Cassie Sharp

Professor Stalbird

ENG1201

24 March 2019

Stigma Surrounding Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder, more commonly known as BPD, is a personality

disorder affecting roughly 1.6 percent of the U.S. population alone (Salters 1). Despite the

commonality of this disorder, it is not well-known by the general public. While BPD is found in

more people than schizophrenia, it remains as one of the most misunderstood disorders to date.

The stigma surrounding this disorder, unfortunately, does not stop with the public; this unease

and mistreatment has found its way into the office of many clinicians. This scarlet letter branded Commented [1]: do you have any examples of the
mistreatment so that we are convinced of the "scarlet
letter?' Nice allusion, btw.
on those with BPD significantly decreases their quality of life, leaving many without answers

and unsatisfying relationships. Borderline Personality Disorder does not deserve the reputation it

has, and the first few steps in removing this mark of shame lie within the mental health

community treating people with BPD as humans with a treatable disability - instead of patients

who can’t be helped, media halting the harmful portrayals of this disorder, and mandatory mental

health education for the general public.

The DSM-IV, the collection of criteria defined by the APA and used by mental health

professionals in order to diagnose patients with mental disorders, defines BPD as, “a pervasive

pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image ... and marked impulsivity

beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts” (“Diagnostic criteria for

301.83 Borderline Personality Disorder” 1). In simpler terms, BPD could be described as a
personality disorder that mainly affects the patient’s relationships, though the disturbances are

typically noted specifically in romantic relationships. One of the main reasons for this relational

instability is due to one of the many symptoms of BPD, which is commonly referred to as

“splitting,” or “black-and-white thinking” (Salters 1). Splitting is, essentially, the struggle or

complete inability to think of ideas, things, or people outside of an extreme binary. While these

people may understand that not everything is strictly one thing or another, they find it very

difficult to stray from this way of thinking. Many specialists believe splitting is an unconscious

response to protect the person from emotional distress, though it is often seen to have the

opposite effect.

The two sides of splitting are generally termed to be devaluation and idealization, the

feelings being negative and positive respectively. Usually occurring within short spans of time

and being intense in nature, episodes of splitting tend to be extremely mentally straining and

stressful for all parties involved. During periods of splitting, one with BPD experiences

extraordinary emotional stress, especially if they are aware of what is happening. These emotions

and thoughts are typically with regards to someone the person with BPD has a strong emotional

connection to or has imprinted on, also known as an FP or Favorite Person

(Imprinting/Splitting/"Favorite Person” 1). FP is a term that was coined by the BPD community

referring to the person upon whom one with BPD relies for emotional stability and validation.

Likely, this is where the harmful stigma that people with BPD are inherently abusive

takes its roots. Many articles across the internet perpetuate biased opinions and

overgeneralizations about this disorder, feeding into the unease regarding people with BPD. A

quick scroll through different Reddit forums showcase a plethora of anonymous users recounting

their supposed horror stories with ex-partners who allegedly had BPD. The manipulative and
toxic behaviors most of these commentators mention are their significant others threatening

suicide at the prospect of being broken up with, gaslighting (denying events that happened and

making the other person question their sanity as a way to avoid blame or guilt), lying, and verbal

abuse. These are all textbook abusive behaviors, however, they are not synonymous with the

symptoms of BPD. BPD is characterized by taking part in self-destructive and impulsive

behaviors, as well as a deep fear and avoidance of abandonment - whether that fear be real or

falsely perceived. While some may go to extremes to avoid that fear becoming a reality, there is

no plausible evidence to back up the notion that those with BPD are inherently abusive due to

this disorder. Over-generalization is a big contributor to this problem; in psychology,

generalizations sometimes have to be made in order to improve treatments for disorders. This is a

double-edged sword, however, because no two people experience an illness in the exact same

way. This is how the stereotype of people with BPD being abusive came to be so prevalent, both

within and outside of the mental health community.

While Borderline has been found to have a genetic link, it typically manifests in those

who experienced a traumatic event in their younger years, such as being physically or

emotionally abused. Claire, a woman that has been professionally diagnosed with BPD and blogs

about her struggles with it, details her experiences on time to change:

[B]etween the ages of 16 and 23, I had to deal with trauma after trauma. I did start to open up
more after a breakdown ... I had to start being honest with myself as much as anyone else. But
even after recovering and getting back to everyday life, the battle wasn’t over. Difficult
relationships, problems at university and work due to my deteriorating mental wellbeing, lost
friendships and culminating in the death of my mom - I dropped into the darkest place I had ever
been emotionally and psychologically. After a few volatile months, my fiance made it clear that I
needed more help beyond just what I had accepted for my ‘depression’. I tell curious people that
I was diagnosed with BPD after spilling my life story to a psychiatrist, where he came to a
diagnosis within twenty minutes of my rabbiting on. When he told me, I sighed with relief. I
wasn’t a bad person after all, I was ill. (“I Have BPD: I'm Ill, Not a Bad Person” 1)
 Most of those afflicted with BPD are highly aware of their actions, as well as their

thoughts and feelings. Many harbor deep-seated senses of guilt - like Claire - and self-hatred,

believing that they are, at their core, a bad person instead of recognizing that they are someone

with a disorder which alters their thought processes. The portrayal of this disorder in media

certainly does not help, either.

