Professional Communication Skills

Aamna Khalid

Writing with Impact Practice Tasks

Task 1: Writing with clarity and conciseness. Read the paragraph below and highlight the
words or expressions that make the text less clear and less concise. Then rewrite it in a clear and
concise manner.

There are only a very few researchers who think that Western theories of health behavior change can be
applied equally well to all populations. Some theories have made adjustments to account for cultural
difference. However, these are few and far between. There are a number of writers who have suggested
that modifications to existing theories are insufficient. They point to studies that have previously
demonstrated that the assumptions underlying Western theories are inconsistent with the worldviews
of many of the clients/patients we might encounter. Other authors take more of a fly by the seat of your
pants approach, adapting models to fit with each individual client/patient in the moment, even though
they may not all agree with the basic theoretical position of the particular practitioner and drawing on
both Western and Eastern models that speak effectively to one another. “Theories are only theories –
they are not as important as our clients. The way that we practice and the theories we draw upon
should be assessed in light of the needs of our clients. In this way, we meet our professional obligation
to address the needs of all of our clients” (Brown, 2005, p. 45). If theories are applied appropriately then
clients/patients are more likely to continue to access your services than simply applying theories in the
same way with everyone

Task 2: Write a linguistically “better” version of the following:

Faced with the grim financial reality, both groups agreed that the talks about the company's efficiency
problems had achieved a very good result. Advice from outside said the company could bring about big
change by increasing the amount of goods produced per hour. The unions accepted this comment but
suggested the gains would be reached faster if management came up with better policies as well as
buying better equipment. Management said spending on equipment had gone up by 15% during the
1990s but they agreed to look into this issue. The reaction to the talks was pretty good and has resulted
in everyone getting on better at work.

Task 3: Read the paragraph below and highlight words that create an unprofessional or
disrespectful tone.

In recent years, researchers have prioritized self-reflection in the training of health care practitioners.
Oddly, none of these researchers has identified the need for reflexive practice constructs to be applied
to those responsible for the education of nurses, counsellors, or other health care practitioners. They
stated that modeling in the supervision process one is of the most effective ways to encourage
selfawareness. However, most completely missed the connection to the role of educators. A few did a
better job of pulling together the various elements of the training process. They focused in particular on
techniques for building self-awareness through courses, applied practice experiences, and supervision of
theses. What this writer does not understand is researchers’ lack of focus on the level of self-awareness
and self-reflection by educators themselves.
Task 4: Tone in Professional Writing. Refer to the 10-point scale below. The following extract
from a government letter that scores a 6 on this tone scale.
Rewrite it so that the tone of the letter is between 5-official and 4-formal but friendly.

It should be noted that Council endeavors to expedite the process of approval by preparing a summary
of formal submissions that have been received with respect to applications of the nature indicated by
your correspondence, however submissions are able to be reviewed in complete form by Council
members prior to a final decision being made. (55 words, Officialese)

Tone Text

1. Text language Thx 4 yr text ;- )

2. Informal Got your note and liked it.

3. Chatty Thanks for your note. I've read it with interest

4. Formal yet
Thanks for your letter and the comments you make.
friendly

5. Official I have received your letter and noted the matters you raise.

Receipt is acknowledged of your recent communication, whose comments have been

6. Officialese
noted.

Acknowledgement is hereby made of your communication (hereinafter the 'letter') by

7. Legalese
the undersigned who has apprehended its matter

Your esteemed favor to hand of the fourth ultimo; the contents of same have been
8. 19th century
duly appraised.

Let it be hereafter promulgated that said missive has been gazetted and cognizance
9. Ceremonial
raised pursuant to its substance.

10. Biblical I receiveth unto me they epistle, and its wisdom escapeth me not.
 Task 5: Read the 2 versions of the email written by Angel Keller. Decide which version
seems more “effective”?
Version A Version B

TO: Rachel Coker TO: Rachel Coker

FROM: Angel Keller FROM: Angel Keller

SUBJECT: Request for Shift Change SUBJECT: Request for Shift Change

I have received your request dated September 15 We have approved your request for transfer to the night shift. I
to change from the day shift to the night shift. am sure you will enjoy working with Matt Douglas, your new
shift leader.
I have approved the request effective October 2.
I will have everyone notified by then, so you can You begin working the night shift (midnight to 8 a.m.) on
start the late shift on that day. Monday, October 2. Please continue working the day shift
through Friday, September 29.
I hope this allows you to work out all your
problems. Rachel, you are an asset to our company, and we are pleased to
approve this change to assist you in improving your child-care
arrangements.

Task 6: Read the 2 versions of the email written by Sheri Jackson. Decide which version seems
more effective?

Version A Version B

Subject: Denial of Request for Vacation Subject: Request for Vacation

From: Sheri Jackson - sheri@[Link] From: Sheri Jackson - sheri@[Link]
To: Cody@[Link] To: Cody@[Link]

Sheri, thank you for your email requesting vacation time from
I must deny your request for a two-week vacation from February 6 to 19. You have been doing an excellent job as department
February 6 to 19. I cannot let you go during this period. manager and certainly deserve a vacation.
This is a busy time for all six locations of Good Neighbor
Pharmacies and you must be here. Good Neighbor Pharmacies is conducting its annual inventory during
the first two weeks of February. It is important for all employees to
Please plan your vacation at a different time. perform their normal duties during this period. Your supervision of
your department has made it one of our most successful areas, and
your assistance during the inventory will be of great value.

The inventory will be completed by February 14. You can begin your
two-week vacation any time after February 15. Please email me the
dates for the two-week period that you choose for your vacation.

Your excellent work is appreciated, and I hope that you will be

associated with GNP for many years.
Task 7: Indirect Pattern. A letter refusing warranty coverage. Sentences in this letter
have been numbered – but are scrambled up and hence need to be organized. Arrange the sentences
using the indirect pattern for message organization.

1. The ABC is an excellent value, and once your machine is repaired, it can provide you with years of
excellent service.

2. Thank you for allowing us to examine your ABC.

3. When we examined your ABC, we discovered that the video card had been installed incorrectly, which
caused a number of circuits to short out.

4. Although the improper installation of the video card nullifies the warranty on your ABC, we can repair
the ABC and reinstall the video card for $479.