The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 11 - GUIDED TEST PRACTICE 1
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Table of Contents General Training Task A
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Step 2 Plan

Steps 3 and 4 In this lesson, you will learn about: Font size: 1em /

11.1
SECTION TWO: TEST Practice Managing your time
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11.2
Key Ideas about Test practice Thinking and Planning height
11.3
Useful practice activities Writing and Checking
Lesson 11 Guided Test Practice 1
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Lesson 12 Addressing band 6 problems

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Lesson 13 Guided Test Practice 1 Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS
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Lesson 14 Guided Test Practice 3 & Review of introductions

Lesson 15 Addressing Band 6 Problems Scroll

Lesson 16 Guided Test Practice 4 AC Task 2: To What

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Lesson 17 Guided Test Practice 5 AC Task 3: More

Lesson 18 Guided Test Practice 6, AC Task 4: More Logout

Lesson 19 Overview and Review

 11.1 Managing your time
Our first task is from the Cambridge IELTS 9 Test Practice book, page 117, and is a General Training
question. The question says:

Being a celebrity – such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well
as benefits.
Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or more problems?

Comments on the task:

This question presents a claim that someone has made about being a celebrity – we don’t know
who. Some questions will refer to the people making the claim (e.g. Some people believe that …’).
‘

In either case, it is the claim or argument being made that you must respond to and focus on, not
the people making it.

The statement includes examples to help you understand the word ‘celebrity’. You can refer to
these in your essay, but you do not have to – the purpose of these examples is to help you
understand the context for the essay you need to produce in response.

Always pay close attention to any descriptive words that limit the topic. The examples here make it

clear that you should write about all types of celebrities, not just one specific type.

This was my first timed essay using the planner, so it took me longer than usual to produce my answer.
I repeated the task several times and I recommend you do this too. It not only helped me get used to

planning in this way, but also trained me to think and write in a disciplined way.

To time myself, I used an app that tracks the amount of time you spend on a task. You could also use a
stopwatch, so when you end one step you can click to start a new ‘lap’, and you do not need to pause
to record your time. The following is breakdown of the timing I recommend for your first attempts.
The following recommended timings are based on my own experience:

Steps Recommended
time

Think 1-2 mins

Think about the question and identify: the general

topic, the specific issue, the focus, possible themes,
your initial position

Plan 8 mins

Brainstorm to get initial ideas (gather evidence)

Think critically to connect and organise ideas into
a clear balanced argument that supports your
position

Write 18 – 20 mins
(take more time
Write out the essay based on your plan
if writing by

hand)

Check 7 mins

Check your position and argument are clear

throughout; check there is one clear topic in each
paragraph – PEEL structure
Check language - make language changes for
clarity or to avoid repetition; correct errors

Total time taken: 33 – 37 mins

Time left for proofreading (typos and error spotting) 3 – 7 mins

Points to notice:

Using the planner and the Think, Plan, Write, Check (T.P.W.C) approach ensures you address all
of the assessment criteria. Any problems with your argument and position are addressed in the
thinking and planning stage, before you start writing your essay. This means that you are clear
about your response to the task, which helps to make your writing clear too. The planner guides
the organisation of your essay and your body paragraphs to ensure good Coherence and
cohesion.
 Checking is done in several stages. First, to improve Coherence and cohesion, and then to refine
your language and check for errors (Lexical resource and Grammatical range and accuracy). Don’t
use this stage to ‘upgrade’ your language but to make your ideas clearer, avoid repetition, and
correct slips.

I will take you through the planning of this essay step by step. If you already feel confident enough
about your thinking and planning, just skim read, or skip ahead to ‘Checking your plan’ at the end of
11.2. Otherwise, print off a copy of the planner and follow along with the steps.
 11.2 Thinking and Planning
Step 1 – Think

Thinking about the question

Read the question carefully. Identify the context (the general topic of the question); who or what
you will need to focus on; the main issue raised in the question; and any possible themes (you can
review this idea in lessons 9 and 10). Don’t worry if you cannot identify many themes at this point,
these may emerge later, when you are brainstorming. At the very least, you should be able to list
themes mentioned in the question, such as ‘being a celebrity’, or ‘fame’. Just be sure that any
themes you identify are relevant to the issue in the question.
Turn the statement into a question – this helps to highlight the main issue, decide on your position,
and also when paraphrasing later.
Decide on your initial position, and identify the two ‘sides’ of the essay. As with our previous task,
the two sides here are quite clear: the ‘benefits’ and the ‘problems’ of being a celebrity.

These are the notes I made in the introduction section of my planner. As you can see, I don’t have
many themes yet, but these are enough to get started:

Step 2 - Plan
Gathering evidence for your argument
In the first stage of brainstorming, the ideas that pop into your head are not fully formed yet; they may
just be key words, and not all of them will be helpful or relevant to your essay.

To get started, use the themes you identified as headings, ask questions, and use your imagination to
visualise the issue. As we saw in previous lessons, with issues related to life and lifestyle, there are
some recurring themes, such as money, accommodation, food, and socialising . Use these for
inspiration if necessary.

When you imagine celebrities, what are the first thoughts or images that come to
mind?
What problems and benefits do you think celebrities have? (Think about the themes of
money, life, and work.)
 Imagine being a celebrity yourself – does the idea appeal to you? Does it make you
feel happy? (Why? Why not?)

Spend about 3 minutes gathering your own initial ideas before looking at my notes. If you don’t have
enough ideas, keep thinking and visualising – use what you do know to think about what you don’t
know. Ask yourself these further questions to gather more evidence for your argument:

If was famous, what would my life be like?

I

How would I feel if my life was like this - What would I enjoy? What would I not enjoy?
Why?
What effect would that have on me, my family, my friends?
Why? How do I know this?

This is what I initially wrote under my two headings. Remember, I will not use all of these ideas in my
essay – these are just initial thoughts and a good place to start.
My initial notes:
When I looked over my plan at this stage, I quickly realised that all of my knowledge about celebrities
comes from stories in the media, and that ‘the media’ will feature in both body paragraphs of my essay.
When you identify a common theme like this, especially one that is not mentioned in the question, you
need to make sure that it is relevant to the task, so that it doesn’t take your argument away on a
different tangent. After thinking this through, I realised that ‘the media’ cannot be separated from the
idea of ‘fame’, because the media creates this fame, so I added it to my list of themes. Nevertheless, I
need to be careful to only discuss the media in the context of the problems and benefits of being
famous, and also to explain my perspective on this.

KEY IDEA : If you identify a recurring theme in your plan, be sure it is relevant to your task and to
discuss it in the context of the issue raised in the question. For example, in this essay, I must
discuss the media as it relates to being a celebrity, not simply ‘the media’. Remember, the
examiner cannot read your make, so be sure to make your perspective and thinking clear.

Look back at your notes, are there any themes you need to add to your list?

Making connections - building your argument

Think through your initial ideas to see whether they are relevant, how they are connected, and how they
can be used to persuade the examiner that your argument and position is a valid one. My position for
this essay is that there are more problems than benefits to being a celebrity. Your position may be quite
different to mine – all that matters is that you can explain why you believe it.

KEY IDEA : It isn’t enough to ‘get ideas’, you also need to check they are relevant, show how they
are connected, and make sure they support your argument and position.

To help you gather supporting evidence and build an argument, ask these questions:

What does this show? How? Why?

What impact does this have?
What else does it show?

Deleting irrelevant ideas

When considering the negatives, I realised that celebrities can’t really do whatever they want, and so I
crossed out this idea in my benefits column. Remember, thinking about the negatives helps you to think
clearly about the benefits (and vice versa), which is why having the two columns side by side is useful.
 When planning your argument, remember to:

identify the general points you want to make – these are the main ideas you need to make
clear. To develop these, think about what your evidence shows.

check if there are any ideas in your plan that you need to delete (e.g. because they are not
relevant / they are not helpful / they repeat another idea).

think about how your ideas will be connected and use symbols to show this.

think about your position and what you are trying to prove or show. Can you identify any
points on the opposite side that you can concede and refute to make your argument
stronger?

think about organisation – do you need to move any ideas to a different heading or body
paragraph?

get an overview of each paragraph and write your first and final paragraph sentences.

This is what my notes looked like after this second stage:

My real notes are a lot messier than this, but they still serve my purpose, and planning means that this
messy stage occurs in my notes and not in my finished essay. Notice that I sometimes delete ideas or
add to my ideas (e.g. I changed ‘they spend a lot’ to ‘they have to spend a lot’. However, this idea got
cut from my final draft because explaining it made the paragraph too long and I felt I had already made
enough points about the problems of being a celebrity. Which idea/s in my 'problems' column do you
think I might use to concede or refute a point in the 'benefits' column to strengthen my overall position
and argument?

Points to remember:

The symbols in my notes map out my argument. They show how my ideas are connected and help
in the writing stage. For example, if there is a plus (+) sign then I will need to use connectors like
In addition, also, furthermore etc.; the arrows (⇒) show when one idea leads to , or causes ,
another, so, these will be connected using phrases like as a result, thus, because , and so on.
However, I can also connect my ideas through synonyms and pronouns, to avoid over-use and
repetition.

The sentences that begin and end each paragraph are very important. They will act as a frame,
summarise the conclusions in this argument, and show how each paragraph is linked to the
question.

The plan helps to check that my argument is balanced and that it supports my overall position. For
example, I need my argument to prove that there are more problems than benefits to being a

celebrity . This means that the ideas in my ‘problem’ column must be stronger than those in the
‘benefits’ column. This is also why it will help if I 'refute' some of the arguments in the benefits column.

Checking your plan

read the test question again to make sure you have not forgotten to address any part of it

make sure you have enough ideas on each side and delete or add any as necessary
identify your main ideas and the supporting evidence for these ideas - is there enough /
too much? Cross out any ideas you will not need to use
check that your ideas all relate to the main context: the problems or benefits of being a
celebrity
check that your argument addresses the question: are there more benefits or more
challenges?
make sure you understand how your ideas are connected
organise your ideas logically and decide on the best order for them
Now make notes for your conclusion, and think about whether you can add any relevant ideas to your
introduction. For example, I added a reference to the recurring theme of ‘the media’ to my introduction.
Try to think of any umbrella terms that will help you to paraphrase your ideas in your introduction and
conclusion.

KEY IDEA : In a timed writing test, even educated native speakers cannot present a clear logical
argument, and show clear progression and development, without planning first. See your plan as a
rough first draft that will help you produce a much better second draft.

Here are my final notes for this essay. Again, this is a neat, typed-up copy – my real notes are
handwritten and are quite messy!
 11.3 Writing and Checking

Step 3 – Write
In the previous lessons, I have attempted to show the mental aspect of the writing process. This begins
during planning, and continues as we write. Now that your argument is planned, when writing, you can
focus on explaining it as clearly and precisely as possible, choosing the most appropriate words and
phrases to do this. In my essays, although my overall argument remains the same, the way that I
express the ideas in it often changes as I write.

This type of rewriting is part of my everyday job, but it could be seen as a disadvantage in a test
situation – writers are very rarely satisfied with what they produce. Do not feel that you must do the
same, it is absolutely fine to use the same language that you used in your plan – you do not need to
‘boost’ your language.

KEY IDEA : Candidates at the lower levels tend to think about ‘boosting’ their score by using high-
level words and grammar. Because of this, they focus more on language than clear communication
or building a valid argument. When you reach the stage where you are focused on your argument,
your position, and your overall message, you will be on your way to reaching band 7 and above.

Writing tone and style

At the start of this section, I recommended giving a talk based on your plan to help improve your writing
fluency. However, it is important to remember that the tone of your writing must be written rather than
spoken. If the language you used when planning your answer is informal and personal in tone, you will
need to change this when writing your essay, which should be formal and impersonal.

The following idea from lesson 10 will help with this:

To make your language less personal, try to think in a broader, more general way. For example:
Personal answer : I would miss my family a lot and feel lonely.
More general idea : Studying abroad means living away from your family, which can make people
feel lonely.

The exercises in the practice section below will highlight some common problems related to tone and
style and help you work on this.

Step 4 – Check
Editing and correcting
All of us have to edit and correct our writing – there is no magic level where you will no longer make
mistakes. When typing, my mistakes often involve hitting the wrong keys; when writing by hand,
although I can think more clearly, my handwriting becomes much less neat as I write – my pen cannot
keep pace with my thoughts. This is why typing out my final answers works better for me. If I were
taking the paper-based test, I would need to spend some time training myself to write more slowly and
legibly, and you must do the same.

Once I have written out my essay, I check or edit it in several stages. As I read through, I try to ‘hear’
the words in my mind. Read your own essays aloud to practise this – you will find you stumble or
hesitate whenever there is a problem in your writing. It helps spot errors and repetition, and also shows
which ideas are still unclear. My checking and editing speeds up as I become more familiar with what I
have written and the language is made clearer. By the final stage, I can focus on the one or two
sentences I feel are still not as clear as they could be.

Proofreading
This is different to editing and involves looking for smaller errors (typos, missed commas, missed words
etc.). This type of error is more difficult to spot because our brain automatically ‘corrects’ them as we
read. Even after 4 people had checked this text, another reader found typing mistakes that we had all
missed. Errors like this are acknowledged within the criteria for grammar and vocabulary, which both
allow for rare minor errors that occur only as slips’, even at band 9. As you edit, you need to be careful
‘

not to introduce more errors, which is easily done when you change a verb or a phrase. You’ll find some
examples like this below. If your handwriting tends to become less clear as you write, in the
proofreading stage, go over individual letters that may be unclear to your examiner. You can find a post
about this on my website.

KEY IDEA : A skilled writer is not someone who immediately knows exactly the right way to explain
something and never makes mistakes. A skilled writer takes the time to think clearly, plan, and edit
in order to refine their writing and make any necessary changes.

When you are checking your writing, look out for any language errors you know you are prone to
making – the fossilised errors I mentioned in The Key to IELTS Success . For example, do you often
miss out articles, make errors with verb / subject agreement, or with the spelling of certain words?
Later, when we work through problematic essays, use the language exercises to help identify your own
weaknesses.

Either use your plan to write your own essay now, or wait until you have completed the language
practice below, which included listening exercises based on my model answer.
 Practice
1) Language tone and style
Below, in red, you will find some examples of problems with style or language from band 6.5 essays.
Can you identify the problems and try to correct them? Make notes on the worksheet below then click
on 'check answers' to see my comments and corrections.
1) Given the above argument, it is clear how vital this matter is, so you
I feel I can go further and
support a limited amount of punishment .
2) As for the advantages of living in an apartment, I will delineate them in sequence below.
3) Younger staff can perform the exact same job for less pay than what the older employees
can.
4) It’s important for parents to teach their kids how to behave.
5) Besides, employers must create a healthy work environment.

Language note

Besides is more accurately used to add a final conclusive point in a

spoken argument, like this one:

‘Idecided not to go because the air fare is really expensive. Besides , I

really just want to stay here this summer. ’

When used more formally, it is followed by a noun or gerund (the ‘ing’ form
of a verb), or we can say, Besides this , ….’. Look at the following
‘

examples:

1) Besides pay ing staff, employers must also provide a healthy work
environment.
2) Employers must pay their staff a fair wage. Besides this , they have to
provide a healthy work environment.
2) Proofreading
Here are some errors I noticed when editing my essay. Can you find the errors and correct them? Make
notes on the worksheet below then click on 'check answers' to see my comments.
1. The images the media shows us shows…
2. celebrities are able to get earn even more money by
3. the negative stories … sell more newspapers or attracts more clicks
4. and the loss privacy is

5. the riches that fame brings is a clear benefit

The listening exercises below are based on my model answer to this essay. To prepare to listen, look
back at my completed plan for this essay:

Listening exercise
Again, see this as a language building exercise not a listening test. The first exercise encourages you
to just listen and think about my argument and ideas. With the second task, try to fill in the gaps using
what you know about language as well as what you hear. The words and phrases that are missing are
all related to Task response or Coherence and cohesion; they are either making a point (to make my
position or argument clear) or showing how ideas are connected, and organised, so this activity will
also help you focus on accuracy in grammar and vocabulary. Click on the button below to begin.

Before you look at my complete model answer again, here are some ideas for how to use models like
this:

How to use the model answers

Try to vary the way that you use the model answers and return to them again at a later stage. The
ideas below will help you exploit the models in this book:
Task response :

Focus on the argument and how I made my position clear. Notice the role that language (both
vocabulary and grammar) play in that. For example, the use of modals, choice of vocabulary etc.

Coherence and cohesion :

Think about the organisation of ideas and the one central idea or topic in each paragraph. Notice the
use of cohesive devices, including: referencing; the use of synonyms to refer back to a previous idea;
the use of connecting words and phrases.

Grammatical range :

Notice different points of grammar each time you read the model. For example: nouns and whether
they have an article or not; verb tenses; prepositions; modals; relative clauses; the use of commas.
Notice also the use of different sentence lengths.

Lexical resource :

Notice the use of synonyms throughout the essay. Many band 6.5 candidates try to showcase their
knowledge of vocabulary related to the topic in the question, but the result is often unnatural and does
not show ‘an awareness of style’ (band 7). In the models, you will see that it is much more natural to
occasionally repeat key words.
Make a note of any words and phrases you would like to learn. To review and practise new language,
read a sentence aloud, think about the meaning and the main idea in it, then try to write it using as
many of the original words and phrases as you can recall.

Click on the button to see my complete model for this essay.

You can find a different version of this essay in the Extra practice section.

Extra practice
Most essays I see based on this task take the position that ‘fame has more benefits than problems’
but then fail to make a very convincing argument. To practise making a valid argument, and
making your position clear throughout, write out a plan for an argument that is the opposite of the
argument you made in your essay (e.g. showing that there are more benefits than problems).

Write your essay when you are sure that you can make a valid, convincing argument.

You can read my second essay by clicking on the button below. Make a note of each of the
sentences that help make my new position clear.

Save the plans you have made in this lesson and come back to them after a week or more. Re-
read your plan, make any changes you decide on, then write your essay again. You may find that
you change the ideas you include or the argument you make. You may also find a different way to
express your ideas, which is very useful writing practice.
QUESTION 1
What writing style problems can you identify in sentences 1 to 5 above? Make
notes below then go on to question 2.

QUESTION 2
Can you correct the errors in sentences 1-5? Write your own version here and
then click on 'Show answers' to see my corrections. NB for sentences 1 and 2,
there are several possible corrections - these are just my suggestions.

Show answers
QUESTION 1
What writing style problems can you identify in sentences 1 to 5 above? Make
notes below then go on to question 2.

QUESTION 2
Can you correct the errors in sentences 1-5? Write your own version here and
then click on 'Show answers' to see my corrections. NB for sentences 1 and 2,
there are several possible corrections - these are just my suggestions.
All done !
 Proofreading worksheet

Can you spot the problems in sentences 1-5 from the first draft of my essay?
What changes do you think I made to solve these problems?
Make notes below then click on 'show answers' to see my comments and
corrections.

Show answers
Can you spot the problems in sentences 1-5 from the first draft of my essay?
What changes do you think I made to solve these problems?
Make notes below then click on 'show answers' to see my comments and
corrections.

1) Problems: there is repetition of the verb ‘shows’ and there is a verb/ subject
agreement problem ( ‘the images ....shows us’.)
Solution: I changed this to ‘The images presented in the media show us...'.

2) Problem: there is an extra word

Solution: I deleted the word 'get'

3) Problem: there is a verb / subject agreement problem (it says 'stories...attracts' )

Solution: I changed this to: 'the negative stories … ...attract more clicks'

4) Problem: there is a missing preposition

Solution: I added 'of': 'loss of privacy'

5) Problem: there is a verb/subject agreement problem (it says ‘the riches …is a’)
Solution: This should be 'the riches are' but this sounded odd to me so I changed it to:
‘The wealth that fame brings is...’ to keep the singular form.

All done !
QUESTION 1
Listen to the recording of my essay. As you listen, try to be aware of my
position and how I made it clear throughout. Can you follow my argument? Are
my main ideas clear and well organised?

Which of the following sentences would be suitable as a thesis statement to

add to my the end of my introduction? (NB you may choose more than one.)

00:00 02:38

There are more advantages than disadvantages.

In my view, the latter outweigh the former.

Personally, I believe that being a celebrity is a rewarding experience.

This essay will argue that the challenges are far greater.

QUESTION 2

Listen to the recording again. To improve your accuracy, as you listen, fill in the
blanks. You will need to write two words in each space.

00:00 02:38

Fame and on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people. Because

, stories about them help to sell thousands of newspapers and magazines.

benefits of fame are not without .

clear advantages to being famous. The images presented in the media show us
celebrities enjoying an enviable lifestyle: they live in huge mansions, drive expensive cars, and wear the latest in high
fashion. Thus, fame . , their

frequent appearances in the media mean that celebrities have an influence that their

professional skills. stems from the fact that young people want to be like them,

the famous can earn money by endorsing different

products and brands. being in the spotlight rewarding,

benefits of fame be financial

.
Nevertheless, of fame also problems.

to and the notion of fame itself are both

appearing in on a , which

means that very . The same media that creates their fame

is also very happy to that are less positive. In fact, it could

that negative stories newspapers or attract more clicks than

. an of pressure not only on

the individuals concerned, on the people close . As a

result, and family life suffer. Clearly, the fortune that stems from fame

a substantial .

In summary, although there are benefits famous, there

are also enormous . In my view, the constant is

intrusive, and is much

a price to the .

Show answers
QUESTION 1
Listen to the recording of my essay. As you listen, try to be aware of my
position and how I made it clear throughout. Can you follow my argument? Are
my main ideas clear and well organised?

Which of the following sentences would be suitable as a thesis statement to

add to my the end of my introduction? (NB you may choose more than one.)

00:00 02:38

There are more advantages than disadvantages.

In my view, the latter outweigh the former.

Personally, I believe that being a celebrity is a rewarding experience.

This essay will argue that the challenges are far greater.

My position in this essay is that there are more challenges than benefits. Adding this
sentence to my introduction is a personal choice. You will see that I don't always add a
thesis statement to my introduction.

QUESTION 2

Listen to the recording again. To improve your accuracy, as you listen, fill in the
blanks. You will need to write two words in each space.

00:00 02:38

Fame and on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people. Because

, stories about them help to sell thousands of newspapers and magazines.

benefits of fame are not without .

clear advantages to being famous. The images presented in the media show us
celebrities enjoying an enviable lifestyle: they live in huge mansions, drive expensive cars, and wear the latest in high
fashion. Thus, fame . , their

frequent appearances in the media mean that celebrities have an influence that their

professional skills. stems from the fact that young people want to be like them,

the famous can earn money by endorsing different

products and brands. being in the spotlight rewarding,

 benefits of fame be financial

Nevertheless, of fame also problems.

to and the notion of fame itself are both

appearing in on a , which

means that very . The same media that creates their fame

is also very happy to that are less positive. In fact, it could

that negative stories newspapers or attract more clicks than

. an of pressure not only on

the individuals concerned, on the people close . As a

result, and family life suffer. Clearly, the fortune that stems from fame

a substantial .

In summary, although there are benefits famous, there

are also enormous . In my view, the constant is

intrusive, and is much

a price to the .

The answer:

Fame and its impact on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people. Because of
this , stories about them help to sell thousands of newspapers and magazines.
However, the benefits of fame are not without their challenges .

There are clear advantages to being famous. The images presented in the media show
us celebrities enjoying an enviable lifestyle: they live in huge mansions, drive expensive
cars, and wear the latest in high fashion. Thus, fame clearly brings great wealth . In
addition , their frequent appearances in the media mean that celebrities have an
influence that extends beyond their professional skills. This influence stems from the
fact that young people want to be like them, and so the famous can earn even more
money by endorsing different products and brands. Although just being in the spotlight
may be rewarding, the main benefits of fame appear to be financial and material .

Nevertheless, this level of fame also has its problems. The ability to influence others
and the notion of fame itself are both dependent on appearing in the media on a regular
basis , which means that celebrities have very little privacy . The same media that
creates their fame is also very happy to share stories that are less positive. In fact, it
could be argued that negative stories sell more newspapers or attract more clicks than
any other . This puts an enormous amount of pressure not only on the individuals
concerned, but also on the people close to them . As a result, their relationships and
family life suffer. Clearly, the fortune that stems from fame comes at a substantial
personal cost .

In summary, although there are clear financial benefits to being famous, there are also
enormous personal challenges . In my view, the constant media attention is far too
intrusive, and the loss of privacy is much too high a price to pay for the financial
rewards .

All done !
Model 1

Fame and its impact on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people.
Because of this, stories about them help to sell thousands of newspapers and
magazines. In my view, this status has more challenges than benefits for the
people concerned.

There are clear benefits to being famous. The images presented in the media
show us celebrities enjoying an enviable lifestyle: they live in huge mansions,
drive expensive cars, and wear the latest in high fashion. Thus, fame clearly
brings great wealth. In addition, their frequent appearances in the media mean
that celebrities have an influence that extends beyond their professional skills.
This influence stems from the fact that young people want to be like them, and
so the famous can earn even more money by endorsing different products and
brands. Although simply being in the spotlight may be enough for some, the
main benefits of fame appear to be financial and material.

Nevertheless, this level of fame also has its problems. The ability to influence
others and the notion of fame itself are both dependent on appearing in the
media on a regular basis, which means that celebrities have very little privacy.
The same media that creates their fame is also very happy to share stories
that are less positive. In fact, it could be argued that negative stories sell more
newspapers or attract more clicks than any other. This puts an enormous
amount of pressure not only on the individuals concerned, but also on the
people close to them. As a result, their relationships and family life suffer.
Clearly, the fortune that stems from fame comes at substantial personal cost.

In summary, although there are clear financial benefits to being famous, there
are also enormous personal challenges. In my view, the constant media
attention is far too intrusive, and the loss of privacy is much too high a price to
pay for the financial rewards.

Show answers
Model 1

Fame and its impact on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people.
Because of this, stories about them help to sell thousands of newspapers and
magazines. In my view, this status has more challenges than benefits for the
people concerned.

There are clear benefits to being famous. The images presented in the media
show us celebrities enjoying an enviable lifestyle: they live in huge mansions,
drive expensive cars, and wear the latest in high fashion. Thus, fame clearly
brings great wealth. In addition, their frequent appearances in the media mean
that celebrities have an influence that extends beyond their professional skills.
This influence stems from the fact that young people want to be like them, and
so the famous can earn even more money by endorsing different products and
brands. Although simply being in the spotlight may be enough for some, the
main benefits of fame appear to be financial and material.

Nevertheless, this level of fame also has its problems. The ability to influence
others and the notion of fame itself are both dependent on appearing in the
media on a regular basis, which means that celebrities have very little privacy.
The same media that creates their fame is also very happy to share stories
that are less positive. In fact, it could be argued that negative stories sell more
newspapers or attract more clicks than any other. This puts an enormous
amount of pressure not only on the individuals concerned, but also on the
people close to them. As a result, their relationships and family life suffer.
Clearly, the fortune that stems from fame comes at substantial personal cost.

In summary, although there are clear financial benefits to being famous, there
are also enormous personal challenges. In my view, the constant media
attention is far too intrusive, and the loss of privacy is much too high a price to
pay for the financial rewards.

All done !
Model 1

Fame and its impact on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people.
Because of this, stories about them help to sell thousands of newspapers and
magazines. In my view, this status has more challenges than benefits for the
people concerned.

There are clear benefits to being famous. The images presented in the media
show us celebrities enjoying an enviable lifestyle: they live in huge mansions,
drive expensive cars, and wear the latest in high fashion. Thus, fame clearly
brings great wealth. In addition, their frequent appearances in the media mean
that celebrities have an influence that extends beyond their professional skills.
This influence stems from the fact that young people want to be like them, and
so the famous can earn even more money by endorsing different products and
brands. Although simply being in the spotlight may be enough for some, the
main benefits of fame appear to be financial and material.

Nevertheless, this level of fame also has its problems. The ability to influence
others and the notion of fame itself are both dependent on appearing in the
media on a regular basis, which means that celebrities have very little privacy.
The same media that creates their fame is also very happy to share stories
that are less positive. In fact, it could be argued that negative stories sell more
newspapers or attract more clicks than any other. This puts an enormous
amount of pressure not only on the individuals concerned, but also on the
people close to them. As a result, their relationships and family life suffer.
Clearly, the fortune that stems from fame comes at substantial personal cost.

In summary, although there are clear financial benefits to being famous, there
are also enormous personal challenges. In my view, the constant media
attention is far too intrusive, and the loss of privacy is much too high a price to
pay for the financial rewards.

Show answers
Model 1

Fame and its impact on the lifestyle of celebrities fascinates many people.
Because of this, stories about them help to sell thousands of newspapers and
magazines. In my view, this status has more challenges than benefits for the
people concerned.

There are clear benefits to being famous. The images presented in the media
show us celebrities enjoying an enviable lifestyle: they live in huge mansions,
drive expensive cars, and wear the latest in high fashion. Thus, fame clearly
brings great wealth. In addition, their frequent appearances in the media mean
that celebrities have an influence that extends beyond their professional skills.
This influence stems from the fact that young people want to be like them, and
so the famous can earn even more money by endorsing different products and
brands. Although simply being in the spotlight may be enough for some, the
main benefits of fame appear to be financial and material.

Nevertheless, this level of fame also has its problems. The ability to influence
others and the notion of fame itself are both dependent on appearing in the
media on a regular basis, which means that celebrities have very little privacy.
The same media that creates their fame is also very happy to share stories
that are less positive. In fact, it could be argued that negative stories sell more
newspapers or attract more clicks than any other. This puts an enormous
amount of pressure not only on the individuals concerned, but also on the
people close to them. As a result, their relationships and family life suffer.
Clearly, the fortune that stems from fame comes at substantial personal cost.

In summary, although there are clear financial benefits to being famous, there
are also enormous personal challenges. In my view, the constant media
attention is far too intrusive, and the loss of privacy is much too high a price to
pay for the financial rewards.

All done !
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 12 - Addressing Band 6 problems
tuankhoi0811@[Link]
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Lesson 11 Guided Test Practice 1
12.1 Addressing band 6 language problems
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Lesson 12 Addressing band 6 problems

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Lesson 19 Overview and Review

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 12.1 Addressing band 6 language problems

The following response to our previous test question shows common band 6.5 problems. We will
address each problem to create a band 8 essay, helping you address similar issues in your own writing.

Becoming a well-known person, like a popular movie icon or a sports personnel has benefits and
drawbacks. Fame can bring enormous success to a person and can change one’s life.

Undoubtedly, having fame, success and popularity will bring extremely rewarding benefits to a
person. Firstly, it can bring honor to the celebrity’s family. It is a fulfilling feeling to make your parents
and loved-ones proud of what you have become. Secondly, unlike an ordinary person who earns
normal range of salary becoming an iconic individual will reap the rewards financially. Having said
that, this type of profession, such as becoming a movie actor, singer or dancer will have the potential
of gaining huge earnings. It is a common notion nowadays, that becoming a celebrity is the easiest
way to earn a lot and the short-cut to success. Apart from that, being a sports icon, such as becoming
a famous basketball player or tennis enthusiast gives the people the opportunity to earn well. Michael
Jordan and Roger Federer are some of the athletes that I know who are successful and have greatly
established their careers in the field of basketball and tennis. A lot of people knows who Michael
Jordan is. He now has his clothing and shoe line because of his fame, while Roger Federer became
one of the iconic models promoting luxury brands such as Lacoste, Gucci and Chanel. Many people
want to gain popularity to have a bright and secure future. Famous celebrities and sports athletes are
becoming people’s role model nowadays.

However, becoming famous isn’t always that beneficial. There are numerous disadvantages that
these well-known people encounter. First, they cannot live a normal life. They cannot just simply go to
public places like for instance malls and bars because people will come after them to ask for a picture
or auto-graph. It’s difficult to enjoy going-out when public people admire you, unless, they make a
booking or reservation in a high-end place to avoid the crowd. Second, being a public figure means
that your life will be an open-book to the normal crowd. Gossip is rampant everywhere. It will be a
normal for people to talk about your life and having privacy is quite difficult. Also, one must be
prepared to encounter bashers, haters, and bullies. If an individual is famous it doesn’t mean that
person can please everybody. So, one must be prepared for all these types of dilemmas. Depression
is another issue that many acclaimed people encounter. A good example of this is the famous singer,
namely, Kurt Cobain who committed suicide in the 90’s because fame was too much for him to
handle. This is the main reason why many famous individuals feel unhappy and empty even if they
are successful and rich.

To sum up, whilst being famous brings benefits and drawbacks. I strongly believe that the benefits
outweighs the problems. It’s just a matter of handling a person’s fame in a well-balanced and
harmonious way.

Length
This essay is 495 words – almost double the amount currently required for writing task 2. People often
ask if overly long essays are penalised, but the answer is a little complex. The following list shows
common problems in such essays and how they can affect your score:

How writing overly long essays affects your score:

the same ideas are repeated (lowers Task response score)

some ideas are irrelevant or unnecessary (lowers Task response score)
the essay appears to be unplanned (lowers Coherence and cohesion and Task
response score)
lacks a clear argument or position (lowers Task response score)
too little time for checking and editing (increases the chance of language errors)

Language problems
I am often asked ‘How long will it take me to get to band 7?’ The answer to this question is different for
everyone and very much depends on how you arrived at your current level. Those with a good
knowledge of language, and who have simply been following bad advice about writing, can change
their score relatively quickly. Such candidates generally score bands 7 to 9 in every part of the test
apart from writing. For candidates who score band 6 in all sections, the road will be longer. With a
language test, you cannot take short cuts, if you have gaps in your language then you need to fill them
and this book will not be enough. I recommend you read the grammar and vocabulary chapters of my
free book if you are not sure how to do this

Lexical resource problems

Although this writer very occasionally ‘skilfully uses uncommon lexical items’ (Band 8) (e.g. make your
parents and loved-ones proud; clothing and shoe line; too much for him to handle’ ) there are far more
examples of band 6 problems. There are problems with:

word choice (enthusiast)

collocation (gaining huge earnings)
style (bashers, haters)
extra word/s (extremely rewarding benefits)
word formation (mainly the use of hyphens e.g. auto-graph)

However, the main problem is a very common one at band 6.5: the writer has approached the essay as
an opportunity to show as much vocabulary related to the topic as possible. The result lowers the
Lexical resource score because the vocabulary is not used with an awareness of style and collocation
‘ ’

(band 7); instead, it shows band 6 through the use of ‘less common vocabulary but with some
inaccuracy’ .

