Rachel Pung

English 315 12:30

December 6, 2018

Part I: Kidwatching Description and Reflection

Understanding How Language & Literacy Develop

This semester, my focal student was a very passionate and caring fifth grader. Towards

the beginning of my placement experience, my host teacher paired me up with my focal student

and I worked with her almost every day after that when I was there. From talking to her, I have

learned that her parents are separated and her dad lives in Tennessee while she lives with her

mom and Uncle. She hopes to go back and see her dad soon. From what I have observed, she

does not appear to have regular access to hygiene supplies and common practices, as she

sometimes comes to school with greasy hair that is not brushed. She also does not seem to have

the privilege to access a lot of literature at home as she is farther behind in her writing than other

classmates. I believe some of her writing errors are due to a lack of literature in her everyday life.

Through helping her write her personal narrative, I have also learned that her brother is

handicapped, in a wheelchair, and cannot talk. From the conversations I have had with her she

seems to be really close to her family and enjoys their company. She is also an animal lover and

loves to play with her dog at home in her free time.

Once my focal student opened up to me, it was like she was a totally different person. At

first she was really shy and towards the end it was hard to keep her on track as she wanted to talk

about anything and everything. She is very passionate about her writing as well as eager to share

what she has written. This is a strength I believe she can build on. On top of being eager to share,

she is pretty good at spelling compared to others in her class. However, she has some difficulty
with dialogue and putting her thoughts on paper. From her sharing skills, these things seemed to

get better towards the end of her personal narrative as we worked on it sentence by sentence,

typing what she said aloud.

Interacting with Children

The interactions with my focal students have been both positive and negative. The first

couple interactions were not the best as I was trying to catch her up with her personal narrative.

At this point, she had nothing in her writer’s notebook nor anything typed on the computer. It

took a couple classes of interactions to finally get a story that she could write about and only

focus on a small moment of it. This was another struggle the first couple times as she wanted to

tell a watermelon story instead of a seed story. Once we got a seed story going, the process

picked up and the interactions to follow were positive and optimistic. She was really eager and

energetic about sharing with me what she had added to her story.

As stated above, I was paired with my focal student a couple days into my placement.

From this time on, I would work one on one with her during writing time. A lot of the days were

spent trying to finish up her vocab sentences for the week and the rest was spent working on her

personal narrative. I would have anywhere from ten to twenty minutes each day to work with

her. Since we did not have much time together, I tried not to ask off topic questions especially

since she was so far behind on her writing as it was.

My focal student seems to learn best through visual sources and through practice. At the

beginning of her narrative she struggled with adding in dialogue but towards the end she seemed

to catch on. I think her vocab sentences helped a lot as she was practicing dialogue in those as

well. When conferencing with her, I tried to focus on her narrative sentence by sentence. This

allowed her to add in the correct punctuation for each sentence and helped her to translate her
thoughts onto paper as she seemed to struggle with both of these. It also helped a lot when her

teacher went over examples on the visualizer. This made it easier for her to follow along.

Observing or Documenting Children’s Knowledge

Through my observations, I have learned that my focal student is good at spelling. When

reading through her work, there is often little to no spelling errors in her writing. If there are

errors, I am able to help her sound them out. Although she struggles with staying on topic in her

writing and transferring her thoughts onto paper, once we talk through it, she does not seem to

have a lot of problems rewriting what we discussed. Her developing language skills are evident

in the work she did to finish her personal narrative when I was not there. When I left on

Thursday, she only had a couple paragraphs typed (half a page) and when I came back the

following Tuesday she had a page and a half done. Not only was she able to stay on track with

her story, but she was also able to add in dialogue. When we meet on this Tuesday, we had to

make some grammatical corrections, but nothing like we had to in the beginning. The fact that

she added in multiple sentences of dialogue by herself is enough evidence to see her language

development.

When observing my focal student in the classroom versus the time we spend one on one,

I noticed she is a lot more talkative when it is just us two. I do not recall ever hearing her

volunteer to share aloud with the class. When it is just us two, she will talk about anything and

everything and she seems more engaged in her writing.

Engaging in Self Evaluation

During each of our conferences I tried to start by asking her how her writing was going.

