Negotiation Skills Development Guide
Negotiation Skills Development Guide
development program
• Flexible
• Creative
• Aware of themselves and others
• Good planners
• Honest
• Win-win oriented
• Good communicators.
Effective Negotiators Don't
• This type of negotiation process takes place between the two teams.
For example, negotiation strategies between the teams of two
companies that are looking to merge are called team negotiations
Positional Negotiation
• Positional negotiation is when you spell out the position you are in, at
the outset. Then, you defend that position against the attack.
Getting Into negotiations?
Always…….
Always
• Know your limits.
• Go into a negotiation with an open mind and heart,
• but you don’t want to be taken advantage of, either.
• If negotiating a salary for a new job, know (and, be honest with
yourself and possible employer) what the salary range is that you are
willing to accept. This will save you from feeling resentful, later on, if
you accept a job making less than what you know you are worth.
Always
• Be patient.
• This is not a time for rushing, as that is when rash decisions get made.
• Make sure that you have allowed enough time for reasonable and
thorough negotiations.
Always
• Be Prepared
• Walk into your negotiation with a clear proposal
• what you are looking to obtain or achieve.
• Are you able to justify those requests.
• Being able to make clear arguments decrease the likelihood that you
walk away with quite a bit less than what you wanted.
• It will also better enable you to “stick to your guns
Always
• Be prepared to walk away from the negotiating table.
• When neither party is unable to change their stance.
• At least not without resentment and potential issues down the road.
Always
• Buy low, sell high.
• Don’t be afraid to make extreme requests,
• Provided you are fully aware that they are extreme and you most
likely will not get them.
• The strategy being to start at the top and work down rather than
starting low and trying to work your way up the negotiating table.
Styles Of Negotiation
• Competition
• Collaboration
• Compromise
• Accommodation
• Avoidance
Competition (win-lose)
• This style might be useful when the goals of the parties are short
term and incompatible.
• The tangible benefits are the most important. The competition style
can be an effective counter balance when you expect the other party
to be competitive.
Competition (win-lose)
• This style can be described as the “I lose, you win” model and is the
direct opposite of the competitive style.
• For accommodating negotiators, the relationship means everything
and the outcome is not important.
• The accommodating style might be used in situations where one
party has caused harm to another party and needs to repair the
relationship. Additionally, this style might be preferred in order to
increase support and assistance from the other party and hope they
will be accommodating in the future.
Accommodation (lose-win):
• This style is the “I lose, you lose” model. This style is used when both
outcome and relationship are not important.
• Negotiations can be costly in terms of time and energy. Do the costs
of negotiation outweigh the likely outcome and relationship
returns? If not, it may be preferable not to negotiate at all.
Avoidance (lose-lose)
• Situation:
• Look at each situation and asses the circumstances.
• Which strategy would work best?
• Do you really care about the outcome and relationship? And if so,
how much?
• Remember all negotiation styles have advantages and disadvantages.
Style Selection Criteria
• Preferences:
• What are your personal preferences of the different styles?
• Your preferences are influenced by your values.
• How much do you value truth, courtesy, and respect?
• How important is ego, reputation and image to you?
Style Selection Criteria
• Experience:
• Consider your experience with various negotiation styles.
• The more experience success you have with a particular style, the
better you become at employing it.
Style Selection Criteria
• Perceptions:
• As you approach any given negotiation session, consider your
perceptions of the other party.
• Ask yourself, how well do you like them?
• How much do you trust them?
• How well do you communicate with them?
• What does the future hold for your relationship?
Emotional Barriers and Control
• Anger.
• Anger is detrimental to communication in many ways.
• It makes you less logical. Anger actually affects the way your brain
processes information.
• You’re less likely to solve problems effectively.
Emotional Barriers and Control
• Anger
• You’re more likely to reject explanations and solutions from others
even when they’re right
• It tends to cause a strong reaction from those around us.
• The person you’re directing your anger at ends up feeling hurt,
scared, or defensive, making the conversation unproductive.
Emotional Barriers and Control
• When you’re feeling angry:
• Remove yourself from the situation for a bit to give yourself time to
“cool off.”
• Remember, while you’re still angry, you’ll likely have trouble
processing logical statements.
• If you remove yourself long enough to calm yourself down and
reassess, you’ll get a much clearer picture of what’s going on.
• When you come back, you’ll be able to communicate more clearly
and make better decisions
Emotional Barriers and Control
• Pride.
• People who always need to be right or
• Want to have the last word tend to struggle with healthy communication.
• Focusing solely on one’s own perspective has a way of shutting down
communication with others in its tracks.
• To engage in effective collaboration and communication, you need to be
able to listen.
Emotional Barriers and Control
• Pride
• Listening involves more than just hearing someone else’s words.