Repetition
The attempt to use as many synonyms as possible associated with fame has resulted in unnatural
language in this essay. When writing, although you need to avoid repeating the same idea too often
(Task response bands 6 and below), the same does not apply to vocabulary. If you are writing about the
topic of ‘fame’ then it is natural to repeat the key words related to this topic at some point in your essay.
Similarly, if the topic is ‘healthy food’ then you cannot avoid referring to ‘food’ several times without
producing confusing and unnatural language.
When it comes to Lexical resource, it is far more important to show that you can explain your ideas
clearly and precisely than to use as many synonyms as possible. Repetition only becomes a problem
when it shows that your vocabulary is very limited, and so you cannot refer back without repeating
exactly the same words. Or when you produce a list of synonyms where one is enough. Look at the
following example of this:
Undoubtedly, having fame, success and popularity will bring extremely rewarding benefits .

KEY IDEA : This is not a vocabulary test or an opportunity to show how much vocabulary you have
learned. Use the words you know as useful communication tools. Instead of trying to show off all of
the tools you have, show that you know how to use them by choosing the right tool for your
purpose (i.e. presenting a clear argument).

Practice

Below, I have highlighted 28 vocabulary problems in this essay. Decide what type of vocabulary
problem is being shown and tick the correct box on the worksheet below. What corrections would you
make?
Now complete the practice exercise below:

You can see the changes I made in the next version, where we look at the grammatical errors. As you
will see, although I have used several synonyms for ‘celebrities’, I have still repeated key words
whenever this helped me to make my meaning clear.

Grammatical range and accuracy

Ifwe see the vocabulary you know as the ingredients you have in your kitchen, then grammar can be
seen as both the kitchen tools and the cooking skills you need to be able to combine these words
together to produce a nutritious and delicious meal. As with vocabulary, you should not aim to show
every grammatical rule you have learned. Instead, focus on being accurate and using grammatical
structures to help make your position clear or to help make a point. Remember, you cannot ‘boost’ you
score by creating long complex sentences to show off an imaginary list of ‘high-level’ grammatical
structures.

KEY IDEA : Your examiner does not have a list of ‘high-level’ grammar points that they are looking
for in your essay. Such lists are often used as a syllabus when teaching language, but it is not at all
how language assessment works. Teaching and testing are very different.

Try to be aware of the grammar mistakes you often make so that you can check for these when you
have finished your essay. In the proofreading task from Lesson 11, you will have seen that I too make
grammatical mistakes when writing quickly – the editing process is used to fix problems like this, and
knowing your weak areas will help you do this more efficiently. In the next exercise, we will identify and
correct the grammatical problems in this essay. If you cannot see a problem, this may indicate a
mistake you make yourself, so pay particular attention to these points.

Practice

Below, I have corrected the vocabulary problems (the changes are shown in blue) and highlighted 28
grammatical problems in this essay. Decide what type of grammatical problem is being shown and tick
the correct box on the worksheet below. What corrections would you make?
Ifyou struggled with numbers 1, 5, 9 and 22, I recommend you reread lessons 3 and 7, where we
looked at hedging language. You can see the changes I made in the next version, where we look at
problems with Coherence and cohesion.
Look at the highlighted vocabulary problems in the essay above and then
decide which problem is shown. NB You can choose more than one category.
Click on 'Show answers' to see my comments.
Incorrect word Extra Word formation
Style (too
choice/collocation (unnecessary) (spelling, hyphen
informal/spoken)
problem word/s use etc.)

1) like a popular

2) movie icon

3) sports personnel

4) having fame,
success and popularity

5) will bring extremely

rewarding benefits to a
person

6) normal range of
salary

7) an iconic individual

8) gaining huge
earnings

9) earn a lot

10) short-cut to success

11) being a sports icon

12 tennis enthusiast

13) are becoming

14) people’s role model

15) that beneficial

16) just simply go

17) like for instance

18) will come after them

19) auto-graph

20) going-out
21) public people

22) high-end place

23) open-book

24) the normal crowd

25) bashers, haters,

and bullies

26) dilemmas

27) acclaimed people

28) harmonious way

Show answers
Look at the highlighted vocabulary problems in the essay above and then
decide which problem is shown. NB You can choose more than one category.
Click on 'Show answers' to see my comments.
Incorrect word Extra Word formation
Style (too
choice/collocation (unnecessary) (spelling, hyphen
informal/spoken)
problem word/s use etc.)

1) like a popular

2) movie icon

3) sports personnel

4) having fame,
success and popularity

5) will bring extremely

rewarding benefits to a
person

6) normal range of
salary

7) an iconic individual

8) gaining huge
earnings

9) earn a lot

10) short-cut to success

11) being a sports icon

12 tennis enthusiast

13) are becoming

14) people’s role model

15) that beneficial

16) just simply go

17) like for instance

18) will come after them

19) auto-graph

20) going-out

21) public people

22) high-end place

23) open-book

24) the normal crowd

25) bashers, haters,

and bullies

26) dilemmas

27) acclaimed people

28) harmonious way

Notes:
Incorrect word choice: an icon is a very famous symbol of something (e.g. the
McDonald's M sign would be described as iconic); personnel means 'staff'; a tennis
'enthusiast' is someone who likes tennis, not a professional player; a dilemma is a
situation where you have to make a difficult choice; acclaimed (like renowned) is used
with a person's profession (e.g. 'the acclaimed writer'); harmonious is a synonym for
'well-balanced' but does not fit here.

Collocation: always learn which words go together (e.g. earn money)

A hyphen is used to join two words together to form one new word - some of these
examples are two words (e.g. the phrasal verb 'going out'; some are one word already
e.g. autograph, shortcut)

All done !
Look at the highlighted grammar problems in the essay above and then decide which
problem is shown. NB You can choose more than one category. Click on 'Show answers'
to see my comments.
Incorrect Punctuation
Articles/singular/plural Extra Pronoun
Verb/subject tense/modal preposition Adjective/adverb (commas
nouns word/s use
verb/hedging etc)

1) will be
extremely
rewarding

2) person
who earns

3) normal
salary

4)
becoming
a celebrity

5) will reap

6) reap the
rewards
financially

7) this type
of
profession

8) a movie
actor,
singer or
dancer

9) will have

10)
potential of
earning

11) the
short cut

12) the
people

13) earn
well

14) have
greatly
established
their
careers

15) many
people
knows

16) he has
his clothing
and shoe
line

17) Roger
Federer
became

18) one of
the famous
models

19)
,unless,
20) they
make

21) the
crowd

22) will be
an open
book

23) will be

24) a
normal

25) having
privacy is
quite
difficult

26)
namely,
Kurt
Cobain

27) whilst
being
famous
brings
benefits
and
drawbacks.

28) the
benefits
outweighs
the
problems

29)
handling a
person’s
fame

Show answers
Look at the highlighted grammar problems in the essay above and then decide which
problem is shown. NB You can choose more than one category. Click on 'Show answers'
to see my comments.
Incorrect Punctuation
Articles/singular/plural Extra Pronoun
Verb/subject tense/modal preposition Adjective/adverb (commas
nouns word/s use
verb/hedging etc)

1) will be
extremely
rewarding

2) person
who earns

3) normal
salary

4)
becoming
a celebrity

5) will reap

6) reap the
rewards
financially

7) this type
of
profession

8) a movie
actor,
singer or
dancer

9) will have

10)
potential of
earning

11) the
short cut

12) the
people

13) earn
well

14) have
greatly
established
their
careers

15) many
people
knows

16) he has
his clothing
and shoe
line

17) Roger
Federer
became

18) one of
the famous
models
19)
,unless,

20) they
make

21) the
crowd

22) will be
an open
book

23) will be

24) a
normal

25) having
privacy is
quite
difficult

26)
namely,
Kurt
Cobain

27) whilst
being
famous
brings
benefits
and
drawbacks.

28) the
benefits
outweighs
the
problems

29)
handling a
person’s
fame

Notes on grammar corrections

Verbs, tenses, modal verbs and hedging problems:

With numbers 1, 5, 9 , 22, and 23, the problem is with the use of will (too firm a prediction is being
made and it is also as though this will happen to the writer)
17) the present perfect is needed
With the verb / subject problems, sometimes it is not clear who/what the subject of a verb is or the
subject does not match the object (number 7)
25) this could be seen as a word order problem - an empty subject pronoun is needed here (it is
difficult to...)

Adverb / adjective:
6 and 14) this should be an adjective (describing the rewards / careers) not an adverb describing the
verb (reap / established)
18) could also be corrected like this: ‘one of the most famous models’ – in my version, I chose the
singular: ‘a famous model’

Punctuation:
2) Pay attention to commas with relative clauses
(27) this sentence is not finished – we need a contrasting idea after ‘whilst’
All done !
 12.2 Addressing band 6 Coherence and cohesion problems
Although we have corrected all of the language errors, this is still a band 6.5 essay, highlighting again
the importance of Coherence and cohesion and Task response. Referencing and cohesion within
sentences is managed well in this essay. However, there are 8 problems related to Coherence and
cohesion that I have highlighted in our corrected essay below. On your worksheet, try to identify these
problems and think of ways to fix them. Think about the following:

Are the ideas organised logically?

How are the ideas connected to each other, or to previous
ideas?
Is the link between ideas made clear?
Does the writer use cohesive devices appropriately (band 7)?
Click through the images below to see my comments on each problem:
 12.3 Addressing band 6 Task response problems
Where possible, I have addressed the Coherence and cohesion problems and highlighted 11 Task
response problems. Task response is one of the main reasons that this essay is not band 7; in fact,
there are some elements of band 5 here (e.g. irrelevant detail). On your worksheet, try to identify these
problems and think of ways to fix them. Think about the following:

Is there a clear point being made?

Is this repetitive?
Is this relevant to the question? Why is the writer telling us
this?
Is the main idea or conclusion clear?
Is there supporting evidence?
Is the tone appropriate?
Does this prove that ‘the benefits outweigh the problems?’
Is it better to delete this?
Click through the images below to see my comments on each problem:

Below, you can see the changes I made to turn this into a band 8 essay. First, be sure to read the
language note below about the use of ‘one’ as a personal pronoun – a word I would never naturally use
when I write or speak as it sounds extremely formal to me.
 Language note
Although ‘one’ can be used as a personal pronoun to refer to ‘people in general’ you need to
be aware that this includes you yourself. In this essay, the writer uses it incorrectly to refer to
a specific group of people (celebrities) which the writer is not part of, so they is more
‘ ’

accurate and appropriate here. You should also be aware that ‘one’ often sounds too
formal . I would never naturally use it myself.
People often use ‘one’ to try to avoid writing ‘he or she’ when referring to an anonymous
third person. In this case, they is also much more natural (e.g. If somebody is arrested for
‘ ’ '

a crime they did not commit, he/she they should be given a chance to prove his/her their
innocence .' )

Here is the essay after all of the main issues have been addressed. The changes I made to improve
Task response are in blue. The answer is still quite long at 356 words, but my aim was to show you how
to improve the argument in this essay, so I have stayed as close to the original as possible. The result
is now closer to band 8 rather than band 9.

Fame can bring enormous success to a person and can change their life. Nevertheless, becoming a
well-known person, such as a popular movie star or a sports personality has drawbacks as well as
benefits.

Undoubtedly, having fame and success can be extremely rewarding. Firstly, it can bring honor to the
celebrity’s family. It is a fulfilling feeling to make your parents and loved-ones proud of what you have
become. Secondly, unlike an ordinary person, who earns a normal salary, celebrities can reap the
financial rewards of their fame. Famous movie actors, singers, or dancers, have the potential to
earn huge amounts of money. Sports stars, such as Michael Jordan and Roger Federer, are
also extremely well paid. For example, Michael Jordan has his own clothing and shoe line
because of his fame, while Roger Federer has become a famous model, promoting luxury brands
such as Lacoste, Gucci, and Chanel. This type of wealth is possible because celebrities are often
seen as role models, and so people want to copy them and buy what they have.

However, becoming famous isn’t always beneficial. First, celebrities cannot live a normal life. They
cannot visit public places, such as malls and bars, because people will approach them to ask for a
picture or an autograph. To avoid the crowds , the famous are forced to visit the most expensive
restaurants and hotels. Thus, they have to spend huge amounts of their earnings . Second,
being a public figure means that your life becomes an open book to the public. Gossip is rampant,
and people enjoy talking about the lives of celebrities, so it is difficult for them to have any
privacy . Depression is another issue that many famous people encounter. A good example of this is
the singer Kurt Cobain, who committed suicide in the 90’s because fame was too much for him to
handle. Thus, famous people can feel unhappy and empty even if they are successful and rich.

To sum up, whilst being famous brings financial benefits, there are even more significant
drawbacks. Only those who manage to handle the problems associated with fame, and stay
well-balanced, can truly reap its rewards.

This answer can still be improved through the use of more natural language (at times it is repetitive and
wordy) and by presenting a more fully developed argument (e.g. cutting some ideas – there is too much
emphasis on specific sports stars, and I would cut the reference to depression and suicide.)

For contrast, here is a Band 9 version of this essay. Reading the band 8 and band 9 versions aloud will
help you to see the difference – notice the language used and the clearer argument being made.

Fame undoubtedly changes a person’s life. Nevertheless, such changes are not always for the better;
in fact, for all professions, from movie stars to sports personalities, becoming a celebrity has
challenges as well as benefits.

Undoubtedly, fame can be extremely rewarding. Firstly, there is the sense of personal fulfillment that
must come from making your family proud of what you have achieved. Secondly, celebrities can reap
enormous financial rewards from their fame. On top of their fees, the famous have the potential to
earn huge amounts of money from promoting luxury brands. This type of wealth is possible because
celebrities are often seen as role models, and so people want to copy them and buy what they have .
Therefore, being a focus for the world’s attention can be extremely lucrative.

However, achieving this status is not without its problems. First, celebrities can no longer live a
normal life. If they visit public places, such as malls and bars, people will crowd around them
demanding a picture or an autograph. To avoid this, the famous are forced to live in gated
communities, visit the most expensive restaurants and hotels, and hire personal body guards for
themselves and their families. Second, being a public figure means that your life is like an open book.
The public love to gossip about the lives of celebrities, so it is almost impossible for them to have any
privacy. Thus, the famous alternate between experiencing isolation and extremely invasive attention.

To sum up, while it is true that fame brings huge financial benefits, there are even more significant
drawbacks. In my view, only those who successfully manage the problems associated with fame can
truly be said to reap its rewards. (284 words)
 Extra practice
Make a list of any language you would like to learn from the exercises in this lesson. Write a new
version of your essay using as many of these words and phrases as possible. When you are
happy with your new essay, photocopy it and use White out or correction fluid to cover the new
words and phrases. After a week or so, go back and try to fill in the blanks.

Go back over any of your previous essays that are longer than 300 words. Read your essay aloud
– can you see any of the problems mentioned at the start of this lesson?
If you struggled to identify any of the grammatical problems in this essay, it may be a sign that you

make the same mistakes in your writing. Look carefully at the corrected version and make a note
of any language points you need to study.

The writer of this essay had tried to use as many synonyms connected to the topic of fame as
possible, which lowers their score instead of boosting it. Look back through your previous essays
to see if you also try to do this. Choose 2 or 3 of the most natural alternatives (i.e. the more
common ones) and replace any words you are less sure about. For example, compare the words
and phrases used by this writer to the more natural ones I used in my essay: a celebrity,
celebrities, the famous, a public figure, famous people.

When you have finished, look back through some of your previous essays to see if you can
identify any of the same Task response or Coherence and cohesion problems from this lesson.
Can you fix any of these problems now?
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 13 - GUIDED TEST PRACTICE 2
tuankhoi0811@[Link]
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Table of Contents General Training Task B
11.2 Thinking and Planning Use styling

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Lesson 12 Addressing band 6 problems
13.1 Thinking and planning
12.1 Addressing band 6 language problems Auto-adjust line
13.2 Paragraphing skills: Reviewing PEEL height
12.2 Addressing band 6 Coherence and cohesion
13.3 Writing and Checking
12.3 Addressing band 6 Task response problems
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Lesson 13 Guided Test Practice 1
Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS
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Lesson 19 Overview and Review

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 13.1 Thinking and planning

To vary your practice a little, and to help review the PEEL structure, this lesson will take a slightly
different approach to producing our next model answer. Nevertheless, we will still follow the T.P.W.C
steps.
Step 1 – Think
This test question is from Cambridge IELTS 9 , page 130. The question says:

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives.
Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Comments on the task

This question presents two opposing sides of an argument: an argument, and its
counterargument. You must discuss each of these and also give your own opinion. As always, you
will need to make your own position clear throughout. This means that you will decide on your
position, discuss both sides of the argument (making your own position clear), and then present
your own opinion. This final point is often left out of essays like this, so write Give my own opinion
‘ ’

in the conclusion section of the planner to remind you.

I generally include a thesis statement in the introduction of essays like this one, and I find that my

answers tend to be a little longer, because of the need to discuss 2 arguments and give my own
opinion. Even so, aim to write no more than 350 words if possible.
Remember, you are not being asked to discuss the people mentioned in the question, or why they
believe these things; your focus should only be on the arguments that these two views represent.

Remember, turning the statement into a question can help you to identify the issue you need to
discuss. With this question, many people discuss ‘happiness in teenagers’ and ‘happiness in
adults,’ but this misses a key point in the question. If we change these two views into a question, it

would be: Are people happiest when they are teenagers or when they are adults and have extra
responsibilities? So, our discussion must also take into account the ‘greater responsibilities’ that
adults have.

When you need to discuss two separate arguments, it helps to divide each column up into ‘pros’
and ‘cons’. Thus, we will brainstorm ‘the pros and cons of being a teenager’, and ‘the pros and
cons of adult life, considering its greater responsibilities’.

Step 2 – Plan
Print off a copy of the planner and write a plan for this question. Aim to spend about 10 minutes doing
this, but don’t worry too much if you take a little longer.
Ifyou have a ‘test buddy’, make notes and then take turns presenting and explaining your ideas to each
other. To check that you understand your partner’s argument, summarise it and repeat it back to them,
saying So, you think that…., is that right ?’ This type of echoing is also a very effective way to train
‘

yourself to listen well.

Points to remember

Identify useful themes and use these as headings. If you get stuck for ideas, use key words in the
question to create these, and remember the recurring themes when writing about life:
accommodation, money, work, free time, socialising .

Asking questions like, Why ?’ How ?’ Or How do you know this ? will help you to gather supporting
‘ ‘ ‘

evidence.
Asking further questions about your evidence will help you reach a conclusion and form your main
ideas. For example:
What does this show?
What effect does this have?
How does that make teenagers / adults feel?
To help guide your thinking, use the ideas on one side of your argument to gather ideas for the
opposite side. For example, if you have written notes about ‘money’ in your teenager column, what
corresponding idea could you write down in the ‘adults’ column?
When you have enough ideas for your argument, group ideas together logically. Try to think of
useful umbrella terms you can use to paraphrase these ideas in your introduction, conclusion and
at the beginning and end of your paragraphs.

When you have finished your plan, reflect on your planning skills by answering these questions:

Body paragraphs:

Do you have enough ideas on each side of the argument to present a balanced essay?
Are your ideas logically organised?
Can you identify your main points or conclusions?
Do you have enough supporting evidence for your conclusions?
Have you deleted any repetitive, irrelevant, or unsupported ideas?
Are there any ideas you can concede and refute to make your position clear throughout and
strengthen your overall argument?
Look at the notes you have made for the first and last sentence of each paragraph. Will these
help the examiner to identify ‘a clear central topic’? Do they accurately reflect the main ideas
within each paragraph?
Will your final sentence show the examiner how your paragraph is relevant to the question?
Introduction and conclusion:

Can you introduce the general topic and the main issue?
Does your argument fully answer the question?
Are you clear about your overall position?
Will your body paragraphs make this position clear throughout?

Step 3 – Write
When you are happy with your plan, and have added symbols showing how you will connect your
ideas, write the body paragraphs for your essay (don’t write the introduction and conclusion yet). Try to
spend less than 10 minutes on each paragraph if you can. We will return to these in lesson 13.3, once
we have reviewed the PEEL structure.
 13.2 Paragraphing skills - reviewing PEEL
At the start of the Test practice section, I made the point that we can generally understand a theory
before we are able to consistently apply it in practice. I often see proof of this in my test writing work.
When I am working on a test that is new to me, and trying to apply unfamiliar guidelines, the feedback
on my early attempts often highlights mistakes that I have tried very hard not to make, and which seem
obvious once they are pointed out. Similarly, people will send me practice essays telling me they have
followed the PEEL format (even labelling their sentences, This is my topic sentence, this is my
‘

explanation ,’ etc.) but the sentences do not perform the function the writer was aiming for. This
highlights the benefit of working with a partner if you can, because it is very difficult to see your own
writing as the reader will see it.

If it managed well, the PEEL structure helps create a logically organised paragraph with a clear
is
central topic, and main ideas that are extended, supported, and relevant to the question. These are all
features of bands 7 to 9. Each sentence should act as a building block within your paragraph, and will:

make a P oint
E xplain or E xpand on that point (e.g. by adding more; showing contrast; showing the effect etc.)
give an E xample to support the point
L ink it back to the question.

Nevertheless, the sentences must actually perform these functions in order to form an effective
paragraph. If they do not, the PEEL structure will not help to improve your score. The following
problems show why.
PEEL Problems (1)
This paragraph is from an essay discussing whether there are more advantages or more disadvantages
to living in an apartment compared to living in a house. The first sentence (often called the topic
sentence) should present the central topic of the paragraph. Read the paragraph and decide whether
the first sentence achieves this purpose. What other problems can you identify?

As for the advantages of living in an apartment, I will list them in sequence below. Firstly, being
smaller than houses, apartments tend to be much easier to keep clean and renovate. In fact, the
smaller the house is, the easier its restoration is. This is particularly helpful if you are busy with work
and other chores and thus not interested in maintenance. Secondly, house prices, as a general rule,
increase with their size. The fact is that nearly all apartments are smaller than houses. In addition,
taxes are set in accordance with the size of a building. To put it another way, the smaller the area of a
house is, the less tax you pay, and thus apartments generally cost people far less than houses.

Points to notice:

In the first sentence, this writer is commenting on the writing process. As we saw in lesson 11.3,
you should avoid doing this – don’t say what you are going to do, just do it.
A better first sentence would be: There are several advantages to living in an apartment . However,
 although this now looks like a topic sentence, we cannot say that it performs this function, because
it does not reflect the central topic of the paragraph: the sentences following this jump between

discussing both apartments and houses.

This reveals a second problem: organisation. This is an essay discussing the advantages and
disadvantages of A) living in an apartment, and B) living in a house. The writer does not ‘logically
organise information’, because some of the advantages of houses are discussed within the
paragraph that claims to be about the advantages of apartments.

Using the PEEL structure cannot make up for a lack of thinking and planning. Although this
paragraph does attempt to make a Point and then Explain and Expand on it, this point is a rather
simple one, and can be summed up in one sentence: Apartments are smaller than houses and so
they are cheaper and easier to clean . There is no need to explain this idea in detail, which is what
the writer has attempted to do here. The result is repetition of the same main idea – size is
mentioned 6 times in this paragraph and is a recurring theme.

We cannot fix this paragraph because more thinking and planning is needed, and this should have
been done before writing. It would have been better to discuss the ‘pros’ and then the ‘cons’ of
living in an apartment, in this way, the writer could argue that small accommodation is not always a
benefit and this may have helped him to think of more themes in addition to cost and size.

With better planning and thinking Instead of this:

the writer could have developed
ideas like this:
Side A: Advantages and Side A: Advantages of living in
disadvantages of living in an an apartment
apartment
Pros Pros

Size: small = easy to clean Size: small = easy to clean

Cheaper to buy and to renovate Cheaper to buy and to
Location: they tend to be in city renovate
centres = useful for work

Cons

Size – easy to clean BUT no

garden
Location – good for work BUT
bad for families
Little space for families with
children
PEEL Problems (2)
It important to remember that the main purpose of each paragraph is to present one argument that
is
will form part of a bigger argument (your essay). To achieve this, your reasoning must be clear and
logical. The following paragraph is from an essay in response to a question in The Official Cambridge
Guide to IELTS about whether it is better to work for one organisation all of your life or to work for
different organisations. Read the paragraph and decide whether the conclusions are clear, in particular,
the conclusion that, This might result in laziness and irresponsibility .’
‘

It an undeniable fact that if people frequently change their workplaces it will have a huge negative
is
impact on their professional prospects. It usually takes a longer time than expected to adjust to new
working environment and each time an employee has to set new goals and start from the very
beginning. Stress in such cases is usually unavoidable and mistakes are common. This might result
in laziness and irresponsibility, the traits that are always unwelcomed by employers. The worst thing
about this is when a person wanting to work for many companies loses his chances of being
recruited. One of my friend told me about the story of a man who went to UAE to work but as he
changed his place of work too much started being rejected in new places and as a result, he had to
come back altogether.

To help focus on the main problems in this paragraph, as well as the PEEL structure, I have broken it

up into separate elements and made comments on them:

In the next exercise, you will practise fixing these PEEL problems.

Practice
Read through my suggestions for fixing these problems, then try to make the suggested changes on
the worksheet below.
Step 4 – Check
To apply all of these ideas to your own writing, look back at the body paragraphs you wrote at the end
of 13.1. Look at each sentence and decide what function it has. For example, does it:
Make a P oint that presents the clear central topic of your paragraph?
 E xplain an idea?
E xpand on an idea?
Give an E xample to support an idea?
L ink the paragraph back to the question?

Make any necessary changes to your body paragraphs, or plan your argument again and then rewrite
your paragraphs. If possible, ask a study partner to check it for you. Ask them to identify the function of
each sentence using the questions above. Complete your essay by writing your introduction and
conclusion.

The exercises in 13.3 will help you focus on language. Once you have completed them, review your
essay again.

KEY IDEA : You will need to practise using the PEEL structure often before you can consistently
produce clear, effective paragraphs. When practising, try to get feedback from someone else – you
will both benefit because giving feedback is a good way to review complex ideas like this. Check
that your sentences do what you want them to do, and that your ideas are relevant, clear, logical,
and well supported.
Use the ideas in the table above to address the PEEL problems in
this paragraph. When you have finished, click on 'Show answers' to
see my version.

Show answers
Use the ideas in the table above to address the PEEL problems in
this paragraph. When you have finished, click on 'Show answers' to
see my version.
Ifpeople frequently change their workplace this can have several negative
effects. When we change jobs, it usually takes a longer time than expected
to adjust to a new work environment, and each time this happens, an
employee has to set new goals and start from the very beginning. As a
result, stress is usually unavoidable and mistakes are common, which is
unlikely to be welcomed by employers. However, the worst thing about
changing jobs frequently is that it can reduce your chances of being
recruited again in the future. For example, a friend of mine went to the UAE
to work but, as he changed jobs so often, he started being rejected in new
places and, as a result, had to come back. This shows that constantly
changing jobs can have an impact on job prospects.

All done !
 13.3 Language building
Let’s look back at our essay question:

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people’s lives.
Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Below, you can see the plan I used for the body paragraphs in my essay. In many ways, an essay plan
is personal, so don’t worry if you can’t follow all of my ideas yet. It is more important for you to be able
to follow the plan of your own argument - the aim here is to show you how detailed your plan should be
if you want to achieve your purpose.

When writing, I do not use all of the ideas in my plan. Decide which ideas you would include, then try to
write one or two body paragraphs based on these. Make sure to use the PEEL structure. You can
compare your paragraphs to mine in the next exercise.
 Listening exercise
Listen to a recording of the body paragraphs in my essay. As you listen, note down any language or
expressions that are different to your version. Listen again and try to recreate my paragraph using the
notes you made to help.

Now that you have the body paragraphs, look at the complete plan for my essay and write an
appropriate introduction and conclusion. You can compare your version to mine in the next exercise.
Click on the button below to see my version and compare your introduction and conclusion to mine.

In terms of vocabulary, there are several challenging, but common, themes in this essay. To improve
your Lexical resource, look at the model answer again and make a note of the words and phrases
connected to the themes of time, feelings, and age.

KEY IDEA : When learning vocabulary, be sure to write down any words that go together, so that
you can show ‘an awareness of style and collocation’ (Band 7 Lexical resource).

Without looking back at your list, see how many blanks you can fill in in the exercise below. Repeat the
exercise after a few days to help you review the vocabulary.

Extra practice
Go back and check the language you used in the essay from this lesson. To practise the new
language you learned, rewrite some of your sentences using words and phrases from this lesson.
Be sure to show ‘an awareness of style and collocation (Band 7 Lexical resource) by using the
’

right words together.

My model essay contains 2 body paragraphs. However, you could decide to organise your essay
into 3 body paragraphs, as follows:

Happiness and the pros and cons of being a teenager

The responsibilities of being an adult
Happiness and the pros of being an adult
Or:

Happiness and the pros and cons of being a teenager

Happiness and the pros and cons of being an adult
My own opinion on which is the happiest time of life

To practise this, reorganise the ideas in your plan and write your essay with one of the suggestions
above. You may find this creates a longer essay, and may not be practical for you in the test, but it is
good practice in organising your ideas logically. Reorganise the ideas in my essay to do the same.
NB . There is no fixed rule about whether 4 or 5 paragraphs is best – the choice will always depend on
the way that you decide to organise your ideas, which must be logical, with a clear central topic in each
paragraph.
Model answer

Each stage of life has its ups and downs. Some feel that people are
generally happiest as teenagers, while others believe adulthood is a
happier time, even though it brings greater responsibilities.
Personally, I agree with the latter point of view.

Life from the teenage perspective can seem very happy. Teenagers
live with their parents, who meet all of their needs, and spend most of
their day at school, surrounded by friends. They also enjoy long
holidays and have plenty of opportunities to relax. In fact, groups of
teens enjoying themselves are a common sight in many places.
However, one of the reasons they are seen hanging around is that
they often have little money and few places to go. Furthermore, at
this age, our bodies and minds are still developing, so a lack of
maturity can easily get teenagers into trouble. There is also a great
deal of pressure academically, with important exams to pass.
Therefore, this time of life looks a lot happier on the outside than it is
in reality.

For adults, everyday life is a lot less carefree. Living independently

means we have to be able to afford accommodation and other
expenses. There are also responsibilities associated with work, which
often increase with our salary and workload. Working life also offers
only a few short holidays each year. Thus, opportunities to relax are
brief, so it is not surprising that adults might reminisce about their
childhood years. Nevertheless, adulthood is a much longer stage of
life, and with maturity comes the ability to deal with any challenges.
This is also a period when most adults build their own family, home,
and career. All of which brings a sense of personal satisfaction and
happiness that is very different to anything experienced in our
younger years.

In conclusion, happiness, like all emotions, is a temporary state.

Although it is tempting to associate it with being young and carefree,
in my view, happiness is a much more complex and deeper emotion
that is closer to the contentment more often achieved in adulthood.
Without looking back at your list, can you fill in the blanks in the
model essay below? Click on 'show answers' to check, and repeat
the exercise after a few days to help you review the vocabulary.

Each has its . Some feel that people are

generally happiest , while others believe is a

happier time, even though it brings greater responsibilities. Personally, I agree with the latter point of
view.

Life from the teenage perspective can seem very happy. Teenagers live with their parents, who
all of , and

day at school, surrounded by friends. They also and

to relax. In fact, groups of teens enjoying themselves are a common sight

in many places. However, one of the reasons they are seen hanging around is that they often
and few places to go. Furthermore, , our

are still developing, so can easily get

teenagers into trouble. There is also a great deal of pressure academically, with important exams to
pass. Therefore, this looks a lot happier on the outside than it is

For adults, is a lot less carefree. Living independently means we have to

accommodation and . There are also

responsibilities associated with work, which often increase with our .

also offers only a few short holidays each year. Thus,

are brief, so it is not surprising that adults might

 about their . Nevertheless,

is a much longer , and with

comes the ability to deal with any challenges. This is also

when most adults build their own family, home, and career. All of which

brings a personal and happiness that is

very different to anything experienced .

In conclusion, happiness, like , is a temporary state. Although it is tempting

to associate it with being , in my view, it is a much more more complex and

that is closer to the more often achieved in

adulthood.

Show answers
Without looking back at your list, can you fill in the blanks in the
model essay below? Click on 'show answers' to check, and repeat
the exercise after a few days to help you review the vocabulary.

Each has its . Some feel that people are

generally happiest , while others believe is a

happier time, even though it brings greater responsibilities. Personally, I agree with the latter point of
view.

Life from the teenage perspective can seem very happy. Teenagers live with their parents, who
all of , and

day at school, surrounded by friends. They also and

to relax. In fact, groups of teens enjoying themselves are a common sight

in many places. However, one of the reasons they are seen hanging around is that they often
and few places to go. Furthermore, , our

are still developing, so can easily get

teenagers into trouble. There is also a great deal of pressure academically, with important exams to
pass. Therefore, this looks a lot happier on the outside than it is

For adults, is a lot less carefree. Living independently means we have to

accommodation and . There are also

responsibilities associated with work, which often increase with our .

also offers only a few short holidays each year. Thus,

are brief, so it is not surprising that adults might

about their . Nevertheless,

is a much longer , and with

comes the ability to deal with any challenges. This is also

when most adults build their own family, home, and career. All of which

brings a personal and happiness that is

very different to anything experienced .

In conclusion, happiness, like , is a temporary state. Although it is tempting

to associate it with being , in my view, it is a much more more complex and

that is closer to the more often achieved in

adulthood.

The answer:

Each stage of life has its ups and downs . Some feel that people are
generally happiest as teenagers , while others believe adulthood is a happier
time, even though it brings greater responsibilities. Personally, I agree with
the latter point of view.

Life from the teenage perspective can seem very happy. Teenagers live with
their parents, who meet all of their needs , and spend most of their day at
school, surrounded by friends. They also enjoy long holidays and have
plenty of opportunities to relax. In fact, groups of teens enjoying themselves
are a common sight in many places. However, one of the reasons they are
seen hanging around is that they often have little money and few places to
go. Furthermore, at this age , our bodies and minds are still developing, so a
lack of maturity can easily get teenagers into trouble. There is also a great
deal of pressure academically, with important exams to pass. Therefore, this
time of life looks a lot happier on the outside than it is in reality .

For adults, everyday life is a lot less carefree. Living independently means
we have to be able to afford accommodation and other expenses . There are
also responsibilities associated with work, which often increase with our
salary and workload . Working life also offers only a few short holidays each
year. Thus, opportunities to relax are brief, so it is not surprising that adults
might reminisce about their childhood years . Nevertheless, adulthood is a
much longer stage of life , and with maturity comes the ability to deal with
any challenges. This is also a period when most adults build their own
family, home, and career. All of which brings a sense of personal satisfaction
and happiness that is very different to anything experienced in our younger
years .

