Human Development 484 B

Reflective Study: Diversity Analysis Paper

November 10, 2016

childhood and the other will be from adulthood, both will be on the topic of diversity. I will

analyze how race, culture, biases and privilege have to do with diversity. I will also discuss how

the patterns result from these life experiences.

For first generation children finding out who they are, and where we they came from, or

how they are different, and how they are alike is part of the journey. This can be difficult to do

because often undocumented families are separated. I learned that this separation causes feelings

of sadness and yearning for connection. I learned that when a child is with family and in their

families home country there can be feelings of joy, belonging and love. I learned that a child who

is forced to think about citizenship and lack of citizenship can develop feelings of fear of losing a

parent. I also learned that children who are raised knowing their parents immigration status can

begin to understand concepts of privilege and oppression and develop the idea of how being born

in this country and being able to speak English can put you in a position of privilege.

When an adult has experienced institutionalized racism it can cause distrust of white

people causing them to develop a bias or stereotype towards that group of people. Very often the

distrust can resurface and cause for a person to be unable to distinguish the personal from

political. I learned that when an adult develops these biases that the feelings of happiness and

love that are natural to our human experience, can be replaced by fear and cause for people to

feel rejection and hate. When adults identify their own biases it is possible to eliminate the

hurtful emotions and divorce from their own deeply held assumptions and move back towards

feelings of love.

I will analyze the effects on human development by examining the social and emotional

effects that poverty and racism have on children raised first generation to immigrant parents and
how biases and stereotypes can affect our relationships with individuals. I will examine the

effects of being Mexican in the United States where English is the dominant language. I will

discuss the effects of being privileged, oppressed, and developing biases due to racial and

cultural factors. The key issues and patterns in my life that my developmental theory addresses

are the effects on my self-identity, fear of loss, separation and mistrust in other races.

The behavioral patterns began to emerge when I crossed the border with my mother. I

developed fear and mistrust towards government officials and not only but especially white

people. The officers that were checking our ID and passports that day were two white males.

After that experience these patterns and feelings awoke from the threat of losing my mother and

having her taken by these white males. As a child it was hard for me to make a distinction

between immigration officers and enforcement and police or other government workers, so my

belief was that anyone in a position of power who was white could deport my mother.

The pattern of isolation was already a feeling that we had in our native country because

we were Indios and my families first language was not Spanish but rather Zapotec. Because of

poverty my grandparents were forced to leave our Zapotec community and migrate to Mexico

City where they found opportunity to work and provide food, shelter and education for our

family. My mother and family faced racism in their country and failed to find enough economic

opportunity in Mexico City so my mother like her parents, left her home and took a leap of hope

like so many people do, when they decide to cross the border illegally into the United States.

When my mother and I crossed the border I had so much fear but I think sadness over

powered any emotion. This experience brought up feelings of loss in me. I was forced to say

good bye to my family and was not given a date of when I would get to see them again. It was

hard to say good bye to my sisters, extended family and native country. I had experience feelings
of belonging, and I wanted to bring my family with me but couldnt because of immigration laws

that made it difficult for my family to get visas. As we crossed the border it became clear to me

that this was not a very good option for my family.

I was hurt from my loss and became scared of ICE (immigration custom enforcement),

and began to believe that all white people hated us and wanted us out of this country. My view of

this country and white people began to cause me to develop negative feelings and attitudes. It

was because of this experience that early on I began to understand my culture and race and how

this impacted our environment and the lack of access in this country.

I refused to identify with anything considered American or White. Out of fear that

the assimilation would allow for the death of my culture and identity. Because I had developed a

distrust towards government, my resistance grew and I began to seek ways to fight my fear. I

saw institutions as oppressive and believed there were people that benefited from our oppression.

I began to create a distance from white people and began to organize with only people of color.

When I met Jonathan, I realized that I had assumed that because this system targeted poor

people of color that white people benefited from it. It was important for me to notice that

someone like Jonathan who was raised white, middle class, straight and Christian could still get

hurt by the same system. That racism impacted white people differently but did not spare them

from hurting. It made me hopeful that we could work together and be close to different kinds of

people regardless of their upbringing and differences.

I believe my experience crossing the border helped me understand that people like my

mother take a large risk entering this country because they are looking for an opportunity to

better their living conditions. It made me become an advocate and ally for my Raza. I still find
myself translating, filling out paper work or just listening to my peoples experience. It made me

have deep love towards those seeking to better themselves and help their families.

My relationship with Jonathan made me realize that I needed to work on my early

experiences with racism, in order to allow for the new people in my life who have come with

their with own patterns to still be close to me. I now have close friendships with white people

and have been married to Jonathan for 13 years.

I have learned to move past seeing this as a personal issue and moved into being more

politically active and open to all races working towards fighting for immigrant rights, against

racism and classism and towards a more compassionate world. I worked in community

organization that were made up of people with different racial and class backgrounds. I

witnessed white peoples commitment and dedication to making sure that poor people of color

had space to lead and fight for themselves. I appreciated working with different people and

seeing how we all benefit from creating safe and loving spaces that reflect the kind of world I

want.

I began to fight my patterns of isolation by developing close relationships with people

who were marginalized, poor people, people of color, LGBTQ people, undocumented people and

native people. Many years of therapy along with becoming a mother gave the opportunity to

open up to white people and form friendships. I now have very loving and connected

relationships with many white people.

I believe my theory can speak to a particular group of people of Mexican-American

decent who have struggled between U.S. and Mexican cultures and struggled for defining their

identity. It speaks to Chicanos who continue to be ostracized by mainstream American culture

for failing to conform to "white" paradigms of being. For those who struggle to overcome
imposed conceptual boundaries and fight to validate their own unique sense of culture, race, and

class.

Some assumptions I made in my theory are that people of color who experience racism in

the United States develop patterns of isolation and while some do, it is also possible that not

fitting in can cause for the individual to focus on high academic and social engagement in an

attempt to fit in. I also assumed that first generation children develop low self-esteem, for

some first generation children witnessing their parents immigrating to the U.S can me a model of

overcoming adversity which can develop a healthy self-esteem.

In writing and analyzing my personal theories I could of have been more inclusive of

different cultures, race and gender identity. While it is true that Mexicans comprise a large

percent of undocumented immigrants living in the U.S they are not the only ones. Additionally, I

failed to include that because of Spanish imperialism Mexicans can and do identify as white or

indigenous this changes the experience one might have in the United States. If the person also

identified outside the gender norms, then the experience might be different as well.

Family plays an important role in the structure of Chicanas however social and political

impact is important in the formation of a Chicanas life too. For first generation children of

Mexican born parents learning the dominant culture is a matter of survival, and while there are

privileges of being born in United States such as access to leaving and entering the country there

is also an early knowledge of the dual standards of justice, pay, and education.