Senior High School

NOT

Personal
Development
Quarter 2 - Module 7
Personal Relationship

Department of Education ● Republic of the Philippines

Personal Development – Senior High School
Alternative Delivery Mode
Quarter 2 - Module 7: Personal Relationship
First Edition, 2020

Republic Act 8293, section 176 states that: No copyright shall subsist in any
work of the Government of the Philippines. However, prior approval of the government
agency or office wherein the work is created shall be necessary for exploitation of such
work for profit. Such agency or office may, among other things, impose as a condition
the payment of royalty.

Borrowed materials (i.e., songs, stories, poems, pictures, photos, brand names,
trademarks, etc.) included in this book are owned by their respective copyright holders.
Every effort has been exerted to locate and seek permission to use these materials
from their respective copyright owners. The publisher and authors do not represent
nor claim ownership over them.

Published by the Department of Education – Division of Cagayan de Oro

Schools Division Superintendent: Dr. Cherry Mae L. Limbaco, CESO V

Development Team of the Module

Author/s: Shielamar L. Labiscase

Reviewers:

Illustrator and Layout Artist: Shielamar L. Labiscase

Management Team
Chairperson: Cherry Mae L. Limbaco, PhD, CESO V
Schools Division Superintendent

Co-Chairpersons: Alicia E. Anghay, PhD, CESE

Asst. Schools Division Superintendent

Members Lorebina C. Carrasco, OIC-CID Chief

Ray O. Maghuyop, EPS-Math (If math Modules, etc)
Joel D. Potane, LRMS Manager
Lanie O. Signo, Librarian II
Gemma Pajayon, PDO II

Printed in the Philippines by

Department of Education – Bureau of Learning Resources (DepEd-BLR)
Office Address: Fr. William F. Masterson Ave Upper Balulang Cagayan de Oro
Telefax: (08822)855-0048
E-mail Address: [Link]@[Link]
 Senior
Senior High
High School
School

Personal
Development
Quarter 2 - Module 7
Personal Relationship

This instructional material was collaboratively developed and reviewed

by educators from public and private schools, colleges, and or/universities. We
encourage teachers and other education stakeholders to email their feedback,
comments, and recommendations to the Department of Education at action@
[Link].

We value your feedback and recommendations.

Department of Education ● Republic of the Philippines

 Table of Contents

What This Module is About ................................................................................................................... I

What I Need to Know .............................................................................................................................. I
How to Learn from this Module ...........................................................................................................II
Icons of this Module ...............................................................................................................................II

What I Know ........................................................................................................................................... III

Lesson 1: Personal Relationship

What I Need to Know..................................................................................................1
What’s New: The People around Me ....................................................................1
What Is It: Personal Relationship ............................................................................2
What’s More: My Family, Friends and Significant Other’s Portrait .................4
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection ..........................................................................4

Lesson 2: Attraction, Love and Commitment

What I Need to Know..................................................................................................5
What’s In: The People I am attracted to ................................................................5
What’s New: Love Test .......................................................................................... ...6
What Is It: Attraction, Love, Commitment........................................................... ...8
What I Have Learned: Love Combination .......................................................... ..11
What’s More: Five Love Languages ..................................................................... ..11
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection ..................................................................... ...12

Lesson 3: Being Responsible in a Relationship

What’s New: Stoplight Analogy ............................................................................ .13
What Is It: Important Aspects for Healthy Relationships ................................ .14
What’s More: Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships ...... .15
What I Can Do: Journal Reflection ..................................................................... .15

Summary
Assessment: (Post-Test)
Key to Answers .................................................................................................................................... .19
References
What This Module is About

This is a very interesting module since the topic is about your PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP. The concept of relationship is very broad, complex and varies from
person to person. This module will provide information in understanding the concept
in meaningful and easier way. This aims to introduce the different types of
relationships depending on the nature of interaction.
Researchers have found that relationships are important to a person’s
happiness. The absence of close relationships can produce a deep negative effect
such as feeling worthless, powerless, and alienated. We can say that every
relationship has specific objectives or purpose that a person wishes to pursue, either
because of need, want, or desire. The very first meaningful relationship every person
encounters is with one’s mother. The mother-child relationship is already established
even before birth because of connection. The other connections a person encounters
will be tackled in this module.
This module contains varied activities that can help you build, become
responsible and maintain good relationship to your family, friends and significant other
by identifying the appropriate way of expressing your attraction, love and commitment
to them.
The following are the lessons contained in this module:
1. Personal Relationships
2. Attraction, Love and Commitment
3. Being Responsible in a Relationship

What I Need to Know

At the end of this module, you should be able to:

1. Discuss an understanding of teen-age relationships, including the acceptable
and unacceptable expressions of attractions. (ESP-PD11/12PR-Iii-9.1);
2. Express his/her ways of showing attraction, love, and commitment. (ESP-
PD11/12PR-Iii-9.2);
3. Identify ways to become responsible in a relationship. (ESP-PD11/12PR-Iii-
9.3);

I
How to Learn from this Module
To achieve the objectives cited above, you are to do the following:
• Take your time reading the lessons carefully.
• Follow the directions and/or instructions in the activities and exercises
diligently.
• Answer all the given tests and exercises.