In conclusion, happiness, like all emotions , is a temporary state. Although it

is tempting to associate it with being young and carefree , in my view, it is a
much more more complex and deeper emotion that is closer to the
contentment more often achieved in adulthood.
All done !
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 14 - GUIDED TEST PRACTICE 3
tuankhoi0811@[Link]
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Academic 1 & Review of introductions and conclusions
Table of Contents

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12.3 Addressing band 6 Task response problems

In this lesson, you will learn about:

Lesson 13 Guided Test Practice 1 Font size: 1em /

14.1
13.1 Thinking and planning Common Problems in Introductions
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14.2
13.2 Paragraphing skills Thinking
- reviewing PEEL and Planning & reviewing conclusionsheight
14.3
13.3 Language Building Developing Range and Accuracy
Lesson 14 Guided Test Practice 3 & Review of introductions
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conclusions

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Lesson 16 Guided Test Practice 4 AC Task 2: To What

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Lesson 19 Overview and Review

 14.1 Common Problems in Introductions
This lesson will review writing an introduction and conclusion, and help you to create a model answer
for Academic writing task 2, on page 31 of Cambridge IELTS 9 . Again, this practice is useful for both GT
and Academic candidates.
The question says:

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at
primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Comments on this task

This task presents an argument that Some experts believe …’. Your test question will sometimes
‘

include facts, or a reference to experts like this, to make the argument seem more valid, or to
support the argument being made. As we have seen in previous lessons, changing the statement
into a question can help identify the main issue to be discussed within the argument. Like this:

Is it better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than
secondary school?

Notice that doing this eliminates the reference to Some experts’ . Thus, you are not being asked,
‘

‘Is it true that some experts believe … ? Or Why do some experts believe…?’
’ ‘

Although you can refer to these people in your introduction, you do not need to discuss them in
your essay, or say why they hold these views, which I sometimes see people trying to do. Look at
the following examples:
Those who believe in increasing the number of sports centres cite the small numbers
of them as a significant factor.
Proponents of the first contention point out that in their teenage years, a person can
enjoy time with his friends. They also claim that happiness is …
On the other hand, those who opine that mature people live more happily in spite of
several obligations argue that a family gives more pleasure than anything else.

The text in red shows these writers are claiming to know far more about the views and beliefs of the
people mentioned in the question than we have been told. During the body of your essay, it is better
to ignore these anonymous sources and simply focus on the argument they represent.

Familiarity with the topic

Imade two attempts at this essay before I was happy with the results. My first attempt, written before I
had devised my planner, was over 400 words long, and played a significant part in convincing me of the
need for a structured planning approach.
Part of my problem was that I have personal experience of learning and teaching a foreign language at
primary school and high school. Being familiar with a topic isn’t always the benefit that some people
believe it to be. It can result in overly long paragraphs, with far more detail than is necessary. In fact,
my first-hand knowledge was a hindrance without the planner; I had too many ideas and so I got carried
away with my argument.

When this happens, it is easy to become distracted from the task. Instead of simply writing a discursive
essay in response to the question, you may find that you are trying to share as much of your knowledge
as you can. With the planner, my knowledge was of some benefit: I did not need to hesitate when
thinking up ideas for my argument, but I still had to think critically and cut any unnecessary ideas.

KEY IDEA : If you are given a question related to your own area of expertise, be careful not to get
carried away in your writing. Your aim is to meet the criteria for the test, not to show how much you
know on this subject. In practice, if you find yourself doing this, stop and start again.

Introducing the general topic

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at
primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Remember, the statements in the question represent an argument that you must discuss. You must
identify the main topic or context for your essay, the specific issue you will discuss, and think about who
or what you need to focus on. Look carefully at the essay question and make some quick notes about
this information.

After reading your introduction, the reader should not need to refer back to the question to fully
understand these key details. Will your notes help you to do this? Compare your notes to mine – did
you identify the same focus?

Identifying the focus

In some essays, introducing the focus is more important than in others; for example, if the focus is on a
specific group of people, it is more important to make this clear. With this essay, the focus is on children
and schools in general, so we are all affected in some way, and it is less important to specify this in
your first sentence. Nevertheless, you should not misrepresent the focus. You can see examples of this
in the practice section at the end.

Introducing the issue – paraphrasing the question

Having set the context and general topic, we now need to introduce the issue, which we can do by
paraphrasing the statement in the question. Remember, the two most common problems are: 1)
unnatural language (from ‘translating’ the words in the question into synonyms), and 2) misrepresenting
the issue in the question. To combat this, when paraphrasing the question, focus first on understanding
the overall meaning. Use the following steps to help.
1. Write down what you can remember of the question. Compare your version to the original – did
you forget any key details? Did you change the meaning? If your educational system encourages
rote learning, you may be a little too good at memorising whole sentences, and so your version
may be too close to the original. If so, the next steps will help.
2. Circle the key nouns and verbs in the question ( experts , children, begin, learn, foreign
language, primary school, secondary school ). Remember, we do not need to replace any or all of
these, only do this if you can think of a commonly used alternative that means the same. Make a
list of any common synonyms you can think of.

3. Next, try to think of any related words and add these to your list above. For example, this
question refers to children, schools, and learning , so we could also logically add teachers or
‘ ’

‘teach to provide a different way of giving the same information.

’

4. Look at the remaining parts of the statement (the words underlined in bold below):
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary
school rather than secondary school.
Can you think of another way to express these ideas?
5. Use a different grammatical structure. Some useful examples of this are: changing a verb to a
noun; changing from active to passive; changing the focus of a sentence e.g. by making the object
of the sentence into the subject; or by beginning with the final idea. Look at the grammatical
changes I needed to make just by reversing the ideas in this sentence and changing the verb ‘to
study’ into a noun:

It better to study overseas than in your home town .

is
Studying in your home town has fewer advantages than studying overseas.

Ifyour opening sentence contains some of the key words needed to explain the issue in the question,
using your referencing skills (pronouns or synonyms) to refer back will also help you to paraphrase and
avoid copying the sentences in the question. You can practise all of these ideas in the practice section
at the end.

Writing a thesis statement

As we saw in lesson 10, many people like to finish their introduction with a thesis* statement – a brief
statement that sums up your argument and position. I discuss the use of these sente nces in more detail
in The Key to IELTS Success. Here, I will simply restate that it is a personal preference if you wish to
include one in your introduction. You will see in my models that I only include one at times.

There are several common problems with the thesis statements I see in introductions. Firstly, these are
often written before (or without) any thorough planning being done. As a result, they often do not
accurately represent the overall argument and position in the essay.

A second common problem is presenting too much detail. Many thesis

Vocabulary note: Y our
statements like this are closer to a paragraph explaining the entire
thesis is your main idea,
argument in the essay, which makes the introduction too long and
your opinion, or your theory
creates repetition when the same argument is made again in the next
about the issue being
paragraphs or in the conclusion. Remember, a thesis statement should
discussed.
act as a brief overview statement, and should not contain details of
your argument.

In The Key to IELTS Success , I also discussed the ‘scope’ sentence, where people outline what their
essay will include. As we have seen, this effectively paraphrases the task. Such sentences are used in
much longer documents and help the reader to decide whether it will be useful for them to read this
text. Your examiner does not need to be persuaded to read your essay and hopes it will include what
you have been told to write about. Thus, sentences such as, I will discuss both views and then give my
‘

own opinion’, are unnecessary and inadvisable in a 250-word formal essay.

Practice
These 5 exercises will help you to practise the key aspects of writing an introduction we have covered
in this lesson . Scroll down so that you can complete all 5 tasks and make sure to click on 'Show
answers' to see all of my comments.
QUESTION 1
Identifying the focus

Look at these opening statements and select the options that apply.
NB you can choose more than one.
the focus and this introduces this introduces
the focus
general topic are details that are the issue not
here is not
accurately not mentioned in the general
accurate
represented the question topic

1) Recently, parents have

become more keen to
teach their offspring a
second language during
their childhood.

2) Language has a
significant importance in
our life, people depend on
it for every aspect of life.

3) Currently, many schools

already have provisions for
teaching foreign language
at secondary school level.

4) Learning languages is
an essential part of every
child’s education.

5) Whether to teach
children a foreign language
in secondary school or in
primary school is an often
debated topic.

6) Learning a foreign
language, such as English,
is very important in life.

7) The trend of learning a

foreign language is
increasing rapidly in the
modern world.

QUESTION 2

Practice with paraphrase

Below are 4 sentences (1-4). Complete the paraphrased versions of

these sentences (1B - 4B) using the words in brackets. Notice that, in
each case, the new sentence begins with the final idea in the original
sentence.
1) Although celebrities have problems, there are plenty of advantages to being famous.

(words to use: fame; bring)

1B) Despite the benefits that , celebrities still have their problems.

2) Although celebrities have problems, there are plenty of advantages to being famous.

(words to use: however; benefits; bring)

2B) Fame plenty of ,

celebrity also has its problems.

3) All primary school children should be taught a foreign language.

(words to use :compulsory; curriculum)

3B) Learning a foreign language should part of the

4) Children should learn a foreign language in primary school instead of high school.

(words to use: better; rather)

4B) It is children a foreign language in

primary school in high school.

QUESTION 3
Paraphrasing the issue in the question

A good opening sentence for our introduction is as follows:

'Being able to speak a second language is very useful.'

Complete this introduction by adding a sentence that paraphrases

the issue in this writing task. Use the synonyms you identified earlier
and / or some of the words below to help.

Words to use: instead, beneficial, best, start, study, helpful, earlier,

argue

Try to do this in several ways if you can. Use pronouns or synonyms

to avoid repeating words from the opening sentence.
Begin your sentence with: Some people....

QUESTION 4
Below are four extracts from introductions. Read each extract and
decide which of the options applies. (NB you can choose more than
one letter).
contains translates the
the issue raised in
information not question and
the question is
mentioned in the sounds
paraphrased well
question unnatural

1) It is believed by many that if children

started studying a language, other than
their native language, they would probably
become more proficient in it.

2) For decades, students have been

learning a foreign language at secondary
school. However, some people argue that
a foreign language should be introduced in
the primary school curriculum.

3) It is often considered that it is more

effective for students to start acquiring
knowledge of a foreign language during
initial school years rather than during the
secondary education years.

4) Currently, many schools already have

provisions for teaching foreign languages
at the secondary school level. However,
some experts emphasise the idea of
introducing a foreign language at the
primary level.

QUESTION 5
Thesis statements
The extracts below were intended as ‘thesis statements’ for our
essay question. Which of the following options apply? (NB you can
choose more than one letter).
does not gives a this is a an effective
correspond detailed scope thesis
this would
to the argument sentence statement
be better
argument instead of a and not a (gives a
elsewhere
made in the brief thesis brief
question summary statement summary)

1) It is agreed that the

benefits of this are over-
shadowed by the risks
because, although it might
help the school-leavers in
getting an international
education, it would impose a
greater burden on the
students.

2) Some may think that this

trend puts too much pressure
on children and may affect
their mother tongue learning.
Nevertheless, I believe that
the merits of this proposal
surpass any possible side
effects.

3) This essay will analyse the

advantages and
disadvantages that arise
when young learners are
instructed to learn a foreign
language in the initial stages
of learning rather than at
secondary school. Following
this analysis, a reasoned
conclusion will be shared.

4) Despite the many

advantages that may derive
from this recommendation, I
feel that learning a foreign
language at primary school is
predominantly
disadvantageous.

5) While I think there are

certain drawbacks to learning
a foreign language too early,
I believe that the advantages

of this outweigh the

disadvantages.

Show answers
QUESTION 1
Identifying the focus

Look at these opening statements and select the options that apply.
NB you can choose more than one.
the focus and this introduces this introduces
the focus
general topic are details that are the issue not
here is not
accurately not mentioned in the general
accurate
represented the question topic

1) Recently, parents have

become more keen to
teach their offspring a
second language during
their childhood.

2) Language has a
significant importance in
our life, people depend on
it for every aspect of life.

3) Currently, many schools

already have provisions for
teaching foreign language
at secondary school level.

4) Learning languages is
an essential part of every
child’s education.

5) Whether to teach
children a foreign language
in secondary school or in
primary school is an often
debated topic.

6) Learning a foreign
language, such as English,
is very important in life.

7) The trend of learning a

foreign language is
increasing rapidly in the
modern world.
 1) This changes the focus (parents have become more keen to teach) which
should be on schools or children (or the adults they become) and adds extra
details not mentioned in the question (parents have become more keen to
teach…)
2 This misrepresents the focus and general topic – this question is about
children learning a foreign language, not the importance of language in our
life.
3) This adds extra details not in the question (currently, many schools have
provisions for) It would be better as: Currently, many secondary schools
teach a foreign language (a general fact that is implied in the question).
4) This is a good introductory statement, although the word ‘essential’ may
be too strong (unless there is evidence later in the essay to support this
position).
5) This introduces the issue and not the general topic – also, it is not
accurate to state that this ‘is an often debated topic’.
6) This is a good introductory statement
7) This adds extra information not in the question (that this is a ‘trend’ that ‘is
increasing rapidly in the modern world’)

QUESTION 2

Practice with paraphrase

Below are 4 sentences (1-4). Complete the paraphrased versions of

these sentences (1B - 4B) using the words in brackets. Notice that, in
each case, the new sentence begins with the final idea in the original
sentence.
1) Although celebrities have problems, there are plenty of advantages to being famous.

(words to use: fame; bring)

1B) Despite the benefits that , celebrities still have their problems.

2) Although celebrities have problems, there are plenty of advantages to being famous.

(words to use: however; benefits; bring)

2B) Fame plenty of ,

celebrity also has its problems.

3) All primary school children should be taught a foreign language.

(words to use :compulsory; curriculum)

3B) Learning a foreign language should part of the

4) Children should learn a foreign language in primary school instead of high school.

(words to use: better; rather)

4B) It is children a foreign language in

primary school in high school.

The answer:

1) Although celebrities have problems, there are plenty of advantages to

being famous.

(words to use: fame; bring)

1B) Despite the benefits that fame brings , celebrities still have their
problems.

2) Although celebrities have problems, there are plenty of advantages to

being famous.

(words to use: however; benefits; bring)

2B) Fame brings plenty of benefits , however, being a celebrity also has its
problems.

3) All primary school children should be taught a foreign language.

(words to use :compulsory; curriculum)

3B) Learning a foreign language should be a compulsory part of the primary

school curriculum .

4) Children should learn a foreign language in primary school instead of high

school.

(words to use: better; rather)

4B) It is better for children to learn a foreign language in primary school

rather than in high school.
QUESTION 3
Paraphrasing the issue in the question

A good opening sentence for our introduction is as follows:

'Being able to speak a second language is very useful.'

Complete this introduction by adding a sentence that paraphrases

the issue in this writing task. Use the synonyms you identified earlier
and / or some of the words below to help.

Words to use: instead, beneficial, best, start, study, helpful, earlier,

argue

Try to do this in several ways if you can. Use pronouns or synonyms

to avoid repeating words from the opening sentence.

Begin your sentence with: Some people....

My suggestions:
1) Some people argue that it is more beneficial / helpful to start this type of
study at primary school instead of secondary school.
2) Some people believe that it is best to do this at primary school instead of
waiting until secondary school.
3) Some people believe that beginning this type of study earlier than
secondary school is beneficial to students.
4) Some people believe that being taught such a skill earlier than secondary
school is beneficial to students.

QUESTION 4
Below are four extracts from introductions. Read each extract and
decide which of the options applies. (NB you can choose more than
one letter).
contains translates the
the issue raised in
information not question and
the question is
mentioned in the sounds
paraphrased well
question unnatural

1) It is believed by many that if children

started studying a language, other than
their native language, they would probably
become more proficient in it.

2) For decades, students have been

learning a foreign language at secondary
school. However, some people argue that
a foreign language should be introduced in
the primary school curriculum.

3) It is often considered that it is more

effective for students to start acquiring
knowledge of a foreign language during
initial school years rather than during the
secondary education years.

4) Currently, many schools already have

provisions for teaching foreign languages
at the secondary school level. However,
some experts emphasise the idea of
introducing a foreign language at the
primary level.

1) This information is not mentioned in the question.

2) This is a good attempt at the paraphrase, however, it also contains some
extra information (For decades, students have been learning a foreign
language at secondary school). This would be better as: In many countries,
students learn a foreign language at secondary school. However, some
people argue that a foreign language should be introduced in the primary
school curriculum.)
3) This translates the question and produces unnatural language: (start
acquiring knowledge of ; during initial school years) and the question does
not tell us that ‘It is often considered’ (we are told some experts believe this)
4) This translates the question and produces unnatural language. ‘

emphasise the idea of’ and contains some information not in the question:
Currently, many schools already have provisions for teaching foreign
languages at the secondary school level – if this is true in the candidates
home then they need to explain this later in their essay and not use it to
introduce the issue here.
QUESTION 5
Thesis statements

The extracts below were intended as ‘thesis statements’ for our

essay question. Which of the following options apply? (NB you can
choose more than one letter).
does not gives a this is a an effective
correspond detailed scope thesis
this would
to the argument sentence statement
be better
argument instead of a and not a (gives a
elsewhere
made in the brief thesis brief
question summary statement summary)

1) It is agreed that the

benefits of this are over-
shadowed by the risks
because, although it might
help the school-leavers in
getting an international
education, it would impose a
greater burden on the
students.

2) Some may think that this

trend puts too much pressure
on children and may affect
their mother tongue learning.
Nevertheless, I believe that
the merits of this proposal
surpass any possible side
effects.

3) This essay will analyse the

advantages and
disadvantages that arise
when young learners are
instructed to learn a foreign
language in the initial stages
of learning rather than at
secondary school. Following
this analysis, a reasoned
conclusion will be shared.

4) Despite the many

advantages that may derive
from this recommendation, I
feel that learning a foreign
language at primary school is
predominantly
disadvantageous.

5) While I think there are

certain drawbacks to learning
a foreign language too early,
I believe that the advantages

of this outweigh the

disadvantages.
1) This is too detailed; this would be better in the conclusion.
2) This introduces a counterargument, which would be better in the Body
paragraphs. The second sentence does make the writer's thesis clear
3) Young learners are not ‘instructed to learn a foreign language’. If it is
rewritten the first sentence fits in the introduction: This essay will analyse
the advantages and disadvantages that arise when young learners are
taught a foreign language in primary school rather than at secondary school.
But the second sentence focuses on the essay writing process and should
be cut. Neither is a thesis statement.
4) This is a good thesis statement
5) This is a good thesis statement

All done !
 14.2 Thinking and planning & reviewing conclusions

Now that we have reviewed introductions, let’s start working on our essay.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at
primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Iwill use the T.P.W.C ( Think, Plan, Write, Check ) steps to guide you through this question. If you feel
confident enough, spend 10 minutes writing your plan for this essay before reading on. Use the planner
and the following checklist:

Planning - A quick checklist

Think about the question

Identify themes in the question and use these as headings
Brainstorm and Plan:

use your own knowledge and experience of learning a foreign language to get ideas
visualise or imagine the different situations – think about yourself, your friends or
family, your school etc.
ask further questions to develop these ideas
to develop your main ideas or conclusions, think about what your evidence shows or
proves
check for recurring themes and make sure they are relevant to the question
organise and connect your ideas
try to think of umbrella terms for groups of ideas

Step 1 – Think
Print off a copy of the planner and think about the question. Make notes about the question in the
introduction section. Think about themes and list as many possible. Remember, these may be
mentioned in the question, or they may be related themes you think of. On your planner, use these as
headings to help you generate ideas for your plan and to organise them.

Step 2 – Plan
Remember, a key part of the argument in this question is whether or not it is better to study a
‘ ’

language in primary school or high school. The following questions will help you to gather ideas:
 When did you first learn a foreign language? Did you find it easy or difficult?
What made it easy / difficult? What effect did this have on your language knowledge now?
Did you learn a language at primary school? Was it helpful? What problems did you have?
Did you study a foreign language at high school? Was it helpful? How? Why? Why not?
What effect did academic pressure and your school timetable have on your language
learning? Why?
Think about your language teachers – do you think they had an easy job? What made it
difficult?

Notice that these questions are quite similar to speaking test questions, so it can be helpful to work with
a partner and say your answers out loud. Many of your ideas are likely to be personal to you – they will
reflect your own experience or those of people you know. To write in an impersonal way, remember to
think about what these ideas show and try to form general statements. What ideas from your own
experience do you think are generally true for language learners everywhere? You can practice this in
the next exercise.

Practice
Look at the following examples from my own personal experience. On the worksheet below, turn my
personal ideas into general statements.
If there are ideas in your plan that are specific to your experience, or your town or school, and you
cannot make a general statement about them, write the word context next to it. This will remind you
‘ ’

that, when you are writing, you will need to make your perspective clear by explaining the context for
your comments (you can review this idea of perspective in Lessons 5 and 7).

Step 3 - Write
When you are happy with your plan, write the introduction and body paragraphs of your essay.
Complete the next exercises before writing your conclusion.

Writing a conclusion
At the conclusion stage, all that remains is to:

sum up your main ideas

make your position clear, and
ensure you have answered the question.

To do this effectively, you need to write at least two sentences. Umbrella terms can be useful here to
help you avoid repeating the same words too often. Looking at the first and final sentences in each
paragraph can also help. The next exercise will help you identify some common problems in
conclusions.

Practice
Completing your essay
Now look back at the introduction and body paragraphs you have written for your essay and write your
conclusion. Make sure to summarise the main points in your argument, answer the question in the task,
and make your overall position very clear. When you have finished, move on to the next lesson, which
has listening exercises based on my model essay.
 Lesson 14.2 General statements

QUESTION 1

Can you complete the sentences to create general statements from

my personal ideas?
Personal: When I was in primary school, my teacher tried to teach us a few words in French.

General: Students at primary school often only in another language.

Personal:When I was a high school French teacher, some of the students would laugh at others if they
made a mistake, so they didn’t want to speak French.

General: High school students may not another language because they

may be afraid that their mistakes.

QUESTION 2
Can you identify the hedging language in my general statements?

CLEAR hedging language

1 ) Students at primary school often only learn a few words in another language .

2 ) High school students may not want to speak another language because they may be afraid that other
students will laugh at their mistakes .

Show answers
QUESTION 1

Can you complete the sentences to create general statements from

my personal ideas?
Personal: When I was in primary school, my teacher tried to teach us a few words in French.

General: Students at primary school often only in another language.

Personal:When I was a high school French teacher, some of the students would laugh at others if they
made a mistake, so they didn’t want to speak French.

General: High school students may not another language because they

may be afraid that their mistakes.

The answer:

Personal: When I was in primary school, my teacher tried to teach us a few

words in French.

General: Students at primary school often only learn a few words in another
language.

Personal:When I was a high school French teacher, some of the students

would laugh at others if they made a mistake, so they didn’t want to speak
French.

General: High school students may not want to speak / want to try to speak
another language because they may be afraid that other students will laugh
at / the other students will laugh at their mistakes.

QUESTION 2
Can you identify the hedging language in my general statements?

CLEAR hedging language

1 ) Students at primary school often only ✘ learn a few ✘ words in another language .
2 ) High school students may not want to ✘ speak another language because they may be ✘ afraid that
other students will laugh at their mistakes .

The answer:

1) Students at primary school often only learn a few words in another

language.

2) High school students may not want to speak another language because
they may be afraid that other students will laugh at their mistakes.

All done !
QUESTION 1
Look at the following extracts from conclusions to this essay. Which
do you think is most successful in answering the question, and
making the writer’s position clear? Select the box that most applies to
each conclusion.
introduces the
new writer's
a good too
information / position
conclusion long
a new is not
argument clear

1.) In a word, it is obvious that the benefits of

learning a foreign language early in life overcome
the drawbacks. With globalization and increased
communication among different countries, the world
has become smaller and smaller, and so it is our
duty to teach our children a foreign language to be
able to cope with this progress. Knowing a second
language has become inevitable and so it is better
and easier to start it from childhood.

2.)The advantages and disadvantages of this topic

are numerous. However, after analysing both sides,
it is felt that learning a foreign language at primary

level has more drawbacks than benefits. It is thus

recommended that, teachers weigh the pros and
cons before engaging their students in such type of
learning.

3.) In conclusion, while I agree that learning a

foreign language too early can harm kids to some
extent, I would say that beginning this study at
primary school is better than at secondary school.

QUESTION 2
To practise editing, can you find the language errors in the
conclusions? How would you fix these errors?
 CLEAR language error

1 . ) In a word , it is obvious that the benefits of learning a foreign language early in life overcome the
drawbacks . With globalization and increased communication among different countries , the world has
become smaller and smaller , and so it is our duty to teach our children a foreign language to be able to
cope with this progress . Knowing a second language has become inevitable and so it is better and
easier to start it from childhood .

2 . ) The advantages and disadvantages of this topic are numerous . However , after analysing both sides ,

it is felt that learning a foreign language at primary level has more drawbacks than benefits .

It is thus recommended that, teachers weigh the pros and cons before engaging their students in

such type of learning .

3 . ) In conclusion , while I agree that learning a foreign language too early can harm kids to some extent ,

I would say that beginning this study at primary school is better than at secondary school .

Show answers
QUESTION 1
Look at the following extracts from conclusions to this essay. Which
do you think is most successful in answering the question, and
making the writer’s position clear? Select the box that most applies to
each conclusion.
introduces the
new writer's
a good too
information / position
conclusion long
a new is not
argument clear

1.) In a word, it is obvious that the benefits of

learning a foreign language early in life overcome
the drawbacks. With globalization and increased
communication among different countries, the world
has become smaller and smaller, and so it is our
duty to teach our children a foreign language to be
able to cope with this progress. Knowing a second
language has become inevitable and so it is better
and easier to start it from childhood.

2.)The advantages and disadvantages of this topic

are numerous. However, after analysing both sides,
it is felt that learning a foreign language at primary

level has more drawbacks than benefits. It is thus

recommended that, teachers weigh the pros and
cons before engaging their students in such type of
learning.

3.) In conclusion, while I agree that learning a

foreign language too early can harm kids to some
extent, I would say that beginning this study at
primary school is better than at secondary school.

1)This is rather long and appears to introduce a new argument and new
information (the second sentence about globalization.) This can be difficult
to do well in a timed-essay because you need to explain a new point and it
may seem irrelevant to the question.
2)The use of the passive means that the writer’s position is not clear, and
the writer is giving advice to teachers, which is not relevant to this essay
(NB teachers do not make decisions like this).
3) Although it is short, this is generally a good conclusion. It would be better
to also sum up the main ideas in the essay.
QUESTION 2
To practise editing, can you find the language errors in the
conclusions? How would you fix these errors?

CLEAR language error

1 . ) In a word ✘ , it is obvious that the benefits of learning a foreign language early in life overcome ✘ the
drawbacks . With globalization and increased communication among different countries , the world has
become smaller and smaller , and so it is our duty to teach our children a foreign language to be able to
cope ✘ with this progress . Knowing ✘ a second language has become inevitable ✘ and so it is better
and easier to start it from childhood .

2 . ) The advantages and disadvantages of this topic ✘ are numerous . However , after analysing both
sides , it is felt that ✘ learning a foreign language at primary level has more drawbacks than benefits .

It is thus recommended that, ✘ teachers weigh the pros and cons before engaging their students in

such type of ✘ learning .

3 . ) In conclusion , while I agree that learning a foreign language too early can harm kids ✘ to some
extent , I would say that beginning this study at primary school is better than at secondary school .

The answer:

1.) In a word , it is obvious that the benefits of learning a foreign language

early in life overcome the drawbacks. With globalization and increased
communication among different countries, the world has become smaller
and smaller, and so it is our duty to teach our children a foreign language to
be able to cope with this progress. Knowing a second language has
become inevitable and so it is better and easier to start it from childhood.

2.)The advantages and disadvantages of this topic are numerous.

However, after analysing both sides, it is felt that learning a foreign
language at primary level has more drawbacks than benefits.
It is thus recommended that, teachers weigh the pros and cons before

engaging their students in such type of learning.

3.) In conclusion, while I agree that learning a foreign language too early
can harm kids to some extent, I would say that beginning this study at
primary school is better than at secondary school.
Language errors:

1) ‘In a word’ is used to sum something up in one word, which this does not
do (In conclusion (etc.) are better choices). ‘Overcome’ – we overcome a
difficulty not a drawback (make up for, or outweigh would be better). We
don't 'cope' with progress, we 'keep up with progress'. This sentence could
also be changed to: 'With globalization and increased communication
among different countries, the world has become smaller and smaller, and is
our duty to teach our children a foreign language so that they can cope.'
'Knowing', should be 'learning' and ‘inevitable’ should be ‘essential’.

2) I often see the word ‘topic’ used inaccurately like this. One common
example is ‘This is a difficult topic.’ You are not discussing a topic, you are
discussing an issue, claim, or argument. Don’t use the passive when giving
your own opinion. This should say ‘I feel that…’ // I would recommend etc.)

The final sentence has a common comma problem following ‘that’ – only
use a comma after ‘that’ if you are interrupting the main clause in your
sentence to add another clause (e.g.: I would therefore recommend that, to
protect the children, teachers need to weigh up the pros and cons before…)

Instead of 'such type of' it should say 'this type of'

3) Kids is too informal - this should say children.

All done !
 14.3 Developing range and accuracy
The following listening exercises are based on my completed essay and will help you to focus on the
separate criteria used to assess your answer. Before you listen, you may find it helpful to look at my
complete plan (below). Notice how many ideas I had to delete – these would have made my essay too
long to complete well within the time limit. Again, this is due to the fact that the topic was very familiar to
me – be ready to do the same if you are answering a question based on a topic that you have expert
knowledge of.
 Listening exercise
Listen to the recording of my complete essay, then complete the listening exercises.

Now click on the button to complete the listening exercises, which focus on the four different parts of
the essay and the four different criteria used to assess your writing.
 Extra practice
Look back over the introductions in some of your previous essays. Try to recreate the test question
from the information in your introduction. This will show you how closely your introduction reflects the
task. How did you finish your introduction? Is your introduction too long? Too short?
1. If you notice any problems, rewrite the introductions and make sure to include:

a general statement to introduce the topic or context of the essay

a statement that summarises the main issue to be discussed
a brief thesis statement that summarises your overall position (if preferred)

2. Look back at the conclusions of some previous essays and check whether they are effective in:

summarising the main ideas in your argument

answering the question
making your overall position clear

3. Are your conclusions too long or too short? Did you include extra themes or ideas that are not
discussed or explained in your essay? Rewrite any conclusions that are problematic.
4. Look back over any previous essays based on a topic that is very familiar to you and use the
following questions to think critically about your response:

Is your answer longer than the other essays that you usually produce?
Did you use your essay to show how much you know, or did you limit yourself to answering
the question?
Does your answer contain technical details related to your field or profession?

Ifnecessary, plan and write a new answer using the planner – aim to write a shorter, less detailed
answer.
 Lesson 14 model answer

Listen to the recording of my model answer before completing the

exercise. Click on 'Show answers' to read it at the same time.

00:00 02:43

Show answers
 Lesson 14 model answer

Listen to the recording of my model answer before completing the

exercise. Click on 'Show answers' to read it at the same time.

00:00 02:43

Show answers
Listen to the recording of my model answer before completing the
exercise. Click on 'Show answers' to read it at the same time.

00:00 02:43

The ability to speak a second language is a useful life skill. However, there is
some debate over the best age to learn a new language, with some experts
believing that this should happen at primary school. In my view, there is little
benefit in starting so young.

There are some advantages to learning a foreign language early in life. The
brains of young children are often compared to sponges because of their
ability to soak up knowledge. Consequently, they can learn languages far
more easily than adults. They also lack the self-consciousness that can
interfere with language learning at high school, when students can be
reluctant to make pronunciation mistakes in front of their peers. In contrast,
primary school students are happier to take risks and, as a result, can have
fun with their learning. As mastering a language takes a long time, it is easy to
see why some people recommend starting as young as possible.

Nevertheless, there are several challenges to introducing a second language

at such a young age. Firstly, unlike secondary school, primary school students
generally have one teacher rather than several specialist ones. This means
the staff may not have the necessary skills to teach a foreign language.
Secondly, the primary years are a crucial stage in a child’s education; they
must learn the basics of literacy and numeracy to succeed later on. Thus,
teachers do not have the time to teach more than a few basic words and
phrases in another language. Furthermore, by secondary school, students will
have a good knowledge of their mother tongue, which helps considerably in
learning another language. In fact, adding a foreign language too soon could
even interfere with first language acquisition. Therefore, the disadvantages of
such a scheme are significant.

In conclusion, there appear to be limited benefits to studying a foreign

language at a very young age, and the challenges far outweigh these. The
primary school years should be a stress-free time for children; adding more to
their curriculum is likely to alter that for the worse.

All done !
QUESTION 1

Introduction – Lexical resource and Grammatical range and accuracy

There are TWO words missing in each of the spaces below. Without
listening to the recording, fill in as many of the gaps in my introduction
as you can. Then listen and fill in any remaining gaps.

00:00 00:20

The speak language is a useful

. However, some debate over

age to learn a new language, with some experts believing that this

at . In my view,

little starting .

QUESTION 2

Body paragraph 1 – Coherence and cohesion

In this exercise, there are 1-4 words missing in each gap. Listen to the
recording and fill in the gaps as you listen. Think about how these
words and phrases connect the different ideas together.

00:00 00:50

to learning a foreign language early in life. The brains of young children are

often compared to sponges ability to soak up knowledge.

learn languages far more easily .

lack the self-consciousness interfere with

language learning at high school, can be reluctant to make pronunciation

mistakes in front of . , primary school students

are happier to take risks , can have fun with

learning. mastering a language takes a long time,

to see recommend starting

QUESTION 3

Body paragraph 2 – Task response

Listen to the recording and fill in the gaps as you listen. Think about
how these words and phrases help to develop my argument and make
my position on this issue clear.