This allowed me to see what she needed help on or where to direct that day’s lesson. Some days

she did not have anything new written from the day before, so we would just continue writing the
personal narrative where she left off or based on her teacher’s mini lesson. In this personal

narrative a lot of the focus was on adding in dialogue. Since she seemed to struggle with

dialogue, one day we had to just focus on what the difference between telling a story and

dialogue was. When she first started writing her narrative, she wanted to put quotation marks

around the whole story as she was saying it to me. This was a lesson I struggled with when trying

to explain the difference to her as nothing seemed to work. Finally, after giving her many

different examples of dialogue and showing (not just telling) how these examples were different

than telling a story it had finally clicked. She was now adding in dialogue on her own and

seemed to be doing really well with it. The next step was to help her understand the punctuation

of dialogue. When focusing on punctuation, I would have her focus on one sentence at a time. I

would ask questions like: “Do you remember what goes at the beginning?” “Are we missing

anything in this sentence?” “Should we have a comma or are you saying this with excitement?”

These seemed to help as she knew she needed to have quotation marks before and after the part

she was saying as well as a comma or an exclamation mark before the last quotation. Although

she does not get this perfect every time, she has improved a lot. It is very evident that I took kid

watching perspective into the classroom by the type of questions I would ask my focal student;

most of which were open ended questions that got her thinking about her writing at the beginning

of each conference.

Using Evaluation to Inform Instruction

The next step of instruction I would suggest would be revising her personal narrative.

When revising her personal narrative, I would have her work on a stronger ending and adding in

more detail. I would first have her go through her piece and highlight where she already has

descriptive details. Next I would have her look at areas where there are not a lot of details and try
to add more in. If she seems to be struggling with this task I will give her some guided practice

to work on or even have her do a free write while focusing on description and detail. I think her

ending can use some help as it fits neither of the guidelines it was supposed to. It was supposed

to end with either how she felt about the day, or a lesson learned. When fixing her ending, I

would first have her look back at the mentor texts used in class. When looking at these, I will

have her think about what she likes and what she does not like from the examples. Finally, she

will use what she liked to write a new ending for her personal narrative. Since my focal student

remembers a lot from the day her uncle got a pig, I think with specific instruction and some

guidance she can really strengthen her personal narrative by adding in more descriptive details

and a stronger ending.

 Part II: Conference Reflective Report

Context

My focal student this semester was an outgoing fifth grader. The conference I chose to

write about was for her personal narrative piece. The students were supposed to pick a small

moment from their writers’ notebook and write about it while starting their stories with one of

three leads: action, setting, or dialogue. Students were most encouraged to try dialogue. They

were also supposed to add dialogue throughout the whole story to help the reader get a sense of

what was said that day. To end the story, they were supposed to choose one of two ways: how

they felt about the day, or a lesson learned. My focal student started off writing about her first

time going to Tennessee, but switched to when her uncle got a pig as she could not keep the first

story a “seed” story. This means she wanted to tell the whole story and not just one part of their

time there which did not follow the guidelines.

For this specific conference, I decided to choose the last conference I had with her before

she did her conclusion. This conference was the most rewarding and positive we had together. At

this conference she had her whole story written except for the conclusion and some details we

added in. The goal of this conference was to make sure she introduced her brother at the

beginning of the story and she did not just add him in at the end. When we had ended the

pervious conference she only had a couple paragraphs typed and the next time I was there and

conferred with her she had over a page and a half done. In previous conferences, we had worked

on leads, dialogue (punctuation, and how it is different than telling a story), and adding in details.

Conference

Before this conference even began, my host teacher had talked to me about the progress

she had made since the last time we had met and how happy she was with the outcome so far.
She did suggest we work on introducing her brother in the beginning of the story and not just

bringing him in at the end. After hearing this awesome news, I was so excited for our conference.

The conference began when we sat at the bench and table outside of the classroom. We

were sitting side by side and I said: “I heard you have made a lot of progress and your story is

almost done; will you please share with me what you have added?” She was so excited to share

her story with me. At one point she said “You are going to like this part, but do not look at it

yet!” As she said that, she covered it with her hand. After she read her story aloud to me, I told

her what she had done a good job with. After discussing the story as a whole, we then focused on

what her teacher wanted us to do for the day. When I asked her at what point in the story she

thought she should introduce her brother at, she responded “I already know where I want to add

it.” She had already started typing the introduction of her brother earlier, so she finished typing

that after she talked to me about what she was going to say. Once she was done typing, it was the

end of writing time.

