Ardina Lukita Wiraputra

Universitas Kristen Maranatha

ardinalukita98@[Link]
+6283822118079

See Through

This had been the fourth night I spent my Christmas night alone, thinking about the
guy I met last week. Maybe Mom was right; I could finally live my life normally. Yet, why
was I still bothered by the fact I couldn't read people's minds when I was around him? Why
couldn't I read his?
           I entered the café, the only place where I could see him. I didn't know what makes this
vintage-looking café so special because he visited it almost every day.
He sat at the very back of the café, wearing a black t-shirt and round glasses. I
overheard once what he was ordering. So, maybe he was having his ice cappuccino without
sugar. Maybe, I repeat.
I was near the pick-up station, picking my hot chocolate, when suddenly I saw him
getting up, walking towards the exit door. I hurriedly grabbed my bag, tried to catch him up.
"Hey!" I shouted.
It was a little bit crowded in the café. He didn't even turn his back; instead, the other
guests looked at my confused face. I tried to hide my embarrassment and shouted louder until
he saw me, pointing his forefinger to himself while raising his right eyebrow.
"Yes, you. Can we have a minute?"
__________

           In an empty park where there were only several people strolling around, we sat
together on a bench near a lamp post about one meter apart, without talking.
It was still the same. I can't read his mind, even when we were this close.
           "What is it?" he broke the silence.
           "Who are you?" A stupid question to throw to a stranger, I know.
           It was another moment of silence until finally, he told me his name, Dion. Well, I
didn't come here to ask for his name. However, I didn't dare to say to him what was bothering
me after being a total creep, stalking him for four consequent days.
           "So, what is it?" he asked. "I'm getting cold, so can you just talk straight to the
point?".    
           "Uhm... Have we ever met before?" I asked just because he seemed like he had seen
me somewhere.
           The night just went like that. He left me—with an address? I supposed leaving me
hanging about his identity was not enough. I picked out the address he gave me. Okay, this
would be the last time, I promised. For the first time, I was dead curious. 
__________

I entered a minimalist-looking coffee shop with The Beatles music playing. I stepped

inside, but I didn't find him.
           "Interesting, you found out about my working hours, huh?" he came out of nowhere,
offering me a cup of hot chocolate with my name on it. 
We sat together and had a short chat. He also told me some about his stories,
including the café where I first met him. He said it is personally his memorable place.
__________

It became a habit. I visited him, heard countless of his stories, went on a date. My
feelings for him are starting to grow. It was not easy. I knew loving him means losing a part
of myself. If it was meant to be a gift, I should be scared of losing it, right? But there's just
something about him I was scared to lose because I knew I wouldn't find it in anyone else.
"So, Annalise, mind-reading you said?" he asked nonchalantly. 
"Yeah, it is said to be a gift. I thought it was a curse."
He laughed. For a moment, his deep voice made me petrified.
"I saw you, but there was nothing I could read," I explained. I was staring at his eyes
as I was begging him to read my mind. I think he knew what I was thinking that time about
my feelings towards him for a minute.
           He held my hands, "are you sure?"
           I took a deep breath; I answered yes. And it was the night when I finally decided to
know him in a more personal way. 
__________

           Dating him was a thrilling journey. He was adventurous, I would say. He loved asking
me to go for a night ride during the weekend, hike, and camp near his favorite lake where he
used to fish. He would know what I needed from him. Helping my work, accompanying me,
and all of those little things.
           Every night, I couldn't stop thinking about what might happen next, including me
losing my mind-reading ability as our relationship was getting more serious. I admitted it was
hard for me to accept that he was the same, normal person as everybody else. It was worse
that I also needed to accept that I needed to live when I was around him normally, at least.
__________

           It was a casual weekend I always spent with him by going to the park after the night
ride. We were holding hands, drinking our favorite drinks. 
           "Come, sit here." he tapped the empty seat. 
"You are fortunate. It is right that your power is a gift. All those questions people
asked about—if one day we are able to choose one superpower, I would choose yours. Don't
ask me why because I was also curious about you." 
Perhaps that's what made him suddenly emotional and talked about his feelings
towards me.
           He told me that he saw me for the first time when I was with my friend, in that café.
He was too afraid to approach me. Thereby, it became the reason why he visited that place
almost every day, to see me.
           It was a memorable day. I got a chance to hear what was on his mind. I could feel his
warmth, his sincerity. After all this time, it was not his coldness I felt. It was just my heart
that I always left freezing as I'm sick of a living life I didn't belong to. Right now, I feel like
I'm more to myself. I love myself for no longer being able to read people's minds.
"Dion, is it just your name that means magic or just your love to me that is magical?"
I smiled and kissed his cheek lightly.
Losing a part of you in something bigger than yourself didn't always cause something
terrible. Since by the loss, I find him, and in him, I found me.
So, in the end, we won.