Teaching Students with Severe Emotional and

Behavioral Disorders:

BEST PRACTICES
GUIDE TO INTERVENTION
From Firwood & Oak Grove Schools

A Connecting IDEAS Project

funded by the Office of
Superintendent of Public
Instruction, State of
Washington
A joint venture with the
Clover Park School District,
Child Study and Treatment
Center, and Seattle
University School of
Education

Copyright 2005

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Running head: TEACHING STUDENTS WITH SEVERE EBD

Teaching Students with Severe Emotional and Behavioral Disorders:
Best Practices Guide to Intervention

Clover Park School District Writing Team

Bill Christensen
Mary Jaeger
Rick Lorenz
Shirley Morton
LuAnn Neuman
Eileen Rieke
Betty Simpson
Carolyn Watkins
Seattle University Editors
Steven Curtis
Holly Galbreath
Jane Curtis
Project Coordinator, Seattle University
Larry Matsuda

A Connecting IDEAS Project funded by the

Office of Superintendent of Public Instruction, State of Washington
A joint venture with the Clover Park School District,
Child Study and Treatment Center
and Seattle University School of Education
Copyright January 2005

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Table of Contents
Preface ...................................................................................... vi
Part I: Overview of Teaching Students with Severe EBD
Introduction .................................................................................1
Definition and Prevalence of EBD ...............................................1
mk:@MSITStore:C:\Program Files\Microsoft
Shortage of Skilled Teachers .....................................................2
Office\Office10\1033\[Link]::/html/wdconOverviewOfCreatingTableOfContent
[Link]
Causes of Misbehavior .....................................................................3
Proactive Interventions ....................................................................5
Positive Behavior Support .................................................................6
Comprehensive Classroom Management ................................................7
Re-Education ................................................................................7
Key Elements of an Effective Re-Education....................................9
Individualized Behavior Intervention Plans ........................................... 10
Functional Behavioral Assessment ............................................. 11
Behavior Intervention Plans .................................................... 12

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Part II: Specific Interventions for Common Problem Behaviors

Explanation of Section ................................................................... 14
Desired Behavior

Behaviors of Concern

Appropriate Self-Expression

Swearing
Teacher
Parents
Students

Following Directions

15
17
20

Noncompliance
Teacher
Parents
Students

Honesty

21
23
25

Lying
Teacher
Parents
Students

Maintaining Boundaries

26
28
31

Touching Inappropriately
Teacher
Parents
Students

Recovering from Upsetting Event

33
36
39

Negative Attitude
Teacher
Parents
Students

Respecting Property

41
44
49

Property Destruction
Teacher
Parents
Students

iv

50
53
55

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Safety

Hitting/Biting/Kicking
Teacher
Parents
Students

Satisfying Interactions

56
59
63

Power Struggles
Teacher
Parents
Students

Staying in Designated Area

65
67
69

Leaving Area
Teacher
Parents
Students

Waiting to Talk

71
75
77

Talk-Outs
Teacher
Parents
Students

79
81
83

References ................................................................................. 84

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Preface

This best practices guide is written for general and special education
teachers who work with students that demonstrate severe emotional and
behavioral disorders in the classroom. As will be described later, students in
todays classroom are demonstrating challenging behaviors that are more frequent
and intensive than in previous years. Teachers complain about not having the
knowledge base, skills, or confidence to teach these students. In addition, there is
a severe shortage of teachers trained in this area. This shortage of teachers is also
coupled with a high burn-out rate among existing teachers, since students with
emotional and behavioral disorders are especially challenging to teach.
Our goal in writing this manual is to provide current and future teachers with
information regarding effective practices for working with students that are
demonstrating emotional and behavioral disorders in the classroom. We hope that
the knowledge presented will help teachers feel more confident in working with
these students and help teachers be more effective in their practices. This will
result in more students with emotional and behavioral disorders receiving the help
they need.
Resource Guide Structure
Part I of this guide gives an overview of best practices for teaching students
with emotional and behavioral disorders. This overview begins with a discussion of
issues and causal factors relating to students with emotional and behavior
disorders. Selected proactive interventions are then described, followed by a
discussion of individualized behavioral programming.
Part II of this guide presents 10 common problem behaviors that our
contributing teachers have faced. Suggested techniques for successful intervention
are then provided in detail. These chosen problem areas are those that practicing
teachers at Oak Grove Elementary and Firwood Secondary Schools (see below)
designated as the most important issues they feel teachers face today in their daily
interactions with students with emotional and behavioral disorders. The
interventions listed are from the voice of the teachers, as the interventions are
designed by teachers themselves. The guide ends with an extensive reference list,
which can be a valuable resource for those looking for additional information.
Development
This best practices manual is a result of work funded by a Special Education
Improvement Grant awarded in 2002 by the Office of the Superintendent of Public
Instruction in the State of Washington. The grant provided funding to establish a
training site for the teaching of students with behavior disorders and to form a best
practices design team in order to develop a best practices guide for classroom
teachers.

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The two partner organizations in the grant were the School of Education at
Seattle University and the Oak Grove Elementary and Firwood Secondary Schools of
the Clover Park School District. The elementary and secondary schools are located
on the grounds of the Child Study and Treatment Center (CSTC) in Lakewood,
Washington. The Child Study and Treatment Center (CSTC) is Washingtons longterm care facility for children and adolescents presenting with significant
emotional and behavioral disorders. Youth involved with CSTC have a history of
exhibiting severe emotional and behavioral issues that have not been well-managed
in less restrictive environments.

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Seattle University is one of the Northwests largest independent institutions

of higher education. The School of Education at Seattle University offers numerous
graduate level programs, including master in teaching (MIT), counseling, school
psychology, literacy for special needs, and special education. One focus of the
Special Education Graduate Program at Seattle University is to train teachers to
work with K-12 students in special education who demonstrate significantly
challenging behaviors.
Throughout the 2002-2003 academic year, six 2-hour workshops were
conducted with the best practices design team. During these workshops,
contributors met, brainstormed, and wrote about current issues teachers face in
regard to problem behavior and effective ways to intervene. These brainstorming
sessions captured actual knowledge gained from the hands-on experience of
teachers and faculty members who have been in the field for many years. The
knowledge captured in the brainstorming sessions was organized and formatted to
fit this manual. Theoretical underpinnings were added to enhance the
recommendations even further. During the 2003-2004 school year, the content of
this manual was further refined and edited.
Contributors
The contributors to this guide include school professionals from the Oak
Grove Elementary and Firwood Secondary Schools and faculty from the School of
Education at Seattle University. Each of the school professionals contributing to
this manual have more than 20 years experience in this field; thus, the
recommendations provided are the result of tried and true practices. University
faculty involved in this project have many years of hands-on experience in
working with youth in need, as well as having the research knowledge to help guide
practice. Thus, the advice given in this manual comes from school professionals and
faculty members who have seen it all.

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Acknowledgements
We would like to thank the following school professionals for their
contributions to the resource guide through the brainstorming and writing sessions:
Bill Christensen, Mary Jaeger, Rick Lorenz, Eileen Rieke, Shirley Morton, LuAnn
Neuman, and Betty Simpson. These educators spent much time and effort in the
identification of common problem behaviors and the development of descriptions
of previously successful interventions.
We would also like to thank the Seattle University School of Education Dean
Sue Schmitt and Principal Carolyn Watkins for their wonderful support and
leadership.
We hope you find this resource guide helpful.
Steve Curtis, Ph.D., Holly Galbreath, Ph.D., Jane Curtis, Ph.D. (Editors)
Larry Matsuda, Ph.D. (Project Coordinator)

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Teaching Students with Severe Emotional and Behavioral Disorders:

Best Practices Guide to Intervention
Introduction
Talk to any teacher about students in todays classrooms. These teachers
would most likely state there are at least one or two students in their classrooms
who are exhibiting especially challenging behavior. Having students with
challenging behavior in the classroom is an age-old phenomenon, but it is no secret
that students in todays classrooms are exhibiting emotional and behavioral
difficulties that are far more numerous and intensive than in previous years
(Walker, Zeller, Close, Webber, & Gresham, 1999). In addition, concerns about
student behavior in schools have escalated during recent years, most likely due to
school shootings, such as the tragic incidents at Columbine (U.S. Department of
Health and Human Services, 2001). In a 2003 Gallup Poll, the public listed lack of
discipline second only to lack of financial support as the biggest problems the
schools face today (Rose & Gallup, 2003).
Definition and Prevalence of EBD
But are these concerns justified? How many students demonstrate
challenging behavior in the classroom? Determining the number of students with
emotional and behavioral disorders (EBD)1 is dependent on the definition used
(Kauffman, 2001). Definitions are subject to teacher perception, preparation,
experience, cultural values, and other factors. To one teacher, a student may be
seen as very challenging, but to another teacher the same student will be seen as
only slightly challenging.
Two commonly used definitions of EBD come from the Diagnostic and
Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV (DSM-IV) (American Psychiatric
Association, 2000) and the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). The
DSM-IV is used primarily in mental health, psychiatric, and other clinical settings to
diagnose troubling emotional and behavioral conditions. Definitions in the DSM-IV
are also used for research purposes in order to have a consistent terminology used
across researchers. Based on criteria from the DSM-IV, 15 to 20% of the entire
student population is said to have a clinically significant emotional and/or
behavioral disorder at any one time (Costello & Angold, 1995; Shaffer et al., 1996).
These disorders include all types of emotional and behavioral disorders, including
internalized disorders (e.g., Generalized Anxiety, Major Depressive Disorder,
Bipolar Disorder) and externalized disorders (e.g., Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity
Disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder).
_________________________
1
In this resource guide, the term emotional and behavioral disorder (EBD) will be
used to include all students with emotional and behavior disorders, including, but
not exclusively, those students formally identified as needing special education.

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The definition of EBD used in the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act
(IDEA) is used almost exclusively in school settings, primarily within the field of
special education. The IDEA definition of EBD is much less inclusive than the DSMIV. Using the criteria from the IDEA, about 2% of the student population would
meet the criteria for EBD (Kauffman, 2001). Students included within this 2% are
primarily those students who have trouble following directions, are oppositional,
and who become aggressive toward others. Within the special education system,
about 1% of the total student population is identified as having an emotional
and/or behavioral disorder and is in need of specialized services (U.S. Department
of Education, 2002).
As noted above, within each school, there is likely to be a substantial
percentage of children/adolescents with significant mental health issues. A much
smaller percentage will demonstrate challenging behavior that requires special
education services. Based on the numbers above, it appears that only a small
percentage of students with EBD actually receive formalized special education
services. The remainder of the students with mental health issues is educated in
the general education system under the primary responsibility of the general
education classroom teacher.
Despite the push for inclusion in the 1990s, students formally identified with
EBD still spend a significant amount of school time outside the general education
setting. During the 2000-2001 school year, 32% of students identified as EBD spent
over 60% of their educational experience in settings outside the general classroom.
An additional 23% of these students spent between 21 to 60% of their school day
outside the general classroom setting. Eighteen percent of students with EBD
received their education in settings outside the mainstream setting, such as private
treatment programs (U.S. Department of Education, 2002).
Shortage of Skilled Teachers
General and special educators carry much of the initial responsibility for
providing meaningful education to students with EBD. However, these educators
often report lacking the knowledge, confidence, and/or skill to provide effective
programming for these students. For example, George and her colleagues (George,
George, Gersten, & Grosnick, 1995) reported that two-thirds of teachers of
students with EBD indicated their college programs provided poor preparation for
working with this student population. Educators also frequently express frustration
over the requirements and demands associated with serving students with EBD.
Disruptive behavior exhibited by these students takes much teacher time and even
more time when teachers do not have the knowledge base, practiced skills, or
confidence in working with these challenging students.
Students with EBD also evoke feelings of fear, resentment, and anger in
many adults (Jones, Dohrn, & Dunn, 2004). Lack of knowledge, skill, experience,
and confidence to effectively intervene, coupled with fear of the student, leads to
teachers not being able to effectively work with these students. School disruption

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and violence have been of much concern to teachers and others, but apparently
instances of youth violence have actually decreased in the State of Washington
over the past several years (Warnick, 2003). Even with this reduction in violence, it
is our experience that teachers still struggle with students demonstrating
challenging behavior in their classrooms and often feel frustrated. They will resort
to more punitive measures in reaction to these difficult behaviors rather than
design a more proactive therapeutic intervention.
Currently, there is a serious shortage of qualified special education teachers
to work with students with EBD (American Association for Employment in
Education, 2000). Working with students with EBD is often viewed as the most
demanding and complex of all areas of special education. Special education
teachers who are in the field and who work with students identified as having EBD
have the highest reported attrition rates among special education teachers (Singh
& Billingsley, 1996).
We clearly need an increase in well-trained general and special education
teachers to work with these students in need. We believe that the techniques are
available to help these children/adolescents, but that many school professionals
have not had adequate training and lack the resources to obtain these skills.
Without teachers with sufficient training, students with EBD are at risk for being
placed in unnecessarily restrictive settings, when they could be served effectively
in more mainstream settings if they had adequate support.
Causes of Misbehavior
Understanding the developmental factors associated with challenging
behavior greatly helps intervention efforts with these youth. Any demonstrated
behavior, positive or negative, is a very complex phenomenon. It is difficult to
understand why someone performs even simple behaviors, let alone why someone
engages in more complex emotional and behavioral difficulties. Insight into some of
the possible causes of EBD helps to increase understanding of a particular student
and helps to increase the likelihood that planned interventions will be effective.
Over the ages, a variety of theoretical paradigms have been developed to
explain why youth engage in certain behaviors. Examples of these paradigms
include (a) the psychoanalytic model (Freud, 1946), which proposes that
pathological development is primarily due to unresolved psychological conflicts; (b)
behaviorism/social learning theory, which suggests that behavioral difficulties are
primarily due to the effects of the environment (Watson, 1913; Skinner, 1953); and
(c) the biological model, which proposes that emotional and behavioral disorders
are primarily due to constitutional factors. As scientific knowledge has progressed,
researchers have come to conclude that emotional and behavioral disorders are
much more complex than that explained by any single model alone. We cannot
attribute a particular difficulty solely to biology, the environment, or the family.
Most often difficulties are an ongoing dynamic between biological, dispositional,

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environmental, sociocultural, and other factors.

A perspective that is rapidly becoming dominant in the study of youth with
EBD is the perspective best known as developmental psychopathology. According to
Wicks-Nelson and Israel (2003), Developmental psychopathology is a general
framework for understanding disordered behavior in relation to normal
development. It acts as a way of integrating multiple perspectives or theories
around a core of developmental issues and questions. (p.22). The developmental
psychopathological perspective states that emotional and behavioral difficulties are
most often the result of a complex interplay of multiple factors. Thus, there are
multiple causes of behavior. The developmental psychopathology model assists
teachers who work with students with EBD in understanding the interaction
between the students history, current environments, behavior styles, and the
interventions used to assist the student in developing more functional behaviors
(Jones, et al., 2004). This model helps teachers steer away from simplistic
explanations of challenging behavior and instead focus more on the developmental
pathways that led up to the challenging behavior in the first place.
Within this model, one avenue of inquiry that helps to understand the
development of EBD is to examine the risk and resilience factors. Risk factors are
variables that increase the likelihood of future behavioral difficulties. Resilience
factors are those that decrease the likelihood of emotional and behavioral
difficulties developing in the face of adversity. Coie, Miller-Johnson, & Bagwell
(2000) have categorized developmental risk factors into the following categories:
(a) constitutional factors (e.g., hereditary influences, prenatal/birth
complications); (b) family factors (e.g., poverty, abuse, conflict); (c) emotional
and interpersonal factors (e.g., low self-esteem, difficult temperament, peer
rejection); (d) intellectual and academic factors (e.g., below average intelligence,
learning disability); (e) ecological factors (e.g., neighborhood disorganization,
racial injustice); and (d) non-normative stressful life events (e.g., early death of a
parent, outbreak of war, other traumatic events).
Examples of resilience factors include (a) good intellectual functioning, (b)
easygoing disposition, (c) a close relationship with a caring parent figure, (d)
authoritative parenting (i.e., warm, structured, and having high expectations), and
(e) bonds to prosocial adults outside the family (Masten & Coatsworth, 1998). Youth
with many of the above risk factors are more prone to emotional and behavioral
disorders. However, when youth have a number of resilience factors, the risk of
developing EBD decreases. Thus, when working with youth, it is important to assess
what risk and/or resilience factors are present in their lives.
There are certain disorders that have specific causes, such as Fetal Alcohol
Syndrome, which is associated with excessive alcohol intake at critical periods of
prenatal development (Clarren, 1978). However, in the vast majority of cases, no
single cause of an emotional or behavioral disorder will be found. Possible causal
factors are numerous, and it is beyond the scope of this guide to discuss all of

