ‘+ Is happiness naturally acceptable or is unhappiness naturally acceptable? ‘+ Is itnaturally acceptable to live in relationship or in opposition? ‘+ What is naturally acceptable — to nurture your Body or to exploit it? For all these questions, we get a definite answer when we refer to our natural acceptance. ‘Some of the characteristics of natural acceptance are: a) Natural acceptance does not change with time: What is naturally acceptable to you today is the same as what was naturally acceptable to you yesterday, and what will be naturally acceptable to you tomorrow. For example, our natural acceptance for the feeling of trust, for the feeling of respect in relationship remains invariant with time: a child naturally accepts having the feeling of trust. Twenty years later, when (s)he becomes a youth, (s)he still has a natural acceptance for trust; and when (s)he grows into an old person, (s)he continues to have a natural acceptance for the feeling of trust — there is no change in the natural acceptance with time for any given person. b) Natural acceptance does not change with place: Naturally acceptable feelings, like trust, respect, affection, etc. remain invariant with place. These feelings are naturally acceptable to me when | am in India, in America, in Aftica, in Europe or in any other place. Like that, my natural acceptance to keep the Body healthy does not change with place. No matter where we are, we have the same natural acceptance at all the places, ©) Natural acceptance does not change with the individual: Natural acceptance is the same for all of us; itis a part and parcel of every human. being; it is part of our human-ness. We can check with the naturally acceptable feelings once again and find out if they are naturally acceptable to Indians, to Americans and to any and every human being. Our assumptions, our likes and dislikes, our views on issues may vary; but the feelings that are naturally acceptable to one are also naturally acceptable to every human being. In that sense, natural acceptance is universal. That is why by understanding our own natural acceptance; we can also understand the natural acceptance of others. d) Natural acceptance is uncorrupted by likes and dislikes or assumptions or beliefs: We have taken the examples of this above also. When we ask the right questions, we can see our natural acceptance and itis there, Natural acceptance remains unaffected by our likes and dislikes, our belief systems and our preconditioning even if they are very deep and 52influence our thoughts day and night. For example, even if we are preconditioned for years ‘not to trust anyone’, if we ask the question as to What is naturally acceptable ‘trust or mistrust’, the answer is in favour of trust e) Natural acceptance is innate; we don’t need to create it: Whatever be the background of a person, this faculty is very much there, For example, the moment we think of disrespecting someone, how does it feel within? Comfortable or uncomfortable? Similarly, the moment we think of opposing anyone, how does it feel? Are we at ease or we feel uneasy? Of course, uneasy. Why is this happening? Because we have the faculty of natural acceptance as a part and parcel of our being and it keeps hinting that what we are feeling, thinking or doing is in harmony with our own natural acceptance or not. We can start referring to it at any time, itis always there. ) Natural acceptance is definite: It is for relationship, harmony and co- existence which is universal. This we can directly verify by asking, what is. naturally acceptable to us — relationship or opposition, harmony or disharmony, co-existence or struggle? When we look into the details of relationship, harmony and co-existence, in chapters to follow, we will ask these questions again regarding each and see that these three — relationship, harmony and co-existence, ultimately provide the guidance for ‘our living in harmony, happiness. Our natural acceptance is innate in each of us: itis uncorrupted and it is universal, ie., itis invariant with respect to time, place and person. It may seem very simple to begin with, but we shall see that this becomes a very powerful way for us to know what is ultimately true for us on our own right. All we have to do is to start referring to it and validating it in our living. Since we have so many strongly held beliefs, we may confuse them with our natural acceptance. The experiential validation gives us another opportunity to examine the proposal. That is why both the parts of self-verification are essential. Let us not assume even this to be true — let us explore and find it out for ourselves! What Natural Acceptance is Not If we ask, “is eating rice naturally acceptable or eating wheat is naturally acceptable"? One may prefer rice and another may prefer wheat, So, the answer to this question may not have all the characteristics mentioned above. On the other hand, if we ask “is nurturing your Body naturally acceptable"? The response will have all the characteristics mentioned above 53These are two different types of questions. The first question is about a specific choice of ‘how to nurture the Body’, while the second is about our basic participation with the Body. Natural acceptance is about value, our participation with an existential reality. It is not about choices of how to fulfil that participation Distinguishing between Acceptance and Natural Acceptance Our acceptance may be based on likes and dislikes, assumptions, pre- conditionings, beliefs, world-view, perspective, etc. Let us say, you like the taste of a particular food item, you have an acceptance for it. To check if this acceptance is same as your natural acceptance, you can ask a more fundamental question ‘will this particular food nurture the body or not’. If you find that it will not nurture the body, you can conclude that particular choice of the food is not in line with your natural acceptance — your acceptance for that particular food is not your natural acceptance. Like that we may develop acceptance for many things which are not naturally acceptable to us at a fundamental level. We may have an acceptance for ‘competition, exploitation while our natural acceptance is for cooperation, nurturing We might have accepted ‘struggle for survival, survival of the fittest’, but our natural acceptance is for relationship. We have a natural acceptance for peace, but we might have an acceptance for war. Like that you can see that your acceptance and natural acceptance are two different things. Appraisal of the Current Status In forming our perspective on how to live our life, we get many inputs from family, friends, educators, newspapers, social media etc. There is social pressure to follow societal norms. We tend to conform to be accepted, to avoid being the odd one out, We also accept authority unquestioningly. Alll these external influences play a major role in the development of our perspective, Most people can be seen living by prescribed rules and guidelines, essentially letting others or circumstances dictate their lives — a sort of enslavement. Their conduct is also quite varied - one at home, another at work, yet another with friends, and so on. Largely, this seems to be the state of affairs in our world today. Despite these challenges, there remains an innate human desire to live a happy, meaningful life. For that, deep down we want to know, to understand things as they truly are and live by that understanding. We look for avenues to fulfil this need — in the family, educational institutions and the society in general. 