00:00 01:08

Nevertheless, there are several challenges to introducing a second language

. Firstly, , primary school students

one teacher . This means the staff

teach a foreign language. Secondly, in a

child’s education; they the basics of literacy and numeracy

. Thus, teachers do not have the time to words

and phrases in another language. Furthermore, by , students

of their mother tongue, which language. In

fact, with first language acquisition. Therefore, the disadvantages

QUESTION 4

Conclusion – Lexical resource and Grammatical range and accuracy

There are TWO words missing in each of the spaces below. Without
listening to the recording, fill in as many of the gaps in my conclusion
as you can. Then listen and fill in any remaining gaps.
 00:00 00:22

In conclusion, there be limited studying a

foreign language very , and

these. school

years a stress-free children; adding

their curriculum is alter that for

Show answers
QUESTION 1

Introduction – Lexical resource and Grammatical range and accuracy

There are TWO words missing in each of the spaces below. Without
listening to the recording, fill in as many of the gaps in my introduction
as you can. Then listen and fill in any remaining gaps.

00:00 00:20

The speak language is a useful

. However, some debate over

age to learn a new language, with some experts believing that this

at . In my view,

little starting .

The answer:

The ability to speak a second language is a useful life skill . However, there is
some debate over the best age to learn a new language, with some experts
believing that this should happen at primary school . In my view, there is little
benefit in starting so young .

QUESTION 2

Body paragraph 1 – Coherence and cohesion

In this exercise, there are 1-4 words missing in each gap. Listen to the
recording and fill in the gaps as you listen. Think about how these
words and phrases connect the different ideas together.

00:00 00:50
 to learning a foreign language early in life. The brains of young children are

often compared to sponges ability to soak up knowledge.

learn languages far more easily .

lack the self-consciousness interfere with

language learning at high school, can be reluctant to make pronunciation

mistakes in front of . , primary school students

are happier to take risks , can have fun with

learning. mastering a language takes a long time,

to see recommend starting

The answer:

There are some advantages to learning a foreign language early in life. The
brains of young children are often compared to sponges because of their
ability to soak up knowledge. Consequently, they can learn languages far
more easily than adults . They also lack the self-consciousness that can
interfere with language learning at high school, when students can be
reluctant to make pronunciation mistakes in front of their peers . In contrast ,
primary school students are happier to take risks and, as a result , can have
fun with their learning. As mastering a language takes a long time, it is easy to
see why some people recommend starting as young as possible .

QUESTION 3

Body paragraph 2 – Task response

Listen to the recording and fill in the gaps as you listen. Think about
how these words and phrases help to develop my argument and make
my position on this issue clear.

00:00 01:08
Nevertheless, there are several challenges to introducing a second language
. Firstly, , primary school students

one teacher . This means the staff

teach a foreign language. Secondly, in a

child’s education; they the basics of literacy and numeracy

. Thus, teachers do not have the time to words

and phrases in another language. Furthermore, by , students

of their mother tongue, which language. In

fact, with first language acquisition. Therefore, the disadvantages

The answer:

Nevertheless, there are several challenges to introducing a second language

at such a young age . Firstly, unlike secondary school , primary school students
generally have one teacher rather than several specialist ones . This means
the staff may not have the necessary skills to teach a foreign language.
Secondly, the primary years are a crucial stage in a child’s education; they
must learn the basics of literacy and numeracy to succeed later on . Thus,
teachers do not have the time to teach more than a few basic words and
phrases in another language. Furthermore, by secondary school , students will
have a good knowledge of their mother tongue, which helps considerably in
learning another language. In fact, adding a foreign language too soon could
even interfere with first language acquisition. Therefore, the disadvantages of
such a scheme are significant .

QUESTION 4

Conclusion – Lexical resource and Grammatical range and accuracy

There are TWO words missing in each of the spaces below. Without
listening to the recording, fill in as many of the gaps in my conclusion
as you can. Then listen and fill in any remaining gaps.

00:00 00:22
In conclusion, there be limited studying a

foreign language very , and

these. school

years a stress-free children; adding

their curriculum is alter that for

The answer:

In conclusion, there appear to be limited benefits to studying a foreign

language at a very young age , and the challenges far outweigh these. The
primary school years should be a stress-free time for children; adding more to
their curriculum is likely to alter that for the worse .

All done !
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 15 - Addressing Band 6 Problems
tuankhoi0811@[Link]
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Table of Contents
Lesson 13 Guided Test Practice 1 Use styling

13.1 Thinking and planning

In this lesson, you will learn about: Font size: 1em /
13.2 Paragraphing skills - reviewing PEEL
15.1 Addressing language problems
13.3 Language Building Auto-adjust line
15.2 Addressing Coherence and cohesion problemsheight
Lesson 14 Guided Test Practice 3 & Review of introductions

15.3 A ddressing Task response problems

14.1 Common problems in introductions
Sync with server
14.2 Thinking and planning & reviewing conclusions

Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS

Toggle fullscreen view
14.3 Developing range and accuracy

Lesson 15 Addressing Band 6 Problems Page view

Lesson 16 Guided Test Practice 4 AC Task 2: To What

Scroll
Lesson 17 Guided Test Practice 5 AC Task 3: More

Lesson 18 Guided Test Practice 6, AC Task 4: More Page animation

Lesson 19 Overview and Review

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 15.1 Addressing language problems
Look at the following example of a band 6.5 essay based on the question from lesson 14. Read the
essay and try to identify any problems in Task response, Coherence and cohesion, Lexical resource,
and Grammatical range and accuracy. Remember, it is easier to spot problems in other people’s writing,
which is why it can be helpful to work with another student of a similar level. The more you practise with
this, the easier it will be to find these problems in your own essays.

Language has a significant importance in our life , people depend enormously on it in every aspect of
life. It is argued by researchers that , the early introduction of a second language in primary schools
might seem advantageous rather than in secondary ones. In this essay I will discuss this proposal
and the advantages and disadvantages that lies beneath it.

There are tangible benefits of learning a foreign language in primary school. Firstly, children have the
potential to acquire the language quicker and faster. Students who are at a young age would find it
easier to learn than those who are older. Namely, recent research revealed that the size of the brain
shrinks as we age. It is undeniable that age is an important factor in education. Secondly, the
introduction of a foreign language could be seen as an opportunity for every pupil to become more
rounded as individuals and learn about different cultures from a younger age. Take the example of
overseas students who tend to come and study in the United Kingdom, for many they will find it
advantageous to learn English as a second language, and the earlier they learnt it the better.

However, this might not be the case for every student. Some would find difficult to cope with studying
an extra language beside the other subjects in primary schools. This could be deemed as tough.
Thus, they might end up losing their concentration on more important subjects such as mathematics
and science. Another problem to be addressed it that a second language might not seem to be
appealing to everyone. Some would feel it is oppressive not to choose what they want to learn. In
some cases, learners would like to study different subjects that interest them rather than a new
language. Thus, this obligatory step to teach a language might have negative outcomes.

All things considered, although there are pros and cons this opinion in my view I completely disagree
about teaching a second language in primary educational settings, as it should not be compulsory for
everyone. It is important to be keep the students interested in learning. (335 words)

General comments
This essay is a good example of an answer where the language meets the criteria for band 7, but the
Task response and Coherence and cohesion problems reduce the score to below band 7. This is not a
vocabulary or grammar test, it is a writing test, so your Task response and Coherence and cohesion are
very important.
Grammatical range and accuracy
First, we’ll address the language problems, beginning with the grammar problems, which you can see
highlighted below. On your worksheet, try to fill in as much of the table as you can by making notes
about the grammar problems and suggesting changes. For example:

Problem Change to:

1 Use of the passive – active is better here Researchers argue

Use the hints below to help. Which errors do you think might be slips?

Hints:
1) passive use, 2) comma use, 3) word order, 4) verb/subject agreement, 5) modal verb (hedging
language – being too definite), 6) tense problem, 7) comparative, 8) extra (unnecessary) words,
9) tense, 10) needs an object, 11) plural / singular, 12) verb needed (likely a slip), 13) modal verb
missing & word order, 14) commas, 15) preposition, 16) extra verb (a slip?), 17) article
You can compare your answers to mine in the next exercise (my changes are in bold).

L exical resource
As we have seen, a common problem at band 6.5 is candidates trying to boost their score by using
‘high-level’ vocabulary, and often using two or three words when one is enough. The vast majority of
any text is made up of words in the A1 to B2 level, so using a lot of high-level words produces very
unnatural language. A further problem is that using words for effect, rather than because they help you
to explain your meaning, often results in language that is not precise. This can also have an impact on
your argument (you can review this idea in lessons 2.3 and 6.2).

You will not score band 7 for Lexical resource unless you show ‘an awareness of style and collocation’,
as well as showing ‘flexibility and precision’. I am often asked what the word ‘flexibility’ means here. To
me, it is about having a wide enough vocabulary to explain ideas clearly, even when you do not always
know exactly the right words to use. In other words, using the words that you do know in a way that will
fill in the gaps in your vocabulary (the words that you don’t yet know). I see the approach to vocabulary

by candidates at different levels like this:

To many band 6 candidates, ‘longer and more complex’ means ‘higher level’, and one of the most
difficult jobs for a teacher is trying to persuade people at this level to write in a simpler way, especially
when they have invested so much time and effort in learning ‘high-level’ words. This shows why your
approach to language is important – the simpler, band 7 version above is better than the band 6
attempt to showcase higher level words without an understanding of their style and meaning. It is better
because the meaning is clearer, and clear communication must be your main aim when writing.
 KEY IDEA : Write what you mean. Don’t try to boost your score by using high-level words – these
will often hide your real meaning and make your argument and ideas unclear.

To improve the lexical resource score of this essay, identify and correct the vocabulary problems
highlighted in the image below. Some of the problems are connected to collocation (words that naturally
go together), others may be due to the writer’s attempt to use ‘less common’ vocabulary, or several
variations of the same idea, again to show their vocabulary knowledge. If you cannot identify the
problem, think of a simpler word to replace the highlighted words.

Hints:
1) Choose one; 2) unnecessary; 3) simpler is better; 4) the meaning is not precise; 5) not true; 6)
collocation (see the language note); 7) choose one; 8) incorrect word; 9) the meaning is not
precise; 10) simpler is better & collocation; 11) informal; 12) collocation & the meaning is not
precise; 13) choose one; 14) the meaning is not precise (extreme adjective); 15) the meaning is
not precise; 16) the meaning is not precise & collocation; 17) incorrect word choice; 18) choose
one; 19) unnatural; simpler is better
Use the hints above to help you complete the table on your worksheet by identifying the problems and
suggesting an appropriate change if you can. For example:

Problem Change to

1 Extra unnecessary words. Significant Either it is a significant

‘ x’ ; Or: ‘ it

= important, this says: ‘language has s important’

i

an important importance’

Which problem affects the writer’s argument?

Language note
When studying vocabulary, make sure to learn any necessary prepositions. Look at all of the following
different ways of using benefit ':
'

Noun:

For (someone’s) benefit

For the benefit of someone
With the benefit of
Without the benefit of
The benefits for (someone) are
The benefits to (someone)
Be of benefit to (someone)
To (someone’s) benefit
There are benefits to do ing something (a general, possible or future sense – if you do this, this
is how you may benefit)
The benefits from (do in g) something are…(these are proven or known benefits) – I did it and I
have benefitted)

Verb:

(Someone) benefits from (something / do ing something)

(Someone) can / will / would benefit from (something / do ing something)
 15.2 Addressing Coherence and cohesion problems
Now look at the essay with the language problems corrected. Can you identify 6 Coherence and
cohesion problems? Think about how the ideas are connected, the use of cohesive devices, and the
PEEL structure.

Language is important in our life , people depend enormously on it in every aspect of life. It is argued
by researchers that the early introduction of a second language in primary schools rather than at
secondary school might be advantageous. In this essay I will discuss this proposal and the
advantages and disadvantages it could bring.

There are clear benefits to learning a foreign language in primary school. Firstly, children have the
potential to acquire the language quicker. Students who are at a young age generally find it easier to
learn than those who are older. Namely, recent research has revealed that the size of the brain
shrinks as we age. It is undeniable that age is an important factor in education. Secondly, the
introduction of a foreign language could be seen as an opportunity for every pupil to become more
rounded as individuals and learn about different cultures from a young age. Take the example of
overseas students who tend to come and study in the United Kingdom, many would find it
advantageous to learn English as a second language, and the earlier they learn it the better.

However, this might not be the case for every student. Some may find it difficult to cope with studying
an extra language as well as the other subjects that must be learned in primary school. This could be
tough for them. Thus, they might struggle to concentrate on more important subjects such as
mathematics and science. Another problem to be addressed is that a second language might not
appeal to everyone. Some might feel that not being able to choose what they want to learn is a little
unfair. In some cases, learners might like to study other subjects that interest them rather than a new
language. Thus, this obligation to learn a language might have negative outcomes.

All things considered, although there are pros and cons of this suggestion, I completely disagree with
teaching a second language in primary education as it should not to be compulsory for everyone. It is
important to keep students interested in learning.
Did you find the problems highlighted in the image and table below? Complete the table on your
worksheet with ideas for how to address these problems.

Problem Solution

1 The reference is not clear – this should refer Change to young

‘

back to ‘primary school’ rather than all ‘ children or these

’ ‘

children’ children’

2 Cohesive device not being used

appropriately.
‘Namely’ is used before naming a list of
things

3 Cohesive device not used appropriately –

show that this is a conclusion based on the
previous evidence.
4 Organisation problem here. This example
supports the idea of learning a language
early in life, so it should be earlier in this
paragraph. The paragraph is incomplete.

5 This sentence seems to be finishing a

previous point rather than introducing the
central topic of a new paragraph. The
reference is also unclear – what does this ‘ ’

refer back to?

6 Cohesive device not used effectively. This

tells us the effect or result of something - the
link needs to be clear
 15.3 Addressing Task response problems

Addressing Task response issues is more difficult. To do this, we need to think about the argument
being made in response to the question:

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at
primary school rather than secondary school.
Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Try to identify the problems highlighted below then complete the table with possible solutions.

KEY IDEA : If the writer had spent more time planning their argument before starting to write, these
problems would have been avoided.
Task response problems

Problem Possible solution

1 ‘Language’ is not the focus here so this Replace the sentence with
is not relevant (people do not depend one that introduces the
enormously on a second language, nor general topic and focus
does it affect every aspect of life.)

2 This is too personal

3 This repeats the previous idea

4 This is not an example that supports the

previous point, it is a reason why some
people might choose to learn a foreign
language.

5 The point being made is not clear, and

the paragraph feels unfinished. How is
this paragraph linked to the question?

6 This is a repetition of the previous point

7 Is this a logical conclusion? Does

learning a foreign language cause this to
happen?

8 The tone is not quite right here – the

essay did not ask us to solve a problem.

9 The point being made is not clear

10+ These sentences make the same point:

11 that primary school children might want
to choose their own subjects –This does
not seem to be a valid argument (
primary school students cannot choose
subjects)

12 This does not reflect the question –

there is no obligation to study
mentioned

13 This does not reflect the ideas within the

paragraph – these are not negative
outcomes so this conclusion and the
writer’s position throughout is not clear
14 The argument made does not support
this position – the argument in support
of learning the language in body
paragraph 1 is much stronger.

15 This does not accurately reflect the

question – again, being compulsory is
not mentioned

16 It not clear what point is being made

is
here or why this is relevant.

Below you can see the changes I made to address these problems.

Learning a foreign language is very useful in life. Researchers argue that the introduction of a
second language in primary school rather than at secondary school might be advantageous. This
essay will discuss this proposal and the advantages and disadvantages it could bring.

There are clear benefits to learning a foreign language in primary school. Firstly, young children have
the potential to acquire language faster than those who are older . In fact, recent research has
revealed that the size of the brain shrinks as we age, which affects our ability to learn. Thus, as so
many students now travel overseas to study in the United Kingdom or other English-speaking
countries, it could be argued that the earlier such students learn a second language like this
the better. Secondly, the introduction of a foreign language could be seen as an opportunity for every
pupil to learn about different cultures at a young age and, therefore, become more rounded as
individuals. This type of understanding not only helps individual students, but it also promotes
tolerance, which benefits society as a whole.

Nevertheless, learning a foreign language may not be of benefit to every student at this age .
Some may find it difficult to cope with studying an extra language as well as the other subjects that
must be learned in primary school. As a result, they might struggle to concentrate on more important
subjects, such as mathematics and science. Another problem is that, even though a second
language has its benefits, it might not appeal to everyone, particularly if they have no future
plans to travel or study overseas . Therefore, for some students, this type of study would add
unnecessary pressure.
 All things considered, although there are disadvantages to this suggestion, in my view, the
advantages are greater. Having said this, it should not be compulsory for every student, as
some may struggle and may have no desire to travel, and it is important to keep students
interested in their learning.

Hedging language plays an important role in making this argument clearer and stronger. Can you
identify the hedging language in this new version? The next exercise will help you practise this.

Ihave tried to stick as closely to the original as possible, but I had to change the overall position,
because the ideas in the second body paragraph do not provide a convincing argument that the
disadvantages outweigh the advantages. This is now an example of band 8 skills (the argument being
made is not as fully developed as band 9 Task response requires).

There are several problems with the argument:

1) In the first body paragraph, a better example is needed to support the claim that ‘the earlier
students learn the language the better’. The current example is not relevant to the majority of primary
school students, so this does not support the idea well.
2) In the second body paragraph, the inability to concentrate on other subjects does not seem
convincing – why does having a language class affect your ability to concentrate when you are in a
maths class?

Extra practice
Re-read my comments on the highlighted problems in the second body paragraph and the conclusion.
Think about how you can improve the argument made in the second paragraph. For example:
o reaching a different conclusion about what the supporting evidence shows
o thinking of new supporting evidence
o adding any ideas that would help create a valid argument to support the overall position
Make a new plan for the paragraph and write a new second body paragraph and conclusion using any
of the language you have learned from lessons 14 and 15.

Or rewrite the original paragraph by filling in the gaps in this version:

Nevertheless, learning a foreign language may not be of benefit to every student at this age .
Some may find it difficult to cope with studying an extra language as well as the other subjects that
must be learned in primary school. As a result, _______________________________________.
Another problem is that _________________________________
___________________________________________________________________. Therefore,
___ _________________
________________________________________ might have negative outcomes.

NB You will need to make sure that you present ideas that are ‘negative outcomes’.
Can you identify the hedging language in our new version of this
essay? Tap on all of the examples you see, then click on 'show
answers' to see if you identified them all. Notice the effect each
example has on showing how confident I am that this will / would /

might happen, and on making my position clear throughout.

CLEAR hedging language

Learning a foreign language is very useful in life . Researchers argue that the introduction of a second
language in primary school rather than at secondary school might be advantageous . This essay will
discuss this proposal and the advantages and disadvantages it could bring .

There are clear benefits to learning a foreign language in primary school . Firstly , young children have the
potential to acquire language faster than those who are older . In fact , recent research has revealed that
the size of the brain shrinks as we age , which affects our ability to learn . Thus , as so many students now
travel overseas to study in the United Kingdom or other English - speaking countries , it could be argued that
the earlier such students learn a second language like this the better . Secondly , the introduction of a
foreign language could be seen as an opportunity for every pupil to learn about different cultures at a
young age and , therefore , become more rounded as individuals . This type of understanding not only helps
individual students , but it also promotes tolerance , which benefits society as a whole .

Nevertheless , learning a foreign language may not be of benefit to every student at this age .
Some may find it difficult to cope with studying an extra language as well as the other subjects that
must be learned in primary school . As a result , they might struggle to concentrate on more important
subjects , such as mathematics and science . Another problem is that , even though a second language has
its benefits , it might not appeal to everyone , particularly if they have no future plans to travel or study
overseas . Therefore , for some students, this type of study would add unnecessary pressure .

All things considered , although there are disadvantages to this suggestion , in my view , the advantages are
greater . Having said this , it should not be compulsory for every student , as some may struggle and
may have no desire to travel , and it is important to keep students interested in their learning .

Show answers
Can you identify the hedging language in our new version of this
essay? Tap on all of the examples you see, then click on 'show
answers' to see if you identified them all. Notice the effect each
example has on showing how confident I am that this will / would /

might happen, and on making my position clear throughout.

CLEAR hedging language

Learning a foreign language is very useful in life . Researchers argue that the introduction of a second
language in primary school rather than at secondary school might be ✘ advantageous . This essay will
discuss this proposal and the advantages and disadvantages it could ✘ bring .

There are clear ✘ benefits to learning a foreign language in primary school . Firstly , young children have
the potential to acquire language faster than those who are older . In fact , recent research has revealed
that the size of the brain shrinks as we age , which affects our ability to learn . Thus , as so many students
now travel overseas to study in the United Kingdom or other English - speaking countries ,
it could be argued that ✘ the earlier such students learn a second language like this the better . Secondly ,

the introduction of a foreign language could be seen as ✘ an opportunity for every pupil to learn about
different cultures at a young age and , therefore , become more rounded as individuals . This type of
understanding not only helps individual students , but it also promotes tolerance , which benefits society as
a whole .

Nevertheless , learning a foreign language may not be ✘ of benefit to every student at this age .
Some may find it difficult ✘ to cope with studying an extra language as well as the other subjects that
must be ✘ learned in primary school . As a result , they might ✘ struggle to concentrate on
more important ✘ subjects , such as mathematics and science . Another problem is that , even though a
second language has its benefits , it might not ✘ appeal to everyone , particularly ✘ if they have no future
plans to travel or study overseas . Therefore , for some students, ✘ this type of study would add ✘
unnecessary pressure .

All things considered , although there are disadvantages to this suggestion , in my view , the advantages are
greater . Having said this , it should not be ✘ compulsory for every student ✘ , as some may ✘ struggle and
may have no ✘ desire to travel , and it is important to ✘ keep students interested in their learning .

The answer:

Learning a foreign language is very useful in life. Researchers argue that the
introduction of a second language in primary school rather than at secondary
school might be advantageous. This essay will discuss this proposal and the
advantages and disadvantages it could bring.

There are clear benefits to learning a foreign language in primary school.

Firstly, young children have the potential to acquire language faster than
those who are older. In fact, recent research has revealed that the size of the
brain shrinks as we age, which affects our ability to learn. Thus, as so many
students now travel overseas to study in the United Kingdom or other English-
speaking countries, it could be argued that the earlier such students learn a
second language like this the better. Secondly, the introduction of a foreign
language could be seen as an opportunity for every pupil to learn about
different cultures at a young age and, therefore, become more rounded as
individuals. This type of understanding not only helps individual students, but
it also promotes tolerance, which benefits society as a whole.

Nevertheless, learning a foreign language may not be of benefit to every

student at this age. Some may find it difficult to cope with studying an extra
language as well as the other subjects that must be learned in primary
school. As a result, they might struggle to concentrate on more important
subjects, such as mathematics and science. Another problem is that, even
though a second language has its benefits, it might not appeal to everyone,
particularly if they have no future plans to travel or study overseas. Therefore,
for some students, this type of study would add unnecessary pressure.

All things considered, although there are disadvantages to this suggestion, in

my view, the advantages are greater. Having said this, it should not be
compulsory for every student , as some may struggle and may have no
desire to travel, and it is important to keep students interested in their
learning.

All done !
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 16 - GUIDED TEST PRACTICE 4
tuankhoi0811@[Link]
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Academic writing task 2: To what extent do you agree or
Table of Contents

disagree? Use styling

13.2 Paragraphing skills - reviewing PEEL

13.3 Language Building Font size: 1em /

In this lesson, you will learn about:

Lesson 14 Guided Test Practice 3 & Review of introductions

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16.1
14.1 Common problems Timing
in introductions
height
14.2 Thinking and 16.2 &Making
planning reviewing your
conclusions
position clear throughout
Sync with server
14.3 Developing range1 6.3 Problems
and accuracy and solutions tasks

Lesson 15 Addressing Band 6 Problems

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15.1 Addressing language problems Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS
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15.2 Addressing Coherence and cohesion problems

15.3 Addressing Task response problems Scroll

Lesson 16 Guided Test Practice 4 AC Task 2: To What

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Lesson 17 Guided Test Practice 5 AC Task 3: More

Lesson 18 Guided Test Practice 6, AC Task 4: More Logout

Lesson 19 Overview and Review

 16.1 Timing
Our next task can be found on page 54 of Cambridge IELTS 9. The question says:

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high
school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or
teaching sports to younger children).
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

We have now completed 4 essays using the planner and T.P.W.C approach, so you should be ready to
think about timing more seriously. Don’t impose a time limit yet, instead, when you are working on a
task, make a note of how long each stage takes you. This will show you where you still need to practise
more, and whether your total time is more than 40 minutes. Again, I use an app on my phone to help
with this, and there are plenty of apps designed to help you track your activities.
My timing for this task was:

8 minutes T hinking and P lanning

17 minutes W riting
8 minutes C hecking and editing

In all of my test practice, my fastest planning time was 7 minutes and my slowest was 10, but this was
unusual – 8 minutes was my most common time. When it came to writing, I fluctuated between 15 and
17 minutes, with almost every essay taking 17 minutes to write. Interestingly, the only essay that I
finished writing in 15 minutes was one that I had spent 10 minutes planning. The same essay also
required less editing. The lesson to learn from this is that you do not need to aim to speed up your
planning, or set yourself a goal to ‘plan in less than 10 minutes’ – thorough planning is more important
than fast planning.

KEY IDEA : Remember, planning is writing, so don’t speed through this stage. If you plan well, and
for long enough, you will find the writing stage easier and faster.

Comments on the task

This task presents one viewpoint or argument and asks to what extent you agree or disagree with
it. If this was a General Training task, the question would ask, Do you agree or disagree ?

Many people worry about these tasks, but the simplest way to approach them is to see side A as
‘agree’ and side B as ‘disagree’, so that you present a balanced discussion that considers both
sides before reaching your own conclusion. This means planning as follows:
 Side A – Agree (reasons why compulsory community service in high schools might be
good)
Side B – Disagree (reasons why compulsory community service in high school might not
be good)

Essentially, we are again looking at the pros and cons of this proposal. Notice that, in deciding on
the two sides above, I wrote might be good’ and 'might not be good '. This would show a neutral
‘

stance. This is in response to this particular topic, which I have no strong feelings about. However,
you may be given a topic that you feel very strongly in favour of, or against. For example, you may
have strong personal views on prisons, the justice system, or the environment, and find it difficult
to understand the opposing viewpoint. If you are given a question that you feel very strongly about,
you might prefer to present an argument like those we saw in lesson 7, when we looked at making
a counterargument.

KEY IDEA : Your response to the task will dictate your position, and the way that you present your
argument. You cannot predict or plan this before your test. The Task response criterion quite
literally measures how well you respond to each individual task .

Someone who lives in a country where community service is compulsory is likely to have stronger
views about this issue than someone who does not. Everyone’s experience and perspective is
different. This is why there is no single correct answer, and why you must approach each essay
question in a flexible way rather than taking one fixed approach to certain question ‘types’.

This question contains some examples to make sure that you understand what the term
‘community service’ means. Remember to look for clues like this in your test.

KEY IDEA : Be sure to make your perspective clear if you are drawing on personal experience or
describing something that happens in your country.
Plan and write your essay using the T.P.W.C approach. Record your times for each step and compare
them to the following recommendations:

You will see my model essay and plan for this question in the next lesson.
 16.2 Making your position clear throughout
As we have seen in previous lessons, modal verbs and hedging language are important when it comes
to making your position clear throughout. The exercises in this lesson will help you to practise this idea.

Thesis statements
Many teachers recommend adding a thesis statement to your introduction to make sure your position is
clear from the very beginning of your essay. There is no fixed rule about giving a thesis statement in
your introduction, and, as the next exercise shows, doing this will only help to make your position clear
if the statement accurately represents your overall argument and position.

Listening exercise
In this exercise, you will hear a recording of my model essay for this question. As you listen, decide
what my overall position is and think about how I make this clear throughout, then complete the
exercise.
You will notice in my own model essays that I don’t always include a thesis statement in my introduction
– I only do this when I feel it is helpful or necessary. A thesis statement effectively tells the reader the
conclusion you have reached about this argument, and I prefer to reveal this at the end of my essay, to
show that I arrived at my conclusion only after carefully looking at both sides of the argument. In some
countries, the convention is to always give your thesis statement in the introduction. Remember, IELTS
is an international test of English, so you will not be penalised if you do not write a thesis statement in
your introduction. However, you will lower your score if you write a thesis statement that does not reflect
your overall argument.

KEY IDEA : There is no strict rule about adding a thesis statement to your introduction. You should
only include one if you are confident that you can make your position clear. Don’t write this
sentence until you have planned your main argument and you are sure of what you can prove or
show in your essay, and make sure that it is a brief overview.

Language Building
The next exercises focus on the language I used in this essay. They will help improve your accuracy
and range as well as your Task response.

Language focus 1 - Verbs

As we have seen, the tenses, modal verbs, and adverbs you use are an important part of hedging
language and making your position clear throughout. Remember, modal verbs tell the reader how sure
you are that something will, might, or could happen. To practise this language, complete the exercise
below by filling in the gaps in my model essay. You will need to change the tense of the verbs and you
may need to add modal verbs, auxiliary verbs, and prepositions. Read the language note about word
order before you start.

Language note: Adverbs of certainty ( probably, certainly, surely etc.) help to make your
position clear. Be careful with the word order when you are using these adverbs with a
modal or auxiliary verb. The adverb should come between the modal or auxiliary and the
main verb. For example:
Correct: I will probably arrive late.
Incorrect: I probably will arrive late.
Language focus 2 - Vocabulary building
The model essays in this book are a good source of vocabulary. You can see when and how to use
words, as well as learning important collocation. You are more likely to remember words when you
need them in the test if you repeat them often, so come back to this exercise and repeat it after a few
days or weeks to see how much you remember.

Listen to the recording of my essay again, or look back at the model answer above, then make notes on
the planner and try to recreate my plan. Compare your notes to the plan I used for my essay, which you
can find by clicking on the button below.
Listen to the recording of my essay. As you listen, decide what my
overall position is and think about how I make it clear throughout.
Make notes if you find this helpful.

The final sentence of my introduction says: 'Doing so could have

repercussions for all concerned.' Which of the following phrases could
be added to this to create a thesis statement that reflects my overall
argument and position?

00:00 02:26

supports my argument does not represent my argument

and makes my position and makes my position unclear
clear throughout

A) Doing so could have repercussions for

all concerned, but it should not be
compulsory.

B) Doing so could have repercussions for

all concerned, and is likely to cause a lot
of problems.

C) Doing so could have repercussions for

all concerned, however, I fully support this
idea.

Show answers
Listen to the recording of my essay. As you listen, decide what my
overall position is and think about how I make it clear throughout.
Make notes if you find this helpful.

The final sentence of my introduction says: 'Doing so could have

repercussions for all concerned.' Which of the following phrases could
be added to this to create a thesis statement that reflects my overall
argument and position?

00:00 02:26

supports my argument does not represent my argument

and makes my position and makes my position unclear
clear throughout

A) Doing so could have repercussions for

all concerned, but it should not be
compulsory.

B) Doing so could have repercussions for

all concerned, and is likely to cause a lot
of problems.

C) Doing so could have repercussions for

all concerned, however, I fully support this
idea.

A x This makes my position unclear or confusing because my body

paragraphs and conclusion show this is a good idea.
B x This makes my position unclear or confusing because it only represents
the counterargument presented in the first body paragraph – my main
argument and conclusion show this is a good idea.
C This is a good thesis statement because it accurately represents my overall
position and argument and so my position is clear throughout.

All done !
 the gaps in the essay (1 - 18) using the words in brackets. To
Fill in
make my position clear throughout, and show how likely each of the
actions is, you will need to change the tense of the verbs, and you may
need to add modal verbs, auxiliary verbs, and prepositions. Be careful
with word order.

Your answers may be different to those in my model answer. When

you have finished, listen again to compare your answers to mine, then
click on 'Show answers' to see my comments.

00:00 02:26

Many community services rely on people to volunteer their time and effort. Some people think that forcing
high school students to take part in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so 1)
(have) repercussions for all concerned.

Firstly, making the programme compulsory 2) (have, certainly) an impact on

the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this. Thus, they cannot be expected
to help the elderly, work on renovation projects, or teach younger children, without adult supervision, which
3) (create) extra work for the charities. In addition, high school students
have a great deal of academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable 4)
(be, unlikely) popular, especially for any with high academic ambitions.

Thus, establishing this type of programme 5) (prove) difficult.

Nevertheless, there 6) (be, also) clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to

become focused only on their studies or their personal interests, and many 7)
(choose, not, normally) to do this type of work. Making it part of the standard

curriculum means that students 8) (have) the opportunity to try something

new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, work of this nature 9)
(help) them to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach them real-world

skills that 10) (be) very useful in their future career. Teaching teenagers to
be more community-minded 11) (ensure, also) that older volunteers 12)

(work, eventually) less, or even retire. Therefore, even though both groups

13) (need) adapt, everyone taking part 14)

(be, more likely, gain) from the experience.

In conclusion, I 15) (agree, completely) this proposal. Although the idea of

compulsory community service 16) (be, initially) difficult to implement, and

some 17) (resist) the idea, its long-term benefits 18)

(make up for, surely) any short-term problems.

 the gaps in the essay (1 - 18) using the words in brackets. To
Fill in
make my position clear throughout, and show how likely each of the
actions is, you will need to change the tense of the verbs, and you may
need to add modal verbs, auxiliary verbs, and prepositions. Be careful
with word order.

Your answers may be different to those in my model answer. When

you have finished, listen again to compare your answers to mine, then
click on 'Show answers' to see my comments.

00:00 02:26

Many community services rely on people to volunteer their time and effort. Some people think that forcing
high school students to take part in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so 1)
(have) repercussions for all concerned.

Firstly, making the programme compulsory 2) (have, certainly) an impact on

the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this. Thus, they cannot be expected
to help the elderly, work on renovation projects, or teach younger children, without adult supervision, which
3) (create) extra work for the charities. In addition, high school students
have a great deal of academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable 4)
(be, unlikely) popular, especially for any with high academic ambitions.

Thus, establishing this type of programme 5) (prove) difficult.

Nevertheless, there 6) (be, also) clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to

become focused only on their studies or their personal interests, and many 7)
(choose, not, normally) to do this type of work. Making it part of the standard

curriculum means that students 8) (have) the opportunity to try something

new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, work of this nature 9)
(help) them to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach them real-world

skills that 10) (be) very useful in their future career. Teaching teenagers to

be more community-minded 11) (ensure, also) that older volunteers 12)

(work, eventually) less, or even retire. Therefore, even though both groups
13) (need) adapt, everyone taking part 14)
(be, more likely, gain) from the experience.

In conclusion, I 15) (agree, completely) this proposal. Although the idea of

compulsory community service 16) (be, initially) difficult to implement, and

some 17) (resist) the idea, its long-term benefits 18)

(make up for, surely) any short-term problems.