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these factors. For more discussion in this area, see works completed by WicksNelson & Israel (2003), Kauffman (2001), and Lewis (2002).
To address the multiple causes of emotional and behavioral difficulties in
youth with EBD, it is essential to use a multidisciplinary approach, such as that
used in the programs at the Oak Grove Elementary School, Firwood Secondary
School, and the Child Study and Treatment Center. These programs involve a
variety of professionals, including (a) special education teachers, (b) psychologists,
(c) psychiatrists, (d) social workers, (e) psychiatric childcare counselors, (f) nurses,
and (g) recreation therapists. They are also based on multiple theoretical
paradigms. This multidisciplinary effort allows professionals to draw from multiple
theoretical paradigms, which encourages the conceptualization of problems from
multiple angles. At times, certain behaviors of concern may be simple to explain.
At other times, a youths challenging behavior may be more complex. When
working with youth who display complex and challenging behavior, it is extremely
helpful to have input from a diverse group of professionals in order to explain the
behavior in question.
Proactive Interventions
There are too many situations in which programs for students with EBD
actually replicate and exacerbate the etiological factors that were central to the
development of the condition. Studies of programs for students with EBD indicate
that these programs frequently emphasize control and exclusion rather than
effective prevention and intervention (Knitzer, Steinberg, & Fleisch, 1990).
Kaufman (2001) notes that professionals can identify and implement classroom
conditions that make behavioral difficulties less likely to occur. It is essential that
those who work with students with EBD create therapeutic learning environments
that help students understand and overcome, rather than replicate, the conditions
that have been key factors impacting their emotional and behavioral problems.
(Jones et al., 2004).
The conditions that promote positive behavior in the classroom are becoming
increasingly clear (Algozzine, Audette, Ellis, Marr, & White, 2000; Frieberg, 1999;
Jones & Jones, 2004; Nelson and Roberts, 2000; and Sugai & Horner, 1999).
Conditions that promote positive behavior in the classroom include (a) clear
behavior expectations, (b) the teaching of expected behaviors, (c) consistent and
sound responses to rule violations, and (d) individualized programming for more
chronic behavioral difficulties. In addition, Jones et al. (2004) emphasize that in
order to build a positive classroom climate, the classroom must have an engaging
curriculum, curriculum modifications for students with academic difficulties, and a
community of support. The community of support will be developed when (a)
learning and behavioral expectations are clear; (b) rule violations are addressed
immediately and effectively; (c) learning is personalized and demystified; (d)
quality teacher-student and peer relationships are encouraged; (e) smaller, more

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personalized learning settings are formulated; and (f) individualized behavioral

programs are instituted for students with more chronic behavioral difficulties.
These smaller learning settings can be set up within the larger classroom
community, since the reduction of class sizes is most likely a distant reality for
many school districts.
Three popular models of proactive intervention for teaching students with
EBD are presented below. By learning more about the components of these
programs, and implementing them in an integrated fashion, the teacher of students
with EBD is expected to be more skillful and confident in working with these
students. The Re-Education model is presented in more extensive detail since it is a
very common model to be used in treatment programs for students with EBD and is
applicable to less restrictive settings as well.
Positive Behavior Support
Dramatic occurrences of school violence in the past decade have greatly
enhanced the publics awareness of school safety and discipline (Skiba & Peterson,
2000). This has prompted researchers to identify effective interventions to promote
a positive school environment, free from school violence and disruptive behavior. A
recent and popular model to emerge from major government and educational
research programs is positive behavior support (Bradley, 2001; Sugai & Horner,
2001). Positive behavior support (PBS) is a general term that refers to the
application of positive behavioral interventions and systems to achieve socially
important behavior change (Sugai, Sprague, Horner, & Walker, 2001). PBS is
derived from behavioral science, primarily applied behavioral analysis, and has
evolved from a focus on individual case management to systems-level
implementation, especially for the school as a whole (Sugai, 2002). PBS emphasizes
preventive and positive approaches for addressing problem behavior instead of
emphasizing traditional aversive measures.
The implementation of PBS is organized along the continuum of the three
levels of prevention as described by Walker et al. (1996). Primary prevention
involves schoolwide interventions aimed at decreasing the number of new cases of
problem behaviors. These interventions include the use of effective school-wide
disciplinary practices, classroom-wide behavior management strategies, and
effective instructional practices. Secondary prevention involves interventions with
at-risk students. Interventions at this level include more focused individual or small
group interventions, such as anger management or problem solving skills training.
Tertiary prevention involves interventions with students demonstrating initial signs
of behavioral difficulties. Intervention at this level includes the development of
specially designed instruction and individualized behavioral intervention plans.
Among these interventions are functional behavior assessments, behavior
intervention plans, and Individualized Education Plans (IEPs).
Extensive data verify that PBS interventions reduce the number of school-

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wide behavior problems. For example, a middle school in Oregon experienced a

42% drop in office referrals in 1 year after implementing PBS (Taylor-Green et al.,
1997). For further discussion regarding the efficacy of PBS, see Colvin, Kameenui,
& Sugai, (1993); Lewis (2001); Lewis, Sugai, & Colvin (1998); Sugai & Horner (1999);
and Sugai & Horner, (2001).
Comprehensive Classroom Management
The model of Comprehensive Classroom Management by Jones and Jones
(2004) emphasizes the importance of positive teacher-student and peer
relationships in managing student behavior. This model includes many of the
components of positive behavior support: (a) development of general behavior
standards, (b) development of clear classroom procedures and rules, (c) systematic
response to rule and procedural violations, and (d) the designing of individual
behavior change plans for students with significant behavioral difficulties.
However, central to the model is a focus on (a) instructional excellence, (b) active
student involvement in creating and learning classroom/school behavioral norms,
(c) problem-solving skills, (d) working with parents, and (e) the creation of a
community of caring and support.
The importance of student relationships and being part of a caring
community has been clearly supported by researchers in the field (Farmer, Farmer,
& Gut, 1999). As an example, the work on developmental assets suggests that
students who are more connected to their schools and families are significantly less
likely to engage in behaviors that are dangerous to their physical and mental
health. In their book Developmental Assets, Scales and Leffert (1999) state, The
research consistently shows, for example, that schools that nurture positive
relationships among students, and among students and teachers, are more likely to
realize the payoff of more engaged students achieving at higher levels (p 142).
Jones et al. (2004) believe that any comprehensive program addressing the
needs of students with EBD must effectively implement both the methods
presented in the work on positive behavior support (Sugai & Horner, 2001) and the
creation of a positive school-wide climate through the use of tools presented in the
model of comprehensive classroom management. Based on data collected in a
variety of schools, Jones et al. (2004) state that systematic implementation of
comprehensive classroom management has resulted in a reduction of between 35
and 49% of office referrals, suspensions, expulsions, and disruptive behavior in
common areas.
Re-Education
Re-Education stands for The Re-Education of Emotionally Disturbed Children
and Youth. It is an intervention paradigm for serving children with EBD and their
families. It is grounded in educational, psychological, and ecological principles
(Fescer, 2003) and was first created and articulated as Project Re-ED by

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Dr. Nicholas Hobbs (1982). Re-Education started out as a model of residential

treatment developed in the 1960s and focuses on training teacher-counselors, who
are backed up by consultant mental health specialists.
The philosophy of Re-Ed involves four core concepts and 12 basic principles.
The first of the four concepts is the Teacher/Counselor. According to Hobbs
(1982),
A teacher/counselor is a decent adult, educated, well-trained, able to give
and receive affection; to live relaxed but be firm, a person with private
resources for the nourishment and refreshment of his/her own life; not an
itinerant worker but a professional through and through; a person with a
sense of significance of time of the usefulness of today and the promise of
tomorrow; a person of hope, quiet confidence, and joy, one who has
committed him/herself to children and to the proposition that children who
are emotionally disturbed can be helped by the process of Re-Education.
The second concept is Just Manageable Difficulty. According to Hobbs,
Life is highly problematic, and what you will become will rest in no small
measure on the kinds of problem situations you get yourself into and have to
work your way out ofThe art of choosing difficulties is to select those that
are indeed JUST manageable. If the difficulties chosen are too easy, life is
boring; if they are too hard, life is defeatingWhen one achieves this fine
tuning of his/her life, she/he will know zest and joy and deep/fulfillment.
The third core concept described by Hobbs is the Ecological Approach.
Hobbs first articulated the concept later known as wraparound treatment planning.
Proponents of Re-Ed believe that the interplay and interaction of the people
important in the life of a child have more impact than any other variables. Thus,
Re-Ed involves a systems approach thinking on both a global and an individual
level.
Joy is the fourth core concept described by Hobbs. He states, Some of
the most satisfying moments are generated by successful achievements in school.
To do well in spelling or arithmetic, especially for students who expect and dread
failure, is to know a sharp delight.
In addition to these four core concepts, Hobbs described 12 principles of ReEducation. These are as follows: (a) Life is to be lived now, not in the past, and
lived in the future only as a present challenge. (b) Trust between child and adult is
essential, the beginning point for Re-Education. (c) Competence makes a
difference. Children and adolescents should be helped to be good at something and
especially at schoolwork. (d)Time is an ally, working on the side of growth in a
period of development when life has a tremendous forward thrust. (e) Self-control
can be taught, and children and adolescents can be helped to manage their
behavior without the development of psychodynamic insight. Symptoms can and

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should be controlled by direct address, not necessarily by an uncovering therapy.

(f) The cognitive competence of children and adolescents can be considerably
enhanced. They can be taught generic skills in the management of their lives as
well as strategies for coping with the complex array of demands placed on them by
family, school, community, or job. In other words, intelligence can be taught. (g)
Feelings should be nurtured, shared spontaneously, controlled when necessary,
expressed when too long repressed, and explored with trusted others. (h) The
group is very important to young people. It can become a major source of
instruction in growing up. (i) Ceremony and ritual give order, stability, and
confidence to troubled children and adolescents whose lives are often in
considerable disarray. (j) The body is the armature of the self, the physical self
around which the psychological self is constructed. (k) Communities are important
for children and youth, but the uses and benefits of community must be
experienced to be learned. (l) In growing up, a child should know some joy in each
day and look forward to some joyous event for tomorrow.
Key elements of effective Re-Education programs for children with EBD
Walker and Fecser (2003) have outlined the four elements of an effective
Re-Education program for the 21st century. The specifics outlined below will help
any teacher of students with EBD become more specific and consistent with the ReEducation philosophy.
Element #1 is the program foundation and philosophy. The foundation of any
program lies in its orienting philosophy. Any successful program must have a clearly
articulated values system, mission statement, vision, and set of program
objectives.
Element number #2 is program structure. Children with EBD require a
structured and predictable environment. These children do best when expectations
are clear and consistent, and changes in routine are kept to a minimum. A positive
building structure occurs when adults do the following: (a) consistently enforce
rules, (b) develop a clear system of both positive and negative consequences, (c)
use effective limit setting, and (d) use a much higher rate of positive
reinforcement than negative consequences in their interactions with students.
Element #3 is program climate and group process. The elements of the
program must come together in a way that creates a healthy feeling tone or
climate in the program. A healthy program climate provides its members with a
sense of identity, cohesion, and belonging, which encourages more appropriate
behavior and facilitates success. In a program where the overall climate is not well
developed, there will be a higher level of disruption, less cooperation, and a
requirement of more external controls.
Element #4 is individualized programming. The first three components
address the ecological context within which the child is served. But the core of
every program lies in meeting the individualized needs of each child. The first step

B E S T

P R A C T I C E S

in individualizing a program involves a thorough assessment of strengths and needs.

This includes identifying a students unique learning style, along with
social/emotional and developmental needs. Element #4 also includes the use of
functional behavioral assessments and the use of individualized positive behavior
support plans. Within this Re-Ed classroom, effective instructional techniques are
used in all classroom activities.
The first published study of Project Re-Ed compared outcomes for
adolescent males in Project Re-Ed with untreated disturbed adolescents and with
non-disturbed adolescents. Treated adolescents improved in self-esteem, control of
impulsiveness, and internal control compared to untreated adolescents (Weinstein,
1974). A 1988 follow-up study found that outcomes were often predicted by
community factors at admission, which suggests that community intervention may
be as effective as placement in the treatment setting (Lewis, 1988). Despite lack
of other research documenting its efficacy, Re-ED has continued to grow and has
become recognized as an effective (at least anecdotally) and efficient means of
helping troubled and troubling children reclaim their lives. The concepts and
principles make intuitive sense and serve as a wonderful guide for helping children
and adolescents with EBD.
Individualized Behavior Intervention Plans
It is well accepted that even the best quality proactive interventions will not
prevent all emotional and behavioral disorders from occurring (Kauffman, 1999).
Implementing interventions based on the proactive interventions presented above
will most likely result in a reduction of problem behavior among most students, but
there will always be those students who will require more individualized and
specialized instruction and supportive behavioral intervention. Kauffman notes that
nothing to date suggests that every such disorder can be prevented, although we
have good reason to suspect that the pervasive use of our best primary and
secondary prevention tools would reduce such disorders to a much lower level than
we observe today (p.449).
Some students with EBD will require more specific interventions guided by
an individualized behavior intervention plan that is based on a comprehensive
functional behavioral assessment. Below is a discussion of functional behavioral
assessment and strategies to develop behavior intervention plans. The natural
sequence of events is to first conduct a quality functional behavioral assessment of
problem behavior. Based on the obtained information from the functional
behavioral assessment, a behavior intervention plan is developed through a team
process involving a variety of school professionals and quite often the parent(s) or
caregiver(s). The plan is then implemented and monitored by a designated
professional. Based on the feedback from the monitoring system, the behavioral
intervention plan is modified as needed. The discussion below is intended to be

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only an overview of the process and not a comprehensive how to manual. For
further information, the reader is referred to the resources provided by Alberto
and Troutman (2005); Chandler & Dahlquist (2002); Nelson, Roberts, & Smith,
(2000); and ONeill, et al. (1997).
Functional Behavioral Assessment
Functional behavioral assessment (FBA) is a systematic way of gathering
information in order to determine a relationship between a childs problem
behavior and aspects of the environment (ONeill et al., 1997). An FBA is a
collaborative problem-solving process rather than simply a set of assessment
procedures (Chandler & Dahlquist, 2002; Nelson, Roberts, & Smith, 2000). The
purpose of the FBA is to help understand why a student engages in challenging
behavior, when/where is the challenging behavior most likely to occur, and under
what conditions will the student be most successful. This information helps to
formulate hypotheses (summary statements) in order to guide the development of
effective behavior intervention plans.
FBAs are based on several assumptions. First, all behavior is supported by
current environmental conditions. Second, all behavior serves a function (e.g., to
obtain something positive, to escape, to reduce certain sensory experiences).
Third, regardless of the etiology, challenging behavior can be changed through the
use of positive intervention strategies that address the function of behavior.
The process of FBA involves several distinct steps. In step one, the team or
person conducting the assessment must first decide if the behavior of concern is
challenging. Sometimes certain behaviors are annoying but not severe enough to
warrant focused specialized assessment and intervention. The second step of the
FBA is to select and define the target behavior. Students with EBD often present
with many behaviors of concern. It is difficult to address all the problem behaviors,
and it is much more effective to concentration on only one or two concerns at a
time. It is important to prioritize which behaviors are of most concern. The
selected behaviors then need to be well-defined in order to facilitate the most
effective interventions.
The third step of FBA is to identify setting events, antecedents, and
consequences related to the selected target behavior. Setting events are the more
distant events that happen at some point prior to the demonstrated target
behavior. Examples of setting events include having a pre-existing condition of
Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, having parents who are in conflict, or
struggling with a fluctuating mood disorder. Antecedents are the proximal events
that immediately precede the target behaviors of concern. Setting events are often
seen as setting the stage for the target behavior to occur, and the antecedent
events are the events that actually trigger the behavior to occur. Consequences are
those events that occur after the demonstration of the target behavior. In the
example, scolding a child for a tantrum, scolding is considered the consequence.

11

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The fourth step of FBA is to determine the function of the target behavior.
In this step, individuals or teams conducting the assessment analyze the data and
formulate hypotheses regarding the function of the behavior. For instance, an
aggressive outburst could function as a means to avoid a particularly challenging
academic activity.
The final step of the FBA is to develop summary statements. These
statements put hypotheses in more formalized terms. The format for a summary
statement is typically the following: Given a particular situation (situational
event), when x happens (antecedents), the student does y (challenging target
behavior), in order to z (function of behavior).
An example of a summary statement is as follows: On days when John has
spent the night at his grandmothers house and then he comes to school with his
mother, he becomes angry and throws a temper tantrum so that his mother will
take him back home.
Behavior Intervention Plans
Once an FBA has been completed, an individualized behavior intervention
plan (BIP) is developed (Chandler & Dahlquist, 2002; Nelson, Roberts, & Smith,
2000). This plan is developed using the information obtained from the FBA. The
purposes of the BIP are to help clearly define what is to be done. Frequently these
plans are also for legal documentation of intervention. Included within the plans
are an operational description of problem target behaviors, summary statements
from the FBA, the plan for reducing the problem behavior while increasing the
desired behavior, and the monitoring plan. BIPs are often based on a competing
behavior model, in that alternative behaviors (i.e., desirable behaviors) are
selected that directly make it difficult to engage in both the problem target
behavior and alternative behavior simultaneously. For example, if the problem
behavior is yelling at a sibling, the alternative behavior is to talk nicely to the
sibling. It is very difficult to yell and talk nicely at the same time.
The 1997 reauthorization of the Individuals with Disabilities Act (IDEA)
requires that the Individualized Education Plan (IEP) team consider positive
behavior support when a students behavior is impeding the students learning or
the learning of others (Section 614 (d)(3)(B)). The IDEA also requires that an FBA be
conducted for a student in special education who is involved in disciplinary action
that involves a change of placement for more than 10 days (Section
615(k)(1)(B)(l)). The FBA is a requirement to education who is involved in
disciplinary action that involves a change of placement for more than 10 days
(Section 615(k)(1)(B)(l)). The FBA is a requirement to make sure the BIP meets the
students needs. This requirement may or may not continue to be required under
pending reauthorization of the IDEA. However, regardless of the legal
requirements, conducting an FBA and developing a BIP are effective tools in the
teaching of students with EBD.

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In our experience, often teachers and administrators only see the

completion of FBAs and BIPs as ways to satisfy certain legal requirements.
However, FBA is not just a legal requirement; it is a philosophical way of thinking.
When behavior is systematically reviewed under the procedures of the FBA, many
important insights regarding the function of the behavior come to light. FBA does
not necessarily have to be a long, drawn-out process or result in a complex written
report. Teachers can and do incorporate this philosophy in their lesson planning.
In addition to conducting FBAs and BIPs, the readers may wish to take the
advice of Jones et al. (2004) and ask the following five questions when faced with
students who engage in irresponsible behavior:
What behavior skills does the student need to learn? What behavior skills do I
need to teach? What academic needs does the student have that, if unmet,
may influence his or her ability to act responsibly? Is the classroom
community meeting the psychological needs of the student? Am I able to
teach these skills or make these academic modifications in the classroom
environment with the resources I have available? (p.79).
Answers to these questions will help understand the nature of the students
difficulty and provide directions for intervention planning. Directions derived from
the answers of these questions may be incorporated into the resulting FBA and BIP.

