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Introduction
1. Hushing the Mind
2. Holding the Intention
3. Making Choices
4. Honoring the Process
5. Befriending the Work
6. Evaluating the Work
7. Doing What's Required
DEEP WRITING:
7 PRINCIPLES THAT BRING IDEAS TO LIFE
Eric Maisel
Contents
Principle Page
Inirodvetion
1. using the Mind
2. Holding the Intention
5. Making Chotoes
|. Honoring the Process
5. Befriending the Work
6. Evaluating tae Work
7, Doing What's Required
Published by: Jeremy P. Tarcher/Putnam, Penguin Putnam Tac, 375 Hudson Stet, New York, NY 10014.
‘Copyright 1999 by Eric Maisel
[BOOK JACKET INFORMATION
‘WRITING / CREATIVITY
“Deep Writing i more than just another writing book” It provides writers with the kind of ife-aving help that
‘only Eric Maise knows bow to offer”
“STEVE METTEE, PUBLISHER,
‘THE PORTABLE WRITERS: CONFERENCE
From besslling sutuor to closet novelist, there isn'ta writer alive who hasn't experienced the terrifying
paralysis of writer's block or the challenses of maintaining momentum and focus. As a therapist specializing in
‘counseling artists, Erie Maisel knows how severely psychology, rather then lack of talent, can limit personal
‘creativity, We can all write servieeably bu iruly good writing ~ deep ving —comes from accessing that place
‘of powerful emotions where we are most vulnerable to feelings of fear and anxiety. With wise insight into the
‘contemporary publishing market. Desp Writing reveal the seven principles that break throug mental.
roadblocks and slay psychological demons, feeing you to write with passion, parpos, and meaning,
‘Author of 4 Life in the Arts, Fearless Creating and frmations for Artists, ERIC MAISEL, PH.D., works
‘Sxclnsively with arias ia his private peyehotherapy practice and in group writing workshops, A regular
‘contributor to Writer's Digest, lives near San Francisco.
“Eric Maisel has made a career out of helping artists and writers cope with the traumas and troubles that are the
price of admission oa eeative life”
S'INTUITION MAGAZINE
‘wore [Link]
By the Same Asthor
Fiction The Black Nare
‘The Kingston Papers Dismay The Blackbirds of Mulhouse The Fretful Dancer
[Nonfiction Staying Sane in the Arts Ast: Speak A Life inthe Arts Fearless Creating Affirmations for Arists
Fearees Presenting
‘Acknowledaments
[ltt | would lice to thank ll he folks at TarcherPutaam, a few of whom I know and most of whom I doa’, whe have
‘contribted othe making of ths book, My thanks especialy to Jeremy Tarcher, fr is continuing support and good conversation in
‘port restaurants, and to Wendy Huber this book's edie, wio has had the painful tak of eling me more times than either of us
‘can count that ths or tha ill needed Hing
"Nest, I would like to thank the writers Ihave seen in my creativity consulting and psychotherapy practices, and those have
‘iste with t workshops and writes conference, fr thei contributions to my understanding ofthe challenges and joys of writing
would also like to thank the many people who have written tome, oRen at length, about their experiences in the ars nnd their
‘thoughts and feelings about the creative life, One of those letters hasan important place in this book; al of them are important to me,
Thank you al
‘Last, I would like to thank my family, whose love and sapport are valuable beyond reckoning.
For Ann, with love and gratitude
DEEP WRITING: Introduction
‘P've been counseling waters forthe pat fifteen years, rst asa psychotherapist and now as a creativity consultant. For the past
ten years ve also tanght writing tthe college level, to adults returning fo school after a significant absence. And P've been writing
for nearly thity years—novels and selhelp nonfiction articles and shor stris, fr big publishing houses and minature houses, for
‘professional houses and commercial houses, as a shostwriter and under my own name. From these tree adventures—as writer,
‘writing teacher, and writers” counselor—I've learned alt
{put many of my thoughts about creativity and the creative life in my previous books, like Fearless Creating, Life in the arts,
and girmations for Aras. But although much of what Thad to sayin those books was of use to wits, T never se Out to write a
‘ook exclusively for them, my creative brethren, Now seems lke exactly the right moment. As [eros fly, with more than twenty
‘books under my bel, many of them published and many of them ampublishe, i i a gest plessue, bordering on trl to stop and
‘chat with my fellow aritess about ovr svecial callins, ‘What do I want to accomplish in this book? First, 4 like to help you write, if you happen to want to write, Second, I°6 like to
help you write deeply, if you're going to write atl. By "writing deeply” I mean: writing passionately and well about those things
that really matter to you. Think that Ihave a good idea how people ean get fiom not-writing to writing and from writing to writing
‘deeply, and this is what [wil share with you inthe following pages. The process of becoming a deep writer involves the following
seven principles:
‘using the Mind
Holding the Intention
Making Choices
“Honoring the Process
‘Beffiending the Work
Evaluating the Work
Doing What's Required
As I explain these seven principles to you, I'l offer some advice about how to ur them into practic, and provide some exercises
tohelp you get started. In addition, because every writers unique, I've invented case studies of five writers from differing
‘bakegrounds to help us explore how these principles apply to people with various needs an ie experiences, Let me introduce out
five fictional writers,
1. Amelia,
Now in her lte twenties, Amelia writes shor stories, poetry, and social commentary. She lives he feat the chaotic end of
the epost, ad her flationshipe tend toward the intense, the volatile, and the dramatic, She drinks eacugh tht she ie
‘iting to allt problem; she experiences occasional ut severe bouts of depression; and her day job ie virtually
‘unbearable, She ia stylish, ent writer but feels uncertain about wat to write net. She would bike to tackle something large
fad grand, but she n't put her finger on what that might be.
2. Marjorie.
Inher late fortes, Marjorie is marred and has college-age chilren, She was an English major i college se"s always
‘wanted to write but never fas She is thinking about writing a novel—a dream and a goal she has painfully kept alive for almost
thiny yeas. She is soft-spoken, selferitical, and eitical of others, although she does like tobe thought ofa judemental, She
dns the idea that she might ike to write ahistorical novel or maybe an adventure yar for young adults. But she doesn't fea)
close to choosing a topic or beginning o write.
[Link],
‘Sam docsnt think of himself axa writer. But for carer reasons he's embarked on a doctoral program in business that
requires him o produce a dissertation, Sam isin his mid-airde, works inthe computer industry, and thinks of hive
primarily as a problen-solver. re dovbts that his grammar and spelling ate all that good, but he has faith in his computers spell
‘checking and grammar checking programs. What really worvies him is geting an idea important enough to pursue and solid
{snough fo pats the muster of his dissertation commitee. Every day he falls further behind onthe preperation of hie dissertation
proposal, When asked how the proposal is going he replies, "t's not I'm aS tebe procrastinator”
4. Anne,
‘Anne has always writen. Farly in life, she thought she'd become an archacologist ora filmmaker, but without making any
conscious choice she discovered that sed writen her fist novel by the time she was twenty-ivo. It ever got published, and
‘either did her secoad, but her third id It sold modesty wall, and subsequently Anne managed to sll tree other novels. But
she has had to scramble to make ends mect, working day jobs and teaching creative writing a aJocal college. At thity-ight,
she setains few romantic ilusios about the writers lf, but she sill eels passionate about wating. be wonders if mow isthe
{ime to tempt formula novel or some kind of besteller ition that will eaapolt he ou of the midis.
5, Henry.
Aa urbane, bisexual playwright and screenwriter in his mld-iies, Henry is curently ina telationship with a man but
doesn’t consider himself gay. Sexual identity issues have always troubled snd tormented him, but he's never confronted them in
bis writing. Recently he wae mistakenly diagnosed as FIV pas and foe tse onthe lived wit tet diagnosis. He bes writen
‘sccessfl light comedies forthe stage and los of script revirites for Hollywood movies, dividing his time between New York
tnd Los Angeles. But his reluctance to write about what really matters has begun to iilate and anger hn. He wonders if ow
‘might be the time for him to write a play that examines bisexuality and, ici, whether he should write it as a ity drama or as
a Britshstyl comedy.
‘Obviously these five writers can't represent everyone, To represent us all have fo include an Afhcan-American poet om the
South, Latina playwriaht from Los Angeles, a New Age therapist tackling self-help nonfiction, an urban cowboy writing western,
‘an academe writen, an octogenarian who stl dreams of witing. and thowsands more. But even though {can possibly characterize
allwrters, [can say quickly what we have in common,
1. Bach of us is human being
2. Each of us recaptulates human nature in particular way.
3. Each of s isa product of heredity and envionment.
4, Each of us is troubled and challenged in multiple ways
§ Bach ofus has appetites, dreams, ambitions, doubts, anxieties, loves, prejudices, and depressions,
‘We are all in the same boat, We areal full of secret shames and desires, real loyalties and real disloyalties, keen
selfundersanding and spectacular sel-idiocy. We are all eapable of making every human mistake possible, and we all go ahead and
‘make oas and tons of them.
‘We also all aspire to become meaning-makers. The more we want “to give a shape to our ft,” as Albert Camus putt the more
‘the meanings we make or fil to make concera us. A mes person who tals her humanity and experiences end
attempts to put them together coberenty artfully. beautifully, but atthe very last somehow: for her own Sake and forthe sake of
‘others. That product may or may net change the world, or even reach the werld. But a mesning-maker can do nothing les than
finigale to make meting, because meaning-making ia moral imperative,
“Jonathan Kozol wots that he sated out hoping to change the World but had to seframe hie mission: now he considers hima 2
‘witness, His work and his moral imperative haven't changed, only his expectations. The writers a lifelong meaning-maker, upset,
bout something inthe world, angry at some injustice, working through personal confusion and uncertainty dismayed that others
Ihave filed to see this or that, obsessed about knowing, trying to connect, tying to speak, needing to crest,
‘Writers make meaning, if we ae inclined to do so, beeause ofa certain selFeationship into which we've entered. I don't now
‘why some people enter into this self-relationship and others dont, but part of i is probably constitutional. Some babies probably pop
‘ight out of the womb stubbomly disbelieving dogma and ercely fixated on truth, beauty, and goodness. This child a four, five, and
Six is already sel-drecting, already disgusted and angered bythe falseness and wishy-washiness of the normal. She may smile,
‘comply do the dishes, and tet off to schoo, but inside wheels are spinning and gears are grinding. “Now. whats rally tue about
‘the wold and what is just convention?” this child is wonderin “What's saad mei what's nt? Exnr cum fuse mrvacif camuse mvecif. and do some grand things?”
“These aren't direct quotes. A child doesnt use this language. But he is mesmerized by books, because of what they contain and
‘hat they can accomplish. He i entranced by muss, by dancs, by bugs crawling everywhere in evoktionay profsion, Dy tales that
‘examine the lumen predicament, by the mysterious look of the sky at ight In wordless ways a connection to te eck of personal
‘meaning-making srows ever songer in him, so that, atthe aze of twenty-thre, he decides to live in Aftea and study tigers, make
‘documentary films that puncture the authority of church and corporation, or write Taoist-infuenced poetry about silene
1 seem tobe saying that this exstetially inclined sel-relationshp isthe particular birthright of only some huanan beings. Yet
‘have the equally strong feling that pretty much everyone feels the same Wa, beneath all the unfortunate training ha urns stbbem.
‘mesning-makers ino selfestranged adults willing to aeeept the selfsimposed exile of an unereative life. think that you are that
subbom meaning-maker, ready to write real things with your ovn blood, even ifyou've only been wishing and wishing to do so,
‘decade after decade, without ever besinains.
‘Human beings are psychological creatures, This may seem solf-evident, yet the writer who doesnot writ, or wo writes but docs
not write deeply rarely turn to herself to ask, “Whats my nature, and what in my nature i the problem?” A writer much more
inlined to take a hundred workshops than to top and say, "My parents did a terff job of contolling me and maybe I've tamed
into control freak myself, Thats areal problem! IfI'm spending all my enery try to contol things, there's no chanee I can
site deeply”
‘Freud may have been wrong in sx hundred and three ways, but he was right about this: we are made up of intrapsychic conflicts
and lo of other roiling stuf, Our insides really are dytamic, so much so that we ean get twisted up early on and never untwvist, 6
:much so that we can obsess about the correct inner temperature for medium rare roast beef or whether Christ was Dora on
‘Weeuesday, Thursday. or Friday, and in the process never act our work done. We have besa speculating intensely fora hundred years
‘now about hovr each of us gets sted, and how we might untwist, Dut~as evidenced by the inability of most of us to make lasing,
important changes in ou fe—we have a long way yet to go.
would like you o bea good, productive human being and to discover lots of cloqet personal meaning. In oder todo these
things, you will need to scrutinize yourself. I'm afimid ' be asking you todo exactly this. Maybe I'll end up annoying and imitating
‘you with this parila lecture and tis particular request. Maybe I've iitated you already! But most writing books are far too
‘happy-go-lucky and undemanding nd make the most absurd promises. "Ifyou can order Chinese food, you can be Dostoevsky!" “IE
‘you can count tote, you ean get happily published” My message is diferent. You can write deeply, but you will have to sweat a
litle.
We are aso embedded in the cultural and historical realities ofthe country in which we are born and raised. While not everyone is
sucked into the vortex ofthe latest ria, seanal,tesnology. sitcom, blockbuster movie, shopping mall opening, or Elvis Presley.
sinning i the same way, everyone does exist ight here and right now, and there sno escape from that. In this momen, asa
‘consequence of perfectly comprehensible evolutionary reasons, each of us is more anxious and more prone to depression than ever
‘before in human history. Right now, more isin question, more is uncertain, and firm meanings are harder fo come by. These and
‘other contemporary curses are the fruit ofthis particular moment. So we will have to be mindful of this moment and mindful of the
‘multiple challenges that come with it, because tis moment really does affect wheter, and how deeply, we wnt.
fw are mindful ofthe momen, we also realize that this particular publishing marketplace —the marketplace of cain
‘bookstores and independent Bookstores, audio books and noubooks, bestellen iste and alche tiles —-however it operates and
“whatever ittepresents, isexacly the market in which wters must ply ther wares. Only through this marketplace, a it really and
truly exists, ean writers bring their chunks of consrusted meaning to the attention of readers. But even ifa writer examines the
‘marketplace and decides to ite something commercial she may stil ot gees right about what's wanted o¢ hat wil be ia vogue
‘ren her book is finished. She may decide to put her owa spn on genre and take the book right out of that genre. She may write a
good book but nt reach thesia marketplace players. She may even writ a good book, reach the marketplace, and sil only eam
‘rom her ovo or three-year adventure what a surgeon mas in an afternoon.
We have tobe aware ofthese painful realitis, and also that a particular piece of writing may not tum out well. tis entirely
possible to spend a year or two writing deeply, working every day with atetion and integrity, ané stil end up producing @ book that
‘misses the mark. Maybe i's wonderful in some pars but badly flawed in others. Maybe you tried to solve a ride that s presently
insoluble. Maybe you chose the wrong siructre, the wrong Voice the wrong angle, Any of this can happen. All ofthis does happen.
‘Many fled works—works moldering in drawers, works that never were and never will be published—are the fruits of deep
‘writing. For instance, I spent all of 1996 writing a book called Lighting the Way, for which [reveive the first half of an advance of
‘wentefive thousand dollars. I was a book in which ied fo say somte important things about the brain, human nature, andthe
‘contours of the present moment. In the course of writing it I began to articulate a philosophy of life [alld vtalism,a philosophy
‘angentially based on the ancient philosophy ofthe same name with roots dating back to Aristotle snd a checkered history in biology.
‘But the book did't work. Neither the editor-in-chief nor the publisher who had paid the frst hal of the advance could support i
‘or imagine publishing i {really da’ know tht the book didn’t work, although I have some doubts abouts all along BUT aNer
‘the publishing house rejected it and time passed, I reread it and saw thatthe Book was so flawed tha only a collector of cracked
‘objects could prize it Tt made no difference that 1'd worked on twenty books before in my life. Ht made no difference that Pd
‘carefully reread and revised each chapter. The book was wrong.
All the deep writer can do is honestly chew on someting. Al she can ask of hese is honest effort and right intention. Deep
‘erting arises from this effort to realy wrestle with something, to honorably and tnuhfilly make sense of smething. making use of
the known and acknowledging as best as one's defenses pent all hat is aot known Ia writer does that, sometimes miracles will
‘happen. One may end up with as Freud said of Dostoevsky"s The Brothers Karamazov, a“periectly motivated” novel, ora briliant,
‘eal truthful nonfiction book. Even ifthe work is pene work or work for hire, if the writer determines first of alto chew on
something, ona truth about human nature, on @ moral dilemma, on something worthy and grand, sometimes a great piece of deep
‘writing will emerge,
‘You might call decp writing engnzed writing. What is it that is engaged? Your whole being. You bing everthing that you ae,
‘your brain, your heat your experiences, your loves and hates, your trace memories and this morning's news, to a certain quiet state
‘ofseadiness, you empty your mind, activate your mind, and write as iPentranced, You are engaged, as lovers ae engaged, and as
‘existentalists use the word. The wind stops whistling. The clock stop icking. The universe stops forthe sake of your deep writing
‘Deep writing i work meant to mean and not just entertain. gamer applause, or demonstrate one's skis. Hiroshima, 1984, On the
Beach, Crime and Punishment, The Trak, The Mayor of Casterbridge, The Death of te Heart The Stranger, the novels of Sigrid
‘Unaoe, James Baldwin's Giovani! Room, Simenon's psychological thrillers are afew ofthe novels I read in my you that L
‘believe were intended fo be about something. Each writer ad a dream, a problem a solve, ati o tll, a moral imperative, a oly
‘quest all mixed up together
haven't yet called deep writing spiritual work. I'm rather loth todo so now: Fist ofall, have no idea what “spina” meaas, I
see deep writing a supremely human work, maybe the human work, and to calle spiritual adds nothing tis importance ftom my
point of view. But there isan important bt" do belive thst who ie are, why ee bere, and what the universe ial bout are
‘ter mysteries, mysteries that science can't unravel and theology fears. If-spsitma!" means something like living this mystery
—living in relation to this mystery and in awareness of his mystery—rather tha Hiving ordinarily, then I fel more comfortable
‘calling deep writing sisal work. ka ft, I'm happy to call it tha. Im happy to aaree with Goethe when he sad, “Existence i
God" In this sense, as workers inthe mystery, deep writers form part ofthe spiritual cre of society. They are human, but because
‘they focus on the mystery of humanity they are also our spiritual leaders.