The ‘crazy ex-girlfriend’ trope is so commonplace that there is even an entire show on

the CW of the namesake archetype. The main character, Rebecca Bunch, drops everything in her

life - notably, on impulse - in order to pursue a relationship with a former partner. Rebecca is

even shown saying, “I got stuck on, like, wanting you to say I was a good person, because if you

believed it, then somehow I could believe it too” (50+ Best “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Quotes 1).

While this could be considered an accurate portrayal of how those with BPD rely heavily on

validation from those they care about, this was not the show’s intention. The writers meant for

this to be a tender moment, as well as a look into how Rebecca thinks of herself. She does not

believe she is a good person, and needed that validation to come from someone she cared deeply

for. Instead of elaborating on this point, however, the show moves along with the plot and never

delves into the possibility of Rebecca being neurodivergent. While this was most likely not done

with malicious intent, the surface-level presentation of symptoms common in a serious

personality disorder both fails to raise awareness and accurately portray a character with BPD.

While all of the information previously mentioned mainly deals with the general public’s

attitude towards BPD, all of the messages (subliminal or otherwise) that are showcased have

been shown to worm their way into the offices of many clinicians. As someone who has been
professionally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, this is something I have

personally had the misfortune of experiencing.

When I was around thirteen-years-old, my parents began to notice my abnormal

relationship patterns with friends and romantic interests alike. I would go from loving someone

and cherishing them as if they were the most precious treasure one day, to never wanting

anything to do with them the next. My best friends at the time could just as easily become my

sworn enemies at the drop of a hat, for seemingly no reason. I never understood why this was

happening and despised myself for it. I never wanted to feel such hatred and contempt for those I

cared about the most, but it was as if I had no jurisdiction of my emotions.

When I was fifteen, my parents decided it would be beneficial for me to meet with a

counselor once every two weeks to try and figure out what was going on. Those sessions did not

last very long, as I only saw that counselor twice. However, the things she said to me during

those meetings prompted me to do research of my own about what I was experiencing.

Everywhere I looked said that I showed many of the symptoms of BPD, but many of those same

sources made me feel sick to my stomach for having those feelings and reactions. “Toxic”,

“manipulative”, and “psychotic” were just a few of the words that were used to describe people

like me.

I was ashamed and could not bring myself to read or talk about the subject anymore until

I was almost seventeen. After two failed relationships and countless ruined friendships, I decided

it was time to give therapy another shot. That was when I had my first experience being ridiculed

by someone who I thought could help me. “That diagnosis would be such a burden,” the therapist

had said. While it was not explicitly stated, I felt as though they said my existence as someone

with Borderline was simply disgraceful; a deadweight that others had to carry.
 Being cast aside by society is harsh enough, but for many with Borderline, the same

happens from those that are supposed to be supportive of those with mental health issues.

Borderline Personality Disorder has only been extensively researched within the last decade, so

there are many aspects of it that are still misunderstood or not yet known. As a result of this,

those who practice in the mental health field are either misinformed or not informed on the

matter at all. Helpline coordinator for the National Alliance on Mental Illness Cameron Hancock

writes in his article, “The Stigma Associated with Borderline Personality Disorder”, that recent

studies have shown that, “even some mental health professionals have more stigmatizing views

about BPD than any other mental health condition: As some choose to limit the amount of BPD

patients they’re ‘willing’ to see or refuse to treat people with BPD altogether” (1).

While I was fortunate enough to eventually find a psychologist who was willing to work

with me and finally put a name to what it was that I was experiencing, that doesn’t change or fix

what millions of other people are going through. I have endured and continue to work through

constant self-doubt, an unstable sense of identity, and intense mood swings with the help of my

therapist, but I will never forget what it was like to suffer alone. The fact that there are still so Commented [2]: Big love to you, Cassie! <3

many people like me who are refused the treatment and aid I was lucky to receive is abhorrent,

and something that needs to change.