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Part II: Specific Interventions for Common Problem Behaviors

Explanation of Section
The proactive interventions, FBAs, and BIPs, all will help in working with
students presenting with significant emotional and behavioral issues. The
fundamental philosophies underlying these techniques will help guide intervention
planning with most problem behaviors. In order to become even more effective, it
is extremely helpful to learn what common problem behaviors other teachers have
faced in the field and what strategies have been found to be successful with these
behaviors.
In the remaining parts of this manual, the reader is provided with common
behavior problems facing todays teachers of students with EBD. Immediately
following each description of a common problem behavior are suggestions for
intervention. Interventions are described according what the teacher, parent, and
student can do to improve the situation. The sections are labeled accordingly.
These problem behaviors and interventions were all derived from the brainstorming
sessions with the teachers at Oak Grove Elementary and Firwood Secondary Schools
at the Child and Study Treatment Center (CSTC). The reader can be certain that
these problem behaviors are those most frequently encountered by these teachers.
The reader can also be certain that the suggested interventions have been
implemented successfully by these very experienced teachers in the field.

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P R A C T I C E S
Appropriate Self-Expression

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Students express their ideas, thoughts, and

emotions using non-offensive language.

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Students use inappropriate language (e.g.,

swearing).

TEACHING
STRATEGIES

TEACHER

Clearly define offensive language. Students may hear

swearing at home and in the community and then think it is
okay to repeat it at school. Talk with students about what is
and is not offensive language in the classroom. Begin by
teaching positive ways to express emotions and helping
students distinguish positive emotional expression from
negative. For younger children, read Andrews angry words
(Lachner & The, 1997) or Elberts bad word (Wood, 1996) and
discuss.
Post lists of offensive and non-offensive words.
Generate lists of okay words in class and not okay words in
class with students. Provide instruction about what type of
language to use where, when, and with whom. For example,
ask them how they would express anger in front of their
grandmother versus in front of teammates when playing
basketball.
Send lists home to family members. Inform families
of acceptable versus unacceptable language in the classroom.
Tell them that some words that are used at home in private
may not be words for students to use in the classroom. Ask
families to model appropriate language at home as much as
possible.
Establish link between self-esteem and language.
Inappropriate language is a negative reflection on students
who use it and may mean that these students do not think
very highly of themselves. Positively reinforce the use of
appropriate language to help increase their self-esteem.
Teach about emotions. Post a list of feeling words in
the classroom. Beside each word, put a photograph of the
students themselves demonstrating the feeling, or have them
cut out magazine pictures that demonstrate the feeling. Talk
about how each specific emotion feels, how the body
physically looks and what the body does when feeling the
emotion. Give the clear message that all emotions are okay,
but not all ways to express or cope with them are okay.
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B E S T
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Teach alternative ways to express anger. Teach

different ways of expressing anger, other than swearing, such
as (a) finding a quiet place to calm down, (b) crying in
privacy, (c) squeezing a stress ball, (d) taking a walk, (e)
breathing deeply, (f) giving oneself a time-out, (g) writing a
letter, or (h) doing self-soothing exercises. Encourage
students to use these strategies when feeling anger or
frustration.
Share feelings with others. Encourage students to
find someone they feel comfortable talking to and have them
share their feelings with this person regularly. Allow time to
do this each day or on an as-needed basis.
Role-play strong emotions. Give students different
scenarios that would result in strong emotions. Have them
role-play ways of describing their feelings without swearing.
Provide feedback. Display popsicle sticks in a holder
on the teachers desk (or use straws stuck into a ball of clay
or a cup). Each time a student swears, take a stick away,
making sure the student sees it being taken. But give no
further attention to the matter. This will give feedback to the
student without giving a lot of attention. At the end of the
day, let the student trade in the remaining sticks for a
reward. When the student has remaining sticks, take one
stick away for the following day to slowly decrease the rate
of swearing.
Use journaling for self-expression. When students
are upset, allow them to write letters or in a journal, using
any language they want. When they are finished and have
calmed down, have them tear up the letter or piece of paper.
Talk about the importance of getting rid of hateful language.
Make a ceremony out of defeating the words, rather than
letting the words defeat them.
Redirect attention. If students are trying to get a
reaction from the teacher (i.e., negative attention), make
sure to give lots of attention to these same students when
they are using appropriate language. When they swear, try to
remain calm. Do not respond to a request or statement until
the student uses appropriate language.
Create incentives. Create a classroom-wide reward
program in which everyone gets points for using appropriate
language throughout the day. Encourage students to ignore or
not respond to other students if they use inappropriate
language. At the end of the day, the students who have the
most points can cash them in for a reward.
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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Appropriate Self-Expression

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Child expresses ideas, thoughts, and

emotions using non-offensive language.

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Child uses inappropriate language (e.g.,

swearing).

PARENT
STRATEGIES

PARENT

Learn about school expectations. Talk with the

childs teacher and school staff about general rules and
expectations for student behavior in the classroom and on the
school grounds. Specifically ask about the rules and
expectations for the use of profanity. If the school has a
campus-wide or classroom behavior plan, ask for a copy or a
verbal explanation.
Talk with child. Discuss concerns with the child, and
talk about the childs need to use profanity. Talk about when
and where it happens, who the child is with, reactions from
others, and alternative forms of expression. Monitor the use
of profanity at home as well, trying to establish behavior
patterns. Gather information to better understand the need
for this behavior. Does the child enjoy the reactions from
others? Or has the use of profanity become a bad habit?
Set a goal. With the child, set a goal to decrease the
use of profanity. Check in with the child daily to see how the
day went. If the child had a good day, discuss what went well
and reinforce the childs progress (e.g., praise, hugs, high
fives, treats, privileges). If the child had a bad day, discuss
what went wrong, as well as what might have made the day
go better. Support and encourage the childs efforts, with a
hug, pat on the back, or a listening ear.
Establish household rules/expectations. Discuss the
household rules and expectations regarding the use of
profanity. Try to use similar terms as those used at school for
the sake of consistency in the childs life. Talk about the use
of language at home vs. school vs. in the community and how
it might change depending on where the child is and who the
child is with at the time. Also discuss the importance of
knowing where and when to use different kinds of language.
For example, discuss the expectations of language used with
grandparents vs. what is said with friends when playing
basketball. Be very clear about the expectations, but also be
realistic. It may not be possible to change the language
teenagers use in their interactions with friends.
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B E S T
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

But do set limits on the language used with parents and other
adults, as well as that used at school. Be clear about what
will happen when the rules are followed and the
consequences when the rules are broken. Make it a point to
acknowledge and reinforce the childs positive efforts.
Model appropriate language. Model positive,
appropriate emotional expression, especially in negative
situations. Parents can show the child ways to handle
frustration, anger, and disappointments through their own
behavior. However, parents arent always perfect either. If
swearing does occur, be honest with the child, and admit that
a mistake was made. Explain that profanity isnt good to use
at home or at school, and talk about alternative ways the
situation could have been handled. By doing this, the parent
is teaching the child a number of lessons. First, the parent is
showing that swearing is a negative and inappropriate way to
express emotion. Second, the child is learning that parents
also make mistakes. Third, the parent is showing the
importance of being honest and taking responsibility for the
mistakes made. Finally, the parent is modeling ways to
process a negative situation and brainstorm more appropriate
solutions for future use. By observing the entire process, the
child is learning a lot about appropriate expression and ways
of coping with tough situations. Discussion is good, but seeing
the appropriate behaviors in action is even better.
Respond calmly. Make it a point to respond calmly
when the child uses inappropriate language (i.e., watch for
buttons being pushed). Take a deep breath and make sure
ones emotions arent taking over. When calm, tell the child
that the words used are not acceptable. Do not respond to a
request or statement until the child can rephrase it in a more
appropriate manner.
Monitor media exposure. The language used in the
media these days is often filled with inappropriate terms.
Frequently monitor what the child is exposed to in television
programs, movies, videos/DVDs, computer games, radio, and
CDs. When inappropriate language is used, let the child know
that it is not okay to repeat the language they heard and that
it is expected that they will not use profanity. Dont make a
big deal out of it, but definitely dont ignore it (if you know
for sure that the child heard it). If the profanity is ignored,
especially with older children, they might think its
acceptable to use. If the child does use inappropriate phrases

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B E S T
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

(e.g., from a song or computer game), talk to the child about

it. If the profanity continues, it might be necessary to limit
the childs access to that media.
Communicate with school. If the inappropriate
language becomes a major problem that is interfering with
schoolwork and other important activities, talk with the
childs teacher and pertinent school staff. Share ideas about
what seems to help decrease the use of profanity. Try new
ideas, and work to approach the inappropriate language in
the same manner at home and at school. This consistency will
help the child learn more appropriate means of selfexpression.
Use resources. For more information, see Clark (1996)
and Faber and Mazlish (2004).

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Appropriate Self-Expression

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Student expresses ideas, thoughts, and

emotions using non-offensive language.
Student uses inappropriate language (e.g.,
swearing).

STUDENT

Know expectations. Expectations for language use

may be different, depending on the situation or environment
and who is there. Thus, it is important to talk to people about
their expectations (e.g., parents, family members, teachers,
friends, trusted adults). Find out what types of language can
be used in their presence to know what is appropriate and
what is not. Ask specifically what is expected in different
environments, such as (a) at home, (b) at school, (c) in the
classroom, (d) on the school grounds, (e) on the baseball
field, (f) at a friends house, or (g) with grandparents. Adults
expect kids to talk respectfully to them. Slang and profanity
may be okay with friends, but not with unknown kids or
adults. They may be upset or offended by the use of
profanity.
Monitor use of profanity. Swearing is one way of
expressing very strong feelings. It can also be a bad habit. It
is okay to express strong feelings, but ask teachers and
parents to help find more appropriate words to express these
emotions. In this process, pay attention to the use of
profanity, knowing where, when, and with whom it occurs.
Work to increase the use of more appropriate forms of
expression. Ask family and friends for reminders when bad
language is used to increase awareness and decrease the
automatic use of profanity. When it does happen, be honest,
take responsibility, and apologize.
Monitor exposure to profanity. Swearing and bad
language are quite common in the media. Pay attention to
music lyrics, movies, TV shows, and video games. Hearing
profanity increases the chances of using profanity. When the
goal is to increase appropriate forms of expression, try to
minimize exposure to bad language.

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Following Directions

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Student follows directions and classroom

rules.
Student refuses to follow directions given
by adults.

TEACHER

Clearly define problem. To address the problem, it is

important to first identify the reason(s) why students are not
TEACHING
following directions. Steps in this process include (a) Track
STRATEGIES
the behavior, noting when it happens, what is going on
around the students before, during, and after noncompliance
occurs, and its frequency. Also include responses from other
staff and the students peers. (b) Look for patterns in the
information gathered (e.g., Does noncompliance occur when
students are excluded from a group, during transitions, during
free time in class?). What are the results of the behavior
(i.e., attention from staff or peers)? (c) Interview or talk with
students in a nonjudgmental manner. It may be that they are
unaware of concerns regarding their noncompliance. (d) Make
an educated guess as to why noncompliance is occurring
(e.g., wanting attention, unable to express ones feelings in
appropriate ways, lacking social skills for interacting with
peers, low self-esteem, inattention). (e) Choose strategies
based on these reasons, monitoring progress and giving
enough time for the strategies to work.
Develop plan. After better understanding the reasons
for noncompliance, work together with students and if
appropriate, their parents, to develop a plan to address
students difficulties in following directions and possible skill
deficits in this area. Ask students what would make it easier
for them to comply with directions that are given. Make the
expectations for students very clear, and tell them about
changes that the teacher will be making when giving
directions. This will help them know what to expect as well.
Monitor their progress over time. Invite their feedback, listen
to it, and use it productively. If noncompliance continues to
be a problem, adjust the target strategies as needed.
Use simple directions. Give one direction at a time,
using short, concise words. Be clear and consistent. Use do
words and avoid phrasing requests as questions (e.g., Please
instead
of Could you please sit down?). Be near
Licensed Nutritionsit&down
Wellness
Consultant

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B E S T
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

students before giving a direction, and make sure to get their

attention (i.e., saying their names, getting eye contact). Be
polite, and give students time to respond. If the direction is not
followed the first time, get their attention and repeat it again.
Be consistent. Develop a consistent pattern of response
to noncompliance using direct requests. Have a set of words to
use when giving a direction and a set to use when responding to
compliance.
Know when to ignore noncompliance. Pick battles
carefully. Decide which directions really need to be followed
and which ones are not as important to follow. Try to minimize
the energy and attention given to a student who is
noncompliant. Ignoring noncompliance, when possible, limits
the attention and power students receive and sometimes can
eliminate the behavior all together.
Know when to address noncompliance. Students can
gain power when ignoring the teachers directions. In these
cases, it is especially important to directly address the problem
in a positive manner. To do this, develop a fair and progressive
set of responses, and be consistent with it. For example, begin
with repeating the request. As noncompliance continues, then
take away a reward, lower grades for participation, or call
parents.
Directly teach compliance. Sometimes noncompliance
is a result of a skill deficit, rather than inattention or defiance.
In this case, help students generate ideas about how to respond
to different types of directions. Then discuss the chosen
responses and how to use them correctly to follow directions.
Empower students in positive ways. While learning
these new skills, help students feel empowered in a positive
manner. For example, prompt students to practice this new
skill of following directions in various situations in the
classroom, and help them to use it correctly. Or give students
jobs (e.g., tutoring, delivering papers) that are not contingent
upon compliance as a way to help them feel empowered and to
receive positive attention.
Use positive reinforcement. When students follow
directions, reinforce these responses with immediate praise
and frequent attention. But be careful not to praise too much.
Good intention can lose its meaning. A good rule is to give four
positive comments to one negative comment. Genuine and
specific reinforcement will encourage positive feelings and
continued compliance.
Use resources. For more information, see Goldstein
(1980).
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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Following Directions

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Child follows directions and rules, both at

home and school.

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Child refuses to follow directions given by

adults.

PARENT
STRATEGIES

Work closely with teacher and staff. Meet with the

childs teacher and related staff to talk about concerns
regarding the child not following directions. Focus on the
sharing of information, and reinforce positive efforts of the
teacher and school staff. Discuss when the noncompliance is
most prevalent at school. Is it during academic lessons or
unstructured times? Ask about the specific approaches being
used at school. Note the words or phrases that are being used
to address the problem and which ones are working the best.
Also share with them how the situations are being handled at
home and what the outcomes are. Work together to form a
plan to address the behavior. Then keep data, meet regularly
to discuss progress, and refine the plan as necessary.
Involve child in process. Discuss the problem with the
child, and get feedback to better understand the problem
from the childs perspective. Talk with the child about the
meeting with teachers and staff. Discuss the plan that was
developed, and get feedback from the child. Make sure that
the expectations for both school and home are clear. Also
have the child set one goal to address the problem. Discuss
ways to help and support the child to change this behavior.
Have the child monitor and chart progress toward this goal.
Support and encourage child. Specifically work with
the child on following directions. Say the childs name before
giving a direction, and have the child acknowledge hearing
the name (e.g., make eye contact, say Yes?). Then give the
direction, and have the child acknowledge that it was heard
(e.g., nod, say Yes or Okay). Also involve the child in
designing words or phrases that will make it easier for the
child to follow directions. This could mean using specific
words (e.g., Mary, please help me with ) or simple
sentences (e.g., John, please do ). Role-play difficult
situations if necessary. Throughout this process, remember
that there may be times that directions need to be repeated.

23

PARENT

B E S T
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Do so in a calm and pleasant tone.

Give feedback. Praise the child when there is
compliance, whether at school or home. When there are
problems, discuss (a) the situation, (b) the choices that were
made, (c) consequences of these choices, and (d) other
possible choices that might have been better. Be consistent in
providing this feedback, be it positive or more constructive.
Role-model compliance. Whenever possible, show the
child how to be compliant. When a family member or friend
asks for something to be done, acknowledge that the request
was heard, and complete the task. Be especially careful in
responding to questions or requests made by the child. If the
child feels respected and attended to by parents, the child is
more likely to respond in a similar fashion to them, as well as
other adults.

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Following Directions

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Student follows directions and classroom

rules.

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Student refuses to follow directions given

by adults.

STUDENT
STRATEGIES

STUDENT

Understand the problem. Monitor when directions are

followed and when they are not. What is the difference? Ask
the following questions: (a) Am I not following directions
because I am not paying attention? (b) Am I trying to avoid
assignments? (c) Do I not understand the directions and dont
ask for clarification? or (d) Do I not agree with the directions
and therefore choose not to follow them? Talk with parents
and teachers about these findings to better understand the
reasons for not following directions. Together set one goal to
improve the following of directions.
Learn new skills. If following directions is really
difficult, ask parents and teachers for strategies to help.
Possible strategies include (a) paying attention so directions
do not have to be repeated; (b) acknowledging when a
direction has been given, with a nod or verbal response (e.g.,
Okay.); (c) asking questions when the directions are not
understood; (d) making a conscious choice to follow the
direction (e.g. completing a task or an assignment); (e)
discussing directions that may cause conflict, instead of just
ignoring them; and (f) negotiating calmly and respectfully to
increase feelings of control. Choose strategies that seem to
address the reasons for not following directions, and practice
them at home and at school.
Be patient. Sometimes directions need to be followed
for reasons that are not readily understood. When this
happens, try to accept it, and remain calm when talking
about it. Using patience will make following these directions
easier over time.
Appreciate progress. Remember that learning a new
skill takes time and lots of practice. Be patient with self.
Monitor progress over time, and celebrate accomplishments
that are made.