The answer:

Many community services rely on people to volunteer their time and effort.
Some people think that forcing high school students to take part in
programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so 1) could have / may have /
might have (have) repercussions for all concerned.

Firstly, making the programme compulsory 2) would certainly have (have,

certainly) an impact on the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature
enough for work like this. Thus, they cannot be expected to help the elderly,
work on renovation projects, or teach younger children, without adult
supervision, which 3) would create (create) extra work for the charities. In
addition, high school students have a great deal of academic pressure, so
adding more to their timetable 4) is unlikely to be (be, unlikely) popular,
especially for any with high academic ambitions. Thus, establishing this type
of programme 5) might prove / could prove / may prove (prove) difficult.

Nevertheless, there 6) would also be / could also be (be, also) clear benefits.
It is easy for teenagers to become focused only on their studies or their
personal interests, and many 7) would not normally choose (choose, not,
normally) to do this type of work. Making it part of the standard curriculum
means that students 8) would have (have) the opportunity to try something
new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, work of this nature
9) would help (help) them to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach them
real-world skills that 10) will be / would be (be) very useful in their future
career. Teaching teenagers to be more community-minded 11) should also
ensure (ensure, also) that older volunteers 12) can eventually work / will
eventually be able to work (work, eventually) less, or even retire. Therefore,
even though both groups 13) would need to / will need to (need) adapt,
everyone taking part 14) is more likely to gain (be, more likely, gain) from the
experience.

In conclusion, I 15) completely agree with (agree, completely) this proposal.

Although the idea of compulsory community service 16) may initially be /
might initially be / could initially be (be, initially) difficult to implement, and
some 17) may resist / could resist / might resist (resist) the idea, its long-term
benefits 18) will surely make up for / would surely make up for (make up for,
surely) any short-term problems.
Alternative answers are given in brackets.
1) could have (may have / might have)
2) would certainly have
3) would create
4) is unlikely to be
5) might prove difficult (could prove difficult / may prove difficult)
6) would also be (‘there are also clear benefits’ would indicate that this
programme already exists or that you are very certain of this outcome; ‘could
also be’ is possible but this is less sure and suggests you are less certain
about the success of this proposal)
7) would not normally choose
8) would have
9) would help (‘could help’ is possible but this shows you feel it is less certain)
10) will be (‘would / could be’ are also possible, ‘will / would be’ show the
writer is more certain that these skills will help)
11) should also ensure (‘would ensure’ is more definite) NB the verb ‘ensure’
means ‘to make sure/ to make certain’, so it is odd to use it with ‘could’ here
12) can eventually work (‘could eventually work’ is also possible)
13) would need to
14) is more likely to gain
15) completely agree with
16) may initially be (might or could are also possible)
17) may resist (might or could are also possible)
18) will surely make up for (‘would surely make up for’ is also possible.)

All done !
QUESTION 1

To build your vocabulary, read through the model answer and find a
word or phrase that matches the meanings in questions 1 - 18 below.
After a few days, repeat the exercise without looking back at the model
to see how many of the words you can remember. Do the same for
questions 2 and 3, which gradually become more difficult.

Model answer:

Many community services rely on people to volunteer their time and

effort. Some people think that forcing high school students to take part
in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so could have
repercussions for all concerned.

Firstly, making the programme compulsory would certainly have an

impact on the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough
for work like this. Thus, they cannot be expected to help the elderly,
work on renovation projects, or teach younger children without adult
supervision, which would create extra work for the charities. In
addition, high school students have a great deal of academic pressure,
so adding more to their timetable is unlikely to be popular, especially
for any with high academic ambitions. Thus, establishing this type of
programme might prove difficult.

Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for

teenagers to become focused only on their studies or their personal
interests, and many would not normally choose to do this type of work.
Making it part of the standard curriculum means that students would
have the opportunity to try something new. Furthermore, while it is true
that many lack maturity, work of this nature would help them to develop
a sense of responsibility, and teach them real-world skills that will be
very useful in their future career. Teaching teenagers to be more
community-minded should also ensure that older volunteers can
eventually work less. Therefore, even though both groups would need
to adapt, everyone taking part is more likely to gain from the
experience.

In conclusion, I completely agree with this proposal. Although the idea

of compulsory community service may initially be difficult to implement,
and some may resist the idea, its long-term benefits will surely make
up for any short-term problems.

1. to do something willingly without payment or without being forced:

2. negative effects:

3. you must do it; obligatory:

4. watching someone to make sure an activity is done safely or well:

5. normal, ordinary, typical:

6. the subjects studied in school:

7. (this) type (of work) – (work of this) :

8. something that applies to everyday or normal life (not fantasy):

9. thinking about the community :

10. to change to fit a situation:

11. participating:

12. to benefit from:

13. suggestion:

14. to put into operation / carry out:

15. to fight against something:

16. lasting a long time:

17. lasting a short time:

18. to compensate for:

QUESTION 2

Fill in the blanks in this essay using the words from the previous
exercise. Again repeat this after a few days or weeks to see how many
you can remember. For a higher difficulty level, complete the next
question.

Many community services rely on people to their time and effort. Some
people think that forcing high school students to take part in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so
could have for all concerned.

Firstly, making the programme would certainly have an impact on the people
involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this. Thus, they cannot be expected to help the
elderly, work on renovation projects, or teach younger children without adult ,

which would create extra work for the charities. In addition, high school students have a great deal of
academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable is unlikely to be popular, especially for any with high
academic ambitions. Thus, establishing this type of programme might prove difficult.

Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to become focused only on their
studies or their personal interests, and many would not normally choose to do this type of work. Making it
part of the means that students would have
the opportunity to try something new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, work of this
would help them to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach them

skills that will be very useful in their future career. Teaching teenagers to be

more should also ensure that older volunteers can eventually work less.

Therefore, even though both groups would need to , everyone

is more likely to from the experience.

In conclusion, I completely agree with this . Although the idea of compulsory

community service may initially be difficult to , and some may

the idea, its benefits will surely

any problems.

QUESTION 3

To improve your collocation, in this exercise you will also need to

remember other words used in the essay.
Many community services rely on people their time and effort. Some people
think that forcing high school students to take part in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so could
all concerned.

Firstly, the programme would certainly have

an impact on the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this. Thus, they
cannot be expected to help the elderly, work on renovation projects, or teach younger children without
, which would create extra work for the charities. In addition, high school
students have a great deal of academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable is unlikely to be
popular, especially for any with high academic ambitions. Thus, establishing this type of programme might
prove difficult.

Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to become focused only on their
studies or their personal interests, and many would not normally choose to do this type of work. Making it
part of the means that students would have the opportunity to try something

new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, would help them

to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach them that will be very useful

in their future career. Teaching teenagers to be should also ensure that older
volunteers can eventually work less. Therefore, even though both groups would
, everyone is more likely to

the experience.

In conclusion, I completely agree with . Although the idea of compulsory

community service may initially be , and some may

, its will surely

any .

Show answers
QUESTION 1

To build your vocabulary, read through the model answer and find a
word or phrase that matches the meanings in questions 1 - 18 below.
After a few days, repeat the exercise without looking back at the model
to see how many of the words you can remember. Do the same for
questions 2 and 3, which gradually become more difficult.

Model answer:

Many community services rely on people to volunteer their time and

effort. Some people think that forcing high school students to take part
in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so could have
repercussions for all concerned.

Firstly, making the programme compulsory would certainly have an

impact on the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough
for work like this. Thus, they cannot be expected to help the elderly,
work on renovation projects, or teach younger children without adult
supervision, which would create extra work for the charities. In
addition, high school students have a great deal of academic pressure,
so adding more to their timetable is unlikely to be popular, especially
for any with high academic ambitions. Thus, establishing this type of
programme might prove difficult.

Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for

teenagers to become focused only on their studies or their personal
interests, and many would not normally choose to do this type of work.
Making it part of the standard curriculum means that students would
have the opportunity to try something new. Furthermore, while it is true
that many lack maturity, work of this nature would help them to develop
a sense of responsibility, and teach them real-world skills that will be
very useful in their future career. Teaching teenagers to be more
community-minded should also ensure that older volunteers can
eventually work less. Therefore, even though both groups would need
to adapt, everyone taking part is more likely to gain from the
experience.

In conclusion, I completely agree with this proposal. Although the idea

of compulsory community service may initially be difficult to implement,
and some may resist the idea, its long-term benefits will surely make
up for any short-term problems.

1. to do something willingly without payment or without being forced:

2. negative effects:

3. you must do it; obligatory:

4. watching someone to make sure an activity is done safely or well:

5. normal, ordinary, typical:

6. the subjects studied in school:

7. (this) type (of work) – (work of this) :

8. something that applies to everyday or normal life (not fantasy):

9. thinking about the community :

10. to change to fit a situation:

11. participating:

12. to benefit from:

13. suggestion:

14. to put into operation / carry out:

15. to fight against something:

16. lasting a long time:

17. lasting a short time:

18. to compensate for:

 The answer:

1. to do something willingly without payment or without being forced: to

volunteer / volunteer
2. negative effects: repercussions
3. you must do it; obligatory: compulsory
4. watching someone to make sure an activity is done safely or well:
supervision
5. normal, ordinary, typical: standard
6. the subjects studied in school: the school curriculum / the curriculum /
curriculum
7. (this) type (of work) – (work of this) : nature
8. something that applies to everyday or normal life (not fantasy): real-world
9. thinking about the community : community-minded
10. to change to fit a situation: adapt
11. participating: taking part
12. to benefit from: to gain from / gain from
13. suggestion: proposal
14. to put into operation / carry out: implement / to implement
15. to fight against something: resist / to resist
16. lasting a long time: long-term
17. lasting a short time: short-term
18. to compensate for: make up for / to make up for

QUESTION 2

Fill in the blanks in this essay using the words from the previous
exercise. Again repeat this after a few days or weeks to see how many
you can remember. For a higher difficulty level, complete the next
question.

Many community services rely on people to their time and effort. Some
people think that forcing high school students to take part in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so
could have for all concerned.

Firstly, making the programme would certainly have an impact on the people
involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this. Thus, they cannot be expected to help the
elderly, work on renovation projects, or teach younger children without adult ,

which would create extra work for the charities. In addition, high school students have a great deal of
academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable is unlikely to be popular, especially for any with high
academic ambitions. Thus, establishing this type of programme might prove difficult.
Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to become focused only on their
studies or their personal interests, and many would not normally choose to do this type of work. Making it
part of the means that students would have
the opportunity to try something new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, work of this
would help them to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach them

skills that will be very useful in their future career. Teaching teenagers to be

more should also ensure that older volunteers can eventually work less.

Therefore, even though both groups would need to , everyone

is more likely to from the experience.

In conclusion, I completely agree with this . Although the idea of compulsory

community service may initially be difficult to , and some may

the idea, its benefits will surely

any problems.

The answer:

Many community services rely on people to volunteer their time and effort.
Some people think that forcing high school students to take part in
programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so could have repercussions for all
concerned.

Firstly, making the programme compulsory would certainly have an impact on

the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this.
Thus, they cannot be expected to help the elderly, work on renovation
projects, or teach younger children without adult supervision , which would
create extra work for the charities. In addition, high school students have a
great deal of academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable is unlikely
to be popular, especially for any with high academic ambitions. Thus,
establishing this type of programme might prove difficult.

Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to

become focused only on their studies or their personal interests, and many
would not normally choose to do this type of work. Making it part of the
standard curriculum means that students would have the opportunity to try
something new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, work of
this nature would help them to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach
them real-world skills that will be very useful in their future career. Teaching
teenagers to be more community-minded should also ensure that older
volunteers can eventually work less. Therefore, even though both groups
would need to adapt , everyone taking part is more likely to gain from the
experience.
 In conclusion, I completely agree with this proposal . Although the idea of
compulsory community service may initially be difficult to implement , and
some may resist the idea, its long-term benefits will surely make up for any
short-term problems.

QUESTION 3

To improve your collocation, in this exercise you will also need to

remember other words used in the essay.

Many community services rely on people their time and effort. Some people
think that forcing high school students to take part in programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so could
all concerned.

Firstly, the programme would certainly have

an impact on the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this. Thus, they
cannot be expected to help the elderly, work on renovation projects, or teach younger children without
, which would create extra work for the charities. In addition, high school
students have a great deal of academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable is unlikely to be
popular, especially for any with high academic ambitions. Thus, establishing this type of programme might
prove difficult.

Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to become focused only on their
studies or their personal interests, and many would not normally choose to do this type of work. Making it
part of the means that students would have the opportunity to try something

new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, would help them

to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach them that will be very useful

in their future career. Teaching teenagers to be should also ensure that older
volunteers can eventually work less. Therefore, even though both groups would
, everyone is more likely to

the experience.

In conclusion, I completely agree with . Although the idea of compulsory

community service may initially be , and some may

, its will surely

any .
The answer:

Many community services rely on people to volunteer their time and effort.
Some people think that forcing high school students to take part in
programmes like this is a good idea. Doing so could have repercussions for all
concerned.

Firstly, making the programme compulsory would certainly have an impact on

the people involved. Not all teenagers are mature enough for work like this.
Thus, they cannot be expected to help the elderly, work on renovation
projects, or teach younger children without adult supervision , which would
create extra work for the charities. In addition, high school students have a
great deal of academic pressure, so adding more to their timetable is unlikely
to be popular, especially for any with high academic ambitions. Thus,
establishing this type of programme might prove difficult.

Nevertheless, there would also be clear benefits. It is easy for teenagers to

become focused only on their studies or their personal interests, and many
would not normally choose to do this type of work. Making it part of the
standard curriculum means that students would have the opportunity to try
something new. Furthermore, while it is true that many lack maturity, work of
this nature would help them to develop a sense of responsibility, and teach
them real-world skills that will be very useful in their future career. Teaching
teenagers to be more community-minded should also ensure that older
volunteers can eventually work less. Therefore, even though both groups
would need to adapt , everyone taking part is more likely to gain from the
experience.

In conclusion, I completely agree with this proposal . Although the idea of

compulsory community service may initially be difficult to implement , and
some may resist the idea , its long-term benefits will surely make up for any
short-term problems .

All done !
 16.3 Problems and solutions tasks
What about Problems and solutions questions?
Many people believe the approach to essay writing varies with different question ‘types’. To show that
you can use the same planning approach with any question, I have written a new version of this task:

In some countries, very few young people are willing to do unpaid community service (for
example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to younger
children).
What problems might this cause?
What do you think is the best way to solve this?

Comments on the task

This task asks you two questions:

Language note: Few has a negative meaning
What problems might this cause? and is different to ‘a few ’. ‘ Few young people’
means not many young people.’ Adding very
‘ ' '

What do you think is the best way to

makes this negative idea even stronger. This is an
solve this?
important point in the argument in this question.
Other variations on questions like this are:

Why might this be the case?

What measures could be taken to solve this problem / these problems?

Or you may be given an argument that presents the only or the best solution to a problem and
‘ ’ ‘ ’

then asks you to discuss whether this is the only or best way to solve it. The use of modals, or
words like ‘best’ and ‘only’, show where you need to make your position clear. In other words, you
may need to write about:

why you believe a problem is occurring

what you think could be done to solve it

what you think is the best way to solve it

why you think that xyz is not the only / best way to solve it

In effect, you will present and discuss the causes and effects of something, and you can review the
language for this in Lessons 3 and 4.
Planning and Themes

When planning, you should follow the same approach as before. The problems and solutions will
create your two ‘sides’, and you should be sure to include themes such as problems, causes,
effects, solutions in your headings.

With our previous essays, each paragraph has mainly discussed the same themes. However, with
questions like this, you may find that there are different themes in each paragraph. This is because
the causes of the problems may be different to the solutions . Again, it is important to be flexible –
don’t try to make the essay question fit into one fixed pattern.

KEY IDEA : Don’t force yourself to follow the same patterns of thinking or planning in each essay.
Be flexible in your approach and adapt it to the question you are given, which will be different each
time. In some essays, you might use the same themes in each paragraph, in others, you may find
they are different in each paragraph.

As with all tasks, you will then need to gather evidence for your argument by asking yourself
questions like these:

As with advantages and disadvantages, seeing the causes of the problem next to the possible
solutions can help you think of ideas. For example, if one of the causes you identify is a lack of
‘

money ’, then a logical solution to this is to ‘find a way to get more money ’.
Once you have a solution, you can evaluate it by commenting on how easy or difficult it will be to
achieve, or how effective it will / would / or could be, s o think about how sure you are about each
of your possible solutions. Remember, do not make a firm prediction (using will or would ) unless
you have knowledge or experience to support an idea (you can review this in lesson 3.3).
Finally, even if you are not asked this in the question, deciding on the best solution is a nice way to
conclude an essay like this.

Practice
Look at my plan for this essay . Notice that I don’t have an initial position because I need to think
through the problems and evaluate the solutions first.

Read the introduction and conclusion to my essay (below), then use the ideas in my plan to write the
body paragraphs. You can either do this on your own paper or using the worksheet below. Click on
'Show answers' in the worksheet to see my model.
Introduction
Community service is a useful way of helping in areas where the local government is unable to.
However, as it is unpaid, the idea is often not very appealing to young people. This causes
several problems, and it is important to find an effective solution.

Conclusion:
In conclusion, community service is an important part of any society and everyone suffers if it

fails. In my view, the best way to encourage young people to get involved is to offer good
incentives, and to show just how important it is to everyone.
 Extra practice
Time yourself and write your own plan and essay based on this question:

In some countries, very few young people are willing to do unpaid community service
(for example, working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood, or teaching sports to
younger children).
What problems might this cause?
What do you think is the best way to solve this?

Ifyou have a test buddy, swap essays and try to assess your partners essay. To see if the essay is
band 7, think about the following:

Task response
Does the essay

address all parts of the task?

Present a clear position throughout?
Present, extend, and support main ideas? (Does the writer explain why they believe this?)
Are the conclusions clear? (Is there anything confusing for the reader?)

Coherence and cohesion

Are the ideas organised logically?

Is there clear progression in the argument? (Can you follow the argument easily?)
Are the cohesive devices used effectively? (i.e. as a helpful signpost for the reader)
Is there a range of cohesive devices?
Is there a clear central topic within each paragraph?

Lexical resource

Is the vocabulary helpful in explaining the writer’s ideas clearly?

Does the writer mainly use vocabulary that they understand well?
Is the style of the language appropriately formal?

Grammatical range and accuracy

Is there a variety of grammatical structures or do the sentences follow a similar pattern and
sound repetitive?
Are there only a few grammatical mistakes?
Suggest any changes that your partner could make and explain why you think these changes
would be helpful.
Look at my model answers from this lesson and make a note of any language you would like
to learn.
QUESTION 1
Look at my plan for this essay, then read my introduction and
conclusion. Use the ideas in my plan to write the first body paragraph
below.

QUESTION 2
Now use the ideas in my plan to write the second body paragraph.

When you have finished, click on 'Show answers' to compare your

version to the model answer. Make a note of any language you would
like to learn.

Show answers
QUESTION 1
Look at my plan for this essay, then read my introduction and
conclusion. Use the ideas in my plan to write the first body paragraph
below.

QUESTION 2
Now use the ideas in my plan to write the second body paragraph.

When you have finished, click on 'Show answers' to compare your

version to the model answer. Make a note of any language you would
like to learn.

Model answer
Community service is a useful way of helping in areas where the local
government is unable to. However, as it is unpaid, the idea is often not very
appealing to young people. This causes several problems, and it is important
to find an effective solution.

Community service and charitable programmes generally help to take care of

the most vulnerable in society. This can mean providing food and care for the
poor, the homeless, or the elderly, or it may mean improving the public spaces
where they live. If young people do not become involved in this work, the
responsibility falls to older people, who may have the time but not the physical
strength or resources needed. As a result, the vulnerable will suffer and the
places where they live will eventually deteriorate. Unless the problem is
solved, the culture of taking care of others could disappear. A community
where people only think about themselves is not a healthy one, so it is
important to find a solution.

There are several ways to approach this problem. The first, and perhaps most
obvious, is to make community service compulsory for all high school
students. While this would go a long way to solving the problem, it may not be
easy to implement, and is likely to be unpopular. A second, and more
successful approach, would be to find a way to encourage younger people to
help. For example, by making sure they receive training, and learn useful
skills in return for their efforts. Participants could also be given good
references to improve their employment prospects. This would mean even
more if employers actively looked for this type of experience when recruiting.
Therefore, an effective solution requires more than the efforts of young
people.

In conclusion, community service is an important part of any society and

everyone suffers if it fails. In my view, the best way to encourage young
people to get involved is to offer good incentives, and to show just how
important it is to everyone

All done !
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 17 - GUIDED TEST PRACTICE 5
tuankhoi0811@[Link]
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Academic writing task 3: Dealing with more complex test
Table of Contents

SECTION TWO: TEST Practice

questions Use styling

Key Ideas about Test practice Font size: 1em /

In this lesson, you will learn about:

Lesson 11 Guided Test Practice 1
Auto-adjust line
17.1 6 Thinking
Lesson 12 Addressing band problems and planning
height
Lesson 13 Guided Test 17.2
PracticeThe
1 language of cause and effect

Lesson 14 Guided Test 1Practice

7.3 A 3positive
& Review or
of a negative development?
introductions
Sync with server

Lesson 15 Addressing Band 6 Problems

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Lesson 16 Guided Test Practice 4 AC Task 2: To Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS
What

Page view
16.1 Timing

16.2 Making your position clear throughout Scroll

16.3 Problems and solutions tasks

Page animation
Lesson 17 Guided Test Practice 5 AC Task 3: More

Lesson 18 Guided Test Practice 6, AC Task 4: More Logout

Lesson 19 Overview and Review

 17.1 Thinking and planning
With each task so far, we have been able to plan in a very similar way, and I have encouraged you to
think in a simpler way about the tasks so that you can develop basic planning skills. However, there are
several more points to consider, and the tasks in the next few lessons will show you how to be more
flexible in your planning and thinking.

Some writing tasks are more complex than they might initially seem, which makes it doubly important to
think carefully about the question before you begin. You will reach a high level when you can
consistently answer the question well in 40 minutes, whether the topic is general or abstract, and
whether the task itself presents a short, seemingly simple argument, or a longer, more complex one.

KEY IDEA : Higher level candidates are flexible enough to adapt their approach to any essay
question. Take the time to identify key details in the question and adapt your planning accordingly.

The next task can be found on page 77 of Cambridge IELTS 9 . The question says:

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of
sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and
that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Comments on the task

Although this task looks similar to others we have done, taking some time to read and think about
the task shows that it is not as simple as discussing two viewpoints then giving your own opinion.
The two arguments being made in this question include the following three ideas:

o ‘ the best way to deal with a problem

’

o whether or not this would have ‘ little effect’

o whether other measures are needed.
‘ ’

As you can see, these ideas are all related to problems, solutions, and cause and effect. Therefore, you
need to plan and write this essay in a similar way to the problems and solutions essay we saw in lesson
16.

When you are given 2 different viewpoints to discuss like this, it is best to see these as the two
sides to your essay. This means that, in this essay, you will discuss:

A) whether adding sports facilities is the best solution, and

 B) whether other measures are needed.

This task is asking you to discuss ‘public health’. So, the focus of your essay will be on the general
public, or people in general.

Practice
You will need to talk about the topic of food and diet in this essay, so it is a good idea to review this
vocabulary before you begin. When you are practising, brainstorming vocabulary on a topic is a good
warm-up activity to help you get started. Write down as many words as you can think of under the
headings below:

Health Diet Food

Now spend up to 10 minutes thinking about this issue and planning your answer to this question.
Ensure that your planning includes ideas related to cause and effect, and problems and solutions, and
don’t worry if you have different themes in each paragraph. Don’t forget to add ‘Give my own opinion’ to
your conclusion section to remind you to do this as well.

When you have finished, spend 20 minutes writing your essay. Then look at my plan below and
compare it to yours. For extra practice, after studying my plan, you could try to write my essay too, then
compare your version to the way that I explain these ideas in my model, which you will see in the
exercises in the next lesson.
My plan:
 17.2 The language of cause and effect
As with the essays in lesson 16, this essay forces you to use the language of cause and effect.
Understanding how ideas are connected together is very important for this. The following three
exercises will help you to practise this language.

Practice
These exercises will help you to increase your Coherence and cohesion score. If you find them difficult
at first, come back and repeat the exercises in a few days to review the key language points.

In the first two exercises, fill in the gaps in the body paragraphs of my essay by dragging the extracts
into the correct place. Think about meaning, logic, and about coherence and cohesion (particularly
referencing, and how ideas are connected together). Hint, drop the extract in place when you can see a
black dotted line around the space. Finally, fill in the gaps in my complete essay to practise connecting
sentences and ideas.

Make a note of any new language you would like to learn connected to food, diet, or health. You will find
a practice exercise related to this in the next lesson.
QUESTION 1
Fill inthe gaps in the first body paragraph of my essay by selecting the
correct extract and dragging it to the correct place in the paragraph.
Think about meaning, logic, and about coherence and cohesion
(particularly referencing, and how ideas are connected together).

this proposal assumes that the main reason people are unhealthy is that they lack

sophisticated equipment is not essential for getting fit; walking or running in the street

poor diet, work stress, and a lack of time to address them

many public health issues occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack of exercise is

Body paragraph 1

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some. However, access to

such facilities. In reality, only one of these. Among other key factors are .

Furthermore, would also achieve this. Thus, if a lack of facilities is not responsible for current
health problems, simply adding more will not solve them.

QUESTION 2
Now do the same for the second body paragraph.

could be tackled by persuading people to cook nutritious meals themselves

people lack the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a way

not only would work stress be reduced, but they would also have more time to exercise

a change in attitude, and to see taking time out from the pressures of work as healthy rather than a
sign of

these solutions will take time and, for those who cannot reduce their working hours,

Body paragraph 2

Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. If to address this. It may

require laziness or weakness. If more people did this, . The issue of diet

rather than choosing a faster alternative. Nevertheless, are likely to be

ineffective. Seemingly, when it comes to solving complex health problems, there is no simple solution.
QUESTION 3

Now, without looking back, try to fill in the gaps in my essay with the
appropriate linking words and phrases.
Model answer

Public health is a growing concern, with many countries reporting increasing levels of obesity. Some
believe the problem can be addressed by adding more sports facilities, while others think this may not be
enough. A closer look at the problem will help in assessing these views.

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some. 1) , this

proposal assumes that the main reason people are unhealthy is that they lack access to such facilities. 2)
, many public health issues occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack

of exercise is only one of these. 3) key factors are poor diet, work stress,

and a lack of time to address them. 4) , sophisticated equipment is not

essential for getting fit; walking or running in the streets would also achieve this. 5)
, if a lack of facilities is not responsible for current health problems, simply
adding more will not solve them.

Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. 6) people

lack the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a way to address this. 7)
a change in attitude, and to see taking time out from the pressures of work

as healthy rather than a sign of laziness or weakness. 8) , not only would

work stress be reduced, but they would also have more time to exercise. 9)
could be tackled by persuading people to cook nutritious meals themselves rather than choosing a faster
alternative. 10) , these solutions will take time and, for those who cannot

reduce their working hours, are likely to be ineffective. 11) , when it comes
to solving complex health problems, there is no simple solution.

In conclusion, in my view, giving people who are time-poor greater access to sports facilities will not be
effective and is too simplistic a solution. Other measures are clearly required, but any action taken to
improve public health requires a change in lifestyle, and this needs the cooperation of everyone involved.

Show answers
QUESTION 1
Fill inthe gaps in the first body paragraph of my essay by selecting the
correct extract and dragging it to the correct place in the paragraph.
Think about meaning, logic, and about coherence and cohesion
(particularly referencing, and how ideas are connected together).

this proposal assumes that the main reason people are unhealthy is that they lack

sophisticated equipment is not essential for getting fit; walking or running in the street

poor diet, work stress, and a lack of time to address them

many public health issues occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack of exercise is

Body paragraph 1

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some. However, ✘ access to

such facilities. In reality, ✘ only one of these. Among other key factors are ✘ .

Furthermore, ✘ would also achieve this. Thus, if a lack of facilities is not responsible for current
health problems, simply adding more will not solve them.

The answer:

Body paragraph 1

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some.

However, this proposal assumes that the main reason people are unhealthy is
that they lack access to such facilities. In reality, many public health issues
occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack of exercise is only one of
these. Among other key factors are poor diet, work stress, and a lack of time
to address them . Furthermore, sophisticated equipment is not essential for
getting fit; walking or running in the street would also achieve this. Thus, if a
lack of facilities is not responsible for current health problems, simply adding
more will not solve them.
QUESTION 2
Now do the same for the second body paragraph.

could be tackled by persuading people to cook nutritious meals themselves

people lack the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a way

not only would work stress be reduced, but they would also have more time to exercise

a change in attitude, and to see taking time out from the pressures of work as healthy rather than a
sign of

these solutions will take time and, for those who cannot reduce their working hours,

Body paragraph 2

Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. If ✘ to address this. It may

require ✘ laziness or weakness. If more people did this, ✘ . The issue of diet

✘ rather than choosing a faster alternative. Nevertheless, ✘ are likely to be

ineffective. Seemingly, when it comes to solving complex health problems, there is no simple solution.

The answer:

Body paragraph 2

Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. If people lack
the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a way to address
this. It may require a change in attitude, and to see taking time out from the
pressures of work as healthy rather than a sign of laziness or weakness. If
more people did this, not only would work stress be reduced, but they would
also have more time to exercise . The issue of diet could be tackled by
persuading people to cook nutritious meals themselves rather than choosing a
faster alternative. Nevertheless, these solutions will take time and, for those
who cannot reduce their working hours, are likely to be ineffective. Seemingly,
when it comes to solving complex health problems, there is no simple
solution.

QUESTION 3

Now, without looking back, try to fill in the gaps in my essay with the
appropriate linking words and phrases.
Model answer

Public health is a growing concern, with many countries reporting increasing levels of obesity. Some
believe the problem can be addressed by adding more sports facilities, while others think this may not be
enough. A closer look at the problem will help in assessing these views.

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some. 1) , this

proposal assumes that the main reason people are unhealthy is that they lack access to such facilities. 2)
, many public health issues occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack

of exercise is only one of these. 3) key factors are poor diet, work stress,

and a lack of time to address them. 4) , sophisticated equipment is not

essential for getting fit; walking or running in the streets would also achieve this. 5)
, if a lack of facilities is not responsible for current health problems, simply
adding more will not solve them.

Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. 6) people

lack the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a way to address this. 7)
a change in attitude, and to see taking time out from the pressures of work

as healthy rather than a sign of laziness or weakness. 8) , not only would

work stress be reduced, but they would also have more time to exercise. 9)
could be tackled by persuading people to cook nutritious meals themselves rather than choosing a faster
alternative. 10) , these solutions will take time and, for those who cannot

reduce their working hours, are likely to be ineffective. 11) , when it comes
to solving complex health problems, there is no simple solution.

In conclusion, in my view, giving people who are time-poor greater access to sports facilities will not be
effective and is too simplistic a solution. Other measures are clearly required, but any action taken to
improve public health requires a change in lifestyle, and this needs the cooperation of everyone involved.

The answer:

Model answer

Public health is a growing concern, with many countries reporting increasing

levels of obesity. Some believe the problem can be addressed by adding
more sports facilities, while others think this may not be enough. A closer look
at the problem will help in assessing these views.

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some. 1)

However , this proposal assumes that the main reason people are unhealthy is
that they lack access to such facilities. 2) In reality , many public health issues
occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack of exercise is only one of
these. 3) Among other key factors are poor diet, work stress, and a lack of
time to address them. 4) Furthermore , sophisticated equipment is not
essential for getting fit; walking or running in the streets would also achieve
this. 5) Thus , if a lack of facilities is not responsible for current health
problems, simply adding more will not solve them.
Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. 6) If people
lack the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a way to
address this. 7) It may require / This may require a change in attitude, and to
see taking time out from the pressures of work as healthy rather than a sign of
laziness or weakness. 8) If more people did this , not only would work stress
be reduced, but they would also have more time to exercise. 9) The issue of
diet could be tackled by persuading people to cook nutritious meals
themselves rather than choosing a faster alternative. 10) Nevertheless , these
solutions will take time and, for those who cannot reduce their working hours,
are likely to be ineffective. 11) Seemingly , when it comes to solving complex
health problems, there is no simple solution.

In conclusion, in my view, giving people who are time-poor greater access to

sports facilities will not be effective and is too simplistic a solution. Other
measures are clearly required, but any action taken to improve public health
requires a change in lifestyle, and this needs the cooperation of everyone
involved.

Model Answer

Public health is a growing concern, with many countries reporting increasing

levels of obesity. Some believe the problem can be addressed by adding
more sports facilities, while others think this may not be enough. A closer look
at the problem will help in assessing these views.

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some.

However, this proposal assumes that the main reason people are unhealthy is
that they lack access to such facilities. In reality, many public health issues
occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack of exercise is only one of
these. Among other key factors are poor diet, work stress, and a lack of time
to address them. Furthermore, sophisticated equipment is not essential for
getting fit; walking or running in the streets would also achieve this. Thus, if a
lack of facilities is not responsible for current health problems, simply adding
more will not solve them.

Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. If people lack
the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a way to address
this. It may require a change in attitude, and to see taking time out from the
pressures of work as healthy rather than a sign of laziness or weakness. If
more people did this, not only would work stress be reduced, but they would
also have more time to exercise. The issue of diet could be tackled by
persuading people to cook nutritious meals themselves rather than choosing a
faster alternative. Nevertheless, these solutions will take time and, for those
who cannot reduce their working hours, are likely to be ineffective. Seemingly,
when it comes to solving complex health problems, there is no simple
solution.
In conclusion, in my view, giving people who are time-poor greater access to
sports facilities will not be effective and is too simplistic a solution. Other
measures are clearly required, but any action taken to improve public health
requires a change in lifestyle, and this needs the cooperation of everyone
involved.

