Seesaw Principles in Life
What can we learn in life from a simple seesaw?
Take a look at the next picture.
What can we conclude? Can you deduct any principals from this picture?
Before discussing some principles it's interesting to study and to be aware
of the mathematical equation and the corresponding 'relational
equivalents' that are behind balanced seesaws.
A seesaw with one person (L) on the left several persons on the right is in
balance when:
ML . DL = Σ Mx . Dx
with
MP = the weight of person P
DP = the distance of person P to the center of the seesaw
For non-mathematicians, this formula simply states that in order to 'play'
and keep balance, the sum of the "weights" times the "distances"(to the
center) of the people on the right of the seesaw, have to equal the same
sum of people on the left (in this case only one).
Some simple conclusions from this formula are:
To keep balance on your own (no persons on the right of the seesaw),
you'll have to sit in the center of the seesaw (DL=0)
Two persons, L and M, of equally weight must take place at the same
distance from the center (DL=DM)
In order to balance more persons of equally weight on the right, the
person on left has to take place at a larger distance from the center
Now let's relate this formula to relationships in real life.
Balance
Read the word "Balance" as being "balanced in life". Things in life
run smooth, are stable and can be influenced and managed
Distance
Translate the physical entity "distance" to real life as either "physical,
emotional distance", or the "amount of connection" between people
With this knowledge, please study the picture again.
Although the number of possible associations is enormous, some
interesting examples can be given in the next three :
Seesaw Principles
1. Solo
When you're on your own, it's hard to keep balance in life
If you move, there's no one to keep you in balance.
You depend solely on your own view and interpretation of things.
You've got no one to discuss things with.
You're fully focused on keeping balance and making no mistakes.
You are not able to watch, enjoy, relax or remark things around you.
2. Partnership
Partnership gives stability in life.
To maintain balance you'll have to keep the right distance between
two partners. "Right" means often not exactly identical but
weighted with each other's competencies, positive and negative
characteristics, preferences and wishes.
Even if your partner differs from you, you can still bring the seesaw
back into balance by letting him give in or pulling him closer to you
(bringing him closer to the middle of the seesaw).It's obvious: Don't
give in yourself, things will get more worse. Of course you may
also increase your own distance to get into a balanced position.
After balancing, this could invite the other (he or she feels more
save) to come closer after all, in which case you can also come
closer to establish a new balance.
If you and your partner get 'too close', the relationship becomes
unstable.
Even if you live or work with a partner that's totally different, you'll
be able to find the right balance, by increasing the distance (meet
less often, use telephone or write letters instead of physical
meeting(s), move away, take a holiday or break, etc).
When you and your partner (e.g. the seesaw) are in balance, giving
and taking (e.g. 'playing seesaw, going up and down) take no effort
at all and is fun.
By applying seesaw principles it's possible to create a sort of lever
with which you can increase your force or that of your partner,
whatever the situation requires.
3. Management
Managers have to keep distance.
Although you are perhaps a real 'people manager' or a 'family
organizer', if you work with larger groups (more than two people on
the right side of the seesaw), always increase and manage your
distance in such way that you are able to 'steer the group' and that
mutual respect can be maintained.
If the situation urges you to work more closely together, create sub
groups or plan individual one-to-one meetings.
If, for what reason, you can't create enough distance, ask the 'right
team member' to join you in steering (let this person join you on the
left of the seesaw).
Next time you're having difficulty in keeping your balance, remember the
Seesaw Principles.
© Jos Berkemeijer February, 2008