5aThe state of present-day society indicates that fulfiling this need to know has to become a central theme of education. When we evaluate how society, homes, educational institutions, colleges, and universities deal with youth today, we can discem two distinct approaches. In some cases, the educational and societal inputs are structured as proposals. These environments encourage self-verification, critical thinking, questioning, and open discussions. Youth in such settings are empowered to draw their own conclusions. This approach augments independent thought and self-confidence, aligning with the idea of self-exploration Conversely, in other instances, inputs are delivered in the form of rigid do's and don'ts, along with given statements. Youth are often guided to follow what is provided without room for questioning or independent thought. This approach tends to reinforce preconceived assumptions and can result in youth accepting assumptions without critical examination or rejecting them completely. Society, homes, and educational institutions play a crucial role in shaping the youth. Largely, the second approach is taken in education today and youth are not well enough prepared to navigate the complexities of modern life, make informed choices, and contribute meaningfully to society. For yourself, do reflect on which of the above methods is naturally acceptable to you. In this book, we are taking the first approach of self-exploration. We encourage you to take everything as a proposal, neither assuming it to be true nor false, but verifying it on your own. This approach empowers you to engage critically and independently with the material, fostering self-assurance and informed decision-making We aim to explore our inner selves to discover our true desires, which, when pursued, can lead to mutual happiness and prosperity. This book offers proposals to help us grasp reality. As we delve into these proposals and find meaning, they become our thoughts and potentially shape our understanding The Way Ahead Ifwe observe a child, it has great deal of curiosity. It naturally and enthusiastically seeks to understand what's right, learn various skills and do what is right. Initially it goes by what is given, learns by observation and practice. The child leams language like this, for example. However, as the child grows, it yearns for assurance that whatever it has picked up will indeed lead to happiness and prosperity. They do take inputs from those who understand life, like parents, friends, and teachers, but for true understanding it requires internalizing the inputs = it requires self-exploration. Only after we are able to see or know the reality as it 55is, we become self-assured, self-confident and happy. We are then able to make decisions for mutual fulfillment, free from external pressures. Let us now see what happens, if we are able to go by exploring within; and what happens otherwise, by assuming without exploring, Ife can see things clearly for ourselves through self-exploration and if these are reinforced by observation and practice, it becomes part of our understanding. Once we have understood something, we are sure, we are self-assured, we are self- confident that living like this will lead to mutual fulfilment. In living, when we are able to validate this understanding, it gets further reinforced. Such a state may be called self-organised. We are able to make decisions that are right, i.e, decisions in the interest of mutual fulfilment, i¢., mutual happiness and mutual prosperity. In this self-organized state, we can absorb external input without succumbing to external pressures, peer influence, or personal whims. Instead, we see things clearly for ourselves and help others recognize their potential for living in a mutually fulfling, self-organized manner. On the other hand, if we are unable to see the things for ourselves and our assumptions remain unverified, the feeling of assurance is absent; and we are not self-confident. Rather, in adverse conditions, we may become reactive and try out various, even arbitrary options. In this process, we are susceptible to outside influences and pressures as our own unverified assumptions are not stable. In this case, generally, we tend to live by prescriptions, do's and don'ts; ie, our living is largely dictated by others (human beings or prevailing conditions). This is a state of enslavement (enslaved by our own wrong assumptions)! ‘As we have seen, in the developmental journey of any child, imitation serves as the initial building block of understanding, They leam language, behaviors, and various aspects of life through imitation. Initially, they obey instructions, work within basic disciplinary boundaries, and exhibit obedience. However, as they mature, the child's desire to question and make independent decisions naturally emerges. At this juncture, the child requires both appropriate content in the form of proposals and the right process of selfexploration. They need encouragement to verify information through self-exploration, fostering a holistic perspective on human existence, as discussed in Chapter 1. This perspective encompasses understanding harmony across various levels of human existence, from the individual to the family, society, nature, and existence itself. Moreover, it involves the development of the competence to live harmoniously at all these levels, ultimately leading to a fulfilling life indicated by happiness and prosperity. We will discuss it in more detail in chapter 9, when we discuss education as one of the crucial societal systems. 56This holistic approach, emphasizing harmony and holistic living, is anticipated to become a central focus of future education and cultural development, Important Implications of Self-exploration It will be quite educative to learn that the process of self-exploration can results in the following important implications, which will be conducive to a fulfilling life. 1. __It'is a process of knowing oneself and through that, knowing the entire existence. 