Formal Conversations - Handout
I am sure that you are confident of initiating and carrying out informal conversations, now let's
look at the more difficult part of conversational skills formal conversational skills. Business
conversations or conversations at work have outcomes and these outcomes are measured.
Hence it is important that we follow a specific structure in formal conversations
Before we understand how to create situational dialogues, let us understand the nature of
communication
Communication is Perception- is highly personal and has a large component of emotions, values
and needs of individual. Effectiveness of communication thus is limited to the range of
perception of the recipient.
Communication is Expectation – people perceive only what they expect to-depending upon
their own needs, values, motives, background or even the situational context. The unexpected
is ignored or misunderstood.
Communication makes Demand- are in terms of emotional selection, preferences or rejection
on part of the receiver. It has been scientifically established that the words with pleasant
association are retained easier and longer in a person’s memory than otherwise.
It is important that we keep these points in mind before we converse in Business Situations
We generally have conversations at work for the following reasons
1. Ask for information
2. Give information
3. Seek Clarifications
4. Give Directions
5. Convey Bad news & Delays
6. Show appreciation and Give Feedback
Let us see how we can use these acronyms to create clear structure for formal conversations
1. Ask for Information – FOCUS
An Example
Focus the discussion on the specific information you need. Do not get diverted by any side
trackers
“I need to ask you about the computer meeting you attended yesterday”.
Open-end question to expand the discussion. Open ended questions give us more information
than close ended questions.
“What kinds of decisions were made regarding expansion of our departmental system?”
Close-end question to get specifics. Confirm your understanding using close ended questions.
“Did the committee decide to buy Dell computers”?
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Use active listening skills to understand what you are hearing. Clarification is important to
confirm your understanding
“What I think I heard you say was that the decision was made”
Summarize and close the discussion – For important information it is essential that you
summarize
“So to wrap up, the system will expand and we will be using Dells. Thanks for keeping me up to
date”.
1. Give Information – SHARE
State the main point of your message
“I’d like to talk to you about the new employee welcome program”.
Highlight other important points
“We need to discuss the new schedule, locations, and presenters”.
Assure the receiver’s understanding
“Do you need me to further clarify how we are making invitations”?
Respond to the receiver
“I understand your concern about parking”.
Emphasize/summarize your main ideas
“To wrap-up, I’ll develop the schedule and make the room reservations, if you can line up the
guest speakers”.
1. Seek Clarifications – READ PAGES
• Reflect on the content
• Express understanding
• Ask one question at a time
• Develop on what is shared
• Probe on what is not said
• Acknowledge the speaker's feelings
• Give input on your understanding
• Explore the basis of a conclusion
• Summarize understanding
2. LIONS – Give Directions
Language easily understood: “Let’s start by understanding how to create a web page.”
Illustrations: “First you will need to fill the following information: …”
Organize thoughts: “Here are the steps that you would need to follow to create the web page:”
Narrow down subject to the key points: “You will be able to view, edit and save your web
page.”
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Summarize: “This sums up the details on how to create a webpage, fill in the necessary
information, follow the steps, create, view, edit and save your web page. You can now start
creating your web page.”
3. Conveying Delays - ASAP
Acknowledge and Apologise
I have completed X modules, however while I was working on the Y module, there was a server
shutdown. I have not been able to complete the “Y” module. I am sorry
Sympathize and show empathy
I understand that the deadline is tomorrow and we may not be able to get an extension
Accept responsibility and show commitment
I have started working on it and I will try to complete as much as I can today. Would it be
possible to get an extension?
Prepare to help and complete the task given
In case we do not get an extension I am willing to work today and tomorrow to complete the
task
4. Giving Feedback - STATE
Specify the purpose of your feedback
“I’d like to give you some feedback about your training style so that your evaluations will be
more positive and you will enjoy it more”.
Tell specifically what you have observed
“I notice that you rely heavily on your notes”.
Address and describe your reactions
“I feel as though you are unsure of yourself when you read”.
Tender specific suggestions for improvement
“I can help you develop a PowerPoint presentation so that you can use the screens as a cue
instead of being tied to your notes”.
Express your support for the person
“You know a lot about the subject. With practice you can become a good trainer”.
Here is another conversational tip
T = Think before you speak
A = Apologize quickly when you blunder
C = Converse, don’t compete
T = Time your comments
F = Focus on behavior – not personality
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U = Uncover hidden feelings
L = Listen to feedback
Wish you good luck. Turn your conversations to Effective conversations.
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