• It means taking other people’s opinions seriously.
• Following other people’s advice when they have more expertise in a
subject than you.
• Allowing other people to have a say, even if it’s not exactly how you
would have done it.
• When pride gets in the way, you don’t end up with the best solutions;
you just end up with your solutions
Emotional Barriers and Control
• When your pride is getting in the way:
• Practice accepting imperfections, especially in yourself.
• While people who are prideful can come across as “cocky” or “full of
themselves,”
• in truth, pride usually stems from insecurity.
Emotional Barriers and Control
• When your pride is getting in the way
• People overcompensate to try to cover emotional insecurities with a
sense of superiority.
• When someone else has a better idea or you’ve made a mistake:
openly accept it.
• Other people will find it much easier to communicate with you.
• Demonstrate humility from time to time.
Emotional Barriers and Control
• Anxiety.
• Anxiety comes in many forms like social anxiety, generalized, and
panic disorder.
• It can cause you to avoid certain circumstances, like talking in front of
a crowd or speaking up when it would be in your best interest.
• And when it gets too far out of line, it can easily hold you back career-
wise if you’re failing to step up to new challenges out of fear.
Emotional Barriers and Control
• Anxiety
• It also impacts your ability to think clearly and creatively.
• When you suffer anxiety you get concentration problems. This is a
major consequence of worrying.
• Anxious people tend to engage in d dichotomous thinking or “black
and white” thinking.
• They imagine the most extreme outcomes rather than seeing creative
solutions in the middle
Overcoming Emotional Barriers
• When you’re feeling anxious:
• Simple relaxation techniques .
• Relaxation exercises are the simplest way for anyone to start better
managing their anxiety.
Overcoming Emotional Barriers
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Acting out: Coping with stress by engaging in actions rather than
acknowledging and bearing certain feelings
• Aim inhibition: Accepting a modified form of their original goal (e.g.,
becoming a high school basketball coach rather than a professional
athlete)
• Altruism: Satisfying internal needs through helping others
• Avoidance: Refusing to deal with or encounter unpleasant objects or
situations
• Compensation: Overachieving in one area to compensate for failures
in another
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Displacement
• Have you ever had a really bad day at work and then gone home and
taken out your frustration with family and friends? Then you have
experienced the ego defense mechanism of displacement.
• Displacement involves taking out our frustrations, feelings, and
impulses on people or objects that are less threatening.
• Displaced aggression is a common example of this defense
mechanism. Rather than express our anger in ways that could lead to
negative consequences (like arguing with our boss), we instead
express our anger towards a person or object that poses no threat
(such as our spouse, children, or pets)
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Denial
• Denial is probably one of the best-known defense mechanisms, used often to
describe situations in which people seem unable to face reality or admit an
obvious truth (e.g., "He's in denial").
• Denial is an outright refusal to admit or recognize that something has occurred or
is currently occurring. People living with drug or alcohol addiction often deny that
they have a problem, while victims of traumatic events may deny that the event
ever occurred.4
• Denial functions to protect the ego from things with which the individual cannot
cope.
• While this may save us from anxiety or pain, denial also requires a substantial
investment of energy. Because of this, other defenses are also used to keep these
unacceptable feelings from conscious awareness.
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Denial
• In many cases, there might be overwhelming evidence that something is true, yet
the person will continue to deny its existence or truth because it is too
uncomfortable to face.
• Denial can involve a flat out rejection of the existence of a fact or reality. In other
cases, it might involve admitting that something is true, but minimizing its
importance. Sometimes people will accept reality and the seriousness of the fact,
but they will deny their own responsibility and instead blame other people or
other outside forces.5
• Addiction is one of the best-known examples of denial. People who are living
with a substance use problem will often flat-out deny that their behavior is
problematic. In other cases, they might admit that they do use drugs or alcohol
but will claim that their substance use is not problematic.
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Repression and Suppression
• Repression is another well-known defense mechanism. Repression
acts to keep information out of conscious awareness. However, these
memories don't just disappear; they continue to influence our
behavior.3 For example, a person who has repressed memories of
abuse suffered as a child may later have difficulty forming
relationships.
• Sometimes we do this consciously by forcing the unwanted
information out of our awareness, which is known as suppression. In
most cases, however, this removal of anxiety-provoking memories
from our awareness is believed to occur unconsciously
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Sublimation
• Sublimation is a defense mechanism that allows us to act out
unacceptable impulses by converting these behaviors into a more
acceptable form. For example, a person experiencing extreme anger
might take up kick-boxing as a means of venting frustration.3
•
• Freud believed that sublimation was a sign of maturity that allows
people to function normally in socially acceptable ways.
