In many countries, shops have extended business hours almost every day of the
week. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion? To what extent do
you support this development?
In this sophisticated world, more and more people are enthusiastic to increase
their earnings. Owing to this reason, the trend of opening shops till late hours is
increasingly becoming popular in many nations. Although this phenomenon has a
few shortcomings, I arguably consider that it a positive approach overall, as this
essay will demonstrate.
Were the shopkeepers to extend their shop timings, it could disturb their work-
life balance. This is mainly due to the fact that the amount of quality-time with
family members and children will be curtailed significantly. This is supported by
recent empirical research carried out by The Tribune, in which they claim that the
divorce cases rose by 30% in 2018 as shop-owners or small businessmen opened
their shops for 12 to 16 hours daily which weakens their family bonding. Thus, it
is substantially clear that by extending work time, it tend to have detrimental
effect on personal life.
On the other hand, although stretching the shop timings bestow upon numerous
benefits for both businessmen and customers, the prime one is that it boosts the
financial status of employers. Since shops open for long hours, the number of
clients has more time to shop, thereby escalating the income of shop managers.
Secondary advantage of this scheme is that it provides flexibility to shop,
meaning that many corporate employees working from 9 am to 5 pm could not
manage time to go for shopping, but now it has become convenient for them to
shop after office hours. Therefore, it is conclusively true that if shop time is
increased, it will be advantageous for everyone.
In conclusion, while I understand that opening stores for longer durations can
have some possible adverse effect on family relations, I think it behoves us to
maintain balance between personal and professional life. If we were able to do so,
it would be a win-win situation for customers as well as business persons.
Dear Daphne,
I have a query, can we write interrogative sentences in essays? In order to
increase range.
I have written the Introduction again.
People’s opinions differ wildly on this perennial question: is it beneficial or
detrimental to extend business hours? These days in many nations a number of
shops are open till late night every day. Admittedly, it is a positive development
overall, although it was a few shortcomings, as this essay will demonstrate.
Also, I have learnt a few words.
1. Behoves, means it is responsibility of someone to do something.
Is it correctly used here?
2. Trigger.
Were the shopkeepers to extend their shop timings, it could trigger an
imbalance in their sound personal life.
Is this sentence correct?
From the last essay, I rewrite the sentences here. Is it right?
Parents shoulder the burden of tuition fee, and it will be curtailed significantly if
their offspring start doing part-time jobs. This will give more time for both
mother and father to enjoy leisure activities.
Conclusion of last essay.
This trend has a few drawbacks, which, when compared to the benefits, are
negligible.
I mean that it has very less drawbacks as comparing to the benefits.
Mistakes I made in last essays.
In the contemporary era…. in today’s world.
Demerits…… shortcomings.
To commence with, .. no more to use.
Irregular jobs…… part-time employments, temporary occupations, posts,
professions.
Next life…. Next stage of life.
Procure…… gain.
While performing tasks in companies…… gaining experience in companies.
Following this approach…… by contributing to the family finances.
Land in job opportunities.. detrimental effects on job opportunities.
2nd essay..
Olympics.. …..The Olympics
Carry out events…….hold these events…. Or no need for the extravagance
on these events.
Pinch of salt or semi;colon…. No more to use.
Reasons to conduct….. reasons for conducting.
In the world…. In the troubled world.
Platform to……. Platform for ..
Cater recognition….. bring recognition..
Proliferates economy….. proliferates success in the local economy.
A recent research…. Recent research…
1st essay.
Skills and creativity….. talents and imaginations.
Enjoyable ….. interesting..
I think mistakes are mainly the wrong word usage.
A Formal Complaint
You have eaten at a restaurant and it was such a terrible experience that you
have decided to inform the manager by letter of what happened, and that you
want your money back. Things to include:
1) Facts. You need to be concise but explain what happened.
2) Polite. No one responds to insults.
3) Outline what you wish from this. What do you want to happen?
4) Firmness. You want to be taken seriously.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am contacting you to express my strong dissatisfaction regarding my last visit to
your restaurant.
Although I have visited your hotel several times and I was quite satisfied with the
services, my last and recent visit on October 23rd was a horrible experience. It
was an occasion of my parent’s wedding anniversary, and I reserved a table for 5
persons nearly a week ago, but when I reached there, I was told to wait for 2
hours.
Moreover, I especially asked for an eggless Cake, but I was offered a non-
vegetarian cake which was not acceptable at any cost. Additionally, not only was
the quality of food poor, but quantity was also inadequate, and it seemed to me as
it was stale.
I felt very disappointed as it was an auspicious moment for my family and owing
to unprofessionalism by your team, it was ruined completely.
I want full refund of my money otherwise I would resort to take a legal action
against you.
Regards,
Russell.