Now, how can all of this be changed? How can we, as a society, work together to prohibit

further misunderstanding and provide assistance to those with Borderline? There is no concise

answer to this, but rather a myriad of available actions that could very well lead to a solution.

Nancy Barile, an award-winning teacher of twenty-plus years, believes a step in the right

direction would be the integration of mental health education in schools:

The National Alliance on Mental Illness estimates that one in five people live with some sort of
mental disorder or disease. Despite the fact that the average age of early signs of mental illness is
14, most individuals don't seek help until adulthood. Underlining the seriousness is the fact that
60 percent of high school students with mental illness don't graduate. New York mental health
experts recognized that earlier intervention could result in more positive outcomes for these
students ... [t]he overall mission of New York's School Mental Health (SMH) program is to
promote healthy social, emotional, and behavioral development of students, and ‘break down
barriers to learning so the general well-being of students, families, and school staff can be
enhanced in collaboration with other comprehensive student support and services. (The
Importance of Mental Health Awareness in Schools 1)

In regards to my own experience with mental health education in mandatory health

classes, the material that was presented was lackluster at best. The teacher went into great detail

about depression and anxiety, while briefly touching on bipolar disorder. When it came to the

more complicated mental abnormalities, such as schizophrenia and personality disorders, this is

where things became very rocky. I distinctly remember the teacher saying, when asked about

BPD, “Oh, those are like the girls that cut themselves if you threaten to break up with them or

something.” In hindsight, that was probably not the best message to send to impressionable

thirteen-year-olds.

Since the typical age of onset for BPD is in the mid to late teenage years, making mental

health education a mandatory part of the school curriculum could greatly diminish the

misconceptions and myths surrounding not only Borderline, but many other misunderstood

disorders as well. Sociologically speaking, teenagers are rapidly approaching the stage in life

where core values and beliefs are typically permanently set. Preventing harmful biases from

forming in the first place by educating young minds on the matter of mental health can promote

more understanding and empathetic responses in the future.

 Another possible solution to rectifying this issue of stigma is to have accurate media

portrayals of mental disorders. The most recent offense of inaccurate media portrayal of a

neurodivergent person that comes to the mind of many is the characterization of Hannah Baker

in the Netflix original, 13 Reasons Why. In Laura Greenstein’s article, “‘13 Reasons Why’ Hurts

Vulnerable Teens”, she mentions that the show is a, “suicide revenge fantasy”, and that 13

Reasons seemed to completely ignore one of the guidelines created by [Link]

by showing a graphic scene in which Hannah commits suicide (1). [Link] has

made a set of guidelines for media to follow in an attempt to prevent, “media-prompted suicides

from happening” (Greenstein 1). On their website, [Link] strongly advises

media to avoid, “Including photos/videos of the location or method of death, grieving family,

friends, memorials, or funerals” (1). 13 Reasons decided to put Hannah’s suicide on full display,

showing, as well as narrating, the location, method, as well as her distraught parents discovering

her body.

While this in and of itself doesn’t necessarily pertain to BPD, it exemplifies a disturbing

pattern of unrealistic depictions of mental illness that has seemingly become a trend in pop

culture in recent years. As mentioned previously, however, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend romanticizes and

attempts to make the Borderline personality seem humorous, as opposed to a very serious mental

illness that can be debilitating for many people. Not only does this lead to false assumptions

about the disorder within the general public, but it also creates feelings of shame and

embarrassment in those who actually have this disorder.

Many of these inaccuracies could be fixed by writers consulting with mental health

professionals prior to production and/or publication, as well as doing proper research. While

many may argue that people have just become too sensitive and need to learn to take a joke, it is
so much more than being easily offended. There is a great difference between making a joke at

your own expense or making light of a dark topic and having a complete disregard for how one’s

words and actions can affect others. It is not a matter of being politically correct or too sensitive;

it is a matter of treating people as people, and understanding that when one is in a position where

they have influence over others, what they say and do matter. People pay attention to things both

consciously and unconsciously. While they may not actively think of people with BPD as evil

and unfeeling, oftentimes those messages creep their way into the collective subconscious and

create a harmful stigma.

In conclusion, Borderline Personality Disorder is a complicated cluster B disorder that is

often oversimplified and demonized. Through inaccuracies communicated by popular media,

biases held by medical professionals and general widespread misinformation, BPD is stigmatized

to a heightened degree. From many patients being refused from clinics to relationships ending

before they have a chance to begin, the general treatment of those with BPD is unjust and can be

fixed simply with higher quality mental health education, accurate media representation, and

more research and knowledge becoming available to clinicians.

This image from The Family and Youth Institute briefly explains what BPD is, how it is treated,

as well as the stigma surrounding it.

Works Cited
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