LESSON 6

STRENGTHENING YOUR ARGUMENT: COUNTERARGUMENTS

I. PRESENTING A COUNTERARGUMENT
II. THE LANGUAGE OF COUNTERARGUMENTS
III. DEALING WITH PROBLEMS IN COUNTERARGUMENTS
I. Presenting a counterargument
1. What is a counterargument?
Presenting a counterargument in your essay is a high-level skill, and the problems associated with
this idea are complex. The following analogy may help to make the concept clearer. Imagine that you
have a good job, and you may be promoted soon, but you have been offered a new job in a different
country. Before reaching a decision, you would naturally think carefully about all sides of the issue.
You would consider the benefits of staying in your current job, as well as the benefits of the new job.
You would also consider the disadvantages of both ideas. If someone asked you, ‘What did you
decide to do ?’ You might say:
‘I’m going to take the job because it’s a really good opportunity. I know you might think
that I’ll miss out on getting a promotion, but the pay is better, and I think I’ll learn so
much more if I go.’

This speaker is showing that they reached a decision after considering all sides of the issue; they
show this by:

Presenting an argument: I’m going to take the new job because it’s a really good opportunity.
Acknowledging a counterargument: I know you might think that I’ll miss out on getting a promotion.
Refuting* the counterargument: But the pay is better and I think I’ll learn so much more.

Acknowledging the counterargument in this way makes the argument stronger than simply saying, ‘
I’ve decided to take the job because it’s a really good opportunity and I will learn a lot in the new job .’
Notice also that, even though they have referred to the counterargument, we still know what this
person's position is - we still know what they have decided to do.

KEY IDEA: An argument is made stronger by not only presenting evidence to support your
conclusions, but also by considering, and then refuting, the argument that is against, or
‘counter’, to it: the counterargument. Doing this shows that you considered all sides of the
issue before reaching your conclusion.

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2. How is this relevant to IELTS?
The following examples help to see this analogy in terms of some typical writing task 2
questions:

1) Some people think it is better to stay in the same job all your working life. To what extent do
you agree or disagree?
2) Some people think it is better to stay in the same job all your life. Others think it is better to
do different jobs throughout your career. Discuss both these views and give your own
opinion.
3) Nowadays, people change jobs more often than in the past. Is this a positive or a negative
development?
4) People are now more likely to have several different jobs throughout their career than in the
past. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

When responding to each one of these questions, you can present an argument for changing jobs,
and discuss the counterargument – the argument for staying in the same job. With questions 2 to 4,
you must respond by considering both of these sides. Only question 1 is different:
Some people think it is better to stay in the same job all
your working life. To what extent do you agree or
disagree?
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Do you agree or disagree?
Only with questions like this, and the General Training equivalent of ‘ Do you agree or disagree ?’, do
you have a choice in the way you respond. With these questions, you can:

A. present an argument that looks at both sides, then reach a conclusion about it
B. present an argument for only the side you agree with
C. present an argument for only the side you agree with, while also mentioning, and refuting, the
counterargument.

In my experience, students like to be given fixed rules, not choices like this. Teachers also prefer to
give one clear answer, rather than a more confusing response of, ‘just decide for yourself’. However,
because people differ in their approach, it is difficult for self-study students to know which approach to
take.

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Teachers generally adapt their approach based on several factors, including:
 the level of the students they have in their class
 their own past experience (the approach they know they have had success with)
 the amount of time they have with their students.
Many students and teachers want certainty and a quick solution, so there is little time to weigh up the
advantages and disadvantages of each approach. The table below attempts to show what these are:

KEY IDEA: Task 2 questions do not fall into neat ‘types’ – they have several variables. You
must be flexible in your approach and adapt to each individual task. Deciding you will always
include a counterargument, or that you will never discuss the side you disagree with, means
you will not be flexible in the way you approach each task. This is a little like going into a
maths test and deciding that you will always use long division, even when the question does
not call for it, just to show that you have studied this.

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3. Why do counterarguments cause problems?
When presenting a counterargument, you might be able to concede* a point, but it is always important
to refute it, showing why you do not hold the same position. Conceding and refuting are high-level
skills that candidates below band 8 struggle with. Band 6 or 6.5 candidates often present the
counterargument in a way that suggests they agree with it, which is not only confusing for the reader
but also means that their own position is not made clear throughout, guaranteeing they remain at this
level.

In effect, band 6.5 candidates present a counterargument like this:

‘I’ve decided to take the new job because it’s a good opportunity. It is a
terrible idea. I will miss out on a promotion here, and I will struggle a lot
in the new job. Therefore, I have decided to leave.’

Many band 6 candidates also appear to add a counterargument in much the same way as they add
an invented example in every paragraph – it is presented in a rather mechanical way, no matter what
their argument is. As we saw with examples, you should only include a counterargument if you feel it
is necessary or helpful. In other words, if it will support and strengthen your argument, and you are
confident you have the skills to make your own position clear throughout.

3.1 Why bad advice causes problems?

By far the easiest way to present a clear counterargument is to say, ‘Some people may think XYZ, but
I think ABC.’ If you are at band 5 or 6, or a teacher of lower level candidates, this is the approach I
would recommend. Unfortunately, a great deal of the advice about IELTS focuses on imposing
unnecessary rules or limits on the language that you can or must use. For example, many people
follow bad advice that says you must only use the passive in IELTS, and even that you should avoid
using ‘some’. This is not at all helpful in an essay where you need to be clear about your own
thoughts and make your own position clear.

If you write, ‘It is thought,’ or ‘It is felt, ’ then you are not telling the examiner what you think or feel.
Similarly, as we will see, the advice to avoid using ‘some’ or ‘some people’ results in candidates
presenting what should be a counterargument as though it is an argument they actually believe.

KEY IDEA: If you are following advice that says you must not use ‘some’ and
that you must always use the passive, then you are following bad advice that is
likely to keep you stuck at band 6.5.

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II. The language of counterarguments: conceding and refuting
1. How should I use a counterargument?
When answering, ‘To what extent do you agree or disagree?’ or ‘Do you agree or disagree?’
questions, I am often asked how or when to include a counterargument. The examples below show,
very briefly, some different ways you can do this. These are arguments that might be made in answer
to our previous question:
Some people think it is better to stay in the same job all your working life.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
NB In each case, I have used blue text to show the writer’s position, and red to show the
counterargument – the one the writer does not agree with.
2. Argument showing complete agreement:
If you completely agree, you might present an argument and counterargument like this:
My position and argument:
I completely agree because staying in the same job is
rewarding, and also increases your chance of
promotion.
The counterargument Some people might say it is boring to stay in the
same job.
Conceding a point: It is true that there is less variety.
Refuting this point: However, I believe changing jobs too often can be
unsettling and you may actually learn less.

Or, you may choose to discuss the counterargument earlier in your essay:
The counterargument: Some people might say it is boring to stay in the
same job.
Conceding a point: It is true that there is less variety.
Refuting this point: However, I believe changing jobs too often can be
unsettling and you may actually learn less.
My position and Therefore, I completely agree, because staying in the
argument: same job is not only rewarding but also increases
your chance of promotion.

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3. Argument showing complete disagreement:
If you completely disagree, you might present an argument and counterargument like this:
My position and I completely disagree, because staying in the same
argument: job means you become bored and lose motivation.
The counterargument: Some people might say you have a better chance of
promotion by staying in the same job.
Conceding a point: That may be true for some people.
Refuting this point: However, this is not true for everyone, many people
have to apply for higher positions in a different
company.
Or this:
The counterargument: Some people might say you have a better chance of
promotion by staying in the same job.
Conceding a point: That may be true for some people.
Refuting this point: However, this is not true for everyone, many people
have to apply for higher positions in a different
company
My position and Therefore, I completely disagree because staying in
argument: the same job means you become bored and lose
motivation.

These are just some of the ways that an argument and counterargument can be managed with this
type of question. As we saw in the previous lesson, there is no right or wrong answer, it is simply a
question of deciding what your position is, then clearly explaining why you hold this position, and why
you do not share the opposing opinion, even though you can understand why other people may
believe it to be true.