25

B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Honesty

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Students will be honest with themselves

and others.

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Students lie at home, at school, and in the

community to family, peers, staff, and
community members.

TEACHING
STRATEGIES

Clearly define problem. To address the problem, it is

important to first identify the reason(s) why students are
being dishonest. Steps in this process include (a) Track the
behavior, noting when it happens; what is going on around
the students before, during, and after the dishonesty occurs;
and its frequency. Also include responses from other staff and
the students peers. (b) Look for patterns in the information
gathered (e.g., Do students lie when they have done
something inappropriate, are excluded from a group, when
they have conflicts with others, during free time in class?).
What are the results of the behavior (i.e., attention from
staff or peers)? (c) Interview or talk with students in a
nonjudgmental manner. It may be that they are unaware of
concerns regarding their dishonesty, or they might be able to
explain the reasons for it. (d) Make an educated guess as to
why they are lying (e.g., wanting attention, unable to express
ones feelings in appropriate ways, lacking social skills for
interacting with peers, low self-esteem, fear). (e) Choose
strategies based on these reasons, monitoring progress and
giving enough time for the strategies to work. (f) Help
students track their own behavior to identify reasons for lying
and to develop alternative strategies to being dishonest.
Clearly establish rules. Post rules and values,
including Respect each other and Keep hands and feet to
self in a highly visible location in the classroom, and refer to
them often. Have large and small group discussions on what
each rule or value means and how to show the rule or value
to others. Review the rules with the class as part of the
morning meeting each day.
Have specific class discussions about lying. Discuss
the reasons why people might lie in class discussions or in
small groups. Discuss how students feel when someone has
lied to them. Also discuss how others might feel when they
know someone has been dishonest.

26

TEACHER

B E S T
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Recognize honest behavior. Encourage students to be

honest and to talk openly about their concerns and mistakes.
In these discussions, be specific, name the behavior (but do
not excuse it), and in a positive manner, help students to
address the issue (e.g., John, thank you for telling me the
truth about not doing your homework. That must have been
hard to do. How can we work together to get your homework
done?).
Do not punish honesty. Hold students accountable for
inappropriate behaviors, but give positives for being honest
(e.g Although I feel bad that my favorite cup is broken, I am
proud of you for being honest and telling me what happened.
How can we take care of the broken cup?), (e.g., I am sorry
I didnt get your paper back to you. I wanted to correct it last
night, but I didnt get it done.).
Role-play honesty. In the classroom, discuss the
importance of being honest and practice telling the truth in
different situations, such as when asked questions or when
sharing experiences. Role-play especially tough situations,
such as the teacher asking about a homework assignment that
is not done.
Read stories about being honest. For example, read
the Dr. Seuss story entitled And to think that I saw it on
Mulberry Street(1964). Stop before the ending, and discuss it.
Then read the ending. Rewrite the story ending so that it is
truthful but interesting. Another example would be The boy
who cried wolf. Discuss the reasons he cried wolf and what
happened as a result of his lying.
Refer to school counselor. In extreme cases, students
may lie to parents or guardians at home to protect
themselves from physical harm. If abuse is suspected, refer
the student to the school counselor.
Use resources. For more information, see Goldstein
and McGinnis (1997); Huggins (1997); and Seuss (1964).

27

B E S T
DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S
Honesty
Child will be honest with self and others.
Child lies at home, school, and in the
community to family, peers, staff, and
community members.

PARENT

Understand problem. Pay attention to the lying, and

try to understand why it happens. Monitor when and where it
happens, what is going on around the child when it occurs, and
how often it happens. Talk to the childs teacher and pertinent
school staff to find out when it is happening at school.
Comparing this information, look for patterns. Does it seem to
happen at the same time each day? Does it happen during
similar activities or around the same people? How do others
(e.g., parents, teachers, peers) react to the childs dishonesty?
Talk to child. Discuss concerns with the child and get
input. How does the child feel about school, peers, teachers,
and activities? Let the child talk without interruption, trying to
stay objective and not passing judgment. Just listen calmly,
and ask questions for clarification when needed. If it is not
possible to talk to the child without getting upset, have a
family friend, clergy member, or counselor present to help
facilitate this discussion if necessary. Discuss what might help
the child to be more honest. Together set one goal to
encourage more honest behavior. Check in daily, and monitor
the progress together. Positively reinforce the childs efforts
with praise and positive attention.
Talk to school staff. Discuss concerns regarding the
child and the dishonest behavior with the childs teacher and
pertinent school staff. Share observations from home, and
listen to the teachers observations as well. Invite the
teachers input, and discuss ways to better address these
concerns at school and at home. Set goals, and work together
to support the childs progress toward them.
Discuss household rules and values. At a family
meeting, talk about the family rules and values (e.g., treating
each other with respect, being honest, taking responsibility for
self). Discuss what is important to each family member and
how to honor each rule/value (e.g., telling the truth when
something happens). In this discussion, make sure that
everyone has a common understanding of the family values.
Also be very clear about expectations, including what will
28

B E S T
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

happen when the rules are followed and the consequences

when the rules are broken. Be consistent in applying these
consequences, whether positive or negative.
Model honesty in daily activities. To encourage
honesty in the child, make it a point to model honest
behavior in everyday activities. For example, if the clerk at
the store gives the wrong change, point it out. Dont lie to a
friend and say, Im busy and cant go out with you when
it would be more appropriate to say, I really dont want to
do this today. Can we do it another time? The child learns
more from the modeling of honest behavior than from
talking about it.
Practice honesty skills. Role-play with the child,
taking turns showing how to respond honestly in different
situations (e.g., being asked about a chore that has not
been done, receiving a poor grade on a test, breaking a
dish). In this role play, model honest responses, using I
statements. For example, when being asked about todays
homework, say, I made a mistake and forgot to bring the
assignment home. instead of The teacher didnt give us
an assignment. Or if a friend asks how to do something, say
I havent ever done that. instead of Sure, I can do
that.).
Recognize honest behavior. Positively reinforce
honest responses from the child (e.g., John, thank you for
telling me the truth about not bringing home your
homework. That must have been hard to do. How can we
work together to get your homework?). Be specific, name
the behavior (but dont excuse it), and help the student to
complete what needs to be done in a positive way.
Do not punish honesty. Hold the child accountable
for inappropriate behaviors, but give a positive response for
telling the truth (e.g., Although I feel bad that my favorite
cup is broken, I am proud of you for being honest and telling
me what happened. How can we take care of the broken
cup?). If feeling angry about what happened, take time to
calm down before talking to the child. Say something like,
Thank you for telling me what happened. I am not mad
about you telling me, but I am upset about the [behavior]. I
need a few minutes to calm down before we talk. Take
those few minutes and then talk about what happened.
Again, reinforce the childs honesty, and figure out what
can be done to resolve the situation.
29

B E S T
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Discuss honesty as depicted in media. Talk with the

child about honest and dishonest behavior as portrayed in
books, television programs, and movies. Discuss what happens
when characters choose honest or dishonest behavior. Talk
about different choices the characters might have made and
the possible consequences for those choices. Try to relate
these situations to examples in the childs life.
Give positive attention. Listen actively to the child.
When the child shares stories about the day, pay close
attention, and show interest in the small, true details. This
positive attention sends a clear message that the child is
important and has important things to say, no matter how big
or small. This may cut down the need for exaggeration to get
attention.
Provide positive feedback. Post positive notes from
the school on the refrigerator or on the inside of the front
door for all to see. Say or write compliments to the child
often (e.g., Jill, thank you for being honest with me
about ). Praising the child in front of others can also be a
powerful reinforcer (e.g., Sam was impressive yesterday.
Even though he was scared, he came and told me the truth
about ). When meeting goals, provide an agreed upon
reward (e.g., privileges, special attention, small toy, treat).
Develop communication system with school.
Throughout the process, share information between home and
school frequently. Support one another, and ultimately
support the child toward positive change.

30

B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Honesty

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Student will be honest with self and others.

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Student lies at home, at school, and in the

community to family, peers, staff, and
community members.

STUDENT
STRATEGIES

STUDENT

Understand problem. How often is dishonesty a

problem? Ask the following questions to better understand the
problem: (a) When does it happen? (b) Where does it happen?
(c) What is going on when it happens? (d) Who is around? (e)
What is the outcome of the dishonesty? (e.g., getting extra
attention, getting into trouble) and (f) What feelings are
associated with lying (before, during, and after)? Talk to
someone about these concerns (e.g., parents, teachers, close
friends, trusted adults). Together set a goal to decrease lying
and increase honesty. Agree upon a reward that will be
received when the goal is met (e.g., privileges, a special
outing, extra recognition).
Monitor behavior. Watch the frequency of lying vs.
behaving honestly. Using a simple chart, tally the number of
times each occurs during the day. Try to increase the number
of honest tallies, and decrease the number of dishonest tallies.
Be aware of the times when it is easier to be honest and the
times when it is more difficult. Watch for the triggers for
dishonesty, and catch the lie before it is told. Then be very
complimentary toward self (e.g., I did it! Even though it
would have been easier to lie, I was honest.). Work on being
more honest, even in difficult situations. Each day try to be
more honest than the previous day.
Review reasons for being honest. Talk to parents,
teachers, peers, and other trusted adults about honesty and
why it is important. Review own thoughts about honesty and
other important values. Make conscious choices each day to
uphold these values.
Practice telling truth. Practice being honest with
others, whether it is talking about favorite hobbies, everyday
activities, inner feelings, or mistakes that have been made. By
being honest with the small and unimportant items, it will be
easier to be honest with more important issues when they
arise. Also use I-statements whenever possible to avoid
hurting others (e.g., I dont like it when you ignore me.,

31

B E S T
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

I feel angry when people call me names., I dont feel like

going with you today. Maybe another day., I feel sad when I
dont tell the truth., I feel happy when I take responsibility
for my own actions.). Notice the positive feelings associated
with telling the truth. Remember these feelings next time
there is a temptation to lie.
Focus on positive. Use positive self-talk, which is
the inner dialogue of the mind that is related to oneself. For
example, say I can be honest, although sometimes it is hard
to do. rather than I cant do it. Im too stupid to change.
Acknowledge all positive efforts and achievements, by writing
notes to self or telling others (I did a good job at telling the
truth about the missed homework.). Also focus on making
positive statements to others (e.g., I like the way you are
open with your feelings., You sure did a great job today on
that project., Thanks for being my friend.).
Learn from others. Pay attention to people who
appear to be honest. Notice how they interact with others,
how they handle themselves when things do not go the way
they want, and how others react to them. Work to emulate
their behavior, especially in difficult situations (e.g., think
about what Steve or Mary would do in this situation).
Be realistic. Even with the greatest intentions, there
will be days when the goal is not met (i.e., when it is easier
to lie than be honest or more difficult to be honest than to
lie). Dont get discouraged and give up. Just review what
happened and what might have made the situation easier.
Learn from these situations, renew the commitment to be
honest, and vow to try harder tomorrow. Be patient, and
remember that lasting change takes time.

32

B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Maintaining Boundaries

DESIRED
DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
BEHAVIOR
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

Students keep appropriate distance (i.e.,

boundaries) from others and use touch in
okay ways.
Students touch others inappropriately (e.g.,
touching too much, too hard, or in places
that are uncomfortable to others).

TEACHER

Teaching Strategies for Students who Impulsively Touch

Others
Teach boundaries. Teach students about boundaries
at the appropriate developmental level and include
information about boundaries, including the need for
personal space as well as appropriate touch. Everyones
boundaries are different, but everyone has a right to their
own boundaries.
Respect cultural differences. There are significant
differences in how and when members of a cultural group
touch others. Even among families of the same culture,
there are differing rules about when, where, who, and how
they touch each other.
Recognize cultural biases. Be aware of own cultural
biases, and help students to recognize their own. Teach
them about differences in their behavior with their family
and their behavior at school. For example, it is okay to kiss
members of ones family, but at school, it is better to limit
displays of affection to a hug or shaking hands.
Teach about personal bubbles. When teaching
younger children about boundaries, have them imagine
themselves in a bubble. The bubble defines their personal
space. When other people step inside the personal bubble,
it can pop. So it is important to tell people when they are in
ones bubble. For an activity, have students pair up and
walk toward each other. Have them say pop when they
think someone is inside their personal bubble. Discuss how
they felt when their bubble was popped.
Define boundaries as being at an arms length.
Teach older children about boundaries by having them
estimate the distance of an arms length. Have them pair
up facing each other and standing approximately an arms
length apart. Then ask them to briefly step closer with no
touching, and have them stay that way for 10 seconds.
33

B E S T
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

DO NOT FORCE THEM. Afterward ask them how it felt (or how
even just thinking about it felt). Then talk about the
differences in boundaries with friends, family, and strangers.
Encourage alternatives to intrusive touching. Teach
students alternatives to intrusive touching, such as handshakes,
holding hands, pats on the back, side hugs (i.e., one arm
around the shoulders, touching only side-to-side). Non-touching
alternatives can also be taught, such as drawing pictures,
singing songs, doing cheers, or using words to express positive
feelings for others.
Teach alternative strategies for positive attention. If
students use touch to get attention (e.g., poking, grabbing, or
hitting), teach them other ways to get it (e.g., using words to
express their feelings, talking through problems, working with
others to solve problems).
Clearly define space boundaries. For students who
have a hard time understanding space boundaries, use masking
tape on the floor. Examples include (a) make boxes around
desks where students are supposed to sit, (b) make pathways
within the classroom to show students where to walk without
touching others, or (c) put Xs on the floor where someone is
supposed to stand or sit during certain activities.
Use carpet squares. For younger children who sit on the
floor for circle time, use carpet squares to define their special
place to sit. At the same time, they can also be taught to keep
all their body parts on the carpet square so they are not
touching others.
Monitor room or seating arrangements. Arrange
seating, activities, and space in the classroom to minimize
interactions or maximize supervision of them between students
who are likely to have difficulty with touching.
Teaching Strategies for Children with Histories of Boundary
Violations/Sexual Abuse
Collaborate with parents and professionals. Many
children, but not all, touch inappropriately because they have
been the victims of abuse or boundary violations. If teachers
suspect that students may have been abused, talk with the
school principal, psychologist, and/or counselor, and review
the school districts child abuse reporting procedures. Even if it
is just a suspicion, one is mandated to report suspicions to
Child Protective Services. Talk to parents and enlist their
support. If the child is in treatment for abuse or boundary
34

B E S T
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

violation issues, it is important that the teacher, family, and

professionals all collaborate and communicate about what
behavior to be concerned about and how to intervene.
Develop a safety plan. In collaboration with the parents
and other professionals working with the student, develop a
plan to provide safety for other students. This might include
the following: (a) providing close supervision during
experiential learning activities, (b) using the bathroom without
other students in it. (c) keeping hands on top of the desk or
table at all times, and (d) restricting access to hidden nooks,
closets, or corners of the room. The plan should include school
procedures for reporting sexual behavior/suspected abuse to
school district officials and Child Protective Services. It is much
easier to talk about the need to report before an incident
occurs rather than after it happens.
Maintain appropriate confidentiality. Parents and
students who have histories of inappropriate touching are often
embarrassed and afraid they will be unfairly ostracized because
of their past behavior. While it is important for the teacher and
the people who work with the student to know about potential
behavioral problems, it is information that should be
maintained with strict confidentiality. The information that
must be shared should be carefully, accurately, and
respectfully communicated only to those individuals who need
to know.
Use resources. For more information, see C.A.R.E.
Productions Associations of B.C. (1984); Cavanaugh Johnson
(1996); Childrens Health Market (2003); Kleven (2002); Pransky
& Carpenos (1997); and Safer Society Foundation (2002).

35

B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Maintaining Boundaries

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
PARENT
STRATEGIES

Child keeps appropriate distance (i.e. respects

boundaries of others and uses touch in okay
ways).
Child touches others inappropriately (e.g.,
touching too much, too hard, or in places that are
uncomfortable to others).