I've been writing tis book afteroons. Momings T work on a book about creativity and psychology that's geared for therapists
‘and thse clients. Today [wrote abouts post, a woman | saw ia therapy a dozen years ago, whose mind housed every inne demon
imaginable, To recollect her isto remember how burdened each person is by his or her psychological nature, Becatse of his
‘profound fact, well focus first onthe subject of inner demens—of personality and psychological structure.
‘Our paychological “Issues” really do prevent us from holding ideas, starting on projects, maintaining momentem, and respecting Oe ee eee sr tvanbad sarill three tne epece am
freedom, As the poet I just mentioned expressed it, “When {am completely healthy, completely healed. will there be more art in me?
think thre willbe and maybe it wll be some ofthe bes. Tht sense of wholeness and well-being mst be a wonderful place to
‘make art fom. hope I get a chane: tobe there, even if only fora while.”
‘Let's begin, then, witha Took atthe mind ofthe write.
1. Hushing the Mind
Bel
"We ving our personality with us when we wrt (ofl to wit). This afc, and fr some of wa teagedy Life is shot and hard
oh that it would ences we were slowed the mise ose tothe compute ee of doubts an ine demons But ke
‘Senet Heck round or enke thse antes pls dow, these personality ar tht we never eed for and can hry
‘Srmprsend They pl sd pte dspan where ve wot willy sin, dow te osean oor et it eanot
pene
“i an cniousbepaniog to an optimist hope. But the cts spe for themselves. Wier have ahd tie of because
swe allhavea ar ane oft know more iateliget people than Ica cout who want 0 writ and have then 1 wite bt who
‘er J not wrt deeply o do ot wite all Why? Not because wring ihr es, tisha bt ts loa ny dein
[rihnkng bot of wich he ran sit I ss ne tat hues al these mtignt people. Why? Because hey are
Stymie by heir own peso
TC there were noting obe done abou is, woud be unkind to meson. But veh the experience hundreds of tines over
otheping people begin to ite or begin te mote deeply. The ete spl Lexa o mame your ind IFT an gt you"
‘manage you ming, vil ave ston yout do an enormous thing wl ave poten Jou to “chang” and “improve your
Consider the Badhesmctapor: “This min of aie went frmery abou tet Hike, ast ted, spent; tT
Shas old fil, ste ider wh wild the hook hold in th frious elephant So get rp. Gea gion your own ind
‘arena resis in evry pore of or bng, bt it resets ise fer eve inthe mind Only it presets iin whispers
‘There the mbt Youn ear ihese wher sae they are meant fae and inence you, et he ame tne fey ae cave
{ad wppey So you mus inten aemively fr what you can arly ear a ont ely at oe, the words of te iner
‘eet soling, nung, and mocking yoo Then, ving bead the ltl forthe fine you as silence then lene?
“Anu client came te me recently He was a Pi Be Kappa fom an ry Lengo college, hd bean te managing editor of
‘major nngazi an hn just signed sft Dok cont. He ended fhe would be able wrt his bok the pe ofa page
{two dy. Evry devin th underworld was Inghing. Wt could preven ism rm wing few nied vords a aca
Teplehe'd en inking abou and using for went years? What es culd be except i on kor, his own Poona”
‘Weare not ma, mos of, it our minds neverelese resemble sti nuns. tel bela inthe. Tis is what
ogative turpis have ban aing sfrsveal decades and alts for cnt. No, wn you are waehing tevin oF
[ning the ores all el ino breaking lose in your mind Then aFasive quit ess, "The asylum qt, vege, denny
{Sleep Bu ar oda ab you ay “Shall Wit al ell eas love. ie emons ane, shrieking Thea 8 bela, Why? Bees
{that moment tne Yry moment when you woald is totale yourself seriously and come aja as you stand p fo en, he
Frou clans the Bde sented we waned to neni hemacves. Tusa ou mould ike stand ap and speak or oma
‘avon sya down et wp
Our demons shriek, “How dare you! Impossible! That you would even think of writing!” Or do they whisper? My sense is that
{nse demons he their ova poelin Sou or sounds vests in dea. We et he message witout he snd wave we
sev lip ming but no veal cons vet, This makes tall vey devil Besa we ae our own peseaalty wrapped in,
‘Sou, and though useless tk chastse Fant, inlouselves perfect patil. Whole comerst on pas out of
“rst end we ar lf with oUouder on the cher crushing ve, or pea a te hea, ing poses, How drama But hese
‘tethedeamas hat honesty goon. These rth raas ti chet and keep fo rei
Hsing the mind tne pein of ths chp; means fist of al silencing the demons tat estoy our resolve an drown ot oar
cod sen Silencing ths how Tae aaa sys go ack childhood and start tare Cie down, Dos ook ae ein The
Soporte teapt sym allt ae tla your outs, we en won a ot ogc The como terap cys a
{sito on ewe couvrsaton and see nha’ being sia Whenwver you eur something you don ike, sy somthing differen.
‘Tacuamive mp saye youre bor ving a adap sory of our ie, acon, ad Wel sake pa iets og, a
‘rte ton.
‘izaely enough the solutions snle than thes thrapeticansers. All you have to do is say “sh ad mean it. You dat
sen ave say te word since hn ors meron an elepatie Al you have od so atexn “as ane become vos
Slonce Too sine? Not bad Just ny becoming a ving sence!
“A eter tothe erat Water's Digest once charisedine forte advice 14 ven in tht magaziae on husing Te ltr ed,
“ve ben sujet to aout of sehobstbe an payho mumtelumbo, tt aever—never—anything apron the
ening steam of inns in ‘Neti the Win Crea’ by Exe Mais. Wh al de espe at Mae oi bel
unertnd tis wir’ anger and isi. Bat what wrote was, and cotinoes oe, me. ailT cm dois explain myself
‘rte, Tor beam inde cur wa minds and we mst quit The et wy foil also te spe tous 5-0
torah Tis exactly whi the good paren oe fore app stil when she whispers, “Hs eBay, don YO er
In my erst consti practice, which shri of hear and supoctive coaching vrualy never atthe fasted
swntrwtng owt, Lets cxpore what happens you wien yon were ie or ic" Wint se andy, “S* Tole
{sy "Stop "The gol tht we lng ots tthe bud fe sittin an lve person, rating o speak silenced by
ive demons resin in is om . Shovléa tthe sky weep and case a mich eu?
Tenis to jst sy, Hoe,” and fen do jus sy “Hos” Hn, Write a itl” A lent wl fame th Book hat hasbeen
tating hn forthe pas mnt, yar, esti inthe et tennis, nan ll ay Workshops do something vey sa say
Sow ngs, ut wt {an communicaing is"Hushe My goal so qt the eres a mins of te prj wet the ane
te nomalzd, entre, dsipatdf snc the demons by ang then and then sing. The rests are emarkale, People
Ste They wand wie. They wrath hve ated o wie All provide patho Hat lence
Tan that haven't the pene to hear awe’ reasons for not writing or not wating deeply I's jus! hat we do etn he
reset bushing here, Ding hve. If ar ot wing bere and ow ta mca tht ere nd ow eons ae sacing yu. To
{Sk hw they bappencd to abt yur body tity years ago sie asing How you conracted a tronic dense. That might be
Important o knoe fe dnt nae te eared ute haste eae! We cn limit the detmons ri no™.
ust by basing
“is i not ster Knowledge oan esoteric practi. 1 was onc invited otal to soe highschool sae na creative wing
class, and I presented a pair of ideas: hushing and “holding” (the subject of chapter 2). A student in the class had a question, “I know
{ia pice of uit vnc” esi. just don't ew hw fo go tere olen enough How ean go here mae cen?"
“hat ithe dep wrt ceil question. tite nota entre qe ike “Wha soul” or Who made theives” is
_just a human question, a human-sized question, a question about biology and psychology and aliveness and other natural matters,
‘The answer to “How ean I hush my mind so that I can write deeply?” is “By wanting to, by meaning to, and by practicing silence.” ‘Husing the mind i
‘lowing:
1. Engaging the ming, as gears must be engaged before a car trip can begin
2. Onieating the mind toward thovelt
3, Repaving the brain's highways to remove rus that force our thinking down habitual paths
4. Geting a grip
‘5, Loosening out grip, as one must loosen one's grip to deliver baby
‘Hushing the mind means engaging and orienting the mind as well as quicting i. What one is hashing isthe nose of «busy brain
doing second-class work I's like telling panicked passengers ona sinking ship, “Shut up! We have to think For the brain will do
Secondeclass work unles it is ordered or invited todo fiseclass work. Why? Wy won" it do first-class work automatically? For the
same reason that you and take the elevator and not the sar. For the ease of it.
“This ie not to disparage the mind, The mind is quite spectacular. Even in there advanced tines our metaphors fr mind remsin
puny: to call the mind a computer or central processing unt isto insult the mind and slorify the machine. The mind is spectacular. 1
is built otto process information but to envision the shape and survival of the universe, But itis also but o take the elevator! This.
is a nasty paradox that absurdist playwrights spend whole pages on in their journal, How can it be? How can a fine mind happily do
‘next te noting? How can it be al once so serious and so silly an organ?
just is Tis spectacular bu also lazy.
‘Thinking, t turns ou, i simply not so poplar. As one newspaper headline pt it, ‘No signs of intelligent life on the New York
‘Times bestscller list." It snot just our neighbors who are disinclined to think ts you and me. Few people make time in the day to
think. Few people make a cup of ta, sit down, and say “Allright, now I'm going to frame, mull over, research, and solve a great
riddle” But '¢ wager tha the few who do they ar writes, vite deeply.
Sone might call his general avoidance of thinkina —displayed by most people most ofthe time—e lack of euros. Ii
‘common enough to say that creative people are curious while ordinary people are not. But deep writing has itl o do with curiosity.
‘Acct is carious. A bear is curious. A taby is curious. But an adult human being, sith hundreds of billions of neuroas ready to make
‘orld, is nether curious no ineurious. Such Wards are to mud! A ite seither alive i a Hv-class way oralive ma
secondsclass way. Se either pursues scientific puzzles whose lack of solution makes grown scientists weep o she doesa’t, She
‘ier writes her epic retelling of a smalF-town trey, or she doesnt. She i either in right relationship with her own min, or she
iat
‘The intelligent, sensitive person who las tin his heart to write deply must learn that right silence and right mind are not givens
wold be nice if they were It would be nie you grew up in an environment that 20 seamlessly supported your ght to think at
‘you became an everyay deep thinker without any effort. {you've had such luck, get down on your knces in thanks! But ify
hhaven', you've got work todo. Who ele wil do i for yeu? Who will even encourage you" You must encourage yourself and do the
simple, ard work of hushing.
‘We show our respect fr our own mind by quieting it, by engaging ft by orienting it. We provide it wth favorable conditions, We
say, “Lam thinking" Ifyou do aot say to yourself, “mean to think," your mind will o abou ts sscand-lass busines, progcing
‘orris, opinions, and other equivalents of aothing. The mind will keep itself busy, one way or the other, because, ike te heart or
‘the lungs it is bull never to slp. Ils mandate isto never go off-line, even while is hosts snoring. fhe brain stop, itis tie for
‘Code Blue. So it does something al the time, this silly splendid brat. making pointless dreams or interesting dreams, punning,
‘calculating its bank balance, or quieting itself in preparation for master work.
|A first step on the rand to right silence sa repaving ofthe brain’ neuronal highways. Hushing is ike smoothing or resurfacing a
‘oad so that thoughts ean ative at their destination. Too often our thoughts get locked ino habitual pattems that we repeat endlessly.
‘We ran inthe same arooves, mia off the road a the same spot, and end up inthe same ditch, Smash! You try to thine about your
‘book, the thought travels long, grooved and locked, and, spit, its directed back into that same damned itch!
‘We repeat ourselves, The mind perseverates. The road is rut ané grooved, and beside the oad are familiar itches. The
‘changes we want fo make have todo with resurfacing that road, What I eally mean, of couse, is something about brain biology: that
‘se want fo help new neuronal gests form out ofthe neuronal cloud. That par ofthe brain that free to make suggestions says to
‘tha prt ofthe brain mized in habit, Disconnect synapoes, we are joining together in new ways!
‘By the same token, managing the mind is both a loosening and a tightening of one's grip. But you don't needa set of complicated
instretions to know when to loosen and when fo tighten or how todo both at once. The principe is simple. Orient toward thovgtt,
‘engage your bran, Jt old habits of thought slip away, silence any demons that have the femerity to howl say “Hush” and mean it.
‘You wil then experience oth qualities simultaneously, the tightening andthe loosening, as if bowstring Were pulled tat and an
arrow lt fy all inthe same instant. What i hat famous “Aka"—the sound of an iden aving— excep the sound ofan arrow let
loose and flying? “Ahat” isthe exhalation we make when we have gotten grip and loosened that grip simultaneously. We did not
Ihave to goo archery senool to lear a method. Allthat is required i it silence, riaht ming, right attention.
‘Let menot forest to mention the oy involved. This huching is a really exuberaat thing. It's like throwing your window open and
‘erying. “Enough ofthis sale ar” Hushing the mind has something ofthe glorious joyful exuberance of spring about it as oe Its
‘e's wiater thoughts escape on a gentle breeze. Al winter one eeted and obsessed about the col. All winter one had to listen to
‘the demons trapped inside. Al winter one's thoughts went down those same old grooves. But now the first buds are out! The sua is
‘rarming the weed, The silence that descends is a pregnant silence Silled with ths sounds of swollen streams and the songs of birds.
‘This hashing the min, when all said and done, ts a oyful ac, full of expectation and love.
Our Five Writers Grow Quiet
‘Let's visit with ou Fititous writers:
“Amelia, Marjorie, Sam, Anne, and Henry
Each has chosen fo read this book, although each is rightly) skeptical about finding answers in a book. They've just read my
‘remarks on hushing and have different reactions, Amelia likes the idea bu doubis that she is equa tothe task, given her ebacic
insides. Marjorie is frightened of what right silence might bring, Sam laoghs atthe idea of hushing and wonders why this book
‘rast shelved inthe New Age section ofthe bookstore, where he would have happily
agrees with its value, but wonders bow what I'm seyng is difereat from what she's ab
reaction to what I'm describing, but, like Anne, he also understands the idea and acepts that a certain kind of inet silence i
prerequisite for iting. Like Anne, he just doesn't see how tis hush busines is any diffrent fom what he wally does, But
‘Sespite heir doubts, each trie the following brief exercise
Hushing Exercise
Fin a quiet place if there is no quiet place in your environment, that’s the first thing to change.
‘Hear what there is ta hear. Even in a quiet place, there will he sounds. You might hear the elecric heater, the clock, traffic outside, et ati tunes crawate cnvmn the lurchee muse tot hatmontrtirbeaminnwmiee OU
incompatible, All these sounds, even the jarring ones, donot have to provoke any inner noise,
[Let these sounds vanish as you tam iawaed. Ile, hold the breath, besin to exale, and softy sy, “Hush,” Extend the Word until
it becomes along “so-o-s," a full exhalation, arelease. Let the sound tail away and your mind empry completely. Feel the good,
deep darkness of inner silence.
“Thoughts will come, but hush them away. Hush your thoughts until you are empty and breathing. Don't despair ifyou can't do
‘his est. Dont think about how iis not working, Tost hush ands again.
‘Make the exhalation very long. “Hush-shall-shllshal-shall-shallshall-shal-shal:
‘When you've done this fora while, murmur to yourself “Deeper.” Breathe deeply ané fly. Ina comer of your mind, perhaps in
the top right portion ofthat silence, frame the invitation, “Iam ready to write deeply” Communicate telepathically, gently, with
‘wordless language
"Hold the complete silence that follows the invitation. thoughts arse that ar like demons o distractions, start over. though
0 down their old grooves, start over. Ifyou don’t fel engagement atte cellular level ad an orientation toward al of humanity,
Start ove. Let dha silence fil with an imminent furore of deep writing. If tll with anything ese, start over
‘When, after as many tries a it takes, you've achieved ight silence, go quietly, even with your eyes shut, to where you mesn to
‘write, and begin to write deeply
‘Each of our Writers tes this exercise and has a strong reaction,
Amelia finds that eying to bush her min pats ber into something ofa frenzy. Instead of getting the quiet she wants, she get in
loser contact with ner ine demons. She is teminded of her chldnood in ways that she hates, reminded ofthe things done fo er.
She is reminded of her adulthood in way’ she also hate, reminded of her own failures, mistakes, and disappointments. This “right
silence” ill wrong! Amelia's temps at hashing lend Yo bad-esling mania tht sends hee out the doo in search of an adventare,
“Tonight she will sleep with someone ina violet, intense, altogether dramatic way
‘Marjorie, although putatively in love with sence, actualy doesnt Hike that much, aot when i’ a silence meant to provoke er
‘mind to work. She loves the silence of gardening and the silence of reading, te silence of baking and the silence of music. She even
likes meditating, but she prefers physical practices like yora and ia chi. Exercises meant to lead her to thought lead her to depression
instend. She tris this exercise, but infeed of ishing ber mind she finds herself in bs, in rel psychological pain,
‘Sam doesnt ge it. The phrase “hushing the mind” makes him laugh. He considers himself an extrovert, aproblem-solver, 2
‘elit He's never owned a erystal or a Tarot deck or even many books. Not only doesn’ he think of himself as creative, he might
‘even be insulted if you called him that. You just might be implying that he wasa"t manly or ia hs right ming, “Hushing the mind,” he
oppose, i for women and poets. He is the very apposite of he the Obscure, who longed fora great university bit could aot get
‘there. Sam has goten fo a good university but without any longing, There may be a spark in him somewiere, but no fire s ignited
by the thought of “hushing the mind." So he drops the notion into the wastebasket, returning o his everyday business of not writing
his dissertation.
"Anne knows this process ofhushing the mind. She does tal he time. She has qucted her mind in the service of her writing for
‘hours on end. She knows what it feels like to invite in ideas and images: fo coanect observations, opinions, though, and feelings out
‘of conscious awareness into characteriations and pot to hold a silence as vas asthe universe forthe sake ofthe birth and growth of
‘he writing. And yet, while his is true, she wonders if she's really been al that silent resenly. Hast degp silence been eluding be,
that ih silence out of whic the idea might arise fora book that wil help her carer! She as the unsetlingfeling that ber silences
hhave gotten noiscr overtime, but as she tres to think about how she might change this, she discovers that she can't gt quiet enough
tocoacentrate onthe question.