Icons of this Module

What I Need to This part contains learning objectives that

Know are set for you to learn as you go along the
module.

What I know This is an assessment as to your level of

knowledge to the subject matter at hand,
meant specifically to gauge prior related
knowledge
What’s In This part connects previous lesson with that
of the current one.

What’s New An introduction of the new lesson through

various activities, before it will be presented
to you

What is It These are discussions of the activities as a

way to deepen your discovery and under-
standing of the concept.

What’s More These are follow-up activities that are in-

tended for you to practice further in order to
master the competencies.

What I Have Activities designed to process what you

Learned have learned from the lesson

What I can do These are tasks that are designed to show-

case your skills and knowledge gained, and
applied into real-life concerns and situations.

II
 What I Know

Multiple Choice. Select the letter of the best answer among the given choices.

1. This refers to the close connections between people, formed by emotional

bonds and interactions.
A. Personal Development B. Intimacy
C. Personal Relationship D. Commitment

2. Which of the following is appropriate to do in expressing your attraction to your

significant other?
A. Kissing B. Smiling at each other
C. Intimate activities D. Invading personal space
3. Which of the following influence the person to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them?
A. Physical Attractiveness B. Similarity
C. Proximity D. Reciprocity

4. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others who like
them back?
A. Physical Attractiveness B. Similarity
C. Proximity D. Reciprocity

5. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfil and live by agreements made with

another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect
serve as a guide to one’s behaviour and thinking
A. Passion B. Commitment
C. Attraction D. Attachment
6. It is described as the love-struck phase which is part of lust because it
involves focusing our attention to a particular person or desire.
A. Passion B. Commitment
C. Attraction D. Attachment

7. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is characterized by

intimate, non-passionate type of love with long term commitment.
A. Consummate B. Romantic
C. Companionate D. Fatuous

8. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is ideal and complete
form of love with intimacy, passion and commitment.
A. Consummate B. Romantic
C. Companionate D. Fatuous

III
9. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered as the
selfless or unconditional love.
A. Philia B. Agape
C. Storge D. Philautia

10. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a
healthy “self-compassion” love towards one’s self.
A. Philia B. Agape
C. Storge D. Philautia

11. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for your
family?
A. Storge, Agape, Philia B. Pragma Eros, Ludus
C. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia
12. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for
friendship?
A. Storge, Agape, Philia B. Pragma Eros, Ludus
C. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

13. Which of the following is an element of a healthy relationship?

A. One person make all the decisions B. Be disrespectful
C. Trust one another D. You are threatened
14. Which of the following is a good sign of a healthy relationship?
A. You are afraid of your friends temper.
B. Your friend is happy when good things happen to you.
C. Your friend threatens to hurt you
D. You friend makes fun of you.

15. Which of the following is a good sign of an unhealthy relationship?

A. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.
B. There is communication, sharing, and trust.
C. You feel fear in your relationship.
D. You feel safe to share secrets.

IV
V
 Lesson

1 PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP

What I Need to Know

Pre-historic humans were interacting already through different forms of

behaviour such as smiling, greeting each other, showing love, affection and loyalty, or
hunting food together. These were all necessary for their survival especially in the
group that you were belonged. The primary reason for the human beings to be
belonged is survival.
Today, belongingness still exists since it has many benefits such as having
support system when you need someone to share your sadness, happiness and other
concerns especially for the teenagers. In adolescence stage, teenagers begin to form
a sense of identity that involves shaping values and setting future goals. They develop
social skills and interact with the people around them. The nurtured relationships with
other people help us to survive. Hence, we need to understand the relationships
formed by the teenagers among the people around them.

What’s New

Activity 1: The People around Me

Draw a rectangle on blank sheet of paper. Connect three more rectangles as shown
below. Lists down the people you have close connections with and who considered
family, friends, or partner. You may draw or put pictures of them if you want.

FAMILY

PARTNER YOU FRIENDS

(if there’ any)

1
 What’s is it

As you have listed all the people in your life right now that you have close
connection, so let us know what this close connection that you have with them is.

Personal Relationship refers to the association and close connections

between people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions. These bonds often grow
from and are formed by mutual experiences. Teenagers commonly have relationships
with their family, friends and significant other. The changes in a teen’s physical and
cognitive development come with big changes in their relationship with family and
friends. In adolescence stage, a new understanding of one’s self occurs. This may
include independence, identity and self-esteem.