KEY IDEA: If you are presented with one viewpoint and asked if you agree or disagree with it,
or to what extent you agree or disagree, you should only discuss one side of the argument if
you are confident that you can:
1. cover all parts of the task equally
2. make your own position clear throughout, and
3. avoid repeating the same key ideas in all the way through your essay
This also applies if you concede and refute the points in the counterargument.

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4. The language of counterarguments.
As we saw earlier, a counterargument often begins by conceding a point. The verb ‘to concede’
means to accept or admit that the opposite viewpoint may also be valid. Essentially, you are saying:
‘ I understand the opposing argument, and it may have some good points, but... ’
Words and phrases that are often used to introduce an idea like this are:
Admittedly,…; Some people may argue…, Some people might say....
A good counterargument will also refute this argument, essentially saying:
‘...but I still don’t agree with it because….’
Words and phrases used to show that we are refuting a point are:
Nevertheless, While, Although, Having said that,…
Notice the role that grammar plays here. When introducing the counterargument, I often use modal
verbs such as may, could, might . As well as other types of limiting language, such as adverbs. As we
saw in Lessons 3.3, this language is an important part of making an argument and making your
position clear.
5. hedging language
Hedging language is used to make a statement less strong and more cautious:
could, might, may, possibly, little, few, some, sometimes, it is unlikely,
Or stronger and more definite:
will, would, should, must, need to, ought to, is likely to, probably, clearly, definitely,
generally, often, more, many, better, best, only, it is clear that etc.

POINT TO NOTICE
 Be aware of this type of language in the question you are given – it is being used to show
you the argument and position you need to respond to.
 Look out for this type of language in the listening and reading test, especially if you are
being asked what the writer or speaker thinks or believes, or that their attitude is.
 In writing, you can use this type of language to make your own language stronger, and
not only make the counterargument weaker, but also clearly show my position on this
argument.
 When you make the counterargument weaker, you are strengthening the idea that you
don’t agree with it, and casting doubt on this argument. Consider the difference between
these two statements. The red text indicates the counterargument, notice the effect the
hedging language (underlined) in version 2 has on this argument:

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 1) Staying in the same job has benefits, but I still think it is better to have more
variety.
2) Staying in the same job may have some benefits, but I still think it is better to
have more variety.
In the second statement, the argument and the writer’s position (in blue) is made stronger and clearer
by casting doubt on the counterargument.

5. Showing contrast
The second important grammatical point is related to showing contrast . In the 2 previous sentences,
the word but plays an important role: it signals that there is a clear contrast between the
counterargument and my argument. In your writing, it is better to use a variety of structures, so you
should practise using words such as: although, however, and while. You can check if you are using
these words accurately in the next practice exercise.
6. Adding a counterargument
To show how this works all works in practice, I have added a counterargument to our previous
paragraph about homelessness:

Big cities often have more people than houses, which causes several problems. Firstly, it can
mean that many people do not have anywhere to live, which puts pressure on local charities
and homeless shelters. In addition, a lack of accommodation causes house prices and rents to
remain high, showing that housing problems affect almost everyone in the community. I would
suggest that the best way to solve these issues is for the government to build extra houses
and to give financial aid to those who are struggling.
Although some people may argue that governments cannot be held responsible when people
lose their home, and that people who are struggling must work harder to solve their own
problems, without any state intervention, such issues can often become much worse.
Homelessness can even increase as a result. Thus, in my view, it is crucial for the government
to step in.

Can you identify the counterargument? How did I introduce it? To make it clear that I do not agree
with this position, I needed to refute it, can you identify the part that does this?
Below, I have highlighted the words and phrases that help the reader follow the thread of this
counterargument and make my position on it clear. I have used blue to show my main argument and
position and red to show the counterargument.

Big cities often have more people than houses, which causes several problems. Firstly, it can
mean that many people do not have anywhere to live, which puts pressure on local charities
and homeless shelters. In addition, a lack of accommodation causes house prices and rents to

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remain high, showing that housing problems affect almost everyone in the community. I would
suggest that the best way to solve these issues is for the government to build extra houses
and to give financial aid to those who are struggling.
Although some people may argue that governments cannot be held responsible when people
lose their home, and that people who are struggling must work harder to solve their own
problems, without any state intervention, such issues can often become much worse.
Homelessness can even increase as a result. Thus, in my view, it is crucial for the government
to step in.

Notice again the role that grammar, connectors, and vocabulary play in this. If used appropriately and
accurately, words and phrases like this form useful signposts for the reader to follow. Conversely,
when these words are not used appropriately, the result is 'mechanical' and often creates confusion
for the reader. NB When you are writing, if your thinking goes like this: 'Now I need to add a
counterargument / give an example / use a high-level grammar point.' then it is more than likely that
you are writing in a mechanical way.

The following is typical of the attempted counterarguments at band 6.5:

Big cities often have more people than houses, which causes several problems. Firstly, it can
mean that many people do not have anywhere to live, which puts pressure on local charities
and homeless shelters. In addition, a lack of accommodation causes house prices and rents to
remain high, showing that housing problems affect almost everyone in the community. I would
suggest that the best way to solve these issues is for the government to build extra houses
and to give financial aid to those who are struggling.
In contrast, governments cannot be held responsible when people lose their home, and people
who are struggling must work harder to solve their own problems. Without any state
intervention, such issues can often become much worse. Homelessness can even increase as
a result. Thus, in my view, it is crucial for the government to step in.

Although there is an attempt to signal that this counterargument is ‘In contrast’ with the previous point,
the writer does not make it clear that they do not share this view.
If you write, ‘Governments cannot be held responsible when people lose their home,’ you are
presenting this as your position. This is confusing for the reader because, instead of presenting and
refuting a counterargument, the writer presents two contradictory arguments:
Governments cannot be held responsible…people must help themselves.
Without state intervention this situation can become worse…thus it is crucial.

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A similar problem occurs when a candidate presents a firm position and argument at the end of their
introduction, but then later presents the counterargument as they also believe this:
Introduction : In my view, governments must do everything they can to help the
homeless.
Body paragraph: Governments cannot be held responsible for the homeless.
This shows the impact the counterargument has on making your position ‘ clear throughout the
response ’ (band 7 Task response) and just how important it is to manage this well.

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Exercise 1: rewrite the following sentence using although, however, and while instead of ' but '
.
Staying in the same job might have some benefits , but I still think it is better to have more
variety.
Exercise 2: In the following paragraphs, the position is not clear throughout. Try to rewrite them to
make the position clearer. Use hedging language where necessary.
1 ) I completely agree that it is better to stay in the same job all of your working life, because it
increases your chance of promotion. It is boring to stay in the same job. Changing jobs too often can
be unsettling and you may actually learn less.
2 ) You have a better chance of promotion if you stay in the same job. Many people have to apply to a
different company to get a higher position. Therefore, I completely disagree that it is better to stay in
the same job all of your working life.
Answers:
Exercise 1:
1) Although staying in the same job might have some benefits, I still think it is better to have more
variety.
2) Staying in the same job might have some benefits, however, I still think it is better to have more
variety.
3) While staying in the same job might have some benefits, I still think it is better to have more variety.

Exercise 2:
1) I completely agree that it is better to stay in the same job all of your working life, because it
increases your chance of promotion. Although some / While some people might say / may say /
could say it is boring to stay in the same job, I believe that changing jobs too often can be unsettling
and you may / you might / you could actually
learn less.
2) Some people may / people might / people could argue that you have a better chance of
promotion if you stay in the same job. However, this may not / might not be true for everyone, in
fact many people have to apply to a different company to get a higher position. Therefore, I
completely disagree that it is better to stay in the same job all of your working life.

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III. Dealing with more complex problems
When you are introducing a counterargument within a complete essay, the problems are often more
complex. The following paragraph was sent to me by a candidate who wanted to practise writing a
counterargument. The essay question asked him to discuss whether prison is the best form of
punishment for all crime. His paragraph illustrates several key problems, which we will deal with one
by one. First, read the paragraph and try to identify the writer’s overall position. Do you think this
writer agrees or disagrees with the view that prisons are the best form of punishment for all crime?