Reflection

It was not until after this conference that I felt my hard work had paid off. It was so

rewarding to see her accomplishment. At the beginning of the placement, a lot of the days I left

frustrated because I did not feel like I was much help, I had confused her more, or I had wasted

her time, but I did not feel that way this day. Even though this was a shorter conference than

normal, I think it was the most positive for both of us. You could see the joy in her eyes that she

had finally done it and had a story to share with me. The enthusiasm she had to share her

personal narrative with me was like no other. I had never seen this side of her, but it was one I

hoped to see again. My favorite part was when she said “You are really going to like this next

part” as she was covering it up. During this conference when she was reading her story aloud I
think she had finally felt a sense of self as a writer. After struggling with a topic to write about, it

had set her back. She felt like she could not do it. After multiple conferences, she did and she

found out she could! The biggest take away from this conference is to never give up. It may take

a few conferences and trying new things, but it is all worth it at the end.

Evaluation/ Extension

Throughout my conferences, I tried to start out with an open-ended question to get my

student thinking about her writing as well as things we worked on during the previous

conference. I think I did a really good job implementing that a conference is a conversation in

which teachers relate to students as fellow writers. I made sure my focal student did most of the

talking during the conference as well as gave her advice or things to make her a better writer. I

also feel as though I provided a predictable, comfortable, and inviting structure for student

conferences. My focal student knew we are going to start by talking about her writing as well as

things she has added since the last time we meet. She was shy the first couple times I worked

with her, but that was expected as I was a new face in the classroom. After the first couple days,

she opened right up to me. Although I did not implement all of the key practices, I wish I would

have thought to look over this list before conferring with my focal student. I think this would

have made more conferences have a positive outlook, would have guided me more, and benefited

both me and my focal student. These are definitely things I will look over before my conferences

in the future.
 Part III: Assessment Memo

To: Host Teacher

From: Rachel Pung

Re: Focal Student’s Writing Process

Introduction

Thank you so much for the opportunity to come into your classroom and work one on one

with students during writing time these past ten weeks. This experience has been incredible and

extremely helpful. I am so grateful for the opportunity you have given me by pairing me with the

focal student you did. I have gotten to know a lot about her as well as assist in the writing

process of a student who struggles with writing. When working with her, I have noted what she

struggles with, what her strengths are, and some of her improvements during my time spent

helping her with her personal narrative and the writing process. In this assignment, the students

were asked to think of a small moment and write about it while focusing on dialogue, leads, and

a conclusion. I am writing to you to discuss my findings on the focal student you had paired me

up with at the beginning of this semester.

Description of Findings

For my focal student’s writing, she decided to write about when her uncle got a pig. Her

lead consisted of dialogue between her, her uncle, and her dad. Right after her lead, she describes

what she remembers seeing and hearing. She remembers hearing a pig oink as well as the house

they made for the pig. It was painted red, white, and blue and said “Captain Pig.” She also

includes the pig’s name: Pig Pig. Throughout the story, she continued to include dialogue and

conversations with her dad, grandma, and grandpa. Her story ends when they put the pig away

and went to bed.

Interpretations

My focal student did a good job organizing her work in a sequence of events. She did not

jump around in her story and it followed an orderly timeline. She started by providing the reader

with dialogue of a conversation she had with her uncle. After she realizes what her Uncle wanted

her for, to see the pig, she then provides the reader with descriptive details about what she saw.

Her story then goes on to talk about the rest of that day which included playing with the pig.

She also seems to have a clear understanding of what a personal narrative is. She had

provided the reader with logical sequence of events, she established a setting with characters, and

she stayed in the same point of view throughout the whole story. The only part of the story that I

would suggest that she fix is the ending as it does not follow your guidelines: how she felt about

the day or a lesson learned.