2. It is a process of recognizing one’s relationship with every unit in existence and fulfilling it 3. Itis a process of knowing human conduct and living accordingly. 4, Its a process of being in harmony within and in harmony with the entire existence. 5. Its a process of identifying our innateness and moving towards self- organization and self-expression. 6. __ It is a process of self-evolution (evolving as a human being) through self-exploration, Now, let us elaborate at bit on each point 1) It is a process of knowing oneself and through that, knowing the entire existence. Going through this process of self-exploration we are able to know about ourselves; we are able to see our natural acceptance, we are able to see ‘what we are’ in terms of our desires, thoughts and expectations; we are able to see whether things are in harmony or disharmony within. It is a process of knowing oneself The Self is the knower. When we know the Self, through the Self we can know about the other: the other human being, the rest of the nature and ultimately the entire nature and existence. It is important to know oneself first. When we are sure about ourselves, only then we can know about other things properly, we can be sure that we are not looking at the world through our coloured perception (On the other hand, when we try to understand things around us without first being sure of ourselves, all the pre-conditionings we have within, the contradictions we have within, reflect in our perception of the world. With that, when we interact with the things around us, we end up with mixed results — sometimes happy and other times unhappy. 2) It is a process of recognizing one’s relationship with every unit in existence and fulfilling that relationship. 7Through self-exploration, when | know about myself and | know about the other, I know about the nature and the whole existence; then | am able to recognise my relationship with other units in nature and also, | am able to see how to fulfil that relationship. It is a process of recognizing one’s relationship with every unit in nature, in existence and fulfilling it 3) It is a process of knowing human conduct and living accordingh Definite human conduct is living in a manner that we are able to fulfil our definite relationship with other units in nature/existence. When we know what definite human conduct is, we express it in our living. It is mutually fulfilling conduct. Therefore, first we know the Self and through the Self we know the other units in nature, in existence. Second, we are able to identify our relationship with the other units in nature, in existence; and third, we know what our conduct as a human being needs to be, and then we live accordingly leading to mutual fulfillment. This is how we can develop this competence to live with definite human conduct, The major role of education is to facilitate the development of the competence to live with definite human. ‘conduct. 4) It is a process of be existence. When we know what definite human conduct is, we ean live accordingly. In this way, we are able to live in harmony within and with others and ultimately, we are able to live in harmony with the entire existence; it is desirable and also naturally acceptable to all of us. g in harmony — within oneself and with the entire 5) It is a process of identifying our innateness and moving towards self- organization and self-expression. Now, we can see that through self-exploration — first we know our natural acceptance, what we really want to be, what is our essence, our innateness. Once we know what is naturally acceptable to us, we are able to lve in accordance with it. Then we are in harmony within, This is the self organization. When we are in harmony within, our behaviour and work is going to be naturally acceptable to the others also, therefore, we will be living in harmony with others too. And when we expand this to every unit in nature, in existence then we will be able to live in harmony with the entire existence, This is the self-expression in its real sense, 6) Itis a process of self-evolution through self-exploration. When we do this self-exploration, we discover what is naturally acceptable to us and also become aware of ‘what we are’. The very process of being in a dialogue within facilitates self-improvement. We are basically aligning ‘what we are’ and ‘what we really want to be’. We are lining up our desires, 58thoughts and expectations with our natural acceptance. By doing this, gradually we are more in harmony within and therefore, more in a state of happiness within. Thus, this process leads to our evolution. In fig. 2-4, the self-evolution and self-expression is shown. Knowing your Natural Acceptance What you really want to be Natural Acceptance Living in accordance with your Natural Acceptance Living in harmony within Self-organised Living it Farmony wih others... wi The enire exstence Self-expression x Everything lsin hammeny = Universal Human Order Fig. 2-4. Selevolution and Setrexpression ‘The purpose of this book is to initiate or augment a process of self-exploration in the reader. You can check for yourself, whether this is desirable for you or not. We are placing this up-front so that you have a full view of where we aim to reach. It is this exploration that will help us develop a holistic perspective that was mentioned in chapter 1. As we go into further chapters, these points will be detailed and clarified To conclude, the complete process of self-exploration which is depicted below (fig 2-5) yields right understanding as the tangible outcome. Right understanding can be recognised as follows: a. Itis assuring: We feel assured, we have no doubt about it. This is because it is based on our natural acceptance, which is intrinsic to us, inseparable from us. We only have to become aware of it. Once we are aware of it, once we know it, it remains obvious. No amount of input or preconditioning otherwise can influence or change understanding based on natural acceptance. b. It is satisfying: We all have the need to know, to understand. When we understand something, itis satisfying, itis fulfilling for us. ©. It is universal: We are able to see that right understanding is definite and invariant with respect to: i, Time: It holds good in all time - past, present and future 59ii, Space: Itis the same at all places or locations iii, Individual: It is the same for every human being To take an example, let us examine the proposal ‘the feeling of respect is natural in human-human relationship’. We can verify that the feeling of respect is naturally acceptable to us. We can validate that when we behave with other human being with a feeling of respect, it is naturally acceptable to the other as well. We can conclude that having a feeling of respect leads to mutual happiness. When we understand this by way of self-exploration, we can see that itis very assuring. Assuring in the sense that we have no doubt anymore; whether feeling of respect is natural or feeing of disrespect is natural: whether we need to have a feeling of respect or disrespect in our relationship. This will remain certain in us, even if we may have feeling of disrespect from time to time, due to our preconditioning. It is satisfying, as it fulfis our basic need to know. Further, we can see that itis universal: as this is true in all time — today and tomorrow; in all places; and for every human being. Do keep exploring it. a “ trvvrsty UNDERSTANDING. 