Another argument in favour of prisons, especially the tough ones, is to send a

strong message to would-be criminals so as to make them think twice before
committing crimes. While the daunting hand of law enforcement and severe
punishments might prevent some offences, it will be the inmates’ families who
are likely to harbour animosity toward the public and the judicial system and
sometimes vow to enact vengeance. Households with an incarcerated family
member cannot thus be expected to respect the law and turn out law-abiding
citizens the same as others.

Problem 1 - A lack of a clear central idea

The first problem here is that there is no clear central topic. When I pointed this out, the writer replied,
‘ But I know that you can infer the main idea in a paragraph ’. Remember, the examiner is not taking
your reading test, he or she is looking for a clear main idea in each paragraph, and assessing your
answer based on this. If the examiner cannot find it, they cannot reward it.
KEY IDEA: The examiner is not taking your reading test, he or she is looking for
a clear central topic in each paragraph and assessing your answer based on
this. Don’t hide the main idea or topic – if the examiner cannot find it, they
cannot reward it.

Problem 2 - The position is not clear throughout

This writer told me that he is very much against the use of prisons, and that his overall position is, ‘ I
completely disagree that prisons are the best form of punishment ’. I was surprised by this because
the beginning of the paragraph tells the reader that it will present ‘ Another argument in favour of
prisons ’, which suggests that the previous paragraph also presented an argument in favour of
prisons. At the end of this paragraph, the writer’s conclusion about prisons is very unclear. This is a
good demonstration of band 6 Task response: the writer’s overall position on this issue is not clear
throughout the response .
Problem 3 – Perspective problems - main ideas are unclear
I was also confused about the argument regarding families, and the reasons why they might not be
‘law-abiding’ were very unclear to me. When I asked about this, the candidate explained that, in his
country, people are imprisoned unfairly, even for petty crimes. As a result, their families often feel very
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resentful towards the prison system and may take actions against it. This was the context for his
argument, but he failed to explain it in his writing. Because of this, his conclusions and main ideas
remain unclear to the reader.
Problem 4 – Language and writing style
The main idea, as I planned, is that prisons cannot reduce the crime rate by
sending a strong message to would-be criminals. What I mean is that tough
prisons might be frightening and, as a result, a deterrent; however if prisoners
suffer, while inside, their families will hate the judicial system and may turn into
antisocial individuals. I think people have a close bond with their family
members and show sympathy to them.

Notice how much clearer and more natural this is, and how much easier it is to identify the argument
and the counterargument compared to his practice paragraph. The attempts to use higher level
language cause problems rather than boosting the score: there are collocation problems (‘ the
daunting hand of law-enforcement ’) and issues of style (the word vengeance is too strong). The idea
that the families of prisoners might act in an ‘antisocial’ way is more logical than the idea that they will
not ‘ turn out law-abiding citizens ’. If anti-social behaviour is what he meant, this is what he should
have written. Language should be chosen because it helps to clearly explain your argument, not in an
attempt to score extra points.
This also highlights why writing is more difficult than speaking – there is no listener to show their
confusion and ask you to clarify or explain as I did. It is difficult to imagine someone not knowing
things that are very familiar to you, but you need to keep this in your mind and adjust your
explanations accordingly. Try to see your examiner as a colleague in another country who you are
helping to understand the problems surrounding an issue, rather than an important judge you must try
to impress by hiding ideas and using clever language.
Fixing the problems
The writer’s position: Prisons are not the best form of punishment for all crime.
Counterargument: Prisons can act as a deterrent to reduce crime.
Argument that will refute this: If people are imprisoned unjustly, their families
will react and may become antisocial, which may increase crime.

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 PRACTICE
On your worksheet, rewrite the practice paragraph above. Try to:
 have one clear central topic
 concede a point in the counterargument
 refute this argument
 make the writer’s position and perspective clear
 add an extra point to strengthen the argument that 'prisons may increase crime'
 use hedging language where necessary
When you have finished, complete my version of this paragraph in the listening exercise below. Listen
to the whole paragraph first, then practise your recall skills by listening to a sentence (or part of a
sentence), then pausing the recording to write what you can recall.

 the central topic

 the counterargument
 the writer is conceding a point in the counterargument
 an argument used to refute this point
 the context and perspective for this argument
 the writer’s position is clear
 examples of hedging language

Look back at the paragraph you wrote earlier. Can you identify these same points in your paragraph?
What changes do you need to make? Make a note of any language you would like to learn and be
sure to practise this in your own writing.
POINT TO NOTICE:

Look back at any of your previous essays where you believe you have made a
counterargument.
Did you make your own position clear?
Did you refute the counterargument?
Do you need to help the reader understand your perspective and position?
Did you use any hedging language?
Make any necessary changes and rewrite one or two of your counterarguments using the
words and phrases you learned in this lesson.

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 LESSON 8 - PARAGRAPH WRITING

Progression and development within an argument

Addressing Coherence and cohesion problems
Addressing task response problem

I. Progression and development within an argument

In lesson 2, we looked at problems in sentence-level arguments. When it comes to longer arguments,
the problems become more complex, and have an impact on both development (Task response) and
progression (Coherence and cohesion).
As we have seen, individual arguments are logically connected through meaning, the effective use of
linking words and phrases, and referencing (using a synonym or pronoun). In an earlier example we
looked at, one candidate wrote, ‘ On the societal level, the results may be catastrophic if this is the
case .’ This argument can only show clear progression if the reader can easily understand what the
terms ‘ if this is the case’ , and ‘ the results’ refer to. If these ideas remain unclear, then the whole
argument will also be unclear. Thus, problems with progression are often connected to problems with
cohesive devices, and to referencing in particular. These issues need to be controlled throughout your
essay to achieve band 7 or above.
In terms of Task response, an argument is not well-developed (band 8) or fully developed (band 9) if
the ideas do not form a complete or clear picture when judged together. Seeing this in terms of a
physical structure, such as a house, may help:

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The following paragraph helps illustrate band 6 problems in progression and development. It is an
extract from an essay discussing whether schools should be responsible for teaching children good
behaviour or whether only parents should do this.
Here is the original version:
Children spend the larger part of their day at schools, where the teachers can
cultivate their minds with knowledge that is not only important for their career,
but also that can help them grow as a wise adult. They can mentor these in many
different ways, for instance through books or group activities where they can
learn to differentiate right from wrong. Additionally, children get engaged in
various extra-curricular activities at school, where often they are asked to dress-
up like great leaders or persons. When doing so, they get curious to know about
these persons which can help them in emulating their traits which consequently
get integrated into their personality. Therefore, the role of schools in instilling
the good behaviourism is much more crucial as compared to those of the parent.

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 PRACTICE
To highlight the Task response and Coherence and cohesion problems, I have corrected the grammar
and vocabulary.
Children spend the largest part of their day at school, where the teachers can
cultivate their minds and impart knowledge that is not only important for their
career, but that can also help them grow into wise adults. They can mentor them
in many different ways, for instance through books or group activities, where
they can learn to tell right from wrong. Additionally, children become engaged in
various extra-curricular activities at school, where often they are asked to dress
up like great leaders. While doing this, they become curious and want to know
more about these people, which can help them in emulating their traits, which
consequently become integrated into their personality. Therefore, the role of
schools in instilling good behaviour is much more crucial than that of the parent.

Which of these problems can you identify in this paragraph? (You may choose more than
one).
A. uses cohesive devices effectively but cohesion between sentences is faulty
B. does not always use referencing clearly
C. a lack of a clear central topic within the paragraph
D. presents a relevant position although conclusions become unclear
E. presents relevant main ideas but some are inadequately developed / unclear

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II Addressing Coherence and cohesion problems
 Uses cohesive devices effectively but cohesion between sentences is faulty
 does not always use referencing clearly
This paragraph shows mixed success in using cohesive devices. Here are some examples where
these are managed well (NB, these were not all managed well in the original version.)