In regards to spelling and grammar, my focal student seemed to have a good

understanding of this. I think a lot of her mistakes were due to typing on the computer instead of

writing it on paper. It looks like some of them she may have just hit the wrong key on the

keyboard or added in too many spaces. For example, her commas are also apostrophes. Along

with this, I noticed names were not capitalized but when I was talking to her during our

conferences she knew they were supposed to be. This could also be due to typing on the

computer. As for spelling, there were only a couple words I noticed spelt wrong, but those too

could have been in result to typing on the computer. For example, because was spelt “becasue.”

I believe the conferences I had with my focal student had a positive impact on her

writing. During our conferences we worked on dialogue, leads, and focusing on one small

moment. At the beginning of her personal narrative, she wanted to put quotation marks around

the whole story as it was something she was saying. After spending a day or two discussing the
difference between actually telling the story and things that were said that day, she finally

seemed to understand the difference, which is evident in her final draft.

Next Steps for Learning

If my focal student had time and was able to revise her piece, I would have her work on

adding in more detail and writing a conclusion that pertained to the rubric. I believe if she had

more time, she could come up with a really good ending to make the piece all come together. She

remembers so much about the day and I know she could write about how she felt or a lesson

learned with the skills she already knows. The other thing I would have her fix are the typos in

her piece. These are not super important, but it would make the story easier to read.

In her future writing, I would have her add more detail to her story as she understands the

genre of a personal narrative and what to be included in the text. Since this was her first piece

this year, I think it was a good warm up and her next piece could have a lot more descriptive

elements. I would also have her refer back to the rubric more to make sure she includes

everything that is asked of her. This may have even helped her with her first piece. Overall, from

what I have noticed when working with her the past few months, she has developed a better

understanding of language and writing.

References (Attached)

 Sample of Student’s Work: When my Uncle got his Pig

 M-Step ELA Narrative Performance Task Full-Write Essay Grade 3-8

 When my Uncle got his Pig
“ ------- ,” come here. I have to show you something,” said my Uncle
Andrew.
“Hold on. I will be out there in a minute,” I said. When I looked out my
door, I saw my dad coming towards me with a bandana.
“ ------- ” close your eyes,” my dad said. So I did.
We walked down the stairs into the garage. And then I heard an
“Oink”.
“Did I just hear a pig?” I said. It scared me becasue I didn’t know if it
was real or not.
“Maybe,” my dad responded.
And then he took off my blindfold and I saw a big pig laying in a dog
house painted red, white and blue. It also said Ceaptain Pig. My uncle
decided to name it Pig Pig. He was white and black and was eating a
carrot.
When I walked up to him he knocked me down on a pillow that was
really soft and filled with feathers. And he thought he hurt me and started
oinking like a baby pig. I sat up and he was laying on my lap and then I
started to cry because he was crying.
”Dad bring Aden in here. Come look at Pig Pig .He’s rolling around
like a dog,” I said.
“I,m coming,”dad said. So then we went outside to play.
“ --------,” come here,” Dad said.
“What,”I said.
“You have to feed the ducks and chickens,” dad said.
”Coming,” I said.
”I’ll be right back,” I said to Pig Pig who was right in front of me.
“I be back in a minute Pig Pig.
So I went to the chickens pen and got some chickens feed and
threw it in the pen, so then I went back to see Pig Pig and he was asleep,
so I went inside to see what mom and dad we’re doing. I went in “and” no
one was there, so I went to my grandma and grandpa’s house and they
were there.
“Where did mom and dad go?” I asked.
“They are at the store ,”Grandma said.
“So,” where’s Aden at?” I said.
“In your aunt,s room,” Grandpa said.
 ”Oh,”ok,” I said. Then I heard an oink.
“Oh,” no,” Pig Pig is out side alone. He most be looking for me,”I said.
Let him in the house,”Grandpa said.
”No,” Grandma said.
“Pleasse Grandma,”I said.
”Fine,” Grandma said.
When Pig Pig came in,” he ran into my aunt’s room and jumped on
the bed and licked Aden’s face like a dog.
Pig Pig loves my brother Aden,” He’s in a wheelchair so Pig Pig
knows he’s hurt,” so Pig Pig is gentle with [Link] it was time for bed so
me and aden went home and mom put aden in bed and we went to bed.