All done !
 17.3 A positive or a negative development?
A final possible task is one that presents you with a claim about a change that has happened (or is
happening), and asks you to say whether you think that this change is positive or negative. Below, I

have altered our task to give some practice with this:

In some places, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops
and at lower prices than in the past.
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Comments on this task

As with the problems and solutions essay, you might be asked one question or two. So, you may
also be asked ‘What problems might this cause?’ or ‘Why might this be the case?’ Any extra
questions are added for your benefit, to help you get more ideas to write about. NB Be sure to
show the examiner that you have answered each question. Using a separate paragraph for each
one is a good way to be sure of this.
Again, changing this claim into a question helps to pinpoint the main issue. For example: Is it
better or worse that fast food etc is now cheaper and easier to buy?
Again, we can see this as a question that combines two types of argument: cause and effect, and
advantages and disadvantages. You are being asked to discuss the benefits and challenges that a
change is bringing, so your argument can be planned as follows:

Side A – the positive effects of this change

Side B – the problems or negative effects this change is causing (or has caused)

In this way, you will be able to present an argument to support your overall position, which might
be 1) that it is a positive development (because of the advantages it brings / has brought), or 2)
that this is a negative development (because of its disadvantages). As always, I like to begin with
the weaker side of the argument (the one that I disagree with) and finish with the argument that
supports my overall position. As with the advantages and disadvantages essays, the side you feel
is a weaker argument (and that you disagree with) can be seen as the counterargument to your
argument.
If you cannot think of any positive effects of a development, try to visualise or imagine other parts

of the world and how this trend might affect people there – think of much poorer countries or much
richer countries. If this doesn’t help, remember that your perspective and experience will affect
your response, and you can turn this into a key idea in your argument, just remember to make
your perspective clear. For example, if can only think of the negative effects of a development,
then you could write something like this:
 This trend has had such a negative effect in my country that it is impossible to imagine that
it has had a positive effect anywhere else in the world.

Nevertheless, you should not see this as a neat sentence to cut and paste into any essay like this.
The ideas you present must support it. In other words, you would need to prove that the trend or
development has only had negative effects, and you would need to do this without repeating the
same main ideas.

Use the T.P.W.C approach to write a plan for this essay. Aim to T hink and P lan for up to 10 minutes,
W rite for up to 20 minutes, and C heck for up to 10 minutes. When you have finished, compare your
answer to the model answer, you can see both model answers from this lesson by clicking on the
button below.

Practice
The following exercise will help you review and practise the vocabulary from this lesson. After a few
days or weeks, repeat this exercise to see how much you can remember.
 Extra practice
Look carefully at the four model answers in lessons 16 and 17. You can do this in several stages,
focusing on one particular criterion each time. Pay particular attention to the following:
Task response:
Focus on the argument and how I made my position clear. Notice the role that language (both
vocabulary and grammar) play in that. For example, the use of modals, choice of vocabulary etc.

Coherence and cohesion:

Think about the planning and organisation of ideas, and identify the one central idea or topic in each
paragraph. Notice the use of cohesive devices, including: referencing; the use of synonyms to refer
back to a previous idea; the use of connecting words and phrases. The PEEL structure.

Grammatical range:
Notice different points of grammar. For example: nouns and whether they have an article or not; verb
tenses; prepositions; modals; relative clauses; the use of commas.

Lexical resource:
Notice the use of synonyms throughout the essay as well as when it is more natural to occasionally
repeat key words. Look for umbrella terms you can learn (you can review this idea in lesson 10). Make
a note of vocabulary you would like to learn.
Model answer 1

Public health is a growing concern, with many countries reporting

increasing levels of obesity. Some believe the problem can be
addressed by adding more sports facilities, while others think this may
not be enough. A closer look at the problem will help in assessing
these views.

Adding sports facilities would certainly be an attractive idea to some.

However, this proposal assumes that the main reason people are
unhealthy is that they lack access to such facilities. In reality, many
public health issues occur due to a combination of factors, and a lack
of exercise is only one of these. Among other key factors are poor diet,
work stress, and a lack of time to address them. Furthermore,
sophisticated equipment is not essential for getting fit; walking or
running in the streets would also achieve this. Thus, if a lack of
facilities is not responsible for current health problems, simply adding
more will not solve them.

Clearly, other measures are required to improve public health. If

people lack the time to take care of themselves, then we need to find a
way to address this. It may require a change in attitude, and to see
taking time out from the pressures of work as healthy rather than a
sign of laziness or weakness. If more people did this, not only would
work stress be reduced, but they would also have more time to
exercise. The issue of diet could be tackled by persuading people to
cook nutritious meals themselves rather than choosing a faster
alternative. Nevertheless, these solutions will take time and, for those
who cannot reduce their working hours, are likely to be ineffective.
Seemingly, when it comes to solving complex health problems, there is
no simple solution.

In conclusion, in my view, giving people who are time-poor greater

access to sports facilities will not be effective and is too simplistic a
solution. Other measures are clearly required, but any action taken to
improve public health requires a change in lifestyle, and this needs the
cooperation of everyone involved.
Model answer 2

Our diet is becoming increasingly unhealthy. This is reflected in the

fact that cheap, fast food, and sugary drinks are now found in many
shops around the world. However, the low prices and convenience
come at a cost.

Undoubtedly, the easy access to prepared meals and canned drinks

has some advantages. Firstly, this type of food is abundant because it
appeals to our taste buds. People would not eat it so often if they did
not enjoy it. The low cost also means that people on a lower income
can afford to feed their families, and it is made even more appealing
because it also saves time in the kitchen. There are also now so many
big businesses based on producing this type of food and drink that
many workers are dependent on the selling or making of it, and this
industry is a key employer of many lower income families. These
advantages show that this development is likely to continue for some
time.

Nevertheless, the negative effects are significant. The low cost of fast
food means that it has become more of a staple diet for many people.
It is widely acknowledged that processed and sugary foods are
unhealthy, so their widespread consumption is concerning. Such food
contains many additives, offers little nutrition, and is largely seen as
responsible for the growing obesity problems around the world. In
addition, there are links to diabetes, all of which affects the economy
as well as putting pressure on the healthcare system. Ultimately, the
problems associated with this type of food have an impact on
everyone.

In conclusion, the availability, convenience, and appeal of this type of

food mean that it is likely to be here to stay. Nevertheless, the long-
term health effects show that, on the whole, this is a negative
development. Finding a way to increase the cost would go some way
to solving this.
Fill inthe gaps below with a word or phrase in the model answers from
this lesson. NB To improve your collocation, you will need to include
any prepositions or other necessary words.
Model 1
1. = to not have the opportunity or possibility to use something

2. = buildings and equipment built for a special purpose

3. = a mixture of causes

4. = regularly eating food of low quality

5. = an unwillingness to work or put in any effort

6. = healthy (of food); containing healthy ingredients

7. = not having enough time to do things

8. = the general health of people in the community; a country’s system for

taking care of medical problems
9. = working together to achieve something

Model 2
10. = drinks containing lots of sugar

11. = more than enough

12. =people who earn or have little money are said to be this

13. = needing the support of something to be able to continue

14. = the main food/s eaten by a person or in a country

15. = chemicals added to food and drink (often to preserve or to add taste)

16. = the science of food and how what we eat affects us

Show answers
Fill inthe gaps below with a word or phrase in the model answers from
this lesson. NB To improve your collocation, you will need to include
any prepositions or other necessary words.
Model 1
1. = to not have the opportunity or possibility to use something

2. = buildings and equipment built for a special purpose

3. = a mixture of causes

4. = regularly eating food of low quality

5. = an unwillingness to work or put in any effort

6. = healthy (of food); containing healthy ingredients

7. = not having enough time to do things

8. = the general health of people in the community; a country’s system for

taking care of medical problems
9. = working together to achieve something

Model 2
10. = drinks containing lots of sugar

11. = more than enough

12. =people who earn or have little money are said to be this

13. = needing the support of something to be able to continue

14. = the main food/s eaten by a person or in a country

15. = chemicals added to food and drink (often to preserve or to add taste)

16. = the science of food and how what we eat affects us

The answer:

Model 1
1. to lack access to / lack access to = to not have the opportunity or possibility
to use something
2. facilities = buildings and equipment built for a special purpose
3. a combination of factors = a mixture of causes
4. poor diet = regularly eating food of low quality
5. laziness = an unwillingness to work or put in any effort
6. nutritious = healthy (of food); containing healthy ingredients
7. time-poor = not having enough time to do things
8. public health = the general health of people in the community; a country’s
system for taking care of medical problems
9. cooperation = working together to achieve something

Model 2
10. sugary drinks = drinks containing lots of sugar
11. abundant = more than enough
12. on a lower income / on a low income =people who earn or have little
money are said to be this
13. dependent on = needing the support of something to be able to continue
14. staple diet = the main food/s eaten by a person or in a country
15. additives = chemicals added to food and drink (often to preserve or to add
taste)
16. nutrition = the science of food and how what we eat affects us

All done !
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 18 - GUIDED TEST PRACTICE 6
tuankhoi0811@[Link]
View Profile
Academic writing task 4: Dealing with more abstract topics
Table of Contents

Use styling
Lesson 12 Addressing band 6 problems

In this lesson, you will learn about:

Lesson 13 Guided Test Practice 1 Font size: 1em /

Lesson 14 Guided Test 18.1

PracticeM 3ore abstract
& Review of introductions topics
Auto-adjust line
18.2 6 My
Lesson 15 Addressing Band model
Problems
height
Lesson 16 Guided Test 1Practice
8.3 M 4ore abstract
AC Task 2: To What theme s
Sync with server
16.1 Timing

16.2 Making your position clear throughout

Toggle fullscreen view
16.3 Problems and solutions tasks Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS
Page view
Lesson 17 Guided Test Practice 5 AC Task 3: More

17.1 Thinking and planning Scroll

17.2 The language of cause and effect

Page animation
17.3 A positive or a negative development?

Lesson 18 Guided Test Practice 6, AC Task 4: More Logout

Lesson 19 Overview and Review

 18.1 More abstract topics
This test question provides an opportunity to cover one final point about thinking and planning – dealing
with more abstract topics and themes. The question can be found on page 102 of Cambridge IELTS 9.

Every year, several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because
life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Comments on the task

This question contains a high-level phrasal verb: ‘to die out’. To make sure that even lower levels
can answer, the question provides help with the meaning by telling us that that this means there
‘

are fewer languages in the world’ . Remember, if you are worried that the task contains language
you do not know, always look for the help within the question.

The question begins with a fact: Every year, several languages die out’ . This sets the context for
‘

the argument made in the second sentence but also gives you key information for your essay.
Although you do not need to discuss or debate this fact, you should not ignore it – it should be the
context for all the ideas in your essay. Many of the essays I see based on this question assume
that this task is about the English language, and often misinterpret the argument being made as:
‘Everyone in the world should speak English’ or ‘Everyone in the world should speak the same
language ’. As a result, they lower their Task response score by not addressing the issue raised in
the question.

The focus here is a little more difficult to identify. Look at the question again, who or what do you
think you should you focus on in your answer? (You’ll see the answer in the next bullet point).

As we have seen, it is helpful to turn the statement in the task into a question. In this case, we
could see this as two separate questions:

1) Is it important that languages are dying out every year?

2) Does having fewer languages make life easier?

To answer these questions, we will need to discuss the impact that the loss of languages has.
Clearly, it will affect the people whose language is dying out. However, the opinion in the question
is about the impact this has on the world in general: life will be easier (for everyone) if there are
‘

fewer languages in the world ’. Therefore, the focus in this question is on both one specific group
(the people losing their language) and the world at large (everyone else).
 The ideas you have for this task are more likely to be based on abstract themes. Concrete themes,
such as money, food , or socializing , are often easier to write or talk about. More abstract ideas,
such as ‘life’, ‘society’, and ‘culture’ are more difficult to discuss, which adds another level of
difficulty to this task. If you have an abstract topic, visualisation techniques can help you to see
more concrete ideas within the topic that then will help you to write about it. The practice exercise
below will help with this.

The question tells us that, Some people think that (the loss of languages) is not important’ . In
‘

other words, we are being told about an attitude or reaction to something, and we will need to
discuss this attitude in our essay. We are also told these people think that life will be easier
‘ ’

without these languages, so they are also commenting on the effect or impact that this will have.
Thus, again, we need to consider cause and effect in this essay.

Practice
Visualisation
Visualisation is very helpful for getting ideas. It can help you to see more concrete ideas within an
abstract topic, which will then make the topic easier to write about. Some people can visualise easily,
while others cannot. Use these exercises to check how good your visualising skills are, or to practise if

you find it difficult. Before you begin, try to find a place where you can sit comfortably and without any
distractions: turn off the television or radio, and make sure you are alone.
1) Find an object you can easily pick up. It can be just an ordinary object, such as an apple, or a
pen. Hold the object in your hands. Look at it carefully for a few moments, then put it down and
close your eyes. Try to picture the object in your mind in as much detail as possible. Do this
regularly with different objects to practise this skill.
2) Close your eyes and think of a favourite memory. It might be a time or an event in the past that
you enjoyed. It could be a celebration, such as a wedding, or just an ordinary meal with family or
friends. Once you have decided on your memory, spend a few moments thinking back to that time.
Try to picture the place, the people, what you did, and what happened.
How clear are the pictures and images in your mind? Can you see the place or the people very
clearly, or are they a little unclear? You might find it helpful to look at photographs before you
begin. Try to think about what happened as well as how it made you feel. If you don’t have a very
good memory, try the same exercise with more recent events. For example, you could picture
something you did this morning, or yesterday. Again, try to practise doing this regularly to improve
this skill.

Using visualisation to help with more abstract topics

In lessons 10 and 11, I suggested you imagine yourself in the situation given in the question. We
thought about what it would be like to travel abroad to learn a language, and then we tried to imagine
the types of advantages and disadvantages this would bring. We did the same when we were writing
about being a celebrity. The following images show how this type of visualisation can be used with all
topics, no matter how abstract they seem.

We can see this in action with a test question from Cambridge IELTS Academic 14. This question is
about music and whether music is a good way of bringing people of all ages together.
As you can see, thinking in a concrete way about the topic, and visualising the situation, can help you
to think more clearly about the question and help to develop ideas for your argument.

Try to apply the same type of thinking to our current test question using the ideas below to help:
Now use the T.P.W.C approach to write a plan for this essay. T hink and P lan for up to 10 minutes, W rite
for up to 20 minutes, and C heck for up to 10 minutes. Keep a record of your time for each stage.
 18.2 My model
My timing for this essay was:

8 mins T hinking and P lanning

15 mins W riting
13 minutes C hecking and editing

Study the plan for my argument before doing the practice exercises based on my model answer:

Practice
Thesis statements
In lesson 16.2, we saw that a thesis statement must reflect your overall argument and make your
position clear. You can read (and listen to) my model answer in the exercise below. When you have
finished, think about my overall argument and position, then try to complete the thesis statement. Click
on 'Show answers' to see my version.
Now complete the following exercises based on the grammar and vocabulary in the model answer.
Hint: In the matching vocabulary exercise, the lines will show as green when you have matched words
correctly, and blue when they are incorrect. Just choose a different answer to make any corrections.
(Image only)
Length
My final essay is 317 words. At the first draft stage, it was 350 words. As with each of my essays,
editing often involves cutting out words or ideas. This is part of making my main points very clear. I
could go further and cut more, but doing this would be less helpful to you, and would likely remove
some of the clearer signposting. The slightly longer versions in this book still represent band 9.

KEY IDEA : Some n ative speakers, and lower-level candidates, say that their essays are often a
little short. If you find that you cannot always write 250 words, then you are probably not planning
enough, or not connecting and explaining your ideas clearly enough, or you may have left out an
important part of the question. At the edit stage, if you find you often need to add in extra words or
extra ideas because your essay is too short, then you are beginning to write too soon.
Read and listen to the model answer for this essay before completing
question 1.

00:00 02:36

Model answer

In some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as societies develop and evolve. Some believe
that this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of such
languages should be cause for concern.

Itis true that many aspects of modern-day life are made easier through sharing a common language. First
and foremost, business transactions are much simpler when the two parties concerned can understand
each other well. Travel problems can also be dealt with much faster when there is mutual understanding.
Thanks to globalization, these types of communication are increasing, and this could be seen as largely
responsible for the disappearance of languages in more remote areas. If people in those areas work in
tourism, or international trade, they must adopt the more widely used languages of the world. Thus, with
each new generation, their native tongue becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire to
make life simpler makes the loss of some languages inevitable.

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is insignificant. Language has a multitude of uses
that go far beyond tourism and business communication. Our native tongue is used to express our
deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more difficult to convey when using a second language.
Language also plays an important part in our culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a
language is lost, part of the community and culture also disappears. This must be an enormous loss for
the people concerned.

In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of business, and makes
transactions easier, I completely disagree with the view that the continued loss of languages is
unimportant. The variety of native languages and cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and any
loss of this kind should not be dismissed lightly. (317 words)

QUESTION 1
Think about the overall argument and position in this essay, then
complete the thesis statement below using the following words and
phrases (NB they are not in the correct order):
- benefits
- disadvantages
- language extinction

Thesis statement:

This essay will discuss whether the loss of such languages should be
cause for concern and argue that ...

Show answers
Read and listen to the model answer for this essay before completing
question 1.

00:00 02:36

Model answer

In some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as societies develop and evolve. Some believe
that this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of such
languages should be cause for concern.

Itis true that many aspects of modern-day life are made easier through sharing a common language. First
and foremost, business transactions are much simpler when the two parties concerned can understand
each other well. Travel problems can also be dealt with much faster when there is mutual understanding.
Thanks to globalization, these types of communication are increasing, and this could be seen as largely
responsible for the disappearance of languages in more remote areas. If people in those areas work in
tourism, or international trade, they must adopt the more widely used languages of the world. Thus, with
each new generation, their native tongue becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire to
make life simpler makes the loss of some languages inevitable.

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is insignificant. Language has a multitude of uses
that go far beyond tourism and business communication. Our native tongue is used to express our
deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more difficult to convey when using a second language.
Language also plays an important part in our culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a
language is lost, part of the community and culture also disappears. This must be an enormous loss for
the people concerned.

In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of business, and makes
transactions easier, I completely disagree with the view that the continued loss of languages is
unimportant. The variety of native languages and cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and any
loss of this kind should not be dismissed lightly. (317 words)

QUESTION 1
Think about the overall argument and position in this essay, then
complete the thesis statement below using the following words and
phrases (NB they are not in the correct order):

- benefits
- disadvantages
- language extinction

Thesis statement:

This essay will discuss whether the loss of such languages should be
cause for concern and argue that ...
Thesis statement:
This essay will discuss whether the loss of such languages should be cause
for concern, and argue that language extinction has more disadvantages than
benefits.

All done !
QUESTION 1

Without listening, fill in the gaps in the essay (1 - 15) using the words
in brackets. You will need to change the tense of the verbs (thinking
carefully about verb / subject agreement) and you may also need to
add modal verbs and auxiliary verbs.

Your answers may sometimes be different to those in my model

answer and I have allowed for this in the answers. When you have
finished, listen to the model and compare your answers to mine, then
click on 'Show answers' to see alternative answers and my comments.

00:00 02:36

In some parts of the world, native languages 1) (lose) as societies 2)

(develop) and 3) (evolve). Some believe that

this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of such
languages should be cause for concern.

It is true that many aspects of modern-day life 4) (make) easier through

sharing a common language. First and foremost, business transactions are much simpler when the two
parties concerned can understand each other well. Travel problems can also 5)
(deal) with much faster when there is mutual understanding. Thanks to

globalization, these types of communication 6) (increase), and this 7)

(see) as largely responsible for the disappearance of languages in more

remote areas. If people in those areas 8) (work) in tourism, or international

trade, they 9) (adopt) the more widely used languages of the world. Thus,
with each new generation, their native tongue becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire
to make life simpler makes the loss of some languages inevitable.

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is insignificant. Language has a multitude of uses
that go far beyond tourism and business communication. Our mother tongue 10)
(use) to express our deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more

difficult to convey when using a second language. Language also 11) (play)
an important part in our culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a language is lost, part
of the community and culture also 12) (disappear). This must be an
enormous loss for the people concerned.
In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages 13) (benefit) the

world of business, and 14) (make) transactions easier, I completely disagree

with the view that the continued loss of languages is unimportant. The variety of native languages and
cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and any loss of this kind 15)
(not dismiss) lightly.

QUESTION 2
Connect the definitions on the left with the correct words and phrases
from the essay on the right.

a reason to be worried to adopt

understanding each other inevitable

places that are far away mutual understanding

to accept or start to use something new to dismiss

the language you learn from birth a multitude

cannot be avoided a transaction

a very large number (of people or

a cause for concern
things)

to communicate or express more remote areas

bringing people together to convey

the act of buying or selling something uniting

unimportant or
not important
insignificant

to treat (a topic) as unimportant or not

your mother tongue
worth considering

QUESTION 3

Now practise using the words and phrases correctly by filling in the
blanks in the essay.
In some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as societies develop and evolve. Some believe
that this is and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether

the loss of such languages should be .

It is true that many aspects of modern-day life are made easier through sharing a common language. First
and foremost, business are much simpler when the two parties concerned
can understand each other well. Travel problems can also be dealt with much faster when there is

. Thanks to globalization, these types of communication are increasing, and

this could be seen as largely responsible for the disappearance of languages in
. If people in those areas work in tourism, or international trade, they must

the more widely used languages of the world. Thus, with each new

generation, their becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire

to make life simpler makes the loss of some languages .

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is . Language has

of uses that go far beyond tourism and business communication. Our

is used to express our deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more

difficult to when using a second language. Language also plays an

important part in our culture and identity, us as a community. Thus, when a

language is lost, part of the community and culture also disappears. This must be an enormous loss for
the people concerned.

In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of business, and makes
easier, I completely disagree with the view that the continued loss of

languages is . The variety of native languages and cultures is what makes

the world a richer place, and any loss of this kind should not be dismissed lightly.

Show answers
QUESTION 1

Without listening, fill in the gaps in the essay (1 - 15) using the words
in brackets. You will need to change the tense of the verbs (thinking
carefully about verb / subject agreement) and you may also need to
add modal verbs and auxiliary verbs.

Your answers may sometimes be different to those in my model

answer and I have allowed for this in the answers. When you have
finished, listen to the model and compare your answers to mine, then
click on 'Show answers' to see alternative answers and my comments.

00:00 02:36

In some parts of the world, native languages 1) (lose) as societies 2)

(develop) and 3) (evolve). Some believe that

this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of such
languages should be cause for concern.

It is true that many aspects of modern-day life 4) (make) easier through

sharing a common language. First and foremost, business transactions are much simpler when the two
parties concerned can understand each other well. Travel problems can also 5)
(deal) with much faster when there is mutual understanding. Thanks to

globalization, these types of communication 6) (increase), and this 7)

(see) as largely responsible for the disappearance of languages in more

remote areas. If people in those areas 8) (work) in tourism, or international

trade, they 9) (adopt) the more widely used languages of the world. Thus,
with each new generation, their native tongue becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire
to make life simpler makes the loss of some languages inevitable.

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is insignificant. Language has a multitude of uses
that go far beyond tourism and business communication. Our mother tongue 10)
(use) to express our deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more

difficult to convey when using a second language. Language also 11) (play)
an important part in our culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a language is lost, part
of the community and culture also 12) (disappear). This must be an
enormous loss for the people concerned.
In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages 13) (benefit) the

world of business, and 14) (make) transactions easier, I completely disagree

with the view that the continued loss of languages is unimportant. The variety of native languages and
cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and any loss of this kind 15)
(not dismiss) lightly.

The answer:

In some parts of the world, native languages 1) are being lost (lose) as
societies 2) develop (develop) and 3) evolve (evolve). Some believe that this
is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss
whether the loss of such languages should be cause for concern.

It true that many aspects of modern-day life 4) is made (make) easier

is
through sharing a common language. First and foremost, business
transactions are much simpler when the two parties concerned can
understand each other well. Travel problems can also 5) be dealt (deal) with
much faster when there is mutual understanding. Thanks to globalization,
these types of communication 6) are increasing (increase), and this 7) could
be seen (see) as largely responsible for the disappearance of languages in
more remote areas. If people in those areas 8) work (work) in tourism, or
international trade, they 9) must adopt / have to adopt / need to adopt (adopt)
the more widely used languages of the world. Thus, with each new
generation, their native tongue becomes both less useful and less used.
Sadly, the desire to make life simpler makes the loss of some languages
inevitable.

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is insignificant.

Language has a multitude of uses that go far beyond tourism and business
communication. Our mother tongue 10) is used (use) to express our deepest
feelings and emotions, which are much more difficult to convey when using a
second language. Language also 11) plays (play) an important part in our
culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a language is lost,
part of the community and culture also 12) disappears (disappear). This must
be an enormous loss for the people concerned.

In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages 13) benefits / would
benefit (benefit) the world of business, and 14) makes / would make / make
(make) transactions easier, I completely disagree with the view that the
continued loss of languages is unimportant. The variety of native languages
and cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and any loss of this kind
15) must not be dismissed / should not be dismissed / cannot be dismissed
(not dismiss) lightly.
 With number 14, the different options depend upon the tense used in question
13. The sentences would read as follows:
1) In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world
of business, and makes transactions easier... (in this sentence, these are
facts that I accept to be true)
2) In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages would benefit the
world of business, and (would) make transactions easier... (here, the first
action as less likely to happen though the result of it is definite)

With number 15, the 3 possible answers show slightly different strengths:
1) 'must not be dismissed lightly' and 'cannot be dismissed lightly' are a little
stronger than 'should not be dismissed lightly'

QUESTION 2
Connect the definitions on the left with the correct words and phrases
from the essay on the right.

a reason to be worried to adopt

understanding each other inevitable

places that are far away mutual understanding

to accept or start to use something new to dismiss

the language you learn from birth a multitude

cannot be avoided a transaction

a very large number (of people or

a cause for concern
things)

to communicate or express more remote areas

bringing people together to convey

the act of buying or selling something uniting

unimportant or
not important
insignificant

to treat (a topic) as unimportant or not

your mother tongue
worth considering
QUESTION 3

Now practise using the words and phrases correctly by filling in the
blanks in the essay.
In some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as societies develop and evolve. Some believe
that this is and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether

the loss of such languages should be .

It is true that many aspects of modern-day life are made easier through sharing a common language. First
and foremost, business are much simpler when the two parties concerned
can understand each other well. Travel problems can also be dealt with much faster when there is

. Thanks to globalization, these types of communication are increasing, and

this could be seen as largely responsible for the disappearance of languages in
. If people in those areas work in tourism, or international trade, they must

the more widely used languages of the world. Thus, with each new

generation, their becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire

to make life simpler makes the loss of some languages .

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is . Language has

of uses that go far beyond tourism and business communication. Our

is used to express our deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more

difficult to when using a second language. Language also plays an

important part in our culture and identity, us as a community. Thus, when a

language is lost, part of the community and culture also disappears. This must be an enormous loss for
the people concerned.

In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of business, and makes
easier, I completely disagree with the view that the continued loss of

languages is . The variety of native languages and cultures is what makes

the world a richer place, and any loss of this kind should not be dismissed lightly.
The answer:

In some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as societies
develop and evolve. Some believe that this is unimportant and even see it as
an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of such languages
should be cause for concern .

It true that many aspects of modern-day life are made easier through
is
sharing a common language. First and foremost, business transactions are
much simpler when the two parties concerned can understand each other
well. Travel problems can also be dealt with much faster when there is mutual
understanding . Thanks to globalization, these types of communication are
increasing, and this could be seen as largely responsible for the
disappearance of languages in more remote areas . If people in those areas
work in tourism, or international trade, they must adopt the more widely used
languages of the world. Thus, with each new generation, their native tongue /
mother tongue becomes both less useful and less used. Sadly, the desire to
make life simpler makes the loss of some languages inevitable .

Nevertheless, this inevitability does not mean the loss is insignificant .

Language has a multitude of uses that go far beyond tourism and business
communication. Our mother tongue / native tongue is used to express our
deepest feelings and emotions, which are much more difficult to convey when
using a second language. Language also plays an important part in our
culture and identity, uniting us as a community. Thus, when a language is lost,
part of the community and culture also disappears. This must be an enormous
loss for the people concerned.

In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of
business, and makes transactions easier, I completely disagree with the view
that the continued loss of languages is unimportant / insignificant . The variety
of native languages and cultures is what makes the world a richer place, and
any loss of this kind should not be dismissed lightly.

All done !
 18.3 More abstract themes
The next writing task is a variation on the task we saw in lesson 11. You may be able to adapt some of
your ideas and the language you learned in that lesson, so review it now to help.
Read the question carefully. Identify the key issue and any important words and phrases that indicate
the argument being made.

Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be
allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such
as smoking.
Do you agree or disagree?

Comments on this task

The key words and phrases in this task are, should only be allowed and should not encourage’
‘ ’ ‘ .

These phrases tell you the argument being made in the question, which you need to be sure to
respond to in your answer.

This question demonstrates the need to read carefully before you start. If you read it too quickly,
you might decide that the main topic here is healthy and unhealthy food and drink. However,
again, turning the statement into a question can help to identify the argument being made: Should
celebrities be allowed to advertise unhealthy food and drink or to encourage unhealthy behaviour
(e.g. smoking)? Thus, essentially, you are being asked to discuss whether or not you agree that
limits should be imposed on what celebrities can do because of the influence that they
'

have on young people'.

This essay involves discussing more abstract themes or ideas such as, the influence of celebrities,
personal freedom, responsibility, making choices, showing good judgement and bad judgement .
Again, themes like this can be difficult to write about in a clear way, so think carefully about the
ideas you have in your plan, and use visualisation to try to get ideas:
Spend no more than 10 minutes writing a plan for this essay, then compare your plan to mine below.

My plan:
Spend 20 minutes writing this essay using either your plan or my plan. Spend 10 minutes checking your
answer, and then compare it to my model essay in the next exercise.

Practice
Read my model answer and make a note of any of the language used to talk about more abstract
themes. Be sure to practise using these yourself in your timed essay practice.
Now try to match the vocabulary from the essay with the correct definition - click on any matching pairs
you can see to match them (you can see an example in the image below).
(Image only)

Now you try:

Extra practice

Writing about more abstract topics is difficult. Make a note of any ideas that you struggle to
explain, or you can’t find the words for, then be sure to study the relevant vocabulary so that you
can be more flexible in your writing. Study the vocabulary from the model answers in this lesson.
Pay particular attention to the words used to express more abstract ideas.

Look back over some of the essays you wrote in lessons 10 to 18 and focus on the tenses you
used. Look for problems in verb / subject agreement (particularly when using the simple present).
Think about whether the tenses you used are accurate. Make sure that you don’t overuse the
passive.

Look at the tenses used in the model essays in this book and think about the tenses used and the
effect the tense has on the meaning, and how the tense can help to make the position clear. Do
some study of tenses if you feel unsure. Raymond Murphy’s English Grammar in Use is an
excellent resource for this.
 Lesson 18 Model answer 2

Read the model answer for this essay before completing the vocabulary
matching exercise.
Model answer 2

Young people look up to celebrities and can be easily influenced by them. Because of this, some people
believe that there should be restrictions on what celebrities can advertise, or on how they behave. In my
view, this seems a little unreasonable.

It is true that celebrities have a lot of influence. Brands pay them large sums of money to use their products
in the knowledge that this will increase sales. These companies know that young people in particular want
to copy their heroes. However, not all of these businesses offer healthy choices. Thus, famous people also
sometimes promote less desirable behaviour. As a society, we need young people to follow good role
models, and so celebrities need to understand that accepting money from advertising means that they are
acting in this capacity. Therefore, the famous need to be aware of their role in society and make good
choices based on this.

Nevertheless, the proposal to restrict celebrities in some way may go too far. While they should behave
responsibly when in the public eye, they should also be allowed the freedom to make their own decisions.
Furthermore, if we believe that young people will always copy the behaviour of others, even when this is
unwise, that indicates a different problem: the need for young people to learn how to think for themselves.
Thus, rather than asking celebrities to change their lifestyle, we should teach the young to take
responsibility for their life choices.

In conclusion, I can only partly agree with this view. Although celebrities should not promote unhealthy
behaviour, I believe they have the right to choose for themselves how they earn money or spend their free
time. It is far more important to teach young people to show their own good judgment than to limit the
freedom of others. (302)
 Lesson 18 Vocabulary matching

holding a to have an
particular acting in this (to be) in the effect on
unwise
position or capacity public eye someone or
role something

to
admire or encourage
to influence look up to to promote
respect (or
advertise)

stupid
(decision or (have) the
(to be) seen behaviour); ability to
your lifestyle limits
in the media likely to make good
cause decisions
problems

(show) good the way you less

unwanted restrictions
judgment live desirable
 Lesson 18 Vocabulary matching

holding a to have an
particular acting in this (to be) in the effect on
unwise
position or capacity public eye someone or
role something

admire or to encourage
to influence look up to to promote
respect (or advertise)

Congratulations! stupid
(decision or (have) the
(to be) seen behaviour); ability to
your lifestyle limits
in the media likely to make good
cause decisions
problems

(show) good the way you less

unwanted restrictions
judgment live desirable
 The Key to IELTS Writing

Task 2 second edition

Pauline Cullen Khoi Doan
LESSON 19 - OVERVIEW AND REVIEW tuankhoi0811@[Link]
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Table of Contents

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Lesson 15 Addressing Band 6 Problems

In this lesson, you will learn about:

Lesson 16 Guided Test Practice 4 AC Task 2: To What
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16.1 Timing 19.1 Planning - an overview of the approach to each question

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19.2clear
16.2 Making your position Timed test
throughout practice advice height
1 9.3 Reviewing
16.3 Problems and solutions tasks your own writing
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Lesson 17 Guided Test Practice 5 AC Task 3: More

17.1 Thinking and planning

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17.2 The language of cause and effect Pauline Cullen's Key to IELTS
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17.3 A positive or a negative development?

Lesson 18 Guided Test Practice 6, AC Task 4: More Scroll

18.1 More abstract topics

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18.2 My Model

18.3 More abstract themes

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Lesson 19 Overview and Review

 19.1 Planning - an overview of the approach to each question
As we have seen, to form a valid argument, you need to gather evidence and then think about what this
evidence shows. We have also seen that inventing this evidence is not a good idea. We can apply this
idea to the writing tasks and answers we have worked on so far. Using these essays as our evidence,
we can reach the following logical conclusion about writing task 2:

In Task 2, the type or style of question being asked can vary in several ways, but there are
some constants you need to keep in mind to ensure that you to get the best score that you
can.

These variables and constants can be summed up in this way:

This table shows that it is important to identify the focus, topic, and issue in each task. You should see
these as a stimulus that you need to respond to.