 Children spend the largest part of their day

 at school, where the teachers can
 knowledge that is not only important for their career, but that can
also
 in many different ways, for instance through
 Additionally, children become
 at school, where often they
 dress up like great leaders. While doing this, they
 Therefore, the role of

Each of these examples is a clear signpost showing how two ideas are connected – this is what
cohesion means. However, the use of referencing sometimes causes confusion, making it difficult to
follow the ideas. In the next exercises, we will work on improving this.

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 PRACTICE
Complete the exercises below to understand how your use of pronouns can either help or hinder the
reader. Remember, when you help the reader, you improve your Coherence and cohesion score.
Even though we have fixed the referencing problems, the second sentence in the final exercise shows
a further common coherence problem at band 6.5: it contains too many different ideas and so it is
difficult to follow:
While doing this, the students become curious and want to know more about
these people, which can encourage the children to emulate their qualities,
which consequently become integrated into their own personality.

This often happens when candidates write overly long, complex sentences. On your worksheet,
rewrite this extract to make it clearer. Try to do the following:
 split it into 2 or 3 separate sentences.
 add a cohesive device to make the links clearer (e.g. a linking phrase and / or a reference)
 add modal verbs (can, might, may, it is possible etc.) to make the statements more cautious
and
 less certain (hedging language).
When you have finished, click on the button below to see my version, where I have highlighted the
hedging language.
KEY IDEA : The examiner must be able to follow your reasoning to give
you a score of band 7 or above, the more difficult this is to do, the lower
your score. The language you use (referencing, modal verbs, the length
of your sentences) can have an impact on the examiner’s ability to follow
your argument and understand your conclusions.

Reading aloud
Read this new version of the whole paragraph aloud. Can you notice an ‘over-use’ or repetition of one
structure?
Children spend the largest part of their day at school, where the teachers
can cultivate their minds and fill them with knowledge that is not only
important for their career, but that can also help them grow into wise
adults. They can mentor the students in many different ways, for instance
through books or group activities, where they can learn to tell right from
wrong. In addition, children become engaged in various extra-curricular
activities at school, where they are often asked to dress up like great
leaders. While doing this, the students may become curious and want to
know more about these people, which could encourage the children to
emulate their qualities. These positive traits may even become integrated
into their own personality. Therefore, the role of schools in instilling good

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 behaviour is much more crucial than that of the parent.

Reading your writing out loud in this way helps you to notice repetition more easily, for example, did
you notice the overuse of relative clauses here when you had to repeat 'which' and 'where'? I also find
that I stumble when trying to read aloud any of my writing that is unclear, so it is also very useful for
checking and editing. Although you cannot do this in a test situation, practising like this before your
test should help you to silently read over your work in a more focused way – I find I can make my
inner voice seem ‘louder’ when I want to do this type of final checking.
Children spend the largest part of their day at school, where the teachers
can cultivate their minds and fill them with knowledge that is not only
important for their career, but that can also help them grow into wise
adults . They can mentor the students in many different ways, for instance
through books or group activities, where they can learn to tell right from wrong.
In addition, children become engaged in various extra-curricular activities at
school, where they are often asked to dress up like great leaders. While doing
so, the students may become curious and want to know more about these
people, which could encourage the children to emulate their qualities. These
positive traits may even become integrated into their own personality.
Therefore, the role of schools in instilling good behaviour is much more
crucial than that of the parent.

The first sentence

The first sentence tells us that the central topic in this paragraph will be: ‘ schools and teachers
cultivating the minds of children to fill them with knowledge that is important for their career and
helping
them grow into wise adults .’ This is too long and complex to be a helpful signpost for the reader, but it
also isn’t accurate – the children’s careers are never mentioned again. This sentence would work
better
as a second sentence, which shows a common problem I see – the first sentence of the paragraph is
missing. The writer’s overall argument in this paragraph seems to be that ‘ schools have a lot of
influence on children’s behaviour ’, so this idea would produce a much more appropriate first
sentence.

The final sentence

In the final sentence, the writer makes a good attempt at linking this paragraph to the question.
However, it claims that the paragraph shows that ‘ the role of schools in instilling good behaviour is

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much more crucial than that of the parent .’ This conclusion is not supported by the evidence given
here
and so remains unclear – the role of parents is not mentioned at all. A more appropriate sentence
would
be: Therefore, the role of schools in instilling good behaviour is a significant one. Revising the first
and
last sentences so that they accurately reflect the ideas in the paragraph will significantly improve the
Coherence and cohesion score here.

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QUESTION:
A pronoun is used to take the place of a noun, but its meaning is only clear when it refers back to the
last noun mentioned, which is not always the case here. Below, rewrite the following extracts to
improve the Coherence and cohesion score and to help the reader easily understand the subject of
each verb.
1) They can mentor them in many different ways, for instance through books or group activities,
where they can learn to tell right from wrong.
2) While doing this, they become curious and want to know more about these people, which can help
them in emulating their traits, which consequently become integrated into their personality
ANSWERs:
1) The teachers can mentor them in many different ways, for instance through books or group
activities, where they can learn to tell right from wrong.
OR
1) They can mentor the students in many different ways, for instance through books or
group activities, where they can learn to tell right from wrong.
2) While doing this, the students become curious and want to know more about these
people, which can help the children in emulating their traits, which consequently
become integrated into their personality.
OR
2) While doing this, they become curious and want to know more about these leaders,
which can help the children in emulating their traits, which consequently become
integrated into their personality.

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III Addressing Task response problems

 Presents a relevant position although conclusions become unclear

 Presents relevant main ideas but some are inadequately developed / unclear

The argument being made in this paragraph is that ‘ schools have a lot of influence on children’s
behaviour .’ This is the main idea or conclusion that needs to be made clear. The ideas within the
paragraph need to explain and support this point if we want to present an adequately developed
response. Remember, these explanations must help the reader to understand why the writer believes
this, and show that it is a valid argument or conclusion.

To identify any Task response problems in this paragraph, on your worksheet, complete the
second column in the table with the supporting evidence or explanation given for each of the
points listed.

Schools have a lot of influence on children’s behaviour. Children spend

the largest part of their day at school, where the teachers can cultivate
their minds and fill them with knowledge that is not only important for
their career, but that can also help them grow into wise adults. They can
mentor the students in many different ways, for instance through books
or group activities, where they can learn to tell right from wrong. In
addition, children become engaged in various extra-curricular activities
at school, where they are often asked to dress up like great leaders.
While doing this, the students may become curious and want to know
more about these people, which could encourage the children to emulate
their qualities. These positive traits may even become integrated into
their own personality. Therefore, the role of schools in instilling good
behaviour is a significant one.

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Look at the answer belows:

The explanation for the last idea (point 3) takes up almost half of the paragraph, yet the argument that
children can permanently alter their personality and behaviour by temporarily wearing different clothes
still does not seem to be a valid one. In contrast, the ideas that are far more relevant to the main idea
and the central topic (the role of the teacher in group activities and mentoring) are insufficiently
developed or explained and so also remain unclear.
There is a further problem here. The writing task told us to discuss whether schools should be
responsible for teaching children good behaviour, not just parents, but the writer has introduced a
theme that is not relevant: children learning how to behave by copying famous leaders. We will work
on this idea of themes later.

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If the writer had applied critical thinking before writing he would have realised that this idea should be
deleted. Instead, by persisting with it, and explaining it over several sentences, he has gradually
moved further and further away from the issue in the question. This is what happens when you think
as you write, and will occur no matter what your level is, it certainly happens to me. As a result, even
with the improvements we have made to language and Coherence and cohesion, this paragraph still
represents band 6 Task response, which helps explain why native speakers also struggle to score
band 7 or above.

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Points to notice about paragraph structure:

1. The first sentence in the paragraph introduces the main idea (the ‘central topic’ here is the
influence that schools have on children). The final sentence reaches a conclusion based on the
evidence provided within the paragraph, shows how this is linked to the question, and makes my
position clear.
2. We can see the P and L in PEEL as overall conclusions about the argument within the
paragraph.
The first introduces these through a general statement or point, and the final sentence sums up
the main argument in the paragraph, and shows that it is answering the question – in other words,
why or how this is relevant to the question you have been given.
3. Each idea between these two sentences:

 is relevant both to the question and to the main idea given in the first sentence
 helps support and explain the conclusions (P and L)
 is clearly connected
 is logically organised
When we can do something well, we can make it look easy. Do not underestimate the skill required to
neatly sum up an argument or main point in this way – do not be fooled into thinking ‘the level here is
too low because it is too easy to understand.’ Those who believe this continue to write in a way that
makes their central ideas, conclusions, and position unclear.