6A ey w+ Fig. 2-5. Characteristics of Right Understanding In case the outcome of self-exploration does not fulfil any of the above three criteria, it means that itis not the right understanding, It could be a pre-conditioning or we have made a mistake in looking into our natural acceptance and so, we need to continue exploring. Self-exploration ultimately results in right understanding of the entire existence, ice., “realisation of co-existence”, “understanding of harmony” and “contemplation of relationship”. Once we have this right understanding and when our imagination is fully guided by it, we reach to a state of continuous harmony and happiness within. This is expressed in our behaviour, our work and in our participation with every unit in nature in a harmonious manner. It ultimately becomes the foundation for an undivided society and a universal human order. Further, when this is passed down from one generation to the next in continuity, generation after generation, it forms a human tradition of happiness and prosperity for every human being. This is the coveted outcome of value education 60The process by which we try to understand is very important. What we intend to do through this book, is to initiate, facilitate and support a process of self- exploration in you which is starting as this dialogue between us and you. Salient Points The process of understanding human values is self-exploration, i.e., by exploring within, on the basis of natural acceptance; and with that, experiential validation, i.e., by exploring outside in our living Natural acceptance is the innate capacity of every human being to see the intrinsic purpose, to see what is natural, what is right and thereby conclude What is not right. Itis not the same as the likes-dislikes or assumptions and beliefs but something definite that does not change with time, place or person. Itis innate, invariant and universal. There is a natural acceptance for relationship, harmony and co-existence in each one of us. Seff-exploration is a process of dialogue within us ~ between “what | am” (my desire-thought-expectation) and ‘what is naturally acceptable to me” (my natural acceptance). Once we start referring to our natural acceptance for questions relating to feeling and purpose, we get the right answers from. within, When “what | am” (my desire-thought-expectation) is in harmony with my natural acceptance, | am in a state of happiness, When there is a contradiction between these two, I am in a state of disharmony and unhappiness. The content of setf-exploration is: a) Desire or basic aspiration of human being, which is for continuity of happiness and prosperity and b) Programme to fulfil the basic aspiration. The process of seff-exploration is self-verification. Whatever is stated is a proposal. Do not assume it to be true or false, right or wrong. First, verify it on the basis of your natural acceptance, Next, verify it experientially - ifthe behaviour with human being results in mutual happiness and the work with rest of nature leads to mutual prosperity, only then the given proposal is right for you, otherwise itis not right for you. One evolves through self-exploration — by knowing oneself, knowing the entire nature/existence and the inter-relationship with every entity in nature. Through self-exploration, one is able to know human conduct; and live in harmony within oneself, in family, in society and in nature/existence. The outcome of selfexploration is development of right understanding. Right understanding is the understanding of the harmony from the Self to the entire existence, i.e., realisation of co-existence, understanding of harmony and contemplation of relationship; and on that basis, understanding human conduct. Right understanding is definite; it is assuring, itis satisfying and it is universal 61+ Living on the basis of right understanding (living with right understanding as our internal guide), one is in a state of harmony within, i.e, one is self- organised. With the state of harmony within, one is able to live in harmony with the outside world — the behaviour with human being leads to mutual happiness and work with rest of nature leads to mutual prosperity. This is referred to as self-extension, extending the harmony within to the world outside, Being in harmony within and being in harmony with the outside world is living with continuous happiness which is the basic aspiration of human being. For this, self-exploration is the essential starting point Test Your Understanding Part 1: Questions for Self-evaluation (Have we grasped the basic proposals made in this chapter?) 1. The process of value education has been proposed as ‘self-exploration’ What could be some other possibilities for the process of value education? 2. Explain the process of self-exploration. What is the expected result of self- exploration? Please explain the process, content and natural outcome of self-exploration with a neat diagram and two examples from your life. 3. What exactly are the following realities: a. "What | am’ b. ‘What is naturally acceptable to me’ ©. The dialogue between “what | am” and “what is naturally acceptable tome” Explain each with any three examples. 4. Describe the term ‘Natural Acceptance’. How do you make out if itis your natural acceptance or not? Describe the characteristics of Natural Acceptance. Explain with examples from your own life. 5. Distinguish between Natural Acceptance and Acceptance with a few examples. 6. Given any proposal, if one is not doing self-exploration, what are the other possibilities? Give two examples to explain. Part 2: Practice Exercises for Self-exploration (To help connect the content to one’s life, at least at the level of thought, these exercises may be done individually or in a group, particularly with friends and family members) 1. Find out if the following are naturally acceptable to you ‘Statement My present thinking] Is it (beliefs) about the | —_Naturally statement Acceptable? 