Deliberate practice
In my free book, The Key to IELTS Success , I explained the concept of deliberate practice. This is key
to developing any type of skill, including the skills of thinking and planning. A good warm up activity for
any writing practice is to spend a few moments looking through different tasks in the Cambridge IELTS
Test Practice books (NB Use books 9 onwards), and identifying the focus, topic, and issue (or
argument) in each task. Try to do this often and as quickly as possible.

Varying your practice

Be sure to practise with as wide a variety of tasks as possible. Notice that this variety is determined by
all of the different variables within the task and not by the question ‘type’ (or style) alone. To ensure that
your practice is as varied as possible, make sure to work on tasks that focus on:

people in general
specific groups of people (tourists / language learners / young people / the elderly)
more abstract things (e.g. business / society / culture etc.)

I have tried to vary these as much as possible in the timed test practice questions in Lesson 20.

KEY IDEA : Many people organise their practice and approach to a question according to the
question 'type' or style. However, this is only one variable in the task – each of the other elements
(focus, topic, issue etc.) are just as important and must be taken into account when it comes to
your thinking and planning. NB There is no magical ‘formula’ for each question ‘type’.

Thinking strategies to use in your test

1) When you see a new test question, begin by processing it and organising it into: 1) the focus, 2)
the topic, 3) the issue, and 4) the task. This helps break the question down into more manageable
parts. Instead of panicking, you are taking control of the task.
2) Identify themes within the statement you are given, or themes related to the issue. This will give
you a logical starting point for your brainstorming and will help organise your paragraphs logically.
3) Use your visualisation skills to think about the issue and its impact. Begin by thinking small (the
personal impact) and finish by thinking about the bigger impact this issue has. This will help you to think
of more general ideas, which become your conclusions or the main points you want to make.
 KEY IDEA : Thinking about the impact the issue in the question has on your country as a whole or
on the world will help you to think of more general (less personal) ideas. These general ideas will
then help you to form your conclusions or the main points you want to make in your argument.
Remember, these main points must be supported and made clear in your essay to score band 7 or
above.

Ifyour task focuses on something other than people, then you can adapt this idea. For example, if the
focus is on businesses:

Or, if the focus is something like ‘animals’, your smaller thinking would begin with animals within cities,
move on to animals in their wider habitat, and then finally think of nature as a whole.

Planning strategies to use in your test

1) Spend up to 10 minutes thinking and planning – remember, this is a good investment of your time
and is an essential part of the writing process.
2) Organise the ideas you have based on your themes – use these as headings. Get more evidence
and reach general conclusions about the ideas you have by visualising the situation and asking
questions like this:

Who or What does this affect?

How? (What is the effect or impact?)
How do I know this?
What does this show or mean? (What lesson can we all learn from this?)

If you are writing about problems and solutions, think about:

What needs to change? Why?

What effect will or would this have?
How do you know? How sure are you?

3) Think of umbrella or general terms that are used to refer to smaller, more personal ideas you
have. Remember, these general ideas show your conclusions and so they help to make your
conclusions and your main ideas clear throughout.
For example:
 Personal: ‘I lost my job’ ⇒ General: There can be unemployment problems .
Personal: ‘I wouldn’t have enough money’ ⇒ General: There may be financial issues .

4) Look back at the question to check you haven’t missed anything out in your planning. Have a clear
idea of your response, your position, your argument, and the main ideas within each paragraph before
you start to write.

KEY IDEA : Beginning to write too soon is the most common problem I see and almost always
results in band 6.5 writing, even from native speakers.

Writing strategies to use in your test

1) Keep in mind that your careful planning will make this step easier. You still have plenty of time.
2) Follow your plan. Make changes as you write only if a better way to express an idea occurs to you.
3) Write in a natural way. Imagine you are writing to a colleague, and that it is very important that
your colleague understands your opinion and follows your argument. You don’t need to impress this
colleague with any fancy vocabulary, you just need them to understand.
4) Be aware of the PEEL structure as you write your body paragraphs. In particular, make sure your
first sentence briefly gives the main topic, and your final sentence shows how this paragraph is relevant
(or linked) to the question. Don't invent examples and don't finish with an example.

Checking strategies to use in your test

1) Read the question again then read through your whole answer. Did you answer the question? Is
your position clear? Are any parts a little unclear still? Make the ideas as clear as you can – making
them simpler is usually the best way to do this. (E.g. by dividing one long sentence into two shorter
ones, or by making a passive sentence active.)
2) Read through your essay again. Try to hear the words in your mind as you read. Look out for
repetition, but don’t worry too much if these are key words from the topic. Do make changes if you use
the same words within one or two sentences. To fix this, find a synonym or use a pronoun to refer back,
like these examples from my own writing practice:
 Replacing a repeated word with a synonym
Before:
• Thus, when a language is lost , its community and culture is also lost . This must be
an enormous loss for the people concerned.
After:
• Thus, when a language is lost , part of the community and culture also disappears .

This must be an enormous loss for the people concerned.

Cutting or removing words

Before:
•In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages in the world benefits the
world of business…
After:
•In conclusion, while it is true that having fewer languages benefits the world of
business…

3) Don’t add more (e.g. more vocabulary, more examples, more ideas). In your practice, if your
essays are too short, and you often need to try to add more, then review the key ideas about planning –
this is a clear sign you are not planning enough, or possibly not connecting your ideas clearly enough,
or not explaining them clearly enough.
4) Finally, with any extra time, look for slips or errors such as: verb / subject agreement (especially in
the simple present); singular or plural nouns; missed prepositions; spelling mistakes that you often
make.
 19.2 Timed test practice advice
By now, you may feel confident enough in your planning to stop using the planner. If you would like to
use the planner approach in your timed test practice and in your test, this is a quick sketch version that
has all of the key components of the planner:

Practise sketching it often as well as each time you start a new essay so that the moves become
automatic to you.
General tips
• Make sure that you only do timed test practice when you know you will not be interrupted. Don’t try to
write when you are tired – you should be as well-rested as possible both for your practice and for the
real test.

• The more often you practise thinking and planning for up to 10 minutes, and writing for up to 20
minutes, the more confident you will be in your ability to do this in the test. Believing you can do it goes
a very long way to helping you stay focused and disciplined in the test.

• Ifyou run into a problem in an essay, stop, take a break, and start again. Later, try to think about what
happened and why. Did you fall back on old habits? Was there a key thinking strategy that you forgot to
use? Try to see this in a positive way – making mistakes like this during your practice helps you to
anticipate possible problems and deal with them before your test.

• Try to notice which tasks cause you more problems so that you can do more practice in these areas.
For example, if you find you struggle to write about a particular topic, make sure to do some general
reading about it. You could do a Google search for the topic ‘+ news’ to see what people think about
this topic. If you struggle when it comes to expressing ideas, make sure to study vocabulary related to
the topic. My IELTS vocabulary books can help with this.

• at all possible, work with a test buddy. Even chatting about the writing process and the difficulties
If

you have had will help. Discussing your ideas and explaining your argument will be even more
beneficial.
 19.3 Reviewing your own writing
KEY IDEA : It isn’t enough to read this book – you need to apply all of the ideas regularly in your
practice to be sure that your writing (and your score) improves. Reviewing your writing often will
help to check you are actually applying the ideas.

Make sure that you review any writing you produce during your practice. The following ideas will help
you to review the different parts of your essay – work with a test buddy if you can. If your answer to
any of the questions is 'No,' then this is a sign you need to work on your essay writing skills some more.
Don't forget to review these ideas in previous lessons - use the interactive exercises to help you with
this.

Reviewing an introduction

Did you begin with a general statement to introduce the topic or context of the essay?
Did you summarise the main issue to be discussed in your own words?
Did you include a brief thesis statement that summarises your overall position (if
preferred)?
Could you recreate the test question from your introduction?

Reviewing body paragraphs

Can you identify the point or argument being made? (is it clear?)
Are the ideas relevant to this essay question?
Are the conclusions (i.e. your main ideas or points) clear?
Are the conclusions repetitive? (i.e. do you repeat the same main ideas?)
Is there supporting evidence for your ideas?
Did you make your position clear? Is it clear throughout?
Is there one clear topic?
Is the link or relevance to the question clear?

Reviewing your Conclusion

Does your conclusion:

summarise the main ideas in your argument?

answer the question?
make your overall position clear?

Is your conclusion long enough (at least 2 sentences)?

Did you include extra themes or ideas that are not discussed or explained in your essay?
Assessing your score
To help you assess your score, use the following checklist - the more boxes you can tick, the closer you
are to band 7.
KEY IDEA : Remember, don’t try to ‘boost’ your score with long complex sentences or high-level
vocabulary. Write clearly and naturally.

Extra practice
Review the key points made in lessons 3 to 9 as well as any of exercises in these lessons. Can
you now improve any of your earlier answers?
Review the model answers in this book. Try to vary the way that you use them and return to them
again and again if possible – you will notice something new each time. Try not to look at the
models for lesson 20 until after you have completed those essays.
Use the ideas below will help you exploit the models in this book:

Using model answers

Task response :

Focus on the argument and how I made my position clear. Notice the role that language (both
vocabulary and grammar) play in that. For example, the use of modals, hedging language,
choice of vocabulary etc. Trace the main ideas in my argument. Find the supporting evidence
or explanation for these ideas. Try to identify my conclusions and my claims, and notice when I

need to explain these.

Coherence and cohesion :

Think about the organisation of ideas and the one central idea or topic in each paragraph.
Notice the use of cohesive devices, including: referencing; the use of synonyms to refer back to
a previous idea; the use of connecting words and phrases. Pay close attention to the PEEL
structure. Notice that the final sentence in the body paragraphs have two clear functions:
1) to conclude the paragraph (‘this is what I just showed…’)
2) to make the relevance or link to the question clear ( …‘and why this is relevant’).

Grammatical range :

Notice different points of grammar each time you read a model essay. For example: nouns and
whether they have an article or not; verb tenses; prepositions; modals; relative clauses; word
order; the use of commas. Notice also the use of different sentence lengths.

Lexical resource :

Notice the use of synonyms throughout the essay. Many band 6.5 candidates try to showcase
their knowledge of vocabulary related to the topic in the question, but the result is often
unnatural and does not show ‘an awareness of style’ (band 7). In the models, you will see that it

is much more natural (and precise) to occasionally repeat key words.

Make a note of any words and phrases you would like to learn. To review and practise new
language, read a sentence aloud, think about the meaning and the main idea in it, then try to
write it using as many of the original words and phrases as you can recall. Use the practice
exercises in Lesson 20 and review these often.
Task response
addresses all parts of the task
presents a clear position throughout (we know what the writer thinks
about the issue)
presents, extends, and supports main ideas (we know why they
believe this)
the conclusions are clear (there is no confusion for the reader)

Coherence and cohesion

the ideas are organised logically
there is clear progression in the argument
the cohesive devices are used effectively (i.e. as a helpful signpost
for the reader)
there is a range of cohesive devices
there is a clear central topic within each paragraph

Lexical resource
the vocabulary helps to explain the writer’s ideas clearly
the writer used a variety of language (and sometimes repeats key
words)
the writer mainly uses natural vocabulary that they understand well
the style of the language is appropriately formal
the writer only uses high-level vocabulary with an awareness of
collocation and style

Grammatical range and accuracy

there is a variety of grammatical structures
the sentences do not follow a similar pattern and sound repetitive
there are only a few grammatical errors
 LESSON 20 - Timed Test Practice
In this lesson, you can do timed test practice and review
model answers:
20.1 PracticeTests 1 and 2
20.2 P ractice Tests 3 and 4
20 .3 Practice Tests 5 and 6

Complete each essay under exam conditions. Use the T hink- P lan- W rite- C heck approach and the
timing recommended below. When you have finished an essay, put it away and return to it one or two
days later to review it. Use the ideas in lesson 19.3 to help with this. Work with a test buddy if you can.
If you don’t feel satisfied with your response, wait a few days, then repeat the task.

Recommended timing for each essay:

 20.1 Practice Tests 1 and 2

KEY IDEA : As your exam approaches, keep in mind that the examiner wants you to do well – they
want to be able to reward you and give you the highest score that they can. Make their job easier
by communicating your ideas as clearly as you can and showing clear signposting.

In these final lessons, you will find six new writing tasks to help you put the strategies you have learned
into practice. There are also model answers and exercises based on these. If you find any of the
exercises difficult, read through the model answers again several times, then go back to the exercise.
Use these exercises often to help you review key vocabulary and the writing strategies we have been
learning.

KEY IDEA : Complete each essay under exam conditions. Use the T hink- P lan- W rite- C heck
approach. When you have finished an essay, put it away and return to it one or two days later to
review it. Use the ideas in lesson 19.3 to help. Work with a test buddy if you can. If you don’t feel
satisfied with your response, wait a few days, then repeat the task.
Read the model answers only when you are happy with your own response. Remember, there is
no single ‘correct’ answer to any writing task. Your perspective, argument, and views will be
different to mine.

Practice Test 1
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

Some young people like to copy the behaviour and clothes of famous people.
Why might this be the case?
What problems might it cause?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.
Write at least 250 words.
When you have finished your own essay, read my model essay and then complete the exercises on the
next page.

Practice Test 2
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities (for example,
helping at home or at work). Others believe that, outside of school, children should be free to
enjoy life.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.
Write at least 250 words.

When you have finished your own essay, read my model essay and then complete the exercises on the
next page.
 Practice Test 1 Model and Language practice
Read through my model answer and complete the language exercises. When you have finished, make
a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this essay.

Vocabulary practice 1
Can you find the pairs by matching the words and phrases with the correct definition? Tap on the 2
squares you think form a matching pair - they will change to the same colour if you are correct.
Vocabulary practice 2
Now fill in the gaps to practise using the same words and phrases.
 Practice Test 2 Model and Language practice

Read through my model answer and complete the language exercises. When you have finished, make
a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this essay.
 Extra practice
For extra practice, write a new plan and a new answer to any of the questions where you feel you could
make the opposite argument, or where you had to cut many of the ideas in your plan. Review the
language in the model answers at the end of this lesson, and be sure to complete the exercises based
on these.
 Test 1 Model answer

Read the model answer for this essay then complete the vocabulary
tasks.
Test 1 Model answer

Each generation has its own stars and fashion icons. The young often look up to these people and like to copy
their style. This essay will consider the reasons for this and the problems it may cause.

There are several reasons why young people aspire to be like the popular stars of their day. Firstly, this tends
to happen when children are developing into young adults, and becoming more aware of their identity. Some
have an innate sense of their own style, but it takes most young people years to develop this same confidence.
Until then, the desire to fit in is very strong, and so it is not surprising that they try to emulate the stars that both
they and their peers look up to. It is also possible that teenagers want to be different to their parents.
Therefore, copying the famous may be a way for young people to conform as well as to rebel.

Nevertheless, this phenomenon can create problems. The famous like to stand out, and their fashion choices
can be unorthodox. Attempting to dress the same way could cause conflict in the home, especially if the young
people concerned come from a very conservative background. In addition, the famous now tend to be very
active on social media and many document their daily life and activities. If these celebrities make poor choices,
this may mean that young people are encouraged to copy unhealthy behaviour, such as smoking, or following
an extreme diet. Thus, the celebrities teens look up to may not be the best of role models.

In conclusion, wanting to be like their heroes is a normal part of development, and may help teens establish
their own identity. Although their parents may not always approve, thankfully this is something that they
eventually grow out of. (301)

Show answers
 Test 1 Model answer

Read the model answer for this essay then complete the vocabulary
tasks.
Test 1 Model answer

Each generation has its own stars and fashion icons. The young often look up to these people and like to copy
their style. This essay will consider the reasons for this and the problems it may cause.

There are several reasons why young people aspire to be like the popular stars of their day. Firstly, this tends
to happen when children are developing into young adults, and becoming more aware of their identity. Some
have an innate sense of their own style, but it takes most young people years to develop this same confidence.
Until then, the desire to fit in is very strong, and so it is not surprising that they try to emulate the stars that both
they and their peers look up to. It is also possible that teenagers want to be different to their parents.
Therefore, copying the famous may be a way for young people to conform as well as to rebel.

Nevertheless, this phenomenon can create problems. The famous like to stand out, and their fashion choices
can be unorthodox. Attempting to dress the same way could cause conflict in the home, especially if the young
people concerned come from a very conservative background. In addition, the famous now tend to be very
active on social media and many document their daily life and activities. If these celebrities make poor choices,
this may mean that young people are encouraged to copy unhealthy behaviour, such as smoking, or following
an extreme diet. Thus, the celebrities teens look up to may not be the best of role models.

In conclusion, wanting to be like their heroes is a normal part of development, and may help teens establish
their own identity. Although their parents may not always approve, thankfully this is something that they
eventually grow out of. (301)

All done !
 Test 1 Vocabulary practice

to make to fit in; to behave in

your to create
poor to
an acceptable
way / the
peers problems
choices conform
same as
everyone else

to regularly the people in to accept or to approve

comment or your age have a positive (of
post
information on
innate identity group, social
or work
opinion about
someone or something /

Instagram etc. position something someone)

to copy to make to hope different to be

(style,
bad
(or aim) to to what is
noticeable; to
behaviour, for be different to
career) decisions something
admire expected everyone else

to to be very natural;

unorthodox stand
to active on to look something (a
talent or
social
out rebel media
up to quality) you
were born with

who a person
is; the
to act in a
way that does to aspire to
to
qualities that not follow the (to (do) cause
make them accepted emulate something)
different rules conflict
 Test 1 Vocabulary practice

to make to fit in; to behave in

your to create
poor to
an acceptable
way / the
peers problems
choices conform
same as
everyone else

to regularly the people in to accept or to approve

comment or your age have a positive (of
post
information on
innate identity group, social
or work
opinion about
someone or something /

Instagram etc. position something someone)

Congratulations!
to copy
(style,
behaviour,
career)
to make
bad
decisions
to hope
(or aim)
for
something
to
admire
different
to what is
expected
to be
noticeable; to
be different to
everyone else

to to be very natural;

unorthodox stand
to active on to look something (a
talent or
social
out rebel media
up to quality) you
were born with

who a person
is; the
to act in a
way that does to aspire to
to
qualities that not follow the (to (do) cause
make them accepted emulate something)
different rules conflict
Fill in the gaps below with a word or phrase from the model answer.
Each generation has its own stars and fashion icons. The young often look up to these people and like to
copy their style. This essay will consider the reasons for this and the problems it may cause.

There are several reasons why young people aspire to be like the popular stars of their day. Firstly, this tends
to happen when children are developing into young adults, and becoming more aware of their
. Some have an sense of their own style, but it

takes most young people years to develop this same confidence. Until then, the desire to
is very strong, and so it is not surprising that they try to

the stars that both they and

. It is also possible that teenagers want to be different to their parents.

Therefore, copying the famous may be a way for young people to as well as to

Nevertheless, this phenomenon can create problems. The famous like to , and

their fashion choices can be . Attempting to dress the same way could

in the home, especially if the young people concerned

background. In addition, the famous now tend to be very

and many document their daily life and activities. If these celebrities make

, this may mean that young people are encouraged to copy unhealthy
behaviour, such as smoking, or following an extreme diet. Thus, the celebrities teens look up to may not be
the best of role models.

In conclusion, wanting to be like their heroes is a normal part of development, and may help teens establish
their own identity. Although their parents may not always , thankfully this is
something that they eventually grow out of. (301)

Show answers
Fill in the gaps below with a word or phrase from the model answer.
Each generation has its own stars and fashion icons. The young often look up to these people and like to
copy their style. This essay will consider the reasons for this and the problems it may cause.

There are several reasons why young people aspire to be like the popular stars of their day. Firstly, this tends
to happen when children are developing into young adults, and becoming more aware of their
. Some have an sense of their own style, but it

takes most young people years to develop this same confidence. Until then, the desire to
is very strong, and so it is not surprising that they try to

the stars that both they and

. It is also possible that teenagers want to be different to their parents.

Therefore, copying the famous may be a way for young people to as well as to

Nevertheless, this phenomenon can create problems. The famous like to , and

their fashion choices can be . Attempting to dress the same way could

in the home, especially if the young people concerned

background. In addition, the famous now tend to be very

and many document their daily life and activities. If these celebrities make

, this may mean that young people are encouraged to copy unhealthy
behaviour, such as smoking, or following an extreme diet. Thus, the celebrities teens look up to may not be
the best of role models.

In conclusion, wanting to be like their heroes is a normal part of development, and may help teens establish
their own identity. Although their parents may not always , thankfully this is
something that they eventually grow out of. (301)
The answer:

Each generation has its own stars and fashion icons. The young often look up to
these people and like to copy their style. This essay will consider the reasons for
this and the problems it may cause.

There are several reasons why young people aspire to be like the popular stars
of their day. Firstly, this tends to happen when children are developing into
young adults, and becoming more aware of their identity . Some have an innate
sense of their own style, but it takes most young people years to develop this
same confidence. Until then, the desire to fit in is very strong, and so it is not
surprising that they try to emulate the stars that both they and their peers look up
to . It is also possible that teenagers want to be different to their parents.
Therefore, copying the famous may be a way for young people to conform as
well as to rebel .

Nevertheless, this phenomenon can create problems. The famous like to stand
out , and their fashion choices can be unorthodox . Attempting to dress the same
way could cause conflict in the home, especially if the young people concerned
come from a very conservative background. In addition, the famous now tend to
be very active on social media and many document their daily life and activities.
If these celebrities make poor choices , this may mean that young people are
encouraged to copy unhealthy behaviour, such as smoking, or following an
extreme diet. Thus, the celebrities teens look up to may not be the best of role
models.

In conclusion, wanting to be like their heroes is a normal part of development,

and may help teens establish their own identity. Although their parents may not
always approve , thankfully this is something that they eventually grow out of.
(301)

All done !
 My Vocabulary notes

Make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this model.
Read the model answer and then complete the vocabulary exercises.

Model answer
Children are constantly learning and developing. Some people believe
this should include learning how to work and be responsible, while others
disagree. There are pros and cons to both views.

Some children have no responsibilities within the home when their

school day is over. These children learn how to relax from an early age.
As a result, they are more likely to develop into adults who are also very
relaxed about life. However, although this may seem ideal, it is also
possible that, as children, they will become bored and lack self-
discipline. Although some might enjoy spending time outside with their
friends, how many would simply sit watching TV, or playing computer
games? Consequently, as adults, they may be unmotivated or even
irresponsible. Thus, this level of freedom would certainly affect a child’s
development.

In contrast, children who are given responsibility from an early age would
develop in a very different way. Even young children can be given simple
daily chores. In this way, they learn to be responsible for themselves and
not expect others to do things for them. Those who help their parents at
work, for example in a family restaurant or shop, would also surely learn
a great deal about life. Nevertheless, this idea can be taken too far.
Children who are forced to work from a very young age can miss out on
education because of this, and experience many of the stresses of adult
life. Therefore, sensible limits on this type of work are needed.

In my view, there are benefits to both approaches. It is important for all

children to know how to relax and enjoy life, but also to balance this by
being responsible when necessary. In this way, they are more likely to
grow into well-rounded adults with a healthy work-life balance. (300)

QUESTION 1
Match the words from the model answer to the correct definitions on the
left.
 inside to miss out on

perfect well-rounded

a healthy work-life
to be without (something)
balance

the ability to control your own behaviour irresponsible

having no desire to do something ideal

acting without thinking or worrying about

chores
the results

small jobs in the home to lack

using good judgment within

having varied life experience forced

an equal amount of time relaxing and

unmotivated
working

made to do something you don't want to

sensible
do

to not have an opportunity to do or enjoy

self-discipline
something

QUESTION 2
Now fill in the gaps in the essay using the correct words and phrases.
Model answer
Children are constantly learning and developing. Some people believe this should include learning how to
work and be responsible, while others disagree. There are pros and cons to both views.

Some children have no responsibilities the home when their school day is over.
These children learn how to relax from an early age. As a result, they are more likely to develop into adults
who are also very relaxed about life. However, although this may seem , it is

also possible that, as children, they will become bored and

. Although some might enjoy spending time outside with their friends, how many
would simply sit watching TV, or playing computer games? Consequently, as adults, they may be
or even . Thus, this level of freedom would
certainly affect a child’s development.
In contrast, children who are given responsibility from an early age would develop in a very different way.
Even young children can be given simple daily . In this way, they learn to be
responsible for themselves and not expect others to do things for them. Those who help their parents at work,
for example in a family restaurant or shop, would also surely learn a great deal about life. Nevertheless, this
idea can be taken too far. Children who are to work from a very young age can

on education because of this, and experience many of the stresses of adult life.

Therefore, limits on this type of work are needed.

In my view, there are benefits to both approaches. It is important for all children to know how to relax and
enjoy life, but also to balance this by being responsible when necessary. In this way, they are more likely to
grow into adults with .

Show answers
Read the model answer and then complete the vocabulary exercises.

Model answer
Children are constantly learning and developing. Some people believe
this should include learning how to work and be responsible, while others
disagree. There are pros and cons to both views.

Some children have no responsibilities within the home when their

school day is over. These children learn how to relax from an early age.
As a result, they are more likely to develop into adults who are also very
relaxed about life. However, although this may seem ideal, it is also
possible that, as children, they will become bored and lack self-
discipline. Although some might enjoy spending time outside with their
friends, how many would simply sit watching TV, or playing computer
games? Consequently, as adults, they may be unmotivated or even
irresponsible. Thus, this level of freedom would certainly affect a child’s
development.

In contrast, children who are given responsibility from an early age would
develop in a very different way. Even young children can be given simple
daily chores. In this way, they learn to be responsible for themselves and
not expect others to do things for them. Those who help their parents at
work, for example in a family restaurant or shop, would also surely learn
a great deal about life. Nevertheless, this idea can be taken too far.
Children who are forced to work from a very young age can miss out on
education because of this, and experience many of the stresses of adult
life. Therefore, sensible limits on this type of work are needed.

In my view, there are benefits to both approaches. It is important for all

children to know how to relax and enjoy life, but also to balance this by
being responsible when necessary. In this way, they are more likely to
grow into well-rounded adults with a healthy work-life balance. (300)

QUESTION 1
Match the words from the model answer to the correct definitions on the
left.
 inside to miss out on

perfect well-rounded

a healthy work-life
to be without (something)
balance

the ability to control your own behaviour irresponsible

having no desire to do something ideal

acting without thinking or worrying about

chores
the results

small jobs in the home to lack

using good judgment within

having varied life experience forced

an equal amount of time relaxing and

unmotivated
working

made to do something you don't want to

sensible
do

to not have an opportunity to do or enjoy

self-discipline
something

QUESTION 2
Now fill in the gaps in the essay using the correct words and phrases.
Model answer
Children are constantly learning and developing. Some people believe this should include learning how to
work and be responsible, while others disagree. There are pros and cons to both views.

Some children have no responsibilities the home when their school day is over.
These children learn how to relax from an early age. As a result, they are more likely to develop into adults
who are also very relaxed about life. However, although this may seem , it is

also possible that, as children, they will become bored and

. Although some might enjoy spending time outside with their friends, how many
would simply sit watching TV, or playing computer games? Consequently, as adults, they may be
or even . Thus, this level of freedom would
certainly affect a child’s development.
In contrast, children who are given responsibility from an early age would develop in a very different way.
Even young children can be given simple daily . In this way, they learn to be
responsible for themselves and not expect others to do things for them. Those who help their parents at work,
for example in a family restaurant or shop, would also surely learn a great deal about life. Nevertheless, this
idea can be taken too far. Children who are to work from a very young age can

on education because of this, and experience many of the stresses of adult life.

Therefore, limits on this type of work are needed.

In my view, there are benefits to both approaches. It is important for all children to know how to relax and
enjoy life, but also to balance this by being responsible when necessary. In this way, they are more likely to
grow into adults with .

The answer:

Model answer
Children are constantly learning and developing. Some people believe this
should include learning how to work and be responsible, while others disagree.
There are pros and cons to both views.

Some children have no responsibilities within the home when their school day is
over. These children learn how to relax from an early age. As a result, they are
more likely to develop into adults who are also very relaxed about life. However,
although this may seem ideal , it is also possible that, as children, they will
become bored and lack self-discipline . Although some might enjoy spending
time outside with their friends, how many would simply sit watching TV, or
playing computer games? Consequently, as adults, they may be unmotivated or
even irresponsible . Thus, this level of freedom would certainly affect a child’s
development.

In contrast, children who are given responsibility from an early age would
develop in a very different way. Even young children can be given simple daily
chores . In this way, they learn to be responsible for themselves and not expect
others to do things for them. Those who help their parents at work, for example
in a family restaurant or shop, would also surely learn a great deal about life.
Nevertheless, this idea can be taken too far. Children who are forced to work
from a very young age can miss out on education because of this, and
experience many of the stresses of adult life. Therefore, sensible limits on this
type of work are needed.

In my view, there are benefits to both approaches. It is important for all children
to know how to relax and enjoy life, but also to balance this by being responsible
when necessary. In this way, they are more likely to grow into well-rounded
adults with a healthy work-life balance .
All done !
 My Vocabulary notes

Make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this model.
 20.2 Practice Tests 3 and 4
KEY IDEA : Complete each essay under exam conditions. Use the T hink- P lan- W rite- C heck
approach. When you have finished an essay, put it away and return to it one or two days later to
review it. Use the ideas in lesson 19.3 to help. Work with a test buddy if you can. If you don’t feel
satisfied with your response, wait a few days, then repeat the task.
Read the model answers only when you are happy with your own response. Remember, there is
no single ‘correct’ answer to any writing task. Your perspective, argument, and views will be
different to mine.

Practice Test 3
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

Nowadays, sports stars can earn a great deal of money from advertising expensive sporting
goods and other products.
What problems might this cause?
Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.
Write at least 250 words.

When you have finished your own essay, read my model essay and then complete the exercises on the
next page.

Practice Test 4
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for the health. The
government must find a way to reduce this type of stress.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.
Write at least 250 words.

When you have finished your own essay, read my model essay and then complete the exercises on the
next page.
Read the model answer and then complete the vocabulary exercises.

Model answer
Sports and advertising are now very closely linked. In fact, famous sports
stars are often paid huge sums of money to advertise expensive goods.
This can cause problems but also has a positive effect.

Once they reach a certain level, sports teams and individual players are
now offered generous sponsorship deals. This means that they receive
large sums of money in return for advertising a certain brand. They are
given these contracts because of their fans, many of whom are very
young and want to copy them. As the products they endorse tend to be
luxury goods, or expensive sports equipment, this can put pressure on
families to spend money they do not have. Moreover, the most popular
sports are now associated with advertisements for betting and gambling,
and many people are concerned about the impact this has on young
sports fans. Thus, the problems connected to such advertising should
not be overlooked.

On the other hand, there are several positive effects. Firstly, without
advertising, it is unlikely that we would have the level of sport that exists
today. Sponsorships allow modern-day sportsmen and women to focus
on their sport instead of juggling practice with a more traditional job. This
in turn encourages more young people to play sport, and gives those
who are talented enough a chance to turn their passion into a lucrative
career. In fact, there have been several cases in football where children
from very poor areas have transformed their lives thanks to sport.
Therefore, this type of advertising has clear benefits for sport and sports
professionals.

In conclusion, advertising sponsorships have allowed sports people and

sport itself to thrive. Although the type of products that can be advertised
do need regulation, on the whole, I believe this is a positive
development. (294)

QUESTION 1
Match the words from the model answer to the correct definitions on the
left.
 products; things for sale goods

the mark or name of a company to overlook

money given by a company as financial support for

brand
someone

to give your support to; to promote to juggle

to manage several different jobs or things at once regulation

bringing in a lot of money to endorse

to fail to notice or to deliberately ignore (a problem) to thrive

to change something completely (for the better) to transform

to grow and develop in a very successful way sponsorship

the act of controlling something ;an official rule or

lucrative
control

QUESTION 2
Now fill in the gaps in the essay using one word only. NB think about the
tense or form of the verbs.
Model answer

Sports and advertising are now very closely linked. In fact, famous sports stars are often paid huge sums of
money to advertise expensive . This can cause problems but also has a positive
effect.

Once they reach a certain level, sports teams and individual players are now offered generous
deals. This means that they receive large sums of money in return for

advertising a certain . They are given these contracts because of their fans,

many of whom are very young and want to copy them. As the products they
tend to be luxury goods, or expensive sports equipment, this can put pressure on families to spend money
they do not have. Moreover, the most popular sports are now associated with advertisements for betting and
gambling, and many people are concerned about the impact this has on young sports fans. Thus, the
problems connected to such advertising should not be .

On the other hand, there are several positive effects. Firstly, without advertising, it is unlikely that we would
have the level of sport that exists today. Sponsorships allow modern-day sportsmen and women to focus on
their sport instead of practice with a more traditional job. This in turn
encourages more young people to play sport, and gives those who are talented enough a chance to turn their
passion into a career. In fact, there have been several cases in football where
children from very poor areas have their lives thanks to sport. Therefore, this
type of advertising has clear benefits for sport and sports professionals.

In conclusion, advertising sponsorships have allowed sports people and sport itself to
. Although the type of products that can be advertised do need

, on the whole, I believe this is a positive development.

Show answers
Read the model answer and then complete the vocabulary exercises.

Model answer
Sports and advertising are now very closely linked. In fact, famous sports
stars are often paid huge sums of money to advertise expensive goods.
This can cause problems but also has a positive effect.

Once they reach a certain level, sports teams and individual players are
now offered generous sponsorship deals. This means that they receive
large sums of money in return for advertising a certain brand. They are
given these contracts because of their fans, many of whom are very
young and want to copy them. As the products they endorse tend to be
luxury goods, or expensive sports equipment, this can put pressure on
families to spend money they do not have. Moreover, the most popular
sports are now associated with advertisements for betting and gambling,
and many people are concerned about the impact this has on young
sports fans. Thus, the problems connected to such advertising should
not be overlooked.

On the other hand, there are several positive effects. Firstly, without
advertising, it is unlikely that we would have the level of sport that exists
today. Sponsorships allow modern-day sportsmen and women to focus
on their sport instead of juggling practice with a more traditional job. This
in turn encourages more young people to play sport, and gives those
who are talented enough a chance to turn their passion into a lucrative
career. In fact, there have been several cases in football where children
from very poor areas have transformed their lives thanks to sport.
Therefore, this type of advertising has clear benefits for sport and sports
professionals.