Of course, there are other ways to structure a paragraph. You will find these in reading test passages,
in academic journals, and even in sample answers produced by examiners for practice test books.
However, these may not represent the writing we are aiming for here: a timed essay, produced under
exam conditions, that will meet the test criteria, and that will help you achieve the best possible score.

An important reminder about language

The following exercise looks at the writer's position in four different topic sentences. This task helps to

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show the role that language plays in making your position and argument clear, especially in the first
and
last sentences of each paragraph. When you have finished, click on 'show answers' to see an
explanation for each answer.
Points to notice.
 The grammatical points are not used to boost the Grammatical accuracy and range score but
to
make the position and argument clear. Each grammar point serves this purpose. Look back at
sentences 2 and 3 to see the role that comparatives, and modal verbs play in making the writer's
position verb clear.
 The vocabulary used also serves the same purpose. Compare sentence 1 to sentence 4. In
sentence 1, the writer is focused on clearly communicating the message - 'have a great deal of
influence on' conveys the message very clearly while also showing good collocation (i.e. uses the
correct combination of words: have an influence on ). In sentence 4, the writer may have intended
to say, ' Schools have a lot of influence on young children ,' but in trying to score Lexical resource
points by using 'high-level' words instead, they lost the clarity that is needed to reach the higher
bands.

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 Extra practice

Go back over previous essays you have written and focus on your body paragraphs.
 Look for any pronouns you have used – what do these refer back to? Is this reference clear?
 Find the conclusions you made in each argument (your points and claims) and the reasons you
 gave for believing these (your supporting evidence) and decide if your arguments and
conclusions are clear and valid. What changes can you make to help make them clearer?
 Look back at the first sentence in each paragraph – does it introduce one clear central topic?
 Do your final sentences accurately reflect the evidence you have provided and link back to the
question – in other words, do your paragraphs match the PEEL structure?
 Is one paragraph more successful at this than another? (This is a common problem and
indicates
 insufficient planning before writing.)
 Rewrite one or two paragraphs for practice when you have time. Make a note of any repeated
language problems and grammar points, and make sure to study and practise them. For
example, relative clauses, conditional sentences, modal verbs.

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 LESSON 9

I. THE INTRODUCTION
II. THE BODY PARAGRAPHS
III. THE CONCLUSION
I- THE INTRODUCTION
The Introduction
There are no fixed rules governing what an introduction should look like or how many sentences it
should contain, and opinions about this will vary from teacher to teacher. Although we cannot gauge
the
success of an introduction outside of the context of a complete essay, there are some key features to
point out.

Key features of an introduction

Your introduction briefly tells the reader what they need to know before reading your argument. It
should answer several questions:
 What is the topic and focus of this essay? (i.e. the context for this essay)
 What is the main issue or point that will be discussed in your essay?
Although this is only a short paragraph, there are varying approaches to how to write it, which appear
to cause quite a lot of confusion. Because of this, there are some recurring problems. The first three
have one common thread: getting started.
Problem 1 – Misrepresenting the question
Many people are so keen to get started in their writing that they quickly skim read the test question.
This can mean that they jump to a conclusion about what it means, or misinterpret it, and then
misrepresent it in their introduction. The ideas in their body paragraphs then move further and further
away from the issue raised in the question, compounding the problem. Some candidates identify only
the broad general topic within the question and write about this instead of the very specific issue they
were asked to discuss.
Problem 2 – Making a general statement
Some people tell me, ‘ I like to begin with a general statement .’ The danger here is that these are so
general that they do not seem relevant to the issue raised in the question. Others begin their essays
in a very rehearsed way that is often not accurate. For example, ‘ This is an often debated topic .’ Or ‘
This is a controversial topic ,’ when in fact the issue in the question is not a common topic of
conversation, or is rather mundane.

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Problem 3 – Trying to use a ‘hook’
People sometimes ask me about beginning an introduction with a ‘hook’, such as an interesting fact or
statistic. Hooks are used by professional writers to grab the attention of the reader. Your examiner
does not need to be persuaded to read your answer, and they do not need to be entertained by your
writing. Even more importantly, a hook can seem out of place in a formal discursive essay, and they
often seem irrelevant to the question.
Solution 1: Read the test question carefully
Although it is the first paragraph in your essay, your introduction should not be the starting point of
your writing; you need to think carefully about the question, then think through and plan your whole
argument first. You will never be asked to simply discuss a very broad topic such as ‘pollution’ or
‘technology’, so keep reading until you have fully understood exactly what issue you are being asked
to write about.
Pay particular attention to the words and phrases in the question that indicate the claim or argument
that is being made, because this is what you must respond to in your answer to achieve a good Task
response score. Typical words and phrases to look out for are:

should; should always; should not; would be better; the only way; the best way, etc.
If there are any words in the question you do not know, read the whole question again more slowly.
Skilled test writers try to help you understand important words or ideas, either by giving an example,
or using paraphrase, so take the time to look for these clues. Look at the following example:

Some candidates might not know the phrase ‘ to teach right from wrong’ , so the second sentence
paraphrases this idea with ‘ teach children to behave well ’, helping to explain it. This is done
deliberately at the test writing stage, so make sure you use all of the help that is there in the question.

Solution 2: Begin with a general statement

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Your first sentence should introduce the broad topic and thus set the context for your essay. Although
this is quite a general statement, it should still be relevant to the question and to your argument (this
is why ‘hooks’ generally do not work well).
Accurately identifying the general topic in the question is an important first step. With test question we
saw earlier, the general topic is not ‘being a parent’ or ‘teaching’, it is much narrower than this:
‘teaching children to behave well.’ So, a general statement for this essay topic would be:
It is important for children to learn how to behave well.
Note that my essay would then need to go on to show that this is ‘ important ’. Many people worry
about copying words and phrases from the test question like this, which brings us to the next common
problem.

Problem 4 – ‘Translating’ the words in the question

Having set the overall context in your first sentence, the next sentence will introduce the reader to the
issue that is going to be discussed. Many people already know that you should avoid copying directly
from the question, but then go too far by substituting each word with a synonym. This can feel like a
bad translation and often results in unnatural language. Doing this can also change the meaning. For
example, ‘ teenagers ’ is not an exact synonym of ‘ children ’ and ‘ must ’ is not a synonym of ‘ should
’.
Solution
Although it is true that you should not copy large parts of the question, this does not mean you have
to avoid all of the words, which may have been used because they are the most appropriate or the
most natural. For example, ‘ Some people ’ is the most natural way to talk about an anonymous
group; we don’t use ‘ Numerous individuals ’ or ‘ humans ,’ in the same way. Similarly, ‘ teachers ’ is a
better word to use than ‘ educational scholars ’ and ‘ children ’ is more natural than ‘ youths’ .
Rather than translating the words in the question, aim to interpret the overall meaning as precisely as
you can. It can sometimes help to change the statement you are given into a question. This has the
additional advantage of making your task clearer. For example, we can rephrase the current writing
task as follows:
Should parents be responsible for teaching children right from wrong, or
should schools also teach children to behave well?
Looking in more detail at our test question can also help.
Identifying common themes
As well as identifying the general topic and the issue in the question, it is also helpful to identify who
or what the question is focusing on. For example, with this essay question, our answer should focus
on children, parents, teachers, and schools . We can go further than this and think about common
themes. With a topic such as ‘teaching children to behave’, when writing our response, it would be
natural to include ideas about parenting , childhood education , and discipline . These are common

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themes that will occur when discussing a topic like this. These may not occur to you until you are
planning, which is why you should not write your introduction until you have fully planned out your
answer.
As we will see later, identifying themes like this before you begin helps in both your planning and your
writing. It can also help in paraphrasing the question, providing some different vocabulary to use.
Paraphrasing
Instead of avoiding every word in the question, we can rearrange them, or change the structure or
form of the words (e.g. changing ‘ teaching children ’ to ‘ children should be taught ’ and ‘ schools ’ to ‘
at school ’). We can also use more general words than those used in the question (e.g. ‘
accommodation ’ instead of ‘ house or flat ’; ‘ education ’ instead of ‘ schools should teach ’). Words
like this can often come from identifying common themes.