Family Relationships
Family is defined as “two or more persons who are related by birth, marriage,
or adoption, and who live together as one household.” It includes siblings and parents
who may with you as you grow up, and relatives such as grandparents, aunts, uncles,
and cousins who you may not see frequently.
Family bond plays a vital role in person’s well-being since it may form other
kinds of relationships such as friendships and romantic relationships. Having strong
family relationships is ideal although it doesn’t happen always. There should be love
and closeness. Parents and older relatives role is to guide discipline and support you
when needed. Arguments, disagreements, moments of anger and hurt are normal in
a family since you spend so much time together, and these are short-lived for families
still love and care about each other. There is an increase of arguments and conflicts
with parents when teenagers assert their independence and find their identity as adult.
These shall pass after teenage years.
In some families, there is little physical contact whereas in others, it is common
for family members to express affection by means such as hugging, kissing on the
cheek or forehead, patting the head or tousling the hair, patting on the back etc. It is
common for babies and younger children to be carried or held.

Friendships
Friends are the people who we are not related to but who we choose to interact
with. They are the people who we trust, respect, care about and feel that we can
confide in and want to spend time with. A friendship is a reciprocal relationship. Both
people must see each other as a friend for it to exist.
There are different degrees of friendship. You may find that you feel closer to
some friends than others. This is perfectly normal. Some friends, especially if they
have only been known for a short time or are not seen very often, may not be
appropriate to confide in about personal issues or concerns. You may find that you
feel more comfortable and able to confide in friends whom you have known for longer
or spend more time with.
Furthermore, friends who are very close and know each other well are referred
to as “best friends or close friends”. Some people have many friends, while others may
only have one or two. There is no right or wrong number of friends to have and

2
everyone is different. Good friendships are mutually respectful, supportive and share
common interests and ideas. It should be built on honesty, support and loyalty.
Some friendships can be close while some friends choose to greet each other
by hugging or kissing on the cheek, other friendships may have no physical contact,
or may simply shake hands. Romantic contact or Being intimate physically is not
appropriate in a friendship.

Romantic Relationships
A romantic relationship is when you feel very strongly attracted to the other
person, both to their personality and, often, also physically and should be reciprocated
by the other person in the relationship. A romantic relationship exists between a
boyfriend and girlfriend (in a heterosexual relationship) or a boyfriend and boyfriend
or girlfriend and girlfriend (in a homosexual relationship) or spouses (in a marriage) or
life partners (in a civil partnership or long-term unmarried relationship). People in a
romantic relationship often see each other and when apart will find ways to contact
each other by phone and the like. A romantic relationship is the closest form of
relationship in which, the two people who are involved will often describe themselves
as being attracted to each other and/or “in love”. They feel a strong connection and
bond to each other that they do not feel with anyone else, even close friends. The
bond is also exclusive and monogamous.
Arguments and disagreements occur in romantic relationships sometimes.
These arguments can be overcome through effective communication, understanding
and compromise. In other cases, if there are frequent arguments, the two people
involved my decide to end the relationship. Relationships can be of varying duration.
Some relationships quickly become apparent that the two people involved are not
compatible and do not want to spend their lives together, and so the relationship may
end after only a few months. In other cases, both may be together for many years or
may stay together for the rest of their lives.
Successful romantic relationships are built on love, trust, respect, support,
acceptance, shared interests and a desire for the two people involved to share their
lives together and end with marriage. For teenagers, various kinds of physical contact
are not appropriate. These include prolonged cuddling and holding, kissing on the lips
and sexual intercourse. Pre- marital sex is unacceptable.

What’s More
3
Activity 2. My Family, Friends and Significant Other’s Portrait

In silence, think about your family – the members, your friends, and significant other
(if there’s any), their current situations, and the quality of your relationships with them.
In a blank sheet of paper, divide the paper into three and draw or illustrate the portrait
of your family, friends and significant other (if there’s any). Remember that there is no
right or wrong illustration. Your illustration/ drawing should reflect how you perceive
your family, friends and your partner (if there’s any) and the relationship you have with
them right now. At the back of the paper, answer the following questions.

Guide Questions:
1. How did you feel when you were creating the portrait of your family? friends? Partner
(if there’s any)?
2. How easy or difficult was it for you to come up with the drawings/ illustration? What
made it easy? What made it difficult?
3. What new things did you realize or discover about your family/ friends/ partner (if
there’s any) after making your drawing?

What I Can Do

ACTIVITY 3: Journal Reflection

Use these guide questions to share your thoughts, feelings, and opinion about your
personal relationship.
1. What kind of relationship do you have in your family, friends, or partner (if there’s
any)?
2. What is your role in the relationship?
3. Are you satisfied with the type of relationship that you have with them?
4. Do you believe that your relationship with them can be improved?
5. In what ways can you help to improve your relationship with them?