PARENT

Parenting Strategies for Children who Impulsively Touch

Others
Know expectations of classroom. Ask the childs
teacher to explain how the child is expected to behave in the
classroom and on the school grounds. If the school has a
school-wide or classroom behavior plan, ask for a copy or
verbal explanation of it.
Establish household rules/expectations. Discuss the
family rules and expectations for touching (i.e., what is
appropriate and what is not). Help family members to
understand that what is appropriate in one situation may not be
in another. For example, talk about the display of affection with
family members vs. friends vs. acquaintances and strangers
(e.g., family members may kiss when they meet, but friends
hug or shake hands). Talk about personal boundaries or
personal bubbles and how people have preferences about
the size of their personal space. Talk about the importance of
respecting these boundaries, and teach family members about
setting their own boundaries (e.g., with strangers,
acquaintances, friends, family members). Also teach them how
to advocate for themselves (e.g., telling Uncle Fred that they
feel uncomfortable when he pats them on the bottom). Be
very clear about expectations, including what will happen
when the rules are followed and the consequences when the
rules are broken. Be consistent in applying these
consequences, whether positive or negative.
Model own boundaries. On a regular basis, give the
child feedback on what is appropriate and inappropriate
touch. When the child steps over those boundaries (e.g.,
consistently tugging on arm, jumping on back, crowding too
close), gently but firmly say that the child is violating
personal space. Provide an alternative way to touch
appropriately (e.g., Instead of jumping on me, come and sit
next to me.). Reinforce the childs positive efforts to
respect the boundaries given.
36

B E S T
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Set realistic goals. When the child frequently uses

inappropriate touch with others, together set one goal to
increase more appropriate touch. Each day, check in to see
how the child did, using similar terms as those used at school.
If the child has had a good day, reinforce the childs behavior
(e.g., praise, hugs, high fives, small treats, privileges). If it
has been a bad day, calmly discuss what went wrong and
what might have been done differently to make it a better
day. Maintain close contact with the childs teacher to see if
there are other ways to provide support and encouragement
as well.
Parenting Strategies for Children with Histories of
Boundary Violations/Sexual Abuse
Collaborate with teachers and professionals. Many
children, but not all, touch inappropriately because they
have been the victims of abuse or boundary violations. If the
child is in treatment for boundary issues, it is important that
the teacher, pertinent school staff, and professionals (e.g.,
therapist, doctors, social workers) all collaborate and
communicate about what behaviors to be concerned about
and how to intervene.
Educate and advocate for child. Many teachers feel
squeamish around the topic of abuse and dont have the skills
to deal effectively with children who have experienced
abuse. As a result, they dont respond appropriately to the
childs behavior and avoid talking about the issue because of
their discomfort. If you have information that could help
them better understand the child (e.g., from own
observations or those of a therapist or other professional),
share this information with them. If it is not possible to
adequately inform the teachers about everything they should
know, or feel a professional would be taken more seriously,
arrange to have the childs therapist, social worker, or other
professional talk with the teachers. The school counselor or
school psychologist may also be able to facilitate a meeting
to discuss issues specific to the childs needs at school.
Develop safety plan. Together with the teacher and
other professionals working with the child, develop a plan to
decrease the likelihood that the child will inappropriately
touch other children. Specific examples include (a) separate
the child from other children who might be willing
participants in inappropriate touching, (b) provide close
supervision during experiential learning activities, (c) have
37

B E S T
PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

hands on the table at all times, and (d) prohibit access to

hidden nooks, closets, or corners of the room.
Be aware of the reporting obligations of school
staff and professionals. If the child engages in some types
of inappropriate touch, school officials (or other
professionals) are required by law to make a report to Child
Protective Services. Talk to the childs teacher and other
members of the educational team (e.g., counselors,
psychologists, therapists) about this and how it is handled in
the school district. It is much easier to talk about the need to
report before an incident occurs, rather than after the fact.
If a report is made to Child Protective Services, be as open
and honest as possible with the investigating case worker.
Use resources. For more information , see Kahn (2002)
and Kleven (2002).

38

B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Maintaining Boundaries

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Student keeps appropriate distance (i.e.,

boundaries) from others and uses touch in
okay ways.
Student touches others inappropriately (e.g.,
touching too much, too hard, or in places that
are uncomfortable to others).

STUDENT

Know rules and expectations. Talk to parents and

teachers about appropriate and inappropriate touch. Ask
them to explain the rules and expectations for home and
school, regarding who to touch and how to touch others.
Know that these expectations can change depending on the
environment, the situation, and who is there. For example,
family members may kiss, but friends usually hug or shake
hands when they meet. Some people do not like to be
touched at all. It is okay for everyone to decide what they are
comfortable with and what they are not. Then it is important
to respect the needs and wishes of others related to touch
and personal space.
Practice boundaries. Everyone has personal
boundaries or personal bubbles. This is the space around
them. People have their own personal bubbles, but generally
it is about an arms length away. When people step inside
other peoples personal bubbles and touch in ways that are
uncomfortable, it is okay to tell them that they feel
uncomfortable, that they need more space, or that they wish
(or dont wish) to be touched.
Monitor touching. Pay attention to the desire to touch
others, as well as to the practice of touching others. If one
wants to touch others, ask if a handshake or hug would be
okay. If other kids say they dont want to be touched, respect
their decision, and leave them alone. If one touches other
kids and they say they dont like to be touched, apologize,
and ask how they would like to be treated. Respect their
needs and decisions for personal space as well. If one tends to
touch others a lot, keep ones hands in ones pockets or carry
an object (e.g., Koosh ball), so the hands will be busy and
less likely to touch others when meeting them.
Ask for help. If someone touches kids in ways that
make them feel bad, those kids should tell a parent, teacher,
or a trusted adult right away. This means pushing, shoving,
hitting, biting, spitting, or just getting too close. It also
39

B E S T
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

means if someone tries to touch anothers private parts.

Even if kids arent sure, they need to ask an adult for help.
If kids do not feel comfortable talking to their teacher, they
can talk to any trusted adult at school (e.g., the school
counselor, librarian, art teacher, or PE teacher), as well as
their parents. This is really important.

40

B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Recovering from Upsetting Event

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

Students can recover from upsetting events.

Students enter the school/classroom
exhibiting behaviors that suggest anger,
frustration, and an inability to cope with the
demands of the current environment.

TEACHER

Support students following upsetting events. Find a

quiet place or room, and encourage the student to talk about
the upsetting event. Ask whether the student would like
company or would rather be left alone. If it is the former,
give the student opportunities to talk, and just listen. The
student may just want the company without having to talk
about the event just yet. If so, respect the students wishes,
and just sit with the student. If the student would rather be
left alone, keep checking on the student at regular, brief
intervals. Sometimes going for a walk with an adult can help
drain off some of the impact of the event, helping the
student to calm down, feel more in control, and feel ready to
address the issue.
Use assistive techniques. For students who are having
significant difficulties in beginning to explore the issue, it
may be necessary to use assistive techniques. Some examples
include (a) using a chart that shows facial expressions and
labels emotions, (b) drawing a picture or series of pictures
related to the event and associated feelings, (c) using dolls or
figurines to help describe the interactions that occurred
during the event, or (d) acting out the actual event.
Process the event. When the student is ready and
willing to begin, use active listening, reflection, and
paraphrasing to help the student discuss the event.
Acknowledge the difficulty in talking about an upsetting
event, and support the students efforts.
Give regular feedback. Note the progress being made
as the student begins to relax and calm down. Let students
know how well they are doing through positive statements.
Allow for and expect increased emotions during this time.
Be patient with the recovery process. The progress
in recovering from an emotional event is not linear. There are
highs and lows, calms and storms as the process continues.
Frequently students appear ready to talk only to abruptly
stop and change their minds. It is imperative to be patient,
and allow students to proceed at their own pace and given
level.
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TEACHING
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Develop timeline. Use any assistive device needed to

develop a timeline to discover what occurred, as well as
when and how. Record on paper or on the board what the
student is saying. Repeat back what has been said, but note
the sequence as the student portrays it. Return to this
timeline with questions to establish some subtle information
that may not have been given or possibly was not obvious to
the student.
Determine if need for professional assistance.
Decide through the decoding of the information given
whether to continue, bring in another professional, involve
another student, or refer the student to a professional. Use
known information about available community, therapist, and
family support systems.
Draw conclusions. Based on this information, draw
conclusions about the reasons for the students difficulties,
such as (a) limited coping skills, (b) unrealistic expectations
for oneself or others, or (c) possible mitigating factors outside
of school (e.g., family problem). Based on these conclusions,
form recommendations to address what the student needs.
Discuss recommendations with student. Inform the
student of the recommendations that have been made, and
discuss how any of the possibilities might be of help. Ask
permission to proceed by involving others, but be clear about
the benefits to the student. Where there are issues that have
legal precedent, such as abuse, tell the student what the law
requires. Throughout this process, continue to provide
support for the student.
Transition student back into classroom when
appropriate. Depending upon the necessary action taken, as
well as the immediacy of the situation, the teacher will strive
to integrate the student back into the classroom environment
when appropriate. Let students know that when they are
ready, they may return to the classroom. Usually a suggestion
to get a drink of water or to wash their face will help as a
transition into the class. It is necessary to remember that
students have expended a great deal of energy -- mental,
physical, and emotional and it may be appropriate to offer
some rest, a snack, or other modified activities. Continue to
support students visually, verbally, and physically as needed.
Often a peer can be of help by befriending the student at this
time.
Provide skill enhancement. If the issue is primarily a
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

lack of skills, specific scripts may be selected or developed to

model and role-play solutions, either individually or in a
group setting.
Address cognitive distortions. Where cognitive
distortions (i.e., unrealistic expectations) are present,
reviewing and challenging the thinking processes that
perpetuate faulty reasoning may be of help. This may be done
through either group or individual counseling that is
supported by classroom activities to help identify the
relationship between events, emotions, thoughts, and
behaviors. Helping students to understand what is possible to
change versus what is not possible to change, as well as
building a plan to support their successes will surely have a
positive impact on them.
Proceed with caution. Educators can easily get caught
up in the students upsetting event and go beyond their skill
levels in trying to help. It is necessary to strive to stay calm
and poised. Focus on the students experience, and resist
making promises. Remember the information that has been
gathered is primarily the students perception of the event.
While supporting the student, strive to gather more
information to gain the clarity and understanding necessary
to intervene appropriately.
Take care. Often these interactions are quite
involved, and teachers may feel as drained as the students
do. Give oneself some time to recover and to reflect on what
has happened. Accepting the help and support from others for
the work that has been done is not only important, but also is
necessary to continue being a successful educator.
Use resources. For more information, see Gerald and
Eyman (1981); Goldstein (1980); Greenwald (1986); Long and
Wood (1986); Positive Education Program (2003); Tosi and
Moleski (1975); and M. Wood (1996).

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P R A C T I C E S
Recovering from Upsetting Event

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

PARENT
STRATEGIES

Child can recover from upsetting events.

Child enters school/classroom, exhibiting
behaviors that suggest anger, frustration,
and an inability to effectively cope with
the demands of the current environment.

PARENT

Parenting Strategies to Address a Major Event

Help child calm down. When a major event has
occurred, encourage the child to use relaxation strategies to
calm down, such as sitting or standing quietly, breathing
deeply, and/or counting to 10. When the child is relatively
calm, ask if the child would like to talk or would rather be
left alone. If the child needs space and time alone, keep
checking with the child at regular, brief intervals. Sometimes
going for a walk with an adult will help lower the impact of
the event, possibly helping the child to feel like talking.
When the child is ready, find a quiet place and encourage the
child to explore the upsetting event.
Use assistive techniques if needed. If the child is
having significant difficulty beginning to explore the issue,
use specific strategies to help. Possible strategies include (a)
using a chart that shows facial expressions to label emotions,
(b) drawing pictures to depict the situation, (c) using dolls or
figurines to describe the interactions, or (d) acting out the
event.
Process event. When the child is ready and willing to
begin, let the child talk without interruption. Talk about the
childs current feelings, as well as those before, during, and
right after the event. Be calm and just listen. As the
discussion continues, use active listening, reflection, and
paraphrasing while continuing to support the childs efforts.
Do not argue about the facts at this point. Just support the
childs efforts, validate the childs feelings (e.g., Wow, you
seem really angry., That must have made you feel sad.,
That must have been so scary., You were very brave.,
Thank you for sharing this with me.), and provide
reassurance (e.g., hugs, holding the childs hand, stroking the
childs hair). Be available for further discussion as the child
asks for it or seems to need it.
Support and give regular feedback. Note the progress

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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

the child is making, as the child begins to relax and calm

down. Use positive statements to reinforce how well the child
is doing. Allow for and expect increased emotions during this
time. If necessary, encourage deep breathing and/or short
breaks to cope with the stress and emotion.
Be patient with recovery process. The progress made
in recovering from an emotional event is not linear. There are
highs and lows, calms or storms as the process unfolds.
Frequently, the child appears ready to talk and then abruptly
decides not to talk. Be patient, and allow the time the child
needs to calm down.
Be objective. Parents can easily get caught up in their
childs upsetting event. It is necessary to stay calm and
poised. Focus on the childs experience, and resist making
promises. Remember, the child is giving only one side of the
situation. Continue to be supportive, but also be prepared for
other information to surface over time.
Develop timeline. Use any assistive techniques to
develop a timeline to discover when, how, and what
occurred. Record on paper what the child is saying. Repeat
back what has been said, but note the sequence as the child
portrays it. Throughout the process, return to this timeline
frequently with questions to clarify inconsistencies or to
establish subtle information that was either not given or
possibly not obvious to the child.
Use supports. After talking with the child about the
situation and the childs feelings about it, decide what needs
to happen next. Use any resources that are available to the
child and family. This would include (a) family members
(immediate and extended), (b) friends, (c) neighbors, (d)
school staff, (e) clergy, (f) church members, (g) community
organizations, and (h) professionals as needed. Involve the
child in this process as appropriate, discussing the importance
and benefit of help and support from others.
Take care of self. Often these situations are quite
involved and emotionally draining for children and parents
alike. Take time to recover and reflect. Also take good care
of oneself, and allow others to help. Having this care and
support is imperative to being an effective parent.
Return to regular activities. How quickly to
encourage the child to return to regular activities depends on
the nature of the situation, the childs reaction to it, and how
well the child has calmed down during the process. Allow the
child to guide this process. When the child is ready, develop a
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

plan together to help the child safely return to the usual

activities. Go slowly and offer calming strategies, especially
in the beginning (e.g., getting a drink of water, washing face,
having a snack, taking a nap). Also work to ensure success
whenever possible (i.e., eliminate other kids, toys, or
variables that may have led to the original upset).
Know when to seek professional assistance. Over the
next few days or weeks (depending on the situation), monitor
the childs mood and daily activities (e.g., general attitude,
energy level, eating, sleeping, desire to play/be with others).
If the child seems to be struggling with the usual daily
activities and does not seem to be physically ill, talk with the
childs teacher. If the child seems to be struggling at school
as well, it may be necessary to seek professional help.
Parenting Strategies to Address an Ongoing Problem
Help teacher and staff understand child. When the
child has an ongoing problem in coping with upsetting events,
meet with the childs teacher and related staff. Discuss the
childs strengths and weaknesses, interests and activities,
relationships and responsibilities. Also discuss any major
events, positive or negative, that have occurred in the childs
life that are pertinent to the childs current coping abilities.
Be actively involved with child. Make it a point to
check in with the child throughout the day and encourage
open expression. Ask about the childs day (e.g., what has
gone well, what has been tough, what was the favorite part)
and how the child felt during these situations. Work to
identify triggers for positive emotions, as well as those for
negative emotions, and establish patterns of behavior. Help
the child to see and understand these connections as well.
Discuss potential consequences of negative emotions and
specific ways to cope with them (e.g., counting to 10 when
upset, talking to a friend when sad, shooting baskets when
angry). Brainstorm ways that the child can cope with tough
situations and tough emotions. Make a list and post it in the
childs bedroom. Have the child refer back to it when having
difficulty coping.
Work to understand triggers. Overreactions are often
caused by irrational thinking or cognitive distortions (e.g.,
No one will ever like me.; I have to be perfect.; If
anyone ever gets angry with me, I am a failure.; If my
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PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

friend makes a new friend, my friend wont like me

anymore.). If these distortions appear to be present after
monitoring the childs thoughts and feelings, it is important
to review and challenge these thought patterns with the
child. This can be done informally or more formally through
individual or group counseling. In this process, it is important
to understand the nature of these thought processes and how
they relate to external events, emotions, and behavior. No
matter which strategy is used, help the child to understand
that change is possible. Support the child in setting goals,
monitoring progress, and celebrating successes.
Gather data. Set goals and help the child to monitor
progress toward them. Focus on just one or two goals, making
sure they are simple and realistic to attain (e.g., take a 10minute time-out when feeling angry, talk to Mom or Dad
when feeling sad using I-statements, shoot 20 baskets
when feeling upset, listen to music for 10 minutes when
feeling frustrated). Post a chart on the refrigerator, and have
the child document progress.
Give feedback. Reinforce the childs positive efforts,
as well as progress toward these goals with verbal and/or
nonverbal rewards (e.g., praise, hugs, stickers, privileges).
When progress is slow or difficulties arise, discuss possible
obstacles and ways to overcome them. When outbursts or
inappropriate behavior occurs, discuss what happened, the
childs feelings, and ways the situation might have been
handled differently. Focus on what can be learned from these
situations, rather that seeing them as failures.
Work closely with teacher and staff. Communicate
regularly with the childs teacher, sharing observations from
home and getting feedback regarding the childs behavior at
school. Methods of communication might include (a) weekly
progress reports (or daily if necessary), (b) phone calls, (c) email, or (d) regular meeting times. Discuss the childs
progress and ways to reinforce it. Also discuss consequences
for emotional outbursts or sulking, both at school and at
home. Finally, talk about ways to encourage and support
more positive coping strategies. Work to be consistent across
environments as much as possible.
Develop crisis plan. Whether a family is in crisis or
just experiencing a little extra stress, it can benefit from a
crisis plan. This means working together with family members
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P R A C T I C E S

to develop a plan to cope with stress in difficult situations.

This plan would include strategies to cope with a range of
stressors, from very minor stresses to those of crisis
proportion. Thus, it would encompass simple strategies, such
as (a) having more family dinners, (b) making a list of family
supports, (c) setting a game night, or (d) going away on a
much-needed vacation. But it would also involve more
complex strategies as well, such as (a) having regular family
meetings to discuss specific concerns, (b) developing family
conflict resolution strategies, or (c) using an emergency
escape plan in case of an accident or fire. The goal of this
plan would be to help family members cope with any
situation that might occur in a positive, cohesive manner.
Use resources. For more information, see Gerald and
Eyman (1981); Goldstein (1980); Greenwald (1986); Hart
(1995); Long and Wood (1986); Positive Education Program
(2003); Tosi and Moleski (1975); and Wood (1986).

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P R A C T I C E S
Recovering from Upsetting Event

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Student can recover from upsetting events.

Student enters the school/classroom
exhibiting behaviors that suggest anger,
frustration, and an inability to effectively
cope with the demands of the current
environment.