Problem 5 – Making an argument within your introduction

As well as explaining the issue in the question, some candidates also give an outline of their
argument in their introduction. This appears to be a US or Canadian convention, but it is becoming
increasingly common. Outlining your overall position in this way is done through what is known as a ‘
thesis statement’ . However, many people present a mini argument rather than a brief overview. This
not only produces a very long first paragraph, but it also leads to repetition, because the same
argument must be explained in the body paragraphs, and then summarised in the conclusion. I was
recently told that some candidates are doing this deliberately, because they are concerned they will
run out of time to write a conclusion. The result is a confusing mix of introduction, argument, and
conclusion, which means you will not show the paragraphing skills needed for band 7 Coherence and
cohesion.

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Solution
If you decide to include a thesis statement in your introduction, you need to:
 be fully aware of your position and main argument before writing it
 give only a brief overview of your thesis (in one sentence)
 make sure your thesis accurately reflects the argument you will make in your body paragraphs

Problem 6 – Ending your introduction

Some candidates finish their introduction with a sentence that paraphrases the final question in the
writing task. For example, ‘ In this essay I will discuss these two views before giving my own opinion’ .
This copies the words in the task almost exactly, which is not a good idea. Others draw attention to
the writing process in a different way: ‘ I will now prove that…’ Again, this is unnecessary – your
examiner knows why you are writing; in your introduction, they just want to learn what you are writing
about.
Solution
Don’t paraphrase the question itself, only focus on the topic and the issue that will be discussed. Aim
to write in a less personal way – keep the focus on your essay, not on yourself as the writer. For
example, it is better to write: ‘ This essay will discuss …’ instead of ‘ In this essay I will discuss… ’.

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II - The Body Paragraphs

Your body paragraphs are made up of sentences that connect together to form one unit; each
sentence is rather like a small building block that helps create one larger building block within your
overall argument. The reader should be able to identify the central topic from your first and last
sentences, and this same topic should be reflected in the sentences in between, which each serve to
explain and support your main ideas.

Look at how the first and last sentences from the band 9 paragraph in Lesson 8 do this:

Problem 1 – A lack of a clear argument and clear central topic

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In many of the band 6-6.5 body paragraphs, these smaller blocks (the evidence and support) are
either missing or unsuitable. If you produce paragraphs like this then your argument will not stand up
to scrutiny, your position will not be clear, and your reader will be confused.

A paragraph structure like this will not produce a strong overall argument – each idea will remain
unclear and there is no clear central topic. Remember, the way that you structure your paragraphs, as
well as the way that you connect your ideas, will determine how clear the progression of your
argument is, and affect your Coherence and cohesion score.
Problem 2 – Long confusing sentences

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Many band 6.5 paragraphs contain very long sentences. Some candidates believe that complex
grammar is important and that this is best shown within a long sentence. To achieve this, high-level
words are added and several ideas are joined together to make the sentence longer. A sentence can
perform more than one function, but sentences that try to do too many things at once are often
confusing for the reader.
Solution
Aim to communicate your ideas and your argument as clearly as possible – don’t put grammar and
vocabulary before Task response and Coherence and cohesion. Vary the length of your sentences to
make it easier for the examiner to read and, when developing a body paragraph, try to be aware of
why you are writing. Think of each sentence as serving a purpose within your argument.
Think of each sentence in your paragraph as having a clear purpose. For
example:
 Introducing an argument – (presenting your main central idea)
 Giving a reason for believing a conclusion you have reached
 Showing an effect (to help support your conclusion)
 Explaining or expanding (to clarify your context, a key term, or an
idea)
 Giving an example (to support your conclusion)
 Concluding an argument or paragraph (summing up the main idea
and showing how it links to the question)

Problem 3 – One paragraph is more successful than another

Each paragraph is just one building block within your whole essay. To score band 7 or above, you
must maintain the same level of control throughout your essay. One of the biggest problems I see is
that candidates at band 6.5 lose the overall thread of their argument. The first body paragraph
presents a clear well-explained argument, but the second body is unclear or confusing, it may go off
on a tangent, or simply repeat the same main points. This is often caused by beginning to write too
soon.
Solution
The reader needs to be able to follow the logic of your overall argument from paragraph to paragraph.
The first and last sentences should help with this, forming a map of your overall argument. These
sentences are also a very useful way for you to check whether you have ‘ addressed all parts of the
task ’ (band 7 Task response). Take the time to think and plan your paragraphs carefully before
starting to write.

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III- The Conclusion
The conclusion of your essay should summarise the main points in your argument and make your
overall position clear. It is at this point that you should also make sure to clearly answer the question
in the task.
Problems
The biggest problems in conclusions are:
conclusions that are too short (often one sentence only)
summarising only one idea rather than the main points in the argument not answering the question
(i.e. not saying to what extent you agree / disagree etc.)
introducing a new idea that has not been discussed or mentioned earlier
This last point may come from attempting to mimic academic writing papers by suggesting possible
future implications or outcomes. Other essays finish with a general statement on the topic, and you
may find examples like this in practice test books. Although this can be an effective way to finish an
essay, it requires a great deal of skill, so this is not something I recommend. In fact, doing this can
often result in the introduction of a new idea or theme that needs to be explained further.
Solution
Make sure to write at least two sentences in your conclusion. The first should summarise the main
ideas in your argument. To help with this, look back at the first and last sentences in each body
paragraph and summarise these. In your final sentence, make sure to answer the question you were
given. In other words, make it clear whether you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages;
whether this is a positive or a negative development; or the extent to which you agree or disagree etc.
At the end of your essay, you do not need to refer to future possibilities or make future predictions,
only attempt this if you are confident that you can do so without introducing a completely new idea
that will seem out of place and underdeveloped.
Words and phrases I would expect to find in your conclusion are:
To sum up, ; In conclusion, ; Therefore, ; I completely agree / disagree ; In my view, etc.

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 EXTRA PRACTICE

Look back through your previous task 2 answers and examine the overall structure of each of the
following elements in your essays:
Introductions:
 Did you introduce the general topic?
 Compare your introduction to the original question – did you paraphrase the idea or translate
the words into synonyms?
 Does your introduction accurately reflect the question?
 If you wrote a thesis statement, did you give a brief, one-sentence overview of your position?
 What changes would you make? Practise writing a new version.
Body paragraphs:
 Look at the first and last sentences of each body paragraph – do these form a frame for the
argument in the paragraph? Do they give a map of your overall argument?
 Are they repeating the same main idea or does each paragraph cover a new main idea?
 Do the main ideas relate to different parts of the question and show that you have covered all
parts of the task?
 Practise rewriting the argument in one or more of your paragraphs.
Conclusions:
 Do you typically write one sentence only?
 Did you sum up your main ideas or only one of them?
 Did you remember to answer the question?
 Did you write a final sentence that introduces a new idea that should be deleted?
 Practise rewriting one or more of your conclusions.