62Twant to be happy T want to make others happ) Twant to be health T want to live in relationship Twant to have more than others Twant to have more than what I really need Respect elders Respect all HBTs just a sample Tal, Please make your own Tt Can you observe that when you really try, you can refer to your natural acceptance? Note any five things that appear naturally acceptable to you. Now, verify for yourself that your ‘natural acceptance’ does not change with time or place. It does not depend on your beliefs and past conditionings and that it is always there. If not, would you still call it your natural acceptance? And if not, what can it be termed as in place of natural acceptance? e.g., eating sweets. It may appear naturally acceptable. Now explore, whether it changes with time, place and individual or not. You will see that sometimes you like eating sweets, while sometimes, you do not feel like eating sweets ‘Same thing happens with place. And not everyone wants to eat sweets. Thus, it does not fulfil the criterion. It is not your ‘natural acceptance’, Then what is your natural acceptance? Find it out (here, while eating sweets is your liking, nurturing your Body is the natural acceptance). Look into yourself, into ‘what | am’ and into ‘what is naturally acceptable to me’. Make a list of at least ten things you can observe in your thought, behaviour or work. Now note these down (a sample table is given below) Whatlam|What is [Are these two|Do I feel | Dialogu (My Naturally | in Harmony or | Comfortable or |e thoughts, | Acceptabl | Contradiction | Uncomfortable behaviou |etome | 7 ? For work) Tmake my] 1 want to | Harmony Comfortable parents | make — my happy parents happy all the time But 1 get | Getting Contradiction | Uncomfortable | See angry with | angry is not example 63them naturally ). sometime | acceptable below s to me. | really want to stay calm all the time Write Write down | Harmony or [Comfortable _or down your natural | Contradiction? | Uncomfortable? other acceptance thoughts | here ou have a) Can you see that ‘what | am’ and “what is naturally acceptable to me” are two realities within you? Who else can see these two realities, other than you? Are you able to see that all those things that are naturally acceptable to you are really valuable for you? Write down the conclusions you have artived at from seeing these two realities b) Can you see that self-exploration only means that you become aware of your natural acceptance, become aware of ‘what | am" and start the internal dialogue? You are basically asking the question “is it naturally acceptable to me” to yourself? e.g,, if |do not want to get angry ever, why do | then get angry? Find out if you have assumed that on some occasions, it is a must to get angry ‘otherwise the situation will become worse, thus anger is required at times. But when Iam angry, | feel uncomfortable within as it is not naturally acceptable to me to get angry! Then what to do? Can there be some other solution? Observe how the dialogue is taking place in you and note it down. What did you learn from observing the dialogue? Look into what you really want to be and prepare a document (like a resume) as you see yourself three years from now. We can call it “future resume’ Please include the following five sub-sections: ‘a, About you i. Your academic scholastic and professional qualifications ji. Your qualities as a human being (what kind of person you will be) ili, Your ability to live in relationship with people iv. Your health v. Your work skills (what you will be able to do independently, without any help) vi. Your hobbies, co-curricular and extra-curricular interests b. About your role in your family (what responsibility you will take in your family and also what you will expect from your family) 6aChapter 3: Basic Human Aspirations and their Fulfilment Recap In the previous chapters, we explored into the need, guidelines, content and process of value education, followed by the details of self-exploration. Self- exploration is a process of understanding human values, first by exploring within, on the basis of our natural acceptance; and then by validating it experientially, by exploring outside (by living accordingly and observing the outcomes). We have also discussed about natural acceptance, and how it forms the basis of self- exploration While discussing selfexploration, we mentioned that there are two issues to be explored: first, what is the basic aspiration of a human being, and second, what is the process to fulfl this basic aspiration. In this chapter, we will discuss these two issues further. What is Meant by Basic Aspiration? Whatever we think, whatever we do is with some end in mind. We may be going to schoo! to learn and be eligible for college. We may be doing engineering in order to get a job. We may be working in a job for the salary. We may be shopping with that salary. Like that there is a chain of thoughts and actions. You can observe that when we achieve one of these, we tend to move on to something else. After school is completed, we start preparing for entrance exams. When we get admission into a college, we become concerned about the assignments, grades and the rank. Once that is done, placement becomes our target. Like that we keep doing something which we consider to be important at a given point in time. Out of these which is our basic aspiration? Is it learning what is taught in school or getting that engineering degree or the job or the salary from the job or the shopping? Let us ask ourselves: what will make us futflled? Let us find out if there is an end goal which we want to achieve through all this. Is there an end state that we want to reach and then we want the continuity of that state? That end state is our basic aspiration 65Continuous Happiness and Prosperity as Basic Human Aspirations To explore into the question of basic aspiration, ask yourself the following questions: * Do you want to be happy? * Do you want to be prosperous? * Do you want the continuity of happiness and prosperity? The answers are in affirmative yes, Right? We have a natural acceptance to be happy all the time. We have a natural acceptance to be always prosperous. The basic human aspirations are happiness, prosperity and its continuity. We may, of course, have different notions of happiness and prosperity, but we do want to be happy and prosperous, We may, at times, even feel that their continuity is not possible, but still we want to be always happy and always prosperous, There is no moment when we want to be unhappy or when we want to be deprived. This is what we are trying to confirm here by referring to our natural acceptance Basic Requirements for Fulfilment of Human Aspirations Let us explore further by asking ourselves the following questions: + Are we happy? * Are we prosperous? + Is there continuity of the two? What answer do you get? Is it an affirmative yes? As far as the basic aspiration or desire is concemed, there is very much an affirmative yes; but when