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Projection
• Projection is a defense mechanism that involves taking our own
unacceptable qualities or feelings and ascribing them to other
people.3 For example, if you have a strong dislike for someone, you
might instead believe that they do not like you. Projection works by
allowing the expression of the desire or impulse, but in a way that the
ego cannot recognize, therefore reducing anxiety
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Intellectualization
• Intellectualization works to reduce anxiety by thinking about events in
a cold, clinical way.7
•
• This defense mechanism allows us to avoid thinking about the
stressful, emotional aspect of the situation and instead focus only on
the intellectual component.
• For example, a person who has just been diagnosed with a terminal
illness might focus on learning everything about the disease in order
to avoid distress and remain distant from the reality of the situation
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Rationalization
• Rationalization is a defense mechanism that involves explaining an
unacceptable behavior or feeling in a rational or logical manner, avoiding
the true reasons for the behavior.3
• For example, a person who is turned down for a date might rationalize the
situation by saying they were not attracted to the other person anyway. A
student might blame a poor exam score on the instructor rather than their
own lack of preparation.
• Rationalization not only prevents anxiety, but it may also protect self-
esteem and self-concept.
• When confronted by success or failure, people tend to attribute
achievement to their own qualities and skills while failures are blamed on
other people or outside forces
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Regression
• When confronted by stressful events, people sometimes abandon coping
strategies and revert to patterns of behavior used earlier in development.3
• Anna Freud called this defense mechanism regression, suggesting that
people act out behaviors from the stage of psychosexual development in
which they are fixated. For example, an individual fixated at an earlier
developmental stage might cry or sulk upon hearing unpleasant news.
• Behaviors associated with regression can vary greatly depending upon
which stage at which the person is fixated.
• According to Freud, an individual fixated at the oral stage might begin
eating or smoking excessively, or might become very verbally aggressive. A
fixation at the anal stage might result in excessive tidiness or messiness
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Reaction formation reduces anxiety by taking up the opposite feeling,
impulse, or behavior.3
• An example of reaction formation would be treating someone you
strongly dislike in an excessively friendly manner in order to hide your
true feelings.
• Why do people behave this way? According to Freud, they are using
reaction formation as a defense mechanism to hide their true feelings
by behaving in the exact opposite manner
Some Emotional defense Mechanisms
• Dissociation: Becoming separated or removed from one's experience
• Fantasy: Avoiding reality by retreating to a safe place within one's
mind
• Humor: Pointing out the funny or ironic aspects of a situation
• Passive-aggression: Indirectly expressing anger
• Undoing: Trying to make up for what one feels are inappropriate
thoughts, feelings, or behaviors (e.g., if you hurt someone's feelings,
you might offer to do something nice for them in order to assuage
your anxiety or guilt)
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Cognitive ability –
• The ability to absorb and comprehend complex issues, analyze a
significant amount of data and solve problems.
• Individuals with higher cognitive ability often are more successful in
situations that involve multiple issues.
• And that require the generation of multiple options to reach a
successful resolution.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Emotional intelligence –
• The ability to recognize, understand, process and manage one’s own
emotions, as well as the emotions of another party.
SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Perspective taking –
• The ability to assume another party’s perspective, even if you do not
agree with it.
• Individuals who can understand the position of another party are
more likely to reach conclusions that satisfy the other party.
• The inability to do this may cause the other party to feel disrespected,
meaning they may become less cooperative
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Collaboration –
• This motivational issue is important for an integrated negotiation to
succeed.
• Essentially, both sides in any negotiation must be willing to work
together to reach a shared, satisfactory goal.
• If one or both parties simply pursue their own interest, regardless of
what the other party is seeking, a successful resolution is much less
likely.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Trust –
• Another critical motivational issue is trust.
• Mistrust can effectively undermine any negotiation.
• Will cause one or both parties to become defensive and less
forthright.
• Transparency and openness generate trust, but it must come from
both sides.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Separating people from the problem
• Negotiators have two interests, the substance of the issue being
negotiated and the ongoing relationship between parties.
• Good relationships can further the process whereas a fractured
relationship can significantly inhibit effective communication.
• It is never advisable to allow relationships to become intertwined
with the process.
• Each needs to be dealt with independent of the other.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Focus on interests, not positions
In any negotiation, there are positions and interests.
• A position may be a specific sticking point that one side or the other
says it wants.
• whereas an interest may represent an actual need as it relates to
what’s being negotiated.
• Negotiators should be able to look past positions to find an
acceptable point where the underlying interest is met.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Options for mutual gain
• To find mutual gains, creativity is the most valuable tool.
• Successful negotiators use imagination to reach an agreeable
resolution instead of a compromise that doesn’t fully satisfy either
party.
• One barrier to avoid is initial and immediate criticism when options
are being discussed.
