Kristen Baker Professor Presnell English 1103 21 Sept.

2013 Reflection The final draft of my Got Lit essay was 8 pages double space and in 12 point font. It had many paragraphs and several indentions where dialogue was placed. It took me hours to plan and write the essay, and even more to finalize the piece. In the end, the hours did not matter, because I felt that I had a work that summed up who I was and did so in a style that was unique to me. The final draft of my Got Lit essay though was more than just an object- it was symbolic of a journey that I have been on all of my life. It was a tangible thing that represented my recent realization of who I am, and much like the process of becoming me, the process of writing my Got Lit essay was also a learning experience. I originally was going to write my Got Lit essay as saying my alternative literacy was painting, because I do enjoy art and feel I am good at it, however I knew this was not my literacy, though I wish it was. I then felt my literacy was reading people, because I have always had a strong sense of empathy with everyone I meet, but alas, I also realized that this was not my literacy. My changing moment, the one that made me realize what my literacy was (though I already knew it deep down), was after a massive fall out of sorts between my suite mate and I. She had come home very intoxicated, and had brought three of her very intoxicated and very much underage friends with her. After all four of them barged into my room, I was enraged and filled with flashbacks from high school when I heard about the kids who partied and watched my own friends be ruined by

alcohol. I knew then what my literacy was, my education, and I sat down and furiously, passionately, began to type away. My Got Lit story represents a great realization at a turbulent time in my life. Coming into college was a very difficult transition for me, as someone who is very close with her parents and is not very fond of change. As I came into the college world, I did struggle with some identity issues in the first few weeks, just because I had a great deal of hope as a result of my teachers in high school, Just wait until college, you will finally be with people on your level. I came here and realized that this wasnt exactly the case. For the most part, the people who I was meeting were just high school kids with access to too much alcohol and who did not understand how to handle freedom. Now this has changed in the month that I have been here, because I have found some truly wonderful and genuine people, all through the University Honors Program, who I feel I belong too. My realization though, was that it is okay to not fit in. It is perfectly all right if I choose to throw myself in to the world of academia. This world needs all sorts of people to make its gears turn, and I am okay with doing what I love, even if I am viewed as a social pariah in some aspects.

I chose to model my essay after two of the mini essays that we had in class: The Tender Bar by J.R. Moerhinger and Love of My Life by Cheryl Strayed. My goal was to have an essay that was as descriptive as The Tender Bar, but gritty and unapologetic like Love of My Life; I have always revered authors and writers who are brutally honest, and I feel I achieved this in writing my Got Lit essay.

I feel that my writing style is truly a product of a life filled with reading, made especially evident in my Got Lit essay; I try and take little aspects of my favorite authors and novels and attempt to culminate them into how I want to convey my message. For example, I like to think that I write the most like J.D. Sallinger did in The Catcher in the Rye. I love that novel as well as Sallingers ability to truly get his point across in a unique way where he truly embodies Holden. I also dream that my writing style will some day be more like John Steinbecks in East of Eden; I feel that that novel has the most beautiful imagery in any novel that I have ever read. Critiquing our essays in a group format was also really helpful for me in writing this essay. In past times I feel that only the teacher has commented on my essays, which leads to only one outside opinion altering your essay. In a group setting, I was able to have three other opinions who each gave me guidance and better allowed me to refine what I was writing.

This essay was so much more different than any essay that I have ever written. I can honestly say that I do not remember ever writing an essay that talked about who I am as a person and how I came to be that person. It was far more personal than anything I have ever written before, and I feel it is the first time that I have allowed myself to be uncensored in a school-affiliated writing piece. I did not bullshit anything in this essay, because I do not have any tolerance for it. This essay was so personal, that there was no reason to have any falsehood in it. Avoiding the B.S. was simple; if I felt that the topic (such as when I was going to say my alternative literacy was painting) that I was on needed to be embellished or

exaggerated, I knew it was not what I was meant to write about. I knew that writing about my alternative literacy should and would come naturally.

As this semester has progressed, my writing style has already changed. I have become more of an open and uncensored writer. In high school, I never would have used profanity in an English paper, but as I have embraced English in college, I feel like I can curse if I need to, because that is sometimes a part of who I am, and I should not have to censor my personality when I am truly writing from the heart. This semester has enabled me to get in touch with my roots and remember how much I love to write; Im actually thinking of becoming an English major. My greatest hope for the second portion of the semester is that I continue to love writing again, and that I get better at conveying my message and developing a style that is accurate to my voice. I want to keep being unfiltered and honest, regardless of the topic. I am certain that I will achieve these goals, because I already can see that I have made a great deal of progress in just our first portion of the semester.