STUDENT

Calm down. Tell a trusted adult (parent, teacher,

friend) about feeling upset. Ask to go to a quiet place to calm
down. Focus on taking deep breaths and releasing body
tension. Think about a quiet, peaceful place and imagine
being there. Continue taking deep breaths. Other relaxation
strategies might include (a) slowly counting to 10, (b) pacing,
or (c) going for a walk.
Talk with others. Ask to talk with a trusted adult
when ready to talk. Try to recount the event in a timeline
fashion (i.e., who did what and when) as much as possible.
Help the adult understand the event. Use deep-breathing
techniques as needed during this process to stay calm and
focused. Be aware of feelings, and share them with the adult.
Listen to questions being asked, and try to respond to them.
Follow plan. If there is an anger/frustration or upset
plan, review it and prepare for the next step in the plan.
Continue to relax and work toward problem recovery.
Ask for help. Think through the situation, current
demands, and what one needs. Think about what it will take
to resolve the situation. Think about returning to class and
what will need to be done, both before and upon the return
(e.g., participating in a class discussion, taking a test, doing
an activity). If help is needed in any of these areas, ask for it
(e.g., an adult to mediate in the problem resolution, extra
quiet time before returning to class). When ready to return to
class, first wash face, get a drink of water, and then reenter
the classroom. Follow up with any plan or commitment that
has been made to ensure complete problem resolution. Be
open to new coping techniques, and work with others as
agreed. Then sit back and be proud of all the hard work that
has been done!

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P R A C T I C E S
Respecting Property

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

Students respect the property of others, as

well as their own.
Students destroy property.

TEACHER

Clearly define problem. To address the problem, it is

important to first identify the reason(s) why students are
being destructive. Steps in this process include (a) Track the
behavior, noting when it happens; what is going on around
the students before, during, and after this behavior occurs;
and its frequency. Also include responses from other staff and
the students peers. (b) Look for patterns in the information
gathered (e.g., Do students destroy things when they are
angry, when they are excluded from a group, during conflicts
with others, during transitions, during free time in class?).
What are the results of the behavior (i.e., attention from
staff or peers)? (c) Interview or talk with students in a
nonjudgmental manner. It may be that they are unaware of
concerns regarding their destructive behavior. (d) Make an
educated guess as to why they are destroying things (e.g.,
wanting attention, unable to express ones feelings in
appropriate ways, lacking social skills for interacting with
peers, low self-esteem). (e) Choose strategies based on these
reasons, monitoring progress and giving enough time for the
strategies to work.
Encourage self-monitoring. For students with selfcontrol issues, it is helpful to understand the triggers for
destructive behavior and encourage the students to watch out
for these triggers when they occur. Possible triggers could be
name-calling, someone bumping into students, anxiety
brought on by another event or concern, or an apparent
unknown. Reaction to these triggers can start a chain of
events that eventually leads to something being broken or
destroyed. If the trigger can be identified, it is possible to
help students deal with their anxiety. If the trigger is not
identifiable, students can learn to read their own body cues
(e.g., tight muscles, rapid breathing, sweaty hands). When
teaching students to recognize and monitor these cues, teach
them ways to control the cues, such as deep breathing,
relaxation exercises, walking away from negative situations,
or finding someone to talk to about their concerns.
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Give verbal or nonverbal cues. Giving students cues

can help them track their own reactions and behavior. These
cues can be verbal or nonverbal but should be clearly defined
and agreed upon by teachers and students. It is imperative to
maintain a calm tone and presence when a student is losing
control. If the teacher gets upset or angry, students will pick
up on these cues. As a result, the situation will intensify, and
feelings will escalate. However, if the teacher remains calm
and helps students to recognize their feelings and behavior,
together they can defuse the situation and avoid negative
outcomes.
Promote communication and understanding. Ask
students why they think they are destructive at times. Listen
to what they say in a nonjudgmental manner. Help them to
elaborate on what they were feeling during a recent incident,
using I-statements. Discuss alternative approaches students
could have used to address the issue or solve the problem, as
well as possible outcomes of each choice. Have students
choose which one would have been the most beneficial.
Based on this information, discuss how to make more positive
choices in the future.
Help students who are out of control. When students
are out of control to the point that others are in danger (e.g.,
not listening or hearing others, not responding to cues,
yelling, throwing/breaking things, dumping
tables/chairs/desks,), teachers and staff need to physically
intervene to take control of the situation. Remove these
students from the group and give them a time out in an area
where they (and others) will be safe. At first do not try to
talk with students. Give them time to calm down. When they
can follow simple directions (e.g., sit down, use a quiet
voice), begin talking with them about what just happened.
Talk about the triggers, thoughts, feelings, behavior, and
outcome. Specifically, talk about the incident in detail and
about the reality of what happened. Next, help students to
define steps toward resolution and taking responsibility for
ones behavior. Finally, rehearse what will happen when they
transition back into the classroom and how to resolve any
remaining topics or feelings students might have.
Encourage restitution. Once students have calmed
down and talked about the incident, they need to assess the
damage done during it. Do this when both the student and
teacher are calm. Is it that they only need to clean up the
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

mess they made, or did they do damage to an object that

needs to be replaced or thrown away? There are some choices
that can be made. Teachers must have knowledge of their
students and what they are capable of handling. If the
damaged article needs to be replaced or thrown away, then
maybe students can work off the cost of replacement. They
could help clean the classroom or do recycling, whatever the
teacher and student feel will be fair and just. Students should
also write or draw an apology to all that have been affected by
their actions.
Coach them through apologies. Having students
apologize in person is a good skill to build, but remember that
this is very difficult for children (and adults alike). Structure
the situation so it may be successful for the students and coach
them during the process. Promote a positive outcome, such
that no one is left feeling humiliated.
Model respect and pride in ownership. Sociologists
have shown that if people see things broken, they are more
likely to commit further crimes or display negative behavior.
Therefore, clean up or fix broken things quickly to send the
message that people care about the classroom/school and the
things in it. Discuss the need to respect ones own property, as
well as that of others and to take pride in their surroundings,
both at home and at school.
Use resources. For more information, see Goldstein
(1980); Long and Wood (1991); Sprick & Howard (1995); and M.
Wood (1996).

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P R A C T I C E S
Respecting Property

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
PARENT
STRATEGIES

Child respects the property of others, as

well as the childs own.
Child destroys property.

PARENT

Understand problem. Talk to the childs teachers to

learn more about the destructive behaviors that are being
displayed. A clear understanding of these behaviors, the
triggers promoting them, and the associated consequences is
imperative for parents to help their children learn the selfcontrol strategies necessary to become less destructive and
more respectful of others. Share observations from home or
other settings to help teachers and staff better understand
the problem as well.
Learn about behavior programs. Ask if there is a
behavior program being used at school, and if so, request a
copy. If not, ask if a behavior program might be useful, and
volunteer to help in its development. Review the program
with the teacher and the child. Ask questions if there is any
confusion. Use the same terminology at home as the teacher
uses at school to support the program, set clear expectations,
and be consistent across settings.
Work closely with school staff. Check in with
teachers regularly to determine if the behavior program is
working, if changes are needed, and what can be done at
home to support it. Continue to share observations to help
staff maintain a good understanding of the problem in other
settings, the progress being made, and any assistance that is
needed. Continue to ask questions when necessary.
Talk openly with child. Discuss concerns,
expectations, progress being made, apparent obstacles to
progress, and goal attainment. Talk about the childs feelings
associated with the destructive behaviors, including feelings
before, during, and after they occur. Also discuss potential
consequences and possible responses to the behavior, such as
(a) avoidance from others, (b) friends or classmates refusing
to play, or (c) peers feeling the need to protect their
property and denying the childs use of it. Support the childs
feelings, but also remind the child that there are more
positive forms of self-expression and better ways to solve
problems. Reinforce positive self-expression when it occurs.
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Directly involve child throughout process. Involve the

child in meetings with teachers and staff. Encourage
cooperation and participation, as well as reward compliance
and progress made throughout the process. Provide positive
feedback when the child has had a good day. When destructive
behaviors have occurred, talk calmly with the child about what
happened. Review the events and the triggers that led to the
destructiveness. Talk about other choices that might have been
made and what can be learned from the situation. Encourage
responsibility for ones actions, and reinforce positive
participation in this discussion.
Expect and support restitution. Talk with the child
about possible ways to pay for objects that have been broken
or damaged. Children can use their allowance to pay for them,
or they can do constructive work around the home or for
others. Another possibility is to do compensation work for the
person whose property was damaged (e.g., doing another
childs chores, doing housework or yard work for an adult). An
apology, either written or verbal, is essential.
Be a good role model. Children emulate the adults in
their lives. Take good care of possessions, and respect the
property of others. Quickly take responsibility when damage is
done, and work to right the situation. When conflict arises, use
creative problem-solving strategies, and speak carefully when
frustrated or angry.

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P R A C T I C E S
Respecting Property

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Students respect the property of others, as

well as their own.
Students destroy property.

STUDENT

Monitor destructive behavior. Keep track of time,

place, and what is happening when the desire to break things
begins. Chart the frequency of these feelings, as well as the
behavior. Watch for patterns (e.g., Do I always feel
destructive at the same time of day, around the same people,
or in the same settings? How am I feeling when I want to
break things? Am I angry, upset, frustrated, sad ). If this
seems too difficult, ask a trusted adult (e.g., parent, teacher,
friend) to help.
Use self-control strategies. Practice strategies to
help control feelings and destructive behavior, including (a)
stopping and thinking before acting, (b) deep breathing, (c)
counting to 10, and (d) expressing self using I-statements
(e.g., I feel angry when you will not share with me instead
of taking the toy and breaking it). If nothing helps to calm
down, ask an adult (e.g., parent, teacher, friend) for
assistance. Talk about what has been tried, what seems to
work, and what does not. Together brainstorm other ways to
encourage self-control.
Discuss concerns. Talk about feelings and destructive
tendencies with a parent, teacher, or another trusted adult.
If something has been broken, talk about what happened.
Also talk about the reasons it happened and what might have
been done differently to avoid the destructiveness. Ask for
help and advice as needed. Role-play different scenarios and
different outcomes to help make a better choice next time.
Restitution. When control is lost and something is
broken, one needs to make restitution (i.e., showing one is
sorry and making it up to everyone involved). This can be
done in person or in writing. The steps involved include (a)
apologize, (b) clean up the mess, (c) talk to the owner of the
object, (d) offer to replace object with own money, and (e) if
short on money, offer to work off the amount it will cost to
replace the object. If necessary, ask a trusted adult to help.

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P R A C T I C E S
Safety

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

Students will be safe with peers and staff.

Students harm others with physical contact,
such as hitting, biting, or kicking.

TEACHER

Clearly define problem. To address the problem, it is

important to first identify the reason(s) why students are
being physically aggressive. Steps in this process include (a)
Track the behavior, noting when it happens; what is going on
around the students before, during, and after aggressive
behavior occurs; and its frequency. Also include responses
from other staff and the students peers. (b) Look for
patterns in the information gathered (e.g., Do students
become physically aggressive when they have conflict with
others, are excluded from a group, during transitions, during
free time in class?). What are the results of the behavior
(i.e., attention from staff or peers)? (c) Interview or talk with
students in a nonjudgmental manner. It may be that they are
unaware of the problems resulting from their aggression. (d)
Make an educated guess as to why they are becoming
aggressive (e.g., wanting attention, unable to express ones
feelings in appropriate ways, lacking social skills for
interacting with peers, low self-esteem). (e) Choose
strategies based on these reasons, monitoring progress and
giving enough time for the strategies to work.
Clearly establish rules. Post rules and values,
including Respect each other and Keep hands and feet to
self in a highly visible location in the classroom, and refer to
them often. Have large and small group discussions on what
each rule or value means and how to show the rule or value
to others. Review the rules with the class as part of the
morning meeting each day.
Develop individual contracts. After better
understanding the reasons for aggression, work together with
students and if appropriate, their parents, to develop a
contract to address students tendencies toward being
aggressive and possible related skill deficits. For example, if
Johnny uses positive ways to gain attention 5 days in a row,
he will select a 30-minute activity of his choice. Help
students to monitor their progress over time, adjusting the
contract as needed to promote more appropriate behavior.
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P R A C T I C E S

Use positive reinforcement. In helping students track

their own behavior, also help them to identify improvements
and positive changes they have made. Reinforce these
changes with praise and attention. Teach and model I
statements (e.g., I like it when you remember the rule and
raise your hand to get attention.). Also help students
themselves appreciate the positive changes they have made
(i.e., encouraging them to feel pride in themselves and their
efforts).
Separate students. Separate students who are most
likely to fight, and only allow contact in highly structured
interactions that are closely monitored.
Be consistent. Develop a consistent response to
aggression and the resolution of related conflict. Provide a
quiet area for students to go when feeling frustrated, feeling
a desire to hurt others or when needing to de-escalate. A
Koosh ball or something similar can be used to hold or
squeeze when feeling frustrated. When there has been a
conflict or physical encounter, allow time for the students to
calm down. Talk to the student about (a) What caused the
frustration to build? (b) What are other ways to handle
frustration? (c) What could the student do if the same
situation arose again? (d) What needs to happen for the
student to return to the classroom or learning area?
Teach and model journaling. Provide students with
notebooks in which they can express feelings and
frustrations, as well as record related behaviors. Allow them
to use these journals when they are beginning to feel
frustrated.
Teach relaxation. Brainstorm with students, and
develop a list of ways for them to relax when they are feeling
frustrated (e.g., deep breathing, counting to 10). Practice
these techniques often with students so they will be able to
do them automatically when they begin to feel frustrated.
Use role modeling. Use social skills training for the
entire class that will reinforce positive, appropriate
interactions with others. Use practice and role playing to
show what happens when students are continually aggressive
as well as what happens when they use more positive ways to
get attention. Have students practice how to get positive
attention and reinforce their efforts. Specific topics to
address include (a) starting a conversation, (b) asking a
question, (c) introducing oneself, (d) giving and receiving
compliments, (e) asking for help, (e) joining in and dealing
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P R A C T I C E S

with feeling left out, (f) expressing feelings, (g) sharing

something, (h) helping others, (i) negotiating, (j) using selfcontrol, (k) responding to teasing, and (l) making a
complaint. Specific lessons to teach these skills can be found
in the resources below.
Use resources. For more information, see Goldstein &
McGinnis (1997); Huggins (1997); Linehan (1993); and
Sunburst Communications (2003).

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Safety

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
PARENT
STRATEGIES

Child will be safe with others

Child harms others with physical contact,
such as hitting, biting, or kicking.

PARENT

Understand problem. First try to understand why the

child is hurting others. Pay attention to when it happens,
where it happens, how often it happens, what is going on
around the child when it occurs, and what happens
afterward. Talk to school staff about their observations as
well. Look for patterns in this behavior. Does it seem to
happen at the same time each day? Does it happen during
similar activities? Does it happen with certain peers or no one
in particular? Does it happen when the child is unsupervised?
Observe the child and pinpoint the physical warning signs of
anger in the child (e.g., tight muscles, red face, clenched
fists, fast and shallow breathing, increased heart rate).
Talk with child. Discuss concerns with the child and
get input. How does the child feel about school, friends, and
teachers? Are there concerns? Encourage the child to talk and
just listen. Refrain from passing judgment, but do ask
questions for clarification when needed. Calmly discuss the
signs of anger in the child. Agree to watch for these signs,
and work with the child to catch the anger in the early stages
before it escalates to the point where the child is hurting
others.
Discuss household rules and values. Talk about
household rules and family values, especially pertaining to
respect, interactions with others, conflict management,
aggression, and violence, with all family members. Discuss
what is important to each family member, and talk about
ways to honor each rule/value (e.g., use words to express
anger and frustration, rather than hurting others). Talk about
it being OK to be angry but that it is NOT OK to hurt others.
Discuss examples showing how everyone can get angry during
the day, but also talk about safe ways of expressing and
coping with it (e.g., I was so mad at work today. I had to
count to 10 four times.). In this discussion, be very clear
about expectations, including what will happen when the
rules are followed, and the consequences when the rules are
broken. Be consistent in applying these consequences,
whether positive or negative.
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Develop contract with child. Working together with the

child, make a contract to reinforce safe behavior (e.g., If
Johnny doesnt hurt anyone for 5 days in a row, he will get to
have a friend over.). Set one goal that is realistic and very
specific. Together choose a reward that will be valuable to the
child. Then encourage the child to monitor this behavior, using
a tally sheet posted on the refrigerator or in the childs
bedroom.
Support and reinforce efforts. Review the childs
progress daily, looking at the tally sheet and talking about the
childs day. Encourage the child to talk by really listening to
what the child has to say and not interrupting. Validate the
childs feelings, and ask questions for clarification. The goal is
to convey a wish to understand and help the child. During this
discussion, if the child acknowledges having felt frustrated or
angry that day, talk about the situation, including what
happened before, during and after it. Also discuss how the
child felt during the process and how the situation was
handled. Talk about what can be learned from the situation
and how it might have been handled in a different (possibly
better) way. Reinforce the childs positive efforts in positive
ways, such as (a) using I-statements (e.g., I like it when you
remember to use your words instead of pushing to get your
brothers attention.); (b) posting positive notes from school
on the refrigerator; (c) praising the child (e.g., Jane, you did
a great job telling your sister you were angry when she was not
sharing. You should be proud of yourself.); or (d) giving hugs,
and/or privileges.
Discuss ways to calm down. Talk to the child about
ways to calm down, sharing strategies that have worked in the
past (e.g., taking a time-out, taking deep breaths and counting
to 10, listening to music, taking a hot bath, going for a walk,
squeezing a Koosh ball, talking to a parent or friend). Make a
drawing or list (depending on the age and reading ability of the
child), and post it in a visible location. Refer back to it when
the child (or any family member) is becoming upset or angry.
To encourage mastery, practice these self-control strategies
when the child is not angry as well.
Make a family safety plan. Meet with all family
members together, and develop a safety plan. The purpose of
this plan would be to establish a protocol for what to do when
someone is angry and losing control. As part of the plan, set up
a quiet, safe area in the house where a family member can go
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P R A C T I C E S

when feeling angry. Make a Do Not Disturb sign to display

when someone is there and does not want to be bothered.
Another part of this plan would include a policy to process the
blow-up after those involved have calmed down. Talk about
what happened, including (a) what caused them to get angry,
(b) other ways to have shown the anger, (c) what they might do
differently next time, and (d) how to right the situation. If the
child has hurt someone, the child needs to take responsibility.
Discuss possible ways of repairing the damage (e.g.,
apologizing to those involved, doing something nice for them).
Model use of this plan, and encourage other family members to
use it as well.
Focus on prevention. It is also important to work on
preventing angry outbursts. First, encourage a positive focus in
the family, and compliment family members often. Second,
encourage family members to use appropriate emotional
expression. Third, encourage immediate attention to concerns
and/or conflict to avoid the build-up of emotion over time.
Fourth, monitor what the child and other family members are
watching and listening to (e.g., on television, videos, DVDs,
computer games, radio, CDs). Discourage exposure to violent
programs and music. Finally, encourage the use of the selfcontrol strategies at the first sign of anger. Then talk about
what is going on, how the child feels, and what to do to make
the situation better.
Model appropriate emotional expression. Show the
child appropriate ways to express emotions on a daily basis,
both positive or negative (e.g., I feel happy when we are
together., I feel sad when you are sad., I feel angry when
other drivers dont look before they switch lanes.). Also model
the use of nonverbal methods, such as writing in a diary or
journal, drawing a picture, or playing the piano. The child will
be more likely to use appropriate expression if the parents do
so. Encourage the daily use of these strategies.
Role-play appropriate emotional expression. As a
family, practice ways to express feelings, resolve conflict, and
get ones needs met without anger. Possible areas to work on
include (a) joining in so as not to feel left out, (b) starting a
conversation, (c) sharing something, (d) helping others, (e)
negotiating, (f) responding to teasing, (g) making a complaint,
and (h) using self-control. Make it a game, and have fun with
it. Everyone will benefit!

