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uk/for_children_young_people/better_mental_health/friends_family

FRIENDS AND FAMILY

If you're feeling low, friends and family can be vital
sources of support and can help you cope with stressful
situations and difficult times.
You may feel that people won’t understand but often people surprise you. They may have
experienced difficult times themselves and be able to offer advice. But it is important to remember
that, for most people, your friends and family care about you and will want what’s best for you and will
want to help you if they can.

When you are feeling down or having a hard time, it is important to spend time with other people.
Spending too much time on your own can sometimes make you feel worse.

HOW FRIENDS AND FAMILY CAN HELP

You can talk over problems or things that are bothering you or talk about how you are feeling.

 If you are stressed or feeling low, they can help you by talking things through, being there for you or
providing emotional support.
 People who are close to you will notice changes in your mood. They will probably know if you are not
feeling your best.
 They can help you with practical support and also emotional support – for example, with practical
support if you have a party that you feel you have to go to but feel uncomfortable going on your own, a
friend can go with you. Emotionally, if you feel uncomfortable going to see a doctor and talking about a
mental health problem, a friend or family member could go with you to help you to get across how you
are feeling or just be there with you.
 Sometimes if you are experiencing a difficult time, it is important to know you are not on your own and
surrounding yourself with friends and family can help.
 Sometimes treatment for mental health problems such as cognitive behavioural therapy introduces
coping strategies and your friends and family can help you to devise these and support you with them.
If you are feeling down or anxious or think you might have a mental health problem and feel you want
to talk to somebody about how you are feeling, here are some tips on how to choose someone to talk
to.

 Think about who you find it easy to talk to about personal matters. This could be your mum or dad, a
sibling, cousin or friend.
 Think about who you trust.
 Choose someone who is non-judgemental and a good listener.
 If you are choosing a friend, you may want to pick someone you have known for a while rather than a
new friend you have only met a couple of times as you are more likely to have a better picture of someone
you have known longer.
 You might choose to talk to someone who you think may have been in a similar situation to you or
would have empathy with how you are feeling. This is often why people choose forums because they feel
comfortable talking to people who have experienced similar things to them.
TALKING THINGS THROUGH
Top tips to help you feel comfortable talking about your problems.

1. Pick a time that is good for you both, where you both have enough time to have this conversation
properly and without being interrupted.
2. Go somewhere to talk where it is quiet and you will be able to concentrate.
3. Explain how you are feeling and any concerns you may have.
4. Ask for advice or support and explain what this friend of family member can do to help. Often friends
and families can feel helpless and don’t know what is the best way to help so can either go overboard and
overwhelm you or give you space which can make you feel like they don’t care. If you are clear about
how they can help you it will make the situation easier for both of you. For example, you might say, "I am
worried that I am feeling depressed, would you come to the doctors with me to discuss this?"
5. Make it clear if you do not want this person to say anything to anybody else. If you want to keep it
between the two of you for now, make sure the person you are talking to knows this.
Most people will have someone who they can talk to, either a friend or a family member. If you really
feel you don’t have anybody to talk to, you may want to join an online forum where people are
experiencing similar situations to you; for example, [Link] or ring a helpline.

FOR MORE INFORMATION

If you are finding it hard to identify someone you feel comfortable talking to, there are phone lines that
you can ring to talk through your problems.

 ChildLine
 Samaritans
If you are worried about a friend you could look at Epic Friends for advice.

Information about the website:

YoungMinds is the UK’s leading charity committed to improving the

emotional wellbeing and mental health of children and young people.
Driven by their experiences we campaign, research and influence
policy and practice.

MEET THE TEAM

The team at YoungMinds is uniquely informed about the
mental health and well-being service and support needs
of young people.
To translate this insight into evidence-led practice, we draw on a wide range of expertise from the field
of children and young people's mental health.
SARAH BRENNAN, CHIEF EXECUTIVE

Sarah Brennan became chief executive of YoungMinds on 12 May 2008. She had acted as its interim
chief executive since October 2007.

