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Human Mate Poaching:
Tactics and Temptations for Infiltrating Existing Mateships
David P. Schmitt
Bradley University
David M. Buss
University of Texas at Austin
‘The authors explored the pycholgy of romantically atractng someone whois already in a reaionhip—
‘what canbe called te process of human mate poaching. Ln Study 1
36) they found thal attemps a
poaching were relatively common and were inked with csintive personaly cispstons, Stndy 2(N = 220)
locum thr the perceived costs and benefits of poaching ditfeed somewit for mea and waren and
depended on whether shorter or long-term poaching outcomes were tareted. Stdy 3 (NV 453) found
Support for Sevoltion-based bypoess about the perceived effectiveness of poaching tates. Stay 4 (V =
333) found that poaching eectveness was influenced by the tyre of relationship being encroached on —
‘mara, dating, long distance highly commited, jos beginning, or about oer. Discussion faces om the
‘mpriaoe of placing mate poaching within the broader context of human sexual tates.
‘Over the course of human evolutionary history. those who failed
to attract mates generally failed to reproduce. Modern humans are
descended from those who effectively solved the adaptive problem
of romantic attraction, who sueceeded in obraining a fertile partner
at least long enough to conceive (Buss, 1994). A growing body of
evidence suggests that one of the most potent ways that individuals
attract one another is by deploying romantic tactics that embody
the evolved desires of the opposite sex (Tooke & Camire, 1991;
Walters & Crawford, 1994). Moreover, because our evolved de-
sites may differ somewhat between short-term and long-term re-
lationship contexts (Buss & Schmitt, 1993), the effectiveness of
romantic attraction tacties can vary as a function of temporal
context as well (Schmitt & Buss, 1996).
Much of the research on romantic attraction effectiveness is
based on the implicit assumption tha inteasexual competition
centers around available mates in @ mating pool. Those who
successfully deploy the most effective romantic tactics best their
same-sex rivals in attracting desirable and eligible mates. This
assumption, however, bypasses & critical adaptive problem that
‘must have been prevalent over human evolutionary. history
Namely, many desirable mates are already mated and thus are not
readily available or present in the eligible mating pool. Some
David P. Schmit, Departent of Pryehology. Bradley University
David M. Buss, Dopariment of Prychology, University of Texas at Austin,
"This research was supported in pant by National Istiute of Mental
Healt Grant MH-44206-02. We thank Ana M. Wood, Jenifer Cinton
and Sharon ver fr thee help in conducting these research studs.
Correspondence concerning this article shouldbe addressed to David P
Schmit. Department of Psychology, Bradley University, Peoria, Ulincis
(61625, Electonic mail may be sent 1 dps@bradey cd,
opr 20 by he Aen ca Rom
sou
pt, Yl No
rescarchers have argued, on the basis of analyses of traditional
‘cultures, that in human ancestal conditions, most women became
married at or shortly after puberty (Symons, 1979). This mating
context would have greatly exacerbated the adaptive problem of
finding 2 mate for those who were not already mated, particularly
for men, Any degree of polyzyay. a possible recurring Feature of
four ancestral past (Foley, 1996), would have further intensified the
problem of suecessful romantic attraction for men. We call this
distinctive dynamic of romantic attraction the problem of human
‘mate poaching.
Human Mate Poaching Defined
‘We define human mate poaching 2s behavior intended to attract,
someone who is already in a romantic relationship. Because of the
importance of temporal context in general romantic attraction
(Gehmitt & Buss, 1996), itis expected that some mate poaching
behaviors will be designed to entice only temporary sexual deser-
tions by the already-mated partner, culminating in brief affairs or
short-term liaisons. Other forms of poaching attraction, however,
may be designed to elicit a more permanent relationship defection
and the eventual formation of a new long-term mating alliance.
Both forms of mate poaching are assumed to involve premeditated
‘actions by a mate poacher, actions specifically intended to lure
someone away from an established romantic relationship.