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P R A C T I C E S

Encourage positive interactions. To practice positive

interactions, have the child invite friends over or invite
people over that have children close to the same age as the
child. While they play, help the child to use positive social
skills and emotional expression. If negative situations arise,
coach the child through them, using the skills that the child
has been learning. Reinforce the childs positive efforts.
Work closely with teacher and school staff. Develop
a communication system with the childs teacher and
pertinent school staff. Let the school know what it being
done at home, and find out what is being done at school. This
teamwork will enable the parents and school staff to support
each other and ultimately better help the child.

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Safety

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Student will be safe with peers and staff.

Student harms others with physical contact,
such as hitting, biting, or kicking.

STUDENT

Understand problem. Pay attention to the

aggression/violence, and ask the following questions: (a)
When does it happen? (b) Where? (c) What else is going on
when it happens? (d) Who is there? (e) How often does it
happen? (f) What feelings are associated with it (e.g., anger,
frustration, sadness, embarrassment, excitement)? and (g)
What purpose does the aggression/violence serve (e.g., does
it bring extra attention from others?). Discuss these concerns
with teachers, parents, a good friend, or a trusted adult.
Together set a goal to decrease the aggression and increase
acts of self-control. Then monitor both the aggression and the
self-control using a simple chart. Each day tally the number
of times there was aggression and the number of times there
might have been aggression but there was self-control
instead. Work to decrease the frequency of aggression and
increase the frequency of self-control.
Be aware of feelings. Pay attention to what anger
feels like (e.g., tight muscles, red face, tight fists, rapid
breathing). Also pay attention to thoughts when angry (e.g.,
Im no good.; He makes me so mad. I want to hurt him.;
Ill show them.; Im right, and shes wrong.). Notice
when feelings of anger are beginning, and then focus on
strategies to calm down. Possible ideas include (a) taking a
time-out, (b) taking deep breaths, (c) counting to 10, (d)
walking away from stressful situations that could lead to
aggression, (e) staying away from others that elicit angry
feelings, (f) listening to music, (g) drawing, (h) reading, (i)
going for a walk, (j) writing in a journal, (k) talking with
friends, and (l) squeezing a Koosh ball, stress ball, or small
bean bag. Post a list of these strategies, and refer to it often.
Practice using them not only when feeling angry, but also
when not feeling angry to improve their effectiveness.
Practice self-expression. Practice using Istatements to express feelings (e.g., I feel angry when you
dont choose me to be on your team., I feel sad when you
ignore me., I feel happy when you include me in your
game., I feel angry when you call me names., I feel
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P R A C T I C E S

do poorly on a test., I feel proud when I can control my

anger.). Other forms of self-expression include writing, doing
art, singing or playing music, and acting.
Designate a quiet area to calm down. Talk to teachers
or parents about designating a particular space in the
classroom or at home as a quiet area. Use this as a place to
go and calm down when feeling angry. If this space is in use by
someone else, be respectful, and wait for a turn in the quiet
area. Use alternative coping strategies while waiting (e.g.,
deep breathing; writing in a journal; talking with a peer,
teacher, or family member).
Focus on positives. Using a journal, diary, or even Postit notes, document positive progress and achievements. Look at
these notes often as a reminder of the good work being done.
Also focus on positive self-talk (i.e., those internal thoughts
about self). For example, when a mistake has been made,
consciously saying I made a mistake, but with practice I will
do better rather than Im dumb. Also compliment self when
using self-control, such as I did it! I told Sue how I felt without
being insulting or mean. Share positive thoughts with others
whenever possible, and graciously receive them when a
compliment is given.
Learn from others. Watch peers to see how they cope
with anger and difficult situations. Identify other students who
seem to be good at handling their anger. Watch how they carry
themselves, interact with others, and cope with situations in
which things do not go the way they want. Also watch how
others react to them, in both positive and negative situations.
Try to emulate their style, while continuing to practice positive
coping strategies.
Be realistic. Remember that anger is a universal feeling
that has its place in the realm of all emotions. The goal is not
to eliminate anger but to know how to effectively cope with it
and to resolve negative situations associated with it. Thus, set
small, realistic goals, and work steadily toward their
achievement. Bad habits are formed over time. Breaking these
habits is like learning any new skill. It requires patience, time,
and a lot of practice.

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Satisfying Interactions

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Students communicate with adults in a

positive manner.

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Students argue, have an attitude, or

engage in power struggles.

TEACHING
STRATEGIES

TEACHER

Model or imitate positive communication. Perhaps

the most powerful tool that teachers have available to them
is using the behavior that they wish the child to use on a dayto-day basis. It may also be the easiest and most effective
tool for producing the behavior that is desired. It is a matter
of using good communication with students. When points of
disagreement are reached, teachers have the opportunity to
demonstrate negotiating and reasoning skills.
Teach positive communication. It is often assumed
that children naturally have all the communication and
common sense skills that adults have once they reach a
certain age. The truth is that these skills and values are
acquired by a series of experiences and feedback from peers
and adults. By directly teaching positive communication
skills, teachers can help students to learn and master these
skills, as well as promote positive experiences with others. As
students come to feel more effective in communication and
more successful in relating to their peers and significant
adults, they will come to value these important life skills.
Show respectful attitude. Sometimes teachers can
develop a drill sergeant style when working with students
who have a habit of arguing. This practice can cause power
struggles to escalate. If a quiet, firm, and caring attitude is
used, it elicits more positive attention and response from
children, even if they are very argumentative. It is easier to
explain something or reach a compromise if a calm and
respectful style is used.
Use parroting back techniques. This is sometimes
called the broken record technique. A direction is given in
a calm, even voice. Students do not appear to have heard the
direction. Rather than confront the students and introduce
argument-like behavior, repeat the same direction in the
same tone of voice. If needed, it can be repeated even a
third or fourth time, still in that same calm tone of voice. It
is important to not escalate the situation by becoming louder
and more threatening as the directions are parroted.
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Help students understand negative consequences of

arguing. Most of the time, students do not get what they want
when they argue with parents or teachers. If teachers have an
atmosphere of open communication with their students, they
can talk about how effective this arguing style is for them. As
children get older and are better able to understand this
concept, they will be able to see the connection between
positive communication and getting their needs met.
Help students accept no. Everyone hates to hear this
word. Children are no different. This single word may be
responsible for more arguments than any other in the English
language. Students can be taught to accept no for an answer
and communicate their feelings in a positive manner. Social
skills programs provide many strategies for doing this.
Help students learn when to say no. While working
with students on accepting no, it is critical to teach them
that no has a place in their vocabulary. There are times
when saying no will keep them safe and will allow them to
avoid situations that do not coincide with their values. Social
skills programs have helpful strategies for teaching these skills
as well.
Use DEARMAN. One specific strategy to use to teach
students interpersonal effectiveness skills is DEARMAN, which
is taken from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (Linehan, 1993).
This is a strategy students can use to calmly ask for what they
need. D stands for describe the problem. E is to express
feelings and opinions. A is to assert oneself by directly asking
for what is wanted. R stands for reinforce/reward, meaning
to tell others what they will gain from the idea being
presented. M stands for (stay) mindful or do not be
distracted. A is for appear to be confident and positive. N
is to negotiate (i.e., be willing to give to others to get
something in return).
Use resources. For more information, see Goldstein
(1980); Long and Wood (1991); McGinnis and Goldstein (1984);
and M. Wood (1996).

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Satisfying Interactions

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
PARENT
STRATEGIES

Child communicates with adults in a

positive manner.
Child argues, has an attitude, or engages
in power struggles.

PARENT

Understand problem. Talk with the childs teacher

about the childs attitude, communication styles, and
interactions with others. Share concerns, and ask the teacher
for feedback. Discuss triggers for a poor attitude or negative
interactions and the consequences that follow. Share
observations from home as well. Develop a plan to address
the problem, and share feedback regularly to monitor
progress.
Talk with child. Discuss concerns with the child, and
ask for input. Talk about the childs perceptions, as well as
other concerns the child may have. Work together to identify
the triggers for negative interactions, as well as the
consequences that have followed. Discuss what might help
the child to have a more positive attitude (e.g., getting more
sleep, eating better, exercising regularly, smiling more). Also
talk about strategies that would encourage more positive
communication with others (e.g., initiating conversations,
complimenting others, asking questions, ignoring negative
comments, taking a time-out when feeling angry or
frustrated). Have the child set one goal, and then help to
monitor progress toward it.
Model positive interactions. Practice using positive
communication with the child, family members, and friends.
When talking to others, maintain eye contact, use a pleasant
tone, show interest in what they are saying, negotiate when
disagreements arise, and be willing to calmly walk away from
negative situations if necessary. And remember, good
communication is not just about talking, but it is also about
listening. Pay attention, and be respectful when others are
speaking. Wait for them to finish, and do not interrupt. If
what they are saying is unclear, politely paraphrase what has
been said, or ask questions for clarification. If children see
their parents using good communication skills, they are more
likely to learn from these interactions and communicate
positively as well.

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P R A C T I C E S

Monitor power struggles at home. Be aware of the

triggers for negative interactions and power struggles
between family members. Watch for these triggers, and
develop strategies to defuse these situations before they
escalate (e.g., diversion, changing the subject, using humor,
reflecting feelings). Also work directly with family members
to avoid negative, unproductive situations and to promote
more positive, productive interactions.
Help child accept no. The word no is a frequent
trigger for arguments and power struggles. Children can be
taught to accept no for an answer and communicate their
feelings in a positive manner. Look for social skills programs,
or ask the childs teacher for suggestions.
Help child learn when to say no. While everyone
must accept a no from time to time, this word does hold an
important position in their vocabularies. Children must also
be taught the appropriate use of the word no. There are
times when saying no will keep them safe and will allow
them to avoid situations that do not coincide with their
values. Parents can model the use of no in social situations,
in response to requests from others, and when potential
obligations cannot be met.
Provide support and feedback. Catch the child having
a positive attitude and using good communication skills, and
reward these efforts (e.g., praise, hugs, stickers, privileges).
Discuss what is working, as well as ways to maintain this
positive attitude. If a power struggle is brewing or the child
has had a bad day, remain calm, and encourage the child to
calm down as well (e.g., take a time-out, listen to music, go
for a walk). Afterward, calmly discuss what went wrong, what
happened as a result, and what the child might have done
differently. Encourage the childs participation in this
discussion, and reinforce all efforts made.

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Satisfying Interactions

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Student communicates with adults in a

positive manner.
Student argues, has an attitude, or
engages in power struggles.

STUDENT

Be aware of rules and expectations. What are the

rules at school? Get a copy of the rules from the teacher or
other school staff. Ask them to review it, and ask questions if
anything is unclear. What about the rules at home? Talk with
parents about the rules and expectations at home. Again, ask
questions if anything is unclear.
Learn through observation. Ask parents if they could
demonstrate interactions that are expected at home. This is
maybe the best way to learn what parents expect. This is all
about good communication among family members. When
points of disagreement are reached, parents can demonstrate
negotiating and reasoning skills. At school observe teachers
and how they interact with others. A teacher that models
good communication probably encourages students to say
what they are thinking within the limits of the classroom
rules. Become a participant in these discussions to practice
good communication skills.
Work on communication skills. Others cannot read
your mind. To improve your interactions, work on being open
with others and expressing what you desire or are thinking.
When others do not know what you want, or what you
believe, they will act for you. Thus, communicate what you
would like to see happen or what you would like others to
know. It is hard to always be open. If you are having
difficulty expressing yourself, begin by stating bits of
information. This will help you begin the communication
process.
Be calm during interactions. When people argue, they
usually do not get what they want. In fact, sometimes parents
and teachers use a drill sergeant style in response when
people are argumentative. Using this style can escalate the
situation, causing even more arguments to occur. When
talking with others, use a quiet, firm voice. By demonstrating
control and the ability to speak and listen, more positive

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P R A C T I C E S

attention will come from parents and teachers. When a calm

style is used, it is easier to explain oneself or reach a
compromise that is agreeable to everyone.
Accept no for an answer. Everyone hates to hear this
word. This single word may be responsible for more arguments
than any other in the English language. Learning to accept no
as an answer is a huge accomplishment. There are many ways
to practice a positive reaction to being given a no. If the
word no does not automatically trigger an argument, it will
be easier to talk to parents about what has to happen to get a
yes answer.
Know when to say no. There are times when it is
essential to say no. These times are necessary to keep
people safe and will allow them to avoid situations that are not
consistent with their value systems. It is important to talk with
parents, teachers, and friends about different situations,
discussing when it is appropriate to go along with others and
when it is not. Spend time defining values, and know when to
say no.
Use DEARMAN technique. If the goal is to convince
parents or teachers of a certain point of view, use a technique
called DEARMAN. Each of the letters stands for a step to take
to help calmly convince others. D stands for describe the
problem. E stands for express feelings or opinions. A
stands for assert self by asking for what is wanted. R stands
for reinforce/reward the person (i.e., tell what will be gained
from the idea). M stands for stay mindful or do not be
distracted. A stands for appear confident. N stands for
negotiate (i.e., be willing to give to others to get something in
return).
Allow others to help. There is a strategy that teachers
use called the broken record technique. The teacher gives a
direction in a calm, even voice. If the student does not change
behavior or does not seem to have heard the direction, the
direction is repeated again in the same tone of voice (rather
than confronting or arguing with the student). If needed, it is
repeated a third and fourth time. The voice remains the same
each time. As the student, it is important not to escalate the
situation by reacting negatively to the directions being given
(e.g., saying Okay. instead of shouting I heard you
already!).

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Staying in Designated Area

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

Students stay in the designated area (i.e.,

seat, playground, wherever they were
asked/expected to be).
Students wander in class, walk out of class,
or run away.

TEACHER

Clearly define problem. To address the problem, it is

important to first identify the reason(s) why students are not
staying in designated areas. Steps in this process include: (a)
Track the behavior, noting when it happens; what is going on
around the students before, during, and after noncompliance
occurs; and its frequency. Also include responses from other
staff and the students peers. (b) Look for patterns in the
information gathered (e.g., Do students wander or run away
when they are excluded from a group, during transitions,
during free time in class?). What are the results of the
behavior (i.e., attention from staff or peers)? (c) Interview or
talk with students in a nonjudgmental manner. It may be that
they are unaware of concerns regarding their noncompliance.
(d) Make an educated guess as to why they are not staying in
the designated areas (e.g., wanting attention, unable to
express ones feelings in appropriate ways, lacking social
skills for interacting with peers, low self-esteem,
inattention). (e) Choose strategies based on these reasons,
monitoring progress and giving enough time for the strategies
to work.
Post clear rules. Use five basic rules, such as (a)
follow directions, (b) keep hands and feet to oneself, (c) use
appropriate language, (d) raise hand to talk, and (e) stay in
the designated area. Discuss these rules, and make sure all
the students understand what each rule means, what will
happen when the rule is followed, and what will happen when
it is not followed.
Set clear expectations. Be specific in classroom
expectations (e.g., Please stay in your seat., You need to
be seated to complete this assignment., When you are out
of your area, you will not earn points for this
assignment/activity.). Be clear about the consequences
when expectations are not met.
Develop contract. Make a simple contract with
students to address over activity. Allow students to provide
input, and post it on or near their desk.
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P R A C T I C E S

Use consistent structure. Use the same classroom

routine on a daily basis, and post the daily schedule to
prevent lag time. This consistency will help students to better
predict when they are expected to be where.
Monitor length of instruction. Keep the time frame
short, and build in frequent opportunities for movement to
get the wiggles out. Using music and movement during
instruction can also help kids with high activity levels stay on
task and be focused.
Change seating arrangements. Position the students
desk in the area next to the teaching area to facilitate instant
monitoring/positive feedback. If necessary, change groupings
to facilitate the best seating arrangement for the student.
Use floor markers. Define the appropriate area where
students should be by using tape on the floor. Different colors
of tape could be used for appropriate areas and off limits
areas.
Change room arrangement. If students are always
getting out of their seats to obtain materials, bring the
materials to them, have them be helpers to pass out
materials, or rearrange the room so that everything is close
by for the completion of the project.
Be flexible. If the task can be completed with students
standing at their desk, working on the floor, in a bean bag, or
in another area, be flexible enough to allow these
accommodations. For some students, concentration is
increased in a position other than sitting at a desk.
Provide sensory input. Some students need to move
because their neurological systems need additional input.
Give them a Koosh ball, nubby seat cushions, gum to chew,
or a stress ball to squeeze to provide their systems with the
needed stimulation to stay in one place.
Minimize distractions. Sometimes students get
distracted by noises and get up to check out what they hear.
Encourage those students to wear noise-blocking headphones.
Use common language. Use the same statement each
time the student is wandering or is out of the designated area
in a calm, firm voice (e.g., You are out of the area.).
Use nonverbal cues. If students are wandering in the
class, say their names and then nonverbally cue them (e.g.,
shake head no, point to the designated area, move hand
down as if to say sit down.).
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Use positive reinforcement. Make positive statements

to students to encourage and support them (e.g., I know you
can stay in your seat., Lets see if you can do as well as you
did yesterday.). When students are doing what is expected
of them, it is recommended the teacher use tangible rewards
(e.g., points, privileges) or intangible reinforcement (e.g.,
praise, nonverbal positive responses). Use positive I
statements, such as I like it when you are seated., I like
the way you stay in your area., or I can see you want to
stay with the group by the way you are walking slowly with
us.
Remove audience. To decrease attention from other
students to negative behaviors (i.e., wandering, being
noncompliant), take the remainder of the class outside of the
area. This also serves to reinforce students who are following
directions.
Use role modeling. Use social skills training for the
entire class that will reinforce staying seated during
instruction, on the playground, or in the assigned area.
Illustrate what happens when students continually stay in
their areas (e.g., giving points, smiley faces, tokens). Have
students practice how to get positive attention in the
assigned area and reinforce their efforts.
Practice Playground Five Drills. To specifically
practice staying on the playground or other large area where
students can run away, do Playground Five Drills. Tell
students that there will be a signal from the teacher at
various times during playground time (e.g., a whistle or call
to them) and whoever gets to the teacher within 10 seconds
will get a prize (e.g., a sticker, small edible treat, or a high
five). This will keep students within close proximity and will
allow students who return quickly to be positive role models
for the students who wander away.
Encourage self-monitoring. Have students put a tally
sheet on the desk to track when they stay in the designated
area. Review these sheets, and reward students numerous
times throughout the day for staying in assigned areas.
Directly address tendency to run away. If students
do run away unexpectedly (i.e., bolt off), put an alarm on
the classroom door, and have a quick response system in
place for the students safety. Use extra care with these
students when in open areas.