Sarah has over 25 years experience as a champion of young people’s causes, starting out in youth
and community work, teaching and youth counselling.  She gained an MSc in Voluntary Sector
Organisation at LSE in 1990. From 1994 to 2001, she became director of services at the youth
homelessness charity Centrepoint, moving to Motiv8, a charity creating life chances for young people,
as Chief Executive.

LUCIE RUSSELL, DIRECTOR OF CAMPAIGNS AND MEDIA

Lucie has worked at the cutting edge of the social justice sector for 20 years. She started out as a
youth worker, then qualified as a social worker and worked in childrens services for 5 years.

In 1991 she started The Big Issue magazine with its founder, John Bird and in 1995 she started The
Big Issue’s charity, The Big Issue Foundation, which provides support services to homeless people

In 2002 she created SmartJustice, a national campaign based at the Prison Reform Trust which
promoted community solutions to crime and ran the campaign until she joined YoungMinds in 2009.

CHRISTOPHER WALKER, DIRECTOR OF

FUNDRAISING
Christopher Walker has worked as a fundraiser for children and young people’s charities in the United
Kingdom and United States since 1997, including for Depaul UK, Centrepoint and Prevent Child
Abuse America. Christopher served as a Trustee of YoungMinds for two years before joining as staff
in 2011. His novel Now You Know was published in 2012 by Acorn Independent Press.

LYSANNE WILSON, DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS

Lysanne qualified as a physiotherapist, specialising in paediatrics, having started her career as a

linguist and worked as an English teacher with VSO in Kenya. She then moved into health
management to be able to better influence the way services were designed and delivered to meet the
real needs of patients, working in both the developing world and London. Before joining Young Minds,
Lysanne managed children’s health services in South London for over ten years, having worked on
various health related projects in Uganda for three years.

Lysanne is responsible for leading and managing the teams who deliver YoungMinds services to
clients, including Parentline, Training and Consultancy and Young People’s Engagement and
Participation. She is the safeguarding lead for the organisation.
LAURIE OLIVA, YOUTH ENGAGEMENT MANAGER
Laurie joined YoungMinds as Youth Engagement Manager in 2013 and oversees YoungMinds’
participation work, ensuring that children and young people’s voices and experiences are at the heart
of national and local decision-making about children and young people’s mental health and emotional
wellbeing and that they are able to influence the design and delivery of mental health services.

Laurie came to YoungMinds from the Children and Young People’s Mental Health Coalition. Prior to
moving into mental health, Laurie led the development of the national youth engagement programme
at Stonewall, the lesbian, gay and bisexual charity- working with thousands of young people across
England through campaigning and leadership programmes.  In other roles in participation Laurie has
worked in social housing and with refuges and asylum seekers; young offenders and other
disadvantaged groups. Outside of her work at YoungMinds Laurie is involved in campaigning and
volunteering activities related to social justice and equality issues.

CRYSS MENNACEUR, HR MANAGER

Cryss Mennaceur joined YoungMinds as HR and Office Manager in June 2013.

Cryss has been an HR professional for 18 years. Much of this was spent as a learning and
organisational development specialist in both the public and voluntary sectors. More recently Cryss
has worked in a broader range of HR roles in the voluntary sector in young people and family
orientated charities. Cryss is a Chartered Fellow of the CIPD. In her last role at Solace Women’s Aid
she also had responsibility for ICT and Facilities, volunteers and service user involvement.

Prior to her HR career, Cryss worked on a range of Social and Transport research projects.

CHRIS LEAMAN, MEDIA AND PUBLIC AFFAIRS OFFICER

Chris is YoungMinds Media and Public Affairs Officer and joined in September 2011 from the world of
politics. Chris had previously worked for a Member of Parliament as their Press and Campaigns
Officer and then became responsible for running political campaigns across London. Elected as a
local councillor in 2006, he has undertaken several roles in local government including Chair of Health
Scrutiny Committee. At YoungMinds, Chris is responsible for promoting YoungMinds key messages
and policy aspirations through the media and to all levels of government.