Henry, too, kaows this silence, but he's found his own ways of Keeping it at am’s length, He understands that right silence is a
necesiy, but he alo knows that a quiet mind isa dangerous mind. Unwanted thoughts might filter up, He's like a fire walker who
[knows fo move aeros the cols dam quickly. Henry eretes jut enough silence fo write on the run, Sometimes be shes his mind
by accident, when he's having a cup of coffee or when at dusk, he notice the silhouette of tees against a blue-black sky. In those
‘moments, ideas announes themselves, Buthe huis past those moments He goes directly to the whiskey bottle and retrieves his
‘busy mind, getting i back from the dangers quiet place where it wandered for a moment.
{In short, each of our five writers does not find this bushing all that easy to accomplish. Even the practiced writers, Anne and
‘Henry, are themselves aot so very practiced at hushing. Henry has reasons to avoid leaming this skill, for he is ying to hig things
fom himself, and Anne, who is more honest, i sill human enough, anxious enough, distracted enough, and in enough pain to find
at slenaeelsve
Each, even Sam, after he spens another week not working om his dissertation, realizes tha there is work to be done in this area.
‘Each tegins to se that meeting and silencing ier demons may be an appropriate metaphor fr that work. So each determines to
tackle the central exercise ofthis chapter, called the Bedlam Walk.
‘he Bedlam Walk
‘We can‘ fll participate inthe mystery of life if, as soon as we approach the depths were ideas reside. our own anxiety
negativity, and se-oubt make breathing dificult. 1 the depths unnerve us, we'll earch for answers in safe places, where the ai is
plentiful and the sun seares demons aay.
‘Bat the answers we sek can't be found in those sun-drenched places. We rally must dive
‘We're unused to diving and afraid of diving Intense thinking like intense living, umerves us. Therefor, we ereate categories
_— geniuses” and ourselves, "real writes” and ourselves, “ass” and aurselves—and let out brain of the hook. Every Would-be
‘writers areal writer with 2 head fll of inner demons that prevent him or her from diving.
“To say that these are not literal demons but “only” anxiety and negative selfalk is to misunderstand the drama ofthe situation,
‘These, our own fears and doubis, cause the wildest nner dramas and perpetrate onus the greatest iner crimes. They really do come
‘rom hella they really do possess hat one can't help but call liveness. They ave alive they ate demons and they tesde ia that
‘mos private sanctuary ofall one's own mind.
mentioned earier how therapists characterize these demons, The analyst say, these demons were bom i childhood. The
‘behaviorist says, dont tll me yous history, jus tell me what exorcism you meaa to perform, The existentialist says Your very
ffvedom depends on the decision you make—to fight for right relationship with your own mind oto keep on running, ll these
‘ews are right
‘These demons infiltrated your mind along time ago. They must be exorcised now, and you ar the one who must doit. But how
‘can you fook into your own mind if hat inquiry makes you break out in sea?” Here's the ansver you meet your inner demons
‘while also holding them at bay. You look them in the eye but without risk, and only when te time i tight do you decide which
‘demons to embrace and whieh to exorcise. Tine budding deep wiiter bepins by anecting his ier demons in ssf, guarded way.
Imagine a room in an insane asylum. It sa harshly it room with fiteen beds on each se and an ssle running down the mile.
‘Each ted is ocouped by a madmen or a madwvomaa, Some ofthe izmates are only children. Some are hags, some homeless men,
some witches. Somte look entitely presentable in their Business suits and sports clothes. One or two are chubby and Dickensian
smiling, kite-lying psychotics, Several lok seriously normal. These ae the wort!
At the far end of the room sa door, and beyond the door a courtyard. Beyond the courtyard isa bea stady. The study is its
‘own self-contained building, a one-room lodge wit all windows and sualight streaming in. Inside isa fireplace, «Persian rg, and.
Tos of seaming wood. Picture t however you ike, tut do pictre it This s your ideal study, «pace where adventures ofthe mind and comes to ahappy end,
Here you can write,
However. to gett that study you must walk: down the asl of that asylum. You must walkthrough bedlam, The demons are
shouting nd sereaming at you. No matte. Just walk down the aisle. They can't hana you. They cant pounce. They ean"t get off
ther beds. They are shrieking, impotent bastards! Yes, their words hurt. But their words ate also meaningless. Since you aren't
sopping to investigate their charges, you might just at wel consider them false. Why aot consider them fale rather 43 than true?
‘Why not laugh and ery ou, "I'm none of those things!”
“Hire is wit they'e saying, andere you are managing to walk right past them.
"No-taleat fool! Worthless pice of snot! Weakling! Grestst living writer—hat Spineless doormat? Total emotional mess!
Shithead! Absolute, utr fale! Complete iterate! Intellectual midge! Stopi, incompetent dodo! Dumbass! Know-nothing!
‘Fraud! Cockroach! Real writer's cadly! Empiy-headed idiot! Riicalows impostor! Monster!
‘Zero! Nada! Rien!
“ust walk down the ssl, It doesnt matter how you get fom one end to the othe, No way is more hetoie or more humiiting
‘than the next. It doesn't mater if you have to craw on your handeand knees or whistles tune to drown ott the screaming. AU hat
‘matters i hat you do not let these demons, who cant get off thet beds and attack you, who can only rant and rave stop you from
‘srting, Ye, they'll make some wild leaps at You" Yes, they'll enedle your blood with ther shrieking! Just practice your bushing and
seep 8 walking
‘Open the door and lave the asylum. Ist the courtyards silence amazing? This is sacred silence! Enter your study. Got the
desk, Boot up the computer. Ifa demon's voice intrudes, say to yourelt. "You're locked away, back in the asylum! Hush and affiea
‘that demons have no place in your study. Orient toward your work. Engage your mind, Thrive inthis right silence.
Practice this exercise until you can enter right silence st wil.
‘All ight. Once you've survived your bedlam walk several mes, we'll assume that you can get through Rell at will. Maybe you
‘nad to doit crawiig on your hands and knees. Maybe you sprinted. But however you inanaged it, congratulations! Now you know
‘how to get to your study no matter what roadblocks Your ier demons are erecting
‘But ere’ a secret: the lodge has second door. The more you become a deep writer, the less you have to ig for right silence
‘by marching down the aisle of an insane asylum. You just move ftom whatever its you're doing and undamatically enter your
‘dy by the second door Nothing ternal stands in the way. You just move from not-rting to writing
‘When I preset this exercise at wotkstops, people express how much they appreciate tat second door, Ves, they could survive
‘repeated marches tough the asylum: they could take thet route i they had to, But what an effort thet entails! The effort isso great
‘that most people block. Those who manage to write are forced fo do so with ther fingers in heir ears. The bedlam still affects their
svrork But ify practice hshing, you can eater your writing werk by tht second door: t shuts tight aad locks your inner demons
out
{ve know titers to sey I nsed all those desnons with mein the stad. They are my unconscious fl, my aenrtie material ay
‘ery Soul.” Doa"t you worry about that. As if any of us get fll fee of our demons! One bestselling romance writer plalarzes|
‘material fom another bestselling romance writer. The most famous writer of his time, Tolsto, as unsettled in is eis as he was
{nis forties, as aay from hots to di in a railway sttion, A wellknown novelist calls ne wp for an appointment bat fails 9
show up because, drunk as usual, she's fallen down a ight of steps and broken her hip. Should we worry that we might become too
sane? That's hard to imagine!
‘When you leave the study——and this is very important—you can exit by either door. You can ext by the second door and bring
‘ight silence back with you, oF you can eit by the first door, ravel bak though the asylum, and retum to selEcritcsm and annety.
‘The reasonable choice sto exit by the second door. You can retum to bedlam, or you can maintain a right silence as you do the
dishes, work your day job, or visit with your lover. This iat silence is available io you around the clock, but achieving it takes
‘addtional practice aud an additonal commitment.
An Active, Hushed Mind
Silence isthe theme ofthis chapter. You achieve silence by saying to yourself, “Hus, litle baby, let us wit.” You say, “Move
‘over, iiot personality, Ihave good work o do” You simply say, "So-sorsh.”
‘You can begin by hushing by orienting toward your work, or by engaging your mind, You can begin anywhere you like
Whatever you doin support of one ofthese objectives will support the ethers. When you orient toward thought, you silence demons.
‘When you engage your mind, you get aarp. When you hush, you loosen the hold of your worries. mage tying to dessribe in
‘word the contol and surender that go into a balleina’s series of pisovettes. Let “hush” stand forthe sound of @ mind so sill and
ready that in its pregnant space pirouettes of thought are born,
fyou've played computer solitaire, you know the moment when the game's won, when you've made all the right moves and the
‘cards are about to fly off their ines and onto thei stacks. ll you have to dois sit back and watch them ly. How simple and
Satisf}ing! And thinking is just ke that. sorts of preliminary werk must be done, but then everything comes together in a
‘tilling way, the eards ying exactly where they Delong, the idea arising as it by self,
For the solitaire player this san ecstatic moment, even though all tha is occurring isthe machine operating according ois
rogram, the game being played out according to some simple rules. Yet i's exhilarating to watch the cards Hy across the screen.
‘The same thrill comes tothe thinker who, having done her preliminary werk having read books, watched people in cafes, spun
fantasies, peered under microscopes, faken note, and gotten quiet—all oa sudden has nothing more to do Her brain takes over,
following its oon simple rules. Tae image ofa novel-o-be or a efinrent onthe theory of evolution spontancously is born.
“The pieces fll into place in an active, hushed mind. You take a deep breath, siling the universe. Then you tke a voluptuous
gulp ofthe mystery residing in hat silence. From that gulp you make a world,
2. Holding the Intention
BAe
atention i an action word. You're not really intending to do any deep writing ualess and until you begin to take action. The action
‘may “only” involve thinking of some other neuronal activity, but stil there must be physical action involved, a moving of electrical
‘current, a mixing of chemicals. you're really intending to waite, then inside your head some hammering and sawing must begin.
“The deep writer holds the intention to write, which means that she aes in support of her deep writing. She might say, °T don’t
‘ally do anything, just go about my business and ideas come tome,” and we are fooled by this way of talking into thinking that
the’ nt intending saything or doing anyraing. ut nate the dreary look on hee face, th way she posta inward and listen to et
‘own thoughts. Because shes motivated, she actively makes room in er mind for thoughts to est avi, she lets characters visit, se
‘ovients herself toward life's complexity and not away from it.
‘Motivation. ntetion. Action. “Holding the intention” i @ phrase meant to capture the connectedness of this writer's trinity. The
‘deep writer has reasons to write, intends to write, and aims himself inthe right direction. When you holé th intention to write you
‘are, if not deeply vriting, deeply previiting, You have are prepared to worship, YOO ‘tools out to build a mighty theme.
‘you're holding the intention to write that means that you're motivated. In order to sit down to write, you need reasons o write,
‘reasons that matter fo you. Otherwise why would you struggle witha blank computer sereen for hous or witha novel for years? But
‘ot all motivations are of the same sor. Ifa deadine’s nearing and you havea paper o finish, panie may motivate you. Your parts
‘nay have said something to you thirty years ago that motivates you even now: you may sil be trying fo prove them right or wrong.
‘Butte best motivation, the one the deep writer strives to loeste and rare, is he felt need to wrestle wth ideas and emotion, with
‘the worlds of abstract thought and intense personal feclings. This passionate resting is forthe writer's ova sake —as part of her
‘personal meaning-making~and for the world's sake, te provide it with meaning
“The deep writers motivate to provide the world with meaning and even to impose meaning onthe world, Are you motivated
{this way? Are you this grandiose? Say that you are! Stake your claim tothe tile of philosopher, teacher, ats, word leader.
Gripped by Ideas and Ready for Action
“The idea (or theme, meaning tread, image or visio) thatthe deep water wrestles with isnot a casual something in his lif, not
something of mere inferestor importance, buts matter central to his existence and parpose on earth. Gripped ty this something, he
‘res out, “Tmust explore this matter! Coming out ofa deep reverie, he exclaims, ‘Quick, where is my pen?” Agitated, on edge, but
‘also excited and heartened, he whispers, T must hnow whatever this through waiting!”
‘Usually it isa “whatever-thisvs.” It may have resonance and ateat depth bu til be murky and inexpressible. Only rately are
‘writers able to put thes ideas into words. Only rarely can they articalate tei themes in simple sentences, The idea is wderetandable
tothe self but no words come attached. The writer has everything she needs—a fcling in the belly, an image in he mind, some
stray phrases and he is ready to work. But as to what she is working on, she is uot prepared to say. Nor does she feel compelled to
“aiculate the idea that has suddenly arisen, Al she wants odo i fn tothe computer and write. The theme may remain untamed
fom beginning to end, uni is time to deserie the work to others,
“However, the fact that a deep writer con go about her busines, writing a book without ever naming her ides, can prove areal
problem. She ean lose her place, chase a shadow. or strike ef inthe wrong direction. She ean lose motivation. fose interest, of lose
‘her way. n my experience, beginning writers and seasoned writers alike often do aot take the time to arcuate the idea for their
‘curentbooi ina simple sentence or two, even afer the time when thore fr sentences could be atculsted. Thief same, becaase
“headline” sentences of ths sort can serve as areminder, an anchor, even an affirmation throughout the writing process,
‘You might say, To get the theme or idea of my book down ina simple sentence will Kl it Tt would lock it in place, stuliy it,
‘hamstring it. Besides, how could aay single sentence do:my ide justice? As i this ih thing could be said simply! Any sentence
‘rota have to bea distortion, simpliiestion, «travesty. Such a sentence would do me more hata than anod!” Miy respaniee i, 1
‘understand, Uhave had all ofthese felings myself, many times aver, and have them to this day. Nonetheless, articulating your
‘theme o idea in a sentence o two is a worthwhile suggestion, something to consider. To be able to do so may help you bold the
‘vention to write snd maintain motivation at you create
Forte sake of our work together, I'd like you to try naming your themes and ides, It will be great practice Ifyou can point ta
‘that they ean rin greet corporations and change them forthe better.” Atwsefel headline like these may do only limited justice to your
‘ork, but it does te important ob of reminding you of your theme and intention.
In my own lif, Pve spent years on novels and books of nonfiction pursing the sorts of themes that follow; some of which 1
‘could articulate as I began writing and some of which only came clear well afer the writing was under way. But once I could
‘ariculate te theme, however coup and inadequately | possessed a powerful reminder ofthe book's purpose snd intention,
1. [Link], and intllectualzing aside, what is the ereative process really like?”
2, “Lent the only sefe homeland forthe Jews one fr from the Middle East? Isn't Irel’s very location comupting and insane?
‘Then why not move Israel? But where would it go, who would do the moving, and what frees would rise upto block the
ove
3, “Thnow that many Christians envy Jews, but what exactly do they envy? Where does the envy come from? How does it
row so powerfil tat it leads to murder and mass murder?”
4, “How can atheism be rettamed a a spistual practice”™
5, “How would a quixotie, saintly modern Don Quixote live? What windmills would he joust with and what would his fife lok
ther"
6, “Why would a teacher have an afi wih one of his students and ruin himself? Is appetite everything? Is apptite the only
thing?”
‘That you have thems or idea is vital; hat you can articulate it is secondary. Tae stating point is more often halfscen thing, &
Aeeting mage, abit ofan dea. Its no sin and no problem if you commence your deep writing and proceed with your deep writing
‘without articulating wat exactyit is thet you are writing. Maybe you'll come up with that neat sentence tree months from now, or
‘maybe you still be struggling to describe the book as you str doing interviews in suppor of i But practicing this arculation
rocess is realy very important.
‘Some Helpful “TIPS”
‘To work on finding and articulating your themes and launching into your next deep writing project, try the following exercise,
“TIPS sands for
‘Themes
Inveation
Plan
‘Steps
[you take the time to look for them and have the courage to stare them inthe eye, you will discover, barely out of conscious
awareness but eager to gan your atenton, a host of resonant life themes. Whea you tink about any one of them, you immediately “They aso signal danger. What if you discover, as you wrestle withthe idea of “a good man tempted.” that he fellow you're
imagining, once you give him life ad et him iv, fils the test you've posed for him? Possibly you suspected that he would, but
‘now you've proven it coneusively through the process of imagining. How are you gong to ive wih this important but troubling
{information aout yourself and human nature?
What if you discover, ae you chew on the idea that “pire should be taught that they can um great corporations,” that what yoo
“wish for these girs, by way of encouragement and traning, you never got yourselP? What if your dream for them coanets 0 your
‘own deep disappoints? As valuable as the book you write on this thesie may be, how much pain will the process of writing it
‘ring you?
‘These are the possible outcomes associated with daring to know. Vou isk them, even if they frighten you, out ofa pledge to know
‘your ova truth and o hive courageously.
In the following exercise, you will:
1, Identify several hemes or meaning treads in your ie
2, Frame an intention in support of writing about one or more of these themes,
3, Make the intention real by creating a general plan of action
4, Move fom the generality ofa plan to the specifies of steps.
‘Making the Connection between Themes and Intention
‘Remember that this exercise isthe ultimate in simplicity. Only your owa doubts and fears wil cause dificulies. Work on this
‘exercise over the next Zew days
1, Get outa pen and a piese of pape: Or si infront of blank compute screen. Be sil, be thoughtful, and It the themes that
‘ater te you percolate up into consciousness. You may have to do alte work to quiet your inner demons. You may have to
oa litle work to achieve siht silence, If questions serve as good prompts, then ask yourself questions “What are my
themes?” “What matters tome?” “Who am {in this life?”
2, Listen. Capture whatever emerges— random words, bits of phrases, visual images edd feelings, unsettling questions
3. Pursue your themes. Go where they take you. Clarify them. Tnterrogate them. Fee them. Think about them, But “do
‘nothing with them, Don't rash to see which oF them i the best or most important. Just feel the resonances. Record your
thoughis.
4. Read over what you have written. Thea sleep on it Be with your themes. Give them a chance. Let them sort themselves out
‘5. Accept that your themes may disturb you. Why shouldn't they? Tn a way hey ae about ie and death. Embrace or exorcise
the demons that rise o deflect you. Stay present. Accept that your themes may realy be fightning,
6. When you're ready, let one theme pick you. Or consclously pick it. Neither way i inherently better, When your theme has
picked you ar you have picked it, say it outloud in a clear and simple a sentence as you can muster: “Twill ook at human
‘ature and determine whether everyone fails when tempted “Twill see if what I want to offer gils by way of encouragement
and advice
+7, Give yourself ite time, at east a minute, o soe if this theme remains pressing.