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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Use resources. For more information, see Choate

(2004); Fay andFunk (1995); Flick (1998); Friend and Bursuck
(2001); Huggins, Wood Manion, and Moen (1994); McCarney
(1994); McGinnis & Goldstein (1984); Long and Wood (1991);
Rhode, Jensen, and Reavis (1992); Weltman Begun (1995);
and M. Wood (1996).

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Staying in Designated Area

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR

Child stays in the designated area (i.e.,

seat, on the playground, in the yard, with
parents at the store).

OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR

Child wanders, walks out of class, or runs

away.

PARENT
STRATEGIES

PARENT

Clearly state house rules. Make sure all family

members are aware of the house rules, especially those
related to where they are supposed to be at any given time or
what they are expected to be doing in specific situations.
Possible examples include (a) staying together at the store
unless other arrangements are made; (b) holding a parents
hand or onto the shopping cart at the grocery store; (c) asking
before going to a different part of the neighborhood, park, or
store; or (d) staying in ones room at night after the lights are
turned out. Discuss these rules, encourage questions, and
clarify any confusion about what is expected. Make it very
clear what will happen when the rules are followed and the
consequences when rules are broken. Be consistent in
applying these consequences, whether positive or negative.
Involve child in process. Talk to the child about the
problem to better understand what is going on and possible
strategies to solve it. Ask the child what makes it easier to be
where one should be and what makes it harder. Together set
a realistic goal to improve this behavior. Have the child
monitor progress toward this goal. For example, put a tally
sheet on the refrigerator on which the child can chart
positive behaviors. This direct feedback can be rewarding to
the child and help keep the child on track toward the
specified goal.
Constantly set clear expectations. Each day be very
clear about what is expected from the child, whether it is
staying (a) in the bedroom while doing homework, (b) in the
yard while playing outside, or (c) with a parent while at the
store. Explain specifically where the child is to be, what the
child is to do, and how long the child will be there. If
necessary, give the child a timer or watch to keep track of
time. During problem situations, frequently remind the child
what is expected, but also be realistic about expectations
(e.g., allowing the child to take breaks during the homework
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

process and come out of the bedroom; providing periodic

supervision outside; keeping shopping trips short). The goal is
to help the child to be successful.
Support and encourage child. Give the child frequent
prompts and reminders (e.g., I know you can stay in your room
until you have finished., I can see you want to stay with me
by the way you are walking next to me., Dont forget to hold
my hand when we cross the street., I like the way you ask to
go to a different play structure at the park.). Be consistent
and use the same words when approaching difficult situations
(e.g., You need to walk with me.).
Plan trips realistically. When wandering or running off
at stores or in public places is an issue, keep outings short and
very structured. Encourage the child to bring along something
interesting to do (e.g., quiet toys, books, paper and pens). Or
engage the child in the activity (e.g., helping to push the cart,
monitoring the shopping list, helping to find necessary items in
the store). Other options include word games, 20 Questions,
singing songs, or telling stories. Once short trips are
consistently successful, slowly work up to longer trips.
Provide feedback. Catch the child doing what is
expected, and reinforce with tangible rewards (points, stickers,
privileges) or intangibles (praise, a hug, or other nonverbal
gestures). If the child is having difficulty (e.g., wandering off),
say the childs name and give an agreed upon nonverbal cue
(e.g., shaking head no). If the child continues to wander and
the situation becomes unsafe, end the shopping trip, play date,
or other expedition calmly, and go home. Take time to cool off
if necessary. Discuss what happened and the consequences for
the behavior. Try to do this in a calm, supportive manner. Use
I-statements to discuss your concerns and feelings, and
encourage the child to do the same. Also discuss how the
situation might be handled differently in the future. End the
discussion on a positive note, reinforcing participation in this
discussion, as well as in problem solving for future successes.
Restrict attention for wandering. Sometimes negative
situations cannot be changed or ended abruptly (e.g., being on
an airplane, in the doctors office). In these cases, take the
child to a quiet, contained place (e.g., the bathroom, quiet
corner) to decrease the stimulation and reinforcement that
onlookers may inadvertently be providing. Possible strategies to
improve the situation include (a) talking about what is going on
calmly, and discussing ways to make it better; (b) using
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PARENT
STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

distraction to change the mood; or (c) using humor to lighten

up the situation.
Teach positive attention-seeking strategies. Practice
how to get positive attention by staying in the assigned area or
doing what one is expected to be doing. Make it fun by
including the whole family. Discuss tough situations,
brainstorming positive solutions and role-out playing ways to
carry them out. Reinforce the child (and others) for making
positive choices and doing what is expected (e.g., using praise,
points, smiley faces, stickers). Enlist the help of other family
members in giving positive attention when the child stays
where the child is supposed to be.
Teach positive coping strategies. Some children seem
to have a greater need to move because their neurological
systems need the input to function properly. If this seems to be
the case, give the child a Koosh ball, chewing gum, a stress
ball to squeeze, or books to read to provide extra stimulation
that might be needed to stay in one place.
Use Playground Five Drills. Have the child practice
staying close by in a store or public park by playing a game.
Discuss the rules before going out, which are that the childs
name will be called (or make it even more fun by whistling or
singing a song) and if the child comes back in response to this,
the child will immediately get a prize (e.g., sticker, small
edible treat, hug/kiss, or high five). Call the childs name (or
whistle or sing) intermittently, and each time the child
responds, reinforce it positively.
Be open to different strategies. If talking, teaching,
support, and reinforcement are not working and safety
continues to be an issue, look into more restrictive strategies.
For children who run away unexpectedly (i.e., bolt off), put
alarms on windows or doors. There are also wrist or ankle
bracelet systems that will go off if the child wanders too far
away in the store or in an open public area.
Use resources. For more information, see Canter,
Canter, and Schadlow, (1985); Fay and Funk (1995); Flick
(1998); Rhode, Jensen, and Reavis (1992); and Zionts, Zionts,
and Simpson (2002).

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Staying in Designated Area

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Students stay in the designated area (i.e.,

seat, playground, wherever they were
asked/expected to be).
Students wander in class, walk out of class,
or run away.

STUDENT

Know classroom rules. Talk with the teacher about the

classroom rules and expectations. Make sure these rules are
understood, and ask questions when they are unclear. Be
especially clear about what happens when rules are followed
and what happens when they are not. If necessary, ask the
teacher to tape off the designated area on the floor where one
is expected to stay (or tape off areas that are considered off
limits).
Make a contract. Together with a parent or teacher,
develop a simple contract to address the need to stay in ones
seat or designated area. State what is expected and what
rewards will be received if these expectations are met. Then
put a tally sheet on the desk, and monitor progress toward this
goal. Work hard, and take pride in accomplishments that are
made.
Practice positive attention-seeking strategies. Talk to
parents and/or teachers about ways to get attention in a more
positive manner, while staying in the designated area. If the
motivation for getting up is get assistance or share information,
try raising a hand instead. If boredom is the reason for getting
up, focus even harder on the task at hand or read a book to
help pass time while waiting. If students are being distracted
by noises in the classroom, leading to a desire to get up, they
can ask the teacher if they can wear noise-blocking headphones
to decrease the likelihood of distraction. If materials are
needed, ask to move to a place where everything is close by, so
there is no need to get up. If there is a simple need for
attention from others, ask for it (e.g., raising hand, asking
questions, initiating conversation with peers close by when
appropriate). Practice these skills knowing that, like any other
skills, it will take time to master them.
Monitor self during day. When it becomes difficult to
sit still during the day, ask to get up and get the wiggles out.
Or ask to change positions, such as to work standing by the
desk, on the floor, in a bean bag chair, or in another part of
the room.
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Use positive self-talk. Everyone talks to themselves out

loud or in their heads. Focus on positive statements that will
encourage success (e.g., I know I can stay in my seat., I
know I can walk with my mom at the store.). Repeat
statements such as these regularly to promote confidence in
the ability to make changes.

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Waiting to Talk

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
TEACHING
STRATEGIES

Students raise their hand to talk.

Students interrupt others when they are
talking, as well as talking out of turn, or
blurting out answers.

TEACHER

Clearly define problem. To address the problem, it is

important to first identify the reason(s) why students are
being destructive. Steps in this process include (a) Track the
behavior, noting when it happens; what is going on around
the students before, during, and after this behavior occurs;
and its frequency. Also include responses from other staff and
the students peers. (b) Look for patterns in the information
gathered (e.g., Do students interrupt when they are angry,
when they are excluded from a group, during transitions,
during free time in class?). What are the results of the
behavior (i.e., attention from staff or peers)? (c) Interview or
talk with students in a nonjudgmental manner. It may be that
they are unaware of concerns regarding their tendency to
interrupt. (d) Make an educated guess as to why they tend to
interrupt others (e.g., wanting attention, unable to express
ones feelings in appropriate ways, lacking social skills for
interacting with peers, low self-esteem, inattention). (e)
Choose strategies based on these reasons, monitoring
progress and giving enough time for the strategies to work.
Post clear rules. Use five basic rules, such as (a)
follow directions, (b) keep hands and feet to oneself, (c) use
appropriate language, (d) raise hand to talk, and (e) stay in
designated area. Discuss these rules, and make sure all the
students understand what each rule means, what will happen
when the rule is followed, and what will happen when it is
not followed.
Set clear expectations. Be specific in classroom
expectations (e.g., Please raise your hand., You need to
wait until you are called on to talk.). Be clear about the
consequences when expectations are not met. Be consistent
in carrying out these consequences. Do not make statements
that one is unwilling or reluctant to carry out.
Encourage self-monitoring. Have students put a tally
sheet on their desk to track each time they talk out in class.
This will help them to understand the frequency with which
they interrupt or talk out in class. Encourage them to do this
daily, and reward students as the frequency diminishes.
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Reinforce positive efforts. Acknowledge students for

doing what is expected with a tangible reward (e.g., points,
privileges) or intangible reinforcement (e.g., praise, nonverbal
positive responses, extra attention). Use positive Istatements (e.g., I like the way you remembered to raise
your hand before talking., I like the way you let finish
what they were saying., or I am proud of you for waiting to
talk and raise your hand.).
Change seating arrangement. Put the students desk in
the area next to the teaching area to facilitate instant
monitoring/positive feedback. If necessary, change groups to
facilitate the best seating arrangement for the student. For
example, seat students near a peer who can act as a positive
role model.
Ignore interruptions. Oftentimes, it is best to ignore
interruptions. Do not call on students who are speaking out;
however, do call on them as soon as they raise their hand.
Use nonverbal cues. When ignoring the interruption is
not possible, use nonverbal cues to prompt the desired
response. For example, raise own hand (as a quiet reminder)
before responding; put hand to lips, as in Shh; or give a
thumbs up when students remember to raise their hand.
Practice role modeling. Use social skills training for the
entire class that will reinforce raising ones hand in class and
waiting to speak. Both the teacher as well as students can
practice this. Play games that require participants to wait their
turn and raise their hand.

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Waiting to Talk

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
PARENT
STRATEGIES

Child waits for a turn to talk.

Child interrupts others when they are
talking, as well as talking out of turn.

PARENT

Be clear about house rules. Develop very clear house

rules about communication, taking turns, and respect. Discuss
these rules with the child and other family members. Make the
expectations very clear (e.g., Please dont talk until I am
finished., Dont interrupt your brother when he is telling a
story., When I ask your sister a question, dont give the
answer for her.). Make it very clear what will happen when
the rules are followed and the consequences when the rules
are broken. Be consistent in applying these consequences,
whether positive or negative.
Set realistic goals. Monitor the problem by counting the
number of times the child waits/does not interrupt during
conversation vs. how often the child does interrupt. Look at
the triggers for these interruptions to better understand the
problem. Then with the child, set a small, realistic goal toward
positive change. Make a chart, and record the number of times
the child waits to speak. Have the child monitor progress as
well, using a tally sheet on the refrigerator.
Reinforce childs efforts. Using positive I-statements,
reinforce the childs efforts to wait for a turn in the
conversation (e.g., I like the way you remembered to wait
while I finished talking on the phone., I like the way you let
your brother finish what he was saying before you talked.).
Also praise other family members for modeling this behavior
(e.g., Johnny, great job remembering to let me finish what I
was saying before you talked. Next time your brother will
remember too.). When the child has met the established goal,
provide a reward (e.g., treat, small toy, privilege), and then
set a new goal. Reward goals consistently when reached, but as
the process continues, start fading this reinforcement.
Continue to provide praise and affection throughout the
process.
Be realistic about interruptions. In the beginning,
expect there will be times when the child forgets to wait for a
turn. Provide a gentle verbal reminder to wait or a nonverbal
cue (e.g., hold one finger up as if to say Just a minute.).
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STRATEGIES

P R A C T I C E S

Or let the child know how long the wait might be, using a
watch or timer. Another approach is to ignore the
interruptions. Then when the child does wait, immediately pay
attention, and talk with the child. Each time reinforce the
childs efforts with praise, hugs, high fives, or a thumbs
up. If the child becomes frustrated during the process, remind
the child that change is slow. Remember that major changes do
not happen overnight, and work together to build on the small
changes for lasting success. Expect the occasional backslide,
knowing that they will become less frequent as the positive
communication becomes routine.
Practice waiting skills. Give the child imaginary
situations where it is necessary to wait (e.g., when the parent
is talking on phone or to someone else, and the child wants to
talk with the parent). Role-play these situations, thinking up
ways to make the waiting easier (e.g., going off to play until
the parent is finished, reading a book). Another way to practice
waiting is to play games that require taking turns. Make it even
more fun by involving the whole family.
Talk with teacher and staff. Work with the childs
teacher and related staff to support the childs efforts. Share
feedback from the school with the child, and post positive
notes where everyone can see them. Working together with the
teacher and school staff builds a strong team and shows that
everyone cares about the childs success.
Use resources. For more information, see Canter,
Canter, and Schadlow (1985); Fay and Funk (1995); Flick
(1998); and Zionts, Zionts, and Simpson (2002).

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B E S T

P R A C T I C E S
Waiting to Talk

DESIRED
BEHAVIOR
OBSERVABLE
BEHAVIOR
STUDENT
STRATEGIES

Student raises hand to talk.

Student interrupts others when they are
talking , as well as talking out of turn, or
blurting out answers.

STUDENT

Follow the rules. Be aware of the rules and

expectations at home and at school (e.g., Wait my turn to
talk.). Ask questions to clarify anything that is not
understood. Make sure it is clear what will happen when the
rules are followed and what will happen when they are not.
Monitor behavior. One way students can wait to talk
is to raise their hand. To monitor this, set a goal (e.g., I
will stop myself from interrupting and raise my hand xx
times.). Then count the number of times the hand is raised
during each period, calculating the total at the end of the
day. Negotiate with parents and teachers for rewards for
meeting the set goal.
Reinforce own behavior. Appreciate own progress
made, and use positive I-statements to reinforce own
behavior (e.g., I am proud of myself because I waited my
turn.). Share accomplishments with others (e.g., I
remembered to raise my hand before talking.).
Observe and model others. Watch other students in
class, and imitate those who remember to raise their hand
or wait their turn. Ask to sit next to the teacher if it might
help to remember to raise the hand and not interrupt. Or
ask to sit near peers who almost always remember to raise
their hands.
Celebrate positive behavior changes. Be patient,
and build on small changes. Do not expect major changes to
happen overnight. There will be times when it is more
difficult to wait, and interruptions will increase again, but it
will get easier and easier with time and practice.

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REFERENCES
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RESOURCES

P R A C T I C E S
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