4
 Lesson
ATTRACTION, LOVE
2 AND COMMITMENT

What I Need to Know

Every human being has his own way of expressing his attraction, love, and
commitment due to our different life experiences. When attraction between two
persons is discussed, it is often understood as based on physical appearance while
this might be true to a certain extent but there is more to attraction that we already
know.
According to Helen Fisher, attraction is primarily on physiology or certain
hormones that get attracted to others and is the first stage during the changes of
personality development which leads to closeness, love and commitment. But,
disappointments in relationships occur usually because of the misunderstanding about
the different ways of expressing their attraction, love and commitment. Thus, let us
explore how we can express our attraction, love and commitment to others.

What’s In

Activity 4: The People I am Attracted to

Write down the name of the person/s that best fit for each statement on the second
column and on the third column, elaborate/specify the reason/s of your attraction
similar to the statement given. You can answer as many as you can.

Example: I am physically attracted to (name of the person) because she has lovely
eyes and beautiful smile.

Statement Name of Reasons

Person/s
1. I like him/her because he/she is physically
attractive.
2. I am attracted to him/her because I am
familiar with him/her and we often see each
other.
3. I am attracted to him/her because we are
alike.

5
 4. I am attracted to him/her because we
have the same feelings or we like each
other.

What’s New

Activity 5: Love Test

Each item is a hypothetical situation that reveals psychological aspects of you.
However, the results are not necessarily true. When answering a question, do not
dwell too much on the item and simply write your answer that comes in your mind first.

Hypothetical Situation Answer

1. You are walking to your boyfriend's or girlfriend's house.
There are two roads to get there. A straight path that you will o Short
arrive quickly but is very plain and boring. The other is longer o Long
but full of wonderful and interesting sights. Which path will you
choose?
2. On the way, there are two rose bushes which is full of red
roses and the other is full of white. You pick 20 roses for your
loved one. What color combination will you choose? (Any
combination including all one color is fine.
3. You finally get to your boyfriend's or girlfriend's house. A o Do it yourself
family member answers the door. You can ask them to please o Ask a family
get your boyfriend/girlfriend or you can go yourself. Which do member
you do?
4. You go up to your girlfriend's or boyfriend's room, but nobody o Window sill
is there. You can leave the rose. Where will you out the roses? o Bed
5. Later, it's time for bed. Both of you sleep in separate rooms. o Awake
In the morning, when it is time for both of you to get up, you go o Asleep
into his or her room and check up on them. When you arrive, is
he or she awake or asleep?
6. Now it is time for you to go back home. Do you take the short o Short
but plain and boring road or the longer, sight filled road? o Long

6
 What’s is it

In the biological model of love as proposed by anthropologist Helen Fisher, love

can start with any of these three feelings: lust, attraction and attachment depending
on the person. Each involves different neurochemicals in your brain.

Three Brain Systems of Love or Stages of Falling in Love

1. Lust refers to an urge or desire that motivates us to partake in sexual activity.

2. Attraction is described as the love-struck phase. This is the stage when a person
loses sleep and appetite over someone and become excited to someone while
daydreaming of special person. It is part of lust because it involves focusing our
attention to a particular person or desire. Many factors influence attraction.

Factors of Attraction
a. Physical Attractiveness
It is one of the primary determinants of romantic attraction. Most people prefer
whom they consider physically attractive especially in the early stages of dating.
b. Proximity
People tend to get attracted to people who are geographically closer to them.
They are more likely to develop feelings of mutual familiarity with the people
who live close to us or go to school with us and increased level of comfort when
there is regular contact and no prior negative feelings.
c. Similarity
People pick partners who we have similarities with such as social class,
background, religious beliefs, age and education. The more attitudes and
opinions two people share, especially when they are similar, the more they will
want to do the same activities, and would create a strong bond between them.
d. Reciprocity
People like others who like them back. People feel indebted when someone
does something good for them and tend to reciprocate the action. The more we
are liked by someone they equally like, the more we behave in ways that
promote mutual feelings of liking.

3. Attachment is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to
another across time and space. It is when long-lasting commitments are exchanged.

7
 Robert Strenberg (1988) suggests that there are three main components of
love. Love relationships vary and it depends on the presence or absence of each of
these components.

Three Components of Triangular Theory of Love

1. INTIMACY is an intimate interpersonal relationship that involves physical or
emotional intimacy. It is characterized by friendship, familiarity, or romantic love.
It involves closeness, connectedness, and bondedness.
2. PASSION is an intense emotion, a compelling enthusiasm or desire for
something.
3. COMMITMENT is the attitude of someone who works very hard to do or support
something. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfil and live by agreements made
with another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect
serve as a guide to one’s behaviour and thinking. The easy ways to express your
commitment to your relationships is to show love and loyalty, respect and
appreciate others, convey honesty and trust, work as a team and compromise,
and disagree agreeably.