', Form a writing intention. “Iam about to begin my novel about a good man." am about to begin a nonfiction book tht
encourages young girls fo become great leaders.”
9, Areulate a plan tat goes withthe tention.“ plan to begin letting this novel emerge.” “t plan to spend the next year
‘writing this book for girs, once I make sure that Ieally ave something to say"
10, Name the steps ofthe plan and carry them out. Devise step that are clear and action-filled. Where you will go? For how
‘many hours? On which day of the week What kind of work will you do? Name a fll week's worth of asks and cary them
Let's imagine how our five waiters might make use ofthis exercise,
Amelia is embroiled ina drama with her lover and i a second drama with her employe. I the mist oF all his, she n't
‘managing to write much. One month she does a movie review, very smart and stylish, but doesnt send it out; the mext month she jts
‘down afew pages of notes for an asticle about lesbian polities. Although she fs maitaining a connection to her writing, she also
‘knows that she is not honoring her wospoken pledge to write deeply.
She comes upon this exercise and decides to ty i. Eventhough she can’t find the ianer peace to begin, the idea of “meaningful
‘personal themes” tarts pervolating. “What are my themes?” se wonders, Then several day ater, late ia tue afernoon at home in
‘he apartment, she gets Outer pad an formally asks herself the question; “What are the themes tht eoacem me” (Of couse, she
‘might ask the question diferent, She might say, "Who am I?” She might say, What really matters me?” ot "What does the
‘world need to now that it stupidly keeps forgetting?” There is no single way to begin identifying one’s themes)
Amelia finds herself writing down a series of words and phrases: “craziness, alienation, paa, the please of pain, the
significance of pain, miors, loving women, butch, femme, rage, ero.” She stops and has to keep herself rom stopping completely.
She isn't se that she can pursue any of theve words and phrases—they feel dangerous, But she heats herself saying," doa”t want
to stop just because I'm scared.” She takes a deep breath and reads over her list. Soon a pair of questions, which togeber fel lke an
‘mgt arises her mind eye. Ls possible tat J cant ive witaou pan? Would I fee bored and inert if dda’ experience
pain”
“These questions scare her but intrigue her. She begins dreaming about a nove thet explores sadism and mavochiom. Then her
‘thoughts shift and sie begins to dream about another sort of novel, a novel about a young woman's aempt to abstain fom drama,
‘This idea flows seamlesly into nother. about a gil ina meatal hospital who looks forward to her shock treatments. She begins fo
see the wird, the room, some ofthe other patients. She has the sense tat she's onto something. She begins to hear Sereams that she
‘can’t identf—she cant sey whether they are seams of pain or ecstasy, of who exactly is screaming.
‘She discovers that she feels awake, ale, and interested. “This is cool,” she says ot loud. “I could write about this” She is
‘beginning to hold a writing intention. Continuing the exercise, she makes a plan in one sentence. “T'l write about this novel for a
‘week and see what I get.” This is a good, simple plan and already further than most would-be writers get. Next Ametia spells out the ‘Steps tat comprise her plan. “Today I'll jot cown some notes. Pll Work for an hout, Tomorrow, right alter work, Tl sit my Dutt Cow
in font ofthe computer and let the book keep happening. Friday ll work on it at Starbucks. Saturday fll two hours at home. Two
{ull hous! Sunday, ead what ve got”
‘This isa fine, precise, five-step plan. Ifthe theme proves worthy, and if Amelia can manage her inner demons, lush her mind
lnonor the process and do the other things required of her, bythe end ofa week she may be fly embarked ona eich fst novel
‘Marjorie comes upon this exerese and has to smile wryly. She's attempted so many of these exercises before! But she finds the
fume ofthis one resonant, She ges Out good paper anda good pen and sits quietly. Aer afew minutes she finds herself growing
‘depressed and discouraged. The problem isn't that she's beret of ides; the Meas that arise in er mind ae plentiful and vivid. But
‘they fee red and stale to her, How many times as she ron these exact ideas past hersel? The exercive has evoked al her past
‘ting fires and human feilures, inmet dreams and unmet writing dreams, She can stand revising dees tha, ike the ane fora
‘certain dinosaur story and another fora historical romance st in Czarist Russa, go all he way back to her college days.
She puts away the pad and calls her mother atthe nursing home to see how she's doing and if she needs anything. Then she
‘begin her chore, ina worse mood than usual. Inthe back of her mind she calls herself aames: hopeless, stopid, a failure. Then she
recollecs something weitan hare: “A theme is more like a question than an answer” She realizes saddonly tet she's always prided
‘herself on having answers. When she fook tess ia school, sie needed her answers to be right, She judged tests a easy or hard, not
interesting or boring. Now, she wonders st i finally time fo stop “geting things right” and to explore her own meanings instead?
She finds this thought disconcerting but encouraging. After afew days she retums fo the exercise. Again she sits with her pad
‘open; now instead of old ideas, nothing arrives. If his i a vetory—if hat is, it signals a readiness to experience and encounter new
‘ideas isl ony feel ike blankeness and emptiness. What a “theme” or question,” sie Wonders, and When will one bubble Up
inher? 1 she bereft of themes, file at thees? Is she, if nt too stupid, then foo something else, too rigid, t00 repressed, 0.
angry?
She hates to admit it but she is angry. Very angry. More than angry—nageful. Consumed by rage. Ina deep reverie, she thinks
bout anger Her husband has started talking about divorce, 0 nasty and nonstop have her citicisms of him become. Isher siicalty
‘relly kind of misdirected anger? When she ses her hasband tacking in drt onthe eazpet, what sbout that makes hers angsy?
‘Ander mother! She is angry enough with her mother to want to strangle her.
‘Am image comes to er of a old woman bral murdered
‘She hears the murderer's confession: “She made me angry.” The murderer pauses, then continues, “Smashing my mother’s five,
‘never fll more alive. Or better” Another pause, and then, *I'm not crazy.” The detective replies, "No, Bu you're aa 0 well, ether”
‘Marjorie can see the killer, who looks just like herself, but she can only hear the detective’ voce, Is the dtestive young ot
‘middle-aged? Who is she?
‘She thnks that it would be very pleasant fo kil off nasty old Jody ina psychological mystery She'll havea great deal of
sympathy for the murderer! But who will the detective be?
‘An hon att, she realizes that she's been working with some energy and enthusiasm on a mystery. Continuing the exercise, she
frames her intention. “If can come up witha detective lke, think Ul ry my hand at this mystery.” She form a general plan:
“P've gota corpse anda killed better get a detective.” She anmes her steps “T'll spend afew hours at the mystery bookstore,
‘seeking on popular sleths, No doubt mine needs an unusual occupation, an intriguing setting, someting. So, I'll look ata few
fuocesefil myetories and see what girl detectives do fora living, That'll be tomorow. Meantime, I'll make alist of my owa passions
‘and areas of expertise, to see ifone of them works for. sleuth Sandy. Maybe 'l do that right now. think T should also write down
‘what Tinow about the book already. Then, I guess I should setup a writing schedule. And... oa’ think I'l eall Mother today!”
‘Sam, no closer toa dissertation idea today than yesterday, resists trying this exerese. He would sl rather wait for inspiration and
‘a dstertation ides fo strike him than to wrestle one into existence, Nor, ae he teas over the exercise before discarding i has he 8
‘luc wht hs themes o meaning threads are or even what's meant by “theme” or “meaning tread.” Besides, why woud fe ned 19
‘undersfand or uncover them just todo a busines oriented dissertation? This is business, afterall, ot ltrature or philosophy!
‘Nonetheless, with his deadline approaching, one ot summer day Sam surrenders, He submits to the process and stats to wonder
about life, about the big questions about his pat and hs thovahts and feelings.
‘This is strange and new, and he finds it suprisingly pleasant and unthreatening. He begins to thnk about his dad's alcoholism,
‘about the fights and sceaes around his paren” hlchen table, abou learang at the last minute, {rom his stepmom and aot is dad,
aout his das decision not to help him with college tition.
“Then a business-related ides pops ito hie head. Do workers work better if they're emotionally supported?
He recopnizes instantly that his question is really enormously complicated. f you come ftom a harsh environment, if yeu grow up
‘etieving that its a dog-eat-dog world out there, then maybe a harsh business environment would suit you best, What fel ike
‘emotional sipport to one person might fel lke intrusiveness to another, What about gender differences? And cultural dtfeences?
‘Mighta't arise and a nice henus compensate for a lot of emetional pain?
Suddenly Sam sees that he's been hoping to arrive at an answer—a good dissertation idea without asking any good questions.
“He has to laugh alte, fortis isthe identical pt his boss fll nto when he chose the company’s new compte sytem, His boss
‘vent forthe best system, one using te latest German software an an agaressively marketed server without ever asking the simplest
‘questions, like “Will this system really meet our needs?”
‘Sam sets down some ofthese basic questions with respect to his burgeoning idea "What area worker's needs” “Does it pay t0
‘honor those needs? "What's aa ‘emotional need’ anya “Might companies become mote profitable if they met worker”
‘siotonal neds right ofthe bat and nade them the highest priory, even higher than salary and benefit? Ifo, swt such a
program actully save companies money?” “Mightn’tt work to provide employees with more happiness and fewer bonuses?”
‘Sem recognizes that these are interesting questions, objectively interesting and also interesting to him. He forms an intention: to
better understand whit "te emotional support of employees" might mean. He states his general plan “Til spend the next few weeks
investigating tis idea, kexping good track of it and making sure tat itll feels as smart as it fels right now. And I won't choose @
Lnypothesis oo sean I'll keep an open mind about that. Maybe emotional suppor is «good thing, and maybe i int a good thing.
‘and maybe it all depends on how T define it. We'll ee”
‘Sam articulates the steps of his plan, He" commit four hours Monday evening to searching the Internet to see what he ean find
‘on the subject ofthe emotional support of employees. Tuesday he'll spend a few hours looking forthe same information inthe
‘business section of his local bookstore. Wednesday be'l see what's learaed and begin to wnte out tentative answers tothe
‘question, “How should ‘emotional support in business environment” be conceived?” He knows that hs final dissertation topic,
shaped by the desires of his committe, may end up having litle do with the emotional needs of employees, But atthe very leas
he'll ave wore on something personally meaningful for a week, and that work may also lead him to jst the right opi.
Anne, existential and ethical by nature, i very close to her own themes. Ideas come to her allthe time, and some have served her
‘well as the gains of sand around which pears of writing have coalesced. But at tis point in her writing career she wants more than
good idea, She knows the motivating power and intrinsic worth of @ good theme, but she's been there and de that. Now she
‘ans an idea to build bestselier around.
‘Bt that's much easier said than done. Because, asa decp writer, she ean't embark on a project that has no depth and worth
‘beyond its marketability, even a “bestseller iden” anus still mec her trict standards, She's faced this dilemma before an, string the
‘requirements of bestieller fleton straight in the eye, she's alway’ blinked, She's tumed away from formula and the demands ofthe
‘escapist popula reader foward her owa themes and meanings.
‘he's not sure how this exercise might serve her, but she Finds the idea of ie themes intresting enough to pursue. Several pop
‘up and she jots them down: the mysterious passage of information between women (se might write a book in which the women are
‘mute but tll communicate perfety), the tenuousness of flenéship and is all-toc-frequent demise (the book might be about B00d
fFiendehip tet ends in abad betrayal), the lack of vibiliy of the moder couple (here she might posit the ideal coupe, a wise,
‘well-maiched pair, and show how even their marriage can fracture and collapsc), and animal instincts colliding withthe postmodera eee hese IDI EI SIS
rey for women).
“This gic list surprises her. Sine actaly lies all her ides! All ofthemn interest her, Al feel worthy. But how many people would
‘buy books based on these themes? To judge by her pat sles figures, mays ten or fifteen thousand, And ten orfifeen thousand are
‘a fnded thousand to fe. Sil, she loves the ideas she's just generated. An intention rises: o pursue a theme of real richness and
‘meaning, maybe even one of those shes just come up with, write deeply, honorably and honestly, but aso to frame and fasion
‘her work ina way compelling to amass audience. Can she do this? That's the ctemal question!
‘She finds er fist step appaling ut necessary: o spend an afternoon in chain bookstre trstegicaly browsing bestselling
‘women’s fiction. she knows just which ines demons this ust wil activate—feelings of envy, a vision of herself as fale, a sense
that others ean effortlessly play a gime whose rules she either doesnt understand o refuses to undersiand, But rather than erase this
step fiom he Ist, she underlines i.
[No other steps come toner. But then a writing assignment pops into her head “I thnk should describe women as seen by other
‘women, Fictional characters describing other fictional characters. Naney describing oan, Joan describing Mary. Mary desribing
Ellen. Bt." She isn't perfectly sure what this assignment is about, but she's written enough fo trust hat something is brewing just out
‘of conscious awareness. She gan even aticulte litle whats on het mind “To wit beszlling iction, I'l probably aged
‘repertory company of women and not just the women I'm drawn to writing about. ll probably also have to write about them in
some unfamiliar way, through the eyes ofa romance novelist, a magical realist write, or some otber such person. So, this exercise"
“These two steps—to vist a bookstore and bxowse, and to sketch some unfamiliar women— flesh out er plan. They feel like alot
‘and enough, Acting on her plan, she packs up for an afternoon of booksore legwork and note-taking.
“Reny is in criss. He finds it startling. upsetting, and frightening that, well nto hs fillies, sex is more on his mind than ever. Nor
is it simply sen tis the das underbelly of sex that's consuming him: crvel sex ironic sex. numiliating sex. irrational sex. In the
‘midst ofa hectic, even insane bicoasal ie, with apartments and lovers East and Wes, With too much alcohol, too many drugs, and,
above al oo many obsessions tormenting him, he dreams of somehow recovering a measure of the integrity he fels he once had.
‘What ne hates most about himeelf isthe way he's taken to glamorizing cruelty im his screenplays and sage plays. Tis tendency he
finds downright despicable. He mows he's got to do something and he thinks that probably it shouldbe something spiritual, maybe
‘a sweat lodge ceremoay ora vision quest, But he ties this exercise instead,
‘As unused to this sort of creative wrestling ashe is, Henry stays with it. While no themes com to hm, realization ds. He
‘begins to sense that he's taken the easy way out in virally al of his recent writin and that his motivation throughout his eareer has
‘been a nee for eitial acclaim and success. He's never sen it so clearly before, but now he does: he's always Wanted o be popular.
[i dawns on him that he would like to be honest fora change. But how ean a man change his stripes just lke that? Ca he loeste
‘hs own tit under the facade he's ul up over a lifetime, while hie obsessions and compulsions wreak their havoc? Just thinking
‘about it makes him crave drags and sex He stops the exercise abruptly, not sure if he's depressed, disgusted, or aroused. He docs
‘know that be wants some Scotch,
‘Ashe gets up to pour himsef drink and quiet his nerves, it suddenly comes to him that he would like to write a nonfetion book,
‘maybe an intervie book with photographs, in which he poses but refuses to give an easy ansver othe question, “What is
bisexuality?” The very unanswerabiity of the question takes his breath away. But irony and eymicism quickly submerge the awe.
“"Who am Ito wit svch a book? Fonly want sex, not knowledge” And, “Which closeted Follywood bisexual can I get to play the
lead? And, "With songs, i'l play on Broadway for years!" But inside him abate rages between eynicism and hope,
‘A ttl comes to him: Men Who Sleep with Women... And with Men. Instantly he wonders if it shoulda’t be Men Who Sleep
swith Men... And with Women, As if that isn’t exactly the issue! As ifa hom ofthe dilemma ist the possiblity that he'll never
‘know which tle o choose! But this Hine of thought pleases him. He has the feeling that this ier dialogue, laced with tony a is,
stl has a oman facet
He frames his intention: “l will write uncynially about bisexuality, aot to glamorize it and not o defend it, but justo..." Many
times he tries to finish the sentence, but he discovers that he can't Finally he sunenders. I don't know the answer 'Ilnave to find
‘out This conclusion feels strange, provocative, and alanning. Before, when he wrote, he knew all the plot wists, how to describe
the sereenpiay ina smart sentence, wiere the commercials went i the Teleplay, when to ier a laugh. Not knowing feels weed.
‘ut richer and better than Knowing.
He frames his plan: wil write a truthful nafiction book about bisexuality. What i's otherwise about, have no idea.”
is fist step, he decides, i to paste up a par of pictures, one of an attractive woman and the second of an attractive man, om the
‘wall beside his compute. His ida isto be with these pictures to see how they affect him, and maybe to learn something ftom his
‘reaction to then. His ssood step ito start to rend the popula leraite on bisexuality. He has the sense that most off willbe too
artisan, too simple, or just wronghesded and false, but he reckons he'l have to faiirize hel with it sooner or late,
takes him a while o dream up some addtional tes, but then they come ta him all at once: to spend afew hours each day
‘writing from th heart instead of fem the head; to consciously empty himself ofthe writing ticks he's learned over the yeas; and to
‘write without irony. He recognizes that these step lack precision, but they seem, at leat tobe coming fom a place of
‘uncharacteristic genuineness. Ithis chapter were afiy tale, Henry would skip the whiskey. He doesa’t But he only has a single
large on, insea of several, whichis ise frst vietory.
‘One Writer’s Intention
Hire's how an actual writer strugeled to remain motivated and cary out her intention in the face of longstanding self-doubt, She
‘yrote me te following eter
teach literature ave creative writing to eleventh- and ovelth:grader. Bach year I beg to get the “low”
‘lasses. These ave kids who hate school, don tant tobe there, and usualy hate thaty English cesses the most
They feel spi. amd they areal shoved into ths sae clas, with thei ow performance skills being the one thing
they al have i common.
Tome, they ae all diamonds tn the rough Stl after twenty-eight years. 1Tove these kids, Workng with them
‘makes me fel truly alive. The challenge isa creative one and ove wt. What is the key’ tha will work with hs
(One... that one. What about that one?! Very eneting
‘Can Fmake voracious raers out of them? They come into my class having read ne or no books ever. The fist
hig they in ou otha they il be reac nove forthe oe tenty mimes th class EVERY dy ol Lee!
This feats thom out!
