PITY THE FOOL
by D. M. Larson
Characters:
SAGE
MARY
JEORGE
FRANCE
Setting:
Art museum
A man, Jeorge, hangs on the wall as a part of a modern art
piece. People walk through the gallery and look at the odd
pieces of modern art. A couple of women, Sage and Mary stop at
the man.
SAGE
What's this?
MARY
It's called "Pity the Fool."
SAGE
It's amazing. The man looks so lifelike.
MARY
It's like he could walk right out of the painting and talk to us.
Suddenly Jeorge's eyes pop open and the women are startled.
JEORGE
Do you have any water?
His eyes close again. Sage and Mary look at each other and then
the painting again.
SAGE
You heard that right?
MARY
Yeah.
JEORGE
Water.
SAGE
I'll get some water.
Sage leaves. Mary wants to follow and doesn't want to be left
alone.
JEORGE
Wait. Please.
Mary reluctantly stops. She looks around but is alone. She
cautiously returns.
MARY
What? Uh... who? I mean...
JEORGE
Why am I here?
MARY
Sure... let's ask that question.
JEORGE
This is my self-portrait.
MARY
Pity the fool?
JEORGE
Yes.
MARY
Well... it's working. I feel sorry for you.
JEORGE
Everyone does.
MARY
Oh...
Mary looks around nervously hoping Sage will return. Jeorge
climbs down off the background and sits at the edge of the art
looking very hurt and sad. Sage returns with some bottled water.
SAGE
Found some water.
Jeorge takes it from her and gives a weak smile.
JEORGE
Thank you.
Jeorge drinks and lets the water refresh him. Mary and Sage look
at each other and then at Jeorge nervously.
MARY
So uh... this is a self-portrait.
SAGE
You're the artist?
JEORGE
Yes.
SAGE
I have to say I've never seen anything like this.
JEORGE
It's a variation of the living statue idea.
MARY
So not original?
JEORGE
Not really.
They are all quiet for a moment.
SAGE
Well, I've never seen anything like it.
JEORGE
Then you haven't been out much.
SAGE
What? Look, we're trying to be nice.
JEORGE
Because you pity me.
MARY
That's what you want, isn't it?
JEORGE
How do you know what I want?!
Sage and Mary start to back away. Jeorge curls up at the bottom
of his art.
SAGE
Look. I think you're a little too much of a method artist.
Jeorge is starting to cry.
MARY
Is he crying?
SAGE
Let's get out of here before he totally flips out.
MARY
But he's so sad.
SAGE
It's some twisted performance art I think.
MARY
You have to admit. It's pretty original.
SAGE
Just because it is different, doesn't mean it's good.
Jeorge looks up sadly at Sage.
JEORGE
You... you don't think it's good?
SAGE
Let's go.
Sage tries to go but Mary doesn't leave.
MARY
I think it's one of the most interesting things I've ever seen.
JEORGE
You're just saying that to be nice. You don't really feel that
way.
MARY
I do. Really. Art is always so bland and two-dimensional. Your
work is so... alive... literally.
Jeorge gives Sage a pouty look.
JEORGE
She hates it though.
Sage gives him a dirty look and Jeorge gets sad and collapses
into his art.
MARY
Say something nice to him.
SAGE
What? No.
MARY
Do it.
Sage reluctantly goes up to Jeorge. Mary pushes her closer and
Sage slaps her hand away. Sage is next to him.
SAGE
Okay, I have to admit. This is the most unusual... (Mary pokes
her) ...different... most creative piece of art here tonight.
JEORGE (weakly)
Thank you.
Sage turns to Mary and pulls her away.
SAGE
Can we go now?
MARY
You go. I'll catch up in a minute.
SAGE
Whatever.
Sage leaves. Mary goes up to Jeorge and kneels down next to him.
MARY
What happened to you that inspired this?
Jeorge sits up slowly and looks up at his background.
JEORGE
It's a long story. Everything you see here represents something
that's happened in my life that has brought me to this point.
MARY
The images are stunning. I've never seen a work of art with so
much story to it. I could probably sit here for hours trying to
figure it all out.
JEORGE
Stay then.
MARY
I have to go... how long will you be... on display?
JEORGE
This is the last night. I'll hopefully be showing this in other
galleries though.
Mary gives him a business card.
MARY
I would like to see you... and your work again. Here's my
number. Call me when you're showing this again.
JEORGE
I will.
MARY
I better go. Great work on this. It's very moving.
Jeorge gives a weak smile and waves goodbye as Mary leaves. He
climbs back up into his original position. Frank enters and goes
up to Jeorge.
FRANCE
You got another number didn't you?
JEORGE
Yup.
FRANK
There has to be an easier way to pick up women.
JEORGE
What can I say. I'm a fool.
FRANK
Ain't that the truth.
THE END