it comes to our state of being, it is not always so affirmative, isn't it? There is quite a gap between our basic aspiration and our state of being (see fig. 3-1); and this is not naturally acceptable to us. Is it? 66Desire, Basic Aspiration State of Being, What We Are Do we want tobe happy? ‘Are we happy? owe want tobe prosperous? | Are we prosperous? owe want the continuity of | Is there continuity of our happiness and prosperity? | happiness and prospeiity? Why this gap? tween what werealy want io be and what Weare We wil explore ito tis Fig. 3-1. Basic Human Aspiration and State of Beng Let us continue the exploration further. Let us find out if our effort is for: = Continuity of happiness and prosperity? or — Just for accumulation of physical facility? tag «, When we reflect on all the effort we are making, we can easily see that 2B2 we are generally working for accumulation of physical facility! We are <> g expecting happiness and prosperity, but the effort is for physical things. es" We don't even find out if we have enough physical facility or not; will it actually ensure happiness and prosperity or not; but we go on accumulating more and more. We are making this effort with the assumption that we will get happiness and prosperity out of the physical things. Find out if you have assumed that happiness and prosperity will automatically come when you have enough physical facility? This may be one underlying assumption. We might be thinking that money is everything — once we have enough of it, everything will be all right - we will have happiness and prosperity. We may not even be aware that we have such an assumption driving our effort! So, go ahead and check if this is the case, We can explore further by asking ourselves: What effort are we making for continuity of happiness and prosperity, other than accumulation of physical facility? If we have not assumed that physical facilty is all that is required; then what else are we doing apart from that? This is something we need to explore in our own life Where are we putting in our effort? We spend time in eating, sleeping, developing skills, working, watching TV and so on, We are putting in most of our effort for physical facility. This may be because most of the time, we have been trained to study for it, work for it and achieve it as much as possible. With all that effort, even 07if we are missing on account of happiness, we tend to keep working harder and harder for more and more physical facility If continuity of happiness and prosperity is not achieved by just accumulating physical facility then what else is essential to do? Let's try to find out by asking this question to ourselves: Is the unhappiness in my family = More due to lack of physical facility or = More due to lack of fulfilment in relationship? Whenever there is any unhappiness in your family, what is the major reason for it? When you explore into it, you will find that the major reason for the unhappiness in the family is the lack of fulfiment in relationship. Don't just accept this conclusion but check it yourself. Now to look at the investment of your effort, find out: = How much time and effort you are investing for physical facility, and = How much time and effort you are investing for fulfilment in relationship? What is, roughly, the percentage of your total time and effort spent for physical facility? Eating, sleeping, working, studying and so on are all related to physical facility. You can find out for yourself how your time is spent. Generally, most of the time and effort is being invested for physical facility, assuming that everything is going to be fine when there is enough physical facility; then there will be no problem; there will be no unhappiness in the family. In the meanwhile, if any issue of relationship has cropped up, we try to invest some time to patch it up or somehow manage it. Many times, we again invest physical facility to compensate for the dissatisfactions or complaints in relationship. If we are not able to give time to the family in day-to-day life, we then try to spend time with them on weekends, on dining out, by watching movies together or giving some gift, and so on. All this is possible only by investing physical facility, so we work even harder. But, does it work? The problems are more due to lack of fulfilment in relationship, and we are investing major part of our time and effort for physical facility. We are so careful about investing money and other material resources. But when it comes to investing ourselves, our time and effort for relationship, we are not very aware about it. This is certainly not a right kind o Can you see that: 68The unhappiness in your family is more due to lack of fulfilment in relationship, but the major part of time, or most of the time and effort, is spent for physical facility? With allthis discussion, the conclusion that we want to draw out of this is a very simple one: For human bel also necessary. 19 physical facility is necessary, but rel Does it make sense? Is it true for you? Now we can see that as far as human being is concemed, physical facility is a necessity, but relationship is also necessary. Both are important. In fact, by seeing this, we can understand the difference between animals and human beings. Physical facility is necessary for animals as well as for human beings. For animals, itis necessary as well as adequate (which means that animals can be satisfied with physical facility alone). But when it comes to human beings, that is not the case — physical facility is a necessity, but physical facility alone is not going to suffice for the fulfilment of human being To take an example, when an animal has lack of physical facility, it becomes uncomfortable. When it has the physical facily, it becomes comfortable. When a cow gets a stomach full of grass, it become comfortable, sits and chews the cud. With enough grass to fill the stomach, the cow is comfortable. But, what about a human being? When a human being has lack of physical facility, (she becomes uncomfortable and unhappy. Once (s)he gets the physical facility, (s)he forgets about it and starts thinking about many other things. Does it happen with you? Once you do not have a facility that you need, you keep thinking about how to get it. If one does not have enough to eat, (s)he will feel low. But once (s)he has enough food, it is simply ignored, forgotten. If we don't get enough to eat, we are uncomfortable and unhappy. If we have enough to eat, we tend to forget about food and start thinking of many other things. Ifyou do not have a house of your own, it occupies your thought much of the time. But once you have a house of your own, you simply forget about it and start thinking about so many other things, like furniture in the house, your career, your social