INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION /

DYADIC COMMUNICATION
Interpersonal communication occurs when we communicate on a one-to-one basis usually in an
informal, unstructured setting. This kind of communication occurs mostly between two people,
though it may include more than two.
Interpersonal communication uses all the elements of the communication process. In a conversation
between friends, for example, each brings his or her back ground and experience to the conversation.
Outing the conversation each functions as a sender and a receiver. Their message consists of both
verbal and non-verbal symbols. The channels they use mostly are sight and sound. Because
interpersonal communication is between two (or a few) people, it offers the greatest opportunity for
feedback. Psychological noise is likely to be minimal because each person can see whether the other
is distracted. The persons involved in the conversation have many chances to check that the message
is being perceived correctly.
Interpersonal communication is the communication between two persons. It can take place in any
environment, and in any place. But it mostly takes place in face-to-face encounters. It is often
spontaneous, unplanned, and loosely organized. It does not follow rules of grammar or other such
formal restrictions.
The participants are mostly face-to-face in interpersonal communication (except in case of
interpersonal mediated communication through telephone, mail, email etc.). So they can use all five
senses to send and receive messages. Also such situations are informal in nature.
Most interpersonal communication occurs between two persons in close contact (dyad). Thus the
responsibilities of sending, receiving, processing, evaluating, providing feedback, etc. are shared
between the participants. Here both the participants alternate their roles as sender and receiver.
Interpersonal communication mostly involves sharing of meaning. It also involves guiding,
counseling, passing instructions or orders, problem solving, decision making, etc. It is a process of
sharing experience and is an extension of ourselves to other people. It is usually spontaneous,
unplanned and loosely organized.

Componential Definition- would be sending of message by one person and the receiving of it by
another person or a small group with some affect and some opportunity for immediate feedback.

Relational Definition- It is a form of communication that takes place between two persons who have
clearly established relationships.
Developmental Definition- It is seen as the need of a progression from impersonal communication to
one extreme to a personal communication or intimate form of communication at the other end.

Functions of Interpersonal Communication

 • Gaining Information - One reason we engage in interpersonal communication is so that we
can gain knowledge about another individual. Social Penetration Theory says that we attempt
to gain information about others so that we can interact with them more effectively. We can
better predict how they will think, feel and act if we know who they are. We gain this
information passively, by observing them; actively, by having others engage them; or
interactively, by engaging them ourselves. Self-disclosure is often used to get information
from another person.

• Building a Context of Understanding - We also engage in interpersonal communication to

help us better understand what someone-says in a given context. The words we say can mean
very different things depending on how or in what context they are said. Content Messages
refer to the subsurface level meaning of a message. Relationship Messages refer to how a
message is said. The two are sent simultaneously, but each affects the meaning assigned to the
communication. Interpersonal communication helps us understand each other better.

• Establishing Identity - Another reason we engage in interpersonal communication is to

establish an identity. The roles we play in our relationships help us establish identity. So too
does the face, the public self-image we present to others. Both roles and face are constructed
based on how we interact with others.

• Interpersonal Needs - Finally, we engage in interpersonal communication because we need

to express and receive interpersonal needs. William Schutz has identified three such needs:
inclusion, control, and affection. Inclusion is the need to establish identity with others.
Control is the need to exercise leadership and prove one's abilities. Groups provide outlets for
this need. Some individuals do not want to be leaders. For them, groups provide the necessary
control over aspects of their lives. Affection is the need to develop relationships with people.
Groups are an excellent way to make friends, and establish relationships.

VARIOUS STAGES OF RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT

According to Mark Knapp various stages of relationship development are:

• Initiating
• Experimenting
• Intensifying
• Integrating
• Bonding

According to Tabbs theory various stages of relationship development are:

• Orientation
• Conflict
• Consensus
• Closure
According to Fishers theory various stages of relationship development are:

• Orientation
• Conflict
• Emergence
• Reinforcement
MARK KANPPS THEORY
It may take years to nurture our relationship or a second to establish one. The whole process of
relationship development is a very complex process which involves the psycho-socio dimensions of
the individuals who are a part of the group. According to Mark Knapp, the stages are:

Stages of Relationship Development:

• Initiating: In this stage you make a conscious judgment about the other individual. In this
stage, we see, hear and smell the person. Studies have shown that the first four minutes of
initial integration are very important to decide whether we want to pursue a relationship. The
physical appearance is an important determinant as the physical dimensions are more open
and visible than the sensory dimensions.
• Experimenting: This is also a superficial stage and is a relatively unknown stage where we
indulge in a small talk to establish a friendly atmosphere. If the initial interaction is positive,
we consciously decide whether pursuing a relationship further is worthwhile or not.
• Intensifying: as relationships mature and develop into closer friendship, participation and
awareness is increased. Effort is made to strengthen the bond by asking and reciprocating
favors. Self-disclosure is increased, trust is developed. In this stage, you share your secrets
and expose your hidden self to the other individuals. Use pet names, slangs, non-verbal
behavior, etc. Thus, establishing a special communication which is made only for a few
individuals.
• Integrating: In this stage, we agree to meet the expectations of the other person and two or
more individuals begin to share many congenialities such as interest, attitudes, friends, eating
joints, recreational activities, etc. You make a conscious effort to please the other person by
giving into his/her expectations. The group is seen as a close unit who behave for one another.
• Bonding: This is the final stage of relationship development where serious commitments and
sacrifices are made for one another. In the Indian society marriage is the most expected form
of bonding which finds social and institutional support. In this stage, more time, energy is
spent with one another. Thereby making the relationship better or worse. In this stage, two
individuals have to agree to the rules and regulations of the contract to make it work forever.
Stages of Relationship Disintegration:
• Differentiation: A separation or a split becomes apparent when the two partners start
disagreeing and drift apart, they both want freedom and individuality which they profess by
experimenting with different lifestyles.
• Circumscribing: This is a stage of having minimum conversation. In this stage, you have
lack of total communication. The topics of conversation are very guarded and controlled to
reduce conflict and tension. On the surface everything appears perfect but there are
underlying difficulties. Their interaction remains unaltered but there is less expression of
commitment both verbally and non-verbally, affection is occasional and loving remarks are
almost negligible.
• Stagnation: There is further deterioration of relationship. In this stage, all efforts to
communicate are abandoned. The atmosphere between the individuals is cold, verbal abuses,
gossiping and non-verbal cues like staring, shrugging are followed to hurt the other
individuals. They tend to continue a relationship that is unrewarding because it requires a bold
effort to end a relationship. You have a hope for reconciliation. There are social pressures,
economic reasons which bind you to carry on with this negative relation.
• Avoiding: This is a further stage where you don’t acknowledge the other person at all. This is
a stage where you react as if the other person doesn’t exist. You try to find out ways to avoid
that individual and avoid being alone with that person.
• Terminating: This is the last stage when the relationship ends through heated words, through
legal patterns or slowly by making plans which don’t succeed in the development of
relationship. This can also be due to geographical reasons, social pressure, etc which leads to
termination of relationship.

IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

• Be assertive: It means that you are willing to communicate in an active manner. As passive,
withdrawn, inactive persons will not elicit much response from others. It does not mean being
aggressive but being responsible for the relationship.
• Be considerate: This means to recognize the listener as individual, empathies with the
receiver and understand that the individual comes to you for communication as a package of
past experience, information, personalities, background, etc.
• Listen: Listen to people around you towards and non verbal messages with accuracy, clarity
and sincerity.
• Be supportive: Approach the receiver with warmth, positive ness, respect and regard. At the
heart of all effective communication is a positive regard that you give to others which is based
on authentic communication. A feeling between communicator and receiver should be created
by communicator. The communicator should show appreciation, worthwhile ness, and
empathy towards his receivers. There must be enthusiasm, energy in the transaction, humor
can go a long way in energizing your efforts and creating an atmosphere which is positive and
conducive for affective interaction.

Interpersonal Communication Theories

Interpersonal communication may be viewed in a variety of ways, each of which can help us to better
understand the overall Communication process. Interpersonal communication requires physical
proximity of persons. It involves focused interaction and communication interdependence. It can be
verbal as well as non-verbal. It is unconstructed & informal. It occurs in 3 contents: Dyad. group and
Organizational.
Five essentials are therefore important for understanding and analyzing interpersonal communication
are:

• There is a compulsion to communicate.

• Communication has content and a relationship dimension.
• It can be defined by a communication sequence.
• It can be digital as well as analogous.
• It can be symmetrical, complementary or crossed.

1) Functional Theory of communication (Dance & Larson (1976)

According to this theory, we use IPC or a variety of reasons. IPC affects the way in which people
interpret experiences. This occurs because of 5 features involved in the process. It starts with a
symbolic content generated by individual that follows a specific code. It is generally in consonance
with that of the receiver which is at the more or less same wavelength.

These factors address three functions: Linking, Mutation and Regulatory.

a) Linking Function: That provides a connection between a person and his/her environment. This is
achieved through interpersonal communication.

b) Mutation Function: The Capacity to conceptualize, remember, plan and prepare are all involved
in this function. All these capacities are important for interpersonal communication.

c) Regulatory Function: This is the process through which we communicate to regulate and control
our own behaviours, as well as those of others. This involves the use of norms of the regulation of
behaviours. This is possible through interpersonal communication primarily.

All these functions are often used jointly to relate to people and the environment, to look after one's
physical and emotional needs, to develop psychological ties with others & nurture & promote
sociocultural interactions. The functional theory of communication is in explaining how these
activities take place. For eg: As infants we are nurtured physically, emotionally and intellectually we
develop cultural, social and psychological ties with the work through interpersonal communication as
it allows us to function more practically in Life.