‘But 95 percent ofthe get totaly hooked because of JUST ONE WRITER. Tha! writer is RL. Stine. He's
wrt maybe fy o sc feenage murder mysteries that are SO mesmerizing FROM THE VERY FIRST
‘SENTENCE that these kids (most of them suffering om dysleia or attention defi disorder or problems that have
‘no name yet) get hooked and go into shock when they actually complete he first book in a couple of weeks. They
[proudly come up atthe start ofeach weekend to checkout the book forthe weekend becanse they siply MUST
Jind ot whet happens net
‘So one summer, ead relve of Stine’ books one right after the other, and 1 Dagan to see the elements that
‘made Fas books so exciting to teenagers. I decided to 17) writing my own murder mystery ustg some of the
clement tine ulized, neludng shor, direct sontences and a nonstop pot
“My problom is (and hs 1s going to sound so stupid, probably) that F'n very affected by others’ responses tothe
project. [play golf witha woman who teaches English aa colfege, and when told her was curently working on
‘ate mira mystery for teanagers one along the Ines of wha Stine writes, she sa, "You've goo be Reding!
‘Why dont you write a ood book?” another friend who ‘writes and paints responded with. “But you're really a good writer, Why would you want to drop down to that level when you could write so much better?” My dads
{concern is always mone: Fre wanted to now how much money could make on a litle tenage novel compared to
‘the amowrt I could make writing a succesful adult novel.
‘Using an exerese from my book Fearless Creating se crated te following vision statement, which she put up where she could
see iton the wall beside her computer.
“There ia large segment of ow teenage population that could fll trough the cracks as adults, bocause they are
‘unable 1 read and write atthe tevel 1 rakes to successfully survive today’s world These warm. playful, beouifd
‘ids ave classified as iterate
They need “brides.
Bridges are gifted people and methods that make u possible for these eager, yf chilben to leap fiom a
arrows limited world to one thai rich in possi.
“A few sled teachers perform this miracle every year And they els the help of enightoned writers of teenage
“Pctuon io accomplish hs miracle, What some people peretve as nothing more than “escape fiction” 1s, inrealiy.
‘a golden bridge to the magic land of posblt Reluctant readers hecome voracious reer
‘Because of these power teachers and writers, our world Becomes enriched Dy the Beauties that these
teenagers then bestow on us as they eter adulthood.
‘My own personal missin in his world, in his nearnatin. sf join hands with these teachors and writers
‘these bridges. ond ade my own light, love, and energyto the mysterious wnolding drama that we cal ie.
‘With her visioa statement posted in font of her as «reminder of er themes and intention, se began on her “ite” murder
mystery—which, a I write this, she's almost completed.
3. Making Choices
it blac, wieter o tackle racism inher novel or the sadomasochistic lve afur she experienced last winter.
Every wor isa choice, every plot twist i hve, every character tat is cvice
All these myriad choices notwithstanding. the primary choice a writer makes isthe following: wheter to rte for hese or for
‘the marketplace. Will she or won't she strive tobe a popular writer as well as adeep writer? This is a crucial choice, more important
‘than all he other choices put together,
Let's say that you manage to write and sella book every single year, which would be a terife ceomplishment. Each of those
‘books i likely Yo eam you no more than five, ten, o fifteen thousand dollars in royalties. Can you lve on that? Surely ot. You
‘could have what looks lke an extremely successful writing carer, with dozens and even scars of books published all the while
‘needing to otk a day job or fashion a second carer inorder to make cad mest. Or lets imagine that you received advances eve.
‘etter than average, say more in the twenty tWeaty-five-, oF thity~thousand-dollar range, Could you live on tht? Maybe barely. But
“what Ft took you two years to write one of your books, not one? You'd be back i he ten or fifteen-thowsand-~dollare-year range,
‘back below the poverty level {tine you sse what I'm geting a. Only the most poplar athorsearh a living by wring.
‘The advances for my last eight books have been in the order I recived them: eighteen [Link]. twenty, seven,
‘wentyfive, tree, twenty, and eight thousand dollars, Some ofthese books have earned addtional royalies, and tome haven't ye
“These modest numbers do not generate much excitement among agents, editors, or writers with stars in ther eyes, but they ae real
‘numbers earned by a working writer. They are real advances for real books inthe real world.
‘Cana person live on these amounts?
Certainly wot, The other day [read in the newspaper that a “middleclass” income inthe San Francisco Bay Area, where live, is
{defined as between sixty and one hundred thousand dollars annually. Viwally no writer, even those with a name you might
‘revoanize, e caring tat kind of money. Even waiters wh sella bundred thousand copies of a book do that only once or tice ina
lifetime, The rule is not ironclad, but itis very simple: a writer cant live by writing. And imagine if one were a poet?
“The deep vite not amatevals. Bute aleo dosen't want to live in poverty. As important as writing with integrity i, writers
aren't better equipped than anyone else to survive in a cardboard box under the freeway. So they do wit they can to make some
‘money. Sometimes they tach, often parttime. But that doesn't make much ofa difference. teach one class a semester at a
‘ellrespected college and ear tree thousand dollars a semester, ook thousand dollar a year. Others uy repairing bieyeles or
leading reveats or workshops. Some do mainstream things that pay a living wage, becoming diretors of environmental nonprofits of
‘corporate atiomeys. But they find that those fourteen-hour days preveat them from writin. Every write is foreed to try his hand at
{his or that, looking for answers, and many writers spend a letime looking for a reasondble solution thet allows for both a writing
life and a heated apartment without ever quite finding one.
‘My solution i that am maces to a wortan who earns living wage. Before that was helped by the GI Bll and by my mother.
In every writer's life are facts and sentences like these. When writers, and those who would cotnsel writers, ignore these realities,
‘they at into trouble. a writer has aJeeacy. an independeat income ora working spouse. or if, onthe other hand, a writer must
‘ye taining manuals or work in a bank fo pay the bil, these are Very important fet, To ignore them i 0 act as i one could ive
‘on air and dreams alone
“The financial sie ofthe matter is one important thing. The emotional side is another, How good does i eel to write and aot get
‘published? Say that you spend your time ftom age twenty to ‘enty-four writing an eccentric persona first novel, which you pul
{nto the markeiplace at atime cold to frst novels, such that all agents and editors who do net send you form rejections say that,
‘through no fault of yours or theirs, your novel cat be published. This news prompts you to start on a second novel, which you plan
{ovrtea litle more strategically but whieh sll tuns out persoual and idiosyneratie, 80 that you nov have two novels that ean"t be
told, Novr you're neering thirty and faced! withthe question: "What in God's name in| sappored to do next?” The answer you find
Im your heart is much more likely to be “Sump offa bridge!" than "Staton athid novel!"
“These two conundrums, the prctical and the emotional dog writers al their ives, A third conundrum, having todo with ethics
‘and itelectal integrity, dogs the deep writer aswell. Not only doesnot fel good to write a book filled with quarterruths and
‘outright lies, it doesn't feel too ethical either. Yes, i's exciting to contemplate selling a gullible public two million copes of your
‘chats with anges or aliens, Bu, mean, reall! Yes, i! would be wonderfl to make some thorbvghly outrageous clam i your ile—
‘Heat Yourself Instantly? Live Forever! Become a Gentus:—and ten promote your book like a fend and become a media tar and 8
‘reigning expert But the deep writer has trouble aiming for successes of this srt.
"Happily the principles of competition do not so favor the popular waiter thatthe deep writer, possessing a brain anda will can't
at eas think about competing. Maybe she can't write one kindof popular book, bat what about anotier kind one that looks and
Sells ike st belongs ona Desieller ist by virtue of iste and is willingness to open its anms to readers? The deep writer may not
be able to compete on even tems with the popalar writer, who has te large audience ready and waiting, Dut she ean atleast make
the conscious decision fo think about competing.
Thinkine ahant Choieee, “This chapter is about choosing. Writers must and will make choices: to write or nat to write, to tackle a book or an article, to write
for professionals ora lay audience, to write inthe fist person or the thd person.
“The primary choice under discussion here isthe chice a writer makes to write deply and also populry; that i, the choice a
‘writer makes to rite with one eye on the marketplace Is sich achoice possible forthe deep writer? Will her psyche alow fori?
‘Will agents and editors se tough her alfheared stomps st frmnala work or ger writing and ery, “Gotcha!” Ie hete away fora
deep write both to aim fr sucess and to write deeply?
‘Tam not saying the answer is yes, and ¥ am not saying the answer is no. think there san ouside chance, no more but aso-n0
less, that you Can write deeply and aso find commercial sceess
‘Sometimes successful writers give young writers the following advice: they smile and say, “Folloeyour bliss; write what’ ia
‘your hear: don't steno anyone about anything or worry about the marketplace: just be rue to yourself” I'm not implying thatthe
‘experienced waiters lying to you because she this of you as arival and wants you to fail. But I don't think she's telling you the
‘navarnished th,
1s tne that the mcceaful writer who gives auch advice may have been just uneccountably sky ther than devious, ests, of
promating. But it would be nse ihe orshe would confess tat L was jut lek. had this fiend who knew this age, and this
‘een new ths dior who ig a that second was looking fora novel abou lesbian werewolves who cigs tuple, s0Tgot
‘huge advance for my rst novel, which caused a great stir in the media and helped sll the Book later on, Plus by eoineidence the
pubicist was a lesbian werewolf herself who dropped everything to promote my book like mad, coupled with the fact that, for
‘whatever reason, I struck a deep chord with women readers who, it trne out ave an affinity for lesbian werewolves, andso, yes, do
‘write whatever you like, but also get very, Very lucky. Have the right irend who herelf has the right bend, and make sure that what
you're ving resonates in primitive way with book-buying women.”
1's possible that this writer aover did thnk about her potential audience, either in or out of conscious avrarenes, ashe was
‘writing her book. Conceivably, she relly was writing entirely for herself and then got icky. But imagine another write wino makes
‘this same claim with less justification. Tais writer has beea making marketplace choices all along. aiming her work at buyers but
‘walling that information of from herself. She's then able to say with a straight face,“ just vite what I like, and people seer to
‘respond to it” Some of our more successful nonfiction writers roday, who are likely to have backgrounds in marketing o& public
‘eations and notin the field in chich they wnte, are probably engaged in ths kn of self-deception Ifyou asked them, “Are you
{making outrageous claims just to sll books?” they would say “No!” and probably past le detector tx.
‘now a succesful ceramic sculptor whose art is very popular. she claims not to be intrested in the marketplace. She says she
Just does what her heart els her to do, But if you ak be, for example, why her cats eur up in tei trademark way—m making
‘this up, she doesn't sculpt cats—she wil tell you, buyers ike curled cats, not uncured cats. Curled cas fetch X dollars, and uncurled
‘ais, if you could sell one, would only fetch ¥ dollars. Despite er disclaimers, it tums out that she both understands the marketplace
‘and makes things wanted inthe markeipiace. That she is doing work she claims to love that coinexeatally sels snot, Think, 4
nappy aceient, but an unconscious choice that she keeps unconscious so that she ean avoid the charge that she is crassly
‘compromising.
{tend to talk to writers about these matters directly. say, “You may not be wring your current novel because your hear is hurt
‘over the fact that your first to novels never got published. Do you want fo ry your hand at popular fiction now? De you want to
‘aim straight atthe maskerplace?” Writers never take this a a veiled accusation or an insult, They may sill want ro write in their own
‘ay, trying third and fourth time to do exactly wht interests them, but they also know that their depressed finances and their
‘ther depressions ar inextricably inked to shoes of this sor.
{saw anew client this moming. A therapist who grew up in South America and came to the United States as an adult this woman
‘reported a personal history of childnood abuse, multiple personality disorder, and eating disorders. She wante to write about these
thee issues and their effects on he fe. She also wanted to explain how she helps clients with thse issues. On top ofthat, she
‘ranted to include her thoughts about er owa therapy. er spintualreaewal, and er stugeles with her sexuality. She hoped to
‘connect ll these matters in memoir form, She had an intodvtion an tes chapters already writen, which she'd seo me in
‘anteipation of our meeting. I found them compeling and well write.
"As we discussed her options, I said the following. “You could cersnly write this book asa memoir, bu eventhough afew
memoits did very well las season, they ae sill hard to sell. You could write a poplar sel help book about multiple personality
‘Guorde, nual child abuse, or eating disorders, but checked witha iteray agen! this moming and she continued what 1 surpected,
‘that none of these topics is much wanted atthe moment. My hunch is that your best bet of writing a commercially salable book sto
focus on something You just said to me, that eating disorders and a history of childhood abuse often go hand in hand, and to direct
‘the book tothe large audience of men and women who are overweight. You could make the controversial statement that overeating
‘and childhood abuse are Very often related, and take to the talk shows with the thesis that dieting may not work unless childhood
‘rau issues ae addressed, In ees, you would be writing a dei took—maybe in collaboration witha atritionist—and nev diet
‘books are always waned.”
‘Maybe she will write a personal memoir, or maybe she will write book designed forthe marketplace. Ihave n investment in
‘etter outoome: let me be clear about tht. Deep ring i what I wanted om her and wat [at fom you. But sf you ean find the
‘way todo both, to write deeply and also to frame your book strategically you will have made a choice with pleasent marketplace
scomsequences,
Framing Your Book
Hold your anns out infront of you and bend them comfortably at the elbows, tuning your palms upward, What you are doing is
‘making a kind of seale ou of your being. using your pals to hold quantities you'll be weighing in each hand,
‘Practice by rising and lowering each palm, sensing how they fel when they're out of balance with each other and when they're
inbalance.
‘Now imagine that in one palm you're holding the word "deep" and in he other palm the word “strategie.” Substitute whatever
‘words resonate for you: ‘persoual," “thoughtful” or “idiosyncratic”; “popula,” “besteling,” or “commercial” Bring these wo
_quasiis, these two ideas, into balance. Feel the weight ofeach fal especially how they Want to come into balance, how chat feels
like the most comfortable postion ofall Whenever you write a piece that you hope willbe both deep and popular, ring ou yout
‘personal scale, Feel any imbalance, and ask yourself the question, “Wat do T need to do to strike a better Dalance™
“Lets say that you want to write strategically or that you a least want to think about tha possibility. Lets also say forthe sake of
this discussion. tht you havea nonfiction self-help book in mind. because in that genre we ee most clearly how a popular book can.
‘be manutactred. Probably (0 start wit, You would only have a tread subject ora Vague idea in mind. It might be “someting about
incest” 97 or "Something about sibting rivalry.” 1 might have to do with spirituality, aging, o parent-child relationships, Maybe
‘you've taught for many years and fel ready to describe some successfil teaching tchniques. Maybe there's something important
‘you've leamed from your divorce that you feel is worth communicating to others
‘Many would-be sef-belp writers get fo this point and no father. They havea dream of writing and a vague idea about what they
‘vant to write about, but they cant proceed, The following exercise can help such writes move forward, because it reveals ow
every subject i really a multitude of subjects, slightly different or very different from one another depending onthe “frame” or point
‘of view chosen taleo sows how the marketplace can be taken iat consideration astray ana even efotlssy.
“Take look a the following twenty-five frames. What they represent wil become clearer to you when you see the examples that
follow. For now, just read them over. 7. Connecting a philosophy or religion with a subject
8. Mood management
9, Lifespan vitality
10. Psychological health and healing
1. Specific psychological disorders
12. Mind/body integration
13. Spirituality
14, Personal effectiveness
15, Time management
16. Relationship management
17. Community building
18, Value building
19, Confidence building
20, Roatedness
21. Process
22, Strategies
23. Categories
24, Altemative approaches
Mary, a carer counselor at a small college in a Midwestem town, has had the desire to write for the longest time, eve since
childhood. But she's fallen into the trap I described: the subject she'd like to write about, somehow related to her career counseling
‘experiences, fess too big and too amorphous to tackle. She knows that she's helped hundreds of people find jos and that she mst
Ihave alot o say about ber way of working. and she alo knows tat whenever the picks up a book in er field she has the same
‘reaction: [could write hat! But se has’ started writing ye.
‘Mary comes upon the following exerts: create twenty-five tiles that sound ik ites you'd see in your local bookstore,
‘connecting your subject up with each ofthe twenty-five frames just sted, These are the Book tls Mary creates.
1. Nowness—Job Hunting the Modem Way
2, Simplfication—Everybody’s Basie Guide to Job Hunting
43, Ease—Job Hinting Made Easy
4 Comprehensiveness—Mary Smith's Complete Guide to Job Hunting
‘S. Demystifiction Job Hunting Seoree Your Counselor Never Told You
6, Encreases—Double Your Job Prospects!
7. Connecting «philosophy of religion with a subject—The Tao of Job Hunting
', Personal creativity—Job Hunting on the Right Side of the Brain
9, Mood mansgement—Conquering the Job-Hiumtng Blues
10. Lifespan vitality Exciting Work After Pity!
11, Psychological heath and hesling — Finda Job Without Losing Your Mind
12 Specific psychological disorders— Ending tnterview Phobia
13, Mindtody integration —The Holistic Job Search
14 Spiritalty—Job Hunting with Sout
1S, Personal Efectiveness —The Fight Skills of Effective Job Hunters 101
16. Time managernent—Your Perfect Resume in Twenty Minutes Fat!
17, Relationship management —Psople Hire Psople
18, Community building —Networking with Heart
19, Value building —The Ten Commandments of Jo Hasina
20. Confidence builing—Afinnations for Job Hunters
21. Roatedness— Works Where You Live
22, Process—Seven Steps to Suecessfl Job Hunting
25. Strategies —Soltion-Focused Job Hunting
24. Categories Employers Are fom Earth, Job Hunters Ave from Pluto
2. Attmtive appeoaches—Grest Jobs Through the Back Doot
She looks at her ist and can't believe her eyes, For the frst time she sees how a big subject can become a manageable subject by
‘ire of some simple focusing. Not only could she write just about any ofthese books, two or thee of ther actually interest her. She
herself uses affirmations, and she could surely write a book called AMfimations for Job Hunters. Asa student of Taoist poetry and
philosophy, she finds The Ta of Job Hunting another naturel. This way of faming a book never occured to he, but now that she's
{rig er hand at it feel as if veil has been lifted fom her eyes. Sh il has choloesto make: which ofthese books she relly
‘vans to wit, which would have the best chance inthe marketplace, whether her fist choice has been done to death already and
‘many more, But these are choices with an inviting, athe than a tering, fel to them,
‘Consider Mark. Mark is trying to switch careers. He's sold things his whole if, al the while hoping fora beter, more falling
‘carer Recently he's bez consulting with some of is ends who ao sell doing informal workchops onthe subject of balding
‘confidence. He feels some conflict about tis, because he's not eally sure that he wens o spend his time helping people do a beter
job ofsellng, but by the same token he finds i too arrogant to dismiss al the decent salespeople he kaows out of hand, So, although
hn isn't all that confident himself and although some residue of confit remains, he leads more ofthese workshops. After a wile
‘he bogins to think about writing a book on the subject.