The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of love.
Types of Love Intimacy Passion Commitment Example
Nonlove No No No
Liking Yes No No Friendships
Infatuation No Yes No Experiencing love at first
sight or being obsessed
with a person
Empty Love No No Yes Stagnant Relationships or
Arrange marriage
Fatuous No Yes Yes Relationships motivated
by passion
Companionate Yes No Yes Relationships lacking
passion such as those
between family members
or close friends
Romantic Yes Yes No Being bonded
emotionally and
physically to another
person
Consummate Yes Yes Yes Complete love

8
 Love occurs not solely between romantic partners only. Humans can experience
different types of love in various relationships, such as with romantic partners, friends,
family and even strangers. Ancient Greeks studied love and denote each type by
giving each one a Greek name. Lee (1973) offers a theory love styles which are
derived from an analysis of writings about love through centuries.

1. PHILIA – Affectionate Love

It is a love that runs deep in true friendship. Love without romantic attraction and
occurs between friends or family members. It is called brotherly love when both
people share the same values and respect each other.

Ways to show this love:

 Engage in deep conversation with a friend.
 Exchange beliefs and imperfections with close friends.
 Be open and trustworthy
 Be supportive in difficult times.

2. PRAGMA – Enduring Love

It is a mature love that develops over time. Commitment and efforts are needed to
reach “Pragma”. Instead of “falling in love”, you are “standing in love” with the
partner by your side.

Ways to show this love:

 Continue to strengthen the bond of long-term relationships
 Seek and show effort with your partner.
 Choose to work with your partner forever.

3. STORGE – Familiar love

It is naturally occurring love rooted in parents and children, as well as best friends.
It’s an infinite love built upon acceptance and deep emotional connection. This love
come easily and immediately in parent and child relationships. It flows between
parents and children or childhood friends.

Ways to show this love:

 Sacrifice your time, self or personal pleasures.
 Quickly forgive harmful actions.
 Share memorable and impactful moments.
 Show gratitude towards the people close to you.

4. EROS – Romantic Love

9
 It is a personal infatuation and physical pleasure. It is a passionate love displayed
through physical affection.

Ways to show this love:

 Admiring someone’s physical body
 Engage in physical touch such as hugging and kissing but it is not
appropriate for you yet.

5. LUDUS –Playful love

Flirting and beginning stages of intimate love. It is a child-like and flirtatious love
found in the beginning. This type of love consists of teasing, playful motives and
laughter between two people.

Ways to show this love:

 Spend time together to laugh and have fun
 Exemplify childlike behaviour together.

6. MANIA –Obsessive Love

Obsessiveness or madness over a love partner is mania. It leads to unwanted
jealousy or possessiveness.

Ways to avoid this love:

 Recognize obsessive or possessive behaviour before acting upon it.
 Focus on yourself more than another person.
 Put trust into your relationships

7. PHILAUTIA –Self Love

It is having a healthy “self-compassion” love towards one’s self.
It is when you recognize your self-worth and don’t ignore your personal needs.
Self-love begins with acknowledging your responsibility for your well-being.

Ways to avoid this love:

 Respect, accept ad appreciate yourself.
 Create environment that nurtures your well-being.
 Take care of yourself like a parent would care for a child
 Spend time around people who supports you.

8. AGAPE –Selfless Love

It is an empathetic attitude of love for everyone and anyone. It is the highest love
to offer. It is given without any expectations of receiving anything in return. It is
considered as unconditional love.

Ways to avoid this love:

10
  Dedicate your life to improve the lives of others.
 Stay conscious of your actions for the good of humankind.
 Offer your time and charity to someone in need.
 Express unconditional love in any situation

What’s I Have Learned

ACTIVITY 6: Love Combination

Identify the perfect combination of different theory of love styles that can create
something beautiful on your connection with your family, friends and significant other.
Though there isn’t a perfect equation for every relationship, these combinations can
provide a perspective on how to work various types of love into your relationships.

Relationship Combination of Types of Love

Family ___________+____________+_____________
Friendship ___________+____________+_____________
Significant Other ___________+____________+_____________

What’s More

ACTIVITY 7. Love Language In The Family

This activity aims to help you realize your love language or the way you would usually
prefer to receive from and give love to your parents, friends and significant other. You
can take the “Love Language Personal Profile” based on Dr. Gary Cahpman’s The 5
Love Languages using this link [Link]

If you don’t have internet access, you can actually assess yourself, your family, friends,
and significant others of your love languages.

