Identifying Oneself Through Life Events

A Late Adulthood Interview

Student Name

Carroll College

Developmental Psychology, Spring 2018, Dr. Nolen

Identifying Oneself Through Life Events

A Late Adulthood Interview

With sun-wrinkled skin, calloused hands, and a slight gimp, INTERVIEWEE1 is the

epitome of a retired rancher and farm hand. At the age of 72, he still helps with harvesting and

branding, giving younger ones a run for their money. Although INTERVIEWEE, my

grandfather, is considered to be on the older end of the Young-Old group in Late Adulthood,2 he

has only recently presented outward signs of wear. Likely this wear is due to an accumulated

exposure to stress on the body, not surprising given his many years of physically taxing work.3

Curious as to how the man has stayed both healthy, physically and mentally, throughout the

majority of his life, I decided that an interview with him would be beneficial on both fronts. The

conversation would provide my grandpa with the opportunity to begin a brief form of a Life

Review;4 as for me, I was hoping he would let me in on some secrets on how to live such a long

and fulfilling life!

The formal part of the interview took place on Thursday, April 26 over the phone, lasting

about 20 minutes; however, some of the material discussed comes from past conversations that I

have shared with INTERVIEWEE, my grandfather. Although my grandpa shows minimal aging,

the bit that he does show is presented not by his memory, but instead by tirednessfatigue may be

a better word choice. I knew, for this reason, that a long conversation would likely be

unmanageable; thus, the result was a shorter interview. Despite being somewhat short, the topics

we discussed ranged far and wide - from grandparenting styles, to retirement life, to defining and

identifying oneself.

1
No preference whether or not to remain anonymous
2
Distinction of Late Adulthood stages based on age, health, and social well being
3
Wear and Tear Theory

4
Life Review
3

Distance profoundly affects relationships - an aspect that my Grandpa acknowledged at

the start of the interview, remarking how it had been quite some time since he had heard from

me. This distance also plays a role in his grandparenting style(s). The book addresses four

different types of styles that grandparents take on – remote/distant grandparenting, companionate

grandparenting, involved grandparents, or surrogate parenting.5 These classifications are

understandable, but fail to take into account that grandparent may take on more than one of these

roles at once – especially when interacting with different sets of grandchildren. Before

expanding, it may be helpful to note my Grandpa has four grandchildren - two sets of two

siblings. One pair (my cousins) has never lived more than a few blocks from him their entire

lives. Currently, they live in the same small town of roughly 700 people. On the other hand, the

closest he has ever lived to the other pair (my sister and I) is a combined 250 miles. The close

proximity to some of his grandchildren and relatively substantial distance from the other

grandchildren correlate with his grandparenting style for each pair. For the two that he lives close

to, he takes on more of an involved grandparent role – active in their everyday lives by being

present at activities and family functions. For my sister and I, he approaches grandparenting with

a combination of remote grandparenting and companionate grandparenting. This combination is

not because he cares less, but because that is the style in which the distance allows. Since my

sister and I grew up in a distant place, an intense emotional bond was not formed until later in

life so much of our early interactions were seen as fun visits to Grandpa’s house. When

discussing the different types of grandparenting, my grandpa stated that he felt like the distance

from my sister and I made him miss out on typical grandfather roles in our lives; he wishes that

we would have lived closer. Despite these different geographically-forced approaches, he claims

that being a grandparent to each of his grandchildren is a blessing in life. He stated that the most
5
Relationships with Younger Generations – Grandchildren (in textbook)
4

rewarding thing about being a grandparent is watching grandchildren grow up. He recollected

sitting in the crowd at sporting events, music concerts, and graduations with an immense feeling

of joy – proud of who his grandchildren had become.

Perhaps being a grandparent that regularly attends events provides him the opportunity to

set some a daily schedule in which retired individuals usually lack. Typically included with old

age is the concept of free time; however, my grandpa argued that there is only “free time” if you

let there be.6 Whether he is at one of my cousin’s sporting events, morning coffee hour with his

buddies, building birdhouses in the garage, gardening in his yard, or helping out locals with

harvesting, there is never a second of time to rest in Grandpa INTERVIEWEE’s life. He told me

that the best part of living without a strict schedule is the ability to go when he wants to go, do

what he wants to do when he wants to do it. This positive outlook of being unemployed is

contradictory to how many feel when they are without work – especially under his specific

circumstances. My grandpa didn’t choose retirement; rather, retirement chose him. After 23

years of running a ranch, he decided to join the Army. After four years of service, he began a

career at Western Ranch and Farm. He continued working here until he was forced to retire in

2009 after an incident at work, which resulted in him tearing his shoulder. Despite forced

retirement, he still views it as a positive event in his life. Retirement often evokes either the

feeling of lonesomeness or the feeling of joy,7 the later primarily expressed by my grandpa.

Farmer and rancher or grandparent and retired, my grandpa found it difficult to pinpoint

his identity. When asked for five words to explain himself, he was without words. Thus, he

proved the idea that identity changes with transitions between life phases despite trying to

6
Activity Theory (in textbook)
7
Adjustment to Retirement (With a Focus on Forced Retirement)
5

maintain it to some degree.8 Although we all have shifting personalities throughout our lives, the

biggest changes come during these transitions. For example, in high school I would have

described myself as a musician and tennis player; however, in college, I would not use these

adjectives to describe myself as I no longer regularly participate in either of those activities.

Simply put, transitions require people to alter the definition of themselves to some degree,

whether that transition is from emerging adulthood to adulthood or middle adulthood to late

adulthood. Grandpa INTERVIEWEE’s aging forced him to take on a new set of defining

characteristics, some self-defined (gardener) and some placed by society (retired). My grandpa

claimed that in later life it is not as much about the labels placed upon you by society, but how

you choose to let those labels affect you. Although my grandpa wears many hats, he claims the

title as “Grandpa” as the label that makes him most proud – a label that he proudly chooses to

identify by.

As he ages his love for others and high hopes for their success grows - life is no longer

solely about himself but about others. Returning to his secret on how to live a fulfilling life, he

claims it is through supporting others – specifically, those within your family.9 He advised me

that friends go away as you age, but family is forever.10

Student Name,

Honestly I have been consistently impressed with your work throughout this entire semester.

Your thoughtfulness and dedication is constantly apparent. You could maybe fit some more self-

reflection into this paper, but you’ve done a fantastic job overall.

8
Self-Theories – Holding on to One’s Self (in textbook)
9
“Life-Affirming Involvement”
10
Increasing Priority of Being Close to Family
6

Writing quality: 28/30