‘He comes upon this exercise and gives i a ty, saying to himself, Ll gt‘contidauce nto every tte and be bold in my’ claims!”
He generates the following Hist:
[Newness Brand New Confidence for Today's Salesperson!
Simplification Sates Confidence Made Simple
-Ease—Grow Confident While You Ca! Nap Between Customers!
‘Comprehensiveness—Total Confidence for Salespeople
‘Demystfication Secrets of the Confident Salesperson 7. Connecting a philosophy of religion with a subjest—Zen Confidence inthe Showroom
8, Personal cretvity Creating Confident Salespeople
9, Mood management —Beat the Prospecting Blues with Confidence
10. Lifespan vitality—Confident Selling After Fity
11, Peyehotogteal heath and healing — Cure Sales Burnout with Confidence!
12, Specific psychological disorders Overcome Your Cold Calling Phobia with Confidence
13. Mind/body integration—Holistc Selling with Confidence
14, Spirituality —The Sou! of Sales Confidence
15, Personal effectivenes+—Sel the Confident Way
16, Time management—One Hour to Greater Sales Confidence!
17, Relationship management Increasing Customer Confidence
18, Community building Building Confidence and Community in Your Sales Force
19. Value building —Confidence Isa Sales Vitue!
Confidence building —Five Steps to Selling with Confidence
|. Rootedness—Confdent Selling to Friends an Neighbors
2. Process—The Eight Stages of Confidence Building for Salespeople
‘Strategies Affirming the Confident Sales Lite
Categories Confident Seller, Happy Buyer
Attemative approaches —Thirty Unusual Ways to Gain Confidence in the Sales Arena
BEEREB
Like Mary, Mark sees how cach tle represents a different frame, a different choice, and different possibilities and liabilities. He
has already Depun to create steps, stages, and tactics in his workshops, and Five Sieps fo Selling with Conyldence, The Fight Sioges
(of Confidence Building for Salespeople, and Thirty Unusuat Wes fo Gain Confidence in the Sates Arena all sound atactive 0
Ini, Of course, he has no iden what the real numberof step, stages, or ways ate a's jst made them tp for the sake of tale
‘exercise. Maybe e's go eive strategie to offer, or maybe he's got tiny. Mayne there are six stages ad not cht stages,
‘leven steps and not five, All hat can be worked out. His own confidence grows ashe contemplates the essential ease wih wich a
‘book ofthis sort might be constructed.
“re suddenly realizes what ties ofthis sort sem to promise and what they actually do promise. At heir most grandiose and
nyperbolic, they seem fo offer the sun andthe mooa, Yet book buyers understnd that a book canbe called aye Yow Cont
Become a Tiny Bit More Constaent You Dry Really Hard ot Investigation ofthe Eject of Cognitive Techniques on
Confidence-Buiiding inthe Statisticay Average Person. I has to be called something like Total Confldence! The deep waiter, who
‘nates the idan of hyperbolic tls and bareess promises, daes't have to wory that book buyers ae taking such a ile erally All
‘readers are hoping for is a book that willbe reasonably useful
“oioi Confidence, when done by a deep writer, would only have todo a serious job of communicating how readers could become
somewhat more confident. The deep writes would do an honorable, common-sense Job, offering sound advice and effetive
stratesies, Between its covers, it would stop its sles pitch and just o good work, Readers, who might gan something from such a
‘book, would have very litle chance of encountering it unles te writer had framed her subject in such a nay that intrested egos,
‘editors, and the book-buying public
‘Questions of “truth in advertising” ae of real concem to the deep writer, who i frst and foremost an ethics. They are not to be
then lightly or dismissed with a shrug. As Tas finishing writing my book Staying Sane in dhe ris, when a final decision about its
tile had o be made, 1 was asked if felt comfortable calling it tant Sane and Solvent in ine ars. My publisher's marketing
‘iretor wanted atte that offered promis ofthat sot. But Ihad 1a say no, Tet hat [was offering a wa fr creative and
performing artists to make sense ofthe psychological challenges they face, bot I eouldn"t begin fo promise them a pat to solvency.
‘That fl ice a ine [coulda eros,
1's easy to see how an exercise ofthis sort works fra subject like job hunting or confident selling. But what ia writers subject
‘is more nebulous or ambiguous? What i he is ambivalent about the promises he can honorably make? What i he has virtually no
promises to make, ony difficult, even unanswerable questions fo pose? Even then ths framing eXereise has its value. ts playfulness
| g00¢ antidote tothe heaviness and heavy-heartedness that so often accompany contemplation of our eomples, offen
‘contradictory ides
‘Consider the predicament of John, the executive director of a nonprofit vironmental organization. He possesses alove of nature
‘and real concer for environmental issues, but his pilosophical attitude distinguishes him fom many other activists. He feels
‘confused about how to balance the rights of squires with the rights of lumberjacks: are squires really as important as people? For
‘that matter, are people really a important as squirrels? He's confused as to whether we are all sacred creatures or throwaways, and
“whether himan consciousness endows us with special privileges or responsibilities; and be has a milion other questions that either
‘can't be answered neatly or can’t be answered to his satisfaction.
le senses that he tsa book to write about all ofthis, ut how can he write a book when i hardly knows wht he fess? He tres
‘his framing exercise anyway. not to arive ata bestselling il but us to loosen himself up to havea litle absurd fun, to bein to
play withthe thoughts that have teen percolating inside of him for year. In this spistpar playful, part ironic. part skeptical, part
Hhopefil—he generates the following list. As he thinks about each t,he actually gains clarity about his personal philosophies,
1. Nowness
Environmental Astivism for Today— “Boring,” he thinks, “Yawn. Andi s't what [have in mind.”
2, Simplification
Environmental Activism for Idiots —*Not bad. You could sll some good, simple ideas in such a book, the usual
composting recycling, at locally, think globally things. dont find this offensive.”
3. Ease
‘Save the Earth Without Leaving Your Couch!—“H'm, I'm impressed, [should probably throw in world peace”
4, Comprehensiveness
How to Save Every Leaf, Bug, and Pond!—-What a mouthful! I think not.”
5, Demyptiication
‘Ten Secrets ofan Enviroamental Activist—“Whats this one about? Maybe a how-to guide for Hedging nouprots? Or
‘errila tactics for environmental atvists? Could be some possibilities he.
6, Increases
Increase the Ozone Layer by 100 Pescest!— ie thet! [could bash ear emission standards, factory emission standard, the
indastral revolution itself. But ie sil doesnt speak to what's in my tear.”
7 Comecting a philosophy or rliion witha sbject 8, Personal creativity
(Creative Ecology—“Let's see, afew painting exercises, itl journaling about your fears and hopes forthe
environment—was
8, Mood management
Environmental Blues—“H'm, This one fels interesting. !do believe that environmental consciousness and depression go
‘hand in aed. What fT suggest that, rater than loking at environmental depression” asa tragedy, we consider weil
information that helps us understand why its hard forthe average person to get involved and why activists bum out? T bet T
could suggest some answersmayie even eam some answers for mysel!™
‘On John goes, He discovers that he may have something important to say and that he may be abe to finda way to say it. He has
the experiences and credentials to write an important book, snd maybe now be can find the right framework. He see hat he doesn't
have to wite a book called Save e Whale in Six Minutes
Flat, but that even if he should stoop fo sue a title e mah til beable fo el his onest story within that Book's pages. Ashe
{thinks about this, a working tile for his book suddenly coms to him: rm Here fo Fcoiogy Itmakes him smile. He doesa't know
‘what the book will be about, but he has the sense that it willbe about something
‘Serving Two Masters
[tmay soem as if we've veered off ia a strange direction, toward bestsellerdom and marketplace mania, when we started off on
‘achieving a quiet mind and holding a deep writing intention. But remember that you have two objectives in mind and wa masters to
Serve: to waite deeply. but to write someting that has a chance inthe marketplace. It doesnt mater if that marketplace is the
‘marketplace of literary magazines, academic jourals, regional presses, o large New York City publishers, To have readers 10
serve a second master in addition to yourself
‘Writers in the real world tend to mke one ofthe following choices:
1, “Ido not care about success inthe marketplace or access to the marketplace am writing my wor the way needs to be
2. “Tare about success inthe marketplace and access tothe marketplace, but till mean to write my work the way it needs to
‘be writen, Phas a mitace will occur and my poem, fry, article, or book willbe wanted despite is disregard for
commercial expectations.”
3, "Lear about suscess inthe markeiplace, and [will sive to make my writing commercially viable, This may mean that my
ldeas may cease to exist in ther original frm and that only a portion oftheir depth willbe retained. But I can live with tha.”
‘Do you find ne ofthese postions more satisfactory than the others? Ae there better variations? Can you retain your intellectual
‘honesty and morals while meeting the demands of the marketplace? Should you try to vite “somewhere in the middle” bending this
‘vay forte sake of your reading public and bending the other way forthe sake of truhfulness—all this bending and swaying
‘resting. one fear, in work that is neither fish nor fow!? suppose wen alls said and done Tam saying the following: deep writing
‘sone thing and career considerations are another, but itis hard no to want to thnk about beth and find some way to craft ahappy
‘mariage between them,
‘fyou doa’ think this is a puzzle harder o solve than the most diabolical mathematical bran str, you haven't tid living the
‘writing ie. Early one recent morning, driving home from dropping off my oldest daughter 2 schoo, [saw a tax pull upto the cub
‘ona deserted suburban sitet. The fist sentence oF a new aovel came to me, “Taxis in suburbia always augur stage events’ & aad
‘aunts unanaounced vist. the rtm ofthe prodigal or something equally sinister” I fle could Isanch right into tis novel, leering
“hat twas about as [began to write. But these days choose not fo waite such novels. Theyaze foo hard to sel. Am | saying that
‘you shouldn't waite them? No. Am T saying that you should waite them? No. Am I straddling the fence? Yes!
‘Yesterday Lreceived an angry letter fiom a painter in Haly about my book 4yfrmations Jor Artists. Toward the middle ofthe
letter he wrote:
Especially on the question of painting for the market and painting for yourself you're squarely on the fence.
whats wrong with patoig jn thar self sate he pant” dian? an arti heritage richer because OF
some artists wha refized to cater to an austence? I once took a psychology class and quickly learned tha J could
{et top grades simpy by identing the weasel worded answer among the muliple choices. Tour affemtions
Feminded me of those wearel worded answers. I this a characteristic of therapists?
1am straddling the fence, advocating neither the purely personal nor the purely commercial, besause Doth choices leave alot to
‘be dosed. With the first, the likelihood i great tat wit you write will not be wanted or will be wanted in init way, and
psychological pain accompanies this outcome. With the second, you may wel el that you've violated some important ethical
‘punciples and are likely te experience peychological discomfort as a result, The most satisfactory path exremely diicult to
‘negotiate Dut not impossible, if srve tomarry the deep and the commercial in such 8 way that Your truth pet old and als
reaches a wide audience.
‘Our Writers Begin to Choose
A the point where we left them, our five writes had each formed a writing intention, mapped out a beginning plan, and begua fo
‘think abost their projets. Amelia was thinking bout a novel set in an incane asylum. Marjorie started oa mystery at wiose heer
‘as her own anger ith her mother. Sam set out to do sescarch on the subject ofthe emotional support of employees. Anne decided
todo character sketches of unfamiliar women and fo check out the requirements of bestseller fiction. Henry toyed with the idea of
‘investigating his own bisexuality
ad they factored the marketplace into their calculations yet? No; only Anae has consciously wrestled with heise at al. Wil
‘they begin to factor in marketplace considerations ae they make thei next writing choices? Probably no, since thinking about the
‘marketplace isnot uppermost ina writer's mind as she begins to wrestle with her material. We might hope and wish tha our writers
‘vent aa exercise equivalent tothe traning eserciee presented ia his chapter or in some other Way thik about angling their Work
‘toward potential readers. But this rarely how a writer begins, consumed, as she usually i, with how to most effectively bring het
‘thoughts and feelings to ite.
"Amelia's working title for her insane asylum book isthe Jane Austen—like Pa na Possibility. Her way of working isto write
‘whatever comes to mind, fo write without censoring herself. This way of writing feels chaotic, wild, and even dangerous, but is aso
‘he most naira. When she reads the scene fragments she's procucing here a scene that e nothing tthe description of «scream,
‘there a scene that is nothing but a snapshot ofthe yellow wills of the asylum—she worries that she's prodicing a gigantic ple of
‘puzzle pieces that she won't be abl oft together. But she shrugs that possibility away and continues to writ on the wild sie.
‘Marjrie's working te is The Ol Lady Dies, She finds herself writing scene after scene between a mother and daughter, even
‘though these scenes Keep putting the murder off. She haste suspicion tht she should step back and make an outline plot the novel,
ee ee ee ee oe eee eee ee eee eee ae ane make an Outen: Bit he nove ‘Write intense, almost unbearably sad mother-and-daughter scenes. simultancously letting neither character off the hook while
preparing forthe murder. Her choise like Amelia's sto go where she feels she must go—to just write,
‘Sam has made a different sort of choice. Out of fear that e has nothing to say anda belief that he'd beter toe the line, he retreats
‘rom his commitment o examine his subject. le make the decision to choose a simpler subject, one recommended by his thesis
‘adviser. Sam commences a literature search and soon accumulates hundreds of synopses and citations. But he ean fel his writer's
‘lock retming with a vengeance. After a few weeks he stops collecting data and tie to confront his own felings. He doesn't ike
the ehoice he's made, to focus his advises subject, but he eat seam fo convince himself to return ta hi cher, eke fest
‘choice. After a while e finds himself avoiding thinking about his thesis altogether
Anne's choice, with which she is not entirely comfortable, isto write a book tats as commercial as she can make it without
‘doing too much violence to her sou. She really wants 2 breakout book and a way off the publisher's midis But afer weeks of |
‘holding this inteation, she stil doesn't know what she's supposed to be writing, The tak is making er feel grumpy, blue, and a litle
insane, but she's detained to Hold out for a bestaeller ides, Her central choice is to nt launch info a eloguent mist book like the
‘ones she's written many times before.
‘Unlike Ane, Fenty isnot looking to write a bestsell although he'd tae one if it eame. tis main decisions ae to retain from
‘writing glibly and to reclaim bis lost integrity. The working tte for the book he's contemplating is Everything Yow Ever Wanted
Know About Bisexuality: 4 Complete Guide to Loving Men and Women. He knows that to promise to explain bisexoaity when he
‘doosn't understand it himself snot the epitome of honesty, bute takes deep breath and reminds himself that he doesn't have to
‘rite tun he's read
“Like our five writer, you have choices to make, The first isto choose to begin f you haven't made that choice yet, please make
itnow. Also think about what I've beea discussing in this chapter about balancing the desire to write deeply and personally withthe
‘desire to in an audience and succeed inthe marketplace, It may take you a considerable while to know what you want to write of
‘what your book is about, st sis taken ow ive writers realtime and effort o begin fo understand thelr projects. But as you can
tell, our writers aren't so far ahead of you that, with some steady jogging anda good sprint tthe end, you ean eatch up.
4, Honoring the Process
Wael
Honoring the process means, fst ofa, scepting the complexity of writing. mean no eying lip service to tt rely acepting
complet, Wo can blame ws for wanting gunances? Whe can blame s fr drenming fet mang misakes? But a proces
[rocese and wings lsat ts nberenty ancl and ofen pif you ant owt deeply you tvs accept te fact
every pice a sing a Yves ao the kos, vans harden theater an Tl of pote dite 5 poste
{postive nace the wing proces, but fs you tus accep the ally of tat procs
"ry the flowing experiment. age tht good iea comes fo a woul-be writer Imagine tha this woul-be wir dest jot
own the idea bu instead goes abou his business of watching television, ansering the pone raking sandwich, and going he
pmo play nsqetal. With se sil be tere ene sets home fom he an? Tae odds mst be one nde oe sain.
‘Thott hath hd rash fo dak fo record hs wring ea mms a ths Wier ht tying old eno own Yeas: that
th dzeu't ely care sont hem Tasker he mis any someting ke“ love to wre, bl Fm st mot creme” or “ae ot
‘Aon Entlah att nve go ay god ean" He dora raze hal e's ean odo oe ofthe mos naturel ng tts oe
{ter joing dow uring se when ey come.
I thre is meaning to the pre “honoring the proces," thre mt also be mening io he pias “dshonering the proces." The
fintumics no sean tls he second docs is. T hops tnt oul ake seis the oon tht you cn elp earn te ning
[rocer and ta ina cores ofawurenc, you iteady know which of tc to you ae doing. You won't es aware al he
{ine or prc and smetnes in good fit yo'l lat are bulb even hough you're reaming of tps, Bu when you fd
{he counge to explore your ova uh about hoorng mn cnhonring te roes, some wtngssceses ae bound fo happen
Writing a Novel in Two Months? Time
‘The writing process is complex, not simple. To gt from here to The Brothers Raramacov is ota walkin the park. Even it
‘writing & piven book were fast and efforls=-—as sometimes the wrting ofa beck is the petronality and history ofthe haznan being
‘doing the writing provide the complexity. The writer has thought, fl, anc experienced a millon things. Ifyou are Dostoevsky,
‘you've been neatly exectted bythe Czar: your tyrannical fither was killed by is own servans: you are alicted with some erie
‘malady, maybe epilepsy, maybe pani attacks. You've been imprisoned in Siberia. You Were discovered by Russia's preeminent
literacy rte, to whom your roommate boldly hand-delivered the manuscript of your first novel, You started out radically liberal and
‘ended up radically conservative. And, before you dig, you write The Brothers Karamazov, whose vety existance is testament to the
ft that out of exactly this complexity of if, and not some il, comes desp writing
“The internal processes that precede writing are always anything but simple A writer may complete her stage play in a weskend or
‘her novel in tree weeks, the amount of time it tok the Belgian novelist Georges Simenon fo write his novels. She may write her
‘nonfiction book in sic months or a yer. But to imagine that the writing proces hasbeen limited to those few days, weeks, or months
ist forget to include conception and gestation in one's definition of te birthing process. Birth is more than labor and delivery.
“Take the case ofthe last novel T wrote, during te early part of 1987. Several years before that winter a certain idea had begun to
pester me.I began to wonder why Israel Jews stayed inthe Middle East when peace there looked to be a patent impossibility. Why
‘Sida’ the Jews of Israel pack up and create an equally “sacred” homeland somewhere eles? This seemed like an excellent idea fora
‘novel, both intellectually interesting and commercially viable.
