Chapter 16
Mr. President
Somewhere In the foothills of the Chiahooska mountains
professors directions took them to a large rock in the middle of nowhere. It wasnt a hill or a mountain, but a rock - a huge rock that seemed to have been hewn to shape from some larger rock. As they drove up to it, a protrusion at the base sunk backwards and then to the side, revealing a passage. A large hallway with a slight decline.
The
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Jason looked at Veronica and then Delilah. They both nodded, and Jason rolled the van forward into the opening in the rock. With the headlights they could see where they were going and they drove forward. And so they did, for about 15 minutes and then, all of a sudden the passage stopped. They got out of the van and looked around. A door opened somewhere and a shaft of light illuminated the area. Yo, said a mans voice behind the door. Hello, Veronica called back. Are you here to see the president? Exactly, said Veronica. Is he like, in here somewhere? Come with me. They went through the door. On the other side of the door was another passage, smaller than the first one. The van surely wouldnt have fit in there. But it was plenty big for two people to walk side by side. There were little yellow lights near the ceiling and they were enough to show everybody where they were going. The dude who had opened the door was an army guy. Finally, Delilah thought to herself, a real army guy. Were safe. The army guy brought them to another door, and behind that door was a cylindrical room. Once they were all in there, the army man pushed a button and the room began to sink, slowly for a moment and then really fast. It was an elevator!
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After a minute or two, they stopped moving and the army guy again opened the door for them. Here you are, he said. They had arrived at the presidents underwater fortress. Inside it was pretty awesome but nothing special really. It was underwater sure, but it wasnt really a fortress. I mean it was no castle or anything, or anything from Star Wars. It had one photon-cannon on its underbelly and people who know about that stuff werent sure that the photon cannon would even work underwater. And the hull was just aluminum. You could punch a knife through it if you could hold your breath long enough to get down there. It was really just an underwater house. Which is still cool, my house in on dry land, totally generic
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They were brought into the presidents presidential meeting room. It was an exact replica of the oval office except the room wasnt an oval. There was some problem with the pressure of being that far under water, and an oval wouldnt work for some reason. So it was exactly like the oval office but it had weird protrusions and cavities. It looked really stupid actually. The president emerged through a hidden secret door looking disappointed. Thanks for coming, he said quickly The chair behind the desk spun around. Whos in that chair? Everybody wondered to themselves. Who could it be? It could be anybody 115
But it was Derek!
No frigging way! Veronica said out loud. Derek? Jason asked in disbelief. Delilah didnt say a word. She just stared and maybe a tear welled up in her eye. She walked over to him slowly and carefully, as if trying not to spook this specter of her sort-of-boyfriend. She reached out to him and gently, ever so gently, touched his shoulder with her hand fingers. She smiled. He was real. He smiled too. Hey, he said after a moment. Hey, she said back. It wasnt poetry, but their words carried all their feelings. They may just as well have recited one of Shakespeares most serious love poems. The president was quiet for a minute, but then he grew bored and started talking again. Derek and I were just talking about how it was that he came here, and he was talking about his experience with driving. Did you know he delivers pizza back in Indianapolis? The gang nodded. They had talked a little about it. 116
So on average, how many pizzas do you deliver in one night? The president was still interested in the whole thing. I dont know, it really depends. If Jenna frigging lost her glasses again and Im the only driver there, and theres like NCAA basketball on, I might do like 20 in five hours. Oh. I thought it would be more. Thats like one every 15 minutes. You think you could do more? 15 minutes is a long time. I mean all you have to do is drive to someones house, hand them the food, get the money, and get back to the store. Right. But there are places that take 15 minutes to get to. Im not arguing that with you, the president was annoyed that Derek was offended. The president thought he could totally do more than four an hour. Im saying that you probably do deliveries to the gas station guy down the street and the morbidly obese guy across the street. The president had some good points. It did only take a minute to get to Bens house. One time he had even walked the stuff over there, just to see how long it would take. I guess youre right, maybe if I had a faster car, Derek didnt really think it was time to argue about this. Exactly, thats what Im saying, the president seemed to feel he had won the argument, there are those other factors. I may not be the pizzaguy you are, but I think I could totally do more than one every 15 minutes. I mean, what if you had to go to the mall and there were like three orders going there! Right. Exactly, Derek agreed, angry. Delilah changed the conversation. On another note, how did you actually beat all those robot assassins?.. 117