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a RISUS Bestiary
by Ryan Gigliotti

Being a humble provision to the

Risus Community of more monsters to
outwit, kill, sneak past, and otherwise
engage in the full glory of Risus
Combat.
BLOB OF EYES BOG TROLL
Description: This creature is a hideous mass of semi-liquid flesh, Description: Bog Trolls are very large humanoids with thick,
covered with dozens, if not hundreds, of eyes. The eyes are of many warty skin, sloped foreheads, and large, bulbous noses. Most stand
different shapes, sizes, and colors, and appear as if they could have over eight feet tall and bulge with muscle. Bog Trolls are greatly
come from any number of creatures. The eyes are continuously feared in combat for their strength, but also for their ability to take
moving and rearranging as the thing moves, but eyes never appear in super-human levels of punishment. Some attribute their resistance
matched pairs. to regeneration or amazing healing abilities, but in truth, their thick
bodies have many redundant organs and at least three independent
In physical combat, a BoE clubs opponents with psuedopods, but circulatory systems. About one in three bog trolls are female (a ratio
this is not its only means of defense. Meeting the gaze of the Blob that keeps their numbers low), and approximately one in ten
—which is virtually impossible to avoid if one is looking in its females have limited magical abilities.
direction— causes victims to stand paralyzed and possibly even
petrify. Clichés:
Violent Swamp-Dwelling Humanoid (4)
Some species of Eye Blobs are known to be incredibly intelligent, Blood Thirsty Berserker (3)
capable of running underworld networks of crime. These Blobs
often have human minions to carry tasks that require social Axe Wielding Tribesman (3)
interaction. Big, Dumb, and Ugly (3)*
Swamp Fisherman (1)
Clichés:
Amorphous Mass (3) * Bog Troll Hags replace Big, Dumb and Ugly with:
Ruthlessly Intelligent Criminal Mastermind (3) Cunning Hedge Witch [3]
Paralyzing Gaze (4) --Go read S. John’s article on Hedge Magic right now. Right Now.
We’ll wait.... [Link]
Crunch:
Looking at a BoE causes a single action contest against the victim’s Crunch:
willpower cliché. If the Blob wins, its opponent is held motionless If you prefer to have your trolls actually regenerate, then simply
and must begin a health combat. If this combat is lost, the victim is eliminate the redundant clichés. Violent Regenerating Humanoid
permanently turned to stone. If the victim wins, the paralysis is (4) can be used in combat (of the Hack and Slash variety) normally,
broken and will not affect that individual for the rest of the day. but the Troll won’t lose dice if beaten, unless the conditions for
defeating it are met --usually fire and/or acid.

Another design considered for the redundant clichés:

Violent Swamp-Dwelling Humanoid (3)
These Dice Do Nothing Except Go Away Instead of the Other cliches (9)
--This method has the benefit of the dice being used for things
other than typical violence-combat, perhaps in ways the GM
couldn’t possibly predict in advance. The down side is the dice
being used for things other than typical violence-combat, perhaps in
ways the GM couldn’t possibly predict in advance....
DINOSAURS FIRE LION
BRONTOSAURUS (Apatosaurus) Description: Slightly larger than an actual lion, a Fire Lion appears
Gigantic Impassive Plant-Eater (6) to be somewhat reptillian. Its brown, muscular body is low to the
ground, and the head is ringed with a blazing fire resembling a
YOUNG BRONTO mane. Scholars believe this creature to be an accidental creation of
Elephant-sized Overly Curious Plant-Eater (4) some sort, or perhaps some other-worldly being that does not
understand our dimension. Fire Lions are often encountered trying
to eat flammable objects. The Lion’s fire incinerates the erstwhile
T REX food, which causes the Lion to grow frustrated, which makes the fire
Big-ass Shark on Wheels (5) burn even hotter. This behavior seems to confirm that the Fire Lion
Keen Sensed Predator (3) is unaware of its own flame.

RAPTOR (Deinonychus) Clichés:

All Teeth and Claws (4) Thick-bodied Predatory Beast (4)
Smarter Than You Think (4) Unnatural Flame [3]

TRICERATOPS
Five Massive Tons of Pointy Faced Brutality (5)

Crunch:
Trying to take on any of the spectacularly large dinosaurs (or any
large monster) in hand to hand combat is suicide in “realistic”
campaigns (you know... realistic campaigns that have dinosaurs). If
the Plucky Boxer with a Mean Left Hook (3) decides to punch-fight
the Brontosaurus, he is in big trouble. If the clichés don’t match up
well, consider using something akin to the “When someone can’t
participate” rules. The boxer keeps his cliché, but the dino gets
two more dice, because it is much harder to KO than the boxer’s
typical opponent.
 So, maybe ten Howling Night Goblins become a Furry Mass of
HOWLING NIGHT GOBLINS Teeth and Claws (3) when they storm into a wide clearing. But in a
jungle or thick forest, at night, those same ten Goblins are in their
Description: Covered in thick, black fur, Howling Night Goblins element. Ten HNGs might became a Furry Mass...(4) or (5) in that
are greatly feared in the dark forests they inhabit. While individually instance. And remember, its hard for characters to count insane
viscious, they are most dangerous in the large groups in which they screaming monkey-things in the middle of a fight for their lives, so
hunt. there is no need to assign actual numbers.

