AT WITS END By Mohammed Jamil

All rights reserved

Mohammed Jamil

AT WITS END 1 INT. GABRIEL HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY 1 9.55AM Gabriel is looking at the contract he signed when he got the house, which is in a picture frame on the wall of his kitchen. GAB Why did I sign this thing again Looks closer at the picture frame God, some of the stuff in this contract is just odd, Will not watch Eastenders at any cost, I know dad loves corrie but that one is just ridiculous Walks towards and opens his fridge Why is this always empty, its like there more than us two living here, right shops it is then Closes the fridge door 2 INT. GABRIEL HOUSE - LIVING ROOM 1 - DAY 1 10.00AM 2 1

The sound of the television can be heard in the background of an argument between Josh and Elvis Presley JOSH Look Elvis Presley I dont care if you are the king of rock and roll. Saying Matt Smith portrayal of the Doctor is the best does not make it right ELV .............................. JOSH I dont care if you are talking about the new series ELV .............................. JOSH Hey you leave John Barrowman out of this! Gabriel enters the room GAB Hey Josh,..... who were you talking two?

(CONTINUED)

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2.

JOSH TV.... Yep TV good old TV GAB But the Television is not even on JOSH Exactly, that will teach IT to talk back to me GAB OK........, did you put that ad in the university news paper about the spare room for rent JOSH Yep sure did Josh trows Gabriel a newspaper GAB Ah bloody hell Josh, you trying to kill me JOSH Nooooo, Inner Monologue He knows.... GAB Gabriel reads the newspaper out loud Spare room for rent, 400 pounds a month.... 400 pounds..... does that seem too much JOSH 1 million pound GAB 1 million pound, thanks for the input as always JOSH You are welcome, no charge as always ELV .............................. JOSH Yeah he does look like him GAB What?

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CONTINUED: (3) JOSH Nothing Noel GAB Did you just call me Noel JOSH Edmond no, you must be going mad or something GAB Puts down newspaper Well am going to the shop,do you want anything ELV ......................... JOSH How would he, he cant see you GAB Sorry is their someone behide me JOSH I want a solid gold mars bar GAB A solid gold mars bar from the corner shop JOSH Yes a pure solid gold mars bar GAB And if for some reason they dont sell that, then what would you want JOSH Ermm, ask if they sell Time itself GAB OK and if they dont sell that, then what would you want JOSH They dont sell gold mars bars or time it self, what type of shop is this GAB The corner shop, you know that small shop at the end of our road, do you want anything?

3.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (4) JOSH ......Packet of crisps GAB Bye then

4.

Gabriel tries to open the door but forgets that the door handle is missing Josh, remind me why is there no door handle to this door JOSH Well its simple really, its because I needed something that could stop a dalek GAB Inner Monologue mmmmm Why did I even asked ,must get this fixed Opens the door and leaves the room JOSH He cant see you Elvis, so how could he ask you ELV .................. JOSH And no I dont wanna kill him.......Not Yet wait till he signs that life insurance document.....then I can legally buy John Barrowman and live happily ever after 3 INT. GABRIEL HOUSE - HALL WAY - 10.05 GAB Gabriel opens the front door of the house and is knocked on the head by a umbrella handle, knocking him out GWEN Looking down at Gabriel who is on the floor dazed Hello there! GAB Looking up at Gwen Inner Monologue; Am I in heaven. wow she looks like a angel (CONTINUED) 3

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5.

GWEN Sorry about that, not so perfect timing, are you ok? GAB What happened? GWEN You caught the end of my umbrella handle GAB Felt like a brick Josh enters the hallway JOSH Gab ask if they sell coke by that I mean the drink not the drug, Oh hello hello whats going on here then GWEN I think your friend caught the end of my umbrella while opening the door, really bad timing JOSH Ha thats Gabriel for you a right monkey GWEN Gabriel like the angel Gabriel, thats a cool name GAB Whats your name GWEN Its Gwen, are you OK?, I have had some first aid training GAB Inner Monologue First aid training you say? GWEN Do you feel OK GAB No, I think I might need some mouth to mouth resuscitation

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (3) JOSH Step aside i got this, open wide Gab Attempts to give Gabriel mouth to mouth resuscitation GAB On second thought I think am fine, Yeah takes more than that to keep a Saxon down Gabriel gets up and trys to walk but falls back down GWEN OK lets get you inside Josh and Gwen carry Gabriel into the living room JOSH Your heavy GAB Oh! i have you know thats Christmas wight mate JOSH Christmas was 9 months ago mate!!