1. Words of Affirmation
“Actions don’t always speak louder than word”. Unsolicited compliments mean the
world to you. Wanting to hear “I love you” or other positive compliments you’re your
partner. And if you don’t hear it, then you might feel unloved. Insults can leave you
shattered and are not easily forgotten. You wanted to hear kind and encouraging
words that build you up.

2. Acts of Service
Doing nice things for other people and anything you do to ease the burden of the other
person are “acts of service.” Whether it’s changing someone’s oil, cleaning the house,

11
or giving a back rub, doing things to help make the other person happy is what this
one is about. Helping with homework can be an expression of love to you. The words
you wanted to hear is “Let me do it for you”.
3. Receiving Gifts
You value giving and receiving gifts and some do not. So, if you measure your
partner’s love by how many gifts you are given, then your love language is “receiving
gifts.” Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of the gifts wanted
on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. A missed birthday or a
thoughtless gift would be disastrous.

4. Quality Time
You measure the quality of love by how much time the other people want to spend
with you. If you don’t get enough “together time,” then you might feel unloved. Being
there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and
knife down, and all chores and tasks standby makes you feel truly special and loved.
Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be hurtful.

5. Physical Touch
A person whose primary language is physical touch is not very touchy. Hugs, pats on
the back, holding hand and thoughtful touches on the arm can show excitement,
concern, care and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect
or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Appropriate and timely touches
communicate warmth, safety and love to you.

What’s I Can Do?

ACTIVITY 8: Journal Reflection

Upon knowing the results, reflect and write in your journal the following:
1. Using the answer in activity 1, write your love language and the love languages
of your listed family members such as parents and siblings, friends and
significant other.
2. How you can further express your love to them?
3. List down the things on how you wanted to be loved and how you can share
your love to them.

12
 Lesson BEING RESPONSIBLE
3 IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

What’s New

ACTIVITY 9: Friendship Stoplight Analogy

Recognize examples of positive and negative behaviors related to healthy and
unhealthy relationships. The purpose of this activity is to explore relationships using
stoplight analogy. Color the circle corresponding to you answer.

RED – Stop! These are bad sign of relationship.

YELLOW – Caution! These are warning signs of relationship.
GREEN – Go! These are good signs in a friendship!

1. You are afraid of your 11. Your friend threatens to

friend’s temper. hurt you.
2. You enjoy being with this 9. You say that you agree with
person but you also enjoy your friends, even though you
spending time with other really don’t. You are afraid
friends. they won’t be your friend
anymore, if you disagree.
3. Your friend pressures you 10. You rarely get to plan what
to do things you do not want to the two of you will do together.
do.
4. Your friend tells you not to 12. You are nervous that if you
hang out with certain people. tell your friend something
personal, he/she will tell other
people at school.
5. You usually feel happy 13. Your friend is happy when
when you are with this person. good things happen to you and
celebrates your successes..
6. Your friends talks to you 14. Your friends sometimes
about his/her feelings. make fun of you.
7. Your friend criticises you or 15. Your friend respects your
people you care about. feelings and your opinions.
8. Your friend bullies and
makes fun of other people at
school.

13
 What’s is it

The situations given in the previous activity can all be applicable among your family
and significant other or partner. Learn to recognize examples of people who engage
in negative behaviors that lead to unhealthy relationships. These are some important
aspects for healthy relationships.

Important Aspects for Healthy Relationships

Adapted from Woititz, J. , Adult Children of Alcoholics
Mutual Respect Do I treat the other person as if he/she is of value?
Compassion Do I have genuine concern for the issues that cause the other
person concern?
Empathy To what degree am I able to allow myself to be open to what
he/she feels?
Understanding Do I try to understand the other peson, what they say or do?
Acceptance Can I feel I am okay the way I am? Do I accept him/her as
he/she is?
Honesty Is the relationship built on truthfulness, or are there games
involved?
Trust To what degree am I willing to let the other person know private
aspects of my thoughts, feelings, and life?
Good Can we talk freely about issues that are important to the
Communication relationships?
Do we know how to talk so we each are understood and
sharing is safe?
Consideration Am I mindful of the other person’s needs as well as my own?
Compatibility To what extent do we like and value the same things?
Mutual In areas of disagreement, are we able to agree or disagree?
Enjoyment
Personal Am I able to maintain my beliefs and sense of self as well as
Integrity offer my time and attention to the relationship?
Vulnerability To what degree can I let down my barriers and allow the other
person to see my perceived weaknesses, without fear of
negative reactions from them?