{wanted the novel to make ealine, sir debate, and even spur Israel's move. This may sound grandiose and ridiculous, and of
‘couse 'm not saying it with a straight face, But [also an How infuental were books like Uscle Tom's Cabin, The Silent Spring,
‘or the novels of Orwell or Solzhenitsyn? Maybe very influential. Who can say? | wanted Moving Isa! to get Israel moving. 1
‘ranted to change the course of history.
After many hesittions and false starts, wrote the novel. The actual writing took only ‘Wo months, bu all he prefiminaries were
integral tothe process of writing Moving fvact asthe sixty active writing days in the winter of 1997. As it happened, although 76
‘never kept a journal in conjunction with my writing before and never have sine, this time I did. These excerpts show hovr long and
‘anoous the preliminaries canbe.
April 18,1994
‘Tax day, I'm about to begin on New Jerusalem [my working tite], Yesterday the first sentence came to me:
“A Jew can do anything,” Lev Goldstein said, “except stem he tide of istry”
ust a year ago I was certain that I would never write fction again. Nonfiction was so much the beter et tha for me 1o thik
about writing fleton felt like an act of bad fit, apiece of iresponsbility Ihave children, a morgage, retirement needs ICT sick to
‘nonfiction I cn perhaps build career: maybe the odds are ten to one against me, or twenty to one, As @ writer about artists’ istes 1
‘am growing arepuration, and areal career ava nonfiction writer nota dream Dut a near rely. But a ton, th odd mst il be
‘thousand to one against me, or worse. Why, then, wit it?
‘Becaute this time Ihave a nev goal. This ime I mean todo commercial, plot-driven, market-wise fiction thet, parenthetically, 1 ‘But have my doubts that should try to do this. won" begin i unless and uti T believe in its commercial viability,
“April 16,1998
‘What I hoped wouldn't happen is happening. a writing the novel, despite my pledge not to start yet. I wrote two pages of
‘daiogue between Lev and anewspaper editor because I saw Max Frankl reining executive editor ofthe New York Times, on
‘Charlie Rose today,
“April 17,1998
Plot elements are coming to me unbidden.
‘Yesterday taught at St Mary's and was otherwise kept busy throughout the day. But sill stopped to record thoughts onthe
‘novel, Today the plot sammary ame to me
‘A Jew ses out o move Israel to the South Pacific
‘Pye never before been able to say ina sentence what a novel of mine was about, partly because they weren't “high concept” or
plot-riven books, partly because I refused to make the effort.
In this book I will do what an agent some years ago seid I must do: “Reign in my quitkines."'l focus on telling a good story.
‘Ul saveat drama and aot Wait to see What drama Was to unfold, “make something happen.”
‘Yesterday and again today I told Ann that I might be writing a novel, even though I'd sworn that I wouldn't write fiction again.
‘But made itcleae that | meaat to wite commercial fiction, tha my goal wasn Yo tell a wonderfl poychological sory bu to ell
“As always, she give me her blesing. What ise were another sort of person? Thea I cult have this if
“April 19,1998
‘Suaday afternoon the support aroup I formed met forthe second time. In Mare I told them hat only write nonfiction, tat I
‘ould never write fiction agnin. 1 explained why. This meetin {old them about Nev Jeruseler. I gave them the pot ins sentence,
‘They got it instantly. loved it, wanted to see it written. T could hear in the reactions of these not-babesrin-the- woods the kind of
‘enthusiasm that could be generated ata publishing house.
“April 20, 1994
{hin hat ' do today is begin to plot New Jerusalem.
‘But how do you plot a novel? T have a master's degree in creative writing. ve written many novels, including three, writen
doring my ghostwriting career, tat were plor-drven (but at plotted out beforeband), I've read alt of etion. But forall that can't
say that know how to plot not the way that ean say tha I Know how to teach a clas or counsel a cient, How do you plot?
‘Twant to write commercial fiction. But Ido not knove how to pet, which must mean that T do not want to pot. 1s this my
‘waterioe?
‘April 21,1994
1 di some potting yesterday. [can't say that t went well andl can't say that it went il and I can't say that feo anything but
sour today
October 28, 1994
‘Six months have passed. In those months, [wrote Fearless Creating after I sold ito Jeremy Tarcher. Then I began obsessing
bout a book about atheism —but working oni upset and disoriented me, because each day my belief grew that no such book would
‘ver be Wanted. So stopped, andthe momeat I stopped a “small” book came to me, a book of aflimaions for ares took @ week
‘and put together a proposal fori, and yesterday T mailed that to my agat
‘Aer I'd mailed the packoge, began on New Jentalem again. Now it sem te somehow informed by the work | aid on
atheism by Thomas Paine, by Voltaire, by the obscure Catholic priest who near death converted to ates and wrote a biliant
‘nt-Church manifesto that somchow go! into Voltaire's hands, by the British fecthinker Chapman Cohen. bythe philosopher
‘Antony Fle, who wrote ofthe “ead war ofthe mind between believers ad nonbeliever, by Madalyn Murray O”Hiai, who Wrote
interestingly o the idea that one cant be both a Jew and an atheist, that Jews have fo choose.
‘So New Jerusalem isa differen book now. But bow?
November 5, 1994
[thought that the idee fr this novel came to me just this yee; But this moming while looking for something onan old disk dating
‘bac tothe spring of 1991 {came actos a file labeled NEWIEW.
‘Avery strange thing.
{pulled up the file and red te fist couple of seatences,
"New Jerusalem.
“The relocation of tarael to a island inthe Paciic.
Why didn't drop everyting to write it back then? I can imagine why. First, Pd long befor stopped Believing in the possibility
‘of selling Inerry fiction. Second. [ad no confidence that | could write mainstream fiction, aaving previously filed a ny
halfhearted attempts. Third, this would have been early in my pledge never to write fiction again, Fourth, I hed good ideas all the
time and had stopped believing inthe sinficance of good ideas.
‘But to have entirely and completely not remembered?
November 9, 1994
‘Pe been working onthe book steadily for five or six days, but ven’ aodced the ime. On some days | go to a café and get an
‘orange scone and coffee and write before picking the gts vp ftom school. When did last work on a aovel in a caf? It absolutely
‘the thing [am easiest with, Pad, pen, people passing, it is my heaven on earth,
‘November 15,1994
1's raining hard, 1 see by my las entry that a week ago 1 was working well onthe book. Not this past week. Why? Because along.
‘withthe strong desire to write it 1 possess the equally strong desire fo jgnove it and punish it
{wonder if can explain this, The book and Lareon fendly terms, (I haven't been on fiendly terme with all the books 1's
‘written. On certain days we are in love. But no novel will dictate to me again. “Never again" I want this novel to understand its
lace in my life. So this past Week 1 rejected it even on days when, all tings considered I might have worked oni And in proving
‘his point Ive fet some days slip by that, as write this ery, regret having squandered,
Jansary 13, 1995
Friday the Thirteenth. Two months have passed since wrote inthis joumal. ve been working intensely during this ime on
revisions of Fearless Creating, Pve though about New Jerusalem vitally nota ail, nor have I been thinking about any other BOOK.
T would have to say that New Jerusalem isa’ tgging a me, eventhough 8 few weeks ago my fiend Gary Camp seat me several
‘pages of provocative quote material His contributions elped me see te book more clearly. But despite that st inthe ar, the
‘novel snot alive in me a ths moment.
Janwary 16, 1997
“Almost two yeas have passed since T wrote inthis journal!
{ spent 1995 and 1996 writing three books and most rcsaly proposal for a book on creativity issues in therapy. Lust write
that book next. But since the tam ofthe year I've felt compelled to return tothe novel
‘Am Ieally writing i tis te? Or will next encovater this journal i the yeae 20007
1 did write Moning lorae this time, Today it is with Iierary agent who is looking to find it a publisher {ended up writing iin
sixty days, but 1 bad it in mind for more than six years. Each of us is ikely to experience such twists and turns, sch Starts and stops,
‘as We take an idea or a feeling and internally “process” it. Let me predict how Amelia, Marjorie, Sam, Anne, end Henry will experience this writing process as they embark on their Wonderland journey to who-can-say-where.
Entangled in Process
Amelia is writing her madhouse novel. But because it isn" plotriven, because she's not sure shat she intends the book o be
about, and because she does’t know who the main characte is (sometimes it seems to be an instiionalized young woman,
Sometimes it seame tobe that charactors sist, sometimes it seems to bea thind worn trapped in the hospital's locked ward), he
finds herself writing bits and pieces, par-scenes apd single sentences, which do not go together in any discernible way.
Finally, ed ofthis road (whichis winding exactly as {must wind, but how can she know that she doesn't have a map, road
signs, previous experience, or a clear destination”), Amelia decides that she must make some plot. Out of frustation, she decides that
the wll give her novel plot line, an that she will doi today. She hansmets outa plot having todo witha aay atan, Lenay, amuse
inthe locked ward, wih didnot exist yesterday. She writes for a month and ends up with a hundred pages. Then she reads what she's
‘aot, Pars oft are good, but overall she hates it. For the next two months she does writ anything
Amelia is now “blocked.” One solution to her problem, not the best, perhaps, but the one she's most likely to choose, isto decide
to just wit the darned book” and se how it tums out. second solation efor he o say, “Either I'll ome up with some effective
‘changes, uot ust revising te Book but revisioning to, i that fis, 1" abandon this aovel for now and move oa to the next thing”
‘Both are reasonable options
‘But right nove, entangle inthe process, inthe throes of frst novel pane, Amelia fs nt able to make one ofthese choices. crisis
is brewing within her, and she begins to wonder if she shouldn't move totaly or pierce a body part.
‘Marjorie, because se's writing a detective novel, on the fice oft hasan easier road to negotiate, She Knows that she must
provide clues, a murder, a murderer, @ Female detective. She has no iatention of writing a French absurdist mystery in which noting
‘actualy happens. She's not embarking oa a Czech mystery that doubles asain allegory about bureaucracies. She's witing 8
Strightforvard, sensible mystery, where rigor mortis ses in lke clockwork. But she too is blocked.
‘Not totaly, She writes itl is, then revises them end revises them, Out ofa whole melon she gets a spoonful of fu. aa
‘comer of er aeareness she knows that her critical tendency is he issue, making her hate er sentences and despise hese, but she
‘can’t seem to rein in ber selF-unfiendiness Like Amelia, Marjorie doesn't understand how ugly and awfUl the first draft of fist
‘novel can be. More than Amelia, Marjorie chasis herself for hat ugliness. How could somone who's read so many books write
Something so awl? How could someone wo's taken so many wring workshops stil use the passive voice? How could she split
infnitives here and lather characters say such inane things there? How could she be sush an idiot?
ehaps Marjorie should write her fis rafal the way trough, uply as some sentences and scenes are hound tobe, It might be
best if she just wrote, letting in fe nd all the mistakes that gain eniy. not stopping to revise until the killer daughter is arested and
the gil detective makes her last witty remark. But all Marjorie is doing right now, entangle in process and beset by doubt, #8
potting commas in and taking commas out. She is so assiduously fine-tuning her sentences that noting alive is happening
‘Sem, having retreated from the challenge of looking deeply into the subject ofthe emotional support of employees, isn't writing
atoll If Amelia and Marjorie are blocked, Sam is neck-decp in concrete. He tells himself that writing isa game that be can play,
‘that viriters are people who spout off self-indulgent, and that he, onthe other hand, favors concison and precision, The world is
filled with oo much nonsense already, and he sees no reason o conteibute more garbage. He say to himself hat when the tie
‘comes he'll launch right into his dissertation, which should ly at that point since he'll be 50 read,
“However, if Sam thought back, he would recall tht no dissertation topic ever came to him during that time period he spent not
‘thinking about dissertation topics: He made the same arguments then that he is making now, about how ideas have tobe incubated,
about waiting patieidy until the Fiat idea comes along. about the value of getting ight upto deadlines and using them for
‘motivation. Ott offer anc anxiety he's forgoten that he Was going nowre until he commited to lshing his mind, holding a
‘ting intention, making a plan, and performing all those eter steps that fora brie moment, opened hm up to good thinking
Anne has had several god ideas come to her. From among them she's chosen one to work on. She's decided to write @ novel
about five young women who, afer araduating fom college, embark ona trip to Europe and witness a murder in Seville. Nochaving
{often a clear look at the murderer they give ther statements to the police, retam lime, and forget about the incident. They sat,
‘thet posteollege lives, each beginning an interesting job and connecting with anew boyfriend. Then ane of the five tus up
‘murdered. Has the killer followed them from Spain? It appears so. 1s he killer one of their uew boyfbinds? That also seems likely.
Anne's intention isto write a plot-drven, character-diven nove in the “four women" tradition, a mainstream, bestseller novel
‘fall of romance nd surpense, But se can‘ suite get stated. The question isnot wha these women are oe wet the plot elameats|
should be, though al ofthat i up inthe a. The problem is more amorphous and mere fundamental the tone ofthe book. Ane
Seems to be writing ether to lightly or too daly. now ene way and now the ater. Her lit writin sounds like a parody of
‘estiellee fiction, and her dark writing sounds exactly hike her ebstomary voee, which she assumes can’t be wanted in thik Sor of
book,
‘She's reminded of somthing se once read about why good writers have trouble writing forthe mass market. She fine the piece
41963 article by William Barret called "Writers and Madness,” and rereads the relevant pastage.
Ti sees afterall, impossible to write a bestseller in complete parody: one has to believe in one's material even there, and it
ooks to be impossible to fake unless one isa fake. Writing isnot so uncommitted an intellectual effort that a writer can drop down
‘acilely toa very much lower level and operate mith enough skill thereto convince that kind of reader
‘She's not sure i this the truth or a rationalization, Is se really inapable of writing bestseller ition, ori he pride justin the
‘way? Oris it that if se could believe in her material in some new way she might beable to proceed? This fels to her like an insight.
‘What exactly would this new way of believing be? Anne orients herself toward an answer to this question; she offers the answer a
Standing invitation. Tt has pennisson to come to er whether she is waking or sleeping. writin bills or doing the dishes. She really
‘vans fo Jeam about this new ay of Believing; and for he Lest time she eels oplznise about her chanves of eaching the idle of
Destiller writing
“Henry is having good time. Having peeked into the bisexuality literature, he's convinced thet nothing too interesting he been
attempted there ye Much of the psychological writing is rchashed Frendianisms about “sadomasochstic inversions." ideas that feel
shallow and biased to Hery. Tae sociologists muting on androgyay, a cousin of bisexuality, look to have an opposite ax to grind.
For them, “being both” isthe aural ay” Fe ses that each side has is agenda, the one to patologize bisexuality and the other to
‘normalize it, but tht neither is very close to understanding the reality of living, breathing bisexuals.
“The writing e ike are interviews and biogrephis, He's fascinated by interviews with gay HIV plus artists in Andrea Voucher's
_Mtuses from Ciaos and Ash ad interviews with lady sosk-and-olles in Liz Evans's Fonte, Sex, and Rock =X” Rol, Something is
‘petcoliting in his brain as Henry reads, He’s not sue if whet he's thinking abou hast do with bisexuality a all But he knows that
the fel live and engage.
“His only problem is that he has no idea what he's doing. This s nota feeling that he's tolerated very well inthe past. variably
‘he“d rush to impose a shape on his unformed thoughts, launching quickly into a sexy comedy or a violent ation drama, But his ime
‘he will himself to hang out in “don't know.” a place that feels weird, spacious, and inspiring
Digging In
‘Deep writing requires process—the creative proces, the writin process—nothing less and nothing else, Confusion on this score
‘ruins the writing lives of millions of would-be writers. They think that the deep writer gets o the monntai top by ying up, whereas ‘bulb you have the tulip.
‘But no—the bulb only has tulip potential. The actuality requires process.
“he wring proces can't be pied down Tiga you sen yeas owt a ean poem, benno eve word, A
sort suding you for tat log ipa of the proces: You might me someting excellent an then, msecouahy. fw ta Up
Shh p Cyan tr pr oft pote You se each ens ace you ae ae
Shlomo dese sve lndsnes nen epoca fir thon ogo Denar. shes ae pre pros, ou mi
‘ter shor Sit oe cy butane ayo Wal te see Eo and telntion a pat of he proses.
‘Aya ago yoy hae loved poy st yes, an ay you ayn Changing your mid ie pat othe proces
sone ou uy we aly, lke Zea ever sang az td sot you mye aS deten y aye that
It be eared or xt No oe pact eoeay Genes oe ces. ou maybe ble lough os mnie catcons, hen ae
ne eri oa and ote fryers: Geting bay tnt pat of he prose You ay ave epoch pulsing
one berue yo lous orn saa one eee en flo goa may eed ee eos tae ss ce
ftsetfcomos yon may avid wing toucmatyouove bese a ese cheng Both ga eee pat |
tie pecs
‘Wat hovorng th roses mean ith you ast hese sad dos and ta diets without too mach song
‘ou wot osanns he rose ina postive nay. You wits You seep ope mare Sou Kegan open tnd Tou ea and
Tite You sep ene wa wer anon eter whea pisces ten ot Wal You cee and brn souret ony
‘rey and you Key your eet the wring than. YOu go exp aye the eh, You digi youpallon your ting,
‘Soh gro your avr pn, nd anmese youre in te proce,
5. Befriending the Work
Wael
[Loving and betendng your work are principe second to none inthe degp wt’ if. Ashe att Helene Alon pti
“Boca te ea fen e soto, ve rao ey olen arnt seal tc one mtvaton al oon a
{oven the des ter ves om wor Ts oto aon hen Gy Se wos a roy bated Ad om 0
‘many pt Bie waderig raion sl oe oF ove.
In practic, itmay be more wel to think soot etenina Your writing tan ovng it To hace a end means to work t
ret. fou le tng en, You esd er wing ele et bliin, ge ber avice em te heya go ber
‘tains Younis her depress nd sive sport oben nae he cnn st gms ays 900 lp
er when ses orl, Tat nds, Beading you wring aps hae so of ras.