• This stifles communication and can cause one or both sides to miss
the best option.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Using objective criteria
• An objective criteria are facts that exist independent of both parties
that are relevant to what should or should not be agreed upon in the
negotiation.
• These are facts that highlight the fairness of what is being proposed.
• Successful negotiators acknowledge objective criteria presented by
the other side without resorting to threats or yielding to pressure.
• It creates a dialogue, where the other party explains their reasoning
as to why their position should be accepted, may help the sides reach
an agreeable.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Prepare, prepare, prepare.
• Enter a negotiation without proper preparation and you’ve already
lost.
• Start with yourself. Make sure you are clear on what you really want
out of the arrangement.
• Research the other side to better understand their needs, as well as
their strengths and weaknesses.
• Enlist help from experts, such as an accountant, attorney or tech guru
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Pay attention to timing.
• Timing is important in any negotiation.
• You must know what to ask for, but also be sensitive to when you ask
for it.
• There are times to press ahead, and times to wait. When you are
looking your best is the time to press for what you want.
• Beware of pushing too hard and poisoning any long-term relationship.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Leave behind your ego.
• The best negotiators either don’t care or don’t show they care about
who gets credit for a successful deal.
• Their talent is in making the other side feel like the final agreement
was all their idea
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Ramp up your listening skills.
• The best negotiators are often quiet listeners who patiently let others
have the floor while they make their case.
• They never interrupt. They encourage the other side to talk first.
• That helps set up one of negotiation’s oldest maxims: whoever
mentions numbers first, loses. While that’s not always true.
• It’s generally better to sit tight and let the other side go first. Even if
they don’t mention numbers, it gives you a chance to ask what they
are thinking
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• If you don’t ask, you don’t get.
• Another tenet of negotiating is, “Go high, or go home.”
• As part of your preparation, define your highest justifiable price.
• As long as you can argue convincingly, don’t be afraid to aim high.
• But no ultimatums, please. Take-it-or-leave-it offers are usually out of
place
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Anticipate compromise.
• You should expect to make concessions and plan what they might be.
• The other side is thinking the same, so never take their first offer.
• Even if it’s better than you’d hoped for, practice your best look of
disappointment and politely decline.
• You never know what else you can get
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Offer and expect commitment.
• The glue that keeps deals from unraveling is an unshakable
commitment to deliver.
• You should offer this comfort level to others.
• Likewise, avoid deals where the other side does not demonstrate
commitment.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Don’t absorb their problems.
• In most negotiations, you will hear all of the other side’s problems
and reasons they can’t give you what you want.
• They want their problems to become yours, but don’t let them.
• Instead, deal with each as they come up and try to solve them. If their
“budget” is too low, for example, maybe there are other places that
money could come from.
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Stick to your principles.
• You are likely to have a set of guiding principles and values that you
just won’t compromise.
• If you find negotiations crossing those boundaries, it might be a deal
you can live without
Critical Skills in Negotiation
• Close with confirmation.
• At the close of any meeting (even if no final deal is struck) recap the
points covered and any areas of agreement.
• Make sure everyone confirms.
• Follow-up with appropriate letters or emails.
• Do not leave behind loose ends.
Negotiation follows a 4 Step Process
• Preparation
• Scope of desired agreement
• Goal and objectives
• Bottom line
• Research
• Negotiating strategy
Negotiation follows a 4 Step Process
• Opening
• Make a strong first impression
• Build rapport
• Check the level of authority they have to make commitments and
deliver a final agreement
• Agree the basis of the meeting – Decision process
• Agree any admin and ground rules
• Establish their outcome
• Set out your outcome
Negotiation follows a 4 Step Process
• Bargaining
• Positions
• Progress
• Offers
• Counter-offers
• Concessions
• Getting stuck… and unstuck
• Preparing to close
Negotiation follows a 4 Step Process
• Closing
• Summary
• Check issues covered
• Check concessions agreed
• Ask what more
• Trial close
• Make the offer
• Confirm and record the decision
Negotiation follows a 4 Step Process
• Then SHUT UP
• Following up
• Document agreement in writing
• Share it – as a fact, not a consultation
• Carry out any agreed actions
• Inform people who need to know
• Courtesy thanks to all those involved on your side
• Polite note to counter-party
ETIQUETTES
ETHICS
• Ethics: The standards of conduct which indicate how one should
behave based on moral
• duties and virtues rising from principles of right and wrong
• Short-term vs Long-term
• Individual vs Community:
• Improved brand image: The leaders should show the best that your
brand has to offer.
• Scandal prevention: Ethical leaders don’t create bad PR. scandals can
be damaging
BENEFITS OF ETHICAL LEADERSHIP
• Loyalty/Recruitment: Both employees and customers are more likely
to remain loyal to organizations that hire ethical leaders.
• Communicate ethics