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 LESSON 10
DEVELOPING THINKING AND PLANNING SKILLS
I- Getting ideas - developing thinking skills
II- Planning
III- A step by step guide to essay writing

I- Getting ideas - developing thinking skills

Thinking of ideas to write about is something that many students struggle with. Faced with a writing
task about going abroad to study a new language, a Japanese student asked me, ‘ How am I
supposed to know about that ?’ This way of thinking is wrong – you aren’t expected to immediately
‘know’ the answer to the question. Try to see task 2 as closer to a maths question like this one: ‘If
3x+2=14, what is x?’ In algebra, you must use what you know about numbers and apply mathematical
thinking to reach a logical conclusion about ‘x’. Similarly, in IELTS, you must use what you know about
life and the world to think about an issue you may not have considered before, and then reach a
logical conclusion about it.
Training yourself to think
Many people tell me their mind often goes completely blank when they look at the task 2 question. To
solve this problem, you need to train yourself to think in the right way. Your ideas will come from your
knowledge and experience of the world, so reading widely is a good idea. Keeping up with current
affairs can help counteract any lack of first-hand experience, and will also help you to understand how
societies in other countries function.
Remember, writing is more difficult than speaking because there is no examiner to prompt you with a
new question, or ask you to explain something that is not clear. Thus, in the writing test, you must play
this role yourself. To put this idea into practice, look at the question I mentioned above:

As with all complex questions, you will not have an immediate 250-word answer to this question. No
matter what your level is, the first thing you must do is think.
Using what you know to deal with the unknown

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If you have not travelled abroad to study a new language, then you need to begin by imagining it.
Picture yourself living in another country, without your friends and family, and without all of the things
you have around you now. Is this a happy image, a sad one, or a little of both? What makes the image
sad? Could you afford to do this? If you are still not sure, think of anyone you know who has done this
or plans to do something similar. What are their main reasons for wanting to travel abroad? What can
they find or achieve there that they cannot find at home?

Brainstorming and why this leads to a common problem

This way of generating ideas is called brainstorming, but we mustn’t confuse this with planning. If we
begin writing now the result will be a list of ideas rather than a clear argument. Furthermore, it is very
easy during the thinking stage to get carried away with one idea.
When planned this essay, look at the list of ideas I wrote down in the disadvantages column. Looking
back at the question, can you see something that might be ‘less fully covered’ if I begin writing now?

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Notice that all of these ideas are about living abroad, but the question asks us to discuss going
abroad to learn a new language . If you finish this paragraph with a sentence that links back to the
idea of ‘ learning a new language ’, that will seem confusing. This is a very common problem in the
band 6.5 essays.

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II- Planning

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The outline

More detail:

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III A step-by-step guide to essay writing
Building skills not testing skills We
will use the previous essay question to demonstrate the key features of the planner. Before we begin,
print off one or two copies of the planner, or sketch it out yourself, and practise using it during this
lesson. Use one for your own ideas and the other to follow along with my plan if you like.
Our aim here is to build the skills needed to develop an argument. We will be using critical thinking to
gather evidence and to reach logical conclusions about what the evidence tells us. We are not testing
these skills at this stage, so we will go through the steps slowly. This may seem time consuming, but
you will be able to work faster once we have worked on a few more essays. The steps outlined below
can be remembered as T.P.W.C : T hink P lan W rite C heck.

Step 1: Think

As we saw in lesson 9, if you look at the writing task too quickly, you may make these mistakes:
 misinterpreting the question
 introducing irrelevant themes
 addressing only part of the question
 writing about the general topic instead of the specific issue raised in the question
To prevent this, begin by thinking carefully about the task and identifying the key details mentioned in
the previous lesson.
Identifying key details in the question
The introduction section of the planner reminds you to identify
1. the general topic,
2. the focus (who or what is affected by this?)
3. the issue you need to discuss,
4. any relevant themes, and
5. your initial position.

The general topic here is ‘ learning a foreign language ,’ and our essay will focus on the people who
do this. The issue is whether there are more advantages or more disadvantages of travelling abroad

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to learn a new language rather than studying at home. This means that our essay will discuss
problems and benefits associated with the themes of learning a language , and living and studying
abroad (and at home) .

Some common themes related to travel and living are: money, culture, family and friends .
Deciding on these themes now helps to:

 guide your thinking and generate more ideas

 reduce the risk of introducing irrelevant themes when you are writing
 create useful headings and organise your ideas when planning
Nevertheless, it is important to understand that you will be writing about these themes in the context
of the broad general topic. This means that, rather than writing about ‘ money ’, you will be writing
about ‘ money issues connected to learning a foreign language abroad ’. Thus, when you are
planning, always think, ‘ How is this theme relevant to the question ?
Deciding on your position
In the previous lesson, you should change the statement you are given into a question to help identify
the main focus and issue. Like this:
Do the advantages of travelling abroad to learn a foreign language instead of
studying in your own home town outweigh the disadvantages of doing this?
Thinking of your answer to this question helps to decide on your overall position. However, you have
found that my position sometimes changes as you think through your argument, so at this stage, just
make a note of your first reaction to the question and be prepared to change it later if necessary.

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 EXTRA

As you can see, the initial position here is that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Nevertheless, you need to reserve judgment until you have examined all of my evidence. In
brainstorming, we are gathering that evidence. At this point, it also helps to make a note in the
conclusion section about the question you need to answer. This will remind you to be sure to address
this at the end of your essay.

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Step 2: Plan
The ideas you write next are the most important of all – these will create the body of your argument.
To ensure that your essay will ‘ address all parts of the task’ (Band 7 Task response), your body
paragraphs should represent the different sides or parts of your argument, and cover each of the
themes mentioned in the question. On the planner, the columns labelled ‘Side A’ and ‘Side B’ are used
for this.

As this essay will discuss ‘advantages’ and ‘disadvantages’, these will be our two sides here. You can
begin with the weaker argument and finish with the stronger one (the one that supports my view), so
you will plan the disadvantages first. Decide which order is better for your own plan.

Making connections
When brainstorming earlier, we used our imagination to picture living in another country, and we
thought in a personal way about the issue: how it affects you as a person, others in your family and so
on. This is a good way to get ideas, and some of them may provide useful supporting evidence. Next,
we need to evaluate this evidence and find a way to create an argument from it. Using our themes as
headings, look at my list of disadvantages and try to organise these under the headings of living

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abroad, learning a language, money, family and friends, and culture . Cross out any ideas that are not
relevant or helpful.

Focused thinking
Next, we need to find connections between these ideas and reach some conclusions about what they
show or prove. From the earlier lessons, we know that an argument is made by drawing conclusions,
giving, adding, or explaining our reasons, showing the effects or cause of something, looking at
contrasting ideas, and perhaps speculating about possible outcomes. Here are some useful questions
to ask about the ideas you have:

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Try to remember these questions – write them on your question paper to help you in the test.

Remember, everyone’s perspective is different, so the ideas in your plan will be personal to you; they
will reflect your values (what you see as good or bad, right or wrong) and they will also reflect your
personal experience, circumstances, and feelings. Someone living in a hot climate, who is going to a
cold country to study, may put ‘weather’ in the ‘disadvantages’ column, while someone living in a
different climate might see this as an advantage. Neither is ‘right’ or ‘better’– the issue is not the idea
itself, it is whether you can make a clear case for seeing the weather as an advantage or
disadvantage. If you try to invent ideas and opinions to please the examiner, you will struggle to
explain them clearly.
Disadvantages
Money
 What would you need to pay for?
 Do you have enough money? Does everyone?
 What effect would this have?
Friends and family
 How would you feel about being away from friends and
family?
 Why? What effect would this have?
Culture
 What other things would you miss from home?
 What effect would this have?
Language learning
 Do you think you could learn the new language easily?
Why/
 why not?

To reach a conclusion about what your ideas show, try to think in a broader, more general way. For
example:
Personal answer: I would miss my family a lot and feel lonely.
More general idea: Studying abroad means living away from your family, which
can make people feel lonely.

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These general ideas will be your main points – the ideas you need to make clear in your essay
through your explanations, and by showing why you believe them. Keep going until you have several
different main points, and enough evidence to support them and make them clear.

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Notice that I have added the symbols we used in earlier lessons to show how I will connect these
ideas. I have also circled my main points, which came from the evidence I had gathered – I did not
make a point and then invent an example for it. Circling these main ideas makes them stand out,
which will help when I’m writing, but it also helps with the rest of my planning. Do the same for the
main ideas on your plan.
So far, we have expanded on our initial ideas, looked for connections between them, deleted
irrelevant ideas, and grouped the ideas together logically, according to themes. Each of these steps
represent the critical thinking stage that is so often missed.
This essential stage helps to:

 get rid of any irrelevant ideas (TR)

 make sure all parts of the task are covered (TR)
 plan the structure of your argument (TR) + (CC)
 organise your ideas logically (CC)
 explain your ideas in a coherent way (CC).