14
 What’s More

ACTIVITY 10: Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Divide your paper into two columns and identify healthy and unhealthy relationships

1. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.
2. You do not try to control each other. There is equal amount of give and take.
3. You feel sad, angry, scared, or worried.
4. There is communication, sharing and trust. You feel safe to share secrets.
5. You feel that you give more attention to them than they give to you. You feel
controlled.
6. You don’t communicate, share or trust.
7. You like to spend time together but also enjoy doing things apart.
8. You feel pressured to spend time together and you feel guilty when you’re both
apart from each other.
9. You feel the need to be someone that you are not.
10. It’s easy to be yourself when you are with them.
11. You respect each other’s opinion. You listen and try to understand their point of
view even if you don’t always agree with them.
12. You feel the need to be someone that you are not.
13. There is no fear in your relationship.
14. You feel there’s no respect for you or your opinion. You are not able to disagree.
15. You feel fear in your relationship.

What’s I Can Do

ACTIVITY 11: Journal Reflection

Upon learning to determine the ways to nurture you relationship to others, reflect and
write in your journal the following:
1. Assess your relationship with your family, friends or significant partner by
identifying the things that make it healthy and unhealthy.
2. Write possible ways on how you will change your unhealthy relationship to them
into healthy relationship (if there’s any).
3. What are the things you can possibly do or promise to yourself to become
responsible in maintaining the healthy relationship you have to other people?

15
Summary

1. Personal Relationship refers to the association and close connections between

people, formed by emotional bonds and interactions.
2. Different Types of Relationships: family, friendship, romantic relationships.
3. Three Brain Systems of Love or Stages: Lust, attraction and Attachment.
4. Factor of Attraction are physical attractiveness, proximity, similarity, reciprocity.
5. Three Components of Triangular Theory of Love by Robert Strenberg: Intimacy,
Passion and Commitment
6. The combination of the three (3) components can produce eight (8) types of
love: Nonlove, liking, infatuation, empty love, fatuous, companionate, romantic
consummate
7. Eight love styles name after Greek names:
 PHILIA – Affectionate Love
 PRAGMA – Enduring Love
 STORGE – Familiar love
 EROS – Romantic Love
 LUDUS –Playful love
 MANIA –Obsessive Love
 PHILAUTIA –Self Love
 AGAPE –Selfless Love
8. Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Cahpman
 Words of Affirmation
 Acts of Service
 Receiving Gifts
 Quality Time
 Physical Touch
9. Important aspects to nurture relationship are the following: mutual respect,
compassion, empathy, understanding, acceptance, honesty, trust, good
communication, consideration, compatibility, mutual enjoyment, personal
dignity, vulnerability

Assessment: (Post-Test)
16
Multiple Choice. Select the letter of the best answer among the given choices.

1. It is an act deciding to consistently fulfil and live by agreements made with

another person, entity, or cause, and where the values of integrity and respect
serve as a guide to one’s behaviour and thinking
A. Passion B. Commitment
C. Attraction D. Attachment

2. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered having a

healthy “self-compassion” love towards one’s self.
A. Philia B. Agape
C. Storge D. Philautia
3. Which of the following influence the person to get attracted to people who are
geographically closer to them?
A. Physical Attractiveness B. Similarity
C. Proximity D. Reciprocity

4. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for your
family?
A. Storge, Agape, Philia B. Pragma Eros, Ludus
C. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

5. Which of the following influences the person to get attracted to others who like
them back?
A. Physical Attractiveness B. Similarity
C. Proximity D. Reciprocity
6. It is described as the love-struck phase which is part of lust because it
involves focusing our attention to a particular person or desire.
A. Passion B. Commitment
C. Attraction D. Attachment

7. Which of the following is an element of a healthy relationship?

A. One person make all the decisions B. Be disrespectful
C. Trust one another D. You are threatened

8. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is characterized by

intimate, non-passionate type of love with long term commitment.
A. Consummate B. Romantic
C. Companionate D. Fatuous

C. Companionate D. Fatuous
9. It is a type of love named after ancient Greeks that is considered as the
selfless or unconditional love.

17
 A. Philia B. Agape
C. Storge D. Philautia
10. Which of the following Ancient Greek’s types of love is recommended for
friendship?
A. Storge, Agape, Philia B. Pragma Eros, Ludus
C. Storge, Eros, Philia D. Storge, Philia, Philautia

11. According to Robert Stenberg, it is the type of love that is ideal and complete
form of love with intimacy, passion and commitment.
A. Consummate B. Romantic

12. Which of the following is a good sign of an unhealthy relationship?

A. You feel good about yourself when you’re around the other person.
B. There is communication, sharing, and trust.
C. You feel fear in your relationship.
D. You feel safe to share secrets.
13. Which of the following is a good sign of a healthy relationship?
A. You are afraid of your friends temper.
B. Your friend is happy when good things happen to you.
C. Your friend threatens to hurt you
D. You friend makes fun of you.