connections, etc, And if they are not up to your expectations, you start 69feeling anxious. Seldom you feel happy that you have a house of your own. Can you see that? We keep asking participants of our human value workshops, "Do you know how many pairs of clothes you have"? Generally, not more than 10% of the people even know how many pairs of clothes they have. That means if we did not have clothes, we would have been be unhappy and uncomfortable, but now that we have clothes, most of us tend to forget about it, And of course, we have many other things to think about. ‘So, we can conclude that physical facility is necessary for animals; it is necessary for human beings also; However: + For animals, physical facilty is necessary as well as adequate. For human beings, physical facility is necessary but physical facility alone is not adequate. Foranimals: roceseary & largely; adequate RELATIONSHIP with human being PHYSICAL FACILITY With nature For human beings: necessary but not adequate Fig. 3-2. For Human Being, Physical Faciily is Necessary but Relationstip is also Necessary When it comes to human being, the lack of physical facility makes hinvher uncomfortable and unhappy, but availability of physical facility alone does not ensure the feeling of happiness or prosperity, Something more is required, And if you look at what more is required, fulfilment in relationship is also required (see fig. 3-2). Can you see this? Imagine being in a five-star hotel for a month with every facility = except that you have no one to talk to! While we do have a natural acceptance to lve in relationship, are we actually living in relationship? Have we understood this or just assumed it? To explore this further, find out if 1. You want to live in relationship (harmony) with others or 2. You want to live in opposition with others or 3. You believe, living has to be necessarily in opposition with others, i.e, there is 'struggle for survival, ‘survival of the fittest’ and if you feel happy living this way? 70A little introspection will show that out of these three, what is naturally acceptable is the first one. Isn't it? You certainly do not want to live in opposition with others. But you may be conditioned to think in a manner as mentioned in the third option, because this is mostly what we are teaching today in the schools and colleges. Relationship is naturally acceptable to us but what we are trying to teach the children is opposition and struggle. If we adopt the third option, it has significant negative implications in our life, in the family and in the society. And we can see this all around today. In relationship, what is generally happening today is something like this: Every time when there is fight, we want to resolve it. We start the next day with the thought that we don't want to fight today; but a fight takes place again (sometimes by the end of the same day) Does this happen with you, with your brother, sister, father, mother, spouse, children, with your friends, co-workers, etc.? Getting irritated, angry, not speaking for days on end, dragging each other to court, divorces, etc, are indicators of the situation in relationship. While there is a willingness to live in relationship, the right understanding about relationship is lacking; the competence to fulfil the relationship is lacking. That is why this fight and all these other problems in relationship happen again and again. We think it is the fault of the other person — we want them to improve; they think its our fault and they want us to improve; neither improves and we somehow try to manage relationship. For ensuring fulfilment in relationship, it is necessary to have right understanding about relationship. Can you see this? Further, right understanding about oneself vis-a-vis rest of nature is also necessary in order to correctly assess our need for physical facility and the correct method for making it available, Right Understanding, Relationship and Physical Facility — All Three are Required for Fulfilment of Human Being From the preceding discussion, it may be concluded that for fulfilment of human being — physical facility, relationship and right understanding - all three are necessary. Itis indicated in fig. 3-3 nRIGHT UNDERSTANDING inthe self RELTIONSHIE PHYSICAL FACILITY ith human with rest afrnature being Fig. 3-3. For Human Being, Physical Facity, Fulfimert in Relationship ‘a5 weil as Right Understanding are Necessary Now you can find out if all three of them are required or you can do away with any of them. Do you need physical facility? Do you need fulfilment in relationship? Do you need right understanding? Is there anything unnecessary, superfluous? We can easily make out that all three are required, These three are of different types. To explore this further, let us look at these situations: Itis hot and humid and you are sweating. If you switch on an air conditioner, does the cool air from it help? You can see that it makes the environment more conducive, and your body is no longer sweating. The air conditioner and cool air are physical facility. It is useful for protecting the Body from excessive heat Now, you are sitting in that air-conditioned room. A person, with whom you have a feeling of opposition walks into the room. Your body is comfortable with the cool air, but how do you feel within? Comfortable or uncomfortable? With a little exploration you will be able to see that you would feel uncomfortable. It is due to the feeling of opposition that is within you. Check if it will make any difference if you made the room cooler (or warmer)? After this person has left the room, you are sitting alone but you are still thinking of that person, You have contradictions in your thought. You are thinking about how to resolve these contradictions but you are unable to. Will you feel comfortable within or uncomfortable within? Once again, you can see that you will be uncomfortable within, regardless of the temperature of the air conditioner. Without the requisite knowledge, the right understanding (of relationship and the feelings in relationship) can you resolve these contradictions? Can any amount of physical facility resolve these contradictions in you? nRWe can see that physical facility, relationship and right understanding are three distinct realities. When we look them in more detail, we can see that: ‘+ Right understanding (in the Self) is understanding myself, understanding all that I live with (the entire existence) and understanding my role with respect to all that I live with, i.e., myself, my family, society, nature/existence. ‘+ Relationship is essentially the feeling | have for other human beings (in the family, in the society) ‘+ Physical facility includes all things physical. All three are required for fulfilment of human being, One cannot be substituted