6.

ALL 3 GO INTO LIVING ROOM 4 INT. GABRIEL HOUSE - LIVING ROOM 1 - DAY 1 10.10 Josh and Gwen put Gabriel down on the sofa GWEN Again so sorry about that GAB Why were you carrying a umbrella, its sunny outside? GWEN Well were am from the weather changes so much is handy to have a umbrella GAB And where are you from JOSH Mars GWEN Well I have a welsh accent so that must mean am from...... waiting for others to respond 4

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7.

JOSH The moon GWEN No, close am from wales, again so sorry for knocking you out GAB Thats OK, Its not the first time I been knock out by a girl GWEN What was the other time? GAB In a boxing match GWEN You were in a boxing match with a girl GAB Oh nooooo, I only found out she was a girl at the end of the match Inner monologue After I lost to her in round 2 JOSH Yeah that was funny, recorded the whole thing, 50.000 views, just search for man gets owned by a girl on Youtube GWEN Thanks will do that Inner monologue never ever ever! GAB I think am in love GWEN Sorry? GAB Inner monologue Shit shit said that out loud, come on Gabriel think think.... JOSH What did you say?

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CONTINUED: (3) GAB I...... think am in pain Inner monologue Get in there Saxon GWEN Again am so sorry, if theirs is anyway I can make it up to you let me know GAB Inner Monologue Marry me maybe? GWEN Not a good first impression, i came about the room, oh well this is the first house on my list, is the room still free? JOSH 1 MILLION POUND! GAB Shut up Josh , yeah.... yes the spare room is still free GWEN Oh cool thats good, just got some question if you dont mind GAB Yep sure shoot away GWEN Opens the newspaper from earlier Could not tell from the ad, but who owns the house JOSH Gab GAB Parents, my parents own the house, well it was my grandmas house, now me and Josh live here for the uni, GWEN What do you guys study? GAB Oh am a philosophy and english literature student, hoping to become a writer

8.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (4) GWEN And your friend GAB If am honest, it changes ever week, last week he was doing drama this week its rocket science, what are you studying GWEN Photography,yeah fancy myself as the next Eve Arnold, and how much is the rent again? GAB 400.00 a month GWEN Seem a little at the top end of my price ladder GAB Inner Monologue Come on Gabriel think think, make the price lower JOSH Trust me its.... not worth it, GAB Shouts out loud 200.00 pounds GWEN Sorry? GAB Its 200.00 pound, Josh sent the wrong numbers to the eh... you know, newspaper!

9.

GWEN Oh wow thats great, I mean for a house this big i was imagining more... a lot more GAB Yeah silly you JOSH Inner Monologue Wait a minute... why are we each paying 400.00 pounds a month and (MORE) (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: (5) JOSH (contd) the newbie pays only 200.00 pounds GAB So what you think GWEN Well I should really look at the other proprieties first, but yes Ill take it, if you have me GAB Yes! I mean yeah, Josh what you think JOSH Star trek or star wars? GAB What? GWEN Star Trek all the way GAB Huh? JOSH Picard or Kirk GWEN Captain Jean Luc Picard JOSH .......She can stay GAB Inner Monologue She a Geek, wont hold that against her, I mean how could I..... GWEN Great Ill get my stuff from the hotel Gwen leaves the room JOSH Gab why is SHE paying half the rent me and you pay GAB Because Josh my lethal friend, She is going to be the future Mrs. Saxon

10.

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11.

JOSH Inner Monologue Does that mean I have to marry him so I can pay less rent GAB Shit! forgot to give her the spare key Gabriel goes to open the living room door, but Gwen opens it from the other side, thus knocking him out GWEN Sorry but did i leave my purse here Looking down at gab who is lying on the floor Hello There Knocking him out THE END