2) Relational Communication Theory: (Millar and Regers 1976)

According to this theory, three dimensions of interpersonal relationships are important for any
interaction. They are the control, trust and intimacy. These 3 dimensions reflect and define the nature
of a given relationship.

a) Control- The counter dimension focuses on the distribution of power to direct the nature of
the interaction. This dimension is usually reflected in the number of messages we need to
exert relational control. The control can be strong, weak or equal. Messages that are strong
and exerts control are called One-up messages. Messages that show the relinquishing (effect,
result or response) of the control in a situation are termed one down message. For example: A
boss to the subordinates, “I want this information soon” is one-up message. The subordinate
reply as, "Yes, I shall do it right way” is One-down message. The relationship that exists
between the boss and the Subordinate can be described as a competency relationship. The
 activity of the end is, complementing the other. Relationships those are equal in nature fall in
the category of a symmetrical one. In this situation each partner's behaviour is virtually a
mirror image of the other.
b) Trust- The second dimension (Trust implies belief in a relationship). It means confidence in
the other person. The basis of this confidence is that the other person would not explicit or
take unfair advantage of the other person involved in the relationship. Trust Creates
trustworthiness. The most significant aspect of that is that is play a high and unique
responsibility on the other person who is trusted to ensure that the control could never turn
abusive.

c) Intimacy- The intimacy dimension refers to degree to which the two people involved can meet
each other's needs, in a special way. For eg.; relationship of husband and wife or a close
friendship. If the partners needs are getting fulfilled as they don’t need for any additional
relationships, then that relationship could be defined as an intimate one. However, if the needs
are not met then that relationship would have lower intimacy. Each of these dimensions
determine the nature of the relationships.

3) Coordinated Management of meaning theory (Pearce & Cronen [1980])

Unlike the other two theories, the coordinated management of meaning (CMM) theory is a meaning-
centered theory of communication. Its primary focus is on meanings in interpersonal communication
and on how we coordinate & manage meaning in everyday life so communication in this context
involves the development and coordination of rules for interacting with others. Pearce & Cronen
propose two sets of rules that coordinate all interpersonal communication Interaction Constitutive
rules & Regulative rules

a) Constitutive Rules
These invite the right ways of talking in the initial stages of a relationship. For eg: in the
initial meeting what to say, how to smile etc., to get the relationship going.

b) Regulative Rules : These rules will take over after ages the Constitutive rules. They
government response of initiated action as a result of initial interaction. These pertain to how
one should behave in a given situation. For Example: In mutual interaction, smile and say
hello to one person. The other person should also smile, say hello and ask your name. These
constitute the rules that govern friend illness in interaction and this will be followed by other
interactions.

So communication here involves both verbal & non-verbal modes. It is aimed to coordinating the
rules and the management an interpersonal communication. Therefore for communication theory,
effective communication is a function of two factors.

• A mutually shared system of rules of interaction.

• A coordinated management of meaning that follows, the initial rules of interaction, that have
been set in motion.
4) Kelly's Attribution Theory, (1972) :

This theory of interpersonal communication operates on the basis of attributions that one makes about
the causes underlying a given behaviour: From a series of observations we have of a person's
behaviour, we try to figure out what might have caused a particular action. According to Kelly, we
look for a systematic pattern of relationship between a cause and its effects for making inference
about a person's behaviour. Two principles operate in this process: Co-variation Principle &
Discounting Principle

● The Co-variation Principle: From the several data available to the observer, one tries to fit
that factor, which is the most likely reason for the behaviour under consideration. Example:
My friend left without me because she was not feeling well.

● The Discounting principle : Here each factor as weighed against the other factor(s) so that
their relative merits in explaining the given behaviour, also gets evaluated. Then the
conclusion is made. For example: my friend left me because she is unwell or she gets late for
home or she got a ride to go home. After all these factors you weighed against each other, her
behaviour would attribute to her being unwell.

5) Equity Theory:

According to this theory, we develop and maintain those relationships in which the ratio of our
rewards compared to three (sets is approximately equal to our partners, An equitable relationship is
the one in which each person derive rewards that are proportional to their costs. If you contribute
more tax the relationship than your partner, then equity acquires that you should get greater sward
Inequity would exist in a relationship if one pays more of the costs but get the less.

All of us seek equity in our IPC relationships. If we feel benefited because we get less than what we
put in, we might feel angry, and dissatisfaction. This theory focuses on the reason for dissatisfaction
in relationships seen in our day to day lives. For marital relationship, where both husband and wife
work full time but call the pressure of household worker is only on the wife, then the wife may be
dissatisfied because of lack of equity.

6) Social Exchange Theory :

This theory is based on the Economic model of profits and Losses. It is based on equation:

Profits = Rewards -Costs

It claims that you develop a relationship that will enable you to maximise your profits. Rewards can
include money, status, leave, information, goods and services. Costs are those things that you
normally try to avoid since they are considered unpleasant and difficult to do. This theory claims that
you seek to develop relationships Which will give you the greatest profits in which rewards are
greater than the costs. Those relationships which give you the greater rewards with the least costs are
the most proffered preferred ones. You may also leave your rent relationship for a new relationship
which seems more profitable to you.
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