In conclusion, advertising sponsorships have allowed sports people and

sport itself to thrive. Although the type of products that can be advertised
do need regulation, on the whole, I believe this is a positive
development. (294)

QUESTION 1
Match the words from the model answer to the correct definitions on the
left.
 The word 'juggle' is used idiomatically here. When used literally it refers to the
trick of continuously throwing and catching three or more balls or objects into the
air.

products; things for sale goods

the mark or name of a company to overlook

money given by a company as financial support for

brand
someone

to give your support to; to promote to juggle

to manage several different jobs or things at once regulation

bringing in a lot of money to endorse

to fail to notice or to deliberately ignore (a problem) to thrive

to change something completely (for the better) to transform

to grow and develop in a very successful way sponsorship

the act of controlling something ;an official rule or lucrative

control

QUESTION 2
Now fill in the gaps in the essay using one word only. NB think about the
tense or form of the verbs.
Model answer

Sports and advertising are now very closely linked. In fact, famous sports stars are often paid huge sums of
money to advertise expensive . This can cause problems but also has a positive
effect.

Once they reach a certain level, sports teams and individual players are now offered generous
deals. This means that they receive large sums of money in return for

advertising a certain . They are given these contracts because of their fans,

many of whom are very young and want to copy them. As the products they
tend to be luxury goods, or expensive sports equipment, this can put pressure on families to spend money
they do not have. Moreover, the most popular sports are now associated with advertisements for betting and
gambling, and many people are concerned about the impact this has on young sports fans. Thus, the
problems connected to such advertising should not be .
On the other hand, there are several positive effects. Firstly, without advertising, it is unlikely that we would
have the level of sport that exists today. Sponsorships allow modern-day sportsmen and women to focus on
their sport instead of practice with a more traditional job. This in turn
encourages more young people to play sport, and gives those who are talented enough a chance to turn their
passion into a career. In fact, there have been several cases in football where

children from very poor areas have their lives thanks to sport. Therefore, this
type of advertising has clear benefits for sport and sports professionals.

In conclusion, advertising sponsorships have allowed sports people and sport itself to
. Although the type of products that can be advertised do need

, on the whole, I believe this is a positive development.

The answer:

Model answer

Sports and advertising are now very closely linked. In fact, famous sports stars
are often paid huge sums of money to advertise expensive goods . This can
cause problems but also has a positive effect.

Once they reach a certain level, sports teams and individual players are now
offered generous sponsorship deals. This means that they receive large sums of
money in return for advertising a certain brand . They are given these contracts
because of their fans, many of whom are very young and want to copy them. As
the products they endorse tend to be luxury goods, or expensive sports
equipment, this can put pressure on families to spend money they do not have.
Moreover, the most popular sports are now associated with advertisements for
betting and gambling, and many people are concerned about the impact this has
on young sports fans. Thus, the problems connected to such advertising should
not be overlooked .

On the other hand, there are several positive effects. Firstly, without advertising,
it is unlikely that we would have the level of sport that exists today. Sponsorships

allow modern-day sportsmen and women to focus on their sport instead of

juggling practice with a more traditional job. This in turn encourages more young
people to play sport, and gives those who are talented enough a chance to turn
their passion into a lucrative career. In fact, there have been several cases in
football where children from very poor areas have transformed their lives thanks
to sport. Therefore, this type of advertising has clear benefits for sport and
sports professionals.

In conclusion, advertising sponsorships have allowed sports people and sport

itself to thrive . Although the type of products that can be advertised do need
regulation , on the whole, I believe this is a positive development.
All done !
 My Vocabulary notes

Make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this model.
Read the model answer and then complete the vocabulary exercises.

Model answer

Stress from overwork is a key factor in public health. Some believe the
government should do something about this. This essay will discuss
whether this type of intervention is necessary.

Longer working hours and higher levels of stress are caused by a

combination of factors. Firstly, there is now greater competition for jobs,
which means that employers can pressure workers to achieve more
within their working week. Often, this can only be done by working longer
days; if workers refuse, they run the risk of losing their job. Secondly,
developments in mobile technology have created an expectation that
problems will be dealt with immediately. For these reasons, the office
now extends into the home, and old ideas, such as working ‘9 to 5’, no
longer exist in many jobs. Consequently, more and more workers now
report feeling exhausted, which has an impact on health and wellbeing.
Clearly, such high levels of stress are not sustainable and something
needs to change.

Some people may argue that the government can do little to help.
However, several countries have already managed to address these
problems. In one instance, the working week was officially reduced to 4
days. This was initially done as an experiment to gauge the impact on
businesses and workers, but the result was a success. The workers were
not only more relaxed but also more productive, and still able to meet
their targets. It seems unlikely that businesses would make changes like
this unless they were forced to do so. This shows that governments do
have an important role to play in the way employees are treated.

In conclusion, much of the stress now felt by workers comes from the
faster pace of life and work, and companies need to adapt to help
employees deal with this. Therefore, I completely agree that
governments should act on behalf of workers to force this change, which
would benefit us all. (318)

QUESTION 1
Match the words from the model answer to the correct definitions on the
left.
 to become involved; to step in (to
on behalf of
help with a problem)

to strongly persuade someone to

to extend
do something they don't want to do

to do something that may result in

to deal with
something bad happening

to say you will not do something to gauge

when there are too many people sustainable

trying to get the same job or place

the strong belief that a certain thing to pressure someone (to put
will happen pressure on someone)

to take care of (a problem or

there is a lot of competition
situation)

to increase the limits of something expectation

extremely tired exhausted

able to continue at the same level to refuse

to assess or judge to meet your targets

able to produce a lot (work / productive

business)

to achieve your goals to intervene (intervention (n)

(doing something) for or in the to run the risk of (something

place of (someone else) happening)

QUESTION 2
Now fill in the gaps in the essay using the correct word or phrase. NB
Think about nouns and verb tenses.
Model answer

Stress from overwork is a key factor in public health. Some believe the government should do something
about this. This essay will discuss whether this type of is necessary.
Longer working hours and higher levels of stress are caused by a combination of factors. Firstly, there is now
greater for jobs, which means that employers can

workers to achieve more within their working week. Often, this can only be

done by working longer days; if workers , they

losing their job. Secondly, developments in mobile technology have created an

that problems will immediately. For these reasons, the office now

into the home, and old ideas, such as working ‘9 to 5’, no longer exist in many

jobs. Consequently, more and more workers now report feeling , which has an

impact on health and wellbeing. Clearly, such high levels of stress are not and
something needs to change.

Some people may argue that the government can do little to help. However, several countries have already
managed to address these problems. In one instance, the working week was officially reduced to 4 days. This
was initially done as an experiment to the impact on businesses and workers,
but the result was a success. The workers were not only more relaxed but also more
, and still able to . It seems unlikely that
businesses would make changes like this unless they were forced to do so. This shows that governments do
have an important role to play in the way employees are treated.

In conclusion, much of the stress now felt by workers comes from the faster pace of life and work, and
companies need to adapt to help employees deal with this. Therefore, I completely agree that governments
should act workers to force this change, which would benefit us all.

Show answers
Read the model answer and then complete the vocabulary exercises.

Model answer

Stress from overwork is a key factor in public health. Some believe the
government should do something about this. This essay will discuss
whether this type of intervention is necessary.

Longer working hours and higher levels of stress are caused by a

combination of factors. Firstly, there is now greater competition for jobs,
which means that employers can pressure workers to achieve more
within their working week. Often, this can only be done by working longer
days; if workers refuse, they run the risk of losing their job. Secondly,
developments in mobile technology have created an expectation that
problems will be dealt with immediately. For these reasons, the office
now extends into the home, and old ideas, such as working ‘9 to 5’, no
longer exist in many jobs. Consequently, more and more workers now
report feeling exhausted, which has an impact on health and wellbeing.
Clearly, such high levels of stress are not sustainable and something
needs to change.

Some people may argue that the government can do little to help.
However, several countries have already managed to address these
problems. In one instance, the working week was officially reduced to 4
days. This was initially done as an experiment to gauge the impact on
businesses and workers, but the result was a success. The workers were
not only more relaxed but also more productive, and still able to meet
their targets. It seems unlikely that businesses would make changes like
this unless they were forced to do so. This shows that governments do
have an important role to play in the way employees are treated.

In conclusion, much of the stress now felt by workers comes from the
faster pace of life and work, and companies need to adapt to help
employees deal with this. Therefore, I completely agree that
governments should act on behalf of workers to force this change, which
would benefit us all. (318)

QUESTION 1
Match the words from the model answer to the correct definitions on the
left.
 The word 'juggle' is used idiomatically here. When used literally it refers to the
trick of continuously throwing and catching three or more balls or objects into the
air.

to become involved; to step in (to on behalf of

help with a problem)

to strongly persuade someone to to extend

do something they don't want to do

to do something that may result in

to deal with
something bad happening

to say you will not do something to gauge

when there are too many people

sustainable
trying to get the same job or place

the strong belief that a certain thing to pressure someone (to put
will happen pressure on someone)

to take care of (a problem or

there is a lot of competition
situation)

to increase the limits of something expectation

extremely tired exhausted

able to continue at the same level to refuse

to assess or judge to meet your targets

able to produce a lot (work /

productive
business)

to achieve your goals to intervene (intervention (n)

(doing something) for or in the to run the risk of (something

place of (someone else) happening)

QUESTION 2
Now fill in the gaps in the essay using the correct word or phrase. NB
Think about nouns and verb tenses.
Model answer

Stress from overwork is a key factor in public health. Some believe the government should do something
about this. This essay will discuss whether this type of is necessary.

Longer working hours and higher levels of stress are caused by a combination of factors. Firstly, there is now
greater for jobs, which means that employers can

workers to achieve more within their working week. Often, this can only be

done by working longer days; if workers , they

losing their job. Secondly, developments in mobile technology have created an

that problems will immediately. For these reasons, the office now

into the home, and old ideas, such as working ‘9 to 5’, no longer exist in many

jobs. Consequently, more and more workers now report feeling , which has an

impact on health and wellbeing. Clearly, such high levels of stress are not and
something needs to change.

Some people may argue that the government can do little to help. However, several countries have already
managed to address these problems. In one instance, the working week was officially reduced to 4 days. This
was initially done as an experiment to the impact on businesses and workers,
but the result was a success. The workers were not only more relaxed but also more
, and still able to . It seems unlikely that
businesses would make changes like this unless they were forced to do so. This shows that governments do
have an important role to play in the way employees are treated.

In conclusion, much of the stress now felt by workers comes from the faster pace of life and work, and
companies need to adapt to help employees deal with this. Therefore, I completely agree that governments
should act workers to force this change, which would benefit us all.

The answer:

Model answer

Stress from overwork is a key factor in public health. Some believe the
government should do something about this. This essay will discuss whether this
type of intervention is necessary.

Longer working hours and higher levels of stress are caused by a combination of
factors. Firstly, there is now greater competition for jobs, which means that
employers can pressure / put pressure on workers to achieve more within their
working week. Often, this can only be done by working longer days; if workers
refuse , they run the risk of losing their job. Secondly, developments in mobile
technology have created an expectation that problems will be dealt with
immediately. For these reasons, the office now extends into the home, and old
ideas, such as working ‘9 to 5’, no longer exist in many jobs. Consequently,
more and more workers now report feeling exhausted , which has an impact on
health and wellbeing. Clearly, such high levels of stress are not sustainable and
something needs to change.
Some people may argue that the government can do little to help. However,
several countries have already managed to address these problems. In one
instance, the working week was officially reduced to 4 days. This was initially
done as an experiment to gauge the impact on businesses and workers, but the
result was a success. The workers were not only more relaxed but also more
productive , and still able to meet their targets . It seems unlikely that businesses
would make changes like this unless they were forced to do so. This shows that
governments do have an important role to play in the way employees are
treated.

In conclusion, much of the stress now felt by workers comes from the faster
pace of life and work, and companies need to adapt to help employees deal with
this. Therefore, I completely agree that governments should act on behalf of
workers to force this change, which would benefit us all.

All done !
 My Vocabulary notes

Make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this model.
 20.3 Practice Tests 5 and 6
KEY IDEA : Complete each essay under exam conditions. Use the T hink- P lan- W rite- C heck
approach. When you have finished an essay, put it away and return to it one or two days later
to review it. Use the ideas in lesson 19.3 to help. Work with a test buddy if you can. If you don’t
feel satisfied with your response, wait a few days, then repeat the task.
Read the model answers only when you are happy with your own response. Remember, there
is no single ‘correct’ answer to any writing task. Your perspective, argument, and views will be
different to mine.

Practice Test 5
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

Some experts believe it is better for animals to live in zoos where they are safe and
are given all the food they need.
Do you think that living in zoos has more advantages or more disadvantages for
animals?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.
Write at least 250 words.

When you have finished your own essay, read my model essay and then complete the
exercises on the next page.

Practice Test 6
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.
Write about the following topic:

In some countries, more and more local shops are closing down because so many
people now shop online.
What problems might this cause?
What is the best way to deal with this situation?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or
experience.
Write at least 250 words.

When you have finished your own essay, read my model essay and then complete the
exercises on the next page
 Practice Test 5 Model & Coherence and cohesion practice

Read through my model answer and complete the Coherence and cohesion exercise. When
you have finished, make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this essay.

Practice Test 6 Model & Task response practice

Read through my model answer and complete the Task response exercises. When you have
finished, make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this essay.

Can you match the numbered conclusions to the correct supporting evidence? Tap on the 2
squares you think form a matching pair - they will change to the same colour if you are correct.
Now click on the button below for more practice with Task response:

Extra practice
For extra practice, write a new plan and a new answer to any of the questions where you feel
you could make the opposite argument, or where you had to cut many of the ideas in your plan.
Review the language in the model answers at the end of this lesson, and be sure to complete
the exercises based on these.

KEY IDEA : In your test, stay focused and use all of the skills and strategies you have learned
in this book. They will help you to stay in control and answer in a disciplined and focused way.

Please recommend this book to others and I wish you all the very best of luck with your
test!
Read the model answer paying particular attention to Coherence and
cohesion (e.g. connecting words and phrases and pronouns) and then
complete the next exercise.

Model answer

Large zoos can be found in most parts of the world. Many, though not all,
are established to take care of animals. This can have both advantages
and disadvantages for the animals concerned.

Zoos can have clear benefits for animals. Firstly, they are given food,
shelter, and protection. The need for these is growing due to urban
development, which reduces the habitat of many species. Many are also
killed on new roads that have been built across their normal hunting
grounds. In addition, protection is needed from poachers, who can make
large sums of money from the sale of furs or tusks. Through their
conservation programmes, zoos offer protection for endangered species,
who are often those most at risk from all of these issues. Therefore,
places like this represent a crucial lifeline for many animals.

Nevertheless, there are also disadvantages. Although the best animal

parks try to replicate the natural habitat of each species, they cannot
achieve this for larger creatures, or those adapted to life in a different
climate. Captive animals that were born in the wild must surely feel this
loss. The situation is far worse in smaller facilities that often lack the
funds to offer more than a bare cage. Day-to-day running costs also
require a great deal of money, which is largely obtained through
attracting visitors. This means the animals are put on display or forced to
perform shows for the public. Furthermore, while animals in the wild
spend their time looking for food or engaging in natural behaviour, in
zoos they have very little meaningful activity in their day. Consequently,
they often display signs of boredom and stress. Thus, for many
creatures, life within a zoo is not a happy one.

In conclusion, zoos clearly offer much-needed protection from human

threats. However, the disadvantages of living in captivity for species that
are not endangered must surely be greater than any benefits. (316)
QUESTION 1
Now fill in as many gaps as you can to improve the Coherence and
cohesion in this essay. Look back at the model answer to complete any
remaining gaps.
Model answer

Large zoos can be found in most parts of the world. Many, though not all, are established to take care of
animals. can have both advantages and disadvantages for

Zoos can have clear benefits for animals. , they are given food, shelter, and

protection. The need for is growing due to urban development,

reduces the habitat of many species. Many are

killed on new roads have been built across their normal hunting grounds.

, protection is needed from poachers, can make

large sums of money from the sale of furs or tusks. Through conservation

programmes, zoos offer protection for endangered species, are often

most at risk from all of issues.

, places like represent a crucial lifeline for many

animals.

, there are also disadvantages. the best animal

parks try to replicate the natural habitat of each species, they cannot achieve

for larger creatures, or adapted to life in a different climate. Captive animals

were born in the wild must surely feel loss. The

situation is far worse in smaller facilities often lack the funds to offer more than

a bare cage. Day-to-day running costs require a great deal of money,

is largely obtained through attracting visitors. the

animals are put on display or forced to perform shows for the public. , while

animals in the wild spend time looking for food or engaging in natural

behaviour, in zoos have very little meaningful activity in

day. , they often display signs of boredom and

stress. , for many creatures, life within a zoo is not a happy one.
 , zoos clearly offer much-needed protection from human threats.

, the disadvantages of living in captivity for species

are not endangered must surely be greater than any benefits.

QUESTION 2
Can you answer the following questions with a suitable word or phrase
from the essay?
Which word or phrase means the same as the following?
1. the growth of a city =

2. the natural areas where animals live =

3. people who illegally hunt and kill animals =

4. in danger =

5. types of animals that may die out or disappear =

6. a very important form of help (a way of saving someone) =

7. to copy or do something again in the same way =

8. unable to move freely; not free =

9. to show something so it can be seen by the public =

10 . What are two synonyms used for 'animals'? i) ii)

11. What are three synonyms or paraphrases used to refer to 'zoos'? i) ii)

iii)

Show answers
Read the model answer paying particular attention to Coherence and
cohesion (e.g. connecting words and phrases and pronouns) and then
complete the next exercise.

Model answer

Large zoos can be found in most parts of the world. Many, though not all,
are established to take care of animals. This can have both advantages
and disadvantages for the animals concerned.

Zoos can have clear benefits for animals. Firstly, they are given food,
shelter, and protection. The need for these is growing due to urban
development, which reduces the habitat of many species. Many are also
killed on new roads that have been built across their normal hunting
grounds. In addition, protection is needed from poachers, who can make
large sums of money from the sale of furs or tusks. Through their
conservation programmes, zoos offer protection for endangered species,
who are often those most at risk from all of these issues. Therefore,
places like this represent a crucial lifeline for many animals.

Nevertheless, there are also disadvantages. Although the best animal

parks try to replicate the natural habitat of each species, they cannot
achieve this for larger creatures, or those adapted to life in a different
climate. Captive animals that were born in the wild must surely feel this
loss. The situation is far worse in smaller facilities that often lack the
funds to offer more than a bare cage. Day-to-day running costs also
require a great deal of money, which is largely obtained through
attracting visitors. This means the animals are put on display or forced to
perform shows for the public. Furthermore, while animals in the wild
spend their time looking for food or engaging in natural behaviour, in
zoos they have very little meaningful activity in their day. Consequently,
they often display signs of boredom and stress. Thus, for many
creatures, life within a zoo is not a happy one.

In conclusion, zoos clearly offer much-needed protection from human

threats. However, the disadvantages of living in captivity for species that
are not endangered must surely be greater than any benefits. (316)
QUESTION 1
Now fill in as many gaps as you can to improve the Coherence and
cohesion in this essay. Look back at the model answer to complete any
remaining gaps.
Model answer

Large zoos can be found in most parts of the world. Many, though not all, are established to take care of
animals. can have both advantages and disadvantages for

Zoos can have clear benefits for animals. , they are given food, shelter, and

protection. The need for is growing due to urban development,

reduces the habitat of many species. Many are

killed on new roads have been built across their normal hunting grounds.

, protection is needed from poachers, can make

large sums of money from the sale of furs or tusks. Through conservation

programmes, zoos offer protection for endangered species, are often

most at risk from all of issues.

, places like represent a crucial lifeline for many

animals.

, there are also disadvantages. the best animal

parks try to replicate the natural habitat of each species, they cannot achieve

for larger creatures, or adapted to life in a different climate. Captive animals

were born in the wild must surely feel loss. The

situation is far worse in smaller facilities often lack the funds to offer more than

a bare cage. Day-to-day running costs require a great deal of money,

is largely obtained through attracting visitors. the

animals are put on display or forced to perform shows for the public. , while

animals in the wild spend time looking for food or engaging in natural

behaviour, in zoos have very little meaningful activity in

day. , they often display signs of boredom and

stress. , for many creatures, life within a zoo is not a happy one.
 , zoos clearly offer much-needed protection from human threats.

, the disadvantages of living in captivity for species

are not endangered must surely be greater than any benefits.

The answer:

Model answer

Large zoos can be found in most parts of the world. Many, though not all, are
established to take care of animals. This can have both advantages and
disadvantages for the animals concerned .

Zoos can have clear benefits for animals. Firstly , they are given food, shelter,
and protection. The need for these is growing due to urban development, which
reduces the habitat of many species. Many are also killed on new roads that
have been built across their normal hunting grounds. In addition , protection is
needed from poachers, who can make large sums of money from the sale of furs
or tusks. Through their conservation programmes, zoos offer protection for
endangered species, who are often those most at risk from all of these issues.
Therefore / Thus , places like this represent a crucial lifeline for many animals.

Nevertheless , there are also disadvantages. Although the best animal parks try
to replicate the natural habitat of each species, they cannot achieve this for
larger creatures, or those adapted to life in a different climate. Captive animals
that were born in the wild must surely feel this loss. The situation is far worse in
smaller facilities that often lack the funds to offer more than a bare cage. Day-to-
day running costs also require a great deal of money, which is largely obtained
through attracting visitors. This means the animals are put on display or forced
to perform shows for the public. Furthermore / Moreover , while animals in the
wild spend their time looking for food or engaging in natural behaviour, in zoos
they have very little meaningful activity in their day. Consequently / As a result /
Because of this , they often display signs of boredom and stress. Thus /
Therefore , for many creatures, life within a zoo is not a happy one.

In conclusion , zoos clearly offer much-needed protection from human threats.

However , the disadvantages of living in captivity for species that are not
endangered must surely be greater than any benefits.
Notice the punctuation between different relative pronouns (that, which, who
etc). We need a comma before those that give additional information (which,
who, where) but we do not use a comma before those that define the noun (that,
who (which can also be used in this way).
QUESTION 2
Can you answer the following questions with a suitable word or phrase
from the essay?
Which word or phrase means the same as the following?
1. the growth of a city =

2. the natural areas where animals live =

3. people who illegally hunt and kill animals =

4. in danger =

5. types of animals that may die out or disappear =

6. a very important form of help (a way of saving someone) =

7. to copy or do something again in the same way =

8. unable to move freely; not free =

9. to show something so it can be seen by the public =

10 . What are two synonyms used for 'animals'? i) ii)

11. What are three synonyms or paraphrases used to refer to 'zoos'? i) ii)

iii)

The answer:

Which word or phrase means the same as the following?

1. the growth of a city = urban development
2. the natural areas where animals live = habitat
3. people who illegally hunt and kill animals = poachers
4. in danger = at risk
5. types of animals that may die out or disappear = endangered species
6. a very important form of help (a way of saving someone) = a crucial lifeline /
crucial lifeline
7. to copy or do something again in the same way = to replicate / replicate
8. unable to move freely; not free = captive
9. to show something so it can be seen by the public = to put on display / put on
display
10 . What are two synonyms used for 'animals'? i) creatures / species ii) species
/ creatures

11. What are three synonyms or paraphrases used to refer to 'zoos'? i) animal
parks / places like this / facilities ii) <animal parks / places like this / facilities iii)
animal parks / places like this / facilities
All done !
 My Vocabulary notes

Make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this model.
Read the model answer paying particular attention to Task response.
Think about how I make my position clear throughout and then complete
the next exercises.

Model answer

Small shops provide an important service to the local community.

However, online shopping is now forcing many to close. This causes
problems that need to be addressed.

The issues surrounding online shopping are complex. In the past, when
people needed to buy something, they would wait to visit a shop and buy
several things at once. Nowadays, we can have whatever we want
brought to our door within a day. Smaller shops feel the effects of this the
most, because people often visit their store but then go online to buy a
cheaper alternative. However, the community also suffers. In some
places, local high streets now have few interesting shops and many
‘closed’ signs. As a result, the elderly, and anyone without easy access
to a computer, are forced to travel further to buy what they need. Even
more importantly, door-to-door deliveries require extra packaging and
road traffic, which have a damaging effect on the environment. Thus, the
impact of shopping online is felt by more than local shop owners.

Nevertheless, there are several possible solutions. Firstly, the smaller

shops could adapt and offer an online service to their customers. They
could also show that they provide better quality products than the
internet can. However, small local businesses should not be the only
ones to change. To help them compete, we also need to force online
giants to pay taxes similar to those that physical stores must pay. In
addition, the public need to take more responsibility and adopt a more
community minded and environmentally aware approach to their
shopping. Therefore, this issue can only truly be resolved with
everyone’s cooperation.

In conclusion, change is an inevitable part of progress and evolution has

shown the benefits of adapting to change, which I believe is the best way
for local shops to survive. Having said that, shoppers also need to
amend their ways and stop searching online for cheaper, easier options.
(320)
 Supporting evidence - Match the 6 numbered claims with the correct supporting
evidence to help make the conclusions clear.

the elderly, and evolution

1) Smaller anyone without
easy access to a has shown 2i) the
shops feel
the effects of
computer, are the benefits community
forced to travel
further to buy of adapting suffers
this the most
what they need to change

because people door-to-door

local high streets often visit their
now have few 2 ii) the deliveries
store but then
interesting shops
go online to buy community require extra
and many packaging and
‘closed’ signs a cheaper suffers
alternative road traffic

5) the best 4) these issues smaller

3) there is 'a
way for local can only be businesses,
damaging
shops to resolved with online giants,
effect on the everyone’s and the public
survive is to
environment' cooperation. need to change
adapt
 Supporting evidence - Match the 6 numbered claims with the correct supporting
evidence to help make the conclusions clear.

the elderly, and evolution

1) Smaller anyone without
easy access to a has shown 2i) the
shops feel
the effects of
computer, are the benefits community
forced to travel
further to buy of adapting suffers
this the most
what they need to change

Congratulations!
local high streets
now have few
interesting shops
because people
often visit their
store but then
go online to buy
2 ii) the
community
door-to-door
deliveries
require extra
and many packaging and
‘closed’ signs a cheaper suffers
alternative road traffic

5) the best 4) these issues smaller

3) there is 'a
way for local can only be businesses,
damaging
shops to resolved with online giants,
effect on the everyone’s and the public
survive is to
environment' cooperation. need to change
adapt
Read the model answer paying particular attention to Task response.
Think about how I make my position clear throughout and then complete
the next exercise.

Model answer

Small shops provide an important service to the local community.

However, online shopping is now forcing many to close. This causes
problems that need to be addressed.

The issues surrounding online shopping are complex. In the past, when
people needed to buy something, they would wait to visit a shop and buy
several things at once. Nowadays, we can have whatever we want
brought to our door within a day. Smaller shops feel the effects of this the
most, because people often visit their store but then go online to buy a
cheaper alternative. However, the community also suffers. In some
places, local high streets now have few interesting shops and many
‘closed’ signs. As a result, the elderly, and anyone without easy access
to a computer, are forced to travel further to buy what they need. Even
more importantly, door-to-door deliveries require extra packaging and
road traffic, which have a damaging effect on the environment. Thus, the
impact of shopping online is felt by more than local shop owners.

Nevertheless, there are several possible solutions. Firstly, the smaller

shops could adapt and offer an online service to their customers. They
could also show that they provide better quality products than the
internet can. However, small local businesses should not be the only
ones to change. To help them compete, we also need to force online
giants to pay taxes similar to those that physical stores must pay. In
addition, the public need to take more responsibility and adopt a more
community minded and environmentally aware approach to their
shopping. Therefore, this issue can only truly be resolved with
everyone’s cooperation.

In conclusion, change is an inevitable part of progress and evolution has

shown the benefits of adapting to change, which I believe is the best way
for local shops to survive. Having said that, shoppers also need to
amend their ways and stop searching online for cheaper, easier options.
(320)
QUESTION 1
The gaps below all represent ways in which my argument, my position
and my conclusions are made clear throughout this essay. Sometimes
this is done through the choice of vocabulary, sometimes it is done
through the use of hedging language. Fill in the gaps with a suitable
word or phrase. Verbs have been given in brackets but you will need to
change the tense of these (NB Think carefully about hedging language,
the passive, and modal verbs).
Small shops provide an service to the local community. However, online

shopping is now many to close. This causes problems that

(need; address).

The issues surrounding online shopping are . In the past, when people needed
to buy something, they would wait to visit a shop and buy several things at once. Nowadays, we
(have) whatever we want brought to our door within a day. Smaller shops

(feel) the effects of this , because people

(visit) their store but then go online to buy a

alternative. However, the community also (suffer). In some places, local high

streets now have interesting shops and ‘closed’

signs. As a result, the elderly, and anyone without to a computer,

(force) to travel to buy what they need.

, door-to-door deliveries require extra packaging and road traffic, which have a

effect on the environment. Thus, the impact of shopping online

(feel) by local shop owners.

Nevertheless, there are solutions. Firstly, the smaller shops

(adapt) and offer an online service to their customers. They

(also show) that they provide quality products

than the internet can. However, small local businesses (be) the

to change. To help them compete, we also

(need, force) online giants to pay taxes to those that physical stores

(pay). In addition, the public (need, take)

responsibility and adopt a community minded

and aware approach to their shopping. Therefore, this issue

(truly, resolve) with everyone’s cooperation.

In conclusion, change is an part of progress and evolution has shown the

benefits of adapting to change, which is for local

shops to survive. Having said that, shoppers also (need, amend) their ways

and (stop, search) online for options.

Show answers
Read the model answer paying particular attention to Task response.
Think about how I make my position clear throughout and then complete
the next exercise.

Model answer

Small shops provide an important service to the local community.

However, online shopping is now forcing many to close. This causes
problems that need to be addressed.

The issues surrounding online shopping are complex. In the past, when
people needed to buy something, they would wait to visit a shop and buy
several things at once. Nowadays, we can have whatever we want
brought to our door within a day. Smaller shops feel the effects of this the
most, because people often visit their store but then go online to buy a
cheaper alternative. However, the community also suffers. In some
places, local high streets now have few interesting shops and many
‘closed’ signs. As a result, the elderly, and anyone without easy access
to a computer, are forced to travel further to buy what they need. Even
more importantly, door-to-door deliveries require extra packaging and
road traffic, which have a damaging effect on the environment. Thus, the
impact of shopping online is felt by more than local shop owners.

Nevertheless, there are several possible solutions. Firstly, the smaller

shops could adapt and offer an online service to their customers. They
could also show that they provide better quality products than the
internet can. However, small local businesses should not be the only
ones to change. To help them compete, we also need to force online
giants to pay taxes similar to those that physical stores must pay. In
addition, the public need to take more responsibility and adopt a more
community minded and environmentally aware approach to their
shopping. Therefore, this issue can only truly be resolved with
everyone’s cooperation.

In conclusion, change is an inevitable part of progress and evolution has

shown the benefits of adapting to change, which I believe is the best way
for local shops to survive. Having said that, shoppers also need to
amend their ways and stop searching online for cheaper, easier options.
(320)
QUESTION 1
The gaps below all represent ways in which my argument, my position
and my conclusions are made clear throughout this essay. Sometimes
this is done through the choice of vocabulary, sometimes it is done
through the use of hedging language. Fill in the gaps with a suitable
word or phrase. Verbs have been given in brackets but you will need to
change the tense of these (NB Think carefully about hedging language,
the passive, and modal verbs).
Small shops provide an service to the local community. However, online

shopping is now many to close. This causes problems that

(need; address).

The issues surrounding online shopping are . In the past, when people needed
to buy something, they would wait to visit a shop and buy several things at once. Nowadays, we
(have) whatever we want brought to our door within a day. Smaller shops

(feel) the effects of this , because people

(visit) their store but then go online to buy a

alternative. However, the community also (suffer). In some places, local high

streets now have interesting shops and ‘closed’

signs. As a result, the elderly, and anyone without to a computer,

(force) to travel to buy what they need.

, door-to-door deliveries require extra packaging and road traffic, which have a

effect on the environment. Thus, the impact of shopping online

(feel) by local shop owners.

Nevertheless, there are solutions. Firstly, the smaller shops

(adapt) and offer an online service to their customers. They

(also show) that they provide quality products

than the internet can. However, small local businesses (be) the

to change. To help them compete, we also

(need, force) online giants to pay taxes to those that physical stores

(pay). In addition, the public (need, take)

responsibility and adopt a community minded

and aware approach to their shopping. Therefore, this issue

(truly, resolve) with everyone’s cooperation.

In conclusion, change is an part of progress and evolution has shown the

benefits of adapting to change, which is for local

shops to survive. Having said that, shoppers also (need, amend) their ways

and (stop, search) online for options.

The answer:

Small shops provide an important service to the local community. However,

online shopping is now forcing many to close. This causes problems that need to
be addressed (need; address).

The issues surrounding online shopping are complex . In the past, when people
needed to buy something, they would wait to visit a shop and buy several things
at once. Nowadays, we can have (have) whatever we want brought to our door
within a day. Smaller shops feel (feel) the effects of this the most , because
people often visit / will often visit (visit) their store but then go online to buy a
cheaper alternative. However, the community also suffers (suffer). In some
places, local high streets now have few interesting shops and many ‘closed’
signs. As a result, the elderly, and anyone without easy access to a computer,
are forced (force) to travel further to buy what they need. Even more importantly ,

door-to-door deliveries require extra packaging and road traffic, which have a
damaging effect on the environment. Thus, the impact of shopping online is felt
(feel) by more than local shop owners.

Nevertheless, there are several possible solutions. Firstly, the smaller shops
could adapt (adapt) and offer an online service to their customers. They could
also show (also show) that they provide better quality products than the internet
can. However, small local businesses should not be (be) the only ones to
change. To help them compete, we also need to force (need, force) online giants
to pay taxes similar to those that physical stores must pay / have to pay (pay). In
addition, the public need to take (need, take) more responsibility and adopt a
more community minded and environmentally aware approach to their shopping.
Therefore, this issue can only truly be resolved (truly, resolve) with everyone’s
cooperation.

In conclusion, change is an inevitable part of progress and evolution has shown

the benefits of adapting to change, which I believe is the best way for local
shops to survive. Having said that, shoppers also need to amend (need, amend)
their ways and stop searching / to stop searching (stop, search) online for
cheaper, easier options.
NB Notice how I used grammar and vocabulary to make my argument, not to
show my knowledge of high-level words and grammatical structures. For
example, I chose to use words like 'inevitable' because this helped me make a
point, similarly with my use of comparatives and superlatives. This is how you
will show C1 and C2 language.

All done !
 My Vocabulary notes

Make a note of any vocabulary you would like to learn from this model.