“heres wisdom in thinking of on werk a fiend ed eating tke a ste eer adversary at tit, college. To
oso eave nt proceedings, at wha Jou Youre “20 et even wih bom ae ek rae
the wor os nyt expnd “Phase dnt do tha says “Tams our aged 1s doe elp ay sae Now a all=
‘Contr your ois ead allows you to eit dnoge wth You speaking yoo desi an hing th chance 0
‘Sunes "Ve. yee know ou love tat shade ofthe, bt 'm ook abot yellow anf"
‘We do ot ne an intinat fom of “you” inthe Elis angngs and we ely need one. The work sa tu:"e aie" mot
“Je vous aime.” This addressing of your work as a “tu” is a threshold that would-be writers have a hard time crossing. It is like
‘Sosing ove fo selfacepine or sedan to aeleSve i the very eppoal of weal arcs, woe you dem of
tae worst ve yo! work wher andor ba Raters yoo comming our moe an econ sy. Te wo
‘ues your adVocaxy, kinds compossio, ad fenip. To be cven faa sbot i requ: yourlove How well do you
ie
‘Totem Hugs
‘On the way to one of my writing workshops I'll stop to piek up some small, smooth stones ftom my garden, picking up as many
stones a there are partiipants in the workshop. choose the stones earebly; they are serve a otems of friendship between the
‘writes inthe workshop and thelr work.
1d Bie you to find such a totem abject for yourself It should bea small object that fits inthe palm of your hand: moot stones
‘are excellent, but you might ty a foreign coin, a gemstooe,a clay ball you hand-form and fe yourself When you find yourself
‘blocked or in any difficulty with your work, try the following exercise. Get your teem. Frame the problem objectively fist. This
ght sound tke, "My detective is boring" or "ve digressed fo the last ten thousand words "Instead of trying to solve the problem,
speak to your work. Let it know that you and it are in his together. Always end by saying, “I love you, work.” Then squeeze your
‘oven, symbolically aiving the work ae
‘Consider the following dozen problems that arise in the course of writing and the ways that you might join with your work in
addressing them. Each time you address your work, remember fo give ita hug
1. How ean I love my work when [hate it s0 damned much?
Ton’ hate you, work. I'm just sa that you're not al tht you should be and that T haven't done an adequate job. do love you,
work”
2, How can I love my work when it fits me to work on it?
“1m not afraid of you, work. We're ftends, afer all! I'm ust aft that 'U make mistakes and disappoint myself. Ida love you,
svork
5. How can Tove my work when is gone so far asttay?
“Dear work, we do have problems! I fe! like we've wandered off the road into a ditch, Can we make it back? Ido love you,
work”
4. Hlow can Tove my work when {don"t know what in God's name to do wit it?
“Lame confused and oe, sor, but [wont lt confusion min our friendship. Well fad our way da love you, work.”
5. How can I love my work when my life isso crazy?
“The eraziness sa terrible problem, work. Bu being with you i atualya place of sanity. do love you, work.”
{6 How cat I love my wore when i eels 80 shallow and supericial?
“T've done you a disservice, work! must aot have given you what you needed. Ler’ revise or even start over. do love you,
work
7, How can I love my work when [can't even remember i?
“Tam a poor fiend, work, to have forgotten all abovt you! But [mean todo beter. do love you, work”
8. How can Tlove my work when everyone else hates i?
“Cites can't other us, work, even the aceurate ones, for no ee understands our relationship. do love you, work.”
‘9, How can I ove this worl when I should be doing some other piece? do love you, work:
10, How ean I love a work when it's lost all its momentum?
“We've slowed toa stop, you and I Lets reinite and eatch fire! Ido love you, work.”
11, How ean I foe this work when T've forgotten why Tegan it?
“Must [now why I loved you then in ordr to love you now? I don’t see why. love you here and now: 1 do love you, work*
112, How can love my work when thinking about it makes me feel depressed and defeated?
“I do get depressed, work, Thats the truth. Ido sometimes despair: But it's aot your fault, and I don't blame you. Ido lave you,
wot
Entering into fiendly relationship with our work means changing how we talk to ourselves and how we use our heart. Usually we
say things to ourselves Hike “The book isn't going well” or “Ihave no idea how to en this chapter.” We say these things with a cold
‘heat and expect that out minds will provide us with some good solution, We forget or do not understand that with our work, 3s with
‘fiiend, problems often are best met with empathy, «kind word, anda hug. A new idea may be required in order to solve a
roblem—you may have to bring your character back ftom Alaska or insert a chapter on earth between the chapters on sky and
‘water—but the process of arriving at that idea involves opening your heart as wellas engaging your mind.
‘This approach may sound loony to you, Some folks who come to my workshops do snicker and sneer atthe totem hug exercise,
“To be asked to hug smooth stones and chat with their book was not what they had in mind when they signed wp. Bur they come
‘around. The tith is undeniable: we do not fee! enough, we do not put enough heat into our writing, we are not self-fiendly enough
‘or friendly enough with our work. A little hugging is required A smooth stone clasped in your palm and squeezed to symbolize
‘hearfett connection can help. This is common sense, not Lunacy.
(Crafting Friendship
We left Amelia with about a hundred consecutive pages of ber novel writen. So fr she's spent her time following Lenny the gay
‘male nurse who did figare fn her oninal conception ofthe bok, throigh& routine morning nthe locked ward Nothing met
has happened ye. These early scenes have been primarily descriptive and consist of whole pages that investigate the quality of light
filtering through berred windows, the texture ofthe plastered walls, the look of a woman doing a drus-indoced shu
"According to Ameli's pet outline, Lenny is supposed to witness he brutal rape of the mad woman of the locked ward. But this
just doesn't fee igh to het IL isn't the story she intended to tel, While the rape svene will surely be filed wit sreums, they area
‘he sereams Amelia heard when the book fist came to het, On the other hand, she wonders she's supposed to g0 ahead and write
scenes lke these anyoray even when they don't feel ht, Maybe this isthe way frst novels have to go. Even i tis, se can‘ make
dersef continue.
Stuck, she comes upon the totem hug exercise. The idea of beftendng the work interests her, and she realizes that she doesnt
‘eo tall riendly toward this novel. She dacides to try the exercise. The ight totem eludes er as ae looks around her apartment,
‘but the mention of smooth stones makes her think ofa river upstate and how much sie would lve to get out of the city. In the st,
‘hen fecling blocked o confronted by a deadline, she has often fled tothe country. This time she has a different idea: not to flee but
{obettend her work by taking it on a “working Vacation" Something about the phrase “working Vacation” resonates for he. She
packs up het novein-progress and heads forthe county.
“As she drives upto the river she's floded with ideas, Several ies shes to pall aver to write down her thoughts. She soes that
she i thinking about something new. something diferent, although she can’t quite make out what this new book is about She sees
sunshine, aot te shadows of locked wards, Sonicone is anorexic, There's a scene were athin woman cooks «big meal and
‘demands that everyone eat, while she herself pashes her food around on the pate Theres another scene in which this same woman,
{eas copy of Glamour to shreds. Al thishas nothing to do with the madhouse novel, at least notin any way she can fathom.
\Whea she gets tothe river she finds an evocative bend and parks along the shoulder of the road. She takes ou her pad and the
‘pages ofthe noel she's wniten so far. evea though carving them makes her fee self-conscious, and climbs down tothe bank. She
{tig to sit and write, Dut se finds that she's got too much going on inside of er. She has to get up and take a brisk walk. Se kmows
that t's on the verge of somthing: maybe isthe madhouse novel reshaping iself, of maybe i's something entirely different.
‘Whatever i is, is building up and getting ready to burs forth.
“Then, just ike that, a new plot, neve characters, and a new setting come to het. She sits down and writes. this new nove, wo
young fashion magazine editors—Cara, the protagonist, and her rival and lover, who has no name yet— inflict pain on each other as
{hey compete atthe magazine and in lif. The editor with no name finally cracks, «treskdown that Carla precipitates. Carla visits het
loverat te hospital and they seream togcther. like wild animals howling inarief. The tile of the novel comes to Amelia: Ezashell,
‘White. Tht turas eu to be the color of the asylum’s common room, and it also has something to do with the way that such women
sometimes break.
Amelia Joves the sereaming scene. Thinking about it sends chills up and down her spine, She wants to write that seene, to hear
‘carla and her lover scream together. The novel's opening paragraph comes to her
“The thinnest women inthe world worked at Beautiful Gis, the magazine for women who called themselves girs. But Carla was
‘even thianer, even tlle, even paler than they, which made her arival that Tuesday moming a beath-aicher. BY noon she'd received
hala dozen invitations for hich ftom assistant editor like herself who Wanted to see how she handled not eating in public, Would
she onder big and mave her food around? Would she order small? These Were the things about Caria that one needed to know, The
‘consensts Was that she'd drink her lunch and not even bother pretending to ex.
"Amelia reread the paragaph at bas the eute fling that she's onto someting, This willbe a book: about rvalty at, ove,
pain, and fear —all the things she always knew i would be about. Nov she has the scting, the characters, the story, te tension,
‘everything Siting by the ever she writes quickly as if taking dilation. She understands where she is going and how she will get
‘there. She has managed to avoid spending a year or two writing the Wrong novel, and this lucky break eame about because she
beftiended the work. Ste rook her work on Vacation, as opposed to taking a vacation ftom her Work.
\Whea we let Marjorie, se, too, had blocked, She'd started outwith enthusiasm and freedom, writing ne vitriolic mother-
daughter scene after anot, but then she'd begun microscopically revising those scenes instead of plunging ahead. Now. rather than
‘honoring the process aad entering into righ relationship Wala her Work, she's fallen into a depresion, wich she tiesto lesen by
‘aking an occasional mystery-riing workshop, But she can see tat she's in despair and that she's taking her despair out on
‘everyone around her.
“Then she as abt of hick. She lear ofa writing group made up of four women and decies to vist tHe hick is threefold that
she's written enovgh on this novel hat she fels entitled o join a group, that se is open-minded enough to make use ofa writing
[aroup, aad, okies ofall tht ite a a0od group, loving, tough, and fespactl itis mad ap of waiters who intend to write and
‘Publish and who arent using the group as therapy, a socal clu, or a place for hanc-o-hand paychological combat.
Actually, Marjrie's luck is fourfold: se is lucky thatthe group decides o admit her. Her first night isan audition that she akmost
‘bungles, She gets efftoa goed start by bringing a portion of her novel and agreing o ead rom it, Bu then, a8 she's about o begin,
she n't stop herself from apologizing for what she's written. One ofthe women gently iforms Marjorie ofa aroup rule: they don’t
‘pfore or after reading, Intellectually, Marjorie understands the vale of uci a rule, but she finds i unbearably hard not to
‘apologize. Infact, when she's done reading she blurs outa second apology. Someone reminds er of the rule
isn't her apologizing, though, that tneaten her group mensbership—i'sthe way she responds to wha the otter women read,
Despite he intuition that she should tone down her abrasive criticality, she doesn't. She says te fist piece is awfully well writen
‘but “oo complicated and obscure,” She says the secon piece fele overly simple and marketplace-diven. Her comments are
intelligent and defensible but also unfriendly. Marjorie secs that these women, reacting to her “feedback.” are not happy. All of a een ee nee tee ee et ee eee ee eee ee eee ee ter pe tee Dottie mane Bon pen
lease give me anater chance!” After along silence one oF the Women rplis, “Just ty to be on our side alte more. Remember
‘how hard te fra f as." All of sudden Marjorie ses that befiznding one’s work i not the same as “being easy”on it She has
‘an epiphany. When the last person reads and it's Marjorie’s tum to espond, ste breaks down and eres alte. She docs know
‘what to say- Al! se can think of i, “Thank you." Tha "thank you" gets her an invitation to join the group.
‘By the fith or sath meeting she can sense that her attude toward her novel has changed, Now its her intention o like it and
‘help trator than hate it nd ll. She consciously works on stopping herself from calling it mes, reprosching giving ita
‘meatal licking. When she's asked how the novel's going, she sil has tribe trouble not crying out, “Tus rtten!™ But these days
‘that she manages to say is Is progresing nicely” a phrase with magic tot
‘A month later she finds that she's stopped thing of hee book asa "ny lite secre.” She tells her husband and then her mother
‘abou it Hor husband's reaction is positive, and her mother’s reaction is negative, but she takes them both in stride. instead of
‘snmoring herself with false pride, she begins to ake gentine pride inthe work, especially oa thore days when she likes wt she's
‘written, Such days come more oflen Her mantras become “Forward” and “No revising” and "What happens next?” Soate nights
she dceams about the book; some mornings she wakes up and starts right in writing. She's wanted to spend more time with her
mystery than with any fend,
‘Sem has goten some help. With one deadline past and an extended date looming, Sam approached one of his commitee members
and asked him fora second extension, The professor agreed but suguested that Sam get outside hep fom a constant.
Ia his first session withthe consultant Sam is helped to see that he needs to choose between his frst, dep idea, the emotional
support of employees, and his second, strategic idea. In order to choose he need to reexamine his first idea with energy and
‘enthusiasm. Sam is advised to spend the nextday generating a list of dissertation topics related to the idea of employees and
‘emotional support and to determine the pros and cons ofeach opi: which would be the hardest, which the easiest which the most
imteesting. which the least interesting, which more fevored by his commitee mentbers, which less favored, and 50 on.
“The consultant asks Sam to fax him thelist of evaluated topics. Nothing comes for four days, On the fh day a trie fx appesrs,
‘explaining that the ist is not quite ready. Four days late, at midnight, the consultant gets the faxed ls. He reviews it and calls Sam
‘up the next morning. One ofthe consultants goals isto model the decision-making proces for Sam, Toward that ead, he sys, “Lote
‘ofthese look good, tI think the fst one isthe richest, the Tour isthe easiest, an the sith i the one mast likely to be accepted.
‘What do you think?"
“Aer a long pause Sam replies, “That sounds about right.”
“Then think abour what ve just said and choose a topic by our next meeting, All ight?”
“choose?” Sam says, “But how?”
Ssusty”
Atte ext meeting, the consultant and Sam have the following conversation,
‘Well, congeetlations! You've choren thie one? ‘OF the many compouens that constitute emotional support for employees,
‘expos isthe most importat one, Those organizations that provide a culture of respect wil sce tangible bottomline results and
intangible workplace benefits.”
“tthink so, Maybe.”
“All ight. Next you nosd to get fall proposal eedy to show your committes. How long wil that take?”
“tout know."
“What are the tasks? Enumerate them for me.”
“need to atculte the hypothesie—orasn't that done already?”
oT gues so. 14 like to fine-tune it"
“1m not sue what you mean by ‘fine-tune it? Give mean example,”
“Ton know. I'm choosing “respect to examine, but maybe should go with something thats more easily observed or that can
be operationally defined more easly—was
“So when you sey “ine‘tune it” you actually mean ‘change it for one reason or another?”
st guess 9."
“or what reasons?”
“dont know. To make it clearer? More doable?
“But we've agreed that it seems strong right now?"
“yes”
“Then you have tobe careful about trying to perfect this. Liking i is more important than perfecting it. Do you like i?”
“What an idea! No, maybe I actually do [think we haven't ven ‘espest”its due at all.”
“Then get behind it, ean advocate for this hypothesis!”
‘Over the course of some weeks and several “ough love” meetings with the consultant, Sam begin o realize tat inorder o rite
{his dissertation he will have to not only make decisions but also, just as important, eftind his hypothesis, He sees that he is
‘canionting something in himself that he's called indecisiveness inthe past ha that has more tod with loving the work he's
‘undertaking and loving himself better. The consultan's idea of advocating forthe hypothesis because it's worthy and likable has
struck a chord and helps Sam move forward.
‘Anne has remained open tothe ia thet if she an get herself in right relationship to the book she's about to wate, she'll be able
tovnteit, But what right relationship actually means Keeps eluding het. Thea, one Saturday moming while doing the dishes, she has
‘the oddest realization. She suddenly realizes that “oy” is par of “enjoy” From that linguistic observation she segues to the idea of
‘a wontan enjoying herself” she ses his young women fn her mind's eye, @ woman ful of life who is about ro embark on a
‘exciting adventure, What adventure? The answer comes to her in an instant.
“The young woman characteris an independent filmmaker named Celeste whose award-winning work has come tthe attention of
famous director. He invites her to participate inthe making of his next film as an equal eollaborater. Anne goes tothe computer and
‘writes the opening twelve pages ofthis book which, just like tht, she calls Shooting Star. When she reads what she’s writen, she
$005 that ts perfect bestseller Fetion. How odd! The main character is ively, spunky, beautiful, and engaging. She i some sort of
[dalization, but she is also very human.
Anne sees that what she i doing is beftiending this young weman, whom she flat-out likes. She i looking forward tothe erses|
‘and adventures that are about come Celese's way, that are bound to come her way because of the situations into which Ane Wil
‘drop her. Anne might have written a eynical novel about Hollywood, astiricl novel about publicity and the media, or something
‘ark and moody set in the Los Angeles canyons, and such a book would have felt quite congenial to write. But this Work, to, feels
‘congenial, because i's connected to an exuberance and pasion that also reside in Anne's heart
‘Celeste is going to “make i," whatever that means in the context of this novel, The prospect of a happy ending is aeady making
‘Anne happy. Ana lets go of her aovel about the five women who travel fo Italy and witness a murder, «novel tt ad never really
poten started, and turns her attention to Celeste, wo fel ike a dear fiend already.
‘Henry has been enjoying himself, reading widely, aking notes, and musing about what he's reading He fels at once on vacation,
‘and as intellectually stimulated ashe ever felt It doesn’t mater to him whether he concludes that bisexuality sa sickness ot a
‘naar difference, sin ora genetic predisposition les loving geting an edcation. Everything he reads, ven material he het, he
loves, because tis all contributing to this education. Thea one moming he writes the following
‘Why am I bsexval? 1 don"t think F'm going to lear the answer, That surprises me.I thought that'd be able to solve this idle if
1 did enough reading. Now I don’t think so. The place where “sexual orientation” resides feels so deep that it may be inaccessible. If cae ee sees eee ese ee C/I EIS
‘But I don’t want to be prevented from investigating this question bythe fact that it's answerable. So. maybe ll write a
‘memoir, but an odd memoir. a tuthfal recounting of my experiences, bt interlaced with some good thinking about the abstract
ideas ve been examining. I want to write something honest about my’ fe, about the pain I've caused and why Teauses about
‘how loving men means something different ftom loving women and what those differences ae about. But I'd like tote that fo other
‘thing, to depression, ania, compulsions, obaesions.A nie lite task: But that's wat fel lie doing
‘This morning. Henry feels ready to revea! himself and ready to beftiend not so much the work as life itself,
(On the Road to Loving
amy creativity consulting practice I wos with cians on all aspects ofthe crestive lift locks, performance anxiety, depression,
addictions, carer choices, markeiplace interaction, and soon. But the Hoa’s share ofthe work always has to do with improving @