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One central topic
Now we can think about the first and last sentences for this paragraph.

The first sentence must signal our main topic, and with an advantages and disadvantages essay
question, this is relatively easy to do. We have a list of disadvantages, we were able to think of more
than one, and they all seem significant, so a logical first sentence for this paragraph is:
There are several key disadvantages to going abroad to study a language.

To help with the final sentence of the paragraph, look back at the question and at your headings and
themes, which neatly sum up your main ideas. Remember, your final sentence should show how the

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ideas in this paragraph relate, or link, to the question you were given. Can you think of a suitable way
to conclude this paragraph that makes the link clear?
The disadvantages of studying a language abroad may interfere with learning.
These are just a rough draft; when you am writing, you may adjust this to avoid repetition or to make a
connection clearer.

We now need to repeat this process for the advantages column. Viewing the plan of your paragraphs
side-by-side is helpful here because it means you can:
 check whether your argument will be well-balanced
 quickly compare the two sides to review your position
 gather ideas to refute the previous argument

This last point is especially important. If your overall position is that the advantages outweigh the
disadvantages, then the ‘disadvantages’ represent the counterargument to your argument. Look back
at lesson 7 to review this idea. In order to make your position clear throughout , you might concede
some of the points made in your disadvantages paragraph, but your should be able to refute most of
them to present a strong argument in favour of going abroad to learn a language. If you can’t then you
will probably need to rethink my position.

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 Practice
On your planner, think of ideas for the next paragraph using the following steps:
1. In your advantages column, write out the same headings as before (our themes)
2. Look at the disadvantages you wrote and make a note of any relevant counterarguments – for
example, what could be a relevant counterargument for the idea that you need to have money
for food and accommodation etc, or that you might feel lonely? (What would you do to solve
these problems in your town?)
3. Look back at your earlier list of ideas and ask questions to help you expand these ideas (e.g.
What effect will this have? How? Why?)
4. Think about how to connect your ideas and use symbols to show these connections
When you have done this, compare the ideas you have in the advantages and disadvantages
columns:
1. Are there enough ideas for each paragraph?
2. Do you need to delete or replace any ideas? (e.g. remove any ideas that are irrelevant or
illogical)
3. Are the ideas in your advantages column strong enough to show that these outweigh the
disadvantages? (or vice versa depending on your overall position)
4. Think of a first sentence that makes the central topic clear.
5. Look back at the question. Think of a final sentence that concludes your paragraph and makes
the link to the question clear.

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 In the advantages column, you will notice that I use ‘Yes, BUT…’ to show contrasting ideas that
will help me concede and refute a point, thus making my own position clear throughout. I often use
‘BEC’ as a shorthand for because – try to think of other shorthand forms like this that you can use
when planning. Again, I have circled my conclusions or main points, which helps me to see if I
have enough evidence to support them and make them clear.
Now that this step is done, I can write notes for my conclusion using the main ideas and final
sentences of each paragraph to help. Do the same on your own plan.

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Step 3: Write
Before we begin this step, it is a good idea to review your argument and position.
Look at your completed plan and ask yourself the following questions:
 Are there enough ideas on each side to produce a balanced essay?
 Is the organisation logical or do I need to move any ideas or change the
numbering?
 Does this argument answer the question?
 Does this argument support my initial position or do I need to alter my position in
my conclusion (and the thesis statement)?

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When you are happy with the balance here, you can refute the counterargument and make a very
strong case for the advantages of learning a language abroad. More importantly, you arenow very
clear in your mind about my argument, your position, and your main conclusions, which will make
writing your essay easier.
The completed plan can almost be seen as a rough first draft. Having finished it, you can now think
about the best way to express your ideas as you write. To get started, get an overview of your
argument. you can see that this essay will present the factors that have an impact on the success of
travelling abroad to learn a language, so this is a nice idea to include in my introduction. This shows
why you should not write your introduction until you have planned out your argument. Think of a
similar overview sentence to help with your introduction.
The body paragraph plans will help you craft a clear argument, and ensure that each paragraph
serves as a useful building block within your essay. Your conclusion will begin by summing up the
main ideas in the argument (which you have circled) and the final sentences in each paragraph will
also help with this. Again, you may need to use paraphrase or synonyms to avoid repetition . Using an
umbrella term can help with this. An umbrella term helps to group similar ideas together, as these
images show:

For example, an umbrella term for the ideas of ‘ need to pay for flights and accommodation ’ and ‘ it
might be expensive ’ would be ‘ financial issues ’. Finally, looking back at the planner also reminds me
that I need to be sure to answer the question.
Time yourself as you write out a complete version of your essay. Follow your plan as closely as
possible, and make any necessary changes to link your ideas clearly and to avoid repetition. Don’t try
to ‘boost’ the level of your language, just aim to write in a clear, logical, and natural way.

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You should find that the work you have done so far makes writing easier and faster. This shows just
how much of the writing process involves thinking and planning. In the past, you may have tried to
save time in your planning so as to have more time for writing, hopefully you can now see that
planning is writing.

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Step 4 Check
The final stage is to check your writing. Thanks to the time you have invested in planning this
argument, at the checking stage, you can focus on removing repetition, correcting language errors,
and making your ideas clearer.
When you have finished, read your essay aloud to help you spot any language errors, and to make
sure your explanations are clear. This is also a good way to check punctuation problems. The main
problem candidate at band 6.5 is an overuse of commas, so try to notice how I use these in the model
answers. For the moment, try only using a comma when there is a natural pause, or when you need
to pause to take a breath, when reading aloud.
Finally, count your words to get a general sense of the word-length you usually produce. This will save
you time in the test. Regardless of whether you are given a word limit, try to make sure your essay is
at least 250 words – You do not can present a well-developed argument in less than this.
Model answer
Model answer
Learning a new language can be challenging. While many people are able to do this in their own
country, some choose to travel abroad to help with their studies. There are advantages and
disadvantages to this.
The disadvantages of doing a language course overseas are significant. Firstly, there is the cost to
consider. As well as flights and tuition fees, money is needed for day-to-day expenses, such as food
and accommodation. Indeed, it may be too expensive for many. In addition, living away from family
and friends can lead to loneliness, and being surrounded by a strange new culture can increase this
sense of isolation. Such problems can even be severe enough to interfere with learning, thus
defeating the object of the trip.
Nevertheless, these issues can generally be resolved, and there are definite rewards to studying a
language in the country where it is the mother tongue. Although it may be expensive, students can
get a part-time job to help meet their needs. Through work and school, they can socialise and make
friends, and are likely to feel less homesick as a result. Any new culture feels strange at first, but it is
also exciting and creates a much richer language learning experience; for example, through being
able to enjoy the literature and music of the country. Furthermore, the access to native speaker
teachers, and the total immersion in the language means it is possible to reach a far higher level than
in your home town. Clearly, there is a lot to be gained from an opportunity like this.
To sum up, although some may struggle to adapt to the new culture and deal with financial issues,
those who overcome these problems will undoubtedly be enriched by this invaluable experience.
Therefore, in my view, the potential benefits more than make up for any disadvantages.

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 Extra practice
Look back at one or two of your completed essays. Focus in particular on the planning you did, and
the effect your planning had on your argument and overall response to the task. Did you ‘address all
parts of the task’ equally, or did you address one part only partially?

Try to identify the themes you introduced and discussed in your essay. Write them down to help you
track the development of your argument and ideas then consider the following:
 Did you introduce themes that are not relevant to the issue in the question?
 Did you ignore themes or spend too little time on themes that are relevant to the question?
 Try to identify why you do this – is it a lack or planning or a lack of thinking about the question?

Make a new plan for one of your essays using the planner, then write the new essay and compare it
to your original. Use the same Think Plan Write Check ( T.P.W.C ) approach that we used in this
lesson.

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 SECTION TWO TEST PRACTICE:
APPLYING TASK 2 WRITING SKILLS

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