14. Which of the following is appropriate to do in expressing your attraction to

your significant other?
A. Kissing B. Smiling at each other
C. Intimate activities D. Invading personal space

15. This refers to the close connections between people, formed by emotional
bonds and interactions.
A. Personal Development B. Intimacy
C. Personal Relationship D. Commitment

Answer Key

18
 19
ACTIVITY 5 Love Test Analysis
1. The roads signify your attitude towards falling in love.
 Short road - You fall in love quickly and easily.
 Long road - You take your time and do not fall in love easily.
2. The red roses signify how much you expect to give in a relationship while white
roses represent how much you expect in a relationship.
 If you choose all red with one white, he/she gives 90% in the relationship but
expects to receive only 10% back.
3. It illustrates your attitude in handling relationship problems.
 Ask a family member - You may beat around the bush, maybe asking a third
party to intervene. Avoidance of problems runs high.
 Do it myself - You are pretty direct. If there is a problem, you confront it and
deal with it. You want to work it out right away.
4. The placement of the roses indicates how often you'd like to see your
boyfriend/girlfriend.
 Placing the roses on the bed means you need lots of reassurance in the
relationship, and you'd want to see your loved one every day, if possible.
 Placing the roses by the window show that you don't expect or need to see
your loved one too often.
5.
 Finding your boyfriend/ girlfriend asleep: You accept your loved one the way
they are.
 Finding them awake: You expect him/her to change for you.
6. The roads represent how long you stay in love.
 Short road - You fall out of love easily.
 Long road - You tend to stay in love for a long time.
ACTIVITY 6: Love Combination POST-TEST PRE-TEST
FAMILY = Storge + Agape + Philia 1. B 1. C
FRIENDSHIP=Philia + Storge + Philautia 2. D 2. B
3. C 3. C
SIGNIFICANT OTHER =Pragma +Eros+Ludus 4. A 4. D
5. D 5. B
6. C 6. C
7. C 7. C
8. C 8. A
9. B 9. B
10. D 10. D
11. A 11. A
12. C 12. D
13. B 13. C
14. B 14. B
15. C 15. C
 20
References
ACTIVITY 10: Characteristics of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationship
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS UNHEALTHY RELATINSHIPS
You feel good about yourself when You feel sad, angry, scared, or worried.
you’re around the other person.
You do not try to control each other. You feel that you give more attention to
There is equal amount of give and take. them than they give to you. You feel
controlled.
There is communication, sharing and You don’t communicate, share or trust.
trust. You feel safe to share secrets.
You like to spend time together but also You feel fear in your relationship.
enjoy doing things apart.
There is no fear in your relationship. You feel the need to be someone that
It’s easy to be yourself when you are you are not.
with them.
You feel there’s no respect for you or You feel pressured to spend time
your opinion. You are not able to together and you feel guilty when you’re
disagree. both apart from each other.
Fernandez, B. [Link]., “Personal Development (Reader)”,
[Link]
v13_final_apr_28_2016.pdf

Apurado, A., “Learning Acitivity Sheets in Personality Development”,

[Link]

“Personal Relationship”, accessed last June 13, 2020,

[Link]

“Module12:Attraction”, accessed last June 13, 2020, [Link]

psychology/chapter/module-12-attraction/

“Which of 7 Types of Love Relationships Fits Yours?”, accessed last June 13, 2020,
[Link]
relationships-fits-yours

“Chapter 10 Personal Relationship”, accessed last June 13, 2020,

[Link]

“Sternberg's Triangular Theory and the 7 Types of Love”, accessed last June 13, 2020,
[Link]

“Know! The Five Love Languages of Tweens/Teens”, accessed last June 13, 2020,
[Link]
[Link]

Slater, F., “5 Easy Ways to Communicate Your Commitmet to yur Relationship”,

accessed last June 11, 2020, [Link]
ways-to-communicate-your-commitment-to-your-relationship

“Types of Psychology”, accessed last June 16, 2020,

[Link]

“The 8 Different Types of Love + the Perfect Combo for You”, accessed last June 16, 2020,
[Link]

Morgan, C., “Learn the Different Types of Love (and Better Understand Your Partner)”,
accessed last June 16, 2020, [Link]

“Different Types of Relationships”, accessed last June 16, 2020, [Link]

content/uploads/2016/08/[Link]

The Connection Lab McGill University, “Lesson 9:Recognizing Unhelathy Relationships”,

accessed last June 16, 2020,
[Link]

“Pathways”, accessed last June 16, 2020,

[Link]

21
“Characteristics of a Healthy, Functional Romantic Relationship”, accessed last June 16,
2020, [Link]
[Link]

“Responsible and Healthy Relationships”, accessed last June 16, 2020,

[Link]

22
For inquiries and feedback, please write or call:

Department of Education – Bureau of Learning Resources (DepEd-BLR)

DepEd Division of Cagayan de Oro City

Fr. William F. Masterson Ave Upper Balulang Cagayan de Oro
Telefax: ((08822)855-0048
E-mail Address: [Link]@[Link]

23