‘The assumption that mate poaching behavior is premeditated
oes not imply that all aspects of poaching attraction must be
entirely conscious. For example, evolutionary perspectives are
sometimes portrayed as assuming that romantic attraction behay-
jors are consciously targeted at reproduction, because people
knowingly want to maximize current reproductive success. This is
a fundamental misunderstanding of evolutionary approaches to HUMAN MATE POACHING 895,
‘human mating (see Buss, 19952). Modern evolutionary psycholo-
sists do not assume that people’s evolved romantic desires gener-
ate conscious awareness that mating with certain people will yield
the most viable children. To the contrary, most psychological
adaptations probably operate at an unconscious level (see Bock &
Cardew, 1997), and some evolved mating desires, much like our
evolved taste preferences for salt and fat, may generate behaviors
that lead to lower rates of survival and reproduction in modern
industrialized cultures (Nesse & Williams, 1994),
‘What most evolutionary psychologists assume is that certain
psychological desires historically led to high rates of reproduction,
particularly during the ancestral epoch known as the Pleistocene,
‘when humans lived as small nomadie bands of foragers (Tooby &
‘Cosmides, 1992). It was within this ancient environment that some
romantic desizes probably led to higher rates of reproduction than
dl other desires and so may have been sculpted into the natural
‘mating psychology of men and women (Symons, 1979), Evolved
romantic desites, therefore, are considered by evolutionary psy
cchologists to be the historieal end products, not the current cause,
of differential reproductive success (Buss, 1994). Nevertheless, the
residual design features of our evolved desires scem to continue to
exert an unbidden influence on the form and effectiveness of
‘modern romantic traction behavior (Schmitt & Buss, 1996)
‘The fundamental assumption underlying the present research on
mate poaching behavior is that those in the past whose romantic
desires led them to succeed at poaching attraction outreproduced
‘those with alternative designs that ether failed at mate poaching or
Jacked mate poaching mechanisms entirely. Modem humans, in
short, have descended from romantically successful ancestors,
some of whom were successful mate poachers. As their descen-
ddants, modern humans may carry with them a specially designed
psychology of romantic desire, @ psychology that we expect will
cease evolutionarily predicted patterns to emerge within the realm
‘of human mate poaching.
Patterns of Human Mate Poaching
A large body of evidence suggests that certain partems of human
‘mate poaching have been and continue to be pervasive. Estimates of
‘extramarital alfais, one form of mate poaching, range between 20%
and 50%, depending on the study, method, and sample (Thompson,
1983; Wiederman, 1997). In most nonindustial cultures, it is “not
uncommon” for men and women to engage in extramarital affairs
(rouse & Greene, 1980, p. 320). Many of these poaches may be
‘temporary, shortterm incursions on the curent relstionship, repre
senting strategic one-night stands or bret affairs Paul, MeManus, &
Hayes, 2000), For instance, women seem to preferentially poach men
who possess symmetical features when seeking shoréterm mate-
ships, possibly because ofthe genetic robustness of such men (Gang-
stad & Thombill 1997). Afterward, these women often rejoin their
steady, long-term partners, leading to cuckoldry rates of up to 10% in
some cultures (Baker & Bellis, 1995).
Other forms of poaching, however, eventually progress to long-
term relationship takeovers, resulting in the dissolution of the
initial mateship and the formation of a new mating union. The
marital pattern of serial monogamy, which is common across
cultures and may constitute part of our natural mating system
(Fisher, 1987), sometimes results from a succession of long-term.
‘mate poaches. In some areas of the United States, this has recently
resulted in special poaching-related laws and civil litigation over
“alienation of affection” (see Buss, 2000), However, mate poach-
ing in all its forms has been a recuring feature in ancient mythol-
ogy (eg., Helen of Troy) and classi literature (e., DeLaclos,
1782/1995), One of the earliest recorded instances of romantic
attraction isa Biblical account of long-term mate poaching involy-
ing King David, who noticed the beautiful Bathsheba through a
indow. Afterward, King David seduced Bathsheba, purposefully
arranged for the death of her husband Uriah, and subsequently
‘married her (2 Samuel 11:2-27, Revised Standard Version)
‘Although we do not explore the idea inthis article, we expect that
‘mate poaching, by creating a profound adaptive problem for the mates
‘of those poached on, selects for mechanisms of mate guarding and
‘mate retention to fend off such poachers (Buss & Shackelford,
1997). Indeed, the prevalence of mate guarding tates, panicuarly
those designed to fend off interested rival, i prima facie evidence of
‘the potent influence of mate poaching, Given the pervasive presence
‘of mate poaching its varied and complex nature, andthe documented
importance of temporal context in general’ romantic attraction
(Schmitt & Buss, 1996) itis reasonable to hypothesize that a distinct
psychology may have evolved in response tothe temporally contin-
gent challenges of mate posching attraction.
Remarkably, very lille is known about the special psychology
fof mate poaching attraction. How often do people try to attract
others who are already in relationships, and what type of person is
most likely to be targeted by or engage in mate poaching attrac-
tion? Are there personality differences between those who poach
and those who have been taken away from their partners? What
kind of benefits might be reaped from undertaking a poaching
attempt, and what special costs might be incurred when atracting
an already-mated partner? What particular tactics do people use
‘when attempting @ mate poach? Do poaching tactics differ trom
general romantic attraction tacties? Why might some poaching
attempts be more effective than others?
In the current research, we explore the psychology of mate
poaching, both temporary, short-term incursions and permanent,
Tong-term takeovers. First, we identify the frequency of poaching
‘experiences across separate samples and isolate the distinctive
personal characteristics of the mate poachers (i.e. the interlopers),
those who are poached (ie. the people taken away from their
established relationships), and the poachees (ie., those whose
partners are taken away from them). In a second study, we inves-
tigate the particular costs and benefits of engaging in mate poach-
ing attraction. In a third study, we examine the perceived effec-
tiveness of poaching-specific attraction tacts. In a fourth stady,
\we consider whether poaching attraction effectiveness depends on
the type of relationship that is being encroached on. Across all
studies, we place an emphasis on the ways that mate poaching