While capable of manipulating objects with their hands, feet, or tail, GM: “There’s a huge mass* of Night Goblins pouring out of
HNGs rarely use tools. When hunting (which is almost the trees. They mean to eat you.”
continously), the Goblins rely on their eerie screech, which causes Player: “No sweat, the last batch** died real easy-like.”
the weak-willed to panic and behave irrationally. GM: “There’s a lot more this time.”
Player: “How many?”
Clichés: GM: “Three times as many? Maybe even more***. You
Furry Mass of Teeth and Claws (2) can’t help but feel terror in the back of your throat.”
Player(s): “Crap!”
Ear-Splitting Mind-Rending Screamer (2)
* Huge Mass = several dozen, maybe
Crunch: ** Batch = a dozen or so, perhaps
Because HNGs often hunt in packs, the GM should make liberal *** Even More = stop counting and get ready to eat hot monkey-
use of Grunt Squad rules. The Screamer cliché is used in combat death.
against a mental cliché. If the Goblin wins, the victim either freezes
in terror or runs in a direction chosen by the HNG... usually towards Decide how challenging you (the GM) want the encounter to be. If
a pack ambush. Grunt Squads have increased Screamer clichés as your PC group has several Reasonably Competent Combat Types
well as Furry Mass clichés. (4), and you want to scare them into cooperation, consider a Grunt
Squad with 5 or 6 dice in its cliché. The PCs will likely need to form
[A Sidebar] a Team to win the combat. If you just like combat for its own
Eyeballing Grunt Squads glorious sake, consider splitting the Grunt Squad into smaller Grunt
A creature like the Howling Night Goblin relies on the power of the Squads, one for each PC. Keep clichés closer to the PCs abilities.
Grunt Squad to challenge stronger clichés. But how many HNGs
are needed to increase Furry Mass of Teeth and Claws (2) to a (3) or
better? In a game like Risus there is no Hard-n-Fast formula, but [ End of a Sidebar]
this bestiary aims to be somewhat crunchy; so here are some
guidelines that attempt to be hard, or maybe fast, but probably not
both.

Consider the following:

Ratio of combatants – Number of HNGs per PC.
Terrain or other enviroment conditions that could be favorable to
either side.
What the Spoils of War will be if the NPCs win. The PCs rarely
know in advance.
SIRIUSIAN HOUND Comments
I love monster books. I love Risus. Hence, a Risus Bestiary.
Description: Holy schmoly, this thing is big. The Siriusian Hound I have a rather clear memory of being in the Fourth Grade, reading
is well over 20 feet high at the shoulder, with the proportional build the first edition Monster Manual, and then trying to write my own
of a stocky wolf. Thick black fur covers the Hound normally, monsters (in the Fourth Grade!). While creating stats for the bad
though when frightened (which isn’t often) or enraged, its fur guys from the “Joust” video game, I noticed that there was not really
changes color, becoming a firey red-orange. Jet black eyes any rhyme or reason to the way monster abilities worked. The writer
somehow manage to convey a wicked intelligence to those brave of each monster just included the rules needed for the creature in
enough to look into them. the stat block. I loved that idea. Total freedom for the writer to
wreak whatever havoc desired. Much like Risus. Of course, the
The Siriusian Hound is a harbinger of calamity. Even if the Hound difference is Risus allows players that same freedom. Look out
walks through a town without stopping to eat the locals, disaster will monsters!
surely follow. Tornadoes, violent thunderstorms, earthquakes, or
swarms of vermin inevitably arrive in its wake. Perhaps the Hound is This bestiary doesn’t really have any specific world or even
a warning from the gods, or perhaps it is somehow responsible for genre in mind. It sort of bubbled up through my brain and migrated
these catastrophes. Attempts to drive off the Hound with violence to a document via a keyboard. I suspect the overall tone of the
are sure to end poorly, as the creature has a most unusual defense.... creatures is somewhat gritty, but not necessarily realistic, and the
writing is kind of goofy, if that makes any sense. For some reason,
Clichés: when I look at fantasy monsters, I like to imagine how they could be
Massive Arcane Wolf (6) used in modern settings, and vice versa. Maybe that will help make
Symbol of Nature’s Wrath (4) some this stuff process for you. Good luck.
Wolf Pack (*)
A Slighty Crunchy Risus Bestiary is copyright 2005 by Ryan Gigliotti
Crunch:
Part One: The Wolf Pack (*) isn’t so much of a cliché, as it is a side Risus is a game system by S. John Ross that is brilliant in its
effect of the Massive Arcane Wolf cliché. If someone or something symplicity and execution. This PDF is an unofficial
wounds the Hound, the blood spilled becomes smaller (but still supplement for said game, and does not challenge anyone for
darn big) hounds. Essentially, these are Shield Mates. For every die ownership of Risus or other supplements. Especially not
lost from Massive Arcane Wolf in combat that would spill blood, a
Bear-Sized Hound (3) sprouts up. These immediately attack the Shrewd Ruthless Coporate Lawyers [8].
source of the injury, and fight until destroyed. A particularly evil
GM could band several together into a Grunt Squad. Find Risus at [Link]
Part Two: Symbol of Nature’s Wrath could be used in several ways. Thanks for listening.
A wizard, spell-caster, miracle worker, or super hero attempting to
avert a natural disaster must defeat the cliché with an appropriate
roll of the dice. Or perhaps the Hound could engage in some
combat, Symbol of Nature’s Wrath vs. the city/town/village’s Great
Place to Live (3) cliché. Be creative with this one....