for the other, Next, let us find out if we are taking care of all three of them or we are largely focusing on physical facility? You can see that we need all three of them, but today the major focus is on physical facility. Now, you can verify if this prevalent belief that physical facility can take care of everything is true or not, Can we take care of, relationship with physical facility alone? Can we take care of right understanding with physical facility alone? Priority — Right Understanding, Relationship and Physical Facility Now, the next question is that if all three of them are required, what is going to be the priority? Priority indicates what is fundamental, what is the relative importance. Working on the higher priority facilitates the fulfilment of the lower priority. It does not mean that we can do away with the lower priority. To identify the priority order, find out What is fundamental, what is going to facilitate the other. We can ask this question about priority directly to ourselves to get the answer. Take some time and think it over. All three of them are required. Right understanding in the Self is a priority because only with right understanding we can ensure fulfilment in relationship; and we are able to make out how much physical facility is required. Therefore, right understanding is the first priority. As we discussed, the problems in the family are more due to lack of fulfilment in relationship, rather than the lack of physical facility. It indicates that relationship is more important than physical facility. To take an example, we can take a look at the sharing of this lady who participated in one of the evening human values workshops. Two days after the exploration of the three distinct realities and their priority — right understanding, relationship and physical facility, she shared that while she Bhad come into the workshop with the assumption that physical facility was the major priority in life, her exploration during the workshop helped her see things differently. She was in the kitchen, while her two sons, aged about five and eight, were playing cricket inside the house. Hearing the sound of a shattered window pane, she rushed out of the kitchen. But before she reached the children, she recollected the newly proposed priority. She has not had an opportunity to verify the priority yet, it was stil unverified. While walking towards the children, she reflected on this proposal and reflected, "/ can get the window pane repaired for a small amount, but it would take much more if | were to lose the affection of my children’. She recognised her feeling which reflected outside as follows. She asked the boys, ‘I hope you are not hurt’, while she collected the broken glass pieces and put them in the dustbin. ‘We are OK" said the older one. And as she was going back to the kitchen, the younger one said, “Won't you beat us?”. He had this question based on past behaviour of his mother — who, in a state of unawareness, valued physical facility more than the children’s feelings! Now, if you look at this overall priority, right understanding is the first priority, fulfilment in relationship with human being is the second priority and ensuring physical facility with rest of nature is the third priority Regarding priority, we will keep it open as to whether this is the right priority for you or not ~ feel free to experiment with the priority order and come to your own conclusion. One thing is very clear that all three of them are required — the right understanding in the Selfis required, the fulfilment in relationship with human being is required and physical facility (with rest of nature) is required; and all three have to be ensured separately (one cannot be substituted by the other) Itis interesting that out of these three, today, generally we are not taking care of the first priority; we are not taking care of the second priority: the major focus is on the third priority. Can you see this? Can you see that our major focus is not on right understanding in the Self, not on fulfilment in relationship, but the major focus is ‘on physical facility? And now you can see that if we are not focusing on the first two priorities and we are only trying to work with physical facility, where will we end up? Similarly, if we take care of all three of them, what is the result? What is the ‘outcome? We would like to investigate this next. If we are only working for physical facility, the outcome is depicted in fig. 3-4. At the level of physical facility, we are feeling deprived and we are making others deprived or exploiting others. When we don't have right understanding (about relationship) in the Self, we are not able to ensure fulfilment in relationship, therefore, we are unhappy within. When we are unhappy within, we are going to make others unhappy, isn’t it? 74PHYSICAL FACILITY with rest of nature necessary but not adequate | UNHAPPINESS DEPRIVATION Making others Unhappy Exploiting and Depriving others Fig. 3-4. Human Being Living with Physical Faciity as the First Prionty To exemplify this point, we particularly ask mothers, ‘when do you shout or beat the child? When you are comfortable within or uncomfortable within"? The answer is simple — uncomfortable within. When you are unhappy within, you make the other unhappy. You can find this out for yourself, in the interactions with family members and friends. If we don't have right understanding about relationship, we don't know about the feelings in relationship. If we have not ensured those feelings in us, we are unhappy within. In that state of unhappiness, we are not able to ensure fulfilment in relationship — we make others unhappy. This is one outcome. The other outcome is that if the right understanding is missing, we are not able to identify our need for physical facility. Now, if we are not able to identify our need for physical facility then regardless of how much physical facility we accumulate, we never feel that we have enough. We keep wanting more. This feeling of not having enough is the feeling of deprivation, Now, if we have a feeling of deprivation, will we think of nurturing others or exploiting others? Find it out. Again, the answer is simple — we will think of exploiting others to get more and more physical facility Once, while taking tea with students, we asked them a funny question, “come, let's find out how much tea will be needed to fill this cup — if it does not have a bottom?" Naturally, they were amused and smilingly replied, “sir, are you joking? It is so obvious that if this cup doesn't have a bottom there is no question of it getting filled: no amount of tea will be sufficient to fill it up. But why are you asking us such a trivial question"? Then the discussion continued, “so, you can see that if this cup has no bottom, there 5